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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18M] with my girlfriend [18F] of 1 year, she currently has a boy who 'likes' her sleeping in the same room as her tonight
POST: My girlfriend spent the day with her long time friend (he has asked her out and tried to have sex with her before) which I initially had no problems with (although I am insecure) She just messaged me telling me that he's sleeping at her house tonight in the same room.
This is my first real relationship but she's also my best friend and I love her, but I don't know what to do. I don't want to be controlling, but I would have no idea if they did anything together. I also don't think it's really suitable for a relationship but that's what I'm looking for advice for. Am I overreacting?
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: Me [18M] with my girlfriend [18F] of 1 year, she currently has a boy who 'likes' her sleeping in the same room as her tonight\n\nPOST: My girlfriend spent the day with her long time friend (he has asked her out and tried to have sex with her before) which I initially had no problems with (although I am insecure) She just messaged me telling me that he's sleeping at her house tonight in the same room. \n\nThis is my first real relationship but she's also my best friend and I love her, but I don't know what to do. I don't want to be controlling, but I would have no idea if they did anything together. I also don't think it's really suitable for a relationship but that's what I'm looking for advice for. Am I overreacting?\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "gf sleeping in the same room with her friend who loves her, feel I'm overreacting by being upset/angry about it",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_493u87 | relationships | Me [18M] with my girlfriend [18F] of 1 year, she currently has a boy who 'likes' her sleeping in the same room as her tonight | My girlfriend spent the day with her long time friend (he has asked her out and tried to have sex with her before) which I initially had no problems with (although I am insecure) She just messaged me telling me that he's sleeping at her house tonight in the same room.
This is my first real relationship but she's also my best friend and I love her, but I don't know what to do. I don't want to be controlling, but I would have no idea if they did anything together. I also don't think it's really suitable for a relationship but that's what I'm looking for advice for. Am I overreacting? | gf sleeping in the same room with her friend who loves her, feel I'm overreacting by being upset/angry about it |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriend [22] might be hiding something and my friend is worried about me [22]. (How) should I bring this up with her?
POST: My girlfriend (A) and I have been "officially" dating for about a month now. Out of the blue, I get a call from an old friend (B) who is pretty close to her. He told me that she's been hiding some things that have happened in the past four months (he wouldn't give me details) and that he was really worried about me getting hurt sometime down the road.
Should I bring this up with A? If so, how? We can only see each other on the weekends, and I was thinking of bringing it up towards the end of our next date. I wouldn't go into too much detail. I'd just tell her that B is worried about me and ask her if I should be worried. I don't want to scare A off, but at the same time I don't want to betray the trust between A and B (B was one of my best friends growing up and has been dating A's best friend for four years now).
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: Girlfriend [22] might be hiding something and my friend is worried about me [22]. (How) should I bring this up with her?\n\nPOST: My girlfriend (A) and I have been \"officially\" dating for about a month now. Out of the blue, I get a call from an old friend (B) who is pretty close to her. He told me that she's been hiding some things that have happened in the past four months (he wouldn't give me details) and that he was really worried about me getting hurt sometime down the road.\n\nShould I bring this up with A? If so, how? We can only see each other on the weekends, and I was thinking of bringing it up towards the end of our next date. I wouldn't go into too much detail. I'd just tell her that B is worried about me and ask her if I should be worried. I don't want to scare A off, but at the same time I don't want to betray the trust between A and B (B was one of my best friends growing up and has been dating A's best friend for four years now).\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Friend knows something about my girlfriend and he's worried it will cause trouble between my girlfriend and I. Should I bring this up with her and if so, how?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_18xe9f | relationships | Girlfriend [22] might be hiding something and my friend is worried about me [22]. (How) should I bring this up with her? | My girlfriend (A) and I have been "officially" dating for about a month now. Out of the blue, I get a call from an old friend (B) who is pretty close to her. He told me that she's been hiding some things that have happened in the past four months (he wouldn't give me details) and that he was really worried about me getting hurt sometime down the road.
Should I bring this up with A? If so, how? We can only see each other on the weekends, and I was thinking of bringing it up towards the end of our next date. I wouldn't go into too much detail. I'd just tell her that B is worried about me and ask her if I should be worried. I don't want to scare A off, but at the same time I don't want to betray the trust between A and B (B was one of my best friends growing up and has been dating A's best friend for four years now). | Friend knows something about my girlfriend and he's worried it will cause trouble between my girlfriend and I. Should I bring this up with her and if so, how? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my BF [27 M]: His housemate wants me to pay rent and bills just for staying there.
POST: I don't think I'm being unreasonable by asking WTF kind of backwards thinking is this:
*I've been with my boyfriend almost 18 months.
*I stay at his house (and he has 2 housemates) for *most* nights of the week
and somehow this justifies me paying for rent and bills.
However:
*I never wash/shower at his house except when I brush my teeth.
*I never use electricity for my own things except for *one* day when I stayed home to do some homework in peace away from my own household - which I realise would raise suspicions - but this was months ago now.
*My boyfriend *assures* me that the cost of bills has not increased since the beginning of our relationship. I get paranoid about our relationship with his housemates, so am often asking him if I'm leaving an expensive footprint but he says no.
*I generally do not use anything that my boyfriend wouldn't have been using anyway.
*Even when I'm around, my bf and I stay in his room, away from the others so as to not make them feel uncomfortable or like they're not free to do as they please in their own home. I am *very* conscious of this.
Generally speaking, I make a conscious effort to not abuse my stay. Admittedly, I do stay til late in the morning sometimes but **only** if I start work later, and this is because I'll sleep later. I do not ever lie in his bed sucking up all the electricity watching TV etc.
I just needed to vent this. I'll talk to him about it tonight, and if refusing to pay up means I can't stay over as much then I'd be willing to compromise but still WTF.
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: Me [24 M] with my BF [27 M]: His housemate wants me to pay rent and bills just for staying there.\n\nPOST: I don't think I'm being unreasonable by asking WTF kind of backwards thinking is this: \n*I've been with my boyfriend almost 18 months. \n*I stay at his house (and he has 2 housemates) for *most* nights of the week \nand somehow this justifies me paying for rent and bills. \n \nHowever: \n*I never wash/shower at his house except when I brush my teeth. \n*I never use electricity for my own things except for *one* day when I stayed home to do some homework in peace away from my own household - which I realise would raise suspicions - but this was months ago now.\n*My boyfriend *assures* me that the cost of bills has not increased since the beginning of our relationship. I get paranoid about our relationship with his housemates, so am often asking him if I'm leaving an expensive footprint but he says no. \n*I generally do not use anything that my boyfriend wouldn't have been using anyway. \n*Even when I'm around, my bf and I stay in his room, away from the others so as to not make them feel uncomfortable or like they're not free to do as they please in their own home. I am *very* conscious of this.\n \nGenerally speaking, I make a conscious effort to not abuse my stay. Admittedly, I do stay til late in the morning sometimes but **only** if I start work later, and this is because I'll sleep later. I do not ever lie in his bed sucking up all the electricity watching TV etc. \n\nI just needed to vent this. I'll talk to him about it tonight, and if refusing to pay up means I can't stay over as much then I'd be willing to compromise but still WTF.\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "BF's housemate wants me to pay rent and bills just because I stay over a lot. Bills have not increased and I don't use water or electricity anyway. Thoughts?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_3fre3a | relationships | Me [24 M] with my BF [27 M]: His housemate wants me to pay rent and bills just for staying there. | I don't think I'm being unreasonable by asking WTF kind of backwards thinking is this:
*I've been with my boyfriend almost 18 months.
*I stay at his house (and he has 2 housemates) for *most* nights of the week
and somehow this justifies me paying for rent and bills.
However:
*I never wash/shower at his house except when I brush my teeth.
*I never use electricity for my own things except for *one* day when I stayed home to do some homework in peace away from my own household - which I realise would raise suspicions - but this was months ago now.
*My boyfriend *assures* me that the cost of bills has not increased since the beginning of our relationship. I get paranoid about our relationship with his housemates, so am often asking him if I'm leaving an expensive footprint but he says no.
*I generally do not use anything that my boyfriend wouldn't have been using anyway.
*Even when I'm around, my bf and I stay in his room, away from the others so as to not make them feel uncomfortable or like they're not free to do as they please in their own home. I am *very* conscious of this.
Generally speaking, I make a conscious effort to not abuse my stay. Admittedly, I do stay til late in the morning sometimes but **only** if I start work later, and this is because I'll sleep later. I do not ever lie in his bed sucking up all the electricity watching TV etc.
I just needed to vent this. I'll talk to him about it tonight, and if refusing to pay up means I can't stay over as much then I'd be willing to compromise but still WTF. | BF's housemate wants me to pay rent and bills just because I stay over a lot. Bills have not increased and I don't use water or electricity anyway. Thoughts? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [16 M] think one of my friends [17 F] is self-harming. What should I do?
POST: I was talking to two of my friends at school yesterday - we'll call them Mary and Emma. Emma is a good friend of mine and one of Mary's best friends. Mary and I aren't particularly close, but we still talk quite a bit. She doesn't really take anything that seriously; she's always making a joke.
It was a fairly normal conversation, and nothing seemed off about it. Then at one point, I noticed that Mary had a few scars across her wrist. I didn't realise what they probably were at first, and asked her what happened. They both went quiet. Mary turned her arm away. A few moments later they got up and left to go talk in private. By this point I'd realised what I said. I sat there for a few moments, feeling worried and guilty, then got up to leave (it was pretty much the end of the day and I didn't have any classes left).
I ran into Emma on the way home. I asked her if Mary was alright, and she said "She's really fucked. Nah, don't worry about it, she'll be fine." The first bit seemed kind of sarcastic, but I can't tell if it really was sarcasm or if she was just playing it off as a joke. I can't remember the rest of the conversation, so I don't really know what else was said.
The whole thing just seems so surreal, like a bad dream. Emma told me that I should try and forget about it, but I just can't stop thinking about it. I feel like I should do something, but like I said we're not particularly close and I don't think Mary would be comfortable talking openly about it with me. I want to be able to help, and I don't want her to feel uncomfortable around me because of this. I just feel so helpless.
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: I [16 M] think one of my friends [17 F] is self-harming. What should I do?\n\nPOST: I was talking to two of my friends at school yesterday - we'll call them Mary and Emma. Emma is a good friend of mine and one of Mary's best friends. Mary and I aren't particularly close, but we still talk quite a bit. She doesn't really take anything that seriously; she's always making a joke.\n\nIt was a fairly normal conversation, and nothing seemed off about it. Then at one point, I noticed that Mary had a few scars across her wrist. I didn't realise what they probably were at first, and asked her what happened. They both went quiet. Mary turned her arm away. A few moments later they got up and left to go talk in private. By this point I'd realised what I said. I sat there for a few moments, feeling worried and guilty, then got up to leave (it was pretty much the end of the day and I didn't have any classes left).\n\nI ran into Emma on the way home. I asked her if Mary was alright, and she said \"She's really fucked. Nah, don't worry about it, she'll be fine.\" The first bit seemed kind of sarcastic, but I can't tell if it really was sarcasm or if she was just playing it off as a joke. I can't remember the rest of the conversation, so I don't really know what else was said.\n\nThe whole thing just seems so surreal, like a bad dream. Emma told me that I should try and forget about it, but I just can't stop thinking about it. I feel like I should do something, but like I said we're not particularly close and I don't think Mary would be comfortable talking openly about it with me. I want to be able to help, and I don't want her to feel uncomfortable around me because of this. I just feel so helpless.\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Saw a friend had self-harm scars and want to know what I can do to help, or at least make her feel more comfortable.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_3uf4g1 | relationships | I [16 M] think one of my friends [17 F] is self-harming. What should I do? | I was talking to two of my friends at school yesterday - we'll call them Mary and Emma. Emma is a good friend of mine and one of Mary's best friends. Mary and I aren't particularly close, but we still talk quite a bit. She doesn't really take anything that seriously; she's always making a joke.
It was a fairly normal conversation, and nothing seemed off about it. Then at one point, I noticed that Mary had a few scars across her wrist. I didn't realise what they probably were at first, and asked her what happened. They both went quiet. Mary turned her arm away. A few moments later they got up and left to go talk in private. By this point I'd realised what I said. I sat there for a few moments, feeling worried and guilty, then got up to leave (it was pretty much the end of the day and I didn't have any classes left).
I ran into Emma on the way home. I asked her if Mary was alright, and she said "She's really fucked. Nah, don't worry about it, she'll be fine." The first bit seemed kind of sarcastic, but I can't tell if it really was sarcasm or if she was just playing it off as a joke. I can't remember the rest of the conversation, so I don't really know what else was said.
The whole thing just seems so surreal, like a bad dream. Emma told me that I should try and forget about it, but I just can't stop thinking about it. I feel like I should do something, but like I said we're not particularly close and I don't think Mary would be comfortable talking openly about it with me. I want to be able to help, and I don't want her to feel uncomfortable around me because of this. I just feel so helpless. | Saw a friend had self-harm scars and want to know what I can do to help, or at least make her feel more comfortable. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Alright Reddit, What is the worst/craziest thing you've ever done at a party?
POST: I only think it is fair I should begin.
So growing up in a small town everybody knows everybody but once in awhile we got a rare chance to go to these massive house parties out in the country. These parties were usually thrown by really rich kids with massive houses and tons of money to throw away and what was my favorite part was that since these kids were in a different school district we never really knew them or had to see them on a regular basis.
So we're at this party having a great time and what not but like I'm prone to do I drink waaay to much and pass out. So I'm laying on the sofa when suddenly its like Jesus himself brings me forth and is like "Steve, you need to piss NOW". So I jump up.
Y'know when you need to piss but there is like this subconscious countdown that begins in your head? You're like "I gotta pee...but I got like 5 minutes until systems go critical." Well I just woke up from my beer-coma and systems were beyond critical.
So I start running towards my best guess where a bathroom might be but as this is a massive house I get a little lost. I run into a dark room and think "Fuck it. I'm not peeing myself." So I whip down my pants and start peeing.
I hear this weird hissing noise but I'm too busy feeling relieved to care so once I'm done I zip up and walk away.
A few minutes later people are saying they can smell something really rank, kinda like piss. I can smell it too.
So this smell is permeating throughout the house and everyone is talking about it trying to find the source. Finally this girls who's throwing the party Dad comes down and starts investigating.
He comes back a few minutes later red as a child's freshly spanked bottom and screams "WHO PISSED ON THE FURNACE!?"
I've never ran so fast in my life.
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit\n\nTITLE: Alright Reddit, What is the worst/craziest thing you've ever done at a party?\n\nPOST: I only think it is fair I should begin.\n\nSo growing up in a small town everybody knows everybody but once in awhile we got a rare chance to go to these massive house parties out in the country. These parties were usually thrown by really rich kids with massive houses and tons of money to throw away and what was my favorite part was that since these kids were in a different school district we never really knew them or had to see them on a regular basis.\n\nSo we're at this party having a great time and what not but like I'm prone to do I drink waaay to much and pass out. So I'm laying on the sofa when suddenly its like Jesus himself brings me forth and is like \"Steve, you need to piss NOW\". So I jump up.\n\nY'know when you need to piss but there is like this subconscious countdown that begins in your head? You're like \"I gotta pee...but I got like 5 minutes until systems go critical.\" Well I just woke up from my beer-coma and systems were beyond critical. \n\nSo I start running towards my best guess where a bathroom might be but as this is a massive house I get a little lost. I run into a dark room and think \"Fuck it. I'm not peeing myself.\" So I whip down my pants and start peeing.\n\nI hear this weird hissing noise but I'm too busy feeling relieved to care so once I'm done I zip up and walk away.\n\nA few minutes later people are saying they can smell something really rank, kinda like piss. I can smell it too.\n\nSo this smell is permeating throughout the house and everyone is talking about it trying to find the source. Finally this girls who's throwing the party Dad comes down and starts investigating.\n\nHe comes back a few minutes later red as a child's freshly spanked bottom and screams \"WHO PISSED ON THE FURNACE!?\"\n\nI've never ran so fast in my life.\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Got super drunk, passed out, had to take emergency piss and pee'd on the furnace causing the smell of stinky urine to permeate the house.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_nwu8y | AskReddit | Alright Reddit, What is the worst/craziest thing you've ever done at a party? | I only think it is fair I should begin.
So growing up in a small town everybody knows everybody but once in awhile we got a rare chance to go to these massive house parties out in the country. These parties were usually thrown by really rich kids with massive houses and tons of money to throw away and what was my favorite part was that since these kids were in a different school district we never really knew them or had to see them on a regular basis.
So we're at this party having a great time and what not but like I'm prone to do I drink waaay to much and pass out. So I'm laying on the sofa when suddenly its like Jesus himself brings me forth and is like "Steve, you need to piss NOW". So I jump up.
Y'know when you need to piss but there is like this subconscious countdown that begins in your head? You're like "I gotta pee...but I got like 5 minutes until systems go critical." Well I just woke up from my beer-coma and systems were beyond critical.
So I start running towards my best guess where a bathroom might be but as this is a massive house I get a little lost. I run into a dark room and think "Fuck it. I'm not peeing myself." So I whip down my pants and start peeing.
I hear this weird hissing noise but I'm too busy feeling relieved to care so once I'm done I zip up and walk away.
A few minutes later people are saying they can smell something really rank, kinda like piss. I can smell it too.
So this smell is permeating throughout the house and everyone is talking about it trying to find the source. Finally this girls who's throwing the party Dad comes down and starts investigating.
He comes back a few minutes later red as a child's freshly spanked bottom and screams "WHO PISSED ON THE FURNACE!?"
I've never ran so fast in my life. | Got super drunk, passed out, had to take emergency piss and pee'd on the furnace causing the smell of stinky urine to permeate the house. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Is it a date? Or just as friends? M(18) F(17)
POST: So, I've know this girl a while through other friends and she's been at gatherings I've been to. The other day at a party I finally plucked up the courage to talk to her properly (not just the usual "hi how are you" stuff) and we got on really well.
The only problem was she then started talking to her friend about how she isn't sure if she likes this guy. She said he was a bit of a dick. My friend (also her best friend), being a boss of a wingwoman, told her "don't go for dicks, because you'll just end up getting hurt". So the girl I like asked "But who isn't a dick?" and my friend pointed at me and said "He's not a dick, he's my best friend".
Next day I decided to talk to her over facebook and ask if she wanted to see a film which she said she really wanted to see. (I've already seen it but it's so good I want to go twice). She said it's be "really nice" and we organised a day. I asked her about getting something to eat before and she said we could just "go and have a coffee".
The thing is, I don't fully know whether it's an actual date, or just as friends. We both really love the film, so it could just be that, but we don't really know each other well enough for it to be something friends would do. But then again, there is still that guy who she wasn't sure whether she liked...will he just leave the equation instantly? So, basically, in your opinion, Reddit, is it a date?
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice\n\nTITLE: Is it a date? Or just as friends? M(18) F(17)\n\nPOST: So, I've know this girl a while through other friends and she's been at gatherings I've been to. The other day at a party I finally plucked up the courage to talk to her properly (not just the usual \"hi how are you\" stuff) and we got on really well. \n\nThe only problem was she then started talking to her friend about how she isn't sure if she likes this guy. She said he was a bit of a dick. My friend (also her best friend), being a boss of a wingwoman, told her \"don't go for dicks, because you'll just end up getting hurt\". So the girl I like asked \"But who isn't a dick?\" and my friend pointed at me and said \"He's not a dick, he's my best friend\". \n\nNext day I decided to talk to her over facebook and ask if she wanted to see a film which she said she really wanted to see. (I've already seen it but it's so good I want to go twice). She said it's be \"really nice\" and we organised a day. I asked her about getting something to eat before and she said we could just \"go and have a coffee\". \n\nThe thing is, I don't fully know whether it's an actual date, or just as friends. We both really love the film, so it could just be that, but we don't really know each other well enough for it to be something friends would do. But then again, there is still that guy who she wasn't sure whether she liked...will he just leave the equation instantly? So, basically, in your opinion, Reddit, is it a date?\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "A girl who I only know a little has said yes to seeing a film with me, which we both really want to see, and suggested we have coffee before, is it a date, or just as friends?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_12ax1j | dating_advice | Is it a date? Or just as friends? M(18) F(17) | So, I've know this girl a while through other friends and she's been at gatherings I've been to. The other day at a party I finally plucked up the courage to talk to her properly (not just the usual "hi how are you" stuff) and we got on really well.
The only problem was she then started talking to her friend about how she isn't sure if she likes this guy. She said he was a bit of a dick. My friend (also her best friend), being a boss of a wingwoman, told her "don't go for dicks, because you'll just end up getting hurt". So the girl I like asked "But who isn't a dick?" and my friend pointed at me and said "He's not a dick, he's my best friend".
Next day I decided to talk to her over facebook and ask if she wanted to see a film which she said she really wanted to see. (I've already seen it but it's so good I want to go twice). She said it's be "really nice" and we organised a day. I asked her about getting something to eat before and she said we could just "go and have a coffee".
The thing is, I don't fully know whether it's an actual date, or just as friends. We both really love the film, so it could just be that, but we don't really know each other well enough for it to be something friends would do. But then again, there is still that guy who she wasn't sure whether she liked...will he just leave the equation instantly? So, basically, in your opinion, Reddit, is it a date? | A girl who I only know a little has said yes to seeing a film with me, which we both really want to see, and suggested we have coffee before, is it a date, or just as friends? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] and my best friend [22F] got into a relationship - I need help
POST: We have been best friends since high school, we talked about everything and everybody and always had a good time together. She was the perfect "best friend", someone who would stay with you, the rest of your life. And then we got even closer. She fell in love with me, I couldnt hurt her so we started to evolve into a couple. The relationship has been official for a few months now, but we have been acting like a couple for over a year. I fear any advice might be too late.
The thing is: I like her, but I want to be single ( - doesn't really have to make sense to you, as long as it makes sense to me)
I am old enough to know, that if I would break up with her I will lose her and our lives will seperate, but I really want her to be a part of mine.
I regret that I was too weak to say "no" to her, for our friendships sake.
But I know she is perfect for me, would be the perfect wife, but I am not ready for this. I now wish I would have met her in a few years, when I would actually be looking for that special someone.
I don't know what to do right now. I am happy when I'm with her, but I feel that there will be an end to the relationship (maybe in a few months, maybe in a few years, who knows).
Is there any possible way I wont lose her as soon as this is over? Can we somehow manage to stay friends? Does anybody have any experience or advice for me?
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: Me [22 M] and my best friend [22F] got into a relationship - I need help\n\nPOST: We have been best friends since high school, we talked about everything and everybody and always had a good time together. She was the perfect \"best friend\", someone who would stay with you, the rest of your life. And then we got even closer. She fell in love with me, I couldnt hurt her so we started to evolve into a couple. The relationship has been official for a few months now, but we have been acting like a couple for over a year. I fear any advice might be too late.\n\nThe thing is: I like her, but I want to be single ( - doesn't really have to make sense to you, as long as it makes sense to me) \nI am old enough to know, that if I would break up with her I will lose her and our lives will seperate, but I really want her to be a part of mine.\nI regret that I was too weak to say \"no\" to her, for our friendships sake.\nBut I know she is perfect for me, would be the perfect wife, but I am not ready for this. I now wish I would have met her in a few years, when I would actually be looking for that special someone.\n\nI don't know what to do right now. I am happy when I'm with her, but I feel that there will be an end to the relationship (maybe in a few months, maybe in a few years, who knows).\nIs there any possible way I wont lose her as soon as this is over? Can we somehow manage to stay friends? Does anybody have any experience or advice for me?\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Got into a relationship with my best friend, but I feel that it has a deadline - looking for help cause I don't want to lose her.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_2fumiw | relationships | Me [22 M] and my best friend [22F] got into a relationship - I need help | We have been best friends since high school, we talked about everything and everybody and always had a good time together. She was the perfect "best friend", someone who would stay with you, the rest of your life. And then we got even closer. She fell in love with me, I couldnt hurt her so we started to evolve into a couple. The relationship has been official for a few months now, but we have been acting like a couple for over a year. I fear any advice might be too late.
The thing is: I like her, but I want to be single ( - doesn't really have to make sense to you, as long as it makes sense to me)
I am old enough to know, that if I would break up with her I will lose her and our lives will seperate, but I really want her to be a part of mine.
I regret that I was too weak to say "no" to her, for our friendships sake.
But I know she is perfect for me, would be the perfect wife, but I am not ready for this. I now wish I would have met her in a few years, when I would actually be looking for that special someone.
I don't know what to do right now. I am happy when I'm with her, but I feel that there will be an end to the relationship (maybe in a few months, maybe in a few years, who knows).
Is there any possible way I wont lose her as soon as this is over? Can we somehow manage to stay friends? Does anybody have any experience or advice for me? | Got into a relationship with my best friend, but I feel that it has a deadline - looking for help cause I don't want to lose her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Wanting to go to an out of area school for 6 months. How would you pull it off?
POST: I'm wanting to go to a very prestigious furniture making and design school. The best part is is that it is ran by a community college so the fees will not be insane.
This school would be an investment for my side business in woodworking.
My question though is that I have a full-time job in healthcare. I've talked to my manager and I would not have to quit my job. I could go on Per Diem and show up to work from 2 days every 2 months to stay on payroll and retain my job.
The school is about a three hour drive (James Krenov school of fine wood working in Fort Bragg, CA)
And we would work 5 or 6 days a week for 10 hour days. It's very intense.
I rent a house and make a payment on my truck. The car is paid off.
I'd like to keep the house because I have a full sized shop detached from the house with all of my woodworking equipment and tools.
So either I could find someone to take my room for 6 months and pay the rent or eat the bill myself (700/month)
My greatest concern about doing this is that I would not have an income for 6 months and would probably have to find a room or apartment to go to school in the area.
I have a gf who is a RN and said she would help me with bills and finances til I was finished but I really don't want to do that.
I'm not sure I would qualify for student loans either aside from private loans because I fear my income might be too high, though I haven't looked.
It looks like I'd have to live off savings.
So,
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance\n\nTITLE: Wanting to go to an out of area school for 6 months. How would you pull it off?\n\nPOST: I'm wanting to go to a very prestigious furniture making and design school. The best part is is that it is ran by a community college so the fees will not be insane. \nThis school would be an investment for my side business in woodworking.\n\nMy question though is that I have a full-time job in healthcare. I've talked to my manager and I would not have to quit my job. I could go on Per Diem and show up to work from 2 days every 2 months to stay on payroll and retain my job. \n\nThe school is about a three hour drive (James Krenov school of fine wood working in Fort Bragg, CA) \nAnd we would work 5 or 6 days a week for 10 hour days. It's very intense. \n\nI rent a house and make a payment on my truck. The car is paid off. \nI'd like to keep the house because I have a full sized shop detached from the house with all of my woodworking equipment and tools. \nSo either I could find someone to take my room for 6 months and pay the rent or eat the bill myself (700/month) \n\nMy greatest concern about doing this is that I would not have an income for 6 months and would probably have to find a room or apartment to go to school in the area. \n\nI have a gf who is a RN and said she would help me with bills and finances til I was finished but I really don't want to do that. \n\nI'm not sure I would qualify for student loans either aside from private loans because I fear my income might be too high, though I haven't looked. \nIt looks like I'd have to live off savings. \n\nSo,\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I want to go to school for a 6 month program out of area as an investment for my business and self. ",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_3x4k80 | personalfinance | Wanting to go to an out of area school for 6 months. How would you pull it off? | I'm wanting to go to a very prestigious furniture making and design school. The best part is is that it is ran by a community college so the fees will not be insane.
This school would be an investment for my side business in woodworking.
My question though is that I have a full-time job in healthcare. I've talked to my manager and I would not have to quit my job. I could go on Per Diem and show up to work from 2 days every 2 months to stay on payroll and retain my job.
The school is about a three hour drive (James Krenov school of fine wood working in Fort Bragg, CA)
And we would work 5 or 6 days a week for 10 hour days. It's very intense.
I rent a house and make a payment on my truck. The car is paid off.
I'd like to keep the house because I have a full sized shop detached from the house with all of my woodworking equipment and tools.
So either I could find someone to take my room for 6 months and pay the rent or eat the bill myself (700/month)
My greatest concern about doing this is that I would not have an income for 6 months and would probably have to find a room or apartment to go to school in the area.
I have a gf who is a RN and said she would help me with bills and finances til I was finished but I really don't want to do that.
I'm not sure I would qualify for student loans either aside from private loans because I fear my income might be too high, though I haven't looked.
It looks like I'd have to live off savings.
So, | I want to go to school for a 6 month program out of area as an investment for my business and self. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by scaring the shit out of my friends
POST: So this happened just today. We're in highschool and me and my three friends (lets call them Bob, Steven and Tong) were eating lunch and chilling. We were making fun of Bob as we usually do and then Tong brings up the topic of the Charlie, Charlie pencil game (if you don't know what it is then go on youtube). We all tried it except for Bob and the pencil didn't move. So we all persuaded Bob to join in and I had this amazing thought. What if I just scared the shit out of my friends.
Now, Tong and Bob were paranoid from this game for some weird reason and get scared easily. So when Bob said Charlie, Charlie come play with me, I decided to quietly blow the pencil to 'Yes'. Tong started screaming and ran so fast around the corner. Bob was probably scared as crap because it only worked for him, and Steven and I are just laughing our asses off.
Me and my friends calmed down and we all started trying it for ourselves. Steven, Tong and I tried it and I blew it to 'No' all 3 times. Then Bob tried it again and i blew it to 'Yes'.
My friends were scared shitless. I would be surprised if Tong comes to school tommorow.
**They believe that if it says 'Yes', you have to hide from the paper for three hours or Charlie will find you (I'm not even joking)
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/tifu\n\nTITLE: TIFU by scaring the shit out of my friends\n\nPOST: So this happened just today. We're in highschool and me and my three friends (lets call them Bob, Steven and Tong) were eating lunch and chilling. We were making fun of Bob as we usually do and then Tong brings up the topic of the Charlie, Charlie pencil game (if you don't know what it is then go on youtube). We all tried it except for Bob and the pencil didn't move. So we all persuaded Bob to join in and I had this amazing thought. What if I just scared the shit out of my friends. \n\nNow, Tong and Bob were paranoid from this game for some weird reason and get scared easily. So when Bob said Charlie, Charlie come play with me, I decided to quietly blow the pencil to 'Yes'. Tong started screaming and ran so fast around the corner. Bob was probably scared as crap because it only worked for him, and Steven and I are just laughing our asses off.\n\nMe and my friends calmed down and we all started trying it for ourselves. Steven, Tong and I tried it and I blew it to 'No' all 3 times. Then Bob tried it again and i blew it to 'Yes'. \n\nMy friends were scared shitless. I would be surprised if Tong comes to school tommorow.\n\n**They believe that if it says 'Yes', you have to hide from the paper for three hours or Charlie will find you (I'm not even joking)\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Scared the living shit out of my friends playing Charlie Charlie pencil game and I will be surprised if they come to school tommorow.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_3823i0 | tifu | TIFU by scaring the shit out of my friends | So this happened just today. We're in highschool and me and my three friends (lets call them Bob, Steven and Tong) were eating lunch and chilling. We were making fun of Bob as we usually do and then Tong brings up the topic of the Charlie, Charlie pencil game (if you don't know what it is then go on youtube). We all tried it except for Bob and the pencil didn't move. So we all persuaded Bob to join in and I had this amazing thought. What if I just scared the shit out of my friends.
Now, Tong and Bob were paranoid from this game for some weird reason and get scared easily. So when Bob said Charlie, Charlie come play with me, I decided to quietly blow the pencil to 'Yes'. Tong started screaming and ran so fast around the corner. Bob was probably scared as crap because it only worked for him, and Steven and I are just laughing our asses off.
Me and my friends calmed down and we all started trying it for ourselves. Steven, Tong and I tried it and I blew it to 'No' all 3 times. Then Bob tried it again and i blew it to 'Yes'.
My friends were scared shitless. I would be surprised if Tong comes to school tommorow.
**They believe that if it says 'Yes', you have to hide from the paper for three hours or Charlie will find you (I'm not even joking) | Scared the living shit out of my friends playing Charlie Charlie pencil game and I will be surprised if they come to school tommorow. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [28 M] suspect my Wife [29 F] of 2 years may be cheating. Need advice.
POST: My wife and I have been growing apart lately (lack of intimacy for about 3 months) and I've noticed a couple strange things that I want some unbiased opinions on.
She goes to the gym 5 days a week for a couple hours. One day recently when she was leaving she said goodbye and then I heard her phone start giving her GPS directions. Why would she need directions to the gym she's been going to for a year? Is it reasonable to believe she had accidentally hit 'go' to somewhere else she was looking up earlier?
The other day in the car I saw an obvious text conversation open and asked (in a friendly way, not accusatory) who she was talking to. She quickly moved her phone and said she was browsing amazon. Multiple other times I've seen her quickly hide her phone or laptop as I've looked over. I've gotten a clear look a couple of times and it was absolutely a text message program.
Mistrust is probably the quickest killer of a relationship and I haven't acted on any of this. I understand the severity of me even suspecting this. All of these could be innocent coincidences but together they've got me concerned.
How I see it I've got a couple of options:
A) Do nothing and let this either go away or eventually explode.
B) Ask her about it directly. I've asked her about the texts in the moment and she's lied, so I'm not sure if this would work.
C) Try getting access to her phone and see if there are any incriminating texts. This one would be risky and would absolutely damage our marriage if she found out. I really, really don't want to fuck this marriage up because of my paranoia.
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: I [28 M] suspect my Wife [29 F] of 2 years may be cheating. Need advice.\n\nPOST: My wife and I have been growing apart lately (lack of intimacy for about 3 months) and I've noticed a couple strange things that I want some unbiased opinions on.\n\n She goes to the gym 5 days a week for a couple hours. One day recently when she was leaving she said goodbye and then I heard her phone start giving her GPS directions. Why would she need directions to the gym she's been going to for a year? Is it reasonable to believe she had accidentally hit 'go' to somewhere else she was looking up earlier?\n\nThe other day in the car I saw an obvious text conversation open and asked (in a friendly way, not accusatory) who she was talking to. She quickly moved her phone and said she was browsing amazon. Multiple other times I've seen her quickly hide her phone or laptop as I've looked over. I've gotten a clear look a couple of times and it was absolutely a text message program. \n\nMistrust is probably the quickest killer of a relationship and I haven't acted on any of this. I understand the severity of me even suspecting this. All of these could be innocent coincidences but together they've got me concerned.\n\nHow I see it I've got a couple of options:\n\nA) Do nothing and let this either go away or eventually explode.\n\nB) Ask her about it directly. I've asked her about the texts in the moment and she's lied, so I'm not sure if this would work.\n\nC) Try getting access to her phone and see if there are any incriminating texts. This one would be risky and would absolutely damage our marriage if she found out. I really, really don't want to fuck this marriage up because of my paranoia.\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I suspect my wife may be unfaithful but have 0 proof. I genuinely appreciate any help or advice. Thanks.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_4tkukx | relationships | I [28 M] suspect my Wife [29 F] of 2 years may be cheating. Need advice. | My wife and I have been growing apart lately (lack of intimacy for about 3 months) and I've noticed a couple strange things that I want some unbiased opinions on.
She goes to the gym 5 days a week for a couple hours. One day recently when she was leaving she said goodbye and then I heard her phone start giving her GPS directions. Why would she need directions to the gym she's been going to for a year? Is it reasonable to believe she had accidentally hit 'go' to somewhere else she was looking up earlier?
The other day in the car I saw an obvious text conversation open and asked (in a friendly way, not accusatory) who she was talking to. She quickly moved her phone and said she was browsing amazon. Multiple other times I've seen her quickly hide her phone or laptop as I've looked over. I've gotten a clear look a couple of times and it was absolutely a text message program.
Mistrust is probably the quickest killer of a relationship and I haven't acted on any of this. I understand the severity of me even suspecting this. All of these could be innocent coincidences but together they've got me concerned.
How I see it I've got a couple of options:
A) Do nothing and let this either go away or eventually explode.
B) Ask her about it directly. I've asked her about the texts in the moment and she's lied, so I'm not sure if this would work.
C) Try getting access to her phone and see if there are any incriminating texts. This one would be risky and would absolutely damage our marriage if she found out. I really, really don't want to fuck this marriage up because of my paranoia. | I suspect my wife may be unfaithful but have 0 proof. I genuinely appreciate any help or advice. Thanks. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23M] GF [22F] is a bit too active on my Instagram for my comfort level.
POST: We've been together a few months now and things are going swell. We're some 150 miles apart (she works, I'm in grad school). We see each other every or every other weekend depending on how busy we are and it's good so far.
One small hiccup: our presence on social media. By nature I'm a pretty private person and keep a small group of friends. I only share relevant stuff with my close friends and I am not prone to advertise my life, I think its a bit frivolous. Yes I have a Facebook, Twitter, and IG but I use that to keep a tab on what's going on in the world but just so I'm aware and in the loop.
She's a bit of the opposite.
We've recently become followers of each other on Instagram (IG is shorter for my convenience) and we both have browsed through each other's IG's to look at old pics as I'm sure everyone does. Little comments here and there, the usual.
BUT this is where my problem begins. I have some family/friends on IG but as I said, not everyone I care to advertise my relationship(s) to in general because it's called a personal life. Some of her comments are pretty G/PG but quite a number are saucy and flirtatious (PG13/R). I'd rather she not post such things on my IG but I don' t know how to tell her without sounding like an asshole. I've begun to field questions from people I don't care enough to share about my personal life and it's kinda annoying to be honest.
What's the best way to tread this delicately but not come across as an asshole?
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: My [23M] GF [22F] is a bit too active on my Instagram for my comfort level.\n\nPOST: We've been together a few months now and things are going swell. We're some 150 miles apart (she works, I'm in grad school). We see each other every or every other weekend depending on how busy we are and it's good so far.\n\nOne small hiccup: our presence on social media. By nature I'm a pretty private person and keep a small group of friends. I only share relevant stuff with my close friends and I am not prone to advertise my life, I think its a bit frivolous. Yes I have a Facebook, Twitter, and IG but I use that to keep a tab on what's going on in the world but just so I'm aware and in the loop. \n\nShe's a bit of the opposite.\n\nWe've recently become followers of each other on Instagram (IG is shorter for my convenience) and we both have browsed through each other's IG's to look at old pics as I'm sure everyone does. Little comments here and there, the usual.\n\nBUT this is where my problem begins. I have some family/friends on IG but as I said, not everyone I care to advertise my relationship(s) to in general because it's called a personal life. Some of her comments are pretty G/PG but quite a number are saucy and flirtatious (PG13/R). I'd rather she not post such things on my IG but I don' t know how to tell her without sounding like an asshole. I've begun to field questions from people I don't care enough to share about my personal life and it's kinda annoying to be honest.\n\nWhat's the best way to tread this delicately but not come across as an asshole?\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "GF's comments on IG are a bit too much for my personal comfort. How do I tell her to be mindful?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_2i1pb6 | relationships | My [23M] GF [22F] is a bit too active on my Instagram for my comfort level. | We've been together a few months now and things are going swell. We're some 150 miles apart (she works, I'm in grad school). We see each other every or every other weekend depending on how busy we are and it's good so far.
One small hiccup: our presence on social media. By nature I'm a pretty private person and keep a small group of friends. I only share relevant stuff with my close friends and I am not prone to advertise my life, I think its a bit frivolous. Yes I have a Facebook, Twitter, and IG but I use that to keep a tab on what's going on in the world but just so I'm aware and in the loop.
She's a bit of the opposite.
We've recently become followers of each other on Instagram (IG is shorter for my convenience) and we both have browsed through each other's IG's to look at old pics as I'm sure everyone does. Little comments here and there, the usual.
BUT this is where my problem begins. I have some family/friends on IG but as I said, not everyone I care to advertise my relationship(s) to in general because it's called a personal life. Some of her comments are pretty G/PG but quite a number are saucy and flirtatious (PG13/R). I'd rather she not post such things on my IG but I don' t know how to tell her without sounding like an asshole. I've begun to field questions from people I don't care enough to share about my personal life and it's kinda annoying to be honest.
What's the best way to tread this delicately but not come across as an asshole? | GF's comments on IG are a bit too much for my personal comfort. How do I tell her to be mindful? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (27/F) am obnoxiously paranoid after a gynecological health scare. How do I explain my ridiculous hormonal-ness to my boyfriend (32/M)? (X-posted to /r/AskWomen)
POST: Last month, I started getting really hormonal and feeling downright crazy (becoming paranoid about my awesome boyfriend for absolutely no reason, crying at the drop of a hat, and all of that jazz.). Right around that time, my gyno told me that I was due to have my IUD removed. Oh, okay! That's why I was a hormonal wreck! Bada bing, bada boom, I'll get it replaced and everything will be back to normal.
When I got to his office for what was meant to be a routine appointment, he found a large mass in one of my ovaries--and told me that I needed to have a hysteroscopy to get my IUD removed. He scheduled the hysteroscopy and the aspiration of the mass for the next day. I was horrified and scared shitless. My boyfriend was very supportive, stayed up late rubbing my neck the night before the procedure, came with me to the doctor, took me out for more meals than I can count so that I didn't have to cook, etc.
It's been a week since the procedures and, frankly, I don't really feel any less scared, anxious, or paranoid. Now I feel like there's something I'm always going to have to worry about. From what I understand based on talking to other women, this is a feeling that will eventually go away. But how do I explain myself to my partner and let him know that I'm aware that I'm being crazy right now without sounding like I'm trying to make excuses for being a completely and totally irrational asshole?
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: I (27/F) am obnoxiously paranoid after a gynecological health scare. How do I explain my ridiculous hormonal-ness to my boyfriend (32/M)? (X-posted to /r/AskWomen)\n\nPOST: Last month, I started getting really hormonal and feeling downright crazy (becoming paranoid about my awesome boyfriend for absolutely no reason, crying at the drop of a hat, and all of that jazz.). Right around that time, my gyno told me that I was due to have my IUD removed. Oh, okay! That's why I was a hormonal wreck! Bada bing, bada boom, I'll get it replaced and everything will be back to normal.\n\nWhen I got to his office for what was meant to be a routine appointment, he found a large mass in one of my ovaries--and told me that I needed to have a hysteroscopy to get my IUD removed. He scheduled the hysteroscopy and the aspiration of the mass for the next day. I was horrified and scared shitless. My boyfriend was very supportive, stayed up late rubbing my neck the night before the procedure, came with me to the doctor, took me out for more meals than I can count so that I didn't have to cook, etc.\n\nIt's been a week since the procedures and, frankly, I don't really feel any less scared, anxious, or paranoid. Now I feel like there's something I'm always going to have to worry about. From what I understand based on talking to other women, this is a feeling that will eventually go away. But how do I explain myself to my partner and let him know that I'm aware that I'm being crazy right now without sounding like I'm trying to make excuses for being a completely and totally irrational asshole?\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a big-ass ovarian cyst; scared that I'm irreparably broken; hormonal shitstorm ensues; worried I'm going to alienate my boyfriend with my behavior.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_3mcrjk | relationships | I (27/F) am obnoxiously paranoid after a gynecological health scare. How do I explain my ridiculous hormonal-ness to my boyfriend (32/M)? (X-posted to /r/AskWomen) | Last month, I started getting really hormonal and feeling downright crazy (becoming paranoid about my awesome boyfriend for absolutely no reason, crying at the drop of a hat, and all of that jazz.). Right around that time, my gyno told me that I was due to have my IUD removed. Oh, okay! That's why I was a hormonal wreck! Bada bing, bada boom, I'll get it replaced and everything will be back to normal.
When I got to his office for what was meant to be a routine appointment, he found a large mass in one of my ovaries--and told me that I needed to have a hysteroscopy to get my IUD removed. He scheduled the hysteroscopy and the aspiration of the mass for the next day. I was horrified and scared shitless. My boyfriend was very supportive, stayed up late rubbing my neck the night before the procedure, came with me to the doctor, took me out for more meals than I can count so that I didn't have to cook, etc.
It's been a week since the procedures and, frankly, I don't really feel any less scared, anxious, or paranoid. Now I feel like there's something I'm always going to have to worry about. From what I understand based on talking to other women, this is a feeling that will eventually go away. But how do I explain myself to my partner and let him know that I'm aware that I'm being crazy right now without sounding like I'm trying to make excuses for being a completely and totally irrational asshole? | Had a big-ass ovarian cyst; scared that I'm irreparably broken; hormonal shitstorm ensues; worried I'm going to alienate my boyfriend with my behavior. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[20F] and ex[24M] he got married, had a baby, but still wont leave me alone. Should I tell his wife?
POST: I was gonna use a throwaway but fuck it. About 15 months ago I started talking to a guy and we went on ONE date. The whole "relationship" lasted only 1 month. Well , he would only talk to me in "baby talk" about everything. He would speak to me like I was an actual infant. I hated that and told him to stop like 1,000 times but he never did so I broke it off. Next day he showed up to my college crying, and he proposed to me. Yes, you heard that right. He proposed after barely a month... After I dumped him. Obviously I said no and moved on with my life , blocking him on all social medias. So he starts dating some girl and shes pregnant within a month. Well here we r now. He has found my new number and keeps begging me to meet to have sex with him. He even confesses he married that girl with the ring he proposed to me with.
So reddit should I tell his wife all this? He has a little baby and I'd feel horrible if I some how made a kid lose time with her dad. But at the same time Id want to know if my husband did that to me
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: Me[20F] and ex[24M] he got married, had a baby, but still wont leave me alone. Should I tell his wife?\n\nPOST: I was gonna use a throwaway but fuck it. About 15 months ago I started talking to a guy and we went on ONE date. The whole \"relationship\" lasted only 1 month. Well , he would only talk to me in \"baby talk\" about everything. He would speak to me like I was an actual infant. I hated that and told him to stop like 1,000 times but he never did so I broke it off. Next day he showed up to my college crying, and he proposed to me. Yes, you heard that right. He proposed after barely a month... After I dumped him. Obviously I said no and moved on with my life , blocking him on all social medias. So he starts dating some girl and shes pregnant within a month. Well here we r now. He has found my new number and keeps begging me to meet to have sex with him. He even confesses he married that girl with the ring he proposed to me with. \n\nSo reddit should I tell his wife all this? He has a little baby and I'd feel horrible if I some how made a kid lose time with her dad. But at the same time Id want to know if my husband did that to me\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "ex got married, proposed to girl with used ring. Still won't leave me alone. Do I tell his wife??",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_30b633 | relationships | Me[20F] and ex[24M] he got married, had a baby, but still wont leave me alone. Should I tell his wife? | I was gonna use a throwaway but fuck it. About 15 months ago I started talking to a guy and we went on ONE date. The whole "relationship" lasted only 1 month. Well , he would only talk to me in "baby talk" about everything. He would speak to me like I was an actual infant. I hated that and told him to stop like 1,000 times but he never did so I broke it off. Next day he showed up to my college crying, and he proposed to me. Yes, you heard that right. He proposed after barely a month... After I dumped him. Obviously I said no and moved on with my life , blocking him on all social medias. So he starts dating some girl and shes pregnant within a month. Well here we r now. He has found my new number and keeps begging me to meet to have sex with him. He even confesses he married that girl with the ring he proposed to me with.
So reddit should I tell his wife all this? He has a little baby and I'd feel horrible if I some how made a kid lose time with her dad. But at the same time Id want to know if my husband did that to me | ex got married, proposed to girl with used ring. Still won't leave me alone. Do I tell his wife?? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I'm worried.
POST: I'm incredibly worried about my younger cousins; I have been for some time, but tonight it's different. Today their father killed himself. Their parents have been separated for some time, and my cousins have been living with their mom and grandma out in the country for a while. I'm not even sure if they know yet.
I suppose what scares me most is the oldest of my two cousins has fairly serious mental health issues. He was diagnosed with depression and ADHD, and has been taking all kinds of medications to treat these diseases for 3/12 years of his life.
The younger of the pair also frightens me. She is intensely emotional, and struggles with expressing them.
It's a long story I suppose.
If anyone has some good advice or experience, I'd love to hear it. I'm wondering if there's even anything I can do.
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest\n\nTITLE: I'm worried.\n\nPOST: I'm incredibly worried about my younger cousins; I have been for some time, but tonight it's different. Today their father killed himself. Their parents have been separated for some time, and my cousins have been living with their mom and grandma out in the country for a while. I'm not even sure if they know yet. \n\nI suppose what scares me most is the oldest of my two cousins has fairly serious mental health issues. He was diagnosed with depression and ADHD, and has been taking all kinds of medications to treat these diseases for 3/12 years of his life. \n\nThe younger of the pair also frightens me. She is intensely emotional, and struggles with expressing them. \nIt's a long story I suppose.\n\nIf anyone has some good advice or experience, I'd love to hear it. I'm wondering if there's even anything I can do.\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "My uncle killed himself today, leaving behind his ex-wife and two children who struggle with depression and coping with their parents divorce. I need help.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_38momy | offmychest | I'm worried. | I'm incredibly worried about my younger cousins; I have been for some time, but tonight it's different. Today their father killed himself. Their parents have been separated for some time, and my cousins have been living with their mom and grandma out in the country for a while. I'm not even sure if they know yet.
I suppose what scares me most is the oldest of my two cousins has fairly serious mental health issues. He was diagnosed with depression and ADHD, and has been taking all kinds of medications to treat these diseases for 3/12 years of his life.
The younger of the pair also frightens me. She is intensely emotional, and struggles with expressing them.
It's a long story I suppose.
If anyone has some good advice or experience, I'd love to hear it. I'm wondering if there's even anything I can do. | My uncle killed himself today, leaving behind his ex-wife and two children who struggle with depression and coping with their parents divorce. I need help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What are some good motorcycles for a beginner?
POST: Hey guys,
I'm in the process of getting my M1 - just passed the safety course and waiting for my paperwork to take the written test at the DMV.
That being said, I'm pumped up to buy my first bike and start endangering you all on the road. Which leads me to the pickle I'm in - I don't really know very much about motorcycles and what would be a good first bike. I've done the standard Google searches on "best first bike" and I learned on a 2008 Honda Nighthawk, so I suppose I'm leaning that direction.
What I do know is this, I want either a standard or cruiser-type bike around 250cc (maybe a little higher). I'm not looking for a sport-bike or something that's going to race, I just want to get from Point A to Point B without breaking my neck, but also looking kinda cool (i.e. NOT A SCOOTER). I've got about $2,000 to spend on the bike since there's a good chance I'll screw it up during the learning process. Any ideas or bikes you want to sell me?
Thanks!
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit\n\nTITLE: What are some good motorcycles for a beginner?\n\nPOST: Hey guys,\n\nI'm in the process of getting my M1 - just passed the safety course and waiting for my paperwork to take the written test at the DMV.\n\nThat being said, I'm pumped up to buy my first bike and start endangering you all on the road. Which leads me to the pickle I'm in - I don't really know very much about motorcycles and what would be a good first bike. I've done the standard Google searches on \"best first bike\" and I learned on a 2008 Honda Nighthawk, so I suppose I'm leaning that direction.\n\nWhat I do know is this, I want either a standard or cruiser-type bike around 250cc (maybe a little higher). I'm not looking for a sport-bike or something that's going to race, I just want to get from Point A to Point B without breaking my neck, but also looking kinda cool (i.e. NOT A SCOOTER). I've got about $2,000 to spend on the bike since there's a good chance I'll screw it up during the learning process. Any ideas or bikes you want to sell me?\n\nThanks!\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "new biker in SF bay-area needs advice on what kinds of standard/cruiser motorcycles are good for around-the-town driving",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_cp6ig | AskReddit | What are some good motorcycles for a beginner? | Hey guys,
I'm in the process of getting my M1 - just passed the safety course and waiting for my paperwork to take the written test at the DMV.
That being said, I'm pumped up to buy my first bike and start endangering you all on the road. Which leads me to the pickle I'm in - I don't really know very much about motorcycles and what would be a good first bike. I've done the standard Google searches on "best first bike" and I learned on a 2008 Honda Nighthawk, so I suppose I'm leaning that direction.
What I do know is this, I want either a standard or cruiser-type bike around 250cc (maybe a little higher). I'm not looking for a sport-bike or something that's going to race, I just want to get from Point A to Point B without breaking my neck, but also looking kinda cool (i.e. NOT A SCOOTER). I've got about $2,000 to spend on the bike since there's a good chance I'll screw it up during the learning process. Any ideas or bikes you want to sell me?
Thanks! | new biker in SF bay-area needs advice on what kinds of standard/cruiser motorcycles are good for around-the-town driving |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [ 20/F] with my bf [ 20/M] of 3 years. I've found myself attracted to someone else. Need advice on how to overcome.
POST: So I have been in what I consider a serious relationship for a few years now. Like any relationship we've had our ups and downs, but things have been great these past few months. I recently started a new job, and don't get to see my bf as often as I would like to anymore. And on top of that I've found myself attracted to my supervisor, and to be honest; it scares me. I know that nothing will happen, and I'm pretty much 100% certain that it is one sided, but the fact that I feel this way bothers me and makes me feel incredibly guilty. I know if I found out that my boyfriend had these feelings for another woman I would be crushed. I've had crushes before, but this seems very different, in reality, he and I barely talk so the feeling is mostly physical. And as much as I try I find myself thinking about him a lot; more than I feel I should. I find that I have this urge to talk to him more and get to know him, but I haven't. On one hand I think that maybe once I know him a little more the feeling will go away (you know, realize they have gross habits or something like that) but on the other hand if it doesn't I've made things a lot worse. But even so, I find myself imagining scenarios and situations where we're together.
And I know my usual advise for someone in this situation would be to cut out the distraction entirely, but since we work together I can't. I usually tell my boyfriend everything, but this I don't want to, I don't want to hurt him, and in addition I'm afraid of building it up into something more than it is. But when I'm upset with my boyfriend or feel like he's ignoring me I find myself thinking about this other man. And I feel awful for doing so. Sorry about all the text, I guess my question is: have you ever been in a situation like this before? And how did you overcome it?
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: Me [ 20/F] with my bf [ 20/M] of 3 years. I've found myself attracted to someone else. Need advice on how to overcome.\n\nPOST: So I have been in what I consider a serious relationship for a few years now. Like any relationship we've had our ups and downs, but things have been great these past few months. I recently started a new job, and don't get to see my bf as often as I would like to anymore. And on top of that I've found myself attracted to my supervisor, and to be honest; it scares me. I know that nothing will happen, and I'm pretty much 100% certain that it is one sided, but the fact that I feel this way bothers me and makes me feel incredibly guilty. I know if I found out that my boyfriend had these feelings for another woman I would be crushed. I've had crushes before, but this seems very different, in reality, he and I barely talk so the feeling is mostly physical. And as much as I try I find myself thinking about him a lot; more than I feel I should. I find that I have this urge to talk to him more and get to know him, but I haven't. On one hand I think that maybe once I know him a little more the feeling will go away (you know, realize they have gross habits or something like that) but on the other hand if it doesn't I've made things a lot worse. But even so, I find myself imagining scenarios and situations where we're together. \n\nAnd I know my usual advise for someone in this situation would be to cut out the distraction entirely, but since we work together I can't. I usually tell my boyfriend everything, but this I don't want to, I don't want to hurt him, and in addition I'm afraid of building it up into something more than it is. But when I'm upset with my boyfriend or feel like he's ignoring me I find myself thinking about this other man. And I feel awful for doing so. Sorry about all the text, I guess my question is: have you ever been in a situation like this before? And how did you overcome it?\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I've found myself attracted to a man who is not my boyfriend. I can't quit my job, so how can I overcome these feelings?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_29gdvm | relationships | Me [ 20/F] with my bf [ 20/M] of 3 years. I've found myself attracted to someone else. Need advice on how to overcome. | So I have been in what I consider a serious relationship for a few years now. Like any relationship we've had our ups and downs, but things have been great these past few months. I recently started a new job, and don't get to see my bf as often as I would like to anymore. And on top of that I've found myself attracted to my supervisor, and to be honest; it scares me. I know that nothing will happen, and I'm pretty much 100% certain that it is one sided, but the fact that I feel this way bothers me and makes me feel incredibly guilty. I know if I found out that my boyfriend had these feelings for another woman I would be crushed. I've had crushes before, but this seems very different, in reality, he and I barely talk so the feeling is mostly physical. And as much as I try I find myself thinking about him a lot; more than I feel I should. I find that I have this urge to talk to him more and get to know him, but I haven't. On one hand I think that maybe once I know him a little more the feeling will go away (you know, realize they have gross habits or something like that) but on the other hand if it doesn't I've made things a lot worse. But even so, I find myself imagining scenarios and situations where we're together.
And I know my usual advise for someone in this situation would be to cut out the distraction entirely, but since we work together I can't. I usually tell my boyfriend everything, but this I don't want to, I don't want to hurt him, and in addition I'm afraid of building it up into something more than it is. But when I'm upset with my boyfriend or feel like he's ignoring me I find myself thinking about this other man. And I feel awful for doing so. Sorry about all the text, I guess my question is: have you ever been in a situation like this before? And how did you overcome it? | I've found myself attracted to a man who is not my boyfriend. I can't quit my job, so how can I overcome these feelings? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with my Girlfriend [16 F] (4 months) - I'm constantly paranoid i'm screwing up my relationship and it's having bad effects on me
POST: Let me preface this by saying I love my girlfriend very much, and most of this is probably my fault.
Alot of time whenever I'm talking to/skyping/etc with my girlfriend i'm worrying that i did something wrong and that she is weirded out or mad at me and just isn't telling me. It doesn't help that this is a long distance relationship so we rarely get to see each other in person (like every 2 months at best).
This is likely entirely my fault, although it could be caused by what happened in a previous (semi-)relationship that I was in where the girl lied to me extensively and now I feel insecure and unable to trust any reaction my girlfriend has, even though I do love her with all of my heart.
This is having an effect on me as a person.. (I am finding it harder to focus, i'm often apparently more outwardly sad to people while i'm worrying about this stuff, etc. I don't know what to do at this point but I don't want to break up with my girlfriend because I know it's an issue with me and not her. What should I do?
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: Me [18 M] with my Girlfriend [16 F] (4 months) - I'm constantly paranoid i'm screwing up my relationship and it's having bad effects on me\n\nPOST: Let me preface this by saying I love my girlfriend very much, and most of this is probably my fault.\n\nAlot of time whenever I'm talking to/skyping/etc with my girlfriend i'm worrying that i did something wrong and that she is weirded out or mad at me and just isn't telling me. It doesn't help that this is a long distance relationship so we rarely get to see each other in person (like every 2 months at best). \n\nThis is likely entirely my fault, although it could be caused by what happened in a previous (semi-)relationship that I was in where the girl lied to me extensively and now I feel insecure and unable to trust any reaction my girlfriend has, even though I do love her with all of my heart.\n\nThis is having an effect on me as a person.. (I am finding it harder to focus, i'm often apparently more outwardly sad to people while i'm worrying about this stuff, etc. I don't know what to do at this point but I don't want to break up with my girlfriend because I know it's an issue with me and not her. What should I do?\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I constantly worry that I've done something to weird out or upset my girlfriend and can't help it - it's having detrimental affects on me as a person..",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_3kbx9e | relationships | Me [18 M] with my Girlfriend [16 F] (4 months) - I'm constantly paranoid i'm screwing up my relationship and it's having bad effects on me | Let me preface this by saying I love my girlfriend very much, and most of this is probably my fault.
Alot of time whenever I'm talking to/skyping/etc with my girlfriend i'm worrying that i did something wrong and that she is weirded out or mad at me and just isn't telling me. It doesn't help that this is a long distance relationship so we rarely get to see each other in person (like every 2 months at best).
This is likely entirely my fault, although it could be caused by what happened in a previous (semi-)relationship that I was in where the girl lied to me extensively and now I feel insecure and unable to trust any reaction my girlfriend has, even though I do love her with all of my heart.
This is having an effect on me as a person.. (I am finding it harder to focus, i'm often apparently more outwardly sad to people while i'm worrying about this stuff, etc. I don't know what to do at this point but I don't want to break up with my girlfriend because I know it's an issue with me and not her. What should I do? | I constantly worry that I've done something to weird out or upset my girlfriend and can't help it - it's having detrimental affects on me as a person.. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F], my SO [24 M] of a year, I want to break up but I have no place to go.
POST: So I have been dating my boyfriend over a year. Let's call him Austin. I moved in with Austin's family because my parents out of state and I decided to take some time off from the college where we met. I worked through a terrible depression which has been persistent for the past few years. I isolated myself so now I am friendless, jobless and have no transportation. I am trying to put my life back together and after long reflection, I have realized Austin and I are two very different people. There is a general lack of communication and respect for the other person. So here is my dilemma: Do I break up with Austin?
I am a very open, honest person. It feels deceitful not to inform him of the decision I have made about our relationship,but I feel a little justified considering how inattentive and neglectful he can be. I want to tell him but he will be unsympathetic and he owes me nothing. Austin would not let me stay here until I have my life together. I have an older sister across the country but we have not talked in years. The whole reason she moved away is to get away from our crazy family.
My older brother (let's call him Steve) seems to think I should move back in with our alcoholic/codependent parents where he currently lives. Steve is much better at dealing with their bullshit and I don't feel like it's the right environment to figure out my future. They are the source of my depression. I would however like to be close Steve. Having counseling resources available is another good reason to move back, though transportation is an another issue.
It would be great relieve for both Austin and myself to unburden ourselves with this dead relationship and move on. But I also took a vow never to subject myself to my parents abuse again. I am open to any other ideas/suggestions/solutions.
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: Me [23 F], my SO [24 M] of a year, I want to break up but I have no place to go.\n\nPOST: So I have been dating my boyfriend over a year. Let's call him Austin. I moved in with Austin's family because my parents out of state and I decided to take some time off from the college where we met. I worked through a terrible depression which has been persistent for the past few years. I isolated myself so now I am friendless, jobless and have no transportation. I am trying to put my life back together and after long reflection, I have realized Austin and I are two very different people. There is a general lack of communication and respect for the other person. So here is my dilemma: Do I break up with Austin?\n\n I am a very open, honest person. It feels deceitful not to inform him of the decision I have made about our relationship,but I feel a little justified considering how inattentive and neglectful he can be. I want to tell him but he will be unsympathetic and he owes me nothing. Austin would not let me stay here until I have my life together. I have an older sister across the country but we have not talked in years. The whole reason she moved away is to get away from our crazy family. \n\nMy older brother (let's call him Steve) seems to think I should move back in with our alcoholic/codependent parents where he currently lives. Steve is much better at dealing with their bullshit and I don't feel like it's the right environment to figure out my future. They are the source of my depression. I would however like to be close Steve. Having counseling resources available is another good reason to move back, though transportation is an another issue.\n\n It would be great relieve for both Austin and myself to unburden ourselves with this dead relationship and move on. But I also took a vow never to subject myself to my parents abuse again. I am open to any other ideas/suggestions/solutions.\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "If I break up with my boyfriend I will be homeless. Should I pretend like everything is okay until I can leave?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_2jceac | relationships | Me [23 F], my SO [24 M] of a year, I want to break up but I have no place to go. | So I have been dating my boyfriend over a year. Let's call him Austin. I moved in with Austin's family because my parents out of state and I decided to take some time off from the college where we met. I worked through a terrible depression which has been persistent for the past few years. I isolated myself so now I am friendless, jobless and have no transportation. I am trying to put my life back together and after long reflection, I have realized Austin and I are two very different people. There is a general lack of communication and respect for the other person. So here is my dilemma: Do I break up with Austin?
I am a very open, honest person. It feels deceitful not to inform him of the decision I have made about our relationship,but I feel a little justified considering how inattentive and neglectful he can be. I want to tell him but he will be unsympathetic and he owes me nothing. Austin would not let me stay here until I have my life together. I have an older sister across the country but we have not talked in years. The whole reason she moved away is to get away from our crazy family.
My older brother (let's call him Steve) seems to think I should move back in with our alcoholic/codependent parents where he currently lives. Steve is much better at dealing with their bullshit and I don't feel like it's the right environment to figure out my future. They are the source of my depression. I would however like to be close Steve. Having counseling resources available is another good reason to move back, though transportation is an another issue.
It would be great relieve for both Austin and myself to unburden ourselves with this dead relationship and move on. But I also took a vow never to subject myself to my parents abuse again. I am open to any other ideas/suggestions/solutions. | If I break up with my boyfriend I will be homeless. Should I pretend like everything is okay until I can leave? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (f/22) have to figure out if I want to still know these girls or not and would hate to sound insulting
POST: Not sure if this belongs here but it's worth a try.
Backstory:
When I (f/22) went through my first real breakup 2 years ago because he needed space after a year of dating roand it effected me more than I thought. It was a horrible time in my life due to living with my mother and finally having the chance to cut her out of my life. I can admit because of it was an emotional wreck and this guy was stable and didn't know how to deal with me. We ended by him avoiding for a month or so after going to a festival with my friends. When I think back I wish he just ended. So after he ended it added my depression I suffered but my friends helped me through it and I got rid of everything from him along with cutting contact.
Now: Its been almost 3 years now and I've gotten better after counselling and mild anti depressants. My mother has been out of my life since then so there's been alot of progress. Being stronger after learning some lessons there been more insight about that time of my life but when I see him or a picture everything comes back. The emotions and memories bring me back down.
His friends (both girls) are on my facebook because we get along well which is hard to find and I know they'll always have his back. But seeing him in a picture or talking to him at a convention having a conversation is tough. Crying confront of my current boyfriend is something I want to avoid.
So I've been thinking that I have to cut contact with these girls because it's time to move on because it's healthier. It's best to avoid him as well. But will they be insulted? Will they accept it? Is there going to be awkwardness? I'm not sure if it's the right to do and could use some outside opinions.
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: I (f/22) have to figure out if I want to still know these girls or not and would hate to sound insulting\n\nPOST: Not sure if this belongs here but it's worth a try. \n\nBackstory:\nWhen I (f/22) went through my first real breakup 2 years ago because he needed space after a year of dating roand it effected me more than I thought. It was a horrible time in my life due to living with my mother and finally having the chance to cut her out of my life. I can admit because of it was an emotional wreck and this guy was stable and didn't know how to deal with me. We ended by him avoiding for a month or so after going to a festival with my friends. When I think back I wish he just ended. So after he ended it added my depression I suffered but my friends helped me through it and I got rid of everything from him along with cutting contact. \n\nNow: Its been almost 3 years now and I've gotten better after counselling and mild anti depressants. My mother has been out of my life since then so there's been alot of progress. Being stronger after learning some lessons there been more insight about that time of my life but when I see him or a picture everything comes back. The emotions and memories bring me back down. \n\nHis friends (both girls) are on my facebook because we get along well which is hard to find and I know they'll always have his back. But seeing him in a picture or talking to him at a convention having a conversation is tough. Crying confront of my current boyfriend is something I want to avoid. \n\nSo I've been thinking that I have to cut contact with these girls because it's time to move on because it's healthier. It's best to avoid him as well. But will they be insulted? Will they accept it? Is there going to be awkwardness? I'm not sure if it's the right to do and could use some outside opinions.\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I still have contact with an old ex's friends but can't stand to see or talk to him. His friends are really nice ,so how do I tell them I possibly want to unfriend them on Facebook because of him?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_1hxu8s | relationships | I (f/22) have to figure out if I want to still know these girls or not and would hate to sound insulting | Not sure if this belongs here but it's worth a try.
Backstory:
When I (f/22) went through my first real breakup 2 years ago because he needed space after a year of dating roand it effected me more than I thought. It was a horrible time in my life due to living with my mother and finally having the chance to cut her out of my life. I can admit because of it was an emotional wreck and this guy was stable and didn't know how to deal with me. We ended by him avoiding for a month or so after going to a festival with my friends. When I think back I wish he just ended. So after he ended it added my depression I suffered but my friends helped me through it and I got rid of everything from him along with cutting contact.
Now: Its been almost 3 years now and I've gotten better after counselling and mild anti depressants. My mother has been out of my life since then so there's been alot of progress. Being stronger after learning some lessons there been more insight about that time of my life but when I see him or a picture everything comes back. The emotions and memories bring me back down.
His friends (both girls) are on my facebook because we get along well which is hard to find and I know they'll always have his back. But seeing him in a picture or talking to him at a convention having a conversation is tough. Crying confront of my current boyfriend is something I want to avoid.
So I've been thinking that I have to cut contact with these girls because it's time to move on because it's healthier. It's best to avoid him as well. But will they be insulted? Will they accept it? Is there going to be awkwardness? I'm not sure if it's the right to do and could use some outside opinions. | I still have contact with an old ex's friends but can't stand to see or talk to him. His friends are really nice ,so how do I tell them I possibly want to unfriend them on Facebook because of him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: [HELP] Not sure how to deal with new people/dogs and my big ole pup
POST: I have a three year old Dober/Pit mix named Romulus ("Rome" for short). He's about 105lbs and for the most part a good guy. I live with 3 other dogs: a 10 year old labrador, a 2 year old French Bulldog and a 8 year old maltese mix. The four of them get along just fine, Rome and the Frenchie are best best best best friends.
He isn't the best at meeting new people, but not ALWAYS. Sometimes he gets skittish, circles with his tail between his legs. Other times he happily brings the new person a toy and wags and is generally adorable. I've found that if I'm around and make a big happy "look at your new friend! Now go find a present! What a good present and what a good dog!" noise he gets happy and excited. We've been having massive construction on our house for the last 7 months and now he's best friends with all of the workers, walks around the yard helping them, and they've learned all of his commands from me (sit, down, wait, paw, other paw, and touch- a favorite).
Dogs are a little trickier. I have a big yard and people are always wanting to come over for doggie playdates. I don't know if on-leash is the best way to first introduce, or let the new dog into the yard first and then bring my dog (his name is Rome) in on a leash, or meet in the street or what. There is always a little getting-to-know-you period and then play (if sometimes a little intense). If the new dog stays too long, a fight usually breaks out. He never starts the fight but he always stops it. He's not seriously hurt anyone, yet. But I feel like its just around the corner
Then, the crux of the matter: I want to have a 4th of July party. Several people want to bring their dogs. I doubt I can say "no dogs allowed" and I don't want to let everyone else bring their dog and make mine stay at day care all day.
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/dogs\n\nTITLE: [HELP] Not sure how to deal with new people/dogs and my big ole pup\n\nPOST: I have a three year old Dober/Pit mix named Romulus (\"Rome\" for short). He's about 105lbs and for the most part a good guy. I live with 3 other dogs: a 10 year old labrador, a 2 year old French Bulldog and a 8 year old maltese mix. The four of them get along just fine, Rome and the Frenchie are best best best best friends.\n\n \n\nHe isn't the best at meeting new people, but not ALWAYS. Sometimes he gets skittish, circles with his tail between his legs. Other times he happily brings the new person a toy and wags and is generally adorable. I've found that if I'm around and make a big happy \"look at your new friend! Now go find a present! What a good present and what a good dog!\" noise he gets happy and excited. We've been having massive construction on our house for the last 7 months and now he's best friends with all of the workers, walks around the yard helping them, and they've learned all of his commands from me (sit, down, wait, paw, other paw, and touch- a favorite). \n\n \n\nDogs are a little trickier. I have a big yard and people are always wanting to come over for doggie playdates. I don't know if on-leash is the best way to first introduce, or let the new dog into the yard first and then bring my dog (his name is Rome) in on a leash, or meet in the street or what. There is always a little getting-to-know-you period and then play (if sometimes a little intense). If the new dog stays too long, a fight usually breaks out. He never starts the fight but he always stops it. He's not seriously hurt anyone, yet. But I feel like its just around the corner\n\n \n\nThen, the crux of the matter: I want to have a 4th of July party. Several people want to bring their dogs. I doubt I can say \"no dogs allowed\" and I don't want to let everyone else bring their dog and make mine stay at day care all day.\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "HOW do I introduce new people? HOW do I introduce new dogs? WHAT do I do about 4th of July??",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_4q1ipr | dogs | [HELP] Not sure how to deal with new people/dogs and my big ole pup | I have a three year old Dober/Pit mix named Romulus ("Rome" for short). He's about 105lbs and for the most part a good guy. I live with 3 other dogs: a 10 year old labrador, a 2 year old French Bulldog and a 8 year old maltese mix. The four of them get along just fine, Rome and the Frenchie are best best best best friends.
He isn't the best at meeting new people, but not ALWAYS. Sometimes he gets skittish, circles with his tail between his legs. Other times he happily brings the new person a toy and wags and is generally adorable. I've found that if I'm around and make a big happy "look at your new friend! Now go find a present! What a good present and what a good dog!" noise he gets happy and excited. We've been having massive construction on our house for the last 7 months and now he's best friends with all of the workers, walks around the yard helping them, and they've learned all of his commands from me (sit, down, wait, paw, other paw, and touch- a favorite).
Dogs are a little trickier. I have a big yard and people are always wanting to come over for doggie playdates. I don't know if on-leash is the best way to first introduce, or let the new dog into the yard first and then bring my dog (his name is Rome) in on a leash, or meet in the street or what. There is always a little getting-to-know-you period and then play (if sometimes a little intense). If the new dog stays too long, a fight usually breaks out. He never starts the fight but he always stops it. He's not seriously hurt anyone, yet. But I feel like its just around the corner
Then, the crux of the matter: I want to have a 4th of July party. Several people want to bring their dogs. I doubt I can say "no dogs allowed" and I don't want to let everyone else bring their dog and make mine stay at day care all day. | HOW do I introduce new people? HOW do I introduce new dogs? WHAT do I do about 4th of July?? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Why do I [23f], who has an amazing family and loving friends with a good life, hate myself? And how can I get past it?
POST: So this is me... I have a loving and amazing family. I have many loving friends. I have a great social life. It is easy for me to get the guy I want. I've just recently started talking to a really great guy, who really cares about me and likes me. So everythings cool and gravy and dandy so why do I not like myself so much???
I have wondered if it might be because I have been hurt a lot by guys I've dated/talked to. My dad left me when I was 8. I feel as though every man will leave me. (Trying to convince myself that this current guy wont hurt me, but can't really believe it).
Recently after a very devastating breakup, for months I could feel nothing but hate for myself. What's wrong with me that he would leave and never speak to me again? I'm a good person. What part of me could they have hated so much to just throw me aside like I was nothing? It killed me. To clarify, this is not the reason why I started feeling like I didn't like myself. This feeling has been around for years. It is just after this breakup did I feel at my lowest, most terrible low.
So sometimes when I am alone I will sit and want to cry because I don't like myself. And when I try to figure out why, I hate myself more because I truly can't find a reason. I know I'm not a bad person. I've never done anything to hurt anyone. I enjoy making others happy. I've never told any of my friends or family how I feel because they would have no idea either. They would tell me that I shouldn't feel like that. And I know I shouldn't but I can't help it and it is a terrible feeling. So i thought I would post here to see if anyone could relate/help out?
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: Why do I [23f], who has an amazing family and loving friends with a good life, hate myself? And how can I get past it?\n\nPOST: So this is me... I have a loving and amazing family. I have many loving friends. I have a great social life. It is easy for me to get the guy I want. I've just recently started talking to a really great guy, who really cares about me and likes me. So everythings cool and gravy and dandy so why do I not like myself so much???\n\nI have wondered if it might be because I have been hurt a lot by guys I've dated/talked to. My dad left me when I was 8. I feel as though every man will leave me. (Trying to convince myself that this current guy wont hurt me, but can't really believe it). \n\nRecently after a very devastating breakup, for months I could feel nothing but hate for myself. What's wrong with me that he would leave and never speak to me again? I'm a good person. What part of me could they have hated so much to just throw me aside like I was nothing? It killed me. To clarify, this is not the reason why I started feeling like I didn't like myself. This feeling has been around for years. It is just after this breakup did I feel at my lowest, most terrible low. \n\nSo sometimes when I am alone I will sit and want to cry because I don't like myself. And when I try to figure out why, I hate myself more because I truly can't find a reason. I know I'm not a bad person. I've never done anything to hurt anyone. I enjoy making others happy. I've never told any of my friends or family how I feel because they would have no idea either. They would tell me that I shouldn't feel like that. And I know I shouldn't but I can't help it and it is a terrible feeling. So i thought I would post here to see if anyone could relate/help out?\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Hate myself for no reason, don't know why, and don't know how to get past it. Makes me sad that I can't seem to really love myself",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_1jh4fh | relationships | Why do I [23f], who has an amazing family and loving friends with a good life, hate myself? And how can I get past it? | So this is me... I have a loving and amazing family. I have many loving friends. I have a great social life. It is easy for me to get the guy I want. I've just recently started talking to a really great guy, who really cares about me and likes me. So everythings cool and gravy and dandy so why do I not like myself so much???
I have wondered if it might be because I have been hurt a lot by guys I've dated/talked to. My dad left me when I was 8. I feel as though every man will leave me. (Trying to convince myself that this current guy wont hurt me, but can't really believe it).
Recently after a very devastating breakup, for months I could feel nothing but hate for myself. What's wrong with me that he would leave and never speak to me again? I'm a good person. What part of me could they have hated so much to just throw me aside like I was nothing? It killed me. To clarify, this is not the reason why I started feeling like I didn't like myself. This feeling has been around for years. It is just after this breakup did I feel at my lowest, most terrible low.
So sometimes when I am alone I will sit and want to cry because I don't like myself. And when I try to figure out why, I hate myself more because I truly can't find a reason. I know I'm not a bad person. I've never done anything to hurt anyone. I enjoy making others happy. I've never told any of my friends or family how I feel because they would have no idea either. They would tell me that I shouldn't feel like that. And I know I shouldn't but I can't help it and it is a terrible feeling. So i thought I would post here to see if anyone could relate/help out? | Hate myself for no reason, don't know why, and don't know how to get past it. Makes me sad that I can't seem to really love myself |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [28 F] just confronted my Borderline mother [54 F] about all the things she has done to ruin my life up until now...
POST: I had been advised by my psychologist not to contact her due to the negative effect she was having on my personal life and mental health (I myself have problems with mental illness). But she had been relentlessly trying to contact me after I cut off contact without giving her a reason.
So today I emailed her detailing everything she had done including the emotional neglect and abuse of myself and other family members and of her interfering and trying to end the relationship between myself and my husband on numerous occasions, and of ignoring my mental illness and making me suffer it out for years as a child, plus multiple other things I can go into if requested.
The thing is now I can't help but feel guilty despite everyone patting me on the back and me knowing it was needed for closure. She has conditioned me to feel extreme guilt if I go against her wishes etc.
As many people with Borderline parents know, the parents sometimes don't realise they have a problem despite the diagnosis of a mental illness (she thinks it's everyone else who is crazy, not her). So I know she will deny everything I have told her, yet she will play the victim as usual and somehow it will get back to me and I will again feel terribly guilty.
Anyway I am just wondering if anyone has experience with borderline parents or other relationships and how they coped with the guilt of confronting the person, or how they coped at all with the stress of the situation. I'm in a rush so I'm sorry if I've left heaps out, I'm new to reddit as well so getting used to the layout, but I can add more details if requested.
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: I [28 F] just confronted my Borderline mother [54 F] about all the things she has done to ruin my life up until now...\n\nPOST: I had been advised by my psychologist not to contact her due to the negative effect she was having on my personal life and mental health (I myself have problems with mental illness). But she had been relentlessly trying to contact me after I cut off contact without giving her a reason. \n\nSo today I emailed her detailing everything she had done including the emotional neglect and abuse of myself and other family members and of her interfering and trying to end the relationship between myself and my husband on numerous occasions, and of ignoring my mental illness and making me suffer it out for years as a child, plus multiple other things I can go into if requested.\n\nThe thing is now I can't help but feel guilty despite everyone patting me on the back and me knowing it was needed for closure. She has conditioned me to feel extreme guilt if I go against her wishes etc.\n\nAs many people with Borderline parents know, the parents sometimes don't realise they have a problem despite the diagnosis of a mental illness (she thinks it's everyone else who is crazy, not her). So I know she will deny everything I have told her, yet she will play the victim as usual and somehow it will get back to me and I will again feel terribly guilty.\n\nAnyway I am just wondering if anyone has experience with borderline parents or other relationships and how they coped with the guilt of confronting the person, or how they coped at all with the stress of the situation. I'm in a rush so I'm sorry if I've left heaps out, I'm new to reddit as well so getting used to the layout, but I can add more details if requested.\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Confronted borderline mother, now feel guilty. Would like to hear others' stories of similar confrontations with borderline people.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_4q289h | relationships | I [28 F] just confronted my Borderline mother [54 F] about all the things she has done to ruin my life up until now... | I had been advised by my psychologist not to contact her due to the negative effect she was having on my personal life and mental health (I myself have problems with mental illness). But she had been relentlessly trying to contact me after I cut off contact without giving her a reason.
So today I emailed her detailing everything she had done including the emotional neglect and abuse of myself and other family members and of her interfering and trying to end the relationship between myself and my husband on numerous occasions, and of ignoring my mental illness and making me suffer it out for years as a child, plus multiple other things I can go into if requested.
The thing is now I can't help but feel guilty despite everyone patting me on the back and me knowing it was needed for closure. She has conditioned me to feel extreme guilt if I go against her wishes etc.
As many people with Borderline parents know, the parents sometimes don't realise they have a problem despite the diagnosis of a mental illness (she thinks it's everyone else who is crazy, not her). So I know she will deny everything I have told her, yet she will play the victim as usual and somehow it will get back to me and I will again feel terribly guilty.
Anyway I am just wondering if anyone has experience with borderline parents or other relationships and how they coped with the guilt of confronting the person, or how they coped at all with the stress of the situation. I'm in a rush so I'm sorry if I've left heaps out, I'm new to reddit as well so getting used to the layout, but I can add more details if requested. | Confronted borderline mother, now feel guilty. Would like to hear others' stories of similar confrontations with borderline people. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25 F] think that the guy I've been seeing for a couple months [39 M] is hiding a smoking habit from me.
POST: Short backstory: I've known him for about 4.5 years, he got divorced last year, we've been seeing each other for about two months. As long as I've known him I've never seen him smoke. It's not a secret that I absolutely hate the habit (cigarettes). I just think it's disgusting and I personally don't (usually) date guys that smoke. I just prefer not to be grossed out by a guy I'm dating.
I went to his place this past Saturday and saw a pack of cigarettes and I asked him about it, and he said that he has occasionally had one when he gets drunk, but rarely, and that he meant to throw the pack out.
Last night we went out to the bar and after a little while he asked if I minded if he went to make a phone call he forgot to make earlier. When he came back inside, I thought I caught a whiff of it, and he sat a little further away from me than usually for ~20 minutes or so. Looked like he may have had a pack in his pocket, but I didn't see it so I can't be sure. That was the one and only time I've suspected it.
I realize in the grand scheme of things that this isn't a huge deal, but I'm not sure what to do. I like him enough at this point that I wouldn't break things off because of it, but I'm not even sure how to bring it up. I'm big on honesty, and he hasn't lied to me or anything as far as I can tell, so I'm not worried about that. Do I bring it up? Do I just ignore it for now and see if it even becomes an issue? Sorry for my /r/relationships equivalent of a first world problem!
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: I [25 F] think that the guy I've been seeing for a couple months [39 M] is hiding a smoking habit from me.\n\nPOST: Short backstory: I've known him for about 4.5 years, he got divorced last year, we've been seeing each other for about two months. As long as I've known him I've never seen him smoke. It's not a secret that I absolutely hate the habit (cigarettes). I just think it's disgusting and I personally don't (usually) date guys that smoke. I just prefer not to be grossed out by a guy I'm dating. \n\nI went to his place this past Saturday and saw a pack of cigarettes and I asked him about it, and he said that he has occasionally had one when he gets drunk, but rarely, and that he meant to throw the pack out. \n\nLast night we went out to the bar and after a little while he asked if I minded if he went to make a phone call he forgot to make earlier. When he came back inside, I thought I caught a whiff of it, and he sat a little further away from me than usually for ~20 minutes or so. Looked like he may have had a pack in his pocket, but I didn't see it so I can't be sure. That was the one and only time I've suspected it. \n\nI realize in the grand scheme of things that this isn't a huge deal, but I'm not sure what to do. I like him enough at this point that I wouldn't break things off because of it, but I'm not even sure how to bring it up. I'm big on honesty, and he hasn't lied to me or anything as far as I can tell, so I'm not worried about that. Do I bring it up? Do I just ignore it for now and see if it even becomes an issue? Sorry for my /r/relationships equivalent of a first world problem!\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I think he's hiding a new smoking habit because he knows I hate it, and I'm not sure how to proceed.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_36rr3e | relationships | I [25 F] think that the guy I've been seeing for a couple months [39 M] is hiding a smoking habit from me. | Short backstory: I've known him for about 4.5 years, he got divorced last year, we've been seeing each other for about two months. As long as I've known him I've never seen him smoke. It's not a secret that I absolutely hate the habit (cigarettes). I just think it's disgusting and I personally don't (usually) date guys that smoke. I just prefer not to be grossed out by a guy I'm dating.
I went to his place this past Saturday and saw a pack of cigarettes and I asked him about it, and he said that he has occasionally had one when he gets drunk, but rarely, and that he meant to throw the pack out.
Last night we went out to the bar and after a little while he asked if I minded if he went to make a phone call he forgot to make earlier. When he came back inside, I thought I caught a whiff of it, and he sat a little further away from me than usually for ~20 minutes or so. Looked like he may have had a pack in his pocket, but I didn't see it so I can't be sure. That was the one and only time I've suspected it.
I realize in the grand scheme of things that this isn't a huge deal, but I'm not sure what to do. I like him enough at this point that I wouldn't break things off because of it, but I'm not even sure how to bring it up. I'm big on honesty, and he hasn't lied to me or anything as far as I can tell, so I'm not worried about that. Do I bring it up? Do I just ignore it for now and see if it even becomes an issue? Sorry for my /r/relationships equivalent of a first world problem! | I think he's hiding a new smoking habit because he knows I hate it, and I'm not sure how to proceed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22F] love my boyfriend [24M] dearly, but I don't want to move in with him...
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years.
Our relationship for the most part has been pretty good. We get along well in nearly every capacity - life plans, sex, etc. I'm very happy with him.
Yesterday he asked me to move in with him. I'm graduating college this fall, and am looking for a job in the same area he works.
When he asked, I realized... I really don't want to live with him. And I feel my reasons are kind of stupid.
I'm very close to my family, and I feel living with him would impede my ability to see them often. I travel to go see them and I don't want him to come with me. It's not that they don't like him - quite the opposite. I just don't like having him there. I have to entertain him, and he takes away from my ability to be with them.
Also, I want to move in my parents someday. I know he's against moving in his or my parents in the future, but I wish to live with mine.
Finally, I really enjoy being alone. I don't enjoy having him at my apartment longer than a few days - I begin to crave being fully alone.
I really do love him. But I don't know if this is a sign of a bigger issue or not. What should I say to him? Do you guys think this means anything?
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: I [22F] love my boyfriend [24M] dearly, but I don't want to move in with him...\n\nPOST: My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. \n\nOur relationship for the most part has been pretty good. We get along well in nearly every capacity - life plans, sex, etc. I'm very happy with him.\n\nYesterday he asked me to move in with him. I'm graduating college this fall, and am looking for a job in the same area he works.\n\nWhen he asked, I realized... I really don't want to live with him. And I feel my reasons are kind of stupid.\n\nI'm very close to my family, and I feel living with him would impede my ability to see them often. I travel to go see them and I don't want him to come with me. It's not that they don't like him - quite the opposite. I just don't like having him there. I have to entertain him, and he takes away from my ability to be with them. \n\nAlso, I want to move in my parents someday. I know he's against moving in his or my parents in the future, but I wish to live with mine. \n\nFinally, I really enjoy being alone. I don't enjoy having him at my apartment longer than a few days - I begin to crave being fully alone.\n\nI really do love him. But I don't know if this is a sign of a bigger issue or not. What should I say to him? Do you guys think this means anything?\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I don't want to move in with my boyfriend because I like visiting my family without him, want to move my parents into my home in the future, and just like being alone. Does this mean anything?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_4yyvu1 | relationships | I [22F] love my boyfriend [24M] dearly, but I don't want to move in with him... | My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years.
Our relationship for the most part has been pretty good. We get along well in nearly every capacity - life plans, sex, etc. I'm very happy with him.
Yesterday he asked me to move in with him. I'm graduating college this fall, and am looking for a job in the same area he works.
When he asked, I realized... I really don't want to live with him. And I feel my reasons are kind of stupid.
I'm very close to my family, and I feel living with him would impede my ability to see them often. I travel to go see them and I don't want him to come with me. It's not that they don't like him - quite the opposite. I just don't like having him there. I have to entertain him, and he takes away from my ability to be with them.
Also, I want to move in my parents someday. I know he's against moving in his or my parents in the future, but I wish to live with mine.
Finally, I really enjoy being alone. I don't enjoy having him at my apartment longer than a few days - I begin to crave being fully alone.
I really do love him. But I don't know if this is a sign of a bigger issue or not. What should I say to him? Do you guys think this means anything? | I don't want to move in with my boyfriend because I like visiting my family without him, want to move my parents into my home in the future, and just like being alone. Does this mean anything? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I want to throw a great party, Reddit. What are some special things that I can do to make this happen?
POST: Alright, so my 19th birthday is next Friday. I live in a college town, renting a house alone for the summer, and I want to throw a great party. I have invited friends from both school (which means they are coming from all over the state) and from home. However, since it's summer, I know that a lot of people won't show. Gas is expensive and for some, it's a far drive, so I understand. I'm thinking music, card playing, beer pong, etc... But what else can I do to make sure that everyone mingles, it isn't lame, and that things stay under control while everyone still has a good time?
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit\n\nTITLE: I want to throw a great party, Reddit. What are some special things that I can do to make this happen?\n\nPOST: Alright, so my 19th birthday is next Friday. I live in a college town, renting a house alone for the summer, and I want to throw a great party. I have invited friends from both school (which means they are coming from all over the state) and from home. However, since it's summer, I know that a lot of people won't show. Gas is expensive and for some, it's a far drive, so I understand. I'm thinking music, card playing, beer pong, etc... But what else can I do to make sure that everyone mingles, it isn't lame, and that things stay under control while everyone still has a good time?\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "How do I throw a kick ass party with a bunch of people who don't really know each other and my house is still standing in the morning?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_ic8j7 | AskReddit | I want to throw a great party, Reddit. What are some special things that I can do to make this happen? | Alright, so my 19th birthday is next Friday. I live in a college town, renting a house alone for the summer, and I want to throw a great party. I have invited friends from both school (which means they are coming from all over the state) and from home. However, since it's summer, I know that a lot of people won't show. Gas is expensive and for some, it's a far drive, so I understand. I'm thinking music, card playing, beer pong, etc... But what else can I do to make sure that everyone mingles, it isn't lame, and that things stay under control while everyone still has a good time? | How do I throw a kick ass party with a bunch of people who don't really know each other and my house is still standing in the morning? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My close friend [both 20F] is getting married abroad but I don't want to go. Am I being selfish?
POST: We've known each other since teenagers and been through a lot together. She recently got engaged and is planning on having her wedding in Morocco because that's where her family (and fiance) originate. Despite wanting to be there for her special day, there's several reasons why I don't want to go:
1) She has cheated multiple times on her fiance and does not plan on ever telling him. I've always told her I disapproved (but agreed to not tell anyone) but I'm scared I might do something impulsively on the day.
2) I've been to Morocco last yr with her where we stayed with her family and I loathed everything. I'm a city girl through and through, I struggled with the heat, lack of hygiene, mannerisms etc (sorry to any moroccans, nothing personal I just prefer clean concrete type places)
3) I found the residents and her family rude and racist. I am asian, which obviously made me stand out and I was often stared at and had racist remarks shouted at me throughout (to the point where I almost bought a ticket to go home early, it was that bad). Even caught strangers taking pictures of me several times. Her family were civil but I caught them talking about me multiple times when they thought I wasn't aware and I could tell they weren't saying nice things. (I'm not saying everyone there is a racist obviously but the experience was very upsetting and scarring for me).
4) Don't want to waste money on the plane ticket as I am struggling financially (I'm a uni student).
What should I do? Am I just being selfish for not wanting to go (after all it's her wedding day)?
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: My close friend [both 20F] is getting married abroad but I don't want to go. Am I being selfish?\n\nPOST: We've known each other since teenagers and been through a lot together. She recently got engaged and is planning on having her wedding in Morocco because that's where her family (and fiance) originate. Despite wanting to be there for her special day, there's several reasons why I don't want to go:\n\n1) She has cheated multiple times on her fiance and does not plan on ever telling him. I've always told her I disapproved (but agreed to not tell anyone) but I'm scared I might do something impulsively on the day.\n\n2) I've been to Morocco last yr with her where we stayed with her family and I loathed everything. I'm a city girl through and through, I struggled with the heat, lack of hygiene, mannerisms etc (sorry to any moroccans, nothing personal I just prefer clean concrete type places)\n\n3) I found the residents and her family rude and racist. I am asian, which obviously made me stand out and I was often stared at and had racist remarks shouted at me throughout (to the point where I almost bought a ticket to go home early, it was that bad). Even caught strangers taking pictures of me several times. Her family were civil but I caught them talking about me multiple times when they thought I wasn't aware and I could tell they weren't saying nice things. (I'm not saying everyone there is a racist obviously but the experience was very upsetting and scarring for me). \n\n4) Don't want to waste money on the plane ticket as I am struggling financially (I'm a uni student). \n\nWhat should I do? Am I just being selfish for not wanting to go (after all it's her wedding day)?\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Friend wants to get married to guy she cheated on in Morocco. Don't wanna go cos I hate the place from bad experience and disagree with infidelity. ",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_3c5lsl | relationships | My close friend [both 20F] is getting married abroad but I don't want to go. Am I being selfish? | We've known each other since teenagers and been through a lot together. She recently got engaged and is planning on having her wedding in Morocco because that's where her family (and fiance) originate. Despite wanting to be there for her special day, there's several reasons why I don't want to go:
1) She has cheated multiple times on her fiance and does not plan on ever telling him. I've always told her I disapproved (but agreed to not tell anyone) but I'm scared I might do something impulsively on the day.
2) I've been to Morocco last yr with her where we stayed with her family and I loathed everything. I'm a city girl through and through, I struggled with the heat, lack of hygiene, mannerisms etc (sorry to any moroccans, nothing personal I just prefer clean concrete type places)
3) I found the residents and her family rude and racist. I am asian, which obviously made me stand out and I was often stared at and had racist remarks shouted at me throughout (to the point where I almost bought a ticket to go home early, it was that bad). Even caught strangers taking pictures of me several times. Her family were civil but I caught them talking about me multiple times when they thought I wasn't aware and I could tell they weren't saying nice things. (I'm not saying everyone there is a racist obviously but the experience was very upsetting and scarring for me).
4) Don't want to waste money on the plane ticket as I am struggling financially (I'm a uni student).
What should I do? Am I just being selfish for not wanting to go (after all it's her wedding day)? | Friend wants to get married to guy she cheated on in Morocco. Don't wanna go cos I hate the place from bad experience and disagree with infidelity. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[19M] pissed off with my [19F] over sickness (long term relationship)
POST: So to keep it as brief as possible I have been dating my SO for coming up 5 years now, every things been great yadayada.
---
Two weeks ago I came down with viral meningitis and was administered to hospital for a couple of nights. She became slightly unwell during this time and was unable to visit me which is fine.
--
However,to confirm my meningitis I had a lumbar puncture and following this procedure I have had a case of spinal headaches related to the puncture which has been going on for coming up to 2 weeks now. I have been bed ridden as getting out of bed (sitting or standing) makes me nauseas to the point of vomiting, dizzy and begins my headaches. This is not contagious and every day I am slowly improving but one thing has been bugging me, my girlfriend has not come to see me even once throughout this whole ordeal and blew off plans to have her come for a short visit this weekend.
---
Now perhaps I'm being selfish or what have you but is it wrong to have expected her to visit me once throughout this, I mean she hasn't even been in for 5 minutes just to 'see how I'm going' or anything. She's phoned me maybe 4 times, two of those were to blow off plans and honestly I've had more text contact with a guy friend of mine who lives on the other side of the country.
---
Do I have a right to be angry here?
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: Me[19M] pissed off with my [19F] over sickness (long term relationship)\n\nPOST: So to keep it as brief as possible I have been dating my SO for coming up 5 years now, every things been great yadayada.\n---\nTwo weeks ago I came down with viral meningitis and was administered to hospital for a couple of nights. She became slightly unwell during this time and was unable to visit me which is fine.\n--\nHowever,to confirm my meningitis I had a lumbar puncture and following this procedure I have had a case of spinal headaches related to the puncture which has been going on for coming up to 2 weeks now. I have been bed ridden as getting out of bed (sitting or standing) makes me nauseas to the point of vomiting, dizzy and begins my headaches. This is not contagious and every day I am slowly improving but one thing has been bugging me, my girlfriend has not come to see me even once throughout this whole ordeal and blew off plans to have her come for a short visit this weekend.\n---\nNow perhaps I'm being selfish or what have you but is it wrong to have expected her to visit me once throughout this, I mean she hasn't even been in for 5 minutes just to 'see how I'm going' or anything. She's phoned me maybe 4 times, two of those were to blow off plans and honestly I've had more text contact with a guy friend of mine who lives on the other side of the country.\n---\nDo I have a right to be angry here?\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "GF of 5 years hasn't come to visit me in 2 weeks (nearly 3) of being bed ridden, should I be mad?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_1jhf23 | relationships | Me[19M] pissed off with my [19F] over sickness (long term relationship) | So to keep it as brief as possible I have been dating my SO for coming up 5 years now, every things been great yadayada.
---
Two weeks ago I came down with viral meningitis and was administered to hospital for a couple of nights. She became slightly unwell during this time and was unable to visit me which is fine.
--
However,to confirm my meningitis I had a lumbar puncture and following this procedure I have had a case of spinal headaches related to the puncture which has been going on for coming up to 2 weeks now. I have been bed ridden as getting out of bed (sitting or standing) makes me nauseas to the point of vomiting, dizzy and begins my headaches. This is not contagious and every day I am slowly improving but one thing has been bugging me, my girlfriend has not come to see me even once throughout this whole ordeal and blew off plans to have her come for a short visit this weekend.
---
Now perhaps I'm being selfish or what have you but is it wrong to have expected her to visit me once throughout this, I mean she hasn't even been in for 5 minutes just to 'see how I'm going' or anything. She's phoned me maybe 4 times, two of those were to blow off plans and honestly I've had more text contact with a guy friend of mine who lives on the other side of the country.
---
Do I have a right to be angry here? | GF of 5 years hasn't come to visit me in 2 weeks (nearly 3) of being bed ridden, should I be mad? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17 M] don't know how to start a relationship with a girl [16 F]
POST: Well, a little context first, I've been in love/attracted plenty of times over my life, but never I've been able to be with a girl. I've been rejecter every time.
This time the girl (let's call her Caterine) I have a crush on appeared in my life 6 months ago. I met her or a classical concert I went with some of my friend, she was a close friend of one of them so we chat a little bit. I was instantly attracted to her.
2 Months later and 3 more concerts I managed to grow a pair large enough to invite her to a date (as friends, I didn't imply that I liked her that moment) so we could learn more about her.
I was charmed even more by her, she was funny, intellectual, cute, we had a lot in common, same vision of the world, same sense of humour, etc.
We saw each other 2 or 3 more times and we started chatting over the internet, well I've been using the internet for a long time so I'm pretty nerdy in some aspects so I tried not to show that part of me to her, as it turns out she is as nerdy as me.
We could talk about everything, from philosophy to things worthy of being in /b/ (just not that fucked up).
So I like her. A lot. But like always I took my long ass time in knowing her so I'm kinda friendzoned now. Things are starting to look like all previous times. I have for a given that if I express my feeling towards her now I'll be rejected.
I'm fed up of being rejected.
I don't know what to do. How do I start a relationship with her?, if I do nothing she could met another guy and start dating him.. (it has happen to me before and it's horrendous). I don't want to be a friend anymore.
Thank you for reading.
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: I [17 M] don't know how to start a relationship with a girl [16 F]\n\nPOST: Well, a little context first, I've been in love/attracted plenty of times over my life, but never I've been able to be with a girl. I've been rejecter every time.\n\nThis time the girl (let's call her Caterine) I have a crush on appeared in my life 6 months ago. I met her or a classical concert I went with some of my friend, she was a close friend of one of them so we chat a little bit. I was instantly attracted to her.\n\n2 Months later and 3 more concerts I managed to grow a pair large enough to invite her to a date (as friends, I didn't imply that I liked her that moment) so we could learn more about her.\n\nI was charmed even more by her, she was funny, intellectual, cute, we had a lot in common, same vision of the world, same sense of humour, etc. \n\nWe saw each other 2 or 3 more times and we started chatting over the internet, well I've been using the internet for a long time so I'm pretty nerdy in some aspects so I tried not to show that part of me to her, as it turns out she is as nerdy as me. \n\nWe could talk about everything, from philosophy to things worthy of being in /b/ (just not that fucked up). \n\nSo I like her. A lot. But like always I took my long ass time in knowing her so I'm kinda friendzoned now. Things are starting to look like all previous times. I have for a given that if I express my feeling towards her now I'll be rejected. \n\nI'm fed up of being rejected.\n\nI don't know what to do. How do I start a relationship with her?, if I do nothing she could met another guy and start dating him.. (it has happen to me before and it's horrendous). I don't want to be a friend anymore.\n\nThank you for reading.\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Been rejected countless times, Really like this girl, Afraid of expressing my feelings, don't know how to do it. (English isn't my main language so I'm sorry for any grammatical errors )",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_2n825b | relationships | I [17 M] don't know how to start a relationship with a girl [16 F] | Well, a little context first, I've been in love/attracted plenty of times over my life, but never I've been able to be with a girl. I've been rejecter every time.
This time the girl (let's call her Caterine) I have a crush on appeared in my life 6 months ago. I met her or a classical concert I went with some of my friend, she was a close friend of one of them so we chat a little bit. I was instantly attracted to her.
2 Months later and 3 more concerts I managed to grow a pair large enough to invite her to a date (as friends, I didn't imply that I liked her that moment) so we could learn more about her.
I was charmed even more by her, she was funny, intellectual, cute, we had a lot in common, same vision of the world, same sense of humour, etc.
We saw each other 2 or 3 more times and we started chatting over the internet, well I've been using the internet for a long time so I'm pretty nerdy in some aspects so I tried not to show that part of me to her, as it turns out she is as nerdy as me.
We could talk about everything, from philosophy to things worthy of being in /b/ (just not that fucked up).
So I like her. A lot. But like always I took my long ass time in knowing her so I'm kinda friendzoned now. Things are starting to look like all previous times. I have for a given that if I express my feeling towards her now I'll be rejected.
I'm fed up of being rejected.
I don't know what to do. How do I start a relationship with her?, if I do nothing she could met another guy and start dating him.. (it has happen to me before and it's horrendous). I don't want to be a friend anymore.
Thank you for reading. | Been rejected countless times, Really like this girl, Afraid of expressing my feelings, don't know how to do it. (English isn't my main language so I'm sorry for any grammatical errors ) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should me [f]irst relationship be long distance?
POST: Hi all!
Backstory: I just recently came out of my "ugly duckling with extreme social anxiety" phase I have never had a boyfriend/girlfriend (am also a "supervirgin") or many friends.I have really come out of my shell these past few months!
I [19f] have started a new summer job and will be transferring to a university that 4 hours away. I will be quiting exactly a month from now. I met this [21m] guy at my job. He's great and we are both interested in each other. Next time I see him at work will be Saturday and his close friend told me that he is planning to ask me out. I have never had a crush like this before and this is also the first guy who is interested in me in a non-sexual context. My only issue is that he isn't in school and therefore lives permanently up by our job. I am moving into an apartment by my university and will be living down there until I graduate in 3 years (I will be an entering sophmore). I see myself as having 3 options:
-We date and do it long distance -However, I am worried that I will be a bad girlfriend. My current class schedule is hectic and I still have to work to pay for my apartment. My major also requires a lot of outside of class work. This would leave very little time to talk and come up on the weekends for visits.
-We have a summer fling. -When I asked my mom for advice she suggested this. According to her, going on a date will help take away some of my social anxiety around dating and make me more confident for future dates with other people.
-I stop everything in its tracks now.
I'm not sure what to do. And would really appreciate anyone's advice.
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: Should me [f]irst relationship be long distance?\n\nPOST: Hi all!\n\nBackstory: I just recently came out of my \"ugly duckling with extreme social anxiety\" phase I have never had a boyfriend/girlfriend (am also a \"supervirgin\") or many friends.I have really come out of my shell these past few months!\n\nI [19f] have started a new summer job and will be transferring to a university that 4 hours away. I will be quiting exactly a month from now. I met this [21m] guy at my job. He's great and we are both interested in each other. Next time I see him at work will be Saturday and his close friend told me that he is planning to ask me out. I have never had a crush like this before and this is also the first guy who is interested in me in a non-sexual context. My only issue is that he isn't in school and therefore lives permanently up by our job. I am moving into an apartment by my university and will be living down there until I graduate in 3 years (I will be an entering sophmore). I see myself as having 3 options:\n\n -We date and do it long distance -However, I am worried that I will be a bad girlfriend. My current class schedule is hectic and I still have to work to pay for my apartment. My major also requires a lot of outside of class work. This would leave very little time to talk and come up on the weekends for visits.\n\n -We have a summer fling. -When I asked my mom for advice she suggested this. According to her, going on a date will help take away some of my social anxiety around dating and make me more confident for future dates with other people.\n\n-I stop everything in its tracks now.\n\nI'm not sure what to do. And would really appreciate anyone's advice.\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I like this guy but am moving away, should we do it long distance, have a summer fling or let it fizzle?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_4sx055 | relationships | Should me [f]irst relationship be long distance? | Hi all!
Backstory: I just recently came out of my "ugly duckling with extreme social anxiety" phase I have never had a boyfriend/girlfriend (am also a "supervirgin") or many friends.I have really come out of my shell these past few months!
I [19f] have started a new summer job and will be transferring to a university that 4 hours away. I will be quiting exactly a month from now. I met this [21m] guy at my job. He's great and we are both interested in each other. Next time I see him at work will be Saturday and his close friend told me that he is planning to ask me out. I have never had a crush like this before and this is also the first guy who is interested in me in a non-sexual context. My only issue is that he isn't in school and therefore lives permanently up by our job. I am moving into an apartment by my university and will be living down there until I graduate in 3 years (I will be an entering sophmore). I see myself as having 3 options:
-We date and do it long distance -However, I am worried that I will be a bad girlfriend. My current class schedule is hectic and I still have to work to pay for my apartment. My major also requires a lot of outside of class work. This would leave very little time to talk and come up on the weekends for visits.
-We have a summer fling. -When I asked my mom for advice she suggested this. According to her, going on a date will help take away some of my social anxiety around dating and make me more confident for future dates with other people.
-I stop everything in its tracks now.
I'm not sure what to do. And would really appreciate anyone's advice. | I like this guy but am moving away, should we do it long distance, have a summer fling or let it fizzle? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I just saw my ex boyfriend for the first time in a year.
POST: We had an extremely emotionally intense relationship. Together for 2 years, lived together for the second year. We didn't have a crazy break up, we were both so numb and exhausted that we just said this is it and kind of drifted away after I moved out. But we still were kind and respectful to each other. I think of him often and what he's doing, hope the best for him. He got in touch with me on Friday and I went to his house on Sunday. We both have new dogs and we took them to the levee nearby (we live in south Louisiana) to run. We didn't do anything physical, just had a long hug when I left. But it's left me in a state of confusion. Part of me misses him a lot because we were good friends and were there for each other when a lot of crazy shit was happening. But part of me knows that he is too intense and I'm really not equipped to emotionally handle him without throwing myself into depression and anxiety. I know I got closure from the experience, but I don't think it was the closure I wanted/expected. Part of me still hopes we can be together one day, but now I'm more aware than ever that it probably will never happen (and that's probably a good thing). I've never been the type to play with fire, but for the first time I want to ignore what I know about us as couple and try it again (because when we were good, we were AMAZING).
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest\n\nTITLE: I just saw my ex boyfriend for the first time in a year.\n\nPOST: We had an extremely emotionally intense relationship. Together for 2 years, lived together for the second year. We didn't have a crazy break up, we were both so numb and exhausted that we just said this is it and kind of drifted away after I moved out. But we still were kind and respectful to each other. I think of him often and what he's doing, hope the best for him. He got in touch with me on Friday and I went to his house on Sunday. We both have new dogs and we took them to the levee nearby (we live in south Louisiana) to run. We didn't do anything physical, just had a long hug when I left. But it's left me in a state of confusion. Part of me misses him a lot because we were good friends and were there for each other when a lot of crazy shit was happening. But part of me knows that he is too intense and I'm really not equipped to emotionally handle him without throwing myself into depression and anxiety. I know I got closure from the experience, but I don't think it was the closure I wanted/expected. Part of me still hopes we can be together one day, but now I'm more aware than ever that it probably will never happen (and that's probably a good thing). I've never been the type to play with fire, but for the first time I want to ignore what I know about us as couple and try it again (because when we were good, we were AMAZING).\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I'm conflicted about my ex because seeing him made me realize that sometimes what you think you want isn't what's good for you.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_1ebk9u | offmychest | I just saw my ex boyfriend for the first time in a year. | We had an extremely emotionally intense relationship. Together for 2 years, lived together for the second year. We didn't have a crazy break up, we were both so numb and exhausted that we just said this is it and kind of drifted away after I moved out. But we still were kind and respectful to each other. I think of him often and what he's doing, hope the best for him. He got in touch with me on Friday and I went to his house on Sunday. We both have new dogs and we took them to the levee nearby (we live in south Louisiana) to run. We didn't do anything physical, just had a long hug when I left. But it's left me in a state of confusion. Part of me misses him a lot because we were good friends and were there for each other when a lot of crazy shit was happening. But part of me knows that he is too intense and I'm really not equipped to emotionally handle him without throwing myself into depression and anxiety. I know I got closure from the experience, but I don't think it was the closure I wanted/expected. Part of me still hopes we can be together one day, but now I'm more aware than ever that it probably will never happen (and that's probably a good thing). I've never been the type to play with fire, but for the first time I want to ignore what I know about us as couple and try it again (because when we were good, we were AMAZING). | I'm conflicted about my ex because seeing him made me realize that sometimes what you think you want isn't what's good for you. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By befriending a cannibal in grade 4-5.
POST: As usual this didn't happen today, it actually happened around 10 years ago when I was in grade 4 or 5.
I was not the most popular kid in school back in the day, probably starting from around grade 2 nobody liked me and my friends. It did suck being hated by so many, but things were a lot worse for the 2nd tier dorks. There was a few kids in my school that would wander the play ground alone and cause all girls to run away in fear if they ever got close. Seeing as I also got a similar, less disgusted reaction from everybody I felt bad for one of these kids. I started talking to him, joking with him, overall trying to cheer him up and this is were things went down hill.
It was a normal day in class, me and the weird kid said hello, talked a bit and then he insisted that he sat next to me. I didn't really mind and continued on with my work. I started noticing he kept staring at me without saying anything but I just ignored it, seeing as he was 'the weird kid'. A few minutes later, with the speed of 6 hyenas, he jumped forward and bit me on the arm. For about a second or two I sat there, completely bewildered as he nibbled on my arm. After realizing it was actually hurting a lot, I pushed him away and yanked my blood covered arm right out of his slimy gob. He looked at me and apologized as I turned and ran to the teacher. When the teacher asked the kid why he savagely barraged my arm with nibbles, he just straight up said "I was hungry".
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/tifu\n\nTITLE: TIFU By befriending a cannibal in grade 4-5.\n\nPOST: As usual this didn't happen today, it actually happened around 10 years ago when I was in grade 4 or 5.\n\nI was not the most popular kid in school back in the day, probably starting from around grade 2 nobody liked me and my friends. It did suck being hated by so many, but things were a lot worse for the 2nd tier dorks. There was a few kids in my school that would wander the play ground alone and cause all girls to run away in fear if they ever got close. Seeing as I also got a similar, less disgusted reaction from everybody I felt bad for one of these kids. I started talking to him, joking with him, overall trying to cheer him up and this is were things went down hill.\n\nIt was a normal day in class, me and the weird kid said hello, talked a bit and then he insisted that he sat next to me. I didn't really mind and continued on with my work. I started noticing he kept staring at me without saying anything but I just ignored it, seeing as he was 'the weird kid'. A few minutes later, with the speed of 6 hyenas, he jumped forward and bit me on the arm. For about a second or two I sat there, completely bewildered as he nibbled on my arm. After realizing it was actually hurting a lot, I pushed him away and yanked my blood covered arm right out of his slimy gob. He looked at me and apologized as I turned and ran to the teacher. When the teacher asked the kid why he savagely barraged my arm with nibbles, he just straight up said \"I was hungry\".\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "tried to make a weird kid feel better and ended up being attacked by him because he was hungry. I not only had a sore arm but I felt horrible for the kids living conditions at home, double whammy.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_30l1ug | tifu | TIFU By befriending a cannibal in grade 4-5. | As usual this didn't happen today, it actually happened around 10 years ago when I was in grade 4 or 5.
I was not the most popular kid in school back in the day, probably starting from around grade 2 nobody liked me and my friends. It did suck being hated by so many, but things were a lot worse for the 2nd tier dorks. There was a few kids in my school that would wander the play ground alone and cause all girls to run away in fear if they ever got close. Seeing as I also got a similar, less disgusted reaction from everybody I felt bad for one of these kids. I started talking to him, joking with him, overall trying to cheer him up and this is were things went down hill.
It was a normal day in class, me and the weird kid said hello, talked a bit and then he insisted that he sat next to me. I didn't really mind and continued on with my work. I started noticing he kept staring at me without saying anything but I just ignored it, seeing as he was 'the weird kid'. A few minutes later, with the speed of 6 hyenas, he jumped forward and bit me on the arm. For about a second or two I sat there, completely bewildered as he nibbled on my arm. After realizing it was actually hurting a lot, I pushed him away and yanked my blood covered arm right out of his slimy gob. He looked at me and apologized as I turned and ran to the teacher. When the teacher asked the kid why he savagely barraged my arm with nibbles, he just straight up said "I was hungry". | tried to make a weird kid feel better and ended up being attacked by him because he was hungry. I not only had a sore arm but I felt horrible for the kids living conditions at home, double whammy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Does writing a few papers on a band make you "obsessed"?
POST: So far in my college career I have taken all of my humanities courses on the subject of music (they tend to interest me more than others). There are always research topics that we are allowed to choose. During my first semester, I did it on a band I pulled out of a hat (seriously, I just hit shuffle on iTunes and picked a topic concerning that band). The teacher loved it, so next semester I chose a different aspect of the same band where my previous research would have been irrelevant. This also net me a great grade. I have rinsed and repeated up until my final class which is next semester and I have become known as the local expert on that band by both faculty and students alike. They also believe me to be completely obsessed with that band. I beg to differ as I mainly did it for the grades (even though I did find a good chunk of the research very interesting). I think I'm not in the best position to be subjective on the topic, so I ask you Reddit: is this an obsession with a specific band?
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit\n\nTITLE: Does writing a few papers on a band make you \"obsessed\"?\n\nPOST: So far in my college career I have taken all of my humanities courses on the subject of music (they tend to interest me more than others). There are always research topics that we are allowed to choose. During my first semester, I did it on a band I pulled out of a hat (seriously, I just hit shuffle on iTunes and picked a topic concerning that band). The teacher loved it, so next semester I chose a different aspect of the same band where my previous research would have been irrelevant. This also net me a great grade. I have rinsed and repeated up until my final class which is next semester and I have become known as the local expert on that band by both faculty and students alike. They also believe me to be completely obsessed with that band. I beg to differ as I mainly did it for the grades (even though I did find a good chunk of the research very interesting). I think I'm not in the best position to be subjective on the topic, so I ask you Reddit: is this an obsession with a specific band?\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I found out I was good at writing papers on a band that isn't my favourite band but I found it nets me the best grades. Does this make me obsessed with that band?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_mr748 | AskReddit | Does writing a few papers on a band make you "obsessed"? | So far in my college career I have taken all of my humanities courses on the subject of music (they tend to interest me more than others). There are always research topics that we are allowed to choose. During my first semester, I did it on a band I pulled out of a hat (seriously, I just hit shuffle on iTunes and picked a topic concerning that band). The teacher loved it, so next semester I chose a different aspect of the same band where my previous research would have been irrelevant. This also net me a great grade. I have rinsed and repeated up until my final class which is next semester and I have become known as the local expert on that band by both faculty and students alike. They also believe me to be completely obsessed with that band. I beg to differ as I mainly did it for the grades (even though I did find a good chunk of the research very interesting). I think I'm not in the best position to be subjective on the topic, so I ask you Reddit: is this an obsession with a specific band? | I found out I was good at writing papers on a band that isn't my favourite band but I found it nets me the best grades. Does this make me obsessed with that band? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I'm just really tired right now...
POST: I just discovered this subreddit and I am glad I did because I am about to be at the breaking point.
I am about to move out of my house with my boyfriend and into an apartment in about a week. I've been extremely stressed out. I am losing sleep about this and I have been becoming irritated at many things. Having enough money has been something that has haunted me most of all. I am worried that we won't be able to make it. I worry about how we will be living and if we will even have food at the table. I have talked to a couple of friends about this and they have all told me that if I'm not ready to move out then I shouldn't, but I have lived a very abusive life here at my house so moving is for the best. I'm probably just scared of the unknown. My boyfriend doesn't seem to be worried at all about moving out and it ticks me off because it feels like he's not aware of how the situation is and how worried I am, but I might be over thinking things. I don't know.... Anyways just wanted to get that out.
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest\n\nTITLE: I'm just really tired right now...\n\nPOST: I just discovered this subreddit and I am glad I did because I am about to be at the breaking point.\nI am about to move out of my house with my boyfriend and into an apartment in about a week. I've been extremely stressed out. I am losing sleep about this and I have been becoming irritated at many things. Having enough money has been something that has haunted me most of all. I am worried that we won't be able to make it. I worry about how we will be living and if we will even have food at the table. I have talked to a couple of friends about this and they have all told me that if I'm not ready to move out then I shouldn't, but I have lived a very abusive life here at my house so moving is for the best. I'm probably just scared of the unknown. My boyfriend doesn't seem to be worried at all about moving out and it ticks me off because it feels like he's not aware of how the situation is and how worried I am, but I might be over thinking things. I don't know.... Anyways just wanted to get that out.\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I'm worried about moving out of parent's house and into an apartment with a boyfriend who doesn't really seemed worried at all.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_1e42z5 | offmychest | I'm just really tired right now... | I just discovered this subreddit and I am glad I did because I am about to be at the breaking point.
I am about to move out of my house with my boyfriend and into an apartment in about a week. I've been extremely stressed out. I am losing sleep about this and I have been becoming irritated at many things. Having enough money has been something that has haunted me most of all. I am worried that we won't be able to make it. I worry about how we will be living and if we will even have food at the table. I have talked to a couple of friends about this and they have all told me that if I'm not ready to move out then I shouldn't, but I have lived a very abusive life here at my house so moving is for the best. I'm probably just scared of the unknown. My boyfriend doesn't seem to be worried at all about moving out and it ticks me off because it feels like he's not aware of how the situation is and how worried I am, but I might be over thinking things. I don't know.... Anyways just wanted to get that out. | I'm worried about moving out of parent's house and into an apartment with a boyfriend who doesn't really seemed worried at all. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23F] continually feel unwelcome around my boyfriend's [22M] Dad's side of the family.
POST: So my boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 2 years, and for the first 2, things were pretty great. I felt welcomed and loved by everyone in his families (his parents are divorced), even though the bf was rarely around--we had a LDR where he went to college 5 hours away on a sports scholarship.
Last summer, he moves back because of reasons other than our distance. But he got depressed from quitting a sport he'd been competitive in for 10+ years, worked at his new job 50+ hrs/wk, and we started to have communication problems. We broke up in August because of this, but got back together in mid-October, and things have been better than fantastic since. We're planning a future together.
His mother's side of the family welcomed me back with open arms, and have been so loving and supportive. His Dad.....not so much.
While his Mom still invited me to Christmas dinner and events, there was no such invitations from his Dad's side--in fact, on Christmas Eve when we were at his Mom's house, his Dad calls and tells the BF that he has tickets to Star Wars for the entire family....everyone except me. And his father knew he and I were spending time at his Mom's that night.
And ever since then, they've still been very cold with me. They rarely say hello, they won't look at me in general (his two younger sisters still like me), they have made the comment that they feel like I'm going to "take him away" and don't want us to be physically affectionate at all in their household (no sitting close together, etc.), and it's very uncomfortable to go over to their house.
I just feel like an outcast, even though I'm trying so hard to be friendly and rebuild a relationship with them for my boyfriend's sake.
I just don't know how to proceed; how do I win them over? How do I handle feeling like the black sheep when I want to spend the rest of my life with this man, despite how his Dad and his stepmom are acting?
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: I [23F] continually feel unwelcome around my boyfriend's [22M] Dad's side of the family.\n\nPOST: So my boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 2 years, and for the first 2, things were pretty great. I felt welcomed and loved by everyone in his families (his parents are divorced), even though the bf was rarely around--we had a LDR where he went to college 5 hours away on a sports scholarship.\n\nLast summer, he moves back because of reasons other than our distance. But he got depressed from quitting a sport he'd been competitive in for 10+ years, worked at his new job 50+ hrs/wk, and we started to have communication problems. We broke up in August because of this, but got back together in mid-October, and things have been better than fantastic since. We're planning a future together.\n\nHis mother's side of the family welcomed me back with open arms, and have been so loving and supportive. His Dad.....not so much.\n\nWhile his Mom still invited me to Christmas dinner and events, there was no such invitations from his Dad's side--in fact, on Christmas Eve when we were at his Mom's house, his Dad calls and tells the BF that he has tickets to Star Wars for the entire family....everyone except me. And his father knew he and I were spending time at his Mom's that night. \n\nAnd ever since then, they've still been very cold with me. They rarely say hello, they won't look at me in general (his two younger sisters still like me), they have made the comment that they feel like I'm going to \"take him away\" and don't want us to be physically affectionate at all in their household (no sitting close together, etc.), and it's very uncomfortable to go over to their house.\n\nI just feel like an outcast, even though I'm trying so hard to be friendly and rebuild a relationship with them for my boyfriend's sake.\n\nI just don't know how to proceed; how do I win them over? How do I handle feeling like the black sheep when I want to spend the rest of my life with this man, despite how his Dad and his stepmom are acting?\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "made the mistake of breaking up, got back together, bf's Dad and Stepmom are completely stonewalling me.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_46d53t | relationships | I [23F] continually feel unwelcome around my boyfriend's [22M] Dad's side of the family. | So my boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 2 years, and for the first 2, things were pretty great. I felt welcomed and loved by everyone in his families (his parents are divorced), even though the bf was rarely around--we had a LDR where he went to college 5 hours away on a sports scholarship.
Last summer, he moves back because of reasons other than our distance. But he got depressed from quitting a sport he'd been competitive in for 10+ years, worked at his new job 50+ hrs/wk, and we started to have communication problems. We broke up in August because of this, but got back together in mid-October, and things have been better than fantastic since. We're planning a future together.
His mother's side of the family welcomed me back with open arms, and have been so loving and supportive. His Dad.....not so much.
While his Mom still invited me to Christmas dinner and events, there was no such invitations from his Dad's side--in fact, on Christmas Eve when we were at his Mom's house, his Dad calls and tells the BF that he has tickets to Star Wars for the entire family....everyone except me. And his father knew he and I were spending time at his Mom's that night.
And ever since then, they've still been very cold with me. They rarely say hello, they won't look at me in general (his two younger sisters still like me), they have made the comment that they feel like I'm going to "take him away" and don't want us to be physically affectionate at all in their household (no sitting close together, etc.), and it's very uncomfortable to go over to their house.
I just feel like an outcast, even though I'm trying so hard to be friendly and rebuild a relationship with them for my boyfriend's sake.
I just don't know how to proceed; how do I win them over? How do I handle feeling like the black sheep when I want to spend the rest of my life with this man, despite how his Dad and his stepmom are acting? | made the mistake of breaking up, got back together, bf's Dad and Stepmom are completely stonewalling me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [30 F] boyfriend [25 M] of 14 months, we are considering moving in together in a home that I own. What's the best way to split expenses?
POST: My boyfriend and I are discussing moving in together in the fall when his lease is up. We've been together for just over a year.
We both make a similar salary. He makes about $2K more than I do. We have been discussing how to share expenses and split the bills. We are both open to communication and discussion on this life change.
Expect is a strong word here, but I would expect this would be a landlord-tenant style relationship in the sense that I would cover all household expenses related to home maintenance. Plumbing, electrical, roofing, appliances ... If anything breaks, then that's on me. With regards to bills we both contribute to (water, electricity, internet, etc), I'd expect to split those down the middle. With regards to the monthly payment, I'd also expect to split that down the middle. The reason for that is that it's a reasonable amount that's about equivalent to his current apartment rent. If we were to find a place to rent together, the expectation would be that we'd split a rent payment 50/50. I see the house as a shared space so I think it's reasonable that we share the expense of the house.
On the other hand, I will be building equity in the home and he will not. However, I did put down $60K of my own money when I purchased the house.
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: My [30 F] boyfriend [25 M] of 14 months, we are considering moving in together in a home that I own. What's the best way to split expenses?\n\nPOST: My boyfriend and I are discussing moving in together in the fall when his lease is up. We've been together for just over a year.\n\nWe both make a similar salary. He makes about $2K more than I do. We have been discussing how to share expenses and split the bills. We are both open to communication and discussion on this life change.\n\nExpect is a strong word here, but I would expect this would be a landlord-tenant style relationship in the sense that I would cover all household expenses related to home maintenance. Plumbing, electrical, roofing, appliances ... If anything breaks, then that's on me. With regards to bills we both contribute to (water, electricity, internet, etc), I'd expect to split those down the middle. With regards to the monthly payment, I'd also expect to split that down the middle. The reason for that is that it's a reasonable amount that's about equivalent to his current apartment rent. If we were to find a place to rent together, the expectation would be that we'd split a rent payment 50/50. I see the house as a shared space so I think it's reasonable that we share the expense of the house.\n\nOn the other hand, I will be building equity in the home and he will not. However, I did put down $60K of my own money when I purchased the house.\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Boyfriend and I are considering moving into the home I own. We have almost identical salaries. What is reasonable for splitting the expenses?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_4le58z | relationships | My [30 F] boyfriend [25 M] of 14 months, we are considering moving in together in a home that I own. What's the best way to split expenses? | My boyfriend and I are discussing moving in together in the fall when his lease is up. We've been together for just over a year.
We both make a similar salary. He makes about $2K more than I do. We have been discussing how to share expenses and split the bills. We are both open to communication and discussion on this life change.
Expect is a strong word here, but I would expect this would be a landlord-tenant style relationship in the sense that I would cover all household expenses related to home maintenance. Plumbing, electrical, roofing, appliances ... If anything breaks, then that's on me. With regards to bills we both contribute to (water, electricity, internet, etc), I'd expect to split those down the middle. With regards to the monthly payment, I'd also expect to split that down the middle. The reason for that is that it's a reasonable amount that's about equivalent to his current apartment rent. If we were to find a place to rent together, the expectation would be that we'd split a rent payment 50/50. I see the house as a shared space so I think it's reasonable that we share the expense of the house.
On the other hand, I will be building equity in the home and he will not. However, I did put down $60K of my own money when I purchased the house. | Boyfriend and I are considering moving into the home I own. We have almost identical salaries. What is reasonable for splitting the expenses? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20/F] having trouble with boyfriend [23/m] of 2.5 years sex drive
POST: My boyfriend and I have an amazing sex life. We are very sexually compatible.
Although, his sex drive is crazy high compared to mine. It really depends on the time of month for me [hormones], sometimes I'll be down to go 3 times a day and sometimes I'm only interested in once a week.
I'm asking for advice because I have a hard time denying him without him feeling rejected by me. For example, every time we cuddle he is almost always coming on to me. At night he comes on to me, in the middle of the night he masturbates next to me, and tries to come onto me in the morning. I'm utterly flattered that after being in a relationship this long he is still very turned on by me, but sometimes it is very overwhelming to keep up with his sexual needs.
I've been trying more to just give him a HJ or BJ if he is really frisky and I'm not, but sometimes I really am just emotionally drained from life and just want to be cuddled. I've explained this to him several times and he gets very frustrated and defensive and states he doesn't feel like I want to please him....which is not the case at all. I can see how sometimes he would feel this way because when he asks sometimes my "tone" may come across annoyed or uninterested. I don't want him to feel this way and it has been a problem for a while now.
I want to learn how to approach his needs better without him feeling rejected, and I want us both to be happy.
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: Me [20/F] having trouble with boyfriend [23/m] of 2.5 years sex drive\n\nPOST: My boyfriend and I have an amazing sex life. We are very sexually compatible.\n\nAlthough, his sex drive is crazy high compared to mine. It really depends on the time of month for me [hormones], sometimes I'll be down to go 3 times a day and sometimes I'm only interested in once a week. \n\nI'm asking for advice because I have a hard time denying him without him feeling rejected by me. For example, every time we cuddle he is almost always coming on to me. At night he comes on to me, in the middle of the night he masturbates next to me, and tries to come onto me in the morning. I'm utterly flattered that after being in a relationship this long he is still very turned on by me, but sometimes it is very overwhelming to keep up with his sexual needs. \n\nI've been trying more to just give him a HJ or BJ if he is really frisky and I'm not, but sometimes I really am just emotionally drained from life and just want to be cuddled. I've explained this to him several times and he gets very frustrated and defensive and states he doesn't feel like I want to please him....which is not the case at all. I can see how sometimes he would feel this way because when he asks sometimes my \"tone\" may come across annoyed or uninterested. I don't want him to feel this way and it has been a problem for a while now. \nI want to learn how to approach his needs better without him feeling rejected, and I want us both to be happy.\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "how do I deny sex with my boyfriend of 2.5 years without him feeling like I don't want to please him?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_4gbnkb | relationships | Me [20/F] having trouble with boyfriend [23/m] of 2.5 years sex drive | My boyfriend and I have an amazing sex life. We are very sexually compatible.
Although, his sex drive is crazy high compared to mine. It really depends on the time of month for me [hormones], sometimes I'll be down to go 3 times a day and sometimes I'm only interested in once a week.
I'm asking for advice because I have a hard time denying him without him feeling rejected by me. For example, every time we cuddle he is almost always coming on to me. At night he comes on to me, in the middle of the night he masturbates next to me, and tries to come onto me in the morning. I'm utterly flattered that after being in a relationship this long he is still very turned on by me, but sometimes it is very overwhelming to keep up with his sexual needs.
I've been trying more to just give him a HJ or BJ if he is really frisky and I'm not, but sometimes I really am just emotionally drained from life and just want to be cuddled. I've explained this to him several times and he gets very frustrated and defensive and states he doesn't feel like I want to please him....which is not the case at all. I can see how sometimes he would feel this way because when he asks sometimes my "tone" may come across annoyed or uninterested. I don't want him to feel this way and it has been a problem for a while now.
I want to learn how to approach his needs better without him feeling rejected, and I want us both to be happy. | how do I deny sex with my boyfriend of 2.5 years without him feeling like I don't want to please him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend (age 22) of 5 months can't handle how many sexual partners I (female - age 23) have had.
POST: I've been with 29 other people, and he brings it up almost every day. I've also had a threesome, which he talks about constantly. He feels like he can't please me sexually (even though I always tell him that isn't so. He is one of the only people I've been to orgasm with, and it's the best sex I've ever had) because I've had so many partners who HE thinks I liked more than him.
We have long discussions on this topic (which turn into arguments) at least once a week. It's so frustrating. He constantly wants to look at my facebook messages because he thinks I must be cheating on him. He doesn't believe that I can want to be in a relationship after sleeping with so many people. I'm not sure how I can get this through his head or if it's even possible. This hasn't just started either; it's been going on basically since the beginning of the relationship.
I'm just not sure what to do. The relationship would be perfect if it weren't for his jealousy and insecurity. I am just not sure if these things can be changed. When we're not talking about this stuff, we have a good relationship. These conversations make me SO angry though! He always threatens to break up with me, says I'm not showing him enough attention in public (wtf?), says that we don't have enough sex (twice a day isn't enough?), says that I don't do enough for him...and then he starts talking about the past again and all the people I slept with. He wants me to delete pictures of past exes on facebook because he doesn't want to see me having fun with other guys. What the hell?
There are just so many red flags, and I KNOW this. I know I should probably break up with him. It makes me mad even typing all this stuff out. I guess I just needed to vent, really.... I haven't told anyone else about this because I don't have many friends.
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: My boyfriend (age 22) of 5 months can't handle how many sexual partners I (female - age 23) have had.\n\nPOST: I've been with 29 other people, and he brings it up almost every day. I've also had a threesome, which he talks about constantly. He feels like he can't please me sexually (even though I always tell him that isn't so. He is one of the only people I've been to orgasm with, and it's the best sex I've ever had) because I've had so many partners who HE thinks I liked more than him. \n\nWe have long discussions on this topic (which turn into arguments) at least once a week. It's so frustrating. He constantly wants to look at my facebook messages because he thinks I must be cheating on him. He doesn't believe that I can want to be in a relationship after sleeping with so many people. I'm not sure how I can get this through his head or if it's even possible. This hasn't just started either; it's been going on basically since the beginning of the relationship. \n\nI'm just not sure what to do. The relationship would be perfect if it weren't for his jealousy and insecurity. I am just not sure if these things can be changed. When we're not talking about this stuff, we have a good relationship. These conversations make me SO angry though! He always threatens to break up with me, says I'm not showing him enough attention in public (wtf?), says that we don't have enough sex (twice a day isn't enough?), says that I don't do enough for him...and then he starts talking about the past again and all the people I slept with. He wants me to delete pictures of past exes on facebook because he doesn't want to see me having fun with other guys. What the hell?\n\nThere are just so many red flags, and I KNOW this. I know I should probably break up with him. It makes me mad even typing all this stuff out. I guess I just needed to vent, really.... I haven't told anyone else about this because I don't have many friends.\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Dating a crazy guy who thinks I don't pay enough attention to him and can't handle the fact that I've slept with so many people. I should break up with him, right?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_2e8zan | relationships | My boyfriend (age 22) of 5 months can't handle how many sexual partners I (female - age 23) have had. | I've been with 29 other people, and he brings it up almost every day. I've also had a threesome, which he talks about constantly. He feels like he can't please me sexually (even though I always tell him that isn't so. He is one of the only people I've been to orgasm with, and it's the best sex I've ever had) because I've had so many partners who HE thinks I liked more than him.
We have long discussions on this topic (which turn into arguments) at least once a week. It's so frustrating. He constantly wants to look at my facebook messages because he thinks I must be cheating on him. He doesn't believe that I can want to be in a relationship after sleeping with so many people. I'm not sure how I can get this through his head or if it's even possible. This hasn't just started either; it's been going on basically since the beginning of the relationship.
I'm just not sure what to do. The relationship would be perfect if it weren't for his jealousy and insecurity. I am just not sure if these things can be changed. When we're not talking about this stuff, we have a good relationship. These conversations make me SO angry though! He always threatens to break up with me, says I'm not showing him enough attention in public (wtf?), says that we don't have enough sex (twice a day isn't enough?), says that I don't do enough for him...and then he starts talking about the past again and all the people I slept with. He wants me to delete pictures of past exes on facebook because he doesn't want to see me having fun with other guys. What the hell?
There are just so many red flags, and I KNOW this. I know I should probably break up with him. It makes me mad even typing all this stuff out. I guess I just needed to vent, really.... I haven't told anyone else about this because I don't have many friends. | Dating a crazy guy who thinks I don't pay enough attention to him and can't handle the fact that I've slept with so many people. I should break up with him, right? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [19F] get my boyfriend [21M] of 4 months to feel more attractive?
POST: (Throwaway account)
My boyfriend and I have been official for almost 4 months, but have been close friends for the past year (it was a pretty seamless friends -> friends with benefits -> relationship transition). He is very, very attractive. I say this not only because I love him and of course I would think that, but also simply in general. He's just a seriously good-looking person and many other people have agreed with me.
He doesn't seem to see it though. He tells me that he believes I find him attractive, but doesn't necessarily agree or think he is all that great looking. He has good self-esteem in general, but I just sincerely want him to find himself as attractive as other people find him. I tell him how hot he is and mention specific things I find attractive about him. I'm wondering if there is anything else I could do or say to help this.
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: How do I [19F] get my boyfriend [21M] of 4 months to feel more attractive?\n\nPOST: (Throwaway account)\n\nMy boyfriend and I have been official for almost 4 months, but have been close friends for the past year (it was a pretty seamless friends -> friends with benefits -> relationship transition). He is very, very attractive. I say this not only because I love him and of course I would think that, but also simply in general. He's just a seriously good-looking person and many other people have agreed with me. \n\nHe doesn't seem to see it though. He tells me that he believes I find him attractive, but doesn't necessarily agree or think he is all that great looking. He has good self-esteem in general, but I just sincerely want him to find himself as attractive as other people find him. I tell him how hot he is and mention specific things I find attractive about him. I'm wondering if there is anything else I could do or say to help this.\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Boyfriend doesn't think of himself as very attractive - how do I get him to see himself the way I see him?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_2bzh12 | relationships | How do I [19F] get my boyfriend [21M] of 4 months to feel more attractive? | (Throwaway account)
My boyfriend and I have been official for almost 4 months, but have been close friends for the past year (it was a pretty seamless friends -> friends with benefits -> relationship transition). He is very, very attractive. I say this not only because I love him and of course I would think that, but also simply in general. He's just a seriously good-looking person and many other people have agreed with me.
He doesn't seem to see it though. He tells me that he believes I find him attractive, but doesn't necessarily agree or think he is all that great looking. He has good self-esteem in general, but I just sincerely want him to find himself as attractive as other people find him. I tell him how hot he is and mention specific things I find attractive about him. I'm wondering if there is anything else I could do or say to help this. | Boyfriend doesn't think of himself as very attractive - how do I get him to see himself the way I see him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [15 F] don't want my boyfriend [16 M] to think I'm cheating on him
POST: We've been together for about a year and I've made a new male friend (lets call him John) recently. Most of my friends are guys, so my boyfriend has gotten accustomed to it as far as I know. However, I spend a lot of time with John, and it's not because I'm interested in John romantically or anything. I've become John's support for a very serious problem he's been having, so I see him every other day at lunch, and if both my boyfriend and him are at a social event (they hardly know each other) I try to balance time for both of them.
However, for confidentiality, I don't tell my boyfriend why I'm leaving or where I go, although he knows who I'm with. I know he trusts me but if I were in his position, it would be easy to be at least a tad suspicious. I don't want my boyfriend to think I'm cheating on him or losing interest in him, but at the same time, I know I desperately need to be there for John. What should I do?
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: I [15 F] don't want my boyfriend [16 M] to think I'm cheating on him\n\nPOST: We've been together for about a year and I've made a new male friend (lets call him John) recently. Most of my friends are guys, so my boyfriend has gotten accustomed to it as far as I know. However, I spend a lot of time with John, and it's not because I'm interested in John romantically or anything. I've become John's support for a very serious problem he's been having, so I see him every other day at lunch, and if both my boyfriend and him are at a social event (they hardly know each other) I try to balance time for both of them.\n\nHowever, for confidentiality, I don't tell my boyfriend why I'm leaving or where I go, although he knows who I'm with. I know he trusts me but if I were in his position, it would be easy to be at least a tad suspicious. I don't want my boyfriend to think I'm cheating on him or losing interest in him, but at the same time, I know I desperately need to be there for John. What should I do?\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Hang out with new male friend who needs my help very often, don't want boyfriend getting the wrong idea, but can't tell him why I'm gone",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_2n1rcv | relationships | I [15 F] don't want my boyfriend [16 M] to think I'm cheating on him | We've been together for about a year and I've made a new male friend (lets call him John) recently. Most of my friends are guys, so my boyfriend has gotten accustomed to it as far as I know. However, I spend a lot of time with John, and it's not because I'm interested in John romantically or anything. I've become John's support for a very serious problem he's been having, so I see him every other day at lunch, and if both my boyfriend and him are at a social event (they hardly know each other) I try to balance time for both of them.
However, for confidentiality, I don't tell my boyfriend why I'm leaving or where I go, although he knows who I'm with. I know he trusts me but if I were in his position, it would be easy to be at least a tad suspicious. I don't want my boyfriend to think I'm cheating on him or losing interest in him, but at the same time, I know I desperately need to be there for John. What should I do? | Hang out with new male friend who needs my help very often, don't want boyfriend getting the wrong idea, but can't tell him why I'm gone |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [27 M] met an amazing girl [29 F], but my superficial prejudices could screw it up.
POST: I went on an online date with an amazing girl. She's smart, funny, and we just had chemistry. I've been on many online dates, and the awkward silence during certain bits of the date is just par for the course. This date was different. We always had something to talk about, and more over we were on the same page. We'd even say the same thing at the same time - it was surreal.
This girl is also beautiful. She was a bit heavier than her pictures, but this is something I've come to expect from online dating, and I didn't really mind.
Date 2 was great too. More of that awesome chemistry, more of that great conversation. Then the clothes started coming off, and I don't know why, but she was just a lot heavier than I thought under the clothes. I don't know if she was much bigger than I thought, but her bodyfat ratio was high, and she didn't wear the fat well.
I am very attracted to her when she's clothed, but I have to admit I became less attracted after she got naked. I hate that I even have to say it because our chemistry is so perfect, and she has a very pretty face even.
So now I'm in conflict. I am thinking I want to hang out with her at least one more time to see if I can get over this, but I don't want to lead her on. I hate that my superficial prejudices could screw up an amazing connection like this. What should I do?
TL;DR: | [
{
"content": "SUBREDDIT: r/relationships\n\nTITLE: I [27 M] met an amazing girl [29 F], but my superficial prejudices could screw it up.\n\nPOST: I went on an online date with an amazing girl. She's smart, funny, and we just had chemistry. I've been on many online dates, and the awkward silence during certain bits of the date is just par for the course. This date was different. We always had something to talk about, and more over we were on the same page. We'd even say the same thing at the same time - it was surreal.\n\nThis girl is also beautiful. She was a bit heavier than her pictures, but this is something I've come to expect from online dating, and I didn't really mind.\n\nDate 2 was great too. More of that awesome chemistry, more of that great conversation. Then the clothes started coming off, and I don't know why, but she was just a lot heavier than I thought under the clothes. I don't know if she was much bigger than I thought, but her bodyfat ratio was high, and she didn't wear the fat well.\n\nI am very attracted to her when she's clothed, but I have to admit I became less attracted after she got naked. I hate that I even have to say it because our chemistry is so perfect, and she has a very pretty face even.\n\nSo now I'm in conflict. I am thinking I want to hang out with her at least one more time to see if I can get over this, but I don't want to lead her on. I hate that my superficial prejudices could screw up an amazing connection like this. What should I do?\n\nTL;DR:",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Met an amazing girl. Had an amazing connection. Problem is she looks better with clothes on than off. I'm in conflict about how to proceed.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | t3_4bvotl | relationships | I [27 M] met an amazing girl [29 F], but my superficial prejudices could screw it up. | I went on an online date with an amazing girl. She's smart, funny, and we just had chemistry. I've been on many online dates, and the awkward silence during certain bits of the date is just par for the course. This date was different. We always had something to talk about, and more over we were on the same page. We'd even say the same thing at the same time - it was surreal.
This girl is also beautiful. She was a bit heavier than her pictures, but this is something I've come to expect from online dating, and I didn't really mind.
Date 2 was great too. More of that awesome chemistry, more of that great conversation. Then the clothes started coming off, and I don't know why, but she was just a lot heavier than I thought under the clothes. I don't know if she was much bigger than I thought, but her bodyfat ratio was high, and she didn't wear the fat well.
I am very attracted to her when she's clothed, but I have to admit I became less attracted after she got naked. I hate that I even have to say it because our chemistry is so perfect, and she has a very pretty face even.
So now I'm in conflict. I am thinking I want to hang out with her at least one more time to see if I can get over this, but I don't want to lead her on. I hate that my superficial prejudices could screw up an amazing connection like this. What should I do? | Met an amazing girl. Had an amazing connection. Problem is she looks better with clothes on than off. I'm in conflict about how to proceed. |
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