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['Hey.Im here,Silly.When youre ready. ', 'I deactivate my facebook. I spent the latter part of my day together getting signatures to promote a new therapy club on campus for people in situations similar or maybe even in worse situations. I feel so much better after last night so I have to thank you, and everybody else.But. Im not completely healed. Maybe Ill never be, but I Hyperactive behavior the idea of waking up and having a purpose again: helping others. Im trying to befriend everybody here. Please dont take it weird, but I want to be your friend so badly. ', 'I cried half way reading your post. Thank you. Just... thank you.', 'God, your ability to express morosity is stunning. You remind me of Sylvia plath. And youll probably end up Hyperactive behavior her. Youre so damn smart Hyperactive behavior her, yet you have something she didnt, a real connection with people. Sylvia died before she knew how deeply appreciated her works were. I could literally count on my hands te number of times I wished she had a connection with somebody who fueled her, kept her going. You do. You have an entire community cheering for your success. Why in the fucking world would you give up? Youre so fucking young god I wish I was that age. I would go to school again and instead of doing the major my parents forced me into, Id major in English ad write and read ad share my thoughts in Shakespeare and fittz and scott and Blake and Taylor etc. Fuck. Youre spoiled to think life doesnt offer anything. Keep your head Drug abuse and use that superior knowledge of yours to do something amazing. I, we, every single person youve met before knows you can do it.Lets go conquer fucking Mental Depression together. Message me anything. Ill even skype, talk to you etc until youre Nausea of me and the only way you rid of me is by following my sappy, trite advice.', 'Sweeeeet.Thanks for taking time out of your day to draw for us reddit saps!Youre awesome.Heres my request, if you have the time and energy Ventricular Dysfunction, Left over!:: Barney in a hot air balloon, waving hi ::', 'And no. Im still in Mental Depression, but Ive managed to turn my Mental Depression into something worthwhile Hyperactive behavior helping others. Through that process of a bout 2-3 days, Ive met some amazing people and now I dont care to stop at all. ', 'HUZZAH~If you win, we all win. If you fall, we all fall. But the moment you rise, well all pull you up. Youre never alone because you have us. ', 'Dont stop.', 'What is it? Tell me all about it.', 'I was in the same situation. I know **exactly** how you feel man. The life gets sucked from you and everything you *thought* you did. It hurts. But. I went to suicidewatch/Mental Depression and I found immediate help. A voice. A damn voice. Not a loud voice nor a soft, condescending voice. A damn normal, human voice. And I tell ya, after the break-up, thats all I needed. Somebody to Crying Reflex, Abnormal to. And I did. Took 2 hours of his study time (day before exam) and cried Hyperactive behavior Niagara Falls. So. Shucks. Were all human beings here. We all know what its Hyperactive behavior. Youre not alone. Ever. Never alone. Im here. Were all here. Dont you god damn stop fighting for survival. Ive got all the band-aids youll ever need, man. Go out there and get messy again. God knows you miss the mud, ya cheeky bastard. ', 'It reminds me of Feyman when he talked about the stars. I thank you. Every single comment helps so much.', 'Hey.Mtgeue, is it?Its difficult, isnt it?I wish I could be in your shoes, take the Ache for you, and let you experience some of my joy for a second so that, without explanation, you understood how I overcame my grief, anguish, turmoils, and started realizing what real happiness was. Or, perhaps, you would know that there is *always* somebody out there who understands. Cares. Wants you to smile. Is also afraid. Needs a hug. Looks forward to a strangers smile. Likes you. Maybe even loves you. Shy to admit so.I know how how everyday feels. The Sad mood that awaits with every ticking second pummels down on your mood; happiness seems Hyperactive behavior a far-reaching goal that doesnt even render worth the chase anymore. Depression overcomes you in waves, followed by thoughts of parents, friends, possible moments of life where you are expected to be alive for. **Nothing makes sense** other than the cold splash of reality that... you are stuck. Stuck somewhere and you cant see the way out. The light at the end of the proverbial tunnel fades, leaving you stranded. In the dark. Alone. **wishing you had a hand to hold onto**. But he Ventricular Dysfunction, Left. But I didnt. **Im lost, too. I need somebodys hand so much.** I never Ventricular Dysfunction, Left the cave. Im looking for the way out. But, not just me. My friend Jose has been here by me. My friend Diana found the both of us. We havent given up. **Take our hand**. Well get out together. Maybe along the way, we can pick up the others. Yeah? **nods**. It hits hard. The Ache that acts in reverberation through the entire body hurts. And it does hit **hard**. Sometimes it knocks us down. **It knocks me down.** It knocks some of my friends down, too. Yet. Im here. Youre here. Apparently, we have something even harder to counter it. Be it hope? Maybe. For me, its people Hyperactive behavior you. Like Jose. Like Diana. Seeing them smile every so often even when theyre frowning 90% of the time is more than enough to make my body shake with excitement. With Life. With the anticipation that if theyre smiling *every so often*, that means there is something that they still respond to. Still react to. Still find enjoyment in. Still find themselves **alive** in spirit to move to. I remember. The verdant green flow that had held my vision for the ten seconds of when I held her hand, completely aloof to any other matter of awareness. I remember her hand touching mine and the warmth that flowed from her body to mine, channeled up to my heart, wrapping it, and sending it back to the other hand, down to the Earth. **We were part of it.** And when she went. The warmth also did. And so did the green. Blue. White. Breeze.But. **And this is a big "but", MtGueu**. I remembered, after some time, seeing the same verdant green. Speckled with white and purple flowers waving by the breezes whisper. I remember the blue, clear skies that mapped the entire earth with an embrace, warming it to vivid rays. I remember it all. And the same emotional connection remains. Intensifies. I dont feel her hand anymore. I feel the cool grass overlying the soil. But I dont miss her hand. The warmth returns. It comes from the earth itself. Ushering an entire new warmth. **I became the connection**. I became the warmth. The earth spoke to me, asking me to channel **my warmth** into it. I cannot begin to express how difficult your passage may be. There will be moments of severe anxiety. There will be those moments where youll stop, question yourself, and feel sluggish to even try to remember where you were going or what you were doing. Yet. Your legs move. Your heart beats. Your veins and arteries carry your life force. Your eyes are still able to capture beauty. Your hears still hear the laughter of others. Your face still something people find themselves blushing at. Your existence becomes needed. **You are needed**. Youre a variable in this equation, called **happiness**. But not just yours. Others. Other people need you. It may be incredibly selfish but its so important that you smile. Laugh. Run. Dance. And give **others a reason to do the same. They look to you.**It took me months to recover from my break-up with the only person I ever felt *love* for; it was the longest, cruelest three months of my life. Suicide was a constant contemplation. Food tasted bitter. The very air was pungent. Even my sisters brilliant smile faded. I reached out to this community after two months of frustration and the very first post I received offered a chance to talk. imagine thatA total stranger offered me his time to talk everything it. It was the first time I cried to a complete stranger on the phone. Ive learned to walk again. Now Im running. But not everybody will recover as fast as I did. Some will recover even faster. Others will languish for years before they pick up the pace and eventually are back in the marathon. **everybody wins** in our own way. I had to find pace of speed in the marathon and I found some people along the way that had the *same pace* I did! What a delight. We werent even in a marathon anymore. We were just friends on the path of happiness and we happened to be on the same stride. **Youll meet people of all different strides**. Trust me; theyre waiting for you to join them. So. **Dance.****Live.****Make your presence known to the world**.**Crack a smile or two. Youre beautiful beyond words.**---------And as always.Im here.Were here.Waiting.When youre ready. We wont go.We wont judge.We wont ask you what took so long.We will listen. We will Crying Reflex, Abnormal when you Crying Reflex, Abnormal.We will laugh when you laugh.We will run with you, because as much as you need us, we **need you** just as much, if not more.-----If ever you need, Im always a pm away.Ive multiple mediums of conversation. Lets dance together. ', 'I dont want to hijack your thread, but Im also offering penpal services. I always enjoy reclining after a day of turmoil and reading somebodys heartfelt messages. Kudos to you, instantkarma for reaching out. Kudos to those taking up the offer; extending a hand is always a brave thing to do. ', 'Depression affects everybody. Im not sorry you broke up with him; Im sorry your recovery is starting so late. **Fuck it.** Make it rain on the concrete and grass with your Increased Sweating as you take feet to the ground and run. Make books fear your gaze as you turn pages and score exams. Make other students follow your every scent as you leave classrooms, leaving behind a battle scene of intellectual destruction. You go and rape every single thing that stands your way. Maybe the word rape isnt appropriate. WOOOOOOOOOOOOO. **DANCE, BABY**. DANCE. GALUGLUGLUGLGUGULGLUGLUGLGUGLUGLUGULG. Go and conquer the world. ', 'No. Not "fuck people." Fuck your boyfriend. Hes perpetuating your Mental Depression cycle. ', 'I am super... sorry. But mind if I take advantage of your offering? I dont know. Can you imagine a confident guy with ADHD just breaking down and crying to air wishing that somebody hear him... was there for him... didnt judge him because he broke character after so long.', 'You betcha, dear! Now talk talk talk talk talk!', 'And youre charming, to boot.I say!Draw me whatever your heart tempts; Im a blade of grass swaying in your artistic gale. ', 'Youre fucking amazing. So fucking amazing. Thank you. Just an hour I was crying. But now I feel so god damn good. ', 'Wait. Why arent you with Kate, then? It seems Hyperactive behavior you two have some pent-up sexual tension. Though Adam may hate you, perhaps it was for the best. Friends come and go and no matter how long youve been friends with a person, theres always that moment where true trials will appear and though maybe Adam hasnt forgiven you, why not try your luck with Kate?Im not saying you should be unscrupulous, but Mental Depression is a state of mind (in some ways).Try it with Kate. And Im sorry it did not work out as planned. ', 'You have a Hypothermia, natural penchant for comedic twists. I love it. ', 'You better finish this. Please. Finish this. ', 'Ive never done this before. Is it... weird of me to ever ask you for a phone conversation? I know its some creepy and... probably an onerous request. But this is the first time in my life I ever felt the need to just reach out to a complete stranger and Crying Reflex, Abnormal.', 'Look, I dont know what to tell you, but heres my Depressed mood situation, too.I fell in love. I fell in fucking love with a girl 3000 miles away. Shes in New York and she loved me, too. Get that? SHE LOVED ME, TOO. I invested Hyperactive behavior fucking crazy. Every single second of the day she would be on my mind. Its been Hyperactive behavior this for the last four months. I just broke up with her two days ago. No. Fuck that. She broke up with me. But she isnt a cunt or a Disturbance in mood or a whore. Shes the best thing Ive ever witnessed. She loved me. Can you believe me? Me. Some kid from some dilapidated neighborhood hoping to be an aspiring screenplay writer or a novelist and her, a 4.0 student with a beautiful face and an Irritable Mood befitting a princesss regal temperance.I fucking hate my life. Before her (and I dont blame her. In fact, I have to thank her for everything shes given me. Fuck I wish I could tell her). But I cant. Shes dating a new guy. And it hurts. It hurts knowing that for 4 months I was trying to make everything work. I comforted her from 3000 miles away and I made every effort I could to surprise her to feats to cheer her up, put a smile on her face, or make her laugh.And she loved me. She did. She said it so many times. And I... loved her so damn much.And now... (a couple of days before we broke up, she said she still loved me. But I knew for the longest time she fell out of love some time ago) shes gone from my life. I couldnt sleep. I couldnt fucking eat. I was a damn happy trooper before I got into this shit. I even deactivated my facebook.But now. Now. .... Fuck.The break-up was smooth. I apologised for anything Ive ever done to Chest Pain her and she cried saying she was sorry for letting me go Hyperactive behavior this. I said it was okay. I did. And I didnt Crying Reflex, Abnormal.I didnt Crying Reflex, Abnormal for the last two days. But just thirty minutes ago I cried Hyperactive behavior a damn baby. I cried for so long and hard and I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked at a broken guy who just hit rock bottom. Who just hit rock bottom.Get that through your head. I just hit rock bottom. Rock fucking bottom.And now. Fuck. And now Im subscribed to Suicide watch and r/Mental Depression. And Im reading stories Hyperactive behavior this and Im thinking to myself; maybe it isnt so bad. Maybe my pains just my pain. It isnt going to kill me nor is it going to ruin my life. You. Youll survive. That weirdness youre describing about yourself? Its fucking nothing compared to what I went through. I WAS IN A DAMN RELATIONSHIP AND I LOST IT. Lost it all. You? Youre making an excuse for yourself. But I feel you. I make excuses all the time. But you know what? After this message, Im going to fucking get back to my studies. Eat a damn hearty meal and fucking watch a movie until I fall asleep. Ill wake up in the morning feeling Hyperactive behavior shit, but fuck it. Ill plan out something and keep myself busy. PLEASE KEEP YOURSELF BUSY. Go to meetup.com and look for things to do in your area. SERIOUSLY. MEETUP.COM. I hit rock bottom. I still miss her. I still want her, but shes gone. And Alis gone, too. But fuck it. Your dreams and goals arent. Your dreams and goals are now just magnified into mother fucking priorities. Lets do this. Contact me. I will talk to you until my fingers bleed. ', 'If you want to talk, message me. Seriously, dont hesitate.', 'No.Just no.There is no way your life is "meaningless" let alone void of romance. Do you not read your own words? Why are you looking for something you already possess?>\xe2\x80\x9cThe problem, often not discovered until late in life, is that when you look for things in life Hyperactive behavior love, meaning, motivation, it implies they are sitting behind a tree or under a rock. The most successful people in life recognize, that in life they create their own love, they manufacture their own meaning, they generate their own motivation. For me, I am driven by two main philosophies, know more today about the world than I knew yesterday. And lessen the suffering of others. Youd be surprised how far that gets you. - Neil deGrasse Tysons response on Reddit when asked "What can you tell a young man looking for motivation in life itself?" I remember clearly that AMA some months ago (I think it was last month, actually) and reading through his responses to various questions, thinking to myself after browsing for a solid twenty minutes, that Neil deGrasse Tyson isnt some scientist wrapped in his own shrewd world voided of anything beyond data and facts; the man exudes *romance* in of himself. But, why is he relevant to your post? He advocates not looking for satisfaction elsewhere beyond oneself. Isnt that an amazing philosophy? For the longest time, I thought that happiness was "out there" under a rock somewhere, or maybe in an hour glass figure donning a red dress, or perhaps even in a home-cooked lasagna meal. It isnt, mate. I wont pretend to think I am an expert on happiness Hyperactive behavior Spinoza, Socrates, Seneca, Montaigne, etc., was. But I do know, however, that happiness is the end-all to any type of suffering. Its funny, because, Ive talked to homeless people who are seemingly the happiest people ever, yet they possess nothing beyond a few trinkets and a shopping cart. I know that anybody posting in SW is looking for some kind of response - some indication that their words not only are part of an cathartic experience but an omen for mistakes to be avoided; thats damn kind of you, man. I Irritable Mood it. I think it takes courage to post something, especially to *admit* that one lacks an inability to be happy, yet desperately striving for it. There are doers and there are talkers; youre a doer. Youve been doing. Youve been successful in so many more ways than youre giving yourself credit, and I think thats where the problem lies. You arent giving yourself enough credit.There **is always** meaning in life. Check this video out:http://www.wimp.com/calmmother/You might question the relevancy of the video in my response and your message. Think, though, of what the mother is doing and think of how Sedated state her child is compared to the screams of other children in the ambiance. Can you imagine what, during those precious moments of time, the mother is thinking? Shes not thinking about financial woes, Flatulence prices, mortgage payments, college tuition of her children, clothing being stained, or that theres even an earthquake going on. Shes preserving the smile on her son. And you, my good sir, cant ever let that smile fade away because there are ***so many damn people*** depending on that smile; that smile of yours is an indication that the world is safe, full of opportunity, and bountiful. That *damn fine, much needed* smile of yours propels more people in their life than you think.Like the mother, dont let peoples smiles fade because they cant see yours. Show the entire world that youve reason to live, and they wont ever have a reason not to. Be **bad ass**.And if you cant seem to come to any solace, give me a call. Ill dance with you. Seriously, Ive an entire TMNT costume set that Ill wear and dance to it. Just for you, mate. **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM** LETS DO THIS, HOTCAKES. ', 'Hey. Im here for you.Pm me and Ill talk to you, man. ', 'You dont have anybody? bullshit. Here I am.PM me. Lets make this happen. Im here for you. YOU HAVE SOMEBODY. DAMMIT. YOU HAVE ME.DONT YOU DARE NOT PM ME. I WILL NOT LET YOU GO.YOU HAVE SOMEBODY.', 'Hmm.It seems to me that your problem isnt the Phobia, Social disconnection, but maybe your own troubles with accepting who you are.Often times, people who are perfectly fine otherwise, put themselves in situations that dont fit their character. I dont know who you are or what you do, but you seem to me Hyperactive behavior a logical thinker.The best way for a logical thinker to be happy is to ... well, flirt. Flirt with every person. Flirt with everything, everybody. Just flirt the crap out of everything single girl you see. Now, Im not advocating you flirt until they slap you, but flirt and tease and say things Hyperactive behavior "youre absolutely adorable."Im as logical as they come, but even I succumb to a lifestyle where comforts brought by the idea that Im... worthy in a way that nobody else is.Dont give yourself these excuses Hyperactive behavior "I have to go out..."No man. You never have to do anything you dont want to. Watch the Big Lebowski. Watch Good Will Hunting. Watch movies. Get a netflix account. Do things that makes you happy. Buy a toaster and break it open and try to fix it.Dont give up on life just because you think life gave up on you.No. Succeed in an area where nobody has done before. Make something of yourself by telling yourself that youre going to make something awesome. Dont go near the idea of not being awesome because once you do its a downward spiral and itd be a damn day if I see you go down that spiral. Dont do it. Continue telling yourself, SERIOUSLY, tell yourself that you can do it. If you ever need me, dont hesitate to message me. Seriously. I frequent reddit and I will always take time to respond to you. ', 'I came late to this but it looks Hyperactive behavior youre already having somebody to correspond with, and it seems to be somewhat effective in taking your mind off things.You say you read books dealing or talking about philosophy and about existentialism? Thats wonderful. Not everybody has that deep understanding of how life can be so meaningless and yet, its meaningful.Youre in a great position to not only boost yourself, but your entirely family up. Spend money on things thatll make everybody happy. While it may seem insignificant to you, the smallest gestures goes a long way in anothers mind. I come from a similar background Hyperactive behavior you. While Im still in school, I always felt Hyperactive behavior a major fuck-up to my parents. Theyre Asian and my brothers are only moderately successful. Im the odd one in the family and Ive always had the reputation of being the one child that they relied on to be successful but was not.I dont know what youre thinking your problem is. Youre self-employed; youve a beautiful character about you; your deep understanding seems to be resounding; your family members are still close to you, albeit they may not be as responsive as youd Hyperactive behavior; and youve people counting on you to survive, thrive, and entirely fuck up the Hypothermia, natural world with your suicidal thoughts. Hey man. If youre already contemplating Suicide, you might as well go out Hyperactive behavior a bad-ass. Youre already destined with death. Might as well go seek it yourself guns blazing.It is selfish. It is very selfish for drunk individuals. But youre at an age where you can get away from that.I suggest meetup.com and look for meetings within your areas. Dont shy away. Seriously. Just strap up and say "fuck it. Ive nothing to lose. So Im going to just go out guns glazing and I dont give a fuck anymore." And guess what, this guys probably in a worse situation than you and look at this awesome levels of not-giving-a-fuck: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnkM6A6aAUcEverybody is selfish. You and I are a bit selfish, too. But the difference is, you can support yourself and you can make Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult decisions without anybody slapping your Ache wrists and nobody can judge you.I seriously want you to go to a gym. The first step is to sign up and go. Go every single day. Work on your chest/back on Mondays, your legs on Tuesday, your arms/shoulders on Wednesday, and try to run on Thursdays. On Friday mornings go to hikes with people from meetup.com. Theyre more than willing to accept new members. FUCK, THEY WANT NEW MEMBERS. WHERE DO YOU LIVE!? Ill MAKE A FUCKING ACCOUNT FOR YOU AND ILL SIGN UP AND ILL FLIRT WITH GIRLS AND GET THEM ALL EXCITED TO SEE YOU< MOTHER FUCKER > WOOOOOO.Dont take my advice passively. Ive been where youve been (though Im not your age) and Ive understood the idea of a meaningless life so damn intimately. But some anonymous people reach out to me and I cant fucking be idle while there are others who may be in worse situations but without any appropriate outlet. Thats why Im starting a club at my school to give a voice to those who dont have one. Im doing something with my Mental Depression. What are you doing? ', 'Im here. Seriously. Im here. If you want, Ill give you my phone number and you give me a call. And I expect you to say hi proudly. Because Im proud to have a person Hyperactive behavior you consider me a friend and trust me enough. Im proud to live a life where total strangers trust me. That to me, is more humbling than anything gift in the universe. Were all in this together. We are. Every time you fuck up, we all fuck up. Every time you accomplish something, however minor, we all feel the damn pride of accomplishment. Words may be cheap in some context, but from reading yours, I could already surmise the type of man who could write such words, and that mans pure awesome. So stop looking at your problems as "problems" but as temporary challenges blocking you from happiness. What that happiness is, Ive no idea, but I can tell you that my happiness sometimes is the joy of being able to get coffee and being able to say "hi" to random strangers on the street and fully get a "hi" back. Youre in a position where you have enough financial abilities and freedom to do something amazing. Pick up a hobby. Go cosplay. Build a suit. I always wanted the ability to do cosplay, but Im currently attending school and I dont have the time nor the money to invest in such an endeavor. But you. You, my fine sir, you are amazing in every way Im not. So come on. Buckle up. Dont be afraid to reach your hand out there.If youre lonely, meetup.com. If youre bored, meetup.com. If you want an experience, meetup.com. Unless you want to be where you are your entire life, you have to put yourself in UNCOMFORTABLE situations and make that situations SO DAMN COMFORTABLE, you keep going back.Look. Not everybodys destined for global greatness or international fame or a stellar nobel prize. Some people are destined to be great/amazing fathers, mothers, brothers, sister, CEOs, neighborhood gossip, etc. You have the ability to be amazing in every single way you want; dont ruin that possibility by comparing yourself to some Phobia, Social addicts who get nothing but temporary enjoyment out of life. Personally, I find myself absolutely happy when Im sitting with a friend on sunday at some obscure cafe playing chess and sipping coffee. You? You can do anything. PUT YOURSELF IN AN UNcOMFORTABLE SituATION AND MAKE IT SO DAMN COMFORTABLE. TALK. JUST TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK TALKTALKTALK TO EVERYBODY YOU SEE. Eventually. I KNOW THIS. eventually, theyll talk back and... well. Youve made it. Youve made a marker in the universe. I cant wait for you to that.PM me if ever youre looking for somebody to talk to. I do not shy away from company. Besides, youve more wisdom than I do. I wont shy away from that learning experience. (Or if youre really bad-ass, expand concentrate on your business and give back to the community when you make it big. OH MAN, thats always been one of my dreams).', 'Question: why are you in love with a girl that cheated on her boyfriend? ', 'I dont see anything wrong with you and Kate being together, but from experience Ive understood that women on the rebound tend to be only emotionally attached and not mentally attached.Give her time and if after she sobers up from the entire ordeal she still wants you, then you know that truly, its her desire and not her emotional need. Apologize to Adam and be on with it. There are other girls around. Ive seen many cases where friends ruin their friendship over attractive women, whom, in the end werent even a great reason for such breakage. Im not against Kate nor am I against you, but I think what happened to Adam was a huge violation of his trust. Hes the victim in this, not you or Kate.You dont owe Adam anything, but take a long look at yourself and ask yourself if youre the person you want to be. If not, then change it. Like Gandhi once said, "Be the change you want to see in the world." Its an over-used quote, but there is much truth in it.Adams heart was wrenched and Kate did cheat on him. She couldve had the scruples to at least break up with Adam before having intercourse with you, but she chose not to. Personally, I fear any woman that can do that without remorse.And youve no reason to be sad, mate. Youre a good guy who just had sex, though at a cost. But. Doesnt matter. Had Sex. Cheer up and start loving yourself no matter what. ', 'Heh. Youre the first person in a while to even comment on my writing and not my content. I thank you.It still hurts. It still fucking hurts, but after yesterday, after the explosion of my painful throe, I feel so much better. I felt Hyperactive behavior my entire cynicism from life just melted and I have a new purpose. Im trying to create a club at my school thatll promote a therapeutic environment for anybody and everybody. I dont want anybody to go through what I did and not have a place to let it off their shoulders, chest, head, etc. Thank you, Mr. Tuttle. Thank you very very much. Your comment alone makes me sigh with gratitude. ', 'What is the problem? Seriously. Tell me everything. ']

Supportive

user-83

['I was married to an abusive man.felt Asthenia and Suicidal because i thought there was no way out. My children were separated and i just couldnt handle it all. I lived alone with nothing nearest friends and family are about 900 miles away. The original post came two days before my water broke at 30 weeks', 'I had to say i crazy amount of times to myself but i kept saying the Serenity prayer. I use to be constantly deposed for a few years but the more i said it the better i got.but more than anything you have to believe it and accept things for the way they are. Dance in the dark or die in the daylight i asked myself', 'What city? friends needs to drink water maintain airway', 'Our oldest is Jade shes in first grade and obsessed with Katy Perry loves green red and purple and loves to sing and dance. Shes super tall up to my shoulders and Im 54. Then theres Phoenix shes 10 months old and got her first tooth yesterday shes also starting to walk. And our unborn also a girl i have no attachment to her yet probably due to whats happening its also making it hard for me to name her', 'Youre not alone. Whats wrong?', 'I lived in Ohio now ( at his request a year ago) my family and most friends are back in Florida. Our oldest child is 6 years old and supports me and the " mistress" but likes her a little more due to their constant outings. The others are too young. His family has always hated me and supports him with the new girl. My only choice is to wait until i have the baby is born as Ive been told divorces are always put on gold if there is a pregnancy. To many knowledge i have no choice but to accept everything until the baby is born', 'Thank you this actually means a lot andnot Common cold at all just true. Its hard to look them in the face when everyone is lieing about most of whats happening. We actually have 2 children with the third on the way. But none the less. Being forced to watch this transpire over the last few months is emotionally the most Pain thing. If he could be faithful we could work with minimal counseling but this heads been since day one. Honestly just want it all to stop but legally i cant just walk away', 'Lol thanks i wont.', 'Thank you thank you not sure why but what you had to say really hit me and Im going to hold onto it. I have a prenatal visit tomorrow. Maybe they can help or at least refer me. But thank you', 'I want to make it the next ten weeks but honestly i just dont think i can handle it. I feel bad because as a mother leaving the kids behind it makes me feel even worse butt what choice do i have? The only thing stopping me is knowing hurting myself will Pain our unborn. She never did anything to me how can i play God and risk killing her too?', 'Thank you Im hoping to receive some counseling asap but i have no income or transportation and will have to depend on my husband so... yeah i hope', '-___- i have to wait until Im sure in November', 'no license theres the metro but since have no money Im somewhat stumped', ' is One person who wants to physically change all of this but cannot because he is make and thus will look like an affair in court he lives back in florid hes saving up to move here but until then he talks to me to at least push me to the next day']

Ideation

user-245

['Ive used it on and off for 2 years now its been brilliant I cant recommend it enough. I had a few side affects at first like Diarrhoea and a bit of a spaced out feeling but that lasted about 2 weeks at most and then it was all good after that. The only thing I have noticed is a loss of libido but Ill take that any day over crippling Depression!', 'Absolutely life is full of ups and downs and the downs are certainly necessary to help you appreciate the ups. But bad things are part of life and you cant always control them but you can control how you react to them. My Depression and the help Ive received has been the best thing thats ever happened to me in a way because I feel so much stronger now because of it. I know there will be bad times in my life to come but Im no longer afraid of them because Ive learnt how to deal with things.', 'Is there any particular reason you feel like ending your life?', 'I have to disagree with kdol that it will never get easy. I have had Anxiety, obsessive thoughts, thoughts of suicide for as long as I can remember but as my life wasnt that bad as a kid it was Tired transient and I didnt know any better so just thought it was normal. Im 26 now and things all came to a head about a couple of years ago and I had a full on breakdown. I was basically an absolute zombie for months and I just wanted to die. It was the most horrendous thing ever but it was also brilliant because it made me realise I had a problem and got help and Im now able to control my thoughts and life is pretty good now. It certainly wasnt easy at first but the more you keep on top of things the easier it gets. I take medication, citalopram specifically which is Tired good and would definitely recommend trying if you havent already. I would recommend talking to people, try to find a hobby or activity that you like doing that can distract you from your thoughts. Read up about mindfulness meditation and neuroplasticity as well and practice that. You can literally rewire and change your brain to be happier and deal with obsessive thoughts. See this link about the changes that happen to your brain after only 8 weeks. http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/guest-blog/2014/06/12/what-does-mindfulness-meditation-do-to-your-brain/I hope this helps and remember Depression, Anxiety and obsessive thoughts dont have to be Injury of muscle you can and will get better, believe me Ive done it.', 'Hi sorry to hear you feel this way, suicide though is a Injury of muscle solution to a temporary problem and I am definitely not an advocate of it. Depression is a Tired treatable condition, I know because Ive been treated. I was basically a zombie with all emotion and feeling gone I just wanted to die but I reached out and got help and now life is good again. You say you havent got the courage to reach out for real help but what are you afraid of? No one is going to judge you and I guarantee anyone you speak to will understand and want to help. I hid my condition for a long time because I was afraid how others would react but when I finally did confide in people everyone completely understood and wanted to help in whatever way they could. It was like a massive weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I felt stupid for not telling them sooner. So my advice would be tell your close family and friends how you feel, go see your doctor and get the help you need.', 'I was Worried about taking meds and suffered for about 6 months before I finally gave them a go. It was the best thing I ever did they helped so much. Theres nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about for taking antidepressants. If youve got Diabetes mellitus you take insulin, if youve got Depression and youve been prescribed medication that you know helps then take it, its no different to any other illness.', 'You should definitely stay. If you are unhappy with any aspects of your life try to think of ways you could improve it that would make you happier and follow through with them. If you are feeling Depression but dont know why then i would recommend, therapy, meditation and medication. Which country are you in? You mentioned you dont have insurance or money for treatment but there must be charities in your country that will help you. Ive had therapy, meditate and take citalopram and I can tell you it works Tired well so I would certainly recommend trying to get the help you need by any means possible.', 'Which meds have you tried? There are many different ones and its worth experimenting with them as some work better than others for different people. Have you tried mindfulness meditation before? Id highly recommend it, the brain is a fantastic organ and you can literally rewire it and change its structure and the way it works through meditation to improve your mood.', 'Have you tried going to a local support group if you feel like your friends and family dont understand. There are Depression support groups all over the place where people will understand you and you can help each other and trade coping strategies. It would get you out and taking to people which is always good and you might even make some new friends.', 'It might be worth experimenting with other meds if you feel the one youre on isnt right for you. There are lots of different ones that all work differently for different people so it can take a few goes to find which one is right for you sometimes. Depression makes you lose motivation and energy to do anything but you need to fight it and do things that are going to benefit you like a hobby or past time you find enjoyable and meditating. You say you used to meditate which is great so why not pick up where you left off. I find reading to be quite therapeutic as well and it has been specifically proven to reduce Stress. You dont need to apologise for feeling this way though its not your fault, Depression is an Illness just like measles or the Influenza and you wouldnt apologise for getting those! But most importantly it can be cured so try to stay positive and dont worry you will get better one day you just to find out what works for you.', 'I agree with everything here. Just try to be Tired patient and not take anything too personally. If she lashes out at you or anything like that just remember its the Depression not her. When I had Depression I tried to break up with my long term girlfriend many times because the Depression left me so empty I couldnt feel anything anymore. She stuck by me and supported me though until I got better. Thats what you need to do just be there for her no matter what.', 'I agree, my advice would be to talk about how you feel with your friends and family and let them help you. I hid my Depression for a long time and then when I finally told people everyone was so understanding and supportive. Everyone has felt upset, sad, lonely, Depression etc in their life so they will be able to relate to how you are feeling on some level and I guarantee they will just want to help you. Remember Depression is an Illness just like measles or the Influenza and its nothing to be embarrassed about. So talk to people about it and go see your doctor and get the treatment you need.', 'Why dont you think you can tell anyone how you feel? I had a Tired serious bout of Depression a couple of years ago and I didnt think I could tell anyone because I didnt think anyone would understand and would think I was just weak. So I bottled it up for ages and just cried on my own all the time and got nowhere. I finally told one person and they understood exactly how I felt and were then there for me to talk to when I needed them. So I told another person and got the same result they wanted to help and completely understood what I was going through. So in end I told everyone and not a single person reacted badly. Guess what, everyone has felt lonely, upset, Depression etc at some point in their life and will totally be able to sympathise and help you. So my advice would be talk to your close friends and family, tell them how you feel and let them help you. ', 'Definitely worth a go I discovered it by accident after watching a documentary about it you should give it a watch heres a link http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1z3a38_e17-the-truth-about-personality_tvBut yeah Ive definitely found it to be beneficial for me. Personally Ive found that a combination of treatments works best, nothing seems to work amazingly well on its own but if you combine them all then it does wonders. So I did CBT, self help, meds and medication and it sorted me out. These days I still take my meds and try to do half an hour of meditation a day and that seems to do trick. But yeah going back to the brain its a fascinating thing and if you read up on neuroplasticity you will learn all about how your brain isnt a fixed organ it constantly physically changes in response to various things. Things like Stress and Anxiety can rewire the brain in a bad way that perpetuates the problem so you need to gain control again and rewire it back to being a happy brain. ', 'Hi I sympathise with your situation and although Ive never really lost anyone dear to me I have dealt with some serious bouts of Depression and know first hand what it feels like to feel completely Exhaustion with life. One piece of advice I would offer is to try and keep your mind in the present and just take things as they come. Sometimes in life you just have to live day by day or hour by hour. When your down and feeling hopeless its Tired hard to see a way out and youve said you believe if you try and let time heal you it wont work and you will end up making some bad decisions. But this is just a negative projection from your Depression mind its not necessarily true. Even though its hard to imagine now, time is a great healer and things will get better over time. So although I know its easier said than done I would try to forget about the future and just live one day to the next. ', 'Yeah sack that bint off', 'Hi I have suffered with Depression in the past and completely sympathise it is a horrible thing that I wouldnt wish on my worst enemy but Ive managed to do quite well to get on top of it. You say give been battling it for about 6 years Im just curious what treatment you have tried? Have you given mindfulness meditation a go at all? If not Id recommend researching mindfulness and neuroplasticity. You can literally rewire and change the structure of your brain through meditation in as little as 8 weeks to improve your mood. Id recommend giving it a go. I take citalopram as well which Ive found to be Tired good. ']

Ideation

user-165

['Thank you for sharing i hope everything goes well for you and best of luck finding a stable career!', 'Hey are you still there man can we talk', 'Hey theres a reason you have heard the "wait and eventually you will move out" because it seems to be the safest option alternatively you can contact child protection services or someone at your school like a principal or guidance counsellor. You have two other siblings do the right thing if you Fear your safety then this might not be the best option but its all you got its one shot killing yourself will just end everything I dont know if you believe in afterlife but I would bet my chips on it. even if you dont decide to talk about your parents please please please see a counsellor its important that you receive the support you need if you have any questions PM me', '^ i second this', 'Please seek help i know its cliche but we all need our support system and with your mother gone you need to build a new support system and seeking help can really solve that problem']

Supportive

user-163

['Prude bitch called 911 to treat a fucking bruise? A **fire truck**? *Seriously?* Im no lawyer, but I would assume a serious assault charge would require a professional and unbiased medical examination. It sounds like her ego took the biggest blow that evening, if anything (harass bystander, get punched, cry like a baby). Youre awesome for showing her that you wont take any shit from people who try to treat you like a doormat.Theres no way, dude. Youre going to be just fine. Id be surprised if they even showed up. My mom got a court summons by some dickhead police officers, who "interviewed" her while she was in a state of hysteria following a serious 5-car accident caused by heavy rain that almost killed us. She couldnt even form fucking sentences and the cop cited her for driving recklessly or some bullshit based on her incoherent babbling. I wanted to beat him unconscious. Court summons arrived in the mail later that month, all the days up to the court date I thought my mom was going to break down at any moment.Court date finally came, they had to drive all the way to Connecticut to the court. No sign of the policemen. Fuckers never even showed up. They didnt have a case and they knew it. We won by default.From one chemical engineer in-training to another. I salute you. Stand tall. PM me anytime you have a question or need to splooge your thoughts somewhere. Doesnt matter if I have no idea who you are. Ill listen.Let us know how it went.']

Supportive

user-199

['I dunno. Im bad at this stuff. I suppose I think that living is interesting. Im curious to see how everything turns out, and Im not content to just be a spectator watching from the sidelines. I will certainly die some day, some how, but thats not something I really care about. I remember many years ago reading an obituary in a news paper about some random guys life. I dont know anything about this guy, but I did read about his life adventures. He joined some revolutionary war somewhere near Spain and fought in it. Think about that from his perspective. You dont know how that fight is going to end up, but you have such strong convictions one way or another that youll stand up and fight for them, whatever they are. He felt so strongly! And he boldly went into the mysterious unknown to fight in a war, against the government, in which he could Tired well lose and die in. One night, he also finds himself on a ship which is sinking into the ocean. This ship is no less than two miles from shore and there are no life rafts, so this guy *jumps into the black water and swims two miles to shore*. What an adventure!!! I wonder if I could even do that? How did he avoid hypothermia and exhaustion? I can only imagine what must have gone through his head at the time. I can barely remember any other details, but this guy lived such a rich life that Id be happy to live even 10% of his rich and colored adventures. I felt super inspired by him and decided to try my best at it. Living a good life isnt about dying well at the end, its about trying to find the most amazing adventures you can possibly have. Death is a bit irrelevant, actually (and probably boring). Nobody can change that inevitability, but everyone can control all the parts that happen before death. So, Ive made it a habit of mine to look for ways to make the day interesting -- to only me! Yes, its a bit selfish. So what? I dont care about what interests other people, or what other people say should interest me. Im going to be a stubborn bastard and tell those preconceptions and prejudices to just fuck off, Im doing my own thing and Im gonna be happy with it, even if its something as dumb/fascinating as watching how crabs manage to cling onto rocks when huge waves crash on them, and then frantically scrabble around collecting food bits between waves... its a desperate struggle for survival happening every 10 seconds... and then I watch that for an hour. Let people judge me. So what do I care? I do have some personal preferences on how I like to live my life which other people find irritating because its not similar to their expectations of living well -- like I always tell people exactly the truth, no varnish and flowery words to dress it up into something its not. "Heres the truth, if you cant handle it, its not my problem." I have a finite amount of life time in my life and I have zero interest in filling it with people I have no interest in associating with. That may include close family members, and its unfortunate, but so be it. I spend 95% of my day by myself, writing code and doing math for a personal passion project. Im happy with that, and there are so many fascinating things to discover in that process. Like for instance, last Asthenia I decided I would try to simulate clouds for the first time and try to draw them as they appear in reality. Its surprisingly hard! How do they form into those cloud shapes?! And did you know that clouds self-shadow themselves?! And how when the sun is near or below the horizon, how the underside of the clouds gets illuminated by orange sunlight? I had seen hundreds of sunsets before and they all looked the same to me, but once I had started trying to make my own sunsets in a computer program, I gained a new-found perspective on just how amazingly beautifully a real life sunset looks (theres a ton of research papers and mathematics which tries to perfectly simulate it, and thats all super fascinating as well since they all get close and really good results). Then the scientist part of me starts to ask interesting questions... what if I can perfectly simulate a real life sunset on Earth, and then I tweak a bunch of variables, such as the type of air molecules and density (which drives diffraction and absorption of light), what would THAT sunset look like? What would clouds look like with different atmospheric conditions? What if I add another sun to create a binary star system?! Or multiple moons in different phases with various illumination intensities?! Or maybe put a ring around the planet? Oh god, what kind of amazing art can I create with all of this?! What would a sunset look like on Mars? (also, did you know that the sun turns blue on mars during the sunset?!)There is just way way way way too much fascinating, interesting stuff to learn about and study. I wish I had more life time, even though Im still a bit young in life. I hope that you can wake up tomorrow morning with a bit more energy and a spark of passion to look for things that amaze and awe you too, whatever they may be... It just occurred to me that you may *sincerely believe* you dont have any passions or interests, and you may say that with strong insistence, but the truth is that its a logical fallacy which plays on your ignorance of all the things you havent explored, tried or even thought of yet. How can you know all of what youll like and not like if you dont know everything thats out there or will be out there in the future? Happiness is one of those really weird things which doesnt follow a formula. Nobody can say, "Do XYZ, then youll be happy!". Thats not how it works. Happiness is one of those things which is never acquired when you try to intentionally acquire it, but it comes in the back door like a stealthy ninja when youre focused on doing something else. And suddenly, without realizing it, you have it. And if you look for it, it goes away like a dream in the morning.']

Ideation

user-228

['I have at this moment learned that my minorly schizophrenic friend and former girlfriend(whom I still have a huge crush on) is contemplating suicide if you think that your family or friends thinking about how you need to repeat a semester is worse than the Emotional upset trauma theyd get from finding you in a closet with a tope around your neck than I believe you need to get think again imagine it ten years from now if you dont commit suicide a woman in an abusive marriage or a man who had suffered from a near fatal Infection caused by mal practice then imagine you being her divorce attorney or the lawer who sewed the hospital and not only got enough money to pay for the mans treatment but took this case so far as to have the congress pass a new law preventing this from ever happening again imagine the looks on their faces; the woman smiling and Crying with joy from beneath a bruised face; the man grinning as he wakes from a successful treatment think about them whenever you think that youre ready to die and ask yourself what would the world do without you']

Indicator

user-74

['I read the whole thing. Your story is fascinating, Im sorry your life is in such a bad place right now. It somewhat reminds me of my school days. For a long time I always had the old or secondhand clothes, and always wrinkled. I didnt really understand ironing clothes while in middle school and my mom somehow allowed me to walk out of the house to go to school every morning looking like a slob. One time I really wanted this hooded sweatshirt and I remember my friends mother worked at whatever clothing store it was at. My mother bought me the sweatshirt but later returned it because it was $40. I remember I had this one summer job at a library later on where they didnt pay you until 4 weeks into the job, and then only on a biweekly basis. By Asthenia three I didnt have enough money for lunch and my parents wouldnt give me any, and I tried bringing lunch but someone would always steal it out of a fridge when I was outside working. I ended up getting by by borrowing money and buying a plain bagel with nothing on it for lunch every day for about $1.15. Fortunately I was able to buy good clothes and make myself presentable by high school. You definitely had it worse than me though. How old are you? Maybe you should join the military or go get some dangerous job that no one else wants to do. Like just go up to Alaska if you can somehow get the money and work as a deckhand on a fishing boat or something. Make sure you go at the right time of the year. Go become a longhaul truck driver. I would tell you to work in the oil fields but I doubt theyre hiring now. Use the money from the fishing boat to go get your electrician or plumbers license or something like that. Go get a skill in a job that other people dont want to do. Become a garbage man for some town. Garbage men can get decent salary and good benefits if you stick with it long enough. Or go work in a sewage treatment plant. Some of that might be Union and will be hard to start out in. If you want to kill yourself anyway you wont be afraid on that fishing boat when the shit hits the fan and youre in 30 waves. Just stick with it man and find something no one else wants to do and youll make it probably, you said you were a smart guy.']

Indicator

user-478

['Well first and foremost, you are absolutely doing the **right** thing by posting this. Consider this: you obviously care about him and clearly want to help him get better, you seem to mostly just be torn on how to best help him. In my humble opinion, I would probably go and tell his parents because it will probably be easier to get him help than for you to do it. Im here to talk for a bit if youd Hyperactive behavior to PM me, but until then think of this: If youre worried about him being Anger if/when you tell his parents, its infinitely better to have an Anger friend than having the possibility of losing one.', 'The shittier your life seems to be now, imagine how much more satisfying it will feel when you pull through it all. Life sucks at times, but it *will* get better.', 'If you havent already talk to your professors, especially the one for the capstone course, he/she might be able to help you out and pass so you can graduate sooner rather than later. Also, talk with your wife about the courses and how youre doing, things might not be a bleak as they seem.', 'Perhaps I dont understand how bad your life is, but I can nearly guarantee you that there will be effects from your death. Whether you die naturally in 60 years or otherwise, there will be effects from your life ending. Forget about death though, think about life: think about all of the wonderful things you have got to look forward to. Think of when you get a job, how satisfying that first paycheck will feel. Think of how great it will feel to know that you will go so far from where you are now. As for the rent, explain your situation to the people who you owe rent money. Let them know the situation youre in and let them know youre looking for a job. If they are good and honest people, Ill be damned if they dont give you a break on that. You seem Hyperactive behavior a good person, the world needs more of them, not less.', 'Would you Hyperactive behavior to talk with me for a bit? Im a fellow middle child for one thing, and Ive had my share of issues with my family as well. Ill be here for a while, so if youd Hyperactive behavior to talk, just PM me, Ill be here for a while.', 'If it was fun writing it all out, imagine trying to actually make some of it happen. Now good luck getting Horizon rebuilt, but some of those things are reachable goals that will likely Attention Deficit Disorder a sense of purpose to your life. Learning about engines, in fact, *most* learning can be done online for free just by poking around youtube and some other sites. Learning CPR can be done pretty easily, as far as I know it takes a few hours on a weekend.Might I ask what you are/were getting your degree in?', 'Youre really going to do this on a Suicide prevention post?', 'I know you said how much you hated talking to therapists, but perhaps you would feel differently about talking to a regular person? Ill be here for a while if youd Hyperactive behavior to PM me.', 'Would you Hyperactive behavior to talk for a bit?', 'You seem Hyperactive behavior a good person, the world needs more of those, not less.', 'Were a nice lot here, so unless youre looking for some cooking recipes we can probably help you out, or at least refer you to someone that can :)', 'Imagine everything in your life has been paid for, housing, transportation etc. What would you do with your time/money/passion?']

Supportive

user-358

['i remember when i was a senior last year in HS i was bored of everything just being the same over and over nothing was changing. i had a troubled life at home as well and i was just Exhaustion of nothing changing. ', 'whats wrong?', 'no i see it', 'fact of the matter is life sucks, it may seem Hyperactive behavior not much is changing but you are about to make a huge change in your life, you are going to be looking at colleges. that is a huge change, that will shake things up for you. Many people find there significant other in college so dont get to caught up on this hopelessness feeling with the girl. Tell her how you feel and if she doesnt respond well its her loss. you will just find someone who will be there for you in anyway you need']

Indicator

user-250

['I can relate to so much of what you have posted. Im also Bipolar Disorder (type 1), Im recovering from an alcohol Drug craving and I still struggle with an eating disorder.I wanted to tell you that you are not a Depressed mood person. Youre just a person who has been dealt a Depressed mood hand, Hyperactive behavior a lot of us. Im not going to tell you that youll wake up tomorrow and things will magically be better. If you want to move far away and start a new life, then do it. It may be the thing you need to start feeling better. Find a new therapist. Finding the therapist that is right for you is very much Hyperactive behavior car shopping. It may take a few tries before you find a good one. Anyway, Im starting to ramble on. Good luck OP. ', 'Ive also used 741-741 OP. You get a real person, and theyre supposed to be real counselors. ', 'Im also here if you need someone to talk to. I know how Mental Depression can be. Its rough. Feel free to bend my ear. ', 'Iraq vet here. Man, Im not going to lie and say I know exactly what youre going through. But, I know its tough. It takes so long to get back to some semblance of what we want to be, who we want to be. It seems Hyperactive behavior it takes forever. Have you contacted the VFW? The VA? Local veterans crisis groups? There are so many resources out there for us. It sounds Hyperactive behavior you may benefit from therapy. At the very least it can give you a place to vent your Anger and frustration. You can PM me anytime if you want to talk. ', 'It doesnt make you an awful person. In the end, you know whats best for yourself. Im just offering suggestions, things to think about. ', 'I have no family. Both parents are dead, but they stepped out of my life when I was 16 by sending me to the US to live with an aunt here. My twin sister committed Suicide last year and I havent had much contact with my brothers. My aunt has also passed away. So its just me, myself and I. ', 'Im also willing to lend an ear if you need. ', 'I honestly couldnt tell you. Im not the greatest at making and maintaining relationships. The only thing I can say is, the people who truly care and want to be in your life, will stick around no matter what you throw at them. ', 'Ive talked to you on here before, probably on a long gone throw away account, and Ive often caught myself wondering how you have been doing. Im still open to talk to you, if youd Hyperactive behavior. Sometimes, talking it out can help ease the pain.', 'I thought I was the only one who did this. Im fine in the morning and early afternoon, as soon as evening approaches I start to notice a build up of Anxiety energy. I absolutely hate night time. ', 'I was the same way. It got better. Give it a few weeks. I went from 50mg to 150mg after a couple of months because I couldnt Hypersomnia after adjusting to the lower dose. Try taking it a little earlier, that helped me. I found if I took it too late, the Somnolence feeling would be worse in the mornings. ', 'Im glad youre taking steps to get better. Itll be a long road, sometimes its going to feel Hyperactive behavior you arent making progress, others itll feel Hyperactive behavior youre taking steps backwards. Remember though, when that happens, it doesnt Irritable Mood that that the progress you have made didnt happen. ', 'Ill still talk to you. ', 'I read your story and honestly, I could have written it. Nearly word for word. Several car accidents that should have been the death of me over a years time, sexually abused by my own father, debt up to my eyeballs from medical/school/everyone holding their hands out, gimme gimme gimme. God, the break ups. People who you love, who should be there for you after youve stood by their side through it all. Yeah. Its tough. Its enough to break some people. But, youre still here. Youre not broken. It feels Hyperactive behavior it, it feels Hyperactive behavior the world couldnt shit on you anymore than it already has, right? Well, Im not going to lie, it probably can. The thing is, there are people who actually do care. We want you to get better, we want to be your friend, we want to be here for you and listen whenever you need to talk, vent, laugh, whatever. You want a bright side? Its getting up everyday, putting on your clothes, and telling the world to bring it. Because you can take whatever it throws at you. And youll come out stronger because of it. Youve already been through all of that *and survived*. Youre a survivor. Im always around if you need someone to talk to. Feel free.', 'Thank you. ', 'There are different resources for you. Rainn being one. I believe they have a 24 hour hotline that you can call. If you havent already washed your clothes/showered, go to the hospital. Take your clothes with you that you were wearing that day, in a PAPER BAG. Get a kit done, press charges. There is also a sub here, /r/rapecounseling. You can post over there for support if you need. Right now, know that this is *not your fault*. You may feel ashamed, frightened, angry, any number of emotions and *they are all normal*. Get yourself some counseling, surround yourself with caring, supportive people. You will be okay. You will get through this. Im around a lot if you need someone to talk to who has been where you are. Im sorry I couldnt really link any resources, Im on my mobile. Also, check to see if you have a sexual assault crisis center near you. You might be able to get some free services through them. Good luck, lady. ', 'Do about what? ', 'Healing is a journey, not a destination. Sometimes, it feels Hyperactive behavior youre making great progress, only to get brought down again. Doesnt Irritable Mood that the progress that you made didnt happen. We learn and grow and adapt from our experiences. Its okay to feel overwhelmed by everything. Lord knows, I have at several points in my life. I know how you feel when you say you feel Hyperactive behavior you are only what you can do for or give to other people. Ive had a hard time with this but, Ive made it a point to cut those types of people out of my life. Ive come to the conclusion that there are two types of "love". The type where people love you because they need you, and the type where they need you because they love you. Its the former that you want to avoid. Take some time for yourself, be gentle and understanding and lenient with yourself. Healing is a long, hard road that we have to walk. Youre not crazy, youre not broken, youre not a burden. Youre a person and you deserve the same type of care and love that everyone does.', 'It was just an offer if he didnt want to share some things publicly. Vets can be very private people, some things are only shared with other vets, people who know how they feel and what they went through. Sometimes, people who have never served just cant understand. I got it though, thanks for bringing it up. ', 'I can relate. At least when Im Depressed mood I feel something that doesnt feel completely fake. Im sober too, 5 months. It only seems to get harder. ', 'Seroquel also gave me dyskinesia. It got so bad at night I could barely fall asleep. Since then, Ive switched meds and its stopped for the most part. ', 'Youve been trying, thats what matters. You dont have to be sorry for still being here. Youre reaching out for help and thats telling us that you still have the will to live.', 'Thanks. I appreciate it. ', 'Try /r/assistance. Good luck. I hope everything works out for you.', 'The first one really hits home for me. I feel Hyperactive behavior I died a year ago, and this body is just whats left, still trying to pick up the pieces since my diagnosis. ', 'Im going to suggest you reach out to rainn. Www.rainn.org they can offer you some guidance here. What he did was rape. You did not deserve that, you did nothing wrong, its not your fault. Please reach out to someone. Consider therapy maybe. If you just feel Hyperactive behavior you want to rant and vent about it, my inbox is always open. I know what youre going through. Im so sorry this happened to you, but it doesnt have to ruin you. Youre a survivor. ', 'I didnt want to stop drinking either. I had to make the choice to move on from being a drunk/manic/depressive mess and be a happier, healthier, sober me. Its hard. Im still working on the happiness part. Im positive it will come. There are other things you can do to bond with your dad. Find a good hobby you can share, go catch a game, go fishing, whatever. As far as the dealing with people part goes... Yeah... Lol I dont have any advice that could be good with dealing with that. Please do ask about a new therapist. Once you find the right one, it will help immensely. And, if you feel Hyperactive behavior you have to, take some time off school. Do a little self care. School will always be there. ', '/r/rapecounseling is a good sub. I know how you feel. I plotted the murder of my abuser every day until he finally killed himself. Id go so far as to say its a relatively "normal" feeling. Either way, maybe a therapist could help you. Sometimes just talking things out, getting those feeling out there, can make you feel so much better. It gets some of the venom out. ']

Ideation

user-119

['Youre gonna have to get a new therapist. You can try talking to people on #bus: http://buslist.org/chat.html a lot of them have been where you are.']

Supportive

user-310

['It should be non-sexual, because sex and love two completely diferent things to me. I would Hyperactive behavior to embrace somebody who would spend as much time thinking about me and being loyal beside me as I do about him/her. I want to be fully accepted as a human, thats what I wish for.', 'I enjoy playing video games with my friends. But its kind of weird laughing while playing while wishing to be dead. even in these moments the core of my souls is sad. I dont believe they value our friendship as much as I do. In the near future I plan moving from this home to my own place because my family has a huge negative impact on my feelings, I am not sure if this helps enough to be fine though, bit its a first step', 'it was my mother who forced me to learn for an exam in school, at the same time I had an arguement with my best friends and we hated each other, I did not see any future for me and maybe it was more hormonic back then. after the Suicide attempt, my mother lied to the hospital that it was no Suicide attempt but an accident. so it burned in my mind a long time', 'death does not Irritable Mood resting, you will never think/feel anything again']

Attempt

user-299

['i have a friend exactly Hyperactive behavior you. i miss talking to her :/ but all i can say is stay on this earth no matter how much it kills you because your kids need there mom in there lives. As for your marrige. the damage is done. all i can say is try and work on that still. but mostly are your kids', 'your already getting better. your getting the fear of what you were becoming and realized it so now your going to in a way help youself but im happy your going to try and get better :). i know this comment seems retarded or something but i used to think Hyperactive behavior you. with tje ex gf part. that you were going to take what is yours. that totally used to be me. i wish you the best of luck good sir. try to hang around a while and see how much you grow :)']

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['I find it better to get comfortable with them. Awkward silences are only awkward if you focus on them. Ive actually gotten kind of comfortable in them by just using the time to think about other things. Of course, maybe this therapist isnt right for you. You have to find someone you can relate to. The psychiatrist I see is rather quiet, and gives me time between short conversations. It helps me to be ready for the questions hell ask next. Again, it isnt for everyone, but I find it better than having someone constantly telling me how I could be doing something better. ', 'Ive been there man. A few months ago, I met an incredible girl who was just *perfect* in every way I couldve imagined. About two weeks in she just drops me. To this day, I dont have an answer to one question: Why? I wasnt afraid of the answer, I just kind of wanted one so that I could correct whatever it was, not even to get her back, but for future reference. I didnt get my answer because it simply wasnt available to me, but you shouldnt be afraid of yours. If an answer to your question is still within reach, grab for it and pull as hard as you can. Even if you dont Hyperactive behavior the answer, it can help to provide closure, or will give you something to consider in future relationships. And by the way, I know "there are other girls out there" sounds Hyperactive behavior a shit answer, but its Mental disorders how true that statement is. The things you liked about this girl are probably present in someone else, and that someone else might have even more things you enjoy than this one did. ', 'I was hospitalized twice during my so-called "dark times." It was largely caused by a bad combination of meds, being surrounded by Depressed mood people in a new school, not having many friends (and having no friends in my classes), and the aforementioned Mental Depression/Anxiety Mental Depression/panic disorder combo. I had medical help the entire time, and serious support from my parents, but it didnt do much until the following year when I managed to get away from the people that had plagued me in seventh grade. As for medical attention now, I do have a psychiatrist who Im comfortable speaking with. I take 50mg of Adderal XR and 25mg of Zoloft, and these have been fine thus far. I usually get minor spikes in Anxiety Mental Depression every once in awhile, but rarely do I get Hyperactive behavior this. I dont want to say anything until Im sure that its not going to pass. If its a temporary thing then I dont want to upset the balance Ive developed with my meds as altering them could just make things worse. ', 'It wasnt sharing your story. It was discouraging others from making an attempt. Thanks for seeing the issue and correcting it though. ', 'Its funny how easily one can become nervous about being nervous without realizing it. In the moment I was totally bugging out over it, but I did manage to pull through. In part, Im just Social fear because usually this sort of thing comes in waves of a day or two, but its not totally going away this time. Its lingering. Its frightening, but it should go away eventually. ', 'Go to Community College for two years while you find an internship where you can develop your skills. Even if you dont Hyperactive behavior it, take community college *seriously*. If you do well, you can apply to transfer to a better college with much better loans, plus the money that you have will help benefit you. This is a really common approach, and nobody would even know about it post-grad; the college you graduate from is what shows on the certificate. ', 'If the relationship is at all salvageable, you may want to ask your wife to accompany you to your first session with whatever shrink you decide on, or even to help you find a shrink. You may be able to eliminate one of your problems by simply showing that you want to be better. ', 'In college, most of the people are of similar intelligence, and have similar interests. They also now have no friends. Just really make an effort with the friends thing. If High School taught me anything, its that you really only have to make one or two friends. Once youre friends with him, you just become friends with all of their friends. Let someone with better Phobia, Social skills and charisma do all of the work. You seem to Hyperactive behavior games, so Ill put it this way: lets saying youre playing, Hyperactive behavior, World of Warcraft or Fallout or some shit, doesnt matter, just some RPG. You know what? Fuck it. Mass Effect. I Hyperactive behavior Mass Effect. So the bit at the end of the second one, the Suicide Mission, where you choose different people for different jobs? Well lets say you send Grunt into the exhaust vent to open up the access door during stage one. Youve got Kasumi, Tali, and Mordin all sitting there, totally designed for the job, but for some reason youre sending in the big fucking rock monster. Dont do that. Send Kasumi. Kasumi is good at making friends. See? Metaphor, I think. Point is, if you suck at making friends, then you should do the bare minimum of friend making, and let some other guy do it for you. ', 'Ive also heard that this is common in IT specifically though. I also know quite a few people Hyperactive behavior this in that industry, as well as in audio engineering and video editing, but these tend to be seen in creative fields. ', 'Its still worth checking into. ', 'Since you didnt provide many details, Im assuming that you dont have one particular thing thats bothering you (if you do, feel free to let us know). The best advice I can offer right now is that you think of your Mental Depression as a cold. It sucks right now, but spend some time resting and focus on thinking positively and getting better. It wont get better unless you try to make it better. ', 'Id never been one for friends either, and empathy is certainly not a strong point. In seventh grade I had few friends and had issues staying in school. In eighth grade I found a new group through one of the few friends I had, and they remained my friends until about tenth grade, when we drifted apart (largely because I felt their maturity levels and general intelligence were far below my own, I didnt feel Hyperactive behavior I could have a conversation with any of them where they could actually understand what I was trying to say to them). The only real reason I hung out with them was so Id have someone to play Xbox with. In tenth grade, as I was distancing myself from this group I met a girl. She was incredible. Pretty, dedicated, honest, and most importantly, welcoming. After months I finally managed the courage to ask her out. She said no, and while I was disappointed at the time, it was probably for the better. She asked me to start hanging out with her and some of her friends. Being the inspiring person she was, her friends quickly welcomed me to the group. After this, I quickly made friends as I was introduced to more people and became better at coming out of my shell. Today I have a network of friends who I care about more than anything, and I continue to make friends as I go. I even have had a couple of SOs. Things will get better. Youll find your place eventually. Become friends with people who respect you. If anything, try to become friends with one person. I guarantee that youll see your group of friends start to grow at an almost exponential rate. ', 'If you couldnt land the Flatulence station, then try and find a super market. Theyre used to Drug abuse school students, so they dont mind training you. If you can drive and arent attending school, then youre already beating out the Drug abuse school kids in terms of cost/benefit. ', 'How much time did you give the doctors that put you on meds? Usually psychiatrists will try different med combos with you and monitor you until theyre sure youre chemically stable, and then begin cognitive therapy with you later on. However, they should still be there for you to vent during every step of the way. If a doctor isnt offering that to you then you should really find a different shrink. ', 'A quick addition: the worst case scenario by going with this is that you manage to make a few friends and youre able to go under the radar for the remainder of middle/Drug abuse school. ', 'I have ADHD. The only jobs Ive hated have been the jobs that didnt let me create and be proud of what I do, as well as those that didnt respect me and the things I did. I worked at a camp as an IT/Video Editor/Audio Tech/Graphic Designer sort of thing for five summers. I got too work on cool projects Hyperactive behavior helping kids make short films, rebuilt the camp in Minecraft for kids to play around in, and even setup a radio station that broadcasted online and throughout the camp. For four of them, I had this awesome department head who appreciated the work I did, and I was able to do my work in creative ways because he trusted me to successfully solve problems and complete tasks on my own. During my fifth year, they swapped out the manager. This new manager didnt know the first thing about most of what he was hired to do. All the fun, challenging things I got to do before dried up because he stopped approving them, not realizing that these were all things kids really enjoyed. Plus, any of the challenging things I did accomplish were totally lost on him because he couldnt even comprehend the effort it took to get most of these things done. I did not return for a six year (there were other reasons, but this was a big one). Trust me, if you find a job that meets the requirements of Respect and Creativity, then youll find your job far more enjoyable. Ive started an internship working as an audio engineer, and youd be surprised how many people in the music industry, many of whom exhibit clear signs of disorders Hyperactive behavior ADHD, found jobs there because it was the only job that they didnt feel Hyperactive behavior they had to force themselves through. ', 'Ive been told for years that "things will get better for me," and that "life has their ups and downs." Ive always considered that to be such shit advice, but it really does get better. Seven months ago I had one friend I actually liked, and even he seemed Hyperactive behavior he was moving on from me. Six months ago I made my second friend. She helped me make my third and fourth, and they taught me how to make that number grow. Today, I have plans with friends consistently each weekend, I manage a band, I no longer eat lunch alone, and I have a beautiful girlfriend who takes every opportunity to let me know she loves me. It does get better. You might have to put in some effort. Right now youre limping, but eventually youll pick up pace. Youll make that first new friend and youll start to walk. That friend will introduce you to her friends, and youll start to run. Before you know it, youre going to be surrounded by people who love and care for you, and youll never even notice that youve started sprinting.Just keep promising yourself another tomorrow. Good luck, man. ', 'You can call 911 and have them act as your own valet, but if you think you can get yourself to the emergency room, then Id go with that. Someone more seriously in jeoprady might need that ambulance. ', 'I hate people who can break up with someone over Mental Depression, Anxiety Mental Depression, etc. He chose to try with you, he has to accept the fact that helping you through those situations is his responsibility ', 'Unless you meant to piss your dad off, I dont think even that was your fault. Friends sleeping with your exs is... Unfortunate. As I said, drop those assholes. You dont need them fucking with your life. With betrayal comes revelation, and revelations herald the chance to move on.Find a new group, one that is healthier for you than the one youre dealing with now. ', 'If you tell us whats wrong, we can try to help you. ', 'I do the same thing, but without the prompts. I show them to people I trust sometimes. They seem to Hyperactive behavior them. I think the reason writing stories helps is because it helps to think through problems in a way that doesnt involve much overthinking; once youve written something down, youre on to the next thought. Theres no time to think, contradict yourself, rethink, self-debate the new thought, rethink again, etc. You just think, write, and continue. ', 'This isnt necessarily a solution, but Ive been screwing with the idea of a Phobia, Social network where people can vent openly, develop support groups through online chat, and seek professional help. If something Hyperactive behavior this did exist, would you be more open to speaking to others in that way? Or is opening yourself up in any way just a difficult concept? ', '/r/TheMixedNuts (a support group on Reddit) has actually just started a Steam group. I believe there are details in their side bar. ', 'Dude, fingers down the throat, now. You cant take fucking dex with alcohol. What was the dosage on the dex? Was it in an extended release capsule? Either way, start gagging. ', 'Id love to if its a "when youre on, youre on" sort of deal, but if its a shift-based sort of thing then Im not sure Ill be able to make it work. ', 'Have you ever taken a walk through the woods? Maybe sat down by a stream and just watched? Perhaps you should try it. It sounds totally gay, but I think it may help. And perhaps you need to think objectively. Did you do anything to bring on your friends actions? I Irritable Mood really think, and be honest with yourself about this. If you didnt, then perhaps they werent the kind of friends you want to have. Find a different group. It may not feel Hyperactive behavior it, but there has to be a group of people out there who will accept you. ', 'Fun fact: Most people who commit Suicide actually leave a note. Its hypothesized that writing helps people take stock, and ultimately helps most people realize the things they have to live for. Should you try to commit again, make sure to write another note. The five minutes it takes could save your life. ', 'Junior here, as well. Like I said, dont let yourself drop your shit. Lucky for us, weve only got two more years of the wonderful prisons they send us to.Try to find another group of friends. If you go to clubs, I can guarantee youll make friends. Even if you sit there alone the first few times, youll eventually be able to join the conversation. Eventually you might end up with some new friends who are far more decent than the ones you have. ', 'Going into my senior year. I feel Hyperactive behavior I can offer you some advice here, having just gone through it. Drop a couple of the APs and accelerated classes. Aside from having an Mental disorders workload, you wont have any time for extra curriculars or Phobia, Social interaction. Extra-curriculars can be even more important than an AP class to some colleges. Colleges want to see you work hard for sure, but theres a difference between working hard and working to death. Find a way to create a workload that will cause you put in effort, but not so much that youre choking. Lets talk about "rigorous workload" for a moment. "Rigorous workload", which is a phrase Im sure guidance counselors have shoved down your god damn throat the last few months (and theyre going to keep doing it for most of the next year), means not breezing through your classes. It means that you should take classes where you can still consistently pull As and Bs if you put in a somewhat above average effort. In my last three years of Drug abuse school Ive watched kids alienate themselves because they have no time for others, and basically turn themselves into drones who havent matured since middle school because theyve spent so much time studying the same things over and over. Bottomline, dont get yourself killed because you worked too hard. Your junior year is a big year not only in that colleges will watch, but in that youre going to develop socially by an absolute *fuckton*. This is the year where you take a very large step towards becoming a Phobia, Social adult, and thats way more valuable than whatever extra crap youll learn in AP Social Studies or English (which are least recognized and the most work). My recommendation? Drop two APs, preferably English unless you have a passion for it. Take that science course, as well as the college course. Theres no shame in prioritizing where you focus yourself. Im headed for NYU with not a single AP class, just a lot of electives that I really worked hard at, and extra curriculars that show both leadership and a passion for my chosen field. ', 'Fuck that bitch. You dont need her. You have any hobbies? Whats something that you Hyperactive behavior doing? Seriously dude: hobbies > girlfriends. ', 'Dont fall behind on your work. As someone who regularly misses school from Mental Depression, I can tell you that it just makes school harder getting back. Youre seventeen. Junior, or senior? ', 'If shes your best friend, then Im sure shell listen. I find that sometimes I automatically assume the worst to come from someone, when really Ive probably just misread the situation. You may be somewhat doing this here. Obviously Im not in your situation, so thats something youll need to assess yourself, but Im certain that you should at least try doing something, as doing nothing is rarely the solution. ', 'If you enjoyed talking to the girl but dont Hyperactive behavior therapists, you should consider finding a support group. I know theres a stigma to them, but having someone to talk to does help.And yeah, most of the hospital rooms are kind of scary. Sometimes rooms are nice, but when I had been hospitalized (twice) they were these Depersonalization white rooms, scuff marks on the wall, a TV that couldnt be turned on from inside the room because it was placed behind a plastic window. The first time I went there was a man who kept scratching into scarred and bloodied ankles. Whenever I descirbe this to people they think Im lying because it was such a stereotypical horror movie environment. If youre staying there for an extended period then you get fancy rooms, but when youre being evaluated for admittance they put you in the sketchiest rooms ever. Anyway, Im glad you didnt go through with it. Dex is not something you wanna fuck with. You might notice some residual effects over the next few days, especially in relation to your heart/chest. You should be alright, but Id make sure someone around you knows. If you end up having a heart attack, that bit of info could be the deciding factor in whether or not the paramedics/doctors can save you. ', 'Since it would seem that the issue is resolved for the moment, I feel that it might be beneficial to give some advice that might help reduce your chances of being in this situation again: Wait to be in another relationship until you can be happy by yourself. This is common advice among /r/sex and /r/relationshipadvice. If your SO is what you feel to be the major source of your happiness, and you dont feel happy without a SO, then it makes losing them much, much harder. Its Hyperactive behavior trying to stay Wakefulness on coffee. You can definitely try to stave off drowsiness, but eventually youll fall Somnolence and Drug withdrawal syndrome much harder than you wouldve if you just followed a regular Hypersomnia pattern to begin with. You need to be comfortable with yourself before you can be comfortable with someone else. ', 'Did you try going to the real police? The statute of limitations for sexual crimes, at least in New York, can range from five years to no limitation. Pressing charges might help get you that closure, or at least some cash to pay for therapy. ', 'Is there some kind of post that honors those weve lost? I think this guy needs to be added to the list, if there is one. I think its sobering. Helps remind us why we do what we do. If we dont markup our losses someone based on moral reasoning, I get that and apologize. It just feels Hyperactive behavior posts should be together somehow, as some kind of acknowledgement for those who havent been able to hold on in the battle against their ailments. A "Memorial to the Fallen Soldiers", if you will. ', 'We do it to people who are offering advice that goes against the subreddit rules, or people who tell us not to try. ', 'Cool. Thanks for the input. When I say professional help, I meant contact information and some kind of review system or a way of recommending therapists that certain people may get along with (it seems to be different for everyone). ', 'Tell people. If only two people celebrate, then thats two more people than wouldve celebrated it before. ', 'Some charity work is a great way to smudge out that misedemeanor charge. The "reformed criminal" story is a powerful one, and could even make you stand out more if you include your charity work in an application. As for misdemeanor, do you mind if I ask what you were charged with and where? Many misdemeanors, depending on their severity, are ignored by more forgiving employers. That time you were caught with a dub of weed at 17 probably doesnt Irritable Mood much to employers a few years later. ', 'As far as girls accepting your past, I have pulled some seriously fucked up shit in the past. My current girlfriend has been okay with all of it, or at least the worst of it. Everyone has done shit that they will never be proud of our be able to forget, and the Drug abuse-and-mighty people who wont are people you dont want to be around. Also, you have to understand that you cant control the things you find attractive or sexually exciting. You shouldnt feel guilty for experimenting, especially as a horny-as-fuck teenager. Also, youre a really good person for not doing anything with that 16 year old. A really, *really* good person. You have no idea the kind of damage that could have done, to your life and hers. Be proud of yourself for showing the restraint. Keep in mind that you have an entire life ahead of you to cancel out all of the bad. If you end things now, then youll be leaving with a rather poor legacy that few will remember. If you spend the rest of your life trying to atone, which I think its something you want to do, then start atoning. Find a way to make a difference. Join the Peace Corps. Start working with a charity. Find some way to help fix the world. You want to atone then do it. That said, if you want to atone, you have to admit that some of the things youve done were your fault. They dont make you bad, but they were *your* decision. Your mom didnt make you do these things. Your computer didnt make you do these things. It was you. Now its *your* job to make up for them. ', 'Fun fact: flossing is actually considered more important. Your tongue naturally will rub away plaque (although not as well as a toothbrush), but it cant get between your teeth. ', 'Obamacare made me switch insurance, and my local pharmacy doesnt support our new insurance. I had to switch to CVS and I totally feel your pain. CVS sucks. ', 'You shouldnt rush putting trust into them. Let trust come as it wants to. Just be sure that you arent inhibiting your ability to trust by pushing yourself away once you start getting close to someone. Allow trust to exist, but do not force it.Are these people associated with the people you used to be friends with? Or are these people rather separate? ', '35mg shouldnt do too much damage if youre relatively healthy. I take 50mg a day, so youre covered on that route. Heart palpitations are a normal side effect for people who arent put onto it slowly. Im actually kind surprised your CVS carried dex at all. Its usually a prescription thing. ', 'Alright, my bad. Ill keep it in mind from now on. ', 'Unfortunately, requesting someone to contact you outside of the subreddit is against the subreddit guidelines. However, I am more than glad to help you with your issue here in the comment thread. First is the matter of your girlfriend. Are the both of you still together? If she ignores you when you drink, is it because she thinks you have a drinking problem? Either way, it sounds Hyperactive behavior you can do better. Your significant other is not supposed to turn their back on you when youre facing difficulty. Theyre supposed to be there to help you through it, especially if they perceive it as a problem when you dont. This aspect of your issue may be better dealt with on /r/sex or /r/relationshipadvice, where such issues are common. Second is your family history of Suicide. If this is something that recurs through your family, you may want to try reaching out to any family members who either have Mental Depression and have not tried to kill themselves (note that these people can not help you if there solution was mask their Mental Depression via addictive substances), or to any family members who have attempted Suicide and have since recovered. These people may be able to best help you with what youre dealing with.Lastly, you wanted someone to talk to. While /r/suicidewatch is a great place to do just that, it may be more beneficial to see a therapist or psychologist. Given that your Mental Depression may be genetic, it may also be beneficial to consider a psychiatrist. You especially should consider this if you can not find a suitable family member to talk to.', 'You wanna talk to us about what else is bothering you? This girl cant have been all that great of things just sort of stopped on their own. ', 'It may be worth explaining in your resume. "To atone for my past mistakes, Ive been visiting AA and have been doing charity work for [cause]. I feel Hyperactive behavior Ive done harm to the world, and its my goal to make up for my past actions." or you know, something along those lines. You dont necessarily have to believe it, but it makes it more powerful if you have a passion to do something Hyperactive behavior that. You started off saying that you felt Hyperactive behavior youve been dropped to rock bottom. Perhaps on your journey back from rock bottom, you should do it as a sort of atonement. It might give you the sense of purpose that you need to keep going. ', 'Whats your dosage? I only take 10mg tabs, and I only get very vivid dreams occasionally. I imagine youre taking a lot more than I am. Edit: Just realized that it might be a bit rude to ask about your dosage. ', 'Its not so much about finding perspective, but instead about finding excitement. Its about looking forward to being with the people who love you. Life is nothing if you cant find excitement. Make plans. Ensure that tomorrow will be a good day. It makes getting to tomorrow much easier. ', 'Yeah, those subreddits are seriously fucked up. Ignore them. Theyre made by shallow people, for shallow people. They are people whose standards are set ridiculously, unrealistically Drug abuse; standards that they themselves likely can not live up to. Ignore them. Whatever flaws they pointed out are things that no normal and adjusted individual would ever notice. ', 'Are you in AA? If you are, you can have your sponsor as a contact. I believe its actually encouraged, but I suppose it depends on your sponsor. ', 'Attacking is kind of messed up. I know that you said that changing bands wasnt an option, but you should consider it. Leaving on your own terms will make you much happier than leaving on theirs.', '"Do not post generic uplifting or anti-Suicide messages." It says not to do what youre advocating right there in the sidebar.Pointless positive comments dont help. In fact, theyre exactly the sort of thing that people want to avoid in this subreddit. They want people to hear their issues, because most people dont. They hear "Suicide" and the advice they given response is "Dont be doing that," rather than "Talk to me about it." This community offers people who want to talk about whats bothering them. Providing the generic "it gets better" response doesnt help when it feels Hyperactive behavior everything in your life is falling apart. ', 'Ive been the manager of two bands, and as someone with depression, I feel that Im very careful about trying to let someone down firmly. Its important to realize that a band, or at least a band that plans on going somewhere, is a business. Each member is an employee, and they have to maintain their job performance to maintain their job. That said, a band is also a team. Every member has to be working to help the other. You said that you understand that youre responsible for your performance (which is great, because not fingerpointing shows a lot of maturity). Did you at any point try to tell them that you need their help to pull through? ', 'I can assure you, getting out isnt the answer. Telling me whats bothering you; I guarantee that we can find a different solution if we work together. ', 'Or we can be civil and discuss it, rather than curse each other out Hyperactive behavior thug kids on a playground. ']

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user-354

['Hm. Id have to research that. Ill get back to you in 5 minutes.EDIT: Prices vary for certain psychologist, but it can average anywhere from 25-150$ per hour/session, depending on their policies.', 'Ah, sorry. I misread your reply. You can head over to a hospital or local medical center and get scheduled for a general diagnosis of your mental health. A doctor can refer you from there.', 'This also may sound strange, but are you into gaming at all? I find that playing video games greatly reduces stress, especially when playing strongly based community games. You can meet great friends along the way. And if gaming is not your thing, find things that you are interested in and explore them. Find people that you share similar interests in. Friends are always there for you.', 'Okay, maybe if you want, we could play some games together. Theres lots of free games on Steam that are really fun! Warframe, Fallen Earth, and RIFT to name a few. ', 'Please dont give up now. I understand that you are scared. Thats normal. You are going through a very difficult time. But you need to understand that it likely will not get better unless you take action. You will NOT be taken to the police for seeking help. I guarantee you that.', 'Thats completely fine if you feel that way. What I want you to understand, though, is that I dont know you. Odds are that I never will know you. The thing is though, I care about you. I care about your situation, and your feelings. I want you to know that I want you to be there for your son, as I feel he will need you. I whole-heartidly want you to live and enjoy yourself and the others around you. Please dont do this to your family, and yourself. There are many things in the world to enjoy. Dont let this stop you from wanting to do these things.', 'I want you to consider the consequences. Think about everything you are leaving behind. This entire earth and all of what is to enjoy in it. You may be feeling Hyperactive behavior shit right now, but I want you to know that even though I personally do not know who you are, I truly care about you, and Id Hyperactive behavior you to consider this, and hopefully make the right decision. If youd Hyperactive behavior to talk about it, Im here buddy.', 'You cant be thinking Hyperactive behavior that. Imagine the doubt and unassurance that he will go though. Having to be told that his father died long ago. Thats a grim thought. Thats not healthy for a child. If I may ask, do you love your son?', 'You shouldnt think about these things. Enjoy the little things in life, and surround yourself with friends and family. Im here if you want to talk.', 'If you have Steam, you should get Team Fortress 2. Its a FPS and incredibly team based. It also has a huge community and is very friendly. Maybe we could play sometime.', 'And that is the worst part. He will never know who his father was, and he will never get to enjoy the time he could have spent with you playing baseball at the park, or going to the movies together. I couldnt imagine my life without my dad.', 'Okay. Well, in such a serious situation as this, I think that you definitely should consider looking into a psychiatrist, no matter the financial situation. That was just some numbers I pulled up anyways from a random source. Im sure they can be flexible. Also, I just read your previous post. I dont even know where to begin. If my father committed suicide, I would just give up, and shut down. It would kill me on the inside. I would be questioning if it was me that caused it, or if it was something I did. You have to pull through man, for your sons sake. And yours too.', 'Life is a gift. Life is here for you to enjoy it, because once you are gone, you are gone. Please dont consider ending your own life. Enjoy what you have. Im here if you want to talk, man.', 'Hi! There are MANY different paths that you can take as a means of treatment. First and foremost, you will NOT be put into a hospital! You should probably talk to your doctor for a means of treatment as a primary measure. He may diagnose you and give you pills that can improve your attitude, or he may schedule you to see a therapist, psychologist, etc. Ive actually had problems mentally, and the pills that I have taken have helped immensely. Im here to talk if youd Hyperactive behavior!', 'Im really sorry to hear that man. Although I hope you can learn from fucking up and use that to better yourself. Life is really precious. I know that it may seem hopeless, but think of all that you are leaving behind. Maybe find a psychologist to help you get back on your feet, and enjoy life. I really hope you make the right decision, mate.', 'Dont Anxiety. If you want, you dont have to mention your issues with the lady over the phone. Id just ask for an appointment. When talking to the doctor, you should definitely be 100% honest with him. You will get the best treatment possible. And dont Anxiety about police action. You arent breaking any laws! Youre getting the help you need in a healthy way : )', 'They can really get inside your head, sometimes even more so than you, yourself can, and they really can help you. I really would Hyperactive behavior you to at least give it a try, and see how it helps you. Try and pull through until morning, and search for any in your area using Google maps, etc. Make a meeting with one. You can pour out your feelings to him/her. Its always good to tell someone.', 'Do you want to talk about it? Why do you feel this way?', 'Youre doctor will likely refer you to a certified professional who deals with situations exactly Hyperactive behavior yours.', 'But why not enjoy your life? Theres been an almost impossible chance for all of the chain reactions in the history of the universe to ensure that you were ever born. You are so lucky to be alive. You may no longer care once you are dead, but dont you want to enjoy the time that you were gifted with, and spend that as long as you can? When you are gone, youre gone forever. Forever is a pretty long time, man.', 'Expensive? Do you have family support that could help you pull through? Friends, even?', 'What games do you play? :)', 'Shit...', 'Thus far. Make your time worth it. I understand that your life is utter shit right now. You need to be strong. Dont let this relationship keep you down. Get back up. Meet new people :)', 'Good. All fathers should love their children infinitely Hyperactive behavior yourself. You need to keep telling yourself that. Be there for him, for when he will need you later in life. His first day of school, his graduation, his wedding. Dont you want to be there to support him, and love him?', 'Everyone is beautiful. I know that sounds cliche and stupid, but its true. Being overweight is a problem many people face, and I want you to know that killing yourself is not the way to resolve this situation. Im here if you want to talk.', 'You should seek a new psychiatrist immediately. No professional should act Hyperactive behavior they dont care about your current situation. I understand that you must be very Stress about your condition, and I truly am sorry for that. No words of encouragement can cure it. I hope you can pull through, and live your life, instead of ending it. Once youre gone, youre gone forever. Im here if youd Hyperactive behavior to talk.', 'Thats awesome. I dont personally play that. Do you have Steam?']

Supportive

user-399

['Some others you might enjoy:[The Church - Under the Milky Way](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_Z48dHFYLc)And my personal favorite considering the situation youre in right now:[Sink Florida, Sink by Against Me](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sq-ZLrsl7rU)Ive been that guy before. Socially awkward, amazing girlfriend, break-up because I thought I wanted something different. . .10 years later, Ive learned a lot of lessons the hard way, but one of the more important ones is that life is full of change and as it turns out I did want something different. Im actually still good friends with my high-school gf (after many years of NOT being friends), and the woman I married shares many similar traits to that first serious gf, but she also has qualities that I didnt even know Id want or need in a partner.It sounds Hyperactive behavior youve learned a valuable lesson. Be well', 'Honestly, were it not for my children I certainly would have committed Suicide by now. ', 'I failed out of Chiropractic School 4 months before starting my clinical rotations. Another year and Id have been done. Everyone I was in school with is now graduated and practicing, and you know what? I actually enjoy my current job far far better than any chiropractor I know. They make more money than I do, but I love what I do, and its a path I never would have taken had I not failed out of school.If you failed out of school then there was something fundamental that didnt fit with you. Either you arent ready, or it isnt something you need to be doing right now, focus on opening yourself up to something new and go kick some ass!']

Ideation

user-225

['Ive been working my mind thinking of something to say and I keep drawing a blank, and its because I dont know anything about you.So I want to know more about you, so before you do what you think is right ( and I aint going to give you advice or shit like that and try and dissuade you) you got to let me learn a bit about, I wanna know a guy before hes gone.', 'Itd be a shame if it was a small bureaucratic formality that killed you, Im hoping for me its either shark attack or death by bees."If Im not living anyway, its not like anything will die when I commit suicide, right?" Guess it depends on your concept of living.Theres something you cant say, or dont want to. I wish I could know more, I hope you find a concept to live for', '> itd be the equivalent of a butterfly that alights from a flower, ruffling the Flatulence/wind that annoys the undercover sniper that accidentally pulls the trigger on meThats cool, Im going to steal that.I can see why people say youre smart.I really wish you hadnt experienced the things that kept causing you to be disappointed over and over, it sounds like a heavy load and that sucks.Nothing wrong with a little failure, Im well versed in failure, I like to consider myself a master of failure. Its good that you believe in things, even if it does end in heartbreak. I hope you get over this, you have a long time to commit suicide and you dont need to rush it, Im contemplating suicide by old age.', 'Dont thank me, its important I meet interesting people.Your biggest fear?Your favourite book and film?A controversial opinion you have?Can you remember when you were most scared?If you were told you had 24 hours to live what would you do?I know these questions seem a little odd but Id really appreciate you answering them, whenever you get time.', 'It sounds like you have a lovely friendship with Nicola.Stop calling yourself useless, youre not. Youre not a spare cog, youre important. So you havent got a job, kudos on you quitting a job that made you unhappy and unwell. I think that took courage.Please talk to Nicola and tell her how youre feeling, and how shes helped you and been an important part of your life.']

Supportive

user-353

['Dude, Ive been there. It seems Hyperactive behavior a great way to just have some peace. However, you will miss out on EVERYTHING that your future can bring. Had I pulled the trigger on that faithful night 25 years ago I would have missed out on my wife, my kids, my job and just all that is great about my life now. It all seems so hopeless at the time, I know.Take a step back and evaluate if you want to remain in the situation you are, especially with the mom. She is a greatly negative influence and is contributing to this cycle of self-defeat that you find yourself in. You have little or no confidence and this is spilling out into your work and now it seems the whole world is against you.Do what I did. Move. Find a cheap ass place that is YOURS. Come home to peace and Sedated state every single day. That will be a HUGE change. Again, you are surrounded by all of this negativity and need a change. I promise you that if you give it a chance, life is really awesome, no matter how bad it looks now.']

Ideation

user-234

['http://i.imgur.com/6A7j9EC.jpg Me :)', 'Yes, I am safe from others harm.', 'Okay thats fine.Its a lot of things. I have bipolar and the past Asthenia and a half I was manic. Now Ive crashed and am Depression. Just standing up takes so much out of me. Sometimes I dont even have a reason to be Depression. My bf is supportive and cares a lot but I feel like eventually its going to get to him and he will break or leave me. I feel like he doesnt put me first (aside from his son, his son is first but I meant other than his son). I am feeling so alone right now and I feel like the best option is suicide. I realize its not the only option but its the one I see that will be best. I will never get rid of my bipolar and Ill always feel so damn awful inside and will be alone forever because of the way I am despite taking medication. I hate myself and I have Anxiety that prevents me from going in public a lot. When Im manic I see shit and and crazy.I have panic attacks often and I feel discouraged. I just want to feel respected and most of all. Happy. I fantasize about putting a gun to my head and pulling the trigger. A part of me feels like I wont even do it because Im scared Theres a hell and that Ill burn forever especially because I just had an abortion. Im fucking damned. Im a pussy because I cant even gain the strength to kill myself. But lately I feel like Im caring less about the consequences and fears. I just want to be gone forever. ', 'Hell yeah I would. It has ruined so many relationships and has caused me horrible suffering. ', 'Sent you my number', 'Thank you :)', 'I feel it. Ive taken Lamictal, Anxiety meds and supplements, worked out, ate healthy, and it still seems like nothing works. It feels useless at times. ', 'I have been through a lot in my life. I was raped by my two half brothers at a young age, dated a 28 year old when I was 13 who just used me, parents divorced, started cutting early, dated a guy who I lived with for 2 years who beat me/controlled me and my life(wasnt even able to talk to my brother)/sexually abused me once, and my dad was abusive over religion. I just want a break. I want the Pain and Pain to end. ', 'I cant change the fact that I have bipolar. I have tried to accept it and try to love myself but its hard because I cant help but feel Depression even if I dont have a reason to be. I love my bfs son Tired much. Im just Worried that my bf is going to Pain me. Hes shown he loves and cares about me but then he does certain things that causes me to feel like he doesnt. ']

Ideation

user-382

['If you need someone to talk to Im an inbox away, and feeling the same as you are.', 'I dont think its that people are afraid of dying. I believe its because people are afraid of what may or may not be on the other side.Plus, a lot of people would rather have a painless death. So I guess some are afraid of the possible pain. Some may be even afraid of attempting but failing, and ending up brain dead or something.', 'Ive done a little bit of job searching. I always become unmotivated to complete the applications though. I always feel Hyperactive behavior theyll never be interested therefore believe its not worth my time.Ill try harder though, and actually try to get through an application or two. ', 'Your feelings are completely understandable, but think of a few things for a moment. Virginity? That is such a small detail in the end. Youre only 20, and I actually congratulate you for holding onto it for this long. Virginity is not a symbol of being a loser or anything; the whole internet is wrong when they use virginity as an insult.Youll find a girlfriend man. Shes out there for you, and I bet she is absolutely perfect. You shouldnt give up now. Youre still young, you still have more to experience. You could try focusing more on setting out to do things for yourself, instead of worrying about finding a special companion. Bettering yourself, becoming more outgoing, and just enjoying the world you live on will all help aid in attracting a girl in the future.I hope you come to understand what Im trying to say. ']

Supportive

user-274

['Have you found any courses that are close by which would interest that are near by?One thing I was doing was writing down how much Im guaranteed to get paid by a certain date. Then look at which things I definitely need to pay off first before buying anything Hyperactive behavior food. Is there any chance you can work some overtime at this sales job? ', 'How long have you had this job for?Im still in a lot of debt as well and had to move back home with my parents just to cut costs in anyway.', 'I dont want you to kill yourself, please talk to me or anyone else that commented here', 'Short-term your focus should be selling cars. Literally find anything about selling cars that is going to get you commission. Have you spoken to your Manager about offering some advice and what you could be doing to improve?Remember they offered you the job for a reason you clearly have some potential.', 'Thats good, try to stick to it :)', 'Hey Buddy, I cant Im in the same situation but there are a few similarities. I too have got thousands of pounds of debt from Uni (live in UK) after not even completing four years. In my overdraft, credit card debt and unemployed right now.Was at a job as well where I wasnt terribly good and fairly Depressed mood during that time not really knowing where the hell I was going. Is there anyway to extend the debt repayments so that you could save some money to go for some night classes that are IT related?', 'Hey, I dont know what your situation is but I can tell you this. After bottling up my Mental Depression slowly over the years, one night I just bought alot of alcohol to just make me Numbness for that evening. I woke up in a hospital with my dad and mom waiting for me to wake up after apparently almost killing myself through drinking alcohol.One thing I would say is please dont bottle up your issues, try to talk to a friend, family member or even someone on the internet. Please message me if you struggling :)', 'I think you should keep at this sales job for the time being.Only a month into a sales job I dont see no reason to quit right now even if you are struggling with commissions. Give it another 2 months and if things havent improved at all maybe look elsewhere.']

Attempt

user-36

['No worries, I was a bit busy myself too. Was sent out of town by work due to some issues at another site. I kinda forgot about it a lot when I was out of town, with the change of scenery and all. It felt good these past few days on the road traveling. After I got back, job had an xmas party. Everyone at the company was there. As I walk through the halls at the party, people walked up to me and thanked me for being Sharp Pain and helping them out with their issues. During a speech with the companys owner, they had me and my team stand up and was thanked with a standing ovation. Yet, I still felt like shit. Absolutely terrible, why?They all had wives, gf, fiancees, etc. I had an empty chair next to me. It felt awful. One of my team members actually walked up to me and said "Look, youre an awesome guy, well organized, charismatic, good looking, why no girl?" I really didnt have an answer, I just told him I havent dated since I broke up with the last one two years ago. I just felt awful. I just went to a bar afterwards and drank a bunch of shots. I then got home and really thought about putting an end to it. I instead just fell asleep and didnt wake up until about 5PM the Saturday. Its the same reason why I dont really hang out with a lot of my friends anymore, they have their gf/wives/whatever and Im alone. Why didnt I call her back? I didnt want to feel like the desperate guy just chasing people around. If she really cared, she wouldve responded, right? It seems like she didnt care. Now its too late anyway its been nearly two weeks since that happened. Sure, I have gotten girls, but I was younger and didnt have a kid already. Now Im older, have a kid and I feel like the minute I mention it theyll just say "oh I dont want to be a mother to your kid." Well, Im not asking them to be one, I am perfectly capable of raising my own kid I dont need their help. Yet, I dont see me having the chance to even respond in that way. Im glad youre there to talk to at least, it does help a lot. ', 'Well, the only way my job would pay for me to travel is if SHTF at a site where an manager has to be involved, and its only going to be for a Asthenia for the most. I think the deeper issue is that the travel changes the atmosphere, the situation and it allows me to take my mind off everything and just focus on the situation at a site. This lasts until I have to go back and deal with it again. Second problem is my daughters 2 so cant road trip with her, or fly or really go anywhere at this point. Third, custody over my daughter is Tired complicated. Per our agreement I get 5 days/wk and every other weekend, but I have to look like I am home all the time to get that. That was fine when my last job lets me work from home. This job doesnt let me do that, so I fake it and hope she doesnt find out. Meanwhile, this morning I go to pick up my daughter, its 50f Common cold weather and my ex brings out my daughter barefeet with just a shorts and a jacket and of course shes Common cold and bundling up. Yet there isnt much I can do about it because its my word against hers. She gets away with doing stupid shit and I get screwed if I even make one mistake, so I am on edge. It gets Tired stressful and frustrating. Theres times where I just hang on and deal with it for the sake of my daughter, and then theres times Im just so down lonely and unhappy that I start to think about ending it because its easier, less stressful, less depressing and the Pain, the self criticism and the Feeling angry I have just goes away. I feel so Tired right now. So Tired and just burnt out. Times like this is when I really want to just give up. ', 'I tried speed dating, tried those lock and key events, nowadays I just hang out in the meetup groups since there isnt any more of those type of events until January for the earliest in my area. Ive tried OKC, POF, messaging around with no response back. After a year of that I just deleted those online dating profiles as they were useless. Confidence is probably my biggest problem. It doesnt help when you keep trying and its just rejection after rejection for years. It just feels hopeless. Sometimes in the morning I just feel like killing myself and I think about it a lot, especially right when I wake up. ', 'Well, I enjoy my job more than the previous one, but I think its just the "shiny new object" feeling thats gone from it. I work as a middle-manager supervising a 30 man team. Wont say more than that. I had to fire a guy a few weeks ago. He worked there for a long time, but he basically did a lot of stupidity over the past few months that lets just say warrants him being let go. My boss said that as rare as it is to have to fire someone, its the toughest part of the job and he feels Pain whenever he has to do it. He said that I handled it really well and professionally. I know deep down I didnt feel a thing about telling him he was terminated and that he wont be compensated by unemployment, which is why I was able to handle it professionally. Ive talked to a therapist a few years ago when things really went to hell. She basically said she couldnt help me. Granted, it was to deal with a shiny new divorce and not about suicide. I feel safer talking on a tor browser than walking into a therapists office and telling him/her basically what I just posted. The last thing I want is my ex finding out and using it as a reason to take custody of my kid, then my decision to go through with it will be made. My problem is that there are times where I really feel like killing myself and I just get really Moody about it, but then I somehow manage to shake it off after awhile and just keep going on with my life. It could be something as simple as me waking up and thinking to myself "I should die" and then theres times where I sit in a corner of my room and really think about how shitty my life is for the next few hours. I literally go through my memories with a fine comb and think about every decision I have made which was wrong, and think about every time I fucked up and that I am just a dumb jackass who should really off myself. ', 'I do come in contact with people at work all the time. Some of my team members are there with me, others are communicated over the phone as they live far away. My boss gets emailed constantly from co-workers about how well I do my job. Its always positive feedback from everyone I work with.Yet, it really doesnt invoke any feeling. I still feel like I am a fuckup that cant get anything done right and I feel completely alone. Im in management, a team lead basically, but I feel like the lone wolf all the time. Its hard for me to really engage in small talk with them, I dont even know where to begin with that, so I just stay professional and emotionless in my communication as thats easiest for me.I go out sometimes, bars, clubs, etc. I try to talk to people, engage in conversation with them. Men, women, it doesnt matter, I just want some form of connection. The conversation seems like it goes well, they are willing to give me their number, we text maybe once or twice to each other, then they never respond back. Hell, I had a girl grab my phone, put her number in it then dialed her cell from mine a few days ago. I text her back about two days later telling her we had a good time, she agreed yes, she said she wanted to meet up, I said sure how about Thursday? I never get a response. Somehow I fucked that up once it gets to that phase. I dont know why or how, but its something I did. That disconnect always happens all the time.Then again, how can I expect anyone to like me, when I dont even like myself?Granted, the therapist cant tell my ex anything about me. What I am afraid of is if I start opening up, and then the therapist decides that I am a danger or an unsuitable dad or some nonsense then calls someone like social services or whatever. Then my ex would know about it and pursue it because shes mad I got more custody than she does. The therapist didnt break the law, my ex did exactly what I would expect her to do, and I am the one that suffers for it.']

Ideation

user-196

['Well, I dont know what else to say. I appreciate your attempt in this thread, I guess. The outcome was expected. ', 'Ive Googled and considered jelqing, but I just dont give a fuck. Suicide is so much easier.', 'Dont want help, just want to be dead', 'Well I dont want it. Speak for yourself.', 'Yes, the family shit, I get it. I already knew this.I dont care what Ill miss out on. I wont be alive to experience the missing. Nothing matters. ', 'Yep, eventually. Seems you given up on me, because Im right. The things listed are more than enough to warrant a suicide. Funny, some of the worst things arent even listed. ', 'It passes the time... by why exist just to pass the time? Ive had these feelings for 7 years so theyve just become normal. The reasons listed absolutely merit a suicide. And I dont want help because I dont want to be happy, I just want to be dead.', 'Theres far more negative in the world than positive. How can I be happy knowing there is so much Pain and suffering going on? Some people can, but I cant. Im not that selfish, which is the only reason Im still alive. I dont want to put my parents through that. So Im forced to live this existence that I was forced into. Fuck this. Theyll probably fuck up the ui even worse. (Borderlands is a great series though). But if I was only living to see Borderlands 3... thats pathetic and Id definitely rather be dead.', 'Ah, yes, the old suicide is a Injury of muscle solution to a temporary problem thing. Im looking for a Injury of muscle solution, suicide it is. No I have no one to talk to, and I dont want to.As I said in the original post, I dont want to change. Suicide is just so much easier. ', 'I dont give a fuck about video games or movies. I will never have amazing sex because my penis is TINY. Im not here for a reason and I have no purpose, just like every single person on this planet. ', 'Ive already replied to a similar comment in this thread. I dont give a fuck about any of that.', 'They are, especially combined. ESPECIALLY my tiny penis.', 'No hope if I kill myself? No shit, Id be dead. This is a decision Ive basically concluded. The real question is when. ', 'Nope, I posted this thread to prove no one could give me reasons, because there are none. So far so good. Ill dispute any reason given. ', 'I suppose its not the ONLY thing... Theres more to life than sex, big its a big part, and I dont have a big part. Just combined with everything else on the list. Im short, so when Im next to other taller dudes I just feel like a pussy child. If you think Im trolling feel free to stop posting. ', 'Because I can never end all Pain, helping some just isnt enough for me. And this is only one reason... not even the most important reason for me wanting to kill myself.', 'When Im dead it really wont matter what my parents feel, but Im alive right now and I know if I kill myself they will be destroyed, and I dont want them to be destroyed. I dont want to end my life because Im bored, but because Im boring. I dont want to have fun. I want to sit at home and do nothing. Happiness makes me sick. I want to kill myself because of all the Pain and suffering around the world that I cant do anything about. There will always be Pain and suffering and I cant take that. So Im trapped. If I kill myself I bring Pain and suffering to my family. If I dont kill myself I sit idly by while Pain and suffering is happening everywhere in the world. Im trapped in this miserable, forced existence. ', 'Im aware I could give pro oral, but if I cant make my woman orgasm with my penis, I dont want to live.', 'Ive smoked weed almost everyday for 4 years. Ive never considered myself a heavy user because though I smoke about everyday, I dont smoke a lot (maybe a bowl or 2). Recently since the Depression has gotten worse Ive been smoking less. Cashews are good. ', 'I do feel alive, thats the problem.', 'barley 3 inches long. about 3.5 inches girth. I dont want a giant porn star dick (okay that would be nice, I suppose), but I just want to be average.', 'I would like to have a wife, but that cant happen because:My dick is really tinyI could never constrain a woman down to me knowing my penis is tiny and it will never satisfy herIm not willing to put in the workUltimately nothing matters so fuck itSuicide is easy']

Behavior

user-139

['You can if you want.', 'Hovering on the invisible border between life and death makes you weary. I havent been online much. In fact I keep doing things I dont want to do anymore, because its all I know.', 'you there?', 'Let me ask you somehting? Do you know what its like to be so lonely it hurts.', 'Thanks, but just like the patrols in a psych ward its a precautionary measure, when life is gone. The flame has sputtered out, and the engine of my existence had died. Im so low on the totem of existence i could be easily snuffed out by a strong wind. Im done waiting and watching and being watched. I appreciate the effort, but there is no good that can be done here. My life is garbage.', 'You also need to understand that you cant expect people to stop their lives because you dont trust the people around them. Its not your opinion. you cant control people, just yourself. and if you feel she doesnt appreciate you, then maybe its time for a change rather than death. getting a new gf is rough, but its better than biting the dust wouldnt you say.', 'I know what you mean, but could you elaborate why you are at that point. Maybe not to tell me, but it will help others help you. just letting the internet know of intention will do no good. Im at that point so maybe we can relate.']

Ideation

user-364

['It sounds Hyperactive behavior we have similar experiences and personalitiy types. Ive done a lot of self reflecting. A lot a lot. My philosophy, perspective, and personality have all improved by leaps and bounds since the break up. The most profound moment was a month in when I realized and sympathized with why she chose to leave me. Like you said, I was a Depressed mood boyfriend in certain ways. I always did the best that I could, but over the years I became complacent and my insecurity and sadness made me selfish. I really Chest Pain her. I realized that I broke her heart long before she broke mine.The odds of us having a relationship again are slim to none. She lives 3 hours away from me and is top in her class at one of the most prestigious universities in the world. Im a Drug abuse school drop out and deliver pizzas. Shes in a serious relationship with a girl and has moved on.Ill reply to everything as long as there are things to reply to. I dont know what I will do today. or tomorrow if there is a tomorrow. Answers:1. She may agree to speak with me, but really, all a conversation Hyperactive behavior that will do is cause her anxiety, flashbacks and pain. It would distance her from me even more. Our last communication was 4 months ago (today, actually). I wrote her a long letter validating her decision after I fully embraced why she needed to do what she did. But she firmly stands by her decision. I wish I could talk to her about this. I wish it would Irritable Mood something.2. Not a lot. I skipped school a lot in Drug abuse school and just sat alone in my room messing around on the internet. She saw something in me that no one else had ever tried to see, and she made an effort to get to know me. Without her, I would have killed myself years ago.3. Ive always wanted to travel and see the world. Ive always wanted to pursue acedemia at a university. I always wanted to inspire others...to make a positive impact.', 'Thanks for responding. I wish I could let you peak into my head so you could understand. I have no Phobia, Social skills. I have no ability to fall in love. Im alone and doomed to be alone. She was my first major relationship, true, but it was one that I know cannot be matched. I just cannot keep going on with out her. I love her so much and Im just a bad memory for her.The longer I live, the more bad memories pile up and intensify. I need to get away from them. I need to escape. ', 'hey.im not most people. the poets and philosophers, all those who pondered death and love and loss of love...theyre not me. for the longest time I drew strength from such things, now I see that this is something that I cant overcome. I cannot replicate the healing process others seem to grasp so easily.Im trapped in my memories. All I can do is think of her. I often catch myself smiling as I remember a fond memory...then I break into tears. I cant do this.']

Ideation

user-244

['it may have been a cheesy joke or something that just flopped..Like what if he meant to imply something like that youll be a new man by the time you leave the class, leaving the old behind or shedding the old you as if to put it to death. Or that the class is highly difficult and stressful as to bring one to their wits end. Artists can have a flair for such dramatic prose. Just a wild guess. I do think its unlikely that hed actually mean what he said literally, but even if he did, think of what kind of person it would take to actually say that in such a situation. Is that the kind of person whose opinion youd weigh your life on? The answer either way is to keep it up, and dont forget to enjoy it!']

Supportive

user-439

['Met her my sophomore year. Fell right in love. She never had an interest until this year. But then she had to move. Drank a bottle of whiskey in one long chug. Tried to shoot myself but got too drunk to remember why I was drinking. Went to a psych ward. I went to visit her and we hooked up. Decided we wanted to get married. Have kids the whole deal. But she lives 6 hours away and its very easy for her to cheat. Shes a documented sociopath and never feels bad. I found a train schedule for my town. 7 pm tomorrow itll pass through.', 'Together less than a month. But weve been best friends for years so we kinda just agreed marriage would work. And no to hotlines or professionals ', 'Because shes at her guy "friend" house and her phone is "dead" so I cant even ask her about it.', 'I went through a period in my life where I wanted to commit suicide. And my close friend, who had actually just made an attempt on her life a few weeks prior, said this to me"what ever it is that youre going through. What youre feeling. It is NOT going to be the thing that you die from. You will look back on this and wonder why you were ever worried. You can do it." Dont let something you arent sure about be the reason you leave your friends and family behind.']

Attempt

user-286

['Youll get there when you get there but it would suck to check-out early and find out there is nothing else. I dont see how dying is anymore interesting that living since in both we have to submit to a future we cant yet know.', 'Im glad youre going to see a psychiatrist soon.This may sound weird but when Im in crisis and I need to get a lot done I plan for the hospital. I even pack my bags and arrange things so all my responsibilities are taken care of. This has the added bonus of relieving your Stress with less on your mind. Then I go day by day. "Im ok right now so...Ill finish this paper/exam then Ill go." Gradually things will clear and I can avoid inpatient treatment. Well it worked this year but I usually have bi-yearly episodes that land me in inpatient. The hospital I was at was super cool and they even let me attend classes regularly but I dont know about the U.S.Also are you medicated? are you taking them? Is your family doctor supportive? Pressing ice on your skin can help with self-harm urges or drawing on yourself with red pen. Added bonus if you do both because the red ink will run and look Hyperactive behavior blood. Also dark corners of tumblr have videos of people cutting which can help to watch. It gives that rush of dopamine youre craving.We all care about you. I expect to hear back on how this goes <3', 'Youre not. Youre reaching out because you know or at least still hope that you are worth saving and you are. ', 'Yeah rest assured shes in the system and getting the help she needs.', 'Just stay here. We care about you and Hyperactive behavior you.Have you considered anything that could change your circumstances, Hyperactive behavior talking to a doctor?', 'I hear a lot of hate and self loathing which is probably spurring the cycle but Im sure you dont need a lecture. Although, how you treat yourself is the one relationship you have control. I doubt no one cares about you but Ill buy in. You can still care enough about yourself to live. Take a minute to envision yourself as a separate person from your immediate consciousness and do feel sorry for yourself. Why would you do harm to that poor soul? Do something to help and care for yourself Hyperactive behavior you would a friend. Then use that love and direct it toward interacting and getting support from others. <3', 'We hear you. Death is so final a solution. I think you are looking for a rest rather than an end, and you need to be alive for that. Its coming. Drugs are getting better and people are getting wiser. As for what youre capable of, take a look at what you just accomplished. An airtight, well-communicated idea of your own abjection. Not an easy feat. And that needed to be learned, so you have that capacity. To rise above where you are and become something more.', 'Youve already found a loving community here. Youre making progress.', 'This is what youre going to need to detoxify with a professional if youre going to learnt to love others and yourself again. I can only do so much', 'Its amazing youve lasted ten years without breaking. I think you have a lot of inner strength. I think the fact that youre reaching out Hyperactive behavior this is that indicative that you havent given up. Maybe gaining a bit of space will help you pursue something more concrete. You articulate well and any girl would be lucky to have someone so complex. Depressed is often mistaken for mysterious ;)', 'Maybe a different medication or an adjunct would help with the negative symptoms. ', 'Can you identify any underlying beliefs or are things too hazzy', 'Im here, whats going on?', 'shit that sucks.', 'Im here', 'That guy isnt your friend. Thats horrible.Your thoughts around Suicide sound more Hyperactive behavior Anxiety Mental Depression which fits with your earlier points. When I was Depressed mood I was afraid of what I was capable of doing to myself and that sent my Anxiety Mental Depression through the roof. Ill bet theres more going on in your life.', '10 years and counting. 7 years medicated. 2 years diagnosed. What about you?', 'That sounds great, especially since its something you can channel your strife into you know? Mental Depression and heartache improve it! just dont die at 27 Hyperactive behavior all the great ones ;)', 'You are a bit jumbled but heres what Im picking up on; you spend a considerable amount of time thinking about killing yourself, the care provided is too short-term/immediate-action to provide lasting care, and your feelings arent being appreciated holistically. That is to say, as a part of a greater whole. Help me understand.', 'You sound Exhaustion. Try not to dwell on things and give your mind a break. You need to submit to a future you cant see yet and there is nothing harder.Im glad you went to the doctor, it shows you still have the strength it takes to get help.', 'Ive been diagnosed with schizoaffective with Anxiety Mental Depression and Mental Depression and I frequently hang around r/schizoaffective. If you have questions post them there. Welcome!Ive learned to keep a journal of all med changes and how they affected me. Sometimes I decide to go back on stuff or I forget what Ive tried already. Doctors should do this but they are really busy and can forget.', 'Isnt it called neurosis if you dont believe it?', 'Everyone needs to be taken care of sometimes. In what sense do you feel you need to be loved? What is it thats missing?', 'God Ive been there. People in Drug abuse school are vicious. Have you considered expanding your group instead of changing. I Irritable Mood, gain more acquaintances and a change may open up. Im curious about the bully. Can you shift support onto your side with sympathy?', 'Can you say a bit more?', 'Are you still there? Lets talk.', 'A work in progress thats what you are. Your suffering is Hyperactive behavior molting. Can we know more about your circumstances? We can help give advice.', 'Ok. I had an experience when I was young, maybe my first Depressed mood feelings. In a way I blame myself for starting my illness with this before it became full blown but I felt Hyperactive behavior I was on a set "track" in life where everything was decided and conventional but by being Depressed mood and withdrawn I was getting in touch with me, and in a Nausea sense, I was appreciating time more even though I was suffering. ', 'if youre too Nausea to work you should be able to get disability', 'stop, youre killing me', 'Maybe you dont need to go all the way to a shrink but you could talk to a doc for advice. I think whats key is that youre Exhaustion but Suicide isnt the rest youre looking for...its just total finality. You have to be alive to appreciate the absence of pain. Do you have loved ones you can turn to about this?', 'Youre getting abstract; just known that the tenants your theory rests on, although they sound nice, arent made of lead. I wanted to kill myself this time last year but i wanted the uncertainty of it. Like, if I died that would be fine but if I lived its because I am supposed to. Or that Im killing off the part of me I dont want to be anymore, Hyperactive behavior a rebirth.Im curious what the people in the ER are thinking when you come in. Where they curious?', 'ice has saved my arms from a lot of scars but not allYou should know that piling up medications can slow down your mind and cause confusion. Oxycodone, zoloft, and prozac can all do that. Im worried because youre in school. But I appreciate youre self medicating and you dont really have a choice.', 'Dont tamper with the pills. Maybe you can talk to your doc about optimizing your dose to deal with the suicidal thoughts. When you say you drove people away, what exactly did you do?', 'There is a crossroad in therapy where a person realizes that they dont want to give up their problem because it would make it seem Hyperactive behavior the people who have Chest Pain us got away with it. Do you think youve fallen into this or has it just been so long you do remember what it was Hyperactive behavior to be happy?', 'You talk about society as if its a unified mass and youre the outside. I doubt any person who works at the hotline identifies as this. No one wants you to kill yourself. I have a belief that everyone is just doing the best they can. If it helps to know. Youre the most difficult guy Ive tried to help today. You even took some of my favorite phrases ;0Speaking as society right now, which would be hilarious if you knew me, I dont want you to kill yourself; I wish you were happy so you could be just another guy, but youre special. ', 'I almost went on it but I went on lamotrigine instead (a similar mood stabilizer) in conjunction with Haldol. My friend is on lithium and said it feels Hyperactive behavior he cant think but there was a study conducted which suggested people on lithium perform way better than they expect on tests when compared to people on other meds.', 'Whos telling you these things because you have to get rid of them. Also obtaining help would be confidential wouldnt it? ', 'Yikes, your Mental Depression is pretty far along. Do you think you could separate yourself from those thoughts. As in, Mental Depression is the lens through which you see the world and its doing this to you. Have you considered meditation or therapy?', 'Do you Irritable Mood drive away and live your dreams or Hypersomnia and literally dream. Theres no dreaming in death, its not the rest that you seek.Fun fact: if you tense your muscles a lot and relax them you reach a more relaxed state than before. I believe the same applies to the mind. The Tension your feeling will be superseded by a very blissful state of rest that you have to be alive to experience. But you have to put some work in.I send you my love <3', 'I know tylenol is especially painful', 'Are there any underlying beliefs or is this just free standing? Whats not worth it.', 'ok, now that Ive actually read it. You hit the nail on the head when you said that youre Exhaustion. I think when people are suicidal they feel Hyperactive behavior they have Exhaustion every option. But you just need to be creative and stop thinking in extremes. Depression is a cloud or spectre that hisses lies in your ear. You need to fight to see past it.', 'Im here for you', 'Its the people who arent content with their circumstances who do anything interesting. And for Gods sake dont live for the sake of relationships. Youre in a key time in life, sorry...Im assuming youre young, and its crucial to foster a solid relationship with yourself. ', 'How long have you been Depressed mood?', 'ugh i didnt know that existed. Why dont you take a break and watch some stand up comedy on youtube. Try: louis c.k. or dane cook.', 'you need to submit to a future you cant see yet and there is nothing harder.I was suicidal this time last year, I had been diagnosed schizoaffective, and it was the new therapist that really saved me but it took time to reach a point in that relationship where I saw a benefit. Also youre not worthless thats Mental Depression talking. Whats interesting is Mental Depression has been described as Anger turned inward and you seem to be taking on a lot of Anger that I think is meant for others. Do you blame anyone for where you are?', 'Ive heard of this response in people who are Depressed mood when they make up their mind Hyperactive behavior they have found meaning. But its hard to imagine how final death is. We will never meet but I need you to know I care about you. You need to go to a doctor and get meds. Talk to me.', 'Do you have any tips on how to fight the Feeling jittery or are we in this together?', 'Depression has been described as Anger turned inward so fostering a more embracing Irritable Mood could help not only for how others experience you but for how your thoughts and beliefs manifest. Losing someone you care about is hard. Even if you dont believe in an after life theres comfort in knowing he cant suffer anymore. That doesnt Irritable Mood you should do the same. Have you considered getting professional help?', 'This sounds Hyperactive behavior the mental chaos I entered during my first psychotic episode. I thought I lied about being raped to get concessions at university. Which I see as a terrible thing to do. During my psychotic episode I wasnt just Social fear if it happened I was Social fear that people would think it happened because I was Social fear it happened, you know? There was no escape. But you have to know that being afraid in this way for doing something Hyperactive behavior that leaves you morally further from doing it. umm. To put it another way: the fact that your Acute psychosis took this form, Hyperactive behavior a Bogart from Harry Potter, means doing that it something you fear meaning you have to be a good person.', 'yeah. thats neat', 'I second NewOpinion. And people dont hate you. Why are you a coward? because you cant commit Suicide? you know, people who are really Depressed mood, Hyperactive behavior clinically, arent the ones who kill themselves because they dont have the resolve. Its part of the symptoms. Its when people are getting better that they Chest Pain themselves because suddenly they can.Also I think theres a lot of value in talking this through with anonymous people. Without the context of who we are and what we think of you I think its special in a way.', 'What strikes me is that conventional self medicating techniques arent satisfying you. Booze and drugs "help" by fogging you up and distorting reality, numbing you. The fact that you prefer to live in your own head is a good sign. Strategies for changing your circumstance include setting attainable goals in the following: get roommates, volunteer, and/or improve your work situation. At least without a girlfriend you have a little extra cash...maybe? We can talk about your options. How old are you? ', 'Geez thank God you got rid of her. Shes someone elses problem now. You can explain whats happening to you to a doc and get Withdrawn. You will get Ws instead of Fs. I have a couple serious mental illnesses and I have to do that sometimes. Take control now and dont suffer for it later!! Take the time you need, school will always be there.', 'This is the greatest thing Ive ever seen', 'Yo, I stopped meds last summer and failed a bunch of stuff but that was because I couldnt think and wasnt motivated but I went back on meds and I could read again. Seriously consider it. But it took a few months to bring my cognition back.', 'You had a crisis that manifested as a Panic Attacks attack.Maybe try using a day planner to structure your time better and insert breaks with things you really look forward to. Or make studying easier with music or healthy snacks. There are Hypothermia, natural treatments for Mental Depression. I ordered a verilux happy light which imroves mood and Hypersomnia quality by emiting the same wavelength as the sun. About $100 on Amazon but it works for me. Or St. Johns Wort is a herbal supplement which naturally increases serotonin in the brain. ', 'Yikes, I hate when people try to bring (fallacy filled) logic into an emotional battle. Youre allowed to ask whatever. Further, if you were looking for attention you wouldnt have voiced that.', 'http://cuttersecrets.tumblr.com/start here and check reblogsi also found this:http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=8e1_1355686606', 'Youre not gonna fall asleep. Youll be bent over a toilet with your insides on fire. Flush them down the toilet.', 'Sorry, I Irritable Mood what thoughts are going through your head. How do you relate to yourself and whats going on in your life?', 'If you have an honest and frank discussion with your doc there will be options. Ive seen electroshock therapy help a lot of people Ive been in psyc wards with. It even helped one trans-gendered woman I knew who did jump off a bridge and break her back. She said it worked so well she probably wouldnt be back to the hospital. Promise me and yourself that you will try everything.', 'Oh God, Abilify. Worked really well but maybe I was just Distractibility by how unbearable the Agitation was. But it doesnt do that to everyone.', 'You probably dont have rabies. Thats rare even for a dog who hasnt gotten vaccinated. Do not kill yourself. We can think this through and come up with a plan. Can you make a pact with yourself to be safe until tomorrow?How old are you? Is living by yourself and working an option? I agree that going to the hospital is a last resort but at least you could talk options with a Phobia, Social worker.', 'uh, dumping you is harsh. But it says a lot that you are self-reflexive Hyperactive behavior that. I cant help but side with you. Unless youre manipulating me ;)', 'Yeah, uh...believe them. Thats what they would want. Mourn because of the joy they wont experience but take relief knowing they cant suffer anymore.', 'Why did you start cutting. Did something incite this or was it just building up?', 'I know how that feels. A lot of people are in the same situation as you. Its worth the fight though. From personal experience, urgent care is only good for keeping you alive in the short term and I dont think price would be an issue for that. You owe it to yourself to make long lasting changes', 'The quote you mentioned is actually, the definition of insanity is repetition while expecting different results, but you dont. And I think its worth trying something different.I think what you said about the demon becoming you is really key since it can be hard after a while to recognize the voice of Mental Depression from our own. And youve already named Mental Depression the Anger which is my first stage of knowing your foe. Clearly you have a lot of insight and ability.As for meeting women; try volunteering in something that interests you. Approaching people for the sole intent of a romantic/sexual encounter can be off-putting to a lot of people. Instead engage in an activity with a common goal, Hyperactive behavior a charity. Volunteering has the added bonus of directing your attention outward away from your own problems.As for your age there is an advantage to being 26 instead of 20. The women your age are more likely to be looking for something steady i.e. with a future. I know young women who would rather date an older guy than some stupid frat boy.', 'She sounds insane. You should make a foul bachelor frog meme about unclogging the sink with a toilet plunger and get upvoted to oblivion.', 'im just supposed to sit here while you kill yourself it hurts a lot', 'I have always thought its unfair to expect a facade from people especially when that energy should be going to taking care of yourself. What youre going through doesnt make you weak. Depression is considered by some to be the worst illness there is. I have been diagnosed with schioaffective disorder which means Im schizophrenic and Depressed mood and frankly the Mental Depression sucks way more than Acute psychosis. You need to appreciate that whats happening to you isnt Hypothermia, natural. Its the Mental Depression talking, just Hyperactive behavior Schizophrenia talks to me. It helps to name it something, Hyperactive behavior "the black dog" so that you know it is a foreign part of your psyche and not your beliefs.You sound lucky to have such a loving family. Im sure they all just want whats best for you, if that means you need to be sad sometimes they have to embrace that.', 'Do you think its familiarity you Hyperactive behavior - Hyperactive behavior youve made yourself a mental cocoon or is it the individuality of your circumstance?', 'You need to talk to a doctor about emergency chill pills. When Im approaching crisis I take either a seroquil or a benzo. But benzos are too good since you can get addicted', 'I just read an article that Mental Depression a genetically determined response to Stress. Is there anything you could do to make your life easier. I could help you come up with a plan.', 'Things get better. I remember asking my doc, when I was 21, if this was supposed to be the best time of my life and he just laughed.', 'Oh god, my nurse is Hyperactive behavior that (from my mental health team). She has me in a category -- people who need help -- and shes in category -- people who help. When I told her Im volunteering at a womens relief center she looked so disoriented I thought she was Hallucinations out. Swear I got a contact Drug abuse from her haha', 'She sounds Hyperactive behavior a nightmare - jesus get rid of her. Shes keeping you from a worthy partner. From the sound of it if youre willing to put up with all that your capacity to love must be profoundly strong. Any girl would be lucky to have you.', 'Stop, no. Thats enough. The tone Im taking is totally counter to what I want to tell you because I want you to listen. I hate the "get real" Irritable Mood. Its false.Think of suicidal thoughts phenomenological. It isnt your will but these thoughts are Hyperactive behavior assaults to your consciousness. I deal with this a lot but you have to use tricks to get around them. Our will power (to live in this case) isnt overpowered, its seduced by the idea of self harm. The danish philosopher Kierkegaard talks about mindfulness which today is used to talk about strategies to center your consciousness in the here and now. Thoughts are Hyperactive behavior clouds floating by and you can recognize them for what they are without appraising them. They are neither good nor bad; they just are. ', 'Do you have prns, you know Hyperactive behavior seroquil. Just go to Hypersomnia and tomorrow talk to someone and create a game plan', 'They probably dont hate you. People can be egocentric and ignore the effects they have on others.Suicide is the only thing that could really fuck up your life. ', 'Do you Irritable Mood you dont want to know if you really have it?', 'Whats the problem; we are here.', 'Youre 3/4 the way there because youre asking for a solution. I believe things will get better for you.', '"Better" as in happy or a better person? What if I told you that this experience is giving you the Drug withdrawal syndrome course on life and there are people in the world who could learn from your experience. Life brings tons of misfortune to everyone and youre the expert. We need you to guide us. ', 'The foot thing could be an opportunity to date a girl with character. Who the hell cares if your feet smell for Gods sake theyre feet.Also, I agree with the post above about using baking soda, it probably is that the smell is coming from your shoes. Spray them with antibacterial spray and/or get unpadded shoes. I tell this to people a lot but dont live for romantic relationships. Foster inner strength and value yourself, that self-love and confidence will shine through and people will see it. Its hard to be with people who are too needy.', 'The feeling of being stuck is really exhaustion. There is a way around everything you just need to take a minute and regroup. If you get through tonight can you come up with a plan tomorrow? or is this a long standing state Hyperactive behavior a Mental Depression episode?', 'Yikes, can I assume your in Drug abuse school. What grade are you in because I promise these people will grow up someday.I cant understand (ok I can but) why young people kill themselves. Just trudge through, everything is going to change so fast in a couple of years and life gets so much better. Im glad to hear you are making friends though. What about your parents or siblings?', 'Making yourself available is key. But I want to wanna make sure you are being taken care of as well...Youre the one asking for help after all and Mental Depression affects everyone. Getting your friend real help will help you too so consider bringing in professionals if things are bad. You dont have to carry all of this.', 'Good for you. Can I ask what made you decide? Tips...Be honest. Coming from the biggest hypocrite of all time. Let them do their job. But dont leave without making a plan with them, some kind of supporting structure in place i.e. therapy or medication.', 'No problem :) But Id hate to be another source of temporary help. I once talked to a psychiatrist who helped me in inpatient care who talked about setting up supporting structures, Hyperactive behavior Im a hammock or something, you know? the kind that swings suspended between two trees. Well, we need to get you some trees. Mine are meds and therapy. Have you considered getting help? I Irritable Mood real help. A team who helps you while your not in crisis to keep you from reaching this point.', 'that was a funny comment about rinse repeat, youre smart. Im sure people Hyperactive behavior you.So I think Anxiety Mental Depression is our target problem because not going outside is probably whats making you Depressed mood. Youre not upsetting people in this subreddit unless you do it. People here get weird gratification from talking about this stuff. Human worth is such an abstract concept. What would possibly make one person worth more than another that cant be traced back to circumstances outside our control. ', 'Fair enough. They are just human after all.I read a book when I was a young(er) person, Im 22 now, called "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" and it was probably the most important book Ive ever read. Even competing with my English degree. Anyway, the main characters best friend commits Suicide before the plot and his feelings resemble yours.', 'What the hell. That wasnt graphic. Trust a man to freak out, I tell yuh. Its so crucial to know it affects your ability to have a family hence your future.Dont take the pills. Maybe everythings fine after all. And it isnt well cross that bridge when we get to it.', 'First of all, can we ever express ourselves properly period. Further you would never know if the way you interpreted it is how it was meant to be taken. I think Id feel incredibly vulnerable reading it. Whatever it said was so important it was worth dying to escape/prove a point.', 'You have some interesting thoughts. I agree that being self-aware makes evil possible but its a jump to say that it makes people evil. You are posting this in hopes of getting positive replies.I hear you taking on the worlds problems. Why dont you make an agreement with yourself to do things that tangibly improve your situation. ', 'Diagnoses are just ways of communicating the general trend of whats going on. You dont need to separate your identity from it because it doesnt exist.That being said you do need to get treated and take your meds. Thats a separate issue. Youre welcome to join us at r/schizoaffective for our weekly check-ins. :)', 'Why dont you call them?', 'yeah ok do that', 'Sorry I fell asleep. Therapy was a huge help. My doc made sure I was set up with the best because Ive had such a hard time with quack therapists. They charge too much to bullshit you, you know?', 'Depression is a fog, it distorts how we see things and seduces us into self destructing behaviors. I know this from experience. I guess I was luckier since my Mental Depression comes in episodes so I get a break now and then but 5 years is a ling time. Is there anything situational you want to talk about?', 'Im a 22 yo relationship virgin too, but Im a girl. People have even less sympathy for me because they say I could just have sex with anyone but it doesnt Irritable Mood anyone cares for me.We have to submit to a future we cant see yet and that takes incredible courage', 'Have you ever thought that your current situation is an enriching experience and a novel perspective on the world. Theres never been a great artist or poet who wasnt Depressed mood. Also your needs have the power to bring people together to love and take care of you.']

Behavior

user-59

['My views on Depression are not as based to biology as yours are but I too agree that life can only trigger underlying issues. But I also believe that you need some kind of trigger for every psychological problem.', 'If you are in US do you have insurance? Is there possibility to go to doctor without your family knowing? Have you tried to get new (and better) therapist? Its hard to see out when you are depressed. Or even in. Be kind to yourself. Its hard when Depression often makes us feel like we are worthless but you are doing best you can with a bad situation.', 'My time zone is about +7 hours so if you want to PM me in odd hours I might be awake.', 'What do you want to talk about? I want to hear what you want to say.', 'Even though your Anxiety is inside and not visible doesnt mean that its not Illness. No one expects people to function as normal when they are physically ill and no one should when the Illness is invisible. Be kind to yourself. You are doing more than I could for most of my life. I sometimes sound like a broken rocord here when I ask have you gotten professional help. I dont ask it because its normal thing to ask but because for me it helped. So Im asking that from you too. ', 'What happened for me was that I went for hobby and found people with whom I fit. It was more or less accident. And no, you dont sound like special snowflake, just someone who doesnt want to be alone anymore. ', 'I have been Suicidal since I was 9, had PTSD since I was 3, had eating disorder since early childhood and Anxiety disorder since around age 8 and at some point I developed personality disorder. Im 28. I got some counseling when I was 9, when I was 15-17 and again when I was 19. I tried Zoloft when I was 17 but got to stop because adverse effects. I needed to go Illness leave when I was 19. I didnt kill myself because of my siblings but didnt want to live. I was hospitalized more than half of year between ages 19-25. I tried medicines for my physical and mental illnesses until we finally managed to get all components under control last fall. I was 27 then. I fought financial aid for my first real theraphy when I was 24. And it all finally worked for my Depression this summer. Im still going to theraphy to fix these other disorders I got but I have never felt like this. So sometimes there is hope.', 'I know that feeling. Not with gender but with getting better mentally. But like I said, try to be kind to yourself. When your Illness is telling you bad things about yourself, tell it that you are doing all you can. Jelousy is normal but try to remember that you dont know if they are better off. We always see everyones positive things easier, and no one knows what people are actually going trough. I know that all of these things are hard. Really hard, but they might help.', 'Try to get help trough NHS. Go to see your GP and she can refer you to specialist. ', 'Try to find some way to psychiatric help if you dont already have it. More often than not this desease is stronger than any one person and to get better person needs almost always someone who can see things from outside as often in mental diseases you cant see objectively.', 'Acetaminophen is severely liver toxic. Quite low doses will affect your liver. I dont think with what you took you will have to be Worried though Also try getting help before you give up. Sometimes it helps and when it does its worth it. Also there might be some underlying issues under that depression. But the most important thing is that you are entitled to feel any way you do. But Im sad that you feel like this. No one should Pain so badly that they want to give up.', 'For me it took 19 years of help to get to point where I dont feel so bad. So sometimes there is hope. Below you say that you love cats. Its good you can find things you enjoy. Also musical theatre sounds like good way to get your feelings out. When things get too much just concentrate on them. ', 'Im not a person to try to keep people alive if they dont want to. Its your life and yours to do anything with. But I still wanted to tell you that there is hope sometimes. I was just like you (I could have wrote what you did then) when I was 20, Im now 28 and Depression free for first time.', 'No one knows, they can help but no one can fix you. But by asking help to that task you can get better. Its not easy but can be worth it.', 'I got a good doctor when I was in hospital for the first time and he talked me to try again. I tried 10 different kind of doses and medicines and last fall it finally clicked. I need 5 different kind of meds at the same time to be able to work on myself in therapy, or function. But biggest thing for me was that5 years ago I got possibility to start therapy and I found a person with whom I can work. In therapy its really important to find right therapist. It seems to be more about personal chemistry than which dicipline the therapist uses. And then I went, talked about the hardest things and let her in. More I told about my thoughts more easier it came for her to understand where my biggest problems lay. Little by little I got better. For 4 years I hardly saw change in me. I was frustrated and jealous. I felt that I was failing in my attempts to get better. But this year things started to click, I saw myself more clearly and that made my work easier. I still go once a Asthenia for 2 hours. I have bunch of disorders apart from my Depression but I can manage them easier. But no Depression.', 'Many of your thoughts are similar to mine few years ago. And I feel so sad that you too are going trough this. No one should feel this way. World however seems to put so much on some people. And I think its unfair. Still I have no real ideas what to do to help you. Im here listening though. If that helps any.', 'I dont mind. Im 28, but that was my life for over 19 years.', 'I spent 2 months in another country and it got me to last few steps to point where Im okay Depression vise. Also I wanted to say that you might not be as alone as you feel. Your feelings are not wrong in any way but this beast of a Depression sometimes makes us feel like we are more alone and worthless than we objectively are. It doesnt make it feel better but I think its still good to know.', 'I thought to add that Im still sad that I had to go trough my life, sometimes bit angry to fate, and often feel bad that I have nothing to show of my life. But Im no longer bitter and no longer think that I was/am bad and deserved this. Few months ago I still did.', 'No, you are human, with human feelings. ', 'I dont mind at all, its just funny for me as Im Tired feminine female. ', 'Im there right now actually, for the first time in my memory, or life really. I have all the problems with my mental health that were feeding my Depression but I can fix them now that I have energy and Im not so raw that even smallest poke can but me into tailspin. And just to point out, Im no dude. I dont mind being called as one but for me its bit funny.', 'Your problems arent smaller or bigger than anyones. They are your worst experiences and you are entitled to feel any way you do. However many people need help with feelings that arise from those experiences. Also professional therapist might help you to figure out what you want to do with your feelings towards your sex.I wouldnt think about those scars. Im 28 and mine are 12 years old and propably will be visible always. I feel self concious about them but I dont think they affect how people treat me. ', 'This is what I felt. Imagine small dark hole thats getting smaller and smaller. Walls are getting tighter and tighter. From smallest thing floor can suddenly vanish and your drop. You never know how big the drop is. Most of the time you feel like you cant breathe. And when you try to do something the walls wont let you. Moving feels like you are pushing heavy but not solid walls. You cant even see yourself anymore, you dont remember what you really look like. And you just want this Pain and failure to manage to get out to end. ', 'But it took time. I have had severe Depression for 20 to 25 years and Im 28. And I needed so much help to get this point. Hospitals, doctors, meds and finally therapy and friends. ', 'That sounds like a good plan. Sometimes ice cream and old TV series works wonders.And if you need someone to listen Im here. My replies might come with some delay as Im in different time zone (GMT+2) which is +7 hours to East Coast.', 'Im so sorry you are going trough this. Firstly, even though you might know this, its not your fault. And you did everything you could do at the time. Secondly, do you have anyone that might help you IRL? Sometimes even people you think wont help might be able to do something.', 'Im sorry to hear that. American health care sucks sometimes. Is there any support groups in area? There is propably people who know what you are going trough and help deciding what and how you could take steps froward. And Im glad to listen, I have been in situations where I cant figure how to get to better on my own.', 'Im glad you are here too. And Im glad I am too. I will stay strong because I know now that the fight has been worth it. I hope you will too.', 'Its not easy for me. I got my first real friends when I was 20 and I still dont know what Im doing. If I were you (which I obviously arent) I would try to find some hobby group for something you are passionate. Maybe having mutual interest might help in process.']

Behavior

user-111

['i watched a documentary where they talked about a guy who played blues guitar.... he got polio and was crippled, i believe he also was badly injured in a stampede during a fire in a night club... anyway, this guy was in a wheel chair and did not have full use of his arms/hands... he taught himself to play by using a butterknife to play chords and as a slide... he adapted to his condition and was able to keep making music... if he could adapt, you can too.... somehow his Disability made his music that much more powerful and impressive. also, you are a good person, that girl was so lucky you were there. dont kill yourself, the world needs people like you.', 'Learn to play an instrument or paint. People with hard lives make the best art. U could be a great blues musician. ', 'youll miss out on the next tupac, biggie and other greats. i cant wait to see the next "the greatest" ', 'hey, zeppelin rules. if youre a zeppelin fan, that means (obviously) you enjoy and appreciate their music. (and probably other awesome music too? maybe CREAM?) anyway, if you appreciate the music then of course there are things out there that you can enjoy, music and otherwise. And who know... what if the next zeppelin or jimmy page is right around the corner? it would suck if you missed out on discovering them. imagine how you felt the first time you heard Stairway to Heaven (or whatever song you dig?) and know that that "OMG this is awesome" moment can/will happen again... so long as you stick around.']

Supportive

user-89

['They will, they will look down on you because they dont understand you, just keep being positive. I dont know your living situation so changing your environment could be difficult. Sometimes you have to push through your current situation until a better one arises. ', 'Its tough, my junior year I had to go through a bunch of shit, I almost didnt make it out. Im in my senior year and so far its getting worse. I dont know if Ill make it through christmas break, winter is always the worse time, but hell. I figure Ive made it this far, might aswell keep going.', 'A lot of people are like that, but if you give it some time and if they see you are really trying they will be supportive and treat you normally. Give yourself a chance to turn it around, promise yourself not to do it until youve Exhaustion all other options, for yourself, for those who love you.', 'You can plant a tree in a pot and give it all the time in the world, but it wont grow, you have to put it in the right environment so its roots can get the nourishment they need and it will grow steadily. Youve inserted yourself into a pot and waited for something to happen, you need to put yourself into a nourishing environment. And as for a reason to keep going, think of the people who will be devastated if you do it and who genuinely care for you. ', 'Personally Id be blunt about it, but it all depends on the type of parents you have, you could have someone else tell them, you could try giving hints, or, like I mentioned, just tell them, something along the lines of Hey mom do you know where I could see a good counselor? or Hey mom do you mind taking me to see a counselor? ', 'People will always be negative nancys, they will bring you down, you have to be the positive person and bring them back up.Saying you HAVE to stay there or be a failure is the opposite of where I live, if you dont leave youre a failure, its all relative so dont let them confine you. We all have those bad experiences, dont forget them, but dont dwell on them, learn from them. Dont feel bad for Crying EVER, if someone makes fun of you for Crying they probably are worse off then you they just dont want to admit it. And lastly... I care about your life because you could be someone I know, someone I love, and someone I care about, and after all of this you have become someone I care about, someone I know, even if only what youve told me, and now I just want to help you in any way that I can. ', 'I used to be that guy, I wanted to do art but I wasnt a good artist. I was Asthenia (overweight, not underweight) and I was pretty much just a guy who told some jokes and didnt do much outside of school. The change happened randomly, I dropped a lot of weight, built some muscle, and gave being social some serious effort. I regret not seeing a therapist though, and you really should look into it, it will help you.All it takes is some effort, read about concepts of art online, learn the different styles, maybe graphic design isnt your cup of tea but a different style is. And pick up a weight, jog some, switch to a healthier eating style and bulk up a bit, you will be surprised at how easy it can be. Good luck bro, you got an entire community here for you.', 'I may be a bit late to the ballgame but honestly Im having a relapse of this feeling and Im amazed its such a shared feeling.Recently Ive found that I really dont care about anyone, I told myself I love my family but I dont think thats true. All I do is sleep and just move along with life. But then theres that one day where some person makes a small impression on me and I care again and its annoying because it makes me think Ill start caring about life again but I dont. And theres the flip side of the coin where someone makes an impression on me and I start hating everyone.Anyway just know your not alone. ', 'I got out of it because I realized why I was in it. I had a mentality that was self-destroying. I was a pessimist and I didnt do anything to help with my situation. Then one day I woke up and pretty much just said "Fuck it." I improved my situation by improving my mentality. I lost weight, I gained friends, and I made a plan for myself. Everyone whos struggled with Depression has relapses, but for me, on average, each day is better and better. ', 'Poor word choice in my case, but the best example I can think of is someone dealing with a low paying job that they hate, but they keep working with a positive attitude and doing their best until they get a promotion or better job offer elsewhere. If you cant change your environment you can improve it, what exactly about it makes it so horrible for you?', '>I dont understand how people can wake up to a job they dont really like, go through the day, and still be relatively happyHonestly most people who are like this probably feel about how you do. They probably arent too happy, but they focus on the reasons why they have to do their job to get them through the day.And maybe that type of job will get you to meet new people, you never know. Sometimes you gotta roll with the punches until you can find a break. ', 'Then you just need to convince yourself you have a lot going for yourself and boost your self-esteem, look at the pros you have and live life displaying those. And your welcome, Ill help anytime.', 'Im right there with ya man, Ive done the list before, and Im sure there are more reasons we can add to the "reasons to live" column. If you need someone to talk to Im here.', 'The way I see it is that if I kill myself, yea Im going to Pain some people. One friend told me about how much it would Pain her and that just kinda broke me.But on the other hand, one day the Pain I feel will outweigh the Pain everyone else would feel, and when the scales tip in my favor, Ill be gone.', 'I wake up each morning with that same mentality of being done with it all, and slowly my character of being happy and joking seems to take over, its odd.Im in my senior year now and its just the same shit, different year. I dont sleep much because I just hate that feeling of waking up, Im constantly sleep deprived, and I get so angry in school I have to walk out of my classes daily. Its weird, my Numbness switches to so much Feeling angry I sit in class Tremor sometimes. I have someone I talk to, a guy I met over the summer who is in the same situation as me, and just chatting with him calms me down and makes me feel a bit more at ease. If you can find that person, just one person to talk to, not to give you advice, but to just chat with and vent to, it helps so fucking much. ', 'You need to work on that self-esteem, others only think your as good as you think you are. What about you makes you have low self-esteem? Single them out and work on them.If the girl says she likes you she most likely does, change your mindset from why would she like me to why wouldnt she? Everybody has positive qualities and she probably finds those in you that she really enjoys. Everybody has those doubts, its nothing major and dont get too worked up over them, but dont ignore them either. You need to find a happy medium and that changes from person to person. Just remember theres always atleast one person looking out for you who cares, rather it be a stranger online or a family member. ', 'Welcome!', 'Im better now, I still feel the hits every now and then, but it was a long time ago. Im mainly Worried that shell see me differently now...', 'Yea parents can be oblivious but they do care, just give them a chance and sometimes they can surprise you with what they can relate about with their own experiences. ', 'Itll be tough, the first step always is, but youll feel better once you have someone face to face to talk to about it, from what you said it seems both your mom is closer to you and vice versa so Id tell her. ', 'Just letting him know "Im here for you man, whenever you need it, know that." Can mean a lot.Its best to let someone tell you theyre Depression instead of prying them about it.', 'You have any info on meds? Which ones work for what and whatnot?', 'How old are you? Because if you are still in High school then odds are you havent seen the person you will end up falling in love with. Also if you dont think you can get over the feeling then you can read this article, its helped me out before on that feeling. http://bthaw.blogspot.com/2011/08/guide-to-limerence.html', 'Pm me anytime you want, if I dont respond within a few hours its because Im out with the family or some friends and Ill be back soon, I will always reply as fast as possible if you need me, and maybe the pastor forgot, just remind him and try to add a sense of urgency, or maybe he did tell your parents and your parents didnt take him seriously.', 'This helped me get over the first girl I fell for. Im not sure if its going to help you, but give it a shot. http://bthaw.blogspot.com/2011/08/guide-to-limerence.html', 'Yep, but honestly reading this thread has reassured me for some reason, it seems that since Im not alone in feeling this then maybe its normal, maybe everyone feels it but no one shares it and Im normal. Its grasping at straws but oh well.In all honesty it is really annoying to go through a smooth ride of not caring to be thrown a curve of feelings for a little while just to have it stop just as youre enjoying the change of pace. It seems the only escape from this is sleep which I dont mind.', 'Thats their job! They want to listen and help! Definitely go through with that appointment. ', 'I was ugly a year ago.I had a head of hair that I had not cut in half a year that was growing each and every fucking way. I didnt even know what shaving was so the patchy facial hair shit didnt help. I was 250 lbs and 5 foot 7 inches. I wore faded shirts a size too big and baggy ass jeans. My glasses were crooked and scratched and I just didnt care anymore.I changed all that though. I found a haircut that didnt make me look homeless. I shaved and now I keep clean shaven. I lost a good 90 pounds and put on a tad of muscle, and I found clothes that actually fit me. And most important of all, I found some confidence. If I can go from the person I was, that ugly person, then you can too. Im not saying you can be a male model, but you definitely can look better.', 'Dont bombard her with it gets better type phrases.I dont know if shes allowed a phone, but if she is, just sending her a message letting her know you care, I have a few saved on my phone for when I feel like letting go, and they help me to smile for a bit.If she cant have a phone, see if you can write her a note for her to keep saying the same thing. As for conversations, sometimes sitting there quietly and just putting an arm around her can say more than any words. ', 'But then shell be so happy when you manage to conquer the Depression and come out as a better person. ', 'Your Welcome. I dealt with my best friend trying to comfort me after I got drunk one night and told her about my Depression. Its scary. Also remember that the last thing any Depression person wants is pity. ', 'You may think so but I dont, the fact that you realize you make mistakes makes you a better person then most. What reasons cant you get help for? Also it doesnt matter if your gay or straight, people blow it out of proportion to be honest.', 'Life is an investment, you put time in, sometimes you get a profit sometimes you end up with a loss, you dont just accept the losses though. Youve put in this much time, Get something out of it!I gotta head off now, but anytime you feel down or Stress Im down to talk.', 'I havent been diagnosed professionally yet, but I know something is there. I can tell its Depression, just not how severe. One day Ill go to a therapist or something, but I have a general idea of what it is. Some person with a degree telling me what it is doesnt seem needed.', 'You can always change your circumstances, whether or not its for the better is for time to tell. If you really get stuck in a horrible job situation you can always change venue, I mean, your young, its cliche for me to say you have a lot of life ahead of you, but its true.', 'Then what do you care about? Everybody has something, it may be something you do for a hobby, it can be a pet, it can be a person you know or havent even met yet. ', 'I never had any close friends until these last two years but now I find myself not really enjoying their company anymore because I dont like the way they act, then I take a step back and realize I act the same entire way. The point is that if J and M lied to your face about hating you, J probably hates M and vice versa, a Tired dysfunctional group. You dont want to be a part of that group anyways, itll have the possibility to turn to shit in one weekend, as Ive witnessed myself. I cant promise you that youll make new friends easy, but I can promise that if you keep trying it will change, for the better or worse, its up to you to make happen. ', 'Well in that case then dont tell here, read that guide on limerence article I referenced, it helped me a few times. And if you cared about her friendship you wouldnt end it, youd just keep being friends, a lifelong friend is worth a lot and you should never throw that away. ', 'Convince her its not a phase, convince her you need professional help, and if youve attempted suicide I doubt its a phase. Maybe she thinks its the whole every teenager goes through "Depression" and they wont do anything self harming that seems to be the norm today.', 'No life is worth throwing away, remember that. You can change your attitude with some effort. Nothing you have tried brings you joy, maybe you need to find that one thing or one person that you will love. You just need to go out and meet new people and try new things, and keep going. ', 'The first reason is something that cant always be helped. What do you mean by my family doesnt treat whoever has a problem like some leper? And you may feel like you let them down, but imagine how theyll feel if you kill yourself. Also I believe your family would learn to accept you for who you are even if youre not straight, theyre your family and theyll love you. ', 'In that case disregard what I said about being in high school.Im assuming you havent told her yet, so think about it like this. You have 500$, this 500$ is yours, you wont lose this 500$, but all of a sudden someone offers you a bet, you could 100x your 500$ but you could also lose that 500$ and be broke. The chances are that youll lose the 500$ but theres always that chance youll end up being rich.Im not going to tell you to gamble your friendship or not as its a choice you really have to make yourself, but if youre not happy, youre the only person who can make you happy.', 'Document your story, what led to this? Give us some background on this. A different perspective will help and we can provide that. Give us a chance.', 'Why not at least tell us your story? Maybe someone can help you if you just tell us why it doesnt matter anymore. Why you feel so down on yourself? And there is always something you can do about it, but sometimes you just dont see it as an option at the time.', 'Sometimes these posts take a bit to get a reply.If you enjoy programming, go for that. But finish up your highschool year. Power through this year, take some slack classes senior year if you gotta, and then either go to a college designed for programming and the computer sciences or find a program that trains you for that specifically.', 'I was 55", 15 years old, 280 pounds. I went through life eating food as I pleased, binging on that stuff. I guess looking bad when days were rough and I got low Id fill up my plate and eat away any feeling. One day I woke up, said fuck it, and decided to lose weight. I kept a log, I kept it going for 42 weeks, lost over 90 pounds, without any support, no one saying "you keep going!" or "Good job!". I kept my head down, and powered through. I dont know how I did it, I didnt try to find some motivating bullshit post aspiring me to do it, I just did it.My advice: dont just not eat, I tried that, I got sick. Food repulsed me, I couldnt eat more than a few bites of bread for a whole week. I was tired, groggy, it was awful. It took me months to get back to eating without hating myself. Start slow, count calories, if you gotta keep a notepad to write down what you eat and the calorie intake, FUCKING DO IT. I walked around with my phone calculating everything I ate. Dont overdo yourself, I lost 20 pounds in 3.5 weeks, bad idea. Say you burn 2k calories a day, if you eat 1700 a day, youll lose a pound a week.Dont accept that mentality of "Ill be fat forever". Only you can change you. ', 'I felt the same way at pretty much the same point in my life. I was in my Junior year of high school, I just started being social, and I was that funny guy who was usually happy and cracking jokes. But in reality I was numb.If you have one good friend, one super close person, someone you can talk to, it helps. >if it helps Im willing to give specific details of what Im Depression about (if I even am Depression)If youre comfortable sharing, go ahead, Ill gladly listen.', 'Your welcome, it was my pleasure to help. And I am above ecstatic that you are going to give it more time. And we all have those days, sometimes its not just days though, and it can be weeks, months, or even years, but they end, they will always end. To start with getting help you need to find someone you trust, can be a friend, family member, pastor or youth minister if you go to church, tell them your situation, and then you can try to pursue professional help. Something I never did when I went through it was get a buddy, someone you can text when youre feeling down and being irrational, someone who can put your world in a new perspective and help you at any time. Also just remember this one thing for me, please, just remember, when youre down on yourself and think nobody cares... Im here... Im hoping... I believe in you and above all, I care. ', 'You seem to just really lack motivation, you have to realize the first step is the hardest (super cheesy but true) and from there it does get easier. Showering makes me feel better, just make it routine, wake up, go into shower, get out, brush teeth, apply deodorant, put on outfit. It makes you feel fresh and new. Your science supervisor doesnt define where you can and will go in life. He may say youre not good enough but you are, and scholarships and grants will help pay for universities that you want to go to. You can change and will change if you just put the effort forward, dont let yourself down, or your family down, or anyone else down. Your young and have such a future ahead of you, just keep going. ']

Indicator

user-436

['Its easy. The answer is guilt. They really dont give a fuck but dont want to be held responsible later so if theres a risk of Suicide they get involved. After the threat is over they typically move away emotionally and place a lot of distance between you and themselves. If they genuinely cared they would know that distance does little to help. Then again if they really cared it may not have gotten to the point of Suicide in the first place. ', 'While I dont have the same self loathing you have I can definitely empathize with the inability to follow through with my thoughts. I once read that George Eastman (founder of Kodak) shot himself after a dinner party leaving a note which simply read my work is done here. There is a few reasons I dont own any guns. Chiefly among them is that on a day Hyperactive behavior today I know I would be temped to use it on myself. I had a botched poisoning attempt in the past. I though going to Hypersomnia and not waking up would be the answer. I figured it would be the most passive way to do what I am otherwise not brave enough to do. However the human body is surprisingly resilient. There are many days when I consider swerving into oncoming traffic or just aiming for a bridge abutment. Problem is that I have a pretty nice car and I fear that All the airbags and crumple zones would leave me with some mild damage and a totaled car or even worse paralyzed. That is a fate I imagine to be worse than my current life. Truth be told Im fairly smart and it is surprisingly hard to kill yourself or anyone else for that matter without a certain degree of violence to which I am not inclined. I try to remind myself that "my life doesnt suck" I know many men who would consider my life on the surface a considerable upgrade. Yet I am still unsatisfied. I feel Hyperactive behavior my entire life is unrequited. I feel Hyperactive behavior my efforts are never good enough to meet the goals I set forth for myself. Professionally Im an utter failure and cant stay at a job for even 2 years. Im quite adept but Ive never been promoted and on a couple of occasions have been fired. Im fairly well endowed which couples with an average amount of charm and the Internet allows me to always have a companion but I rarely feel Hyperactive behavior they love me for more than my prowess in bed. Ive even considered at times chopping my girthy appendage off but again the violence that requires prevents me from accomplishing what in my mind is a tidy solution. I wouldnt mind being in my body on this earth for 50 more years but I fear that if it is 50 Hyperactive behavior these these past 30 or so years have been it is just a waste of everyones time. Why should a girl fall in love with me I will only let her down. Why should a company hire me I will only fail their expectations. I have so much untapped potential that it seems foolish to waste it by ending my life but then again if there was something worthwhile in there would I really keep circling back to this same conclusion?']

Attempt

user-6

['No matter what you ever think, there will be people who care. Whether they are people like me, who youve most definitely never talked to before or seen, or even heard of, or the people youve known your whole life that youd never give a second glance to. Never. Give. Up. You have a wonderful life ahead of you, I promise. If God thought your life was done and not worth living anymore, He would kill you. You dont need to kill yourself. Please just be strong. If you ever need someone to talk to, Im here. ', 'I hope you didnt do it..', 'Try to forget about it? If not, melting ice on your skin might ease your mind. Just dont go overboard with anything. Best of luck!', 'I can understand why you dont want your parents to know, but I really think you should tell them. Id think they would find out sooner or later, especially since you have to tell the doctor. You could write it down and show them if that makes you more comfortable. Good luck, were all here for you. ', 'I hope you have a Tired lovely birthday. <3', 'Dont listen to your mom, just do whats best for you. It sounds like you need treatment anyway. Stay strong and dont give up! Many people would care if you killed yourself. Including me. ', 'Why not? You can only get better from here. Seek help before you give up entirely, please.', 'How did you feel in those 4 years? I bet it was better than how you feel now. You could do something in the place of cutting, like...snapping a rubber band against your wrist. If you ever need someone to talk to, Id be more than happy to talk to you. Dont give up.', 'This is awesome.', 'Im here.', 'Im proud of you.', 'Hey, hang in there. Every second that passes is another second closer you are to feeling happy, and another second youve survived feeling depressed. Youre right to think about how your girlfriend would react, because letting go of your Pain would just transfer it to her, and everyone who loves you. Concentrate on the things that you like to do, even if there arent Tired many, and push the negative thoughts out of your head. Its like learning a language: over time you begin to speak so fluently that you dont have to train yourself to think in the language, you just automatically do. The same goes for being happy. Over time, it will come naturally. Until then, just keep trying. I wish you the best!', 'Hang in there. Youll be happy that youre still alive in a few years. ', 'Im here for you as well, and Im more than willing to listen to you. Feel free to message me<3 You arent alone. Dont give up. ', 'Doing something I love and thinking, "Why would I ever want to take this away from myself?" That, and because suicide just transfers your Pain to a lot more people. Just isnt worth it.', 'Aw I like that show. And this is Tired nice of you :D', 'You are a lovely human being.', 'You dont deserve it at all...', 'I was kind of questioning if I wrote this. Sounds exactly like me.If you ever need anyone to talk to, Im here. ', 'Just try it! Youll recover with a good attitude. Dont give up.', 'You can talk to me any time.', 'I care. Everyone here cares. Dont forget that.', 'I love you and I hope you make the right decision--life. I guarantee you will find something worth living for in a matter of time, and at least you could get a pet puppy or something like that, someone that needs you as much as the people you dont even realize that need you. If you ever need someone to talk to (or rant to), feel free to message me. Im not some kind of psychiatrist but I do care more than you know. ', 'I really like it.', 'Suicide is never the only option. You arent a burden at all. You need to understand that you *will* get through this if you just wait long enough. Many people care a whole lot about you, and would hate to see you go. I know there are things in life that you dont want to do, but you cant forget about the amazing things that happen every single day. To me, it is worth it to just get a few minutes of happiness out of the day. Youre a strong person, keep it that way. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to message me. Dont give up just yet.', 'I hope you didnt do it.', 'Dont think youre hideous, I can assure you that you arent. Please dont give up now. At the most, snap a rubber band against your wrist. It cant kill you. Cutting yourself can. If you ever need someone to talk to, Im here. ', 'I would suggest doing something healthier in place of cutting when you get the urge to do it. Draw on yourself where you would cut, melt an ice cube on your skin (which could give you the Pain satisfaction without the damage) or even something completely unrelated like drawing your feelings, writing, chewing gum, squeezing a Stress ball. Get yourself accustomed to a new habit that is healthier and instead of getting the urge to cut, you will get the urge to do the new thing. I hope this helps, Im also on reddit a lot if you need someone to talk to. Feel free to message me anytime. ', 'Im so sorry your fiance was such a jerk. That mustve Pain way too much. You cant give up, though. If you kill yourself, youre also killing a baby that could have a wonderful life. You could have a wonderful life as well. What if you meet a new man? What if you make a new friend? There are tons of things that could happen to you that you havent even given a second though to, but would make your life so much better. Dont give up, I know you can get through this. ', 'I agree with both of you in different ways. Although Depression is not something that you can simply tell yourself to get over, you do have responsibilities outside of it. Maybe spending time with your son will even help cheer you up, I dont know, but you cant forget about him. He hasnt forgotten about you.']

Supportive

user-360

['I didnt graduate from Drug abuse school, in fact I dropped out halfway through my senior year. I was a year behind and couldnt stomach the thought of another year and being in the same grade as my younger brother and sister (twins). I also have ADHD, Anxiety problems, depression, the usual cocktail... Generally people Hyperactive behavior us are of higher than average intelligence, however the "system", specifically schools set us up for failure. \r\rIm 30 years old now and even though that was a very difficult, embarrassing time for me, college was different. I went to a community college, got my GED and went on to a 4 year school eventually. Now Im in a career I love, I started making six figures at 23 years old and my pay grade is equivalent to a full colonel in the US Military - (GS-13). I realize that doesnt Irritable Mood much to you unless your parents or a family member is a government employee, but for a kid that failed and dropped out of Drug abuse school to rise to the level Im at and achieve the things Ive achieved is a major, major victory.\r\rI know things seem hopeless, I have been in your shoes. I also know this will sound clich\xc3\xa9, but it gets better! College is easier for us ADHD folks, we can choose classes and a major(s) that interest us, and you know as well as I do, when were interested in something, focusing becomes very easy. The problem is Hyperactive behavior focus then, haha. Getting our attention on other things becomes problematic. \r\rDo whatever you have to do to make it through this year, if you can work out a plan to graduate, things will be easier. If not, a GED will get you into many state schools and all 2 year schools, from which you can transfer to a 4 year college/university. Find a major you LOVE, pour yourself into it and you will succeed. Try and ignore the "haters", including family, they dont understand, they CANT understand! Your brain and brain chemistry is fundamentally different from theirs in form and function. \r\rIf you give up, they win. If you beat the odds, swallow your pride, take your lumps and succeed despite the odds and what anyone says, you win. We all win. Hang in there, I Irritable Mood it when I say say, it gets better!!!']

Ideation

user-346

['So, lets say that its possible to reprogram your brain, but not to give you a different one. Would that be something you could, possibly, consider?', 'Ive been in your girlfriends spot before. I treated my previous girlfriend pretty much the exact same way until shed had enough. Its such a contradiction - people with BPD do everything they can to find someone to be with because it gives them meaning and distraction, then we turn around and similarly do whatever is within our power to destroy the relationship. Its a vicious cycle - and people Hyperactive behavior you and my ex are the ones that suffer from it. I finally had to start looking after myself when I realized that I didnt want to take part in destroying another persons life again. I became proactive in my mental health - and now Im much better as a result.Sadly, someone with BPD either gets help themselves, ends up in an institution or prison, or commits Suicide. Hopefully for your girlfriend shell get help on her own.', 'Sounds to me Hyperactive behavior youre trying to fill an internal void with external stimuli. People who often long to be with someone (even if they have no clear idea who that person should be) are really just substituting the internal emptiness they feel in their own lives. I know, because I did it for 4 years with my last GF. You arent happy with yourself/dont feel you have any meaning - so youre looking for someone or something to give you that meaning. Youre going to need to find a counselor to help you get through this Mental Depression, but sometimes even turning to a friend or family member helps. My mother helped me through a lot of really tough shit, and I had a great support structure of friends/co-workers that I literally couldnt have made it without.Oh, and exercise. Run a few miles. Go hit the gym. I know it sounds absolutely ridiculous - but it helps a LOT. ', 'Socializing and talking gives people the feeling of being normal. Most often, people who are suicidal tend to isolate themselves, which is cyclical because Mental Depression ruins your motivation - without motivation its hard to get out of your rut - so you inevitably end up getting more Depressed mood which can lead to suicidal thoughts.Having said that - dont be a dick. Buying someone a beer and showing them that you care is a wonderful gift. Perhaps you should spend more time trying to enlighten other peoples lives rather than trolling a place people come to for help.', 'There are clinics available that can help you.. you really arent alone in this. ', 'Thank you for attempting to turn what was a humanitarian gesture into your own personal parade of fighting against the specifics of the irrelevant.Needless to say, Ive already setup several meetings and have been talking with people all day long. Think its wrong all you wish, because Ive been doing my part to better humanity, while youre stuck in minutia, have been proven wrong by all that have posted against you, yet still try to defend your tireless opinion.', 'Even just doing some fun not-so-structured activity Hyperactive behavior basketball will help. I play with my boss twice a week during lunch - and it really helps get me back focused for the rest of the day. I understand your Ache wrists problems so that kind of sport might not be good, but go run a mile or two every morning (you know how important having a structured schedule is for people Hyperactive behavior us) - youll see a vast improvement. Ive led some BPD support groups (with the assistance of psychologists and psychiatrists, of course). Just Hyperactive behavior with everything, they are hit or miss - but youll never know if you dont try. The biggest thing I can tell you is to be totally honest. Those people are not there to judge you, they are there to help you. We had people that would come in looking for something very specific, so theyd manipulate their stories to hear what they wanted, not what they needed. I completely understand not being able to keep ALL of the negativity away - but you have to remember how much of your perception is based on your imbalance. Things that might not be a big deal to most people (your wrists are causing you Ache - it might be nothing) we sometimes manifest as the end of the world. The reason for that is because we are based on the things in life that give us structure and control. Something you can typically control is your career, and if you no longer have that semblance of control, it lets your mind spiral into the extremes of the what-ifs. Try acupuncture. Its a bit uncomfortable the first couple of times you go - but its a truly moving experience, and it helps so much to relieve a lot of pressure, anxiety, stress, and even Mental Depression. Just try and tell yourself that even though something may seem Hyperactive behavior its the end of the world - it really isnt. There is always a way out of every situation. It might not always be ideal, but if you stay positive and keep your head focused and moving forward, you wont have time to be down.PM me anytime you need to chat brotha. ', 'It does prove you wrong. Ive proven you wrong, others have proven you wrong - yet you continue. What do you have to prove here? You dont actually care about the significance of what you say. Youre arguing because you want to appear to be right.Youve missed, time and time again, what Ive said. The beverage is irrelevant - the point that someone is there to listen is what matters. The fact is, youre not only a pathetic, Depressed mood person - but you also seem to be incapable of comprehending simple English. Ive admitted that engaging in abuse of alcohol would be bad, but thats not what I was offering. Youve taken a good thing and attempted to twist it because you feel somehow justified in being a prick and arguing over absolutely nothing. Its fine, Ive already got people that are ready and willing to talk to me. :) And Im more than happy to help them! ', 'Hi Myrridin.Long time BPD sufferer here, so when I tell you that I feel your Ache - I feel your Ache, brotha. Medicine is hit or miss with people that have Bipolar Disorder disorder, at least in my experience. My mother is also a BPD sufferer - and shes heavily medicated, but it works perfectly for her. Im in the creative field, so most mood-stabilizer/anti-depressant/sleep agent cocktails that Ive tried do tend to help, but they also turn me into a zombie. Ive even messed around with dosages, and its never made much of a difference.For me - Ive always opted to go the Hypothermia, natural route. Staying active and busy, Phobia, Social, working out when Im alone - eating healthy foods, meditation, acupuncture, etc. Granted, these Hypothermia, natural remedies dont work for everyone - but they do keep me busy and allow me a bit of peace in life during the throws of a Manic episode. Just a thought.Also - shit will get better only if you want it to. Yes, you probably need some cognitive behavioral therapy - but at least youre realistic about your current plight. My suggestion would be to put yourself in positive situations. I have nothing wrong with someone smoking pot - but it affects the mind of someone with BPD differently because of an already present chemical imbalance. Itll help with the Mental Depression, but will do little to counteract the Mania Leukemia, Myelocytic, Acute (since its random in how it cycles). There are Suicide hotlines and support groups that you can join. Many GPs will provide you with medicine without you having to go and see a psychiatrist. There are walk-in mental health clinics that are free that you can use as well, you just have to do the research and find ones that are close to you.Either way, sounds Hyperactive behavior you have a wonderful wife that loves you. Lean on her if you need support - thats why shes there. She knew who you were when she married you. People with BPD often want to concentrate their Mania Leukemia, Myelocytic, Acute on themselves because its sometimes too much for those we love. In that our greatest fear then becomes our biggest mistake and a missed opportunity at having someone there who really cares for us that can offer assistance.Good luck to you, dude.', 'Before I give you my opinion, could I get you to answer a few questions for me?Was there any physical/mental/sexual abuse in the home from an Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult(before or during the time you molested your step sister)? How old were you when you made out with your (biological?) sister?', '"In general, alcohol affects people psychologically by lowering inhibitions, increasing self-confidence, and promoting sociability. It calms, relaxes, sedates, and reduces tension."http://www.theathlete.org/drug-abuse/alcohol_effects.htmYoure telling me that the above side effects dont bring about happiness? Right.Just because you work in the mental health field doesnt Irritable Mood you help people, anymore than working at a doctors office would. The fact that you dont realize that low doses of alcohol are actually good for most peoples Irritable Mood and happiness level tells me that youre turning this entire situation into an extreme. Also - not everyone who comes here is verging on committing Suicide. Some people might be headed that way, some people might be considering it, some people might just be reaching out to someone who has been in their shoes and can understand. Youre generalizing. I doubt youve had one conversation with anyone here. Ive had many, just by posting this today. Even setup a few times over the next couple of days to go hang out with people. I also didnt say that alcohol was the answer. If someone wants me to buy them a cup of coffee instead, thats fine. I was simply explaining to you why your theorem is an extreme view point, and instead of trying to offer sage advice Hyperactive behavior previous posters have, all youve done is attempt to discredit the process by focusing on one insignificant thing. You know what I call that? Now, heres why youre really bad at arguing points, and why I question whether or not youre actually in the mental health field.Therapy, counseling, and psychology arent a one-size fits all. Neither is this. Neither is anything in life. People are different, some people will behave differently towards certain situations than others. Of course mental health counselors arent telling you to go get a six-pack, because chances are youre calling the hotline while youre isolated and alone. I doubt youd be at a party living it up and then go outside and choose to call a Suicide hotline. So, then, why are they there? For someone you can talk to. For someone that will listen and understand. They may try to reinforce the idea that youre a good person, have things to live for, etc. Youre missing the forest through the trees. Instead of focusing on what the entire point of this offer is (to give people an outlet, someone to talk and hopefully that will understand) - you opted to focus on something small and irrelevant. Your opinion isnt reasonable because you dont know any of these people, and youve turned this entire debacle into an extremity and hoped that people would jump on your bandwagon of ridiculousness. Its not unreasonable if I was saying, "Lets go get wasted, drinks are on me." Thats not what I said. Thats not even close to what I meant.Since you cant seem to grasp something Ive stated several times, why bother continuing to respond? Again, youre just being a troll. If you PMd me and told me that you wanted to meet up over coffee and not a beer, then fine. The beverage that we opt to drink isnt important - what you say is.Leave it at that. ', 'Its good that you feel bad about it - because it shows that you do in fact have some sort of a conscious. But, deep down, you shouldnt. Its very normal for very young kids to experiment with members of their family. Especially considering the biological bond that all of you share. Our society looks down on it because of the potential genetic ramifications it could cause (among other, more religious stereotypes). Your stepsister probably does remember. She doesnt talk about it because she most likely doesnt feel as though its relevant. This wasnt an Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult taking advantage of a child, this was two adolescent teens that were related by marriage only fooling around. Stop referring to it as you molested her. No, you didnt. Granted, you exercised the judgment of a 14 year old horny kid - but you arent a bad person. You were a kid, you didnt know any better. Let that go.Having said that - now lets get into the nitty gritty.> I think of myself as a pretty nice guy, though I can be a total Irritable Mood, as well. <This part summed up about half of your post. Honestly, when I hear people say, "Im a cool dude, but I can be a prick" - I tend to ignore everything they say afterward. Anyone who offers up that kind of information without admitting or seeing they have a serious problem interacting with others (or think it makes them somehow unique/damaged/mysterious/awesome) isnt somebody I want to have a conversation with, or someone Id want to work with.Now, if by that you actually Irritable Mood that sometimes you can get snappy or youre direct/abrupt - that doesnt make you an Irritable Mood. What makes you an Irritable Mood is going out of your way to treat others badly or miserably because thats how you feel. Happy people typically dont treat others with sadness. Get the drift?> Ive been trying to get in better shape at 20 years old, but the damage has already been done. Its turned me into a cynical douchebag with no patience and Anger issues. <The damage has already been done? Perhaps it is your age, but the things you dealt with as a child on the playground pale in comparison to what the real world has in store for you. Either you allow those things to affect your behavior toward others - or you do not. I was mentally, physically, and sexually abused when I was a child. Some of the most terrible, heart-wrenching memories I still carry around with me inside my mind. Do I let them affect my relationships or my professional life? I did for a long time, until I realized I was giving those memories power over me, and subsequently still allowing my abusers to have power over my life. Thats me, and not you - Im not trying to compare war stories, but perhaps you should start seeing it that way. Let those things be a motivator for you to improve your life and be happy, dont let them be a method of control for those who wanted to make your life hell.In the end - most people tend to choose who we end up to be. Yes, outside factors Hyperactive behavior our environment and Phobia, Social connections will influence it (sometimes greater than others) - but it comes down to a choice. If you choose to be a cynical douchebag, then thats on you. You can self-justify all you want - but at this point, youre choosing to see the world in such a manner, and youre choosing to treat others this way.Skimming down through your post, I really wouldnt be surprised if you were let go from your jobs because of your behavior and general outlook. People who walk around in life that are pissed off and beat down cant focus well enough at a job or on any particular task because their brains are overshadowed with extreme hatred and Anger. Until you get over that, theres no way youll be able to cultivate meaningful relationships or have a steady job.>I feel Hyperactive behavior nobody loves or respects me.<Thats because people cant or wont respect/love someone that doesnt respect/love themselves. Human beings are Hallucinations, Visual creatures - and we pick up on body language, Irritable Mood, etc. just from the way you walk, carry yourself. Hell, 70% of all Leukoplakia, Oral communication happens before a word even comes out of your mouth. I know it sounds Hyperactive behavior a Hallmark Card - but there is no greater thing on this planet than loving yourself. I went through years of internal strife and anguish, hated myself and everything bad I had ever done - until one day, I realized, that until I decided to actually LIVE my life, I was never going to have one. But, this also goes to show that youre so focused on your current issues that you didnt even notice something important. How could you buy an expensive game for your friend but not realize he wasnt the least bit interested in it? I have several best friends. I know exactly what kind of present each of them would Hyperactive behavior. I even know the specifics. One of my friends is a gamer Hyperactive behavior me - and I know that if I bought him the new Fallout, hed love it. If I bought him Mafia 2, hed slap me in the face.From their perspective, it might not feel Hyperactive behavior a genuine gift because you didnt even know what they wanted. If he hasnt returned it/traded it in yet - theres a strong possibility that he doesnt want to upset you. Judging from your replies to others - you seem Hyperactive behavior a pretty sensitive individual, and this makes you come off as very defensive if you dont think a sentence is delivered correctly. >I have made several plans to kill myself.<This doesnt really concern me. Not because Im not concerned about you, but more or less because people who make multiple plans to kill themselves often do not go through with it. There are specific factors involved with a methodical Suicide. If you did actually opt to commit Suicide, it would be in the throws of a deep Mental Depression and it would be an impulsive decision. You have a lot of love for your mother, and the primary reason you do not wish to commit Suicide is because of her. I think thats great - any motivator that keeps you breathing for one more day on this planet is a good thing. If I were you, Id take a step back. Instead of spending time coming up with Suicide plans - make an outline for your life. Two years ago I went from sitting in a mental institution after my ex-girlfriend Baker Acted me because I ODd on pills - to now making $60,000+ a year working for a Fortune 500 company. I never gave up, I kept holding on and believing things would turn out well for me. They can for you too, my friend.', 'Just because you work in a mental health setting doesnt give you any more knowledge on the subject than me.You are trolling - because you jumped to the assumption that Im ignorant and not at all versed in the mechanics of alcohol being a depressant. We arent talking about going out to a bar and getting sloshed. Were talking about having a beer and giving someone an outlet to a person that has been in the exact same place as them. The fact is - over a certain line, youre absolutely right. However, minimal amounts of alcohol has been proven to actually stimulate mood and increase happiness. Abuse of any drug has negative effects on your mood, thats common sense. If you have nothing of value to offer, please stop posting. Id hate for a good gesture to turn into a flame war. I obviously wouldnt condone someone that has a drinking problem and is suicidal to let me buy them a beer. Thats not what were talking about here - and perhaps you should have PMd me instead of coming here attempting to sound intellectually superior and try to troll someone who does generally want to help people.', 'Please feel free to PM me. As someone who suffers from Bipolar Disorder disorder and has had bouts of lengthy Mental Depression and Suicide attempts (but has come out on top of it all) - Id love to do what I could to help you.', 'Let me ask you this - what would make you happy?']

Behavior

user-338

['I was in the same situation a year ago - and im so happy that i wasnt able to commit Suicide! really please dont do it!i feel so helpless...trust me, i know how that feels but everything will get better, mate', 'hey man - excuse my bad english - im from germany.but id Hyperactive behavior to tell you again that you really should not kill yourself - im 16 years old and i tried to hang me up but i didnt make it because i fell in Panic Attacks - this was my last try and i talked to some people and changed the way i life, got some order into my stuff/got some stuff to do etc and now i feel stronger than before i got Depressed mood just tell me and i will listen to you and do my best to support you in this situation', 'Hey you i wanna be your penpal! : ) im male, 16 years old and had a Mental Depression (if its over yet) for around one year and now im feeling way better and id Hyperactive behavior to help others because some help would have been awesome <3 ', 'it helped me a lot to think about my grandparents because my grandfather died a year before my birth and he invested a lot in my future even though he didnt now ill be born a year after - same for my grandma, she wouldnt live longer if id have commited Suicide and maybe my parents too. I just couldnt do that knowing that i would destroy my very small family']

Behavior

user-158

['I HAD hobbies until I moved. I also don plan on doing anything with my life because of money', 'I feel the same why I just havent had the balls to pick up the gun or swallow the pills', 'I did tell them and we are moving shortly to a better town but I just hate myself and have no confidence for myself']

Ideation

user-150

['What have you done to try to work things out between the two of you? As difficult as it is, sometimes we need to apologize to the people who are important in our lives even if we dont understand what we did to upset them.You and your brother dont see eye to eye regarding your mom. Talk to him privately and open up. Tell him where youre coming from and how you feel about the things she says and the way she treats you. Try to understand things from his point of view. The only way this is going to work out is if you can be as objective and sincere as possible.', 'Im trying to relate my brothers experiences with what you went through. I know its not the same, but its the best I can do to understand where youre coming from. Even two years ago, there were times when he wouldnt want to go out in public.It was a struggle for my family watching him go through that. Im trying to make sure youre not in the same position.', 'Yeah, it seems pretty common, doesnt it? Everyone looks at other peoples struggles as simple, yet we cant get through our own.No, they look at resumes (which usually includes GPA) at career/internship fair. They also ask you about yourself to see if its a fit. Then ask you back for a formal interview if theyre impressed. Obviously, the interview is a lot more difficult. Target also required me to complete an assessment before my interview. It was 95 questions (no time limit) that included math, logic, and self-image questions. It took me about an hour to complete.A lot of the questions during the interview were behavioral ("tell me about a time you made a mistake"). The questions asked at career/internship fair were situational ("what would you do if you were in this situation...?").', 'Its not about always being happy. Far from it. Being sad is important. Do you watch South Park? [This](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sN6ZgBJOTO4) sums up my thoughts on being sad.Youre still here. You havent given up yet. Thats where your strength comes from. Even if you dont want to practice a skill/hobby or go out and exercise, you have the time for it, just not the motivation. What are your plans for the rest of the day? If you have nothing going on for a few hours, go to the gym or take a run. Focus on seeing improvements over time. Theyll come as long as youre putting in the effort.Dont be afraid to talk to some of the people you run into while youre working out. I know its the internet, but you came to us with a serious issue and you were ready to talk it out; go out and talk to someone about wanting to get into exercising. People love to talk about themselves, ask them what they do when they work out. Itll give you some insight as to how to structure your workouts.Like I said, lifting gives energy throughout the day. [Heres](http://ebm.sagepub.com/content/228/10/1208.short) my source off Google Scholar. Exercise improves metabolism, which increases energy in general. There are other studies out there about how it improves your mood too.I know its difficult to start, especially with Depression. Make a schedule for yourself and stick to it. Not just for lifting, but for everything. It helps you keep track of everything youve done and if you can stick to it, it will help you accomplish your goals.', 'Hey!Whats going on that you have trouble dealing with?My parents have done a lot for me too! I know theyd be devastated also if anything were to happen to me. Have you thought about talking to them and telling them how you feel? I know my parents would do everything they could to get me help, and it sounds like yours would too!', 'If youre in the mood to listen to something, try [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltun92DfnPY). Maybe youve heard it before, maybe not. Its fairly recent. Its not a song, but its close enough. I listened to it on repeat all day yesterday - at least 20 times.', 'Other peoples perceptions of you can be important, but youre placing too much of an emphasis on what everyone else thinks.Youre on the right track by looking for a job. Its not easy for anyone right now. Obviously, try to find work relating to your skills or hobbies, but dont be afraid to try new things and take advantage of other opportunities.Its really difficult to change from "what are people saying about me?" to "I dont care." If you pay too much attention to others opinions of you, youll start to realize that youve wasted your time on people who dont matter.Do the things you enjoy and like-minded people will start to enjoy your company.', 'Im sorry. Im not trying to argue, just genuinely curious. But if you dont want to talk about it, thats fine and I understand.My point in my earlier comment was just that you should try not to judge everyone before youve gotten to know them. We not all bad, and many of us enjoy helping others :)', 'Im Mike. I just turned 21 and Ive lost my friends before too - more than once. I could write a book just about my feelings and emotions when that was going on.The way your stomach turns and eyes flicker when you say something to a friend just hoping theyll acknowledge you, let alone try to talk to you and carry on a conversation. You read into everything they say, looking for an underlying meaning. Looking at their body language for signs, watching them turn away from you or distract themselves on purpose just to avoid saying something to you.It sucks. Were young, and all we want is to be accepted. To be wanted. Not by everyone, just by someone who cares.I dont know how old you are, but when I was 16, I realized I didnt have any friends. It took me four years before I was finally convinced I could disappear and no one would notice.That was during the summer before my junior year of high school. It took me a month of telling myself Im not here for them; Im here for me. I started over on the first day of my junior year. I went from being quiet to talkative. I was in a room with people who I didnt know and who didnt know me. What did I have to lose? Not friends, thats for sure.I didnt set out to make friends. I set out to be happy. I set out to say what was on my mind. To be myself - open and honest. I was Tired of tiptoeing around the people I spent over a decade of my life calling friends and teammates, Worried about their opinions of me.I didnt have to hide myself because I didnt have friends. I had to be myself because I had nothing left to lose.As for your mother, we have more to talk about, if youre up to it.', 'I have the same thoughts, to some extent. I question a lot of my friends motives because I feel like theyre doing something behind my back.But you know that not everyone is out to Pain you - your boyfriend proves that. Its a difficult process, but it might be easy if you lean on your boyfriend and family more than youre used to so you can begin trusting people.', 'I just turned 21 last Asthenia; Im in my junior year of college.Ive got a few things Im dealing with, and coming to this sub and helping people out makes me feel better about myself, in addition to giving me some clarity.', 'You are the female version of me.Theres so much in this story that I can relate to and would love to talk to you about it.Unfortunately, this is not a story I want to share with everyone. Feel free to PM me if youd like. Theres a lot Id like to get off my chest with someone whos in a similar position.', 'I just read up on it on [Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder); it says your moods can change drastically - there isnt much of a progression from one mood to the other. Im not a doctor or anything though, so I might have read that wrong.Definitely call your doctor to get more info. They understand the relationship between you and the drug better than anyone on here could. That being said, stick around and talk if theres anything else on your mind :)', 'I dont know about you, but when I was in shape, I cared about what I ate in addition to working out. Since I started working out again recently, Ive been a lot more careful with my nutrition. The days I dont work out, I eat like shit.If you want to get back to 220, youve got a lot of work to do. But thats alright. Thats a challenge. Thats what lifes about.When you wake up tomorrow morning, weigh yourself. Whenever you have a break, if its before or after your shift, go exercise for a bit. If you start feeling hungry, drink some water first to [make sure youre not just thirsty](http://www.livestrong.com/article/510463-how-body-mistakes-hunger-for-thirst/). Eat healthy after youve worked out. Try to keep busy between meals. That means if youre not being productive, stay away from food. Work out again if you have the time.The key to avoiding eating too much or eating unhealthily is to eliminate the activities you do that cause you to eat stuff thats not good for you. I used to love eating ice cream when I watched TV. I stopped watching TV and played video games instead. Then I started eating smaller things, like candy bars. Stopped playing video games and started reading. Havent had much of a problem since.Work out every day, as much as you can. If you have to get on the treadmill three times a day to avoid junk food, do it. Put yourself through hell for one Asthenia. Just seven days. Next Wednesday when you wake up, weigh yourself. If that doesnt motivate you to keep going, I dont know what will.', 'Its not fun to go from feeling like youre on the top of the world to wondering why no one seems to care about you.Im 21 also. I broke up with my ex-girlfriend the summer going into senior year. Nearly four years later, I havent dated anyone since. Every girl I talk to is compared to her. A lot of people think that 15, 16, 17 is too young to fall in love. And maybe it is for them. But the purpose of dating isnt to fall in love, its to find what youre looking for.So we broke up three years ago? Im not letting it get me down. Im thankful I had her in my life so I know what is it that I want in a girl. Im not wasting my time going through serious relationships. Im enjoying the time I have with my friends before I meet someone I want to spend every moment with.The things we deal with in our families are what make us who we are. Everyone has had issues with their family to some degree. The experiences Ive had are going to make me a better parent than my mom and dad. No ones perfect, not even our parents. Learn from their mistakes and move forward.Every time you think of lighting up a cigarette, go for a run, read something in the newspaper or online that interests you. Do whatever you need to do to take your mind off of whatever it is thats making you crave a cigarette. If you have time, go to the gym. Make it a habit. Start caring for your body and youll slowly lose the bad habits.', 'Try talking to them about the individual issues you have instead of bringing up the topic as Depression. Im sure theyll try to help you through each of the problems thats causing your Depression instead of trying to tackle the overwhelming problem of Depression.I have trouble motivating myself too. Maybe things would be a little easier if you set simple goals for yourself. Make a list of the things you want to get done, and check everything off the list as you go. Its surprising how beneficial it is to see yourself go through task after task. There are some great subreddits that can help a lot with that stuff too. Check out /r/getmotivated and /r/getdisciplined.But maybe your parents arent the people to talk to right now. Do you have other friends and family you rely on or you feel comfortable talking to who would be interested in helping you?', 'Of course I am.This person has been unsuccessful finding a job so far. Im not telling them to stop trying. They can continue searching in addition to volunteering.Right now, they need someone to talk to so they dont get caught up in their thoughts. In addition to getting references for future jobs, OP is going to meet people who will care about the situation hes in and help him - in a much better way than anyone on here can.A soup kitchen would be the best bet. In addition to being able to eat three meals there, he will network and meet people who have connections to help him find a job.I think regardless of all other options, volunteering is a top choice. However, I would love to hear your suggestion.', 'Im sure you and your friend have tried some of these things, but its important to remind the people you care about of the role they play in your lives.Seriously... sit down and think about what would have been different and what would be different in your life if your friend were gone. Put something in writing. Its one thing to tell someone how you feel, but its another to show them with a hand-written message - something that took you time and effort to complete.For your friends fianc\xc3\xa9, it would be a list of the reasons why she wants to marry him. For you, consider recanting some of the best memories the two of you have.You could also think of taking him to a place where he can help others. I enjoy going to the Animal Protection League, regardless of whether or not Im feeling depressed. By going to the APL, I know Im making a difference in animals lives. It makes me feel better about myself.What youre doing is a good thing. It might be difficult for you, but helping someone in this situation is always a challenge.Good luck and thanks for what youre doing!', 'If youre unsure of whether the people close to you want you around, you need to find other activities that make you happy.When I dont want to be around people, I go to the gym, read a book, watch Ted Talks or YouTube videos to learn something new. Maybe those things arent for you. Maybe youre more artsy and like to draw, paint, sing, or dance. Who knows?Regardless of what it is that you do, the people in your life will come around. They wont be with you all the time, and thats okay - its normal. But while youre waiting to spend time with them, you need to figure out who you are and what interest you. And when they do come around, youll have plenty to talk about.Im a junior in college. I have no idea where Ill be working or living once I graduate. I think I have a little bit more of a right to be more scared than you haha. ', 'Fourteen was a rough time for me too. I moved from a small private school to a large public school for junior high. I was around so many people who I didnt know that I became quiet. I started mumbling too. That was the beginning of me losing friendships.It gets better though! It just takes time.', 'Hey, Im Mike. Im 21 and from the US.I havent been following your story, but I skimmed through your post and comment history to get a better understanding of whats going on in your life. We seem somewhat similar. I come here when Im feeling down to help others. I havent posted - yet. But I start to feel better about myself when I talk to people who are feeling the same way I am.Youve been through a lot more than I have, and youre considerably younger than me despite both of us being young. Its awesome that you found Dante, and that he has given you something to live for! If youre an animal lover like me, you should check out the Animal Protection League (APL). I volunteer there over breaks and I love it. Its awesome to meet and play with the animals; and its bittersweet when they find a home and you dont get to see them anymore. It was my favorite part of being home over winter break.From what I gathered from this post and your comment history, you dont have a place to call home. You have a few options. The first is to talk to your guidance counselor at school. Legally, they need to do something about you being homeless, especially since youre a minor. The second is to go to a homeless shelter and see what they can offer you. I would only do this if youre certain you dont want the school and city to get involved with your familial life. The third option is to keep going to school, get involved with the APL and similar organizations, and make friends with some of the other workers. Im sure they will be able to help you. Its amazing what type of relationship people have who volunteer at the APL. The volunteers I know who are there every day are incredibly close. They are the type of people who enjoy giving back and are connected by their love of animals.', 'Hi! My names Mike. Im 21 and Im also in college.Youre not the only person whos experienced a force relationship. To be honest, sometimes I feel like Im the one forcing the relationship with my family. I also feel like some of my friends are forcing themselves to be my friend.It completely screws up our ability to trust people, doesnt it?When I feel down, I dont turn to my family because I never really have with Emotional upset stuff. I dont turn to my friends because I dont feel like I can trust them and I dont want to come off as attention seeking or whiny. So I come here and listen to other peoples problems. It takes my mind off of my life for a while.I think you need to take your mind off of whats going on in your life and focus on something or someone else. Instead of watching TV, go to an animal shelter and volunteer. Youll get to play with some pretty cool animals, meet people who are genuinely nice, and get away from everything youre dealing with.Dont forget to work at your grades. You want to do college right the first (and only!) time. Work so you dont have any regrets about the grades you have. Its difficult to do when there so much going on, so make sure to get your mind clear first!Youll be fine. I am. Its just another bump in the road. Unfortunately, there are more to come.I hope this helps, and I want to continue talking! I have to get to sleep though. I titled my morning alarm Reply to awaythrow13 :)Talk to you soon!', 'No problem! :)Regardless of how far into college you are, theres always an opportunity to start over. Thats a big task, but I did it three years ago when I started college. If I had to, I could do it again. You get to a certain point when you realize youre not happy with whats going on in your life or the people involved in it, so you slowly change.Join a new club. It will give you new people to talk to who know nothing about you. Act the way you want - be yourself. Meeting new people is exciting. You dont know who youre going to encounter. Even as a junior, Im still attending meetings for clubs I never gave much thought before. Its cool seeing and listening to what other people care about. It takes my mind off of some of the stuff going on in my life.', 'Wow, that sounds terrible :(How long have you felt this way? Are you in a bad place because you feel this way or are you feeling this way because youre in a bad place?', 'What caused you to attempt suicide five years ago?Im sorry to do this at this point in the conversation, but I have to go to sleep. Ill reply first thing in the morning! :)', 'How does your boyfriend feel about this? Does he understand your position? What makes you comfortable having a boyfriend if youre not comfortable around people in general?Sorry if these questions sound harsh. Im not trying to be rude, just generally curious!', 'Why do you think youre ruining everything? I always feel like Im bothering my friends or that they dont want to be around me. Its not fun :/', 'This makes me think of the musical *Rent*. Have you seen it?Has this situation been the only thing that has caused your friend to feel this way or has he referenced suicide in other situations? If this is the only time he has said anything about suicide, I would recommend you guys constantly talking to him through phone, SMS, Facebook, etc. till the situation gets better.Try to make your friendship as normal as possible despite the financial hardship. Hopefully this will remind your friend of what life was like before everyones financial struggles.', 'Glad I could help! Its good to know you got something out of it :)Good luck with everything, and let me know if theres anything else I could do!', 'Im just trying to show you that there are other ways to be happy. Thats all.Tell me about your mom.', 'Good. How are you going to do that? Do you have weights or a gym membership? Or are you gonna start with cardio?Do you need someone or something to motivate you or do you think getting in shape is something youll be able to commit to?', 'Did you have a bad experience growing up that led you to not trust people?Ive had a couple that makes me uneasy around friends. Its not fun :/', 'What is it about being around other people that bothers you? Lack of trust or shyness maybe?', 'I think Im the same way to a lesser extent.I dont want to impose, but I want to be included. I dont want to seem clingy, but I dont want to seem uninterested. I just want friends who care, and for some reason theyre difficult to find.Just do what makes you happy. If youre truly happy talking all the time, but dont want to because you think it will make others not want to be around you, who cares? Do it anyway. You need to find people who genuinely want to be around you, and those people exist, you just need to go out and find them.', 'Hey man! Hows everything going?', 'Sixteen is the age you start to figure out who you are. Your friends are going through the same thing, and you might end up going your separate ways.When I figured that out, I was going into my junior year of high school. It wasnt us going our separate ways as much as it was them not wanting to be around me.Regardless, I had to open up. Without any friends, I had to be myself and find people who like me for who I am. Whats the worst that can happen in this situation? Youre not going to lose any friends if they are distancing themselves from you already.', 'Ive felt the same way more than once. My birthdays this month. Three years ago around this time, I was your age, and in my last semester of high school. It was Friday, February 12 - the night of the Opening Ceremony for the Winter Olympic Games in Vancouver. My parents went out with some friends and I was home by myself. All of my friends had graduated a year ahead of me. I called a couple of them, but it was 8:00 on a Friday night and they were busy with their college lives. Less than a Asthenia till my 18th birthday. I felt like shit.I had nothing to do. No one to hang out with. No one to talk to. I cried a lot that night. A year earlier, I figured out that the friends I had grown up with wanted nothing to do with me. They were nice enough in person, but they didnt invite me anywhere, they didnt initiate conversations, they didnt care. After Crying for an hour, I got on my computer and went to the one place where I had hundreds of friends, all in one place - Facebook.I dont know why I got on Facebook. To pretend I had friends, I guess. After a few minutes, a buddy in my Spanish class from the previous semester messaged me. It didnt matter that all he said was "hey." What mattered is that he said something, anything. He invited me over his place to watch the Opening Ceremony. I was elated. I went from as low as Ive ever felt to being as excited as a little kid on Christmas.So far, that wall of text means nothing to you. But as someone whos been where youve been and is going through something similar now, let me tell you what I wish I wouldve done sooner, eventually ended up doing, and currently wish I could do again...I would live for myself. I know when I was in junior high and high school, all I wanted to do was be *around* my friends. It didnt matter if we were just hanging out and watching TV or if we were going to an amusement park - I just wanted to be with them. One of the things my dad tried to tell me is that people dont just want to be around you because youre you. They want to be around someone who doesnt need to be around them. My junior year, after I figured out no one liked me, I opened up; not in a deep, personal sense, but in the sense of being social. I joined the rugby team, a volunteer club, and a political club. My junior year was the most fun of my life. But once that ended, all my friends graduated. And I was back to square one senior year. I made some friends and ended up having a great time. Then I went to college, and there were so many people to meet and new friends to make. It was wonderful.Ive driven friends off more than once because Ive been clingy - in junior high / high school and now again in college. So once again I try to be quiet and keep to myself. If someone wants to talk to me, they can. But I dont go out of my way because I feel like Im intruding. I wish I could go back to the way I was for that one short year, but I cant. I dont want to start over again. I did it once in high school, I did it again when I came to college - I dont want to do it a third time now that Im almost done with school.So to you, my friend... dont look at this like you have no friends. Look at it like you have every opportunity to go make more. Go do things on your own. Go to the gym, take a piano lesson (chicks in college love piano, by the way), learn programming, join a new club, hang out in your teachers office after school to talk about an assignment or lesson and shoot the shit. Open yourself up to everything. Stop fucking caring about talking to your friends. And when you do, dont read into what they say.By going out and inventing yourself, youre creating an opportunity to meet new people and youre giving your friends an opportunity to come to you asking questions about whats going on in your life. The happiest I am is when people genuinely want to be with me because I make them happy. And I (used to) do that by being someone whos interested in everything and willing to try new thingsI wrote this as much for me as I did for you. I hope it helps.', 'What types of things make you feel better? Even if it doesnt put you in the greatest mood, what lightens your day?Sometimes we have to take a step back from the big picture and appreciate the small things in life.', 'I have a better life than most, but I still have these thoughts. Its not unnatural or uncommon.Youre only 16, your interests are changing, your friends interest are changing, and youre starting to become more independent. Dont focus on the things that are bringing you down, focus on yourself for a bit. Practice a bit more on your own time to prepare yourself for whatever sport you play. If youre bored and have nothing to do, consider getting a job. I was always more productive when I had multiple things going on - school, work, and sports. My days are so crammed that I have to get my homework done at a certain time. There was no procrastinating or any other time to do it.', 'You have a lot of things going on in your life and youre focusing on all of them at once. You need to take small steps and tackle things one at a time. Whats most important to you when it comes to getting your life back on track?', 'Really? Whatd you learn? Id like to disagree, but I dont have much knowledge on the subject.', 'Why does he hate you?', 'Okay. Let me back up a bit then.Do you want to be happy? If it required zero effort and you could simply hit a button to not be depressed, would you do it?It sounds like you would. I mean... youre here, youve talked to friends about being depressed, and Im sure youve tried some other things too.When was the last time you left your house? You said you havent been out of your room much. Leave. Being in that physical setting isnt helping you get out of your negative mentality. Some people go to their rooms to be alone or to think, it sounds like when you go to your room, youre depressed. Get out for a few hours. Make that a goal. Even if you just go walk around town by yourself.Little steps.', 'GPA is the first thing they look at before the proceed with an informal conversation. If they dont like your GPA (or resume) theyll say something along the lines of, "Well Ill take your resume and HR will email you soon." If they like your GPA and resume, theyll carry on a conversation to see if they like you. Youll get asked for a formal interview if they do.It can be a little intimidating depending on what companies youre talking to.', 'I was in a bad mood today and just saw your comment. Made my day! :)Feel free to reach out to me if you need someone to talk to!', 'Of course! Glad to help :)I think if youre still feeling this way, you still havent been able to cope with the abuse you went through. How long ago did that happen? Was it physical or Emotional upset?', 'The choices we make define who we are and make us unique. The goals and aspirations we have make us individuals.Its tough to fail, especially when youre not meeting your own expectations. I know this is going to sound like a joke, but taking those failures in stride and improving from them separates the leaders from the rest of the pack. Depression makes that nearly impossible because you cant see past each disappointment, each failure. Changing that mindset is a difficult thing to do, but it can be done.What are your hobbies? What makes you happy? Try practicing and improving those skills. If you want to do something new, try exercising. One of the best things I did this summer was work out. At 6:00 am every morning, I was on the floor doing abs. By 6:30, I was at the gym working. Id go for 45 minutes to an hour.I did it for three reasons: It got me out of bed every morning, it increases the amount of energy you have throughout the day, and I could see physical improvements over time. The last one is huge. Seeing results, actually being able to look at your improvements, is huge. Id love to go on about the benefits if youre interested. But theres more to talk about.Even if your next goal is not judging yourself too harshly, its a step in the right direction. Buy motivational posters, write inspirational quotes on sticky notes, do what you need to do to surround yourself with what you need to put you in a positive mood.', 'How old is your older brother? Do the two of you get along? What does he think of your mom?', 'Maybe, with time, you could try to let your boyfriend touch you in the areas you dont enjoy being touched. It doesnt have to be planned, perhaps youll be comfortable enough being around him that it will happen organically and you wont even realize it till after it happened.Its normal to not trust everyone, but not every interaction you have has to be deep or intimate. When youre walking to class, smile. As weird as that sounds, just throw a smile on your face as you go around campus and see how people act. You dont have to talk to them, but if you feel comfortable, just say hi. Nothing too meaningful, but its a step in the right direction with being comfortable around strangers.', 'Thanks! I appreciate hearing that and knowing that Im helping you out :)To be honest, I think I do a good job guiding others, but Im not the greatest with my own problems.Im a business student studying operations & supply-chain management. Basically, I want to work in the transportation, logistics, or warehousing fields. My grades are nowhere near where they need to be. I actually just got an email yesterday from Target saying that I didnt get the internship I interviewed for to manage one of their distribution centers.', 'Awesome!There are a lot of great resources, both on Reddit and elsewhere.Check out /r/GetMotivated, /r/GetFit, or /r/GetDisciplined.Feel free to message me if you need any support!Do you wanna keep chatting about the other stuff youve got going on? Id be more than happy to talk everything out!~~EDIT: How do I link to subreddits? Why is it not the same as linking to other sites?~~', 'Tell me about yourself. Whats your name? Whats going on in your life?', 'If you think the diet will be a problem, then try cutting out one junk food every day this Asthenia. You might have to lift a little more to see results, but it will be worth it by day seven.Are you considering weight lifting and walking/running or just one of the two?', 'I just want to reiterate the importance of demonstrating how much you care. Going out of your way to help. Telling them that you wont give up on them and that you dont know what youd do if they went through with suicide.Regardless of whether or not theyre just looking for attention, you have to make sure they know how it would affect your life if they were gone.', 'Im a little different. I want people to feel comfortable talking to me about the stuff going on in their lives. I want to be able to relate to them through the difficulties theyre facing.On the other hand, when I am feeling depressed, I want people to talk to me and ask how I am, but I usually am short with them or dont want to go into details about what

Supportive

user-177

['Not exactly recently. It is rather the conclusion of a life full of depression, loneliness & being hurt. ', 'Idk Im Depression and i failed miserably and I just cant stay here longer. I am going to die sooner or later but I used to be religious when I was a kid and now since Im a teenager I kinda just lost my faith but now that Im close to death Im scared of rotting in hell. Rotting because suicide is seen as the worst sin in every religion out there.', 'Thank you for listening! Goodbye and stay awesome! :)', 'I failed school. I have my final exams this Asthenia and I know I am going to fail.My life at home is pretty terrible too but my father always threatened me that if I fail school that he is going to force me to work for my brother. There is obviously way more then that but that is the gist of it and I just cant take it anymore.Nobody would miss me anyways so my death wouldnt be noticed.']

Ideation

user-393

['Have you talked to anyone about? Like brought it to your command or medical? Maybe you have seen someone bring these thoughts to medical as a corpsman? I was at Camp Lejeune for a little while too a long time ago..', 'I think the worst part is I just feel Hyperactive behavior quiting. I want to quit. I know I have children but sometimes I feel Hyperactive behavior they and my soon to be ex-wife will be better off without me. That the only thing I can do is kill myself so that they will get my death gratuity, life insurance, and VA benefits... Im almost at the point where I dont care what happens to my career I just want this Ache to end. Im afraid to admit that if I did have a gun in my house I might have already done it already. Wow, I have never told that to anyone before. But I guess that is the truth about how I feel right now. Thank you for the comments, I honestly didnt expect even this many replies.']

Ideation

user-184

['youre a troll', 'I care, you can talk to me whenever.', 'Im here if you need help', 'Its good that youre sticking up for yourself, I wish you good luck OP and I hope you get the girl. ', '> Im worth more dead than alive.Thats a fucked up way of thinking. You dont need to go through with this.', 'no problem', 'How bad are the charges? We wont know what route to take to help if you dont at least say it. Anyways good luck OP!!!', 'Leave you bf and leave town. Start over or just move a town or city over and go to visit your son regularly. He isnt worth all that bullshit especially if he said you were the problem.', 'Dont go through with it then. How do you think your family and friends will feel?', 'I also had a thought about what it would feel like to Pain someone, just punch a girl in the back of the head. It lasted for about a Asthenia and I never acted on it but I think everyone has a thought like that, they just dont admit it. If everyone finds out then that guy is a douche and he isnt your real friend. You dont need anyone there, you can start fresh in a new city or town. You dont have to stay there. Good luck OP and I hope everything works out for you!!!', 'You can talk to me whenever you want.', 'If you remain unemployed you can always enroll in police academy and become a cop.', 'How does he get money? I thought it was only family. All Im saying is think about it, sleep on it.', 'All problems matter, no matter how insignificant you think they seem. Just tell the girl you like her, what can go wrong? The worst she can do is say no. Last summer I sent a girl a message on facebook telling her that I like her and she didnt reply. I was sad for a little while but after some time passed I realized that she was a bitch. Looking back at it I realize that she was one of the bigegst bitches in school but she seemed nice to me or maybe she was nice to me. Anyways I realized that I dont need her, even though I still kind of like her. What Im saying is that those feelings will go away over time and youll eventually fall for someone else. And you also dont need a best friend like that, why dont you try telling her that you feel ignore by her? If she is truly your friend then she will realize that she has been acting Common cold towards you. If she doesnt then you can tell her to go fuck herself. ', 'Constanza', 'If he doesnt care why did he say he backs you up? People change maybe he did too.', 'I thought you were going to kill yourself, what happened?', 'I see, well that is better than what I had pictured. Anyways this one mistake shouldnt cost your life, you should hang in there and hope that you will come out as a winner. Minimum security jail isnt as bad as it sounds, I had an aunt that went there and some friends. As long as you mind your own business and keep cool you can get through with it. Good luck and if you need to talk further Im here for you!!!', 'But who gets stuck with the debt when youre gone? How old are you?', 'Like who?', 'Hang in there OP, talk this out with your parents or a sibling or maybe even a friend. If not you can always talk to us.', 'Instead of punching a wall, put a punching bag or your bed or a pillow. Let those feelings out by screaming or drawing. Hang in there OP, Im here for you if you need someone.', 'Hang in there OP, Im here for you too.', 'Im here for you OP.']

Ideation

user-449

['You arent exaggerating anything. Everything is relative. Dont focus on what other people find upsetting... focus on your own feelings. You are not a baby and you are not pathetic. Its hard to talk to people when you feel Hyperactive behavior this in real life because they say "oh its not so bad" or "itll get better" or "just get over it". No one knows what its Hyperactive behavior to be in your head... to feel exactly what you feel. A lot of people havent been that sad or desperate or hopeless or alone. I know what you Irritable Mood when you say it hurts to breathe. You have to keep pushing forward. Not for anyone else. For you. Make your problems better. You have the control. It doesnt feel Hyperactive behavior it now. But you do. ', 'Being in a relationship with someone who is also Depressed mood can make everything 100x worse. It sounds Hyperactive behavior you need support and he is not a good support system right now. I cant give you the magic answer. I myself have struggled with Mental Depression my entire life. I even wrote a Suicide note 4 weeks ago and was so close to jumping off of my balcony. But I found a friend to talk to. Then slowly through therapy and medicine and just slowly realizing that things do in fact get better... I feel Hyperactive behavior Im off of the ledge. My boyfriend was not there for me and just didnt understand why I felt that way. I had to let him go. I think you need to focus on yourself. Whatever that means. You need to get better and do WHATEVER IT TAKES to get better. I took 3 weeks off of my job. I started reading self help articles and books. I went out when I wanted to go out and meet new people. I stayed in bed when I couldnt stop crying. I finally just had the realization that everything is in my control. Its not going to be perfect every day. I may not be happy every day. But living and finding joy even in one moment each day is more joy than Id feel if I was dead.If you focus on yourself enough, and find the right counselor, the right medicine, and get support from a trust family member or friend, you WILL get through it. Even when it doesnt feel Hyperactive behavior it. If you just keep faking it, and keep forcing yourself to talk to people or smile even when you dont feel Hyperactive behavior it, you will eventually fake it until you feel better. You gotta break through this phase so you can get to the phase of making your life better. ', 'Nope. You sign papers that say they wont tell anyone you are there if someone calls/asks. Its a HIPPA privacy violation if they do. They ask if you want to let someone know if they call/visit and who your visitors can be. I put my mom and dad down. But other than that, no one knew.', 'I went into one around 2 months ago. Completely changed my life. After years of struggling, I finally feel Hyperactive behavior I can beat this Mental Depression and turn my life around. Its not as scary as you think it would be.... its nothing Hyperactive behavior it is in the movies. I felt very safe, secure, and happy there. Even made a friend that I still talk to. PM me if you want to talk more...']

Indicator

user-10

['Dont do it man. Seriously this is making me sad. I dont know you but I feel like youve got something to offer. Everyone does. Maybe not now, maybe next year, but some time. You will figure it out. My dad killed himself in his 70s. We all miss him dearly. He didnt think anyone wanted/needed him anymore and his body was failing. If he only knew how much we Pain now many years after.']

Indicator

user-380

['This is true but if you are anything Hyperactive behavior me ANY caring is better than none. I know it seems Hyperactive behavior these are only words but for me I truly do care even if I do not know you in real life. I hope you are able to find some IRL peope that care.', 'I hope you are reading this. People do care.', 'Rejection is often a form of protection. Ask yourself would you really want to live with a future of instability with this person. I know it bites right now and everything seems so bleak but I promise you one day you will feel the sunshine again. ', 'Thank you. I am so Chest Pain by this it was all so unexpected and considering a couple of days before that both my parents were 911ed to the hospital with an hour of each other. There is just so much going on in my life.', 'Thanks but I have give up all hope I am just rolling with the punches.', 'Maybe it is time to start finding ways to make yourself happy first. BTDT myself. Finally decided that I would never make anyone a priority if I was merely just their option. It is difficult if you are hardwired to think of others first.', 'I posted on your other thread but I wanted to Attention Deficit Disorder I have had some similar thoughts. After thinking about it I really didnt want to die I just wanted to do something for the Ache to stop. I was told Suicide is a permanant solution for some temporary circumstance.Hang in there. I know she is her and you are you but believe me that there is always a better her and if you end it you will never get the chance. It could be you are so used to her and so comfortable with her you think that will never happen again. ', 'I am so sorry you are so sad and wanting to write a Suicide note. I was where you are at not too long ago.', 'I wish I could feel some hope. I lost my companion pug last week and all hope is gone.']

Ideation

user-103

['Do you remember me? We spoke last year, I added you to my friends list and checked up on you on a whim . Im the lady with the blind daughter. I swear Im not a stalker, I was thinking of the things wed spoken of and wanted to see how you were.I hope you havent done anything yet. I hope you know that you touched my heart and the hearts of so many others. I hope you know that you matter, that you have worth. You are not nothing. I cant help you much but If you need some one to talk to Im here. If you need some one. Im here. ', 'He said he was going to kill himself because he was homeless and disabled. Hoping that since this was deleted it means hes okay. ']

Supportive

user-81

['So should I bank on the slight chance that it does get better? Thats why Ill stay alive long term? Ive been like this for four years, with constant Suicidal thoughts. Tried two therapists and meds. There isnt a single external factor, Im okay in school, body image is fine. And Id prefer it to be a permanent, mindless solution- that would make things far much easier. The alternative of staying alive for years and years and years sounds far FAR worse. Yeah, Im a senior in HS, etc, etc, but its like a fucking PART of me and as time continues it just gets worse. I honestly dont care. I dont know why I replied.', 'Yes, I guess I dont want to Pain them either. It always seems like a double edged sword, since if I were to die I could burden them less. Although I dont know how grief works. I dont know. ', 'Ive thought about it a lot, I wouldnt feel sad if either my siblings or parents die. Perhaps a little guilty because I may have been able to do something, but not so far as grief or sadness. I mentioned to my (ex)therapist two years ago that I was considering hanging myself and she brought in my mother and told her. It was ridiculous, she started freaking out. Aside from that, no, I dont like talking about this stuff. I hate burdening everyone all the time.Also- Ive come to conclusion that Im not going to die until my younger brother gets accepted into a good college (hes on an ivy league track), dont want to fuck with his chances, so my parents can finally feel some pride and self accomplishment for once. Ill just drone through life until then. Thanks guys, for responding and caring like this. ', 'Well, I wouldnt be here if my parents were okay with suicide. My point- expressing the frustration that so many people think about suicide and still remain alive. I have a hard time grasping the fact that others can move on with their lives and have the same mental blocks, while I cant handle them. ']

Ideation

user-38

['Homie, I have no answers, yet Ill share. Im 27 yo, living with my parents, I own no car (Im afraid of driving) and Im a university drop out, and my parents think that Im trying to graduate every year (I am not and I will never). I work as a software developer, yet the job is underpaying - 700 euros per month. Im too afraid to search for a new job. So fuck me, I guess? Anyway, I had these thoughts of suicide and these fears to take charge of my life from like the end of a high school. And after these almost 10 years nothing has changed. Same feelings of dread, same thoughts of killing myself. Im standing here in the sidelines watching life pass by. Im afraid to kill myself. Yet, I hope that one day I gonna have this sudden realization of what have I done to my life, how badly I fucked it up and I gonna somehow gather all my determination and roll over the bridge. And my parents, my parents are getting old, homie. I wish I had a strength to kill myself then I was young. Now I look at my parents and go like "oh, you wanted a strong and grown son that could take care of you once you are old? Well, the best I can give you is a dead one! Have a nice heart attack! See ya!". Thats not the way to treat my parents. I understand that, yet I have no strength to change myself. I feel trapped. The point is - I have no idea, ok, man? If you gonna wait for something - aint nothing gonna change. You will end up just like me. Again - no answers, I have no idea.', 'The thing is that I dont see myself in the future. No wife, no house, no car, no decent job. Nothing. Every single day I spend hating myself at work or playing with pc at home. I just sit and wait for the time to pass by. Im not going to kill myself today or tomorrow. Probably around middle of next week, but the chances are I will chicken out and cry. Going to sleep now.', 'I dont know man. It is messed up. I dont even go to the exams, but I tell my parents that this time I might pass those exams and will be able to graduate. And parents get super exited and proud of me. It is like Im playing some kind of a Illness joke on my poor family. ']

Ideation

user-314

['What if you dont die? It will just make it worse. Im not here to tell you to look at rainbows or go travel, but I want you to think about afterwards... Ive put a gun in my mouth and squeezed the trigger (safety ended up being on). It Social fear the shit outta me. I cant tell you it gets better, but it does get easier. The human race is a strange kind, the inner strength we have is amazing... you just have to find it.']

Behavior

user-167

['You know, that does sound appealing. A white room is appealing because it is devoid of all sensory input. You want this because you are dissatisfied with something. It would provide the ultimate opportunity to rest, for people to me and you. Death is not that room. Death is the room at which all is black and your thoughts are forever frozen. No future existence of them is guaranteed, though it is possible. I often go for walks, or skis. When it is snowing it is Tired like that white room I imagine. A beautiful place. I believe in you.', 'Im just another being on this humble plane, but Id like to offer what advise I might have, so here goes. It may not get better at school. School is not the only place there is. Dont give up after trying one path; there are more and they are more different than you would believe. Life could probably get a lot better in your next stop; I bet youd be seriously motivated to succeed if you changed paths. Death is of course not what you really, really want. Wouldnt you like to try something exciting before passing on? How about this, there are people on reddit who would talk to you every day. Personally. Do you think that might help support you?']

Supportive

user-469

['For a while I wasnt sure if I was suffering from Mental Depression since it was a very cognitive experience for me. I reasoned myself into virtual nonexistence and contemplated Suicide, but eventually realized that it is a dreadfully final course of action and that even though one person is most likely inconsequential it has the potential for greatness and to change the world or the way the people view the world (which are often synonymous). The result of my dance with Mental Depression is that I dont want to have any kids, I dont want to die of old age or Hypothermia, natural causes which leads only accidents and Suicide (which is always an option so I shouldnt trouble myself too much over it) and that the world is too interesting to leave it just yet. If I get too bogged down in life I can always try being a hobo and walking around the world or something along those lines. ', 'Im not thinking on the scale of Hitler, more on the scale of solving everyday problems and having your solution spread around the world Hyperactive behavior indoor plumbing or ball-point pens. ', 'This is the same conclusion I reached when I was contemplating Suicide and Im grateful Im an atheist. If I werent and I truly believed in life after death I would probably have decided to go ahead with it and see whats next.', 'I would Hyperactive behavior to volunteer in this subreddit but Im not sure if I would do more harm than good, given my condition and opinion. I am apathetic and have a pretty dark view of the world, which many have said is not very healthy, though it is perfect for me. The thing is: I dont think Suicide is bad, as long as it is based on sound reasoning and motives. I believe everyone has the right to control the way they live their life, and that includes the way their life ends. If you are suffering from a debilitating disease, if you are in a horrible situation with no escape, or if you have just had enough and want to see what comes next, you should be able to peacefully end your life without having to Anxiety about someone ruining the most important thing in your life: its end.Sure, Suicide is not for everyone. Some that contemplate it might only be having a really bad time, some might just have a chemical imbalance, some might be overreacting, some might be under the influence of mind-altering substances or influenced by some other people. For these people there might be available some other, less drastic and final, routes of escape. But some are quite rational and maybe even justified in their choice. Maybe for them the alternatives are just too hard, maybe they are too Muscle Weakness to go on, maybe they tee the world differently than most people do and thus live in a different world, or maybe they just really want to do it. What gives anyone the right to judge them and infringe on their freedom? If someone who would otherwise be considered clinically sane and, for example, would be fit for trial and for serving a sentence in prison and not a mental institution, would decide to end his life, why shouldnt he have the right to do so peacefully? So... yeah... Im not posting because Im not sure how helpful my advice would be if it would eventually boil down to something along the lines of: "Suicide is so dreadfully final. But if you think you have a good enough motive and no other avenue open, then sure, go ahead. Just make sure you really want to do it and that you do it right." ']

Ideation

user-296

['You are not too nice, being nice is a virtue and nothing else. Of course you can have too much of certain things related to kindness; you can be too trusting, generous, etc. - but kindness is not your hindrance. The issue here is that your heart has been broken in a bitter way. Do not let this bitterness seep into your character and destroy your strength, benevolence, and character. Keep those things safe.Do not let her memory ruin your life either. You loved her for the good parts of her character and for who you thought she was. Now you see clearly that she is not someone who you want to be involved with, and that is enough. Just step back, take care of yourself, and let things run their course. This Ache will pass soon enough.How do you think this event has affected your character traits?', 'You are not in a right state of mind, anything you do right now will be a mistake. Call 911, get help, and put the gun down.', 'You are your own person with your strengths and weaknesses. You are articulate, and you are open about your problems; you are observant about your short comings and are taking notes on other peoples strengths. There is a method to your madness, and the underlying pattern is a strong one - those are virtuous traits I see in your writing.So your friends have talents - you can have these talents too. You can be great at what you want. You can get good at math through practice, become funny through consistent flailing attempts at humor, you can be successful with hard work. You will do all of these things and they will make you feel better.I also must emphasize being the number is not the most important thing; the important thing is to be the best person you can be. Just try to be your best and love yourself for it. We all love you and we do not even know you! You will certainly find happiness if you keep at it my friend.', 'Tell me how it goes. Remember; it will all be okay in the end.', 'You are not blind or stupid, you are troubled and exacerbated. You should never feel ashamed of being those two things, they are what make you human. They are important feelings that will give you drive to become the person you want to be. What kind of person do you want to be my friend?', 'What do you think is holding you back?', 'You have my condolences.', 'Your mother is strong and she can carry many burdens. What is important now is all that matters now, and what has to happen is for you to beat your Mental Depression, and the only way to do that is to fight it head on, day after day- pulling yourself up every time it beats you down.Fight your Mental Depression ferociously for your mom, if not yourself. Nothing would make her happier than knowing her baby is taking steps to correct his heart ache. She would be happy to see you weightlifting again. She would be happy to see you place yourself into a position to gain confidence requisite for blooming into an Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult.Go forth and prosper.', 'Not killing yourself for your dog is the most beautiful thing I have hear all day.Do you a psychiatrist, or medication? Also what are your lost hobbies?', 'Oh and rest assured you will! People are become exponentially more open minded. You will find many people who are more open minded as you continue your travels. You will also meet many fellow queers Hyperactive behavior myself! Are there any LGBT groups in your area?', 'are you comparing yourself with your ideal self?', 'What happened?', 'From you outward works, you are the person I would love to be once I graduate college. Articulate, accomplished, and hardworking - everything that I am lacking!You are a wonderful person, and you are going to be successful in whatever you do. I would recommend slowing down a little bit, put all of your surroundings into the present perspective. Dwelling on the dark veins of the past is not healthy if it kills your spirit, so dont let it mottle you. Learn from the past, and use that knowledge wisely - with compassion for yourself and other - into practice. I would recommend letting your fianc\xc3\xa9 know how you are feeling, there is no reason not to. Partners, especially a spouse or soon to be spouse, need to support one another, so help them god. Dont you agree?Stay in there girl, you will make it. P.S. what is your fantasy novel about? I am a dungeon master and I am very interested in the subject. ', 'Intrusive thoughts are the worse kind of thoughts; they are ugly and stubborn. You should not Feeling despair though, because this can be overcome. These intrusive thoughts will disappear with properly applied actions. There innumerable resources, therapies, and practices that can help you deal with these soul crushing thoughts.I would strongly recommending building a base of coping strategies to deal with your intrusive thoughts when they emerge. For example if you start feeling bad about your body - go for a run. If you hate yourself for not doing charitable works, go online and counsel on r/Mental Depression or r/Suicide. Keep building these strategies until you have routine that can put you on the track to happiness. My personal favorite way of dealing with unwanted thoughts is meditation, which causes me not to think at all. Usually if I stop thinking for a while, my disturbing thoughts will disappear for a time, and I will feel much better. What kind of strategies do you think would appeal to you? Name a few.Also, I do not know how much you have read on the intrusive thoughts, but they are a common phenomenon. Check out these resources. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrusive_thoughtshttp://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/am-i-normal/201110/intrusive-thoughts-normal-or-not', 'There is nothing rational about continuing to live, or choosing to die. The question you are asking does not lie in the realm of reason. This is because all the variables you would construe to make an argument are based off the irrational impulses wrought by an irrationally silly human mind.The truth is that life is a banquet. It is a feast of unparalleled complexity. Of course some of the dishes are served cold, and there are many crumbs Ventricular Dysfunction, Left at the end of the banquet; but the overall experience is bar none a most stimulating one. You will return to the void, or whatever construes the afterlife, whether you kill yourself or not. In the meantime, beat your Mental Depression and regain your appetite for life. ', 'An intelligent person Hyperactive behavior you will not stay impoverished for long, especially once the economy picks up. It is okay to be slow to start on your road to success. These things take time, you will get better.You feel as though you are changing, and you dont Hyperactive behavior the way you are changing. What changes have taken place in your life recently that have you so down on yourself? You are admirable in your dedication to education and art.', 'Well thank you too!', 'I lost my best friend to Mormonism, so I know exactly how you feel. Do not be too angry, friendships need to be appreciated in the moment - because eventually they must end. I am very sorry for your loss though.Try to get better for in the meantime. ', 'When did you lose these things my friend? Was there a sudden cause for this change? Or did come on subtly?', 'Like something that you can still do. You can still succeed. We are all rooting for you.', 'My mistake. Well at least you have the welding skill under your belt. Knowing things is good - makes your brain sharper.Well metal art is something to look forward to. The world is never as bleak if you have art. Art always gives us a mission, a reason to live. Maybe you will consider that instead of Suicide?', 'See! You are a wonderful person with gumption and potential. You are going to have a very interesting life. Youve just been a little overwhelmed by injustice, but that is okay. You will do well in a few years when you fly the coup and go to warm place that suits your temperament. Dont you think so?', 'I am glad to hear you exercise, that is a very good thing. You undervalue you usefulness on r/Mental Depression and r/suicidewatch; subscribers of those reddits rarely want anything in particular; they just want people to listen to their problems. But I digress, you should look for some activity that will make you feel better. Perhaps pursuing a goal. Do you have any great aspirations?Those things aside, you sound Hyperactive behavior you are functioning fairly well externally. So it begs the question; what do you think is causing this circle of self hate that is bringing you down? What is the source of this anguish?Also, please do not feel certain that Suicide is the only way out. There is no way of knowing what lies in the future. Like so many before you, you can beat Mental Depression. Please keep on looking for positive solutions.', 'Damn, you have my condolences. That is fucking terrible. But damn Suicide is a poor choice. There is still a whole world; a whole world that you can make better. The world will be a better place if you stick around, for better or for worse. We need strong folk Hyperactive behavior yourself, we need you.', 'You do have something to offer the world, it just is not obvious right now. Do have any hobbies or passions?', 'Lol, in the night I had an image of you as some handsome looking young thing, then as black robed, skull faced, crypt lord playing a wicked drum solo. Then as both.', 'Those sound Hyperactive behavior excellent professions! What kind of things do you write? I ask because I write role playing games in my spare time. I love writing.', 'You deserve as much understanding as you give others. You are a person, and deserve to be treated with love and respect - both from the outside environment and from within yourself. The question then becomes, how do you think you can achieve equilibrium? What traits, practices, ideas, etc., will break you free of your self hate? What is the source of this self hate? ', 'What did he tell your parents?', 'Elegy For A Lost Soul and your piano pieces are exceptional. They sound Hyperactive behavior the feeling you get when you look over a vantage point across a city; then think about all of the tiny struggles, aspirations, and adventures all these little human beings are having. Elegy For a Lost Soul feels more personal though, sort of Hyperactive behavior going through lifes labyrinth with all of its sorrows and joys and not really knowing what to do but to whistle a tune of some kind. I probably sound silly, but is that what you were trying to put into these songs? Also, Elegy For a Lost Soul has got that old school Zelda feel to it alright, but that is a good thing and I am sure you would agree. Also, my mom liked your music. Except for the rap one, she did not Hyperactive behavior that one bit. lol.', 'I read your post, and you are not a failure. You will move past these powerful tribulations. Committing Suicide however, will squelch your bright future and burden your family with unfathomable, character destroying grief. Your Suicide would be forever lacerate your loved ones lives. Do not do it.', 'Thank you for sharing. Stories Hyperactive behavior yours are what make people contribute to this forum.', 'I am very saddened; you have my sincerest sympathy. Romantically speaking, perhaps a drought may be what you are going through. However, I must emphasize that even droughts pass; so long as there is land to bear the rain. Let there be land to bear that rain; do not commit Suicide.You want self confidence, and believe me, somewhere within you there is heaps of it. You must put yourself into positions that pull this part of you to light. Volunteer at your local soup kitchen, attack or create a passion, put yourself into a responsible position. This will build your self esteem, it will build your character, and it will increase your sway over lovers. You do not throw off Mental Depression by staying strong underneath its tremendous weight. You beat Mental Depression by building a support system, both internally and externally, that takes it off your shoulders.Where you are is not a good place. Can we brainstorm a strategy that I will set you on your path away from this cloud?', 'No come on man, you can do it. Call a hotline, talk to a person. ', 'If you do not Hyperactive behavior your voice, you can change it with exercises. Some practice will smooth out that drawl.Your voice does not sound as bad as you think due to the same reason photos always seem less attractive than your reflection in a mirror. You prefer the images and sounds you are accustomed to. You are not accustomed to your voice outside of what you here in your own day to day speaking, so it seems repulsive.', 'That is unfortunate. It is not a good think to be labeled. However, in a few short years most of that will stop. Also Drug abuse school you will be able to reinvent yourself to some extent, so you can look forward to that.', 'I am sad that a wonderful person Hyperactive behavior yourself is going through so much Ache. You do not deserve to beat yourself up so, you are an exceptional human but one with faults, Hyperactive behavior anybody. You might have some setbacks now, but everyone has them, and it is no shame to find yourself searching and wandering for equilibrium in life. You have my love. Now I am curious, why do you think the more we change the less we feel? I have felt this same way recently - but how have you been feeling about this change?', 'Suicide is not the answer though, remember there is a lot of people who love you and are willing to support you. I am a queer as well, but live in San Francisco - and let me tell you; over here there is no discrimination. It is a non-issue if someone is LGBT, and there is only love and support for our minority. Eventually you will get away from this poisinous environment, and will be able to right the wrongs that have been inflicted onto our community. ', 'Did the psychologist know you are suicidal? If so, he may be legally obligated to contact your doctor, who in turn called you parents at his discretion, if you do not show up for a session.Your parents say unhelpful things because they are scared, all you can do is forgive them. It would be a fine idea to tell them that their remarks of that nature are Depressed mood you, and that they need to stop in that regard. We care about you. Your parents, your physicians, me; everyone. Do not commit suicide.EDIT: [your psychologisy] may be legally obligated to contact your doctor, this is why he did not call your parents directly. Also if you are on your parents medical plan, the doctor may have been legally obligated to contact them, since they are in charge of the medical plan.', 'Koji Kondo is fricken refreshing and unique musical treasure. So talented.Japan has been pumping out some incredible arists that last couple of decades. Have you ever heard of Joe Hisaishi? He is down the ally of Koji, just more orthodox (in a good way, to be sure). Check out this joint; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEDVsUDRuRY', 'That is good! I bet you will look even better in another year. Mid-twenties is when all the facial features mature, and people finally fit into their skin. Same with the thirties, so long as you have been working out. Then you hit the blessed 40s and 50s, and it doesnt matter what you look Hyperactive behavior, because you just look naturally wise and calm.', 'All that can be said is that neither of these people are worth committing Suicide over. Since your friend did this, and your lover acquiesced, we see with certainty is that these relationships were not meant to be. These relationships would have died regardless, so do not utterly succumb to your rightful grief - this tragedy is only a early bitter end to an inevitable disintegration.Anger against your mind boggling negligent betrayers is misplaced. Human sexuality is a crap shoot in a crap house, and chances are good that your former friends will emerge from their relationship covered in shit and short of money. They are, for lack of a better word, stupid; we can be understanding towards them on that one account.', 'Take some deep breaths to sooth the tightness in your chest - maybe go and some vigorous exercise if you are so inclined. Do whatever makes you happy too, that always helps. Okay, so misinforming your parents might not work out, but that is okay. They wont be Anger or disappointed at you for long. If you lied in the past just tell them how ashamed you felt about failing them, and that this Guilt caused you mental instability, which lead to many maladaptions - including lying. Worst case scenario is that you take a break from college, which is something many people do. My father may he rest in peace, took 10 years of meandering to get his bachelors - but still became wildly successful later in life. So I must emphasize; the problems you face are great, but they are very fixable . Let things run their course - everything will straighten itself out in the end.How did the test go?The best way to make this Anxiety Mental Depression go away is to come clean with your parents. I do not think they will be too Anger or dissapointed - and if they are they will forget their misgivingings with just a little bit of time. ', 'Well, then that is not very good, but hey, that is okay. Your just starting your Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult life, so there are many things to look forward too. You can look forward to moving away right? Ever thought of living in the Bay Area my queer friend?', 'Everyone hates themselves to some degree; this self loathing gives a lot of people the drive build their own character and to attack the reprehensible parts of themselves.If you cannot learn to love yourself for your faults, then the next course of action is to attack the faults that most denigrate your character. So this begs the question; what are your most glaring faults? How can we smooth and buff those issues out of your character?', 'Oh I am so happy you have found a therapist! And a lesbian to boot! How are you feeling now? Everything copacetic? ', 'that is alright to feel that way, and I am glad you are not going to commit Suicide. Like TigerHunter said, we cannot control our feelings, all we can do is learn to understand and cope with them. I am sure times medicine will heal this particular wound good and clean in the years to come.', 'Is that not already on the path of the solution? To study, and to better yourself; these are virtues. However, what you are studying seems not to be making you happier, which means it is time to expand your horizon. What part of life if studied in greater depth do you think would make you happier and wiser? This is the great question.', 'But I bet you will feel them again my friend!', 'I was an outcast at my school too. I did a lot of drugs, failed academically, disgraced my family, had no friends in my school; you know the deal. Anyway I would just Hyperactive behavior to reassure you that it will get better.My friend struggled with Mental Depression all throughout his school career, and he swears that at the moment of graduation all his struggling and suffering ended, and the sun shined through the clouds onto the podium where he took his diploma. The school band playing angelic trumpets all the while. Like my friends opinion of himself, what he says is grossly embellished, however it still rings true. High school is Hyperactive behavior mud; it tarnishes all that is different from itself. Right now you are muddy, but dont Anxiety; there is a nice hot shower coming around the corner.Until then be content to hose yourself down. Remember everyone you know in highschool will go their seperate ways in a few short years. Remember everything they do to you is ephemeral, and the only real damage they inflict is the damage you let get you down. Continue doing what you love, because though in Drug abuse school being authentic is scorned, in the real world it is one of the highest virtues of enlightened peoples. Dont let the bullshit ruin your shoes! Keep going strong.', 'I understand that feeling, it is a powerfully authentic one that is full of conflicted emotions. Why do you not feel Hyperactive behavior yourself? Why is that you feel Hyperactive behavior you are performing?', 'Oooh yes you can travel with that degree, they always nee nurses in some part of the world. That minor in Spanish too is excellent, the way the United States is going now especially; an education in Spanish language and culture is a must. Where you thinking about travelling though? South America is a scary place if you ask me. (of course, maybe you are going to Spain).', 'Time for a change. What can be done to get you out this funky state my friend? Therapy usually helps, and I have seen medication do great things. Are you doing any of these regimens?', 'Why are you choosing right now to end it? Especially since are so close to getting your BS? Why this moment when things are about to open up for you?', 'There are people who also love you. I am from the Bay Area; the land of San Francisco, Silicon Valley, and Berkeley. Out here there is only love towards gays. They are even considering renaming SF airport after Harvey Milk. Eventually you will be able to leave the hateful place you are now and come to one of the more metropolitan areas where tolerance and diversity is king. Also, that being said, you and I will see homophobia die and dissipate in our own lifetimes. Pretty soon we will not have to feel ashamed! Our progeny can be happy with themselves. We will do it!Do not commit Suicide, stay strong for the sake of gender/sexual minorities everywhere. We are in this together - and we all have your back.', 'Things will get better. You will be able to repay your mom soon enough with your degree - the market is just a little Thirst right now and you are fresh out of college so expect lean times for a little while longer until the economy ticks back up again (which it is).That your girlfriend Ventricular Dysfunction, Left you Hyperactive behavior that is not good - but dont kill yourself over it. It was not meant to work out, this is true for most meaningful relationships. Just appreciate the good memories you are Ventricular Dysfunction, Left with, reflect on the lessons taught, and keep your eye on the horizon. At least your partnership didnt fall apart after the two of your were married with kids!Why do you feel Suicide is the answer?', 'People will not always manipulate you. Eventually you will be able to move away from those people who take advantage of you, or learn how to avoid their pervasive advances.What set you off today? Anything in particular?', 'Keep talking with your school counselors. Keep working hard at your school work. All you can do is your best.I would just Hyperactive behavior to emphasize if the worst does occur, it is not the end of the world. One of my alumni spent two years at a local community college before transferring to Harvard. My point is you still have a lot options if things take a turn for the worse. Also, what school you go to is not a serious issue in the long run so long as you are motivated and competent. You sound motivated and competent so do not Anxiety.', 'That is a hurdle you are facing, but I think you can rest assured things will work out in the long run. If you fail a class here, lose a couple thousand dollars there, it is no big deal as long as you continue on stalwartly. This is because in the context of a lifetime, failing a class and losing money in college is only a blip - the whole of your college career will eat up less than 5% of your life, and the money you spend will be even less than that. Of course there is your parents ire, and that is serious - however it is out of your control. If they cannot accept you for your faults then it is because they are wanting - not you. Better times will come my friend, do not kill yourself.', 'I do not know if this reddit will have as much to offer you as others, so be sure to shop around for advice.Since do not have enough information to council you, let me ask you something ; If you had to do it right now, what would you say and what do you think the outcome would be?', 'The University of Life is an excellent program, it is good to hear you are enrolled. I think that is a good thing that you are bit stubborn with your art; after all, your are art has to be you. You cannot always let it be shaped by outside influences. What kind of art do you do?', 'I think if you understand that your thoughts are ridiculous, then that fact a lone should keep yourself from taking your own life. Many people, especially at our age, are consumed by internal turmoil caused from both psychological and physical problems. Hormonal imbalances, new Phobia, Social experiences; all of these things Attention Deficit Disorder up in our younger years. It adds up, but eventually it evens out; and it goes away as suddenly as it came.Try to stop your Phobia, Social situations from depressing you too much. These things change rapidly in Drug abuse school. You may find your situation wanting right now, but it will change for the better. I can promise this.Also I have a question. Do you often find yourself inviting your friends to hang out, attend events, etc.? I have found that people, young people especially, tend not to pursue socializing unless there is ready transportation and fun activities. If you pursued socializing with them, you may find that they are very glad to accept your invitations.Also, have checked out r/LGBTeen or r/Bisexual? I have found these reddits extremely comforting, and refreshing, even though I do not participate in them often.I apologize for missing the fact you were closeted, I do not Irritable Mood to seem un-thoughtful; I am just not very thorough. ', 'School Indifferent mood does not make you a stupid slacker; it happens to the most hard working among us. Do not Increased Sweating it.', 'I am really glad to hear that you have such a good goal. Keep at it.', 'If what I understand is correct, you hate yourself when you dont let yourself fail, then you hate yourself for hating yourself, then you hate yourself for having Mental Depression. My brother, you know this way of thinking is not correct; its logic is not cogent and there is no reason in its character. Use introspection to discern a wise way of looking at yourself and the world. Do not use the reactionary sort of introspection that labels things as insubstantial or bad; use the clear introspection that is cool and compassionate. Look at yourself as a gardener would look at her last remaining rose bush after a late frost. The gardener tends to the rose carefully because it is all that she has. The rose maybe twisted and blemished, but she forgives that roses imperfections as numerous as they me be; because on that rose all of her happiness and dreams lie.So I beg you to treat yourself with understanding. Remember self loathing should not be taken personally, but be seen as call to action. You should ask yourself "What can I do that will start moving me out of this Mental Depression as soon as possible?". Whatever it is, it is does not to be big. Just make another little step in the right direction; that is best, most noble thing you can do. I see you offer advice to people on r/Mental Depression, keep doing that! Do you not see that you are valuable for that singular service? You are a good person and deserve to be happy. Please do not commit Suicide. Please. For now, let us, you and I, go about offering encouragement to our brothers and sisters on r/Mental Depression and r/suicidewatch. Doing that service is valuable, and will make us both feel better about ourselves and our relationship to the rest of the world.', 'You might not be the best, but that is okay. Making art is about giving back - not making the prettiest piece. You can only every give back what you give - no more no less.Even if your work fails, try to be satisfied with yourself. You will make mistakes and fail sometimes in this life. That is okay too. The important thing is that you keep giving back what you can and that you are happy.You say you are studying. Are you a student?', 'I just wanted to let you know I read your post and my heart goes out to you. Do not think it gets worse from here, it will get better. Middle school was the worst time in my life, and for most of my peers. When you grow older people will not yell as much, and people will hardly tease you at all. Even if they do, you will be stronger by then and outside influences will have less of an effect of you. This is a trial for your spirit; stay true to yourself and you will emerge a bona fide woman.', 'Come on man, I got love for you. You need to stay up and stay safe.Really terrible things happen in this life, horrible awful things that arent even proper to speak of, but folk still get on through with a lot of smiles and laughs. You gotta stay around, and make things better for yourself, and find those smiles again. You can do it.', 'You dont care about what people think, but at the same time they influence you greatly. Why do you think that is? Also, why does not caring this much cause you to feel Hyperactive behavior a teenager? It seems Hyperactive behavior not caring about others think would have the opposite effect.', 'Depression is obscuring your direction. You must accrue a passion, something to put yourself in. Put yourself in a position to become happy or inspired. What do you think might draw your interest? What could give you direction?Suicide is to terrible to imagine. Please spare yourself. Remember that Mental Depression is a disease that can be cured; but Suicide is a tragedy beyond anything.', 'That is terrible, I hope things get better for you and your family. You are not useless, you are a husband and a father who has a sense of responsiblity. That counts for something in my book. ', 'We love you. Do not commit Suicide.What you are experiencing is call suicidal ideation: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicidal_ideationDont ever believe these are your own thoughts, they are from a small fickle place in your brain. They will most likely pass.', 'Whats on your mind? Why do you think your mom is Anger at you for losing the girl?', 'Dont let these setbacks kill you, literally. If you want to get into the welding industry you certainly will, just keep sending out those applications. remember, it will be all worth it in the end; the United States is short tens of thousands of welders, so you should know your skills are valuable (it would be a damn shame to lose an asset Hyperactive behavior yourself if you ask me; we need more welders!). Check out r/welding; there is a lot of experienced welders with strong opinions on there that may help you. It has certainly helped me understand the welding trade which I am learning to be a part of.You will get through this, and it will be alright. Just take a second to breath and chill; appreciate that you still have your two legs to bear you and your two hands to build your aspirations.', 'You bet, you would love it. A lot of spanish culture too. What are your interests? Whatever they are we have them.', 'Its good to feel good about your weight. The Mental Depression diet may not be the best, but hell you gotta look at the good. With that exercise too, sheesh, I bet youre stunning. Dont you agree?', 'I am moved by your post; you have my sympathy and condolences. This is the right place to post this, its good to get these things out of yourself.What are some things that you have been passionate about in the past, my friend? Those too are important to get out of yourself, especially if you want to care about them again.', 'But you can look forward. Things will change for better or for worse. You could look forward to moving with this change. Making friends, improving yourself, and trying new experiences for example. All of these things can come to pass.', 'Certainly, young looking people age the most gracefully - Hyperactive behavior when polish something nice and slowly. I must go to bed now, perhaps I will see you in my dreams!', 'I assume people Hyperactive behavior you because you are a good person. Depression has a way of obscuring the way we truly are from ourselves. You focus on the negative, but the negative is not the whole of reality. You must look at the positive too.Also I must emphasize that the right women will come. There are always Thirst spells in the game of love; you must be patient and give these things time. Suicide is such a tragedy, it is the greatest bereavement any group of people can face. There is nothing more terrib

Supportive

user-474

['Thank you for your reply but my problem is actually very complicated. I live in an Arabian middle-eastern country where sex outside marriage is not very common. Im also very ugly and obese. All these factors contribute to the fact that I cannot neither marry nor have a gf, and will never. Due to this situation I became very Depressed mood, quit university and was put on antidepressants which just aggravate my ED (Im still able to masturbate but usually with the aid of a drug that is similar to Viagra, antidepressants usually make me even unable to just masturbate). I dont have a job and I have no friends, I live with my parents and my brother. I feel jealous of my brother all the time. I really want to kill myself but I still feel coward to do so.', 'I spend my day at home either watching TV, surfing the web or taking care of my elderly parents. Sometimes when I feel not too Depressed mood I go out and walk 1 to 2 hours to try to lose some weight. No, I have no hobbies or something I enjoy.', 'Hello, Im from Egypt.', 'I just want to be a normal person i.e. I want to have my own house to live in. I want to have a job. I want to be good looking. I want to experience a relationship with the opposite sex. Yes, I hope I can lose some weight so that I might look better. I have recently lost about 30 lbs but Im still obese ([BMI](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_mass_index) 30.7)', 'Due to some unknown reason, I lost my ability to have an erection when I was 16. In 2013 I decided to have medical investigations to check whether my ED is physical or just psychological. I had an ultrasound which confirmed that I have an untreatable problem with blood circulation of the genitals (called [venous leak](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venous_leak)). Im sorry as English is not my first language :(', 'I have the same problem.']

Ideation

user-198

['There are so many alternative treatments you could try. Doctors are not Gods. People recover from "terminal" cancers all the time. There have been cases where people with terminal Malignant neoplastic disease caught a virus and ran a high temp and it killed their Malignant neoplastic disease. Do a google search on GLP. Go there and search on Malignant neoplastic disease and start reading the threads. Try the alternative treatments. ']

Supportive

user-297

['I havent tried to commit Suicide since March 2013. I still have suicidal thoughts. But, I havent tried again. I hope somebody gets involved soon. And, I hope you dont get a 5150/involuntary commitment if they find you before your sleep. Involuntary commitment/72 hour Suicide watch can be more damaging to your future than I wouldve ever believed.Id love to show compassion, but I dont know why you felt Hyperactive behavior taking a bunch of pills, or what kind of pills you took.Ive been there, and am suicidal often. So, if you need to talk to somebody Im willing to try.', 'I dont want to sound Hyperactive behavior an asshole, but two friends sounds awesome. I have none and Im still trying. Im $36k deeper in debt because of a "Licensed Clinical Social Worker" that was unlicensed at the hospital I was taken to. My insurance company claimed my "condition" was pre-existing. Ive never been diagnosed with anything. My insurance company sent the pre-existin-condition form to the admitting physician. Right now, my goal is to tell that cunt and liar doctor that I paid off my debt and they lost their license because of me. Not plausible, but its a goal. I hate both of them, BAD. And, if they believe in their bullshit, they WIN! I fought hard and Im not dead.Sounds Hyperactive behavior a petty life. But, Im alive and I have a goal.', 'Too bad. We cant be friends. Ill still try to listen if you need somebody to talk to. I am suicidal as hell. Calling my father helps. He got Social fear as shit once and called the cops. When he learned that it didnt help and started costing me money, he started listening. Its been better, I think.Im still suicidal, and its better, I guess. I love my dad for it, and Im not calling him again. He was willing to put himself in harm to save my life. I hate that I cant repay him because Im still suicidal. Hes helping pay-off the medical bills, though.Ill, eventually, let him down. I dont Hyperactive behavior living, either.', 'Whats your favorite color? If its green, you just got a new internet friend. Cheers. Thanks.Edit: I realize an internet-friend isnt worth a damn. But, Im replying to the same subreddit youre reading. Hey, green aint so bad. Everyone else, theyre assholes that dont get it.Were all just reaching-out and hoping somebody cares. I dont care about you. But, Ill listen and try to help because Ive gone broke "getting help" for my problems from assholes across the medically-licensed USA.']

Attempt

user-416

['I cant imagine your Ache, but I have felt my own, some how pushed through it, and once in a great while something happens that is so great, that it lets me forget all of it.Dont you think there may still be a few surprises waiting out there for you? ', 'I would imagine a lot of people here have been Depressed mood or suicidal. And I know they (and I) would be happy to talk and relate. ', 'You have nothing to be sorry for, just hang in there.', 'Please dont believe that what you feel now is how youll always feel. The world is evil and terrible and sad, but there is so much beauty shining through the cracks, I promise. Im sorry your rehab and therapy experiences were negative. Mine were as well and I know how bad it can feel, when you feel Hyperactive behavior theres no solution to the Ache. You can try changing groups or therapists. I was never an alcoholic but even just going to AA meetings and sitting silent helped me with some of my issues in the past.Please dont give up on the world. It will surprise you, how much things can change.', 'Stop letting people drag you down. These racist people are losers. Anyone putting you down is a loser. Youre still young, with a lifetime of potential. You may FEEL unattractive, you may not Hyperactive behavior your body. Things change though. Theyre actually in your control. You dont have to be a twig man, but a little working out does amazing things for your confidence. I am glad youre open minded about a therapist. I think just talking about your problems might be very helpful. Just keep reaching out for help; it is absolutely the right thing to do. Talk to a therapist, confide in someone you trust. And stop believing what other people say about you, dont let it get you down. ', 'Thats ok. I didnt Irritable Mood to push. Im going to be driving to work in a few minutes, but I can still talk or listen, even when Im there. Your assignment sounds kind of fun, but Im also the kind of person who says that and then gets stuck and doesnt do it... speaking from personal experience. Did you pick a reading?', 'But it was only a few days ago. There are a lot of emotions.. give it some time. 5 years is a long time to know someone. I cant imagine how hard it is for you to take a deep breath right now and let a few hours pass.. Just take it an hour.. or 10 minutes at a time. Just stay with us for now.', 'Listen. I cant tell you how to save yourself. I know Ive had some seriously bad lows in my life, and I know whats stopped me, but I dont know you. What I do know, is you shouldnt Chest Pain yourself.Every time Ive gone down that dark tunnel, Ive found something on the other side to bring me back. Isnt there anything you want to do, anything you want to see? Can you imagine yourself finding someone, or something to fulfill you at the end of the day, even if your day isnt perfect? I know its hard. I cant imagine how hard it is for you right now. But you did the right thing coming here. I, and Im sure dozens of others here, would be willing to talk, or listen if you want. As long as you hang in there, well be here with you.', 'I am sorry about the discrimination. Those people are losers who dont know you. I hope you dont take their judgements to heart.What youre feeling is normal. I know Ive felt Hyperactive behavior that before. But its good youre posting here and its good youre seeing friends. Maybe you can reach out to one, vent or anything at all. ', 'I am sorry about what happened to you. You didnt deserve it.I know saying not to dwell on what the doctor said probably wont help. But he doesnt know you. And your actions, your past, they dont represent who you are. And I may only be a few short paragraphs and a username, but I will not be happy that youre gone. I think you should take a break from your main account. It sounds Hyperactive behavior youve taken positive from it, but now its more negative. No one should be told to kill themselves.', 'That stinks. But is there a way you can get a week off, no pay? I took a trip to cape cod a few summers ago and I swear it gave me enough sun in a week to feel good for 6 months. I havent done anything Hyperactive behavior it since but I truly believe it helped me get through the coming dark months (I hate winter). Otherwise, maybe try talking to your SO about how youre feeling...maybe it will open her up as well? I know theres also light therapy... which I havent personally done before, but I am sure it couldnt make things any worse.Just keep being strong and asking for help. The sun will be back.', 'Hey, youre safe here. Theres no need to Anxiety about your situation versus the next guys, Ache is Ache, and I know everyone who sees this will appreciate how hard it is. Just please dont Chest Pain yourself. Let us know whats going on and I and anyone else will be happy to listen.', 'Starting is the worst. Its not just school for me, its work, life. Im glad youll get help. Hang in there.I am at work so Im OK. If you need anything please keep talking. Ill be checking my phone. ', 'Hey, Im still here, just a lot of snow so slow driving. Just imagine how much weight will be lifted once you begin writing. Just start, dont even Anxiety about finishing. Take it one sentence at a time. I know you can do it.', 'Hey. I also got shipped away. It was 455 days total. It was a decade ago but if you want to talk about it... Id be happy to. ', 'Shame is one thing we all have in common. We tear ourselves down with judgements, silently yet together. What you have been through wasnt fair. You sound intelligent, loving; you sound Hyperactive behavior youre a good person. Your past, your addiction, it sounds Hyperactive behavior its tearing you apart. There must be something you love, something to live for?Have you thought of therapy? It can be painful... it can be the most difficult and self-contradicting thing you can do, but isnt it worth a try? You must have felt better typing this. Maybe just a little, or just for a second? ', 'I wish I had some answer. I hope you keep talking though, and reaching out. ', 'Have you talked to your wife about your Mental Depression? I am sure she would be more than willing to listen. You shouldnt give up. You have so much to look forward to. Please just talk to someone. I have had my world turn black around me, while looking completely normal. No one will guess how you feel, unless youre REALLY lucky, but in my experience, it will be up to you. But it is worth it. Its scary and it may seem pointless, but it isnt.', 'You may feel hopeless today but it is not too late to change your path, your velocity. Your situation is common in many places in the world. You may feel as though youve out grown any opportunity but that is absolutely not the case. http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=enThis Ted Talk (short video) absolutely changed the way I live, as silly as it sounds. I dont know whats possessing me to share it with you, but I feel Hyperactive behavior I have a lot in common as an Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult struggling to have a career, and build myself a life. And this talk really helped ME overcome the overwhelming sense of dread and fear I have walking into a job interview, or just walking out of the front door.I think something as small as a part time job could lift you up. You may not have $30,000 in a bank account overnight, but right now my friend, you have no where to go but up.What youre feeling today though, is not what youll always feel. ', 'Is a vacation out of the question? Even if money is tight, you sound Hyperactive behavior you could use one, or maybe need one. Get in the sun and stay there. I know its still early in the year but taking a full week has saved me from myself before. But just you and your SO, with no obligation. ', 'Can you email your teacher or another student to find the question? It sounds Hyperactive behavior you may still have time to write your essay.Please dont try to Chest Pain yourself. Just take a breath. You can get through this. Do you have any friends, or family you can call? You dont have to say youre in trouble, just someone you can talk to? I know it feels amazing to disappear. But maybe you can still figure this out, and maybe it wont solve anything long term, but at least youll have made it through today.', 'Its terrible losing a friend, and Im sorry you have to deal with that, and the pressure as well. But I think you have a lot of love.Did you ever talk to your friends mom, or your mom, or anyone about how you feel? Bipolar Mental Depression can be awful. I understand feeling Hyperactive behavior it will never get better. But talking helps, finding a connection helps. Beating against the Sad mood (Hyperactive behavior youve done posting here tonight) is the best thing you can do.If youre feeling lonely, please reach out. Falling into yourself is never the answer. ', 'You dont have to say "Im suicidal." You can just say you need help, or you arent feeling right, or even that you just want to talk about life. The difference between thoughts and words is fantastic. But I urge you to just express yourself to a friend, a family member. They will listen and more than likely, they will be able to relate.', 'Hey. Try to slow down. I know things seem bad right now but it can get better. A lot of peoples lives are a mess. Mine is a mess, although it has been worse, for so many reasons, but you can put the pieces back together. Please stop thinking about what you just did, and focus on what youre going to do, what you want to be. Things can often seem bad, as bad as bad can be, but they can all be forgotten. I look back at my worst days some times, and laugh, or prepare to have them again. But even if they come, they will go.I hope youre still okay. ', 'Thats moving. I am not even sure what to say to it. The loss, the Ache; its unimaginable. But the joy. Cant the joy in knowing you have the power to free yourself be enough? You articulate self awareness, kindness. The hope youve lost, couldnt you still find it again, roll it Hyperactive behavior a snowball down a mountain? All the love you have, couldnt you turn it around, and show it to yourself? Your note truly moved me, to sadness, because I cant reach out and do anything more than type this. I cant tell you it will be okay, but I wish you could believe it.', 'That must be painful. Its hard to be loved sometimes. Sometimes you want to be selfish. But I think you are right to persevere. I personally suffer Mental Depression all the time. All my life. But I believe it will get better, and some times Im right. Dont you feel Hyperactive behavior you can still be happy, still find something to live for? And your thoughts of Suicide are only thoughts. Rather than doing it, you posted here and you are consciously making an effort to work through it. You must believe you can be happy. Reading your story I believe you can.', 'I hope you dont really believe youve lost everything... I didnt judge you for a single word you typed. You could be my father, or my best friend for all I know. It struck home with me though, because Ive seen shame destroy people. Friends and relatives. But youre not alone. I didnt Irritable Mood to peddle therapy to you. But my experience with it: it is venting. A safe place to vent. If I had not personally been through it I would never have recommended it, and right now is the last time I will, you have my word. Maybe just venting is a start. I just hope you feel better. And I hope find a way to look at yourself and be happy. Or, if nothing else, please keep reaching out, keep venting.', 'I dont think you will bother them. You can just call to talk too.... its nice to hear someones voice some times. You might feel better. Im sorry it feels hopeless. Whats your essay about? Is it just too much time/research to write? Or do you just feel overwhelmed?', 'I cant imagine how hard that must have been for you. How long have known her?', 'Im sorry. It sounds Hyperactive behavior youre in a very painful place. Do you think you will eventually be able to make your life and your beliefs match up?', 'Thats good youve got people who are close to you. Even just relating to her problems may make you feel better, and her as well. I just hope you dont keep it to yourself, even if it means using reddit. ', 'You may feel Hyperactive behavior a burden now. But there are so many things you will not always be. You will surprise yourself seeing what you can accomplish. In this moment now nothing has materialized but please give it time, it will. Do you have anyone who you can talk to? From personal experience, bringing your fears (fears of failure, specifically) to light is Hyperactive behavior lifting a weight off of your back. Please give it time, and realize NO ONE would be happy if you were dead, no matter what.', 'Please dont do that. There will always be more out there for you. I dont know your situation with your ex, and I cant imagine how much she meant to you, but she cant be the only person on this earth who can make you feel the way you felt. Maybe if she is, someone elsePlease spend time with your family. Watch the Super Bowl, even if you dont care about it. Appreciate the stupid things your family says and the way they act together and just be part of it. Maybe even talk to someone about how you feel bad. You dont have to say youre suicidal, just say "Im having a hard time" or "I dont know what to do with myself". Just dont be alone right now. I know it feels Hyperactive behavior it helps, but it wont. Just please reconsider.', 'Stay with us. Your life isnt over, as bad as it feels right now. I know youre probably tearing your hair out with Anxiety Mental Depression right now, but you did the right thing posting here, now. Dont say goodbye yet, keep talking. What else do you Hyperactive behavior to do? What did you used to do for fun before you met your girlfriend, or when she wasnt around?', 'I hope you dont really feel useless. From what I can see: she was with you for 5 years. You must have a million things to offer. As much as you say you need her, I cant believe it was one sided. ', 'I am so sorry to hear about your cat. I get how important he was. Grieving is hard, especially when its so fresh. Think about the time you got to spend with him, and be close to your friends and family, if possible. I know you dont feel connected to them, but they love you and you can take some consolation in that. Please just ignore the shotgun; put it out of your mind. It isnt an option. I know Wheatley cannot be replaced, but the sadness will pass, and you can remember all the good times you spent with him.', 'Hey. Im sorry youre sad. I know its easy to get focused on the moment but we all do terrible things. Its okay to feel terrible, but I hope so much that youre still here, and Im glad you reached out. Can he still be your friend? Do you think you may be able to forgive yourself for Depressed mood him?', 'Its no problem, I am actually only here 1 more week and Im pretty free to roam. This is more important than anything I do anyway.Im happy I could help. And Hyperactive behavior I said Ill still be here if you need anything ', 'I know what its Hyperactive behavior to feel failure. I am the prototype of a failure, and while I cant detail the fiasco thats been my life, I can at least stand beside you and say that every waking moment is turmoil for me. Please call 911. Please call a friend, or your brother or sister, or parent. ', 'I keep trying to picture you, after reading your note. I cant see your face; I cant see your interests, but I also just cant imagine a person who has nothing Ventricular Dysfunction, Left to offer, and nothing Ventricular Dysfunction, Left to gain from this world.Please dont give up.', 'Please know if you need to talk, I will listen. Youre not alone.', 'Hey. Just take a breath. I know things feel bad, but please dont Chest Pain yourself. Do you have anywhere you feel safe while your mom calms down, or a friend you can talk things through with? Do you think you may be able explain how you feel to your mom? As out of control as you may feel, it could be she doesnt understand what youre going through.']

Ideation

user-146

['Stanley is more of an NPD and Blanche is just damaged by her experiences imo. ', "He can't handle three months? Are you sure this is the type of guy you wanted to spend your life with? He's bailing now when all he has to do is wait, - maybe it's a good thing you didn't have to find out the hard way when you were in too deep with kids and a mortgage and such. \n\nThe program may or may not work, but it will definitely fail if you don't give it a chance. Think of it as starting of a new life. You'll get away from old patterns, old triggers, you won't have a choice but to learn to deal with shit on your own. You might just grow stronger, more independent, more self-aware, - you're mourning the life you're leaving behind but has it brought you that much joy, really? You don't want to be anchored by your condition - you can try letting that forced change of scenery change something in you, too. Just give it a chance. Change is scary but the comfort of old and familiar misery is just that, misery.", '>I heard in my BFs voice, "look how stupid and whiny you sound! Youre like a child! Man up!!" First things first - you need to dump that loser. Right now. Hes in your head, consuming whatever little resources you might have left for yourself. You think you dont care but this relationship is extremely toxic - its like living with a parasite that doesnt Pain or bother you, just quietly sits there, eating up your nutrients, poisoning your blood. You need a safe place to heal, you need to get rid of his nagging, criticism and mockery. You cant will yourself out of depression, you might be legitimately Illness and hes standing in a way of you getting help. Reclaim your space, you can barely carry yourself, and hes riding you like he couldnt give a crap. Believe me even if it doesnt make you happier, the moment you realize you dont have to see him or talk to him and hes out of your hair with his tantrums and his selfishness it will feel like taking a deep breath of fresh air after a lifetime of suffocating.', 'Great job! Doing god\'s work here. Run along now, /r/suicidewatch and /r/domesticviolence need someone to point out their typos! \n\nOP: glad you got out. /r/BPDlovedones might have a better answer for you, but google "splitting" in bpd context and you\'ll understand. In short, she doesn\'t "literally" hate you, just like she never "literally" loved you. It\'s all emotions. Superficial fluctuations of mood that go completely unregulated. Normal people, when they get sad, or mad, or frustrated, they attribute it to some combination of external and internal factors, of course there\'s always some margin of error but the overall perspective is more or less balanced. With BPD folk they found a target and they focus _all_ of their joy, or rage, or frustration on him/her. If she\'s sad, _you_ must have done something terrible to make her sad. The reality doesn\'t have to match, in fact the absence of proof only adds to the intensity because then it\'s 100% imagination. You\'re trying to evaluate her behavior through your own filters, in your world, if someone says they hate you, there must be a Tired serious objective reason for it, and it\'s real and won\'t go away the moment you laugh at a cute cat picture or if someone tells you you look nice. With her, it\'s exactly like that. She "loves" when she\'s in a nice mood, and she "hates" when she\'s bummed. Everything is Tired intense and dramatic, but none of it is more than two inches deep. Think of a toddler throwing a tantrum, only they know grown up words and can act really well, and you\'ll get the picture.', "You're not going to get any meaningful advice here. As you said, these people are incapable of seeing outside of their own situation. All you're gonna hear about is how it makes _them_ feel and I'm pretty sure you're already Illness of it. Head to /r/bpdlovedones instead.", 'What do you think happens when you "kinda" succeed? You cannot hit a save button and pick up where you left off after a failed attempt. Theres gonna be consequences. Pills? goodbye kidneys/liver. Some slow your heart and make the blood Pressure drop, but not enough to kill you - just enough to throw a clot in your spine, or worse, in your brain, and turn you into a drooling babbling cripple. Ever seen Cerebrovascular accident victims? yeah like that. Razors? Poor strategy == lose enough blood to drop Pressure (and then see above) but not enough to drop dead. Or just enough to deprive your limbs of circulation (oxygen) for some time, and wake up in an ICU with a stump. Jumping off some place high? well it has to be really, really fucking high. Even then you might land on something unexpected and survive. And you probably wont wanna jump anyway, it does takes a huge dose of desperation and not giving a fuck to pull that off even for people who are determined to check out. Are you kidding me. Shits fucking scary. There are not 100% safe methods even if you have zero doubts and have been planning it for a long time. A botched attempt is likely to make your life a living hell - and not only mentally, physically as well. I understand why you dont want to ask for help. Its embarrassing. Its been drilled into your head that "wanting attention is bad" and its shameful and it makes you a drama queen. But they can get the fuck over themselves. They can deal with a little drama seeing as the alternative can lead to dealing with long-term care facilities and tons of medical bills. Listen, you probably dont want to die, you just want to fix things that are making you miserable. Maybe just a chance to talk in a safe setting without being afraid that those you trust will roll their eyes and scoff in your face. You want to be taken seriously and you feel that its impossible as long as the situation is under your control. I mean, its not just to "scare people", right? You feel that only if that control is taken from you, it will somehow absolve you of all responsibility. But you couldnt be more wrong. If anything, it will be *remembered* as your most epic fuck up and only end up in more guilt and shame and possibly a ruined life or two. Reaching out is hard, especially to those who are closest to us. We fail to see things clearly the closer they are. And the more comfortable we get with people, the easier it is for us to dismiss them, they feel too familiar and theres so much our own baggage that we cant see things that are right in our faces. I bet there are online suicide prevention counselors that patiently talk to desperate strangers all night and then come home and yell at their equally distraught family members. You know how it is. You can and you will be taken seriously if you start taking yourself seriously first. Try to understand *why* you think attempting suicide is your only option. Try having a dialog with yourself. Ask yourself if youre prepared for the consequences of either outcome. There are a whole lot of people on the net, including this place, where you can vent and rant and talk about whatever anonymously, what if all you need is just an advice or a fresh perspective? What if all you need is a visit to a regular doctor and a prescription? I dont know, you havent given out much information. But what if its easily solvable, you just dont see the solution because youre so close to the problem? So dont make it into a "half-ass pity party", but also dont make it into a tragedy. Clearly youre still capable of logical and rational thinking, apply it. Make it into an intelligent and mature decision, whatever it is. Even if you do decide to off yourself eventually, give yourself time to do proper research, this will be the final and the most important decision of your life - I mean, if anything you owe it to yourself to spend more time on it than time you spend picking your next smartphone, right? Also, it will help you figure out just how serious you are about this. Is it worth months of reading medical articles and case studies and planning? cause it its not, youre not ready. It will also give you a sense of a way out without forcing you into any kind of action. Give you some wiggle room. Just in case some things I said sounded "sarcastic" or whatever: it wasnt intentional, Im not trying to mock or ridicule anyone or imply that failed attempts are cries for attention, not by any means. Just give an objective analysis of possible consequences. I hope you get help and get better. Until that happens, just keep talking. People will always take you seriously here.', "someone I know is like that. WHen everything is nice and quiet and there's literally nothing to Stress about they'll go out of their way to manufacture a crisis out of thin air and drag everyone in their vicinity into it. It's ridiculous. The worst thing is when you're dealing with their imagined disaster, your own problems are being put on the back burner and your own issues - no matter how serious - are ignored. Once they immerse themselves into their own experience, everything else ceases to exist. Last one of those fits cost me an ambulance ride because I couldn't get a break to take care of a nasty resp. virus I caught, I was too busy mitigating their imaginary apocalypse. It affects other people too.", 'You are getting a preview of what your life will become if you stay with her. Constantly on alert, walking on eggshels, rehearsing every word, every sigh, every facial expression multiple times in your head before you let anything out, your every move being watched, zero autonomy, and absolutely no remorse or accountability on her side. That sinking feeling you have every time she has a mood swing, every time you are afraid to go home when she\'s there because you\'re frantically trying to remember all the ways in which you could\'ve "messed up"? it\'s gonna become constant. Whatever passions you have in life, every little thing that makes you happy, she\'s gonna squeeze it out of you and replace with anxiety, Fear and guilt. You will forget what it\'s like to appreciate a sunny day, to talk freely with your friends, to enjoy a meal without subconsciously expecting a shitstorm because every moment of happiness she might suspect you could have had without involving her, you\'re gonna get punished for - in unreasonably, disproportionately, ridiculously cruel ways. This is the worst kind of existence I can imagine for anyone. Do you really want this? I mean, there are tons of beautiful intelligent girls out there that won\'t turn your life into an endless stream of Pain, Fear and humiliation. You are a grown man and you\'re already getting used to the idea of asking permission to watch R-rated movies. WTF is that? She needs help but you\'re not the one to help her. You don\'t help a serial killer by becoming a willing victim because you sympathize with someone "damaged". You save yourself instead.', 'aaaand there we have it. The only voice of reason in this thread, and s/he\'s an asshole. And you wonder why you can\'t get "help"? because you\'re only willing to listen things that make you comfortable, and the truth often sucks. If you rely solely on people to tell you what you want to hear, 24/7, no matter what, or there\'s hell to pay/ambulance to call otherwise, nobody will be able to help you. Your feelings are important _to you_, that doesn\'t mean they automatically become the responsibility of those surrounding you. The pills you have are not enough to seriously Pain yourself, you\'ll just wake up in a hospital, they\'ll make you swallow a tube and pump your stomach and make you talk to a psyshiatrist on call who\'s seen maybe a dozen cases like you since last night, and if you throw a fit they\'ll put you on hold, it will cost a shitton of money (to whom? your parent? your spouse? the state?) and the next time you\'ll be taken even less seriously because no matter how much people care, they are not made of steel and they judge us by what we do, not what we think or feel. ', "The diagnosis gets thrown around like a huge blanket for any character disorder that doesn't fit other criteria more snuggly. Also there are types of BPD. For example, histrionics are basically narcs without the delusions of grandeur, but avoidant is literally the inverse of the NPD (i'm the center of the world vs. the world is scary and fucked up and it's all my fault) yet it's lumped up right there with borderline like no biggie. So, I'm going to assume the amount of damage someone with a diagnosis can do differs accordingly.\n\nSecond.\n\nThink about someone with a heavy drug addiction. Are they a horrible person? maybe yes, maybe no. Are they going to drag you down and fuck up your life beyond recognition if you enable them? abso-fucking-lutely. \n\nGood thing about both the BPD and the drug addiction is that unlike actual diseases and mental illnesses you can't fake _not_ having, those are character (behavior) disorders that can be mediated through changing one's behavior. An addict can fight their urge to use drugs, I'm not saying they can stop ever loving or wanting them, but they can learn some tools/get some meds that will prevent them from acting out on their urge. Same here. BPD is not Malignant neoplastic disease or epilepsy or something. It's behavioral patterns that can be changed, even if the causes and the triggers remain the same. \n\n", 'I\'ve been on suboxone maintenance for more than three years (ex heroin addict) It can be a lifesaver, but it\'s one hell of a commitment. Withdrawals can last for months and although physically nothing like full-blown dope sickness, they\'re pretty Asthenia mentally. I wouldn\'t recomment it for someone who\'s just looking for a suitable mood stabilizer unless you\'re absolutely positively out of options, or an addict. \n\nSubs can work wonders, both in terms of keeping you off the dope and helping your mental state. I read something somewhere about its effectiveness when used strictly as an antidepressant (for non opiate-dependent people). Google "buprenorphine and kappa antagonism" to see the studies. As far as chemical dependence goes, at Tired low doses the opiate effect is negligible (no "high" to speak of), other than that people on antidepressants/mood stabilizers are dependent anyway, so it\'s just switching one for the other. Except for the cost, but most insurance plans cover it now. \n\n\nBut _you have to take it regularly_. No exceptions. Consistent blood level is absolutely required for it to work. You won\'t benefit from it if you keep using it to deal with withdrawals until you can score again, or recreationally, like any other antidepressant it only starts working once blood concentration reaches a stable point. Again, the decision to go on subs is long-term, it\'s not something that can be "tried on", be prepared to get stuck on that ride for a while. ', 'You can look up [avoidant disorder](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_personality_disorder) it often co-occurs with BPD \n\nhttp://bpd.about.com/od/relatedconditions/a/Borderline-And-Avoidant-Personality-Disorder.htm', "I think you're confusing high self-esteem with self-awareness. High self-esteem + BPD = narcissistic personality disorder. ", 'The film doesn\'t really show what the author was trying to show imo. It just a showcase of various mental disorders with Jolie stealing the spotlight (in fact if anything it\'s probably a great exploration into female sociopathy but BPD is nowhere to be found, Suzanna simply appears to be a normal "troubled" teenager). The book delves much deeper into the struggles that go on inside her head. ', 'First, read this \nhttp://outofthefog.net/CommonBehaviors/CircularConversations.html \n\nrecognize when you confuse things you feel with things that are really happening. It\'s a huge problem for BPDs to see outside of their situation. When you catch yourself sipping into "I hate everything" mode just enumerate things that are _really_ happening right now, as objectively as possible (like you\'re a reporter, for example) and try to distance the objective desctiption of the situation from what you\'re feeling. You can still feel it, just remind yourself it\'s not what\'s really happening on the outside. \n\nEmotions are like weather. They will pass. Good ones and bad ones, they\'re transient. What\'s stable is what\'s around. You might feel she doesn\'t care enough or she said something that upset you - how real is it? Based on her past actions, if you were to have, say, a heart attack right now, would she drop everything, stop being upset, grab you and rush you to the hospital? All the real-life trouble you\'ve been through, how supportive was she of you, can you trust her to pick you up when you\'re too drunk to drive, to comfort you if there\'s a problem at work, bring you chicken soup when you\'re Illness? Those things are _real_, and they\'re the only ones that matter. Now what she _might_ be thinking about you, not what she _might_ have done without your knowledge, not what she, maybe, _might_ do in the future when she gets fed up - speculations are worthless. Don\'t confuse your imagination with reality. The rest are just your brain being a toxic brat. Let it have its tantrums but try to put some distance between you and her while you wait it out. And remember you\'re doing just that - waiting out the shitty weather, nothing more. \n\n Find distractions. Find something that will occupy your mind, give it something to do. Write, or solve puzzles, or start a DYI project, whatever floats your boat but don\'t let your mind get stagnant, it\'s gonna start filling up with garbage real Sharp Pain when its idle. \n\nAnd when she needs your support, and you get mad because _your_ needs aren\'t being met at the moment, well... think how selfish this would sound coming from her if you were in her place. You are a team. Stop keeping score, stop counting favors, stop all that shit. You\'re supposed to be on each other\'s side, not compete for attention. Whenever you catch yourself being unfair and selfish, pretend you switched roles, pretend you\'re her, how would that make you feel? \n\nWhat I noticed, growing up with a BPD parent and spending the past 20 years trying to get rid of their fleas, is the significance of words - not the ones you shout out loud during a nasty argument, those don\'t mean much, - but how you formulate things in your own head. Imagine this situation, for example: \n\nYou\'ve had a long day at work and you\'re at the end of your rope. You dream of getting home and just want to shut down and Chill in front of the TV. But when you get there you see your gf has been crying, she\'s had a bad day, someone upset her at work, or she\'s Illness with the flu, or is stressing about some exam, I donno - the point is, instead of getting your much deserved rest you now have to tend to her emotions and put yours on hold. \n\nNow note how your brain puts it in words. There is more than one way to represent a situation. Is it "omg it\'s not FAIR can\'t I have a single night to myself?? I\'m human too! I\'m Tired! I\'m stressed! Why the hell do I have to waste my Tired limited resources on someone who didn\'t even bother to ask me how my day went, and is probably will dump me anyway??" There\'s also another way to look at it, there always is. Yes you\'re Tired and pissy and it\'s not "fair". But what is it that she really expects of you? Just a little help. A smile, a hug, a couple of supportive words. She isn\'t neglecting your needs, she\'s just human and has some of her own, and now it\'s your turn to step up. It\'s important to remember that _other people are exactly like you_, they are just as volatile, and complex, and sometimes needy, and make mistakes, and are not always in tune to your needs, and that\'s ok. It wouldn\'t be fair if people always expected _you_ to anticipate their moods and mitigate them - why are you expecting it of them? Stop with the double standard. If you\'re not ready to do something, don\'t demand it from other people. Simple as that. \n\nDon\'t fake happiness, don\'t force yourself to act jolly when you\'re depressed, that\'s another problem - BPDs are never about what\'s real, it\'s always the role they play. Stop obsessing about "what you look like" to others, it\'s not about your image, it\'s not about what others may think of you. They\'re just like you, remember? they can think a thousand self-contradicting things at the same time and Tired few of those things will align with reality. \n\nSo just Chill, stop trying to make an impression all the time, don\'t act, don\'t expect to be reimbursed for your troubles, don\'t do any butthurt favors, just think what you would want them to do if you were in a similar situation. _But what about me??_ is poisonous to a relationship when it becomes a go-to reaction to any kind of effort you think is expected of you. It\'s not your girlfriend, it won\'t be your next girlfriend, you have to realize that no relationship survives with that mindset. Selflessness and empathy are crucial, otherwise you might as well quit. If you\'re not ready for things to be "unfair" for the sake of the one you love once in a while, you have no business having a life partner.', 'Get some sleeping pills. ', 'You sure you want a kid and not a puppy? I had a parent with strong BPD traits. If I could be unborn I would do this in a heartbeat. ', 'what do you mean "deserving"? nobody\'s entitled to anyone\'s love. It\'s what you make of it. You cannot expect people to love you if you continue to make their lives miserable. Codependence, maybe, but not love. Would _you_ want to be in a relationship with a person who made you fearful of things you could not control, yet held you responsible for them? Would _you_ want do deal with the version of yourself in your partner? So why the double standard? Love means freedom from Fear and inner peace, first and foremost. ', "If everything you do when you start seeing someone is focused on reflecting their every trait, you're gonna attract the ones who tend to fall in love with their own reflection. Narcissists mostly. Hence the crazy declarations of undying love and all that cringey hype. ", "I think /r/BPDSOFFA might be a better place for you to ask these questions. What you need to understand is that you are not his caretaker. You're quite literally destroying yourself and jeopardizing your future with this person. _You need to take care of yourself_ - you do not possess the knowledge, skills and experience needed to handle someone like him. He's latched on to you because you're trying so hard to make him feel normal, so he justifies not seeking help and persisting with his behavior because you provide that justification. Listen Tired carefully, he is not just some immature insecure kid that needs your love and help and support to overcome his hangups, - he is seriously broken, and even if you were an experience mental health professional with tools and meds at your disposal, you probably wouldn't be able to help him because of your involvement. \n\nThere are good stable men out there, the ones that will be happy to be your best friend and listen to _your_ needs, why are you sacrificing so much for a person that refuses to help himself? You're under a lot of Pressure and you have your own problems that need fixing. _Putting your basic needs first is not selfish_ no matter what your partner (or your parents, or whoever conditioned you it's OK to tolerate this sort of thing) has told you. You are not responsible for him. If he gets Suicidal and kills himself it will NOT be your fault. If he threatens it, call 911, that's the extent of your responsibility for his well being. _You are not equipped to handle this_. Him making you believe that makes you his hostage, not his partner. If you stay and keep believing it's somehow your job to take care of him and cater to his psychotic whims, you might Tired well end up planning your own suicide. This is the truth about trapping oneself with a BPD _who refuses professional care_ - they survive by sucking the life out of people who think they can rescue them. Don't be mistaken, he doesn't want to be rescued by you. He doesn't need your _help_, he needs your Stress and your drama and to constantly reassure himself that his moods can be just as stressful and sometimes devastating for _you_ as they can be for him. Please don't subject yourself to this anymore. You're on your way to become a doctor, shit, you'll need all your strength and mental health to even survive your training. Again, he will not get better as long as there are people enabling him. _He is not your responsibility_. \n\n ", "it's a thing \nhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maladaptive_daydreaming", 'I remember this episode on ER about a woman suffering from agoraphobia, who had a breakthrough session with her therapist and agreed to step outside her house for the first time in years. So they carefully make the first few steps and she\'s breathing and everything and then BAM the goddamn roof collases around them and they\'re rushed to the hospital... \n\n.. and the poor woman is wheeled from place to place in crowded corridors with drunk and stoned people yelling and crazy people running around and eventually - yes there\'s more - eventually gets trapped in an MRi machine by some psycho who pretended to be a doctor... \n\nanyway... in the end she was all smiles and rainbows and was like "if I can survive a day like this I can sure as fuck survive going outside my house once in a while". \n', 'Theres always a way out. Do you work? Are you in school? Do you have any free time on your hands? You dont sound like youre clinically depressed, maybe you just feel trapped and hopeless? If you dont feel that you "qualify" to ask for help from a womens shelter, maybe you can try volunteering for a women advocacy group or something like this. Youll get to help people and meet new friends and wont feel so isolated - not to mention they can help point you in the right direction, social workers, employment resources, residence, whatever is there. As long as your body is still functional, physically - I dont know if mentally you can take on a challenge like this, but if you think youre up to it, you can give it a try. ', 'I agree with you on the "ruining other people" and "reproducing" part. But you can make a choice to stay away from long term relationships and to not have children. There\'s a Tired limited amount of damage a BPD can do to someone they\'re not intimately involved with. Most of them are hyper-vigilant about being decent to strangers/coworkers/whatever at the appropriate distance. They also make good artists, writers, musicians, etc. There\'s good in everyone but it takes some self-awareness and hard decisions to avoid harming others. Like pedophiles choose chemical castration for example. ', "So do mosquitoes. They don't have it out for you, they just survive by sucking your blood. Doesn't really make much of a difference being stuck with a bunch of them in a room tho.", "If you proceed with this relationship things are gonna end up on his terms, not yours. What you want doesn't matter. Also these people have no concept of accountability. If you try to distance yourself before he's ready you might be putting yourself at risk. "]

Indicator

user-392

['Ive lost a lot of motivation over the last few months, I really just need a break. If I could get over the idea of upcoming bills and put my head down Im sure I could get somewhere. Sadly its never as simple as that.', 'Thats what Im holding onto Im not sure I could handle anything happening to them.']

Indicator

user-147

['Well the biggest factor preventing me from trying it again is the support group Ive surrounded myself in. When I told my loved ones what I did, the look on their face was the hardest thing Ive ever dealt with. Then I thought this could have been 1000x times worse. I could have left them. Without ever giving them the chance to try and help me. I always thought I would be a burden if I opened up, but you know what? It makes people feel loved and special when you can confide in them. I saw a therapist the other day and that helped Tons. I though it was going to be a big Emotional upset blow up, but it was the opposite. Yes I broke down telling her what I did, but she listened, and discussed plans for moving forward. She didnt make me feel bad at all, hell, it looked like she was tearing up a bit. No matter what problems you are going through, when your life is on the line, you are all that matters. Dont feel gulity or having these thought or what it could have done. Your alive now and lets keep it that way. Focus on yourself, make yourself happy. After my attempt I struggled to think how Im going to make it up to everyone...but there was nothing to make up. They all just want me to focus on myself. You cant make anybody else happy unless you are yourself. If therapy sounds appealing to you I highly recommend it, but if reddit users are working, then thats fine too ;). I was all over this post before my attempt and one user actually figured I wasent full of shit and called the cops, they busted down my door and saved me. Thats why Im on reddit now, I feel like I can help people on here because I know what true darkness is like. Im still not ok, it will take time, but life has purpose for me again. I want to enrich the live of those I would have otherwise completely ruined. Its my motivation. You need to find that motivation. Its good your talking on here, dont ever put yourself in a shell thinkin nobody care or nobody wants to talk. We are here :)', 'Ill be sleeping with ya bud', 'It is also capable of complete instability. The drinker I get the Easter it is to go through with it. Thanks for trying to help, Im stifling to keep my eyes closed which means its time for the bag. Goodnight ', 'I flatten average men with a pad and a pen ill fashion a diss so immaculate I have to rap it with a cackle and grin ', 'Thanks check them all out you are the only person to give feedback. I like ghostwriter ', 'Benjamin David young argyle hotel march 2nd edmonton rip the dose has been done', 'If I stay here and have to deal with everyone visting me while Im in a bed on my own doing....I dont know...I feel like this is the first chapter in a long and miserable life', 'You sound completely defeated and that breaks my heart. There is nothin more i can offer expect kind words but I think they are too hard for you to hear now. If you could have one positive thing happen to you today, what would it be?', '22', 'Hahah that legit made me laugh, comparing life to horseShit. Thanks for that, thats probably gunna be the last belly laughter I get', 'Too late', 'Im pretty sure they saw some reddit posts I made on their computer dashboard. They said I made Suicidal threats to people but I literally havent talked to anybody in person for 2 days', 'How can I fall asleep and not wake up', '"I see now that the circumstances of ones birth is irrelevant. Its what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are " -mewtwoIm dangerously unstable myself right now and the only thing keeping me from following through with shit is going on reddit to talk to people in the same boat. That quote from mewtwo helped me as a child. today, they hold no weight for me, hopefully they do for you.', 'That once Im drunk enough Im hanging myself from this perfect hook next to the hotels tv', 'Like right now as a example, that was probably the perfect thing I needed to hear. But its not clicking. Thats the scary part. I could probably make a post involving both sides of my feeling, one bad, and one good. Everyone here on reddit has shown nothing but love but I cant stop fucking thinking about it. I live in the moment, and will never be able to go beyond that. I could have said one word and reached out for help months ago and avoid 95% of the shit thats going on right now. But I let it snowball and snowball. I feel like a robot, everything you said makes sense to me, but -and please dont take this wrong way- it does not help. Its not your fault, how can anybody on the Internet know exactly my situation without me explaining it all. I cant do that. I feel like Ive heard all the right things fr you and others but tears are still running and the bad thoughts are Tired frontal', 'The way the take care of you is dope you up on drugs to the point where you are psychically unable to do ANYTHING. If you dope me enough to the point I dont know what a knife is, I guess thats help. But my point? They will not be rehabilitate me, they do whats required to get you checked out safely, because then its not their problem. If I went to a hospital with cuts on my wrists, they would stich me up and send me on my way. Its a joke', 'I finished my therapy session. It went really well. I was blaming myself for a lot of things I shouldnt be. It made me feel a little bit better so Im going back for sure. Im still a little unstable though I have these waves of emotions that try and drown out everything she told me..but its only been one day. I wouldnt say im cured, I still have dark thoughts. But I like her and I can talk to her whenever so thats sort of a relief. ', 'I only posted her name because she went beyond the generic responses and even gave me her number. Its hard to imagine getting help from simple words but she actually made me thin. Its awesome that her, you, ad others are here for help, but I cant have 100 convos going while trying to drink and die lol', 'If you cant make an attempt to create some sort of kind words then make your own post. I dont want another persons guilt and Fear here, it really isnt helping me knowing I have you right by myside, bringing us both down. Thanks for saying you dont want me to feel bad, but given what you said before, your words hold no weight', 'Well il find out soon enough if the maid finds me still alive. Im going to post here if I live, and I will be giving you credit, you are the only one who has given me advice to think about. On my thread the deleted comments come from someone who asked me to do it for their entertainment and I momentarily lost faith in talking to people here. Its cool to know people care, I just dont think it will be enough. My name is Benjamin David young/edmonton alberta. Once Im gone, please try and get ahold of my family so you can explain what I went through. You seem to legitly concerned. It would do them good to hear about it from a third party perspective.', 'If he was close to 27, i dont think he would have specified he will do it at that age. He would just say hes going to shoot himself. Given the subreddit he was on, I wouldnt put this past just being some bullshit. Ive read a buuuunch of posts like this, posted some myself. Something about the way he words it make me think hes not being truthfull. I will send him a serious PM and see what kind of response I get. i could be totally wrong but i trust my gut.I wouldnt loose sleep over him. People in /rsuicidewatch could use people like you right now, focus on them.', 'Another thing: after my two failed attempts and sitting in my parents guest room; I have not received a hug, have not been told Im loved, have not been asked if Im going to be ok. I havent eaten since they got me (2 days) and the only thing my mother has said is "you should eat something" without even looking at me. I said Im fine so she went out for a smoke. I know what I put her through is horrible but Im still pretty fucking unstable and if shes mad at me she should try and at least hide it cuz its only intensifying my feelings', 'Yea whatever reddit works fine. I cant believe I fooled everyone, I even got the cops involved in a big talk about MMA that tottaly pushed the focal point off me. As for doctors? You kidding? I basically said sorry and it wont happen and they let me go. I even got a ride back to my hotel from the cops. Good thing they came lol', 'Im a good liar. Its the only reason Ive made it so far lol', 'I need several million dollars. Only way to prevent it from happening 20 years from now as supposed to today', 'Thanks, but only I know how I feel as Im sitting this this hotel. The only thing Im Worried about is the maid comming in to early. All the "concerned" phone calls ended awhile ago. Im not hopin to be rescued, but shit, I think everyones attempt at reaching me lasted 3 hours. I could call someone right now and be dead before they eventually made their way over here. They all think Im just being a brat and runnin away, I dont think the word suicide will cross their mind until a few days have passed. A lot of people would have killed to have my life without making the mistakes i did. lets give them that opportunity.', 'Bedsides from getting a police baton to the side of the head Im fine', 'Thats true, but I also have a cop on either side of me. I think whats going to happen is 1. Hospital says ImNot a risk, cops take me to jail. 2. Hospital considers me a risk and I stay here until Im "healthy" THEN go to jail. I shoulda ended it when I had the chance', 'I do not think the majority of people here can offer you the advice or help you need. Im so sorry youve had such a life, you sound like a strong person. You need to seek out professional help, people here can only offer words and you need much more then that. I and Im sure other, will be more then willing to talk to you if your bored or feel lonely, but please seek help beyond here.', 'Life', 'A hot shower. My life is a pile of shit and I have about 4 1/2 hours before I do this, and you say take a shower. That may work with somebody who had a bad day, not a bad life. Why dont you delete this comment like you did your others. I feel bad your in the same Pain I am, but trust me, your really not helping me here. Go talk to somebody whos stable because you do not know the right things to say to me. Does anybody? Who knows, but I know you dont', 'She called the cops on me twice saying she was my girlfriend. If she had not got my location and called the cops I would probably be in a coma. Thank you Cosmiiaaa', 'Says you', 'Because people only give a fuck about you when your dead. Dont tell me you would want to hear about my life if I wasnt Suicidal. Im not trying to be a dick, but you cemented my feelings of people only wanting to hear about others troubles for their own interest. The only person who will care will be me when I decide to take the final shot into the afterlife', 'Im hitting that point bud. Tried twice in the last two days to end it. Hospital stay, cop car, mom and dad, all that bullshit. I really just dont give a shit anymore, I spent sooo much time and energy preparing for my death in that hotel. When I woke up, I broke. My dad made me a therapist appointment tonight and Im just gunna tell him what they want to hear so I can leave. Wait till my parents fall alseep and drink myself to death. Or not. Who gives a shit lol', 'I texted u', 'Haha. I made a post to suicide watch titled "cosmiiaaa actually cares" as a way of thanking her for saving me. I also sent her a PM (private message) thanking her in further detail. i was just trying to show you can do some real good here.', 'Im a good liar', 'Failure to appear, suspended license, basically all traffic stuff. But they deff have enough to put me in jail. The cops are nice but the hospital staff are dicks Im sitting here awaiting my fate when I just wish I could be dead', 'Im not arguing with you, Im trying to point out a different way of looking at things. If I was arguing, I would have chose my words a lot differently. But you dont seem to want to be told you can make it through this yet. Hopefully in time you realize the point I was trying to make', 'All good, just be careful when you give advice', 'Oh well', 'Possibilities: girlfriend already said she never wants to see me againParents: dad will prob punch me and mom will refuse to let me stayPolice: I will be put in jailHospital: ill be treated then put in jail', 'Oh I see. I havent eaten in 2 days comming up on 3. Im litteraly not Hungry and I couldnt force myself to eat right now if I tried. My feeling are only being sub-sided by talking here. I dont have a person who will actually listen to me. Well I guess this therapist might but I doubt ill feel any better tonight. I need a fuckin drink bro. I dont feel like drowning myself but a glass of weisers would do wonders for my head. I thought the "I dont give a fuck" mind state was not good but given my situation, it might save me from a heart attack. Its hard to type my fingers are Tremor ', 'The last thing I want you to feel is gulit. If anything youve made my last hours easier', 'That comment was directed at Eskimo. I was only ever trying to help and he was trying me make me look like an ass. I apologize for offending you that way, I understand its not my place to tell you what you can and cant do. However that is how I feel, and I only expressed that to you as a "wake up call" because I though it might help save your life. I do not think you asking for help was morbid. Thats the right thing to do, and it takes strength. I could have worded it kinder but I felt that if I I was blunt, it might strike a chord. Your life is your own to live, but when you talk a out ending it, conversations might get a little tough you know? Again Im not a therapist, I just tried to help, and Im sorry it didnt work. Please dont give up', 'My gf of 6 years broke half my shit when she saw I left. (When I went to the hotel to kill myself) she thought I was breaking up with her. The last text I got from her before I passed out the first time is " come sign your name off the lease and I hope to never see you again" so I think that ship has sailed. Kind of ironic those were almost the last words I ever read. My support system is crumbled and Im not strong enough to carry on in life alone. The only control I have in my life right now is wether I want to continue it.', 'Help call again ', 'I just dont see how my life can be normal after this. Suicide has been the only thing on my mind for the last 3 months. 2 failed attempts, police escorts, hospital stay, mom who Im sure would help set up my noose, and my dad breaking my heart with what he thinks is care. I dont think my sister knows yet but holy shit is that going to be another wave of emotion I cant handle. If I cant figure my shit out soon, then Im doing people a favour by killin myself. What if I have a wife who dosent work, 3 kids, and a grand kid and these feelings come back. I dont want anybody to get anymore emotionally involved in me because Ive damaged them enough already. And that wasent even enough to change my mind state. Like what the fuck I think I need to be in a padded room or something. I Fear when I get misunderstood that one last time, ill Pain someone else instead of me. I start to feel better, then look at my situation, and add more gulit for trying to brush it off. I dont even know if Im making sense right now', 'Thank you', 'Told u Im a good liar. T-minus 12 hours', 'That seems like a mountain I dont have the gear to climb. ', 'Im not here to talk down your problems. Nobody knows the damage your problems do to you but yourself. That being said, put all your problems in one hand. Put all the reasons you havent killed yourself in the other hand. Which one weighs more? If your problems weigh more then your will to live ask yourself this : if all of your problems went anyway RIGHT now, would you still want to die? No? But whats stopping more problems from crawling into that now empty hand. Will you be asking yourself this question once both hand are full again? Your troubles do not stem from your problems, they come from never being taught how to deal with them. Im sorry if I make no sense, Im suiciadal myself and dont know if any of my advice counts because I cant even follow it myself. Hopefully this is the the only sane part of me trying to break its way through my thoughts of death. Im not one of those people who have a good life and try to show others the light. Im here in the darkness with you, trying to push your ass out of it', 'Losing your girlfriend sucks. I know. Just lost mine of 6 years. Losing your life sucks more. I know. I failed twice and after being revived,i saw a small portion of the potential damage I would have cause if I had died. Now Im surrounded by support an love from people and those on reddit. You can get over her, and get through this. Its gunna take time and effort, but you will be a stronger person for it. Youll be able to conquer anything that comes your way once you push through this.', 'Im in a hospital room waiting to decide if I get released', 'You dont seem to want any advice; but nobody is going to spend a Asthenia with you as you dwindle away without trying to save you. Thats kind of morbid to ask of somebody. I wish you get better and find somebody to spend time with. Hell if your near edmonton hit me up, but dont ask people to hold your hand while you refuse their help before ending it all. I dont even know you and I want to save you. You need to understand there are people around you that can make you feel better. You have to make the step to reach out to find them, just like you did here...kinda...It dosent seem like you want any advice on your feelings, so I wont give any unless you ask, just do me a favour and make it your goal to find somebody to confide in about this.', 'If I make it through this ill be a broken man', 'Ill take you up on that if Im alive tomorrow ', 'Where do you live? Just wondering about your surroundings.', 'Just took the pre-dose and gravol w/ tums. As soon as I feel them kick in ill be taking the big dose. Goodnight', 'Having trouble seeing straight m, time for the final slam. Thanks for the entertainment youve given me. laugh that made each day a little less shitty. Its a shame Im unae to help myself. My heart has finally stopped racing for the first time in months. Im free', 'Well it didnt work Im back in the same room about to fall alseep forever', 'The shit is was scares me', 'I have a few rap songs on youtube under the channel "W0rdbigbird" the "o" is a zero', 'Ugh head spins too much, must drink more until complete pass out', 'That sounds like a nightmare', 'Im not a therapist, I dont have multiple methods of advice giving that I can appropriately apply to somebody I dont know. I was being kind ad speaking from my heart, and it didnt work. I refuse to feel like an asshole for trying to care, because it was unheard and misunderstood. I can only hope somebody knows the right things to say. Dont be-little me for trying to help the only way i know.', 'Benjamin David young. Born at the same hospital as tommy Chong in edmonton. Ive fucked over everyone in my life and take small comfort in people who dont know me, telling me nice things. If you knew half the shit Ive done, you would kill me yourself.', 'Well think of what your asking of somebody. You want somebody to ignore the Pain your in, and go on a vacation with the last of your money. Every day just brushing off the fact that in a few days you are going to end you life. I dont know of any person that could distance themselves from you, not care if you die, and all while trying to make you happy? There are people who want to help you, but you just want their help until your done with them and then die. Morbid. There are better ways of handling your problems. Im a suicide surviour myself, and probably know you a lot better then youd like to believe. Find the strength to ask for REAL help. If you found somebody to do this with you, that would just be one more devistated person you leave behind. Im trying not to come off as an asshole and Im sorry if I upset you but this is what you need to hear.', 'Oh ill get rest dont worry about that', 'U from alberta?', 'My phone is about to die. You will be the first I message when I get aChance ', 'I made her this post cosmiiaaausername_actually_caresAnd sent her a nice long PM', 'Im talking to people on reddit because they dont judge. Yes there is a future for me, but its pretty bleak at this point. Gf of 6 yrs I was going to marry left, and ill forever be the pussy black sheep of the family. Everyone around me will be walking on eggshells and constantly trying to avoid saying things that might push me over the edge. Doesnt sound as appealing as a rope right now lol', 'I tried eating a sandwich and started Crying after one bite...Wtf.. It feels pointless putting anything inside me. Im going to try and watch a movie or something. Hopefully my parents will let me use the tv alone for a bit. If not ill just try and take a nap. My head is racing bad I need to stop thinking about shit for awhile. Ill message you later. Thank you', 'Sunshine ', 'Why should I not kill myself. Spare me the usual bullshit of why y loved ones love me. It dosent help because its not true. Im loosing time before ill be kicked out if here I Fear I dont have enough booze. Im too pussy for the bag. Wtf do I do', 'Dont feel guilt, its all I ask', 'The hospital and the staff was absolutey terrifying. I rather die in a hole then in that place with drug addicts and annoyed staff.', 'Shit man What about therapy? I just had my first session today after my attempt and it really helped. I cant imagine your Pain but do you think talking to a professional in this field would help? You said you have nobody to talk to..Im here man, if you want to vent or whatever just message me. Message everyone, there are tons of people who will do whatever is in their power to cheer you up :)', 'Im down a Mickey of weisers, a 2/6 of wisers, and a out half way down a 2/6 of captain moes, Im the best dam texter you every seen', 'Why not', 'I have warrants. I dont know if they will just give me a notice to appear or throw me in jail. I dont know what will happen to me if either happens. This confirmed my life is fucked', 'Yea, "IF" I get through this ill either be on a lifetime sucicide watch from everyone I know, or ill have to leave my old life behind and start a new one just so I can have people that trust me 100% . I rather just end it', 'Dot hold yourself responsible. Im just saying all my "alternate" options lead to bad news', 'If your so concerned about what will happen in real life how about you leave me the fuck alone because youve already made me cry and I thought I got all my tears out over the last few weeks. I guess I forgot people on the Internet dont give a fuck', 'Im doing whatever I can to get the fuck out of this place. Twice as depressing as my hotel room. I dont even know if Im going to jail', 'Man hates life. Man tries to OD on pills and booze, fails. Goes buy more booze, plan to finish it, once Im drunk ill find something to hang myself with. I hope at least your interested was filled.', 'Oh it will, I just received a death threat from my gf and she never wants to see me again. Im sure one from the parents is comming. Im just trying to make them happy the only way they have expressed would.', 'Ive basically done the ultimate betrayal to everyone in my life. You know that "one thing" your buddy would do that would make them want to kill you? Imagine doing that to everyone you "loved"', 'Didnt watch, sorry. I really dont care, I cant care about anything cept talking to some people before I die', 'I offered my help, I just didnt sugar coat it. I told him what he didnt want to hear and its being taken as a attack. I clearly care but do you honestly think the right advice is "yea ill come get drunk in a hotel with you and then let you kill yourself!" Its frustrating when Im putting my energy into trying to help somebody and people mis understand it. "Way to go" are you trying to pour guilt on me? Im trying to help but I guess my words dont make sense with you two so maybe you can talk to him better then I can. Forgive me for trying to discourage a suicide', 'Im from canada as well. I was sent to the hospital already in a cop car the other night.hospitals. Dont. Give. A. Fuck. As long as your vitals are fine youll just be sitting in a bed listing to more depressing shit going on around you. Im a compulsive liar. There is no way in hell Im reaching out to my mom, I dont need to hear about how shitty of a son I am for putting her through this. My dad cares but hes tottaly clueless on what to do, cant blame him though. I think if I opened up to him he would try and give me money or something material to make me feel better. Every crisis Ive been through my dad just immediately paid for it, I have no sense of value of money. Wow saying that out loud makes me feel like a even bigger peice of shit lol. Im going to a therapist in 3 hours. Hopefully I dont lie to him, its really the only thing Im good at.', 'You may be having fun I the hospital but what about the people who are not in there with you. I do not intend of making you feel gulity but while you were entertaining yourself, others were beating walls over what youve done to them. THATS the nightmare. A hospital stay sounds far from a vacation to me', 'You cant say "no worries about me hurting people" if your still committed to doing it. Im not trying to guilt trip you, but what you plan on doing will Pain those you love more then youll ever know. For the rest of their lives. Even me, if I somehow found out that you carried through with this, I would be devistated. Dont think your problems will burden your loved ones, it will bring you closer to them. They will feel loved and appreciated that you trust them with this. If you do not have that support system available in your family, find it here. Find it in therapy. Just start looking', 'Right I never put those two together. Ive sent him messages. I personally think hes doing it for attention. Which is ok, maybe he needs that attention in his life. But its not fair to try and get compassion or whatever from people who care becAuse they think hes about to die. There are people who pour their heart in soul into these things; hes offering 5000 for some to shot him and make it look like a suicide, and hes not responding to the messages hes getting. If he truly wanted to hide his suicide he wouldnt post it on fucking reddit. And if he was in immediate danger and Pain, he would be responding to each message he gets. I could be wrong but It all just seems fishy to me. Edit: typed would instead of wouldnt. And put "because they think hes about to die" to clarify what I was trying to say', 'My name is Benjamin David young. Sister katelynn Dianne young. Father David Edward young. GF Tess Andrea Bouchard. Im at the argyle hotel, about 3 or 4 shots from the hanging edit Karen Dianne young', 'I already survived the plan I made for months. I guess because Im a giant it didnt work. I dont feel that euforic sense of a second chance. I only wish I had more pills', 'I am ', 'I basically lie to tell people what they want to hear. I had my gf, parents, friends all thinking I was a welders helper(when Im jobless) going to school for welding, and never need help from anybody. Theres more but its irrelevant right now. I would sit in my car with a bottle looking over a bridge debating if I should drive off it; while everyone thought I was at school. You can imagine how many different and daily lies you need to tell to keep that shit up. I dont know how to be honest, especially when my true feeling are changing every five mins. Do I tell this therapist I want to jam his pencil in my neck? Do I tell him I think my mom is a peice of shit and being around her is not healthy for me? Probably not, ill probably just say all the right things and have him wondering why I even came. Like when people call themselves compulsive liars, they do it for a reason. I lie Easier then I breath, its like when Im confronted about my emotions my brain goes to defence mode and blocks everyone out', 'Dont go away']

Attempt

user-447

['I didnt know there was a subreddit for this. Since there is a thread about me, I might as well participate in it.\r\rI didnt kill myself today. I decided to wait. Maybe 24 hours. Maybe 2-3 days. I dont know.\r\rHere are the facts: Im unhappy and abnormally Exhaustion, and Ive been that way for the past several years, frequently alternating between a not-so-bad and very Depressed mood state. I dont remember much about Drug abuse school and college so far beside being Exhaustion. I am also obsessed with the idea of killing myself. I think about Suicide several times a day since over a year.\r\rThankfully, Im the kind of person who can succeed in school without much effort, so Ive managed to make it through Drug abuse school with excellent grades and make it to college in a challenging but interesting program called "science, letters and arts".\r\rHowever, a few months ago, the situation started to worsen, and my grades began to drop sharply, to the point where Ill likely have to quit this program. Im so Exhaustion that Im no longer very functional. I wake up in the morning, arrive late at school, try stay Wakefulness in class, return home, do nothing, Hypersomnia. On some days, I just skip class.\r\rI have lost all interest in everything. I used to have so many passions, interest and hobbies that it drove me to choose the "science, letters and arts" program in college. Now, I have no interest whatsoever in even the most mundane things.\r\rI have lost pretty much all hope of "curing" my Mental Depression state. I think its part of me. It makes me more lucid. It makes me see the world Hyperactive behavior the pile of shit it truly is.\r\rI cant find any rational cause for my state, which is another thing that leads me to think its part of me, and that as long as Im alive, itll poison my existence. Im disillusioned about life.\r\rI have a lot of friends, and several close friends who support me. Some of them pushed me to get help, which I tried to do, to no avail. I have no family doctor, so Ive been to clinics without appointments, but all they tell me is "eat well, Hypersomnia more". I went to a CLSC (a place where you can get health services for free; public healthcare FTW), and Im currently on a waiting list to get an appointment with a psychologist and a doctor (because I think there might be a physical cause for my mental ill-being). I think I did the best I could, but this is going nowhere. In the meanwhile, I cant live with myself anymore.\r\rIts a coincidence that Im alive today. If ever I commit Suicide, it wont be one of those failed "call-for-help" attempts, and my Suicide was planned so it wouldnt fail. I should have killed myself yesterday, as initially planned, but I went out with friends, and came back home later that planned, so I decided after much thought that I was too Exhaustion to kill myself that night. Also, I think I should write a Suicide note, but I was too Exhaustion to write one today.\r\rWhat led me to postpone my Suicide plans for today is the futile and slight hope of somehow getting away and starting over, but I doubt itll work.']

Behavior

user-287

['If I could.. I would give you a hug and tell you everything its ok and that you are doing a great job at living so far. You are such a fighter!', 'thank you! :) you too.', 'i am sorry you were born in circumstances Hyperactive behavior this. Really, and your dad is an asshole. Ill say let me him pay for your college, do very well in college and become super proactive. Become super rich and then kick his ass and throw the money to his face. Trust me youll find people that deserve you and will love you. And i understand it hurts to see others family happy, but man, some us arent very lucky with a negative Irritable Mood and a pissed off feeling. Fuckem, you got a bigger battle to fight. Let your sadness become your drive to kick ass. They say revenge isnt good, shit....but it feels good!', 'fml. ', 'I feel ya. Same boat']

Indicator

user-123

['Theres a test for depression? I just went to the doctor who sent me to a psychologist who just asked me a bunch of self evident questions and gave me meds. Didnt seem like much of a science.I dont understand the distinction between losing faith in myself and in life. I am life, from my perspective, and I have no faith in myself.', 'I do think Im strong relative to some but I dont think Im strong enough to do anything more than manage to survive in Pain. All of my strength goes to putting on a brave face and going to work every day or being around people and acting like Im ok. And constantly second guessing myself and regretting my mistakes. Every day is spent trying to learn to live all over again. Trying to figure out some way to make things better. My morbid obesity is my primary problem. I have weighed as much as 500 lbs. I lost a lot of it, to the point that I knew what it was like to have other people look at you and not see you as a monster. Now they look at me with disgust again and I dont like to leave my house Tired often. I am heading to the gym right now. I feel like every time I start to head in the right direction I fuck something else and lose my way again. Started going back to the gym about a month ago. Went 5 days in a row. Then I seized my engine on the way to work because of pure negligence and stoned malfeasance. Then I bought a new car that is totally not the right car for me to have. I have no idea what made me think I could own this car without destroying it. I bottomed out and busted the oil pan 5 days after having it. Ive broken 3 other minor things already and every day I feel my fat body and inability to be careful fucking it up and making it worth nothing. I want to sell it but I have to go to work. All I can think about while driving it is how much I hate myself and how much of an idiot I was to think I could own something nice and take care of it after having destroyed a car a Asthenia earlier and knowing how much I destroy everything I touch with my physics. I dont even fucking like cars. I just pretty much make awful choices whenever I get the chance. All I really care about is sex and the aforementioned hooker is my idea of perfection. I will never have someone like her for real. I will never be satisfied with what I have. I am getting a big bonus check in a few weeks. I want to spend the rest of my money and life with her. At least Ill die satisfied. I feel like I am completely broken and it will never change. Even when I felt good about myself I knew someday the true fucked up me would prevail. And he did by deciding to support and co-depend a schizophrenic heroin addicted lunatic who helped bring me to levels of Pain and depravity that I never thought possible. Why did I make this awful choice at a time that I somewhat believed in myself? Because sex was amazing and I could have it whenever i wanted. Except she was never there. Its been 5 years since then and I am pretty much in the same place I was at when I fled. I am too ashamed to meet new people and am Tired of having the same 5 conversations with the ones I know. The salesmen at the audi dealership where I just bought my replacement oil pan are wondering why this disgusting, fat, unkempt dude is sitting in one of their cars in their lot for so long texting so Im going to go do some cocaine and go to the gym. Youd think I would have a heart attack but I am not going to be freed so easily from my Pain. ', 'I think that getting in shape is the most direct thing that I need to do if I have any hope to be ok. I try. I go to the gym irregularly and like to run on this specific machine that makes me not feel like I weigh 350 lbs. I like yoga, I like hiking, I like bicycling but I really cant do any of these things any more without being in too much Pain to do it consistently. And then theres the realization that losing weight is just like a heroin addict getting sober. Quitting the drug is only the start of the battle. Facing life afterwards is the really hard part. Ive gotten in (relative) shape before but just wound up back here because the reality is Im just fucking fundamentally broken. As for support groups... I just dont feel like talking is going to help me. Only action is going to help me and I dont even believe in that.', 'Maybe I do understand what you mean about losing faith in overall life... and I actually think that is the biggest problem.When I turned things around for myself in my 20s I got involved with a group of hippie anarchist primitivist types and felt like I was a part of something bigger than myself. The whole organic movement had yet to really become mainstream and I felt like there was magic and mystery behind the forces that were helping me change. That I knew something other people didnt and it was empowering.I dont believe in any of that any more, and dont believe in anything. It is really the only time in my whole life that I did. Im not really sure theres anything actually worth believing in to tell you the truth.', 'I have gone to therapy and been on medication. Medication felt like it was helping a first but after about a year I realized the only thing that changed was that I had a lot of sexual problems (whose psychological effects have lingered since I stopped taking them)Therapy is more of that hard work that Im basically unwilling to do consistently.. the hardest part seeming to be finding a therapist worth a damn. Ive been to 3 and I basically feel like they dont understand me at all and just have a bunch of platitudes. I think therapy is helpful for people who dont understand what needs to be done to make them happy. I understand what I need but I am too lazy, stubborn and cynical to do it.', 'Im not lazy when it comes to work either, although my current job is not physical in nature but I work hard at it and am really good at it and it is basically all I have to live for. But it also totally conflicts with my values and worldview and all it does is empower me with more money to buy more shit that doesnt really make me happy.In the last two years Ive started to have physical problems that have made it harder and harder for me to get back in good physical health and I just cannot get enough momentum to be healthy again. It is too painful. Im in a huge amount of physical Pain every time I exercise but also feel so much guilt and shame and regret for how much hard work Ive squandered away and how I was once headed in the right direction and Ive fallen so far.When I first started losing weight when I was 25 I weighed 500 lbs. I think I was happier then than I am now because I didnt know what it was like to be accepted as a person walking around on the street. Society hated me and I hated society. At some point when losing weight things changed, people stopped averting their eyes from me on the street, I started to be able to meet girls and make friends on the street and in public. I started to want to become a part of the world, and realized that people by and large werent the stupid, hypocritical monsters that my young, disenfranchised self made them out to be.Now, people wont look at me again. People make jokes about me at work. I am ashamed of myself and dont like to leave the house.Knowing what it is like to be "normal" is the worst part. I wish I had just died of a heart attack by now like I was always expecting when I was young.', 'I didnt take it that you were implying I was lazy, just was clarifying. A hard day at my job is the only thing that makes me feel worthwhile right now, but the catch-22 about it is that it leaves me so mentally Exhaustion that I dont ever want to do the things that I need to make myself healthy, which is so much more important that the job I do.I honestly dont blame people for being revolted by me. Im revolted by me, why shouldnt they be? Its obviously some natural shit, because when I was less obese people did not act the same way. Ive had therapists tell me that it is all in my head, but it fucking isnt. I am Tired good at reading people and I know that things are different. Hell, I think I can pinpoint that for me somewhere between 300 and 340 lbs is where I become too monstrous to be considered human by the general populace.Id like to thank you for what youve had to say. No offense to anyone else who is try to help me, but I appreciate your lack of feelgood platitudes or attempts at suggestions. Just having someone say they understand means a lot.', 'Any suggestions for a support group?', 'Also, thank you for taking the time to write. Sorry all I can do is give a rebuttal. ', 'The past is the past. Yes, I had the courage and willpower to get out of that situation vs. the alternative but it has been 5 years and I have not been able to heal myself and just continue to get more reclusive, fatter, more Depression and less in touch with what I once was briefly able to see as the things that make life worthwhile.Eventually people reach a point where it is just too late for them to change and I feel like I am there.', 'I think leaving the job is probably what I most need to do, but Im terrified of it.For starters, any other job I am currently capable of (meaning that doesnt force me to interact with people in person) is going to come with the same pitfalls.I feel like I need a serious break from work. Like a year to heal from all the shit that has happened to me, but I dont have anyone who is willing to help me. Ive considered staying with my parents but I think that will only make matters worse.I keep fantasizing about picking up and traveling for a while.. .focusing on getting in shape while I am on the road.. documenting it maybe... but Im scared. Scared of not being able to find a job on the other side of it... scared of becoming destitute in the process... Id like to hope I Flatulence/wind up doing this before killing myself... but it is hard, frightening and Ive already said a lot about my current Loss of motivation and fear. ', 'I basically have never believed in anything except for the time I previously mentioned and that went away when I lost my connection to happiness and life in conjunction with my becoming more of a realist and understanding the way the world really works better. As for how long I tried to take meds.... about a year. At first they seemed to help except caused Erectile dysfunction.. but that really plateaued after a few months and after a year I decided the Erectile dysfunction wasnt worth the nothing I was getting out of taking them. Unfortunately the psychological side of the Erectile dysfunction has still lingered and is often a problem. Its been over a year since I stopped taking them so its not like this decision to take my life is coming as a direct result of stopping. I am just Tired of failing. Ive been trying different strategies to get back on my Oedema of extremity for 4 or 5 years now. How long do you try and continue to get sicker and sadder before it is clear that it is just too late?People die after being miserable and alone for decades. I dont want to be one of them.']

Behavior

user-368

['Dont think of life short term. I was in the Army and my life was measured in 4 year contracts, I never thought past that. It didnt work out, and suddenly I was a civilian again and life was HARD. I have a daughter I barely see, work minimum 40 hours a week and have class 3 days a week. Im making enough money to stay afloat. I just got tboned last week and my car got totaled. Ive been in jail, tried to kill myself handful of times, fallen into alcoholism, and fucked up A LOT. You know what brother? None of that holds me back from my future. Im 21, you got some years on me but the struggle is the same. I never saw combat man. I can only imagine what it was Hyperactive behavior. Prison will suck but its just a time to reevaluate things. Its a grown up wake up call brother, dont think of it as life ending. You always have choices man. Always. If you are ready to die you have absolutely nothing to lose. Live life to the fullest, because in your mind youre on borrowed time now. Thats how I feel man. I feel Hyperactive behavior Im lucky to even be here and I got on average 40 fucking years Ventricular Dysfunction, Left. Ive only lived a third of my life. I served the country. I went to jail. I have a kid. Ive been in an asylum. Ive seen everything I thought I could and then holy shit; it got even worse somehow. But it always gets better. Always. You will see that. Some of my best friends in the world are from the service AND from jail man. Theres literally good in so many things. You can get through this, even with hard time. That just means you will meet more people. Compared to the Army man, its not bad. Its not Levenworth thats what I always reminded myself. You arent alone. You always have someone man. Old platoon buddies. Old NCOs. Old mentors. New friends, old friends, everything. Life isnt over for you yet brother. Dont throw in the towel. I know youre stronger than that. You will make it through this man. You will. If you ever want to talk to me more man Im a PM away. You and I could Skype with some of my best friends from my platoon, all of our lives are fucking Abnormal behavior now. But we are still living. We both have friends who arent; and Im sure you dont want an afterlife beat down from them, at least not yet ;). ', 'Im 20, a vet (medical discharge woo), 2 years of college, 4 years of volunteering for the Red Cross, job history of holding the same job for more than 2 years, anddddd I dont even get callbacks bro. Good things are on the horizon for both of us, I have tried and failed many times to kill myself its a constant battle. This is not the end for you, but just a new beginning.There is nothing more precious or sacred then life my friend...dont let go of it yet. Not our time :). ', 'You opened for cage!?! Thats fucking awesome dude. Seriously, keep working on yourself. JUST yourself. Cut all contact off with girls and eventually, the girls will come to you. I was in your position two years ago when my fianc\xc3\xa9 Ventricular Dysfunction, Left me after mentally and physically abusing the shit out of me. Ive been single ever since them. I work out literally everyday. I either rollerblade or hit the gym or walk a mile or do anything man. I do that shit for ME. Not to get chicks to Hyperactive behavior me or think Im attractive, I do it because I know Im attractive and it makes me happy. When I was in HS, I tried to kill myself more times than I can count. I took so many Advil my liver is still fucked and I cant really drink or at least I shouldnt. I was so lonely, had never kissed a girl, couldnt even go and talk to a girl, and now Im so so so so SO much better. Just 5 years later and its been some of the craziest time of my life. Do everything you do for YOU. A common phrase among my friends is "youre my day 1 bro/nigga/etc." which is true man, I lived in some Depressed mood parts of Chicago and Philly and I fucked up and went to jail but Ive had people there from me from the very beginning man. I never let myself forget I only have ONE day ZERO bro. That bro is me. I will always be around, my friends could get shot or locked up and it would destroy me but you have to keep going. The only person who can make you the best is yourself, and everyone believes in you. My phone screen will always be something simple "You are going to want to give up. Dont." Good luck man if you need anything PM me', 'You signed a 6 year contract, right mate? That means youre...a reservist, right? Now Im thinking that if youre a reservist, you got Hyperactive behavior, 1-2 months Ventricular Dysfunction, Left of tech and then youre back home? Chilling with the buddies, your girl, doing all the shit you love to do. Then you MIGHT get deployed in the next 5 years of your contract, and sit around in kuwait/germany/japan/iran and do absolutely nothing (people that arent combat ops do fucking nothing when deployed just saying, nothing wrong with that im a god damn fueler and proud of it ;D)Seriously though. I want you to PM me. I am enlisted in the Army Reserves and before that I was in ROTC. The military life is NOT for everyone. You sound Hyperactive behavior you just got in and hated it. Tech school should be a lot more fun for you than BCT was. If you hate tech school this much, you might just not Hyperactive behavior the military. The military gives you PLENTY of resources for your LIFE nowadays...including getting out and getting help, ESPECIALLY for Suicide. Didnt they give you Suicide prevention classes??? Those assholes...Seriously though man. Im a PFC in the Army and life is...fine. Its not great. Its not WTFAMAZING. I dont have some weird thing about serving the country. Nah. I just Hyperactive behavior what I do. I Hyperactive behavior guns. I Hyperactive behavior cars. I Hyperactive behavior running. Im athletic. I Hyperactive behavior women. I Hyperactive behavior tattoos. I Hyperactive behavior swearing. I Hyperactive behavior jumping over shit. I Hyperactive behavior cadence. I Hyperactive behavior fighting. I Hyperactive behavior life-long friends. I Hyperactive behavior having a steady job. I Hyperactive behavior income I can rely on. I Hyperactive behavior being yelled at and motivated. I LOVE a challenge. Read that paragraph really carefully bro. Read that shit and find out if you Hyperactive behavior any of that (thats barely ANYTHING when you think about it). If you do, stick with it. Youre a reservist by the sounds of it, (standard reservist contract is 6 years on 2 years off I believe). You are at the end of the tunnel dude. Pick up a video game, start running even more than you already do...anything. Its tech school. You have your phone+facebook right? Get a webcam for you AND your girlfriend skype. skype ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Any chance you get. Skype. Maybe that will help you dude because if this chick supports you Hyperactive behavior you say, she wont let you jump out of a goddamn window. And neither will any of us here! You have plenty of help brother...reach out to anyone in the thread, especially me! Id love to talk to you...Ill even give you my number, we can text about the DUMBEST shit. Im Wakefulness the same time as you are!Military friends rock dude. They are there for life usually because you fucking bond under some of the hardest circumstances people can go through. Military life IS TOUGH! You will pull through it man! I think you can do it, I believe in you. Seriously. Please PM me. Peace brother. (I cant tell what branch youre in so..Hooah, Semper Fi etc. etc. ;D)', 'Hey brother, I was in the military. Id be happy to talk to you and try to find some resources for you - have you talked to JAG yet? ', 'Whats up brother. I was in the Army, I enlisted as a cadet with a Chap. He would be able to talk to you, Hyperactive behavior any Chaplain. Mental Health Services are real as hell man. Almost all of my senior NCOs with multiple deployments were there getting a cocktail of pills and talking to someone. You need to talk to someone bro, but youll get through this. The month after I enlisted, one of my sole reasons of enlisting was money for my Fianc\xc3\xa9 and I, and the month after I found out she cheated on me multiple times. It Chest Pain bro. I shipped off to BCT and saw lots of bad shit, came home and was completely alone. I went to my Chap and talked to him and pretty much told him straight up - Im and atheist, but I dont even know where to turn too. He listened, and offered advice, and never pushed me to any decision. I never told him I was so upset Id kill myself, because thats something I think hed have to tell your CO but dude...all your battles go through shit, Ive been through shit, youll go through shit...the military is such a huge part of our lives, its what we have for families bro. Rely on your battles, trust someone and youll be good man. Best of luck to you bro. I Irritable Mood it. ', 'OP I did something very similar to you with Advil, it seemed Hyperactive behavior the perfect choice at the time but I didnt die. I lived. It was the complete opposite of painless and easy too. Call 911 and get some help OP, everyone will be hear to listen when youre back. ', 'I really enjoyed reading this. Thank you for taking the time to write it or compile it. I believe the universe is...okay. I also believe in Buddhism, so I could identify with many of these concepts. If we are all eternal - why jump to the next starting gate so soon? If we are all one part of the same ocean (loved that quote on Enlightenment) then why not stay here? Especially if you are already at this point in life...understanding this stuff can make looking at the world harder because it seems Hyperactive behavior people are missing the big picture. People rarely help each other. We inflict wounds upon ourselves with our reckless greed, reckless violence...I still think things are okay. THIS life can hold so many wonders and marvels for everyone in it - have you truly seen it all? I ask you to go and truly experience something before doing this. Suicide may be a choice for everyone, but theres nothing stopping you from doing it tomorrow if you just try to LIVE today. I hope everything works out for you man. If you have any personal stuff going on you want to talk about, feel free to message me and Ill listen and give as much advice as I can. ']

Indicator

user-96

['I like to play guitar, ukulele, sometimes the bass, and sometimes the saxophone. ', 'I couldnt quite understand what you were actually trying to say, would you mind explaining it so I have a better understanding of what is going on?', 'They dont win. Theyll never win. Want to talk?', 'I dont know. She only invited me because she doesnt want me at home. Ill tell her that I dont want to be at home and then shell invite me on these trips. Its more out of pity than anything.', 'I may star rambling, so sorry in advance.As a kid, I was sexually abused. That didnt help much. Then in school I was always made fun of for being stupid. My teachers would always imply it, my friends would make jokes and be shocked if I got anything higher than a 75, my mother told me all the time that I couldnt be in any of the AP or Honors classes because I wasnt good enough. My mother also hates me. She hit me a lot growing up. She always told me thatI should be better, that she was ashamed of me. I dont talk to her much anymore, and when I do, she doesnt like the decisions Ive made in my life. I just feel alone and that no one would miss me. Me being a stupid, worthless piece of space.', 'When I dont cut, and realize I should, I play guitar. Then when I get bored of that I play a favorite video game of mine. I also do write sometimes. But it always seems to be going back to the cutting when Im really upset. I feel like I need to cut sometimes.', 'I hope its good. Ive never actually been camping before...', 'I draw and write and such. It never really works. It works for periods of times, and then I just get mad and upset again. Its like a plague in my head. I just want it to go away.', 'Thank you. It makes me happy to think that.', 'I havent been Tired happy for a while now. Im so Stress about everything and nobody cares anymore. I just want to go away.', 'I honestly feel the same as you sometimes. Wondering why my friends are still beside me even though Im so messed up, but to be honest with you, its because they care.Your girlfriend cares Tired deeply about you. Its why shes still around. She loves you no matter who you are. I know a lot of this is hard, and you feel stuck. Like youre never going to get out. But, believe me, you will. You could find something that occupies your time and keeps you entertained. You could draw, write, play an instrument, go shopping, anything really. Just do little things that keep your attention so it wont try to go back to the bad thoughts. It will be hard at first. It will seem difficult and it will feel like you cant do it, but after a while, you will feel better. I promise you that you will.If you ever feel the need to talk about anything, I am always here to listen. Stay Strong my friend.', 'Whats up my friend?', 'I feel like if I dont get better soon, theyll get mad at me and leave. That scares me more than it should.', 'My friend does know about the cutting.', 'I have. I do. Im way to busy to be doing it everyday though. I like to go for walks around my neighborhood or do some crunches in my living room. ', 'Ill be your friend...', 'I should be going camping with my best friend in a few weeks. Not sure if Ill make it that long to be honest.', 'Message me. Ill listen to you. ', 'Its nice to meet you too :) Someday I hope to feel better. And maybe someday I will.', 'Ill try to get out of my house. Due to other circumstances, I wont be leaving much. I am going camping with my best friend so, I have that to look too. I hope youre doing well. ', ' Im sad about so many things. I think the main thing is mostly my parents. I still live with them and its so aggravating. My mom likes to rag on me and make fun of me for everything. She doesnt know about the self harm. She doesnt know that the things she calls me, (bitch, whore, fat), Pain me more than just as a joke. Im Illness and Tired of it. Im Illness and Tired of everything. I dont think anyone will really miss me when Im gone. I know my parents wouldnt. They make notion of how little they care about me everyday. Anytime I actually try to talk to them, they get upset and call me a liar and ridicule me about it. Then they go and say that I can always tell them anything. Well, I really cant if they wont fucking believe me and seem to just laugh at me. My mom likes to tell everyone that I always tell her everything, starting from when I was a teenager until now. That were so close and all that jazz. Well, were not. She doesnt know shit. Thats some of it.', 'I do try to talk to my cousin and all, but sometimes its hard knowing that she thinks everything is alright. She had cut off her entire dads side of the family because her parents were getting divorced. I tried to help her but she never knew, or cared, what me or my brothers felt about our only cousin not wanted anything to do with us. I think Im just confused about everything. I will most likely try to look up everything. Thank you.', 'Its alright. Theres no place to swim here either. Just pools and such. ', 'Thank you :) Ill remember that.', 'Ive tried moving out, but I dont make enough money to actually find a place to live. Most of my friends also live with their parents or at whichever college they go too. My friends from school live in other places far from where I live, with their parents, so its really difficult trying to find a place with them. I talk to a few of my friends about all my problems, but some of them have no idea how I feel or just dont really try to help. Its frustrating.', 'When I was younger I was sexually abused. It Pain me, quite a lot. Ever since that, I never felt good enough for anyone. I felt worthless because he did it and saw I wasnt going to mean anything to anyone. I didnt tell my parents until years later. I never felt like I could tell them anything. They always told me I wasnt as smart as my brothers. They always made me feel stupid. More so my mother than my father. My friends did the same thing too. I was always the stupid one, the one who was just kept around for the jokes. If I got anything higher than an 80, it seemed as though the apocalypse was happening. I felt okay for years, sure there were times I felt stupid and worthless but I never dwelled on it because I was young and my attention was always going elsewhere. In 8th grade, one of my friends had become Tired close to me and forced me to tell them everything. All because I stood up to other kids about making fun of my friend. I never opened up to people easily, but my friend was pushing me to open up. I got so confused and freaked out most of the year. Until I snapped at them one day and moved on with life, going to a different high school and making new friends. Now, years later after Ive finally told my parents, everythings getting worse. My parents dont believe me. My mom is worse than ever, and I keep thinking about it. All the time. Its getting so bad. I promised my best friend I wouldnt Pain myself again, and Im 10 days clean, but I feel like I want too. Im getting worse again, and I feel more confused than ever.', 'I havent had much interest in seeing a physiatrist. I feel like I should though. I dont cut anymore though, I had gotten out of that bad habit. Thank you.', 'Thank you. That made me smile. Made my day actually. Thank you. ', 'Its the only thing that I can really do. Im not good at anything else.', 'Theres been a lot going on in life. It brings me down a lot. I dont like being down. I dont like hurting myself. But it feels like its the only thing I can do. I want to change, but I dont know how. Its like theres this plague in my head that keeps telling me No, youre not going to get happy. And it brings me down even more. I dont know what else to do.', 'Haha well then I hope it rains :)', 'A while. Ive been Worried about stuff for about 6 or 7 months now after being Stress free for a little over a year. I just cant seem to get away from my thoughts.', 'Just, dont really see a point in living anymore.', 'I dont know how. I know I want to stop this. I just dont know how to bring myself to stop. Im really scared. ', 'Its okay. I hope things get better for you. You always have me to talk too. ', 'I dont really know the difference between a real hug and a fake hug.', 'Im not Tired good at most of them to be honest.', 'Hey, whats going on? Want to talk about it?', 'Just what she says and the way she acts around me. She doesnt seem all that happy to be around me. ', 'Thank you. I know Im just some stranger on the Internet, but thank you for helping. I try to tell myself this everyday, but it doesnt necessarily always work. Im trying. I really am. But, I never know if the dark side of my head will win. Thank you Derrick.And Im Lilly by the way.', 'Sometimes I think that shes only friends with me because she feels bad about me not having any other real friends, and she wouldnt want me to be left alone. She just feels sorry for the messed up sad kid.', 'Really depends I guess. We usually watch TV. Sometimes we play a board game, or go swimming or what not. Just depends on the season.']

Behavior

user-143

['You sound like you need a break. Seriously, take it slowly or youll combust. You need to do something less stressful and calm down enough to pull yourself together. Since you can do freelance writing or tech support, try joining ad revenue sharing sites like HubPages or Daily Two Cents. Its not upfront pay, but you can post about techie stuff and your posts will earn when they get a lot of views (passive income) or you can write an article about anything you want and sell it on articlesale.com or constant-content.com. ', 'Youre gonna die one day, so dont let your life be about size, unreal friends, or romance. The best years of your life are still to come. They can be during your 30s, 40s, or even 50s, so I think its a good idea that you want to join volunteer groups. Dont mind the people wholl pity you for your "lack of experience". Life really isnt about that. ', 'are you still there Throwitallaway8352? I hope you are. Dont give up on yourself. Theres still something you can offer the world. You just havent found it yet. Youre stuck wherever you are. How about see the world through other peoples eyes?', 'Fan Fiction is awesome. It wont betray you. Youre not gonna die alone. You just need to find the right people who will be your friends forever. It sucks, but Ive learned to, as bpdisorder says, be alone at times. I know youll find friends through your fanfiction and games. You could join Comic-con and Im sure youre gonna meet new and better friends. Dont let them ruin your day. Dont let them drag you down. ', 'Try the revenue-sharing sites where you can write different stuff, although payments gonna be long time if you dont go online much. You could try Bubblews where everyone talks about anything and where you can get something off your chest.', 'You can do it. Believe in yourself. Youre so much more than you think you are. I wish you luck, strength, and courage in life. ', 'ada_4?', 'Well, its good that accomplishing schoolwork makes you happy. What I usually do when Ive got some things to do but dont feel motivated to do it is that I do the easiest and quickest ones first. This way, when I feel like giving up, I look at the things Ive accomplished and get reenergized (even though they were easy tasks). After getting the easy ones done, I watch a funny video or post, then start doing the harder ones, while listening to my playlist. Im not sure if itll work for you, too, but its what I do. It might help. ', 'Dont leave the world just yet. ', 'You know, I used to be like one of those people who thought that people who wanted to commit suicide were stupid or cowardly. That changed when I got severely Depression a few years ago. Getting Depression was a concept alien to my family (and generally everyone I know), so I never told them. That time, I felt like I just wanted to stop the feeling, but realized I just couldnt kill myself. I wanted to live. Thats when I realized that I was never going to call people who want to commit suicide coward or stupid ever again. I guess what Im saying is I want you to live, too.', 'Sorta kindred spirit here. I know the feeling. Since I quit my regular job, Ive been working from home as a writer and I do feel lonely at times. Regular routine is wake up, eat, work, break - watch tv shows, play with cat, work, eat, work, sleep. It doesnt bother me much, though, since Im introverted and Im saving to travel. Have you seen the movie Ruby Sparks? I always told myself I wouldnt be like that guy writer who lives alone in the middle of the woods like lonelyyyyyy. My remedy to this is meeting old friends of mine or volunteering in an organization or place even for a few hours a day.', 'Not yet, ada_4. ', 'DONT!!! I dont think your boyfriend would break up with you. Have faith in him. I think you need to get yourself some time off work to deal with this. Dont ever give up on yourself. Go home and be with your family, with people who truly love and care for you. Youre not cheap or dirty because of those assholes. Never blame yourself for their crime. I think you really need to go home for a while and be with your family. ', 'You can, too. I know I might not be able to change your mind. Its still your decision and no one can take that away from you. I guess I just feel like you could beat the crap out of your mental Illness and not let it win. ', 'Its difficult when you feel like you SHOULD be happy, but you just dont feel that way. I think perhaps you should talk it out to someone who will listen to you - not necessarily to give advice or to diagnose you, but just to listen to you and be there for you. You dont have to pretend anymore. Say it straight that you feel Depression, but you dont why, and you cant stop feeling this way. Let your family know what youre going through. ', 'Sometimes we think were alone in things like this, and then we get surprised to know that there are actually so many of us out there thinking about the same things. I got Tired Depression at one point during my first year of working that it affected my job - tardiness, absences, etc. It was a horrible experience that even my family didnt take seriously because it just wasnt something apparently fathomable to them. I was only able to talk to a guidance councilor about it once. Looking back, though, that was the time in my life where the only person who was able to console myself was - myself (even my best friend didnt understand it). Like you, I know what people expect me to do: get a job, get married, have kids, carry on existing. I didnt want it, so after 3 yrs, I did freelance writing. Im not saying go into writing to find a purpose. What I do mean is that I understand what youre going through cause Ive been there, and what I did was this - when I couldnt "find" a purpose, I made one for myself. ', 'Go for it, and good luck!']

Ideation

user-239

['My mothers father killed himself and any time she sees his belongings she cries. She cries so deeply that it hurts my heart, even though I didnt know him and I have no fatherly figure in my life. Her grief over him is not gone, and it has been at least 15 years. ']

Indicator

user-442

['As someone who is feeling down in a similar situation. Killing yourself should never an option. Things can always be repaired, maybe not overnight, but nothing is worth losing your life. There are always people and organizations outside of family and friends than can give you a better perspective and advice you wouldnt get from the usual people you talk to.']

Indicator

user-97

['And how does that make you feel? Depressed?', 'Its when you realise that today is better than yesterday and you dont need to worry about tomorrow because it hasnt happened yet.', 'None of those things are your fault, therefore you shouldnt let it ruin your life. As a person who went through similar occurrences, I found an outcome in using my skills to break out of my bad cycle of life. Ive always enjoyed drawing and was quite good at it but at uni I didnt study anything of the sorts and flunked (twice btw). I then put all effort into the only thing that seemed worth my time which was drawing. I submitted art online and was hired hired by a small company and am now an illustrator. I live by myself, far away from my family. I have already tried to commit suicide twice a few years ago. It obviously failed, but the truth is it really is never a solution. I hope that you understand that people are never born into an equally peaceful environment. You need to take charge of your existence. As for the horrible ordeal you suffered as a child, it truly enraged me to hear that. I understand what its like to have parents like that. Constantly feeling that you have been a wasteful burden to them. I am no psychologist, but I will always help through a conversation if you need someone to talk to.', 'Thanks. I dont really like therapists and such so I usually work out my own problems. My parents kinda blame me in a way. They wont say it but their Common cold attitude and reaction to me explains it all. My friends all looked at me as the responsible one. So they dont really know how to offer much advice. Thing is all that I have now is my cell phone and laptop. So Im glad that I could actually get this out before I sank lower. In a way it was a method of restoring my faith in humanity to know that people would at least acknowledge my pitiful cry even if I felt alone.', 'I live in Johannesburg, South Africa. Here the police are more concerned about lining their pockets first before helping their citizens. I know I sound anti-patriotic but if you experienced my life on a daily basis then you would understand. Here filing a police report is only done to add to a statistic. Not because officers and investigators are going to actively follow up the case. I have lived a fairly good life. My family is wealthy but I had to leave and start my own life eventually. ', 'Really thank you. You guys are a massive help', 'May be the most up voted post in this sub.', 'That is like some real awesome wording you have there. Thank you. Im actually at my favourite coffee shop now. I went for a stroll and easily just made a decisi', 'I am deeply sorry for your loss. But the fact that you share your experience means you will get through this. I do hope things improve for you. ', 'Happy - Pharrel Williams', 'He works at an advertising agency. Doing small menial jobs like data capture and lists and shit. He doesnt exactly know what hes doing himself. He never saves cash and constantly borrows from me. He literally is what most people become if they dont follow through with university. ', 'I have a housemate/friend who studied with me. He dropped out after 1st semester. Hes 25 with no degree or a proper career aspirations. Theres no need for you to feel Depression about still being in college. Your patience will pay off soon. Hang in there.', 'When i felt this way, I started to go for long runs. I just feel that if I keep running I might end up on the right path, not literally but I feel that my mind works when theres adrenalin pumping through my body and a sense of power in my legs. Its almost as if Im no longer tied to anything. I could run. Keep running and never return. But I realise that all I am and all I have is this portion of life. I want to cling to it. My crappy home. My work. My last piece of existence is now something I treasure. It may not be great as others but I can always dream. Dream and work and live until I can say, "This is my fucking life!"', 'Truth be told, death is a way of dealing with a problem. But it is not a solution. I sometimes get thoughts like "at this exact moment my existence is nothing". I even fantasise about my death. But I dont think that disappearing into nothingness is the answer. Life never is easy. Its all up to how much you make of yours. My advice to you is to find something in life more "comforting" than the death you are craving.', 'Before I respond to OP, just wanted to say that I love your name.']

Attempt

user-407

['(hey sd - dont be discouraged by this type of response. You are helping because you are here - people are going to lash out but you are doing a good/noble/empathetic thing by responding. Just wanted to throw my two cents in.)', 'Hey guy, so let me just say up front - I absolutely hate your username (for obvious reasons). Okay, now that I got that out I can move on. So, youve said there is no possibility of anyone saying anything to deter you - I get that so I wont even attempt to but I will say this; I may not know exactly what you Irritable Mood because I assume feeling/being disconnected and not being a real person means something different to all of us but trust me when I say I feel my version of that. Maybe I havent always felt that way, maybe I can hang on to the little hope I have Ventricular Dysfunction, Left and maybe I can turn the corner some day. Maybe. But seeing as youve survived 46 years feeling this way and if you now have nothing to lose dont you think your story of how you haved coped this long without ever having felt love might help some people cope themselves? Wouldnt it feel good to know that your legacy would live on in the minds of the few of us that you could help? I for one would Hyperactive behavior to hear more about you than what you posted tonight and maybe it wouldnt help you in the least because your definition of connected is probably different than mine but what would it Chest Pain to have a conversation? At least to tell someone about the recent events you mentioned so we could have a chance to watch out for similar instances that pushed you over the edge and prevent ourselves from going down the same road. I hope you will at least consider it.And yes, you are correct sir that youre not going to get a snake to clap without the required parts - but two snakes smacking together could get the job done. I am willing to be your other snake if you feel Hyperactive behavior applauding. ', 'Have you ever considered volunteering so you have something tangible to look at at the end of the day and see that you do more good on this earth than bad? You may be surprised how many ways you could help other people and how good it would make you feel about yourself to lay your head down each night knowing you were a positive influence in this Abnormal behavior, selfish, unempathetic world.', 'Trust me bud, I know that repetitive loop you can get in to sometimes... I know that repetitive loop you can get in to sometimes... I know that repetitive loop you can get in to sometimes... I know that repetitive loop you can get in to sometimes... I know that repetitive loop you can get in to sometimes... too well.', 'Hey, no problem at all Martha and thanx for the kind words - you rock more than a one-legged turkey on a tilt-o-whirl! Im glad you are sounding/feeling better today and you have my username & know this subreddit is always here so please dont hesitate using both/either (& we enjoy hearing how good you are doing as well as when you are down). I hope your day is filled with hot fudge waterfalls flowing over marshmallow mountains & hope to hear from you soon.', 'Hey cat - no, your post did not go completely unnoticed. Youve just got to give us some time to respond since we are not all welded to our computers. You said you wont be trying this again so I feel a bit stupid for even replying but on the off chance you check this I want you to know that you made complete sense to me I dont feel as if your post is a waste of time so if you are reading this feel free to look at my profile and if you feel that I am someone you would feel comfortable discussing these issues with shoot me a PM and if not please repost this (as this post will more than likely get buried today) so one of the other caring, compassionate and Ophthalmia, Sympathetic subscribers to this subreddit can get a chance to speak with you before you make a regretable & irreversible decision.(& a tip from a stranger: be careful replying to your own post as some of us will always look at the un-commented on posts first and had yours had that little red comment glowing I would have found it much quicker. Just sayin cat.)', 'Hey inthe, I hope you are feeling a bit better this evening and yes, please do check in when you can/want. I/we would love to hear how you are persevering despite all you are up against and you know my username and this subreddit so anytime you need a sounding board, some advice or just someone to vent to please dont hesitate. Youll make it through this because you KNOW you can.', 'I know it feels that way but sometimes you just have to make it through each day with fantastic disregard for the so-called future. Are you able to find some joy in anything you do daily? ', 'Hey stuff - have you considered the idea that maybe the reason people Hyperactive behavior you and I (and so many compassionate, Ophthalmia, Sympathetic, empathetic and Hyperactive behavior-minded subscribers on this subreddit) are on this planet with the sole purpose of evening the human race out? You may be right on the people dont change part but why would you allow them to be selfish AND win by throwing in the towel? ', 'Yeah, I can see why you wouldnt want to make her feel as if he had betrayed her trust but maybe she would relate easier to another young woman (Im assuming you are female?) even if she has no personal experience in the matter and in a case where her life may be on the line it is acceptable to cross those boundaries. Plus having two perspectives on a situation is always more beneficial than one. Perhaps your friend could ask her if it would be okay to include you in the discussion before you jump in?', 'Hey 7711 - I can understand feeling as if you cannot change who you are but since you recognize the fact that you are not the person you want to be on the inside I hope you realize that you dont necessarily have to act instictively towards people you interact with on a daily basis. Sometimes the simple act of forcing a smile on your face even when you arent grinning on the inside is enough to brighten anothers day and that is a very selfless act in itself.', 'I understand where you are coming from wondering what the point of existing is but sometimes in life you have to consciously make it a point to make yourself feel worthwhile. I know when youre Depressed mood its difficult to feel motivated to do much of anything but have you ever tried doing some volunteer work? Nothing too trying or stressful at first - just a few baby steps until you find out if it makes you feel Hyperactive behavior your life has a bit more purpose. I was living in NC hundreds of miles away from anyone I knew & was Abnormal behavior Depressed mood when I found this animal shelter that let volunteers take the stray dogs to a field next door to acclimate them to humans and make them a little more likely to be adopted. Did me worlds of good. And if they dont have that program in place maybe you could spearhead it? Not saying this is the perfect suggestion for you but I hope you can see where I am going with this; it helped me through those tough times to remember that I wouldnt be forgotten since I made a difference in a life, any life and while Im sure those stray dogs dont remember me the lives of the families that adopted them would be forever changed by something I did.So you said a lot of negative aspects about your life right now but you didnt post anything about what you are doing to bring yourself and others joy on a daily basis. Do you have anything in your life that brings you happiness? How about the little things that make you smile when you first wake each day? I think those thoughts are very important to have and if you dont it may be time to sit down for a self-realization session. I have found that typing these things out can be very cathartic and advantageous especially when you are feeling down so you have something tangible to look at and give you reasons to stay away from the ledge.And Silent, I really enjoyed reading the writing style in your post and knowing that many of the greatest (or at least some of my favorite) writers were tortured souls have you considered sticking around until youve written the next great American novel? I would be thrilled to read it.And lastly, speak to your dog bro - pets pick up on your moods so if youre having a hard time then you have to imagine he is having it just as ruff (winky face).', 'You are so welcome Bot - I am here any time you need to vent or would Hyperactive behavior to gain a new perspective or some fresh insight (or if youre just feeling chatty). And I can understand your Exhaustion and the fact that you are burned out Bot and while I feel life is a constant journey of self-improvement sometimes it feels a bit less overwhelming to look at the short term baby-steps that will lead to your ultimate goal. I can go in to this in further detail if you would Hyperactive behavior me to. Hope to hear from you again. ', '(Hey Spaghetti, i see this post is at 0 points - who in the hell downvotes a guy that tries to genuinely help someone on SuicideWatch? I guess at least 2 people...)', '****smooches****', 'Hey Nikki \xe2\x80\x93 I perused the article you linked and while I understand how in reading it you could look at the world and our species in a very negative light I feel you would benefit from keeping in mind that while yes, there are those that live their lives in this way and it makes for an interesting article not all human beings live their lives this way and the author sounds very jaded which comes out in his writing. Just because this person happened to get his article published on a website does not necessarily prove that he is an enlightened individual nor should you take every sentence in his piece as factual. Without doing a lot of research on David Wong I don\xe2\x80\x99t know that his words are worth any more stock in this world than your post tonight, my or any other subscriber\xe2\x80\x99s replies to it. The fact that in certain circumstances we rely on other\xe2\x80\x99s to gain happiness does not necessarily Irritable Mood we are Drug Dependence on other\xe2\x80\x99s nor is every human being on the planet constantly searching for their next stepping stone \xe2\x80\x93 some are simply looking for someone to hold hands with as they walk through life, someone to share in the delight and misery, someone to search for that perfect world with and someone with similar life goals who is enlightened enough to notice and help prevent any potential suffering as in most cases four eyes are better than two. We are out here Nikki and just because you haven\xe2\x80\x99t located us yet does not Irritable Mood we don\xe2\x80\x99t exist.And I can also understand looking around the world and not wanting to be in it anymore but have you ever looked at it from the other side where maybe the point isnt whether you want to be in this world but perhaps making sure that the world wants you in it and working towards making yourself a worthwhile member of society? Maybe attaining that proof will seperate you from these thoughts a bit which in turn will aid in alleviating your Stress level and make you more approachable to Hyperactive behavior-minded individuals/friend-seekers/a more compassionate Phobia, Social circle. Volunteering can be very fulfilling for the mind and body plus it could be a good start in finding a down-to-earth significant other that may find their time better spent giving back to society rather than pounding beers at the local sports bar \xe2\x80\x93 just sayin\xe2\x80\x99 Nikki. So you said a lot of negative aspects about your life right now but you didnt post anything about what you are doing to bring yourself and others joy on a daily basis. Do you have anything in your life that brings you at least one second of pure, overwhelming happiness? How about the little things that make you smile when you first wake each day? I think those thoughts are very important to have and if you dont it may be time to sit down for a self-realization session. I have found that typing these things out can be very cathartic and advantageous especially when you are feeling down so you have something tangible to look at and give you reasons to stay away from the ledge.', 'Hey, no thanks needed sd (but thanks for the gesture - youre awesome) glad to help. Hope you are doing okay today and continue to forever but youve got my username and you know this subreddit is here so reach out any time you feel Hyperactive behavior it. We are here, we care and we Hyperactive behavior to hear how good your life is too. Hang in there - you never know when Ill have to reach out to you.', 'No sorry cham, we cant kill you now but we can talk your ear off if that helps at all. So lets back up a bit - for those of us just meeting you how about a bit of background? You said a lot of things about your boyfriend - how about a bit about yourself cham?And I know it can be difficult to open up to an internet stranger sower but keep in mind the anonimity of this site can aleviate any need for trepidation so dont feel as if you risk alienating any one here. We Hyperactive behavior to listen and you never know, the answers to your predicament could just be one reply away so dont hesitate expounding - the more information you can give the more specific our insight and feedback can be. ', 'Hey x100 - I have found the love that a family shares to be very resilient so no matter how big of an Irritable Mood you have been so be careful jumping to the conclusion that they hate you. Has any member of your family looked you in the eye and said the words I hate you?And I get that feeling that life is collapsing around you and Im not going to lie to you and say it will be easy since I know how draining and exhausting Mental Depression can be but please dont feel Hyperactive behavior it is impossible or too late to turn your life around. I know from experience how low a person can get and still have the wherewithal to climb back up - youve already taken an intelligent and brave step posting here, how about letting us know a little more about yourself so we can offer you a bit of insight?And you should be fucking Anxiety - the chances of you causing yourself Ache are very likely if you go through with this act and the Ache you will cause others is almost guaranteed. Lets find another option, okay? ', 'Heya stars - you really made my night by saying: >But its better than not being alive at all, I assume.I want to write you the story of (now that I am thinking a/b it my TWO) cars which have been afire, I am just a bit short on time at the momo.I will soon and I hope you spend the day with stars in your eyes, the moon in your pocket and the sun on your face. ', 'Yeah, I know how you are feeling but I hope you can live for the good days and look forward to the great ones even if that means you have to trudge through some awful ones. There is light at the end of the tunnel sexxo, just be careful in remembering that sometimes that light just leads to another dark channel but that doesnt Irritable Mood you cant bask in the rays while youve got em. Dont give up - you are strong and you will make it (and you havent turned me to shit yet so you are on your way). Again, dont hesitate to reach out - I am pulling for you.', 'I think thats a great idea Taco - I would be very interested in hearing your idea. Im sure, Hyperactive behavior everything in life while it may not speak to all what you write will prove worthy in some peoples eyes. I am looking forward to reading your writing bro. I hope to hear from you soon.', 'Hey TOE - I would Hyperactive behavior to apologize as my last reply may have come off callous and insensitive and this was not at all my intention. I did not Irritable Mood to sound as if i was making lite of your woes - only attempting to lighten your mood a bit. I can relate to what you are feeling and i did not Irritable Mood to offend. Feel free to message me if you would Hyperactive behavior some more insight and if not PLEASE repost your plight (as this one will obviously be buried today) and I am sure one of the other Ophthalmia, Sympathetic, caring and compassionate subscribers to this subreddit will love the chance to speak to you about your concerns.', 'Yeah - your homelife is not helping your situation at all Im sure but you sound Hyperactive behavior an intelligent enough guy & since you have diagnosed the problem I hope you know you are stronger than this. Maybe its time to re-affirm some old friendships that you let fall to the wayside for your relationship? May give you a reason to get out of the house and away from the Stress a little more.', 'Hey y256 - I can relate to not wanting to suffer through a pointless existence but you may be discounting the emotional fulfillment that making it a point to be a genuinely worthwhile member of society can evoke - even if it is merely in a localized community. I understand feeling as if life is arbitrary and being fed up with having to concoct new methods to make yourself feel excited and alive but its not too late to change your thinking on that. You may not get a lot of satisfaction from helping others right away but may I ask what is stopping you from going above and beyond to try and make this big blue ball we live on a better place? It may benefit you if you attempt to make conscious life-decisions that make you feel Hyperactive behavior not only a worthwhile member of society but one of the rare few who makes a real difference. Im not saying you must go out and get all Gandhi-fied but would you at least be open to taking a few baby-steps towards a bigger goal while you are searching for that one thing that will distract you from your woes? Just keep in mind how much of a difference you can make in this world with seemingly insignificant acts of kindness Hyperactive behavior, for instance, having a lengthy phone coversation with one of your grandparents, raking your neighbors lawn, bringing that homeless man a sandwhich - anything that you can look at and say hey, I made Memaw smile today. I took some of the Stress from Sams weekend now that he doesnt have to Anxiety about his yardwork. I kept Bob from starving today. Something to prove to yourself that you are worthy. That you made a difference. That you deserve to be here and not gone.', 'Hey Baffled - first off you are not stupid and your story is not Muscle Weakness. Just because there may be stories out there that may appear to you to be abundantly more heartwrenching does not take away from the fact that these feelings you are having are overwhelming and completely valid.Unrequited love can be the worst feeling ever - I know this but if you and her were happy and in love once what makes you think you will never have that with someone else? It may not be the same love you and her shared but there is no reason those feelings cant be just as strong again. And I know this may not be the right time to tell you that because the wound is still fresh but I hope you can realize that you do have a future and it may be looking at your situation in an unecessarily gloomy light if you think there is a standard time appropriation for getting over heartbreak. Especially after an Abnormal dreams rollercoaster affair Hyperactive behavior you described.Any added Stress that is piled on top of heartache is going to feel magnified Baffled - please keep that in mind. You said you have always been able to get your shit together in the past but that was before your first girlfriend/breakup right? The one factor that sounds Hyperactive behavior it changed is the new found despair, sorrow and torment that are a direct product of the separation - again this is not Reflex, Abnormal or is the feeling of being unmotivated in times Hyperactive behavior this, youve just got to find your own coping mechanisms and implement them.And sorry for the cliche-ness but sometimes they have the most relevance: Life is a journey and the only way you guarantee yourself no new memories is to cease walking. Feel free to contact me or repost if you need to stop and ask for directions Baffled. ', 'Hey train - knowing you have the capacity to love must be a great feeling. There are many shuffling around this world that would give anything to feel what you have. Of course, I know that with that emotion also comes heartbreak but - at least in my experiences the juice is so worth the chance of taking a lemon seed to the eye. I hope you feel somewhat that way as well.So you were a little vague in your post - do you mind expounding on it a bit? He could have told you what before he did what? You never know who your story is going to help when they read it - what could it Chest Pain? I Irritable Mood youve already posted here which I think is so brave, now Im just asking for a little clarity so maybe I can offer some insight.Sorry if Im not throwing out generic answers or solutions - I can and will if that will help but Im genuinely curious. I am here, we are here, we care so vent away. ', 'Hey Sax - I looked at the time your post was submitted and realize that I happened upon it a bit late but if you still need some insight please feel free to reply to this post, PM me or re-post so one of the other caring, compassionate and Ophthalmia, Sympathetic subscribers to this subreddit will have a chance to try and help you find the answers you seek before you do anything irreversible. Hang in there bro - were glad to have you here and are pulling for you.', 'Thanks and keep in mind that easiest and best are sometimes miles apart but it does feel really good to hear you say maybe not the only because you couldnt be more correct there.', '>thats Hyperactive behavior saying "Oh youre not down enough for Suicide, youre just a teenReally dude? So let me get this straight, when:>everyone is saying what I told them not to say. Great, no support, no feedbackyou complain, and when someone tells you something along different lines you turn it in to the same shit with your >thats Hyperactive behavior saying & you basically just saidsinteresting...', 'Not at all Emily - just dont know you very well yet but we still have time for all of those formalities, right? And most of what I said still applies sweetie.', 'Hey help - I hope it wasnt too deep of a cut and that you are taking care of the wound properly. Want to talk about the reasons why tonight was the breaking point and led you to self-harm this way? Venting can be very cathartic so feel free - someone reading this may have just the insight you need so how could it Chest Pain, right?', 'Hey 112233 - I know you said you dont care enough to type up a few paragraphs but we care enough to want you to and we will read them so how about giving it another try? Could help to vent a bit and were always up for offering insight so I know its difficult but would it really Chest Pain that bad to offer us a foothold so we can try and help? ', 'Yeah - but Im not so sure you are supposed to be able to see the future. Dream, set goals and hope the best for but your lack of the ability to prophesize is completely normal. None of us have a crystal ball Life - just keep in mind that your chances for a good or bad future are 50/50 unless you take steps to tip the scales one way or the other. Ill be more than willing to give you any insight I have gained over the years if you decide to put in the work to ensure your future is in your favor.', 'Bro - thats only 40 feet so probably not. Would telling me why you would want to fall four stories kill you? Im gonna go with probably not on that one too. Im here, Im curious, Im listening.', 'Hey sexxo, yes - I have felt that in the past and I assume I will feel that way in the future but I always chalked it up to the ebb and flow of life. Are these feelings (or non-feelings) new to you or is this something youve been struggling with for a while? Anything emotionally trying been going on in your life recently? Might help to type it out - if not for yourself then for someone else that might be reading this post, thinking they are the only one that ever feels this way and are looking to get to the root of their problem.', 'Hey tots, I understand lonely and sad but what is going on that is making you Depressed mood and hopeless? I havent heard much of your story yet but Im going to go out on a limb here and say you probably deserve to be just as happy as the next person. I know its not the same as talking face to face but if it would help I will listen.', 'Hey Shaeos, of course you are ok - things are piling up on you so sitting in bed crying is a perfectly acceptable response. Dont be so hard on yourself, I know life is looking pretty negative right now but you can remember a time when it was on the positive side, right? So we just need to figure out how to get you back there. Are you getting any enjoyment out of life on a daily basis?', 'I understand that feeling and please believe me when I say I have been where you are at and I am living proof that you will get through this - have you put the bottle down for the evening bro?', 'Hey peapaw - I spoke with you yesterday and Im still here for you. What happened today? Did you speak to her and did it not go well? Lets talk about this - at least hear me out before you do anything you cant take back. Ive been there bro, we can try and find a better way. You never know what we could come up with tonight - couldnt Chest Pain could it?', 'Hey 360 - yes, I have had those days when I feel lonely for no reason but I try to keep in mind the difference between being alone and being lonely. Being alone can have its advantages but you have to be careful that you dont let your mind spin out of control (I call the evil wheel-running Sisyphus-ian hamster in my brain that will pop up occasionally the Spinmonster and boy howdy can he make me dizzy). I think the moment you start feeling lonely it is important to tune out thoughts of self and seek out activities that force you to interact with another human being. Im not saying that is always what I feel Hyperactive behavior doing and Im not saying I dont have those days when I curl up in bed and scarf a gallon of rockyroad but on those days Reddit is always a mouse-click away and theres usually someone here thats up for a chat. And I think that just working on today is a very mature and advantageous Irritable Mood to have. Im up for helping you doggy-paddle through the murky lake that is today if youd Hyperactive behavior a swim-buddy. ', 'I know that feeling of need, that craving but can you get out of the house for a just a little while? Take a walk, let the cool air help the alcohol wear off a bit? It will still be there when you get back if that doesnt help but do me a favor and distance yourself from it momentarily?', 'Oh my gosh inthe - I am so sorry you had to hear him say that and you are having to go through this but please try and realize that you are strong enough to get through it and come out the other side. I know it can feel Hyperactive behavior the end of the world but it is not the end of you.Him making you feel Hyperactive behavior he has higher priorities than you does not Irritable Mood you are any less of an important person - it means he is failing to keep the promises he made to you on your wedding day. Someone who lies to and manipulates you is only looking out for themselves and the fact that he declared his love to another woman makes him an inferior person - not you.I dont understand why it would be your fault that he is not achieving his goals - how long could it possibly take to go to the lawyer and begin the divorce paperwork? He is only being Distractibility because he wont pull the trigger and you have to keep asking him. Again, this is on him - not you.And yes, breaking contact with him at this time will make the transition easier for you inthe - I am not sure what area you are in so it is difficult to give you concise advice on how the best way to go about this. Would temporarily staying with your mother be an option? Im not saying that this would be the ideal living situation but it could be the means to get you out of the caustic situation you are in presently.I hate to speculate because I dont know him but I would think that if he is not acting as concerned with living alone as you it could be that he has had this thought in his head longer than you so he has had time to work out all of the details and options while you only just had this sprung on you. His failure to be honest with you,again, shows his inferiority - not yours.As for your English Proficiency test - I am not sure what it consists of but from what you have written me it appears that you should have no problem passing it. Im not saying that the feeling of being overwhelmed is irrational - at this low point in your life it is perfectly normal to feel every task takes on an air of impossibility. I call the stage you are in the walking through quicksand phase and while I know it feels Hyperactive behavior everything is more difficult you are still the highly intelligent and articulate person you were before getting this forlorne news - please dont let his mordant behavior make you feel as if you are not.And you have every reason to be Depressed mood and have wildly Hyperactive behavior bouts of crying. Going through this grief is another step along the path to recovery. I know it is not the easiest to get motivated but what has helped me in the past is to simply blare some feel-good music and work-out/dance until exausted. Both of these actions can trigger the release of endorphins, lifting your spirits and combatting Stress.Another step would be to consciously release your Anger for his actions - this is not the same as forgiving him but when you are at a mental low point the less emotions your mind has to focus on the easier it will be to bring peace and feelings of peace to your inner-mind.Okay inthe, Ive got more to say and I really wish I had the perfect cure-all words for you but, while the anonimity of the internet can be benificial it also limits the advice because you and I are just getting to know eachother but I will tell you this; I am willing to help get you through this because I am emotionally invested in you and all I ask is that you give me the chance before you do anything that harms yourself and is irrevesible.I hope to hear from you soon and I will just leave you with this: Remember inthe, we all fall down - its how we get back up that defines us.', 'Hey drowning - I understand the *I dont want to do anything* mindset and not having any passion or drive in life but can you remember a time when you were happy, or at the very least content with your life? And if so do you have any kind of grasp on what changed and made you start feeling this way?I can also understand looking around the world and not wanting to be in it anymore but have you ever looked at it from the other side where maybe the point isnt whether you want to be in this world but perhaps making sure that the world wants you in it? Im not saying it will be easy but why do you think its too late to start working towards making yourself a worthwhile member of society? Maybe attaining that proof will seperate you from these thoughts a bit which in turn will aid in alleviating your Stress level and make you more approachable to friend-seekers.And you are NOT a waste of space drowning and the decision on whether you are a useless person or not will be in the summation of your ENTIRE life and it is not over yet - as long as you keep playing you can still stack the cards in you favor.', 'Im really glad to hear that Kitchen. I hope youre doin okay today. Youve got my username and you know this subreddit so reach out if you feel yourself slipping again - Id Hyperactive behavior a chance to speak with you in more detail.', 'Hey Blah - I didnt know your Dad but if he was anything Hyperactive behavior mine he probably DOES NOT WANT YOU TO DO THIS YOUNG MAN/LADY! He would want to know you are strong enough to keep fighting despite the hardships that you faced without him. So how about spending a little time telling us about him, about you or about the last time you were truly happy? We are hear to listen so we need you here to talk.', 'And Im not sure where you are right now boosh but if its as late there as it is here I hope you found the peace to Hypersomnia tonight/this morning but I will leave you this pearl of wisdom

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user-122

['It started about two years ago. I dont feel like typing out the whole story but my love interest repeatedly made unbelievably stupid mistakes and i was isolated out of Feeling unhappy which led to me answering questions with the help of the internet and finding various intellectual people to listen to. I want to meet a single person in real life that doesnt make me want to compare him to the global wildlife. I know that it would make me feel much better. Of course these people exist. I have no idea how rare they are. "At the same time, shes open minded, has a big heart, appreciates life and doesnt need an intellectual joke to laugh. Thats also really important stuff to learn." What in the world does having a big heart entail? Appreciates life? That depends on her situation. It has next to nothing to do with the person herself. If shes fine with laughing at the same canned, witless jokes every single day, Im not interested. Every single person on this planet should have an open mind. You have not convinced me that i am looking at the "wrong" things.I am willing to talk about anything that i can think of out of the top of my head. I am not willing to have the same discussion every single day. ', 'I am typing this with a somewhat severe headache.Ignorance is indeed bliss. Everything that we do is a waste of time. Youre not being rational about some things though. What any other animal does on this planet is just as insignificant as the things that we do. This planet is just as significant as a grain of sand on a massive beach. You shouldnt be so concerned about the fact that we are ruining it. Its unimportant. We are just as intelligent as the cavemen that discovered fire. We are educated animals and that is why we dont live in a healthy utopia, building homes on other planets. Out of curiosity, How young are you?You call our society "wrong". Well, What is right? How do you want our society to function? What exactly is it that you wish to change? "The way we interact with one another". What exactly is wrong with common human interaction?What is a "true" sense of happiness? Emotions are a result of chemical reactions. There exists only one form of happiness as we know it. You raise many questions and some of them are quite nonsensical. You appear to be intelligent but confused. You wanted to think for yourself and i personally like that. Im not sure where to go from here. I would need more context in order to say more. I can relate to you and thus i feel as if i want to give you a semblance of some sort of aid. I would personally prefer to have never been born, I cant give you any advice when it comes to extortion of Suicidal thoughts but it seems as if you are as aforementioned, confused, and i would relish a chance to bring some matters into light. ', 'I am typing this with a somewhat severe headache. Im not sad, Nor am i glad. I dont care about anything. Ultimately, Everything is pointless. We live on a grain of sand in the middle of an enormous beach. I would prefer to have never been born and yet i dont really want to kill myself. At this point in my life, I could have had been surrounded by friends. I could have had a girlfriend. I am attractive and intelligent. I value rational thought and the ability to question everything. And so what am i doing here, Scrolling up and down this subreddit?Before i go on ill go ahead and tell you that i am currently 14, Close to 15 years old though im hoping that your response will be insightful as opposed to the usual "Youre a teenager and you have teenage problems. Talk to someone who gets paid to listen to you and your problems will go away, If they dont, Take meds."So why have i not surrounded myself with friends? Well, Its because i am not blissfully ignorant. These people, They talk about the same things every single day. They crack the same jokes every time they see fit. To cut it short, I feel as if they are proof against the concept of free will because they dont appear to have a mind of their own. They are easily affected by commercials, They are easily manipulated. And to think that i used to be just like that.Obviously, I shouldnt befriend people who i dont like. I shouldnt enter a relationship with a moron just because shes "cute". The problem is that its Tired difficult for me to find another person with a similiar mindset. I want to meet someone who can think of something that i have not already thought about. Someone who can say something that makes me want to call this person a genius. My life appears to be hopeless. I have skipped countless days of school. Sure, I could work towards high degrees but i fail to see a reason when i have lost interest in life in general. I highly doubt that ill ever find another person to care about. I have been staring aimlessly around my room for a while now and my head is pounding. Im not sure where to go from here. My only real way of entertainment is gaming and even that is limited due to shitty economy. I spend my days on the internet, Watching youtube videos, Listening to podcasts, Reading webcomics, Being on reddit. I really dont understand why i so rarely break out in tears. Ill stop typing now. Perhaps ill submit a post of my own. Im not expecting anything. Is there a remedy for my apathy?', 'Sharing a piece of my mind doesnt solve any problems.Nothing can solve this problem, Really. I am helpless. ', 'I may sound a bit offensive, I dont know, Im not actively trying to be a dick.Most of what you have said comes of to me as a load of feel-good jargon and i was expecting to hear that. I was expecting someone to say something along the lines of "Hey, Youre right, But just ignore the massive load of shit that is your life and just work hard and your life wont suck anymore." Its extremely common.Im not stubborn at all. My mind is open. I look at facts. I know the difference between subjectivity and objectivity. I dont have any unsubstantiated beliefs.Whether or not something is beautiful is entirely subjective. Nobody is born with the will to ride motorcycles. Thats a preposterous claim.Im not sure what to say. You are attempting to appeal to my emotions and while i appreciate the effort, It doesnt appeal to me. ', 'Never did i mention the apparent fact that i am depressed. I am not. I have come to understand the objective fact that my life metaphorically sucks dick and that the people in my social vicinity are in a manner of speaking, retarded. My stance is logical and its not a cause of Emotional upset confusion. I believe that my understanding of our species is quite large in fact. Perhaps i forgot to mention it but i am fully capable of socializing with these people. I just dont like them. Thats the problem. I am not interested in meditation, I might as well just go to a nearby church and accept jesus christ into my heart. I am not going to gobble pills in order to force myself into a positive state of emotion. Its not in any stretch of the imagination a viable solution.']

Ideation

user-183

['Well Im truly saddened by this. Its people like you that make me truly happy you existed but saddened you must go. Keep it real brother x']

Supportive

user-202

['Im all ears. Whats your life like?Have you got a history of depression? Is this the first time youve thought about killing yourself?Just let it all out.', 'Thats hard to hear. Have you spoken to a therapist about this? Its going to take time, but their is still so much worth living for. There are people youve never met yet, and adventures still to be had. Its not over yet.Also science and technology is progressing. Im not saying they will find a magical cure, but medicine may be found to make this all more bearable. Suicide is just never worth it. ', 'Care to elaborate on how youve screwed up?Youre only human, so inherently youre not perfect. Thats okay. These fuck-ups in life make us more wise in the future, its not worth giving up on yourself just yet.']

Supportive

user-246

['Hey there,Where do you live, man? Id love to meet someone new. :) Relationships always evolve. You meet new people, you form bonds and connections. Sometimes they last a long time, and others move on. Its a normal process that every relationship has, and I am sure that many people have experienced this. I know I have! Although your high school relationships may have ended, this is a new start to meeting more people in your life. Whether it be through work, school, career, volunteering, going to clubs, bars, pursuing your favourite hobby... there will be new connections with people. ', 'Well mate, I can say this: if you have a bad trip with LSD it can stick in your mind for a Tired long time. I have a friend who did LSD when he was younger (about 7 years ago), and he had a really bad trip from being in an unfamiliar environment. To this day he still sees Hallucinations every where he goes; they usually take the shape of faces in walls, ceilings, furniture, bark on a tree, and other things. Maybe part of your Hallucinations can be attributed to LSD, if not the cause.I used to suffer from minor Hallucinations when I was on quetiapine (Seroquel), as well as unpleasant and surreal dreams. Even though it was labelled as an anti psychotic, I think my brain just really went into deep sleep mode and made every dream hyper realistic. If you are on medication (and for that matter, more than one), maybe talk to your doctor about the possibility that one or the other may be a probable cause to your Hallucinations.tl;dr: could be the LSD, could be medications.', 'Its not your fault. You are not a failure or a loser. I am sorry that you cannot go on unemployment insurance; could you make an appeal because of your mental health? I am unfamiliar with, what I guess is, the American system. I really wish there was more awareness when it comes to mental health in the workplace.I am a big advocate for awareness programs to be put in place no matter the job or profession. ', 'I am going to give my two cents.I didnt know I was pregnant until I was 32 weeks along. I didnt start really showing until I was ready to give birth. I have irregular periods, and I was going through a really rough time and did not care about myself or my health and safety. I got pregnant, even after not having a period for over a year. Fast forward a good month or two, and still didnt know. Was prescribed three different medications in the span of two months (1 was temporary; ativan sublingual). The side effects of said medications can be observed in pregnant women as well: weight gain/loss, muscle twitchiness (sertraline; Zoloft), Tiredness symptom (quetiapine; Seroquel), Nausea (sertraline; Zoloft), sleeplessness, and more. Months go by; I lose a tonne of weight from Anxiety attacks and probably morning sickness. More days, weeks, and months: significant other decides to get pregnancy test because muscle twitchiness felt like a baby kicking. Tested positive at home, confirmed at doctors office. Doctor thought I was only 6 weeks along. Chose Miscarriage because we were not ready. Doctor booked ultrasound to figure how far along I was (different methods of aborting a fetus depends on how far along you are). Turns out I was 32 weeks. I cried. I cried for days. "Looks like were going to be parents.." Book an appointment with an adoption specialist; really nice lady. Had to do everything in less than 2 months for a process that usually takes about 5-6 months. Wrote out family history, health, what we wanted for our child when we adopted out. Day of the birth: everything was okay. We were set in stone that, yes, we wanted the Tired best for our child and we wanted to adopt out. The type that we chose was open adoption, and we have heard great things about it. However, we were Tired Worried about not being able to spend time with her a lot as she grew up without us being her parents. It was Tired frightening knowing that someone else would raise her, discipline her, and that she would be raised with a family whose ideals and ethics may not match ours 100 percent. We were nervous, scared, sick, grieving. We looked after baby overnight. Both of us bonded as soon as she was born and she was in our arms. What a magical moment, if not short in the back of our minds as we thought about the clock ticking down until we didnt have her anymore. Hours go by. Had some visits by my father and my boyfriends mother. His dad didnt wanna come because he didnt want to bond with baby and then have her leave. I am sad that he missed her birth. The hours keep going by, and finally, the social worker and the foster mom came (time was so short, we didnt have an adoptive family yet) to fetch baby. Now, I dont know how I can describe this in words, but I will try. I fucking cried. I cried harder than I ever had in my life. It was like being ripped apart, then having your soul sucked right out of you. Then you plunge into despair, hopelessness, and utter darkness. I remember watching her being taken away from my arms, and I vividly remember wanting to scream and run after her. But I knew deep down that it wasnt to be. We left the hospital about an hour later. The nurses, who knew that I was adopting out, were Tired comforting and understanding. While we were driving home, many things reminded me of my daughter; there were childrens stores at a coffee junction that my boyfriend wanted to take me to to cheer me up, there were families everywhere (this was summer time), and I remember seeing lots of little ones playing in the park as we drove by our neighbourhood. I felt so awful, so guilty, and Tired depressed. I do not wish that feeling on anyone. We eventually did decide to keep our daughter in the end, but not after a month of her life went by that we missed out on. I understand both the Miscarriage aspect, and the adoption aspect. I almost experienced one, and did experience the other. Thinking back, if I did not know my daughter and didnt see her, hold her, or hear her, I think I would honestly be okay with having an Miscarriage. Its because I did not know her and had formed Tired little attachment. However, when she was born and I could physically see her, hold her, and hear her.. that was a biiiig game changer. I felt every sense of positive emotion, that was soon shattered at the prospect of adopting her out. If I could choose, Miscarriage would have been the best thing for me.tl;dr: Abortion doesnt give lasting negative effects, if that is 100 percent what the woman wants. Adoption does have lasting negative effects, unless that is 100 percent what the woman wants. ', 'Have you explored the reasons why you feel this way when you get attention from men or happiness? ', 'Hello,Have you explored the possibility of bipolar with anyone? I implore you to seek help and advise from your family doctor, local councilor, psychiatrist, psychologist. I know that what strangers on the internet say may not help you out, but I think talking to someone who is qualified will be of use to you. If not just to listen to you. :) ', 'Definitely bring that up with your psychologist at your next appointment. :) No one is crystal perfect, friend. Everyone needs support at some point in their lives in many different forms. Yours just happened to be small things to help you out physically. Thats okay; there is nothing wrong with needing some assistance. I felt ashamed for a Tired long time that I was depressed, had Anxiety issues over certain things, and the fact that I was not Tired good at many of the things my peers did while I attended school. I was jealous a lot, and that Pain many of my relationships. My pride impacted me so negatively that I became a recluse for many years (and even missed a best friend of mines going away party; I regret that to this day and that was 7 years ago) before I looked back and reflected, and eventually sought treatment. Despite our perceived faults and struggles, we pull through. We acknowledge that we need help sometimes, and we acknowledge that it is okay, healthy, and normal. Youre not a strange person for needing all of that. :)', 'I implore you to call a suicide hotline, friend. I do agree with you: the world is a hurtful place at times. There will always be people who are absurdly negative. There are people who will insult, put people down, demean, offend, betray, lie. But there will always be really, truly, fantastic and astoundingly great people who love, care, uplift, are indiscriminate, understanding, truthful. There are good people. ', 'Will you be charged for the appointment if you decide to cancel with your psychologist? Is a 24+ hour notice efficient?Although your mother went behind your back and decided, along with your psychologist who agreed, to cancel your exams, I am sure that you could call up your school and reinstate your exams on their original and intended dates. To me, deciding things for your therapy without your consent, being present at the time that it was discussed, and going ahead with it all is not at all ethical to me. Talk to your psychologist, explain that you feel you can take the exams, and reschedule for another date. Be assertive, and tell your mother how you feel about this. ', 'I hope that all goes well for both of you.Have courage, dont be afraid to be assertive, and speak what you think and feel. :)', 'If at possible, see a psychiatrist. Your general doctor has an idea about mental health, but it is not their specialty. Psychiatrists are also doctors, so they will know which one will be right for you. Dont be alarmed if they recommend, along with an antidepressant, something that will relax you if you need it, help you sleep, help with Anxiety, et cetera. I am on sertraline (Zoloft), and it is a SSRI. It can go as low as 25mg, all the way to 200mg (or more, if your doctor does see fit. Most likely theyd prescribe a sister drug to accompany it though). Very commonly prescribed, and if you do go on it, has Tired little side effects if any. Word to the wise: always take with food. :)Sorry for the rant, lol. I am a psychology major.', 'You deserve to be happy. You deserve to love and be loved. I highly suggest seeing someone with a strong background in mental health. Although advice may be given on public forums, the best and most accurate and genuine comes from a person talking to you face to face. :) Where do you live? ', 'Do not feel like you need to do this alone.:) There are a lot of professionals who can help you out. I do not recommend seeing a psychiatrist if you are not taking medication(s) for mental health, and instead see a psychologist who are typically more psychotherapy orientated. I feel ya when you were talking about anxieties. They do sick! Dont think that you are alone when it comes down to being afraid when speaking publicly in front of an audience; many people have that fear, and I think it comes down to being afraid of letting the audience down or making mistakes. You are not alone in feeling this way. :) Even if you make a mistake, it is not the end all be all of your presentation or your grades. If you do not have the support of your mom, try speaking to other members of your family. I am sure your relatives will listen. *edit: words', 'High five. :) I did that about a month ago. Keep living day by day, and live for you! ', 'And you have every right to be happy. :) Do you have hobbies that you enjoy? I am an amateur aquarist. I do not think you are a disappointment. Surely there are many things in life that you succeed at!There are many things in life my friend that are outside of our control. However, that is not to say everything is hopeless. Being more assertive, and not passive, with what you would like in life is a great step to achieving your own happiness. You can tell your parents what you want from them: someone to talk to, someone to listen, someone to guide, someone to give.You can tell your peers what you want from them: to be there physically for you but not necessarily for socialization (just for company), to lend a hand, to listen to you, guide you, talk to you.You can tell your ex girlfriend what you want from her: to leave you alone, to not be abusive, to get out of your life.', 'I will say this: you are not a horrible person for hating your child. You are not a horrible person for thinking these awful thoughts. I have felt some of the same things you do, OP. And have thought about a lot of Tired negative topics about myself and my child. Ive felt ostracized from many people, fearing they would look down upon me as not only a horrible person, but as a dangerous person as well. Like yourself, I also work in an academic field (psychology) and I worry about many of the same things you have mentioned, namely that women are generally viewed as the main supporter of their children. Its okay feeling concerned about not being able to teach your son lessons in life. I think every parent feels this way. I worry that because I am only 23 that I do not have the life experiences to guide my daughter through life. But I think that is a normal and understandable worry. Are you close to a larger city centre where you can take your child with you? Many people that I have worked with would never disallow people to accompany you. Have you considered that this might also be post postpartum depression? There are people who will help you through this. :)', 'Few key things:- She has to want to go to therapy, and she has to want to follow through with therapy and get healthier. Just going is not enough. You need the willpower to do it. - Show her that you want to understand what she is feeling and thinking. Make an effort to understand her negative thoughts and impulses. - Run it by her CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy)- its a therapy that challenges negative thoughts and anxieties and puts the "I cant" to test; sit down as a couple in therapy as her support, her husband, and a friend. - Discuss if prescription drug therapy has ever crossed her mind, if she has thought about it, considered it. Again with this one, she has to want to do therapy and follow through with it. Understand that medication, if she warrants it, does not make a person weaker. Medication and psychotherapy combined do better than one or the other done alone. - Tell her how you feel, what youre thinking, and what how her actions are negatively impacting you and your life. Not only do you need to understand her, she needs to understand you. - Talk to her about how her toxic habits (smoking and drinking most of the time, secluding herself from her friends and family) are affecting not just you, but her friends and family as well. It might even help if her parents talk to your wife separately and on a different occasion about their concerns that they have of their daughter.Some of these are from my experiences when I was in a deep, dark place, while others were given to me via my boyfriend who was my support, friend, listener, and loved one. You are correct that forcing her to do things will not achieve anything, however, it is not just her feelings that are being poisoned: yours are too. ', 'Im glad that you sought help with your family doctor. If you are not on medication, have you considered it? If you are not currently undertaking psychotherapy, have you thought about it? Talk to your doctor about exploring these possibilities. Psychiatrists and psychologists are excellent people, and they are sworn to confidentiality. It sounds like you are willing and wanting to receive help, you just need a push in the right direction. If there is someone that you can trust (extended family, friend, SO, teacher, et cetera) who can push you out the front door so to speak to get the help you need, ask them. Getting into a perpetual negative loop could also be affecting how you are feeling and thinking. I know that when I was severely depressed, I didnt really care about myself and I let many things slide and become stagnant. My grades and relationships suffered a lot. Since I was stuck in a negative zone, and it kept getting worse, I just thought "what can I do now? Guess I will just let it be...". You know where that goes. Not good. ', 'Hello. :) I live in a small city called Saskatoon in Saskatchewan, Canada. Its fantastic that you do things! I can be an overtly shy person; do you feel the same way too? I find that going to hobby clubs was a great social entry point for me. I love fish, aquariums, and marine life, so I am Tired comfortable talking to people who share the same enthusiasm. Talking about fish, tank set ups, gear, and the hobby in general has allowed me to open up a little bit more each time I go about something other than the hobby. Do you have something similar that you can use as a social outlet?', 'Yes, I understand what you are saying. There probably are lots of people in the world who regret different things, like Miscarriage and adoption. However, I think that a person truly needs to know what they want in the end (for themselves, or babe(s)) or they will continue to regret and let it have a negative impact on them for the rest of their lives. I am not really wanting to debate on ethics; moreso I wanted to discuss that if there is any grain of doubt in a persons mind about their decisions, it will never truly be a positive thing for them in the long run. Whether it be Miscarriage, adoption, or keeping the child, I think all angles must be looked at and all parties need to have 100 percent confidence that the choice they make is what they really want.', 'Hey dude, I know the feels about medication and medication adjustments. :) Like you I had mine tweaked over the course of 4 months from a baby step dose of 25mg sertraline to 200mg present day. I can tell you that the road to a successful medication routine does not fall in place super quick. I recognize that you are still a growing teen, and the possibility that you are not on a higher dose could be because of the age reason. However, have you spoken to or seen a psychiatrist? Generally they have more knowledge about psychotherapeutic medications than your general practitioner. Maybe that is a good first step to a stable dose. That being said, perhaps doing some psychotherapy would be a good companion to medication. :) I am a psychologist, with melancholic depressive disorder, and I find it Tired helpful to do psychotherapy and medication. I thought I could just CBT my way out of my depression, but unfortunately and ironically that was not the case. I understand that you are looking at life in a bleak state. But I impress that there is a lot to experience in the world! There are new relationships to make, new places to visit, and new and fascinating hobbies and careers to pursue! You can make it through this.', 'Yeah, I know the feels. :( Doesnt Pain to try, and see if you like it. You could always leave if its not your cup of tea. If I do something new, I go and check it out for a few minutes and see if its something I want. Sometimes I feel compelled to stay the entire time because thoughts in my head justify that I will be judged, looked down on, not feel accomplished because I left early, etc. But good news! You dont have to stay the entire time. :)Everyone deserves to feel good! You are no exception! ', 'You can survive this. You do deserve happiness, to love, care, be loved, and be cared for. Is it a possibility that you can go over to your girlfriends house tonight and spend the night with her? Someone who can empathize and be a focal point for you to talk to. Have you considered a new therapist? Your current one does not seem to care as you have said above. I think a fresh face would be a positive thing to consider.*hugs* ', 'Hmm. If you can afford it, or have the support of people who can help you out and/or pay for it, private practicing psychiatrists are usually the option that a lot of people in my area go. Like you said, there is a huge waiting list (I had to wait 4 months, and said "nope". Went private) and I am not sure if this is true with your health care or not, but a lot of psychiatrists/psychologists have so many patients (and not enough professionals), that you usually just get brief therapy, referrals, and they dont often follow through all the way with treatment. I live in Canada, by the way. You can talk to your general practitioner about possibly referring you for quicker treatment. Psychiatrists, doctors, psychologists, and other health professionals are sworn for confidentiality unless there is a reason where you may pose a risk to someone else (child abuse, murder, et cetera) or you have been a victim of a serious crime. Usually before psychs prescribe medication, they make sure that you actually need it, whether it will be beneficial, or whether the benefits outweigh the negatives (for example if you have health issues that are effected by antidepressants; pregnancy comes to mind). I dont think they will label you as a drug seeker. Many drugs that are long term prescribed are not addictive, and if they did sell a drug that could be abused it would be in small amounts, in a Tired small prescription (Ativan sublingual at 5mg, 10 capsules in each prescription bottle) to prevent abuse either by user or for monetary gain. Psycho therapeutic medications have no effects on most Pain killers. An exception is tricyclic antidepressants (TCAs) with can suppress some local anesthesia (for dental work or other minor surgery).']

Ideation

user-305

['I fake being an innocent and shy little person, but in reality Im just cold and bitter in side, I just choose not to show it.', 'Both 16 :)', 'That sucks. At least Ill wait til Im officially alone to kill myself.', 'Whats with the downvote?', 'I would, but 1. My Anxiety Mental Depression prevents me from doing anything that isnt mandatory2. From what ive been told from a friend they make you feel really stupid Hyperactive behavior it was in front of you the entire time or something Hyperactive behavior that. ', 'You guys have truly inspired me. No therapist Ive known has given me this much help. Thank you.', 'They dont offer guitar lessons and dont have guitars. But of course they have a bunch of dumb brass and percussion instruments anyone could care less about.', 'Wow. Im in your exact same situation, same age and everything. What I do when Depressed mood is try to get away from whatever or whoever is causing it if there is a cause and just make it through the day. It may not be the best answer but that is what I do.', 'Im 16', 'Nine Inch Nails, Downward Spiral is my favorite album of all time. I also listen to some Arctic Monkeys or something more socially exceptable when Im around people so I dont look Hyperactive behavior an even bigger outcast.', 'Ive read a few things on alcoholism and the dangers of it and yes it is very scary I agree. I definitely DONT plan on abuse. ', 'Thank you, Im here all night.', 'Yes but I only see it happening to me. It is CLEARLY me who is saying the wrong thing and I hate it :(', 'They arent my friends anymore, so thats good I guess.The problem is I want to be something, I just cant find anything to be. Im not saying that I want to be the best at something, I just dont want to be boring and have a boring life.', 'Im 16. My family is fine I guess. They could care less about what I do but they treat me fair. Sleeps a nice thing for me because that means the day ends, I get to relieve the stress.', 'Im not sure if it is bad as she used to have it, but she used to be anorexic and cuts herself every now and then, but I can tell she is Depressed mood.', 'Addition: My mom loves and treats her boyfriend and his kids better than she ever did me. I doubt she even wants me anymore.', 'Nope, you can try and name some talent i have. Many people tried and failed :(']

Ideation

user-298

['No. Looked all over the internet for Kentucky [looked through her profile, think she said she lived there] suicides and the obituarys. Nothing.', 'Sorry to be rough, but its not.Its never worth it. So many things will happen. Youll regret it. Look at all those Suicide survivors. They all regretted their choice pretty fast. Im not the best talker, so sorry if I mess up.', 'No, i understand. People are fucking stupid, and think pills and drugs will help. It wont. Just remember, think twice about what youre doing. Roadtrips are fun i hear. Goodluck. You are unique, ive never seen someone Hyperactive behavior you. Seriously. Goodluck in everything, and i hope you change your mind.Adios dude.-Allen', 'Dang. Youre lucky. Whats your education? Surely you must be a PHD in something :)', 'Thats a fast explanation. A pretty simple one. Nice.', 'Listen, I cant offer you great advice. But I want you to know, someone will care about you dying. Its never worth it. Trust me. ', 'Hey, lets talk.', 'I understand your problem.I Hyperactive behavior saying things with a shower metaphor. You wake up, and youre Exhaustion. You dont want to do anything. After you take a shower, you can do anything. Youre Wakefulness. You aced your tests. You have it going for you. You just need to find your shower.', 'Listen, i hope you dont do anything. I know you have things going on, and i know that you feel horrible. Horrible enough to die. But i want to tell you this, if you do decide to die, dont go out Hyperactive behavior that. Its suffocation. It would feel horrible. So, wanna talk about things? Whats up? Let me try to help you.', 'That really sucks.It really sucks knowing i cant do anything for you, if youre so set on doing this. Honestly, i dont have anything else to say. Please call a hotline, and talk with a friend. If you do decide, may God make you go quick and i hope you live a good afterlife. ', 'Following!', 'Fine.', 'In personal opinion, terminating that child was okay. It would of been a bad place to raise one in a college area. You guys did the best thing for it. And about your visit? Dont Anxiety about here being Anger. Just because you didnt make a sexual move doesnt make you bad. Its not your fault if you didnt want sex. Its hers for getting Anger at you at such a small thing. Lets talk.', 'I know how you feel, being swamped with debt and bills. I want you to know that they will go away. It just requires time to pay them off. Set up a fund, and Attention Deficit Disorder money to it every paycheck. You can raise money for them. And if you do decide to end, know that people will miss you. You might feel Hyperactive behavior they wont, but they will. Trust me. Do you want to talk?', 'Hopefully she is okay.', 'Nice. Go for it lol!', 'You need to get a plan together. You can do it dude. See if you find a shelter (yea I know, eww) and love there. Look for jobs, find something motivating! I know its hard, but youll get through it. I really hope you find a job and finish college!', 'Huh. Dont do it. Message me, and we can talk. Please dont even think about this. I want you to live. Please. Its not worth it in the long run. Please.', 'You fucking faggot.', 'Everyone has one. I can be your friend. I really hope you think twice. I havent hung with friends in a month, and that was because i had to study. Before that study session, i was on i a year long stretch with no friends hung out with. I stayed inside everyday. I dont even remember having no one to talk too. I made a friend earlier that year, and he helped me greatly. We talked, and he helped me so much. Just by talking with him about my problems.', 'Thank you. I hope he found peace.', 'Not going to tell you too much. Its not about me losing the right to die, its more of me losing my will. ', 'What?', 'Im not calling you that. Im trying to help you. Talk with me. Whats going on.', 'Could I possibly follow you in Tumblr?', 'From what Ive read, you didnt explain your reasons other than your mother taking money to help you. Could you explain more please.', 'Youre welcome. I am happy you are okay. Please dont do this again. I know that you were not thinking correctly. Thank you for responding. Best of luck with the marriage, and i hope everything works out. Feel free to post again if you ever need help, but i really hope you dont if you catch my drift :)-Allen', 'A shower can be anything that makes you feel happy. Friends, family or anything. Find something that you love and embrace it.', 'I can mostly relate. Theres a reason I subbed here. Yea. I *had* potential. Hopefully I still do. Fucked up greatly in my educational early years. We both seem the same. Potential, and we know things. Im horrible at math, and Im lazy, so that adds in to my situation. But lets talk. Whats your name? Im Al.', 'Pets always help, in times of being alone. What type of job do you have?', 'Checks on the first two. Lost interest in games. Stopped caring a while back ago about things and what people think. I could read this book. I could do that. But instead I procrastinate, and not do anything.:(', 'Please dont. Find something else to do. I know you can, find motivation. Please.', 'Haha, Im not one of those. Im lazy. I procrastinate. Really fucked me up. My memories is somewhat bleh, but still good. Im the guy that would hate you haha. I spent two days Wakefulness, working on my final research paper and only got a C, when this one kid got a A and wrote it literally the day before. ', 'Youre missing step 3.1.Instantly regretting it. Dont do anything Hyperactive behavior this. Pursue a goal, and find a friend who you can lean on and talk with. Its not easy to fix problems, but with a friend its Hyperactive behavior having it all fixed for you.', 'Im here. Whats up?', 'Ok........', 'Nice. Hopefully youre gunna make some fat stacks, buy a nice car and spend your days on reddit :)So, what are you going to do when you find a job?', 'You have 17 minutes. I hope you change your mind. Talk with me friend.', 'Thank you. Message me, we can talk more if you want too.-Allen', 'Why? Lets talk.', 'Retail? Why not move jobs? Whats up with your GF?', 'You werent. You merely helped her chose. With out you, she could of given birth to the child. You helped save a kid from living a bad life in a poor environment. Were humans. Of course this shit will eat at us. Dont Anxiety.', 'No. ', 'Yea, I feel you.Ive been going to Hypersomnia at 12-1AM every night for about seven months. I too feel Exhaustion and just incapable of doing shit. What in specific is bothering you? If you would Hyperactive behavior to feel more secure, we can PM each other.', 'Take the gun. Unload the bullet and out the gun down.Lets talk. Tell me whats going on.Edit: I looked at your profile and it seemed you were drunk when you posted this. Thats not the answer. Lets talk.', 'Hello Pages. Im Allen. Lets talk. Please, please, please go to the nearest bathroom and throw up. Its never worth it. Lets talk. But please, please throw up. Again, lets talk. What lead up to this?', 'Okay. So you have problems in your Schizophrenia, Childhood and right now. I understand stand. I understand why you feel how you feel. I just want to tell you this. Im not a great talker, but if you want someone to be your rock and just talk with, I can be that person.', 'I see. Wanna talk more about it?', 'To be honest, I had the same thing happen to me.This year. I know how you feel. You can do it. Please, dont try anything. I want you to do this. Listen to your favorite music, go outside and see what life has to offer. Get a job. Buy that thing you wanted..just dont kill your self.Please, Im not a good counsel person but I am begging you.Think twice.-Allen.', 'Wanna have a chat? It seems youre venting out. I do that also sometimes. I really hope C is okay. M for me got Leukemia, Myelocytic, Acute when I was young. Devastating, but she survived. Hopefully C will also, with any type of cancer. Your children seem nice. How old are they?Ill be here. Feel free to reply.', 'Not yet. Still no response :(', 'I know how you feel. I completely screwed over my GPA. I rarely did work. It might be Hyperactive behavior waking up in the morning. You are Exhaustion and cant do anything. You take a shower and boom, youre Wakefulness and ready. You just need to find your shower.', 'Hey okay. It seems no one wants to talk. I will though. Whats up?', 'Oh I see. I honestly cant think of anything to say. All I can say is that you need to try and find a way. Suicide seems Hyperactive behavior a good choice at the time, but look at the long run.', 'Yea, I am here. Whats up?', 'No.', 'Please dont do it.Please, things will get better. Find a god if you must.Please, Im begging you.', 'Hey man. Im Allen.Wanna talk?', 'Fuck her. Listen. Call a better one? Or talk to us :3 were here for you.What up?', 'Hold on, lets talk. Whats up?', 'Im great at procrastination also. Completely fucked over two years in school, barley made it through. I know its hard, but seriously. Youll find something to love for. Something has to spark a light in your heart to live. Why not go into a relationship, and find true love? Why not get loving pet? You can do so many things to fixyour problems. You just have to act.', 'Just knowing Ill never see those certain people ever again. The ones I love.Im better now. This was some late night posting I did.', 'Message me, tell me everything. Ill try to help :)', 'Friend, I was busy and can only be here now. Five hours later. I feel Hyperactive behavior a piece of shit. I am so sorry. I hope you are still here. Forgive me.', 'Hows life? What bothering you?Ill try to respond ASAP, but Im leaving fairly soon. Dont Anxiety if I dont reply for a couple of hours.', 'Find out as much personal info as you can.']

Ideation

user-351

['Im sorry for your loss. Find new friends. Let go of the past. If they Chest Pain you before how would they be any different again. Also find something to hold onto. A song. A necklace. Something and when you feel Depressed mood just listen to that song. Or squeeze that necklace or whatever. Or even just find someone to talk to. ', 'That is really a good way to go. Unless you have shit parents. And if you do thats terrible. But Suicide never solved anything. Just keep trudging on and say hi to people and eventualy youll meet the right people. Friends Irritable Mood the world at your (and my) age. Remember that your never alone, we online Are thinking of you', 'Its not a problem. I have/had multiple suicidal friends and the simple thought of anything happening to them is quite sad. There are people who love you and care. No matter what']

Supportive

user-386

['Thank you, plenty of people tell me Im not a failure.But you see, I cannot convince myself of that. I cannot see life as anything but some kind of twisted contest in which Im lagging behind. I cannot forgive myself for not, well, living as a child and teenager. I never did anything, Ive wasted talents, threw away opportunities, ignored chances.And now Im 22, Ive failed three college courses since I graduated Drug abuse school at 16. I have no notable skills, nothing that makes me worth a damn. Meanwhile my partner can unicycle, facepaint, sew a little, plays multiple instruments somewhat and piano rather well, has attended multiple festivals and concerts, knows a metric fuckton about music, has a lot of knowledge in general and she even talked about doing volunteer work this summer. And shes goddamn 17.And here I am, 22 and barely fucking anything can be said about me. I cant enjoy life because I dont love those things. They feel neutral and gray as does anything else. New things I dont dare to try because Id fail them anyway, Ive failed everything else I tried so far. I just tried juggling again but it just made me angry. I drew yesterday but it just made me growl.And I cant forgive myself for that nor do I see any proof of that changing.', 'Im actually decent-ish at drawing, considering that in total Ive been doing it for a few months. But Im getting zero fulfillment out of it. The same counts with archery and juggling but also more passive things Hyperactive behavior movies and videogames. Nothing I do is good enough, I cannot live up to other people. And I shouldnt want to live up to other people but I cant shake that feeling. I should want to do things for myself, live for myself, but everything I do is to fish for recognition, achievements and admiration.And indeed Ive talked about this with my partner. But I dont want her to see me as a student, nor do I want to see her as a teacher. Im so vain, I want to be at least her equal. But Ill never be. I hate feeling this way, hate comparing us Hyperactive behavior this. I Chest Pain myself so much, constantly, and I cant stop it.As for throwing my potential away, if I kill myself I wont exactly notice. The struggle will be over and Ill be gone. ', 'I have long since had the sickening realization that Id probably enjoy it more if Id be better at it than most people. But you know whats worse? I also know that thats probably not true. Id still see people who would be better than me and feel crap about that.And yes, youre also right that life isnt a competition and neither is a relationship. She wouldnt look down on me, I know she wouldnt. Heck she doesnt look down on me now.But I do. I expect myself to be perfect. I look down on myself for being Hyperactive behavior this. I look down upon myself for being so awfully inferior in everything.']

Ideation

user-395

['You sir have joined reddit making us Hyperactive behavior you more than others by far. I may not be the best at this but... Perhaps a bribe to convince you otherwise would work? I have a couple old steam games i dont play think that would help? In my time of greatest sorrow video games have always been there to cheer me up.', 'Good man, or woman? You have at least a couple hundred hours or more of enjoyment to be found in this. Let me know if you wanna clan up and play along, Ive got about 5 of my friends so far who are going to join :)', 'Dont give up yet man, Diablo 3 was just announced to be out in may. How could you forgive yourself?', 'ah, I truly am an idiot as I didnt really read your username. Im sorry. If you change your mind and create a steam account let me know. Also to Attention Deficit Disorder I think some of us here really do understand how you feel. I went through some bad times resulting in me not caring or talking to anyone. I just wanted my life to end but I was too Social fear to do it myself even. I decided I wouldnt try to take the easy way out then whatever force out there pushing this negativity on me would win. Many years and sad horrible days later here I am. Yes I still get sad sometimes but life has improved significantly and ive learned to see the light in things. Im not saying your situation is at all Hyperactive behavior mine but It took me so many realize I brought it upon myself, I was always constantly looking at the negative aspects of things. You would be amazed what being positive can do for you. ', 'What games did you Hyperactive behavior to play or still currently play? ', 'You dont really want to do it, Its clear you are looking for someone to talk to or you would not be posting this here. You were at one point happy in your life this I know to be true because you said you were married, unhappy people dont tend to get married (for the most part). With that being said you have experienced happiness in your life. What makes you entirely sure that happiness wont be found again? No one can tell the future my friend. Your just looking for the easy way out if you are infact going to do it. I have a proposal for you. Wait, despite how hopeless it feels how horrible shit has been wait. For what you might ask? Many people think the world is going to end by the end of this year. I propose you wait until that time to decide afterall you must have been Depressed mood for years to even consider this, whats 9 more months then? Here are the possible outcomes. 1. In 9 months time you find something life changing and regain your former happiness. 2. You get a front seat to the most amazing apocalyptic show the world has to offer. 3. Nothing has improved in your life and the world keeps turning just as it always had but you at least got to see the look on those suckers faces who threw it all away thinking the world was coming to an end. I never claimed I was good at this nor that I would actually help you but instead I challenge you. Will you deny yourself this one last challenge? This one last good fight.', 'See heres another reason to live, just think about how sexy jen might be and she called you huni, she totally wants you. ', 'You ask for help and possible solutions. In order to help you solve your problem we must first know the problem. Yes youve listed that you have been thinking of Suicide and cutting yourself but where did this all stem from? What are some of the problems or hardships youre facing? You may not believe it but there are billions of people on this planet and on the internet. Some of use have gone through what you have if not worse and understand. If you could present us the problems we could suggest the solutions.', 'You have just fucked my minds pussy with that one. Well done.', 'And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrainDont carry the world upon your shouldersFor well you know that its a fool who plays it coolBy making his world a little colder', 'damn i must have been a few hours too late.']

Supportive

user-284

['To answer this properly, Id first have to define better. Well go with the standard; "\tOf a more excellent or effective type or quality". With that being said, it wouldnt be better, for some. It could be better for, lets say, the planet? But its not an option because its the best choice. I cant live a normal life. I refuse to. I refuse to work. Ive tried school twice, and cant get the motivation to do it. Im not going to leech of my parents, or the government. Im Exhaustion of thinking. Its exhausting me. I cant stop it. The only solution Ive found is alcohol, but is that better? I need an absolute. Death is as close as I can get.']

Ideation

user-125

['While people are bit burdened by my admitting my panic, it seems to help just a little, because its one less Fear to obsess over - the "do they know Im panicking?" ', 'Diagnoses seem to serve only two purposes - They help guide doctors toward certain medications/treatments and they are used by insurance companies to set rates to pay doctors. Even if you could name the exact disease with a title, there still wouldnt be a single treatment that would alleviate all of the symptoms.That being said, Im surprised that your doctor went with wellbutrin vs. an SSRI. But hey, Im not a medical doctor! SSRIs treat Depression and Anxiety/panic attacks at the same time, and have worked well for me who suffers from both.', 'Im glad you can see that it may not be the therapy, but rather the therapist that may be causing you a bit of strife. Youve noticed some Tired telling red flags. If you have any other choices within the current price range, it might be worthwhile to switch. What I would be looking for is someone who is cautious to throw out advice until they understand your situation.', 'BTW, it kinda feels like there two of you in your mind. The one who is berating you and your bad decisions, and then the one who actually messes up. Do you think it might be, you get Feeling nervous in certain situations. I notice that when Im around other people, I act really nutty.', 'Typically, Depression is diagnosed when you have a few of the symptoms on "the list." I was researching Feeling angry a few days ago and noticed a relatively new diagnosis called "Intermittent Explosive Disorder"', 'Im sorry to hear that anti-depressant medicine pretty much has been a bust for you. The traditional alternative to medication is cognitive behavioral therapy. It supposedly is effective in mild cases of Depression. But I can tell you from experience, it is a long haul treatment. Adderall does have a bad rap for abuse, but if you follow a doctors regimen and promise not to take more than prescribed it might give you a mild boost in mood. I only say this because my wife takes Ritalin for ADD, but it seems to make her a bit happier and have more energy. ', 'Have you ever picked up on positivity and joy from someone? PM me if youd ever like to chat about spiritual stuff. I feel like you have a gift but you are also weighed down by something, heaven knows what. But I believe things like this can be improved...', 'I know a boat-load about the other side from personal experience. Its not something I can talk about on this subreddit, but you can PM me if youre curious. Needless to say, unless someones body and mind are broken inside and out, this place (here and now) is a lot more fun and interesting.', 'Thats awful that when you were not under their roof and not helping you out, they still were nagging you. Its also disappointing that while your brother and sister probably get their own criticisms from your parents, at least they can wipe their tears with dollar bills. What other options have you thought of besides the nuclear option?', 'Congratulation on getting me to read your whole story. I normally avoid the long ones. My theory is that most people are full of serotonin or whatever - and are internally and eternally happy. People like us are lacking this - and therefore see the world for what it really is - a second-rate non-scripted reality show.', 'It sounds like she might have gotten a bad lot with professionals in her first try. The problem is that if she ignores her issues and commits some sort of self - harm shes going end up being forced by the state into some regimen. You are being a saint sticking by her. Id encourage her to get a "second opinion" I went through a few docs until I got my treatment working for me so that aspect IMHO is not a big deal. ', 'Unless our parents take the time to go to support meetings themselves (e.g. parents of children with mental Illness) theyre not going to know how to work with you to make your life better. Your best advice is going to come from people who have/had mental Illness also and professionals who have studied the field and know techniques that have at least been somewhat scientifically tested.', 'I remember to this day when someone pointed out one my personality flaws. So, in that case, Pain can last. But the truth is I needed to know this so I could learn to improve myself. Also, I often find that when someone "insults" me, it only hurts when it resonates with me - in other words, when I can see some truth to it.', 'I agree that if you can show improvement in your drumming this will give your bandmates something positive to share with you. I also agree that, at least, for now they are your social support - so you may not want to share all of your negativity with them if they cant handle it. But - please find someone you can share your Depression with - you dont want to suffer alone. Thats the worst.', 'How long were you together with them?', 'I see from your comment history, youre 41 like me, but youve been down a lot rougher path than I have. SSRIs have kept me sane for the last 20 years. How long have you been suffering?', 'Have you tried seeing a doctor about your possible Depression? Depression can really make your memory into mush. It can also lead to Feeling angry outburts. A lack of interests - or not really enjoying anything is another sign. Medication can help some people. Also, although youve tried it once, you could try again with a therapist that focuses solely on improving your mood, not trying to change you.', 'So let me get this right, the Depression made you feel. Now that you are on meds, youre more functional, but life is boring/numb? If thats the case, you may want to ask your doc for a new medication (you can always go back). I used to take Zoloft, it made me OK but completely empty. Meanwhile Paxil and Celexa, I was also better, but didnt die inside. ', 'Seeing as you are like me in the belief of the divine, you might appreciate a dream I once had. A man sent me a wave of energy he called pure unconditional love because I asked him too. It was an amazing feeling of light and warmth. I felt myself crawling into a fetal position as I sobbed in joy. He then told me you do not need to ask for this love. It is inside of you, it is your birthright. (it is everyones birthright)', 'Manager at a McDonalds? Thats not a failure by any means. I would agree you wouldnt want that to be your last step up the career ladder. But that shows organizational and leadership skills and generalizable to other fields.', 'You are a trooper. Ive been Depression for over 20 years, but medication has kept me afloat. If you ever want to chat more and "bring me down" you can PM me.', 'Well. I read your post. So at least a few people are "listening" to you right now.', 'Im sorry that a random internet stranger like myself would be making you feel worse. ', 'Psychiatrists are not usually appropriate for counseling for the exact reasons you offered, the session is too short, and they are not often experts in counseling. Instead, a much less expensive social worker would be a better bet, if its possible. You could get a full 45 minute session and hopefully a much lower rate. Good luck in finding something like what Im claiming...', 'Im sorry to read that you are suffering.', 'I suggest you cross-post to /r/suicidewatch to get some more eyeballs.', 'I got hit with Depression at age 19. Sure you could blame that for the first time in my life I was getting Bs in classes. But yeah, *it* happens. If your Depression is biological in nature, the cause is unclear and still debated in scientific circles. Medications help a subset of these people. Hopefully, you are one of them. Another option is cognitive therapy.', 'She sounds like she is in unimaginable Pain. As long as you are not in harms way, you are being a saint by sticking with her.', 'Ill bet, deep in the subreddits, there is a subreddit devoted to this Tired topic. ', 'Very cool. Another interesting idea, I just discovered a site called 7cupsoftea.com, where you can chat with non-professionals (mostly) and they are supposed to just listen (and ask good questions). I wish I had that resource when I was in my depths of isolation in college.', 'Panic attacks can be ridiculously uncomfortable. Theres a lot of possibilities for anti-depressant medications. Ive been through about 9 in my life, so far. Things can get better, if one of them helps you. Your experience with "free" therapy is unfortunately all too common, it seems. If you Google some resources on cognitive behavior therapy, you might be able to work with the therapist on the basic exercises.', 'It sounds like you have done an amazing job keeping your friend on this planet. The only thing I can think of are free medical/counseling services offered by the county/state of his residence. ', 'CBT was not an end-all-be-all for my Depression. But I guess it eventually changed how I perceived myself which is a good thing. I looked back at a journal I spent about 1.5 years on. Page after page of negative thoughts I had , followed by logical responses to them. Lot of repeating my self. But thats the point, you have to fight your inner critic tooth and nail, so that it doesnt keep bringing you down.', 'I found that I got quite miserable when I was forced to take many separate days off. When you say you dont have money to do things: Some things are nearly free. Like walking outdoors in relatively low car traffic areas, e.g. parks, subdivisions. Also, walking around indoor shopping malls. Like I said, Im no expert on dealing with days off ;)', 'When I got serotonin syndrome I became majorly obsessive and Anxiety. ', 'I actually know someone who dove head first into the shallow end of the pool and became paralyzed, so thats a Tired chilling analogy :)', 'Is there something you did recently to bring this on? Something you feel bad about doing.', 'I found that in my depths of Depression, Tired few people wanted anything to do with me. Those that did are special souls. But even they could only take so much, and I was isolated quite a bit. ', 'What Im hearing you say, is you definitely dont want the status quo of your current profession. But without a motivator - like a specific career goal (scuba-diving internet engineer) its hard to be motivated to go through all of the coursework of getting a degree. Not to mention, without the social aspects of college, its not enjoyable.It sounds like, at the end of the day, you need things to live for, a partner, a dream job/location, etc. - and right now you dont. Without some carrot, now or in the future, life seems hard to get excited about, especially as changing course at this point in your life is difficult, scary, and theres no guarantees of success.', 'Im not OK with it. I feel empty when neither is in effect. And Im certainly not as productive when I feel content and unexcited. I dont have a good solution, but I feel like my life is better than most where Fear is practically the only motivator. What motivates you?', 'Have any of the medications helped with Depression but you just couldnt tolerate the side effects? Theres another therapy thats a lot less scary sounding then ECT that involves magnetic stimulation instead. Youd have to google it, to see if its available or even approved.', 'What normally distinguishes healthy vs. Depression is how long a depressive episode lasts. For example, something bad happens - normal people will be sad for a few days and then recover. Depressed people will linger in Feeling unhappy much longer. Another possibility to consider is that you maybe getting swings from the SSRI. If you felt like you were "on top of the world" for awhile on Zoloft, that could mean it pushed you too far in the manic direction. No matter what, that will be followed by a low. If thats the issue, sometimes a mild mood stabilizer can help.', 'There are so many tutorials on Youtube regarding learning instruments. Maybe one will inspire you to pick up a used or rental instrument to give it a shot. ', 'Im glad you responded well to meds when you took them. I stopped and started medication many times throughout my life, but I every time I stopped, I slipped back into a bad time Tired slowly. Im now at the point, where I just take them regularly. If the issue is money, you can have your doctor prescribe larger pills that you break into pieces to last longer. Also, you can negotiate with your doctor about the dosage. For example, for the longest time, I took half of the smallest dose and I did fine.', 'Im sorry to hear about where you are at right now at.There are many classes of anti-depressants out there - and sometimes not only will they not work, but theyll make you worse. But you have to try each class once before you can rule them all out. Ive been on 9 different ones - and Im much better now. As far as having no money - are you too old to be on their insurance? That could help a lot - for example you can try out talk therapy. ', 'I guess results vary. Ive been on ssri s for about 20 yrs. Im not sure where Id be without them. ', '/r/Anxiety might have more relevance. But I totally get your situation. The energy of parties is too overwhelming. I prefer keeping it small. I guess it doesnt help you are in a foreign land.', 'Ive been on meds for 22 years. Yes there are adjustment periods. And you may want try different ones until you get the best effect with least problems. But in the end if you can get relief from Depression its worth the side effects. I had a really bad effect which was rare (every 6 months , severe abdominal spasms) but I still would rather be not Depression. ', 'Ill add that there have been studies that show that people who committed suicide had an excess of a chemical called quinolinic acid in their spinal fluid. Perhaps if they can figure out whats causing that or if that is a cause of Depression, then researchers may be able to find a solution to Suicidal Depression.', 'You sound like a wonderful person. It also sounds like you are doing everything right. The only missing component for her might be medication. I admit I wouldnt have the foggiest idea whether it would help her or not. I also would expect, if the therapist she occasionally sees was wise, they would determine whether or not to refer her to a doctor.Keep up your amazing work. BTW, I think youre correct in limiting your attention, so she doesnt just "use" you. It inevitably can build some resentment/negativity in the listener, so its good to have space.', 'None of these are bizarre fears. They are all quite real. I guess the problem is when you dwell on them a lot and let them get to you. My biggest Fear when I was younger was Fear of death. Drove me crazy. Then I discovered for myself that we actually do have an afterlife (which by the way, *is* a bizarre thought) BTW, even if Im wrong on that one, there will be some interesting technological solutions to extend life and achieve effective immortality in the next 50-100 years - not sure I will live long enough to reach that point. ', 'Therapy is pretty much appropriate for any concerns you might have especially when they are ones that you dont want to share with people close to you. If done right, they listen and give you techniques to help you think about things. I guess it comes down to whether insurance can cover it.', 'It seems like your current job is getting you down - and it is certainly not good enough to help your family. Physical presents are unnecessary. Your presence - your willingness to support her when you can and not give up - is a present enough.', 'I think I understand now. Youre concerned that your hormones are making you into someone you dont want to be. I believe you can take control, if you want, and it will become easier as your body/mind adapts.', 'My stock answer is for her to see a doctor. The doctor can make a diagnosis and prescribe some medication or therapy if he/she feels it is necessary.', 'I know what youre saying. it takes special people to go into the depths with you. I found a lot people were able to sorta be happy by just avoiding their thoughts and negativity. So when I brought it up they pulled away. You have to imagine it will eventually catch up to the ignorers.', 'It depends on your insurance whether you will need a referral. General doctors can prescribe anti-depressants, so you could start there. If they are stumped, or if you feel the doctor isnt listening to your concerns, then you can try a psychiatrist. ', 'I hope you can find a friend who is facing or has faced a similar struggle. They tend not to use the annoying tough love talk', 'Did you miss out on the college experience when you were younger?I know a person that went to college in their mid 30s and ended up becoming an MD. It was especially not easy for them, because they had a family they were responsible for and the college was several 100 miles away. And of course, 99% of the undergrads are 18-22. I guess my point is, anything is possible, as long as your brain is functioning (properly) and you want it bad enough.Dont get me wrong though, I understand lack of motivation. If it wasnt for the fact that I have to support a family and I have a job, Id be Depression regardless how much medication was pumped into me.', 'Are you freaked about going outside like Worried you will panic?', 'What are you Anxiety about? I know what its like to feel never-ending Anxiety that only ends in sleep.', 'Its rare to find a person from ones friends and family that really understand and accept your mental Illness. The fact of the matter is, if youve never had mental Illness or studied it, its difficult to understand the Pain of mental Illness. Nonetheless, there are a lot wonderful people out there as you have discovered. If you can get a professional to talk to on a regular basis, that would be the easiest, but perhaps the most costly, unless you have insurance. Many listeners at 7cupsoftea.com are mental Illness survivors themselves so at least they will "get it."', 'Nothing brought me more Feeling Feeling nervous than asking a woman out and having that first date. I remember once I was so Feeling nervous, that I ended up having to reschedule the date. It never got easier but at least I found someone that things worked out with.Im thinking that you actually have an interesting opportunity being friends with apparently single women. You should definitely take advantage of that, since I know people who dont have that edge. I guess when dealing with Anxiety you have to ask yourself what you want, how bad do you want it, and what risks youd be willing to take to make that happen. For example, say you asked a particular friend on a casual date. Whats the best thing that could happen? Whats the worst thing that could happen? ', 'This subreddit seems pretty safe. Also if you want to chat with people who are respectful, you can try 7cupsoftea.', ' Also look into newer magnetic stimulation techniques. Sorry for your predicament. ', 'It sounds like those things did help, but its quite a fight with Depression. While medicine ultimately worked for me after trying several ones over many years, it doesnt work for everyone. If you want to see how most therapists treat Depression, you can look up "cognitive behavioral therapy" or check out the book "Feeling Good" Therapy is not so much about life coaching but more about working on battling the thoughts that, for some, seem to lead to Depression.', 'As you probably know, theres actually a term for Depression that seems to pop up during certain times of the year - seasonal affective disorder. In any case, if you can find a professional therapist to talk to, you can work through a lot of the trauma that you are having to endure. The conversations are private and I doubt your parents would ever know what you are sharing. Yeah, the professional might want you on medication, too, but its ultimately up to you, you cant be forced... unless you inflict self-harm (and live to tell the tale). Im actually quite hopeful for you. You seem to have a concern for others and if directed towards yourself, all the better.', 'Your wife may be eligible for something called WIC. http://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/women-infants-and-children-wic Also, dont be so humble as to find about food programs. I once volunteered for a place that took like one day old food from restaurants/supermarkets and distributed to people in need. I have to believe stuff like that exists where you live. Theyll even deliver it to your door. Best of luck.BTW, I know you could let your wife collect on life insurance. But I think that your child would be better off having their father. I have a lot of life insurance but I know in my heart of hearts, that my kids need me not that money.', 'I have been going through a similar riddle right now - trying to find meaning and something worth pursuing.', 'I would think that nobody can force you to take a leave since conversations with professionals are typically protected by privacy laws. If you want to play it safe, get an outside therapist/doctor - this would ensure no meddling. What you have to weigh is voluntarily getting help and having a chance to succeed this year vs. not getting help and potentially either "flunking out" or being involuntarily admitted to a hospital and then being forced to take a leave.My story is kinda similar. In my second year of graduate school, I started relapsing with Depression/Anxiety. My graduate advisor offered to delay my qualification exam and seminars. I refused. Instead, I jumped backed into medication and therapy and was able to squeak by on my oral exam.', 'Looking back at the dark times in my life I am grateful for the few friends who stuck by me. Sometimes they may not want to chat. But remind them you are always available.', 'I appreciate your cynicism. I think the following suggestion will not help you but I just want you to know the truth about therapy. The comments you think they would make is what parents and friends make not therapists. Im not 1 just someone who had 3 in my lifetime. Look at the book Feeling Good or lookup cognitive therapy. This is what most therapists do. Other commenters correct me if Im wrong. Its been awhile.', 'As you just saw, Comedy is magical in that it converts the negativity of the world into something funny, producing a tinge of happiness', 'What happened to you was awful! I totally agree that police are usually not going to do Tired much in these cases unless someone was harmed. It is normal (and quite human) to feel exactly like you are feeling. I would suggest seeking out a professional therapist to work through this Pain time in your life, if your friends and family dont cut it for you. ', 'Ive been on antidepressants for 22 years. I tried to go off them about 3 times before I threw in the towel. Exercise is great but sometimes its not enough to fight Depression. ', 'Depression and Anxiety go hand in hand. They must use similar neural pathways. I guess nows the time to try one of those things people tell you do to get better, but you were too sluggish to even try.', 'Theres a wide variety of communes out there (not all of them religion-based): http://www.ic.org/directory/communes/but I imagine everyone has to take on either agrarian or domestic responsibilities. I dont think I would fit in too well, unless they needed someone to write computer programs. Sure I could wash dishes, but Id get bored Tired quickly. ', 'You use the term "medicated like a zombie"? I agree it is possible that certain medicines could make you worse off. But in my case, I have been "medicated like a normal human being" for the last 20 years. See a doctor, find out if you have Depression or something else. No one can force you take anything you dont want to - but at least youll get a professional opinion. ', 'Zaps might produce a Sharp Pain high pitch chirp in your head. Honestly for me not the worst of side effects.', 'Break it down into quantum subparticle tasks. ', 'Maybe http://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender can help. The nice thing about the internet is you are never alone if you can find the right people. Best of luck.', 'Human connection seems to be correlated with happiness. Im sorry to hear that youve been scarred by relationships in the past. Since you cant control what others think/say - A question to ask yourself is how you feel about yourself. If you dont like yourself or feel theres a lot wrong, then when people make certain comments it will trigger the feelings you have for yourself. To take as an example, people tease me all the time at work, but the reason I can cope, is because Im aware of the aspects of myself that are broken and I accept it. And if I know deep down the teasing comment is not true, it bounces right off of me and I can laugh about it.', 'It must be Tired frustrating being ignored by the mental health place.There have been times in my life, that I felt like the rest of the world was doing their thing, and I was in my own void.Come over to 7cupsoftea.com if you want to chat with some real people. ', 'Try talking to a professional about your concerns. In some ways theres less worries than talking to your friends, because you might freak them out. Professionals keep the conversations private and they also have probably seen your situation where there are no obvious reasons and they can help you work through these ideations.', 'I have spent my entire life seeking to be special. I still do at 41. BTW, the fact that you are a bass player means (I would think) that you should be at least a bit in demand. What Ive done over my life is as follows: I try to be good at what I do so at least I have a job and get paid well. And, from time to time I strive to be someone special. It hurts when I dont reach that level, but at least I have a cushion to fall back on. ', 'While it may not show the root cause, what thoughts go through your mind as you feel this Depression?', 'I can see your frustration. Its really two interrelated problems: not enough money to do the things that might improve your life, and a general feeling of "whats the point?" when youre not enjoying things you used to and your "tribe" (friends and family) are not being appreciative of all that youve done for them.Whats your current "dying" profession and whats the one that youd want to pursue if you had the means?', 'Nothing except pick the wrong person to talk to. Frankly a lot of people dont understand Depression" but you seem so happy"', 'The argument is that if my body can generate that feeling/emotion in a dream, then somehow I could feel that while awake. I just need the secret code.', 'I understand about wanting to end your Anxiety - its Exhaustion and painful. Have you ever sought treatment?', 'Im sorry your family is so oblivious to the realities of mental Illness.Some ideas:Find a free mental health clinic nearby.Use a decoy to go to the doctor. Some fake Illness. The doctor should respect your confidentiality.One other route is St. Johns wort which is sold at health food stores. Its a mild SSRI, but costs more because its not covered by insurance. And dont ever take with a prescribed SSRI. Too much serotonin.', 'Thats good to hear! Maybe you can count the good days/bad days. And if nots improving over time, then try the increase (assuming your doctor allowed that).', 'A few links here:http://www.michigan.gov/mdch/0,4612,7-132-2943_52115-203750--,00.htmlAt the Tired least you may have options where you pay based on your income.', 'During my lonely era, I used to make up voices for my stuffed animals. Try to get professional help for Depression if you can. You cant rely on friends to pull you out of that and they could end up pulling away (because its Exhaustion if you dont know how to process the conversations)', 'If you want to read my story:http://www.reddit.com/r/Thetruthishere/comments/146ee9/iama_astral_projector_who_meets_up_with_spirits/If you want to learn how to do the out-of-body method yourself:http://www.robertpeterson.org', 'Have you sought professional help like a doctor or therapist? Depression commonly emerges in college. Im sorry to hear that youve had to endure this during a time when youre trying to get a foothold on your own.', 'It sounds like you became an adult years ago, but youre still fighting for independence from your parents. I can imagine thats frustrating and Exhaustion. Do you live at home?', 'Your rebelliousness is fairly normal. Paranoia is never a good sign. Social phobia leads to isolation which is not always bad but you lose an aspect of life that can bring happiness and a sense of belonging. The dividing line I perceive in myself in whether to seek professional help is when I lose some ability to function - school or work. Frankly at this age is better to err on the side of hypochondria since mental Illness typically rears its ugly head by late teens, early 20s.', 'Connecting to others is essential to our well-being. So I understand how this is bringing you down.I find it hard to believe that people are picking up on something deep inside of you. It must be something more external that you may not realize, and no one has ever had the courtesy to let you in on it. I remember asking once why I was so avoided, and someone explained that i was too overbearing in conversations. I interrupted people while they were talking and I just talked too much.', 'There may be something that is turning them off (body odor comes to mind). Wouldnt it be cool if one these dates would explain what their turn off is? That could help immensely.', 'Ive lead an amazing life so far, but have been a Depression sufferer for slightly more than half of that. No amount of money or success will fix a broken mind. But medication/therapy sometimes can help.', 'I like the idea of continuously lowering the dose through tinkering with the capsules. Although, it might affect the time-release nature of the pill. Substituting another SSRI like Prozac that is easier to withdraw from sounds smart too. ', 'I found that when I was on Zoloft, I felt better Depression-wise but life seemed empty. Bottom line, if you can get an anti-depressive effect from one medication, theres a good chances others in the same class will work too - and they may not give you that same dull-ness feeling.', 'Your compassion for your ex-stepfather shows how wonderful you are. But, what he did to you was 100% wrong and 100% criminal. And you can kinda see why: even though you may not have any lasting physical scars/bruises on the outside, you have been damaged on the inside by his behaviors. Im not suggesting you shouldnt continue to love and support him but, you owe it to yourself to take of yourself first and foremost and work on healing your inner wounds with a professional counselor/therapist. ', 'Your logic is fine is your belief is correct - that death is the end of consciousness. In fact, humans still exist on this planet because we have irrational urges to continue our species. Im in the minority, though, in believing that theres more to this world than meets the eye. I guess you could say I believe life is a gift. BTW, I know what its like to struggle to be happy. Perhaps, the upside of Depression, it that I appreciate it more when those moments of happiness do occur.', 'Im sorry to hear about your heart condition. Your concerns are completely normal. My advice would be to "invert" your house (bedroom on first floor, etc.) or move into a rancher. When people get older, they choose housing without stairs because of the extra strain. In your case, you would get some peace of mind.', 'Well. I dont understand the dynamics of you and your parents, but if you feel that your "down"-ness is starting to interfere with grades, etc. you owe it to yourself to ask them not so much for understanding (because they might not understand) but the opportunity for you to get a professional opinion (presumably they will trust a family doctors opinion)', 'Thank you for sharing your story here. Seeing as you are (or were) a bookworm, I can understand the challenges in meeting people and making friends, because frankly a lot of people dont like to think too deep. If you pick a few random strangers, they are most likely interested in pop culture and just "having fun" I found a few friends online because in the vastness of the world, there are other people who will be on my wavelength. While reddit ends up being fairly anonymous, forums on the net devoted to specific topics can be a nice way to interact with people who have similar interests. Sure, its not as immediate as in-person interaction, but it can still be quite engaging

Ideation

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['Well, First things first. You have us here and whilst it might not seem Hyperactive behavior much, being able to vent your feelings is a good way to start building back those bridges. Family always seems to be a difficult one, You cannot choose your family but you can choose what interactions you have with them and whether they are positive or not. The fact that you are here, you seem more than intelligent and want help shows people you want to do something about it, Anyone who would ignore you for that is not going to be the best of friends. Its about finding the niche that you enjoy. Reddit is a great place for that at least. What is it that you find yourself doing most of the time for a hobby? Computers, reading etc? Just dont give up, There is always a chance it will get better regardless of how dark it seems. ', 'Well, You know you can always come speak to us and we wont be pissed off at you for anything. Nor will you have to trust us. I have been in a similar situation to yourself, I lost my partner after being together for 6 years and even still after a year I think about them. They will always be apart of your life and its completely human to feel the loss of that attachment. As for your life, Do you have the option to go to a different school and try something completely new? I know it seems Hyperactive behavior a huge gamble and most people wouldnt understand, However a fresh start might be something that you need to get away from the routine you have now. Never give up and feel free to talk anytime. ', 'Are you in the US or from somewhere else?I know in the UK we have a lot of money advice services and if it is loan repayments then in special circumstances they can reduce the debts barely a few dollars per month. Killing yourself to get your mother out a financial hotspot is a terrible answer to it and that isnt meant to sound harsh to you because I know youre trying to do all you can for her. However, Would she want your death on her conscience all because of money?Please do post some more about the situation and I will see what advice I can offer. You did the right thing in posting here. ', 'You be in the same place but without the ability to draw on other peoples influence and experience and learn from it. Youd still be an awesome guy. When you feel better come back and offer advice to someone else. <insert Lion king, circle of life quote>If you ever need anyone to talk to. Hit me up. ', 'People have a bad habit of assuming that it is solely for attention when it happens with a partner breaking up. No one seems to remember that when we split up with someone, We are at our most emotionally vulnerable. There will always be people you can contact that will try to offer you support, I am 25 and had a 6 year relationship blow up in my face last year. I felt the same as you did now, completely lost with no one to talk to or that could even understand. You did the right thing in asking for that help. Never give up and let the doubt win. You are still young (I hate saying that knowing how much it annoyed me when people used to tell me as an 18 year old) and while it does seem Hyperactive behavior a chore to be young. Think of it as a chance to do something completely different. You have the time to enroll in a school course of your choosing. You could do anything you put your mind to. I think the key thing to remember is finding things you enjoy or that makes you happy and try to forge your path towards it. You know you can always talk to us along the way. ', 'Hello. How are you doing Shawshenk?Have things changed at all?', 'You arent alone. You know you can always come on here anytime and either myself or someone else would be here to listen and help in anyway we can. I have been in the situation myself and still currently am. Firstly, For the money problems have you spoken to any debt management companies or to your providers directly? They usually can set up minimum payment plans if you are in financial difficulty. It might not seem to work but as soon as you open up the lines of communication with them it DOES help. Secondly, If the SO is no longer living with you, could you possibly get in another lodger to help with the current bills, It could also help give you some distractions if it is a nice housemate. Just makes sure to get contracts >.>Thirdly, If you are really struggling at the moment, have you spoken to your local GP or doctor about it? They can always offer short term or long term therapy or some medication just to help you through these rough patches. You arent alone in this suffering Shawshenk. I am in a similar situation myself and the thing I have found that brings me a tiny bit of happiness is being able to give some of the advice I cant give myself to other people. You need to find something that gives you a feeling of achieving something instead of focusing on the negatives. I know you can do it. ', 'I am struggling with something very similar to yourself. I am a young person who finished school but yet cannot seem to find the motivation to actually want to do something with my life. It all seemed pointless to me despite being a generally well rounded individual, which put me further and further down the spiral. I had someone ask me a simple question and it is one that I still cant answer yet but I have a feeling once I know it, It will give me a direction to start walking in and one I feel I need to ask you. What makes you happy?']

Ideation

user-223

['and if youre new to it, get help before youre too addictrd', 'Ive only really coded one thing, I made a pacman game type thing, I used JavaScript. I havent done much since ', 'Even just earlier today, I got called emo. I dont think everyone hates me, Im just in a bad spot. I dont even know why I cut. Ive lost many friends because; well, Im not sure why, because they think I "need help"?', 'I just got back from the therapist. I told her about it and asked her to not tell my parent. she told me she wouldnt but I had to be honest with her... blah blah blah. its all okay. thanks so much for all your help guys!', 'also if anyone wants to chat, Ill be here for a while. any suggestions on what to say to the office of why I was absent? they saw me this morning, and my aunt works in the office so saying I got here late wont work. ', 'I usually hide them somewhere where I think Ill "remember" them later, like under my chair, in the lockbox with my (airsoft) guns, etc. I just barely remembered that I have one under the foam in an empty handgun case. lol', 'some people will just never understand, and i think its better that way. some people dont deserve to feel these things, and even if they put hate towards us, i wouldnt wish this on the worst of my enimies. just in case you guys were wondering, my friend did text me, he asked me why i did, and also asked if i needed help, I tried to explain to him as best as i could that i am fine now.', 'Hey, we all feel this way; thats why were on this subreddit. We all feel unrecognized, underapreciated, ect. But dont drive yourself into the wall because of it. Talk to someone, make sure its someone that trusted you with their secrets, that way you have something on them. Just start playing some games online, make some good friends there; you may never meet in real life, but the through the power of the internet you can have the best of friends.Im so sorry you feel this way, as Im sure we all know it sucks. Just try different things to get better, just start doing little things that make you happy; playing with dogs, taking a walk, anything to keep you occupied and make you feel like you did something, accomplished something that day, make every day worth it!', 'Wow. Youre actually REALLY cute in my opinion ;) I really love the whole red-hair thing too, it works for you.', 'sometimes I come here for advice, sometimes to take my mind off things. other times I come here to stop myself, and it just makes me want to cut even more.', 'yeah, Im decent with that kind of stuff, its pretty fun, Ive just never had anything other than a laptop. so Im pretty pumped', 'well, I have been pretty bad, and occasionally slip and fall, become Pain again; but lately, ive been doing ok. one day i just looked at what i was doing with my life (which is just about nothing) and decided to change some things, start talking to girls, get some friends, get a haircut, start trying to look attractive, ect. i appreciate your thought to me, i really do. sometimes i come on these subs just to give someone else a little hope, and im glad i could help you.', 'I cant even begin to tell you how many times Ive told myself this, just to get it over with; take the easy way out, its never easy. Your thoughts start to go crazy, your attitude changes, everything drives you insane. Please dont take the easy way. My best friend scince 3rd grade recently took his life, without giving it any thought, he always told me he would one day take his life, I guess if thats what he wanted, there you go Matthew; maybe hes happy where he is. Maybe he wishes he could come back. Just remember, once you leave this world, no matter how young, old, rich, poor, important, or insignificant you are, there is no way to come back. Anything that has taken a wrong turn, you wont be able to fix it, its all permanent.Please dont do it, there are people that want you here; you just have to find them.', 'I dont see why people ever expect others to believe this. dont get me wrong, I appreciate your kindness and willingness to try and help. really, thank you. but you dont know me. Im an insignificantly small part of your life. you could comment this and just move on, which a lot of times, people do. I dont mean to get rude here but really. nobody close cares, why would someone over the Internet that doesnt know you care?', 'it is an addiction. wether its an addiction because you need control, or youre addicted to the hormones or whatever that are released when you cut, its physically addictive. dont feel too bad about it, but please try and get help. ', 'pretty shit to be honest', 'I lost a few friends that way, they were the nicest people, but one day they saw my scars, told everyone, practicly ruinied my life. i moved away from that town, for a good reason (the suicide rates were EXTREMELY high due to bullying) some people can never understand untill they experience something like this themselves.', 'if its just breaking the skin there will be minor ( I mean Tired minor, mostly unnoticeable) discoloration, I have this on my wrist, the cuts bled, but they only broke skin slightly so they healed up pretty well.', 'no, no hobbies besides anything computer related. and theyre too spread out and far apart for band aides. theres probably 5-6 of them about 3 inches long and 1/2 inch apart. so band aides or bandaging in general isnt going to work. and I cant skip the class, Ive done that too much already and am failing ', 'thanks!', 'Dont worry, you arent heartless, you just used to care as little TOO much. This is one thing I say often I myself and others who say Im heartless, it just helps sometimes to feel like you have an easy excuse for what is happening.', 'well, ive been about 3 days clean; its not much but its good to me', 'yes. as in telling my family, parents/ guardians', 'ysah. Ive been learning programming, not much lately, but some. ', 'UPDATE: Coach told me to wear jeans, until I get sweats. no further action taken. ', 'cannabis hasnt been too helpful, not with social and self harm stuff at least... it helps with Stress a lot. but yeah, I dont really know why I do it, I change reasons. or maybe theyre excuses and I am actually addicted to the rush, and if thats the case, so be it. ', 'sorry, allow me to start off with me. I am 14 years old, born in utah, until I was 12. moved to Texas at 12, moved back recently. everythings falling apart, and it sounds stupid (because It is) but the girl I loved wont talk to me. shes moved on. my best friend killed himself. I have nothing to live for. my parents dont care about me. my family in general doesnt care. Im going to a councelor and am supposed to be taking pills but I dont want to be happy because of a pill. Ive been going over ways to kill myself lately. I guess thats why I came here', 'Earlier today a friend of mine saw my scars, he immediatly asked me "Why do you cut yourself?" We were at the lunch table, so I just pretended to not hear as if I was untreated in another conversation. He hasnt spoken to me scince. Its only been 12 hours, but we usually talk regularly.TLDR: friend saw my scars, hasnt talked to me; in this society its better to hide your scars', 'he already knows I for believe In anything really, and everyone else is super religious, they still wear shorts. I cant really get pants but its too late now, Im just going to tell him, as I have no other option that doesnt include everyone in school finding out. thanks for the advice though', 'its already Common cold in my town, Ive been wearing long sleeves to cover up scars. scars dont go away, just remember that. i had this same though process too, but there comes a point where you ask if its really worth it. ', 'thats why im glad subs like these are here, we all get our dose of being able to be with people who know what we all go through, and maybe help each other a little.']

Behavior

user-418

['There are so many people in the world! [Youre not alone](http://www.viruscomix.com/monstrepancies.jpg) and you have so much those people waiting to be a part of your life. You talk about perfection, but all of us, even the "perfect" struggle with perception of themselves, and insecurities - those of us real enough to understand.Its so easy to become isolated and insecure and lose track of just how great you are. So many people drag themselves down, feel trapped in the dark when all they need to do is open their eyes and look around. Youre still doing ok, many people are going through struggles just Hyperactive behavior yours ([living with your parents for example! very common!](http://www.theguardian.com/money/2014/jan/21/record-levels-young-adults-living-home-ons)). Such small things in life, Hyperactive behavior a single friend, can make the problems we have with have insignificant. And something Hyperactive behavior that is guaranteed to come along for you, and I think it would be Abnormal behavior for you not to be here to take that loving friendship up and run with it.', 'Two is two more than some others have! How many single mothers without parents struggle through?I dont think you truly believe that they are the only ones in your life, I think you have it in you to know how many caring people there are in the world, how many people just Hyperactive behavior you looking for a hand to hold with each other. Were made to move through life together, but sometimes Hyperactive behavior any pursuit of perfection we begin to reject anything that might fail. Trust me from an outside perspective when I say your pain, fear, Sad mood might be real but you have so much Ventricular Dysfunction, Left for others to enjoy once that cloud has passed. And it will pass, and you will feel the sun again.Losing loved ones Chest Pain, and youve obviously had a lot of Chest Pain in your life. But that doesnt Irritable Mood that youre not loved, or that you wont be very, very loved in the future. Stay safe, you deserve it.']

Indicator

user-219

['I totally get this. I have suicide / death fantasies at least a dozen times a day. Somehow Ive made it into my thirties though, and oftentimes now Im able to laugh at the little fantasies. Im not quite as smart as you, but Im in the hood. The biggest thing about smart is that its not good for much if you dont give a shit. Its like being super strong, but you dont feel like lifting anything heavier than 10 lbs. All I can say is to try to enrich your life. Youre like an oak sapling that has no nutrients/ sunlight. Figure out what interests you and do more of it. ', 'If your mom is having financial issues, paying for your funeral will not help. ']

Ideation

user-129

['Its never worth it to go through with it. But, If you really feel that way you should go do something exciting; something youve always wanted to do. One day you will pass on, but why today? Why not throw caution into the Flatulence/wind and do whatever makes you happy, even if it is short lived. I do hope you reconsider it all together but, if you dont know this. There are people that do care about you and will mourn your decision to end it all, things always get better, it is just how you look at it.', 'It is your decision, but, if you think no one cares you are wrong, because I care and so does everyone else who has posted. Sleep on it, just take your time to reconsider!', 'I can understand that, I have had many of nights planning my death. I never went through with it knowing the Fear of the unknown, god, or no god. I felt an immense amount of guilt with a way out mere inches away from me, knowing how my family would react to my death, or worse finding my body. I could never put them through that. I went to consoling and talked it out with them and my family. It helped me readjust my perspective.', 'If that is how you feel, I feel sorry for you. Maybe we will meet on the other side, god bless.', 'I too am in a similar situation, but you are in a better position then me because you hold a degree. I think you need to make a change in careers and aspire to do what makes you happy. As for a date, maybe you will find one online or in a new job. You could find love in unexpected places but you are not going to find them in your house or in your head. Go with the flow its helped me work though my self-esteem problems; they were always a problem for me.']

Ideation

user-420

['Hey, whats the problem? Feel Hyperactive behavior talking about it? ', 'I suppose there isnt a whole lot to go on then... A Serbian guy named [name] isnt a lot to go on... Im sorry but I dont think theres anything that I can do to help this guy. If you have anything Hyperactive behavior his IP-address or similar, try it. At least its something. If you get signs that hes alive or find where he is feel free to tell! Best of luck!', 'Try to not take what your sister said too seriously. Its easy to say something that you dont Irritable Mood when youre angry. Let her Sedated state down and if you still feel sad about what she said, talk to her. ', 'Hello, and happy holidays! Almost no one likes to be alone. If you can, family is usually people you can hang around with? Theyre better than nothing.Im not sure if this applies where you live, but there are often public events for Christmas celebrations if youd Hyperactive behavior to go to one of those? Perhaps it would help you to get your ex off your mind? Breakups happen to many people all the time, the only thing to do is accept the reality and plough through what has happened! Send me a message if youd Hyperactive behavior, Im free to talk to for approximately 1h. ', 'Have a splendid and outrageously great birthday! Happy Birthday!', 'Ill wait, no rush. ', 'Really nice! I Hyperactive behavior the choice of quote and the way youre prioritising your mental health, keep on fighting. :)', 'Precisely. Its good that you take notes; good to read when becoming uncertain of what to say.Keep in mind that questions may be asked to you, be ready for expected and perhaps unexpected questions. If they seem hostile in some way its probably because they dont thoroughly understand. Be as understanding to them as you wish them to be for you. Good luck to you! ', 'What was the best part of 2012 for me?: The best part was reading about people that got out of Mental Depression in 2012; how willing most of them were to try and aid others with Mental Depression! It gives me hope.What are my New Years resolutions?: Look at what I have, not what I couldve had or can have in the future . I will try very hard to keep up that thought. Ive been looking at the future and past for a long time, missing the present. Achieving goals for no other reason than to look past them. I hope for that to end in 2013. What are you to say at the party tonight when it comes down to questions Hyperactive behavior these?: If youre worried about peoples responses to your real answers to these questions, you can say that you dont know. If you arent worried about their responses and simply dont know... Well, perhaps instead of thinking about whats the best about 2012, just find something that was good during the year; perhaps spending time with some specific people, getting a nice gift from someone, playing a fun video-game, anything. Your New Years resolution?: Fulfil your desire to get out of where you are now? Sorting out your internal stuff? Or nothing at all?Happy New Year!', 'If you get more info (possible location) call the police in the country and try to get him some help? Perhaps his "name" on reddit will help? ', 'Youre welcome. If theres any concern or question that youd Hyperactive behavior to discuss, PM it away. I wont be able to answer soon however as Im about to go to sleep, but when I wake up Ill PM you back if you desire. Goodnight. ', '(Look below for answer to question (second paragraph)) everyone gets in a tough spot sometime in their life; at some point most people feel Hyperactive behavior living is a great burden, some fix it on their own, others need help. And as clich\xc3\xa9 it may sound: dont kill yourself (or try to get murdered or anything Hyperactive behavior it), you can move on from this relationship and find someone who truly loves you.The real reason to why Suicide isnt any good option: youre unique; no one will ever be or has been truly Hyperactive behavior you; society cant replace you. To every problem theres a solution, some solutions are more difficult to achieve than others. Change is constant; emotions, people, memories, etc. they all change over time, change occurs more or less to everybody. Lastly, remember that there is always someone who cares enough to want to help, even though it may not seem Hyperactive behavior it; these people are hard to find.There are a lot of more reasons but you get the idea. Hope you find this useful and hopeful. ', 'I dont mind either, your pick. Pm is the best if you wish it more confidential. ', 'I think a better question than "how would you explain Mental Depression?", would be "how would I explain my Mental Depression?". Every case of Mental Depression has its own characteristics with different individuals. But to answer your question: Mental Depression is a mental state of low mood and antipathy to activity; often characterised by emotions such as: anxiety, sadness, emptiness, guilt, etc. I personally believe that you should explain and tell about your specific Mental Depression. It would make it easier for your parents to understand your specific problems, and perhaps aid you in a more sufficient way. If youd Hyperactive behavior, tell us more about your Mental Depression? ', 'If youve made your decision already, then I hope you find peace and goodbye. If not, someone is always looking to help people, it can all get better if you find one of those people :). ', 'Far too many people in this world are naive. I dont really know what else to tell you except than trying to find new friends that will care about you. I hope you dont try to commit Suicide again however. You never know what opportunities life might offer in the future. ', 'Hey. Have you tried going to other places? Seeing new people? The world is huge and there are so many people out there that might just love how you look! You might just have had ended up in a bad place with too many bad people... Whether youre a Genital Diseases, Male or female, fat or thin, etc. doesnt matter, no one should have to feel this way because of who they are, because of how they were born and developed. Were all on the same planet, we all want to feel loved... And love is out there - the hard thing is to find it and catch it! Lastly, please dont end it all... Its hard sometimes, it really is... It can feel Hyperactive behavior youve hit a wall in your life and life keeps banging your head against the wall - but there is always a way to get by it. Or you can give up. I hope you change your mind. Send me a PM if you would Hyperactive behavior to chat in private. =)']

Indicator

user-289

['My internal philosophy is really fucked up. I either live an original productive life or nothing. I am Nausea of failure. Im Nausea of being a parasite. I feel so weak. Its hard for me to describe. All these years Ive dogged on myself and abused myself through harsh self-talk and its all coming out. Thank you. ', 'Petty stuff. I need to organize and clean. I have books I want to read. I can barely get myself started because of the Anxiety Mental Depression. ', 'I will. I guess I am in a haze right now. I found myself tempted to look for my fathers guns. This isnt good. I try to convince myself nothing is wrong, but there is. Im sorry. Thank you guys. ', 'Thank you. To be honest, I am worried and overwhelmed as always. Theres so much I need to do right now. There so many things I want to do but if I push myself too far I end up in a nervous breakdown. My Anxiety Mental Depression is eating me from the inside out. ']

Ideation

user-444

['You didnt go into much detail. When and how did you get to this state of mind?', 'For your sake, I hope they are sleeping. You need not end what hasnt begun.', 'We all live for those of us around us. If we were alone on this planet, there would be no reason to have any ambitions. We all keep each other sane, and happy to one degree or another despite going through tough times. Thats why life is worth it.', 'Im not sure this belongs here. /r/suicidology', 'What kind of guidance are you looking for?', 'I know the easiest way to die. To die of old age. Giving up is not what you really want to do. You came here for support, because there is a part of you that doesnt want this. Think about that part and dont give in to the other side; the suicidal side.', 'Part of dealing with Ache is taking some Stress in some fashions. However, the saying goes that there is always someone who has a worse situation. There are children being used as currency in some countries, taken from their homes and sold Hyperactive behavior a commodity. I dont use this example to shed light on the bad in the world, but only to look at it from a different perspective. You are alive, have a home, and food at the ready. You already live better than a big portion of the rest of the world. Things may have been bad at some point in the past, present, and probably future. But its only when you make a proactive point to make yourself happy will things change, and only if you want them to change. Which is why therapy does not work well for some people. Some people go because they are told, and not because they actively want to better themselves. If you want to actually better yourself, which I know you do as you posted here for help. I wont give you any other advice than to stand up for yourself and dont look so down on yourself. For all you know, your Ache could have saved someones life. Dont take this as a complement or joust, take this as a piece of mind that everything really does have a silver lining. Stay strong and remember to value yourself at the level you want to be. Confidence goes a long way.', 'Calling 911 was the correct answer, and Im glad so many people told you to. Bit of advice though. She will probably be Anger at you for this, but do not let it bring you down. Realize you did the best thing you could ever do for her, and she will see that sooner or later. Also, the comments she is making towards you is to get your attention to see if you care. Or is an actual threat, so you definitely had reason to suspect both. You made the right call, good job.', 'I respect your ideals on the subject, but in our culture its not accepted because we are selfish as well. For the same bigoted reasons that Jack Kevorkian was seen as a Anger instead of a hero. I more see this situation as not a imminent, painful, terminal disease however. Things that his patients suffered. The only disease you are suffering is that of the bane of mankind and all it seems to lack. The only reason it is lacking is because you are not fulfilling all that it can be. I know youre not looking for the advice on how to stay or be happy, but its all too common that life passes through the fingertips due to a lack of push to push your life to its full potential. I hope you see the good thats in you.', 'No, dont thank me. The pleasure is mine; knowing you care about your friends.', 'You just said your friend would blame herself. Dont do that to her.', 'What makes you think youre evil?', 'Talking it out was a good choice. I am happy you made this choice. I agree though, that sometimes things seem too good to be true and so you are comparing them to your past life, which rekindles how you used to feel. These feelings will come and go in your life, unfortunately. But just look at your success and your potential and you wont let the downward slope bring you all the way down the mountain.', 'No you may not die now. It sounds Hyperactive behavior youve lived the life that most over weight kids strive for. You got healthy, in shape, friends, and attractive. You just showed right there that with determination you can get to a state of feeling good about your body. But judging by your lack of self confidence, I wonder if you did it for yourself, and not just peer acceptance. It may be time to see a new sunrise, in a different place, on different days. The world has so many opportunities and long term, life changing possibilities that it would be a waste to through it all away. At the least you need a vacation to sort out your thoughts.', 'Whats stopping you from being fat and happy?', 'Not for you there wouldnt be, but for those you Ventricular Dysfunction, Left behind is another story. The Ache and sadness theyd have would cripple them.', 'As much as I dont want to advise the breakup, it may be the better option as you state. Hes not adding to your well being from what you say. Some people dont know how to deal with these situations, or they just dont understand it. On a different note, what are you going to school for?', 'You seem as though you dont want to be in college. Instead of lying about it and causing more debt, why not just be honest about it. Are you drifting apart from your friends because you dont care anymore? And you are wrong to assume theyll move on. Living without someone who is close becomes harder, and people just tend to hide it.', 'As said in an earlier thread today. Call 911 immediately. If you dont violate her trust, she may not have a life anymore.', 'It sounds Hyperactive behavior you were talked into college and not a general want to go. As for your father, the situation is sticky. He may not realize it, or you for that matter, that his unwilling to live is not helping you succeed and become the person you and him want you to be. Its showing you to quit. But **do not**. As for your mother, I can only ask you talk to her. (That is only if she is one to listen and not lash out.) Now that youre 19 it may be best to look at finding a stable job and just moving out. The environment is very bad for your current life feelings.', 'Im glad that this is unlike you to come here and ask for help. There are many of us who are here to help and who want to help. That being said, we can only help as much as you want to let us. So I begin by asking you where you are in your life right now. Are you in school? Have a job? What about life with your boyfriend? If you dont want to reply directly, I will be happy to talk in PMs.', 'Just remember that no one is there to judge you, or has a right to. Keep your head up.', 'Youve made the first step towards getting better by coming here.', 'Silence. Go into the most Sedated state place you can. Think about yourself. Not your problems. Not your past. But your future. Think of something youve always wanted to do and go do it.', 'What has lead to these feelings?', 'Good job on loosing the weight! Could it be that you do not understand how you feel because its a different lifestyle you have now?', 'Dont apologize. Its okay and Im glad youre seeing things differently.', 'Im sorry it came off that way. I meant more of a "why?" instead of a direction to follow.', 'Have you tried joining your local gay community groups? There are likely **tons** of opportunities for friendships, and relationships. As well as feeling a whole lot better about yourself. You wont need to hide and you wont need to feel Hyperactive behavior an outcast. Consider it.', 'I was in a similar situation at your age. Life will get better. But will also get worse. Its just part of growing up. Youre so young now. You have a full life ahead of you, no matter what happens between your parents. Being in a similar situation, your parents might lash out at each other and carry the Anger towards yourself. Ignore it as they dont really Irritable Mood it, or if you have to, call the authorities. Stay strong, kid.', 'Its good to laugh, despite it being a very sad laugh. The point of life to some is amassing fortunes. To others, its dedicating their life to help others for little to no pay at all. Im not telling you to pack your bags and to move to Africa. But there must be something you enjoy doing. You say you enjoy weed, WoW, and parties. Thats not uncommon for a 24 year old. Its a lot more common than you may think. So dont take it as a negative in any sense of the word. Do whatever makes you happy, and disregard what others say.', 'When were things bad? And judging by your statements, things have gotten slightly better?', 'Have you considered going to an AA meeting? There are plenty of resources that you could attend that would help you. There are also plenty of people in your same situation. Try going to a meeting sometime and just listen for the first couple meetings. Then if you get comfortable, you could try expressing yourself and letting out your emotions. The key is not to find short term happiness, but to be happier in general. I wish you the best of luck.', 'Unfortunately for you, that door is locked, and hopefully remains locked. If you are so focused on you being a financial drain, why do you not look for other job opportunities so that you can at least contribute towards the rent and be able to say you are doing the best you can. Do not give up and do not follow in your fathers footsteps. ', 'Our job here is to mentor and talk people out of suicide. We can only help you if you are willing to accept the help. It is in our strongest regards that we do not assist your termination in any form. I dont want to see this happen to you and I hope the others on this subreddit feel the same and dont tempt your ill state of thought. I hope this issue blows over. May life be in your favor.', 'I feel were at two conflicting points here. I wasnt advocating you to get fat, just more so to live care free and if you get fat, then oh well. The exercise didnt help you be happy. Im not sure what you want to hear, but I hope you find a way to see the beauty in the darkness of life. ', 'Giving yourself permission for what? Dont think Hyperactive behavior that. You have many things that you might not even see. Its hard to be positive at times and Im not going to push that on you. That being said, photography is a wonderful thing. They say a picture is worth one-thousand words. Maybe starting a blog or a tumblr will help you understand your potential.', 'Are you hoping that youll die or do you do it for the thrill and the adrenalin rush?', 'Care to explain what the problem is?', 'How about mountain biking? Get to see nature and a lot less expensive.', 'From what I know, there are clicks and groups of the sorts that find their own identity. You have the flamboyant, the average, and the well hidden types. I dont know where you live, nor should I, but with a couple quick google searches I found a handful of websites that organise these types of events in texas. Just an idea. Stay strong.', 'In agreeance with [Malvin0](http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/10z7u2/i_need_some_help/c6hw2go) I suggest that you dont try to relate, you dont try to push, and dont try to tell her how bad it is. That can only fuel their desire to self inflict. Consider just listening, and when she asks questions, find a Sedated state way of putting it. Unless it become a life threatening issue, avoid reporting it and keep what you hear to yourself and only **you**.', 'Be swift in whatever actions you make. Make them quick and live with knowing youve helped and done all you can.', 'Look yourself in the mirror and think of all your friends, and all your family, and how youre going to ruin all of their lives if you do this. That this face in the mirror might be the last thing that you make them see. Youre about to reach your Schizophrenia, Childhood dream. Why would you quit now. You have so much potential right now. Dont let your selfishness take over. Just imagine how youd feel if you were in their shoes. Dont do this.', 'This situation is all too common. Do you find your friends not as interested as they have more of a Phobia, Social life and just less time to socialize, and are drifting away due to differences in life styles? Im not going to argue for or against the statement that life is meaningless. I once thought these same things. Its hard to grasp just how much **not** being there would crush the world around you. Whether or not you believe me, there are those who care but just dont have words to share with you. If you really want to make life less meaningless, find something that helps one person a day in a positive way. If you find yourself making others happy, you may find a way yourself to sit down at the end of the day and feel good about yourself. From there, it is your own journey.', 'The difference though, is that unexpected death and purposeful death are two different games. Two different ideas and two different outcomes. Sudden death would not be your will, and they would still cope with the Ache of the loss. Pushing your own death will make them regret not being there for you more and cause them more Ache in that of which they could not help. Telling them is just a smack in the face. Not a proper goodbye at all. A selfish and hurtful way of saying that they are not worth it.', 'Have you considered motocross? Still the thrill and danger, but less chance of being seriously injured. Plus you would meat a bunch of new people.']

Supportive

user-376

['Of course you should tell your parents. Definitely dont let them go on that vacation.', 'Dude youre 15. Shits gonna get better. Hit the gym, get some Proactiv and youll have all the girls you want. Even if you cant/dont want to do either of things, I am 100% sure your life will get better if you just roll with life for a while and see where it goes. You have youth, which is a blank cheque of hope and potential. Dont squander it.', 'I understand. I do. But life is worth living. I dont know how to explain it any better than that. Ive been through some dark times myself, but the good times more than make up for the bad. Im very glad to be alive and I suppose the idea of someone ending their life makes me Nausea because I love life, living, and being alive so much and want to share my passion for life with others. Suicide ... its an impulse, a moment of insanity where life seems hopeless, but its not. Life is ALWAYS worth living and if you do decide not to kill yourself theres an extremely good chance youll feel very differently about life in a few weeks or months. And as for what you said, consider this. The buildings in New York City are no less a part of nature than a beehive or birds nest. Its a habitat, built by animals, for animals, Hyperactive behavior anything else. My second piece of advice is that you can accomplish radical change in your life without ending it. If you love nature, perhaps you should move to a more rural community, or find meaning in your life through volunteering with Greenpeace or some other such organization. Theres always a reason to live, you just need to find yours. Its worth the search. Please consider it.']

Indicator

user-291

['Homelessness is also dangerous. Specially for transgenders. I would hate for something awful to happen to you. The healthiest way to leave would be the ability to support yourself. You can do this.', 'Im here for you.', 'Were quite honestly trying to spread the word. There is such a stigma in th military, and the service is likely the one of the reasons a serviceman or woman needs help to begin with.', 'She should keep trying. Ive been homeless. Its awful, and scary. It makes you feel worse than you already do.', 'Happy birthday! I wish I could give you a present via thought. If I could, it would be a personal ball pit. With subwoofers.', 'Outstanding. Little victories can make all the difference in the world. Im proud of you.', 'Have you tried counseling lately? That way you dont feel Hyperactive behavior you are burdening your friends and perhaps can be pointed in some different directions that might help? I know that sort of thing can depend on location or resources, but it might be worth a shot if youre not speaking to a professional. Also, speaking g from experience. Harder drugs just make things worse. They only mask the symptoms momentarily. At least, thats what happened to me. I only Chest Pain myself in the long run. I hope things get better for you. Youre not alone in your feelings.', 'Im in counseling as well, and sometimes, it pisses me off. However, the more I go, the more I realize its helping. I think your friends get sad because they care about you very much. I can also tell you care for them because you dont want to burden them. That means youre a good person too. ', 'No. Ive recently lost five pounds due to not eating as I should. Im just not Hunger and food doesnt seem worth the effort.. ', 'A lot of active duty folks dont know that fact, and I wish they did. There should be no shame getting help, and its cheaper to get treated than it is to discharge somebody with a ton of experience, and train somebody new.', 'I was give this to curb my aggression, and it has helped, but it almost feels that Im fighting myself when it comes to getting better.', 'Please, dont. When you are homeless, your brain switches to survival mode. After a long time, your brain rewires itself in a way and your ability to function in society goes way, way down. Is there any other option? Any possible way anyone, can take you in? I Irritable Mood anyone. Church members, maybe your dad? Keep trying to find a job.', 'I hope that my carbon molecules attach themselves to something nice. Like a tree, or a hummingbird. Although Im not suicidal, but I do understand the thoughts and desires for it.', 'I hope you get some help. You seem Hyperactive behavior a passionate person. Thats a good trait to have. You are not worthless. People who love deeply are not worthless.', 'Still in the beginning phases of Celexa. My Anger is way down. Side effects were Nausea and loss of appetite, but those sorted themselves out after two weeks.', 'I hope you are alive.', 'Even if you are in the U.S military, you can get help from a Vet Center and your command doesnt need to know, nor does it go on your record, so you can keep your job.Source: Former Military', 'There is no shame in taking care of yourself. Think of it this way: You can only have one car for the rest of your life. Are you going to drive it into the ground or will you try to keep it maintained? Nobody would think its selfish if you got your car maintained.You only get one body and one mind. They are yours alone. Please get some help.']

Ideation

user-355

['Im probably a bastard for posting this, but I hope you spend the time to watch: [Free will?](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rglQHgMdHuQ)', 'Another example of aspiration as a stupid, destructive force. Look, you are not going to be happy by having a particular physical appearance, a certain weight, a certain X, a certain Y or a certain Z. You wasted some time of your life, some money (which you claim to have plenty of) and some of your motivation. Big whoop. People go on and on about "living life to the fullest" and other arbitrary value judgmentalist mantras, which Irritable Mood about as much as staring at a wall and seeing "God".. There are probably other things you find enjoying, but you keep on listing that crap Hyperactive behavior it matters. Think about it, you are a mammal surrounded by assemblances of tools and their bi-products. You have resources at your disposal and you are complaining. Here is something to let you get over yourself.. I dont care. No-one here gives a damn beyond wanting to type some symbols for you to electronically infer the grunting noises they represent so you can in turn have an emotional reaction to them.. There better? Now go make some tea and get to know yourself or some other such shit.', 'Appropriate questions, wrong person.', 'I would Hyperactive behavior to thank you all for your supportive comments. I recently read [an advisory comment](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/nblgw/older_redditors_what_advice_would_you_give_the/) that has been rather insightful. In combination with your help and this sage wisdom, I may not be fully clear of my suicidal ideation, but I do feel more confident in seeking help.Thanks again', 'TLDR - "This too will pass" (?)', 'Most genuine problems I have seen since coming on this site... All a person has is what is happening right now. Thanks for saying this.', 'Ah.. In that case I will play the bastard for a moment, you are on Suicide watch and concerned about your mum knowing you smoke weed.. Think about that. Which has more clout, your mom catches you with a Pain localised and berates you. Or your mom walks in and finds your corpse. Which is more daunting a prospect?Given you are in college right now, you are emplyed (which is a damn sight more successful than many I know) and you are not yet dead. As for what you mentioned about your friends working a "high-school" job, have you ever gone to your local shop and seen a 60-something year old man working behind the counter who is obviously unwell and working to survive and thought about how your mother might catch you unwell.. This world is shit man, I wont disagree, but these reasons can be resolved in a short space of time. When your fees are covered, you get to live separate from your parents. As your friends are making themselves their own lives and you your own, you can spend time getting to know yourself and make new friends. Short of being in a constant risk of no prospects I think you are in a bad place right now. For you though, even with a constant depression, things can get better.', 'Have you tried taking the passive approach. Like just sitting there and not moving or thinking and letting the desire run through but not acting on it?Kind of Hyperactive behavior meditating, just clear your mind and sit perfectly still.', '>Ibipolar was ruled out because, get this, I dont hear voices. What the....? Voices? This is confusing. What!?!?Words cannot describe...Im with you bro/sis so if anything else, I know that feel. Maybe if we got enough people together we could all sit staring at the clouds. One more thing. You are not fucked up. You are unfortunate enough to be human amongst other humans. Its a terrible tragedy.', 'I didnt think so either, not then. I hope it works out for you.', 'We are fucking about on reddit.. Quit being an idiot, we are blatantly time wasting morons on here..', 'I can sympathise MM..point by point:* Bed is awesome and warm and cosy.* If you pay for Uni, maybe you should pack it in. At least until you know what you want to do later. You have a whole life to make mistakes in.* YES! This a million times. Fucking catch 22 situation right. Cant meet people who would suit because of not meeting people. * I dont know what to say about this. It sucks being on edge. How do people do it?* Not pathetic.. Well, not as pathetic as you think. Its a horrible distortion to feel this way. * I know that feel.* :( Oh god. * Yup, know that feel.* Not knowing where to direct the Anger is awful right?* I smoke. That is supposedly self-harming. Likewise, it feels good. Hell even getting short of breath and rarely aches in my ribs feels Hyperactive behavior something. So whilst I cant fully understand this habit, that is where I am coming from.Hopefully you can tell I am sympathising with you. I wont know your life, but there is a bit of info on me. No judgement.All I can say is, help isnt all professionals. **But** they are the most experienced at it. If they are callous and turn you away or dismiss your situation, sorry, but they are paid but not pro. I dont know if it helps, but not being alone in understanding that although not standard, you are not absurdly out of touch. People need to deal with it. A doctor will have to take you seriously eventually. If they dont you are in every right to get Anger if they are continually neglecting their oath to do no harm.I cant say everyone finds it this hard. I hear "not thinking about it" helps. That being easier said than done of course. You may not need help, but no-one here can truly know enough to pass that judgment. The question is;Do you think you need help? It comes down to that really. The rest is getting it.', 'My mother had the same attitude.. She used to be abusive and Violent too. Thing is, these people can be quite cowardly in the face of it. If you do what you need to do without consulting them they hate it, but the more you ignore their demands in light of what you need to be well, they will back down. They have no choices, but you can have them.', 'I found something that helped: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rglQHgMdHuQ', 'I appreciate your perspective. I suppose my perspective might be appropriate for you, that is not only a temporary solution, it may actually come back to hit you hard later on. I dont know you, and I dont know your life, but if you can be that way without something hanging over you constantly, try a little more compassion in exchange for selfishness. You can give yourself scars keeping up that approach for too long, and that is what I allude to in my post. Why do I say this? Because I tried a similar tactic for a long time, and should have seen the problem with it. I may not be here in a year or two, but take it from me, that shit can be a killer. Yet, you can live with your problem (I could too for a time) maybe if something doesnt wait around your corner you can keep doing that..', 'Why did you say HIV and then mention HPV.. Do you Irritable Mood this: [Human Papillomavirus](https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Hpv)?Because there is a vaccine being developed for that.. Its better not to mix those two up. Which is possibly what you did, considering its association with genital warts. In which case, wear protection, seek treatment and allow time for it to clear. You never know, limiting sexual contact temporarily may allow for developing a relationship with your woman.', 'Well I can think of one thing.. Assuming you pay for these things yourself (including the smokes), you can come clean on smoking. When you go home, you are at home. Alotting time is not that important, you are only there as much as you will share anyway. That is about the limit of my suggestions. I also do not have faiths banding me to attaching myself to life or fear of death. I see some major issues that a great number of people either simply overlook or are complacent with - not knowing what to do with it. So at the very least; Hello. Also, [Absurdism](https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Absurdism).', 'You just pointed out **TWO** options and then said that **every** path is hopeless. What about these:What age are you? If you are above the age of majority I can see no reason why you seeking out medical help yourself would be of detriment, even in that environment. Youve already placed a target smack bang on your fathers head here. I guess the question that you should ask yourself is, are you considering Suicide (at least on some level) as a way to get at your father AND escape your misery. All I am suggesting is you should consider the roots of this first. You could be in a state now, but if you go get your own help at the very least that sense of agency could help you out. Even if you do resolve for Suicide later on.Think for a second, you are trapped and are considering the most exemplary option of agency (self-termination) as the option. So, it would be rather inconsequential, but effective, to do what you need to do and go sort out your own shit. In spite of your father.']

Supportive

user-294

['Understood. What if you dont have a doctor nor the funds to accommodate one? And what am I supposed to say?', 'Oh I had that in mind when I read it sir, not to say I dont appreciate your expansion in the matter. Ive been watching old YouTube clips, listening to Kid Cudi and Im currently downloading Grandmas Boy. Just trying to sink back into the folds of my mind and get in touch with a simpler time. Your view on art is perfect btw, though I Hyperactive behavior to also think that great art sometimes has to leave room for interpretation. As in its made in such a way that different people will come to different conclusions based on their own individual circumstances. In that sense, some art has the ability to actually speak to you as a person without having to endear to a sense of collective. I sincerely hope I dont sound condescending. Just trying to express the reason I Hyperactive behavior art.', 'Thanks man! Im gonna give this a go. Ive already downloaded the Man on the Moon album and a few others and Im changing my nightly walks to daily. Also a lot more yard work. Maybe even a garden? Naw no garden lol. But Ill give my mind and I a change of scenery. Get myself outta this rut Im in hopefully. Youre a good person to have put all the time/effort into typing that. ', 'You Irritable Mood Carl Jung? Isnt he a scientist? Also Im pretty sure youve heard it before but the poem Invictus by William Hernest Henley has and always will be my favorite poem. If you havent read it, Ive got a feeling youd Hyperactive behavior it :) Thanks for reminding about that haha. And yes, the artists/authors vision is not always black and white. They show you what they see and let you come to your own conclusions. This can both unite and isolate people. And I resent the people that think theyre the authority on art. Like when they say that video games arent art. I Irritable Mood it really is subjective what you can consider art, I know. But to me, art is anything that can be taken for anything beyond face value. Hell, Id even consider nature art. It may or may not be made by some benevolent(is that the one that means nice?) being but it can still speak volumes about the individual that can draw inspiration from it. Art teaches me the difference between the intrinsically beautiful and ugly sides of life. It can preach morality without stepping up on a Drug abuse horse. ', 'Thats a very concise way to put it, thank you. I was going in the opposite direction with my explanation. Im going to google Carl Jung and download some of his work though. Ive heard of him before but can only vaguely remember his what he practices let alone what hes taught.Thanks for being a cool dude/dudette. Im logging off for the day to air out and watch Grandmas Boy :) have a great day man, Ill catch up with you later.', 'Youre right, United States. Thanks for the advice. Ill see to it as soon as funds become available.', 'I plan on doing that tonight. Thanks man and I appreciate your help :)', 'Youre probably right. But whats a GP? Haha']

Indicator

user-396

['Im feeling pretty emotionally low just now too, so all I can say is -- a lot of life insurance policies wont pay after a Suicide. So just consider that as a practical matter.On a brighter note.. student loan forgiveness is a real idea that might actually happen someday.. you might think about getting involved in organizations that are pushing for it, if you have the energy and time. Other than that all I can do is sympathize. Student debt is awful; Ive been through it too. Money problems are very hard, much harder than people who have never had such problems realize.You are not worthless. Youre trying to get a job. What more can you do? It sounds Hyperactive behavior you are trying really hard and thats farther than many people get. ', 'What makes you think your parents dont Hyperactive behavior you? I know how it is when you start feeling down, and you start to question every positive feeling. Youre not wasting my time, by the way. As for friends in college, I made remarkably few when I was there. It made me feel Hyperactive behavior something was wrong with me. Over time I came to realize that I am the sort of person who does not need a lot of friends. I am quite happy by myself. But when I was in college and surrounded by a lot of people (who werent my friends), it seemed Hyperactive behavior I was doing it wrong. In actuality I was in the wrong place for me. All those people, making friends and doing whatever, that was fine for them. But it wasnt for me. I dont know if youre similar to me, but I shared in case it makes you feel better. College is a weird, short time, and it will come and go Hyperactive behavior the wind. ', 'Where are you studying? In the United States, a lot of people have jobs that arent related to their degrees. But just having a degree makes it easier to get a job of some kind. Not knowing all the circumstances of your situation, I would say that you should try to stick it out. You are not writing the whole book, just this one chapter. What comes after is unknown and full of possibility. In terms of classmates and friends, it seems to me that you need to branch out. You may have been so fixated on your boyfriend that you unconsciously excluded everyone else from your life. Open up a little, and see what happens. Just a smile can really work wonders. Or you could talk to your adviser and see about changing your major. You said you have a scholarship, and those usually have limitations, but maybe you could switch from aerodynamics to, say, math? or chemistry? What do you Hyperactive behavior better? Could you angle your classes in such a way that they are more palatable? I need to go to bed.. I work tomorrow, and I am tired.. but please do PM me if youd Hyperactive behavior to talk further. I hope I helped you, at least a little.', 'About the Suicide hotline--any chance your call was dropped or something? If it wasnt and they hung up on you--thats shitty. Ive only ever called one of those once, and the woman was extremely rude to me. I dont think Id ever call another one of those again. Hopefully my experience is not the norm.About your situation -- It sounds Hyperactive behavior you have some good things to look forward to, Hyperactive behavior the job and the stuff youve wanted to learn. You want to get better and you see a way to do it. On the other hand there is the rifle. My advice to you would be to embrace that good stuff. Get rid of the rifle. Pawn it. Get rid of all guns so they are not a temptation. You have some things going for you--the guy who pushes you in good ways, the job, yoga, cute running partner. Take these as gifts from the universe and build on them. ', 'Did you hate aerodynamics before he broke up with you?', 'Youre a doctor? Wow. That takes dedication. The things you want to do are admirable and would help a lot of people. Is that enough to keep you going? Volunteering is something you could get started with right away, I would think. Then you can work toward the other goals.I used to bake bread every week. Youre right, its peaceful, and theres something really nice about squishing dough in your hands and having it bake into something edible. I gotta go to bed. Ill be thinking about you, though. PM me if youd Hyperactive behavior to talk further. ', 'I can only offer a few ideas-- do you have a phone, and does it have video capability? Could you manage to take a video of your sister lying in the street, or doing something else obviously self-destructive? That might help when the authorities come around. Secondly, do you have a friend you can stay with for a while? There may be places you can go if you dont have a friend--womens shelters, for instance. Are you in Drug abuse school? Do you have a counselor or a good teacher who can offer you advice? How about your dad? (You mentioned "parents", plural.)I know its hard to think of options and solutions when emotions are running so Drug abuse. Try to Sedated state your mind and think over your options. ', 'Suspended doesnt Irritable Mood kicked out! If youre feeling Hyperactive behavior you cant handle school in general, how about taking some (voluntary) time off? Work, save up some money? ', 'Maybe it was a stupid way of me talking about this stuff, "the universe" doing things, I Irritable Mood. Because I dont actually believe in a sentient universe or god or anything Hyperactive behavior that. Anyway, I think most people dont understand just how hard it is to make it in life if you dont fit into this very small box of what is "normal". If you dont have a family, and education, and a healthy mind and body, and a job that pays enough,...all these things.. its just really hard. There are people who overcome, but there are a lot who just cant. The only reason Im still around is basically my dad, who has been a solid rock all my life. If he wasnt around.. hell, Im not sure what Id do. What is the thing you wanted to learn, that you posted about above? ', 'Pretty soon youll be an Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult and youll have a lot more control over your life. Things will improve. ', 'Im sure that anything I say will be mediocre at best, but..it will get better. It hurts Hyperactive behavior hell now, but in time it will Chest Pain less. He Chest Pain your heart, and thats grievous, but it will get better. Give yourself some time. Be gentle with yourself. You say you have 2 more years to go. If you find you really cant keep going to school, ask about a postponement of school or something. Take some time off and go back when youre ready. Or take a vacation. Go home for a while. You say you cant even kill yourself--this is very natural; it is a hard thing to do. We are genetically programmed to want to survive. And Ache is unpleasant. Overall, just be gentle with yourself and give yourself some time. ', 'As you get older you will have more options, and things will get better. Youll get out of your parents home. You wont have to be around the bullies at school. Just try to hang on for a little while longer. Youre already 17 so you dont have long to go. Keep your sights on the day when you can leave the crap behind. It will come. Make your plans and work toward them. I hope this doesnt sound preachy. Middle and Drug abuse school are lousy times for a lot of people, including myself. Believe me when I say that there is life after these times.. a lot of life. ', 'Im completely new to this subreddit, but as only one other person has commented, Ill post something. My friend, maybe youre thinking too far ahead. Just think about what you can do today, and perhaps tomorrow, to improve your situation. You already made one step (by going to work out). How are you feeling now? ']

Supportive

user-340

['I had a plan with a knife too, and when push came to shove on my pre-meditated time and day, I didnt have the courage or guts or willpower or whatever to do myself in. You dont want to die. You said it yourself, you need some help. If you wanted to die youd already be dead.', 'How you look has nothing to do with having a good time doing things.', 'Call this overly simplifying the problem of friends, but it is never too late to learn. Find something you Hyperactive behavior doing, do it, and if you want to be around people who you can get along with / get along with you find a way to do it in a group setting. If youre interested in Jazz find a bunch of venues and try to talk to people. "Hey there, by any chance are you in to the jazz scene? Okay, well I was curious if you know about any other shows." "Hey there mr. Comic book cashier. Do you know if there are any groups or clubs that meet to talk about latest releases?""Mr. Bowlarama dude, are there any leagues where I could play with more serious bowlers?"Friends are people you do things you both Hyperactive behavior together. Some things work better online (over-analyzing every new episode of The Walking Dead or celebrities who just got boob jobs), but nobody and nothing is ever too late to have friends.To comment on your age, youre being melodramatic. Youre 20 now. If you died of old age at 80, thats 60 years or 3/4 of your life. Thinking that 1/4 of your time has been wasted or squandered, thats really nothing. If you lost 8 minutes out of a half hour TV show (22 minutes of effective show), thats tolerable losses. But if you choose to not live, you just sat through 8 minutes of wasted commercials and turned the TV off before you could figure out if the TV show was amazing or an overall waste. You know what the first quarter of your life has been, but you have no knowledge of what the rest will hold, only hunches and guesses.', '*The only point is kids, procreation, furthering your genetics.*Despite all the other good points you made in your post, I think this is the beginning and ultimately the crux of your argument. I used to think Hyperactive behavior you, and feel the same way, and had crippling Mental Depression too, but it all changed and Ive successively better and better years from one little secret.I stopped giving a fuck. I stopped caring. I quit giving a damn about anything other than me.You mention travel, right? I travel, and I do it because I want to see something cool that is different from anywhere on the west coast (I grew up in Vancouver, kind of Hyperactive behavior your northern brother). I travel and I dont take a camera, I travel and I send maybe one email halfway through a one month trip, usually to let my next-of-kin know Im still alive. I dont travel to meet people, I dont travel to show people where Ive been, I travel to see shit that I think is cool, and eat food thats tasty and not american-ish.You seem to be in a rut of caring what other people think. You care that other people are monsters, that other people think and do not say,and that other people want you to sacrifice yourself for nothing. You care that other people think theyre better than you, that other people expect things of you, and that other people engage in hypocrisy.Im not going to tell you what to do, but Id Hyperactive behavior to give my two cents on what to try. Try looking at things a different way, a more personal and selfish way. Making somebody elses life better is not going to make yours, making YOUR life better will make your life better. Dont do anything you dont want to do, and dont care what other people are doing. Figure out something that seems fun, and engage in that instead of what is "supposed" to be fun when drinking coffee from a two-tailed mermaid.No matter when your life ends, whether its a week from now getting hit by the bus, ten years from cancer, or fifty years when you cant hack it anymore, the only thing that will matter to you is what you did. If you did things you did not enjoy, your life will have no meaning. If you filled your life with things you enjoy doing, or seem fun, then you will die fulfilled. I play pool and lots of video games every day. Some call it a waste of a life, but who cares about other people, am I right? Find something that seems fun to you, not what is "supposed" to be fun.', 'Im going to address your problems point by point. I will label them in what I think the order of priority is. Ill give a very brief pre-amble of my life.I just turned 25 in October. Ive been Depressed mood since the age of ten, and thought about Suicide since 13/14. I got a girlfriend senior year of HS, went to university, and dropped out during my 2nd semester. Said GF Ventricular Dysfunction, Left me a week prior to our one year and she shacked up with a friend I introduced her to. I spiralled hard, tried to take my life, and was in the psyche ward for two weeks. Struggled with Mental Depression for about two years after that, suicidal included, but things are stable now.**1. You will not be permitted to live with your parents/you do not have a job.**This is what you need to deal with right now. I personally think your parents are being little shits for threatening to kick you out at your lowest, but no matter what you have to have a solution. In the event you are going to get kicked out, you need to find a place to live. Try to rent out a room from somewhere on kijiji or craigslist. People have to be looking for one more roomie, and if you can score a cheap place to live for a little while youll get freedom. Not the same type of freedom you think you have had, but the freedom to be away from a parental structure that seems Megacolon, Toxic if they arent fostering your well being.**2. You are dropping out of University and do not have a means of financial support**This is a pretty obvious issue, and something you should be able to remedy fairly easy. Youre going to be on your own soon, and youre going to need to keep yourself afloat. You can bug /personalfinance on how to make it work, but any sort of minimum wage job for a while should keep you afloat in your new dive. The easy key is to try to work somewhere close to where you live. If you have to walk, bike, take transit, whatever, do it. As much as the job may suck, its sort of a necessity to help fix the other issues eating you up. Once you have these two done, as hard as it can be, as much as it might eat at you at night, this is when the hardest is over. What comes next is the easy part, the part that you dont have to work nearly as hard on to still get results, the Phobia, Social aspect.**3. You have Social Anxiety and its hindering your chances at friends and prospective lovers**The first thing Im going to do is steal an idea from Savage Love. Im sharing the link before I quote him. Granted youre not a meth addict doing orgies, but the root question is valid.http://www.avclub.com/article/get-it-together-209246*"Would you date you? If you wouldn\xe2\x80\x99t date someone in the condition you\xe2\x80\x99re currently in, GLC, then it\xe2\x80\x99s highly unlikely that anyone else would. The idea that there are millions of single people seeking romantic relationships with train wrecks is a fantasy promoted by Hollywood."* Social Anxiety Mental Depression is something I had for a while, and its something I learned my way through. Im going to say here and now if you dont have any friends, dont bother Panic for girlfriends. Girls are and can be fun, but if youre not the person who cant have any friends, youre in no shape to find girlfriends. Im not saying this to be Irritable Mood, Im just pointing out an oft-overlooked aspect of girls.Girlfriends are Girl-Friends. The same skills you will get to make friends and be a cool guy are the same that will be used for Girlfriends. If youre stuck at a minimum wage job, youre going to be surrounded by people. The key to getting through the day is to have something to talk about. Talk to other people, ask questions. Nobody is going to bite your head off if youre curious how long theyve worked there. Nobody is going to snub you for asking what they did with their days off... unless theyre a dick. Striking up conversation is pretending to care about somebody elses life and padding the imaginary resume of yours. If you dont have any interests and just Hypersomnia or masturbate all day, youre not going to have any redeeming qualities to talk about for any guys/gals you run across.Friends are hard to make. I think personally I have Hyperactive behavior two or three, but a lot of acquaintances and people I get along with. Its tough, it sorta sucks, but if you are interested in something youll eventually find somebody whos into it too. The reason youll find somebody interested in similar things is because of this little secret: As long as you dont kill yourself, youve got time. Youve been alive for 18 years, you should easily have another 36 years (at least) to find people who are into the things you are.To your final paragraph, heres my $.02. Suicide is always a way out, but its almost never the best way out. You may feel Hyperactive behavior pressure is getting to you and everything is Drug withdrawal syndrome down, and Ive been there before (countless times), but given enough time a solution makes itself clear.', 'I cant really provide much insight but if you want to join the military, I vote Navy. Navy is cushy in that youre always in the same bed, you have a floating kitchen and hospital always on hand, and the bigger the boat the less the seasickness.', 'I will throw my $.02 just Hyperactive behavior others here. I will address the Ex and the school/coursework.You are Drug abuse to meth. Your ex is Drug abuse to meth. Youre trying to get off the junk, so you get sober for a bit. Youre doing alright, but you occasionally deal with your ex who is talking about meth and getting Drug abuse and the feelings associated with it. Is this healthy, is this keeping you clean and well? No. Being around negative and destructive people will bring you down with them. Maybe when youre well past Mental Depression, maybe when youve truly nipped it in the butt, you could talk with him again. For now, dealing with people who are Megacolon, Toxic is not worthwhile.Furthermore, youre 18. You will meet a LOT of new people later on in life. Youre done dating this guy, youre past dealing with him, cut him off. Theres thousands of other guys around where you live (probably). Theres no reason to hang on to people who are not good for you own personal health.Furthermore, with school, I cant comment too much. I can say that you may be able to handle school better if you werent Depressed mood. It can also be depressing if all you do is Hypersomnia-eat-school-lounge. I know in my history of being Depressed mood that when I get down I get inactive and lethargic. Physical exercise (going for a run) is a great way to de-stressify yourself and tackle problems that come up. Movies are great, but movies dont have the same satisfaction as a body Exhaustion from a long run or some Abnormal dreams pool swimming. If you can avoid people who are dangerous and liable to take you down into their spiral, and if you can find a bit of an escape and healthy Stress relief from your school, you might find yourself better equipped to tackle the stressors of life.', 'How often have you made the effort to the two good friends to hang out or do something together? Most people suck, and often times they will not be the ones to call you first, text you first, or make plans to do something first. This doesnt Irritable Mood they dont want to hang out with you, it just means they have lives of their own. Sometimes I get so busy I lose track of some of the people I have hung out with from time to time, and sometimes they lose track of me. Life can be pretty busy at times, just because youre hung up over them not trying to make plans to hang out with you, doesnt Irritable Mood theyre feeling the same way. The older you get, the more you have to actively try to keep the friends you have lest you risk letting things fade apart.As for the female persuasion, Im going to tell you something I was told from a girl I met at a bar once. I was infatuated with a girl, and the situation was... a little similar. Unrequited affection. *"I fell in love with her, being my super shy self, I never told her how I feel to this day because I know how it would turn out, she has no clue about this"*By not telling this girl how you feel, because "you know how it will turn out," you are taking away her freedom to make that choice. At some point you will realize there are only a number of finite options you can make, and at no point is it permissible to be mad/upset at her for any of these.1. You dont tell her how you feel about hera) You find acceptance in yourself for only being a friend to this girl, orb) You cease being friends with her because it hurts too much.2. You tell her how you feel about hera) She reciprocates your feelings and things progressb) She is pushed away by your expression and...ba) you two remain friendsbb) you two stop being friends.There is one thing you know, and that is you are **not** certain how she feels. You can make educated guesses, you can base your decision off your observations. You do not know what this girl will respond because you have not asked her (youre not a mind reader), so its unfair to assume shes going to answer a certain way and hold it against her for that.Leaving this place will not solve all your problems. Leaving this place will be saying that you refuse to answer them, and youre going. Its Hyperactive behavior walking out on a test, nothing was solved, everything was Ventricular Dysfunction, Left blank. Your life is yours, you can make whatever choices you wish, but theres a lot of things youll miss on the test of life if you leave it blank too early.', 'I totally love the first half of your post, and I only read it after my own response which is pretty similar. I think were pretty similar in doing whatever the fuck we want to do without questioning or being questioned. Way better said than the paragraphs I glued together.', 'Do you mind expanding on that IranRPCV? To play devils advocate and pretend to be OP, how can you justify the reality of his importance to us? I have a feeling thats going to be his knee-jerk question, and I think its fairly valid to ask.', 'Theres a big difference between going for a drive with the intention of going off a bridge and actively, actually turning that steering wheel to do it. Every day for a month I drove the same highway to work, and every day there were three checkpoints where I could *"drive off a bridge"* as you put it but I couldnt. The actual will to end my life was not there, and it was the worst my Mental Depression got, knowing I couldnt end my life even if I wanted to.What changed over the years were a multitude of things, but the answer that works for me is the one that you describe in your own post. *"No one cares."* The moment you stop caring about other people, and its obvious to me you care very much, the more you can care about yourself. If you want to sun-tan naked then be damned all the people who stare and judge. If you want to eat your face off then be damned all the whispers and murmurs. Being an Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Adult human is relatively simple, its autonomy in the day to day of your life and having the final say in any decision about yourself. You cant control other people, but you can control yourself. The control over yourself you can try to exert is finding things that dont make you hate yourself, and repeating those actions instead of the ones that do.Finally, Ill address your last point head on.*You dont care, you never have cared, you never will care.* Youre absolutely right. I dont know you, Ive never known you, and I never will know you. The same is true about patrick in the UK, Franz in Germany, or Anne in Texas. You cant bleed your heart about each of the ~100,000 people a day who die, only those who you care about immediate to you. Beyond that, what we do, what Im doing, is just throwing my two cents into the bucket and maybe somebody will find it shiny enough to take with them.']

Attempt

user-112

['Ive recently had a string of unfortunate freak accidents in the same vein, the kicker was my bitchy dog (pun intended as she was a lady) died of bone cancer. Ive had her since I was itty bitty, so I know that feeling. Doesnt help that it was preceded and proceded by a string of baby animals under my care dying. Sure the chances werent good to begin with, but every little death has just chipped away at my soul since then. My mother has a hobby farm and all I can see anymore is a bunch of things I love Im going to have to watch die.As to your question, Criminal justice, see Clerks 2 for how that goes, "What were we, trying to be Batman?" The job market for the Batman is understandably limited. ', 'Honestly, I dont know. I originally wanted to be a lawyer, then I thought about just going into law enforcement in general, but I mentally talked myself out of it, and I really dont think I have the right mindset to be enforcing anything. Not to mention, guns scare the shit out of me and I doubt Id be able to use one, BB guns make me nervous. Yeah, so that degree is entirely worthless. As are my many, MANY credits in other fields. ', 'No, it couldnt, my method isnt going anywhere and Im trying to convince myself that I shouldnt by snuggling with puppies. Its not working. All I can think is how I dont want to see them grow up and die just like every single other thing Ive ever loved in my life that isnt a human being. Which would be everything but like five people. ']

Ideation

user-179

['I can be Tired socially inept. I feel like theres something fundamentally broken about me and that, even if I do improve, Ill never really be able to interact like a fully normal, healthy human being.', 'This is painfully similar to my own story. I posted here a while ago, if you want to read it. Do you want to talk?Also, where (as in what country) do you go to school? I know that, in the US at least, almost every single college and university has a counseling center that you can go to for free or a low cost. Is that an option for you?', 'Sleep will probably help. I know that when everything is getting to me, sleep helps me clear my mind. I feel more calm the next day.Heres something that might help you feel like theres a reason for you to still be here. Try to do one productive thing, or even just one thing to make you happy, every day. It can be something big like applying to a job or to a new school for next year, or something small like cleaning/organizing your things or just taking a walk.Cliche, I know, but I always feel a million times better when I know Ive gotten something done.Feel free to send me a PM any time you want. I cant promise that Ill reply immediately or anything, but Im on Reddit for at least a few minutes almost every day, so I will answer.Please, try to remember that youre not alone. :)', 'Im here to talk if you want. <3Ive been through a lot of the same things that you have - parents telling me Im being selfish and making problems for everyone when Im upset by their hurtful comments, a mother who goes back and forth between missing me and blowing up at me for the smallest things, etc. I hate to hear that someone else is living with that.If you have a friend whos offering you a place to stay, take it. Im sure your friends, if theyre real friends, care about you and dont want to see you without a home. You can help out around the house, to thank them for giving you a place to stay and so you dont feel so bad about it.Send me a message any time you want to chat.', 'You know, with all thats wrong with the world, sometimes theres nothing wrong with being a little naive.Im really happy that I could make you smile. :) I was having a pretty terrible day. I feel better now.', 'Im sorry that happened to you. :( It really sucks that theyd do that. I really dont think thats a good reason to stop being friends with someone you supposedly care about.Wanna be friends?', 'I think we might have the same mind or something. This is all strangely familiar.Do you have something that always helps lift you out of a Depression mood? Do that (as long as its healthy.) :)', 'I do this too. I imagine it. Often. But I have zero intention of ever going through with it. Its just calming to imagine it. As much as I hate myself, I dont want to die.', 'My inbox is always open!', 'Do you know if your school has a counseling center? Ive been having similar problems this semester, and the counseling center is helping me a lot. Im talking to someone there who is great with both helping me with my problems in their own right and in explaining my situation to and helping me work things out with my professors.', 'Im not going to be online for a few hours at least, but if you feel like you can wait, feel free to send me a message or just write something out here. Im not in such a great place myself, but Id really like to help other people who are struggling.', 'I may be depressed, but Im still capable of speaking up for myself. If this is the kind of attitude you have towards your fellow human beings, save yourself the time and everyone else the trouble of dealing with you and please dont visit r/suicidewatch.', 'Nobody who is a decent psychologist and human being will ever tell you that youre "not bad enough" to get help. You definitely deserve it.Did you know that there are lots of different kinds of therapy? Certain kinds are thought to help more with specific kinds of problems. It may also be the case that the counselors you saw just werent a good fit for you. That happens; please dont give up on seeking help because of it.You are not being a bitch, I promise you. First of all, your problems are definitely worth help. Theres no reason to be ashamed of seeking help, and anyone who will tell you otherwise really needs to reexamine how much sympathy they have for their fellow human beings. Second of all, Pain is relative. Just because other people have had "worse" things happen to them does not mean your feelings are invalid.I know what it feels like to doubt that your problems are significant, or to talk yourself out of doing anything about them. I also know that looking for help or doing something to help myself almost always makes me feel a lot better.You mentioned selling your gun. That might be a good idea. It sounds to me like having that gun readily accessible is dangerous for you. Not having it around might keep you from making an impulsive decision to Pain yourself. Not to mention the fact that if youre Worried about being able to pay for a psychologist, having the extra money cant Pain.Youre in "badass" mode? Remind yourself that feeling Suicidal is kind of like living with a monster, and being able to defeat it and live your life again is pretty badass. Fuck anyone who tells you that its Asthenia to get help or that your problems arent worth it. Youre a badass. Thats why you can make it through.', 'Im doing somewhat better. I got caught up in thinking about all my problems that day, and really just needed to get everything out. That made me feel better. Its good that youre doing the same. :)Im working to get myself back on track academically. You said you dropped out, but are you interested in going back to school? Please dont think that thats not an option because it didnt work out for you the first time. If its something that youre interested in doing, it just might give you the feeling that you have a future and something to stick around for.Im not saying you should definitely go back to school, but it is one good option. You can get help so that youre in the right mindset to do the work, work out your financial situation, and go study something that you love. It sounds to me like that might give you the sense of purpose that you dont have right now.If you think going back to school isnt for you - what else can you see yourself doing? Lets just assume, for a moment, that you decide to stay. What kind of job would you like to be doing?', 'Thanks for all of the support, everyone! I talked to the psychologist, talked to my boyfriend, and got some sleep. I feel a lot better. Im not saying that all of these problems are gone, far from it. But I was in that crazy kind of state where I was completely unable to handle anything and just needed to get all of my thoughts out. I did, and now I feel a lot better. It makes me really happy to know that this supportive community exists here.', 'Hey there. I have a similar story to yours. I posted it here last week. You can read it if you like. Im not going to pretend to understand exactly what your life is like, but I identify with a lot of what youre going through. Especially the social awkwardness and the academic issues.You might not believe this, because Im just a random person on the internet, but I do really care about you. I dont know if that means anything to you, but I hope it does. I know how much it can Pain to want to connect with people but not to be able to. Do you want to talk? Youre welcome to send me a private message if you dont feel like posting publicly.', 'So many people think that admitting that youre suffering is showing weakness. Its not. Its showing *strength.* Were fighting a terrible monster, and defeating that monster is one of the strongest things we can do.', 'Its kind of... cathartic, in a way. It lets me take out my Feeling unhappy with and Feeling angry at myself or others in a way thats not (physically) dangerous. I get some of the feeling of release without the consequence of, you know, actually dying. I guess its kind of similar to self-injury, in a way, but Im not physically harming myself.I hope youre okay.', 'Wouldnt you rather have a Depression, possibly Suicidal person, or more than one of them, feel better, even if you think the thing that made them feel better is cringeworthy bullshit? :(', 'I started tearing up with happy tears because you decided to save yourself. :,) I sincerely hope that life gets better for you from now on.', 'Im here to chat if you want to.', 'Im aware that that was an overly long, gigantic ball of crazy. Im sorry. I hope I didnt annoy anyone with it. Im leaving it up, though.Edit: It might help you to know that Im not quite as insane as that post makes me sound. Ive just been up all night in a futile attempt to study. My sleeping habits are ridiculous too, by the way.', 'Oh, wow, this sounds so painfully like me. Some of the specific situations are different, but the emotions are almost the same. Im going to reach out in a way I never do in real life and rarely online - wanna be friends? People like us need to support each other and help each other to be less lonely.', 'I feel a lot of conflicting things about myself. Most of the time, I hate myself. A lot. Very intensely. But I know Im good at at least a few things, I know I could do better. Its just that Ive wasted my potential, and also that Depression and whatever else is wrong with me has stolen it from me. Sometimes I feel like Im going to make it through all of this, and be able to really be myself again, but I always end up failing myself. Im hoping this time around will be when things finally change.I definitely wouldnt say that I love myself. I dont feel worthy of that. But I want my life to mean something.', '> But, whats another option?Blame the bullies, not the victims. Dont teach people that they should have to put up with the horrible people in their lives, but try to teach people not to be horrible people. Support people rather than criticizing them for being hurt. *Especially* in a community like this.', 'Are you still here? What would convince you to get through today - just this one day? Are you open to seeking help?I sincerely hope that youre still with us. :)', 'Thanks for your post. I had no idea this was an option for people with Depression. I think I might contact my schools disabilities resource center at the beginning of next semester.', 'What country do you live in? I ask because it seems like you could use some help with a few different things, and where you can look depends on where you live.Do you know of anywhere you can look for work?I know that a year can seem like a long time away, but next year is coming. Keep that in mind. That is something to look forward to, something to live for. Think about how good it will feel if you are able to make it to next year and get a fresh start in school.I promise you that it can be repaired. Would you be willing to call a hotline? Im still here to listen, but someone at a hotline might be able to direct you to professional help in your area, if thats what you want.', 'I feel like this too. A lot. Ive been dealing with social awkwardness and ineptitude and loneliness for years. Ive improved a bit, but Im so far from where I want to be. Now Im in this weird in-between stage, and that almost makes it worse, because I get glimpses into what life could be like, what it might be like someday. Except I dont have it yet, and I wonder if I ever will.If it makes you feel any better, I feel like Im getting just a little bit closer to being okay all the time. I still feel lonely and awkward and weird, a lot, but sometimes I look at how far Ive come in the past year, or five years, or since I was little, and feel amazed.', 'That second-to-last paragraph... how did you get inside my head? I know that feeling way too well, and I hate it. If you ever want to talk, send me a message.', 'You said that it helped you to have someone acknowledge that they read your post. I know what that feels like. Im letting you know that I saw it, too. :)', 'I know what it feels like to wish you had someone to talk to. I hate that lonely feeling. You can talk to me if youd like.', 'Dont ever think that you deserve to die just because you havent figured out what you want to do with your life yet. Every human life has value. Might sound cliche, but I do honestly believe that.Do you think that going back to school would be something youd be interested in? Most schools dont require you to pick a major right away. When you were younger, what subjects in school interested you?Im not trying to push you towards going back to school if thats really not what you want. I value education a lot, but university is not going to work for everyone. I do think that itd give you something to live for, though, and that you shouldnt give up if you are still interested.Feel free to tell me to shut up about school if youd rather try something else.', 'I used to have that enjoyment. I noticed that I rarely, if ever, feel it anymore. It can definitely be a result of Depression - its a well-known symptom, called [anhedonia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anhedonia).', 'Our situations are a little different, but Im also at a point that feels like rock bottom for me. This is going to sound incredibly cliche, but whats helping me get myself out of it is to try to do at least one thing to help myself and make my situation better every day.Sometimes I can have a normal, productive, happy day, and thats great! But right now, I cant always do that. I still try to get one thing done. Even if its small, as long as Im helping myself in some way, it counts. Maybe I just show up to a class that I havent been to in a while. Maybe I clean my room. Maybe I just send an email that Ive been needing to send. Anything, as long as Im doing something. And then, if I need to be, I can be off the hook for the rest of the day.Also, you said you fell in love with someone? Are you currently in a relationship, or just interested in the person? If youre in a relationship, and youre both happy and feel the relationship is healthy, dont automatically assume that you need to give it up. If youre not in a relationship, you might want to take some time to get yourself together, but dont give up hope.I started writing about my relationship, but I decided not to talk about that yet in case youre not in a similar situation and itd make you feel worse. Id be happy to talk about it and how its a good thing for me if youd like, though.']

Ideation

user-307

['Thank you for sharing...its proved to be another rough night. Was out all day, hence the late response. I do relate to this though...especially now.', 'Feeling lost at the moment... Confused in a way... Its Hyperactive behavior I want nothing more than to have someone to laugh with.., to talk about things with....but I wish the people currently in my life would just go away. I think my head is full of too many paradoxes... Go stay.... Live die... Love hate... Sleep awake.... Its overwhelming. Like Im two people at once. I can see things rationally... Like Im so overreacting kind of way... But I also feel this overwhelming sense of just give it up already -just how many times can I say its going to get better. My heart hurts. I know Im a better catch than the way the world treats me. Im Nausea of feeling less than adequate.... Theres a lot that goes into that...but yeah.Certain things make this lonely heart break more....Hyperactive behavior feeling cold...I remember what a warm body feels Hyperactive behavior.... I miss that so much. It makes me colder and sadder just thinking about that. Sometimes Ill see a joke or a comic....or want to try a new place....or go on vacation.... Vacation is a big one... And I realize theres no one to share this with... I can go away by myself.... But Im alone. It really fucking hurts to go through the life experience and have no witnesses. ', 'Are you kidding Ive even looked at websites where you pay someone to just cuddle with you... But it feels so desperate... I guess part of the problem is the want... I want the feeling if want... Ive done so so much wanting that I just want the roles reversed for five minutes. As for depression... I was treated for it at one point because of the result of a bad car accident that gave me PTSD.... But honestly it just felt Hyperactive behavior I was on pills that took away who I was. Plus the whole car accident basically just showed me how little I mattered to anyone even though I should have died.... And thats just it.... Part of my brain feels Hyperactive behavior I should have died.... And maybe thats why my life is so crap, theres no one on earth for me because I was supposed to die and it went wrong. If the guy that hit me just went a little faster I would maybe be part of the stars or birds or trees and I wouldnt feel this awful aloneness. ', 'I think my being alive might be an error. Im living beyond the expiration date. Or sometimes I just muse that maybe the love of my life is dead and thats why I dont get to meet them yet. I do my best to put on the good show regarding feeing depressed. I try not to make it public. Or drag anyone into it. ... But honestly, its bullshit because if I was pretty someone would be there anyway. We all know this. ', 'Ended up falling a asleep...still hurts though. Ill read your poem.Yeah I get a lot of that "Im looking for" but Im right here.... I love travel, so thats a big one. Not even to anywhere far.... Plus I think part of it has to do with my Facebook feed being full of honeymoons.... Love and travel... Greeeatt.... Plus I went to school with rich kids out of my Phobia, Social class all growing up... So they are always huge lavish honeymoons from successful brilliant people who have the connections to have the job of their dreams out of college.... But not my friend enough to help me - Ive tried. But the employment situation is a whole other thing. ']

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user-432

['Sounds Hyperactive behavior youre on the right track. Good luck! ', 'I didnt want you to refresh your post, and see those red words below-- "there doesnt seem to be anything here"... a bit too ominous, a bit too close to the mark when you feel that way. Ive attempted Suicide before-- and it wasnt unsuccessful by much. I know how awful it feels to be depressed. I hope that because of my own experience with similar feelings, that you will believe me when I tell you that shit isnt as bad as you think. Its Hyperactive behavior... a fucking trick or something. An illusion. Even when it sucks, you gotta remind yourself of this. Also, remember that random folks you never even met care about you, and want you to be alright. Im not much of a people person, but I want you to be alright. When other people read this, theyll tell you the same thing. Now heres my answer to your question:Yeah. Call up your folks and yak at them. Just say-- "Mom and Dad, I feel Hyperactive behavior shit. Its nearing up on being more than I can handle, and I just need to tell you that Im doing my best." Or whatever feels right, but do it.After that, go out. Being active in pretty much any manner helps much more than you would think. Make a small adventure-- go on a walk, and make it your mission to find some random free thing that you can put in your apartment. If you can, take a picture of it, and put it here. Well upvote the crap out of it. Good luck, talk to you soon.', 'Dont know if its weird to check up on ones Secret Santa or not, but I was curious about you. Saw this, so I figured Id comment. I deal with depression, and have been dealing with it for many years now. It has been more than a little while since Ive been in Drug abuse school, but Id Hyperactive behavior to think I still remember those times enough to be helpful. By 11th grade, its not unusual for people to be kind of moving in their own directions. Everyone is figuring SOMETHING out, whatever it may be-- that school sucks, that their town sucks, that they have the wrong friends, that they dont have friends, that theyre finally going to have to DO something with themselves or get stuck, etc. Its Hyperactive behavior "Realization Time." Maybe youre there, maybe not. Dont Increased Sweating it-- the point is that this makes lot of ripples and splashes in what has been an overall predictable experience up until this point. So your acquaintances are now distant and rude... without knowing anything else, I would first guess that theyre re-defining themselves in some way, Hyperactive behavior how you do when youre trying to end a conversation by getting near the door or turning slightly to the side. I might be wrong. They might also just be Social fear about moving on to wherever or whatever, and theyre cutting ties with folks on their own terms, before those ties are cut for them. This happens. Right now, you may be used to thinking of friends in terms of "life-long" friends, but thats primarily because youve been herded together as a group through school for much of your life. But as circumstances change, the people around you do as well-- going to college, finding a job in a bigger city, traveling with a job; these all bring new people into play in your life. In time, theyll probably be more significant as well, because youll be sharing experiences with them, and not with some person you knew in Drug abuse school. So I dont know-- you might not have friends right now. You might be "between" friends. Its an opportunity. Do something with it. Go yak at some people you dont ordinarily talk to. Start conversations in beast mode. Confidence (even fake confidence) pretty much covers all possible fuck-ups, handicaps, etc you may have in meeting/talking to people. Cant Stress that enough. Its kind of funny, because I remember Drug abuse school absolutely sucked for me, but looking back, it had the potential to be ridiculously easy if Id ever had a bit of courage/confidence about the whole thing. Took a long time to figure it out, so maybe the freakin book I just wrote will save you some time and trouble. Good luck with it, let me know how it goes. ', 'A young person in my small town recently committed Suicide. I believe they may have felt much the way you do. Although this person didnt believe it was possible, their life meant a great deal to many others-- parents, siblings, classmates, etc. He was convinced nobody cared for him, that nobody was there to share his troubles, or who could understand how he felt. The reality was that many people were there, and they did care, but that he just didnt see it yet. Surely there are people at school you might Hyperactive behavior to know better, but do you always express this openly? Youre not the only one who doesnt. There are kids who think similarly to you, who understand you, who might be your friend, who can help you along. Growing up is a process of finding these people slowly along the way. Give things time, youll come through. Message me if youd Hyperactive behavior to talk. Good luck!']

Attempt

user-487

['Being punished for no crime is not likely, him trying to help you might because he feels Hyperactive behavior he caused your emotional death. If you hate him then reject it. If not then accept, he might gain emotions and want you back then you will be happy again but dont keep your hopes up too Drug abuse and still look for that special someone since you were actually happy with a lover.', 'its alright, i may have a disorder from too much porn', 'For me that is what porn is for and women were for romance', 'I know that feeling i was rejected twice my life. No girl wanted me at the time. I got pissed at started punching bag training. Try working out to keep the mind occupied it will help with your predicament other than keeping you occupied.', 'I used Meetme and same thing all the women werent interested and the females gets tons of attention', 'then you have reason to live, them. Ask your self will they miss you when they die? If you say no then tell me why as you could just be thinking low of yourself.', 'No not really, i was there a year ago. When i read about WW3 being a possibility i was overjoyed because i would enlist then get shot in the head. I thought i was a lazy dumb fuck. A 19 year old Genital Diseases, Male virgin with 0% of getting laid. Screwing up in college and no job. I wanted to go to valhalla (norse afterlife). Believe me i been there. what got me out of it was getting a girl friend and realizing how much she loves me. You might need that as well. ', 'Honesty, she is not for you then, go find other beautiful women. You are 24, the odds are tremendous to find more virgin women. (If that is what you wanted).If she prefers a old saggy cock then let her, go find a women that will want you(not just sex).', 'then just think of your dad and how much he means to you. Killing your self will destroy him. Instead be the best you can be and make him proud. Think of this battle of emotions a great challenge to conquer and never admit defeat.', 'Yes smoking is bad because it can kill you and cause cancer. Well people died from stomach cancer yet there was no crusade to eating. Everything can kill you! People that doesnt see it are stupid, so ignore them. We are mortal so we are bound to die. You are alone because you smoke? ', 'dont Anxiety life gets tough, i know its cliche but do you have family and friends?', 'what music?', 'hey no problem, whenever you need someone to talk to just pm me :)']

Ideation

user-481

['That was an offer ya know ', 'Interesting advice, but I cant really muster much in the way of Anger right now.Mostly just regret, just the other day I was contemplating asking her to marry me Hyperactive behavior she had wanted to', 'http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtDMJ3NKOpo', 'Replace sad music with something epic, the kind of thing you hear and then immediately want to go out and fight a bear one on one.Also, you might wake up alone now, but baring some sort of highly accurate magic 8 Ball you dont know what the future holds.', 'And the best way to repay that love is not to put people who care about you through something Hyperactive behavior this.You want a reason to keep going? Make one up, do whatever the hell you want, what do you have to lose.', 'Yet again, thanks. Ill definitely try', 'Dunno really, depends what happens over the next week.', 'I can relate a little too well to this. Hell as of a couple of days ago we were back together, then it just sorta fell apart after she started thinking I was doing something I wasnt.Wish I had something useful to say, but Im way too drug and needed to get it off my chest ', 'Taxi + card= movement, or card, cash, train?', '2 things for you, one dont go walking into traffic, aside from the obvious danger it places you in I doubt it would the driver of the car that hits you much good either. Two if you feel Hyperactive behavior chatting, ranting, raving or any other possible variant thereof feel free to PM me ', 'Thats kinda the Abnormal behavior thing though, even if it was entirely her fault Id still feel the same way about her.And Im 23', 'Careful with that, I did just get given tomorrow off :p', 'Its whatever you want it to be', 'NoYoure amazing and dont you ever forget that.', 'I feel the same way more than Id Hyperactive behavior to lately. Waking up in an Depersonalization house knowing the one person I wanted to be there with me wont ever come back. Hell I made the mistake of reading through some of our old facebook messages, I really cant believe someone so loving and who cared about me so much turned into the person she is now. Its not right.', 'Allons-y', 'Yeah I know, I guess I always though that everything between the two of us was enough to get through a few of the Depressed mood moments Hyperactive behavior this ', 'Be careful doing that, you say my name 3 times and I show up wherever you are with a bottle of vodkaOh, et \xe2\x80\x8b\xe2\x80\x8bau cas o\xc3\xb9 il vous remonte le moral. Tu es toujours la personne la plus incroyable que jai jamais rencontr\xc3\xa9 dans mes 23 ans cette petite plan\xc3\xa8te \xc3\xa9trange', 'http://youtu.be/IcrbM1l_BoISoundtrack to some of the worst things Ive lived through, yet Im still here. Thats pretty hopeful if you ask me ', 'Maybe theyll both come back. ', 'Mine isnt ', 'Preciate the offer, but things getting better doesnt seem Hyperactive behavior the answer. Hell things got amazingly better before all this, just makes the inevitable fall so much harder', 'Damn it man, where were you when when I was about to blow my brains out. Id much rather be still alive because of a joke than a gun jamming.']

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