Datasets:

vietgpt

/

the_pile_openwebtext2

like 1

Boy, 15, wins curfew legal battle

Richmond Council says the curfews do help cut anti-social behaviour The teenager said the use of dispersal zones in Richmond, south-west London, breached his rights under the European Convention on Human Rights. Unaccompanied under-16s found in zones after 9pm can be held and escorted home, whether badly behaved or not. The Home Office said it would be appealing against the ruling. The police and Richmond Council had argued that curfew zones reduced anti-social behaviour. The High Court ruled that the law did not give the police a power of arrest, and officers could not force someone to come with them. ... They shouldn't be allowed to treat me like a criminal just because I'm under 16 Teenager known as "W" Curfews 'demonise young' One area's fight for order Lord Justice Brooke said: "... All of us have the right to walk the streets without interference from police constables or CSOs unless they possess common law or statutory powers to stop us. "If Parliament considered that such a power was needed, it should have said so, and identified the circumstances in which it intended the power to be exercised." In a statement after the ruling the boy, known in the case as "W" and described as a "model student", said: "Of course I have no problem with being stopped by the police if I've done something wrong. "But they shouldn't be allowed to treat me like a criminal just because I'm under 16. "I am very happy with the outcome it is a good victory. I'm glad that the police can't just use force against us anymore. "I am happy that I won't get into trouble with the police just for being young." These powers provide the police with a powerful tool to tackle intimidation and anti-social behaviour by groups of people Home Office spokeswoman Q&A: Teenage curfews BBC Home Affairs correspondent Rory McLean said the test case ruling had major implications for the government's anti-social behaviour policy and may require legislation in order to deal with the issue. A Home Office spokeswoman said dispersal zones already in place and future applications were unaffected by the judgment. "These powers provide the police with a powerful tool to tackle intimidation and anti-social behaviour by groups of people," she said. "Whilst not limited to young people, 'teenagers hanging around' is a big cause of concern to the public as cited in the British Crime Survey." HAVE YOUR SAY What about law abiding citizen's human rights? Pauline Yates, Suffolk Send us your comments During the case heard in May, Javan Herberg, appearing for the teenager, said the curfew zones violated the human rights of "wholly innocent" young people. He told the court that more than 400 zones had been introduced under the 2003 Anti-Social Behaviour Act. While this case involved Richmond, its implications could be much wider, he said. The Home Office, backed by lawyers for the police and council, argued the application for judicial review should be dismissed and said the zones did not breach human rights or common law. They said the 15-year-old could not bring the claim because he had never been stopped by police inside a dispersal area. The boy was backed by civil rights group Liberty. Alex Gask, Liberty's legal Officer acting for "W", said: "This is a victory for the presumption of innocence, and the right of everyone, no matter what their age, not to be subjected to coercive powers without good cause".

Are Digital Music Fans Going Legit?

The number of legal music downloads tripled internationally in the first half of 2005, according to an international music industry trade association. In a report released Thursday, the International Federation of the Phonographic Industry (IFPI) declared consumer attitudes toward illegal music file-sharing to be changing, as legal music-buying alternatives gain further strength. "The number of legal tracks downloaded internationally tripled to 180 million in the first half of 2005," the IFPI said, with surging broadband use acting to help the industry. Infringing music files available on file-sharing networks and sites rose slightly (3 percent) from 870 million in January to 900 million, while broadband lines installed grew four times faster at 13 percent. A study released last month in the U.S. reported a similar jump in legit services, but noted that digital music is still widely swapped online. Legal Tunes Jump Legal music downloads in the first six months of 2005 in the U.S., the U.K., Germany, and France outstripped the total for the whole of last year. Single track downloads in these markets have risen to 180 million in the first half of 2005 compared to 157 million for the whole of 2004. This is more than three times the 57 million downloads of the first half of 2004. In the U.S., legal music downloads are estimated to have grown from 55 million in the first half of 2004 to 159 million tracks in the first half of 2005. In the U.K., single-track downloads in the first half of 2005 were up tenfold on the same period of 2004, at just over 10 million. Subscriptions services have gained a little ground, with 2.2 million people now subscribed to music services globally. The number of legitimate download sites has tripled--more than 300 digital sites now exist worldwide. Attitude Change "We are now seeing real evidence that people are increasingly put off by illegal file-sharing and turning to legal ways of enjoying music online," said John Kennedy, IFPI chair and CEO. "Whether it's the fear of getting caught breaking the law, or the realization that many networks could damage your home PC, attitudes are changing, and that is good news for the whole music industry." Well-publicized legal actions have had an effect, the IFPI said, with one in three file-sharers ceasing the practice out of fear of such action. Kennedy offered a sharp warning to file-sharers: "We are not there yet. Many still appear to be gripped by a bad habit they are finding hard to break. This is despite all the public warnings and information campaigns about digital music that have been organized in the last year. These people are now increasingly likely to face legal actions against them. They are ordinary men and women in ordinary occupations--doctors, students, teachers, cooks, nurses, and even a judge. But they are having to learn the hard way that the price for file-sharing illegally can be as a high as a fine of several thousand euros." Since September 2003 the industry has engaged in 14,227 actions against file-sharers in 12 countries. Fines are averaging $3508. The report describes convicted file-sharers as "Predominantly city-dwelling men aged 20 to 35 from all walks of life--in occupations from company directors to car salesmen and teachers to lorry-drivers." This story, "Are Digital Music Fans Going Legit?" was originally published by Macworld .

Streaming Video In the Sky

Wi-Fi on airplanes just got a lot more entertaining. Boeing this week launched a streaming television delivered straight to your laptop as part of its Connexion by Boeing high-speed Internet service. The video service will debut on Singapore Airlines, and lets passengers watch CNBC, BBC, Eurosport News, and either MSNBC (if you're flying in the United States) or Euronews (if you're abroad). "You haven't seen much in major capital investments since 9/11," says Jack Evans, spokesperson for the Air Transport Association. "Some airlines are still dealing with the bare essentials of survival." How It Works Once the streaming video service is set up, you can expect DSL-like speeds, says Tim Vinopal, director of service delivery engineering. Maximum throughput to the plane is 20 megabits per second, which Vinopal says translates to a passenger average of 150 to 200 kilobits per second. On our test flight, speeds felt pokier than DSL but not painful. Television streaming, which plays off of the Connexion by Boeing home page, was definitely jumpy--my MSNBC and BBC video feeds were a bit stop and go--but audio was fluid and clear. E-mail and instant messaging worked fine, and you could even log in to corporate networks via VPN. Although some other people onboard had no problem logging on to the service, the wireless card in my laptop refused to redirect to the Connexion IP address. Rebooting my wireless didn't work--it took one of Boeing's tech experts and some command-line magic to address the issue. Another passenger had difficulties connecting due to interference with his VPN client. That's a main problem with in-air broadband: Random glitches can occur, and an SAS flight isn't going to have experts who can help you troubleshoot. Boeing spokespeople say that flight attendants may be able to reach tech support through VoIP phones or text chat on their own Internet-connected machines--but such systems aren't standard. Other Players While Boeing's Connexion is the most complete service to date, other companies are also in the game. Switzerland-based OnAir--a joint venture including Boeing rival Airbus--is using satellite to offer a more-limited selection of services, including in-seat Short Message Service (SMS) and proxy access to Web-based e-mail and instant messaging. OnAir plans to add a live IP service by 2007 that will give passengers full Web browsing and VPN capabilities. Meanwhile, companies like Verizon Airfone, makers of seatback phones, are working on a terrestrial solution that links a plane's access point to ground stations. The air-to-ground connection would use the 4-MHz spectrum that air phones currently use. According to Verizon Airfone president Bill Pallone, the FCC will be auctioning off that spectrum by March 2006, after which companies can deploy their Wi-Fi systems. Pallone hopes to see this technology in the air by March 2007. Unlike satellite technology, though, air-to-ground isn't suitable for overseas travel. Since ground towers have a radius of about 150 to 200 miles, the technology wouldn't work, for example, over the Atlantic. Pallone says the technology is intended for flights that operate within North America. What People Want So is this what consumers want? According to a December report published by market research firm In-Stat, 44 percent of those surveyed said that they would be interested in Wi-Fi on airplanes. "People are willing to pay something, but they're not willing to pay a lot," says Allen Nogee, principal analyst at In-Stat. However, he points out, business users can usually expense the charge. Business traveler Jen Martin would like to see more Wi-Fi on planes. "A 9-plus-hour flight means I'm usually a day behind on e-mail already. The ability to conduct business during a long-haul flight seems like a no-brainer." Not everyone is excited about the prospect, though. As business traveler Chris Charla puts it, "If you give me Wi-Fi, I will have to work. The airplane is the last place I can actually read a book during the day without guilt."

Apple making big inroads in business with OS X

Apple Computer’s UNIX-based Mac OS X operating system is making inroads in the business community, according to a report by market research firm Jupiter Research. The report tracks desktop and server operating systems in medium to large sized business. The report found that 17 percent of businesses with 250 employees or more were running Mac OS X on their desktop computers. Twenty-one percent of businesses that had 10,000 or more employees used Mac OS X on their desktop. Mac OS X Server is also doing well with businesses. Nine percent of companies with 250 employees or more used Mac OS X Server, while 14 percent of companies with 10,000 employees or more used Apple’s Server software. Due reporting techniques, comparisons to where Mac OS X was last year at this time were not available. However, Jupiter Research Senior Analyst and author of the report, Joe Wilcox, characterized the numbers as significant for Apple. “What we are seeing is Mac OS X taking share away from traditional UNIX installations,” Wilcox told MacCentral. In some cases, OS X is taking share away from Windows, as well.” Wilcox explained that large businesses with expensive UNIX systems are opting for Mac OS X when they upgrade for a variety of reasons. OS X is winning out over Linux in some cases as well, said Wilcox because these businesses would already have UNIX expertise on staff; OS X has a good stable of server applications and it can run traditional UNIX apps; and OS X is more viable as a desktop platform. Jupiter also sees opportunities for Apple with companies that currently run a UNIX and Windows combination. With Mac OS X’s UNIX underpinnings, companies can use Apple’s operating system to replace the other two. Microsoft’s Windows Server operating system saw a marginal decrease in installed base this year, according to the report. Wilcox said it was too early to gauge reaction to Apple’s recent announcement that it intends to switch to Intel-based systems next year. While cost will be definitely be a factor, Jupiter’s Wilcox said that is not always the largest cost center. “With a lot of these systems the biggest cost is software, not hardware,” said Wilcox. Linux users also represent a big pool of potential switchers, according to the report. “I’m surprised to see just how much Mac OS X has captured the interest of potential Linux switchers,” said Wilcox. “Companies that were considering Linux are now buying Mac OS X instead.” Update Clarified the percentage of companies using Mac OS X client. This story, "Apple making big inroads in business with OS X" was originally published by PCWorld .

Virtual Street Reality

Julian Beever is an English artist who is famous for his art on the pavements of England, France, Germany, USA, Australia and Belgium. Its peculiarity? Beever gives his drawings an anamorphosis view, his images are drawn in such a way which gives them three dimensionality when viewing from the correct angle. It's amazing !!!

Translations that are Marketing Mistakes

Body Bags 2006-03-05 Almost as good as the confusion among English speakers over the term Fanny Pack, is the humor raised by the German equivalent for knapsack. Companies often use or "borrow" words from other languages to give their product names a certain cachet. Sometimes their choices are a bit odd. German makers of knapsacks refer to them as "Body Bags". Vielen Danke to Marc Tobias for this item. CBS 60 Minutes New! 2006-02-25 I use an interpreter from time to time, so I know how difficult the job is. The following Translator Mistake is reported on October 6, 2000 on the CBS News Web Site among other places. Look for the side bar on "Lost In Translation". (Which has not got to be one of the most overused, unclever, cliche headings in the past few years. Strike it from the language along with "without further ado".) 60 Minutes' Mike Wallace, known for his tough interviewing style, drew a sharp rebute from Boris Yeltsin - thanks to a translator's error. The confusion arose when Wallace asked Yeltsin if he had a "thin skin" when it came to public criticism, but the translation had Wallace describing Yeltsin as a "thick-skinned hippopotamus." Yeltsin was not amused. "An experienced journalist like yourself," Yeltsin said, "should express himself in a more civilized fashion. But this may be the translator's fault, and if so, he is the hippopotamus!" Thanks to KKWolf Orange New! 2006-02-16 During its 1994 launch campaign, the telecom company Orange had to change its ads in Northern Ireland. " The future's bright … the future's Orange. " That campaign is an advertising legend. However, in the North the term Orange suggests the Orange Order . The implied message that the future is bright, the future is Protestant, loyalist... didn't sit well with the Catholic Irish population. Thanks to Janet O'Sullivan GPT New! 2006-02-18 In 1988, the General Electric Company (GEC) and Plessey combined to create a new telecommunications giant. A brand name was desired that evoked technology and innovation. The winning proposal was GPT for GEC-Plessey Telecommunications. A not very innovative name and not suggestive of technology and a total disaster for European branding. GPT is pronounced in French as “J’ai pété” or “I've farted”. Thanks to Jem Shaw! Life Fitness New! 2006-01-24 Life Fitness is a maker of exercise equipment, bikes, ski machines etc. Their logo made me laugh. I was walking around the exercise room to stretch my legs after some strenuous biking when I first noticed it. At first I thought it said “4F”. Now, for those of you that don't know, the American military, when there was a draft, had a rating for recruits. If you were “1A”, you were healthy and fit for duty. “4F” is the code for those that are physically unfit and unacceptable to the army. So “4F” was a rather inappropriate logo for a health fitness machine. It took me about a minute to realize it wasn't “4F”, but “LF” the initials for LifeFitness. Waterpik 2004-12-24 Waterpik uses another name in Denmark. "Pik" is the common Danish word for male genitals. Most Danes can easily translate "water" to the danish word "vand". And "vandpik" is a term for the morning erection. "And you put that thing in your mouth?!?!" Thanks to Jørgen Lykkebo! PepsiCo India 2004-10-06 I was visiting Bangalore, India when the local news (for example, rediff india) was widely reporting the legal consequences of a marketing mistake by Pepsi. Pepsi is being sued in a Hyderabad, India city court in a public interest litigation for glorifying child labor in a television ad. In the ad, the Indian cricket team is in a celebratory huddle when a young boy serves them Pepsi. Binney & Smith Crayola 2004-11-06 Crayola has changed color names over time due to the civil rights movement and other social pressures. In 1962, Binney & Smith replaced flesh with peach, in recognition of the wide variety of skin tones. More recently, in 1999, they changed indian red to chestnut. The color was not named after Native Americans, it was actually named for a special pigment that came from India. But school children often assumed the incorrect origin of the name. There are many sites listing the history of Crayola colors, including Crayola's own history page. Panasonic 2004-05-13 According to the EE Times, October 8, 1996 (and numerous web sites), Matsushita Electric was promoting a Japanese PC for internet users. It came with a Japanese Web browser courtesy of Panasonic. Panasonic had licensed the cartoon character "Woody Woodpecker" as the "Internet guide." The day before a huge marketing campaign was to begin, Panasonic stopped the product launch. The reason: the ads featured the slogan "Touch Woody - The Internet Pecker." An American at the internal product launch explained to the stunned and embarrassed Japanese what "touch woody" and "pecker" meant in American slang. Thanks to A. Vine for pointing me at this! Port Wallhamn 2004-05-08 Port Wallhamn is a Swedish port. The companies that surround it used to give their employees ties with the logo "W" and an anchor. The combination forms a very nice rebus for Wanker, much to the chagrin of the British workers who had to wear it. Thanks to Hendrik Demol! If someone has a tie and could send me a photo of it, that would be much appreciated! Gerber 2004-05-08 Gerber, the name of the famous baby food maker, is also the French word for vomiting. It becomes a bit limiting when you go global... Gerber is therefore not in France, and although Gerber has a French Canadian web page, it says " Les aliments pour bébés Gerber ne sont disponibles pour l'instant qu'aux États-Unis " (French for: The baby food ain't here, try the U.S.) Thanks to Hendrik Demol! Latte Anyone? 2004-03-16 Latte means milk in Italy. In English, Latte is a coffee-drink. Many folks like to head to Starbucks or other coffee shops to take early morning latte breaks... In Germany, Latte is a well known word for an erection. So, "morning latte" is when you wake up in the morning with an erection! The word "break" means "destroy", so taking that "morning latte break" is destroying that erection. I'll leave the details to your imagination, as well as all the puns on how you take your steaming hot drink. This item is thanks to Jochen Gumpert, a standup guy! Apparently, Germans are amused at American morning television shows called "Morning Latte" and book's like the popular Amanda Hesser's book "Cooking for Mr. Latte"! Yellow Transportation 2004-3-8 Some will think it a mistake. I think it's brilliant. The logo for Yellow Transportation says the name "Yellow" in bold black letters on hey, wait-a-second... that's not yellow! Right it is orange. And orange is all over their trucks, collateral, etc. It's good marketing that stops and makes you take a second look or makes you wonder. Apparently they named the company Yellow, and later sought out the safest color for their trucks. Collaborating with Dupont they came up with " Swamp Holly Orange ". OK, it doesn't take an Einstein to figure out you don't want to rename the company Swamp anything. Nevertheless, I like their commitment to safety while maintaining their identity and having a cool marketing strategy, which goes back to the 1930's. Oh, you wanted mistakes. See the next item. IKEA FARTFULL 2004-3-8 IKEA sells this workbench as the FARTFULL. Although IKEA's web page says FARTFULL is not for sale on the web, I still enjoy recommending it as the perfect gift suggestion for various people. Swedish is a Germanic language, and "Fährt" is German for travel, so I am sure "fartfull" is being used here to suggest mobility, given the desk's wheels and design. Swedish has several words for fart, but one of them is "Fjärt" , which strikes me as close enough that their marketing department knew what it was doing. If even bad press is good public relations, then this is a case of allowing an ill wind to blow some good. Ford Pinto, Ford Corcel Updated! 2004-1-12 Everyone, get out your web erasers! This popular story is debunked. Marcelo de Castro Bastos informs us (and confirmed elsewhere): Ford Pinto (under any name) wasn't ever sold in Brazil, except maybe as a low-volume import. The Ford Corcel was a totally unrelated product, the result of a joint project by the Brazilian subsidiary of Willys Overland and French automaker Renault (Willys used to make Renault cars, like the Dauphine and Gordini, under license in Brazil.) When Ford acquired Willys's Brazilian operation, they inherited the almost-finished project and decided to launch it under their own brand. They MAY have considered to use the "Pinto" brand on it, but saner heads prevailed and decided on the "Corcel" name in order to keep to the "horse" theme Ford seemed to like at the time. The "Pinto" name was never used in Brazil. "Corcel" was a huge success, and remained in production for more than a decade, spawning a station wagon version called "Belina", a second-generation "Corcel II", a luxury version called "Del Rey" and a light pick-up version called "Pampa". In the early eighties, almost the entire production of Ford Brazil's automobile division was comprised of Corcel-related vehicles. DEBUNKED! Ford's Pinto didn't do well in Brazil. Pinto is Brazilian slang for "male genitals". Ford renamed the car the Corcel, which means horse or steed. Note 1: If it were my translation marketing department I would have renamed the car " Dear God, I hope my gas tank doesn't explode! " Note 2: "Pinto" is reported all over the web, along with this story, as meaning "tiny male genitals" or a "man with small genitals". According to Luiz Pryzant, it just refers to "male genitals". SEPR Ersol 2004-1-11 Bill Leahy sends this gem: Saint-Gobain is a large French glass and ceramics company. Their subsidiary, SEPR, invented a material used in the bottom of furnaces that melt glass. The product was named "Ersol" which comes from "Electro Refractaire Sol". Sol is the French word for bottom (of the furnace). Electro Refractaire refers to it being refractory (resists softening at high temperature) and so is made by electrically melting it. A sensible name, until they introduced the product into the United Kingdom. Ersol sounds too close to arsehole! However, when alerted to the language problem the company decided not to change it. Combine the name with the product's bottom position, and you can see why some product descriptions might read inappropriate to the British: "contraction which occur during the solidification process must be carefully controlled, as it affects the homogeneity of the piece, the volume and location of the shrinkage cavity, and the residual stress." That said, I noted several companies named Ersol on the web. Aussie Nads 2004-1-10 Boxes labeled Aussie Nads caught my attention in the local Walgreens. In my limited vocabulary "Aussie" means Australian and "Nads" is colloquial for gonads, in particular testicles. So my first thought was that the box contained the international version of "Rocky Mountain Oysters" or "Prairie Oysters". (Here are some testicle recipes.) But I wasn't in the food aisle. My second thought was that these were replacement parts... After all, I get an e-mail every 15 minutes offering me either viagara or organ extensions, so it's not such an unreasonable conclusion. But the idea that some very macho Australians, no doubt from the Outback, decided they were man enough to sell one of their parts and still have enough left over to make out ok (pun intended) was implausible. Closer inspection of the box reveals that Aussie Nads is a hair removal product. Another well-named product is "Nad's for Men" and don't forget to order "Nad's Wand" the "facial applicator wand". Seems like they are penetrating many new markets and so very soon they will be in a store barely a stone's throw away from you. Glen Thomas points out that there is a well-known greyhound named "nads" in Australia, frequently spurred on by the crowd yelling "Go Nads". Intimidate Dating Service 2004-1-10 Israeli radio and press ran ads for the Intimidate Dating Service. Now you might think that Intimidate tries to match up sadists with masochists. However, Hagit Rozanes informs us that "Intimi" is the Hebrew word for intimate. (Hmmm. Better hope your date speaks Hebrew or you are in for a rough night...) Liebfraumilch Wine 2004-1-10 Several people wrote me about Germany's most exported wine: Liebfraumilch. "Lieb" means "dear" or "beloved" sometimes a reference to "God" or "holy". "Frau" is "woman", and "Milch" is "milk". Hence "beloved woman's milk", also translated as "Milk of the Virgin" or "Milk of Our Lady". E-mails also offered translations of "women love milk", and "loves woman milk". The name comes from its origins in about the 16th century in the vineyards of the Liebfrauenkirche ("Church of Our Lady") in Worms, Germany. (Worms Wine would also have been a Marketing Mistake!) (Read more in the Food Dictionary.) It would probably be a Marketing Mistake for Liebfraumilch to produce a variation of the Got Milk? ads with paintings of a woman's breast and the milk mustache on it, next to their wine bottle. (Maybe pencil in a mustache in this El Greco...) Götzen 2004-1-10 The european hardware store chain "Götzen" opened a mall in Istanbul. "Göt" means "ass" in Turkish. They changed the name to "Tekzen". Thanks to Hakan Turan! Wang Cares 2004-1-10 In the late '70s, the American computer company Wang was puzzled why its British branch refused to use its latest motto "Wang Cares". However, to British ears the motto sounds too close to "wankers". (masturbaters) Thanks to Malcolm Howlett! Opel Ascona 2004-1-10 General motors made a car named "Opel Ascona". This model sold poorly in Galicia, the northwestern region of Spain. In the galician and also portuguese languages, the term is similar to the term for female genitalia. Thanks to Anjo. Inferno Undertaker 2004-1-4 The 1990's saw the emergence of private-owned companies and the re-introduction of cremation in Estonia. Kai Redone reports that during that period an undertaker in Tallinn, Estonia named itself Inferno, causing several raised eyebrows. I didn't see the problem right away. I thought inferno's meaning is "a very intense and uncontrolled fire" or conflagration. However, although that is one sense for the word, inferno's major usage is "hell", "purgatory" or "perdition". I can imagine the advertisement for Inferno: "I am sorry about the loss of your loved one. Where is the funeral, so I can say goodbye to him?" "He's going to burn in the Inferno!" Mitsubishi Starion 2003-12-30 Andrew Harris of Australia writes: "Mitsubishi had a very successful small car called the Colt. They brought out a slightly larger model, but right up to the last minute, couldn't decide on a name for it. The people here were in a last minute conference call to the Japanese execs trying to make a decision when the final word came through that 'Stallion' would be a suitable 'horsey' name to follow Colt. Trouble was, the name wasn't written, but spoken with a thick Japanese accent and the Aussie end were mystified, but duly wrote down 'Starion'. By the time the mistake was realised the badging and ads had been started and it was too late to stop it." It's a great story and Snopes categorizes it as a definite maybe. With so many car names on this page, you have to wonder if these marketing mistakes aren't intentional, owing to the theory that even bad press is allegedly good marketing... I like that Andrew's version attributes the choice of the name to Mitsubishi's "Aussie" management. Many of the reports I receive have a local or localized coloring. The car is of course sold internationally and othe reports (such as in Snopes) attribute the problem due to American (mis-)management. There is probably a U.K. version as well... Nintendo Donkey Kong 2003-12-30 Snopes (and Nintendo) refutes the notion that Nintendo Donkey Kong was originally to be known as Monkey Kong, or that either a smudged fax or a typographic error resulted in the product's actual name. Yamaha Electric Grand Keyboard 2003-12-27 Yamaha had a mistranslation in their assembly instructions for their Electric Grand Keyboard, circa 1993. They should have written "screw" and ended up instead with instructions for the over-21 crowd. (And for consistency, it should have been called a Grand Organ...) Irish Mist Liqueur 2003-12-27 Bad translations using the word "Mist" in Germany keep coming my way. (See Mist Stick and Silver Mist.) D. Fleming reported that Irish Mist didn't do well in Germany either. Other sources claimed it was marketed with the semi-Germanized Irischer Mist, which would translate back to English as Irish dung. (Babelfish translated it kindly as "Irish muck".) (German Customs should just turn "Mist" products back at the border!) Toaplan Zero Wing "All your base are belong to us" 2003-12-24 Toaplan was a video game maker that had a terrible, Japanese-to-English translation of the intro to their Zero Wing game, with great lines like: " Somebody set up us the bomb. " Although the company went out of business, the translation and in particular the line " All your base are belong to us " became a phenomenon crossing from the net into popular culture. Hey, if you are gonna blow it, blow it big! A web search will find plenty of hilarious web pages featuring the line. Here is a history page and an informative news item. Traficante Mineral Water 2003-12-23 Traficante is an Italian brand of mineral water. In Spanish, it means drug dealer. Volkswagen Jetta 2003-12-20 Volkswagen named the sedan version of Golf the Jetta. However, the letter "J" doesn't exist in the Italian alphabet, so Jetta is pronounced "Ietta", which means Misfortune... Thanks to Alberto Malin. Omanko writes: It's true... the letter J don't exist in the Italian alphabet but it is in use a long time. (e.g. There is also an old city called Jesi and Italian names like Jacopo...). The word ietta don't exist in Italian but Jella exists (yes, you write it with the letter J!) and there are two or three words derived from this one, e.g. jettatore/iettatore (evil-eyed man) or jettatura/iettatura (bad luck). In neapolitan dialect Jetta means throw, throw away!!! Jetta has good sales in Italy. 2003-12-23 OK, I received a few confusing if not conflicting mails on this, so I spoke with New England's Italian language translation expert, Laura Bergamini: 'The answer from Omanko is correct. Jetta by itself does not mean anything, nor is it associated with "bad luck" as "jella" is. It is part of words like "jettatore". 'Additionally, ever since it was introduced, the car was marketed with the English pronunciation of "J" so it IS called "jay-tta" by the Italian audience.' OK The word Jetta is meaningless in Italian, and sales are good. Score one for VW Marketing. I would like to say case closed, but in fairness to Alberto and the others that wrote me that "Jettas were bad luck", translationally speaking, there can be regional or dialectical differences, and so it may be more true in some Italian-speaking areas. Also, as with all the entries here, I check for other sources before posting, and did find some other mentions of it. So perhaps it is an urban legend or a case of "You say Jetta, I say Ietta". OK, More mail from Italy. Francesco V. of Calabria writes that Jetta does mean "throw away", not only in Neapolitan dialect, but in southern Italy. Grazie Molto! Hoover Zyklon, Umbro Zyklon, Siemens Zyklon 2003-12-20 Hoover, maker of vacuum cleaners, sells a model on the European market, including Germany, called the Zyklon. Zyklon is the German word for Cyclone, so it is a seemingly sensible choice for a powerful vacuum. However, Zyklon B is the lethal gas used by Nazis in concentration camps. I would think that the name would draw protests, but I see German web sites currently selling the vacuums for less than 200 euro. Perhaps, if readers are aware of either protests or reasons that it is not considered offensive, they will e-mail me. Meanwhile, CNN.com reported on August 28, 2002, that British shoe maker Umbro received many protests for its running shoe the Zyklon. Umbro apologized and renamed it. Apparently, the shoe had been named the Zyklon since 1999, but they had not written the name on the shoe until recently. A week later, BBC News reported that Bosch Siemens Hausgeraete (BSH) was withdrawing its trademark application for the name Zyklon. BSH had filed two applications with the US Patent & Trademark Office for "Zyklon" across a range of home products, including gas ovens. Reed Business News 2003-12-20 A few years back Reed Business News relaunched itself with the branding: " If it's news to you, it's news to us. ". It was replaced after a couple of days... Thanks to Adam Rutherford. Hong Kong Tourist Board 2003-12-20 According to TravelBiz.com.au in April, 2003 the Hong Kong Tourist Board tried to either pull their ads or have their slogan changed. But it was too late to change the campaign that was on billboards throughout Hong Kong and in British versions of Cosmopolitan and Conde Nast Traveller. The slogan that was running "Hong Kong: It will take your breath away." unfortunately coincided with the SARS epidemic that resulted in numerous deaths. Shortness of breath is one of the main symptoms of SARS. (OK, I know it is not a translation mistake, just bad timing, but it caught my attention anyway.) Sharwoods 2003-11-18 MediaGuardian.co.uk reports: Sharwoods £6m campaign to launch its new Bundh sauces received calls immediately from numerous Punjabi speakers. "bundh" sounds like the Punjai word for "arse". Sharwoods has no intention of changing it. "We hope that once they understand the derivation of the Bundh sauce range and taste the delicious meals they can produce, they will agree that it is miles apart from the Punjabi word that is similar but spelled and pronounced differently (with a long "u")." Thanks to Paul Kerins for this. Peanut Chocolate Bars Anyone know the name of the peanut-packed chocolate bar that lost out in the Japanese market because many Asians believe peanuts and chocolate cause nosebleeds? Both peanuts and chocolate (actually caffeine) cause allergic reactions. I didn't find reports on the web of their causing nosebleeds specifically, but I did find pages where individuals are avoiding them to prevent nosebleeds. Also, asian diets are very different from western diets and so tolerances differ. General Motors Buick LaCrosse 2003-10-22 Reuters reports: General Motors Corp. will rename its Buick LaCrosse in Canada because the name for the car is slang for masturbation in Quebec, embarrassed officials with the U.S. automaker said on Thursday. GM officials, who declined to be named, said it had been unaware that LaCrosse was a term for self-gratification among teenagers in French-speaking Quebec. GM officials in Canada are working on a new name for the car... Pizza Hut P'Zone 2003-06-23 Pizza Hut is advertising their new dish, a calzone they named the P'Zone. It is pronounced like " pezón ", the Spanish word for "nipple". Susana says the Pizza Hut PR dept. in Texas told her they knew about this before launching the campaign. Maybe we shouldn't file this under mistakes then, and instead put it under interesting marketing strategies! Muchas gracias to Susana C. Schultz of Strictly Spanish for this report! Honda Fitta/Jazz/Fit 2003-04-06 Car maker Honda introduced their new car "Fitta" in the Nordic countries during 2001, only to find out that "fitta" is an old word, currently used in vulgar language to refer to a woman's genitals in Swedish, Norwegian and Danish. It was renamed to "Honda Jazz" for the Nordic market. According to newspaper articles, Japanese ads said that "[Fitta] is small on the outside, but large on the inside". It's now called the Honda Fit in Japanese markets. My thanks to Peter Karlsson for this report! SEGA 2003-04-05 In Italy "sega" is the unofficial but most popular name for the act of male masturbation. So, the popular videogame makers SEGA Enterprises, attempting to disassociate SEGA from sega, changed the pronunciation to "see-ga" in their ads, as if to educate Italians about proper English (or Japanese?) pronunciation. Many Italians are surprised to learn that SEGA is not pronounced see-ga, but say-ga, outside of Italy. Also alleged, is that when the SEGA-sponsored Arsenal Gunners soccer team was to play the Italian Fiorentina team for the Championship (circa 1999), the Arsenals argued to play the game in the U.K. Apparently, their away flag displays the sponsor prominently and it might inspire, er I mean offend the Italian TV audience. American or Braniff Airlines When American Airlines wanted to advertise its new leather first class seats in the Mexican market, it translated its "Fly In Leather" campaign literally, which meant "Fly Naked" ("vuela en cuero") in Spanish! Some reports say it was Braniff not American. About Spanish Language (part 2) says 'The idiom for "buck naked" is "en cueros", not "en cuero". Even a beginning translator would realize that a word play such as "in leather" might not work in a literal translation.' Interestingly, Castaways Travel of Spring, Texas thought flying naked was a good idea. See these articles: Houston Business Journal: Inaugural flight makes nudes headlines and errtravel.com: Berrly Flying American Motors Matador The Matador did not do well in Puerto Rico where "matador" has the connotation of "killer". (Bull-fighting was abolished on the island more than 100 years ago, when the U.S. took control of Puerto Rico.) Bacardi Pavane/Pavian Popular story these days is that Bacardi marketed a drink called either Pavane, which sounds like Pavian, or it marketed a drink called Pavian. The latter sounds plausible, if they wanted to go after the healthy, aristocratic, pure water drinkers, as it sounds like the brand "Evian". Either name would have given the fruity drink a French mystique. The claim is the Bacardi drink doesn't do well in Germany where "Der Pavian" means "the Baboon" auf Deutsch... Chevy Nova, Vauxhall Nova, Opel Corsa Updated 2004-01-19 When General Motors introduced the Chevrolet (aka Chevy) Nova in South America, it was apparently unaware that "no va" means "it won't go". After the company figured out why it wasn't selling any cars, it renamed the car in its Spanish markets to the Caribe. This one is untrue. For more background on this, see: About Spanish Language (part 1), http://www.urbanlegends.com/products/chevy_nova_mexico.html, http://www.tafkac.org/products/chevy_nova_mexico.html, and http://www.snopes.com/business/misxlate/nova.htm. Steven Marzuola wrote me: "I grew up in Venezuela, and there were Novas all over the place. I have also learned that it did rather well in Mexico. It was not offered in many other countries, for a variety of reasons, but none of them having to do with the name." Steve Checkley informs me that in mainland Europe, the GM car known as the Vauxhall Nova in the United Kingdom, is known as the Opel Corsa. This is true as I have confirmed it elsewhere. The European Novas were launched in 1983. However, the American version ran from 1961 (starting with the 1962 model) through to 1979. The pictures that I have seen of the European Novas don't look like the American Novas. There may have been some similarities under the covers of course. But I think the cars were different generations and probably only related by name. Here is a history of the American Nova and a history of the Vauxhall Nova 1983-1993 For related items, see Vauxhall Nova and Noah's Chevy Nova Clairol Mist Stick Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick". Actually, this is not quite right and confuses the curling iron story with the Rolls Royce Siver Mist example. The German word “Miststück” (pronounced similarly to Mist Stick) is how you might call a woman a bitch or slut. (And now you know what to get your ex-wife for Christmas!) Thanks to Peter Hofer for correcting this. Coca-Cola Fresca In Mexico, Fresca is a term for Lesbian. Jokes abound, but sales weren't hurt. (Despite what you read elsewhere on the web.) There are many fruit drinks named Agua Fresca (fresh water). Coca-Cola, Ke-ke-ken-la, Ko-kou-ko-le The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-ke-ken-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax" depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, "ko-kou-ko-le," which can be loosely translated as "happiness in the mouth." For more background on Coke in China, see: Snopes.com or www.kekoukele.org/kekoukele.htm. Colgate Cue Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno mag. I have received several mails saying that they don't know of a French magazine named Cue. This story goes back to the early '90s so Cue might have existed and gone out of business since then. Others have written that they do know of a magazine named Cul, which is pronounced like cue (e.g. "kyu"). Personally, I don't give this story much credence. However, from the mails I get, a lot of people are out searching for this magazine. If anyone wants to join me in publishing a French porn magazine named Cue, there is a ready market for it! Coors Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose" into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea". Electrolux Vacuum The Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux tried to sell its goods in America but didn't help itself with this slogan, "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux." Ford Comet, Ford Caliente Ford's Comet, was called "Caliente" in Mexico. "Caliente" literally means "hot" (as in temperature), but colloquially it is also used for either "horny" or "prostitute". Ford Cortina Ford's Cortina is translated as "jalopy". Ford Fiera Ford's Fiera doesn't do well with Spanish-speaking Latin-Americans, since "fiera" means "ugly old woman". Gerber Baby Food When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the beautiful Caucasian baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside, since most people can't read. Snopes dismisses the African baby food story as an example of "cultural prejudice". I am a big fan of Snopes, but in this case I am a little disappointed. I don't mind if the story is totally false and completely fabricated, but it would be nice if Snopes offered some evidence such as interviews with someone(s) from Africa, or perhaps a statement from Gerber or other companies selling baby food in Africa, that they continue to market the product with baby pictures on the label. Hmm. OK I'll write to Gerber and see if I can get a statement from them and post the result back here. Hyundai Pony Richard Seamon reports: Hyundai had problems with the Hyundai Pony. In Cockney rhyming slang, "Pony" is short for "pony and trap", meaning crap. It didn't deter Hyundai, they still marketed it in the UK (circa 1982). (Mentioned in Independent.co.uk.) Hunt-Wesson Big John, Gros Jos Hunt-Wesson introduced its Big John products in French Canada as Gros Jos before finding out that the phrase, in slang, means "big breasts". In this case, however, the name problem did not have a noticeable effect on sales. International Wine Glass Symbol Stevadores in an unnamed African port, seeing the international --but evidently not universal!-- symbol for 'fragile' (a wine glass with snapped stem) presumed it meant that some idiot had sent a cargo of broken glass. So they obligingly pitched all the cases overboard into the harbour! (As reported some years ago in Print, the journal for graphic design, and submitted by Margaret Tarbet.) Kentucky Fried Chicken, KFC Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' good" came out as "eat your fingers off." Kinki Nippon Tourist Agency Japan's second-largest tourist agency was mystified when it entered English-speaking markets and began receiving requests for unusual sex tours. Upon finding out why, the owners of Kinki Nippon Tourist Company changed its name. Locum Locum is a Swedish company. In 1991, they sent Christmas cards to all of their customers. They thought they would give their logo a little holiday spirit, by substituting a little heart for the letter "o". For some reason, they also used all lowercase letters. The lowercase "L" can therefore be easily misunderstood to be an "i", and the locum logo looked like one of those "I love ..." bumper stickers, with an unfortunate pornographic sentiment to it. Thanks to Johan Inganni (Sweden) for this entry. John Severinson writes on 2003-11-16: "Actually, it was a paper ad in the largest papers. The image you've got there is a scan from DN (www.dn.se), one of them. And, it was in 2001. Locum shortly afterwards claimed 'they had no idea the ad would send such a message but appreciates that the brand Locum is associated with love and caring'." Mazda Laputa, Laputa: Castle in the Sky, Laputa (1819) Mazda's Laputa seems like an odd name for a minivan. The Mazda Laputa was introduced in Japan in 1991. Spanish speakers immediately think of "puta", the word for prostitute. With that in mind the ads claiming that "Laputa is designed to deliver maximum utility in a minimum space while providing a smooth, comfortable ride" and "a lightweight, impact-absorbing body" are humorous. Distributors in Santiago, Chile asked Mazda to rename the vehicle. Japanese speakers are likely unaware of this meaning and more likely associate "Laputa" with a popular 1986 animated film: "Laputa: Castle in the Sky". However, the film could not be marketed in either Spain or Italy because the word "Laputa" appears onscreen and would offend. These are not the first uses of the word. "Laputa" is referenced in Gulliver's Travels, where author Jonathan Swift wrote that the astronomers of the island Laputa knew about the moons of Mars and European astronomers did not. Meanwhile modern astronomers have named a real asteroid (1819) Laputa. Of course, that leaves the question of who named the asteroid... Was it a fan of Swift's fiction, one of the many that adores Hayao Miyazaki's animated film, a minivan enthusiast, or someone that just had an interesting evening out? Inquiring minds want to know! Thanks to Sokoon for this entry. Milk The Dairy Association's huge success with the campaign "Got Milk?" prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention the Spanish translation read "Are you lactating?" Mitsubishi Pajero, Montero Mitsubishi had to rename its Pajero automobile because the word is a vulgar term for a masturbating man. This story is true, although there was no blunder involved because the car was marketed under a different name from the beginning. In Spanish-speaking countries, this model has been sold as the Montero. Nike Nike has a television commercial for hiking shoes that was shot in Kenya using Samburu tribesmen. The camera closes in on the one tribesman who speaks, in native Maa. As he speaks, the Nike slogan "Just do it" appears on the screen. Lee Cronk, an anthropologist at the University of Cincinnati, says the Kenyan is really saying, "I don't want these. Give me big shoes." Says Nike's Elizabeth Dolan, "We thought nobody in America would know what he said." (From an article in Forbes magazine.) Nike Air Nike offended Muslims in June, 1997 when the "flaming air" logo for its Nike Air sneakers looked too similar to the Arabic form of God's name, "Allah". Nike pulled more than 38,000 pairs of sneakers from the market. Nissan/Mitsubishi Pachero For their series of landcruisers, Nissan Company invented an apparently meaningless word borrowed from the Spanish " pajaro " (bird). They named it "Pachero". This means wanker in South America. Thanks to Arne Schäpers for this submission. According to other sources, e.g. About Spanish Language (part 2) it was Mitsubishi, and the company renamed the car to Montero before marketing it in Spanish-speaking countries in Latin America. Nissan Moco Nissan's minivan Moco doesn't do so well in Spanish-speaking markets. Especially green ones. Distributors in Santiago, Chile asked that the vehicle be renamed since Moco is the Spanish word for mucous. Thanks to Sokoon for this entry. Orange Juice To boost orange juice sales in predominantly continental breakfast eating England, a campaign extolled the drink's eye-opening, pick-me-up qualities with the slogan, "Orange juice. It gets your pecker up." Nicholas Shearer counters "... it's a perfectly good slogan and statement. 'keep your pecker up' is a traditional positive get-up-and-go statement in Britain. Unlike the U.S. 'pecker', it has no other connotations (other than maybe a birds beak). So the statement is perfect for the English market..." I concede, since I don't want to start comparing peckers. Call me chicken but I don't want to have a cock fight over it. Parker Pen, Parker Quink Ink When Parker Pen marketed a ballpoint pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to say "It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you." However, the Spanish word " embarazar " was used by mistake to mean embarrass. The ads actually said: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant." Recent versions of this story claim it was an ad for Parker's Quink Ink. Pepsi In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead." Pepsodent Teeth-Whitening Toothpaste vs. Betel Nut Chewers and Teeth-Blackening Pepsodent's teeth-whitening toothpaste didn't fare well in Southeast Asia where many cultures value chewing Betel Nuts which darkens the teeth. Chewing Betel Nuts is alleged to strengthen teeth (it may have anti-bacterial qualities) and is associated with various rituals and ceremonies (depending on the particular culture and changing over time) including the coming of age of women. Many cultures historically blacken teeth since only savage beasts and evil demons show their white fangs. (Why am I thinking of some marketing folks right now...) In Japan, in the 12th century, blackening was associated with coming of age. Later in the 18th it was associated with nobility and Samurai. In the 19th century, it was used by married woman. ("I can't tonite honey, I have to blacken my teeth.") See the article on ThingsAsian.com by Barbara Cohen on Healthy Black Smiles. The product slogan was racially offensive to some as well- "You'll wonder where the yellow went..." Perdue Chicken Chicken-man Frank Perdue's slogan, "It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken," got terribly mangled in another Spanish translation. A photo of Perdue with one of his birds appeared on billboards all over Mexico with a caption that explained "It takes a hard man to make a chicken aroused." Pope T-shirt An American t-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of the desired "I saw the Pope" in Spanish, the shirts proclaimed "I saw the Potato." Andrew Sheh explains: Capital P "Papa" means "Pope". "papa" means potato. Finally, "papa" with an accent on the last "a" means father. Beardo writes: el Papa (masculine) is the Pope; la papa (feminine) is the potato. VI EL PAPA. VI LA PAPA. Powergenitalia, www.powergenitalia.com No, Powergenitalia is not the company responsible for all that spam offering to help you with organ extensions or to invigorate you with Viagara-powered vitality. It is also not the Italian division of energy giant Powergen. When numerous English-speakers on the web took note of the web site www.powergenitalia.com, Powergen felt obligated to announce that they had no connection with the site and in fact had no Italian offices, so that people would not think that it was their Translation Marketing Mistake. No, they left that distinctive honor to the marketing folks at Powergen Italia, an Italian maker of battery chargers. Perhaps they were shocked to learn its a World Wide Web. The website now switches you over to the more aptly named for English-speakers, http://www.batterychargerpowergen.it. (Reported by many places including Ananova.) Puffs Tissues Puffs tissues allegedly had trouble in Germany due to their name being a colloquial term for a house of ill-repute (prostitution). I always say "Gesundheit" when someone around me sneezes. I am afraid that now when I hand them a tissue, I will be thinking "Gesundheit" means "Thank you for that blow job". If you go to the Puffs website, their pages are very North American-centric, being in English and French only. The Puffs History page mentions their relatively recent (1999) expansion into Canada. Seems unlikely they tried Germany, but maybe if it was a bust they opted not to refer to it anywhere. Rolls Royce Silver Mist, Silver Shadow Rolls Royce changed the name of its car the Silver Mist to the Silver Shadow before entering Germany. In German, "Mist" means manure (to put it nicely). Salem Cigarettes The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, "Salem - Feeling Free," got translated in the Japanese market into "When smoking Salem, you feel so refreshed that your mind seems to be free and empty." Samarin Lars Bergquist tells us: Samarin is a Swedish over-the-counter remedy for upset stomachs. (Like Alka-Seltzer.) A few years back they used ads that looked like comic strips with no text. There were three pictures. The first was a man looking sick, grasping his tummy. On the second picture he drank a glass of Samarin and on the third picture he was smiling again. The ad campaign was a success in Europe. However, when the company ran the ad in Arabic-speaking newspapers they did not do too well. I guess that they didn't know that in those countries people read from right to left.... (See the I18nGuy page on User Interfaces For Right-To-Left Languages.) Schweppes Tonic Water In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the name into Schweppes Toilet Water. Toyota MR2 Marcel Rigadin reports that Toyota makes the MR2, which in France is pronounced "merdé" or spelled 'merdeux', means "crappy". (Mentioned in Dave Taylor's Global Software.)

Sophomorically Incorrect

In those six years, Mr. Abramson and Mr. Van Veen have since graduated, and their little Web site, generically named CollegeHumor.com, has become the engine behind a thriving Manhattan-based media company. It is a fresh reminder that like Craig's List, some of the most successful Internet ventures have come not from spreadsheet-wielding M.B.A.'s but from people doing what comes naturally. Four million to eight million unique viewers stop by CollegeHumor each month, most of them young men, and in the first half of this year, the company took in $2.4 million from advertising and T-shirt sales, its founders say. Those kinds of numbers have drawn the attention of old-media companies eager to connect with CollegeHumor's audience. Dutton recently bought "CollegeHumor's Guide to College," a spoof on college orientation manuals, and last week, Paramount announced that it had signed a development deal with the company to create CollegeHumor-branded movies, in the vein of National Lampoon, which lent its name to movies like "Animal House." Mr. Abramson and Mr. Van Veen have taken meetings -- a phrase they use earnestly -- with Lorne Michaels, the executive producer of "Saturday Night Live," and executives at News Corp. and Viacom, who were eager to meet them. And veterans of the New York digital media scene have watched with wonder and not a little envy as a couple of boyish-looking recent college graduates with an improbably simple idea have injected some of the old optimism into a scene many had written off as dead. "There is a whimsical and joyful way to the way they execute that is reminiscent of the way people approached this business in '95 and '96," said Rufus Griscom, the chief executive of Nerve.com and an old hand of New York's digital publishing scene. "Their age is key to their success not only because they are their demographic, which is always good, but because they are willing to do wacky things. They have a healthy obliviousness to the way everybody else is doing business." Indeed, Mr. Abramson, now 23, and Mr. Van Veen, 24, have set up CollegeHumor to conform with the typical college kid's idea of a workplace utopia; most of their employees are buddies from school. The 11 staff members work in a newly refurbished 4,800-square-foot TriBeCa loft, where they occasionally have beer-soaked and ice-cream-laden pajama parties. In one room, Web developers have pitched a tent, where they have been taking turns crashing during late-night sessions required for a site redesign. In another, writers sit wearing headphones, lost in their iTunes. (CollegeHumor pays its writers, all recent graduates, $36,000 a year.) In another office, a 21-year-old monitors the supply chain of CollegeHumor's apparel business, which sells T-shirts online and through retailers like Urban Outfitters and Filene's. There's a full kitchen and laundry, and an empty space up front that practically begs for some sort of gaming table. "We're not getting a Ping-Pong table," Mr. Abramson said. "Because we heard The Onion has one." On the surface, Mr. Abramson and Mr. Van Veen seem to lead the swashbuckling lives of their dot-com-era predecessors. Both bachelors, they share a loft three floors below their office, with a 52-inch TV, a new billiard table and a grand piano. And they're among the youngest members of the SoHo House, the trendy social club, where on a recent visit their bemused waitress seemed to look around in vain for their parents.

TaskWatch whiteboard

TaskWatch whiteboard is a wall-mounted write-on/wipe-off panel with a clock in the middle. You can use markers to write all sorts of messages or draw images beside the relevant hour, which makes TaskWatch a helpful tool for organizing one’s time or sharing information with co-workers. Model 01 (with a complete round dial) Model 02 (for office use)

Estimating the Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow

After spending some time last month trying to develop alternate graphic presentations for kinematic ratios in winged flight , I decided to try to answer one of the timeless questions of science: just what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? Since the range of the South African Swallow extends only as far north as Zaire, 2 I felt fairly confident that this was the non-migratory African species referred to in previous discussions of the comparative and cooperative weight-bearing capabilities of African and European swallows. 3 Although 47 of the 74 worldwide swallow species are found in Africa, 1 only two species are named after the continent: the West African Swallow ( Hirundo domicella ) and the South African Swallow ( Hirundo spilodera ), also known as the South African Cave Swallow. Kinematic data for both African species was difficult to find, but the Barn or European Swallow (Hirundo rustica) has been studied intensively, and kinematic data for that species was readily available. It’s a simple question of weight ratios A 54-year survey of 26,285 European Swallows captured and released by the Avian Demography Unit of the University of Capetown finds that the average adult European swallow has a wing length of 12.2 cm and a body mass of 20.3 grams.4 Because wing beat frequency and wing amplitude both scale with body mass,5 and flight kinematic data is available for at least 22 other bird species,6 it should be possible to estimate the frequency (f ) and amplitude (A) of the European Swallow by a comparison with similar species. With those two numbers, it will be possible to estimate airspeed (U). In order to maintain airspeed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right? Actually, wrong. By comparing the European Swallow with bird species of similar body mass, we can estimate that the swallow beats its wings 18 times a second with an amplitude of 18 cm: Species Body mass Frequency Amplitude Zebra Finch 13 g 27 Hz 11 cm European Swallow 20 g ≈ 18 Hz? ≈ 18 cm? Downy Woodpecker 27 g 14 Hz 29 cm Budgerigar 34 g 14 Hz 15 cm Note that even the tiny Zebra Finch flaps its wings no more than 27 times a second while cruising. If we ignore body mass and look only at bird species with a similar wingspan, we can estimate an average frequency of 14 beats per second and an amplitude of 23 cm: Species Wingspan Frequency Amplitude Budgerigar 27 cm 14 Hz 15 cm European Swallow ≈ 28–30 cm ≈ 14 Hz? ≈ 23 cm? Downy Woodpecker 31 cm 14 Hz 29 cm European Starling 35 cm 14 Hz 26 cm By averaging all 6 values, we can estimate that an average European Swallow flies at cruising speed with a frequency of roughly 15 beats per second, and an amplitude of roughly 22 cm. Skip a bit, Brother Last month’s article on The Strouhal Number in Cruising Flight showed how simplified flight waveforms that graph amplitude versus wavelength can be useful for visualizing the Strouhal ratio (fA/U), a dimensionless parameter that tends to fall in the range of 0.2–0.4 during efficient cruising flight. For a European Swallow flying with our estimated wingbeat amplitude of 24 cm, the predicted pattern of cruising flight ranges from a Strouhal number (St) of 0.2: ... to a less efficient 0.4: If the first diagram (St = 0.2) is accurate, then the cruising speed of the European Swallow would be roughly 16 meters per second (15 beats per second * 1.1 meters per beat). If the second diagram (St = 0.4) is accurate, then the cruising speed of the European Swallow would be closer to 8 meters per second (15 beats per second * 0.55 meters per beat). If we settle on an intermediate Strouhal value of 0.3: We can estimate the airspeed of the European Swallow to be roughly 11 meters per second (15 beats per second * 0.73 meters per beat). Three shall be the number thou shalt count Airspeed can also be predicted using a published formula. By inverting this midpoint Strouhal ratio of 0.3 (fA/U ≈ 0.3), Graham K. Taylor et al. show that as a rule of thumb, the speed of a flying animal is roughly 3 times frequency times amplitude (U ≈ 3fA).5 We now need only plug in the numbers: U ≈ 3fA f ≈ 15 (beats per second) A ≈ 0.22 (meters per beat) U ≈ 3*15*0.22 ≈ 9.9 ... to estimate that the airspeed velocity of an unladen European Swallow is 10 meters per second. Oh, yeah, I agree with that With some further study, it became clear that these estimates are accurate, though perhaps coincidental. An actual study of two European Swallows flying in a low-turbulence wind tunnel in Lund, Sweden, shows that swallows flap their wings much slower than my estimate, at only 7–9 beats per second: “Compared with other species of similar size, the swallow has quite low wingbeat frequency and relatively long wings.” 7 The maximum speed the birds could maintain was 13–14 meters per second, and although the Lund study does not discuss cruising flight in particular, the most efficient flapping (7 beats per second) occurred at an airspeed in the range of 8–11 meters per second, with an amplitude of 90–100° (17–19 cm). And there was much rejoicing Averaging the above numbers and plugging them in to the Strouhal equation for cruising flight (fA/U = 7 beats per second * 0.18 meters per beat / 9.5 meters per second) yields a Strouhal number of roughly 0.13: ... indicating a surprisingly efficient flight pattern falling well below the expected range of 0.2–0.4. Although a definitive answer would of course require further measurements, published species-wide averages of wing length and body mass, initial Strouhal estimates based on those averages and cross-species comparisons, the Lund wind tunnel study of birds flying at a range of speeds, and revised Strouhal numbers based on that study all lead me to estimate that the average cruising airspeed velocity of an unladen European Swallow is roughly 11 meters per second, or 24 miles an hour. What is the capital of Assyria? For those looking for additional answers, the four capitals of Assyria were Ashur (or Qalat Sherqat), Calah (or Nimrud), the short-lived Dur Sharrukin (or Khorsabad), and Nineveh.8 The ruins of all four ancient cities fall within the modern state of Iraq. References

Yahoo! acquires Konfabulator

Yahoo! Inc. on Monday will announce the acquisition of Konfabulator, a Macintosh and Windows application that allows users to run mini files known as Widgets on their desktop -- the same model used by Apple for its Dashboard application. Yahoo! company executives said they would also be giving Konfabulator away for free, completely doing away with the US$19.95 currently charged for the product. Yahoo! said the reason they purchased Konfabulator was that they wanted an easy way to open up its APIs to the developer community and allow them easy access to the information on the Yahoo! Web site. In doing this, Widgets could be built without having to scrape sites in order to get information. “What we can do with Konfabulator is wrap these services that we are opening up into an environment that is really easy for people to now become developers,” Tony Schneider, vice president of the Yahoo! Developer Network, told MacCentral. Schneider also confirmed that Konfabulator would be available for free. In addition, Yahoo! plans to refund customers that purchased the product in the last two months. The acquisition of Konfabulator may not be the last Mac compatible product users see from Yahoo! While Schneider wasn’t specific, he did say that there was interest in the Mac. “There is a move at Yahoo! -- in addition to Konfabulator -- to move more onto the Mac,” said Schneider. “We want to make sure we find a way to be more cross platform.” What does it mean for Mac users? Arlo Rose, Longtime Macintosh developer and CEO of Konfabulator parent company Pixoria, will be staying on to head the development of Konfabulator at Yahoo! With the title Director of Widget Technology, Schneider said that, “Arlo is going to continue to drive the vision for Konfabulator and push the envelope of the platform.” Rose also confirmed that the two engineers that worked on Konfabulator with him will also take jobs at Yahoo! to continue their work on the product, as well. Rose said that Konfabulator would not be going away as a Macintosh application. In fact, he said it is quite the opposite as they look at new avenues of growth for Konfabulator. “Our focus is to never stray from multiple platforms,” Rose told MacCentral. “As a matter of fact, one of our goals is to investigate ways to open up Konfabulator to things like cell phones and maybe even Linux and your Tivo device. It’s about complete multi-platform distribution.” With the acquisition by Yahoo! Konfabulator’s developer base could soar many times beyond what it was at Pixoria. This, said Rose, is a good thing for the Mac platform. “I think this is going to be a great opportunity for Mac users because it is opening up Konfabulator to such a huge audience that we never had the ability to do as a three person company,” said Rose. “Having Apple there with Dashboard is going to continue to drive us to make a better product.” What about the Widgets Yahoo! currently makes two Widgets for Apple’s Dashboard: My Yahoo! and Yahoo! Local Traffic. While the company will continue to develop those Widgets for Dashboard in the short term, no decision has been made on the future development for those products. “Right now we will definitely continue doing those, but we haven’t fully decided yet,” said Schneider. Yahoo! will be making those Widgets available for Konfabulator and that is our focus.” “We won’t be taking the core set of Konfabulator Widgets and making them work on Dashboard, but we will work with the people that made the Dashboard Widgets here at Yahoo and make those work with Konfabulator,” added Rose. Rose said that there would also be opportunities at Yahoo! for some of the best Widget designers in the community. Although he could make no promises, Rose said he would also like to see a cross platform tool, so that you could convert Dashboard Widgets to Konfabulator Widgets. For longtime Konfabulator developers, Rose believes this move will be better for them, giving them access to more resources than ever before. “Hopefully it [developer reaction] will be positive,” said Rose. “What we’re doing is integrating ourselves into Yahoo’s developer network, so we’ll be giving them a lot more information and help than we have in the past because we will have more resources to be able to do that.” Rose said that Yahoo! anticipates millions of downloads of Konfabulator over the next few weeks. Whether on the Windows or Mac side, both Rose and Schneider see this as a good thing for the Mac platform. “The thing that is really important to us is that by opening it up to such a huge Yahoo audience, we get all of these Windows people that are into creating all of these amazing Widgets without scrapping sites -- that spills over to the Mac universe,” said Rose. “It takes what the Mac currently has with Dashboard and opens it up to this massive amount of people to start developing these things. It’s not just being developed on a Mac for a Mac, it’s being developed by everybody for the Mac.” This story, "Yahoo! acquires Konfabulator" was originally published by PCWorld .

US unions split off main movement

Dissidents criticise the leadership of AFL-CIO president John Sweeney The Teamsters and the Service Employees unions say the AFL-CIO neglected the movement's loss of members and influence in favour of politics. Another two unions are boycotting the current AFL-CIO convention in Chicago. Correspondents say the US labour movement now faces one of the biggest splits in its history. The breakaway unions have already set up a rival organisation. Service Employees' International is the largest and fastest-growing union in the US, with more than 1.8 million members, while the Teamsters call themselves "the world's most powerful union". The rebels are among seven dissident unions representing a third of the AFL-CIO's 13m members - and $35m (£20m) in dues. Experts say a split in US labour could hurt the Democratic party, which generally gets strong union backing. Simmering tension The split came at a convention meant to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the merger of the American Federation of Labor and the Congress of Industrial Organizations. Anna Burger said the AFL-CIO had not done enough to change AFL-CIO president John Sweeney criticised the rebels at the start of the convention. "At a time when our corporate and conservative adversaries have created the most powerful anti-worker political machine in the history of our country, a divided movement hurts the hopes of working families for a better life," he said to a standing ovation. Long-simmering tension between the dissidents - part of a coalition called Change to Win - and AFL-CIO burst into the open on Sunday. "Today, we have reached a point where our differences have become unresolvable," coalition chair Anna Burger said in a statement on the eve of the convention. About 1,000 supporters of Mr Sweeney rallied on Sunday under the slogan United to Win, the AFL-CIO said. The dissident unions are unhappy with Mr Sweeney's leadership. He is expected to win re-election without challenge at the convention. The US labour movement has long been in decline. According to government statistics, 12.5% of all US workers - and 8% of private-sector workers - are union members. In the 1950s and 1960s, about a third of workers were unionised.

Deaf charity wants high fashion hearing aids

The Victoria & Albert Museum in London is hosting an exhibition of high-fashion hearing aids, called Hearwear, in a bid to rehabilitate the devices and make them seem more attractive to those who might need them. The exhibition, supported by the Royal National Institute for Deaf People (RNID), will showcase a range of designs, from more attractively designed hearing aids to devices that could be used by anyone to play around with sound, the BBC reports. The exhibition, which opens this week, will include a concept called Goldfish. It records and can replay the last 10 seconds of a conversation, in case the wearer misses a person's name when they are introduced. It also includes hearing aids that have been designed to look like jewellery or gadgets, a device for blocking out annoying sounds, and another to reduce background noise. The RNID's chief executive, John Low, says that it is time for more investment in the consumer appeal of hearing aids. "Millions of people who could benefit from wearing a hearing aid or hearing protection are reluctant to do so," he told the BBC. "There has been an incredible revolution is the design of glasses, why not in hearing aids?" The RNID says hearing loss will become a significant health issue in the future. It expects the number of people dealing with some level of impaired hearing will rise from the current one-in-seven, because of increased noise pollution, and increasing life expectancy. The exhibition opens this week and will run until March 2006. ® Related stories UK computer boffins build sign language avatar WAP really is useful Nokia launches mobile phone for the deaf

Xoops Web Hosting

Xoops hosting service is a preferred choice for most users. Xoops is a highly efficient and easy to use content management system. Xoops is the abbreviation for extensible Object Oriented Portal System. Xoops is basically content management software written in PHP and uses MYSQL database. It facilitates the creation of dynamic websites with advanced features incorporated as a part of it. XOOPS is the ideal tool for developing small to large dynamic community websites, intra company portals, corporate portals, weblogs and much more. Xoops is one of the most powerful CMS tools available. It's designed for the newbie’s yet it caters to the advanced users who require more functionality. This means that you can create dynamic community websites, web blogs, and portals with this content management tool. Xoops can be installed on server host like Apache using MySQL database in the backend. After installation, web administrators will be able to create a dynamic website. Xoops comes with module administration system which provides complete flexibility for administrators. You can use the available modules at any time to install or uninstall Xoops. Supported World-wide XOOPS was created and is maintained by a team of several hard-working volunteers working from all over the world. The XOOPS community has more than dozen official support sites around the world for support of non-English speaking users. – Multi-byte Language Support Fully supports multi-byte languages, including Japanese, Simplified and Traditional Chinese, Korean, etc. – Versatile Group Permissions System Powerful and user-friendly permissions system which enables administrators to set permissions by group. – Theme-based skin able interface XOOPS is driven by a powerful theme system. Both admins and users can change the look of the entire website with just a click of a mouse. There are also over 1000 themes available for download!

Microsoft And Google In Race For Online Maps

Microsoft And Google In Race For Online Maps Microsoft's Virtual Earth site includes satellite photos of buildings and streets In the hotel business, location matters nearly as much as in real estate. On its busiest E-commerce days, when travelers book more than $7 million worth of rooms at the Holiday Inn and other Intercontinental Hotels Group plc properties, more than two-thirds consult an online map, says Del Ross, VP of global E-commerce. "When deciding on what hotel to stay in, there are two hugely important questions that come before price: Where's the hotel in relation to where I need to go? And what's surrounding the hotel?" Ross says. Maps have become "a critical component to being able to sell effectively on the Internet." Factor in the fast growth of online ads that run alongside local searches, and it's no wonder Microsoft, Google Inc., and others with big Web properties are racing to release the best maps. Microsoft will launch this week Virtual Earth, a Web site that lets users scroll around an interactive map of the United States that includes satellite photos of buildings, streets, and landmarks. Virtual Earth uses Windows' ability to sniff out Wi-Fi access points to log users on to a Web page that starts with the city they're in. Microsoft plans to license Virtual Earth to businesses hoping to jazz up their online cartography and will tap into the 500-company installed base of its less visually lush MapPoint Web service. Since chairman Bill Gates gave Virtual Earth the green light five months ago, Microsoft has built the site, folded its MapPoint software group and several researchers into a new group inside MSN, and gone on a hiring spree that will see the team grow to maybe 70 people. Microsoft plans to integrate Virtual Earth with its MSN travel and auto sites and wants to negotiate deals with companies to put their logos on the satellite images, which come from TerraServer, a Microsoft site that was one of the first to make satellite photography accessible to large numbers of online users. Microsoft plans to update Virtual Earth this fall with close-up cityscape photos and more-detailed satellite images. Microsoft plans to license the interactive Virtual Earth to companies hoping to jazz up their online cartography. While Microsoft has been crunching to build Virtual Earth, rival Google has released a spate of online-mapping software that has Web users abuzz. In February, Google Maps changed the way people interact with geographic software online by using novel programming techniques to let users zoom around a map of North America without refreshing their browsers. Google Earth debuted last month, letting Web surfers move around a 3-D globe and drop down to view their local Starbucks or their house. In the past few weeks, Google has launched a Japanese version of Maps and flipped the switch on Google Moon, based on NASA images. Microsoft and Google are competing for a share of ads tied to searches users perform on their sites and revenue from licensing their technologies to companies wanting to improve their own sites. "They're playing a game of leapfrog, which is great for us," says Ross at Intercontinental, which uses Microsoft MapPoint at its site. Intercontinental is talking to both Microsoft and Google about buying ads pegged to site searches, Ross says. Marriott International Inc. licenses Microsoft's MapPoint software for its site and is experimenting with more interactive maps on the Web site for its Marriott Marquis hotel in New York's Times Square, says Mike Keppler, VP of sales and marketing. It's also working on deals that would let it show customers online maps with the local weather before they arrive at a Marriott. We welcome your comments on this topic on our social media channels, or [contact us directly] with questions about the site.

She's gotta have it

Meet Sally - young, inescapably female and a gadget obsessive. She's not alone. Forget the idea that technology is the preserve of pale men in darkened rooms. Now big business, from top fashion houses to hi-tech manufacturers, is scrambling to get a piece of the new woman consumer. Polly Vernon introduces the new nerds Sally Dixon has several mobile phones, a Nokia 7200 Navigator (which is a bit like a BlackBerry and, actually, she's got one of those too), four plasma screen TVs, a car that she can activate by remote control from her flat (so that it's warmed up by the time she gets to it on frostier mornings), an iBook and a super hi-spec Mac G5. She's got a pair of Bang & Olufsen telephones, a digital camera and a Bose Lifestyle entertainment system that controls the individual output of each of the four amps she has wired into different rooms in her house. She's got a first generation iPod and was the first person she knew to hear about MP3 players, let alone actually possess one. 'And then I got a mini iPod too, because, well, it was pink.' Sally Dixon loves gadgets. 'I just think it's fascinating, the things they can do,' she says. 'I covet gadgets like I covet handbags, like shoes. Probably more in fact. It has been ages since I spent loads of money on a handbag. I go to the Selfridges technology department, just for a look, just to pass the time. Whenever I'm in an airport, I'll have a quick look in Dixons. I always want something new. If I see someone else with something new, I want that, too. I've got a wish list in my head. I'm a little bit obsessed. Do I sound like a freak?' Perhaps less of a freak, and more of a pioneer. She's hardly your traditional technology consumer - your gadget-fixated, spec-obsessed nerdy archetype. She is a young, glamorous, fashion editor for the glossy magazine B - and quite inescapably female. Sally Dixon is the technology consumer of the future. In fact, increasingly, she and women like her are the technology consumers of right now. According to a recent report (commissioned early this summer by Dixons, who are unsurprisingly keen to tap into this burgeoning market) electronics retailers have experienced a 20% increase in female customers over the course of the past two years. Silke Schilde, press officer for Sony, claims that in the UK last year, 'the number of female versus male purchasers of laptops, cameras and TVs is about the same. Women seem to be buying gadgets, just as much as men.' New research by ICM suggests women spend three times as much on gadgets as they do on beauty products and treatments each year - an average of £634 on MP3 players, digital cameras and mobile phones, compared with £222 on cosmetics, facials and manicures. And in the teen market, statistics show that girls aged 13-18 are more likely to use mobile phones, digital cameras and DVD players than their male equivalents. Two things are widely believed to have fuelled British women's love affair with technology: increasingly good styling and developments in 'sociable' gadgetry - gadgets such as mobile phones and digital cameras that enhance, accommodate and facilitate their user's social life rather than limit it, as televisions are perceived to do. 'Fashion and technology are converging rapidly,' says Joanne Illingworth, brand marketing manager of Dixons. 'Look at the number of adverts devoted to gadgets. They're taking up space and time slots that were previously occupied by fashion or make-up. Technology is a fashion statement. What's the first thing anyone does when they get to a pub or a restaurant? They get their phone out of their bag and put it on the tabletop - partly in case they get a call or a text, but partly because they're showing off. Women need their mobiles, and their gadgets generally, to make a statement.' Katie Lee, journalist and editor of Shiny Shiny, a weblog for gadget-obsessed women, agrees - to an extent. 'Women want good design, absolutely, and there's nothing wrong with that. But also women, more than men even, need to see a use in every gadget. They need to know exactly how it's going to fit into their lives, what it's going to do for them.' Lee is sitting in an east London pub with the contents of her handbag strewn across the table. It's an impressive array. She possesses gadgets I've never heard of and accoutrements (such as a phone charm made of Swarovski crystal) that send me spiralling into what Sally Dixon calls 'gadget envy'. 'More than styling, size has had a big impact,' says Lee. 'As things have got smaller, women have got more interested because physically these laptops, phones, whatever, are easier to carry around. So there's a straightforward appeal in things being pink or sparkling or cute. But if they don't do what we need them to do, or if they're too big, we don't care.' Lee agrees that the social function of gadgets is crucial to women: 'Women like gadgets that have nothing to do with sitting in a darkened room, hunched over a keyboard. They like mobile gadgets. That's why mobile phones were such a major gateway gadget for so many women. Watch this.' Lee takes a picture of me with her phone and fiddles about with its keypad for a few seconds. 'Now you're on my moblog,' she says. 'It's a mobile weblog, a photo log. I take pictures with my phone as I go about my day, post them on my moblog, and people can have a look to see where I am and what I'm up to.' It's taken the various major electronics manufacturers a surprising amount of time to catch on to the fact that they should be marketing directly to Lee, Dixon and their female contemporaries. Apart from Apple - who were way ahead of the game when they launched their jewel coloured iMacs in the late nineties, machines that evolved into all-white iBooks, the much-coveted iPods and the white, airy, women-pleasing flagship stores in Manhattan and Regent Street - and Samsung, who, Lee points out, have pretty much built an entire business on the back of a female market with their elegant, compact-like silver phones, it's only really over the course of the past year that most companies have started targeting female customers. But they're getting the hang of things now. Dixons, for example, has doubled its training budget in the interest of teaching staff about body language, speech patterns and attitudes that might help them engage with female consumers. By 2008, they hope to have at least a 45/55 split on female/male employees. In mid-June 2005, they also launched an evening entitled 'Glam, Gizmos and Geek Chic', a women-only shopping event that will roll out through their UK stores over the course of the next few months. While general opinion indicates that they would do well to put some of that cash towards prettifying their stores and carrier bags, you have to commend Dixons for the effort. Elsewhere, Sony's sleek, chic, boutique-styled stores, which are located on major shopping thoroughfares, sandwiched between shoe shops and fashionably contemporised department stores, were certainly developed with a female consumer in mind. Siemens is in the process of planning a 'women's only' launch of a mobile phone designed by an all-female team, while Sky+ was launched with a keen eye on the female market. Fashion designers Matthew Williamson and Cath Kidston have even been drafted in to design limited edition Sky+ boxes. Kate Rainbow, the 31-year-old owner of a communications company, is a woman with both a personal and a professional interest in technology. She believes dressing up gadgets so they appeal to more women will be the next huge growth area. 'It's only now becoming obvious, but the market in accessorising is huge,' she says. 'Swarovski crystal covers for BlackBerries, laptop bags, phone fascias and phone charms. The potential to customise phones and gadgets will grow immensely. People, women in particular, want to make their gadgets individual in some way. I've customised every phone I've had. The technology won't differentiate between male and female consumers. But the packaging, the styling and the accessorising will.' Lee agrees: 'Increasingly the lines between jewellery or accessory and gadget are being blurred. You can literally wear your phone or your digital camera around your neck on necklaces designed for that purpose (although I'm not keen on that look). You can strap your iPod shuffle round your arm with the bracelet provided. You carry your laptop in a Roland Mouret or a Julian McDonald laptop bag - laptops are quickly becoming the new handbags.' But there are rumblings of discontent about all this from certain factions of the female technology market. There is, perhaps, something offensive in suggesting women should be sold to as one undifferentiated lump, and that you'll charm the hard-earned cash from their Mulberry purses simply by coating electronics in sparkles and Hello Kitty logos. Lee receives a lot of flack from disgruntled female bloggers who object to Shiny Shiny's appreciation of gratuitously pink gadgets. Even she thinks the girlification of gadgetry has its limits. 'I went to Paris recently for the launch of a Roja phone,' she says, 'and it had a mirror on it and a specially designed perfume to go with it. Let's face it, that is pretty patronising.' And despite her pink mini iPod and her stylist sensibilities, Dixon prides herself in knowing a huge amount about the interiors of her gadgets, which she often researches hard before she makes a purchase. 'I can generally fix them. I'm good, particularly with computers.' She will certainly not be availing herself of the services of companies such as Geeks on Wheels, freelance IT men who charge a premium to speed round to the homes of girls incapable of unfreezing their iPod screens or resetting their Freeview boxes. Lee thinks that the manufacturers, the female consumers and society at large still have some way to go. Popular culture, she says, is refusing to acknowledge women's interest in gadgets. 'Carrie Bradshaw had an iBook in Sex and the City, and everyone had mobile phones. But, apart from that, you don't see a lot of evidence of female take-up of technology reflected on TV.' Lee has written sporadically for women's magazines on the subject 'but they only ever print very half-hearted coverage. Sooner or later they give up. They simply don't understand the level of interest there actually is.' But this will change. We're unknowingly raising a generation of kids who are so technologically literate that they make Dixon and Lee look positively 20th century. Paul Jackson of Forrester Research, a company that specialises in technology market research, thinks both male and female teenagers embrace consumer electronics products simply because they've grown up with them. 'They don't necessarily see it as technology any more,' he says. 'They just accept it, like we accept electricity or television.' 'My niece is 14,' adds Lee. 'She had a CD player, a DVD in her room before she was in her teens. She got an iPod as soon as she could. She has countless email accounts. She was IMing (instant messaging) before I was. She doesn't like gaming though.' What's next for women and gadgets? Dixon thinks it'll all be the gadgeting up of our homes. 'People look for technological extras when they're buying new houses,' she says. 'That's why I incorporated so many into mine. I spent more time and cash on them than I did the soft furnishings.' Jo Illingworth of Dixons thinks televisions will become more important to the female buyer. 'Women love plasma screens. Because they're flat they don't take up any space. Women aren't so interested in the high definition, but more in the way TVs fit into their homes.' Rainbow thinks the future of women and technology rests on targeting different types of women and beyond. It'll be about all sorts, she says, 'about breaking down specific markets. For example, early this year Nokia developed an incredibly simply mobile in Japan, that had huge buttons and only two functions - to make and receive calls - and they launched it as a granddad phone. It proved incredibly successful. I think we'll see more of that.' Which, of course, would be the best idea all round. Never mind technology for women. The future is technology for individuals. As Lee says : 'Just make things that are small and look nice - because men like nice, small things as well.' Katie Lee's five favourite gadgets Philips Shoqbox £99.99 0906 101 0016 or www.philips.co.uk 'This tiny portable stereo system makes a lot of noise. You can store music files on the internal memory, listen to the radio or plug in your music player, which means it's perfect for picnics or holidays.' Orange SPV C550 Free with an Orange contract www.orange.co.uk 'It runs on Windows so it's like having a mini computer on you at all times - but one that's the same size as a normal phone. I keep it synchronised with my Outlook diary and use it to check my emails and browse the web when I'm out.' Sky+ 160 £299 08705 800 866 or www.sky.com 'There's enough room to store 80 hours of TV on this white box, and you can get it to record your favourite series for you automatically. Looking back, I'm not sure how I managed to live a full and happy life before I had one. So easy even an adult can use it.' Nikon D50 Digital SLR Around £600 www.nikon.co.uk 'Most digital SLRs are too heavy to lug about, but this is one of the smallest out there and it's a great place to start if you fancy getting a bit serious with your snaps. It's nice and easy to use, but you get to feel like a proper photographer when you're using it.' Pretec I-Tiny £29.95 www.girlsstuff.co.uk 'I have loads of USB memory sticks - they're so handy for storing images, music and files, and are a much easier way to transfer stuff from your laptop to your computer than discs. This one is tiny and pink so it's perfect for girly girls.'

Snapping me snapping you

Earlier this summer, Michael, a sales assistant, was sitting in the cafe in London's Holland Park. 'Then I saw them - Gwyneth Paltrow and Stella McCartney,' he says. 'They were pushing prams. So I got out my camera. At first, they didn't appear to notice.' As Michael explains, a camera like his - a small Canon, the size of a credit card - is not very conspicuous. 'But then I think Gwyneth realised what was going on.' Michael always carries his camera with him - 'it's just easy, so small, always there in case something happens'. One of the resulting photographs was published in Heat magazine, in a slot called You've Been Snapped! which features celebrities caught, unposed, by members of the public. In May, chef Matthew Stevens, 24, was cleaning out the freezers at the Quantuck Gateway restaurant in Bridgewater, Somerset, when he was bitten twice on the hand by a deadly Brazilian wandering spider that had made its way into the kitchen via the restaurant's delivery of bananas. Despite 'feeling really dizzy and quite sick', Stevens managed to fling some hot water over the spider, 'which seemed to stun it'. He then fired off a few pictures of it using a Motorola V600, using the digital zoom to get in nice and close. A few hours later, by which time the entire right side of his body was paralysed and he was being stretchered off to receive oxygen at Musgrove hospital in Taunton, the doctors finally managed to identify the spider by emailing the images on his phone to Bristol Zoo. They could then administer the correct anti-venom drugs and Stevens made a full recovery, although he insists he 'checks the bananas much more carefully now'. Another 'camphone' image - this time a murky snap taken at a birthday drink in a north London pub - has provided key evidence in the investigation of an attempted murder. It shows David Sayer, who was later stabbed five times; in the background are three men playing pool. The image was taken discreetly using a mobile phone, rather than a camera, which may explain why the assailants seem unaware their faces are being captured. The picture was the centrepiece of a recent BBC Crimewatch appeal. Three very different examples. But now so many of us have tiny digital cameras or boast cameras in our mobiles - one in five mobile phone owners in the UK, according to Jupiter Research - that most of life can be documented. 'Rather than the traditional concept of "the few watching the many", the popularity of camera phones has created a situation where the many are now watching the many,' explains Les Back, professor of sociology at Goldsmiths College. We're all now monitoring each other, ready to snap any moments of weakness and record them for posterity, or in some cases, profit, as Prince Harry will readily confirm. That infamous shot of Harry wearing Nazi regalia at a fancy dress party - taken with a mobile phone - was sold by a fellow party-goer to The Sun for about £7,500, a very humble figure given its impact and the sales benefit to the paper. According to Nokia, which now likes to call itself the world's biggest camera manufacturer, the number of camera phones sold globally had exceeded that of digital cameras by mid-2003 (at 200 million). Nokia predicts this figure will treble by 2006. But at present, according to Jupiter Research, not even a fifth of UK camera phone owners have taken a picture with their phones, and only 6 per cent have sent a picture message, also known as an MMS. The big problem was that, until very recently, the quality of images was rather shaky. This was partly due to the technology itself, but also because the resolution was often set deliberately low, so as not to use too much of a phone's memory. But this is less of a problem in the era of removable memory cards. We also shouldn't confuse the ropey quality of a highly compressed MMS with a phone's underlying ability to take pictures, which can then be (expensively) emailed from the mobile, or transferred on to a computer. Either way, until the very latest models, camera phones have simply not produced a calibre of photo worth printing. In fact, they've not even been good enough for angling enthusiasts to document big fish that they've landed, according to a senior news reporter for the Angling Times, who ruefully warned that 'the real horror story is when the occasional angler catches an absolute whacker, and photographs it using a mobile phone or a disposable camera, only to find that the picture isn't of publishable quality'. Yet there's an old saying among photographers that the best camera is the one you have on you at the time. In this sense, small digitals or camera phones are now an indispensable tool for journalists, whether fashion editors air kissing at the catwalks or hardened newshounds. The BBC now issues Nokia camera phones with beefed-up microphones to 'most news reporters', according to the corporation's TV editor of newsgathering, Jon Williams. 'Television is all about pictures,' he says. 'So not having any isn't a position that I feel comfortable with.' As reporters inevitably get to the scene of a breaking story before film crews, they are in an ideal position to provide 'first responder stuff' and, as they can then email these shots directly from a phone to a news desk, they can provide 'holding images', until better material arrives. That this can now be replicated from any part of the world 'unlocks the potential for getting more stories, from more places, more quickly,' says Williams. 'Without wanting to overstate it, this technology liberates TV production.' He adds that the pictures taken on a good camera phone 'can actually be quite decent', before explaining that - even before the London bombings - they had already provided images for broadcast stories that would otherwise have remained unseen, including the 'ghost ships' loaded with toxic materials - camera phone pics were taken by a reporter from another ship off the north east coast - and the recent floods in Thirsk, north Yorkshire. Williams is keen to encourage the public to continue emailing any news-worthy images they've taken on their phones, a process he calls 'the democratisation of newsgathering', adding that the BBC might pay for a really hot story - though probably 'less than four figures'. The London bombings earlier this month were largely documented through mobile phone pictures. Williams is not particularly anxious about hoax images. 'It's the same as any other news story,' he says. 'Always check your sources. At some point, somebody will get hoaxed, we hope we have the processes in place to prevent it being us.' What's more, since pictures can be sent instantly, people are increasingly using them to lodge complaints about iffy holiday accommodation, say, by emailing the images directly to the holiday company while they are still abroad rather than having to find a travel agent. Permanently packing a camera phone can also help preserve a no claims bonus, says Philip Southgate, spokesperson for Prudential Motor Insurance. 'People's ability to document accidents has evolved with technology,' he says. 'As well as noting details on paper, nowadays photographs taken with a mobile phone can also be compelling evidence.' Southgate explains that even a crude image, showing the vehicle's road positioning or the weather conditions, can be very useful. A good tip since two-thirds of Brits involved in road accidents admit liability at the scene, according to Prudential. Professor Back is less optimistic. He thinks camera phones lead to 'the memorialising of bad behaviour', by which he means the so called 'happy slapping' phenomenon, insisting that it is all part of a wider cultural syndrome. 'The obsession with moral weakness, bad behaviour and becoming spectators in other people's lives is having a damaging effect,' he says. His point is illustrated by events that took place in Edinburgh a few weeks ago, as a 34-year-old man stood precariously on a small ledge, 100ft above the glass roof of Waverley Station. In what it called 'a sad indictment of today's society', The Scotsman reported that a ghoulish crowd 'camera-phones held aloft, manoeuvred themselves into the best spot to get a snap. "Just jump," shouted one sadistic voyeur.' The technology itself is not 'unremittingly negative', says Professor Back. 'It's how people use it that matters.' Knives are clearly for chopping, rather than stabbing, and no one disputes the usefulness of glue, despite the fact that some teenagers choose to sniff it. What many people are concerned about is the surreptitious nature of the way camera phones work, and the impact that has on privacy. Some employers have made noises about security. Grave warnings have been issued to parents to cover up their toddlers in the park, and health clubs are rattled about their potential use in changing rooms. Andree Deane, communications director of the Fitness Industry Association, explains that 'most major health club chains have a ban [on camera phones] in place, with signs in the changing rooms. In fact, a number of gyms now don't allow mobiles at all.' In truth, short of banning all mobile phones, it is hard to see how anything can be done to stop people using cameras. There have been suggestions that we adopt a similar approach to Korea, where manufacturers have voluntarily prevented the shutter noise on camera phones from being disabled. But is this likely to happen here? Professor Peter Whittaker is a member of the European Group for Ethics in Science and Technology, which advises the European Commission on policy. 'This is something people ought to be concerned about,' he says, 'and a matter I will certainly be bringing up with the EU ethics group.' Inevitably, the communications director for Nokia, Mark Squires, thinks this is all a non-issue, pointing out that 'digital cameras can be just as small, and the way people carry [camera phones] clearly indicates they are taking a picture'. He also makes the point that in the early days of audio recording technology, the kit was supposed to make a bleep every four seconds so people knew they were being recorded. Even the Ministry of Defence does not seem unduly concerned about the use of camera phones, simply asking all its staff, whether in active military service or civilian, to exercise 'common sense usage'. An MOD spokesperson said: 'There is no policy banning mobile phones on the front line, whether they are camera phones or video phones. We trust our personnel to use them responsibly.' There is, however, a 'restricted mobile phone policy' in certain areas of MOD buildings. 'If you start taking pictures of documents and pinging them to your friends, it's treated as seriously as if you're sending them to the Russians.' It's notoriously hard to quantify exactly what impact the rising tide of camera phones is having on the overall camera market, seeing as so many are now sold online, but the major manufacturers all reported poor financial results for the first quarter of 2005, according to Jupiter Research. The Carphone Warehouse's UK chief executive, Andrew Harrison, says his company has 'seen an increasing shift towards camera phones, particularly since Christmas'. What's definitely true is that cameras are becoming a standard feature in phones, in the same way that alarm clocks and colour screens already are. It will gradually become easier to send and receive high-quality pictures and footage. We already live in a society where, for good or ill, we are all watching each other more closely than ever before. So, welcome to the snaparazzi society.

Microsoft's Earth deletes Apple HQ

Not one but two Register readers emailed us to tell us that MSN's Virtual Earth is promoting a world free of the menace of Apple Computers. If you've got time on your hands - stand up Jens and Stefan - have a look at Apple's Cupertino headquarters from Google and MSN's rival map sites. Both sites offer aerial photos alongside maps. MSN's version is here and Google's is here. See the difference? Google shows the Apple Cupertino HQ - a lovely, shiny building probably full of iPods. MSN on the other hand shows an apparently empty field. Not as much as a black turtle-necked jumper remains of Apple's headquarters. This could be no more than an old picture taken before Cupertino was built or a glimpse of an imagined future. How this terrible error came about is not yet clear. Nor can we be certain who else has been removed from Bill's upgraded planet. Reg reader Michael Sage pointed out that zooming in on the UK will reveal towns like Norwich and Lowestoft long before little old London appears. Is London next to be removed? We need to know. Even more disturbing MSN's Virtual Earth still shows the twin towers of the World Trade Center in all their pre-9/11 glory. No comment from Microsoft HQ as yet but we'll keep you posted. ® Related stories MSN Virtual Earth Global music download stats spill beans on subscriptions Apple bounces back into US PC vendor top four Google conquers planet Earth

OfficeGuns

Welcome Welcome to the official OfficeGuns website. Use the menu on the left to navigate. Check out the new Ruler of the office and the Cluster Maul. Do also check out the pictures some of our visitors has sent us. It started in a meeting. We were playing bullshit bingo, and on the third round I thought to myself: "Oh my God! Can't someone just shoot that bastard?" I was getting tired of bullshit bingo and was fingering with some office supplies. As a sworn Lego-fan, I always try to connect things together. I was connecting two Maulies, then suddenly one of them flew across the room and hit the boring speaker right on the nose. He got a nose-bleed and had to stop the presentation early. Later that week, people came in to thank me. Some even brought chocolate. But most of them wanted to know where I had bought that fabulous gun. I showed them how it was made. They were thrilled and from that day on, we haven't had a single boring presentation. Someone said to me that I could patent the use of the Maulies and sell the ideas. But I told him: "There is enough greed in the world. I want to help people. I want their life to be a better life. I want them to have what I have. A whole range of guns. Made from office supplies." Testimonies "Before, I spent most of my salary at thinkgeek.com on toy weapons for the office. A net-friend told me about OfficeGuns. Now I can build my own for free and use the money on this nifty green laser." - Giovanni, Varese, Italy "I used to get all the boring assignments at the office. Now my boss does not dare and gives them to Brian. Thank you OfficeGuns!" - Stan, Builth, Wales "Life at work was peachy. Stan got all the boring assignments and I could surf all day. Now the boss comes to me with these assignments. But times are changing. I've found OfficeGuns" - Brian, Builth, Wales "Life as a supervisor used to be quite simple. I could delegate boring assignments to my two clueless assistants: Brian and Stan. Now they have found OfficeGuns. I do not dare approach them with boring assignments anymore. I have to do them myself. Thanks alot! >:-(" - Reg, Builth, Wales "My husband Bubba used to come home from work all pissed off. He did not get the same respect at the office as he gets at home from me and our 5 children. But now, thanks to OfficeGuns, he can get the respect both at the office and at home. Thanks OfficeGuns!" - Becky, Lubbock, Texas, USA "I used to make guns from office accessories myself, but after a few accidents and some not-really-needed limbs later I've turned to OfficeGuns for the safe and tested stuff." - Wilhelm, Peiss, Germany Note: We never said these guns were safe! But they are tested. "I used to be fat and without friends at the office. In meetings, I was afraid to come forward with my opinions. Then a friend told me about OfficeGuns. Now when I sit in meetings and disagree, I just shoot the bastard. I've lost weight thanks to higher confidence and now Brady is the fat friendless one. Thank you OfficeGuns" - Mike, Douglas, Georgia, USA "O Lord, bless this thy TEC Maul, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." - Maynard, Birkenhead, England

Vanity Phone Number Resources

The PhoneSpell® search engine provides 4 services in one!! You may have heard that now you can take your phone number with you when you move. Enter a 6 to 10 digit phone number and we'll show you what words and phrases your phone number spells to help you decide if you want to keep it. Pick a new 7 or 8 digit phone number by typing in an available exchange (first 3 to 5 digits) and see what one-word numbers you can choose from. Searching for just the right toll free number to advertise? Type in letters and we will show you the corresponding phone number. We can even dial the number for you!

Where are all the UK start-ups? – plasticbag.org

I find myself thinking of my country and my industry – and what I see confuses and confounds me. This is a tiny little country that remains a world power, one of the few trillion dollar economies in the world. It has 50% take-up of broadband, some huge telecommunications companies and thousands of people working on and around the internet. But still our industry seems dominated by a few moribund and clumsy giants leading a culture that’s inarticulate, unadventurous and profoundly constrained. There’s something very wrong here. My main question is this: Where are all the bloody start-ups? Where are the small passionate groups of creative technologists (people with clue) getting together to build web applications and public-facing products that push things forward? Where is the Blogger or Flickr or Odeo or Six Apart of the UK? What aspect of this country is it that confounds these aspirations? And I know that Audioscrobbler is wonderful. I really love it. But eventually you have to ask – is that really all we can do? So is it a lack of money or a poverty of ambition? The UK has some of the world’s best and most creative film directors – but they don’t make films in the UK, they make adverts. Some of the world’s best (and most expensive) advertisements are made in this country, arranged around home-made TV programming that costs a fraction of the price. But when film directors get bored of selling sugar water they move on to make their proper movies. And for the most part, they go to the States. The same seems true online. The web industry over here is dominated by advertising and marketing because London is dominated by advertising and marketing. People think that the States is the home of this stuff, but it’s not true – American advertising is clumsy and blatant compared to the calculating work done over here. Everything is put to the end of selling something else and I’m routinely surprised by what is for sale. Every event is sponsored by one multi-national or another, from the BAFTAs to the equivalent of the Grammys. On the web, some of the work is absolutely stunning – but it’s all bloody agency stuff – support sites, brochureware, Flash. There’s money all around the place to make things, but still such boring stuff gets made. It’s all just another shiny thing on a conveyer belt already groaning under the weight of shiny things – an environment where the only way to innovate is to get shinier and more illusory, rather than more useful. All this work is churned out by the ton by great people (and not so great people) hired by marketeers – because apparently there is no one else out there who will harness them to make neat new things that the world could use. The major internet companies have presences in the UK of course, but they’re mostly localisation departments / sales departments / advertising departments. They have technical and creative people working for them, but on the whole they’re not making new products. They’re just selling and supporting the existing ones. The whole bloody place seems to be about selling things made elsewhere, working for the unambitious. There are exceptions of course – but even then the tiny fragments of things that we do create seem resolutely parochial – little products aimed at exploiting the tiny idiosyncratic spaces in British culture that huge initiatives from the major net powers have missed – albeit momentarily. So what is it that stops us making great things, starting start-ups and building for money? I contend that in part it’s shame. Certainly the business people of Britain seem to be – at a certain level – highly uncomfortable with the existence of technical people. They’re not a resource to be exploited, or people to collaborate with. The nerdy people who make and create seem to be shuffled to the side, kept in the background, so as not to curdle the canapés at the business meet and greets that are the real motivators of British business. The businessman and the creative technologist seem to be forced into two camps so repulsed by one another (betrayed by dot.com?) that they just circle at a distance, each almost refusing to admit the other exists. So the business people look towards the stable money and wait for the innovations to come in from abroad, or leap clumsily onto bandwagons with the help of the visionless, while the technologists dogmatically avoid anything that looks like it might have been sullied with the hint of a business model. I look at many of my peers and I’m delighted by the projects that they get involved in – they’ve connected people with politics, connected people with their representatives, found ways for people to work together to make the world better, opened up the writings of incredible diarists, created incredible local information services and worked on open calendaring projects. But would it really be so bad for them to spend some of their time building products that were aimed at changing the world by changing how people do everyday things all over the world, or opened up new spaces for creativity or sharing or self-expression or shopping or whatever? There’s a wonderful creative culture here that cannot commercialise itself. But we all use Flickr and del.icio.us so we can’t have that much trouble with people trying to make a business out of being great, surely? Or is it just when the British do it that we’re all expected to rend and tear? What is it about this place that there is so little energy in these directions – are we so hamstrung by geography or history or culture that we cannot innovate, build and then commercialise? I look around and I see some of the brightest and best people I know in the world creating world-class ideas that get exploited elsewhere, or are simply thrown away. It’s not right and we should do something about it – I’m just unclear about whether that’s stand up and be counted, or burn it all down and never look back.

Online Invoicing Software

Stay on top of your money The Blinksale Dashboard lets you see the status of all paid, overdue, and outstanding invoices in the blink of an eye.

Field of beams - Novel system uses polarized light pulses to reveal crop health

By firing rapid pulses of polarized light at corn, spinach and other crops, researchers have uncovered a picture of plant health that is invisible to the naked eye. Using a portable light source and detector technology, the researchers can differentiate minute differences in leaf colors - indicators of over- or under-fertilization, crop-nutrient levels and perhaps even disease. The researchers hope their tractor-mountable N-Checker (for "nitrogen-checker") apparatus will help farmers determine in real time how much fertilizer to apply. By preventing waste, the system could decrease the cost of crop production and dramatically cut the nitrogen-laden runoff responsible for algal blooms and other damage to wetlands and waterways. Steve Finkelman, Paul Nordine and their colleagues at Containerless Research, Inc. of Evanston, Ill., Louise Egerton-Warburton and partners at the Chicago Botanic Garden, and graduate student Tim Smith of the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign, will present their new technology July 19 at the InfoAg 2005 Conference in Springfield, Ill. "With our technology, we are able to easily see what is hidden from conventional instruments," says Finkelman. "The system eliminates interference from light reflected at a leaf's surface and allows us to see light re-emitting from within." Depending on the plant, leaves reflect, transmit and absorb varying amounts of light. Polarized light that enters a leaf's interior can lose its polarity and be re-emitted as "depolarized" light. The depolarized light reveals nitrogen content and other properties the proprietary sensors in the N-Checker can detect. Changes in nitrogen levels change the way light interacts with the molecules in the leaf, characteristically affecting the spectrum of light that re-emits from the plant. Chlorophyll molecules, in particular, contain nitrogen atoms that play a critical role in photosynthesis. The researchers have experimented with two versions of their apparatus. The original version channels broad-spectrum light from a xenon flashlamp through a series of calcite crystals to illuminate each corn, sugar beet, cotton or other broad-leaf crop with a tiny, transient spot of polarized light. Moving from leaf to leaf, that system can measure nitrogen levels in 60 plants per minute. Instead of a broad-spectrum lamp as its source, the N-Checker uses two red-light sources that cut down on sensor and polarizer costs and increase the system speed. The red region of the electromagnetic spectrum is important because it reveals not just total chlorophyll content, but also relative amounts of the various types of chlorophyll molecules. "Other devices use both red and infrared wavelengths," says Finkelman. "Those devices tend to be imprecise because they measure bulk chlorophyll content, which can result from a number of factors." By using two specific, visible, red wavelengths, the N-Checker can differentiate among the several types of chlorophyll molecules and therefore reveal nitrogen-dependent plant health information. The N-Checker can take 1000 measurements per second--at least every 10th of an inch--while moving at roughly 5 miles an hour. At that speed, a farmer could survey and fertilize tens of acres in a day, or hundreds of acres per day with a multi-sensor system. This research was supported by NSF Grant #DMI-0319826 SBIR Phase I: Polarization Sensing of Stress Levels in Vegetation http://www.nsf.gov/awardsearch/showAward.do?AwardNumber=0319826 Source : Containerless Research, Inc. & National Science Foundation

Everybody loves Eric Raymond – A comic featuring esr, rms, Linus and others

Holy shit I’ve forgotten how to use Gimp and Inkscape it’s been so long. In fact, I still remember how to use them but they’ve changed so much! Luckily, they have so many awesome new features this strip took half the time to make – which brings the average down to a sweet 3.5 months or so. And GIMP now supports CMYK!! – expect ELER in printed book form by next Xmas! Assuming analogue books will still be available then. And that we have enough oil left to transport them around. The hiatus was due to upstream. Though normal programming may or may not resume shortly. Promises will not be made, guarantees surely broken, hope sold on ebay.

To translate touch, the brain can quickly rearrange its sense of the body

The brain is bombarded by information about the physical proportions of our bodies. The most familiar sensations, such as a puff of wind or the brush of our own shirt sleeve, serve to constantly remind the brain of the body's outer bounds, creating a sense of what is known as proprioception. In a new study, researchers report this week that the brain's ability to interpret external signals and update its sense of bodily self is more dynamic than had been previously thought and that such updates can happen very quickly, altering within a matter of seconds how body parts and individual touch sensations are perceived. The work is reported by researchers Frederique de Vignemont, Henrik Ehrsson, and Patrick Haggard at University College London. The information that is integrated in the course of proprioception comes from several different senses, including touch, pain, vision, information from muscles, and so on. The brain must combine all these information inputs to accurately perceive the external world through our body's interaction with it and also to produce a coherent sense of self. Because all these signals carry such different kinds of information, the brain must perform a constant juggling act in order to make sense of the body and the world. In the new study, the research team used a method called tendon vibration to induce a distortion of healthy volunteers' sense of their own bodies. When the biceps tendon of the right arm was vibrated, the subjects in the experiments felt within seconds that their right elbow was rotating away from the body, even though the arm was actually quite still. If subjects held their left index finger with their right hand while this happened, they felt their left index finger getting longer as they felt their arm move. The team then tested how these bodily illusions rearranged the sense of touch. They touched subjects with two metal rods on the left index finger, and asked them to judge whether the distance between the rods was greater or smaller than the distance between two additional rods touched on the forehead. When tendon vibration made the index finger seem longer than it really was, subjects overestimated the tactile distance on the index finger, relative to the forehead. The sense of touch was altered within seconds of applying the vibration, suggesting a very strong and fast link between the brain systems for touch and body position. The observations showed that abnormal input into one of the body's sensory systems produced a rapid and profound change in another sensory system: The brain had changed the way it interpreted the signals from the sense of touch. These links between different bodily senses show that the brain constantly updates its internal map, and they shed light on the dynamic and flexible nature of the body map that is used to interpret each new perception. de Vignemont et al.: "Bodily illusions modulate tactile perception." Publishing in Current Biology, Vol. 15, pages 1286–1290, July 26, 2005. DOI 10.1016/j.cub.2005.06.067 www.current-biology.com Source : Cell Press

One hit of crystal meth causes birth defects

A single prenatal dose of methamphetamine – commonly known as speed – may be enough to cause long-term neurodevelopmental problems in babies, say University of Toronto researchers. In research published in the August issue of Free Radical Biology and Medicine, U of T pharmacy and pharmacology professor Peter Wells and his colleagues determined that exposing pregnant mice only once to methamphetamine led to delivery of offspring with long-term neurodevelopmental problems, including reduced motor co-ordination. Methamphetamine is a potent and addictive stimulant. "We've known for a while that meth abuse during pregnancy is associated with low birth weight, cleft palates and other malformations but this is the first research demonstrating that even a single exposure can cause long-term damage," says Wells. "It's pretty remarkable that a single low dose can have such an effect. "It's an important finding, given the increasing use of club drugs among women of childbearing age. It has clinical implications, because it shows that the fetus is exquisitely sensitive." The developing fetus appears to be vulnerable to DNA damage from methamphetamine exposure because it hasn't yet developed the enzymes that protect it against free radicals – highly activated, destructive oxygen molecules that have been implicated in cancer and neurodegenerative diseases, says Wells. This vulnerability lasts from the embryonic stage through the later fetal period, times when organ structures and mental functions develop. "People usually think the last trimester of pregnancy is when developing brain function is most susceptible to damage, but in this case the brain is also affected by methamphetamine even in the earlier embryonic period," says Wells. Wells' next step will be to study women and their babies who have been exposed to drugs like methamphetamine that enhance free radical formation to see if the human damage is consistent with his mouse findings. He will also try to determine whether the methamphetamine causes other lasting damage in mice, such as impacts on learning and memory. "Methamphetamine has very different toxic effects in the fetal brain than in adult mice, which surprised me," says Wells. "In adults, you can see actual structural degeneration of the brain." U of T doctoral candidates Winnie Jeng and Andrea Wong and undergraduate Ryan Ting-A-Kee were also involved in this study. The research was supported by a grant from the Canadian Institutes of Health Research (CIHR). The doctoral candidates received awards from the CIHR/Rx&D Health Research Foundation, the American Society of Toxicology and the Natural Sciences and Engineering Research Council of Canada. Source : University of Toronto

Paul Graham

Want to start a startup? Get funded by Y Combinator.

Nanotech Moves Closer to Cure

When Dr. James Baker returned from the first Gulf War in 1991, his University of Michigan colleagues must have assumed the medical researcher's head had sustained a direct Scud missile hit. The good doctor came home with some pretty wacky ideas. Here was one of them: Instead of using live viruses to destroy diseased cells, why not send in man-made, nanoscale molecules with tiny tendrils that scientists could engineer to battle specific types of cancers? Remember, this was the early '90s. Few had even heard of the internet, much less "nanotechnology," which was then firmly the domain of futurists, and certainly not on the radar of respectable beaker slingers. "In fact, there was a lot of derision at NIH (National Institutes of Health) that this was not real science," Baker recalls. "But as it became clear that gene therapy was not going anywhere without different approaches, I think the reality of, the necessity of, bioengineering in this process became clear." Today, the National Cancer Institute is on its way to becoming a Nano Cancer Institute as it prepares to spend $144.3 million over five years on the engineered nanoparticles "approach" that Baker and just a few others had championed more than a decade ago. As for Baker, he's doing rather well in his corner office at the Center for Biologic Nanotechnology with a panoramic view of downtown Ann Arbor, Michigan. Baker had been involved in the Army's first attempts at DNA delivery of the adeno vaccine to combat acute respiratory illness among the troops. He found that not only was the body's immune system fighting off the viral-based vaccine, but the entire works were coming to "hard stops" at 150 nanometers. Things just did not get into cells very effectively beyond that. It seemed clear to Baker that engineered nanoparticles would have to become part of the solution if they wanted to really chase after the bad guys in the body. "If we now want to fix the dysfunction of cells that lead to most of the diseases that we're currently fighting, we have to engineer at the same scale as the cells," Baker says. That's the problem that was swirling around in Baker's head after the Gulf War. He wasn't the only scientist working on it, but he did have one advantage. He's located just 100 miles south of a nanotech pioneer: former Dow chemist Donald Tomalia, who had invented a type of particle called dendrimers. Tomalia realized – unfortunately about two decades before the rest of the world – that his man-made, tendriled molecule could be used in targeted drug delivery. Tomalia saw that Baker was one of the few scientists at the time who also saw the possibilities within these sticky little nanothings. "He was a medical guy who could understand this," Tomalia says. "I think he very quickly began to realize the important implications that dendrimers would have." All through the mid- and late '90s, Baker and Tomalia quietly experimented with these particles. A synthetic chemist and a medical researcher made for an odd couple at the time. Lack of cooperation and understanding between the scientific disciplines is one of the toughest challenges facing nanotech researchers. Cooperation may sound simple to those outside the academic world, but cross-disciplinary collaboration is not the way universities have traditionally been organized. U.S. National Nanotechnology Initiative officials often talk about "converging technologies," that is, connecting all the sciences – physics, chemistry, biology, information technology – and making connections as all these disciplines converge at the nanoscale. That's the thinking behind the University of Michigan's new Nanotechnology Institute for Medicine and the Biological Sciences, which Baker will head. "I think any university that doesn't develop collaborative centers like this is going to be frozen out," he says. The convergence of the sciences at Michigan has led to dramatic success of late. Baker's lab recently received a $6.3 million Gates Foundation grant to develop hepatitis B vaccines that can be delivered through the nose, rather than by needle. They will be able to survive outside a refrigerator, making them easier to use in developing nations. And a breakthrough announced in late June heralded a new kind of cancer therapy that acts as a kind of "Trojan horse," infiltrating cancer-cell receptors then turning the cancer against itself. "I think one of the things that's really important is we actually can, for the first time, show that something injected not only gets into the cancer tumor, but actually gets into the cancer cells themselves," Baker says. "This is very important for both diagnosis and therapy." The next challenge is getting any of this through the FDA, which is at once under pressure to speed up new drug approvals for an aging population, and to slow down the process in light of recent scandals involving bad side effects. "Celebrex, Vioxx, all of these drugs that popped up here recently with problems, are whole-body administered – they go everywhere," Tomalia says. "They think they know where they have gone in all minute detail, and they think they know every enzyme and every receptor site, but you never really quite know." The best-case scenario, Baker says, is nanotech-enabled cancer therapy in your doctors' office within five years. But that's assuming an accelerated approval process, being pushed by nanotech advocates, which is by no means a foregone conclusion. Left to the normal FDA process, it could be a decade or more. The ultimate goal: The extinction of cancer through early detection. Baker is optimistic. "We've all got relatives or friends who have died from this," he says. "The therapy is almost worse than the disease." If nothing else, perhaps the end of painful chemotherapy is in sight. "If we can make the therapy nontoxic ... then that's much more practical." When Nanopants Attack Water Filters Rely on Nanotech Building Blocks for a Tiny World Nano Killers Aim at Mini Tumors Check yourself into Med-Tech

Nasa looks into shuttle 'debris'

By Paul Rincon BBC News science reporter, at the Kennedy Space Center The events were captured in onboard video and the agency says it now needs to consider their significance. In one case, a heatshield tile seems to have been affected on the underside of the shuttle. Discovery's astronauts are to use a 15m-long robotic arm to inspect the orbiter's exterior. The arm is equipped with sensor and camera attachments. A full sweep of the shuttle's key surfaces will take several hours. It appears the tip of the shuttle's external fuel tank also hit a bird as it launched from Kennedy Space Center on Tuesday. Spot investigation John Shannon, STS-114 mission operations representative, pointed out video frames apparently showing a piece of heatshield tile breaking off from the underside of the shuttle. SHUTTLE RETURN TO FLIGHT Mission known as STS-114 Discovery's 31st flight 17th orbiter flight to ISS Payload: Raffaello Multi-Purpose Logistics Module Lift-off: 1039 EDT, 26 July Location: Kennedy Space Center, Launch Pad 39B Discovery crew: Collins, Kelly, Noguchi, Robinson, Thomas, Lawrence and Camarda Guide to key shuttle changes "We're very interested in that," he told reporters. "That's something we're going to get better pictures of on flight-day three." Mr Shannon said it could simply be that part of the black covering on the orbiter's underside was damaged exposing the heatshield tile. But he added that it was equally possible the tile itself had been dented or sheared. The missions operations representative also showed journalists video footage of a dark object falling from the external tank. Experts cannot yet determine its size, but it did not appear to hit the shuttle, they said. News outlets had reported details of this piece of debris falling off the tank earlier in the day. Parts and supplies Tuesday's successful launch was Nasa's second go at a lift-off in the current launch window. PERFECT FLORIDA DAY Everything seemed to go right for Nasa and the cheering spectators In pictures Nasa says it has learnt the safety lessons of the Columbia disaster, which cost the lives of seven astronauts, and has made this the most scrutinised shuttle flight ever. Columbia broke up as it attempted to re-enter Earth's atmosphere. Nasa has been considering the issue of bird-strike on launch Nasa had positioned more than 100 cameras, both on the ground and in the air, to capture as much detail as possible on Discovery's ascent into orbit. Discovery will take parts and supplies to the ISS and test new safety features such as a repair-kit for heatshield tiles and a 15m-long robotic arm that will inspect the shuttle for damage in orbit. Discovery is due to touch down at Kennedy Space Center on 7 August at 0546 EDT (0946 GMT; 1046 BST).

London bomb suspect arrested

London bomb suspect arrested Three women arrested suspected of 'harboring offenders' Police on Wednesday released this photo of a man wanted in connection with the bombing attempts. RELATED SPECIAL REPORT YOUR E-MAIL ALERTS Acts of terror London or or Create Your Own LONDON, England (CNN) -- Police on Wednesday arrested one of the four men they believe responsible for last week's attempted bombings of London's mass transit system, the head of Britain's anti-terror police branch said. Yasin Hassan Omar, a 24-year-old Somali with British residency, was arrested early Wednesday morning in Birmingham, England's second largest city about 160 kilometers (100 miles) north of London. Police allege that Omar, 24, was the would-be bomber of the city's Warren Street Underground station. Omar, who was alone, resisted arrest and was subdued after police used a Taser "stun gun," said Peter Clarke, head of the Metropolitan Police Anti-Terrorist Branch. No gunshots were fired, police said. Three other men were arrested elsewhere in Birmingham around the same time at 4:30 a.m. (11:30 p.m. ET Tuesday), police said. "This, of course, is an important development in the investigation," Clarke said. "However, I must stress how important it is for the public to remain watchful and alert. We are still looking for the other three men whose pictures we released," Clarke said, referring to the other suspected bombers. Wednesday night, police released a new picture of another of the suspected bombers. He is believed to have tried to set off a device at Shepherd's Bush Underground station. He and the would-be bomber of the city's Oval Station have not yet been identified by police. Clarke said a previously released picture of the Shepherd's Bush suspect was taken at Westbourne Park Underground station. In it, he is wearing a dark blue short-sleeve England soccer shirt and dark trousers. Police said they believe that after running from that station, he threw the shirt away on McFarlane Road near Wood Lane about 12:30 p.m. The latest picture shows him on a No. 220 bus wearing a white tank top with dark trousers. Police believe he got on the bus on Wood Lane about 1:20 p.m. and stayed until the end of the route at Mapleton Road-Wandsworth, Clarke said. He got off the bus at 2:07 p.m. near Garratt Lane, close to the Arndale Centre. "We need to know where he went when he got off the bus," Clarke said. "Until these men are arrested, they remain a threat," he said. When shown the image on a laptop computer, several neighbors of an apartment in Stockwell raided by police Wednesday night said they recognized the man in the tank top. "I'm 100 percent sure, 110 percent," one man told CNN. During the search of the ground-floor apartment in the Stockwell neighborhood, police arrested three woman on suspicion of "harboring offenders" in connection with the July 21 attempted bombings. They were taken to a police station in central London, where they remained in custody, Scotland Yard said. The raid in South London was near the Stockwell Underground station where three of the four bombers boarded their trains. Omar a resident since 1992 A nationwide manhunt has been under way since the July 21 partial detonations of backpack bombs in London. The attacks were similar to those on July 7 that killed 52 commuters and the four bombers. Both attacks targeted three underground trains and a double-decker bus. In closed-circuit television images from July 21 that were released by police, Omar is wearing a blue shirt as he jumps the turnstile to flee the Warren Street station, minutes after the backpack bomb failed to fully detonate. Omar came from Somalia in 1992 and is a legal permanent resident of Britain, the Home Office said. Although intelligence suggested that no explosives were in the house where Omar was arrested, about 100 nearby homes were evacuated as a precaution, Clarke said. Andy Wilkinson, a neighborhood resident, told the UK's Press Association he saw a dark-skinned man with curly hair being led away from a nearby residence in a white forensic suit and plastic handcuffs. "It was about 10 past five and all we could hear was a right racket -- people trying to break a door down," Wilkinson said. "I looked out of the window and the road was full of armed police and they had got the road closed off." Omar was taken to the high-security Paddington Green police station in London. The three other men were arrested more than three kilometers (two miles) away. They were held in a local police station. Police said Wednesday that one of five men previously arrested in London since July 21 -- none of them identified as key suspects -- had been released from Paddington Green. He was picked up Friday in a raid in Stockwell. The other four men were also detained after a series of raids across London in the days after Thursday's incidents. British Prime Minister Tony Blair said he was "greatly heartened" by the arrests in Birmingham, which he called "an important development." Eritrean suspect identified In addition to Omar, police have identified one other suspected bomber, Muktar Said Ibrahim. Ibrahim's family in London provided police with information that led to his identification and called on fellow citizens to do the same. Ibrahim, 27, arrived from Eritrea in 1990, and became a British citizen in 2003, according to the Home Office. He is suspected of targeting a double-decker bus in the city's East End. Residents of a north London building apartment raided Monday by Metropolitan Police said Omar and Ibrahim lived together. The raided apartment has been registered for the past six years to Omar, who until recently received a $550 monthly housing subsidy from the government. Anti-terrorist officers also searched and conducted forensic examinations at two other residences in north London Wednesday, according to a police statement. There were no arrests. One of the residences is in the same neighborhood where police Tuesday impounded a white Volkswagen as part of the July 21 probe. Metropolitan Police Commissioner Ian Blair said Tuesday the July 21 bombs, which failed to explode, were just as powerful as the July 7 ones, but there was "no direct link at the moment" between the two groups of attackers. The July 7 bombings were carried out by three British-born Muslims of Pakistani heritage who hailed from the city of Leeds, about a three-hour drive north of London, and a fourth British citizen, a Muslim convert of Jamaican birth who lived closer to London. Three of the July 7 bombers traveled to the city from Luton in north London, and five days later police found more than a dozen unexploded bombs in a car at the Luton train station, two sources familiar with the investigation told CNN. (Full story) CNN's Nic Robertson, Henry Schuster, Phil Hirschkorn and Andrew Carey contributed to this report. Home Page Get up-to-the minute news from CNN CNN.com gives you the latest stories and video from the around the world, with in-depth coverage of U.S. news, politics, entertainment, health, crime, tech and more. Home Page Get up-to-the minute news from CNN CNN.com gives you the latest stories and video from the around the world, with in-depth coverage of U.S. news, politics, entertainment, health, crime, tech and more.

Bush in a Word (Aaron Swartz: The Weblog)

from the Pew Research Center for People and the Press survey, via Chris Bowers Q.3F2 Please tell me what one word best describes your impression of George W. Bush. Tell me just the ONE best word that describes him. (OPEN-END. PROBE ONCE IF RESPONDENT ANSWERS "DON'T KNOW". ACCEPT UP TO TWO RESPONSES, BUT DO NOT PROBE FOR SECOND RESPONSE). July 2005* February 2005 May 2004 Early Feb 2004 May 2003 31 Honest 38 Honest 30 Honest 27 Honest 29 Honest 26 Incompetent 20 Good 29 Good 24 Fair 21 Good 24 Arrogant 15 Integrity 26 Incompetent 24 Leader 20 Arrogant 18 Good 15 Arrogant 26 Leader 21 Liar 16 Leader 18 Integrity 14 Incompetent 24 Arrogant 17 Arrogant 13 Great 15 Determined 13 Leader 16 Strong 14 Strong 12 Confident 13 Liar 11 Fair 15 Integrity 13 Excellent 12 Courageous 12 Stupid 11 Idiot 13 Idiot 13 Good 11 Aggressive 11 Idiot 9 Strong 11 Christian 12 Christian 11 Christian 11 Strong 9 Liar 10 Determined 12 Integrity 11 Determined 10 Leader 8 Excellent 10 Stupid 9 Stupid 11 Integrity 9 Christian 8 Trustworthy 9 Liar 9 Incompetent 10 Patriot/Patriotic 9 Great 8 Dishonest 8 Trustworthy 8 Dishonest 9 Cowboy 9 Okay 8 Poor 7 Aggressive 7 Confident 8 Competent 8 Fair 7 Conservative 7 Committed 7 Determined 8 Decisive 8 Sincere 7 Great 7 Dishonest 7 Idiot 8 Idiot 7 Aggressive 7 Sucks 7 Okay 7 Patriotic 8 President 7 Honorable 7 Christian 6 Dedicated 7 Ass 8 Strong 6 Inept 7 Honorable 6 Fair 6 Character 7 Adequate 5 Adequate 6 Dedicated 6 President 6 Poor 7 Excellent 5 Ass 6 Determined 6 War/warrior 6 Selfish 7 Fair 4 Persistent 6 President 5 Brave (N=748) (N=602) 4 Egotistical 6 Selfish 5 Confident 4 Greedy 5 Trying 5 Courageous 4 Jerk 5 Warmonger 5 Decisive 4 Patriotic 5 Ignorant 5 Dumb 4 Terrible 5 Terrible 5 Excellent (N=751) 4 Diligent 5 Great 4 Consistent 5 Honorable 4 Sincere 5 Straight-forward 4 Ineffective (N=897) 4 Inept (N=761) * The numbers listed represent the number of respondents who offered each response; the numbers are not percentages. created 2005-07-27T13:31:55 #

Weird crab spreading through UK

The sponge crab holds a living sponge on top of its shell to keep hidden, and scientists were shocked to discover the unusual beastie living near Bristol. When the critter was found off Lundy Island, scientists didn't recognize it at first, and, after taking photos, threw the creepy crustacean back. The crabs are normally only found off North Wales in the UK. It's hoped that the arrival of the crab off Lundy means they are returning to the area, where they were once common. The odd animals hold onto sponges with their back legs, and are covered in small hairs. They are so good at camouflaging themselves, they are pretty much impossible to spot unless they move. If they can't find a suitable sponge to crouch under, the clawed masters of disguise have been known to use bits of rope and even old flip-flops.

WorkHappy.net: killer resources for entrepreneurs

First, let me tell you a little story involving butterflies and bladders. I've spent the past few days at MicroConf. Just a phenomenal conference, full of like-minded folks, loaded with actionable content. Not to get too carried away, but it was a life-changer. I'd go on some more, but I don't want you competing with me for tickets next year. On the second day, Joanna Wiebe from Copyhackers selected a handful of sites from the audience to do a public "tear down" of in front of these 200 folks. 200 folks I admire and respect. I had submitted my baby, my brand-new, just launched site (DownDetect.com) ahead of time as a candidate to be selected. As soon as she took the stage, an angry mob of butterflies started attacking my internal organs. She opened the first site and started working it over and providing some great, if slightly brutal feedback. Really good stuff. After she moved to the next site I could see in her browser window that she had about 12 tabs open. It dawned on me that she was working her way through these open tabs, and that the open tabs were the sites she had selected for tear down. About eight tabs in, I saw the favicon for my site. The angry butterflies grew teeth. Sharp ones. And they pulled out pitch forks. And chainsaws. And congregated in my bladder. I figured 7 tabs was a lot of ground to cover, so I would have the time to address the sudden urge, and from where I was sitting in the very front row I quickly slinked out the back of the room to the bathroom. What a baby, I know. I emptied my bladder and the butterflies relocated to my stomach and heart. I hurried back to the conference room and what to my wondering eyes did appear as I walked in the room than my site, my baby, my precious up on the big screen. She had already started. The moderator was looking for the site owner to hand the microphone to. I pulled a hamstring sprinting to the front of the room, groping for the microphone like the final runner in a relay race. So here's what I learned, and how I dramatically improved the copy on my site in 5 minutes (and how you can too): After she said some nice things, Joanna pointed out the main problem with my copy - the language was all focused on me, and it should instead be focused on my prospect. I was selling myself, when I should be focusing on what's in it for them. In Joanna's own words: Talking about yourself -- even thinking about yourself -- when you write your copy will only do one thing: get in the way. It will shut down the sale. Which means that you are the biggest roadblock to better communication with your customers. This is the foundation of great copywriting: People don't care about you. They only care about themselves. You care about you. But no one else does. (Except yo' mama.) Your visitors want what they want. They do not "want" what you're trying to sell them. Your job then, is not to "try" to sell your visitors a product. You're trying to sell them themselves. Ok, so here's a fun little exercise, take a look at the version of my site Joanna (and everyone!) saw and see if you can spot the problems. To make it easier, I've color-coded my stupidity. BEFORE So as soon as I got home, I spent 5 minutes (and I'll need to spend more, we're not perfect yet) and turned those sub headings around. Check out the difference below (or see it here in the wild). AFTER Notice the difference? Yeah. Serious improvement. My humble thanks to Joanna for the help. I hope this gives you some ideas for your site. I highly recommend Joanna's email list, by the way. The first lesson she sends out addresses the same topic I've addressed here in even more depth. Permalink I've enjoyed recreational fishing since I was a kid. Over the years I've had the chance to fish and associate with some top anglers, and I've noticed something about them - they don't waste time in an unproductive location. If the fish aren't biting, they quickly move to a new spot. This applies to startup ideas too. Finding out if the market will respond positively has to be as early in the process as possible, and you should move on if it's not a fit. I've poured emberassing amounts of time into terrible ideas that I thought were brilliant, so please learn this principle from me, it will save you unspeakable time, money and shame if you do: The market does not care how long you worked on something or how well you did it. Effort is not rewarded. The market cares only if what you've done is a fit for their needs. This can be a crushing truth, especially for a craftsman. We take our startups very personally, and the more time we invest in them, the more personally we take them. But if we're serious about turning our venture into something that pays the bills, and grants us freedom, we have to accept and embrace this truth. There is no reward for sticking to something for a long time, if it's the wrong thing. If it's the wrong thing, if there is not a market fit, you fail. And unfortunately, there is no correlation between time invested and market fit. And very often we have no idea what's going to resonate, and what's not, even when we think we do. This is why building an MVP, and validated learning are so important. Before we get too carried away, we have to find out if the market wants what we're building. I leave you with a multimedia nugget for thought from the great Derek Sivers. (Incidentally, I highly recommend his book. Short and sweet, and full of similar insights, including the one shown in this video). Side note: An interesting benefit to the KickStarter (and similar) phenomena is that folks are pumping out ideas, and using KickStarter not just to raise money, but to validate their idea. This seems like a big deal, especially for hard goods that require a larger capital investment to get started. Permalink | Comments (0) What is it? LaunchRock: A service that provides a pre-launch page for your startup (you know, the "signup to be notified when we launch" type of site). Heres the one I created for a project I'm working on for startup founders (and those aspiring to be). Who makes it? LaunchRock Why is it the killerest? In addition to a nice pre-launch page, it has good social integration, encouraging those who sign up to share it with their friends via Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Tumblr or email. There are also some modest stats telling you your conversion rate, which can be helpful. It's fairly easy to use, and they've thought of a lot of details like a confirmation email, social integration where you can pre-seed what they say when they share, an ability to export all of your subscribers for easy loading into your favorite email sending system, and domain mapping (i.e. you can point your own URL to your page). If you feel too constrained by their limited template, you can embed the form on your own site, where you have more latitude. What could be improved? They offer a very limited ability to customize the design and layout for the fully hosted version. They have custom CSS "coming soon" which should help immensely. I was able to work around some of these limitations by using inline HTML and inline styles - which seem to be supported. It's fairly amenable to a little lightweight "hacking." How much does it cost? Free Rating? Reviewed by Carson McComas p.s. see also: Launch Effect which I liked a bit better. It's a WordPress theme with the same purpose. Permalink | Comments (0) There are few segments more exciting right now than alternative payment systems. Earth's collective contempt for the entrenched payment tech industry is ardent. This industry has abused users, built regulatory walls to competition, made things insufferable for customers, and as a result, put payment processing options nearly out of reach, especially for bootstrappers. Overcoming these hurdles is a huge barrier to progress. But the alternative payment world is red smoking hot right now, and I'm more excited about it than any other segment. The possibilities that are unlocked by this are exciting for entrepreneurs, especially bootstrappers. No merchant accounts. No gateways. No exorbitant fees, or draconian setup processes. Here are the most exciting ones: 2.9% + $0.30 Free for transactions under $10, $0.25 for over $10. $0.50 for bank payment, 3.5% for credit card payment The exciting ones for meatspace businesses. Square 2.75% for swipes, 3.5% for keyed entries iZettle $0.20 + 2.75% Intuit GoPayment 2.7% for swipes, 3.7% for keyed Permalink I call myself an entrepreneur, but to be honest, a lot of times I don't. When someone asks me what I do - I often punt. I feel like if I'm going to describe myself as an entrepreneur, the next sentence needs to explain what that means - what I've done, what successful business I've launched. And I don't have a good answer for that. Oh I've cobbled together a series of modest successes, and I'm managing to feed my family, but I haven't yet built something that I can point to with pride and say yes - that, I built that, and that is now what I do for living. The term "serial entrepreneur" always sits a bit odd with me too. Or maybe I'm just reluctant to call myself that. I mean, I've had numerous entrepreneurial ventures. Numerous! But the truth is that if one of them had been the success I thought it would be, I'd be doing that, not launching another one. There would be no serial succession to the next one. At least not for a long time. Serial entrepreneur sounds like a synonym for serial failure. Not always of course, there are plenty of examples of successes there (Mark Cuban, Jason Calacanis, Evan Williams). But Bill Gates wasn't a serial entrepreneur. Neither was Mark Zuckerburg. Or Jeff Bezos or Jason Fried. They're entrepreneurs. They built something and that thing is what they do now. They don't define themselves by serially starting companies. My goal isn't serial entrepreneurship, it's successful entrepreneurship. So where am I going with all this navel gazing? I've been thinking a lot about this lately. Maybe it's because I'm growing pensive on the verge of launching my next startup (I really do believe this is the one!), or because I regularly get emails from folks who have gutted out that first hard part of getting something out there and now they're trying to make it work. But I want to start a community of those of us who have gotten this far. I want to create a community of launchers. I just have this sense that there's a whole group of us out here in the trenches trying to make this work - and there are a whole bunch of us who have made it work, and are making it work, and another whole bunch who haven't made it work, but are destined to, because they won't settle for anything less, no matter what it takes. These folks? These launchers? These, I feel like, are people I can relate to. And I want a way to learn from them, and talk with them, and hear their stories, and I bet I'm not the only one, I bet you do too. And if I'm right about that, I hope you'll come over and sign up for my latest project. It's called Launch Happy, and with your help, I think it can become something really good. At a minimum, it'll help you expose your business to more people. But I'm hoping for even more than that, I'm hoping it'll help you make connections, and friends, and customers. I'm hoping that wonderful things will spring from it, and that the net result will be more entrepreneurs proud to call themselves that because they've made it work, they've achieved success, they've connected, and learned, and grown, and been cheered, and helped, and challenged, and taught and can point with pride to what they've done and say yes - that, I built that, and now that is what I do for a living. I think it can be something really good, and I hope you'll be a part of it. p.s. if you're not a launcher yet, but still want to follow along, please follow us on Twitter at @LaunchHappy or on Facebook and we'll keep you abreast. Permalink | Comments (2) What is it? Gumroad: A service that lets you "sell anything you can share" which is to say - anything you don't need to collect shipping information for. Each purchase ends with a download link. You create "links" that send you over to a Gumroad page where customers can enter an email address, credit card number, and boom - download what they purchased. (Here's an example I set up to sell one of my photos). Who makes it? Gumroad, Inc Why is it the killerest? It's not PayPal. Everything is elegant, simple and quick. For entrepreneurs, I could see using it to sell stuff like advertising slots, access to a beta release, an ebook, software, stuff like that. Here's a nice demo they put together so you can see how it would work. What could be improved? Your customers don't have to hassle with PayPal, but Gumroad does use PayPal to pay you what you earn. Direct deposit in my bank account would be a lot better. They also ask for a $10 minimum owed, and 60 days to pay you (I assume they pay quicker than that though). It's a touch buggy still (I created a link, and it created two for me - easy enough to delete one though). I'd love an embed option. Let me just drop a button on a page that opens up with this Gumroad goodness. Every PayPal button on the internet tied to an intangible could be replaced with it. It's a little pricey. How much does it cost? 5% + $0.30 per transaction Rating? Reviewed by Carson McComas Permalink | Comments (1) Today I was struck again by what an amazing time it is to build an internet startup. I was on a phone call with a startup in the early stages. They've got an awesome idea, a smart team, good connections, validated market research, a bunch of groundwork laid, and now they're ready to turn the idea into an internet business. Like many of us, they're bootstrapping it. They need an MVP . Five years ago, they'd be toast. Three years ago they'd be out of luck. Two or even one year ago it would have been really tricky to put it all together. Today? They've got amazing options. Here's the basic sitemap I helped them put together: They can cobble together various products and pieces which are very low cost, highly functional, and build something extraordinary. This isn't a panacea, of course. Pulling it off well is going to take some care and work, but they can do in a couple of months what would have previously been virtually impossible for a bootstrapper. And this option is available to all of us. With these resources we can focus less on the technology, and more on the business. Which means a potential for higher output, higher quality, and greater functionality for a fraction of the ramp-up time and cost. Mix in some creativity and smarts, and things are starting to get really awesome. We're in a golden age of internet startup possibilities. I'll leave you with this nugget from Seth Godin: Make something happen If I had to pick one piece of marketing advice to give you, that would be it. Now. Make something happen today, before you go home, before the end of the week. Launch that idea, post that post, run that ad, call that customer. Go the edge, that edge you've been holding back from... and do it today. Without waiting for the committee or your boss or the market. Just go. Resources from sitemap: Permalink | Comments (0) What is it? Launch Effect: A free WordPress theme anyone can use to quickly create a professional looking, virally inclined pre-launch page for your upcoming product website, app, service, etc.). Who makes it? Barrel LLC Why is it the killerest? First let me state that I'm saving you some trouble, because I did this the hard way first. For my latest venture I started by building a pre-launch site from scratch. It's a couple pages, right? How hard can it be? Well - to do well, actually - kinda hard. Or, time consuming anyway. Consuming of time you should be spending building your New Thing. 1. It's very easy to set up - virtually anyone can do it. I'm no WordPress guru, but I went from nothing to a fully launched site in just a few hours. First, I fired up a super cheap hosting account with my registrar NameCheap. Once my account was set up, I logged in, installed WordPress (literally a few mouse clicks), then downloaded the Launch Effect theme, uploaded and installed it in my WordPress, made a few tweaks, and my site was ready to go. 2. It's got built in social-sharing tools and viral spreading motivation This is perhaps the nicest feature and something you likely wouldn't have time to build yourself. And it's all baked in, and very easy to configure. How it works: After someone gives you their email address, they're presented with a thank you message, and a panel of social icons they can click to share. Subscribers are also given a unique tracking link. When they use that link (or any of the icons) to share, you and they will both be able to see how many folks they've sent to the site, and how many signed up themselves. Additionally, you can give them an incentive to share. On mine, I'm giving away a free lifetime account to someone who shares and leads someone else to sign up. 3. It's got great built in tracking As mentioned above, each person who signs up will show up in your admin panel, along with the number of clicks they've sent you, and how many of those have also signed up (plus conversion rate). Both you, and they can see these stats at any time. What could be improved? Tracking your referrals is too confusing for visitors. When a visitor shares, they have access to their referral, and conversion stats, but in order to see that information, they have to re-submit their email address into the signup form. Clever - but how on earth are they supposed to know that? There's really no good way to communicate that to them at this point. It needs to integrate with MailChimp and/or Campaign Monitor. First, it's very easy to export your signups in a CSV and import them into MailChimp - which, if you're only going to do that once, is no big deal. But ideally, you'd like to get an auto-response email to your signups. This would allow you to tell them about the referral stuff noted in my last complaint, as well as a few other bells and whistles that MailChimp offers. It's a bit hard to fully customize without touching the code. Out of the box, it probably does most everything you need, and you can certainly make a perfectly good-enough site without customization. But if what you want to do isn't exactly what the theme expects you to do, you'll need to dive into the css and/or php files. This is a minor niggle though, it has very solid customization constructs. It has only a small subset of the available Google Fonts to work with. That said, they do natively support TypeKit and MonoType. And I note, they're working improving it. This roadmap looks great. How much does it cost? Nothing (it's free) Rating? Reviewed by Carson McComas p.s. Here's the one I set up. If you make one, please share it in the comments below. Permalink | Comments (4) I enjoy entrepreneurship, startups, business and the like the same way my brother in law enjoys baseball and basketball. Which is to say, I'm a rabid, foaming-at-the-mouth fan. Rarely a day goes by that I don't read, study, research, observe, or consult on the topic. And like many of you, I'm constantly engaged in my own attempts at it. It captivates my attention like little else. I'm only a casual sports fan, so working this metaphor further will be perilous, but I'll just say that Gold Rush is as close as I'm going to come to the euphoria, mental swings, and irrational emotional investment that some folks have watching sports. Gold Rush is extra interesting to me because it has all the elements of an engaging startup story, but in a completely different context than my world. For the uninitiated (and my apologies for those outside the US who may not have access to it), Gold Rush is a TV series which follows a team of hard scrabble, go-for-broke, all-in, heart-and-soul, down-on-their-luck dreamers who aim to cash in on the current high price of gold by starting a mining operation in Alaska. Watching the sacrifices they make, the bond that builds between them, the impossible odds against them, and their pure unflagging determination in the face of a relentless wave of obstacles is, in a word, inspiring. The parallels to the startup world that you and I live in are myriad. There are probably some weirdos who appreciate entrepreneurism, yet don't like this show for some reason, but I can't imagine who. The (relative) ratings boom the show has enjoyed confirms that my affection for the show is not uncommon. If you enjoy a good story, an against-all-odds tale of struggle in realizing your dream, this is a bit of television well worth your time. If you haven't started yet, do yourself a favor and start with season one. Unfortunately they don't make it easy. But there are a couple options. Permalink | Comments (3) What is it? Answers.OnStartups.com BrightJourney.com: A question and answer site focused on Startups and Entrepreneurship. Who makes it? Stack Exchange (with a dash of clout from Dharmesh Shah) Why is it the killerest? Stack Exchange (the company behind this) have built a highly effective Question-and-Answer gamification format offering. They started with the absurdly successful Stack Overflow which is focused on answering software development questions, and applied the model to various other topics, including startups. All of us have questions as we venture into these challenging startup waters, and Answers OnStartups is a productive place ask them. Because of the reward system built into the site, you will typically get high quality, and varied answers from experienced folks who know what they're talking about. It also skews heavily toward online and software startups, which is where my own passion lies (as it does for many of you). What could be improved? I've been watching and participating for a few weeks now and I've had a great time, but two things could be improved: 1) The number of participants. What it has now is great, but I would love it to reach the level of some of the higher volume Stack Exchange sites. I know a bunch of you reading this have valuable insights to share, so get over there. 2) Some repetition in questions. Equity splitting, marketing, and funding questions occupy a large percent of the questions. That said, there are still interesting and helpful questions posted frequently. How much does it cost? Free Rating? Reviewed by Carson McComas Permalink | Comments (7) Finding a good domain name is hard. If you're like me, you've spent absurd amounts of time on this task. Including time which would be much better spent building your product/website/company. Here are a list of tools I use which have significantly reduced the time I spend looking for a good domain, and have also significanly improved the quality of the domain names I end up with. Domain Hole Panabee Name Station Bust a Name - takes a little getting used to, and is a bit painful to use, but can be valuable at getting you to think about connected ideas Value Drops, these guys update every day with quality domain names recently expired. Domai.nr helps you find creative url structures for that name you really, really want to use. Wordoid helps you make up names. Avail.io LeanDomainSearch - punch in a word, get a bunch of pairs Domize.com NameMesh And finally here's an even more comprehensive list of tools - dozens deep. Permalink | Comments (11) Rounding out my landing page coverage, I'd like to share some insights from a page in the wild that does a nice job incorporating the principles we've been discussing here. Stu Green, the creator, was kind enough to answer a few questions about what they're doing: How are you getting traffic? We have a few channels that put traffic through to Invoice Bubble. The best way to get solid traffic is by getting reviewed or getting featured in CSS galleries. We got a lot of traffic after being featured in a web gallery called Web Creme, plus we also had a few writeups and reviews on sites like MakeUseOf and Tuttoaster. How well is that traffic converting to signup? The social buzz really kicked up when we made Invoice Bubble free. We suddenly found that we were getting lots of traffic through social bookmarking because it changed from being another premium web app, to being a useful and FREE tool for freelancers. When that happened our signup conversion also shot up from about 2% to about 8% of all unique visitations, which is a massive jump - but one that you would expect given the very low risk factor for signing up (its free). Those are nice conversion rates. What principles are you employing on your landing page to achieve that success? Our landing page is simple. It says what it does on the tin "Free Online Invoice Software". Everything is big, clear and obvious with no messing around. We have clear call to actions to either "Get Started for Free", or to "Take the Tour". Every page basically ends up on the sign up page, so therefore people have two options, close the website or sign up. The only reason that someone wouldn't sign up is that they are not interested in using the app. Therefore with that clear choice in mind, we get a pretty good percentage that do end up deciding to sign up and use the app. How did you figure out these principles? The way that we learnt those principles is purely by trial and error. We have tried 30 day trials, we have tried having just a landing page and no Tour, we have tried really clear and bold headings on the landing page (as you see), and more long-winded explanations of the app, we have tried different pricing and tried ultimately making the app completely free. So its only by experimentation that we have learnt those lessons. One thing that we don't do on Invoice Bubble that we DO do on Project Bubble (the bigger brother app) is to show a video. I would say the most important thing when designing a good landing page is to be really clear about what the product offers, have clear calls to action (as you see on Invoice Bubble), but also show off the product in a video and give your users NO excuse not to click on the video. A human voice, visuals and music can do so much for your conversion rate than any ordinary text could ever do. When we put a video on Project Bubble it almost doubled our conversion rate, so we might do the same thing for Invoice Bubble in the future. Great insights Stu! Thanks for sharing. Stu Green is the managing director of Haloweb Ltd, a UK based web application development company who currently have 3 apps: Project Bubble (project management for small businesses), Invoice Bubble (invoicing for freelancers), and Halogy (a white label, easy-to-use CMS for agencies). Permalink | Comments (18) If you haven't seen the new Think Vitamin Membership offering from Carsonified, and you're a web developer of any kind, it's worth checking out. Below I've embedded one of their free videos (most are behind a pay wall) that does a great job of explaining some of the principles behind a proper landing page. They don't use that exact language, but you'll see the familiar principles at play. Enjoy. Permalink | Comments (6) Don't over-complicate things, a successful landing page is simple and focused. When visitors land on your page, they have a few questions in mind, and your landing page should answer them. Does it offer what I need? What does it look like? How much does it cost? And before they act, they also want to know: Can I trust you? Finally, they need a way to convert. This should not be hard to find, do, or figure out. A old designer trick that works well here is to sit back and squint your eyes at your landing page and see if it's obvious how to act. I've taken a few successful landing pages with different conversion methods, and done some of that work for you to illustrate you what I mean. As you look over these page screenshots, is it obvious how to convert? Permalink | Comments (4) This one is simple. The metric that matters when defining a "successful" landing page is profitability. You need to make more than you spend to bring the traffic. If you're spending X to get traffic, and you're profiting X-plus-anything after the conversion, you're successful. If not, you aren't. This might require a 25% conversion rate, or it might work with a 1% conversion rate. A couple of examples of a successful landing page: You are running an AdWords campaign, and you pay $1.00 per click and you have a 1% conversion rate. Your offering costs $150. Assuming you have less than $50 in labor and other costs associated with a conversion, you're profitable and have a successful landing page at a 1% conversion rate. You are giving way an eBook full of great, useful information. In the eBook you establish yourself as an expert. 25% of those who land on your page click the link and download your book. Of those who download the eBook, 0.2% (1 in 500) hire you to consult. You make $200/hr consulting and a typical gig is 25 hours. You're not spending anything explicitly to gain traffic, but you're hustling to spread the word using social media. Each month you get 4,000 visitors to your landing page (giving away 1,000 eBooks). That translates to two consulting gigs, or $10,000 which is enough to cover your overhead with enough left over to live the way you'd like. You're profitable at a 25% conversion rate. (btw, do you have a successful landing page? You should share it with us). Permalink | Comments (7)

Opinion | Learning From Lance

I recently spent time in Ireland, which has quietly become the second-richest country in the E.U., first by going through some severe belt-tightening that meant everyone had to sacrifice, then by following that with a plan to upgrade the education of its entire work force, and a strategy to recruit and induce as many global high-tech companies and researchers as possible to locate in Ireland. The Irish have a plan. They are focused. They have mobilized business, labor and government around a common agenda. They are playing offense. Wouldn't you think that if you were president, after you'd read the umpteenth story about premier U.S. companies, like Intel and Apple, building their newest factories, and even research facilities, in China, India or Ireland, that you'd summon the top U.S. business leaders to Washington to ask them just one question: "What do we have to do so you will keep your best jobs here? Make me a list and I will not rest until I get it enacted." And if you were president, and you had just seen more suicide bombs in London, wouldn't you say to your aides: "We have got to reduce our dependence on Middle East oil. We have to do it for our national security. We have to do it because only if we bring down the price of crude will these countries be forced to reform. And we should want to do it because it is clear that green energy solutions are the wave of the future, and the more quickly we impose a stringent green agenda on ourselves, the more our companies will lead innovation in these technologies." Instead, we are about to pass an energy bill that, while it does contain some good provisions, will make no real dent in our gasoline consumption, largely because no one wants to demand that Detroit build cars that get much better mileage. We are just feeding Detroit the rope to hang itself. It's assisted suicide. I thought people went to jail for that? And if you were president, would you really say to the nation, in the face of the chaos in Iraq, that "if our commanders on the ground say we need more troops, I will send them," but that they had not asked? It is not what the generals are asking you, Mr. President -- it is what you are asking them, namely: "What do you need to win?" Because it is clear we are not winning, and we are not winning because we have never made Iraq a secure place where normal politics could emerge.

You Don't Know Jack About Firefox!

If you feel that the Web has lost its sparkle, that’s probably because you’re slogging across it in an old browser. I’m over here on the other side, and the grass is not only greener: there are none of those microscopic grass bugs that cause nasty rashes! Firefox Secrets This excerpt is taken from Firefox Secrets, SitePoint’s new release, by Cheah Chu Yeow. Firefox is revolutionizing the way people browse the Web. Don’t get left behind: grab yourself a copy of Firefox Secrets and be part of the revolution! The title contains over 290 pages of Firefox tips, tricks and hacks, providing invaluable pointers to help you customize the browser to your specfic preferences. It starts with some of the better-known tweaks, such as search customizations and favourites, password, and history management. But later chapters challenge even the most hardened Firefox devotee, revealing the inner workings of Web developer extensions, RSS feed subscripton, and the little-known about:config interface. This sample should give you a taste of the action. It begins at Chapter 2, Essential Browsing Features, which outlines the must-have functionality that any Firefox user should use to their advantage. We then skip to samples from Chapter 6, Tips, Tricks, and Hacks, and Chapter 7, Web Development Nirvana, through which you can roll up your sleeves and get your hands dirty tweaking the behind-the-scenes capabilities of this powerful browser. To find out more about Firefox Secrets, visit the book’s information page, or review the contents of the entire publication. As always, you can download this excerpt as a PDF if you prefer. And now, to Chapter 2. Chapter 2. Essential Browsing Features This chapter is all about moving forward to browse the Web with a new sense of style. We’ll investigate the major features of Firefox and I’ll show you how to use them. You’ll learn how to explore the Web more efficiently, and with fewer interruptions. You’ll also see how you might (if you so choose) let go of a few old Web surfing habits that may be holding you back; window management habits and Web search habits are two very important examples. There may even be pictures of attractive models, both male and female. Okay, there are no models. Let’s explore Firefox! Tabbed Browsing Tabbed browsing has been called “the best thing since sliced bread and the biggest fundamental improvement in Web browsing in years,” by Walter S. Mossberg, Staff Reporter of The Wall Street Journal. It has also been criticized, rejected and labeled a useless non-innovation. You must be wondering what the big deal is with tabbed browsing and which point of view is right. You might also be curious about which side of the argument I, your intrepid author who pretends to know what’s best for you, am on. You’ll find out soon enough! If you’re a stranger to tabbed browsing, you’re probably trapped in a somewhat old-fashioned Web surfing pattern. Perhaps you click on an interesting link, wait for that link to load, then press the Back button when you’ve finished reading that new page. Alternatively, perhaps you right-click (or context-click on Mac OS X) on a hyperlink and select Open in New Window on those occasions when you don’t have time to wait for the new page to load. Either way, prepare to be blown away when you see how effectively tabbed browsing eliminates waiting and unnecessary backwards and forwards tracking. You’ll be wondering how you could ever have been satisfied browsing one Web page at a time in a single window. Those who have already made the leap may still need some convincing as to why tabbed browsing is better than browsing with multiple windows. I’m here to encourage you to consider the benefits. Let’s learn everything about use of tabbed browsing in Firefox. But remember: you are not forced to use it. If you’re more comfortable with a single window per Web page, then that’s your choice. Don’t deny yourself the possibility of a better alternative, though. A Short History and a Warning Tabbed browsing is not that new an idea; in fact, it wasn’t invented by Firefox. It’s probable that NetCaptor, a third-party program that provides an alternative tabbed browsing interface for Internet Explorer, pioneered this approach. The Mozilla Application Suite followed hot on the heels of that tool, and more recently, Opera has, too. Opera developed a Multiple Document Interface (MDI), which is not the same as the Tabbed Document Interface (TDI) of tabbed browsing; Opera has added a faux-tabbed browsing interface in Opera 7.60 preview 3 (and later). Firefox, being a derivative of the Mozilla Application Suite, naturally inherited its tabbed browsing capability. Of course, spreadsheet tools like Microsoft Excel have used tabs in the worksheet display area for a long time. Currently, most graphical browsers support tabbed browsing. A quick (and incomplete) list of tab-enabled browsers reads: Firefox, Opera, Mozilla, Safari, Konqueror, Netscape, OmniWeb, and Camino. This list doesn’t include programs like NetCaptor, Maxthon, Avant Browser, and Crazy Browser, which add tabbed browsing functionality to Internet Explorer. The only notable exception is Internet Explorer itself, which may possibly be feature-enhanced with tabs in version 7.0. It’s important to realize that the add-ons that provide tabbed browsing functionality in Internet Explorer (such as the aforementioned NetCaptor, Maxthon, and kin) carry the same faults as the Internet Explorer engine, since they are no more than superficial “skins” over this product. This means that, when you use one of these variant browsers, you remain open to the set of security risks implied by Internet Explorer. Tabs vs. Multiple Windows Here I am, stepping onto my soapbox and making the case for tabbed browsing against the alternative: multiple browser windows. Naturally, I’ll use Internet Explorer as the prime example for the case of multiple browser windows, since it’s the most popular tab-free browser. I’ll make objective arguments (I hope!) for both tabbed browsing and multiple windows, and leave it to you to make the decision as to which option suits you best. Organizational Differences Tabbed browsing doesn’t prevent the use of multiple windows; in fact, you can opt to use a browser that supports tabbed browsing in the same way as you use Internet Explorer (i.e. displaying a single window per Web page). You can use this compatibility to your advantage, mixing and matching both styles to suit your needs. Tabbed browsing groups related tabs in a single window, so you can have one window of tabs for work, another window for email and personal stuff, and so on. Tabbed browsing also lets you keep related tabs in a logical group. Multiple windows, on the other hand, are just that: a single window displays a single Web page. There’s not much I can say to help the old-style multiple window case, even though I want to be objective. One small advantage is that closing a non-tabbed window dismisses only the single page it displays. Closing a tabbed window can dismiss a whole set of pages, some of which you may have meant to keep. Managing Multiple Web Pages It’s second nature for most of us to work with multiple windows simultaneously. Naturally, we expect that those windows can be operated in a manageable way, but the crunch really comes when we have a large number of Web pages open. Does Figure 2.1 below, which shows the Windows taskbar, look manageable to you? There are 14 browser windows open! Figure 2.1. Using multiple browser windows in IE. I know I’d have a hard time finding the Web page I wanted here, particularly as each taskbar button shows the same unhelpful Internet Explorer icon. One solution, of course, is to use the “Group similar taskbar buttons” option that’s available on Windows XP; Linux KDE and Gnome users have an equivalent feature. Grouping helps – at least you can see the page titles, as shown in Figure 2.2. Personally, though, I dislike this feature because it requires me to click twice to reach the particular window I want. Figure 2.2. Grouping IE windows makes browsing slightly easier. In my view, tabs are a better solution. Figure 2.3 shows the same Web pages opened in tabs in Firefox. Tabbed browsing suffers the same page title truncation problem as the taskbar, although a few more letters show in the given tab space. But, with the same number of windows open, it’s still hard to work out which page is the one I want. At least the tabs display helpful icons (called favicons) for Websites that provide them. You can see that about half of the tabs displayed in Figure 2.3 have favicons. Figure 2.3. Multiple tabs displaying in Firefox. Another redeeming feature of tabbed browsing is that this system allows you to juggle more Web pages than would be possible using multiple separate windows. You can handle more Web pages because there’s no competition for space on the tab bar (the section of the display that holds the tab names and icons). Multiple window browsing requires each IE window to compete with other open programs for space on the taskbar. That includes non-IE windows, the system notification area at the bottom right, the Start bar, the Quick Launch bar, and any other bars you may happen to have configured. Which solution stands out? Well, both have merits. Firefox helpfully displays an indicative icon (a favicon) for different Websites, which, to my mind, is much more helpful than the showing the same “e” icon for every page. These displays vary a little between the Macintosh and Linux desktop environments, but I’m sure you get the picture. Avoiding Context Pollution There is a little issue I like to call “context-switching pollution.” Application context-switching occurs when you switch from one window to another on the desktop. My apologies to techies for this simplification and my abuse of the term “context-switching.” In Windows, you do that by clicking on a taskbar item, or by pressing Alt-Tab to bring up another window. Mac OS X users are probably big fans of Exposé. In Linux, depending on your Desktop Environment, you may have Windows-like Alt-Tab context-switching, or even an Exposé-like feature. When you context-switch, Windows displays an icon (a context object) for each available window; you then pick the one you want. Now, if you have tabbed browsing in place, you’ll probably have a few windows open at most. In fact, most of the Firefox users I know have no need for more than a single window to hold all their tabs. I usually stick to a single window, myself. You can open as many tabs as you want within a window, and the bonus you receive is this: you have just one context object for that set of tabs. One window: one context object. By comparison, imagine that you have multiple IE windows open: one for each Web page. Each of these windows counts as a context object. And you have a bad case of context-switching pollution, my friend! Figure 2.4 shows what context-switching pollution looks like. Figure 2.4. Context-switching pollution in Windows XP. How are we ever going to quickly find the window we want without some furious Windows-style Alt-Tabbing? Figure 2.5 shows a similarly cluttered summary delivered by Exposé on Mac OS X. Although Exposé fares better than the Windows context-switcher, you’re still left to perform laborious squint-and-click selection. Tabbed browsing reduces those nasty multiple windows into individual tabs in a single window – two or three windows at most. Bye-bye, context-switching clutter! Productivity Differences When you read a Web page in a tabbed browser, you can open interesting links in “background” tabs, which will load those pages as you continue to read the original. You can access those new pages in your own time, once you’ve finished with the current page. By then, they will likely have finished loading, and will be ready to view. When you use a single window per Web page, you have to open interesting links in new windows to achieve the same effect. In Internet Explorer, this will open a new window, which then has the “focus:” it’s brought to the front of all other windows. This stealing of focus may or may not be what you want. If it isn’t, too bad, you just have to navigate back to the original window again. You can’t change this behavior in IE; in Opera, at least, there is an ‘Open behind’ option that keeps the focus on the current page. In a tabbed system, you’re able to tell the browser whether or not to open new tabs in the background, and when you want them to steal the focus. We’ll see how to do both later. Figure 2.5. Exposé pollution on Mac OS X. I’ve found opening links in background tabs to be the most productive and efficient method of Web browsing. There is a near-perfect match between the basic concepts of Web browsing, and of opening interesting links in background tabs. Think about it: Web pages are built on hypertext, which means that there are always hyperlinks to other Web pages. Some links may interest you; most probably won’t. You’ll want to visit those links you do care about, so you click on them. But, wait! We’re talking about “links,” not “a link.” Usually, more than a single link will catch your attention (especially when using Google or one of the other search engines). You’ll want to visit all those interesting links, and it’s a natural process to open those links as you read the current page, so that you aren’t distracted from the current task, and visit them when you’re done. Tabbed browsing allows you to do that. IE doesn’t, because it steals focus when you open links in a new window. The Verdict Needless to say, tabbed browsing makes a very strong case for itself. I loved tabbed browsing the first time I tried it (in the Mozilla Application Suite). To me, it feels like the way the Web was meant to be browsed! There is more to tabbed browsing than tabs alone, as we’ll see as we review the other features of Firefox. Firefox is built around the tabbed browsing paradigm, and, throughout this discussion, we’ll explore instances of how this integration can be used to further improve your browsing experience. Using Tabs By now, you’re probably convinced of the superiority of tabbed browsing – or are, at least, willing to give it a try! In this section, we’ll see how to use tabbed browsing in Firefox. Opening, Closing and Changing Tabs Opening a new tab is easy; it can be done in many ways. The simplest way to open a new tab is the middle-click. Middle-clicking (or scroll wheel-clicking) on a link creates a new tab and loads the linked page into it. This is also the most efficient way to open links, so it’s worthwhile to learn to middle-click if you aren’t used to doing so. Most people aren’t even aware that scroll wheels are clickable, but you can simply click the wheel as if it were a button, as the wheel has both button and scrolling functions. If you have a three-button mouse, just click away. If you have a two-button mouse with a scroll wheel, middle-clicking can be a bit disconcerting at first. On Mac OS X, use command-left-click instead. If you like middle-clicking, you can make this a standard on the Macintosh by reassigning command-click to the mouse wheel (middle button) via the Mac OS X mouse driver. Note that if you miss the link with the mouse pointer when middle-clicking, Firefox goes into “free scroll” mode, which is probably not what you’re after. If that happens, click again while the mouse pointer is still away from any links, and you’ll be back to normal. Here are a few other ways to open tabs: Ctrl-T opens a new, empty tab. opens a new, empty tab. Right-click (or context click on the Mac) a link, and select Open Link in a New Tab from the resulting context menu. Hold Ctrl down while clicking a link. down while clicking a link. Type a URL into the location bar, then hit Alt-Enter . This loads the URL in a new foreground tab. . This loads the URL in a new foreground tab. Press trl-Enter when a link is selected (for example, after you’ve run a page search for it and the link is highlighted). when a link is selected (for example, after you’ve run a page search for it and the link is highlighted). Drag a URL (from a Web page or an external application) and drop it onto the tab bar. Closing tabs is also easy and flexible: simply middle-click on a tab’s description (the bit that sticks up above the tab content). You can also use Ctrl-W to close the current tab, or you can right-click on the tab and select Close Tab. Choose whichever groove suits you. Finally, you can click on the Close Tab icon, which appears as an “X” on the right-hand end of the tab bar, and “Poof!” – no more tab. Figure 2.6 shows the Close Tab icon as it appears on the tab bar. Figure 2.6. The Close Tab icon adjacent to the tab bar. Once you’ve got your tabs set up, switching focus between them is easily done: just click on the required tab. Less obvious ways to switch tabs are to use Ctrl-Tab to switch focus to the next tab (to the right of the current tab), and Ctrl-Shift-Tab to access the previous tab (to the left of the current tab). This is very useful if you’ve got your hands on the keyboard most of the time. Tab-Related Preferences Let’s take a look at the available user preferences that are related to tabs and tabbed browsing. Start Firefox and choose Tools > Options (Windows), Firefox > Options (Macintosh) or Edit > Preferences (Linux) from the menu bar, then select the Advanced panel. You should see a dialog box that’s something like the one shown in Figure 2.7. Figure 2.7. Tabbed browsing preferences in Firefox 1.0. Note that the options panel has been redesigned slightly for Firefox 1.1 and beyond: there, you must click a tab rather than an icon to see this information. Figure 2.8 shows the shape of things to come. Figure 2.8. Tabbed browsing preferences in Firefox 1.1 and beyond. You can see that, although there’s a little reorganization, the options are much the same in both versions. Here’s what each preference does: Open links from other applications in: If you click on a link displayed in an another program, such as Microsoft Word or Adobe Acrobat Reader, this preference dictates how that link will be displayed by Firefox. I prefer to have links from other applications open in a new tab in the most recent window, because I usually use a single window, and I don’t want to lose the Web page on my most recent tab. Of course, links will only load in Firefox if Firefox is set as your default browser. If you click on a link displayed in an another program, such as Microsoft Word or Adobe Acrobat Reader, this preference dictates how that link will be displayed by Firefox. I prefer to have links from other applications open in a new tab in the most recent window, because I usually use a single window, and I don’t want to lose the Web page on my most recent tab. Of course, links will only load in Firefox if Firefox is set as your default browser. Force links that open new windows to open in: This is a newish feature that can be used to tame popup windows: check the box to turn it on. Instead of popups launching in a separate, new window, or being blocked by the popup blocker (discussed later), this option lets that new content be created inside an existing tab or an existing window. This option is available only in Firefox versions 1.1 and later. This is a newish feature that can be used to tame popup windows: check the box to turn it on. Instead of popups launching in a separate, new window, or being blocked by the popup blocker (discussed later), this option lets that new content be created inside an existing tab or an existing window. This option is available only in Firefox versions 1.1 and later. Hide the tab bar when only one Website is open If checked, this hides the tab bar when only one Web page is open. Personally, I have this unchecked (it’s checked by default), because it’s disconcerting to have the tab bar disappear and re-appear. This option was made the default as a deliberate design decision to enable users who don’t use tabbed browsing to enjoy more screen real estate. Users of tabbed browsing, however, will probably prefer to have this option unchecked. If checked, this hides the tab bar when only one Web page is open. Personally, I have this unchecked (it’s checked by default), because it’s disconcerting to have the tab bar disappear and re-appear. This option was made the default as a deliberate design decision to enable users who don’t use tabbed browsing to enjoy more screen real estate. Users of tabbed browsing, however, will probably prefer to have this option unchecked. Select new tabs opened from links This is the preference I was talking about earlier, which allows you to choose whether new tabs open in the background, or steal focus from the current page. Checking this option will cause links opened in new tabs to steal focus. I recommend that you leave this unchecked to gain the productivity benefits I mentioned earlier. Note: Those who have the Select new tabs opened from links preference set one way or the other can reverse their setting temporarily with the Shift key modifier. For example, if you’ve set Firefox up so that new tabs opened from links load in the background, but you want a particular link to open in the foreground, just hold on to the Shift key when clicking the link (i.e. Shift-middle-click, or Ctrl-Shift-left-click). This is the preference I was talking about earlier, which allows you to choose whether new tabs open in the background, or steal focus from the current page. Checking this option will cause links opened in new tabs to steal focus. I recommend that you leave this unchecked to gain the productivity benefits I mentioned earlier. Warn when closing multiple tabs This option will display a warning dialog if you take an action to close more than one tab simultaneously, as will occur if you try to close a window in which multiple tabs are open. This is a useful warning that can prevent you from accidentally closing a window full of tabs, but it could be annoying if you mean to close that window. Figure 2.9 shows this warning. Figure 2.9. Warning dialog shown when closing multiple tabs simultaneously. As you can see, you don’t have to change any of the options if you are a “normal” user: Firefox is built so that sensible configuration choices are available from the start. A Single Homepage: So 1999! Another good thing about tabbed browsing is that tabbed browsers are no longer stuck with a single homepage. If you’re like most other Web surfers, you probably have more than one favorite Web page: pages that you absolutely must visit the first time you launch your Web browser. I, for example, have a total of eight URLs that I want to check at the start of every Web surfing session. What’s a user of a Single Document Interface (SDI)Web browser – Internet Explorer, for example – to do? A Single Document Interface (SDI) is, simply put, a way to organize applications into individual windows, one for each application (or each instance of an application). If you’ve used Internet Explorer, you already know what an SDI is. Well, they’d better start looking through their bookmarks! Those lucky users of tabbed browsers, on the other hand, can set multiple homepages and load all of their favorite pages at once. Figure 2.10 illustrates the format required for setting multiple homepages via the Options dialog box. Figure 2.10. Specifying a tabbed set of homepages. Note the vertical bar (|) that separates each URL: one URL is shown per tab. You simply load the preferred Web pages into tabs, and mark the set as your homepage. For example, if you want https://www.sitepoint.com/ and http://www.spreadfirefox.com/ to be your homepages, load them up in Firefox, go to Tools > Options > General (or Firefox > Preferences > General on Mac OS X, or Edit > Preferences > General on Linux), then click the Use Current Pages button. Alternatively, you can hand-enter the URLs you want to set as your homepages in the Location(s) text box, separating each using the pipe character (|) as shown above. For example, if you want sitepoint.com and Spreadfirefox.com to be your homepages, enter https://www.sitepoint.com/|http://spreadfirefox.com/ into the Location(s) textbox. The pipe character key is located near the Backspace key on most PC keyboards, and is represented by two vertical dashes placed on atop the other. A third approach is to click on the Use Bookmark… button, and then select the bookmark folder that contains the bookmarks you want to use as your homepages. We’ll cover bookmarks in more detail later. Setting more than a single homepage does have a disadvantage, though. If all you want to do is a quick Web search, Firefox startup is too clever (or perhaps too dumb), and insists upon loading your entire set of homepages instead. This does slow things down a bit, especially on a dial-up connection, because loading eight Web pages is almost certainly slower than loading just one. You can always press Ctrl-T to get a new tab and turn eight into nine, if you’re feeling impatient. You can then type your desired URL into the ninth tab and have it load at (hopefully) more than one-ninth of its normal rate. Despite the performance implications, it’s hard to deny the convenience of loading up multiple Web pages at once, and it’s even harder not to feel sorry for those poor Internet Explorer users still facing dilemmas like, “Do I want Yahoo! email as my homepage, or should I set it to sitepoint.com instead?” With Firefox, you can avoid such decisions. Just set all your favorite Web pages as your homepage and be done with it! Back, Forward and Home Buttons Now, Firefox is a tabbed browsing Web browser, right? Of course it is. So it would make sense if Firefox could open the previous page in a new tab if you middle-click on the Back button, right? In fact, this is exactly how Firefox behaves. You can middle-click (command-left-click on Mac OS X) on all of the Back, Forward, and Home buttons in the toolbar to open the corresponding link(s) in a new tab (or tabs). If your homepage is a set of four pages in separate tabs, middle-clicking on the Home button will add four tabs to your current tab set. Figure 2.11 reminds us of what these major buttons look like. There’s no special tab action for the Reload or Stop buttons. Figure 2.11. Firefox’s toolbar icons. The provision of tab support within the main browser buttons clearly demonstrates that tabbed browsing is part and parcel of Firefox’s design. It’s neither an afterthought nor a bolted-on feature. Search and Search Tools Search: you can’t escape it as a fundamental Web surfing activity. Well, perhaps you can if you have the uncanny ability to guess URLs that give you the exact Web page you wanted. A good dab of clairvoyance is probably necessary as well! “Hmm… Let’s see. Are there any good Firefox ebooks online? I shall use my Powers of Uncanny Deduction to find out…” (Supernatural pause.) “Ah, I’ll go to http://firefox-book.com/.” Does that even sound remotely possible? Well, if there was a Website at http://firefox-book.com/ (there isn’t), it would probably have something to do with a book on Firefox. Relying on your powers of deduction is, in the end, unlikely to produce results, and besides, Uncanny Deduction is tremendously exhausting! This rigmarole underscores the reality that Search is an integral part of using the World Wide Web. You can’t find the information you want using hit-and-miss techniques. Instead, we use search tools that offer systematic solutions: search engines, directories, and similar online services. Examples of search are everywhere. Are you looking for the scoop on your favorite band? Perhaps you’re trying to learn Java programming? Google is your best bet. Are you reading up on the latest in flux capacitors and time travel for your thesis? Run a search over at ScienceDirect or arXiv.org. Looking for a good computer book, self-improvement manual, or Dragonlance novel? I’m a Dragonlance fan, in case you’re wondering. I’m not into self-improvement books, though. (It’s more fun to write your own D&D campaign settings – Ed.). Amazon.com has a nice search feature that yields customer reviews and recommendations. If search is an integral part of the Web, it follows that it should also be an integral part of your Web browser. Firefox promises unobtrusive and integrated search functionality. The Firefox developers know what you want, and they give it to you. I wish all software projects did that! Here, we take a detailed look at Firefox’s search-related features and see how you can best employ them to make things easy for yourself. There’s More than One Way to Find it! That’s right: There Is More Than One Way To Find It (TIMTOWTFI). Search is an integrated feature in Firefox, but it’s integrated in several ways. There are many separate search features and several different starting points from which you can perform a search. Each method of searching is convenient for its particular situation. For example, you can search for the meaning of a word or phrase (say, “blogosphere”) on a Web page by highlighting it, then context-clicking and selecting the context menu entry Search Web for “blogosphere.” Figure 2.12 shows this technique at work. Figure 2.12. Context Web searching for highlighted text. Alternately, you can surf to the search engine’s homepage and type your search terms into the form (not that this is a Firefox feature, but it is a way to perform a search). Or you can… but let’s put an end to these trivial examples and dive straight into discussing the more effective and efficient ways that you can search using Firefox. The Search Bar: Drunk on Search! When you first launched Firefox, you probably noticed that there were two textboxes into which you could type text. One of these is the location bar, into which you can type URLs; the other has a funny looking “G” next to it. Figure 2.13 shows this corner of the browser. Figure 2.13. Search bar on the right, location bar on the left. The “G” is actually an icon for the Google search engine, and this textbox is called the “search bar.” If you type in a search phrase, and hit Enter, Firefox will take you to the Google search results page for that phrase. Go ahead and try it out for yourself: it’s a very convenient arrangement. No longer do you have to type in http://www.google.com/, wait for it to load, and then search using the standard form. The search bar saves a good three seconds each time you do a search – possibly more if you’re on dial-up. Since the average Web surfer performs 12 searches per hour, that’s a good 36 seconds saved for every hour spent online, or 14.4 minutes per day, or 3.65 days per year! This figure was derived through a complex process called guessing! Try doing a search on Google for “36 seconds per hour in days per year.” Google’s calculator kicks in and does the conversion for you! I knew Google’s calculator function was really smart, but this smart?! Imagine what you could do with those 3.65 days. You could take a three-day vacation and still have 0.65 days left in which to do nothing. When the Firefox folks say that Firefox helps make your online experience more productive, they aren’t just boosting the marketing hype: the productivity increases are real. Using the Search Bar like a Pro The search bar is easy to use, but you can do a lot more with it than merely search Google. Learn these other tricks before you embarrass yourself in front of your Firefox evangelist friends! To start with, hitting Enter loads the search results page in the current tab. At times, it may be more convenient to load in a new tab. For cases like this, hit Alt-Enter instead of just Enter. The shortcut keys that place the input cursor in the search bar are Ctrl-K and Ctrl-E – you can use either. If, like me, you don’t like to take your hands off the keyboard, those shortcuts are very useful. The way I search is to hit Ctrl-E, type in my query, and then hit Alt-Enter to specify a new tab. You can also search using drag and drop. Simply select a piece of text (from any drag and drop-capable program, not just Firefox), and drag it into the Firefox search bar. And, if you’re thinking of dragging and dropping text from a Firefox Web page specifically, there is an Even Better Way! Let me keep you in suspense for now: we’ll come back to this shortly. Adding More Search Engines You aren’t restricted to searching on Google, even if it is the best search engine around and complemented by totally cool software. You can easily add other search engines, like AltaVista, AllTheWeb, and even the new kid on the block, Clusty. To do so, click on the G icon. You should see a drop-down like the one shown in Figure 2.14, which lists the search plugins installed by default in the Firefox product. To search with a different search engine – say, Amazon.com – simply select that item from the drop-down. The icon to the left of the search box will change from the G icon to its Amazon equivalent. Now, any searches you perform through the search bar will be run on Amazon.com (try searching for “Firefox”). Naturally, everyone has his or her own specific needs and favorite search engines. You’ll probably be wondering how to add a new option to the search bar, and you might have guessed that you simply click the Add Engines item in the drop-down to do so. Choosing that item takes you to Firefox Central, where you can add other search plugins. Figure 2.15 shows a slice of that page. Figure 2.14. Adding and changing search engines. Figure 2.15. Adding new search engines at Firefox Central. Figure 2.16. Adding the Wikipedia search plugin. To add a particular search engine, just click on the appropriate link. Let’s add the search plugin for Wikipedia (a very useful and comprehensive online encyclopedia). You should see the confirmation dialog shown in Figure 2.16 after you click on the Wikipedia search plugin link. Click OK, and you’re done! You can now see Wikipedia in the search bar drop-down. Simply select it to search Wikipedia, as shown in Figure 2.17. Figure 2.17. Successful installation of the Wikipedia search option. If you want to add a search engine that isn’t on the provided list, go to the Mycroft project Website, which offers a collection of search plugins for many sites. Search for the plugin you want, or browse the search plugins categories. Over a thousand search plugins are listed here, so there’s definitely something for everyone. Removing a search engine from the search bar is a little bit of a hassle. First, use the desktop file manager (Explorer or Finder) to locate the searchplugins directory inside the Firefox installation directory. It’s at C:Program FilesMozilla Firefoxsearchplugins on Windows systems. There, two files are stored for each search plugin. One is a .src file, the other is a graphic, usually either a .png or .gif file. Delete the pair of files whose names match the search option that you no longer want. For example, if I wanted to remove the Yahoo! search plugin, I would simply delete yahoo.src and yahoo.gif , then restart Firefox. An interface for removing unwanted search engines is planned for inclusion in a future release of Firefox. The related bug note is available online. Next, we’ll take a look at a clever and convenient way of searching. Smart Keywords Smart Keywords are a great way to perform search queries from the location bar. With smart keywords, you can type dict extemporaneous into the location bar, hit Enter, and be taken to the Dictionary.com definition of “extemporaneous.” The hard way to do this is to go to Dictionary.com, wait for it to load, click on its search box and enter extemporaneous . Bah! That takes too many steps. Firefox comes with several Smart Keywords automatically installed. You can find them in the Quick Searches folder in your bookmarks, as illustrated in Figure 2.18. You don’t have to use this menu at all – it’s just an easy way to see which Smart Keywords are installed. Figure 2.18. Firefox’s pre-defined Smart Keywords offering. The predefined Smart Keywords are: Dictionary.com Type dict word to lookup the definition of a word. Type to lookup the definition of a word. Google Type google search keyword(s) to perform a normal Google search. Type to perform a normal Google search. Stock Symbol Type quote symbol to look up stock quotes for a stock symbol. This content is sourced from Yahoo! Finance by Google. Type to look up stock quotes for a stock symbol. This content is sourced from Yahoo! Finance by Google. Wikipedia Type wp anything to access the Wikipedia entry on just about anything (Wikipedia is a free online encyclopedia). Type to access the Wikipedia entry on just about anything (Wikipedia is a free online encyclopedia). Urban Dictionary Type slang slang word to look up the meaning of urban slang words, and keep up with the times! I’m sure you’re wondering how Smart Keywords are created. After all, it would be nice to construct additional keywords for searches that Firefox has not already provided for you. There are two ways to create a Smart Keyword: the easy way, and the hard way. The easy way is preferred, but when it occasionally fails, you’ll have to fall back on the hard way. Let’s look at both, starting with the easy way. Let’s add a Smart Keyword for A9, Amazon’s relatively new search engine. First display A9’s homepage. Right-click in the search box, and you should see the context menu item Add a Keyword for this Search…, as shown in Figure 2.19. Figure 2.19. Adding a Smart Keyword from a search field. The last item on the menu looks like the one we’re after, and indeed it is. When you pick that item, an Add Bookmark dialog will appear, prompting you to fill in the name of the bookmark as well as the keyword. Let’s name it A9 keyword and use a9 for the special keyword. Save the result in a bookmark folder of your choice – I recommend you save it in the Quick Searches folder with all the other predefined Smart Keywords. When you’re done, you can try it out straight away. Enter a9 firefox , and you’ll be taken to the A9 search results for the “firefox” search term that you entered. Great! We’re making progress. Now, let’s try doing this same task the hard way. We’re not doing this just so we can say we’ve done it to impress fellow guests at dinner parties. We’re doing it because the easy way doesn’t work. For example, go to the Yahoo! search engine, and try to add a Smart Keyword the easy way. Nothing happens: no Add Bookmark dialog appears – at least, not as this book goes to print. (Technically, this is because the Yahoo! Search text field is not specified with id=”search”). Perhaps Yahoo! will fix this someday. Perhaps it will already have been fixed by the time this book lands in your hands: such is the nature of the Internet. Fixed or not, it’s clear that many Websites do not support the easy addition of Smart Keywords. To add a Smart Keyword the hard way, you must first study Web addresses a little. Type a query into the search box, hit Enter, and look at the URL that’s generated. We need to pull that URL apart for our own purposes. If we use the Yahoo! Search search engine to search for “firefox,” the resulting search URL looks like this: http://search.yahoo.com/search?ei=UTF-8&fr=sfp&p=firefox. Those who are familiar with URL query strings, and understand how certain search engines work, will recognize that only http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=firefox is necessary to perform the search. The rest is extra information for Yahoo!, like the character encoding for your search query and where you conducted the search. Replace the search query (“firefox”) in that URL with % s to create a URL that’s suitable for a Smart Bookmark. A Smart Bookmark is a special bookmark that is used to define a Smart Keyword. Firefox recognizes “%s” as a placeholder for your keyword, and replaces it with your typed information whenever you perform a Smart Keyword search. If you enter two or more words, possibly separated by spaces, Firefox treats them all as a single keyword string. So you can only use “%s” once. To create the Smart Bookmark, we bookmark the search page (the ordinary search page for the search engine in question), then modify the new bookmark. We change the bookmark’s name to something better, like “Yahoo! QuickSearch,” and tweak the bookmark so that it acts in a Smart Keyword-like manner. We then save the bookmark in the QuickSearch bookmark folder. To do all this, find the new bookmark in the Bookmarks menu, select it, right-click, and select Properties. Figure 2.20 shows the menu that holds the Properties item. Figure 2.20. Displaying a plain bookmark’s properties. Choosing Properties should bring up the bookmark properties dialog, in which we can make all the required edits. Update the name, replacing “firefox” with the special % s placeholder, and provide a keyword (I chose “y” for “yahoo”). You can also add a description if you wish. Figure 2.21 shows these changes. Finally, click OK, and there you have it: a Smart Keyword for Yahoo! Search. Try it out for kicks. Now that you’re armed with enough knowledge to create Smart Keywords the hard way, you can use it to do some innovative and interesting stuff. Let’s create a currency conversion Smart Keyword that converts from European Euros to US Dollars. Using the service at XE.com, let’s try to do this the hard way. It turns out that this task is even more challenging than usual. Web developers will understand me when I say that the xe.com currency converter normally uses HTTP POST for form submission, instead of HTTP GET, so there isn’t a URL that we can exploit: one into which we can insert the “%s” placeholder we used before. POST (or rather, HTTP POST) is a method of passing data to a Web page (or rather, a Web server). The Smart Keyword system can only use URLs based on GET requests. Non-developers probably won’t understand this technicality, nor should they have to. The upshot is that we need to find a GET request that we can use as the basis of our Smart Keyword. Figure 2.21. Specifying the Yahoo! Quicksearch Smart Bookmark properties. To do so, we have to dig into the HTML source of the Web page that performs the search (from the menu, choose View > Page Source, then start tearing your hair out!). With a little digging into the HTML source of the http://www.xe.com Web page, we can deduce that a useful Smart Keyword URL would be: http://www.xe.com/ucc/convert.cgi?Amount=%s&From=EUR&To=USD We bookmark that URL, and edit the bookmark properties, remembering to give it a keyword: “e2u” is a good choice. To test out the new keyword – for example, to find out how much one million Euros is worth in USD – type e2u 1000000 in the location bar. If you know how to sift through HTML source, life is great; if you don’t, life isn’t so terrible. A little help from someone else is all you need. Here are some other Smart Keywords that you might consider. The basic premise behind the Smart Keyword feature is very simple: it simply replaces the “%s” placeholder with the keyword that you type in. Armed with this knowledge, you can make a Smart Keyword for just about any Web service that has a variable component in its URL. Right-Click Text Searching I started this section by saying that TIMTOWTFI (There Is More Than One Way To Find It). Then, we searched for the text “blogosphere.” That technique is called “text search,” and it’s something that bears a little further exploration. To perform a text search, you must master two mouse gestures: highlight, and context select. Highlighting text is easy – for simple operations, at least. To do so, click before the required piece of text, then, holding the left mouse button down, drag the mouse over the text to create the highlight. Release the mouse button to finish the highlight. When you do the context-selection (right-clicking on the highlighted content), you’ll see a Search Web for “ whatever you selected ” item appear in the context menu, as shown in Figure 2.22. Figure 2.22. Convenient search from the context menu. If you left-click on this menu item (I dare you to!), Firefox will perform a search for the selected text on Google in a new background tab. Yes: on Google, again! Text search isn’t restricted to text, either. If you highlight an image on the page (by clicking just outside the left edge of the image, then dragging across it), the context menu will provide a search based on any alt (descriptive) text that’s specified with the image. Alas, if the image is provided as part of a style, you can’t do this yet; the image must be a proper part of the page. You can also perform a highlighted search for text that appears in a link. Highlighting text in a link is quite tricky, though: you might accidentally start a download or open a tab if you try to drag-highlight across such text. Instead, start by highlighting the text with the Find Links As You Type feature (discussed next as part of the section called “FastFind: Find As You Type”). Once the text is highlighted, bring up the context menu by right-clicking on it as you would for any highlighted text. As yet, you can’t perform a text search on text inside a textbox or a text input field, but that feature may come in future. What if you don’t want to use Google as the default search engine? A bit of geek-speak is required to change that. You might like to read Chapter 6, Tips, Tricks, and Hacks before experimenting, though. Type about:config into your Firefox address bar, hit Enter and look for the browser.search.defaulturl preference in the displayed set of preferences. Its value should be set to: http://www.google.com/search?lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&q=. Replace this string by right-clicking on the preference. Use http://search.yahoo.com/search?p= for a Yahoo! search, or the equivalent string for another engine. Note that “%s” is not required in this case. FastFind: Find As You Type Other than searching for a Web page, you will often find yourself searching within a Web page. This is especially so for Web pages that contain lots of (largely irrelevant) content, for long listings, and when you’re looking for a specific piece of information. Firefox has an easy to use über-feature called FastFind. This is the official marketing buzzword; it’s also known among veteran Firefox users as Find As You Type (FAYT), or Type-Ahead Find. Find As You Type does exactly what it says: it finds text as you type. How does it work? Just hit / (forward-slash) or Ctrl-F, then start typing the word (or words) you’re looking for. Firefox will find and highlight the first instance of the word(s) that matches what you’ve typed, from the second you start typing. The easiest way to see what I mean is to try this out for yourself. Go to the Mozilla site and type /firefox as soon as the page has finished loading. You can also use F3 or Ctrl-G to find the next match on the page, and Ctrl-Shift-G to find the previous match. So there’s no need to take your hands off the keyboard, and no need to deal with a pesky Find dialog window that gets in the way! Instead, you get an unobtrusive Find toolbar at the bottom of the page, as shown in Figure 2.23. Figure 2.23. The Find toolbar. This is one of my favorite Firefox features. When I occasionally use Internet Explorer, I often lapse into hitting / and typing text in an attempt to search for stuff. Alas, this feature doesn’t work in IE… If you’re daunted by having to remember keyboard shortcuts, have no fear: the Find toolbar is here (so much for poetry). Whenever you start a find, the toolbar springs into existence at the bottom of the page. You can use the buttons on the Find toolbar to find the next or previous matches. I recommend you get used to the keyboard shortcuts though, because they really speed up the searching process. Perhaps you noticed the Highlight button in the Find toolbar. You can use this to highlight all text that matches your search word(s). The keyboard shortcut for this is Ctrl-Enter. Figure 2.24 shows what this looks like. Figure 2.24. Highlighting “Firefox” through the Find toolbar. This kind of highlighting uses yellow to mimic the action of a felt pen highlighter, and doesn’t change your current selection. There’s also a checkbox that you can check should you want to match case (i.e. typing FiReFoX will match “FiReFoX” but not “Firefox” or “firefox”). Tip There are probably times when you want to search only within the text of links, ignoring all the other text on the page. A good example is my endless scanning for the “download” link on a Web page. To start searching only within links, hit ‘ (single apostrophe), instead of the usual / (forward-slash) or Ctrl-F, then start typing as you normally would. Only link text that matches your search term is highlighted. When you come to a link that you want, you can use Enter to load it in the current tab, or CtrlEnter to load it into a new tab. A final variation that improves the efficiency of your searching is to enable the preference Begin finding when you begin typing, which can be found under Tools > Options > Advanced >Accessibility (Firefox >Preferences on Mac OS X, Edit >Preferences on Linux). That option’s shown in Figure 2.25. When this preference is enabled, you no longer have to hit / or Ctrl-F to start a search: just start typing your search phrase! This used to be the default behavior prior to Firefox 1.0, and is a well-loved feature among power users, yours truly included. Figure 2.25. Begin finding when you begin typing. Search is what you do with a browser when you want to find something. But, what do you do when you’re presented with information that you’d rather not know? We take a look at this issue next. Non-invasive Browsing Firefox has built-in features that make your online browsing experience as smooth and uninterrupted as possible. Lots of features exist to remove the annoyances we tend to suffer when using IE. Popup and pop-under ads, spoofed status bar text that hides URLs, animated status bar text, flashing “Click me!” banner advertisements, windows that resize themselves to be either incredibly small or incredibly large: all these are annoyances. I have not seen any of them since I started using Firefox. Annoyance elimination is the process of silently removing all these irritants. Annoyance elimination is one thing at which Firefox excels, so let’s see how you can configure Firefox to create the uninterrupted browsing experience that you deserve. Popup Blocking In the past, we lived with popup and pop-under windows that contained advertisements as if they were an unavoidable part of life. Fortunately, someone conceived of popup blocking software, which provided some relief. Eventually, software developers started building popup-blocking capabilities into their browsers; Firefox is one such browser. Popup blocking has become such an important feature of Web browsers that you’d now be hard-pressed to find one without it. Firefox, Safari, the Mozilla Application Suite, and even Internet Explorer on Windows XP (provided Service Pack 2 is installed) offer integrated popup-blocking features. If you visit sites that use popups as a necessary element of the site’s functionality (a banking site, for example), or you simply have some strange popup ad fetish, you can turn off Firefox’s popup blocker, either globally, or on an individual site basis. We’ll see how to tune the Firefox popup blocker to suit your requirements as we move through this discussion. Note This is not the place to discuss the “ethics” of popup blocking and online advertising, so throughout this discussion I’ll assume you’ll want to block popups. What has popup blocking got to do with ethics? Well, people argue that since online advertising is what funds many free (and non-free) Websites, popup blocking is like stealing from these sites, since they don’t get revenue from your viewing of their content. To debate these issues is beyond the scope of this book. Avoiding Popups Firefox is configured out-of-the-box to block popup windows, so you don’t need to do anything to get this working. You can test out the popup blocker by going to a Website that uses popups. I suggest searching for “popup test” and visiting one of the popular testing sites. Whenever Firefox encounters a Website-initiated popup, as opposed to a user-initiated popup (more on that shortly), it will block that popup and display a notice that it has done so. You can see an example of the notice in Figure 2.26: the strip across the top appears by default; the displayed menu appears if you click on that strip. Figure 2.26. Firefox’s popup blocker generating a notice and blocked popup menu. In this example, Firefox has dutifully blocked a popup from PopupTest.com. If you want, you can choose from the context menu the option to permanently allow popups from that site; additionally, you may (just once) choose to load the blocked popups. When popups are blocked, you will also see an icon at the bottom right corner of your Firefox window: this will always be visible, even after you select Don’t show this message when popups are blocked. In Figure 2.27 the icon appears to the left of the window resize grip (the small triangle of dots in the bottom-right corner). Figure 2.27. The blocked popup icon. To view any blocked popup, click on the information bar and select the appropriate Show ‘ http://www.example.com/popup.html ‘ option. The blocked popup will burst into existence for one time only. This is useful if you want to be sure you aren’t missing anything (like a good deal on Viagra). You can also tell Firefox to allow the Website to open popups from this point forward for a particular site. This is best used when you trust the Website and don’t mind seeing its popup windows – perhaps it’s a work-related Website whose popups you should see. Whatever the reason, you can view popups for a given site by selecting Allow popups for www.example.com from the information bar. Don’t be afraid to allow popups: you can just as easily disable popups again. To do so, access the Popup Blocker Options. Under Tools > Options > Web Features, you will see a Block Popup Windows checkbox, with an Allowed Sites button beside it. Figure 2.28 shows this feature. Figure 2.28. Popup blocker options. Click on the Allowed Sites button to bring up the list of sites that are allowed to open popup windows in your browser. An example setup is shown in Figure 2.29. Figure 2.29. The Allowed Sites dialog. This dialog holds a simple whitelist of sites whose popups are allowed to appear in your browser. You can add Websites to the list by typing their URLs into the Address of web site field in the dialog, but that’s the hard way to do it. It’s much easier to allow popups from the information bar, as we did before. Removing a site is as simple as selecting it in the list (left-click), then clicking the Remove Site button. User-Initiated Popups A small note about popup blocking: Firefox doesn’t block user-initiated popups. Such popups occur if you click on a link that spawns a popup. If you do this, the popup isn’t blocked, because you asked for it. This is logical behavior: if I click on the link, I probably want it to do what it’s supposed to do. See the Tabbed Browsing discussion in Chapter 3, Revisiting Web Pages for a way to trap even these popups inside an existing window or a tab. User-initiated popups are often implemented using JavaScript. Next, we’ll see how to control what JavaScript can and can’t do. Disabling Annoying JavaScript I don’t know about you, but all those pesky things that Websites do with JavaScript really annoy me. My pet-hates are popup windows that spawn more popup windows, animated status bar tickers that obscure the normal status bar text, and spoofed status bar text that tries to mislead. I’d always wished there was a way to turn off those particular JavaScript effec ts in my browser without losing the rest of the dynamic JavaScript functionality offered by the Websites in question. Preventing a Website from spoofing the status bar text is good. Preventing a dynamic form from using its JavaScript scripts to calculate whether I am “the life of the party” or the “uninvited nerd” is not so helpful. Firefox supports this distinction nicely by blocking certain JavaScript calls while allowing the rest. Exactly which JavaScript calls are blocked can be configured in the Web Features preferences pane. JavaScript Web Features To find these JavaScript settings, look in the Web Features pane of the Options or Preferences dialog box. There is an Enable JavaScript checkbox alongside an Advanced… button on which you can click. Figure 2.30 shows this arrangement and the resulting secondary dialog box: Figure 2.30. Advanced JavaScript options. Don’t be afraid to play with the options here just because they’re described as “Advanced.” These are actually fairly obscure options, rather than particularly advanced options. Here’s a run-down of what each does. Move or resize existing windows Uncheck this to disable JavaScript that tries to resize a browser window that’s already open. Sites that do this usually want to make the window smaller. They’re often Web design sites, but can simply be sites that were created to annoy the heck out of you. This option will not prevent a popup window from choosing its own size, however. Popup windows can choose their own size provided that you’ve allowed popup windows, or the window is a user-initiated popup. Raise or lower windows This option is a little ambiguous at first inspection and, initially, I had some trouble figuring out what “raise” and “lower” actually meant! These options control whether JavaScript can be used to bring a window to the front (that’s “raise”) and, therefore to the top of the windows displayed on the desktop, or, conversely, to hide a window under others (that’s “lower”). A common example of the “lower” case, typically used for devious purposes, is the pop-under window, where a Website tries to open a secret window that you won’t notice. Sometimes this feature is needed, though, especially when Web-based applications need to maintain several open windows at once, or windows need to display warning messages. Disable or replace context menus Have you ever come across Websites that prevent you from right-clicking? No? Perhaps you remember trying to save an image that caught your fancy, only to find that you couldn’t right-click; instead, you’re told sternly that the image is copyrighted and not for download. When the Disable or replace context menus option is checked, that kind of thing may happen. Unchecking this option disables any JavaScript that tries to hide the context menu, so that the context menu is always free for you to use. Hide the status bar Uncheck this option to prevent Web pages from hiding the status bar at the bottom of the Firefox window. This is a highly recommended option since an absent status bar creates a security risk (see the next point). Change status bar text Some Websites spoof the status bar text, replacing the actual URLs of links with other URLs, or other text. Some sites have annoying animated stock ticker-like text that screams “WeLcOmE tO mY hOmEpAgE!” This is not only annoying but a security risk, because you can be fooled into clicking a link that goes to a URL that you weren’t expecting to visit. A carefully crafted piece of status bar text can also mislead you rather than annoy you. This is a so-called “phishing” scam that attempts to mimic normal browser functionality. I highly recommend you leave this option unchecked. Change images Unchecking this option disables features like JavaScript rollovers and dynamic menus that rely on images. It also disables some obscure form submission techniques based on image replacement. Downloading for Dummies Using Firefox to download files from the Internet is a pretty common activity. It helps if the browser makes this mundane stuff hassle-free. Firefox has several standard features that make downloading easier; we’ll step through these now. Later in the book we’ll see how to enhance that download support with extra features. Downloading Files When you first download a file, Firefox displays a dialog window that asks you what it should do with that file. Choosing to open the file instructs Firefox to download the file to a temporary directory and then open it with the application you selected in the drop-down. As you’d expect, saving to disk simply saves the file to your hard disk. Figure 2.31 shows this initial dialog box: Figure 2.31. The file download dialog. Downloads that are risky, such as executable files, cannot be opened by Firefox automatically: you can only save such files direct to disk. In such cases, the Open with option is disabled, as you can see in Figure 2.31. This restriction prevents you from accidentally running an application that you did not intend to run. Notice also the dialog checkbox labeled Do this automatically for files like this from now on. This option instructs Firefox to remember your preference and to pre-select it the next time you download a file of the same type. You can change this behavior in the Downloads section of the Options dialog box (Tools > Options, Firefox > Preferences or Edit > Preferences, depending on your platform). Figure 2.32 shows this dialog box after a few common file types have been configured. Figure 2.32. Configuring file type associations. Once Firefox has recorded your initial preference, you can change the default action taken for a remembered file type. Clicking the Change Action… button will allow you to change the application with which Firefox opens files of this type, or lets you tell the browser to revert to saving them directly to disk. The Download Manager Firefox comes with a Download Manager that displays all of your downloads in one place. Instead of displaying a download dialog for every single download, as Internet Explorer does, Firefox gathers your downloads together in a single location where you can track their progress without having to contend with multiple windows. Figure 2.33 shows the Download Manager. Figure 2.33. The Download Manager in action. Figure 2.34. Opening a folder containing a downloaded file. Let’s quickly discuss exactly what you can do in the Download Manager. Firstly, you’ll notice that downloads in progress can be paused or cancelled. Resuming paused downloads only works if the server supplying the file is configured that way, so don’t pause if you’re unsure of the server. Completed downloads can be opened by clicking the Open link, or double-clicking the row in which the file is listed. Completed downloads can also be removed from the Download Manager. Note that Remove doesn’t delete any files from disk: it simply removes them from the Download Manager. Another commonly needed action is to open the folder containing the downloaded file. This can be done by right-clicking the row on which the file is listed in the Download Manager, and selecting Open Containing Folder. Figure 2.34 shows that detail. Notice that, at the base of the window, there’s also an indication of the standard download directory. This is correct provided that you haven’t configured Firefox to ask you where to save each downloaded file. In the screenshot above, the Download Manager helpfully reminds us that files are downloaded to the desktop, which is a folder or directory associated with the current operating system user account. Finally, the Clean Up button is used to remove completed and cancelled entries from the Download Manager, which helps to keep the list of entries in the Download Manager to a sane limit. When all downloads are complete, Firefox pops up a small notification window in the bottom-right corner of the desktop, as shown in Figure 2.35. Figure 2.35. The Downloads Complete notification. Firefox saves all downloads to the desktop by default, and does so without prompting. If you prefer to save to another location, or to have Firefox prompt you for a save location for every new download, go to Tools > Options > Downloads (on Windows) and change the settings in the Download Folder section shown in Figure 2.36. Figure 2.36. Configuring Download Folder options. To be prompted for a save location each time you download, make sure the Ask me where to save every file option is selected. Otherwise, if you’d like to change the automatically selected default download location, simply select Other… from the drop-down, and choose the folder you want. If you find the Download Manager a little annoying (in which case, you’re not alone) you can disable it through the Downloads preferences (Tools > Options > Downloads on Windows) by unchecking Show Download Manager window when a download begins. If you do so, you can still call up the Download Manager from Tools > Downloads or via the Ctrl-J shortcut key. You will always be notified when all downloads are complete. If you press Pause in the Download Manager while downloading a file, you can resume that download anytime as long as Firefox is still running. The Download Manager doesn’t support the cross-session resumption of downloads as yet. Cross-session resuming is a rather useful feature that allows you to close Firefox, or even shutdown your computer, while downloading a file. When you start up again, the download picks up where it left off. This feature is targeted to appear in Firefox 2.0: see this functionality outline for more. While we (especially those of us on dial-up) wait patiently for this killer feature, you may be comforted to know that at least Firefox protects your in-progress download with a warning if you try to exit the browser prematurely. The dialog in Figure 2.37 shows that warning, which provides you with an opportunity to reverse your hasty exit decision. If you keep going, your partially downloaded files will have to be re-downloaded from scratch. Figure 2.37. The partial downloads cancellation warning shown on exit. Installing Plugins Plugins are add-on programs that allow you to view non-HTML content such as PDF files, Flash content, Java applets, and video within Firefox browser windows, or in separate windows created from Firefox windows. If a plugin is missing when you view a page that carries plugin content, then you’ll see a jigsaw piece in place of the content; a yellow plugin information bar will also appear at the top of the page. Figure 2.38 shows this arrangement when the Macromedia Flash plugin is missing. To install the required plugin automatically, just click the Install Missing Plugins… button and let Firefox find the plugin for you. Follow the resulting install prompts as you normally would. At the end of that process, the current page is redisplayed with the plugin content presented by the new plugin. Major plugins are available for Adobe Acrobat, Macromedia Flash, Java, Apple Quicktime, Realplayer, and Windows Media Player. Firefox knows how to get all of these plugins. However, if, by some chance, the plugin isn’t found by Firefox, or you want a particular version of the plugin or some other special arrangement, you can install plugins yourself. You can obtain most plugins at https://addons.update.mozilla.org/plugins/. To install plugin software from that page, look for the link that suits your operating system, click it, and follow the instructions on the resulting page. Supporting documentation is also found at the PluginDoc project. You can refer to that more extensive site should you have any problems. Figure 2.38. The plugin content placeholder and information bar. Getting to your Email Firefox has an email integration user interface (UI) feature that lets you create and read emails from your browser. It’s available on Microsoft Windows only. You can access this extra feature from the Tools menu: it even indicates to you how many unread emails you have, provided that Windows has registered a default email application. Of the two menu options supplied, choosing Read Mail will launch your default email application (probably Outlook, Outlook Express, or Thunderbird); choosing New Message… creates a new email message for you. Figure 2.39 shows these menu items. Figure 2.39. Windows email options on the Tools menu. If you choose to customize your toolbars (use View > Toolbars > Customize…), you can add an email button to the navigation bar. It contains a drop-down list that provides the same options for reading and creating emails. Figure 2.40 shows this button after it’s been left-clicked. Figure 2.40. Toolbar-based email button. Summary In this chapter, we’ve covered the core functionality of Firefox: the basic things you need to know to work efficiently with Firefox on the Web. We took a good look at tabbed browsing and how it compares against the old-school non-tabbed browser interface. This author’s conclusion is that tabs are a superior way to browse. Annoyance elimination is another task at which Firefox excels, and in addition to the standard features, you can also change popup blocking and disable bothersome JavaScript. There Is More Than One Way To Find It (TIMTOWTFI) in Firefox, and by now you should be a master of search using Firefox. Smart Keywords are particularly clever, and so are you, now that you know how to create and use them! We also covered what I think is another killer feature of Firefox: FastFind, which allows you to search text within a page quickly. On top of tabs, popups and search, we briefly covered working with non-Web content: downloading files, installing plugins, and accessing email. Firefox integrates quite well with all of those not-strictly-Web-browsing activities. In the next chapter, we’ll continue our exploration of Firefox’s standard browsing features. We’ve already learned that Firefox is an efficient system for carrying you from the current page to the next page. In Chapter 3, Revisiting Web Pages, we’ll see that Firefox has many helpful features when the time comes to revisit a page that you’ve already visited. Sample Secrets Chapter 6, Tips, Tricks and Hacks There are many subtle features hidden beneath the Firefox hood, many of which aren’t accessible from the menu system: some even require that you learn hidden keyboard incantations! In this chapter, we dive into the deep end of the pool, where such wonders lie. We’ll take a look at Firefox’s hidden preferences, and uncover the hidden mysteries of your Firefox profiles. We’ll also explore some useful tricks that do everything from speeding up the browser, to changing the way it looks and responds. The Secret Named about:config Firefox is designed to be immediately usable, without any configuration effort. There’s no confusing glut of preferences and options in the user interface – a problem that plagues a number of other applications and Web browsers. By design, Firefox has fewer configuration interface intricacies than do comparable tools. While this approach is vital for everyday use and for the “everyman” user, “power” users need something more flexible. Those special users are not left in the lurch, though, because Firefox has numerous extra preferences that one can set, albeit via a somewhat unofficial method. Such hidden preferences are managed through the about:config configuration page. This is a special interface to the Firefox preference system. To call this interface up, type the special URL or Web address, about:config (yes, that’s correctly stated) into the location bar, and hit Enter. You should see something like Figure 6.1. Figure 6.1. Introducing the about:config interface. Instead of an HTML Web page, the special preference system is displayed, using Firefox’s own XUL page display language. The about:config page is a bit like a dialog box, except that it sits inside the existing window, rather than a window of its own. In Figure 6.1, the page is displayed inside a single tab. Some explanation of this interface is in order. Each line in the list reflects a single preference. You can see five such lines in Figure 6.1. Each preference has a name and a value. The Status column of a preference indicates whether it is set to the Firefox default value (default), or has been changed by the user to something else (user set). The Type column of a preference identifies the kind of data that preference holds. Note Preferences can be one of three types: string, boolean, or integer. String preferences are simply text strings (like “hello”), which include URLs (https://update.mozilla.org/extensions/?application=%APPID%). Boolean preferences are yes/no options; they hold either true or false. George Boole, a famous scientist, was the first to explain how to work with true/false values, so they’re also called “Booleans.” Integer preferences take on any integer value (such as 1, 2, 23, 1099), but can’t accept decimal numbers like 5.4. At the top of the page you’ll see a Filter text field into which you can enter some text to filter out preferences. This is very handy, since the full list of preferences spans a good number of pages. Modifying Preferences Changing an existing preference is very simple. Just double-click on that preference’s line, or right-click on it and select Modify. The values of Boolean preferences will be automatically toggled (swapped from “true” to “false” or vice versa). Modifying string and integer preferences causes a dialog box to appear, prompting you for the new value for the preference. As you make your changes, you’ll notice the status of the preference changing from default to user set, and that the preference text is displayed in bold type. This provides a clear indication of preferences that have been changed from the built-in browser defaults. Among the hundreds of Firefox preferences there are some particularly handy ones that help to make Firefox even better than it already is. Let’s discover a few of these hidden gems. Speeding up Firefox Here’s a configuration tip that enables Firefox to download Web pages faster: enable HTTP pipelining. HTTP pipelining allows Firefox to send multiple requests at the same time, resulting in faster loading times for Web content. Note that more technical details on HTTP pipelining are available. Warning HTTP pipelining is an experimental feature and can cause some Web pages to display incorrectly if they’re not properly supported by the Web servers. While the speed improvements may be worthwhile, if your favorite Web pages start to look weird, try turning pipelining off again. To enable pipelining, open the about:config interface and: Set the network.http.pipelining preference to “true” to enable HTTP pipelining for Web access that’s “direct connect.” Set the network.http.proxy.pipelining preference to “true” to enable HTTP pipelining when the Web is accessed via a proxy server. You only need to do this if you’re using a proxy server; your ISP or network administrator can tell you if that’s the case or not. Set the network.http.pipelining.maxrequests preference to a number between 1 and 8. This number is the maximum number of requests that Firefox may send out at any one time in a pipeline. I recommend it be set to the maximum of 8 initially, then test working backwards from there. (The maximum is 8 as specified by the HTTP 1.1 specification; don’t try to set it any higher, as this will have no effect.) Step the value down by one (first to 7, then to 6, and so on) each time you notice the page display having problems. With this hidden preference, you have to restart Firefox entirely before you can determine if a speed boost has been gained. Inline URL Auto-completion Here’s a useful hack to enable inline auto-complete for URLs. When this feature is working, whatever you type into the location bar is automatically completed by Firefox with the closest possible match that can be determined from the browser’s history. You can hit Enter when you get a match, or keep typing. This is much like the Inline AutoComplete feature in Internet Explorer. Figure 6.6 shows it at work. Figure 6.6. Inline auto-completion in the location bar. To enable this effect, you must add a preference that doesn’t yet appear in the about:config list. Go to about:config, right-click anywhere on the page, and select New > Boolean from the context menu, as shown in Figure 6.7. This menu choice yields a couple of dialog boxes. Enter browser.urlbar.autoFill when prompted by the first dialog box, as depicted in Figure 6.8. Select true when you’re prompted to select a value, and that’s it: inline auto-complete for URLs is activated! There’s no need to restart Firefox in this case; it works straight away. Figure 6.7. Creating a Boolean preference in about:config. Figure 6.8. Naming the new preference. Chapter 7 – Web Development Nirvana Warning This chapter is geared towards Web developers and designers, and assumes some knowledge of Website creation. From its penchant for Web standards compliance, to its built-in Web developer-friendly features, and onwards across the amazingly useful plethora of Web development-oriented extensions, Firefox is, without doubt, a far more useful Web development tool than any other Web browser! Such hyperbole, is, in this case, entirely accurate. Firefox’s checklist of useful tools is extensive. Friendly and actually useful JavaScript debugging tools – check. Provision of detailed Web page information – check. Real-time DOM inspector and editor – check. Ability to view HTTP headers as they are returned from a Web server – check. Validation of HTML, CSS, and accessibility conformance with minimal clicks – check. Using extensions, you can even edit the CSS of a living, breathing Web page and observe the results immediately. It doesn’t even matter which Website the Web page comes from! In this chapter, we’ll explore Firefox’s Web developer-friendly features. We’ll also delve into the extensions that make indispensable tools for so many Web developers (including myself: I’ve been a freelance Web developer since 2001 and I’m currently employed as a Java Web developer). Read on if you want your development work to proceed as smoothly and professionally as possible. Firefox’s Standard Tools You don’t need to buy or download anything to get started. Many useful tools lurk inside the standard Firefox install. Viewing Source Fundamentals One of the first tasks with which many Web developers find themselves involved is examining the source of other people’s Web pages, whether for debugging purposes, as a learning aid, or simply to satisfy their own irrepressible curiosity. Firefox comes with a nifty page source viewer that offers built-in syntax highlighting. Highlighting makes it easier to read the HTML source, and simpler to grasp the implied structure of the page. You can view the source of a page using the menu system: choose View > Page Source. Alternatively, right-click and choose View Page Source from the context menu, or hit Ctrl-U. Figure 7.1 shows the scrutiny of a typical page’s source; in this case, it’s the Firefox homepage on the Mozilla Website. If you read and write HTML for a living, you probably already use an HTML editor that offers syntax highlighting. Modern browsers should perform to the same level. Yet Firefox’s support is far superior to simply opening a black-and-white Notepad session – the default action for Internet Explorer 6.0. Viewing Selection Source Sometimes, viewing a whole Web page is just too much. Have you ever wished that you could check the HTML source of specific page elements on their own? (Generating dynamic content is a common Web development task that’s always prone to careless mistakes, or so I’ve found.) Perhaps you saw a well-designed element on someone else’s Web page, and wanted to know how it was done. Using Internet Explorer, you would probably view the HTML source of the entire page, then use the find/search function to locate the matching piece of HTML. This can be an unreliable process that depends on your recollection of contextual clues from the page, or other obscure hints. Figure 7.1. Viewing the source of the Firefox homepage. In Firefox, this process is hassle-free. Just use your mouse to highlight the interesting elements of the page, right-click, and then select View Selection Source. For example, if you want to find out how an input form’s checkbox is coded, just use your mouse to select the whole checkbox; then, click the right mouse button and choose View Selection Source. That’s shown in Figure 7.2, where the “Remember Me?” checkbox is highlighted. Figure 7.2. Choosing View Selection Source from the context menu. In return, Firefox will show you the HTML of your selection, and its surrounding code, as shown in Figure 7.3. Figure 7.3. Displaying source code for the selected source. View Selection Source has saved me countless times as I’ve coded HTML forms, in which it’s easy to make trivial syntax mistakes. View Selection Source lets me quickly check any form elements that don’t seem to be working properly. (Often, the cause of the error is an incorrectly named form field, or the omission of a closing quotation mark.) View Selection Source is also a great tool for helping developers learn from the best. Often, I find myself looking at the source code of Websites created by the best Web developers and designers. To learn something new, I just view the source of the interesting part of the page in question. By narrowing down the HTML source to a specific area, View Selection Source saves time and keeps me focused. Page Info Document Reports Firefox provides very detailed information about Web pages via the View Page Info feature, which you can access from Tools > Page Info, or by right-clicking on the page and selecting View Page Info from the context menu. Either method pops up the Page Info window, shown in Figure 7.4, which tells you everything you’d ever want to know about the page. Figure 7.4. Displaying Page Info for sitepoint.com. Each of the tabs at the top of the window represents a logical area of information about the Web page. Let’s go through each tab and identify which bits are useful to Web developers. The General Tab As its name suggests, the General tab shown in Figure 7.4 displays general information about the Web page, including its MIME type, character encoding, and the size of the page. The character encoding information is particularly useful for those working on internationalized Web pages. If you’ve had any experience developing Web pages in multiple languages (and, therefore, using multiple character encodings), you’ll know that if you’re not careful, you’ll create incorrectly encoded pages that display as gibberish. Ensuring that you’re using correct character encoding can save a lot of debugging time down the track. For instance, just because you set the meta content-type to “iso-8859-1” doesn’t necessarily mean the Web page is using that encoding! Notice also the Render Mode field. This indicates how the Firefox layout engine (called Gecko) renders the Web page. In Standards compliance mode, Firefox renders the content exactly in the manner described in the HTML and CSS specifications. Quirks mode, on the other hand, accommodates existing and poorly made Web pages that are coded to older standards, or are not coded to standards. Pages displayed in Quirks Mode still look reasonable because their content is laid out and rendered in a way that aims to represent a “best effort,” rather than being “pedantically correct.” Firefox determines which mode to use by checking first the HTTP Content-Type, then the DOCTYPE of the page. Pages with Content-Type application/xhtml+xml or text/xml are rendered in standards compliance mode. Unlike Internet Explorer, Firefox always follows the HTTP Content-Type’s instructions. Finally, the General tab provides a list of the <meta> content tags used in the Web page, presenting this information in a more readable format than is available through the HTML source. The Forms Tab The Forms tab is an interesting case: it shows the details of forms and form fields in the Web page. Figure 7.5 shows the Forms information displayed for Google’s home page. Figure 7.5. Displaying the Forms tab for Google.com. The top listbox identifies the forms in the page; the bottom listbox shows the form fields contained in the form selected in the top listbox. Note If the page doesn’t contain any forms, this tab will be empty. This display is extremely convenient in instances in which you need to verify the field names contained in a form, and the values of hidden form fields. It provides the information in a format that’s much more digestible than the alternative: HTML “tag soup.” The Links Tab The Links tab lists all the links contained in the Web page. The list includes the usual hyperlinks as well as links to style sheets, and any links that specify related meta information (These are tags of the form: <link rel="linkName"/> ). Figure 7.6 shows a sample report. Figure 7.6. Displaying information about links on sitepoint.com. This display also lets you view each link’s target, which identifies whether or not the link will open in a new page, and each link’s access key, which is the keystroke that causes navigation for that link. You can display the Access Key column by clicking the small button in the Page Info window’s top-right corner, and checking the Access Key item in the dialog box that results. A list of access keys is very useful to those developing accessible Web pages, as it allows us to see, at a glance, if any links lack access keys, and if any access key is assigned to more than one link. The Media Tab The Media tab holds detailed information about all the media files (not just image files) embedded in a given Web page – even background images and favicons. You can view each media file’s title attribute, as well as its alternate text. To enable the Alternate Text column, click the button in the window’s top-right corner, and check Alternate Text, as shown in Figure 7.7. Figure 7.7. Reviewing information about media files on sitepoint.com. Displaying the alternate text for media files makes it easy to identify images for which the alt attribute is not specified, and remedy the situation. This is especially handy if, for some reason, you can’t use online validators such as Bobby. It’s also a good way to check that a page of good quality hasn’t been damaged by small changes you’ve just made. Another useful feature of the Media tab is that it gives you the ability to view and save media files. Simply select a given media file from the list, and a nice little preview of it appears, along with a Save As… button that lets you save the file. Sometimes, this is the only way to access an embedded media file, such as a Flash applet, that you want to save. The Security Tab The Security tab provides security-related information about a Web page. On a normally delivered Web page – one that’s not sent via HTTPS (secure HTTP) – the Security tab will tell you that the identity of the Web site cannot be verified, and that it does not support encryption. On securely delivered pages, however, the Security tab shows you whether the Website is verified (by its certificate), and identifies the type of encryption the page uses to protect any transferred data. Figure 7.8 shows that information for Google.com. Figure 7.8. Accessing encryption details via the Security tab. This is the only way to access the encryption details for secure HTTP. For peace of mind, it’s worth checking these details if your page – or your site – needs to integrate with some other site, such as a payment processing facility. Popup Cookie Tracking You may find it necessary to set a cookie in the user’s browser. Naturally, you test the cookie by surfing through the matching Web pages and verifying that they’re working as intended. Perhaps you print debug messages when cookies are set, so that you can see what’s going on. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could confirm whether cookies are set without having to add temporary diagnostic code? Firefox allows you to do just that. To get this functionality working, go to Tools > Options > Privacy, and expand the resulting tab’s Cookies section (if it isn’t already expanded). Select Ask me every time from the Keep Cookies: dropdown, and click OK. Now, surf to a Web page that sets a cookie: any Web-based email service should do the trick, as will the Internet Movie Database. Firefox will inform you that a cookie is being set, and if you click Show Details, you’ll be able to access specific information about the cookie, from its name and value, to its expiry date. This information is absolutely invaluable for those debugging cookie- and session-based Websites. Figure 7.9 shows the details that Firefox reports for Google.com. Figure 7.9. Firefox reporting that Google.com wants to set a cookie. Stretch the window to see the whole cookie value, if it’s too long to fit in the default display. Once the cookie is accepted – click Allow to make that happen – you can easily recall it later. To view the set of currently held cookies, use the options buried behind Firefox’s menus, as discussed in Chapter 3, Revisiting Web Pages. For cookies, access Tools > Options > Privacy > Cookies > View Cookies. On Linux, start with Edit > Preferences; on Mac OS X, start with Firefox > Preferences. Viewing cookie details as they’re set is something of a “divide and conquer” strategy for debugging Web pages. It allows you to handle problems one at a time, rather than have your cookie problems mixed up with the other issues on the page. You can worry about scripts that manipulate page content in response to cookie values after you’ve confirmed that the cookies themselves are in good order. JavaScript Console Techniques In Chapter 6, Tips, Tricks, and Hacks, we briefly touched on the JavaScript Console. Let’s now have a closer look at that tool. It’s called a “console” because it’s in this tool that any internally-generated messages from scripts will appear. The console is a real gem – a lifesaver for those debugging JavaScript scripts. One brief attempt by the Firefox team to remove it from the browser for the sake of a smaller download met with such an outcry of protest that the plan was dropped immediately. The JavaScript Console is here to stay. In helping debug your JavaScript, the console provides an error message, a direct link to the line of the JavaScript file on which the problem occurs, and, if applicable, the context of the error. Figure 7.10 shows the error generated when a string lacks its closing quotation mark. Figure 7.10. Displaying an error in the JavaScript Console. The link that’s displayed in the error message is an incredibly useful debugging aid. Clicking that link opens the View Source window, complete with a display of the problem page. Better still, the offending line is always centered – and highlighted – for your immediate consumption, as shown in Figure 7.11. You can filter the entries shown in the JavaScript Console to show only errors, warnings, and messages. Click the text items that look like menu names to see how. Figure 7.11. Highlighting a syntax error in View Source. Two hidden preferences affect the JavaScript Console’s operation. The first is javascript.options.strict, which is unset by default. Set it to true, and Firefox will sometimes report additional grumpy messages – usually around scripts that were written using poor coding practices. The second preference is javascript.options.showInConsole, which is set to false by default. Don’t touch this unless you plan on becoming a Firefox extension hacker. The JavaScript Console never pops up when an error occurs: you must always start it yourself, by hand. Press the Clear button before each page load to keep the list of messages to a bare minimum. If you do see the console pop up, this indicates that the current page is unwisely using the javascript: URL as a link target. That URL has no purpose other than to reveal the JavaScript Console. The problem page should use href="#" instead. In Chapter 6, Tips, Tricks, and Hacks, we touched briefly on the use of the JavaScript Console as a calculator. You can perform fancier scripting operations in the console if you work at it a bit. Try typing in the following simple script, then hit Enter or click the Evaluate button: var a=5; var b=6; if (a > b) alert("Impossible"); else a*b;. The number 30 should appear. If you reverse the sense of this comparison, you should get an alert instead. Finally, you can use this kind of “on the fly” JavaScript to probe the contents of a displayed Web page, even without the JavaScript Console. Let’s return briefly to the javascript: URL. Visit the Google homepage (or any form-based Web page), and type something into the search field (e.g. Foo), but don’t start the search. Instead, move to the location bar and type something along these lines: javascript:alert(document.forms[0].elements[1].value) . In the case of Google’s home page, this input displays the search text that you just entered. You can look at any part of a displayed Web page in this way. For a more complete approach, try the JavaScript Debugger extension, which we’ll touch upon at the end of this chapter. DOM Inspector Content Analysis The DOM Inspector, or DOMi for short, is a tool that allows you to view and dynamically edit the Document Object Model (DOM) of XML documents such as Web documents or XUL pages. It’s an excellent tool for debugging and learning during Web development, and is almost essential for Mozilla application development (the process of writing Firefox extensions and themes). With the DOM Inspector installed, you can examine the DOM structure of an HTML document – the set of nested tags that make up the page. That structure is presented in a sideways-displayed, hierarchical tree format. You can zoom in on a particular element within that document, and study a broad range of information about it, including DOM Node object properties, the application of CSS style rules, Box Model properties, and even JavaScript methods and properties. The DOM Inspector is not installed by default in the Windows version; to obtain it, you must select Custom Installation when installing Firefox. This provides the option to add the DOM Inspector, as shown in Figure 7.12. Figure 7.12. Choosing to install the DOM Inspector. If you forget to grab the DOM Inspector at install time, it’s not the end of the world. A simple but somewhat disruptive solution is to uninstall Firefox, then re-install it, choosing Custom Install when prompted. A better solution is to download the Inspector as a separate extension. Make sure that you read the release notes carefully before you jump on the download link: at this time, Firefox version 0.9.85 is the absolute minimum version required. Once you’ve installed the DOM Inspector, you can call it up via the Tools > DOM Inspector menu options, or via Ctrl-Shift-I. Let’s walk through the use of the DOM Inspector on the SitePoint homepage. Opening a Document for Inspection To begin inspecting a Web page, browse to that document in Firefox, then run the DOM Inspector (Tools > DOM Inspector or Ctrl-Shift-I). This will select the currently loaded document for inspection, and display the DOM of that document in the DOM Inspector. You can also select a document from the DOM Inspector’s File menu by choosing a window (File > Inspect a Window), or by entering the document’s URL into the DOM Inspector’s text field and pressing Inspect, as shown in Figure 7.13. Figure 7.13. Entering URLs for DOM inspection. Let’s load the SitePoint homepage. The DOM Inspector will obediently populate the left-hand Document pane with a hierarchical tree view of the DOM of the page https://www.sitepoint.com/index.html. The right-hand Object pane displays information about the node selected in the left pane. The display is shown in Figure 7.14, after the left pane’s content has been expanded a little by the user. Figure 7.14. Inspecting the DOM of sitepoint.com. If the SitePoint page doesn’t show at the bottom of your DOM Inspector window, add it via View > Browser. I find this a convenient way to match the node being inspected with its appearance in the document. If you prefer the DOM Inspector window to be less cluttered, you can leave the inspected page in a Firefox browser window. To do so, display the page in the normal browser window before opening the DOM Inspector. Note There’s only one version of the inspected page inside Firefox! The browser window and the DOM Inspector window display that single document in two different ways. This is called “multi-view display.” Selecting Nodes and Page Elements Once the DOM Inspector is up and running, feel free to play with the page hierarchy shown in the top-left panel. Click on the little plus icons to expand and collapse any part of the hierarchy that seems interesting. This simple action reveals the structure of the page in a way that’s separate, and different, from its visual layout. Note If you aren’t using the default Firefox theme, the plus icons might be replaced with some other icon. Regardless of what the icons look like, they operate consistently. Another way to access that same level of detail is to select a node for inspection using the Inspect node icon in the upper-left corner in the DOM Inspector toolbar. Selecting Search > Select Element By Click from the menu does the same thing. Figure 7.15 identifies that Inspect node icon. Figure 7.15. The DOM Inspector’s Inspect node icon. Click the icon to activate the Inspect function, then bring to the front the browser window that holds the page. Click on the page element in which you’re interested, and a flashing red rectangle should border the corresponding element (or its parent) within the page display. Return to the DOM Inspector window, where the page hierarchy will be expanded to reveal the matching node, which should be both selected and highlighted. This technique is particularly useful when you’re trying to determine the properties of a given element of the document. The DOM Inspector lets you see everything without requiring you to add diagnostic styles or scripts to the page. This element selection process also works in reverse. Selecting (by left-clicking) a node in the left pane of DOM Inspector will highlight the matching page node with the same blinking red border. That pairing effect is shown in Figure 7.16. Figure 7.16. Highlighting a DOM Inspector element within the page. Finally, you can find specific elements by their ID, class, or tag. For example, you can search for <a> tags or <img> tags, or even for the value of a specific attribute, like href="http://www.example.com/" , using the binoculars icon, Search > Find Nodes…, or Ctrl-F. Hitting F3 will begin a search for the next matching element in the document. Information Views The DOM Inspector can display several types of information about a particular document element. These displays are available from the drop-down menu in the top-left corner of the right-hand panel. Figure 7.17 shows the items in that list. Figure 7.17. Information types in the Object panel. We’ll take a look at each of the

Stem cell therapy successfully treats heart attack in animals

Final results of a study conducted at Johns Hopkins show that stem cell therapy can be used effectively to treat heart attacks, or myocardial infarction, in pigs. In just two months, stem cells harvested from another pig's bone marrow and injected into the animal's damaged heart restored heart function and repaired damaged heart muscle by 50 percent to 75 percent. The Hopkins findings, first presented last fall at the 2004 Scientific Sessions of the American Heart Association, are to be published in the latest issue of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences online the week of July 25. Two patients have already been enrolled at Hopkins in a Phase I clinical trial, which is designed to test the safety of injecting adult stem cells at varying doses in patients who have recently suffered a heart attack. In total, 48 patients will participate in this study, which is happening at several sites across the country. Results are not expected until mid-2006. "Ultimately, the goal is to develop a widely applicable treatment to repair and reverse the damage done to heart muscle that has been infarcted, or destroyed, after losing its blood supply," says cardiologist Joshua Hare, M.D., professor of medicine at The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine and its Heart Institute, and senior author of the study and lead trial investigator. "There is reason for optimism about these findings, possibly leading to a first-ever cure for heart attack in humans," he says. "If a treatment can be found for the damage done by a heart attack to heart muscle, then there is the potential to forestall the serious complications that traditionally result from a heart attack, including disturbances of heart rhythm that can lead to sudden cardiac death, and decreased muscle pumping function that can lead to congestive heart failure." The researchers are using a special kind of stem cell in an early stage of development, called adult mesenchymal stem cells, to avoid potential problems with immunosuppression, in which every human's immune system might attack stem cells from sources other than itself. Bone marrow adult stem cells do not have the same potential to develop into different organ tissues, as do embryonic stem cells, whose use is more controversial. Source : John Hopkins Medicine

Japanese develop 'female' android

By David Whitehouse Science editor, BBC News website Professor Ishiguro (r) stresses the importance of appearance in his robots She has flexible silicone for skin rather than hard plastic, and a number of sensors and motors to allow her to turn and react in a human-like manner. She can flutter her eyelids and move her hands like a human. She even appears to breathe. Professor Hiroshi Ishiguro of Osaka University says one day robots could fool us into believing they are human. Repliee Q1Expo is not like any robot you will have seen before, at least outside of science-fiction movies. She is designed to look human and although she can only sit at present, she has 42 actuators in her upper body, powered by a nearby air compressor, programmed to allow her to move like a human. We have found that people forget she is an android while interacting with her Prof Hiroshi Ishiguro Designed to look human Before Repliee Q1Expo, Professor Ishiguro developed Repliee R1 which had the appearance of a five-year-old Japanese girl. Its head could move in nine directions and it could gesture with its arm. Four high-sensitivity tactile sensors were placed under the skin of its left arm that made the android react differently to differing pressures. Scientists think that, one day, robots could fool us into believing they were human She can be designed to follow the movement of a human wearing motion sensors or to act independently. "Repliee Q1Expo can interact with people. It can respond to people touching it. It's very satisfying, although we obviously have a long way to go yet." Professor Ishiguro believes that it may prove possible to build an android that could pass for a human, if only for a brief period. "An android could get away with it for a short time, 5-10 seconds. However, if we carefully select the situation, we could extend that, to perhaps 10 minutes," he said. "More importantly, we have found that people forget she is an android while interacting with her. Consciously, it is easy to see that she is an android, but unconsciously, we react to the android as if she were a woman."

US agrees climate deal with Asia

The nations do not want climate policies to affect economic growth China, India, South Korea, Japan and Australia and the US account for nearly half of world greenhouse gas emissions. The US-led initiative would tackle global warming with new technology supplied to countries most in need. Critics say the new compact undermines Kyoto and is likely to be ineffective because it is non-binding. 'Superior' deal The pact will allow signed-up countries to set their goals for reducing greenhouse gas emissions individually, with no enforcement mechanism. The signatories argue it complements, rather than weakens, the 1997 Kyoto agreement, which imposes targets on industrialised countries to cut their emissions. Australian Prime Minister John Howard said: "The fairness and effectiveness of this proposal will be superior to the Kyoto protocol. "It demonstrates the very strong commitment of Australia to reducing greenhouse gas emissions, according to an understanding that it's fair in Australia and not something that will destroy Australian jobs and unfairly penalise Australian industries." US Deputy Secretary of State Robert Zoellick agreed the six nations "view this as a complement, not an alternative" to Kyoto. Both the US and Australia have refused to ratify Kyoto, which came into effect earlier this year, partly, they say, because big developing countries like India and China escape emissions limits. 'Win-win' They have also made clear their concern that climate change should only be addressed without harming development or economic growth. Australian Foreign Minister Alexander Downer told BBC Radio 4's Today programme: "Our view is you really need to focus on technological change to solve the climate change problem... and you do have to involve the major developing countries, which are very substantial emitters." A Chinese spokesman called the pact a "win-win solution" for developing countries. A deal on climate change that doesn't limit pollution is the same as a peace plan that allows guns to be fired Worldwide Fund for Nature The UK government's chief scientific adviser, Sir David King, told the BBC's Today radio programme he doubted the new deal could work without setting caps on emissions. But, he added, the surprise announcement should be seen as a sign of progress on climate change. Environmental campaigners have criticised the new pact as ineffectual and serving the interests of industrialised nations. The Geneva-based Worldwide Fund for Nature (WWF) said: "A deal on climate change that doesn't limit pollution is the same as a peace plan that allows guns to be fired." Bob Brown, leader of Australia's opposition Green party, dismissed the agreement as a "coal pact" involving four of the world's largest coal producers - China, the US, India and Australia. The new group's first summit will be held in Adelaide, Australia, in November.

The Birth of Google

credit William Mercer McLeod Page came up with the concept of weighted ranking, while Brin (left) figured out the math. It began with an argument. When he first met Larry Page in the summer of 1995, Sergey Brin was a second-year grad student in the computer science department at Stanford University. Gregarious by nature, Brin had volunteered as a guide of sorts for potential first-years - students who had been admitted, but were still deciding whether to attend. His duties included showing recruits the campus and leading a tour of nearby San Francisco. Page, an engineering major from the University of Michigan, ended up in Brin's group. It was hardly love at first sight. Walking up and down the city's hills that day, the two clashed incessantly, debating, among other things, the value of various approaches to urban planning. "Sergey is pretty social; he likes meeting people," Page recalls, contrasting that quality with his own reticence. "I thought he was pretty obnoxious. He had really strong opinions about things, and I guess I did, too." "We both found each other obnoxious," Brin counters when I tell him of Page's response. "But we say it a little bit jokingly. Obviously we spent a lot of time talking to each other, so there was something there. We had a kind of bantering thing going." Page and Brin may have clashed, but they were clearly drawn together - two swords sharpening one another. When Page showed up at Stanford a few months later, he selected human-computer interaction pioneer Terry Winograd as his adviser. Soon thereafter he began searching for a topic for his doctoral thesis. It was an important decision. As Page had learned from his father, a computer science professor at Michigan State, a dissertation can frame one's entire academic career. He kicked around 10 or so intriguing ideas, but found himself attracted to the burgeoning World Wide Web. Page didn't start out looking for a better way to search the Web. Despite the fact that Stanford alumni were getting rich founding Internet companies, Page found the Web interesting primarily for its mathematical characteristics. Each computer was a node, and each link on a Web page was a connection between nodes - a classic graph structure. "Computer scientists love graphs," Page tells me. The World Wide Web, Page theorized, may have been the largest graph ever created, and it was growing at a breakneck pace. Many useful insights lurked in its vertices, awaiting discovery by inquiring graduate students. Winograd agreed, and Page set about pondering the link structure of the Web. credit William Mercer McLeod credit William Mercer McLeod Citations and Back Rubs It proved a productive course of study. Page noticed that while it was trivial to follow links from one page to another, it was nontrivial to discover links back. In other words, when you looked at a Web page, you had no idea what pages were linking back to it. This bothered Page. He thought it would be very useful to know who was linking to whom. Why? To fully understand the answer to that question, a minor detour into the world of academic publishing is in order. For professors - particularly those in the hard sciences like mathematics and chemistry - nothing is as important as getting published. Except, perhaps, being cited. Academics build their papers on a carefully constructed foundation of citation: Each paper reaches a conclusion by citing previously published papers as proof points that advance the author's argument. Papers are judged not only on their original thinking, but also on the number of papers they cite, the number of papers that subsequently cite them back, and the perceived importance of each citation. Citations are so important that there's even a branch of science devoted to their study: bibliometrics. Fair enough. So what's the point? Well, it was Tim Berners-Lee's desire to improve this system that led him to create the World Wide Web. And it was Larry Page and Sergey Brin's attempts to reverse engineer Berners-Lee's World Wide Web that led to Google. The needle that threads these efforts together is citation - the practice of pointing to other people's work in order to build up your own. Which brings us back to the original research Page did on such backlinks, a project he came to call BackRub. He reasoned that the entire Web was loosely based on the premise of citation - after all, what is a link but a citation? If he could divine a method to count and qualify each backlink on the Web, as Page puts it "the Web would become a more valuable place." At the time Page conceived of BackRub, the Web comprised an estimated 10 million documents, with an untold number of links between them. The computing resources required to crawl such a beast were well beyond the usual bounds of a student project. Unaware of exactly what he was getting into, Page began building out his crawler. The idea's complexity and scale lured Brin to the job. A polymath who had jumped from project to project without settling on a thesis topic, he found the premise behind BackRub fascinating. "I talked to lots of research groups" around the school, Brin recalls, "and this was the most exciting project, both because it tackled the Web, which represents human knowledge, and because I liked Larry." The Audacity of Rank In March 1996, Page pointed his crawler at just one page - his homepage at Stanford - and let it loose. The crawler worked outward from there. Crawling the entire Web to discover the sum of its links is a major undertaking, but simple crawling was not where BackRub's true innovation lay. Page was naturally aware of the concept of ranking in academic publishing, and he theorized that the structure of the Web's graph would reveal not just who was linking to whom, but more critically, the importance of who linked to whom, based on various attributes of the site that was doing the linking. Inspired by citation analysis, Page realized that a raw count of links to a page would be a useful guide to that page's rank. He also saw that each link needed its own ranking, based on the link count of its originating page. But such an approach creates a difficult and recursive mathematical challenge - you not only have to count a particular page's links, you also have to count the links attached to the links. The math gets complicated rather quickly. Fortunately, Page was now working with Brin, whose prodigious gifts in mathematics could be applied to the problem. Brin, the Russian-born son of a NASA scientist and a University of Maryland math professor, emigrated to the US with his family at the age of 6. By the time he was a middle schooler, Brin was a recognized math prodigy. He left high school a year early to go to UM. When he graduated, he immediately enrolled at Stanford, where his talents allowed him to goof off. The weather was so good, he told me, that he loaded up on nonacademic classes - sailing, swimming, scuba diving. He focused his intellectual energies on interesting projects rather than actual course work. Together, Page and Brin created a ranking system that rewarded links that came from sources that were important and penalized those that did not. For example, many sites link to IBM.com. Those links might range from a business partner in the technology industry to a teenage programmer in suburban Illinois who just got a ThinkPad for Christmas. To a human observer, the business partner is a more important link in terms of IBM's place in the world. But how might an algorithm understand that fact? Page and Brin's breakthrough was to create an algorithm - dubbed PageRank after Page - that manages to take into account both the number of links into a particular site and the number of links into each of the linking sites. This mirrored the rough approach of academic citation-counting. It worked. In the example above, let's assume that only a few sites linked to the teenager's site. Let's further assume the sites that link to the teenager's are similarly bereft of links. By contrast, thousands of sites link to Intel, and those sites, on average, also have thousands of sites linking to them. PageRank would rank the teen's site as less important than Intel's - at least in relation to IBM. This is a simplified view, to be sure, and Page and Brin had to correct for any number of mathematical culs-de-sac, but the long and the short of it was this: More popular sites rose to the top of their annotation list, and less popular sites fell toward the bottom. As they fiddled with the results, Brin and Page realized their data might have implications for Internet search. In fact, the idea of applying BackRub's ranked page results to search was so natural that it didn't even occur to them that they had made the leap. As it was, BackRub already worked like a search engine - you gave it a URL, and it gave you a list of backlinks ranked by importance. "We realized that we had a querying tool," Page recalls. "It gave you a good overall ranking of pages and ordering of follow-up pages." Page and Brin noticed that BackRub's results were superior to those from existing search engines like AltaVista and Excite, which often returned irrelevant listings. "They were looking only at text and not considering this other signal," Page recalls. That signal is now better known as PageRank. To test whether it worked well in a search application, Brin and Page hacked together a BackRub search tool. It searched only the words in page titles and applied PageRank to sort the results by relevance, but its results were so far superior to the usual search engines - which ranked mostly on keywords - that Page and Brin knew they were onto something big. Not only was the engine good, but Page and Brin realized it would scale as the Web scaled. Because PageRank worked by analyzing links, the bigger the Web, the better the engine. That fact inspired the founders to name their new engine Google, after googol, the term for the numeral 1 followed by 100 zeroes. They released the first version of Google on the Stanford Web site in August 1996 - one year after they met. Among a small set of Stanford insiders, Google was a hit. Energized, Brin and Page began improving the service, adding full-text search and more and more pages to the index. They quickly discovered that search engines require an extraordinary amount of computing resources. They didn't have the money to buy new computers, so they begged and borrowed Google into existence - a hard drive from the network lab, an idle CPU from the computer science loading docks. Using Page's dorm room as a machine lab, they fashioned a computational Frankenstein from spare parts, then jacked the whole thing into Stanford's broadband campus network. After filling Page's room with equipment, they converted Brin's dorm room into an office and programming center. The project grew into something of a legend within the computer science department and campus network administration offices. At one point, the BackRub crawler consumed nearly half of Stanford's entire network bandwidth, an extraordinary fact considering that Stanford was one of the best-networked institutions on the planet. And in the fall of 1996 the project would regularly bring down Stanford's Internet connection. "We're lucky there were a lot of forward-looking people at Stanford," Page recalls. "They didn't hassle us too much about the resources we were using." A Company Emerges As Brin and Page continued experimenting, BackRub and its Google implementation were generating buzz, both on the Stanford campus and within the cloistered world of academic Web research. One person who had heard of Page and Brin's work was Cornell professor Jon Kleinberg, then researching bibliometrics and search technologies at IBM's Almaden center in San Jose. Kleinberg's hubs-and-authorities approach to ranking the Web is perhaps the second-most-famous approach to search after PageRank. In the summer of 1997, Kleinberg visited Page at Stanford to compare notes. Kleinberg had completed an early draft of his seminal paper, "Authoritative Sources," and Page showed him an early working version of Google. Kleinberg encouraged Page to publish an academic paper on PageRank. Page told Kleinberg that he was wary of publishing. The reason? "He was concerned that someone might steal his ideas, and with PageRank, Page felt like he had the secret formula," Kleinberg told me. (Page and Brin eventually did publish.) On the other hand, Page and Brin weren't sure they wanted to go through the travails of starting and running a company. During Page's first year at Stanford, his father died, and friends recall that Page viewed finishing his PhD as something of a tribute to him. Given his own academic upbringing, Brin, too, was reluctant to leave the program. Brin remembers speaking with his adviser, who told him, "Look, if this Google thing pans out, then great. If not, you can return to graduate school and finish your thesis." He chuckles, then adds: "I said, 'Yeah, OK, why not? I'll just give it a try.'" From The Search: How Google and Its Rivals Rewrote the Rules of Business and Transformed Our Culture, copyright © by John Battelle, to be published in September by Portfolio, a member of Penguin Group (USA), Inc. Battelle (battellemedia.com) was one of the founders of Wired. 10 Years That Changed the World Intro We Are the Web The Birth of Google A Decade of Genius and Madness 1995: Marc Andreessen 1996: Jerry Yang 1997: Jeff Bezos 1998: David Boies 1999: Pets.com sock puppet 2000: Shawn Fanning 2001: Mary Meeker 2002: Steve Jobs 2003: Howard Dean 2004-05: Ana Marie Cox

IRA says armed campaign is over

The IRA statement said it would pursue a peaceful path In a long-awaited statement, the republican organisation said it would follow a democratic path ending more than 30 years of violence. Sinn Fein President Gerry Adams said the move was a "courageous and confident initiative" and that the moment must be seized. Prime Minister Tony Blair said it was a "step of unparalleled magnitude". "It is what we have striven for and worked for throughout the eight years since the Good Friday Agreement," he said. QUICK GUIDE Northern Ireland conflict The IRA made its decision after an internal debate prompted by Mr Adams' call in April to pursue its goals exclusively through politics. Mr Adams said Thursday's statement was a "defining point in the search for a lasting peace with justice" and also presented challenges for others. "It means that unionists who are for the Good Friday Agreement must end their ambivalence," he said. "And it is a direct challenge to the DUP to decide if they want to put the past behind them, and make peace with the rest of the people of this island." In a joint communique the British and Irish governments welcomed the statement and said if the IRA's words "are borne out by actions, it will be a momentous and historic development". "Verified acts of completion will provide a context in which we will expect all parties to work towards the full operation of the political institutions, including the Northern Ireland Assembly and Executive, and the North-South structures, at the earliest practicable date," it said. KEY POINTS OF STATEMENT All IRA units ordered to dump arms Members ordered to pursue objectives through "exclusively peaceful means" Arms to be put beyond use as quickly as possible Two church witnesses to verify this Statement followed "honest and forthright" consultation process Strong support among IRA members for Sinn Fein's peace strategy There is now an alternative way to achieve goal of united Ireland "Volunteers must not engage in any other activities whatsoever" IRA statement in full Reaction to IRA statement The Independent Monitoring Commission, which examines paramilitary activity, has also been asked to produce an additional report in January 2006, three months after their next regular report. During the Northern Ireland Troubles, the IRA murdered about 1,800 civilians and members of the security forces. The IRA statement issued on Thursday said the end of the armed campaign would take effect from 1600 BST. "All IRA units have been ordered to dump arms. All Volunteers have been instructed to assist the development of purely political and democratic programmes through exclusively peaceful means. Volunteers must not engage in any other activities whatsoever. "The IRA leadership has also authorised our representative to engage with the IICD to complete the process to verifiably put its arms beyond use in a way which will further enhance public confidence and to conclude this as quickly as possible." The statement said independent witnesses from Catholic and Protestant churches had been invited to see the decommissioning process. Gerry Adams said the "moment must be seized" DUP leader Ian Paisley greeted the statement with scepticism, saying that the IRA had "reverted to type" after previous "historic" statements. "We will judge the IRA's bona fides over the next months and years based on its behaviour and activity," he said. He said they had also "failed to provide the transparency necessary to truly build confidence that the guns have gone in their entirety". Ulster Unionist Party Sir Reg Empey, told the BBC's World at One it would take time to convince the people of Northern Ireland that this was more than just rhetoric. He said: "People are so sceptical, having been burnt so many times before. SDLP leader Mark Durkan welcomed the statement, saying it was "clear, clean and complete", but "long overdue". He called on Sinn Fein to commit to the new policing structures in Northern Ireland, as his party had done. People in Belfast give their reaction to the IRA statement. In pictures Taoiseach Bertie Ahern has said he welcomes the IRA's statement that it was ending its "armed campaign". Mr Ahern said the end of the IRA as a paramilitary group "is the outcome the governments have been working towards" since the 1994 ceasefire. The IRA pledge was welcomed by the United States administration as "an important and potentially historic statement". A White House statement said the words must now be followed by actions and acknowledged there would be scepticism, particularly among victims and their families. "They will want to be certain that this terrorism and criminality are indeed things of the past," the statement said. The statement added that it understood from the IRA communique that "the IRA and its members will no longer have any contact with any foreign paramilitary and terrorist organisations". When he made his appeal in April, Mr Adams said it was "a genuine attempt to drive the peace process forward". Republicans had been under intense pressure to end IRA activity after the £26.5m Northern Bank raid in December and the murder of Belfast man Robert McCartney in January. Political talks last year failed to restore devolution, which stalled amid claims of IRA intelligence gathering at Parliament Buildings, Stormont, in 2002. The Provisional IRA's campaign of violence was aimed at forcing an end to the British presence in Northern Ireland, leading to a united Ireland.

Ten Recurring Economic Fallacies, 1774–2004

Tags As an American historian who knows something of economic law, having learned from the Austrians, I became intrigued with how the United States had remained prosperous, its economy still so dynamic and productive, given the serious and recurring economic fallacies to which our top leaders (political, corporate, academic) have subscribed and from which they cannot seem to free themselves—and alas, keep passing down to the younger generation. Let’s consider ten. Myth #1: The Broken Window One of the most persistent is that of the broken window—one breaks and this is celebrated as a boon to the economy: the window manufacturer gets an order; the hardware store sells a window; a carpenter is hired to install it; money circulates; jobs are created; the GDP goes up. In truth, of course, the economy is no better off at all. True, there is a sudden burst of activity, and some persons have surely gained, but only at the expense of the proprietor whose window was broken, or his insurance company; and if the latter, the other policyholders who will pay higher premiums to pay for paid-out claims, especially if many have been broken. The fallacy lies in a failure to grasp what has been foregone by repair and reconstruction—the labor and capital expended, having been lost to new production. This fallacy, seemingly so simple to explain and grasp, although requiring an intellectual effort of some mental abstraction to comprehend, seems to be ineradicable. After the horrific destruction of the Twin Towers in September 2001, the media quoted academic and corporate economists assuring us that the government’s response to the attacks would help bring an end to the recession. What was never mentioned was that resources devoted to repair, security, and war-fighting are resources that cannot be devoted to creating consumer goods, building new infrastructure, or enhancing our civilization. We are worse off because of 9-11. Myth #2: The Beneficence of War A second fallacy is the idea of war as an engine of prosperity. Students are taught that World War II ended the Depression; many Americans seem to believe that tax revenues spent on defense contractors (creating jobs) are no loss to the productive economy; and our political leaders continue to believe that expanded government spending is an effective way of bringing an end to a recession and reviving the economy. The truth is that war, and the preparation for it, is economically wasteful and destructive. Apart from the spoils gained by winning (if it is won) war and defense spending squander labor, resources, and wealth, leaving the country poorer in the end than if these things had been devoted to peaceful endeavors. During war, the productive powers of a country are diverted to producing weapons and ammunition, transporting armaments and supplies, and supporting the armies in the field. William Graham Sumner described how the Civil War, which he lived through, had squandered capital and labor: "The mills, forges, and factories were active in working for the government, while the men who ate the grain and wore the clothing were active in destroying, and not in creating capital. This, to be sure, was war. It is what war means, but it cannot bring prosperity." Nothing is more basic; yet it continues to elude the grasp of our teachers, writers, professors, and politicians. The forty year Cold War drained this country of much of its wealth, squandered capital, and wasted the labor of millions, whose lifetime work, whether as a soldier, sailor, or defense worker, was devoted to policing the empire, fighting its brush wars, and making weapons, instead of building up our civilization with things of utility, comfort, and beauty. Some might respond that the Cold War was a necessity, but that’s not the question—although we now know that the CIA, in yet another massive intelligence failure, grossly overestimated Soviet military capabilities as well as the size of the Soviet economy, estimating it was twice as large and productive as it really was. The point is the wastefulness of war, and the preparation for it; and I see no evidence whatever that the American people or their leaders understand that, or even care to think about it. An awareness and comprehension of these economic realities might lead to more searching scrutiny of the aims and methods that the Bush administration has chosen for the War on Terror. Only a few days after 9-11, Rumsfeld declared that the war shall last as long as the Cold War (forty plus years), or longer—a claim the administration has repeated every few months since then—without eliciting the slightest notice or questioning from the media, the public, or the opposing party. Would that be the case, if people understand how much a second Cold War, this time with radical Islam, will cost us in lives, treasure, and foregone comfort and leisure? Myth #3: The Best Way to Finance a War is by Borrowing Beginning with the War of Independence and continuing through the War on Terror, Americans have chosen to pay for their wars by borrowing money and inflating the currency. Adam Smith believed that the war should be financed by a levy on capital. This way the people of the country understand how much the war is costing them, and then can better judge whether it is really necessary. While he conceded that borrowing might be necessary in the early part of a war, before the revenue from war taxes began to flow into the treasury, he insisted that borrowing be kept to a minimum as a temporary expedient only. Borrowing increases the costs of war in the form of interest. Inflating the currency, which often accompanies massive borrowing, as it did during the War of Independence, the War Between the States, and the War in Vietnam (just to name three), is the worst method of war finance, for it drives up prices, increases costs, enlarges debt, spawns malinvestments and speculation, and worsens the redistributive effects of war spending. In 1861, the Lincoln administration decided that the people of the north would not stand for much taxation, and that it would increase the already considerable opposition to the southern war. According to Sumner, the financial question of the day was "whether we should carry on the war on specie currency, low prices, and small imports, or on paper issues, high prices, and heavy imports?" The latter course was chosen, and the consequences were a national debt that soared from $65 million in 1860 to $27 thousand million ($2.7 billion) in 1865, and a massive redistribution of wealth to federal bondholders. In 1865, the financial question recurred. It was: "Shall we withdraw the paper, recover our specie [gold and silver coin], reduce prices, lessen imports, reduce debt, and live economically until we have made up the waste and loss of war, or shall we keep the paper as money, export all our specie which had hitherto been held in anticipation of resumption, buy foreign goods with it, and go on as if nothing had happened?" The easy route was taken again (specie payments were not resumed until 1879, fourteen years later, and almost twenty years after the 1861 suspension) and the consequences were an inflation-driven stock market and railroad boom that culminated in the panic of 1873, the failure of the House of Cook, and the Great Railway Strike of 1877, the first outbreak of large-scale industrial violence in American history. Myth #4: Deficit Spending Benefits the Economy and Government Debt Three years ago, when then treasury secretary Paul O’Neill objected to the Bush administration’s policy of guns, butter, and tax cuts he was told by the vice president, Dick Cheney, that, "deficits don’t matter." Of course, they don’t matter—to him, but they matter to the country. John Maynard Keynes's prescription for curing a recession included tax cuts and increased government spending. "We are all Keynesians now" should be the new motto inscribed on the front of the Treasury building in Washington. However, Keynes taught that once the recession was over government spending should be reduced, taxes increased, and the deficit eliminated. Current American policy is to continue deficit spending after the recession is over, and to borrow in peace as well as war. One longstanding criticism of such policies is that government borrowing "crowds out" private investment, thus raising interest rates. In an era when credit creation is so easy, and interest rates remain low despite massive deficits reaching $500 billion per annum, economists no longer take this objection seriously. Another criticism is that an accumulating debt saddles future generations with a heavy burden, which is both unfair and detrimental to future growth. Once again, economists and politicians regard this objection as groundless. They reason that future generations derive benefits from deficit expenditures—greater security, more infrastructure, improved health and welfare—and that since the principal need never be paid, it is not much of a burden anyway. They are wrong. By avoiding having to increase taxes, borrowing hides the price to be paid for increased government spending (the destructive diversion of capital and labor from private pursuits to government projects), and defuses potential public opposition to new or expanded government initiatives, here and abroad. It is thus both unrepublican and anti-democratic. Second, depending on how long the redemption of the principal is deferred, accumulating interest payments can double, triple, quadruple, . . . the cost of the initial expenditure (This country has never yet discharged its Civil War debt!) Third, interest payments represent a perpetual income transfer from the working public to the bondholders—a kind of regressive tax that makes the rich, richer and the poor, poorer. Finally, the debt introduces new and wholly artificial forms of uncertainty into financial markets, with everyone left to guess whether the debt will be paid through taxes, inflation, or default. Myth # 5: Government Policies to Promote Exports are a Good Idea The fallacy that government is a better judge of the most profitable modes of directing labor and capital than individuals is well illustrated by exporting policies. In the twentieth century, the federal government has sought to promote exports in various ways. The first was by forcing open foreign markets through a combination of diplomatic and military pressure, all the while keeping our own markets wholly or partially closed. The famous "open door" policy, formulated by Secretary of State John Hay in 1899 was never meant to be reciprocal (after all, he served in the McKinley administration, the most archly protectionist in American history), and it often required a gun boat and a contingent of hard charging marines to kick open the door. A second method was export subsidies, which are still with us. The Export-Import Bank was established by Roosevelt in 1934 to provide cash grants, government-guaranteed loans, and cheap credit to exporters and their overseas customers. It remains today—untouched by "alleged" free market Republican administrations and congresses. A third method was dollar devaluation, to cheapen the selling price of American goods abroad. In 1933, Roosevelt took the country off the gold standard and revalued it at $34.06, which represented a significant devaluation. The object was to allow for more domestic inflation and to boost exports, particularly agricultural ones, which failed; now Bush is trying it. A fourth method, tried by the Reagan administration, was driving down farm prices to boost exports, thereby shrinking the trade deficit. The plan was that America would undersell its competitors, capture markets, and rake in foreign exchange. (When others do this it is denounced as unfair, as predatory trade.) What happened? Well, it turned out that the agricultural export market was rather elastic. Countries like Brazil and Argentina , depending on farm exports as one of their few sources of foreign exchange, which they desperately needed to service their debt loads, simply cut their prices to match the Americans. Plan fails. But it got worse: American farmers had to sell larger quantities (at the lower prices) just to break even. Nevertheless, although the total volume of American agricultural exports increased, their real value (in constant dollars) fell—more work, lower profits. Furthermore, farmers had to import more oil and other producer goods to expand their production, which worsened the trade deficit. Then, there were the unforeseen and deleterious side-effects. Expanded cultivation and livestock-raising stressed out and degraded the quality of the soils, polluted watersheds, and lowered the nutritional value of the expanded crop of vegetables, grains, and animal proteins. Finally, the policy of lower price/higher volume drove many small farmers, here and abroad, off the land, into the cities, and across the border, our border. Here is an economic policy that not only failed in its purpose but worsened the very problem it was intended to alleviate, and caused a nutritional, ecological, and demographic catastrophe. Myth #6: Commercial Warfare Works Sumner pointed out that the Americans declared their political independence, they had not entirely freed themselves from the fallacies of mercantilism. Mercantilists believed that government should both regulate and promote certain kinds of economic activity, the economy being neither self-regulating, nor capable of reaching maximum efficiency if left alone. Thus, in their struggle for independence, the Americans turned to two dubious policies: commercial warfare; and inflationary war finance. I won’t rehash the history of the depreciating Continental—which led to the confiscation of property without adequate compensation, defrauded creditors, impoverished soldiers and sailors, price controls, a larger war debt—but I will point out what Sumner so amply demonstrated in his financial history of the Revolutionary War: the commercial war harmed the Americans far more than the British. In the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, commercial war took the form of boycotts and embargoes. The idea was that by closing our markets to British goods, or by denying them our exports, agriculture and raw materials, we could coerce them, peacefully, into changing their policies. This policy worked only one time, helping to persuade the British to repeal the Stamp Act of 1765; but each time thereafter it was tried it only antagonized them and led to some form of retaliation. In 1774–75, on the eve of war, the Americans stood in desperate need of supplies to prepare for war, and the English offered the best goods at the best prices. By refusing to trade, hoping to coerce the British into abandoning their own Coercive Acts, the Americans began the war suffering from a supply shortage, which only grew worse; after a few years of war, they found themselves under the necessity of trading with the enemy, which was carried on through the Netherlands and the West Indian islands of Antigua and St. Eustatius. President Jefferson’s embargo of 1807–09 was a complete fiasco. Not only did it fail to accomplish its purpose of forcing the British and French to respect our neutral commerce; it devastated the New England economy, which was dependent on commerce and ship-building, hurt southern planters (who could no longer export), reduced federal tariff revenue, and drove the New England states to the brink of secession. Myth #7: The Late Nineteenth Century was an Era of Laissez-Faire Capitalism Certainly, the late nineteenth century was not an era of laissez-faire, despite the stubborn and persistent myth to the contrary. True, there were few government regulations on business, but high tariffs, railroad subsidies, and the national banking system prove that the government was no neutral bystander. Sumner more accurately termed it the era of plutocracy, in which politically organized wealth used the power of the state for selfish advantage. He also warned, "Nowhere in the world is the danger of plutocracy as formidable as it is here." For these indiscretions, the manufacturing and bond-holding hierarchy tried to get him kicked out of Yale, where they thought he was poisoning the minds of their sons with free trade heresies. Only during two periods since 1776 has the government mostly left the economy alone: during the early years of the federal republic; and in the two decades previous to the Civil War. The political economist Condy Raguet called the first period of economic freedom, from 1783 to1807, "the golden age" of the republic: Trade was free, taxes were low, money was sound, and Americans enjoyed more economic freedom than any other people in the world. Sumner thought the years from 1846 to1860—the era of the independent treasury, falling tariffs, and gold money—was the true "golden age." (Historians consider the presidents during this last period—Fillmore, Pierce, and Buchanan—as among the worst we have ever had. Yet, from 1848–1860, the country was at peace, the economy prosperous, taxes low, money hard, and the national debt was shrinking. This tells us how historians define political greatness. Myth #8: Business Corporations Favor a Policy of Laissez-Faire Never in the history of our country have corporations, Wall Street financiers, bond holders, and other large capitalists, as a class or interest, favored a policy of economic liberty and nonintervention by government. They have always favored some form of mercantilism. It is surely significant that the second Republican Party, founded in Michigan in 1854, was funded and led by men who wished to overthrow the libertarian desideratum of the 1840s and 50s. Of course there have been exceptions. The merchants and ship-owners of maritime New England put up a good fight for free trade and sound money in the early years of the republic, and the New York City bankers in the nineteenth century were conservative Democrats who supported free trade, low taxes, sound money, and the gold standard. But these were exceptions. Consider the testimony of William Simon, who was Secretary of the Treasury under Nixon: I watched with incredulity as businessmen ran to the government in every crisis, whining for handouts or protection from the very competition that has made this system so productive. I saw Texas ranchers, hit by drought, demanding government-guaranteed loans; giant milk cooperatives lobbying for higher price supports; major airlines fighting deregulation to preserve their monopoly status; giant companies like Lockheed seeking federal assistance to rescue them from sheer inefficiency; bankers, like David Rockefeller, demanding government bailouts to protect them from their ill-conceived investments; network executives, like William Paley of CBS, fighting to preserve regulatory restrictions and to block the emergence of competitive cable and pay TV. And always, such gentlemen proclaimed their devotion to free enterprise and their opposition to arbitrary intervention into our economic life by the state. Except, of course, for their own case, which was always unique and which was justified by their immense concern for the public interest. During the nineteenth century, those who clamored loudest and most effectively for government intervention in the economy were businessmen; of course farmers sometimes did so as well. Businessmen sought promotional policies in the form of protective tariffs, a national bank, and public funding of "internal improvements," such as turnpikes, bridges, and canals. By the 1820s, proponents of this program called it "the American System," with Senator Henry Clay of Kentucky its most prominent champion. Raguet more accurately referred to it as the "British System." Clay ran for president on this platform three times, and lost three times (1824, 1832, and 1844). His protégé, Abraham Lincoln, learned from this experience, and so when he ran for president in 1860, hoping to implement the same program, he rarely mentioned it; instead, he promised to save the western territories from the blight of slavery and to overthrow the "slave power"—political camouflage that worked brilliantly. The American System was an egregious form of redistributive special-interest politics. It enriched Louisiana sugar planters, Kentucky hemp growers, New York sheep herders, Pennsylvania iron mongers, New England textile magnates, canal companies, and railroad corporations—all at the expense of planters, farmers, mechanics, and consumers. The antebellum protectionist movement reached its apogee with the tariff of 1828, doubling tax rates on dutiable imports to an average of 44 percent in 1829 and 48 percent the next year. At the time, Raguet calculated that the average American worked one month a year just to pay the tariff. To his readers, who paid no direct federal taxes at all, nor any excise taxes, this figure was shocking. In 1830, tax-freedom day was the first of February; today it is in June, rendering our tax burden five times greater. Another income transfer was affected by the vicious banking system of the time, under which incorporated bankers, without capital, charged interest for lending out pieces of paper and deposit credit, which cost them nothing except the cost of printing. Some libertarians have contended that this was the era of free banking. It was nothing of the sort. Bankers were protected under the shield of limited liability and, during financial panics and bank runs, by special laws authorizing the suspension of specie payments—when they refused their contractual obligation to pay specie for their notes. And their paper was accepted by the federal and state governments; whether one was buying land, paying import duties, purchasing a bond, or buying bank stock, for the government, bank paper was as good as gold. These plutocratic measures thus effected a redistribution of wealth, long before the emergence of socialism. Sumner said that the plutocrats of his own postbellum era (manufacturers, railroad barons, national bankers, and federal bond holders) were "simply trying to do what the generals, nobles, and priests have done in the past—get the power of the State into their hands, so as to bend the rights of others to their own advantage." The plutocrats of today are still at it, even more successfully, with almost no opposition. Myth #9: Hamilton Was Great Another myth is that the financial genius and economic statesmanship of Alexander Hamilton saved the credit of the infant United States and established the sound financial and economic foundation essential for future growth and prosperity. Ron Chernow’s hagiographic biography of Hamilton is now moving up the best seller charts, cluttering the display tables of Borders and Barnes & Noble, and taking up time on C-Span’s Booknotes; but its greatest contribution will be to perpetuate the Hamilton myth for another generation. Sumner’s concise and devastating biography of that vainglorious popinjay, written over a hundred years ago, remains the best. He closely studied Hamilton’s letters and writings, including the big three—his Report on the Public Credit (1790), Report on a National Bank (1790), and Report on Manufactures (1791)—and came to three conclusions: first, the New Yorker had never read Smith’s Wealth of Nations (1776), the most important economic treatise written in the Anglo-American world in that period; second, he was a mercantilist, who would have been quite at home serving in the ministry of Sir Robert Walpole or Lord North; and third, Hamilton believed many things that are not true—that federal bonds were a form of capital; that a national debt was a national blessing; that the existence of banks increased the capital of the country; that foreign trade drained a country of its wealth, unless it resulted in a trade surplus; and that higher taxes were a spur to industry and necessary because Americans were lazy and enjoyed too much leisure. The idea here was that if you taxed Americans more, they would have to work harder to maintain their standard of living, thus increasing the gross product of the country and providing the government with more revenue to spend on grand projects and military adventures. Hamilton was once stoned by a crowd of angry New York mechanics. Is it any wonder why? Myth #10: Agrarianism or Industrialism: We Must Choose Historians teach that Americans in the 1790s and 1800s had two economic choices—Hamilton and the Federalists who believed in sound money, banking, manufacturing, and economic progress, and the Jeffersonians who believed in inflation, agrarianism, and stasis. This is a gross simplification. Not all Federalists were Hamiltonian; many despised him. Hamilton dogmatically believed that the United States should become a manufacturing nation like England and that it was the duty of the federal government to bring this about by promotional policies. Jefferson , on the other hand, oscillated between liberalism and agrarianism. At his best, he was liberal, but for a long time he dogmatically believed that the United States should remain an agricultural nation, and that it was the duty of the federal government to keep it in such a state by delaying the onset of large-scale manufacturing. Hence, to expand trade, it should fight protectionist powers and hostile trading blocs, acquire more agricultural land through purchase or war, and, after obtaining the requisite amendment, fund the construction of internal improvements to foster the movement of agricultural produce to the seaports. Thus, Jefferson authored the Louisiana Purchase, the Tripolitan War, the Embargo; and his chosen successor, James Madison, the War of 1812, all designed to fulfill this agrarian vision. As president, Madison became ever-more Hamiltonian, supporting the re-establishment of the Bank of the United States , the raising of tariffs, conscription, and the appointment of nationalists to the Supreme Court. He appointed Joseph Story, which is like Ike appointing Earl Warren, or Bush appointing Souter. Meanwhile, in retirement, Jefferson advocated manufacturing to achieve national economic self-sufficiency. Why not Freedom? Besides industrialism and agrarianism, there was a third position—call it liberalism, or laissez-faire—which maintained that the government should promote neither manufacturing nor agriculture, but leave both alone, to prosper or not, expand or recede, according to the unerring guides of profitability, utility, individual choice, and economic law. Inspired by the writings of Adam Smith and David Ricardo, but even more those of the French radical school of Turgot, Say, and de Tracy, whose mottos laissez nous faire (leave the people alone) and ne trop gouverneur (do not govern too much) captured the essence of good government. Outstanding representatives of this liberal philosophy were the young Daniel Webster, who made his reputation for oratory with fiery speeches on behalf of free trade, hard money, and state rights as a New Hampshire congressman, and the great John Randolph of Virginia, who broke with Jefferson over the embargo and opposed the War of 1812, losing his seat as a consequence, and Condy Raguet, the influential political economist, who was the first American to develop a monetary theory of the business cycle, which he did in response to the panic of 1819. Laissez-faire was the cause of those who opposed plutocracy and supported the people. It represented both the moral high ground and sound economic reasoning. Conclusion When he was writing his masterful History of American Currency, Sumner grappled with the question of how North America had withstood levels of inflation and indebtedness that would have ruined any European country. His answer: "The future which we discount so freely honors our drafts on it. Six months [of] restraint avails to set us right, and our credit creations, as anticipations of future product of labor, become solidified." In other words, the country was so productive that the losses engendered by these excesses were quickly made up. He went on: "We often boast of the resources of our country, but we did not make the country. What ground is there for boasting here? The question for us is: What have we made of it? No one can justly appreciate the natural resources of this country until, by studying the deleterious effects of bad currency and bad taxation, he has formed some conception of how much, since the first settlers came here, has been wasted and lost." The unseen again. Let us begin with geography and resources, to which Sumner alludes. The lower 48 states are entirely in the temperate zone. Apart from the desert states of the southwest, all receive ample rainfall. Most of the land is fertile, and it is abundant. The country teems with natural resources. Then there are the people. Until very recently, the United States enjoyed a low density of population, which meant high wages and low land prices. And for centuries, the population has been one of the hardest working in the world, creating an infrastructure to build on. Then there is the culture. Largely because of the influence of Christianity, the debilitating sin of envy has no social standing here, unlike the Third World where it is perhaps the chief impediment to wealth-creation and development. Also, for the same reason, there is little bribery, which also impedes growth. Finally, there is the tradition of law, respect for private property, tradition of profit, and contractual freedom. These institutions—and not the fallacious ideas, corrupt institutions, and bad policies named above—form the core of American prosperity.

Outraged granny sues over Grand Theft Auto

A litigious 81-year-old New York granny has zimmered her way gently onto the "bash Grand Theft Auto" bandwagon by filing suit against the game's manufacturer for engaging in "false, misleading and deceptive practices", AP reports. Florence Cohen says she bought GTA: San Andreas for her 14-year-old grandson "without knowing it contained hidden, sexually explicit scenes" at a time when the controversial game was rated M (Mature), for gamers 17 years and over. Her suit is reported to be "on behalf of consumers nationwide". GTA was recently reclassified AO (Adult Only) following the discovery of sexually explicit scenes unlocked by a Dutch modder. The game's manufacturer - Take Two - admitted it would take quite a hit in the pocket as a result of the Entertainment Software Ratings Board's decision, but once the US media got hold of the story, major stores added to Take Two's woes by pulling GTA completely. Take Two is also facing a Federal Trade Commission probe into advertising for the game, and its assertion that it is now working on a new, rumpy-pumpy-free GTA will do little to convince Middle America that it is anything more than an emmissary of Satan. Which is where Florence Cohen comes in. She claims that she bought the game in late 2004 and - apparently realising only after getting home that it was rated M - she "directed that it be taken away from her grandson, which was done". Cohen's lawyer, Laurence D. Paskowitz, said: "No parent would knowingly buy an adult-only video game for their children. They [Take Two] should really make sure this doesn't happen again. The least this company can do is offer refunds." So, while US teenagers can, in the words of one Reg reader, "pimp hos, pop a cap in a drug dealer while driving a car stolen at gunpoint", they may not indulge in sexually explicit acts with their virtual girlfriends because "that threatens the very fabric of American society". As for the sex-free version of GTA, concerned parents can rest assured that after shooting up drug dealers with a semi-automatic rifle, their wide-eyed and innocent teen gamer will in future have to wind down with warm milk and cookies rather than an explosive climax with his bitch. ® Related stories FTC probes Grand Theft Auto GTA porn row - whose responsibility is it? Watchdog pops a cap in Grand Theft Auto Hillary Clinton demands GTA smut enquiry Gaming rocked by GTA smut revelation

'Free' Danish beer makes a splash

By Clark Boyd Technology correspondent The Danes love their beer, but increasingly they are looking beyond the old Danish standby, Carlsberg, to quench their thirst. The beer draws its inspiration from the open source movement It is called Vores Oel, or Our Beer, and the recipe is proving to be a worldwide hit. The idea behind the beer comes from open source software. This is software whose code is made publicly available for anyone to change and improve, provided that those changes and improvements are then shared in turn. Perhaps the most well-known example of open source software is the Linux operating system. Microsoft, on the other hand, creates proprietary software, meaning the company does not tend to let others see how its software works. The Danish brewer Carlsberg takes a similar approach to beer. Rasmus Nielsen, who runs a Copenhagen-based artist collective called Superflex, wanted to challenge the idea of "proprietary" beer. Software and alcohol He was teaching a workshop on intellectual property and copyright at the Information Technology University in Copenhagen. It's the kind of beer that you feel afterwards that you've eaten a steak or something Rasmus Nielsen, artist "Why not take those ideas back to the old world, and try to apply them to other things as well?" asks Nielsen. Why beer? As the Vores Oel website says, why not? "It's a universal commodity that we like to think of as free, but unfortunately it isn't," says Mr Nielsen. "So, I thought it was an appropriate medium to confront these issues." A group of about 15 students at the university agreed. "Beer is an amusing subject in a university environment," says Thorarinn Stefansson, one of the students who signed up for the open source beer project. "It's something more stimulating than perhaps making something non-edible or non-drinkable." Heavy brew To get started, the students met with the author of a Danish book on home-brewing. Then, they came to an agreement on what kind of beer they wanted. They bought the ingredients, and brewed up 100 litres of it in the university cafeteria. Mr Stefansson says he and the other students decided to call it Our Beer, version 1.0. Denmark is better known for its Carlsberg beer Our Beer turned out to be a darker, heavier brew than your typical Danish lager. "It's the kind of beer that you feel afterwards that you've eaten a steak or something. I mean, it's not the kind of beer you'd want to be drinking for a bachelor party or something," says Mr Nielsen. The students did supply an extra kick to their beer. They added guarana, a South American berry that packs a caffeine-like punch. The students also created a label for the beer, and a website that comes complete with catchy, open source music and sound effects. Global interest Most important, the students released the recipe under what is called a Creative Commons licence. "You're free to change it," says Mr Nielsen. "But if you use our recipe as the basis for your beer, you have to be open with your recipe as well. That's the legal framework that follows the beer." You can even sell your own version, as long as you credit Our Beer for the recipe. The tipple has proved a hit. The Our Beer website has been a busy place, says Mr Nielsen. "We got loads of questions from small beer brewers in Mexico, Brazil, and even Afghanistan," he says. "Afghanistan, that was weird." One smaller Danish brewer is even planning on brewing up some of Our Beer to sell in the autumn. Both Mr Nielsen and his students hope that what people take away from the Our Beer project is that open source is not just for the digital world. Mr Nielsen says there is no reason that developing countries could not use the idea to manufacture, for example, their own HIV/AIDS drugs. Clark Boyd is technology correspondent for The World, a BBC World Service and WGBH-Boston co-production

I.R.A. Renounces Violence in Potentially Profound Shift

"This is a step of unparalleled magnitude in the recent history of Northern Ireland," he said. The statement by the IRA said that its leadership had "formally ordered an end to the armed campaign," as the organization calls its military activities, which are described by supporters as armed struggle and by adversaries as terrorism. The shift followed growing revulsion among its Catholic supporters, both here and in the United States, at the I.R.A.'s involvement in organized crime and, since Sept. 11, at global terrorism. "Our decisions have been taken to advance our republican and democratic objectives, including our goal of a united Ireland. We believe there is now an alternative way to achieve this and to end British rule in our country," the statement said, apparently referring to the advances of its Sinn Fein political arm in both Northern Ireland and the Irish Republic. "All I.R.A. units have been ordered to dump arms," said the statement, which was read on the DVD by a former I.R.A. prisoner, Seanna Walsh. The statement also pledged "to complete the process to verifiably put its arms beyond use" - a reference to the I.R.A.'s reputedly vast hidden stockpiles of weapons. The I.R.A. also invited two independent clerics, one Catholic, one Protestant, to "testify" to disarmament. The statement did not say the I.R.A. was disbanding and did not refer specifically to the issue of crime by I.R.A. members, held responsible for a huge bank heist last December and a brutal barroom murder and cover-up in January.

Razer Copperhead

This image was lost some time after publication. Razer, makers of the Diamondback mouse, has come up with its successor: The Copperhead, which is supposedly the world's fastest gaming mouse. It boasts 2,000 DPI laser precision, 32kb onboard memory (in a mouse?!), 7 programmable "hyper response" buttons, up to three customizable weights, and way more features than a mouse should have, all for the name of boosting your gaming performance. Advertisement Frankly, I just like how it looks. Mm.. pretty blue glow. Razer Zone [Razer via Focusplay]

Sony BMG Called Close to Settlement With Spitzer

Eliot Spitzer, the New York attorney general, is close to a settlement with one of the world's largest record companies to resolve accusations that it used improper tactics to influence radio programmers to play its songs, people involved in the discussions said last night. The agreement between Mr. Spitzer and the record company, Sony BMG Music Entertainment, one of four music conglomerates under investigation, is expected to be announced on Monday, these people said. They cautioned, however, that the talks were continuing and could still break down. The settlement is expected to establish a blueprint for agreements that Mr. Spitzer will probably seek with the other three major record companies, which have all received subpoenas. Late last year, investigators in Mr. Spitzer's office served subpoenas on Sony BMG, a unit of Sony and Bertelsmann; the Universal Music Group, a unit of Vivendi Universal; the EMI Group; and the Warner Music Group seeking copies of contracts, billing records and other information detailing their ties to independent middlemen who pitch new songs to radio programmers in New York State. Investigators have also reviewed e-mail messages and internal memos and have questioned senior executives at Sony.

Stem cells in bone marrow replenish mouse ovaries

Previously unrecognized stem cells found in the bone marrow and blood of mice can "restock" a depleted ovary with new egg cells within weeks, according to new research published in this week's issue of the journal Cell. This finding provides direct evidence to overturn a long-held dogma in reproductive biology, that female mice generate egg cells only during fetal development and thus are born with a finite stock of eggs that declines throughout life. The new report significantly extends earlier work from the same research team reporting the first preliminary evidence that ovaries of mice can be renewed with new eggs in adulthood. The new study suggests an unexpected source for the progenitor cells that can jumpstart new egg cell production--outside of the ovary--say Jonathan Tilly and colleagues at Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School. The finding is "really revolutionizing how we think about female reproductive function," Tilly says. With the help of several genetic markers that are found in germ cells, the master cells that eventually give rise to the egg and sperm, the team shows evidence for the existence of germ cell progenitors, putative stem cells, in mouse bone marrow and blood. In addition, the researchers also found these markers in human bone marrow and blood. Remarkably, the researchers found that bone marrow or blood cell transplants appear to completely revive the ovaries of female mice sterilized by chemotherapy. Just 24 hours after a transplant, the sterilized mice had new egg cells and follicles, the nurturing group of cells that encloses each egg cell. Two months after bone marrow transplant, the ovaries of normal mice and mice that had undergone chemotherapy appeared nearly identical, Tilly and colleagues discovered. Expression of a germ cell marker in bone marrow fluctuated regularly with the female mouse's estrous cycle, much like the cyclical rise and fall of certain hormones. Further results suggest that the ovary itself is sending out a chemical signal to the bone marrow, readying the progenitor cells to travel to the ovary and restock its egg cell supply. Although it is not yet clear whether the egg cells (oocytes) generated following bone marrow transplants can mature and be fertilized to give rise to viable mouse pups, the findings provide an important first step toward investigating such potential for restoring fertility. In addition, the findings open the door for future studies examining whether restoration of ovaries could postpone the hormonal effects of menopause and could represent an alternative to hormone replacement therapy. Finally, the researchers would like to find out whether these stem cells could be coaxed to produce eggs in the laboratory, potentially providing a new source of eggs for therapeutic cloning. Johnson et al.: "Oocyte Generation in Adult Mammalian Ovaries by Putative Germ Cells in Bone Marrow and Peripheral Blood." Publishing in Cell, Vol. 122, pages 303–315, July 29, 2005, DOI 10.1016/j.cell.2005.06.031. www.cell.com Source : Cell Press

Dabblers And Blowhards (Idle Words)

Dabblers And Blowhards I actually worry a lot that as I get "popular" I'll be able to get away with saying stupider stuff than I would have dared say before. This sort of thing happens to a lot of people, and I would *really* like to avoid it - Paul Graham, posting on lemonodor.com About two years ago, the Lisp programmer and dot-com millionaire Paul Graham wrote an essay entitled Hackers and Painters, in which he argues that his approach to computer programming is better described by analogies to the visual arts than by the phrase "computer science". When this essay came out, I was working as a computer programmer, and since I had also spent a few years as a full-time oil painter, everybody who read the article and knew me sent along the hyperlink. I didn't particularly enjoy the essay — I thought the overall tone was glib, and I found the parallel to painting unconvincing — but it didn't seem like anything worth getting worked up about. Just another programmer writing about what made him tick. But the emailed links continued, and over the next two years Paul Graham steadily ramped up his output while moving definitively away from subjects he had expertise in (like Lisp) to topics like education, essay writing, history, and of course painting. Sometime last year I noticed he had started making bank from an actual print book of collected essays, titled (of course) "Hackers and Painters". I felt it was time for me to step up. So let me say it simply - hackers are nothing like painters. It's surprisingly hard to pin Paul Graham down on the nature of the special bond he thinks hobbyist programmers and painters share. In his essays he tends to flit from metaphor to metaphor like a butterfly, never pausing long enough to for a suspicious reader to catch up with his chloroform jar. The closest he comes to a clear thesis statement is at the beginning "Hackers and Painters": "[O]f all the different types of people I've known, hackers and painters are among the most alike. What hackers and painters have in common is that they're both makers." To which I'd add, what hackers and painters don't have in common is everything else. The fatuousness of the parallel becomes obvious if you think for five seconds about what computer programmers and painters actually do. Computer programmers cause a machine to perform a sequence of transformations on electronically stored data. cause a machine to perform a sequence of transformations on electronically stored data. Painters apply colored goo to cloth using animal hairs tied to a stick. It is true that both painters and programmers make things, just like a pastry chef makes a wedding cake, or a chicken makes an egg. But nothing about what they make, the purposes it serves, or how they go about doing it is in any way similar. Start with purpose. With the exception of art software projects (which I don't believe Graham has in mind here) all computer programs are designed to accomplish some kind of task. Even the most elegant of computer programs, in order to be considered a program, has to compile and run [1]. So just like mechanical engineers and architects, computer programmers create artifacts that have to stand up to an objective reality. No one cares how pretty the code is if the program won't work. The only objective constraint a painter has is making sure the paint physically stays on the canvas (something that has proven surprisingly challenging). Everything beyond that is aesthetics - arranging colored blobs in a way that best tickles the mind of the viewer. This difference is what makes programming so similar to engineering, which also tries to create beautiful things in the face of objective constraints, but it's a parallel that really rankles Graham. He interprets it as implying that there should be limits on the creative control programmers exercise over their work: [2] Doug Kaye: In what ways do you think to program is more like painting than it is like some of our more common metaphors such as engineering? Paul Graham: [...] in buildings, for example there is this distinction between architects and engineers. Architects decide what the building is going to look like basically and then they say to an engineer, "Can I do this? And then how?" And the engineer figures out how. So architects figure out "what," engineers figure out "how." Well painters do both. Painters decide what to paint and then have to paint it. And hackers in the best case also do both[3]. You can safely replace "painters" in this response with "poets", "composers", "pastry chefs" or "auto mechanics" with no loss of meaning or insight. There's nothing whatsoever distinctive about the analogy to painters, except that Paul Graham likes to paint, and would like to feel that his programming allows him a similar level of self-expression. The reason Graham's essay isn't entitled "Hackers and Pastry Chefs" is not because there is something that unites painters and programmers into a secret brotherhood, but because Paul Graham likes to cultivate the arty aura that comes from working in the visual arts. Having been both a painter and a programmer, I can certainly sympathize with him. Great paintings, for example, get you laid in a way that great computer programs never do. Even not-so-great paintings - in fact, any slapdash attempt at splashing paint onto a surface - will get you laid more than writing software, especially if you have the slightest hint of being a tortured, brooding soul about you. For evidence of this I would point to my college classmate Henning, who was a Swedish double art/theatre major and on most days could barely walk. Also remark that in painting, many of the women whose pants you are trying to get into aren't even wearing pants to begin with. Your job as a painter consists of staring at naked women, for as long as you wish, and this day in and day out through the course of a many-decades-long career. Not even rock musicians have been as successful in reducing the process to its fundamental, exhilirating essence. It's no surprise, then, that a computer programmer would want to bask in some of the peripheral coolness that comes with painting, especially when he has an axe to grind about his own work being 'mere engineering'. Yet while this might be charming or quirky in the abstract, it gets seriously annoying when real facts start getting butchered: ""When oil paint replaced tempera in the fifteenth century, it helped painters to deal with difficult subjects like the human figure because, unlike tempera, oil can be blended and overpainted." [4] "The paintings made between 1430 and 1500 are still unsurpassed." "Compositional symmetry yields some of the most memorable paintings" " It is not merely an accident of history that the great paintings of the Renaissance are all full of people. If they hadn't been, painting as a medium wouldn't have the prestige that it does." "Worse is Better is found throughout the arts. In drawing, for example, the idea was discovered during the Renaissance." "What made oil paint so exciting, when it first became popular in the fifteenth century, was that you could actually make the finished work from the prototype." "Most painters start with a blurry sketch and gradually refine it." "Line drawings are in fact the most difficult visual medium [5]" " The point of painting from life is that it gives your mind something to chew on: when your eyes are looking at something, your hand will do more interesting work." "Hackers need to understand the theory of computation about as much as painters need to understand paint chemistry. You need to know how to calculate time and space complexity and about Turing completeness. You might also want to remember at least the concept of a state machine, in case you have to write a parser or a regular expression library. Painters in fact have to remember a good deal more about paint chemistry than that." [6] All of these statements are wrong, or dumb, or both, and yet they are sprinkled through various essays like raisins in a fruitcake, with no further justification, and the reader is expected to enjoy the chewy burst of flavor and move on to the next tidbit. I am not qualified to call bullshit on Paul Graham when he writes about programming, history, starting a business, or even growing up as a social pariah, but I do know enough about art to see when someone is just making shit up. In Paul Graham's world, as soon as oil paint was invented, painting techniques made a discontinuous jump from the fifteenth to the twentienth century, fortuitously allowing Renaissance painters to paint a lot like Paul Graham. And the difficult problems the new medium supposedly helped painters solve just happened to resemble the painting problems that confront an enthusiastic but not particularly talented art student. I hope I am not the only to find this highly suspicious. I blame Eric Raymond and to a lesser extent Dave Winer for bringing this kind of schlock writing onto the Internet. Raymond is the original perpetrator of the "what is a hacker?" essay, in which you quickly begin to understand that a hacker is someone who resembles Eric Raymond. Dave Winer has recently and mercifully moved his essays off to audio, but you can still hear him snorfling cashew nuts and talking at length about what it means to be a blogger[7] . These essays and this writing style are tempting to people outside the subculture at hand because of their engaging personal tone and idiosyncratic, insider's view. But after a while, you begin to notice that all the essays are an elaborate set of mirrors set up to reflect different facets of the author, in a big distributed act of participatory narcissism. The whole genre reminds me of the the wooly business books one comes across at airports ("Management secrets of Gengis Khan", the "Lexus and the Olive Tree") that milk a bad analogy for two hundred pages to arrive at the conclusion that people just like the author are pretty great. This is a shame, both because Graham is an excellent author when he sticks to topics that he knows well, and because there are real books out there that address the connections between computer programming and visual art. The best of these is called Light and Color in the Outdoors . You may see my copy on a subway train somewhere, where it was liberated into greater New York by my roommate, the Bulgar of Fortune. Minnaert never specifically mentions painting or computer science, but the book is all about the optics and physics of outdoor phenomena, and you will never look at a sunset the same way again. From a more cultural studies angle, there is the unparalleled The Birth of the Modern : World Society 1815-1830 by Paul Johnson, which describes the historical moment when engineering and art bifurcated in Western culture, and is full of revealing character sketches of people you will immediately want to run out and read up on. John Ruskin is a Victorian art critic and enthusiast who is on my perennial to-read list, since he seems to have bridged a number of worlds and was a supremely effective popularizer of high art. He was also a talented draughtsman and watercolorist in his own right. And of course, the canonical art-and-computer book is Douglas Hofstadter's Gödel, Escher, Bach , which successfully makes the kind of extended analogy that Paul Graham can only dream of, and does so in a way that is both intellectually honest and mind-broadening. Any of these books will give you more in a page than Paul Graham can offer across the whole broad and aggressively expanding corpus of his online essays, and none of them will leave you with that dissatisfied, preached-at-in-the-corner-by-your-uncle feeling that has become a hallmark of Graham's less technical writing. As for the mystical connection between painters and programmers, the famous Lloyd Bentsen put-down keeps coming to mind. Unless you are actually making art with computers - something that can be perfectly wonderful - being a hobbyist programmer is not going to let you in to art club. You can look up to the guys who made the Boeing 747, the original Macintosh, the Verazzano Narrows bridge, and other beautiful artifacts of engineering and design. And you can aspire to walk in the footsteps of Faraday, Edison, Telford, Benjamin Franklin, and any other number of inspired tinkerers and builders. But you, sir, are no painter. And while you hack away at your terminal, or ride your homemade Segway, we painters and musicians are going to be right over here with all the wine, hash, and hot chicks. Hee hee. ------ [1] Some Arc hackers may disagree with this. [2] Paul Graham is a weenis. [3] Yes, these notes are a parody. [4] It's hard to understand how fatuous this statement is unless you've tried your hand at painting, which is one reason Graham gets away with this stuff. The allusion here is to a sketchy, iterative style of painting that used to be called "alla prima", where you block shapes in in oil paint and then swoosh them around the composition as the painting progresses, perhaps repainting entire sections of the picture. This is the way Graham and I were taught to paint, but it has nothing whatsoever to do with painting in the fifteenth century, where you had a superprecise underdrawing and underpainting that were covered with thin glazes of color. And it has equally little do with the difficulty of your subject matter. Being able to blend and overpaint has as much to do with being a skilled draughtsman as having an eraser on your pencil has to do with being a good writer. The Greeks did pretty well with the human form despite having to work in stone. [5] Dipshit. [6] All painters really have to remember about chemistry is fat over lean and don't ash in the turpentine. [7] Winer, at least, has yet to publish a HOWTO on proper oral sex technique, but if he ever touches a woman I expect the worst.

Poll: USA doubts Iraq success, but not ready to give up

Poll: USA doubts Iraq success, but not ready to give up By Susan Page, USA TODAY WASHINGTON — Most Americans don't believe the United States will succeed in winning the war in Iraq or establishing a stable democracy there, according to a USA TODAY/CNN/Gallup Poll. But an ambivalent public also says sending troops to Iraq wasn't a mistake, a sign that most people aren't yet ready to give up on the war. "There's a lot of conflicting impulses here," says Andrew Kohut, director of the non-partisan Pew Research Center. A Pew poll last week also showed crosscurrents in attitudes toward the Iraq war. "People are giving bleak assessments on the one hand, and on the other hand (they're) saying maybe it was still the right thing to do." The bombings in London this month also have roiled public opinion, intensifying a not-yet-settled debate among Americans about whether the Iraq war has made the United States safer from terrorism. Strong fears that a family member might become a victim of terrorism spiked in the survey, rising to their highest level since October 2001, just after the Sept. 11 attacks on New York and Washington. Meanwhile, in Baghdad, Iraqi officials continued to draft a constitution, due Aug. 15. Proposals to make Islam the main source of legislation in Iraq has prompted debate and opposition from groups concerned with women's rights. In the poll: For the first time, a majority of Americans, 51%, say the Bush administration deliberately misled the public about whether Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction — the reason Bush emphasized in making the case for invading. The administration's credibility on the issue has been steadily eroding since 2003. By 58%-37%, a majority say the United States won't be able to establish a stable, democratic government in Iraq. About one-third, 32%, say the United States can't win the war in Iraq. Another 21% say the United States could win the war, but they don't think it will. Just 43% predict a victory. Still, on the question that tests fundamental attitudes toward the war — was it a mistake to send U.S. troops? — the public's view has rebounded. By 53%-46%, those surveyed say it wasn't a mistake, the strongest support for the war since just after the Iraqi elections in January. "I think the American people understand the importance of completing the mission," White House press secretary Scott McClellan said when asked about the poll results. "Success in Iraq will help transform a dangerous region."

The Martian ice rink

Last updated at 09:42 29 July 2005 A beautiful circle of pale blue, it looks like an exotic pool where travellers could take a dip. But don't even think about packing your swimming gear and heading there. For this is a patch of ice sitting on the floor of a crater near the north pole of Mars. The picture was taken by the high-resolution stereo camera on board the European Space Agency probe Mars Express. Water Scientists obtained definitive proof of water on Mars more than 18 months ago and since then have produced pictures of varying quality. This is the most spectacular image to date. The impact crater is located on Vastitas Borealis, a broad plain that covers much of the far northern Martian latitudes. It is 21.7 miles wide and has a maximum depth of about 1.2 miles. The circular patch of frozen water is present all year round. Faint traces of ice are also visible along the rim of the crater and the crater walls. A large dune field is thought to lie beneath the ice layer, some of which is exposed at the edge of the bright patch. The existence of large bodies of water on Mars does not necessarily mean there was, or is, life there. But it makes it much more likely, although any such life is likely to be confined to primitive micro-organisms.

Police in London and Rome Arrest 4 Suspects in Attack

"We must not be complacent," he said. "The threat remains and is very real." The earlier statement from Rome was the first indication that a suspect had gotten as far as Italy. One unconfirmed report after the failed July 21 bombings said one would-be bomber had fled to Belgium or the Netherlands. Another said the man had left England in the past two or three days and had been tracked through Paris and Milan by cellphone calls to a brother-in-law resident in Rome. But the announcement from Rome seemed certain to raise questions about how a failed bomber had managed to slip out of Britain undetected, particularly since images showing all four suspects on closed-circuit television were made public just a day after the July 21 attacks. In London today, daylight raids on streets in Kensal Green and Westbourne Park injected what has become familiar imagery in this city under siege since the first terror attack on July 7 - streets cordoned and residents fleeing homes as the police ring unremarkable homes and apartments in quiet streets. People fled in underwear and dressing-gowns, clutching children, shoes and clothes, chased from their homes at late morning. A separate police statement today said two women, not identified by name, were arrested under anti-terrorism laws at Liverpool Street mainline station. The area around the station was sealed off after one of the women tried to run after refusing a police order to open a bag, witnesses said. In west London, explosions, possibly from stun grenades, boomed across leafy streets as police moved in, and at least one suspect was seen on television being led away handcuffed and clad in a white head-to-toe coverall to prevent the loss of forensic evidence. Police snipers using rifles with telescopic sights took up position overlooking the apartments where the arrests happened. The raids were arranged at short notice, probably after informants responded to increasingly desperate police appeals for information leading them to the suspects. Television showed police ordering one man, whom they addressed only as Mohammed, to undress and surrender.

Is your printer spying on you?

Secret codes enbedded into pages printed by some colour laser printers pose a risk to personal privacy, according to the Electronic Frontier Fundation. The US privacy group warns the approach - ostensibly only designed to identify counterfeiters - has become a tool for government surveillance, unchecked by laws to prevent abuse. "In the current political climate, it's not hard to imagine the government using the ability to determine who may have printed what document for purposes other than identifying counterfeiters," the EFF said. The ACLU recently issued a report revealing that the FBI has amassed more than 1,100 pages of documents on the organization since 2001, as well as documents concerning other non-violent groups, including Greenpeace and United for Peace and Justice. EFF notes that only the privacy policy of your printer manufacturers - rather than any legislative controls - stop the Secret Service from using printer codes to secretly trace the origin of non-currency documents. "No law regulates what sort of documents the Secret Service or any other domestic or foreign government agency is permitted to request for identification, not to mention how such a forensics tool could be developed and implemented in printers in the first place. With no laws on the books, there's nothing to stop the privacy violations this technology enables," the EFF warns. All this sounds like the stuff of black helicopter conspiracy theory but the EFF wants to flesh out its preliminary research by gathering information about what printers are revealing and how. It's asking consumers to get involved by sending in test sheets from colour laser printers. In addition to documenting what printers are revealing, the EFF is filing a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request over the issue. These research efforts are a necessary precursor to any legal challenge from the EFF and ammunition for possible lobbying on legislation to protect consumer privacy. ® Related stories Old PCs are goldmine for data thieves Printer ink seven times more expensive than Dom Perignon Lexmark suffers second knock back in DMCA case 'RFID the lot of them!' UK ID card to use ICAO reader standard Related links EFF white paper: Investigating Machine Identification Code Technology in Color Laser Printers

Police hold four 21 July suspects

SUSPECTED BOMBERS ARRESTED 1: Yassin Hassan Omar, 24, wanted over bomb attempt on Tube near Warren Street. 2: Ibrahim Muktar Said, 27, suspected of attempting to bomb a No 26 bus in Shoreditch 3: Ramzi Mohamed, wanted over failed attempt to bomb a Tube near Oval 4. Osman Hussain, wanted over the Shepherd's Bush attack, and arrested in Rome In pictures: London raids Italians arrest British suspect Roads were sealed off in west London as dozens of police, many armed and some in gas masks, surrounded properties. Two men held in north Kensington were filmed by a witness stripped to the waist after police raided a flat. Another suspect for the failed Tube and bus bombings has been arrested in Rome. The fourth suspect was detained in Birmingham on Wednesday. Friday's raids saw armed police surround flats at Peabody Buildings, in Dalgarno Gardens, north Kensington. Bare-chested One of those arrested there identified himself as Ibrahim Muktar Said, 27, wanted for the attempt to bomb a number 26 bus in Shoreditch, east London, eight days ago. A second man said his name was Ramzi Mohamed, suspected of the attempted Oval Tube bombing, police said. Osman Hussain had been staying with his brother Footage taken by a resident showed the suspects standing bare-chested on a balcony outside a flat. They had been asked to surrender to police, but failed to do so, Deputy Assistant Commissioner Peter Clarke, of the Metropolitan Police, said. "Specialist tactics" were then used, he said. Eyewitnesses had earlier talked of seeing officers wearing gas masks. The suspect arrested in Rome, who was named as Somali-born UK citizen Hussain Osman, 27, will be questioned over the bomb attempt at Shepherd's Bush station. He had been staying with his brother, who was also taken into custody, Italian officials said. Also on Friday, UK police arrested a third man in Notting Hill, west London, and two women at the city's Liverpool Street station. The as yet unnamed man, arrested in Tavistock Crescent, is said by police to be of significant interest in relation to the events of 21 July. The suspect detained last Wednesday in Birmingham was Yassin Hassan Omar, 24, who is being questioned over a bomb attempt on the Tube near Warren Street. 'I'm scared' One man was arrested following the Notting Hill raid BBC security correspondent Frank Gardner said police may have been able to make their arrests following tip-offs from the public or informants; electronic interception; or the questioning of people who were already in custody. "I understand that the questioning of those people they have in custody was very productive," he said. Our correspondent added that following Friday's arrests, the immediate priority for police was to establish if there were any further bomb plots. Also, officers would want to know if there were any explosives lying around in warehouses and who these detainees knew. Mr Clarke later confirmed to reporters that the Met would be seeking the return to Britain from Italy of Mr Osman. However, it is not yet clear if he will face any charges in Italy. Mr Clarke added that the public "must not be complacent" that the threat of attacks had disappeared in the wake of the arrests. "The threat remains and is very real," he said. Detectives believe there may also have been a fifth would-be bomber on 21 July, after a device was found on Saturday in a rucksack at Little Wormwood Scrubs, near Friday's operation. Scotland Yard described Friday as their "best day yet" since 21 July. Eyewitnesses to the raids in north Kensington say they heard three sounds like shots and a large explosion as officers wearing gas masks entered one of the properties. HAVE YOUR SAY We were all locked in the office and told not to go near the windows Rob Villa, London Send us your comments A police source later said no shots had been fired and that explosions reported by witnesses were the sounds of officers blowing off the door to a flat on the Peabody Buildings estate. In Dalgarno Gardens, officers were continually shouting at someone in a flat to come out. They were addressing him as "Muhammad", eyewitnesses said. The police asked him: "What is the problem? Why can't you come out? "Take your clothes off. Exit the building. Do you understand?" One resident told BBC News 24 she was inside a block of flats on the estate at the time. "They were shouting to him that he needed to come out with his arms up, in just his underwear. 'Almighty bang' "He was saying to them: 'How do I know when I come out, that you're not going to shoot me? I'm scared'." Police assured him he would not get shot as long as he followed instructions, she said, and that they knew he was not a risk to the officers or the public. Officers told other residents on the 350-property estate to "get inside now". Chris Stokes told BBC News: "We got told to move out of the way by armed police and within about five minutes we heard three gunshots go off behind the block of flats at Tavistock Crescent." Allan Sneddon, who lives nearby, told BBC News: "There was this almighty bang... big enough to shake the ground."

Parasites trigger healthy eating in caterpillars

A tiger moth caterpillar feeding on a ragwort plant, which contains toxins that are especially tasty to parasitized caterpillars. Photo: Michael Singer/NATURESome parasites trigger their own destruction by altering their hosts' behavior, researchers at The University of Arizona and Wesleyan University report in Nature. Many parasites have developed mechanisms that suppress their hosts' ability to fight them off or even change their behavior in favor of the parasite. "We found the opposite is true with tiger moth caterpillars and their parasites," said UA Regents' Professor Emerita Elizabeth Bernays. Bernays discovered the previously unknown phenomenon when she studied tiger moth caterpillars infected with parasitic fly larvae. The presence of the parasites alters their hosts' taste organs. As a result, the caterpillars prefer to consume plants containing chemicals toxic to the parasites. Bernays, who is in the department of entomology at UA's College of Agriculture and Life Sciences and in the Division of Neurobiology at UA's Arizona Research Laboratories, did the research with Michael Singer, a former doctoral student of hers who is now an assistant professor in the department of biology at Wesleyan University in Middletown, Conn. "It is a new and surprising kind of interaction between organisms," said Bernays. "When parasites change the behavior of their hosts, it's usually to their advantage." The chemical war starts when parasitic flies of the tachinid family seek out their victims, the caterpillars of two species of tiger moth, Grammia geneura and Estigmene acrea. The flies lay their eggs on the outer surface (cuticle) of the caterpillar. As soon as the larvae hatch they bore through the cuticle and squeeze inside the caterpillar's body. Inside they feast on the caterpillar's tissue, using it as an ever-fresh live supply of food. When the fly larvae have eventually consumed and killed their host, they pupate and develop into adult flies. But in the case of the tiger moth, co-evolution between parasite and host has resulted in an arms race involving chemical weapons. Some plants that the caterpillars feed on produce chemicals that are toxic to the parasites and kill them. The chemicals, known as pyrrolizidine alkaloids and iridoid glycosides, are secondary compounds made by plants such as ragwort and plantain. When the caterpillars consume those plants, the substances become distributed throughout the caterpillar's body. The caterpillars store especially high amounts in their skin and blood to deter various natural enemies. "Normally the caterpillars wander around and eat lots of different plants," explained Bernays. But caterpillars with parasites in their bodies behave differently, the team found. "They are likely to stay longer on those plants that contain the protective chemicals, thus eating more of the plants that are good for them," said Bernays. Using neurophysiological methods, Bernays and Singer figured out why parasitized caterpillars switch to a more healthful eating behavior. When parasites are present in a caterpillar, its taste cells react differently to chemicals in the food. The cells become more responsive to the protective chemicals and less sensitive to other chemicals, which are present in the same plants but are distasteful to the caterpillar and normally cause it to crawl off and look for tastier plants elsewhere. As a result, the change in behavior elicited by the parasites makes parasitized caterpillars consume more of the beneficial plants. In many cases, the altered behavior helps the caterpillar to escape its impending doom because the plant chemicals kill off its parasites. Bernays and her co-worker have not yet figured out by what mechanism the parasite elicits the change of behavior on a physiological level. "It's still a mystery how they do it," Bernays said. "But the result for the caterpillars is the same: They can survive because they find the protective plants more tasty." Source : University of Arizona

R We D8ting?

THE orange message light on my cellphone started blinking as I was getting ready for bed. Barely an hour had passed since our quick kiss goodnight at the subway, and I was surprised to see the screen light up with the initials I'd just entered into my phone. It wasn't voice mail; it was a text message, and it made me smile. U miss me? ;-) I'd met him a week before at my usual Wednesday night hangout. He was alone but gregarious, and he seemed to be pals with the female bartender -- a tacit vote of confidence. He chatted with my friends and me and then left with a wave from the door, and when my friend Kate and I ordered our next drinks, the bartender said this round was on the guy we'd been talking to. Surprised, we debated his motivations. I insisted that perfectly normal people sometimes buy strangers drinks just to be nice. Kate thought he was way too aggressive. When I saw him at the bar the next Wednesday, I thanked him for the drink. He asked if he could take me to dinner sometime; I said I'd think about it. He walked me to the subway and we exchanged numbers, but I thought it would be days before I heard from him, if ever, making this late-night text message all the more unexpected.

We Are the Web

Ten years ago, Netscape’s explosive IPO ignited huge piles of money. The brilliant flash revealed what had been invisible only a moment before: the World Wide Web. As Eric Schmidt (then at Sun, now at Google) noted, the day before the IPO, nothing about the Web; the day after, everything. This article has been reproduced in a new format and may be missing content or contain faulty links. Contact wiredlabs@wired.com to report an issue. Computing pioneer Vannevar Bush outlined the Web’s core idea – hyperlinked pages – in 1945, but the first person to try to build out the concept was a freethinker named Ted Nelson who envisioned his own scheme in 1965. However, he had little success connecting digital bits on a useful scale, and his efforts were known only to an isolated group of disciples. Few of the hackers writing code for the emerging Web in the 1990s knew about Nelson or his hyperlinked dream machine. At the suggestion of a computer-savvy friend, I got in touch with Nelson in 1984, a decade before Netscape. We met in a dark dockside bar in Sausalito, California. He was renting a houseboat nearby and had the air of someone with time on his hands. Folded notes erupted from his pockets, and long strips of paper slipped from overstuffed notebooks. Wearing a ballpoint pen on a string around his neck, he told me – way too earnestly for a bar at 4 o’clock in the afternoon – about his scheme for organizing all the knowledge of humanity. Salvation lay in cutting up 3 x 5 cards, of which he had plenty. Although Nelson was polite, charming, and smooth, I was too slow for his fast talk. But I got an aha! from his marvelous notion of hypertext. He was certain that every document in the world should be a footnote to some other document, and computers could make the links between them visible and permanent. But that was just the beginning! Scribbling on index cards, he sketched out complicated notions of transferring authorship back to creators and tracking payments as readers hopped along networks of documents, what he called the docuverse. He spoke of “transclusion” and “intertwingularity” as he described the grand utopian benefits of his embedded structure. It was going to save the world from stupidity. I believed him. Despite his quirks, it was clear to me that a hyperlinked world was inevitable – someday. But looking back now, after 10 years of living online, what surprises me about the genesis of the Web is how much was missing from Vannevar Bush’s vision, Nelson’s docuverse, and my own expectations. We all missed the big story. The revolution launched by Netscape’s IPO was only marginally about hypertext and human knowledge. At its heart was a new kind of participation that has since developed into an emerging culture based on sharing. And the ways of participating unleashed by hyperlinks are creating a new type of thinking – part human and part machine – found nowhere else on the planet or in history. Not only did we fail to imagine what the Web would become, we still don’t see it today! We are blind to the miracle it has blossomed into. And as a result of ignoring what the Web really is, we are likely to miss what it will grow into over the next 10 years. Any hope of discerning the state of the Web in 2015 requires that we own up to how wrong we were 10 years ago. 1995 Before the Netscape browser illuminated the Web, the Internet did not exist for most people. If it was acknowledged at all, it was mischaracterized as either corporate email (as exciting as a necktie) or a clubhouse for adolescent males (read: pimply nerds). It was hard to use. On the Internet, even dogs had to type. Who wanted to waste time on something so boring? The memories of an early enthusiast like myself can be unreliable, so I recently spent a few weeks reading stacks of old magazines and newspapers. Any promising new invention will have its naysayers, and the bigger the promises, the louder the nays. It’s not hard to find smart people saying stupid things about the Internet on the morning of its birth. In late 1994, Time magazine explained why the Internet would never go mainstream: “It was not designed for doing commerce, and it does not gracefully accommodate new arrivals.” Newsweek put the doubts more bluntly in a February 1995 headline: “THE INTERNET? BAH!” The article was written by astrophysicist and Net maven Cliff Stoll, who captured the prevailing skepticism of virtual communities and online shopping with one word: “baloney.” This dismissive attitude pervaded a meeting I had with the top leaders of ABC in 1989. I was there to make a presentation to the corner office crowd about this “Internet stuff.” To their credit, they realized something was happening. Still, nothing I could tell them would convince them that the Internet was not marginal, not just typing, and, most emphatically, not just teenage boys. Stephen Weiswasser, a senior VP, delivered the ultimate putdown: “The Internet will be the CB radio of the ’90s,” he told me, a charge he later repeated to the press. Weiswasser summed up ABC’s argument for ignoring the new medium: “You aren’t going to turn passive consumers into active trollers on the Internet.” I was shown the door. But I offered one tip before I left. “Look,” I said. “I happen to know that the address abc.com has not been registered. Go down to your basement, find your most technical computer guy, and have him register abc.com immediately. Don’t even think about it. It will be a good thing to do.” They thanked me vacantly. I checked a week later. The domain was still unregistered. While it is easy to smile at the dodos in TV land, they were not the only ones who had trouble imagining an alternative to couch potatoes. Wired did, too. When I examine issues of Wired from before the Netscape IPO (issues that I proudly edited), I am surprised to see them touting a future of high production-value content – 5,000 always-on channels and virtual reality, with a side order of email sprinkled with bits of the Library of Congress. In fact, Wired offered a vision nearly identical to that of Internet wannabes in the broadcast, publishing, software, and movie industries: basically, TV that worked. The question was who would program the box. Wired looked forward to a constellation of new media upstarts like Nintendo and Yahoo!, not old-media dinosaurs like ABC. Problem was, content was expensive to produce, and 5,000 channels of it would be 5,000 times as costly. No company was rich enough, no industry large enough, to carry off such an enterprise. The great telecom companies, which were supposed to wire up the digital revolution, were paralyzed by the uncertainties of funding the Net. In June 1994, David Quinn of British Telecom admitted to a conference of software publishers, “I’m not sure how you’d make money out of it.” The immense sums of money supposedly required to fill the Net with content sent many technocritics into a tizzy. They were deeply concerned that cyberspace would become cyburbia – privately owned and operated. Writing in Electronic Engineering Times in 1995, Jeff Johnson worried: “Ideally, individuals and small businesses would use the information highway to communicate, but it is more likely that the information highway will be controlled by Fortune 500 companies in 10 years.” The impact would be more than commercial. “Speech in cyberspace will not be free if we allow big business to control every square inch of the Net,” wrote Andrew Shapiro in The Nation in July 1995. The fear of commercialization was strongest among hardcore programmers: the coders, Unix weenies, TCP/IP fans, and selfless volunteer IT folk who kept the ad hoc network running. The major administrators thought of their work as noble, a gift to humanity. They saw the Internet as an open commons, not to be undone by greed or commercialization. It’s hard to believe now, but until 1991, commercial enterprise on the Internet was strictly prohibited. Even then, the rules favored public institutions and forbade “extensive use for private or personal business.” In the mid-1980s, when I was involved in the WELL, an early nonprofit online system, we struggled to connect it to the emerging Internet but were thwarted, in part, by the “acceptable use” policy of the National Science Foundation (which ran the Internet backbone). In the eyes of the NSF, the Internet was funded for research, not commerce. At first this restriction wasn’t a problem for online services, because most providers, the WELL included, were isolated from one another. Paying customers could send email within the system – but not outside it. In 1987, the WELL fudged a way to forward outside email through the Net without confronting the acceptable use policy, which our organization’s own techies were reluctant to break. The NSF rule reflected a lingering sentiment that the Internet would be devalued, if not trashed, by opening it up to commercial interests. Spam was already a problem (one every week!). This attitude prevailed even in the offices of Wired. In 1994, during the first design meetings for Wired‘s embryonic Web site, HotWired, programmers were upset that the innovation we were cooking up – what are now called clickthrough ad banners – subverted the great social potential of this new territory. The Web was hardly out of diapers, and already they were being asked to blight it with billboards and commercials. Only in May 1995, after the NSF finally opened the floodgates to ecommerce, did the geek elite begin to relax. Three months later, Netscape’s public offering took off, and in a blink a world of DIY possibilities was born. Suddenly it became clear that ordinary people could create material anyone with a connection could view. The burgeoning online audience no longer needed ABC for content. Netscape’s stock peaked at $75 on its first day of trading, and the world gasped in awe. Was this insanity, or the start of something new? 2005 The scope of the Web today is hard to fathom. The total number of Web pages, including those that are dynamically created upon request and document files available through links, exceeds 600 billion. That’s 100 pages per person alive. How could we create so much, so fast, so well? In fewer than 4,000 days, we have encoded half a trillion versions of our collective story and put them in front of 1 billion people, or one-sixth of the world’s population. That remarkable achievement was not in anyone’s 10-year plan. The accretion of tiny marvels can numb us to the arrival of the stupendous. Today, at any Net terminal, you can get: an amazing variety of music and video, an evolving encyclopedia, weather forecasts, help wanted ads, satellite images of anyplace on Earth, up-to-the-minute news from around the globe, tax forms, TV guides, road maps with driving directions, real-time stock quotes, telephone numbers, real estate listings with virtual walk-throughs, pictures of just about anything, sports scores, places to buy almost anything, records of political contributions, library catalogs, appliance manuals, live traffic reports, archives to major newspapers – all wrapped up in an interactive index that really works. This view is spookily godlike. You can switch your gaze of a spot in the world from map to satellite to 3-D just by clicking. Recall the past? It’s there. Or listen to the daily complaints and travails of almost anyone who blogs (and doesn’t everyone?). I doubt angels have a better view of humanity. Why aren’t we more amazed by this fullness? Kings of old would have gone to war to win such abilities. Only small children would have dreamed such a magic window could be real. I have reviewed the expectations of waking adults and wise experts, and I can affirm that this comprehensive wealth of material, available on demand and free of charge, was not in anyone’s scenario. Ten years ago, anyone silly enough to trumpet the above list as a vision of the near future would have been confronted by the evidence: There wasn’t enough money in all the investment firms in the entire world to fund such a cornucopia. The success of the Web at this scale was impossible. But if we have learned anything in the past decade, it is the plausibility of the impossible. Take eBay. In some 4,000 days, eBay has gone from marginal Bay Area experiment in community markets to the most profitable spinoff of hypertext. At any one moment, 50 million auctions race through the site. An estimated half a million folks make their living selling through Internet auctions. Ten years ago I heard skeptics swear nobody would ever buy a car on the Web. Last year eBay Motors sold $11 billion worth of vehicles. EBay’s 2001 auction of a $4.9 million private jet would have shocked anyone in 1995 – and still smells implausible today. Nowhere in Ted Nelson’s convoluted sketches of hypertext transclusion did the fantasy of a global flea market appear. Especially as the ultimate business model! He hoped to franchise his Xanadu hypertext systems in the physical world at the scale of a copy shop or caf – you would go to a store to do your hypertexting. Xanadu would take a cut of the action. Instead, we have an open global flea market that handles 1.4 billion auctions every year and operates from your bedroom. Users do most of the work; they photograph, catalog, post, and manage their own auctions. And they police themselves; while eBay and other auction sites do call in the authorities to arrest serial abusers, the chief method of ensuring fairness is a system of user-generated ratings. Three billion feedback comments can work wonders. What we all failed to see was how much of this new world would be manufactured by users, not corporate interests. Amazon.com customers rushed with surprising speed and intelligence to write the reviews that made the site’s long-tail selection usable. Owners of Adobe, Apple, and most major software products offer help and advice on the developer’s forum Web pages, serving as high-quality customer support for new buyers. And in the greatest leverage of the common user, Google turns traffic and link patterns generated by 2 billion searches a month into the organizing intelligence for a new economy. This bottom-up takeover was not in anyone’s 10-year vision. No Web phenomenon is more confounding than blogging. Everything media experts knew about audiences – and they knew a lot – confirmed the focus group belief that audiences would never get off their butts and start making their own entertainment. Everyone knew writing and reading were dead; music was too much trouble to make when you could sit back and listen; video production was simply out of reach of amateurs. Blogs and other participant media would never happen, or if they happened they would not draw an audience, or if they drew an audience they would not matter. What a shock, then, to witness the near-instantaneous rise of 50 million blogs, with a new one appearing every two seconds. There – another new blog! One more person doing what AOL and ABC – and almost everyone else – expected only AOL and ABC to be doing. These user-created channels make no sense economically. Where are the time, energy, and resources coming from? The audience. I run a blog about cool tools. I write it for my own delight and for the benefit of friends. The Web extends my passion to a far wider group for no extra cost or effort. In this way, my site is part of a vast and growing gift economy, a visible underground of valuable creations – text, music, film, software, tools, and services – all given away for free. This gift economy fuels an abundance of choices. It spurs the grateful to reciprocate. It permits easy modification and reuse, and thus promotes consumers into producers. The open source software movement is another example. Key ingredients of collaborative programming – swapping code, updating instantly, recruiting globally – didn’t work on a large scale until the Web was woven. Then software became something you could join, either as a beta tester or as a coder on an open source project. The clever “view source” browser option let the average Web surfer in on the act. And anyone could rustle up a link – which, it turns out, is the most powerful invention of the decade. Linking unleashes involvement and interactivity at levels once thought unfashionable or impossible. It transforms reading into navigating and enlarges small actions into powerful forces. For instance, hyperlinks made it much easier to create a seamless, scrolling street map of every town. They made it easier for people to refer to those maps. And hyperlinks made it possible for almost anyone to annotate, amend, and improve any map embedded in the Web. Cartography has gone from spectator art to participatory democracy. The electricity of participation nudges ordinary folks to invest huge hunks of energy and time into making free encyclopedias, creating public tutorials for changing a flat tire, or cataloging the votes in the Senate. More and more of the Web runs in this mode. One study found that only 40 percent of the Web is commercial. The rest runs on duty or passion. Coming out of the industrial age, when mass-produced goods outclassed anything you could make yourself, this sudden tilt toward consumer involvement is a complete Lazarus move: “We thought that died long ago.” The deep enthusiasm for making things, for interacting more deeply than just choosing options, is the great force not reckoned 10 years ago. This impulse for participation has upended the economy and is steadily turning the sphere of social networking – smart mobs, hive minds, and collaborative action – into the main event. When a company opens its databases to users, as Amazon, Google, and eBay have done with their Web services, it is encouraging participation at new levels. The corporation’s data becomes part of the commons and an invitation to participate. People who take advantage of these capabilities are no longer customers; they’re the company’s developers, vendors, skunk works, and fan base. A little over a decade ago, a phone survey by Macworld asked a few hundred people what they thought would be worth $10 per month on the information superhighway. The participants started with uplifting services: educational courses, reference books, electronic voting, and library information. The bottom of the list ended with sports statistics, role-playing games, gambling, and dating. Ten years later what folks actually use the Internet for is inverted. According to a 2004 Stanford study, people use the Internet for (in order): playing games, “just surfing,” shopping the list ends with responsible activities like politics and banking. (Some even admitted to porn.) Remember, shopping wasn’t supposed to happen. Where’s Cliff Stoll, the guy who said the Internet was baloney and online catalogs humbug? He has a little online store where he sells handcrafted Klein bottles. The public’s fantasy, revealed in that 1994 survey, began reasonably with the conventional notions of a downloadable world. These assumptions were wired into the infrastructure. The bandwidth on cable and phone lines was asymmetrical: Download rates far exceeded upload rates. The dogma of the age held that ordinary people had no need to upload; they were consumers, not producers. Fast-forward to today, and the poster child of the new Internet regime is BitTorrent. The brilliance of BitTorrent is in its exploitation of near-symmetrical communication rates. Users upload stuff while they are downloading. It assumes participation, not mere consumption. Our communication infrastructure has taken only the first steps in this great shift from audience to participants, but that is where it will go in the next decade. With the steady advance of new ways to share, the Web has embedded itself into every class, occupation, and region. Indeed, people’s anxiety about the Internet being out of the mainstream seems quaint now. In part because of the ease of creation and dissemination, online culture is the culture. Likewise, the worry about the Internet being 100 percent male was entirely misplaced. Everyone missed the party celebrating the 2002 flip-point when women online first outnumbered men. Today, 52 percent of netizens are female. And, of course, the Internet is not and has never been a teenage realm. In 2005, the average user is a bone-creaking 41 years old. What could be a better mark of irreversible acceptance than adoption by the Amish? I was visiting some Amish farmers recently. They fit the archetype perfectly: straw hats, scraggly beards, wives with bonnets, no electricity, no phones or TVs, horse and buggy outside. They have an undeserved reputation for resisting all technology, when actually they are just very late adopters. Still, I was amazed to hear them mention their Web sites. “Amish Web sites?” I asked. “For advertising our family business. We weld barbecue grills in our shop.” “Yes, but “ “Oh, we use the Internet terminal at the public library. And Yahoo!” I knew then the battle was over. 2015 The Web continues to evolve from a world ruled by mass media and mass audiences to one ruled by messy media and messy participation. How far can this frenzy of creativity go? Encouraged by Web-enabled sales, 175,000 books were published and more than 30,000 music albums were released in the US last year. At the same time, 14 million blogs launched worldwide. All these numbers are escalating. A simple extrapolation suggests that in the near future, everyone alive will (on average) write a song, author a book, make a video, craft a weblog, and code a program. This idea is less outrageous than the notion 150 years ago that someday everyone would write a letter or take a photograph. What happens when the data flow is asymmetrical – but in favor of creators? What happens when everyone is uploading far more than they download? If everyone is busy making, altering, mixing, and mashing, who will have time to sit back and veg out? Who will be a consumer? No one. And that’s just fine. A world where production outpaces consumption should not be sustainable; that’s a lesson from Economics 101. But online, where many ideas that don’t work in theory succeed in practice, the audience increasingly doesn’t matter. What matters is the network of social creation, the community of collaborative interaction that futurist Alvin Toffler called prosumption. As with blogging and BitTorrent, prosumers produce and consume at once. The producers are the audience, the act of making is the act of watching, and every link is both a point of departure and a destination. But if a roiling mess of participation is all we think the Web will become, we are likely to miss the big news, again. The experts are certainly missing it. The Pew Internet & American Life Project surveyed more than 1,200 professionals in 2004, asking them to predict the Net’s next decade. One scenario earned agreement from two-thirds of the respondents: “As computing devices become embedded in everything from clothes to appliances to cars to phones, these networked devices will allow greater surveillance by governments and businesses.” Another was affirmed by one-third: “By 2014, use of the Internet will increase the size of people’s social networks far beyond what has traditionally been the case.” These are safe bets, but they fail to capture the Web’s disruptive trajectory. The real transformation under way is more akin to what Sun’s John Gage had in mind in 1988 when he famously said, “The network is the computer.” He was talking about the company’s vision of the thin-client desktop, but his phrase neatly sums up the destiny of the Web: As the OS for a megacomputer that encompasses the Internet, all its services, all peripheral chips and affiliated devices from scanners to satellites, and the billions of human minds entangled in this global network. This gargantuan Machine already exists in a primitive form. In the coming decade, it will evolve into an integral extension not only of our senses and bodies but our minds. Today, the Machine acts like a very large computer with top-level functions that operate at approximately the clock speed of an early PC. It processes 1 million emails each second, which essentially means network email runs at 1 megahertz. Same with Web searches. Instant messaging runs at 100 kilohertz, SMS at 1 kilohertz. The Machine’s total external RAM is about 200 terabytes. In any one second, 10 terabits can be coursing through its backbone, and each year it generates nearly 20 exabytes of data. Its distributed “chip” spans 1 billion active PCs, which is approximately the number of transistors in one PC. This planet-sized computer is comparable in complexity to a human brain. Both the brain and the Web have hundreds of billions of neurons (or Web pages). Each biological neuron sprouts synaptic links to thousands of other neurons, while each Web page branches into dozens of hyperlinks. That adds up to a trillion “synapses” between the static pages on the Web. The human brain has about 100 times that number – but brains are not doubling in size every few years. The Machine is. Since each of its “transistors” is itself a personal computer with a billion transistors running lower functions, the Machine is fractal. In total, it harnesses a quintillion transistors, expanding its complexity beyond that of a biological brain. It has already surpassed the 20-petahertz threshold for potential intelligence as calculated by Ray Kurzweil. For this reason some researchers pursuing artificial intelligence have switched their bets to the Net as the computer most likely to think first. Danny Hillis, a computer scientist who once claimed he wanted to make an AI “that would be proud of me,” has invented massively parallel supercomputers in part to advance us in that direction. He now believes the first real AI will emerge not in a stand-alone supercomputer like IBM’s proposed 23-teraflop Blue Brain, but in the vast digital tangle of the global Machine. In 10 years, the system will contain hundreds of millions of miles of fiber-optic neurons linking the billions of ant-smart chips embedded into manufactured products, buried in environmental sensors, staring out from satellite cameras, guiding cars, and saturating our world with enough complexity to begin to learn. We will live inside this thing. Today the nascent Machine routes packets around disturbances in its lines; by 2015 it will anticipate disturbances and avoid them. It will have a robust immune system, weeding spam from its trunk lines, eliminating viruses and denial-of-service attacks the moment they are launched, and dissuading malefactors from injuring it again. The patterns of the Machine’s internal workings will be so complex they won’t be repeatable; you won’t always get the same answer to a given question. It will take intuition to maximize what the global network has to offer. The most obvious development birthed by this platform will be the absorption of routine. The Machine will take on anything we do more than twice. It will be the Anticipation Machine. One great advantage the Machine holds in this regard: It’s always on. It is very hard to learn if you keep getting turned off, which is the fate of most computers. AI researchers rejoice when an adaptive learning program runs for days without crashing. The fetal Machine has been running continuously for at least 10 years (30 if you want to be picky). I am aware of no other machine – of any type – that has run that long with zero downtime. While portions may spin down due to power outages or cascading infections, the entire thing is unlikely to go quiet in the coming decade. It will be the most reliable gadget we have. And the most universal. By 2015, desktop operating systems will be largely irrelevant. The Web will be the only OS worth coding for. It won’t matter what device you use, as long as it runs on the Web OS. You will reach the same distributed computer whether you log on via phone, PDA, laptop, or HDTV. In the 1990s, the big players called that convergence. They peddled the image of multiple kinds of signals entering our lives through one box – a box they hoped to control. By 2015 this image will be turned inside out. In reality, each device is a differently shaped window that peers into the global computer. Nothing converges. The Machine is an unbounded thing that will take a billion windows to glimpse even part of. It is what you’ll see on the other side of any screen. And who will write the software that makes this contraption useful and productive? We will. In fact, we’re already doing it, each of us, every day. When we post and then tag pictures on the community photo album Flickr, we are teaching the Machine to give names to images. The thickening links between caption and picture form a neural net that can learn. Think of the 100 billion times per day humans click on a Web page as a way of teaching the Machine what we think is important. Each time we forge a link between words, we teach it an idea. Wikipedia encourages its citizen authors to link each fact in an article to a reference citation. Over time, a Wikipedia article becomes totally underlined in blue as ideas are cross-referenced. That massive cross-referencing is how brains think and remember. It is how neural nets answer questions. It is how our global skin of neurons will adapt autonomously and acquire a higher level of knowledge. The human brain has no department full of programming cells that configure the mind. Rather, brain cells program themselves simply by being used. Likewise, our questions program the Machine to answer questions. We think we are merely wasting time when we surf mindlessly or blog an item, but each time we click a link we strengthen a node somewhere in the Web OS, thereby programming the Machine by using it. What will most surprise us is how dependent we will be on what the Machine knows – about us and about what we want to know. We already find it easier to Google something a second or third time rather than remember it ourselves. The more we teach this megacomputer, the more it will assume responsibility for our knowing. It will become our memory. Then it will become our identity. In 2015 many people, when divorced from the Machine, won’t feel like themselves – as if they’d had a lobotomy. Legend has it that Ted Nelson invented Xanadu as a remedy for his poor memory and attention deficit disorder. In this light, the Web as memory bank should be no surprise. Still, the birth of a machine that subsumes all other machines so that in effect there is only one Machine, which penetrates our lives to such a degree that it becomes essential to our identity – this will be full of surprises. Especially since it is only the beginning. There is only one time in the history of each planet when its inhabitants first wire up its innumerable parts to make one large Machine. Later that Machine may run faster, but there is only one time when it is born. You and I are alive at this moment. We should marvel, but people alive at such times usually don’t. Every few centuries, the steady march of change meets a discontinuity, and history hinges on that moment. We look back on those pivotal eras and wonder what it would have been like to be alive then. Confucius, Zoroaster, Buddha, and the latter Jewish patriarchs lived in the same historical era, an inflection point known as the axial age of religion. Few world religions were born after this time. Similarly, the great personalities converging upon the American Revolution and the geniuses who commingled during the invention of modern science in the 17th century mark additional axial phases in the short history of our civilization. Three thousand years from now, when keen minds review the past, I believe that our ancient time, here at the cusp of the third millennium, will be seen as another such era. In the years roughly coincidental with the Netscape IPO, humans began animating inert objects with tiny slivers of intelligence, connecting them into a global field, and linking their own minds into a single thing. This will be recognized as the largest, most complex, and most surprising event on the planet. Weaving nerves out of glass and radio waves, our species began wiring up all regions, all processes, all facts and notions into a grand network. From this embryonic neural net was born a collaborative interface for our civilization, a sensing, cognitive device with power that exceeded any previous invention. The Machine provided a new way of thinking (perfect search, total recall) and a new mind for an old species. It was the Beginning. In retrospect, the Netscape IPO was a puny rocket to herald such a moment. The product and the company quickly withered into irrelevance, and the excessive exuberance of its IPO was downright tame compared with the dotcoms that followed. First moments are often like that. After the hysteria has died down, after the millions of dollars have been gained and lost, after the strands of mind, once achingly isolated, have started to come together – the only thing we can say is: Our Machine is born. It’s on. Senior maverick Kevin Kelly (kk@kk.org) wrote about the universe as a computer in issue 10.12.

Home

Oil washes up along 5 miles of Johnson Beach on Perdido Key

A Hacker Games the Hotel

A vulnerability in many hotel television infrared systems can allow a hacker to obtain guests' names and their room numbers from the billing system. It can also let someone read the e-mail of guests who use web mail through the TV, putting business travelers at risk of corporate espionage. And it can allow an intruder to add or delete charges on a hotel guest's bill or watch pornographic films and other premium content on their hotel TV without paying for it. Adam Laurie, technical director of the London security and networking firm The Bunker showed Wired News how he conducted such attacks at hotels around the world before he was to speak about the vulnerability Saturday at the DefCon hacker conference in Las Vegas. Laurie is known as Major Malfunction in the hacker community. He also revealed how infrared used for garage door openers and car-door locks could be hacked, using simple brute force programming techniques to decipher the code that opens the doors. "No one thinks about the security risks of infrared because they think it's used for minor things like garage doors and TV remotes," Laurie said. "But infrared uses really simple codes, and they don't put any kind of authentication (in it)…. If the system was designed properly, I shouldn't be able to do what I can do." Ifrared is used in vending machines, scrolling LED public display signs, air conditioning systems, hotel minibars, robotic toys and home automation systems that control lighting and air conditioning from a console. But hotel TV systems are the most serious target from a privacy standpoint because they are connected to databases that contain information about guests. Laurie said the vulnerability lies with how hotels have implemented the backend of infrared systems, placing control of the system at the user end, where the TV is located, rather than at the server end with administrators. Laurie found that the backend systems in many hotels around the world don't have password protection or other authentication schemes to prevent unauthorized users from gaining access to them through the TV. And they fail to use encryption to protect data as it's transferred and stored. The only hardware an intruder needs is a laptop running Linux, an infrared transmitter and a USB TV tuner. Laurie said the attack can also be performed using the infrared port built into many laptops. Plugging the TV into the tuner, which is the size of a laptop power pack, and the tuner into his laptop, Laurie is able to use his laptop to pick up content through hotel TVs that the backend system is broadcasting but not currently displaying on the TV. "It's the same as tuning your TV to multiple channels," Laurie said. "(When you're looking at one channel) the signal (for other channels) is always there, but you're only currently looking at one part of the spectrum." You don't see what's broadcasting on the other channels until you tune into them. Laurie first discovered the vulnerability when he was "mucking about with hotel TVs to get the porn channel without paying for it." He was able to bypass TV billing menus by using his laptop to tune in to the premium content being broadcast from backend systems. He didn't have to pay for the content, because the systems didn't know he was watching it. Additionally, he could use hidden codes that transmitted from the remote-control device to the TV through infrared to control functions in the system. But finding those codes and determining what function each controlled wasn't easy. It could take hours to decipher the more than 16,000 possible codes a TV remote uses. But Laurie automated the process by using a program he wrote that analyzed and mapped all the possible codes in 35 minutes to see which ones were relevant for the system he was trying to crack. Laurie doesn't plan to release the program. Then he wrote a script that spit out codes to a TV to see what happened. Within an hour and a half, he had a list of codes that controlled things such as billing for the minibar and the room-cleaning status reports – a menu maids use to report when they've finished cleaning a room. Laurie could alter the reports with little effort. In some hotels, the front desk can lock and unlock the minibar remotely, or maids can do it using a remote and an infrared receiver on the front of the bar. Laurie found he could do it, too. One day at a Holiday Inn, he accidentally locked the minibar while he was trying to find the commands that controlled it. "Unfortunately, I did it before I got that beer out!" he said, pointing to a slide showing a can of suds taunting him through the minibar's glass door. "That was motivation to find the other half of that code (to open it)." He found he could also change filtering on the TV to block certain content or unblock other content. But one of the most serious vulnerabilities he found was in the billing system. Hotel guests can use their TV to check their account balance. The bill is tied to the room number, which in turn has a unique address that's assigned to the TV. Laurie could view the bills of other guests and see their room numbers simply by going to a menu that displayed the address of the TV in his room and changing a number in the address to make the TV think it was in a different room. "If I change that address – it was A161 and I've now changed it to A162 – I'm now looking at the bill of the guy next door," he said. If he wanted to know the names and room numbers of all the guests in a hotel, he could automate the process by writing a simple script to call up sequential TV addresses, then set a video camera on a tripod in front of the TV to capture the bills as they came up. "That tells me who's in there, who's sharing (the room) with who and what they've been doing," he said. This sort of hack would be useful to any number of people, including paparazzi stalking celebrities and private detectives hired by spouses. "Why would they connect (the TV) to a billing system?" Laurie asked. "Because they don't think. As far as the hotel is concerned, you're the only person who can see (your bill). But they're sending you confidential data over the air through a broadcast system. It's the equivalent of running an open wireless access point. If I tune my TV to your channel, then I get to see what you're doing." Laurie could view certain activities of other guests by tuning to other channels or by scanning through all possible channels in the system. That's because when a guest purchases premium content or TV internet access, the hotel system assigns a channel to the guest's room through which to deliver the service. All Laurie had to do was surf the channels. He produced a slide of his TV screen showing another hotel guest sifting through business proposals in his e-mail. "He's happily typing away in his room thinking he's privately viewing his e-mail," Laurie said. "But I could be anywhere else in the building watching what's going on (from) the TV. If I was a business rival staying in the same hotel at a conference, I could do a little corporate espionage. I see the (bid) proposal he's putting in and I could go in and put one in that's 10 bucks cheaper." He could also distract the guest with a call while he's still logged into his account, and take over his desktop while he's not looking. "I'm now controlling the account that he's logged into," he said. "I'm just being him for the moment." Laurie has been testing infrared systems for two years and said every time he breaks into a new system he finds a new feature – something he didn't initially think he could do through the remote, which he can now do. "There's (still) a whole bunch of data (in these systems) that I don't know what it means, but I know where the manufacturers' programming manuals are, so I can go and download them and figure it out," he said. Many hotels use the same systems. Laurie said he's seen only three or four different backend systems and only two front-end systems for the most part – TVs made either by Phillips or Loewe. This means he doesn't have to repeat the research at each hotel. Laurie can also use the television as a backdoor to the network. Surfing through channels with his laptop one day, he suddenly found himself viewing the desktop of a backend computer. He discovered that he could control the cursor on the desktop to maneuver through the master control panel. He could also click icons on the desktop and launch applications. With all of these vulnerabilities, it might seem possible to upload malicious code into a backend system through the infrared as well. Laurie hasn't tried it yet. "It's on the to-do list," he said. Cisco Security Hole a Whopper Privacy Guru Locks Down VOIP Known Hole Aided T-Mobile Breach The Fight Over Cyber Oversight Hide Out Under a Security Blanket

File-Sharing Is, Like, Totally Uncool

The producer tells her sad story with her fists curled inside the sleeves of an oversize hooded sweatshirt: "I'm, like, losing my job, and maybe I, like, need that money for my family or something." The cause of her consternation: peer-to-peer file-sharing, which she says is devastating Hollywood. The "producer" doesn't produce movies any more than the "actor" or "singer" sitting beside her acts or sings. They are all seventh-graders at Sierra Vista Junior High in Southern California's Santa Clarita Valley. They're engaged in a role-playing game, as directed in a lesson plan sponsored and bankrolled by the Motion Picture Association of America. The curriculum - called "What's the Diff?: A Guide to Digital Citizenship" - has reached slightly more than half a million junior high students since it began this school year. The class is led by Jean Sutton, a volunteer from Junior Achievement, a nonprofit business education group. She hands each student a card that explains what role they are to play - actor, director, producer, singer, computer user, or set builder - and what their viewpoint is supposed to be. "It's good you have your own opinions," Sutton tells them. "But I want you to do the activity based on what the little piece of paper says." Five of the pieces assert that file-sharing is unequivocally immoral. "Illegal file-swapping has turned my dreams into nightmares," reads the singer's card. "When people illegally download, they are stealing from my family and me," reads the set builder's. The single counterpoint is represented by the computer user. He defends file-sharing largely on the grounds that he won't get caught: "Last time I checked, the Internet police didn't exist." The activity seems less a role-playing exercise than a regurgitation. Sutton asks each student "why file-swapping's such a big deal." The kids gamely paraphrase from their squares of paper. "The directors don't get paid when the people download movies," says a director. "If only, like, one person is buying the movie and everyone else is copying it, the people in the movies can't, like, make the set things," says a set builder. "It's costing me, like, big bucks because people, like, download them instead of buying them," says a producer. The children, most from the middle-class suburb of Santa Clarita, participate enthusiastically and don't appear troubled, or even bored, by the rote nature of the exercise. "What's the Diff?" got its start when the MPAA, the trade group representing Hollywood studios, approached Junior Achievement with $100,000 and a notion to get its ideas about the ethics of file-sharing into the classroom. It was written by JA staffers and consultants in close communication with Craig Hoffman, the director of corporate communications at Warner Bros. Entertainment. The point of the program, says MPAA spokesperson Rich Taylor, is for "students to reach their own conclusions about being a good digital citizen." The real point, of course, is to protect Hollywood from the fate of the record industry. While the music business has already suffered from file-sharing, the film industry has so far been largely unaffected. In fact, according to an Adams Media Research report, Hollywood has seen revenue rise 27 percent in the same four-year period that the recording industry went into free fall. So consider this a preemptive attack, a giant guilt trip on the file-sharing public. Compared to the recording industry's strategy to sue everyone in sight, "What's the Diff?" seems downright enlightened. Critics aren't mollified. The program presents a "tremendously one-sided view of copyright," says Wendy Seltzer, a lawyer for the Electronic Frontier Foundation. "There's no balance; it's entirely corporate driven. If anything, it's an exercise in how efficiently you can brainwash students." Seltzer might be considerably less concerned had she sat in on a recent lesson at Commerce Middle School in a working-class neighborhood of Yonkers, New York. As in Santa Clarita, the kids here read their stock responses, but unlike their Californian counterparts, they do it in a sullen monotone, as if reciting some musty poem. Only the computer user, an animated wiseass in baggy jeans, delivers a passionate response. "It's not hurting anybody. I'm not selling it. I'm using it in my home." The other kids nod energetically at this, and hands shoot up throughout the room. One boy says, "If the computer user is just downloading music, how are the carpenters who work on movie sets being hurt?" The other students regard this as irrefutable logic, and a chorus of "mm-hmm" and "that's right" fills the room. A confident, articulate girl in cornrows and too-tight jeans speaks up. "Look, you preview what's on the CD, and if you like it, you go out and buy the CD because you get a booklet and, like, extra stuff with it." This, whether she knows it or not, is exactly the argument that the major music labels are hearing from many of their own consultants. As the class winds down, several kids say that downloading files from Kazaa is no different than borrowing a library book. "After you get it, you're just going to delete it anyway," a boy says. JA volunteer Evan Snyder, who's good with the kids, gets a crafty look on his face. "How is that different from me just borrowing a Ferrari from the dealership and just passing it around to my friends?" The girl in the cornrows snaps back, "Well, that's fine! You're borrowing it! As long as you give it back." The bell rings, and the students bustle into the well-worn hallways of their middle school. Contributing editor Jeff Howe (jeffhowe@wiredmag.com) wrote about social networks in Wired 11.11. credit Illustration by l-dopa

DIGITAL DOMAIN; Why Bill Gates Wants 3,000 New Patents

All software published in the United States is protected by strong copyright and trademark protection. Microsoft Excel, for example, cannot be copied, nor can its association with Microsoft be removed. But a patent goes well beyond this. It protects even the underlying concepts from being used by others -- for 20 years. As recently as the 1970's, software developers relied solely upon copyrights and trademarks to protect their work. This turned out rather well for Microsoft. Had Dan Bricklin, the creator of VisiCalc, the spreadsheet that gave people a reason to buy a personal computer, obtained a patent covering the program in 1979, Microsoft would not have been able to bring out Excel until 1999. Nor would Word or PowerPoint have appeared if the companies that had brought out predecessors obtained patent protection for their programs. Mr. Bricklin, who has started several software companies and defensively acquired a few software patents along the way, says he, too, would cheer the abolition of software patents, which he sees as the bane of small software companies. "The number of patents you can run into with a small product is immense," he said. As for Microsoft's aggressive accumulation in recent years, he asked, "Isn't Microsoft the poster child of success without software patents?" So why didn't Mr. Bricklin file for a patent for VisiCalc in 1979? Patents for software alone were not an option then. He consulted a patent attorney who said that the application would have to present the software within a machine and that the odds were long that the ploy would succeed. The courts regarded software as merely a collection of mathematical algorithms, tiny revelations of nature's secrets -- not as an invention, and thus not patentable. The legal environment changed not because of new legislation, but by accident. One important ruling here and another there, and without anyone fully realizing it, a new intellectual-property reality had evolved by the end of the 1980's. Now software could enjoy the extraordinary protection of a patent, protection so powerful that Thomas Jefferson believed that it should be granted in only a few select cases. Making the best possible argument for Microsoft's newly acquired passion for patents is a job that falls to Brad Smith, the company's senior vice president and general counsel. Last week, we discussed the changing legal landscape in the 1990's. Microsoft had not taken an interest in patents in its early years because, as Mr. Smith said, "We thought we could rely on copyright." The courts changed the rules, and Microsoft had to respond like everyone else. Why did Microsoft increase its patent-application target so sharply just last year? "We realized we were underpatenting," Mr. Smith explained. The company had seen studies showing that other information technology companies filed about two patents for every $1 million spent on research and development. If Microsoft was spending $6 billion to $7.5 billion annually on its R&D, it would need to file at least 3,000 applications to keep up with the Joneses.

Vegas heading for 'dry future'

By Carmen Roberts BBC News The oasis that is Las Vegas could soon run dry, environmentalists fear It appears a green oasis of refrigerated plenty, set in a blazing desert. But environmentalists warn water supplies could run dry within the next 50 years; while urban sprawl is out of control and development is encroaching on protected areas. No matter how you arrive in Las Vegas, by car or plane, you are immediately struck by the stark contrast of a lush city against a barren desert that stretches in all directions. Yet, this is a region in the grip of one of the worst droughts on record. Water myths Las Vegas consumes around 870 litres (190 gallons) of water per person per day, according to the Western Resource Advocates group. And each day countless tourists wander up and down the Strip, in awe of dancing fountains, sinking pirate ships, tropical landscaping, pools and many more water features. But this is one of "Sin City's" greatest myths. Local hotels account for just 7% of the area's total water usage, according to the Southern Nevada Water Authority. It seems there are too few of us that are willing to stand up and say we need to protect our environment Jeff van Ee, Southern Nevada Planning Authority "The hotel casinos use only 30% of their water allocation on outdoor use, while 70% is used indoors in rooms and kitchens and that water is reclaimed and used again," says Cruz. "Even though the Bellagio has the largest water feature on the Strip, it benefits from ground water. We are consuming less water than when it was functioning as a golf course when it was the old Dunes (hotel)." But when you look at the residential statistics, the figures are reversed. Water authorities estimate around 70% of residential water is used outdoors, washing the car and irrigating the lawns, and only 30% is used indoors. Although Nevada has been banking excess water from the Colorado River in Arizona, environmentalists fear this is a short-term solution. In Las Vegas you are struck by the stark contrast of lush city against barren desert The SNWA hopes a $5 billion 555km pipeline from central Nevada could be the answer to the future water needs of Las Vegas. But farmers and residents in rural parts of the state are unwilling to share the precious resource and it is becoming a battle known as "craps versus crops". "A lot of people [in central Nevada] are seeing the impact this could have on their way of life and on the springs and natural habitat, and they're saying that as fabulous as Las Vegas may be - this plan to tap ground water is not the best alternative for rural Nevada," Mr van Ee explains. Explosive growth Rural farmers have now pressed the Bureau of Land Management to expend the public consultation period for the planned pipeline until the beginning of August. Nevada State senate majority leader Dina Titus says this a problem that is been compounded by explosive growth in the region. "Right now, 6,000 people a month are moving to this valley because the weather is good, the taxes are low and there are plenty of jobs," she said. In 2003, Senator Titus was responsible for a controversial bill that ensured the conservation of Red Rock Canyon, a national conservation area just on the outskirts of the city. And like many a fellow environmentalist, she is concerned that urban sprawl is now encroaching on surrounding conservation areas like Lake Mead, Spring Mountain and Red Rock Canyon. "If you can't build enough schools - and it takes one school a month to keep up with the growth - then you lose quality of life. We need to get a handle on the growth and start planning for the future," Senator Titus told the BBC. Mr Van Ee laments that the town he arrived in some 20 years ago is now the fastest growing urban area in the country. "It seems there are too few of us that are willing to stand up and say we need to protect our environment."

E-Ticket: The Art of Being Ichiro

The Art of Being Ichiro By Jim Caple ESPN.com Senior Writer SEATTLE -- We want to think of Ichiro as an enigma. When his face is hidden behind the smoked windows of his Infiniti G35 coupe or when his eyes are masked behind his $495 Oakley Thump sunglasses with the MP3 player inserted in the earpieces, we want to think of Ichiro as impenetrable (inscrutable, isn't that the old buzzword?). When we hear how a Japanese craftsman sews his gloves by hand or how he stores his bats in a hard-cover case with a chemical rod to control the humidity, we want to think of Ichiro as a mystic from the Far East. When he drops a quote on us as rarely as he does a flyball and when he answers questions through a translator with his back turned to reporters, we want to think of Ichiro as a Zen-like philosopher sparingly dispensing wisdom. We want to think of him as we do "Area 51," the nickname for the grassy lawn he patrols in right field -- mysterious and alien. But roll down those smoked windows and remove those sunglasses for a different perspective. Then we see an Ichiro who speaks English (and Spanish) but reveals little in any language because he dislikes reporters and enjoys his privacy, someone who listens to hip-hop and rap, wears a goatee and dresses as if he's on MTV, reads comic books, likes "Star Wars" and loves playing with his dog. And, of course, someone who hits the hell out of a baseball. Even Phil Jackson would tell you that's not Zen. That's American. [+]

Why I will never have a girlfriend

Why I will never have a girlfriend Tristan Miller German Research Center for Artificial Intelligence 20 December 1999 Why don't I have a girlfriend? This is a question that practically every male has asked himself at one point or another in his life. Unfortunately, there is rarely a hard and fast answer to the query. Many men try to reason their way through the dilemma nonetheless, often reaching a series of ridiculous explanations, each more self-deprecating than the last: "Is it because I'm too shy, and not aggressive enough? Is it my opening lines? Am I a boring person? Am I too fat or too thin? Or am I simply ugly and completely unattractive to women?" When all other plausible explanations have been discounted, most fall back on the time-honoured conclusion that "there must be Something Wrong™ with me" before resigning themselves to lives of perpetual chastity. Not the author, though. I, for one, refuse to spend my life brooding over my lack of luck with women. While I'll be the first to admit that my chances of ever entering into a meaningful relationship with someone special are practically non-existent, I staunchly refuse to admit that it has anything to do with some inherent problem with me. Instead, I am convinced that the situation can be readily explained in purely scientific terms, using nothing more than demographics and some elementary statistical calculus. Lest anyone suspect that my standards for women are too high, let me allay those fears by enumerating in advance my three criteria for the match. First, the potential girlfriend must be approximately my age—let's say 21 plus or minus three or four years. Second, the girl must be beautiful (and I use that term all-encompassingly to refer to both inner and outer beauty). Third, she must also be reasonably intelligent—she doesn't have to be Mensa material, but the ability to carry on a witty, insightful argument would be nice. So there they are—three simple demands, which I'm sure everyone will agree are anything but unreasonable. That said, I now present my demonstration of why the probability of finding a suitable candidate fulfilling the three above-noted requirements is so small as to be practically impossible—in other words, why I will never have a girlfriend. I shall endeavour to make this proof as rigorous as the available data permits. And I should note, too, that there will be no statistical trickery involved here; I have cited all my sources and provided all relevant calculations in case anyone wishes to conduct their own independent review. Let's now take a look at the figures. Number of people on Earth (in 1998): 5 592 830 000 We start with the largest demographic in which I am interested—namely, the population of this planet. That is not to say I'm against the idea of interstellar romance, of course; I just don't assess the prospect of finding myself a nice Altairian girl as statistically significant. Now anyway, the latest halfway-reliable figures we have for Earth's population come from the United States Census Bureau's 1999 World Population Profile (WP/98). Due presumably to the time involved in compiling and processing census statistics, said report's data is valid only as of 1998, so later on we'll be making some impromptu adjustments to bring the numbers up to date. …who are female: 2 941 118 000 I'd've thought that, given the title of this essay, this criterion goes without saying. In case anyone missed it, though, I am looking for exclusively female companionship. Accordingly, roughly half of the Earth's population must be discounted. Sorry, guys. …in "developed" countries: 605 601 000 We now further restrict the geographical area of interest to so-called "first-world countries". My reasons for doing so are not motivated out of contempt for those who are economically disadvantaged, but rather by simple probability. My chances of meeting a babe from Bhutan or a goddess from Ghana, either in person or on the Internet, are understandably low. In fact, I will most likely spend nearly my entire life living and working in North America, Europe, and Australia, so it is to these types of regions that the numbers have been narrowed. …currently (in 2000) aged 18 to 25: 65 399 083, Being neither a pedophile nor a geriatrophile, I would like to restrict my search for love to those whose age is approximately equal to my own. This is where things get a bit tricky, for two reasons: first, the census data is nearly two years old, and second, the "population by age" tables in WP/98 are not separated into individual ages but are instead quantized into "15–19" (of whom there are 39 560 000) and "20–44" (population 215 073 000). Women aged 15 to 19 in 1998 will be aged 17 to 21 in 2000; in this group, I'm interested in dating those 18 or older, so, assuming the "15–19" girls' ages are uniformly distributed, we have \[39\,560\,000 \times \frac{\left| 21 - 18 \right| + 1}{\left| 19 - 15 \right| + 1} = 31\,648\,000.\] Similarly, of 1998's "20–44" category, there are now \[215\,073\,000 \times \frac{\left| 25 - 22 \right| + 1}{\left| 44 - 20 \right| + 1} = 34\,411\,680\] females within my chosen age limit. The sum, 66 059 680, represents the total number of females aged 18 to 25 in developed countries in 2000. Unfortunately, roughly 1% of these girls will have died since the census was taken; thus, the true number of so-far eligible bachelorettes is 65 399 083. …who are beautiful: 1 487 838 Personal attraction, both physically and personality-wise, is an important instigator of any relationship. Of course, beauty is a purely subjective trait whose interpretation may vary from person to person. Luckily it is not necessary for me to define beauty in this essay except to state that for any given beholder, it will probably be normally distributed amongst the population. Without going into the specifics of precisely which traits I admire, I will say that for a girl to be considered really beautiful to me, she should fall at least two standard deviations above the norm. From basic statistics theory, the area to the left of the normal curve at z = 2 is \[\frac{1}{2} - \frac{1}{\sqrt{2 \pi}} \cdot \int_{0}^{2} e^{-\frac{1}{2}z^2} dz~\approx~0.022\,75\] and so it is this number with which we multiply our current population pool. …and intelligent: 236 053 Again, intelligence can mean different things to different people, yet I am once more relieved of making any explanation by noting that it, like most other characteristics, has a notionally normal distribution across the population. Let's assume that I will settle for someone a mere one standard deviation above the normal; in that case, a further \[\frac{1}{2} + \frac{1}{\sqrt{2 \pi}} \cdot \int_{0}^{1} e^{-\frac{1}{2}z^2} dz~\approx~84.1345\%\] of the population must be discounted. …and not already committed: 118 027 I could find no hard statistics on the number of above-noted girls who are already married, engaged, or otherwise committed to a significant other, but informal observation and anecdotal evidence leads me to believe that the proportion is somewhere around 50%. (Fellow unattached males will no doubt have also noticed a preponderance of girls legitimately offering, "Sorry, I already have a boyfriend" as an excuse not to go on a date.) For reasons of morality (and perhaps too self-preservation), I'm not about to start hitting on girls who have husbands and boyfriends. Accordingly, that portion of the female population must also be considered off-limits. …and also might like me: 18 726 Naturally, finding a suitable girl who I really like is no guarantee that she'll like me back. Assuming, as previously mentioned, that personal attractiveness is normally distributed, there is a mere 50% chance that any given female will consider me even marginally attractive. In practice, however, people are unlikely to consider pursuing a relationship with someone whose looks and personality just barely suffice. Let's make the rather conservative assumption, then, that a girl would go out with someone if and only if they were at least one standard deviation above her idea of average. In that case, referring to our previous calculation, only 15.8655% of females would consider someone with my physical characteristics and personality acceptable as a potential romantic partner. Conclusion It is here, at a pool of 18 726 acceptable females, that we end our statistical analysis. At first glance, a datable population of 18 726 may not seem like such a low number, but consider this: assuming I were to go on a blind date with a new girl about my age every week, I would have to date for 3493 weeks before I found one of the 18 726. That's very nearly 67 years. As a North American male born in the late 1970s, my life expectancy is probably little more than 70 years, so we can safely say that I will be quite dead before I find the proverbial girl of my dreams. Come to think of it, she'll probably be dead too. So there you have it, my friends—finally, a cogent, scientific, non-self-deprecating argument for why I will never have a girlfriend. That said, if you happen to be a girl deluded enough to think that you and I have a chance together, feel free to drop me a line, but I warn you, you face odds of 157 060 to 1. I wouldn't bother if I were you. Update (2000-04-01): My sarcastic pleas for some e-mail have finally been answered. Take a look at this letter from a hysterical female reader, which I think perfectly demonstrates the point of this entire essay. (I think the fact that she's a WebTV user explains a lot—in fact, I was sure this e-mail was an April Fool's joke until I noticed the return address.) Endnotes and references Appendices Translations of this article You are free to produce translations of this article as long as you credit me as the original author, and link back to the English original if possible. Please send me a link to your translation and I will add it to this list. Citations and press coverage

For NASA, Misjudgments Led to Latest Shuttle Woes

The space shuttle's external tank is used for just eight minutes, then ditched over the Indian Ocean. It holds more than half a million gallons of liquid hydrogen and liquid oxygen, the highly volatile gases the craft's main engines burn on the leap into orbit. The tank is covered with plastic foam; without that, it would ice over with moisture sucked from the Florida air. At the dawn of the shuttle program, NASA rules said no foam at all should be allowed to hit the shuttle and possibly damage the fragile heat-resistant tiles that cover its aluminum skin. But fidelity to those standards was relaxed over time; in fact, foam fell from a PAL ramp in two early missions, including the one in June 1983 on which Sally Ride became the first American woman in space. There may have been many more incidents, but dozens of shuttle missions have been launched in darkness, with no visual record of foam, and the tanks themselves cannot be retrieved from the ocean for analysis. As the early tank was replaced with two lighter successors, the PAL ramps remained -- one a 19-foot baffle along a channel for cables and pressurized lines along the forward end of the tank and the other the 37-foot strip along the flank of the cylindrical midsection of the fuel tank. And as experience showed NASA that shuttles returned safely despite well over 100 nicks and gouges requiring repair on many flights, the concerns abated over time. Until Feb. 1, 2003, the day the Columbia disintegrated on its way home to Cape Canaveral. It turned out that on liftoff, 16 days earlier, a 1.67-pound piece of foam had fallen from the tank and struck the leading edge of the shuttle's left wing. Despite years of assurance that such a strike could do no serious damage -- a mind-set the Columbia Accident Investigation Board would call the "normalization of deviance" -- the foam had cracked open a hole that admitted superheated gases when the shuttle re-entered the atmosphere, burning it up like a torch from within. After the accident, NASA examined all possible sources of liftoff debris, eventually identifying more than 170. Engineers recognized that they could not eliminate all risk from debris, but they could do a much better job of reducing it. The PAL ramp became a focus of attention: like the bipod arm ramp, the part of the tank implicated in the Columbia disaster, it is covered with foam by hand. NASA conducted extensive wind tunnel tests to see whether the ramp could be removed.

Why You Only Need to Test with 5 Users

Summary: Elaborate usability tests are a waste of resources. The best results come from testing no more than 5 users and running as many small tests as you can afford. Some people think that usability is very costly and complex and that user tests should be reserved for the rare web design project with a huge budget and a lavish time schedule. Not true. Elaborate usability tests are a waste of resources. The best results come from testing no more than 5 users and running as many small tests as you can afford. In earlier research, Tom Landauer and I showed that the number of usability problems found in a usability test with n users is: N (1-(1- L ) n ) where N is the total number of usability problems in the design and L is the proportion of usability problems discovered while testing a single user. The typical value of L is 31%, averaged across a large number of projects we studied. Plotting the curve for L =31% gives the following result: The most striking truth of the curve is that zero users give zero insights. As soon as you collect data from a single test user, your insights shoot up and you have already learned almost a third of all there is to know about the usability of the design. The difference between zero and even a little bit of data is astounding. When you test the second user, you will discover that this person does some of the same things as the first user, so there is some overlap in what you learn. People are definitely different, so there will also be something new that the second user does that you did not observe with the first user. So the second user adds some amount of new insight, but not nearly as much as the first user did. The third user will do many things that you already observed with the first user or with the second user and even some things that you have already seen twice. Plus, of course, the third user will generate a small amount of new data, even if not as much as the first and the second user did. As you add more and more users, you learn less and less because you will keep seeing the same things again and again. There is no real need to keep observing the same thing multiple times, and you will be very motivated to go back to the drawing board and redesign the site to eliminate the usability problems. After the fifth user, you are wasting your time by observing the same findings repeatedly but not learning much new. Iterative Design The curve clearly shows that you need to test with at least 15 users to discover all the usability problems in the design. So why do I recommend testing with a much smaller number of users? The main reason is that it is better to distribute your budget for user testing across many small tests instead of blowing everything on a single, elaborate study. Let us say that you do have the funding to recruit 15 representative customers and have them test your design. Great. Spend this budget on 3 studies with 5 users each! You want to run multiple tests because the real goal of usability engineering is to improve the design and not just to document its weaknesses. After the first study with five participants has found 85% of the usability problems, you will want to fix these problems in a redesign. After creating the new design, you need to test again. Even though I said that the redesign should "fix" the problems found in the first study, the truth is that you think that the new design overcomes the problems. But since nobody can design the perfect user interface, there is no guarantee that the new design does in fact fix the problems. A second test will discover whether the fixes worked or whether they didn't. Also, in introducing a new design, there is always the risk of introducing a new usability problem, even if the old one did get fixed. Also, the second study with 5 users will discover most of the remaining 15% of the original usability problems that were not found in the first round of testing. (There will still be 2% of the original problems left — they will have to wait until the third study to be identified.) Finally, the second study will be able to probe deeper into the usability of the fundamental structure of the site, assessing issues like information architecture, task flow, and match with user needs. These important issues are often obscured in initial studies where the users are stumped by stupid surface-level usability problems that prevent them from really digging into the site. So the second study will both serve as quality assurance of the outcome of the first study and help provide deeper insights as well. The second study will always lead to a new (but smaller) list of usability problems to fix in a redesign. And the same insight applies to this redesign: not all the fixes will work; some deeper issues will be uncovered after cleaning up the interface. Thus, a third study is needed as well. The ultimate user experience is improved much more by 3 studies with 5 users each than by a single monster study with 15 users. Why Not Test With a Single User? You might think that 15 studies with a single user would be even better than 3 studies with 5 users. The curve does show that we learn much more from the first user than from any subsequent users, so why keep going? Two reasons: There is always a risk of being misled by the spurious behavior of a single person who may perform certain actions by accident or in an unrepresentative manner. Even 3 users are enough to get an idea of the diversity in user behavior and insight into what's unique and what can be generalized. The cost-benefit analysis of user testing provides the optimal ratio around 3 or 5 users, depending on the style of testing. There is always a fixed initial cost associated with planning and running a study: it is better to depreciate this start-up cost across the findings from multiple users. When To Test More Users You need to test additional users when a website has several highly distinct groups of users. The formula only holds for comparable users who will be using the site in fairly similar ways. If, for example, you have a site that will be used by both children and parents, then the two groups of users will have sufficiently different behavior that it becomes necessary to test with people from both groups. The same would be true for a system aimed at connecting purchasing agents with sales staff. Even when the groups of users are very different, there will still be great similarities between the observations from the two groups. All the users are human, after all. Also, many of the usability problems are related to the fundamental way people interact with the Web and the influence from other sites on user behavior. In testing multiple groups of disparate users, you don't need to include as many members of each group as you would in a single test of a single group of users. The overlap between observations will ensure a better outcome from testing a smaller number of people in each group. I recommend: 3–4 users from each category if testing two groups of users 3 users from each category if testing three or more groups of users (you always want at least 3 users to ensure that you have covered the diversity of behavior within the group) Reference Nielsen, Jakob, and Landauer, Thomas K.: "A mathematical model of the finding of usability problems," Proceedings of ACM INTERCHI'93 Conference (Amsterdam, The Netherlands, 24-29 April 1993), pp. 206-213. Follow-Up Articles

Slashdot & CSS

If you visit Slashcode.com you will notice that it is now running a brand spanking new CSS template designed by OSTGs Wes Moran and implemented by Tim Vroom and the rest of Slashteam. As some of you are aware, Slashcode.com is a testbed for Slashdot's code development. It gets features a few days before Slashdot so we can test the code on a live site. Of course the site is virtually unused, but that's not really the point for us. It's more about making sure the stuff actually Which is where you come in. If you know a thing or two about CSS and web design, I'd appreciate a look at the site. You can email me if you have specific feedback, comments, criticism. I'd especially like it if people logged in and played with that. You'll notice that a lot of form elements look different. Some intentionally. Some because we haven't actually got around to creating CSS stylesheet entries for the dozens of custom things out there. Also, the comment code itself is completely unchanged. The display of forums will remain pretty much icky old HTML until we either (A) Rewrite the engine (which is planned, but a big project or (B) Someone submits a patch that does it for us. So if you want your chance to get your name in lights on Slashdot, this is a project worth considering. There's a mailing list and a CVS server. What are you waiting for? The Slashdot CSS theme itself is well underway- the core HTML you see on www.slashcode.com is almost exactly what will be on Slashdot itself, we just need to finish a few parts, fix a few bugs, and work finish the Slashdot Stylesheet. We're looking to have that done in the next few weeks, although actually deploying it on Slashdot itself is a pretty huge project. I want to do it in august since it's usually really quiet, and we have a lot of data that needs to be converted in addition to the actualy site templates. Pudge has been working a lot on that problem. Specifically we've got scripts to fix HTML in all editor & user contributed content spaces. A lot of this is under way already. Old comments are being automatically fixed in the background. HTML in articles from 1998 is being corrected. Scripts are working very hard. And in some cases, tired editors have been re-reading stories from 1998 to correct HTML errors that boggle the mind. None of this is perfect, so don't be to surprised if you find something wonky. Feel free to mail me URLs if you see it. We've got almost 60,000 articles, 900,000 users, and like 13 million comments. There will be mistakes. Lastly, once Slashdot has successfully been ported to CSS, we'll have a lot more design flexibility. I expect that soon after we'll actually be ready to give the tired old design a facelift. If anyone has ideas, you can start playing with designs today by simply modifying www.slashcode.com's CSS stylesheet. my guess is we'll have a contest similiar to the T-Shirt contest we ran awhile back- users can contribute designs and I'll select from the best a new look for Slashdot. I'm really looking forward to that. I'll miss having Slashdot be "My" design, but the site still looks like 1997 and it's time for new life to go with fancy new web technology. Also, my rogue hit 60 in WoW a few days ago. I also made my Volcanic armor set and have a few nifty other items w/ high fire resist. Now to get attuned and visit that toasty place known as Molten Core! And somehow save another 400gp for my epic mount. There's just no end to this game.

EPIC 2014

You're about to watch a future history of the media by Robin Sloan and Matt Thompson, with music by Aaron McLeran. Click here to see EPIC 2014!

Bible Course Becomes a Test for Public Schools in Texas

"The central approach of the class is simply to study the Bible as a foundation document of society, and that approach is altogether appropriate in a comprehensive program of secular education," it says. Elizabeth Ridenour, a commercial real estate broker who said she formed the nonprofit organization in 1993 after deciding that she had long been "duped" into believing the Bible could not be taught in public schools, said the course has stayed within legal limits. "Our teachers are not to say, 'This is the truth,' or that the Bible is infallible," she said. "They are to say, 'This is what the Bible says; draw your own conclusions."' But in Odessa, where the school board has not decided on a curriculum, a parent said he found the course's syllabus unacceptably sectarian. He has been waging his own campaign for additional information on where it is being taught. "Someone is being disingenuous; I'd like to know who," said the parent, David Newman, an associate professor of English at Odessa College who has made a page-by-page analysis of the 270-page syllabus and sent e-mail messages to nearly all 1,034 school districts in Texas. The Texas Freedom Network, which commissioned its study after the vote in Odessa, is sharp in its criticism. "As many as 52 Texas public school districts and 1,000 high schools across the country are using an aggressively marketed, blatantly sectarian Bible curriculum that interferes with the freedom of all families to pass on their own religious values to their children," it said. In one teaching unit, students are told, "Throughout most of the last 2,000 years, the majority of men living in the Western world have accepted the statements of the Scriptures as genuine." The words are taken from the Web site of Grant R. Jeffrey Ministries' Prophecy on Line. The national council's efforts are endorsed by the Center for Reclaiming America, Phyllis Schlafly's group the Eagle Forum, Concerned Women for America and the Family Research Council, among others.

DNA Machine May Advance Genetic Sequencing for Patients

The Joint Genome Institute, a federal genome sequencing center in Walnut Creek, Calif., has ordered one of 454's $500,000 sequencing machines but has not yet installed it. Paul Richardson, the institute's head of technology development, said the new approach "looks very, very promising" and could reduce sequencing costs fourfold. The machine's limitation is that at present it can only read DNA fragments 100 units or so in length, compared with the 800-unit read length now attained by the Sanger-based machines. The shorter read length makes it harder to reassemble all the fragments into a complete genome, Dr. Richardson said, so although microbial genomes can be assembled with the new method, mammalian genomes may be beyond its reach at present. Dr. Fraser, director of the Institute for Genomic Research in Rockville, Md., also said that the new machine's short read lengths "limit its overall utility at this point." Jonathan Rothberg, board chairman of 454 Life Sciences, said the company was already able to decode DNA 400 units at a time in test machines. It was working toward sequencing a human genome for $100,000, and if costs could be further reduced to $20,000 the sequencing of individual genomes would be medically worthwhile, Dr. Rothberg said. There would be little advantage at present in sequencing a patient's entire genome, but in the medicine of the future, complete documentation about an individual's genetic makeup could well provide prognosis or indicate a preferred treatment. The new technology avoids a pitfall of the Sanger method, which is that the fragments of DNA to be analyzed are first amplified by being cloned in bacteria. But the bacteria cannot handle certain fragments, leaving gaps in the genome sequence. In the new technique, each fragment of DNA is captured in an individual drop of liquid and amplified to 10 million copies with a well-established chemical method known as the polymerase chain reaction. The 10 million copies from each droplet are then attached to an ultra-small bead, and the beads are dropped into a credit-card-sized grid of 1.6 million wells, where the pyrosequencing takes place. Each time the correct base is added to the fragments of DNA on a specific bead, a flash of 10,000 photons is picked up through the bottom of the wells by the light-detecting chip that sits under the small grid of wells. A computer can reconstruct the sequence of bases composing the fragments stuck to each bead, and from the overlaps between fragments can reassemble the entire genome from which they were derived.

New File-Sharing TechniquesAre Likely to Test Court Decision

SAN FRANCISCO, July 31 - Briefly buoyed by their Supreme Court victory on file sharing, Hollywood and the recording industry are on the verge of confronting more technically sophisticated opponents. At a computer security conference in Las Vegas on Thursday, an Irish software designer described a new version of a peer-to-peer file-sharing system that he says will make it easier to share digital information anonymously and make detection by corporations and governments far more difficult. Others have described similar efforts to build a so-called darknet that aims to shield the identities of those sharing information. The issue is complicated by the fact that the small group of technologists designing the new systems say their goal is to create tools to circumvent censorship and political repression -- not to abet copyright violation. Such a stand is certain to test the impact of the Supreme Court ruling in June against Grokster and StreamCast Networks, publishers of peer-to-peer file-sharing software, a number of legal specialists and industry executives said. The court ruled unanimously that the publishers could be held liable for the copyright infringement that their software enabled in the sharing of pirated movies and music.

Bush Appoints Bolton as U.N. Envoy, Bypassing Senate

Senator Harry Reid of Nevada, the Democratic leader, characterized Mr. Bush's move as "the latest abuse of power by the Bush White House," while another Democrat, Senator Frank Lautenberg of New Jersey, said in a statement that "even while the president preaches democracy around the world, he bends the rules and circumvents the will of Congress" at home. Democrats were also angry about the refusal of the White House to turn over documents related to Mr. Bolton's service at the State Department as well as his caustic comments about the United Nations. In the 1990's, Mr. Bolton said that several floors of the United Nations headquarters could be lopped off without being missed. In his remarks, Mr. Bush blamed the hold-up on "partisan delaying tactics by a handful of senators," but Democrats countered that the handful numbered at least 42, including one Republican. "And it was growing," said Senator Christopher J. Dodd, Democrat of Connecticut, who led the Senate opposition to Mr. Bolton. "It may have been more people if we had ever gotten a vote." Senator George V. Voinovich, the Ohio Republican whose opposition to Mr. Bolton was the catalyst for the Senate's refusal to confirm him, told reporters that he intended to send Mr. Bolton a copy of a Christian book that has served him well since his days as mayor of Cleveland in the 1980's: "The Heart and Soul of Effective Management" by James F. Hind. "It's basically a Christian approach to managing and motivating people," Mr. Voinovich said, "that I thought he might read and perhaps ponder and take into consideration in terms of how he treats people up at the United Nations." Still, Democratic aides on Capitol Hill acknowledged that there was little their party could do beyond criticizing Mr. Bolton's appointment, which senators did in statements of outrage that were sent via e-mail to reporters even as Mr. Bush was still speaking in the Roosevelt Room. By 10:04 a.m., three minutes after Mr. Bush began his remarks, Senator Edward M. Kennedy had sent out a statement that called the recess appointment "a devious maneuver" that "further darkens the cloud over Mr. Bolton's credibility at the U.N." Mr. Bolton's appointment came as Democrats on Capitol Hill were in a new fight with the White House over the records of Mr. Bush's Supreme Court nominee, Judge John G. Roberts, when he worked in the office of the solicitor general. But Democrats, wary that their anger over Mr. Bolton might be seen as retaliation against Judge Roberts, said that the two nominations were distinct and that they did not expect Mr. Bolton's troubles with the Senate to affect Judge Roberts' confirmation hearings in September.

Identity Theft Resource Center

In 2019, the Identity theft Resource Center (ITRC) saw a 17 percent increase in data breaches compared to 2018. Credential stuffing attacks exploded in 2019, as well as third-party contractors being breached. 2020 has been a different story. Access… *Last updated September 4, 2020 Right now is a very difficult time for a lot of individuals as concerns around the COVID-19 pandemic continue to be at the top of people’s minds. In addition to the inconvenience of social distancing and… Third-party sellers on Amazon are buying their own products so they can leave five-star reviews, then using victims’ names and addresses to disguise themselves as customers. Who Is It Targeting: Amazon customers What Is It:… Free credit reports are now available to access every week to help minimize the long-term economic impacts of COVID-19. The continuing crisis surrounding the virus has affected people’s lives in many ways. However, fear of the economic impact… Learn a little bit about what the Identity Theft Resource Center is and how we help individuals impacted by identity crime (identity theft, scams, fraud, etc.) The ITRC is a non-profit organization established to support victims of identity theft in resolving their cases, and to broaden public education and awareness in the understanding of identity theft, data breaches, cyber security, scams/fraud and privacy issues.

Earth from space: bloom in the Baltic

Credits: ESAA colourful summer marine phytoplankton bloom fills much of the Baltic Sea in this Envisat image. Phytoplankton are microscopic marine plants that drift on or near the surface of the sea, by far the most abundant type of life found in the ocean. Just like plants on land they employ green-pigmented chlorophyll for photosynthesis - the process of turning sunlight into chemical energy. While individually microscopic, phytoplankton chlorophyll collectively tints the surrounding ocean waters, providing a means of detecting these tiny organisms from space with dedicated 'ocean colour' sensors. As if dye had been placed in the water, the greenish colour highlights whirls of ocean currents. Floating freely in the water, phytoplankton are sensitive not just to available sunlight but also to local environmental variations such as nutrient levels, temperature, currents and winds. Favourable conditions lead to concentrated 'blooms' like the one we see here. Monitoring phytoplankton is important because they form the base of the marine food web – sometimes known as 'the grass of the sea'. On a local level, out-of-control blooms can devastate marine life, de-oxygenating whole stretches of water, while some species of phytoplankton and marine algae are toxic to both fish and humans. It is useful that fishermen, fish farmers and public health officials know about such events as soon as possible. Globally, phytoplankton are a major influence on the amount of carbon in the atmosphere, and hence need to be modelled into calculations of future climate change. Such blooms are common at this time of year in the Baltic Sea due to the combination of warm weather and waters rich in phosphorous nutrients. This phosphorous comes from the sea floor, having been released for surface layer phytoplankton to consume when autumn and winter storms mix the water mass – at the start of 2005 a severe storm caused mixing in a deep column of water. The bloom seen here stretches around 200 kilometres from Lithuania, Latvia and the Russian territory of Kalingrad to the Swedish coast, surrounding the Swedish islands of Gotland and Öland. Blooms in the Baltic Sea are routinely monitored by the Finnish Environmental Institute (SYKE). Envisat's Medium Resolution Imaging Spectrometer (MERIS) instrument is optimised for ocean colour detection, but also returns detailed multispectral information on land cover, clouds and atmospheric aerosols. MERIS acquires continuous daytime observations in Reduced Resolution mode as part of its background mission. This is a detail from a MERIS Reduced Resolution image acquired on 13 July 2005, with a spatial resolution of 1200 metres. Source : European Space Agency

Taxpayers for Common Sense

Report Cutting Our Losses after 40 Years of Money-Losing Timber Sales in the Tongass A new report documenting 40 years of money-losing timber sales in the Tongass National Forest

Penn researchers discover key to how SARS virus infects cells

Researchers from the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine have found that inhibitors of an enzyme called cathepsin L prevent the SARS (severe acute respiratory syndrome) virus from entering target cells. SARS is caused by an emergent coronavirus. There is no effective treatment at this time. This study also demonstrates a new mechanism for how viral proteins are activated within host cells, states senior author Paul Bates, PhD, an Associate Professor in the Department of Microbiology. Bates and first author Graham Simmons, PhD, Research Associate, also in the Department of Microbiology, published their findings in the early August issue of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. To gain entry, a virus binds to receptors on the surface of the host cell, and is taken up into a vesicle, or sphere, inside the cell. Unlike most known viruses, the SARS coronavirus (like the Ebola virus) needs one more step to infect the cell. The proteins within the membrane of both SARS and Ebola need to be cut by special cellular enzymes (cathepsins) in order to replicate within the host cell. Cathepsins act in the low pH (acidic) environment inside the vesicle, facilitating fusion of the viral membrane and the vesicle membrane, so that viral proteins and nucleic acids can enter the cell where viral replication occurs. "This paper changes the thinking of the field," says Bates. "Up to this point, everyone thought all of the activation steps were at the cell surface or due to the low pH environment in the vesicle. Our paper shows that it's not just low pH, but the cathepsin proteases in the vesicles that clip the viral protein. This gives us a new target to address in the development of therapeutics against the SARS virus." The researchers found that several chemical inhibitors of cathepsin activity blocked infection of human cell lines by the SARS virus, which were grown in a high-level safety laboratory. In general, these findings, say the researchers, have led to a better understanding that the cutting of viral protein by cathepsins is necessary for infectivity and is likely not unique because both the SARS and Ebola viruses are now known to use a similar mechanism to invade their host cells. (In June 2005, a group from Harvard School of Medicine discovered that the Ebola viral membrane protein is similarly activated by cathepsin L and B.) If these proteases are important for other viruses, they represent a new way to stop viral infection. SARS and Ebola are the first examples of the need for these proteins to be cleaved during infection of the host cell. This work is a joint collaboration between the Bates lab and the research group led by Scott L. Diamond, PhD, Director of the Penn Center for Molecular Discovery, one of nine facilities that the National Institutes of Health (NIH) is establishing as part of the Molecular Library Screening Center Network. Diamond is also Professor of Chemical and Biomolecular Engineering within the Institute for Medicine and Engineering at Penn. While independently screening for inhibitors, Diamond's lab found a cathepsin L inhibitor called MDL28170, which Bates and Simmons tested for efficacy in inhibiting SARS coronavirus infection. The cellular cathepsin enzymes have many other roles within the body, including mediating the inflammatory immune response in the lungs and antigen processing in T cells. The Bates research group, in collaboration with the Diamond group, has identified a few compounds, including MDL28170, which they plan to test in animals for SARS inhibition. "We're now searching for other viruses that also use this cleaving mechanism for activating their proteins," says Bates. "If there are a number of other viruses that do that, and we have some preliminary evidence to suggest this, then we can develop small molecule inhibitors as possible therapeutics." One advantage of this approach is that oral medications made from small-molecule inhibitors are more readily made and distributed in the developing world-as opposed to a vaccine, suggests Bates. Protease inhibitors active against cathepsins have been tested in mice with no ill side effects, which bodes well for their eventual testing in humans. Source : University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine

Ecstasy eases Parkinson's in mice : Nature News

Published online 2 August 2005 | Nature | doi:10.1038/news050801-3 News Club drug relieves symptoms and boosts other treatments. Ecstasy appears to relieve symptoms in mice in a different way from known treatments. © Alamy The drug ecstasy relieves the symptoms of Parkinson's disease in mice, a team of researchers has found. The scientists did not look at the drug's effects in people, and do not advocate self-medication. "We don't want to give the idea that every Parkinson's patient should be standing on the street corner trying to buy amphetamines," says team leader Marc Caron, a cell biologist at Duke University in Durham, North Carolina. Nevertheless, the team is hopeful that their findings may point to new treatments for Parkinson's, a debilitating disorder in which patients lose the ability to control their actions. “We don't want to give the idea that every Parkinson's patient should be standing on the street corner trying to buy amphetamines.” Marc Caron Duke University Caron's team looked at genetically altered mice that lack the brain chemical dopamine. As in humans with low dopamine levels, these mice exhibit Parkinson's-like symptoms, such as tremors and stiff limbs. The team then dosed the mice with chemicals, looking for drugs that might alleviate their symptoms. What worked best, they found, was methylenedioxymehtamphetamine (MDMA), a drug better known as ecstasy. But MDMA did not raise dopamine levels, hinting that it restores movement through an unknown mechanism outside of the dopamine system. Better together The team also found that a combination of MDMA and the current Parkinson's drug L-DOPA, a chemical building block of dopamine was more effective than either drug alone. "This suggests that maybe low concentrations of these amphetamines, or compounds related to them, could be potentially used as add-ons to L-DOPA," says Caron. The study is reported in PloS Biology1. Caron aims to search for drugs that act similarly to MDMA. He does not advise giving MDMA to Parkinson's patients, but hopes to find other chemicals that mimic its effects. ADVERTISEMENT The new results are ironic, given that three years ago a study suggested that ecstasy might cause Parkinson's-like symptoms in monkeys2. But the researchers who published that study retracted it after they realized they had mixed up ecstacy with methamphetamine, commonly known as speed3. If you have a subscription to news@nature.com, you can read about the clinical applications of psychedelic drugs in our feature 'The ups and downs of ecstasy'. Duke University

Home test kits for bowel cancer

Bowel cancer kills around 14,000 each year The tests will identify those who may have the disease, the second largest cause of cancer death in the UK. By 2009, everyone aged 60-69 will be asked to self-test every two years. The government hopes the privacy and dignity of the home testing kits will overcome people's natural reluctance to talk about symptoms. Because of the nature of the disease, people can feel uncomfortable talking about it, let alone coping with the symptoms Health minister Rosie Winterton People taking part in the scheme will send stool samples to a laboratory, where they will be analysed for the presence of blood. The programme, promised in the 2000 NHS Plan and which will cost £37.5m in its first two years, is to be phased in from April 2006. Around 25% of England, or 300,000 people, will be covered in the first year of the programme. By 2009, the aim is for two million to receive the kits annually. Five centres, which will include testing laboratories, are to be set up around the UK to analyse the kits. Strategic Health Authorities are being invited to bid to provide a first wave of local screening centres. 'Positive step' Bowel cancer kills 50 people a day in the UK. Lung cancer is the only form of the disease which kills more people. Ministers believe a screening programme could cut the death rate by 15%. Launching the programme, health minister Rosie Winterton said: "Although bowel cancer affects more than one in 20 people in their lifetime, of those who get the disease 90% survive if it is caught early. "Because of the nature of the disease, people can feel uncomfortable talking about it, let alone coping with the symptoms. "That is why the privacy and dignity that the home testing kits afford will help us better tackle the disease." Jerry McMahon, of Kingsbury in Middlesex, was called in for screening under a pilot scheme at Northwick Park Hospital. Mr Mahon, now 62, had no symptoms to suggest anything was wrong. But a colonoscopy found two polyps in his colon, one of which was found to be cancerous. He said: "The test was a life-saver. I've nothing but praise for the doctors at Northwick Park. I feel better now than I did at 25." 'I survived' Hilary Whittaker, chief executive of the national charity Beating Bowel Cancer, said: "We believe that the screening programme will be a positive step in reducing the number of deaths from this cancer." Neil Brookes, chief executive of Colon Cancer Concern, said: "At a stroke, the screening programme will raise the profile of the disease and encourage people to be much more active in seeking to prevent it." TV presenter Lynn Faulds-Wood, of Lynn's Bowel Cancer Campaign and chairman of the European Cancer Patient Coalition, said: "I survived advanced bowel cancer and I've been investigating how to help save lives from bowel cancer for years. Screening, in my opinion, is the best way." Professor Elwyn Elias, president of the British Society of Gastroenterology, welcomed the programme, but said the NHS would have to be able to cope with the people flagged up as needing further checks. "If this is going to go national, which is obviously the aim, it will need a lot of investment and doctors will need a lot of training."

Background Animal Welfare Consumer Fraud Ethics Science New - Published Studies Expert Opinions Join AAVS Sign-up for E-mail Alerts Spread the Word 19 Dogs & cats have entered a shelter in the U.S. since this page was opened. AAVS Opposes Pet Cloning Reports Pet Cloning: Separating Fact From Fluff (2005) Download Report » Buyers Beware: Pet Cloning is Not for Pet Lovers (2008) Download Report » Pet Cloning: Separating Fact From Fluff (2005)Buyers Beware: Pet Cloning is Not for Pet Lovers (2008) Studies show that cloning remains an experimental technology with an extremely high failure rate. Behind each cute picture of a cuddly cloned cat or dog lie hundreds of animals who were kept in laboratory cages and subjected to painful and invasive procedures to produce just that one cloned animal. For all that, you end up with a cloned animal who is unlikely to resemble the original physically or behaviorally and may experience serious health problems. Meanwhile, millions of animals languish in shelters awaiting adoption every year. With our No Pet Cloning campaign, AAVS seeks to protect both animals and people from harm and exploitation. We vigorously campaigned until the only U.S. companies that sold cloned animals closed their doors. First it was Genetic Savings & Clone, Inc, and then it was BioArts International. Currently, cat and dog cloning experiments for commercial pet sales are only being conducted in South Korea. When BioArts closed, its owner, Lou Hawthorne, finally admitted to the problems with pet cloning that we have been warning about for years. According to Hawthorne, he has seen numerous abnormalities during his pet cloning attempts: "One clone � which was supposed to be black and white � was born greenish-yellow where it should have been white. Others have had skeletal malformations, generally not crippling though sometimes serious and always worrisome. One clone of a male donor was actually born female (we still have no good explanation for how that happened)." Hawthorne spent years trying to clone his family dog, Missy, as part of his venture. Yet, according to an article on the Veterinary Information Network, Inc., "Hawthorne's mother, who was the original owner of Missy, says the clones have very different temperaments from the original. For one thing, the original Missy was 'robust and completely calm.' But the clones are 'delicate and aggressive,' she said. In fact, she does not even own any of the clones. In the time it took to reproduce Missy, she got another 'real' dog, she said." Revived attempts to turn cloning into a commercial business are little more than money-making schemes designed to take advantage of pet lovers at the expense of animals. AAVS will continue to take the lead in protecting animals from the threats of pet cloning and educating the public about the truth behind pet cloning. We invite you to support our efforts and explore our website to learn more about the animal welfare problems, ethical concerns, deception, and lack of regulation associated with pet cloning. An overwhelming 80% of the public has stated its opposition to cloning companion animals such as cats and dogs, yet companies still try on occasion to make a business out of selling cloned pets and "banking" tissues from beloved pets for future cloning. Pet cloning has been promoted as a way to "bring back" or "copy" a beloved companion animal. However, attempts to clone pets represent little more than exaggerated claims and false promises.Studies show that cloning remains an experimental technology with an extremely high failure rate. Behind each cute picture of a cuddly cloned cat or dog lie hundreds of animals who were kept in laboratory cages and subjected to painful and invasive procedures to produce just that one cloned animal. For all that, you end up with a cloned animal who is unlikely to resemble the original physically or behaviorally and may experience serious health problems. Meanwhile, millions of animals languish in shelters awaiting adoption every year.With our No Pet Cloning campaign, AAVS seeks to protect both animals and people from harm and exploitation. We vigorously campaigned until the only U.S. companies that sold cloned animals closed their doors. First it was Genetic Savings & Clone, Inc, and then it was BioArts International. Currently, cat and dog cloning experiments for commercial pet sales are only being conducted in South Korea.When BioArts closed, its owner, Lou Hawthorne, finally admitted to the problems with pet cloning that we have been warning about for years. According to Hawthorne, he has seen numerous abnormalities during his pet cloning attempts:"One clone � which was supposed to be black and white � was born greenish-yellow where it should have been white. Others have had skeletal malformations, generally not crippling though sometimes serious and always worrisome. One clone of a male donor was actually born female (we still have no good explanation for how that happened)."Hawthorne spent years trying to clone his family dog, Missy, as part of his venture. Yet, according to an article on the Veterinary Information Network, Inc., "Hawthorne's mother, who was the original owner of Missy, says the clones have very different temperaments from the original. For one thing, the original Missy was 'robust and completely calm.' But the clones are 'delicate and aggressive,' she said. In fact, she does not even own any of the clones. In the time it took to reproduce Missy, she got another 'real' dog, she said."Revived attempts to turn cloning into a commercial business are little more than money-making schemes designed to take advantage of pet lovers at the expense of animals. AAVS will continue to take the lead in protecting animals from the threats of pet cloning and educating the public about the truth behind pet cloning.We invite you to support our efforts and explore our website to learn more about the animal welfare problems, ethical concerns, deception, and lack of regulation associated with pet cloning. Pet Cloning News AAVS Responds to Expansion of Dog Cloning in South Korea, 01/15/10. The American Anti-Vivisection Society (AAVS) condemns the recent news that, through a court-ordered settlement, South Korean company RNL Bio Co, Ltd has amassed exclusive rights to clone dogs Read More » "US Company Drops Commercial Cloning" The Korea Times, 09/11/09. A U.S. bio-tech company that had been involved in commercial dog cloning said it will discontinue the business after the failure of legal efforts to prevent its South Korean rival from offering cloning services. Read More » The American Anti-Vivisection Society (AAVS) condemns the recent news that, through a court-ordered settlement, South Korean company RNL Bio Co, Ltd has amassed exclusive rights to clone dogsA U.S. bio-tech company that had been involved in commercial dog cloning said it will discontinue the business after the failure of legal efforts to prevent its South Korean rival from offering cloning services.

Boeing, Intel Partner on In-Flight Wi-Fi

Connexion by Boeing, a business unit of The Boeing Company, and Intel have announced plans to promote high-speed, in-flight wireless Internet services, and say they have successfully finished compatibility tests with laptops that use Intel's Centrino mobile technology. Connexion by Boeing Wi-Fi service is available already on 70 airplanes and 100 daily routes worldwide on Lufthansa Airlines, Scandinavian Airlines, Japan Airlines, ANA, Singapore Airlines, and China Airlines. Soon, Austrian Airlines, Korean Air, El Al, Asiana, and Etihad will begin offering the services on long-range aircraft. Wi-Fi Copilots The announcement marks the first time Intel and Connexion by Boeing have worked together on the in-flight Wi-Fi effort, and includes the addition of Intel's Wireless Verification Program to the partnership. Through that verification program, Intel works with wireless service providers to improve quality of service, having verified 103 service providers in 70,000 hotspots worldwide. Connexion by Boeing spokesman Terrance Scott says Intel's involvement will help ensure that air passengers have high-quality in-flight Wi-Fi service. Connexion already has reached wireless roaming agreements with more than 600 corporations and 17 service providers as part of its efforts to build the in-flight service. Travelers connect through an established account with Connexion by Boeing or use the roaming platforms of their existing wireless providers, typically paying $29.95 for unlimited access on an international flight, or $19.95 for access on flights lasting less than 6 hours. This story, "Boeing, Intel Partner on In-Flight Wi-Fi" was originally published by Computerworld .

Motherhood and Apple Pie

The internet is not an accident. The internet was not bound to happen. There was no guarantee that the internet would reach its current state as a side effect of emerging digital processing and communications capabilities. We did not recover complex alien technology. The internet, that place where all eventual business will be transacted, all content and media will be distributed, all correspondence will be exchanged, all history will be recorded, and all pornography will be is being admired, has a design - and its meant for exactly these purposes. Many of the principles that led to this design are still with us today, although I would challenge you to ascertain them by observing the mainstream technologies being peddled by leading vendors, publications, and analyst firms. Those who rose to power in a much different environment, where the short-term profits of disconnected, dead-end business software was deemed more important than laying a fertile ground where millions of new ideas (and hence new profits) could bloom. But the dead-end has long been reached and so these industry leaders have turned their attention to this new place, built on principles and values very different from their own, and have somehow reached the conclusion that this thriving ecosystem must be re-arranged such that they have somewhere to place their baggage. Instead of embracing the people, principals, and technologies that gave rise to this phenomenon they have chosen to subvert its history and to implant the ridiculous notion that it is “incapable of meeting the stringent demands of the business community.” Not only have these business radicals claimed the internet as their own but they have also somehow gained the confidence of all the worlds industry in their ability to deliver a new and sparkling internet, one no doubt capable of reproducing the complexities and flaws that plague existing mediums so as to make it feel more like home. They’ve brought their own principles and agendas, asserting them as obvious and correct while ignoring the wisdom we’ve gained and shared and gained and shared over years of collaborative practice and observation of working systems at this scale. But business is something for which I’ve acquired admittedly little competence and so I would like to transition now and lay rest to this insulting notion that the tools and methods that dominate the modern web are of lesser quality and modernity than their big-vendor, enterprise class, industry accepted counterparts. The arrogant assumption that the people who built this place have been waiting idly by with suboptimal processes, tools, and protocols in the hopes that one day the masters of proprietary business software would bless us with their advanced capabilities. The rhetoric that suggests that the tools used to provide a brunt of the value on the internet are somehow expired, inelegant, or lacking in technical merit. In an attempt to bring some semblance of reality to the conversation, I would like to present to you, Tim Berners-Lee’s Axioms of Web Architecture, otherwise known as “Motherhood and Apple Pie”. First recorded in one place by Tim in 1998, these principles had been around and were well known for many years before. Some trace back to early computing and some predate computing and were taken from such practices as mathematics. These are the principles of design that have brought us where we are today and you can observe them working as designed in protocols and formats such as HTTP, URIs, MIME, HTML, and even XML (sometimes), and architectures such as REST. And you can observe them working in systems that facilitate the internet - tools such as Apache httpd, PHP, Perl, Python, C, UNIX, and newcomers such as Linux, PostgreSQL, Ruby, etc. I present these principles now as evidence that we are quite aware what it is we’re doing and that these tools and protocols are the way they are for a reason. We realize that they are in many ways quite different from their analogs in the old-world of narrowly distributed business software but we ask that you please consider their design in the context of the ecosystem where they flourish and ponder whether this might not be coincidence. The principles of design that have shaped the web and tools that underly it (again, from Axioms of Web Architecture): Simplicity Modular Design Tolerance Decentralization Test of Independent Invention Principle of Least Power Simplicity We begin our look at the design principles of the web with the most important aspect of design in any system - simplicity. Note that the best way of mixing the basic aspects of design (simplicity, consistency, correctness, and completeness) is a topic that’s been debated for decades. However, all major styles of design agree that “simplicity” ranks first. From Berners-Lee’s Axioms: A language which uses fewer basic elements to achieve the same power is simpler. Sometimes simplicity is confused with “easy to understand”. For example, a two-line solution which uses recursion is pretty simple, even though some people might find it easier to work through a 10-line solution which avoids recursion. Simplicity is sometimes defined as a measure of the number of parts required to make a thing work while retaining clarity. If one design requires many parts while another requires few, the latter is said to have a greater level of simplicity. As an example, which of the following equivalent operations is more desirable? 2 ** 5 or… 2 * 2 * 2 * 2 * 2 While the first solution requires a slightly higher level of understanding it is indeed the simpler because it more clearly captures intent using fewer parts. Note that “simplicity” is not a synonym for “a hack” or “quick-and-dirty”. Neither is it equivalent to “dumbed-down”. Another example might illustrate these differences: One way to print a simple message … public class WeReallyLikeClasses { public static void main(String[] args) { System.out.println("hello world"); } } and another way… print 'hello world' The former provides very little advantage over the latter while requiring more elements. The second example is said to be the simpler and thus is highly desirable. This is an admittedly simple case, which is kind of the point, but this might be a better example. So I would like to impress upon you that the languages that dominate the web are not the way they are because we lack the ability to build more complex, sophisticated, flashy tools and languages, they are that way because we assume extra complexity is unnecessary until proven required and we see very little evidence to support the inclusion of the complexities that have been introduced into “enterprise class” software over the past decade. Modular Design The web’s core architecture and many of the tools that facilitate its operation are extremely modular in design. In fact, in my recent writing about the “LAMP stack” I’ve grown an aversion to the term because what I really wish to convey is not simply the base Linux, Apache, MySQL, and PHP components but near 20 very specific and modular pieces that can be combined in various ways to craft a targeted overall solution to a given problem domain. What about the BSD, lighttpd, PostgreSQL, Ruby configurations? The term LAMP should not exclude them — you can mix any one of the LAMP components into this configuration due to the high level of modularity of each piece. Again we quote TBL: When you design a system, or a language, then if the features can be broken into relatively loosely bound groups of relatively closely bound features, then that division is a good thing to be made a part of the design. This is just good engineering. It means that when you want to change the system, you can with luck in the future change only one part, which will only require you to understand (and test) that part. This will allow other people to independently change other parts at the same time. This is just classic good software design and books have been written about it. The corollary, the TOII is less frequently met. And so it is with great interest that those who understand the principle of modularity and the benefits it provides in web-like environments watch as industry leaders now make such senseless claims as these: Having products that are engineered to work together–something open-source competitors cannot do–will ultimately make Microsoft products easier to run and more cost-effective over time, said Paul Flessner, senior vice president of server applications. As you can infer from the quote, it is not the principle of modularity that drives these components into separate pieces but an inability of “open-source competitors” to make things “work together”. This is especially disturbing when the company making the claim has demonstrably poor modularity that is widely considered to be one of the most significant deterrents to progress on their platform. Tolerance Tolerance is another well-understood and very obvious principle of the web and the tools that support it: “Be liberal in what you require but conservative in what you do” This is the expression of a principle which applies pretty well in life, (it is a typical UU tenet), and is commonly employed in design across the Internet. Write HTML 4.0-strict. Accept HTML-4.0-Transitional (a superset of strict). This principle can be contentious. When browsers are lax about what they expect, the system works better but also it encourages laxness on the part of web page writers. The principle of tolerance does not blunt the need for a perfectly clear protocol specification which draws a precise distinction between a conformance and non-conformance. The principle of tolerance is no excuse for a product which contravenes a standard. Again, adoption of this principle by leading vendors in their attempts to bring the business community to the web are sorely lacking. The complexities and required aspects of vendor driven specifications and tools guarantee that they will never be capable of doing for the business community what the web has done for the general public. Decentralization This is a principle of the design of distributed systems, including societies. It points out that any single common point which is involved in any operation trends to limit the way the system scales, and produce a single point of complete failure. While AOL and Microsoft’s Passport are perfect examples of how ignoring the web’s basic principles can lead to disaster, I won’t go into it due to severe lack of challenge and therefore motivation. However, I would like to note that this principle applies not only to technology but also to the structure of business, vendors, and communities. There are far too few vendors providing far too many services to the business community. Many vendors and analysts actually encourage companies to become completely dependent on a single vendor (as in, “we’re an IBM shop”). A better strategy for businesses is to diversify their technology providers between many smaller vendors that each provide tools and services adhering to the basic principles of the web and thus providing a base level of interoperability and freedom. Those vendors don’t exist in great numbers at present, but they will. Test of Independent Invention This has strong ties to the principle of modularity and, again, is observable in most of the pieces we consider part of LAMP/friends. If someone else had already invented your system, would theirs work with yours? Does this system have to be the only one of its kind? This simple thought test is described in more detail in “Evolution” in these Design Issues. It is modularity inside-out: designing a system not to be modular in itself, but to be a part of an as-yet unspecified larger system. A critical property here is that the system tries to do one thing well, and leaves other things to other modules. It also has to avoid conceptual or other centralization, as no two modules can claim the need to be the unique center of a larger system. Principle of Least Power The Principle of Least Power is perhaps the most visible in the tools and technologies that have gained wide spread acceptance on the web and at the same time the least understood. Languages like HTML, PHP, and RSS are perfect examples of the strange adoption rates “least power” systems enjoy. I will quote TBL in his entirety because he explains the principle so well: In choosing computer languages, there are classes of program which range from the plainly descriptive (such as Dublin Core metadata, or the content of most databases, or HTML) though logical languages of limited power (such as access control lists, or conneg content negotiation) which include limited propositional logic, though declarative languages which verge on the Turing Complete (PDF) through those which are in fact Turing Complete though one is led not to use them that way (XSLT, SQL) to those which are unashamedly procedural (Java, C). The choice of language is a common design choice. The low power end of the scale is typically simpler to design, implement and use, but the high power end of the scale has all the attraction of being an open-ended hook into which anything can be placed: a door to uses bounded only by the imagination of the programmer. Computer Science in the 1960s to 80s spent a lot of effort making languages which were as powerful as possible. Nowadays we have to appreciate the reasons for picking not the most powerful solution but the least powerful. The reason for this is that the less powerful the language, the more you can do with the data stored in that language. If you write it in a simple declarative from, anyone can write a program to analyze it in many ways. The Semantic Web is an attempt, largely, to map large quantities of existing data onto a common language so that the data can be analyzed in ways never dreamed of by its creators. If, for example, a web page with weather data has RDF describing that data, a user can retrieve it as a table, perhaps average it, plot it, deduce things from it in combination with other information. At the other end of the scale is the weather information portrayed by the cunning Java applet. While this might allow a very cool user interface, it cannot be analyzed at all. The search engine finding the page will have no idea of what the data is or what it is about. This the only way to find out what a Java applet means is to set it running in front of a person. I hope that is a good enough explanation of this principle. There are millions of examples of the choice. I chose HTML not to be a programming language because I wanted different programs to do different things with it: present it differently, extract tables of contents, index it, and so on. I hope re-stating these principles at this point in the evolution of business on the web might help illuminate why leading vendors currently seem incapable of bringing the magic of the web to the business community - they don’t understand its basic principles. And instead of attempting to understand these basic principles so that they may apply them for the benefit of their investors, customers, and industry partners, they are attempting to discredit them. This should also clear up any questions as to why IBM and other progressive companies are moving to adopt technologies such as Linux and PHP, why Google and Yahoo are so successful, and why many of us feel Python and Ruby have an edge on more traditional languages designed for the slowly deteriorating world of unconnected business software. The good news in all this is that there is a resurgence of interest in the web’s basic principles that is somewhat oriented toward the business community. I believe this renewal of interest to be the result of increased communication through weblogs and other web-friendly collaboration tools combined with massive adoption of free and open source development methods. The bad news is that a huge portion of the software industry isn’t involved and are in many ways blocking progress using techniques that are hard to describe as anything other than dishonest. (I reserve the right to make changes to this document after sleeping a bit. Please log suggestions and corrections using the comments sections below)

One blog created 'every second'

The blogosphere is varied and growing at a steady rate In its latest State of the Blogosphere report, it said the number of blogs it was tracking now stood at more than 14.2m blogs, up from 7.8m in March. It suggests, on average, the number of blogs is doubling every five months. Blogs, the homepages of the 21st Century, are free and easy to set up and use. They are popular with people who want to share thoughts online. They allow for the instant publication of ideas and for interactive conversations, through comments, with friends or strangers. Global voices Technorati is like a search engine that keeps track of what is happening in the blogosphere, the name given to the universe of weblogs. It relies on people tagging - giving keywords to - their blogs or blog posts so that its search engine can find them. Free blogging services such as those provided by MSN Spaces, Blogger, LiveJournal, AOL Journals, WordPress and Movable Type were also growing quickly, said the report. Blogs are easy to use and can be subscribed to It also pointed to the growth in moblogs, blogs to which people with camera phones automatically send pictures and text. Other services, such as the Google toolbar and the Flickr photo sharing website, have implemented "blog this" buttons, which also make it easier for people to post content they like on the web straight to their blogs. The voices in the blogosphere are also sounding less US-centric, with blog growth spotted in Japan, Korea, China, UK, France, and Brazil. Varied sphere What is clear is that the blogosphere is highly varied, with blogs coming in many shapes and forms, whether they be professional or for personal use. Blogs have been used as campaign sites, as personal diaries, as art projects, online magazines and as places for community networking. Much of their appeal has been boosted because readers can subscribe to them, for free, to stay updated of any new posts automatically. Blogs have played a part in highlighting issues that journalists have not covered. They have also proved to be a valuable communication channel for journalists in repressed countries who have no other publishing means. They have recently shown how they can also complement and enhance mainstream press in coverage of events, such as the recent London terror attacks. The Technorati report did not, however, break down the blogosphere in terms of gender use. Over the weekend, the BlogHer conference took place in the US, which saw a gathering of almost 300 bloggers talk over blogging issues which are pertinent to women, and to men.

Oldest dated evidence of cattle in southern Africa found

A team of researchers working with colleagues from the Botswana National Museum shed new light on the questions of when cattle were brought to southern Africa and from where. A domestic cow bone, dated to about 2000 years ago was excavated from a site at Toteng, located in the Kalahari Desert of northern Botswana. This bone, dated by the Accelerator Mass Spectrometry (AMS) radiocarbon technique, provides the oldest directly dated evidence of cattle in southern Africa. Domestic sheep were also present at Toteng at about the same time. Historical and linguistic information suggest northern Botswana figured prominently in the arrival and dispersal of livestock in southern Africa. The new dates support this view and confirm a long-term association between people and livestock in this part of the Kalahari. The discovery of the 2000 year old cow and sheep bones are important because of the long held view that the Kalahari was a comparatively isolated area that was primarily occupied by foraging peoples until recently. The findings, to be published in the August/October issue of Current Anthropology, are also interesting in the broader context of the spread of domestic livestock throughout Africa. Whereas livestock had spread into northern Kenya in East Africa by as early as 4000/4500 years ago, it took an additional 2000 years for their eventual spread into southern Africa. Experts have stressed that this delay was largely due to the presence of tripanosomiasis, carried by tsetse flies, as well as other diseases that kill livestock in much of the intervening area. The Toteng sites are situated near the southern edge of the Tsetse fly zone and the new dates of about 2000 years ago appear to date the initial penetration of livestock through this zone. Source : University of Chicago Press Journals

Public Schools Begin to Offer Gym Classes Online

MINNEAPOLIS - The nation's public schools are rushing to reconfigure scores of traditional courses from basic composition to calculus so students can take them via the Internet. One of the unlikely new offerings in this vast experiment is online gym. Sound like an oxymoron? Not in Minneapolis, where a physical education course joined the school district's growing online catalog in the spring and already has a waiting list. "I've never seen a response like this to any course," said Frank Goodrich, a veteran football coach who is one of two instructors teaching online physical education this summer to about 60 high school students. The course allows students to meet requirements by exercising how they want, when they want. They are required to work out hard for 30 minutes four times a week and report to their teachers by e-mail. Parents must certify that the students did the workouts.

Passengers survive plane inferno

Flight 358 from Paris burned for more than two hours after the crash landing in bad weather at 1603 (2003 GMT). "We were really, really scared the plane would blow up," passenger Olivier Dubois told a Canadian TV station. The accident was the first major crash of an Airbus A340-300 since the model's first flight in October 1991. The accident took place in heavy rain near Highway 401, one of Canada's busiest motorways, and emergency vehicles raced to the scene. Some 24 people aboard the plane were treated for minor injuries, officials said. Roel Bramar, a passenger on the plane, told Canada's CBC broadcaster that there was mayhem aboard the airliner after the impact. "I was at the very end, and second off the plane. I was just running like crazy. There was quite a bit of fire on the ground." Several witnesses said they thought the plane had been struck by lightning as the power went out just before the plane landed. First accident The plane crashed through barriers and fell into a small ravine, tail in the air. It overshot the runway by some 200m (660ft), Steve Shaw of the Greater Toronto Airport Authority told reporters at a hastily organised news conference. Mr Shaw said it appeared that all the passengers were evacuated before the plane was "heavily damaged by fire". One witness said rescue workers got to the airliner within 50 seconds. Mr Shaw said the airport had been under a "red alert" since midday Tuesday because of danger of lightning. "There was quite a downpour," CBC journalist John Finday said. "The visibility was really bad, with lots of lightning." The A340 has an excellent safety record - with no crashes reported before Tuesday, aircraft expert David Learmount told the BBC. "Modern airliners are like that. They don't have accidents. If this one has had an accident it's the first." Mayhem Mr Dubois told CTV that the plane "was going pretty fast" just before the landing. He said suddenly "it was all black in the plane, there was no more light". "And then we went off the runway, we were in the ravine and the plane was continuing rolling on the ravine and then there were a lot of flames. "The plane stopped. We opened the emergency doors and basically there were lots of flames around. "We were really, really scared that the plane would blow up... We just tried to escape, sliding from the plane and running in the countryside," Mr Dubois said.

Unidentified Sea Creature Found After Typhoon

Early on the morning of July 23, a fisherman from Ningbo City in east China's Zhejiang Province was shocked by the sight of a huge creature lying dead beside the seawall near his home. Liu, who lives in Yangshashan of Chunxiao Town in Beilun District and who has been a fisherman for over ten years, said “I have never seen such a monster; it was larger than a whale.” It was first seen by villagers on July 20, according to Mei who breeds fish nearby, and is nearly 12 meters long and weighs around 2 tons, according to district sea and fishery bureau staff. The animal reportedly has a long thin head and a snout nearly one meter long. Partly rotten, with its spine exposed, it has been impossible to identify, but has been described as having some hair, and orange stripes across a three to four-meter wide belly. The skull, which alone weighs over 100 kg, and coccyx of the creature have fallen from its body. Mei said four young people took away a 100 kg piece of the corpse to study and many experts have come to inspect it, but all in vain. From the degree of putrefaction, the animal may have been dead for a week and beached by Typhoon Haitang several days ago, said Hu from Beilun’s sea and fishery bureau. He said its overall structure means it’s unlikely to be a fish, but the shape of its head is like a crocodile’s. Local fishermen have their own ideas about what the animal is and where it came from. One called Li said it must have lived in the sea, because the skin of its chest is very much like that of many large sea animals, as thick and hard as rubber. According to another named Wang, it is very like an elephant seal, especially its mouth, and he said he once spotted elephant seals on a journey overseas five years ago. Many experts said that, being seriously rotten and deprived of lower limbs and tail, the monster is unlikely to be identified or to be made into a specimen. An expert from Ningbo University's sea creature research center who has not seen the animal said the possibility of it being a huge crocodile was slim, for they usually live in tropical freshwater. He also doubted that it could be an elephant seal, saying it would be hard to explain how one got to the subtropical East China Sea from polar waters. (Today Morning Express, translated by Yuan Fang for China.org.cn July 29, 2005)

The real reason cars and cellphones do not mix

TALKING on a cellphone is more distracting for a driver than talking to a fellow passenger. And now we may know why. While a car is moving, the strength of signal received by a driver’s phone continually changes, and the phone often has to switch from one base station to another during a call. That causes a slight loss of sound quality, forcing the driver’s brain to work harder to work out what the person at the other end is saying, say Takashi Hamada and colleagues at the National Institute of Advanced Industrial Science and Technology in Tokyo, Japan. Hamada’s …

Hate crimes soar after bombings

Mosques outside London were also attacked after the bombings There were 269 religious hate crimes in the three weeks after 7 July, compared with 40 in the same period of 2004. Most were verbal abuse and minor assaults, but damage to mosques and property with a great "emotional impact" also occurred, police said. Met Police Assistant Commissioner Tarique Ghaffur said he had never seen so much anger among young Muslims. It [religious hate crimes] can lead to these communities completely retreating Assistant Commissioner Tarique Ghaffur Communities were particularly frustrated by the increased use of stop-and-search and the new "shoot-to-kill to protect" policy of dealing with suicide bombers, he said. "There is no doubt that incidents impacting on the Muslim community have increased." However, Mr Ghaffur also pointed out that the rise was partly due to the fact that faith hate crimes were now recorded separately from other racial incidents. And he warned: "It can lead to these communities completely retreating and not engaging at a time when we want their engagement and support." Mr Ghaffur revealed that in the first three days after suicide bombers killed 52 people and injured 700 more, there were 68 "faith hate" crimes in London alone. Racial profiling A spokesman for the Muslim Safety Forum, an umbrella group which works closely with the police, said the figures reflected the increase in calls to their members about abuse and attacks since the London bombings. "It's something we've been saying for a few weeks now but it's good to see senior police managers like Tariq Ghaffur have got up and actually said it," spokesman Tahir Butt said. "Although police are talking about a zero tolerance policy the test is how effective that is at ground level when you go in and report a crime," Mr Butt added. But chairman of the Metropolitan Police Authority Len Duvall said that although any hate crime was not to be tolerated, many incidents previously defined as race crimes were now designated faith crimes, leading to a "large percentage increase from a very low base". Faith hate crimes are currently prosecuted under anti-racism legislation, but a bill to create a new offence of incitement to religious hatred is currently going through the Houses of Parliament. The bill, which has attracted criticism from many quarters, has passed its Commons stages but is set to get a rocky ride in the Lords. The alarming figures emerged as Home Office minister Hazel Blears held the first in a series of meetings on Tuesday with Muslim community groups across the country. Those meetings come amid increasing concerns that young Muslims are being targeted by police in stop-and-search operations. There may be longer term implications if this level of activity continues Assistant Commissioner Ghaffur Ahead of the meeting, Ms Blears pledged that Muslims would not be discriminated against by police trying to prevent potential terror attacks. She insisted "counter-terrorism powers are not targeting any community in particular but are targeting terrorists". She also opposed police use of racial profiling, saying stop and searches should be based on good intelligence, not just skin colour. Mr Ghaffur also revealed that the specialist unit dealing with serious and organised crime had lost 10% of its staff to the bombings inquiry. 'Stretched' Between 300 and 473 of Specialist Crime Directorate detectives have been seconded at any one time since 7 July. As a result Mr Ghaffur said key leads would be followed up but proactive work on major murder inquiries had "slowed to a trickle". These include the 2004 murder of Amelie Delagrange, linked to five other attacks on women in south-west London, and the 1992 murder of Rachel Nickell on Wimbledon Common. "The Met is stretched," he said. "There may be longer term implications if this level of activity continues." Last week Met Commissioner Sir Ian Blair revealed the anti-terrorism investigations were costing £500,000 a day.

What Business Can Learn from Open Source

August 2005 (This essay is derived from a talk at Oscon 2005.) Lately companies have been paying more attention to open source. Ten years ago there seemed a real danger Microsoft would extend its monopoly to servers. It seems safe to say now that open source has prevented that. A recent survey found 52% of companies are replacing Windows servers with Linux servers. [ 1 ] More significant, I think, is which 52% they are. At this point, anyone proposing to run Windows on servers should be prepared to explain what they know about servers that Google, Yahoo, and Amazon don't. But the biggest thing business has to learn from open source is not about Linux or Firefox, but about the forces that produced them. Ultimately these will affect a lot more than what software you use. We may be able to get a fix on these underlying forces by triangulating from open source and blogging. As you've probably noticed, they have a lot in common. Like open source, blogging is something people do themselves, for free, because they enjoy it. Like open source hackers, bloggers compete with people working for money, and often win. The method of ensuring quality is also the same: Darwinian. Companies ensure quality through rules to prevent employees from screwing up. But you don't need that when the audience can communicate with one another. People just produce whatever they want; the good stuff spreads, and the bad gets ignored. And in both cases, feedback from the audience improves the best work. Another thing blogging and open source have in common is the Web. People have always been willing to do great work for free, but before the Web it was harder to reach an audience or collaborate on projects. Amateurs I think the most important of the new principles business has to learn is that people work a lot harder on stuff they like. Well, that's news to no one. So how can I claim business has to learn it? When I say business doesn't know this, I mean the structure of business doesn't reflect it. Business still reflects an older model, exemplified by the French word for working: travailler. It has an English cousin, travail, and what it means is torture. [ 2 ] This turns out not to be the last word on work, however. As societies get richer, they learn something about work that's a lot like what they learn about diet. We know now that the healthiest diet is the one our peasant ancestors were forced to eat because they were poor. Like rich food, idleness only seems desirable when you don't get enough of it. I think we were designed to work, just as we were designed to eat a certain amount of fiber, and we feel bad if we don't. There's a name for people who work for the love of it: amateurs. The word now has such bad connotations that we forget its etymology, though it's staring us in the face. "Amateur" was originally rather a complimentary word. But the thing to be in the twentieth century was professional, which amateurs, by definition, are not. That's why the business world was so surprised by one lesson from open source: that people working for love often surpass those working for money. Users don't switch from Explorer to Firefox because they want to hack the source. They switch because it's a better browser. It's not that Microsoft isn't trying. They know controlling the browser is one of the keys to retaining their monopoly. The problem is the same they face in operating systems: they can't pay people enough to build something better than a group of inspired hackers will build for free. I suspect professionalism was always overrated-- not just in the literal sense of working for money, but also connotations like formality and detachment. Inconceivable as it would have seemed in, say, 1970, I think professionalism was largely a fashion, driven by conditions that happened to exist in the twentieth century. One of the most powerful of those was the existence of "channels." Revealingly, the same term was used for both products and information: there were distribution channels, and TV and radio channels. It was the narrowness of such channels that made professionals seem so superior to amateurs. There were only a few jobs as professional journalists, for example, so competition ensured the average journalist was fairly good. Whereas anyone can express opinions about current events in a bar. And so the average person expressing his opinions in a bar sounds like an idiot compared to a journalist writing about the subject. On the Web, the barrier for publishing your ideas is even lower. You don't have to buy a drink, and they even let kids in. Millions of people are publishing online, and the average level of what they're writing, as you might expect, is not very good. This has led some in the media to conclude that blogs don't present much of a threat-- that blogs are just a fad. Actually, the fad is the word "blog," at least the way the print media now use it. What they mean by "blogger" is not someone who publishes in a weblog format, but anyone who publishes online. That's going to become a problem as the Web becomes the default medium for publication. So I'd like to suggest an alternative word for someone who publishes online. How about "writer?" Those in the print media who dismiss the writing online because of its low average quality are missing an important point: no one reads the average blog. In the old world of channels, it meant something to talk about average quality, because that's what you were getting whether you liked it or not. But now you can read any writer you want. So the average quality of writing online isn't what the print media are competing against. They're competing against the best writing online. And, like Microsoft, they're losing. I know that from my own experience as a reader. Though most print publications are online, I probably read two or three articles on individual people's sites for every one I read on the site of a newspaper or magazine. And when I read, say, New York Times stories, I never reach them through the Times front page. Most I find through aggregators like Google News or Slashdot or Delicious. Aggregators show how much better you can do than the channel. The New York Times front page is a list of articles written by people who work for the New York Times. Delicious is a list of articles that are interesting. And it's only now that you can see the two side by side that you notice how little overlap there is. Most articles in the print media are boring. For example, the president notices that a majority of voters now think invading Iraq was a mistake, so he makes an address to the nation to drum up support. Where is the man bites dog in that? I didn't hear the speech, but I could probably tell you exactly what he said. A speech like that is, in the most literal sense, not news: there is nothing new in it. [ 3 ] Nor is there anything new, except the names and places, in most "news" about things going wrong. A child is abducted; there's a tornado; a ferry sinks; someone gets bitten by a shark; a small plane crashes. And what do you learn about the world from these stories? Absolutely nothing. They're outlying data points; what makes them gripping also makes them irrelevant. As in software, when professionals produce such crap, it's not surprising if amateurs can do better. Live by the channel, die by the channel: if you depend on an oligopoly, you sink into bad habits that are hard to overcome when you suddenly get competition. [ 4 ] Workplaces Another thing blogs and open source software have in common is that they're often made by people working at home. That may not seem surprising. But it should be. It's the architectural equivalent of a home-made aircraft shooting down an F-18. Companies spend millions to build office buildings for a single purpose: to be a place to work. And yet people working in their own homes, which aren't even designed to be workplaces, end up being more productive. This proves something a lot of us have suspected. The average office is a miserable place to get work done. And a lot of what makes offices bad are the very qualities we associate with professionalism. The sterility of offices is supposed to suggest efficiency. But suggesting efficiency is a different thing from actually being efficient. The atmosphere of the average workplace is to productivity what flames painted on the side of a car are to speed. And it's not just the way offices look that's bleak. The way people act is just as bad. Things are different in a startup. Often as not a startup begins in an apartment. Instead of matching beige cubicles they have an assortment of furniture they bought used. They work odd hours, wearing the most casual of clothing. They look at whatever they want online without worrying whether it's "work safe." The cheery, bland language of the office is replaced by wicked humor. And you know what? The company at this stage is probably the most productive it's ever going to be. Maybe it's not a coincidence. Maybe some aspects of professionalism are actually a net lose. To me the most demoralizing aspect of the traditional office is that you're supposed to be there at certain times. There are usually a few people in a company who really have to, but the reason most employees work fixed hours is that the company can't measure their productivity. The basic idea behind office hours is that if you can't make people work, you can at least prevent them from having fun. If employees have to be in the building a certain number of hours a day, and are forbidden to do non-work things while there, then they must be working. In theory. In practice they spend a lot of their time in a no-man's land, where they're neither working nor having fun. If you could measure how much work people did, many companies wouldn't need any fixed workday. You could just say: this is what you have to do. Do it whenever you like, wherever you like. If your work requires you to talk to other people in the company, then you may need to be here a certain amount. Otherwise we don't care. That may seem utopian, but it's what we told people who came to work for our company. There were no fixed office hours. I never showed up before 11 in the morning. But we weren't saying this to be benevolent. We were saying: if you work here we expect you to get a lot done. Don't try to fool us just by being here a lot. The problem with the facetime model is not just that it's demoralizing, but that the people pretending to work interrupt the ones actually working. I'm convinced the facetime model is the main reason large organizations have so many meetings. Per capita, large organizations accomplish very little. And yet all those people have to be on site at least eight hours a day. When so much time goes in one end and so little achievement comes out the other, something has to give. And meetings are the main mechanism for taking up the slack. For one year I worked at a regular nine to five job, and I remember well the strange, cozy feeling that comes over one during meetings. I was very aware, because of the novelty, that I was being paid for programming. It seemed just amazing, as if there was a machine on my desk that spat out a dollar bill every two minutes no matter what I did. Even while I was in the bathroom! But because the imaginary machine was always running, I felt I always ought to be working. And so meetings felt wonderfully relaxing. They counted as work, just like programming, but they were so much easier. All you had to do was sit and look attentive. Meetings are like an opiate with a network effect. So is email, on a smaller scale. And in addition to the direct cost in time, there's the cost in fragmentation-- breaking people's day up into bits too small to be useful. You can see how dependent you've become on something by removing it suddenly. So for big companies I propose the following experiment. Set aside one day where meetings are forbidden-- where everyone has to sit at their desk all day and work without interruption on things they can do without talking to anyone else. Some amount of communication is necessary in most jobs, but I'm sure many employees could find eight hours worth of stuff they could do by themselves. You could call it "Work Day." The other problem with pretend work is that it often looks better than real work. When I'm writing or hacking I spend as much time just thinking as I do actually typing. Half the time I'm sitting drinking a cup of tea, or walking around the neighborhood. This is a critical phase-- this is where ideas come from-- and yet I'd feel guilty doing this in most offices, with everyone else looking busy. It's hard to see how bad some practice is till you have something to compare it to. And that's one reason open source, and even blogging in some cases, are so important. They show us what real work looks like. We're funding eight new startups at the moment. A friend asked what they were doing for office space, and seemed surprised when I said we expected them to work out of whatever apartments they found to live in. But we didn't propose that to save money. We did it because we want their software to be good. Working in crappy informal spaces is one of the things startups do right without realizing it. As soon as you get into an office, work and life start to drift apart. That is one of the key tenets of professionalism. Work and life are supposed to be separate. But that part, I'm convinced, is a mistake. Bottom-Up The third big lesson we can learn from open source and blogging is that ideas can bubble up from the bottom, instead of flowing down from the top. Open source and blogging both work bottom-up: people make what they want, and the best stuff prevails. Does this sound familiar? It's the principle of a market economy. Ironically, though open source and blogs are done for free, those worlds resemble market economies, while most companies, for all their talk about the value of free markets, are run internally like communist states. There are two forces that together steer design: ideas about what to do next, and the enforcement of quality. In the channel era, both flowed down from the top. For example, newspaper editors assigned stories to reporters, then edited what they wrote. Open source and blogging show us things don't have to work that way. Ideas and even the enforcement of quality can flow bottom-up. And in both cases the results are not merely acceptable, but better. For example, open source software is more reliable precisely because it's open source; anyone can find mistakes. The same happens with writing. As we got close to publication, I found I was very worried about the essays in Hackers & Painters that hadn't been online. Once an essay has had a couple thousand page views I feel reasonably confident about it. But these had had literally orders of magnitude less scrutiny. It felt like releasing software without testing it. That's what all publishing used to be like. If you got ten people to read a manuscript, you were lucky. But I'd become so used to publishing online that the old method now seemed alarmingly unreliable, like navigating by dead reckoning once you'd gotten used to a GPS. The other thing I like about publishing online is that you can write what you want and publish when you want. Earlier this year I wrote something that seemed suitable for a magazine, so I sent it to an editor I know. As I was waiting to hear back, I found to my surprise that I was hoping they'd reject it. Then I could put it online right away. If they accepted it, it wouldn't be read by anyone for months, and in the meantime I'd have to fight word-by-word to save it from being mangled by some twenty five year old copy editor. [ 5 ] Many employees would like to build great things for the companies they work for, but more often than not management won't let them. How many of us have heard stories of employees going to management and saying, please let us build this thing to make money for you-- and the company saying no? The most famous example is probably Steve Wozniak, who originally wanted to build microcomputers for his then-employer, HP. And they turned him down. On the blunderometer, this episode ranks with IBM accepting a non-exclusive license for DOS. But I think this happens all the time. We just don't hear about it usually, because to prove yourself right you have to quit and start your own company, like Wozniak did. Startups So these, I think, are the three big lessons open source and blogging have to teach business: (1) that people work harder on stuff they like, (2) that the standard office environment is very unproductive, and (3) that bottom-up often works better than top-down. I can imagine managers at this point saying: what is this guy talking about? What good does it do me to know that my programmers would be more productive working at home on their own projects? I need their asses in here working on version 3.2 of our software, or we're never going to make the release date. And it's true, the benefit that specific manager could derive from the forces I've described is near zero. When I say business can learn from open source, I don't mean any specific business can. I mean business can learn about new conditions the same way a gene pool does. I'm not claiming companies can get smarter, just that dumb ones will die. So what will business look like when it has assimilated the lessons of open source and blogging? I think the big obstacle preventing us from seeing the future of business is the assumption that people working for you have to be employees. But think about what's going on underneath: the company has some money, and they pay it to the employee in the hope that he'll make something worth more than they paid him. Well, there are other ways to arrange that relationship. Instead of paying the guy money as a salary, why not give it to him as investment? Then instead of coming to your office to work on your projects, he can work wherever he wants on projects of his own. Because few of us know any alternative, we have no idea how much better we could do than the traditional employer-employee relationship. Such customs evolve with glacial slowness. Our employer-employee relationship still retains a big chunk of master-servant DNA. [ 6 ] I dislike being on either end of it. I'll work my ass off for a customer, but I resent being told what to do by a boss. And being a boss is also horribly frustrating; half the time it's easier just to do stuff yourself than to get someone else to do it for you. I'd rather do almost anything than give or receive a performance review. On top of its unpromising origins, employment has accumulated a lot of cruft over the years. The list of what you can't ask in job interviews is now so long that for convenience I assume it's infinite. Within the office you now have to walk on eggshells lest anyone say or do something that makes the company prey to a lawsuit. And God help you if you fire anyone. Nothing shows more clearly that employment is not an ordinary economic relationship than companies being sued for firing people. In any purely economic relationship you're free to do what you want. If you want to stop buying steel pipe from one supplier and start buying it from another, you don't have to explain why. No one can accuse you of unjustly switching pipe suppliers. Justice implies some kind of paternal obligation that isn't there in transactions between equals. Most of the legal restrictions on employers are intended to protect employees. But you can't have action without an equal and opposite reaction. You can't expect employers to have some kind of paternal responsibility toward employees without putting employees in the position of children. And that seems a bad road to go down. Next time you're in a moderately large city, drop by the main post office and watch the body language of the people working there. They have the same sullen resentment as children made to do something they don't want to. Their union has exacted pay increases and work restrictions that would have been the envy of previous generations of postal workers, and yet they don't seem any happier for it. It's demoralizing to be on the receiving end of a paternalistic relationship, no matter how cozy the terms. Just ask any teenager. I see the disadvantages of the employer-employee relationship because I've been on both sides of a better one: the investor-founder relationship. I wouldn't claim it's painless. When I was running a startup, the thought of our investors used to keep me up at night. And now that I'm an investor, the thought of our startups keeps me up at night. All the pain of whatever problem you're trying to solve is still there. But the pain hurts less when it isn't mixed with resentment. I had the misfortune to participate in what amounted to a controlled experiment to prove that. After Yahoo bought our startup I went to work for them. I was doing exactly the same work, except with bosses. And to my horror I started acting like a child. The situation pushed buttons I'd forgotten I had. The big advantage of investment over employment, as the examples of open source and blogging suggest, is that people working on projects of their own are enormously more productive. And a startup is a project of one's own in two senses, both of them important: it's creatively one's own, and also economically ones's own. Google is a rare example of a big company in tune with the forces I've described. They've tried hard to make their offices less sterile than the usual cube farm. They give employees who do great work large grants of stock to simulate the rewards of a startup. They even let hackers spend 20% of their time on their own projects. Why not let people spend 100% of their time on their own projects, and instead of trying to approximate the value of what they create, give them the actual market value? Impossible? That is in fact what venture capitalists do. So am I claiming that no one is going to be an employee anymore-- that everyone should go and start a startup? Of course not. But more people could do it than do it now. At the moment, even the smartest students leave school thinking they have to get a job. Actually what they need to do is make something valuable. A job is one way to do that, but the more ambitious ones will ordinarily be better off taking money from an investor than an employer. Hackers tend to think business is for MBAs. But business administration is not what you're doing in a startup. What you're doing is business creation. And the first phase of that is mostly product creation-- that is, hacking. That's the hard part. It's a lot harder to create something people love than to take something people love and figure out how to make money from it. Another thing that keeps people away from starting startups is the risk. Someone with kids and a mortgage should think twice before doing it. But most young hackers have neither. And as the example of open source and blogging suggests, you'll enjoy it more, even if you fail. You'll be working on your own thing, instead of going to some office and doing what you're told. There may be more pain in your own company, but it won't hurt as much. That may be the greatest effect, in the long run, of the forces underlying open source and blogging: finally ditching the old paternalistic employer-employee relationship, and replacing it with a purely economic one, between equals. Notes [ 1 ] Survey by Forrester Research reported in the cover story of Business Week, 31 Jan 2005. Apparently someone believed you have to replace the actual server in order to switch the operating system. [ 2 ] It derives from the late Latin tripalium, a torture device so called because it consisted of three stakes. I don't know how the stakes were used. "Travel" has the same root. [ 3 ] It would be much bigger news, in that sense, if the president faced unscripted questions by giving a press conference. [ 4 ] One measure of the incompetence of newspapers is that so many still make you register to read stories. I have yet to find a blog that tried that. [ 5 ] They accepted the article, but I took so long to send them the final version that by the time I did the section of the magazine they'd accepted it for had disappeared in a reorganization. [ 6 ] The word "boss" is derived from the Dutch baas, meaning "master." Thanks to Sarah Harlin, Jessica Livingston, and Robert Morris for reading drafts of this. French Translation Russian Translation Japanese Translation Spanish Translation Arabic Translation

Toyota Developing 10 Models Using Hybrid Power

"It caught up with all of us in 2004 when the industry recalled 30.6 million vehicles, nearly twice the number we sold last year," he said, adding that the problem "undermines the trust people have in the our industry." The hybrid push is a core goal of Toyota's competitive strategy as it looks to increase its overall share of the world's auto market to 15 percent, which would likely vault it past General Motors as the world's largest automaker. The volatility of gas prices, political instability and environmental issues make the continued development of the technology a priority, Mr. Press and other Toyota executives have said. "To us, it's not a passing phase but a vital technology for the 21st century," Mr. Press said. Toyota currently sells three hybrid models in the United States, the Toyota Prius, the Lexus RX 400h and a hybrid version of its Toyota Highlander S.U.V. The company has previously announced 2 of the 10 new hybrid models, versions of its Lexus GS sedan and Toyota Camry. Mr. Press declined to say what other models were under development, but did say that a pickup truck would likely be among the offerings. Toyota's plan will keep up the pressure on other automakers to develop more robust fuel economy strategies to compete with Toyota, as well as Honda, the two companies that brought the first hybrids to market. So far, only the Ford Motor Company has responded with hybrids comparable to Toyota's popular Prius, though most other automakers have models in the works. Nissan plans to sell a version of its Altima sedan that uses Toyota's technology, and G.M. and DaimlerChrysler, companies long skeptical of the technology, have said more recently that they are jointly developing a new hybrid system for trucks.

Opinion | Calling All Luddites

I've been thinking of running for high office on a one-issue platform: I promise, if elected, that within four years America will have cellphone service as good as Ghana's. If re-elected, I promise that in eight years America will have cellphone service as good as Japan's, provided Japan agrees not to forge ahead on wireless technology. My campaign bumper sticker: "Can You Hear Me Now?" I began thinking about this after watching the Japanese use cellphones and laptops to get on the Internet from speeding bullet trains and subways deep underground. But the last straw was when I couldn't get cellphone service while visiting I.B.M.'s headquarters in Armonk, N.Y. But don't worry -- Congress is on the case. It dropped everything last week to pass a bill to protect gun makers from shooting victims' lawsuits. The fact that the U.S. has fallen to 16th in the world in broadband connectivity aroused no interest. Look, I don't even like cellphones, but this is not about gadgets. The world is moving to an Internet-based platform for commerce, education, innovation and entertainment. Wealth and productivity will go to those countries or companies that get more of their innovators, educators, students, workers and suppliers connected to this platform via computers, phones and P.D.A.'s. A new generation of politicians is waking up to this issue. For instance, Andrew Rasiej is running in New York City's Democratic primary for public advocate on a platform calling for wireless (Wi-Fi) and cellphone Internet access from every home, business and school in the city. If, God forbid, a London-like attack happens in a New York subway, don't trying calling 911. Your phone won't work down there. No wireless infrastructure. This ain't Tokyo, pal.

Tara McCartney: 'I kept saying, "Help me, help me." But no one did.'

What would you do if you came across a dying man - stop to help or walk away? Last week Tara McCartney was caught up in a horrific attack on a bus. She was shocked by the response The coverline to the story below stated wrongly that the author of the piece "was the only one" of the passengers who tried to help the fatally wounded man. As was made clear in the story itself, although the author recalled appealing for help without receiving assistance, a number of others also assisted at different points. At first I thought it was some sort of domestic. It's hard to think back, everything happened in slow motion, but I think other people thought the same thing. I was on the lower deck of the number 43 bus on the Holloway Road at about 10pm when I heard a woman shouting, sort of screaming, saying, "Oh my God, what's he doing? Make him stop, make him stop." I looked up and looked around me. The deck had been full, or had certainly felt full, when I got on at the Angel at around 9.30pm. It had thinned out a bit, but there were still plenty of people. Everyone heard her. It was a weird thing to be saying if it really were a domestic tiff, but the way the woman was shouting was as if in disbelief. She didn't shout, "Help, help!" or anything like that. She shouted for a few moments then stopped. Then it started again, and then again. At that point I said out loud, "Oh my God, what's going on?" By this point the bus had stopped at a bus stop. And while she was still shouting upstairs, this youngish black guy came down the stairs very slowly, sauntering down, exaggeratedly slowly, with this weird kind of vacant smile, almost a grin, on his face. He looked all around at everyone, wide eyed, before getting off. I was by the door, next to a window. He was moving so slowly, I made no connection between him and what was going on upstairs. Then a man came down and said to the driver: "You need to stop the bus, you need to stop the bus, there's someone being attacked." Then he got off the bus and disappeared. I don't know whether he has ever come forward to make a statement to the police. At some point, the woman who had been screaming had come down the stairs. We found out later that she was the victim's girlfriend. White-faced, eyes like saucers, she was saying: "Did you see him? Did you see him? He stabbed him." She got off the bus, obviously in severe shock. Then a couple of moments later the victim came down. He had blood on his shirt - not lots of it - but he was saying, "Look, he stabbed me, he stabbed me." What do you do in that situation? I definitely hesitated - I was thinking: there's no way I'll be the first person to do something here, there are so many other people about. And then, suddenly, I had a very quick realisation that no one else was going to do anything. I put my bag down and went to get my phone. Then I went to the man and said, "Sit down," because he was sort of wheeling about, taking his shirt off and saying, "Look, look." But as soon as he sat down he started to go a bit floppy. I kept looking round expecting other people to engage with him as well, but no one did. I was trying to call 999 on my phone, and I think he sat on one of the fold-down seats in the centre of the bus. He started to breathe a bit heavily. I wanted him to lie down because obviously he was wounded. Things started to happen quickly. I was calling 999 and trying to get him lying down at the same time. He was quite a big guy, not huge but an adult man, much bigger than me, and at that point I couldn't physically do both things at once, so I called out, "Can someone help me? Can someone help me?" Nothing happened. No one made eye contact. I couldn't quite believe it. I took off my jumper and put it over where I thought the wound was, then tried to get him down on the floor. I kept saying, "Someone help me!" But no one did. I was on the phone to the emergency services and I suddenly realised that the operator had been saying - I don't know for how long - "Which service do you want? Which service do you want?" Two other girls called the emergency services, too; one was on the now stationary bus, the other was outside. The operator told me to pass the phone to the bus driver. By the time I'd got the man lying down he very quickly started to go into shock; he was very pale and sweating. My jumper was over his stomach and I was trying to apply pressure, but because there wasn't blood rushing out I wasn't sure that that was doing any good. He was in a position where his neck was craned round under a seat; the sensible thing would have been for someone to help me to move him to make him more comfortable, but no one did. All I could do was stay with him. I didn't want to move him around to see where he was hurt so I just had my hand under his head and was holding his hand with my other hand, saying, "Can you tell me your name?" That was the only thing he manage to slur: "Richard." I don't have any real first-aid training, I've just absorbed things, mostly from the Girl Guides. But I do know you have to get a patient to stay with you and not fall into unconsciousness, which they will do if they are in shock. Reassure them, stay with them. So I said: "Can you tell me how old you are, where you live?" but he wasn't answering, he was just kind of rocking back and forth. The only other thing he said was, "I want to go to sleep." I kept saying: "No, no, you've got to stay with us." He was shaking by this point, sweat all over him. I kept saying to him: "It's fine, they'll be here any minute, it's just superficial, there's not much blood, you're going to be fine." A young girl who had stayed on the bus grabbed his legs and pulled them up on the seat. She was the only one who physically did anything at all, this tiny girl, and then after a few moments the other girl who was still on the phone to the emergency services said: "Put his legs down, they say put his legs down." I told her to take off her jacket and put it over him, which she did. But it was only a light little thing and it wasn't really doing anything. He was a full-size man. At one point this other guy came over. I'm not sure, but I think he got on the bus to have a look. He was leaning over, looking, and he was wearing a jacket, a proper jacket. So I said: "Can you give me your jacket so I can put it over him?" He just said "No". That was it. By that point I think there was only Richard, two other girls, the driver and me left on the bus. There had been plenty of people on the lower deck but they just melted away. There was a bus full of people milling around outside. But it was as if no one wanted to get involved. A lot of people must have just gone. The driver was in shock. When the police came the engine was still running. They told the driver to turn it off, and he said, "No, no, I've got to go back to the depot." They said, "The bus isn't going anywhere." I find it astonishing that no one else approached an injured man in this situation. I suppose people might not have thought it was life-threatening. And I suppose some people might have been squeamish. But nevertheless, there was blood, and a guy injured, and you were there. You don't just leave him, and leave someone else to deal with it. Perhaps things wouldn't have happened any differently for him, but every bit of statement and every bit of evidence is going to be vital. After he'd been taken away in the ambulance, I kept saying, "Where did everyone go, why didn't anyone do anything?" I could understand if there had been any danger. It's always my reaction to move away or avoid anyone acting strangely or scarily. But it was clear that the person who had done it had long gone - because we all saw him go. There was no danger at all. Eventually the police and paramedics came. There was blood splattered on the stairs and the floor but there wasn't that much of it. I remember thinking at the time that I must have blood on my clothes, and looked at myself. I was wearing a white T-shirt and I'd been kneeling with him but it was just my hands that were covered in his blood. I heard a girl say, as he was being taken away in the ambulance, that she hadn't wanted to give him any of her clothes. I said, "What, in case they got messy?" Her face said yes. Of all the people who were on the bus, all of us potential witnesses in a murder trial, only five passengers, plus the driver, went to the police station to make statements. While we were there, at about 2am, one of the policemen said: "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but he died." I was in floods of tears. None of us expected that. I learned later that the man's name was Richard Whelan, that he was 28 and that the incident that ended in his death started with a man throwing chips at his girlfriend. I get the number 43 every day to go to work. Like a lot of people, I have been nervous to travel after the terrorist attacks, or certainly more aware. I have found myself looking at other passengers, especially if they were Asian, checking to see whether they were carrying a bag and so on, even though I knew it was ridiculous. But I have also found it strange, since July 7, to read reports about Londoners being stoical and helping each other. My experiences have not quite been like that. One morning, one man on my bus got into a rage because the driver had closed the doors before he was able to get off. Then, when he'd got off, a woman noticed a bag in the luggage area at the front. She yelled out, "Who's bag is this?" and a girl sitting next to the luggage rack said it was hers. And for some reason the woman flew into a rage, too. She was shouting, "Maybe you want to get blown up, but I don't!" Earlier in the week, having seen reports about the murder in the papers, I got very upset. I decided to leave work and I really didn't want to take the 43 home. It would be the first time I'd followed the same route, and I was terrified of seeing the suspect again. So I started to walk towards the tube. Then I thought about the warnings that there might be a third terrorist attack. I eventually decided that I was more scared to get on the tube than I was to get on the bus. Of the two, that seemed to be the most dangerous. So I ended up back on the 43. There is nothing special about me. I did what, until last week, I assumed anyone would do in that situation. But you simply don't know until it happens. No one helped me, but then I didn't get up and go to see what was happening on the top deck when the woman first screamed, when she was clearly desperate for help. I suspect I am the sort of person who, if someone had been acting strangely or scarily, would come downstairs and walk away. · Tara McCartney is a pseudonym. She has not been paid for this article. If you have any information about this incident please call the Metropolitan police incident room on 020-8345 3985 or Crimestoppers on 0800 555111.

John Battelle's Search Blog Yahoo Launches Audio Search

Yahoo keeps rolling with new stuff. Tonight it's audio search. From the release: Yahoo! Search is the first major search engine to deliver an audio search product that provides users access to over 50 million audio files from major music services and independent publishers. Yahoo! Audio Search provides access… Yahoo keeps rolling with new stuff. Tonight it’s audio search. From the release: Yahoo! Search is the first major search engine to deliver an audio search product that provides users access to over 50 million audio files from major music services and independent publishers. Yahoo! Audio Search provides access to a variety of audio files including podcasts, music downloads, albums and spoken word such as newscasts, speeches, and interviews, as well as other audio related information including music videos, album reviews, artist images and artists websites…. … Yahoo! Audio Search’s integration with My Web, Yahoo!’s new social search engine, enables users to save audio searches, creating a personal, searchable Web of favorite audio Web pages. Moreover, My Web users can share their musical tastes with their communities by creating RSS feeds of their saved Web pages. Gary has a complete review here. From that: …what Yahoo is releasing today is a different. It’s a one-stop service (metasearch, sort of) that allows the user to search, find, and access both “open web” audio files (via a Yahoo crawl) along with audio files from numerous music/audio (fee-based) services including Yahoo’s own Music Unlimited, iTunes, Napster, Rhapsody, Emusic, GarageBand.com, and other services. Of course, to download these files you’ll need to pay. That’s right folks, you’ll need to pay. Get used to this, I’d wager it’s coming from Google as well – search as the interface to finding and then paying for stuff. It’s about time, in my humble opinion. Imagine when Google oneboxes (ie adds results automatically like they do with Local) Google Print, for example, or audio, or video….when nearly every search suggests something that can be purchased. Why, it’s a veritable ecommerce nightmare for Amazon and eBay. No wonder they are so into search…

Hurricanes thriving on global warming

An MIT Professor says that hurricanes have been getting more powerful over the last few decades, and warns that the trend is likely to continue. He says that global warming is a contributory factor. In a paper appearing in the online edition of the journal Nature Kerry Emmanuel, professor of meteorology in MIT's Department of Earth, Atmospheric and Planetary Sciences, writes: "My results suggest that future warming may lead to an upward trend in [hurricanes'] destructive potential, and - taking into account an increasing coastal population - a substantial increase in hurricane-related losses in the 21st century." Emanuel analysed data from tropical cyclones dating back to the middle of the last century, tracking the amount of energy released by each storm, the duration of the storm and its top windspeed. He found that since the 1970's, the storms have become more energetic, around half as fast again, and last on average 50 per cent longer. The results are broadly in line with computer simulations of the impact of climate change on hurricane intensity. The increase has also happened in parallel with an increase in the average surface temperature of the world's oceans. Some of this temperature increase can be ascribed to global warming, Emanuel says. ® Related stories Bill Joy knocked as 'conspiracy theorist' by tech zealot Antarcticans to live in blue, ski-mounted, caterpillar Bush admits to being hotter and gassier, blames humans EU lays down the law on green PCs

This means war

The July 7 attacks in London were not an individual act of terrorism but one episode in a worldwide conflict, say researchers at Oxford University. Philip Ball reports The third world war has already started. It is not George Bush's rhetorical "war on terror", but terrorism itself. In other words, terrorism is the new war. Journalistic cliche? Apparently not. A recent analysis of the casualty statistics of global terrorism shows they follow the pattern previously observed for conventional conflicts ranging from small local skirmishes to the second world war. In at least two continuing conflicts not generally regarded as terrorist in nature - in Iraq and Colombia - the statistics are converging on the form seen for global terrorism, perhaps indicating that governments need to deal with wars differently. According to Neil Johnson, a physicist at Oxford University and one of the team that studied the figures, the findings raise the possibility that both conflicts "are a part of one big ongoing global war - a mother of all wars". If that is so, London is embroiled in it, too. The casualty figures for the July 7 bombings "absolutely fall in line" with what the analysis of terrorism statistics predict, says Johnson. But how can a single, simple (if gruesome) statistic such as the number of people killed in attacks tell us anything meaningful about events and conflicts conducted in completely different places for what seem to be totally different reasons? Isn't this like expecting to understand a country's culture by counting its population? That depends on what you are looking for. When he first studied the statistics of "deadly quarrels" 80 years ago, the British physicist Lewis Fry Richardson wanted to understand why wars happen. Richardson, a Quaker who served as an ambulance driver in the first world war, hoped that such insight could promote world peace. He decided first to find out how wars were distributed according to their size. In the 1920s, Richardson plotted the fatality statistics for 82 wars fought since 1820 on a graph showing the size of the conflicts on one axis and the number of conflicts of that size on the other. He found that the data fitted onto a smooth curve which, when the numbers were plotted as logarithms, became a straight line. This sort of mathematical relationship is known as a power law. The line slopes "downwards" because there are progressively fewer conflicts of ever greater size: little wars are common; big ones rare. The power law continued to hold as the data embraced conflicts such as the second world war and Vietnam. Richardson's discovery of power-law statistics of conflicts has been followed subsequently by the recognition that power laws govern all sorts of "social" statistics, from the sizes of towns to the fluctuations of economic markets and the network structure of the world wide web. Power-law statistics of event sizes are also found for natural phenomena that occur close to points of instability, such as earthquakes and avalanches. This suggests that social systems prone to power-law statistics, such as economic markets and international relations, also operate on the brink of instability. Earlier this year, computer scientists Aaron Clauset and Maxwell Young at the University of New Mexico showed that the fatalities from acts of terrorism since 1968 also follow a power law. "We were very surprised," Clauset says. "It made us think that there may be some deep, underlying connection between terrorism and wars." But they found that not all terrorism is the same. There are two different power laws - one that fits the figures for terrorist attacks in industrialised (G8) nations; and another for attacks in the rest of the world. The slope of the straight-line plot was steeper in the latter case, indicating that attacks in industrialised nations are more rare but more severe when they do occur. The attacks of September 11 indicate precisely that, as do the London bombings. Johnson has teamed up with economist Mike Spagat at Royal Holloway College in London, a specialist in the Colombian conflict, and researchers in Bogotá, Colombia, to apply the same kind of analysis to this continuing struggle between the government and several left- and rightwing insurgent groups. The conflict has been going on since the 1980s, and at face value it resembles neither a terrorist-style confrontation nor a conventional war. But the researchers found that the fatality statistics for individual attacks since 1989 also follow a power law. More strikingly still, the slope of the power law has been decreasing steadily over time and appears to be converging on precisely the value that Clauset and Young found for global (non-G8) terrorism. The Colombian "war" may have started out as something unique, but it seems now to have mutated into a conflict with the fingerprint of terrorism. And the team found the same trend for the statistics in Iraq since the coalition invasion in March, 2003. Here, the slope of the power law initially had much the same value as that seen by Richardson for conventional wars. But it has crept up steadily since 2003, and now it, too, is equal to that for global terrorism. Johnson argues that, while the conventional approach of political analysts is to look for micro-explanations of the course of a conflict in terms of the motivations of the groups concerned, that statistical analysis suggests that the outcomes are much more to do with "the mechanics of how people now do war". "It's like looking at different markets," he says. "We now know that a lot of the fluctuations are universal, irrespective of whether you're looking at trading in New York or Shanghai." With that in mind, he and his colleagues have developed a simple mathematical model of how insurgent forces are organised into small groups that are continually coalescing and fragmenting. Assuming that the destructive capacity of a group depends on its size and resources, this model predicts the value of the power-law slope found for global terrorism. The team's conclusion supports the assertion of Mary Kaldor, a political scientist at the London School of Economics, that "the ongoing war in Iraq is a new type of war". Kaldor says that US military action in Iraq has been predicated on the assumption that they are fighting an "old war". "This is immensely dangerous," Kaldor says. That, it seems, must also be the message for any global "war on terror" - it is not one that can be won by military might, but by new strategies. In "new wars", says Kaldor, military forces should be deployed for law enforcement, and "forces are needed that combine soldiers, police and civilians with the capacity to undertake humanitarian and legal activities". But if, as Johnson's work suggests, these conflicts have indeed turned into a form of terrorism, they will not be over soon. According to Clauset, the power-law statistics of terrorism show that it "is an endemic feature of the modern world and is likely not something that can be completely eradicated. Instead, it should be considered in a similar way to other endemic problems, such as crime and natural disasters." Further reading From old wars to new wars and global terrorism N Johnson et al. http://lanl.arxiv.org/abs/physics/0506213 Scale invariance in global terrorism Aaron Clauset and Maxwell Young. http://arxiv.org/abs/physics/0502014 More on Lewis Fry Richardson http://maths.paisley.ac.uk/LfR/home.htm

Publish or be damned

Talk about bad science here. · I have a very long memory. So often with "science by press release", newspapers will cover a story, even though the scientific paper doesn't exist, assuming it's around the corner. In February 2004, the Daily Mail was saying that cod liver oil is "nature's superdrug". The Independent wrote: "They're not yet saying it can enable you to stop a bullet or leap tall buildings, but it's not far short of that." These glowing stories were based on a press release from Cardiff University, describing a study looking at the effect of cod liver oil on some enzymes - no idea which - that have something to do with cartilage - no idea what. I had no way of knowing whether the study was significant, valid or reliable. Nobody did, because it wasn't published. No methods, results, conclusions to appraise. Nothing. · In 1998 Dr Arpad Pusztai announced through the telly that genetically modified potatoes "caused toxicity to rats". Everyone was extremely interested in this research. So what had he done in his lab? What were they fed? What had he measured? A year later the paper was published, and it was significantly flawed. Nobody had been able to replicate his data and verify the supposed danger of GM because we hadn't seen the write-up, the academic paper. How could anyone examine, let alone have a chance to rebut, Pusztai's claims? Peer review is just the start: then we have open scrutiny, by the scientific community, and independent replication. · So anyway, I wrote at the time that these cod liver oil people in Cardiff University were jolly irresponsible, that patients would worry, GPs would have no answer for them, and so on (www.tinyurl.com/cxenh). So this week I contacted Cardiff and said: this is what I said last year, now where's the paper? Prof John Harwood responded through the press office: "Mr Goldacre is quite right in asserting that scientists have to be very certain of their facts before making public statements or publishing data." I'm a doctor, but it's good to know we agree. If puzzling. · "Because of that, Professor Caterson and my laboratory are continuing to work on samples." Right ... "I'm afraid this takes a long time and much longer than journalists or public relations firms often realise. So, I regret he will have to be patient before Professor Caterson or myself are prepared to comment in detail." How kind. And only slightly patronising. I don't want them to comment on fish oil. It's 17 months after "nature's superdrug": I want to know where the published paper is. · Please send your bad science to bad.science@theguardian.com

Coudal Partners The Fish

hey buddy, is this your sander vitreus? Whose Fish? By Albert Einstein (maybe) Update: We've put this puzzle in a handy portable/printable PDF version here so you can find out how smart your family really is this holiday season. Cheers. This brainteaser, reportedly written by Einstein is difficult and Einstein said that 98% of the people in the world could not figure it out. Which percentage are you in? There are five houses in a row in different colors. In each house lives a person with a different nationality. The five owners drink a different drink, smoke a different brand of cigar and keep a different pet, one of which is a Walleye Pike. The question is-- who owns the fish? Hints: 1. The Brit lives in the red house. 2. The Swede keeps dogs as pets. 3. The Dane drinks tea. 4. The green house is on the left of the white house. 5. The green house owner drinks coffee. 6. The person who smokes Pall Malls keeps birds. 7. The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhills. 8. The man living in the house right in the center drinks milk. 9. The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats. 10. The Norwegian lives in the first house. 11. The man who keeps horses lives next to the one who smokes Dunhills. 12. The owner who smokes Bluemasters drinks beer. 13. The German smokes Princes. 14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house. 15. The man who smokes Blends has a neighbor who drinks water. There are no tricks, pure logic will get you the correct answer. And yes, there is enough information to arrive at the one and only correct answer. If you get the correct answer, congratulations, you are one of the exclusive group of 121,348,731 people in the world who can. Send your correct answer and/or complaints to "michele at" -this was all her idea. Note: We were tempted to include the phrase "show your work" with the rules for entry but then we figured that any dork who would Google a puzzle like this in order to win would have to live with self-loathing and guilt for the rest of their life and that would far outweigh the value of the prize package. Yes, we are in fact talking to you Nick M. Note II: Of course, you never know, we might have been smart enough to shuffle the variables a bit so that the answer you find from Googling previous posts of the puzzle might be wrong in a way that allows us to know of your laziness and treachery. Not that we'd ever make such knowledge public or anything. Note III: The online contest is over but we won't spoil your fun, unless of course you want it spoiled. Click here for the answer if you want to take the easy way out. Note IV: For people who like this sort of thing we have a second fish puzzle available here and a slightly different sort of brain-teaser called Da Vinci's Other Code here. Get busy. Note V: A few resources for solvers. Beware, these contain the answers so don't look until you're done or more likely, have given up. Coudal Cover Page

Computer Stupidities: Stupid Tech Support

By no means is tech support immune to exhibiting computer stupidity of their own. This page consists of stories of customers that just can't get the help they need. Customer: "Hi, I can't seem to connect you guys are you having a problem?" "Hi, I can't seem to connect you guys are you having a problem?" Tech Support: "Well sir, what dialup software are you using?" "Well sir, what dialup software are you using?" Customer: "The one you provided." "The one you provided." Tech Support: "And what version is it?" "And what version is it?" Customer: (says the version number) (says the version number) Tech Support: "Oh, that's the problem you need the latest version." "Oh, that's the problem you need the latest version." Customer: "Ok, how do I get it?" "Ok, how do I get it?" Tech Support: "Well, just transfer the file via FTP." "Well, just transfer the file via FTP." Customer: "Well that would be nice, but I can't connect to the Internet." "Well that would be nice, but I can't connect to the Internet." Tech Support: (sounding exasperated) "I told you just to FTP the file sir." I hung up. I recently had a problem setting the video resolution on a new laptop. Me: "It seems that the resolution is supposed to be 1900x1200. It's set to that, but it's not displaying right." "It seems that the resolution is supposed to be 1900x1200. It's set to that, but it's not displaying right." Tech Support: "Yes, that is 1900x1200." "Yes, that is 1900x1200." Me: "No, I have my old computer up here, and it's also set to that resolution, and the icons are much smaller." "No, I have my old computer up here, and it's also set to that resolution, and the icons are much smaller." Tech Support: "Well, so what? Don't you want a bigger resolution?" "Well, so what? Don't you want a bigger resolution?" Me: "Um, no, a bigger resolution means that the icons get smaller. I think I should reinstall the drivers." "Um, no, a bigger resolution means that the icons get smaller. I think I should reinstall the drivers." Tech Support: "No. How long have you been experiencing this problem?" "No. How long have you been experiencing this problem?" Me: "Since the computer started, remember?" "Since the computer started, remember?" Tech Support: "Just on this startup?" "Just on this startup?" Me: "Yes, this is the only startup." "Yes, this is the only startup." Tech Support: "OK, what did you change on the computer since the last startup?" "OK, what did you change on the computer since the last startup?" Me: "What? Nothing. Listen, this is a new comp--" "What? Nothing. Listen, this is a new comp--" Tech Support: "No, I mean, what have you done with your computer recently?" "No, I mean, what have you done with your computer recently?" Me: "I took it out of the box." "I took it out of the box." Tech Support: "Why was your computer in a box?" I had just gotten myself cable modem internet connection, and I was having weird problems with it. It kept disconnecting every few minutes. I called the ISP's tech support. Tech Support: "Well the problem is that you are downloading files that are too big. You only have a 1 megabit connection, so you can't download files over 10 megabytes." "Well the problem is that you are downloading files that are too big. You only have a 1 megabit connection, so you can't download files over 10 megabytes." Me: "What?! I am sure you are just making this up." "What?! I am sure you are just making this up." Tech Support: "No sir. Please upgrade your speed if you want to download bigger files." I had trouble downloading an operating system upgrade for a PDA, so I called tech support. Me: "I can't seem to get this download to complete. What might be causing it?" "I can't seem to get this download to complete. What might be causing it?" Tech Support: "What operating system are you running?" "What operating system are you running?" Me: "Windows NT." "Windows NT." Tech Support: "Well, you have to be running Windows 98 or better in order to download it." "Well, you have to be running Windows 98 or better in order to download it." Me: "Ummm, I am. I'm running Windows NT4, SP5." "Ummm, I am. I'm running Windows NT4, SP5." Tech Support: "Are you on a PC or a MAC?" A friend of mine told me that when he was in junior high school (mid-to-late nineties), they got a computer in the classroom free for the students to use during breaks. The first thing many of them would do to was to change the dull Windows 95 desktop. The school's IT Manager for some reason thought of this as vandalism, so he frequently fixed it in the only way he knew how -- by reinstalling Windows. I was almost on the floor laughing when my friend told me about how the IT Manager had come into their classroom one day and told the students, "Will you STOP changing the desktop background? I've had to reinstall Windows every day for the last two weeks now!" Our local cable company is Comcast. I was having high-speed Internet installed at my apartment, and a Comcast guy showed up. He started spouting off technical jargon about "bouncing signals" and stuff that I knew was complete nonsense, all so he could buy time to have a smoke and talk on his phone. I was starting to get very frustrated that he'd been at my house for a couple of hours and wasn't finished with the install. I'd specifically requested that he not install any software on my computer, because I knew it was not necessary for using the Internet. My roommate, however, had not made the same request. After some time, my roommate had to leave, and I was left to supervise the Comcast guy. I went into my roommate's bedroom to find him scratching his head as he fiddled with her Mac. He was kinda sweaty and really mad and looked up at me and asked, "What kind of computer is this??" "It's a Mac," I said. "What kind of Windows are you runnin' on this thing??" I tried telling him that it did not run Windows, and he refused to believe me. He got so frustrated that he actually ended up cussing at me and comparing me to his ex wife. He got fired. Back when high-speed internet was first getting started, my parents wanted to hop on the bandwagon right away and called a technician to come set them up. At the time I was in junior high school and couldn't be there when the tech showed up. It is important to note that although we were quick in getting high-speed Internet, we didn't have a particularly state-of-the-art machine. It didn't have a cdrom drive, for example, but I assumed the tech would be installing the software from a floppy. Imagine my horror when I came home and found my mother trying to dig the CD out of our ancient 5 1/4" drive with a key, while the "tech" stood behind her, scratching his head and saying, "I've seriously never seen one of those before. Are you SURE it's not a cdrom drive?" I overheard a tech support representative on the phone with someone: Tech Support: "Press your backslash key. Oh, you don't know the backslash? Do the normal backslash...but the one that goes the other way." Isn't the "backslash that goes the other way" called a "forward slash"? Even after telling her it was called a forward slash, I still hear her telling people to "press teh backslash that goes the other way." In 2004, I bought a new, high-end, name-brand desktop computer from the manufacturer. Within six months, I started hearing noises from the exhaust fan for the case. It sounded like a bearing broke and was grinding around as the fan spun. I called the manufacturer's tech support line, explained the problem in detail, and asked them to ship out a new fan, since the machine was still under warranty. The tech to whom I had been connected informed me that the fan was probably fine, and that some software program was at fault, so I'd better completely wipe my main hard drive. I think my jaw actually hit the floor. No amount of reasoning would sway her; she insisted I wipe my drive and refused to discuss the issue any further. It got worse. Her supervisor said the same thing, and her supervisor did too. Over the next two and a half years, I called a total of 38 times trying to get the fan replaced. (In the meantime, I ran the machine with the case open to let the heat out, which worked okay.) Every tech I got told me the same thing as the first: gotta wipe the hard drive! But I had the last laugh. On the 39th call, three days before my warranty ran out, somehow I reached someone who actually knew something. After hearing my story, he not only sent me a new exhaust fan but also a new motherboard, processor, heat sink fan, sound card, and a RAM upgrade. In addition, he had a local tech install everything for me. For future reference, he gave me his personal phone number and email address for me to use instead of the company's number. I was cleaning up my wife's little bit of webspace and found I couldn't delete the files in one folder. Since I could upload/rename/delete other files with any FTP client I chose, it was clearly a server problem. Inexplicably, ownership of the files had been changed by the ISP. It took a transfer to the second tier support to fix the problem, but even at that level, I got asked this question: Tech Support: "Do you have a firewall?" "Do you have a firewall?" Me: "!!! What's that have to do with the problem?" "!!! What's that have to do with the problem?" Tech Support: "Um, I dunno." This is straight from a call log of a major computer company that happens to have technical support technicians in India and other points outside of the United States. Problem Description: Client wants to know the MAC address for the computer. Advise client that I have no way of knowing or obtaining that information. Advise client that she would more than likely need to call Apple to see if they could point her in the direction of obtaining that. Client says that the MAC address is not a macintosh address. Client says that the MAC address can be obtained by doing an ipconfig /all. Client ended up disconnecting the call. During the call I believe I could hear someone else listening. Just before the call was ended by the client there was a something faintly said but I could not make it out. Resolution: Advise client to contact Apple. I'm not the most technical of people, but a few years ago, I got the infamous "blue screen of death." I called in the IT department, and the new guy told me that my monitor just had to be "de-gassed" (degaussed). Needless to say, I rolled around the floor laughing, and someone else was called in to replace my hard drive. Customer: "My laptop won't boot." "My laptop won't boot." Tech Support: "Have you tried rebooting?" "Have you tried rebooting?" Customer: "I can't reboot, because it doesn't boot in the first place." "I can't reboot, because it doesn't boot in the first place." Tech Support: "Sir, we have to do things my way, okay?" My boyfriend and I were sitting in my dorm room, when there was a power surge, causing my computer to reboot. Unfortunately, it never got very far and popped up an error message about a missing file. Panicking, I reboot again, and the same thing happened. Foolishly, I decided to call my computer's tech support line, and after struggling with their automated system, I finally got through to someone. Tech Support: "Thank you for calling tech support. How may I help you?" "Thank you for calling tech support. How may I help you?" Me: "Yeah, um, I just had a power surge in my dorm room, and my computer won't reboot. It's giving me the error message: [error message]" "Yeah, um, I just had a power surge in my dorm room, and my computer won't reboot. It's giving me the error message: [error message]" Tech Support: "Have you tried rebooting?" "Have you tried rebooting?" Me: "Yeah. Want me to try again?" "Yeah. Want me to try again?" Tech Support: "Yes, go ahead. Tell me when Windows comes up." "Yes, go ahead. Tell me when Windows comes up." Me: "Ok...it's giving me the same error message. It's not even getting into Windows." "Ok...it's giving me the same error message. It's not even getting into Windows." Tech Support: "Ok, let's try rebooting again, but this time, hold the button down for longer." "Ok, let's try rebooting again, but this time, hold the button down for longer." Me: "Er...how much longer?" "Er...how much longer?" Tech Support: "About five seconds." "About five seconds." Me: "All right. Holding it down now...ok, it's rebooting." "All right. Holding it down now...ok, it's rebooting." Tech Support: "Good. Tell me when Windows comes up." "Good. Tell me when Windows comes up." Me: "Same error." "Same error." Tech Support: "Ok. Let's try a hard reboot. Turn your computer all the way off, then unplug the power cable." "Ok. Let's try a hard reboot. Turn your computer all the way off, then unplug the power cable." Me: (??) "All right, it's out." (??) "All right, it's out." Tech Support: "Ok, now hold down your power button and plug it back in. But don't let go of the power button yet." "Ok, now hold down your power button and plug it back in. But don't let go of the power button yet." Me: "Er. Ok. Tell me when to let go." "Er. Ok. Tell me when to let go." Tech Support: "Ok, let go. Tell me when Windows comes up." "Ok, let go. Tell me when Windows comes up." Me: "Same error message. Windows isn't coming up." "Same error message. Windows isn't coming up." Tech Support: "Ok, let's try looking at your BIOS." "Ok, let's try looking at your BIOS." Me: "All right." "All right." Tech Support: "Reboot your computer, and when it's coming up, hit F1 as many times as you can." "Reboot your computer, and when it's coming up, hit F1 as many times as you can." Me: "Can't I just hit it once?" "Can't I just hit it once?" Tech Support: "No, your computer should start beeping. I want to make sure it beeps." "No, your computer should start beeping. I want to make sure it beeps." Me: "All right, it beeped. BIOS came up a while ago." "All right, it beeped. BIOS came up a while ago." Tech Support: "Ok, let's walk through some things...." He proceeded to do nothing more than confirm there was nothing wrong with my BIOS. He had me reboot again, and, of course, I got the same error message. Tech Support: "Ok, let's try bios one more time." "Ok, let's try bios one more time." Me: "All right." "All right." Tech Support: "Now, when it's rebooting, I want you to hit the F1 key as many times as you can. It has to beep for this to work." "Now, when it's rebooting, I want you to hit the F1 key as many times as you can. It has to beep for this to work." Me: "I really don't think my computer 'beeping' has anything to do with the problem." "I really don't think my computer 'beeping' has anything to do with the problem." Tech Support: "I think I know a little more about computers than you do, ma'am." "I think I know a little more about computers than you do, ma'am." Me: "All right, fine, I'm hitting it. My computer is beeping." "All right, fine, I'm hitting it. My computer is beeping." Tech Support: "I don't believe you." "I don't believe you." Me: "...Excuse me?" "...Excuse me?" Tech Support: "I think you're lying. I need you to hit it as many times as you can. This is very important." Finally, I gave up on the guy and made my boyfriend finish the call. About half a minute into the call, my boyfriend gets a really funny look on his face and ejects the floppy disk that was in the drive. He rebooted it, and it worked fine. I suppose this doubles as a stupid user story too, but you'd think a tech support person would have checked for that early on, instead all the other dumb things he had me do. I called up tech support because Internet Explorer insisted on opening everything I was trying to download with Quicktime. Customer: "Internet Explorer insists on opening everything I try to download with Quicktime." "Internet Explorer insists on opening everything I try to download with Quicktime." Tech Support: "Ok." "Ok." Customer: "So whenever I click on anything that I want to download it tries to open it with Quicktime." "So whenever I click on anything that I want to download it tries to open it with Quicktime." Tech Support: "Are you sure that its not a Quicktime file?" "Are you sure that its not a Quicktime file?" Customer: "No it's an exe file." "No it's an exe file." Tech Support: "So it's not a Quicktime file?" "So it's not a Quicktime file?" Customer: "No, and I can't right click either, to do a Save Target As." "No, and I can't right click either, to do a Save Target As." Tech Support: "Oh, but you're sure it's not a Quicktime file, right?" "Oh, but you're sure it's not a Quicktime file, right?" Customer: "Yes, it is an executable file, DOT E X E, not DOT M O V." "Yes, it is an executable file, DOT E X E, not DOT M O V." Tech Support: "Is it a .exe that can be opened in Quicktime?" I use a cable modem ISP, one of North America's largest ISPs. During one of their interminable outages, I called to demand what the problem was. Tech Support: "Is your computer on? Is the modem plugged in?" "Is your computer on? Is the modem plugged in?" Me: "Yes, it's on and working fine. The modem's plugged in, but it isn't getting anything from your end." "Yes, it's on and working fine. The modem's plugged in, but it isn't getting anything from your end." Tech Support: "Ok, can you click on the 'Start' button and type 'WINIPCFG'--" "Ok, can you click on the 'Start' button and type 'WINIPCFG'--" Me: "Yes, I know. My IP is listed as 169.XXX.XXX.XXX." This IP was the one Windows 98 usually gives when it's supposed to have one assigned to it but doesn't get one. Tech Support: "Well, sir, that's the problem." "Well, sir, that's the problem." Me: "Yes, I know. I'm getting no IP. I'm not in the network." "Yes, I know. I'm getting no IP. I'm not in the network." Tech Support: "No, sir, the problem is that you're using a Mac." Er.... Me: "I'm sorry?" "I'm sorry?" Tech Support: "Sir, your IP is a Mac IP. You're not using a PC." "Sir, your IP is a Mac IP. You're not using a PC." Me: "Uhhh, I am using a PC. It's a Dell with an Intel PII-450 CPU. I'm running Windows 98." "Uhhh, I am using a PC. It's a Dell with an Intel PII-450 CPU. I'm running Windows 98." Tech Support: "No, sir. Your IP indicates that your computer is a Mac. IPs that start with those numbers are used by Macs." "No, sir. Your IP indicates that your computer is a Mac. IPs that start with those numbers are used by Macs." Me: "You know, I don't think it works that way. I'm pretty certain IPs are assigned based on where the computer is in a domain and a subdomain and such. I know all your IPs assigned in this area start with XXX. And I'm quite certain my computer is a PC." "You know, I don't think it works that way. I'm pretty certain IPs are assigned based on where the computer is in a domain and a subdomain and such. I know all your IPs assigned in this area start with XXX. And I'm quite certain my computer is a PC." Tech Support: "I don't think we use 'domain' here." "I don't think we use 'domain' here." Me: "Can I speak to a supervisor, please?" I was having a problem with my Internet connection a week ago. It would go off, but both the modem and router said it was on. I first called the manufacturer of the router, who guided me through some steps, and we came to the conclusion it was the modem. I noticed it happened more often when I started my new game Battlefield 2, so I called EA Games, and they told me to open ports. Then I called my ISP. Tech Support: "How may I help you today?" "How may I help you today?" Me: "Hi, I was wondering if you could open some ports on my connection. I need them open for this game I have, and I've opened them on my end, but the game says that you should also open your end as well." "Hi, I was wondering if you could open some ports on my connection. I need them open for this game I have, and I've opened them on my end, but the game says that you should also open your end as well." Tech Support: "So you want to stick your game into the modem?" "So you want to stick your game into the modem?" Me: "No, I want you to open some ports so I can play the game." "No, I want you to open some ports so I can play the game." Tech Support: "Sir, you cannot stick a game into your modem, you need a computer to stick the game into--" "Sir, you cannot stick a game into your modem, you need a computer to stick the game into--" Me: "Ummm, I don't want to stick the game into my modem, I want you to O-P-E-N P-O-R-T-S!!!" "Ummm, I don't want to stick the game into my modem, I want you to O-P-E-N P-O-R-T-S!!!" Tech Support: "There's a cdrom drive on your computer. If you press the button that is next to or says 'cdrom drive,' a thing that looks like a cup holder will come out. Stick your game--" "There's a cdrom drive on your computer. If you press the button that is next to or says 'cdrom drive,' a thing that looks like a cup holder will come out. Stick your game--" Me: "!@#$*!@%" Some shuffling sounds on their end. Supervisor: "Hello sir." "Hello sir." Me: "Would it be possible for you to open some ports on my internet connection so I can play a game. I've already done it on the router I have." "Would it be possible for you to open some ports on my internet connection so I can play a game. I've already done it on the router I have." Supervisor: "Sir, you cannot put a game into your modem. It doesn't work." "Sir, you cannot put a game into your modem. It doesn't work." Me: "!@#$*!@%" So then I called the company's business center, and I was told that opening ports would cost a LOT of money. I called tech support again, and finally got routed to their site in Texas. I told him my problem with the modem and ports and relayed to him the story. After laughing and apologizing, he told me (after I gave him the modem model number) that my modem was out of date. The new modem took five minutes to configure, and it worked fine. This incident happened to me in India. This was in 1992-3 when Windows 3.1 was becoming popular. My machine had a CGA card and monitor, which I exchanged for a VGA card and monitor. The machine booted up -- there were no warning beeps -- but nothing was appearing on the screen. So I called up tech support. Customer: "The computer boots up without any warning beeps, but nothing shows up on the screen." "The computer boots up without any warning beeps, but nothing shows up on the screen." Tech Support: "Is the monitor connected." "Is the monitor connected." Customer: "Yes, but there is no display." "Yes, but there is no display." Tech Support: "Did you install the drivers for the VGA card?" "Did you install the drivers for the VGA card?" Customer: "How can I install them before I'm in DOS?" "How can I install them before I'm in DOS?" Tech Support: "You have to install the drivers first before you can get a display." "You have to install the drivers first before you can get a display." Customer: "You don't need VGA drivers to boot to DOS like you do for Windows. I should be able to boot to DOS." "You don't need VGA drivers to boot to DOS like you do for Windows. I should be able to boot to DOS." Tech Support: "Well, insert the floppy you received with your card. Go to the A:\Utilities directory. Type 'readme.com'." "Well, insert the floppy you received with your card. Go to the A:\Utilities directory. Type 'readme.com'." Customer: "I cannot see anything. How do you expect me to read a file on the screen?" "I cannot see anything. How do you expect me to read a file on the screen?" Tech Support: "Read the file, and it will explain everything." I hung up. The problem was that the monitor was broken. I took it to the shop and proved it, and they gave me a replacement. After owning my computer for a little over two months I noticed the system was sluggish. Me: "My system's really slow on bootup." "My system's really slow on bootup." Tech Support: "Have you been on the net for a long time?" "Have you been on the net for a long time?" Me: "Well, yeah, about a month or two." "Well, yeah, about a month or two." Tech Support: "Try deleting the cache. Oh, and do you have a virus scanner?" "Try deleting the cache. Oh, and do you have a virus scanner?" Me: "Yes, it was the first thing I put on the hard drive." "Yes, it was the first thing I put on the hard drive." Tech Support: "Oh, get rid of it. That's the problem. Those virus scanners screw things up on your disk. Get rid of it." "Oh, get rid of it. That's the problem. Those virus scanners screw things up on your disk. Get rid of it." Me: "Isn't that risky?" "Isn't that risky?" Tech Support: "And you'll have to format your hard drive with Quick Reinstall. That's really all I know." "And you'll have to format your hard drive with Quick Reinstall. That's really all I know." Me: "Um...sure. Sure I will." A friend cleaned up my system path, and the boot lag cleared right up. And guess what? I didn't have to format my hard drive after all. My school district decided to require us school psychologists to do all our reports on laptops and print from a single printer. After a few months the laptop they provided me ceased to work with the printer. I spoke with the IT Manager. IT Manager: "I don't know if the problem is a hardware problem or a software problem." "I don't know if the problem is a hardware problem or a software problem." Me: "Ok." "Ok." IT Manager: "So I can't solve the problem now." "So I can't solve the problem now." Me: "When can you solve it?" "When can you solve it?" IT Manager: "I told you: I don't know if it is a hardware problem or a software problem. I can't fix it until I know." "I told you: I don't know if it is a hardware problem or a software problem. I can't fix it until I know." Me: "Ok. I need to print my reports. When will I be able to?" "Ok. I need to print my reports. When will I be able to?" IT Manager: (angrily) "Look, if it's a hardware problem I can't fix it! I don't know if it is a hardware or a software problem." I made several more attempts to communicate with the IT manager about this problem over the next few weeks, only to find myself in the same conversation. Finally, I sent a memo to my boss, explaining that I was having difficulty getting tech support and could not print out my reports. My boss wrote back: Boss: "Please do not harass the IT Manager anymore. He has already explained to you that he doesn't know whether it is a software problem or a hardware problem." Technician: "What a bad day! The PC is not working well, the phone is out of order, and I wounded my fingers when trimming the network plug with a knife to fit the PC hole." A few weeks ago I was calling around to some local phone companies, looking for DSL. I have cable right now, but I'm extremely unhappy with the pathetic support they give. Anyway, the phone company is one of the main providers of DSL, so I called their number to ask some questions. Me: "I want to get more information about the DSL." "I want to get more information about the DSL." Her: "What would you like to know?" "What would you like to know?" Me: "Is the 768K download in bits or bytes? I'm assuming bits." "Is the 768K download in bits or bytes? I'm assuming bits." Her: "I believe it's in bytes." "I believe it's in bytes." Me: "So you are giving me faster than my cable connection for cheaper? Are you sure its not 768 kilobits, which is about 96 kilobytes?" "So you are giving me faster than my cable connection for cheaper? Are you sure its not 768 kilobits, which is about 96 kilobytes?" Her: "I'm pretty sure it's 768 kilobytes." "I'm pretty sure it's 768 kilobytes." Me: "Ok, that works. As for the IP address, is it static or dynamic?" "Ok, that works. As for the IP address, is it static or dynamic?" Her: "It's dymanic." "It's dymanic." Me: "Oh, ok. So how often does it change?" "Oh, ok. So how often does it change?" Her: "The only time it ever changes is when you go in there and change it." "The only time it ever changes is when you go in there and change it." Me: "Ummmm, then how would that be dynamic if it never changes?" "Ummmm, then how would that be dynamic if it never changes?" Her: (click) Ok, so, strike one. The girl in tech support didn't know what she was talking about, so she hung up on me. I called back, and this time a man answered the phone. I told him the girl was not only clueless but hung up on me, and I am already considering not using them. He said he would try to help. I asked him the same questions. The download speed is 768 kilobits. The IP address is dynamic and changes every few hours. But he couldn't answer anything else: he didn't know where I would get the DSL modem from, if they are using internal DHCP, how the changing IP address will affect my connectivity and downloads, etc. He finally admitted that at that particular call center, they really don't know much about it. He gave me a number for tech support. I called that number and a lady answered. She gave me a set of responses that were different still. I finally wrote in to their customer service and told them that after one person clearly had no clue what she was talking about and hung up on me, a second was guessing and admitted he didn't know, and tech support gave me completely different answers, I will not be using their services. The next day I received a reply. The man who replied basically said he was sorry for such bad service, and please call the following number for support. It was the number I dialed the first time. I use a cable modem company for my Internet service. One day, it was not working. So I called our neighbors down the street and found that theirs was not working either. I decided to call tech support to see if it was down in our area. The message did not list it, so I went ahead to ask tech support. Tech Support: "Oh, we've been getting a lot of calls from that area today." "Oh, we've been getting a lot of calls from that area today." Customer: "So service down in this area, then?" "So service down in this area, then?" Tech Support: "Hmmm, well, my records don't show that. Okay, let's check your settings." "Hmmm, well, my records don't show that. Okay, let's check your settings." Customer: "I've already checked my settings; they are fine. But I can see that the light on the cable modem isn't on. I just want to know if service is down and if someone is working on the problem." "I've already checked my settings; they are fine. But I can see that the light on the cable modem isn't on. I just want to know if service is down and if someone is working on the problem." Tech Support: "Hmmm, the problem isn't on our end, it's on your end. Maybe you should try to re-install your drivers. Sometimes the drivers just fail." "Hmmm, the problem isn't on our end, it's on your end. Maybe you should try to re-install your drivers. Sometimes the drivers just fail." Customer: "Ma'am, we have five computers connected to the cable modem? None of them can get online. Are you saying all their drivers failed simultaneously?" "Ma'am, we have five computers connected to the cable modem? None of them can get online. Are you saying all their drivers failed simultaneously?" Tech Support: "Oh, your computers are networked? Well, we don't support networks." "Oh, your computers are networked? Well, we don't support networks." Customer: "That's fine, I have my PC connected directly to the cable modem right now." "That's fine, I have my PC connected directly to the cable modem right now." Tech Support: "Well, just re-install your modem drivers. Go to Control Panel...." "Well, just re-install your modem drivers. Go to Control Panel...." Customer: "Wait, you are telling me that five PCs of five different brands with five different drivers failed simultaneously? And how about the rest of the area? I think your service is down." "Wait, you are telling me that five PCs of five different brands with five different drivers failed simultaneously? And how about the rest of the area? I think your service is down." Tech Support: "Ma'am, I think it's your drivers." "Ma'am, I think it's your drivers." Customer: "Uh, thanks, I'll check it out and call you back." I called back 30 minutes later. It turns out service was down in our area. About a year ago, my mother was having problems with her brand new computer. She hadn't had it for a month before the video card died. She called the customer service line and spoke with a technical support representative, who diagnosed the problem and promised that they would send a new card to her. She received the new card and called the 800 number again, this time asking what to do with the card. The guy that was helping her said, "Do you see the screws on the back of the computer? Well, take them all out and take off the case. You will see a card that looks like the one you just received. Replace it with the card you have and put the case back on." And then he hung up. So here is my mother, staring at the back of her computer, seeing an array of screws, and wondering which ones she should take out. She followed his directions to the letter and unscrewed all of the screws on the back of her computer, not just the ones around the casing edge. All of her computer components hit the bottom of the case with a bang. When the dust settled and she realized what she had done, she called back, in hysterics. Thankfully, she got a nice woman who understood and agreed that it was the tech support guy's fault for not staying with her on the phone. She agreed to ship her a new computer at no charge. When I was in college, I needed to connect to the school's network from my own computer in my dorm room. I knew there was a dial-up number that would allow me to log in and run limited commands. All I needed to know was the number. So I called the help desk. Me: "I'm trying to access the University's network from my computer in my dorm room. Can you help me?" "I'm trying to access the University's network from my computer in my dorm room. Can you help me?" Help Desk: "Which lab are you in?" "Which lab are you in?" Me: "I'm not in a lab. I'm in my room." "I'm not in a lab. I'm in my room." Help Desk: "Then you're not on the network." "Then you're not on the network." Me: "But I want to connect over the phone line. What number do I need to dial?" "But I want to connect over the phone line. What number do I need to dial?" Help Desk: "You need to call [phone number of help desk]." "You need to call [phone number of help desk]." Me: "No, that's your phone number. I need a dial-up number for the computer." "No, that's your phone number. I need a dial-up number for the computer." Help Desk: "I don't understand. What are you trying to do?" "I don't understand. What are you trying to do?" Me: "I want to connect my computer to the school's network through the dial-up." "I want to connect my computer to the school's network through the dial-up." Help Desk: "Why don't you use a computer in the lab?" "Why don't you use a computer in the lab?" Me: "That would defeat the purpose of having a computer in my room." "That would defeat the purpose of having a computer in my room." Help Desk: "Well, your computer is not connected to the school network." "Well, your computer is not connected to the school network." Me: "I know! I want to use my modem to connect." "I know! I want to use my modem to connect." Help Desk: "What's a modem?" "What's a modem?" Me: "Never mind." Me: "I was thinking of installing Linux, but I was wondering if you knew if the modem works under Linux." "I was thinking of installing Linux, but I was wondering if you knew if the modem works under Linux." Tech Support: "Oh, I'm sorry, we only support Windows." "Oh, I'm sorry, we only support Windows." Me: "I know. I was just wondering if you knew if it was possible." "I know. I was just wondering if you knew if it was possible." Tech Support: "But we only support Windows." "But we only support Windows." Me: "I know, but just to save me some time, have you heard of anyone that got Linux to work with the modem?" "I know, but just to save me some time, have you heard of anyone that got Linux to work with the modem?" Tech Support: (getting annoyed) "Why can't you just use Netscape?" (getting annoyed) "Why can't you just use Netscape?" Me: "Uh, wha? It's not a browser, it's a--never mind. Thanks for your help." Customer: "When my computer boots up, all I get is a black screen that says, 'boot2/'." "When my computer boots up, all I get is a black screen that says, 'boot2/'." Tech Support: "What operating system are you using?" "What operating system are you using?" Customer: "I'm using Windows 98 and NT 4.0." "I'm using Windows 98 and NT 4.0." Tech Support: "Ok, I'm the Mac tech. The Windows tech is gone, but I can try to help you." "Ok, I'm the Mac tech. The Windows tech is gone, but I can try to help you." Customer: "Ok, what should I do? I've reformatted the hard drive and have fresh installs of both operating systems." "Ok, what should I do? I've reformatted the hard drive and have fresh installs of both operating systems." Tech Support: "Sir, have you put any cheese or mustard in your a drive?" "Sir, have you put any cheese or mustard in your a drive?" Customer: "What? Did you just ask me if I put cheese or mustard in my floppy drive?" "What? Did you just ask me if I put cheese or mustard in my floppy drive?" Tech Support: "Yeah, we've had that happen a lot lately." "Yeah, we've had that happen a lot lately." Customer: (staring blankly at roommate, who was laughing uncontrollably on the floor) "I think I'll wait for the PC tech to get back. Thanks for the help." (click) Last term in college I was working in the lab when my network connection suddenly died. Mine was the only computer doing that, and we're not supposed to mess with the computers ourselves, so I called the lab attendant over. This guy was a fourth term programming major. I don't know how he was this stupid. But I told him what was wrong and what error message I was getting ("no route to host") and figured he'd go behind the computer and check the wires. No. He brought up the menu on the monitor (that allows you to adjust the size, shape, tint, brightness, etc, of the display) and starts fiddling with that. He told me to try again. Obviously it didn't work. Me: "Why don't you just check the network wires?" "Why don't you just check the network wires?" Him: "I'm the computer expert here. Just let me work." He fiddled with the monitor settings some more. Finally he slapped the monitor and said: Him: "Well, I don't know what's wrong. That's what they get for having NT servers." When he left, I checked the back of the computer. As I thought, the wire had gotten pulled out. Me: "Yes, I'm having trouble with the connect suite for dial-up." "Yes, I'm having trouble with the connect suite for dial-up." Tech Support: "What seems to be the problem?" "What seems to be the problem?" Me: "I get random disconnects, I can't always get the dialer to work, and web pages often give strange time-out errors. I set everything up according to the documentation." I thought, at this juncture, I'd get the usual "let's go through the setup just to be sure" routine. I was wrong. Tech Support: "Yes, well, that program doesn't work on everyone's computer." "Yes, well, that program doesn't work on everyone's computer." Me: "I know that. It doesn't work on mine, for instance." "I know that. It doesn't work on mine, for instance." Tech Support: "Well, we don't know why it doesn't always work. You should consider getting a new computer." My company recently hired a new technician, and at first he seemed to know what he was doing, but soon he got in over his head. A customer brought in a system and said she couldn't get on the Internet. When the tech couldn't get the plug-n-play modem to work under Win3.11, he assumed it was a new modem, and it couldn't be done. He called her. Tech Support: "Ok, this modem, since it is plug-n-play, will not work in Windows 3.11. You'll have to get a new modem or install the Windows 95 upgrade." "Ok, this modem, since it is plug-n-play, will not work in Windows 3.11. You'll have to get a new modem or install the Windows 95 upgrade." Customer: "But I've been using that modem for over a year in Windows 3.11, and it never gave me any problems." "But I've been using that modem for over a year in Windows 3.11, and it never gave me any problems." Tech Support: "Well it doesn't work now." "Well it doesn't work now." Customer: "If it worked before, why would it not work now?" "If it worked before, why would it not work now?" Tech Support: "Lightning must have hit it, and now it won't work in anything but Windows 95." She called back later and asked for someone else. A year ago, I was programming a database for one of the larger insurance companies in my state. The computers they had were awful things that still ran Windows 3.1 and took about three minutes to boot up. One morning I turned on my computer and waited for it to boot. Just as it loaded Windows, it started rebooting all over again. I waited again, and it did it again. After about ten times, I began to wonder. I would have just loaded DOS and found the problem, but one of the security systems on the computers there automatically rebooted the computer if you went to a DOS prompt. So I called tech support and explained the problem. Tech Support: "Ok sir, have you tried rebooting the computer?" I have a Pentium 100 that I bought in March 1996. I moved since then and lost the documentation about the motherboard. I called tech support. Me: "Hi, I have a Pentium 100, and I want to put in a faster processor, a 133 MHz. I lost my motherboard documentation and the jumpers aren't marked. Can you tell me what the maximum is for the board I have?" I give him all the information he needs, restating the question three times in the process. Tech Support: "I don't have that information." "I don't have that information." Me: "You guys built the machine. Don't you have an engineer somewhere with this information?" "You guys built the machine. Don't you have an engineer somewhere with this information?" Tech Support: "Um, I don't know let me ask." Ten minutes later: Tech Support: "Ok, I am going to transfer you to a technician." "Ok, I am going to transfer you to a technician." Technician: "Ok, you want to put a 133 processor on this board?" "Ok, you want to put a 133 processor on this board?" Me: "Yes." "Yes." Technician: "This board only goes up to 100 MHz. You can use it with Pentium 75, 90, or 100." "This board only goes up to 100 MHz. You can use it with Pentium 75, 90, or 100." Me: "That's a disappointment -- I wish you hadn't sent me a machine with no upgrade flexibility like that." "That's a disappointment -- I wish you hadn't sent me a machine with no upgrade flexibility like that." Technician: "Well, you can put the P133 in -- it will run at 133, even though when it boots it will only say 100." "Well, you can put the P133 in -- it will run at 133, even though when it boots it will only say 100." Me: "REALLY? In the five years I have been working with PC hardware and software, and of all the machines I have upgraded, I have never heard of this. Are you sure you are correct?" "REALLY? In the five years I have been working with PC hardware and software, and of all the machines I have upgraded, I have never heard of this. Are you sure you are correct?" Technician: (long pause) "Um, no." (long pause) "Um, no." Me: "You just wanted to get me off the phone, right? Well, I just wanted the answer about my board -- if the answer is no, fine, but don't lie to me." "You just wanted to get me off the phone, right? Well, I just wanted the answer about my board -- if the answer is no, fine, but don't lie to me." Technician: "Um, sorry. No, you can't upgrade that board to a processor faster than 100." Me: "Hi, I have a problem with my left speaker, no sound is coming out of it." "Hi, I have a problem with my left speaker, no sound is coming out of it." Tech Support: "Have you adjusted the balance in the volume properties?" "Have you adjusted the balance in the volume properties?" Me: "Yes, it's definitely not that, and it's not a sound card or connection problem either. Could you just send me some new speakers? It's still under warranty." "Yes, it's definitely not that, and it's not a sound card or connection problem either. Could you just send me some new speakers? It's still under warranty." Tech Support: "Errrm, ok, I want you to go to DOS and type 'format c:' and then restore your hard disk from the master CD." "Errrm, ok, I want you to go to DOS and type 'format c:' and then restore your hard disk from the master CD." Me: (click) I called my cable modem service about a problem involving a series of constant disconnections and lock ups. Tech Support: "Oh, you need to empty your browser's cache." "Oh, you need to empty your browser's cache." Me: "Well, that's a different program." "Well, that's a different program." Tech Support: "Do you use Internet Explorer or Netscape?" "Do you use Internet Explorer or Netscape?" Me: "Internet Explorer." "Internet Explorer." Tech Support: "Ok, click on View/Properties/Internet Options." "Ok, click on View/Properties/Internet Options." Me: "I'm sorry but cache files from an entirely different program couldn't possibly be causing this." "I'm sorry but cache files from an entirely different program couldn't possibly be causing this." Tech Support: "Hmm, let me refer you to advanced technical support." The advanced technician knew exactly what the problem was and solved it. A month later it happened again. Tech Support: "When was the last time you cleaned your browser's cache?" Yet again I was forwarded to advanced tech support, and my problem was solved. A while later, it happened a third time. Tech Support: "Oh, it's the cable line in your area. We'll get a truck rolling on it right away." "Oh, it's the cable line in your area. We'll get a truck rolling on it right away." Me: "If it's the cable line, how am I able to connect at all?" "If it's the cable line, how am I able to connect at all?" Tech Support: "There could be a short in one of the lines, and that could be causing it." The next day the cable repairman arrived and checked the lines in my area, but my service was again working flawlessly even before he arrived. When he left, I turned on the TV and noticed the cable was out. I'm a system administrator for a fairly large company. We were shipping out new desktop PC's to all our branches, but the PC's did not come with installed modems. I installed modems in these machines and configured all the necessary software before I shipped them out. I received a call from one branch manager stating that his modem would not work. I had his try all the standard tests, and it appeared that the modem had become unseated. He called the IS director and asked why I hadn't tested the machine before I sent it. I tried to explain that I did, and the card had become unseated in shipping. The IS director, knowing that I install PCanywhere on all machines so I can troubleshoot from my office, asked, "Can't we use PCanywhere to dial in and fix that?" I had just come across a Compaq 386 Deskpro motherboard. Since I was just getting into PCs, I thought it would be cool to wire it up for my brother. But I had no idea what the pinout for the power supply plug was, as it was non-standard. So I called up Compaq tech support. Me: "I just got an old 386 Deskpro motherboard, and I wondered if I could get a pinout for the power supply plug, so I can power it up and see if it works." "I just got an old 386 Deskpro motherboard, and I wondered if I could get a pinout for the power supply plug, so I can power it up and see if it works." Tech Support: "What happens when you turn it on?" "What happens when you turn it on?" Me: "Ummm...nothing, I don't have a power supply for it. I need a pinout to wire up a standard power supply." "Ummm...nothing, I don't have a power supply for it. I need a pinout to wire up a standard power supply." Tech Support: "I see. Can you get into Windows?" About two years ago I signed up with a local ISP. They gave me some software to install and said it would take up to five days for my account to be activated. I installed the software, but five days later I still couldn't get on. I waited two more days, then called to find out what the problem was. The tech support person said he would check on it and call me back. Four hours later, I still hadn't received a call, so I called again. The same guy answered the phone. I asked if he had figured anything out. He replied that he had not. I told him if he couldn't fix the problem, I wanted to cancel my service. He stammered and told me he really didn't know that much about computers, but he didn't want to lose my business. At this point I completely lost my patience and told him to cancel the account immediately. He told me that to cancel my account I had to send them email from it. I called the TurboTax support number for help with the online filing of my taxes. Here is my dialog with the "tech support" person: Tech Support: "How can I help?" "How can I help?" Me: "I'm having a timeout problem when filing online. The modem dials up ok, but after connecting I get a timeout error." "I'm having a timeout problem when filing online. The modem dials up ok, but after connecting I get a timeout error." Tech Support: "What kind of modem do you have?" "What kind of modem do you have?" Me: "A MultiTech 28.8." "A MultiTech 28.8." Tech Support: (pause) "We only support 9600 baud. What's 28.8?" (pause) "We only support 9600 baud. What's 28.8?" Me: "Twenty-eight point eight K-baud." "Twenty-eight point eight K-baud." Tech Support: "What's K-baud?" While looking into DSL, I came across a number for a large service provider and called to get details. When the tech support person got up to the speed of the connection, she said: Tech Support: "1.54mbit up/down." "1.54mbit up/down." Me: (after some calculations) "Hmmm. That's about 173KB/sec, right?" (after some calculations) "Hmmm. That's about 173KB/sec, right?" Tech Support: (pause; sound of typing) "No, that's 1.54MB/sec." (pause; sound of typing) "No, that's 1.54MB/sec." Me: "No, that's the speed in bits per second. I wondered what it was in bytes per second." "No, that's the speed in bits per second. I wondered what it was in bytes per second." Tech Support: (pause) "No, it's 1.54MB/sec." (pause) "No, it's 1.54MB/sec." Me: "No, 8 bits equals 1 byte--" "No, 8 bits equals 1 byte--" Tech Support: "No, bits and bytes are the same thing!" "No, bits and bytes are the same thing!" Me: "Um, that's not true. That's why a 56K modem is a 56kbit modem that usually gets 5 KB/sec transfer rates." "Um, that's not true. That's why a 56K modem is a 56kbit modem that usually gets 5 KB/sec transfer rates." Tech Support: "Well that's because people take out the dot when they say it. It's actually 5.6kbit or 5.6kbyte. The .6kbyte is just lost in the connection." As a networking consultant called in to a new client, one of the things I like to do is go over their bills to make sure they are getting what they are paying for from ISPs, telcos, etc. On one occasion, I discovered that a client was paying an ISP for 20 email mailboxes that they hadn't used in years. I called the ISP's customer support to cancel the mailboxes. Me: "Yes, I notice I'm paying $100/month for 20 email boxes I'm not using. I'd like to cancel them all." "Yes, I notice I'm paying $100/month for 20 email boxes I'm not using. I'd like to cancel them all." Tech Support: (after verifying our account information and getting the details of the account displayed) "No problem, sir. What I'd like you to do is fax me a list of all the boxes you'd like to cancel, and I'll do it this afternoon." (after verifying our account information and getting the details of the account displayed) "No problem, sir. What I'd like you to do is fax me a list of all the boxes you'd like to cancel, and I'll do it this afternoon." Me: "Well, I can't really do that, because I don't have a list of these email names. I just have a bill. We haven't used these names in probably two years. Just cancel them all." "Well, I can't really do that, because I don't have a list of these email names. I just have a bill. We haven't used these names in probably two years. Just cancel them all." Tech Support: "It's all right, sir. I have them here. I'll read them to you." She proceeded to read me names, and like an idiot I jotted them down until it dawned on me what we were doing. Me: "Hold on. You're going to read me all 20 names?" "Hold on. You're going to read me all 20 names?" Tech Support: "Yes." "Yes." Me: "So I can write them down and fax them back to you??" "So I can write them down and fax them back to you??" Tech Support: "That is our policy, sir." "That is our policy, sir." Me: "Am I the only one who thinks this is absurd?" My husband and I helped our church get online. We installed a new modem, checked everything out and then after doing some research on local ISPs we chose a reputable one that would give the church a good deal. Netscape came with the modem's communications software, but it was an old version. After getting everything going we started to download Netscape's upgrade. The ISP kept hanging up ten minutes after starting the download. We checked all the settings. Everything checked out fine, but we were still experiencing the problem. It would even disconnect while downloading email. I asked the church's secretary to call the ISP's tech support number the following morning. The next morning she called me back and reported that the ISP tech support person had told her she needed to reformat her computer and reinstall Windows. I called the tech support person myself. Me: "I can't believe you told her that! You told her that? That's preposperous! This is not a software problem, this is a problem with the ISP. What does this have to do with email downloads and getting disconnected?" "I can't believe you told her that! You told her that? That's preposperous! This is not a software problem, this is a problem with the ISP. What does this have to do with email downloads and getting disconnected?" Tech Support: "Look, this is a common problem. I can't even download email without it disconnecting. It is like that with all ISPs. This is what we tell all our customers who have this problem. You see, SMTP stands for--" "Look, this is a common problem. I can't even download email without it disconnecting. It is like that with all ISPs. This is what we tell all our customers who have this problem. You see, SMTP stands for--" Me: "I don't think you have any idea what you are talking about. I am with Netcom, and this has never happened to me." I was getting several "illegal operation" errors on a new Windows 95 machine I was trying out. So I called tech support. Customer: "I want to buy this computer, but I'm a little concerned that I'm getting so many error messages. Is that common with this machine?" "I want to buy this computer, but I'm a little concerned that I'm getting so many error messages. Is that common with this machine?" Tech Support: "Well, we have to reformat the hard disk and reinstall the software every day. That's normal." "Well, we have to reformat the hard disk and reinstall the software every day. That's normal." Customer: "Wait, wait, wait. You're saying that I will have to reinstall Windows every single time I use the computer?!?" "Wait, wait, wait. You're saying that I will have to reinstall Windows every single time I use the computer?!?" Tech Support: "When it has errors, ma'am, that's the only way to get rid of them." Needless to say, I purchased my computer elsewhere, from a store and salesmen that had a clue. I had a problem with my computer. Out of the clear blue, the sound card disappeared from my hardware settings. After trying to get Windows 95 to re-install it, I gave up -- Win95 consistently told me that the card was a Soundblaster, and I knew it wasn't. But I didn't know what kind it was, and the manuals that came with the computer didn't say. I called tech support, and they asked me what had been installed on the system since I bought it. "Microsoft Office, and Plus" I said. They told me that was the problem. They told me I wasn't ever supposed to install anything on the machine except for what came with it originally. Then they told me to reformat my hard drive and re-install everything from the setup CD. I asked to speak with this guy's supervisor, and he told me the same thing. In the 1980s, I did not know what fdisk was or how to use it, so I called tech support and left a message on their answering machine. I spoke very clearly and left the message: "My hard drive crashed, and I've been told that I need to do a low-level format before I can restore from my tape backup. How do I low-level format my hard drive?" The next day, our receptionist handed me this message from the tech support team: "Put the floppy diskette in the drive and type format a: and hit enter." This weekend, my father brought over his new laptop, purchased at a major retailer. It was taking 4-5 minutes to boot into the OS. It was discovered that there were several utilities loading during startup, some of them multiple times. Not wanting to void the support warranty, we called tech support. After my father related the problem, they talked him through removal and unchecking of many of the options. A reboot then took about 2.5 minutes, still quite a long time. When he asked what else could be done, he was told, "Just reboot a few more times. It should get faster as it works in." We just sat there with our mouths open. I was working as a student placement at a rather large company last year. One of our backup tape drives was acting up, and nothing I could do fixed it. So I phoned support. The first thing the guy asked, after half an hour of detail-taking, was: Tech Support: "Do you use clean tapes in the drive every time?" "Do you use clean tapes in the drive every time?" Customer: "No." "No." Tech Support: "Well, that'll be your problem. Use a new tape every time, and that'll fix it." I was rather skeptical about this but decided to try it anyway. Of course, it didn't work. So I rang support again and got a different guy. Tech Support: "Do you use clean tapes in the drive every time?" "Do you use clean tapes in the drive every time?" Customer: "Yes!" (enthusiastically) "Yes!" (enthusiastically) Tech Support: "Oh, well, that'll be your problem then. Every new tape that's used clogs up the drive." I bought a laptop with a DVD drive and S-video output, thinking to use it, among other things, to play DVDs on my TV. The S-video output worked fine until I tried to play DVDs, when it switched back to the laptop's monitor. So I called tech support. Tech Support: "It's not supposed to work, because the resolution would degrade too much." "It's not supposed to work, because the resolution would degrade too much." Customer: "But this is DVD; they're designed for TV sets." "But this is DVD; they're designed for TV sets." Tech Support: "No. You see, it looks really great on your computer monitor, but the TV doesn't have as good resolution." "No. You see, it looks really great on your computer monitor, but the TV doesn't have as good resolution." Customer: "But DVDs aren't SUPPOSED to use all that resolution. They're supposed to be shown on TV sets. Anyway, do you have a solution for me?" "But DVDs aren't SUPPOSED to use all that resolution. They're supposed to be shown on TV sets. Anyway, do you have a solution for me?" Tech Support: "Well, if you'd get an HDTV, it would work fine!" As it turns out, he was right about one thing -- it wasn't supposed to work. Buried in the documentation of the MPEG decoder is a line that the card didn't support interlaced displays. The company is now dead, so I can mention this one by name: Tech Support: (an elderly sounding woman) "Hello, Commodore customer service. May I help you?" (an elderly sounding woman) "Hello, Commodore customer service. May I help you?" Customer: "Yes, I'm trying to find the file format for Deluxe Music Construction Set." "Yes, I'm trying to find the file format for Deluxe Music Construction Set." Tech Support: "You want to format a disk? Lemme see..." (paper rustles) "You want to format a disk? Lemme see..." (paper rustles) Customer: "No. I'm looking for documentation on the file format for DMCS." "No. I'm looking for documentation on the file format for DMCS." Tech Support: "Oh, yes. I've got documentation here." (paper rustles) "Ok, to format a disk, first you--" "Oh, yes. I've got documentation here." (paper rustles) "Ok, to format a disk, first you--" Customer: "No, no...I'm looking for the file format for--" "No, no...I'm looking for the file format for--" Tech Support: "You want to format a file? I umm..." (paper rustles again) "You want to format a file? I umm..." (paper rustles again) Customer: "NO... I DO NOT WANT TO FORMAT A FILE!" "NO... I DO NOT WANT TO FORMAT A FILE!" Tech Support: "Ok, well, to format a disk, you--" "Ok, well, to format a disk, you--" Customer: "NO! I don't want to format a disk. I'm a programmer. I'm trying to find some documentation on--" "NO! I don't want to format a disk. I'm a programmer. I'm trying to find some documentation on--" Tech Support: "We have documentation." "We have documentation." Customer: "Yes, I understand. But I'm looking for specific documentation on software that I bought through Commodore. I'm looking for documentation on the file format for Deluxe Music Construction Set--" "Yes, I understand. But I'm looking for specific documentation on software that I bought through Commodore. I'm looking for documentation on the file format for Deluxe Music Construction Set--" Tech Support: (paper rustles) "You want to format a file?" (paper rustles) "You want to format a file?" Customer: "No, I-- Is there someone else there I can talk to?" "No, I-- Is there someone else there I can talk to?" Tech Support: "No. No one here but me." I tried in vain for other contact numbers or the vendor of the software (contact information for that software was conspicuously missing in my software and documentation). Some hours later I called the same number above and got someone who gave me decent information. He had no clue what woman I talked to earlier. Could have been janitorial staff for all I knew. I was troubleshooting a powerbook for a user, which had been flaky all of its short life, when it refused to boot and I could smell something smoldering. Clearly there was a short-circuit somewhere, probably in the power supply. I called Apple to get it repaired under the warranty. Me: "Hi, I have a problem with a powerbook. It has developed a short circuit, probably in the power supply. I need an RMA number so I can send it back; it's still under warranty. "Hi, I have a problem with a powerbook. It has developed a short circuit, probably in the power supply. I need an RMA number so I can send it back; it's still under warranty. Tech Support: "Please describe the symptoms." "Please describe the symptoms." Me: "Um, there is a short circuit somewhere. I'd guess it's a bad power supply. I can smell smoldering when I try to power it on, and it won't boot, and the screen is just a pattern of lines. "Um, there is a short circuit somewhere. I'd guess it's a bad power supply. I can smell smoldering when I try to power it on, and it won't boot, and the screen is just a pattern of lines. Tech Support: "Ok, let's try troubleshooting this." "Ok, let's try troubleshooting this." Me: "There's nothing to troubleshoot. I need an RMA number so I can send it back under warranty. "There's nothing to troubleshoot. I need an RMA number so I can send it back under warranty. Tech Support: "Well, you just described three problems to me. We'll tackle each one and see how many we can fix." "Well, you just described three problems to me. We'll tackle each one and see how many we can fix." Me: (frustrated) "There's only one problem, a short circuit in the power supply. Something's burning inside the case; I can smell it when I power it on." (frustrated) "There's only one problem, a short circuit in the power supply. Something's burning inside the case; I can smell it when I power it on." Tech Support: (as to a child) "You said that you smell smoke, that it won't boot, and that there are funny lines on the screen. We'll tackle each of these one at a time. Now, let's start the troubleshooting and see if we can get it to boot." At this point, I mumbled something about the phone not being near the computer and hung up. The punch line is that, after the thing was shipped to Apple (twice), it got stolen from the shipping agent's truck, and we got a brand new model. I had just bought a new laser printer in the US when I received a very good job offer for the summer in Europe. So I called the printer manufacturer's help desk to find out if I could use the printer in Europe with 220 volts, or if they had a low cost transformer. Me: "Hello, I have just bought your new (printer model), and I was wondering if I can use it in Europe with 220 volts?" "Hello, I have just bought your new (printer model), and I was wondering if I can use it in Europe with 220 volts?" Tech Support: "Hmmm...let me see.... Here, ok, it says that the printer works with 120 volts, so 220 volts should be enough." "Hmmm...let me see.... Here, ok, it says that the printer works with 120 volts, so 220 volts should be enough." Me: "What?! If it is made only for 120 volts, and I hook it up to 220 volts, it's going to fry." "What?! If it is made only for 120 volts, and I hook it up to 220 volts, it's going to fry." Tech Support: "Hmmm. You may need a surge protector." Around 2001, our family got a new desktop computer from a popular computer company. We also got an inkjet printer in a sort of bundle deal. After a few weeks of flawless operation, the printer ceased working and made an odd clicking sound whenever a document was sent to it. We called customer support for help. The customer support associate went through an idiotic troubleshooting checklist ("Is the printer plugged into the wall?" and so forth) and then had us check the device manager and reinstall the printer drivers. I told him it did not appear to be a software problem, because the printer was making odd noises, which indicated a mechanical failure of some kind. After an hour long session of troubleshooting, we were advised to box up the computer and printer and send it to their repair center. Yes, not just the printer but the computer as well. They asked if we had any files on the hard drive that we'd like to save. We told them which files and folders to save for us. Finally we got the computer back and a new printer. The computer had been wiped and the operating system reinstalled, and we got our data files on a CD. The problem? A cheeto had fallen into the printer and jammed it. They sent the cheeto back in a small plastic bag. The printer was covered by the warranty, but the CD backup was not, so they charged us $100 for it. I'm an American living in Switzerland. I prefer English software, and the easiest way to get it is to buy directly from the United States. So, we've recently purchased software from [a company] in the States. It had a few problems, so I called the international support line, and please note the word 'international'. After 45 minutes of listening to bad music at peak international phone rates, someone came on the line. It's a known problem, he said, and he'd send an update right out -- he'd just need my address. He asked for my street. He asked for my city. He asked for my state. Oops, I'm in Switzerland, and the 'state' field doesn't apply. The tech is very apologetic, but his software won't let him leave the field blank. Ok, I said, I'm from Texas, so just put Texas in there. Amazingly, the software accepts my four digit zip code. But he never asked me for my country, so I double checked. No, there was no place for him to enter a country. So he wrote my address down and said he'd sort it out later. Weeks later, the update still hadn't arrived. I called back, waiting "only" twenty minutes this time. They checked, found my order, and told me it had been sent to Canada and been returned as undeliverable. I corrected the mistake, and the update arrived a few days later in spite of the fact that it was addressed to "Swaziland." I have no idea if this company ever updated their software so the international help line could support international addresses. Me: "Does your Internet provider support multicasting?" "Does your Internet provider support multicasting?" Tech Support: "Yes. Just download it onto your PC and it'll work fine." Customer: "I seem to have lost my IP address can you tell me what it is?" "I seem to have lost my IP address can you tell me what it is?" Tech Support: "Just a minute, I'll check." (pause) "You're using Win95 aren't you? It's a bit complicated. Click on Start." "Just a minute, I'll check." (pause) "You're using Win95 aren't you? It's a bit complicated. Click on Start." Customer: "Ok, I don't need to do that--" "Ok, I don't need to do that--" Tech Support: "Please do it my way, click on Start." "Please do it my way, click on Start." Customer: "Ok." "Ok." Tech Support: "Now click on Settings...Control Panel...Networks...TCP/IP...and now on Protocols, and there you are." "Now click on Settings...Control Panel...Networks...TCP/IP...and now on Protocols, and there you are." Customer: "Yes, that's where I was when I called you." "Yes, that's where I was when I called you." Tech Support: "Well why call me? That's where your IP address is, right in front of you." "Well why call me? That's where your IP address is, right in front of you." Customer: "Well, that's where it should be, but mine's all blank." "Well, that's where it should be, but mine's all blank." Tech Support: "Well, what do you want me to do?" "Well, what do you want me to do?" Customer: "Can you tell me what it is?" "Can you tell me what it is?" Tech Support: "Of course, just a second...why didn't you ask me that in the first place?" Customer: "I can't seem to connect. Is there a problem on your end?" "I can't seem to connect. Is there a problem on your end?" Tech Support: "No. Let's check a few things." "We" check. Tech Support: "Ok, looks like you'll have to re-install your net software. Do you still have the disks we sent you?" "Ok, looks like you'll have to re-install your net software. Do you still have the disks we sent you?" Customer: "I've been using you guys as an ISP fully a year before you had handy install disks for common software." "I've been using you guys as an ISP fully a year before you had handy install disks for common software." Tech Support: (pause -- he clearly doesn't comprehend how that's even possible) "Well, then you'll have to re-install Windows." (pause -- he clearly doesn't comprehend how that's even possible) "Well, then you'll have to re-install Windows." Customer: "I don't think so. Can I talk to someone else?" "I don't think so. Can I talk to someone else?" Tech Support: "Um...just a sec." (several minute pause) "You there?" "Um...just a sec." (several minute pause) "You there?" Customer: "Yes." "Yes." Tech Support: "We're down in your area." "We're down in your area." Customer: (dryly) "Thank you very much." One of our clients, an ISP, gave us a free account to use to test their service and help us write the documentation and marketing copy for them. I set the system up, logged on, and handed it over to my assistant. After about thirty minutes I passed by and noticed they were on the phone to the technical support line, reporting a problem with the connection. I checked what the problem was with my assistant who told me that the web site they were supposed to connect to wasn't answering. I checked -- sure enough the connection just timed out with the usual 'Unable to connect to server' error. I tried a ping to the server and got no response, then decided to speak to the tech support person myself. He was convinced the problem was with our dial-up connection, but as soon as I got on the phone I suggested the server was down and asked if he could check it with someone. He refused and we spent the next forty minutes trying various things on our machine to get the connection working. Finally I stopped him: Me: "Look, I'm a technical consultant who tells other ISP's how to set up their services. I was a founder member of the largest ISP in the UK, I think I know the difference between your server being down and a probem with my machine." "Look, I'm a technical consultant who tells other ISP's how to set up their services. I was a founder member of the largest ISP in the UK, I think I know the difference between your server being down and a probem with my machine." Tech Support: "I've set up two ISPs myself, I know what I'm doing, sir." "I've set up two ISPs myself, I know what I'm doing, sir." Me: "You may well have set two ISPs up, but your server is currently down. Can I speak to your supervisor? I don't have time to waste checking things I know aren't wrong." "You may well have set two ISPs up, but your server is currently down. Can I speak to your supervisor? I don't have time to waste checking things I know aren't wrong." Tech Support: "Hang on a second -- I'll just check something." (pause) "It looks like our server is down." "Hang on a second -- I'll just check something." (pause) "It looks like our server is down." Me: "I told you that 45 minutes ago. Why didn't you check that when I first asked -- we could have both saved ourselves a heck of a lot of time." "I told you that 45 minutes ago. Why didn't you check that when I first asked -- we could have both saved ourselves a heck of a lot of time." Tech Support: "Well, we have to go through this procedure of checking the caller's machine." Me: "I'm having problems connecting to sites outside the University." "I'm having problems connecting to sites outside the University." Tech Support: "What operating system are you using?" "What operating system are you using?" Me: "The latest version of Linux." "The latest version of Linux." Tech Support: "What programs are you currently running?" "What programs are you currently running?" Me: "Nothing much -- ftp, telnet, X, Netscape, sendmail..." "Nothing much -- ftp, telnet, X, Netscape, sendmail..." Tech Support: "It's not our fault you can't connect anywhere if you're running sendmail. You have to get mail centrally." "It's not our fault you can't connect anywhere if you're running sendmail. You have to get mail centrally." Me: "But sendmail has nothing to do with ftp access, web access, or anything else." "But sendmail has nothing to do with ftp access, web access, or anything else." Tech Support: "It's not our problem." Three months later, it was announced on the University web site that there was an "untraced fault" on the network, and everyone had to reduce the MTU on their computers to 1498. A few talks with various technicians revealed that this had been known and repeatedly reported by a great many people, who had received just as unfriendly a response as I had, over those 3 months. The official story was that the technicians were waiting to see if the problem would clear up on its own. It took another six months of complaints before they finally got someone in to fix the router. I recently signed up for a 640kbps ADSL line with a borrowed router. We have four computers in our household, with a perfectly working LAN. But after trying to set up the ADSL settings, there was still no connection to the Internet. I thought it was an ISP problem, so I phoned to the tech support. I explained the problem, and... Me: "...If I ping any computer everything works fin--" "...If I ping any computer everything works fin--" Tech Support: "You what?" "You what?" Me: "If I ping any comp--" "If I ping any comp--" Tech Support: "No, I didn't get what you did. Ping, right?" "No, I didn't get what you did. Ping, right?" Me: "Yes, ping. You know, when you write 'ping' and an IP address to see if the network is working." "Yes, ping. You know, when you write 'ping' and an IP address to see if the network is working." Tech Support: "Write where?" "Write where?" Me: "At a command prompt." "At a command prompt." Tech Support: "It is better for you to upgrade to Windows XP. DOS is outdated." "It is better for you to upgrade to Windows XP. DOS is outdated." Me: "I run Windows 2000. Go to Start, Programs, Accessories, and you'll see a Command Prompt icon. That's where I type 'ping'." "I run Windows 2000. Go to Start, Programs, Accessories, and you'll see a Command Prompt icon. That's where I type 'ping'." Tech Support: "Oooooooooooh, I see, I see. Now I remember. Maybe the LAN isn't working." "Oooooooooooh, I see, I see. Now I remember. Maybe the LAN isn't working." Me: "No, I told you, the LAN was set up well before the ADSL contract and is perfectly fine." "No, I told you, the LAN was set up well before the ADSL contract and is perfectly fine." Tech Support: "Mhm. Go to Start, Programs, Accessories, and you'll see a Command Prompt icon. You'll get a black window. Write p-i-n-g-space-[an IP address]." "Mhm. Go to Start, Programs, Accessories, and you'll see a Command Prompt icon. You'll get a black window. Write p-i-n-g-space-[an IP address]." Me: "..." "..." Tech Support: "Sir?" "Sir?" Me: "Done. All packets lost." "Done. All packets lost." Tech Support: "You have a LAN, don't you? Try to ping your PCs and the router. To do so, go to Start, Progr--" "You have a LAN, don't you? Try to ping your PCs and the router. To do so, go to Start, Progr--" Me: "I know." And so on, for almost an hour. The problem never got solved. Later I swapped out the router, and it worked. So I called back to see if I could have a replacement router. Tech Support: "So, you tried to exchange the router with a new one and it worked?" "So, you tried to exchange the router with a new one and it worked?" Me: "Yes, it could be defective." "Yes, it could be defective." Tech Support: "Yes, it could. Which brand of router did you have?" "Yes, it could. Which brand of router did you have?" Me: "A Cisco one." "A Cisco one." Tech Support: "Ah. Does Cisco make routers?" I hung up, and later I cancelled. I had a problem with using my PPP connection through Linux. The data transfers were really slow sometimes but fine at others. I played with it for a while, then finally called the help desk. I was on hold for twenty minutes, then: Tech Support: "Hi. How can I help you?" "Hi. How can I help you?" Me: "Hi. I'm trying to hook up my Linux box via PPP, and I'm running into some problems. It works fine under 95, but I can't seem to get it to connect right under Linux. I can resolve hostnames and even --" "Hi. I'm trying to hook up my Linux box via PPP, and I'm running into some problems. It works fine under 95, but I can't seem to get it to connect right under Linux. I can resolve hostnames and even --" Tech Support: "Um, sir -- what kind of computer is it?" "Um, sir -- what kind of computer is it?" Me: "IBM compatible. Specifically, an Ambra." "IBM compatible. Specifically, an Ambra." Tech Support: "Ok -- what happens when you try running Trumpet Winsock?" I slap my forehead. Me: "This is Linux. It doesn't run Trumpet Winsock." "This is Linux. It doesn't run Trumpet Winsock." Tech Support: "Oh - it's a DOS program?" "Oh - it's a DOS program?" Me: "No. It's an operating system. Trumpet runs fine under 95." "No. It's an operating system. Trumpet runs fine under 95." Tech Support: "Well, have you tried running this program under Windows 95 then?" "Well, have you tried running this program under Windows 95 then?" Me: "No, it is an operating system. It doesn't run under another operating system." "No, it is an operating system. It doesn't run under another operating system." Tech Support: "Oh. Ok, so what happens when you try to run Winsock under it?" Murderous thoughts are going through my head. After a couple more exchanges back and forth, she finally understands that Winsock won't run on Linux for some weird reason. Me: "So can I get an incident number so I can talk to a tech?" "So can I get an incident number so I can talk to a tech?" Tech Support: "Sure. I just need to get some info from you." She gets down my name, room number, phone number, computer type and brand, then we get interesting again. Tech Support: "Ok, so is this under Windows 3.1 or Windows 95?" "Ok, so is this under Windows 3.1 or Windows 95?" Me: "Neither. It's Linux." "Neither. It's Linux." Tech Support: "Which type of Windows does it run under though?" "Which type of Windows does it run under though?" Me: "Neither! It runs on its own!" "Neither! It runs on its own!" Tech Support: "Oh!!! Oh! I'm sorry, in that case we can't help you. We only support Windows 3.1 and Windows 95." "Oh!!! Oh! I'm sorry, in that case we can't help you. We only support Windows 3.1 and Windows 95." Me: "WHAT?!?" "WHAT?!?" Tech Support: "Sorry. That's all we're currently supporting. Have a nice day." [click] Me: "The ethernet card you supplied doesn't work under Linux." "The ethernet card you supplied doesn't work under Linux." Tech Support: "Have you installed the DOS drivers?" "Have you installed the DOS drivers?" Me: "I'm using Linux, so the DOS drivers won't work." "I'm using Linux, so the DOS drivers won't work." Tech Support: "Why not?" I was a manager in an IT department who had a network of around 100 point-of-sale (POS) computers spread all over Australia. One of our shops, about 2000 miles away, called with a problem. The motherboard appeared to be broken. I called one of our technicians who was in the area and asked him to go over and swap out the hard drive from the machine with the broken motherboard into a machine that was in the store room which I figured was working fine -- that way the shop wouldn't lose any of its data. The technician called me later and said he couldn't figure out how to get the hard drive out of the machine. To understand what he was looking at, I dismantled a spare machine I had. Thankfully IBM made the machines easy to service -- lots of diagrams and instructions on the inside of the case. You just had to get into it first. The hard drive was mounted on a tray which was designed to slide out smoothly once a retaining clip had been pressed. Then it would be easy to unplug the drive and slide a new one in. No matter how much I described, cajoled, and threatened the technician, he could not figure out how to get the hard drive out. He finally got sick of it, got in his car and drove away, leaving the shop with frustrated customers. I called the technician's manager and explained the situation. But he wasn't too interested either, saying we'd have to get IBM to come and fix it (at a huge cost, as you can imagine). I called the shop back to explain what was going on and that they'd be down for a while. But the elderly lady in the shop said, "It's ok, dear. I watched what the technician was doing, and it didn't look that complicated. He left some of his tools behind, so I pulled the machines apart, swapped the disks, and all I need to know now is how to get the cases back on." I lead her through how to re-fit the case, and she was off and running. This is an actual conversation I overheard in the cube next to me. I only heard one side of it. He had called the helpdesk to resolve a network problem. "Hello, my name is [name]. My computer no longer communicates on the network. . . . Yes, the network connection is plugged in. . . . Yes, both ends. . . . Ok, I've rebooted the computer. Still nothing. . . . I don't have a 'Start' button. I'm running Windows NT 3.51. . . . Windows NT. . . . NT. . . . Ennnn Teeee. . . . I don't think that will work. . . . Well, ok. I'm pulling down file [long list of instructions]. . . . I don't have that menu choice. . . . Ok, we'll try it again. I pull down file [long list of instructions]. That menu choice doesn't exist. . . . Yes, thank you, I do know how to spell. . . . No, there is no menu choice by that name. . . . I'm sorry, it isn't there. . . . No, I do not have a 'Start' button. . . . No, I am not running Windows 3.11. I am running Windows NT 3.51. . . . Uhhh, no, I don't think they are the same thing. . . . Look, you can keep saying that the choice has to be there, but in fact it is not. I'm running Windows Ennn Teee. It's different from Windows 3.1. . . . No, the choice third from the bottom is [name of option]. . . . I AM NOT LYING TO YOU. . . . Hello? . . . Hello?" My co-worker redials. "Hello help desk? My name is [name]. I called a few minutes ago with a network problem. I'd like the name of the tech assigned to my case. . . . Thank you. Now, could you assign a different person to the case please? . . . Because she's a moron. . . . Yes, I did say moron. . . . Thank you." Customer: "I'm calling to find out if the modem that was bundled with my system has Non-Volatile RAM. It doesn't appear to work, if so." "I'm calling to find out if the modem that was bundled with my system has Non-Volatile RAM. It doesn't appear to work, if so." Tech Support: "Have you run 'MemMaker'?" Tech Support: "Multitasking a Pentium is like stepping on the motherboard with running cleats." I was waiting in a computer store for a price quote once, and while I was waiting I noticed one of the technicians trying to fix a customer's computer. I listen in on the conversation. Tech Support: "You see when I put my mouse over 'Documents'? How it turns yellow?" It was clear the customer had changed the Windows 95 colour scheme from the standard green background and blue and white windows that you see when Windows 95 starts for the first time. He had a new color scheme altogether, a blue background, and when he ran his mouse to highlight something, it turned yellow instead of the original blue. Perfectly normal, I thought; almost every Windows 95 user changes the color scheme. Customer: "Yes, I see that. What about it?" "Yes, I see that. What about it?" Tech Support: "That means you have a virus." Of course, that was it. I wasn't going to buy a system from a store with this incredible tech support, so I left. Lab Technician: "Is that an old disk?" "Is that an old disk?" Friend: "Yeah, it's an old one. I reformatted it." "Yeah, it's an old one. I reformatted it." Lab Technician: (suspiciously) "What was on it before?" (suspiciously) "What was on it before?" Friend: "I had some games on it." "I had some games on it." Lab Technician: "WHAT??? Don't you know that games are FULL of viruses!?" "WHAT??? Don't you know that games are FULL of viruses!?" Friend: "What--?" "What--?" Lab Technician: "Give me the disk right now! I'm going to scan it for viruses." "Give me the disk right now! I'm going to scan it for viruses." Friend: "Look, it's been formatted, so it's blank, and games are not--" "Look, it's been formatted, so it's blank, and games are not--" Lab Technician: "Hand it over right now or I'll throw you out." He was absolutely baffled when he didn't find any viruses on it. I had a friend who gave me a Mitsubishi monitor. The monitor wasn't getting a picture for some reason, so it obviously needed some servicing. I took it to a repairman to see what could be done. Technician : "You mean you get no picture at all when you boot up your computer?" "You mean you get no picture at all when you boot up your computer?" Me: "That's right." "That's right." Technician : "Oh, that's because you have a small hard drive. You have to get a bigger hard drive and then the monitor will work fine." My new ISP was exhibiting extremely slow service. When my wife called to ask if they were having a problem, they told her no, everything was fine and maybe she should defragement the hard drive. I got disconnected from my ISP and was unable to log back onto it -- my modem would connect and everything, but Dial-Up Networking couldn't get past verifying username and password. Nothing had changed in my setup, so I called my ISP's tech support. Me: "I'm calling to report an outage with my dialup number." "I'm calling to report an outage with my dialup number." Tech Support: "Ok, let's check your Dial-Up Networking settings." He didn't bother to check whether I was using Windows or MacOS. Tech Support: "Are there any dashes in the phone number?" "Are there any dashes in the phone number?" Me: "No, but that wouldn't affect how my modem dials." "No, but that wouldn't affect how my modem dials." Tech Support: "Try removing the dashes anyway." "Try removing the dashes anyway." Me: "Ok. I should mention that I have no problem calling the number and connecting to a modem -- I connect at a full 49,333 each time. I just can't get past the verifying the username and password step. Is it possible that network maintenance is being done right now?" "Ok. I should mention that I have no problem calling the number and connecting to a modem -- I connect at a full 49,333 each time. I just can't get past the verifying the username and password step. Is it possible that network maintenance is being done right now?" Tech Support: "What state are you calling in, sir?" "What state are you calling in, sir?" Me: "California." "California." Tech Support: "One second, let me check. . . . No, don't see anything at all in California. You double checked your username and password, right?" "One second, let me check. . . . No, don't see anything at all in California. You double checked your username and password, right?" Me: "Yep. Nothing has changed in my setup. This was working just ten minutes ago." "Yep. Nothing has changed in my setup. This was working just ten minutes ago." Tech Support: "Have you tried any other dialup numbers?" "Have you tried any other dialup numbers?" Me: "Yes. I tried the one in [city], which is a toll call for me. That one doesn't work either." "Yes. I tried the one in [city], which is a toll call for me. That one doesn't work either." Tech Support: "Ok. Try adding three commas after your dialup number." Adding a comma in a modem dial string causes the modem to pause in its dialing for three seconds. This guy wanted me to add nine seconds of pause after the number had been dialed. Me: "Um...what good would that do?" "Um...what good would that do?" Tech Support: "I dunno. I just notice that it always seems to help when I get busy signals." "I dunno. I just notice that it always seems to help when I get busy signals." Me: "But I'm not getting a busy signal! Like I said, I can connect just fine, physically. I just can't get logged on." "But I'm not getting a busy signal! Like I said, I can connect just fine, physically. I just can't get logged on." Tech Support: "Try the commas. I'm sure they'll help. Give it about fifteen minutes or so, and if you're still not able to connect, call us back." "Try the commas. I'm sure they'll help. Give it about fifteen minutes or so, and if you're still not able to connect, call us back." Me: "Sir, I'm an experienced computer tech. I know that adding commas to my dialup number isn't going to change whether or not the authentication servers and routers are working. If anything, it's going to cause the modem on the other end to hang up before mine tries to connect to it." "Sir, I'm an experienced computer tech. I know that adding commas to my dialup number isn't going to change whether or not the authentication servers and routers are working. If anything, it's going to cause the modem on the other end to hang up before mine tries to connect to it." Tech Support: "Ok, what's the dialup number you're calling, sir?" "Ok, what's the dialup number you're calling, sir?" Me: "[number]" "[number]" Tech Support: "Ok, lemme put you on hold for just a moment." (elevator music pause) "Sir, I just tried that dialup number, and it sounds all weird. Didn't sound like a modem." "Ok, lemme put you on hold for just a moment." (elevator music pause) "Sir, I just tried that dialup number, and it sounds all weird. Didn't sound like a modem." Me: "Huh. Sounds just fine on my end when I connect to it." "Huh. Sounds just fine on my end when I connect to it." Tech Support: "Well, I just called it, and it was giving off all sorts of weird tones and stuff. I can write this up as an incident report for you if you want." "Well, I just called it, and it was giving off all sorts of weird tones and stuff. I can write this up as an incident report for you if you want." Me: "How'd you try to connect to it?" "How'd you try to connect to it?" Tech Support: "I just called it." "I just called it." Me: "What kind of modem?" "What kind of modem?" Tech Support: "No, I just called it." "No, I just called it." Me: "Did it sound kinda like a fax?" "Did it sound kinda like a fax?" Tech Support: "Sort of." "Sort of." Me: "Then there's nothing wrong with the dialup number itself. That's a V90 train sequence starting up there. Those little tones you're hearing are the modem trying to determine if you're a compatible V90 modem on the other end." "Then there's nothing wrong with the dialup number itself. That's a V90 train sequence starting up there. Those little tones you're hearing are the modem trying to determine if you're a compatible V90 modem on the other end." Tech Support: "Oh." "Oh." Me: "Look, I know exactly what's wrong, and what needs to be done to fix it. What's happening is that your routers in my area are down. Your technicians need to be made aware of it. If you could just let them know about it, I'm sure they'll be able to fix it real soon, if they haven't already." "Look, I know exactly what's wrong, and what needs to be done to fix it. What's happening is that your routers in my area are down. Your technicians need to be made aware of it. If you could just let them know about it, I'm sure they'll be able to fix it real soon, if they haven't already." Tech Support: "Well, why don't you give it about 15 to 20 minutes, and if it's not working by then, give us a call back and we'll see what we can do for you." "Well, why don't you give it about 15 to 20 minutes, and if it's not working by then, give us a call back and we'll see what we can do for you." Me: "All right. Thanks for your time." "All right. Thanks for your time." Tech Support: "Have a good evening, sir." (click) About fifteen minutes later, I was about ready to call them back, but then I actually managed to log on again. Unbelievable. I originally bought a certain brand of computer that supposedly came with a video card that had 2 megs of memory. After a while, noting that the screen graphics were moving very slowly, I went into the Windows 95 Control Panel to take a look. Video memory: 1 meg. So I checked with a diagnostic program. Video memory: 1 meg. I called the tech support people about this. Tech Support: "Oh, the Control Panel just tells you how much video memory you are using right now, you really do have 2 megs in there." Pardon me, but if my Windows 95 desktop takes up 1 meg of video memory just sitting there, we have a problem. Tech Support: "Well, you need to go out and buy [a brand name diagnostic problem] and check the video memory, because that is the only one I know how to use. Don't worry, it'll tell you you have 2 megs of video memory." Um, I need to buy a $50 piece of software so that I can tell you something I already know? Tech Support: "Well, this particular motherboard/chip/etc is registered with the FCC, and I have the specs right here! It has 2 megs of video memory!" "Well, this particular motherboard/chip/etc is registered with the FCC, and I have the specs right here! It has 2 megs of video memory!" Customer: "Maybe the specs say so, but my computer doesn't." "Maybe the specs say so, but my computer doesn't." Tech Support: "Well, you can just ask the FCC if you need to! Your computer is [a certain type], and that type has 2 megs of video memory -- so your computer does too." "Well, you can just ask the FCC if you need to! Your computer is [a certain type], and that type has 2 megs of video memory -- so your computer does too." Customer: "It is still under warranty. Can I have someone take a look at it and check to see if something is wrong? It only has 1 meg of video memory." "It is still under warranty. Can I have someone take a look at it and check to see if something is wrong? It only has 1 meg of video memory." Tech Support: "No, it has 2!" He couldn't seem to grasp the difference between a written set of specifications and a material object -- namely, my computer. Tech Support: "Here, I'll have my supervisor come and read you the specifications for your computer!" "Here, I'll have my supervisor come and read you the specifications for your computer!" Customer: "Um, I have the specs right here. And yes, this computer should have 2 megs of video memory. But it doesn't, and that is why I'm on the phone with you!" I finally managed to get the guy to give me the number of the local computer tech so I could take it in. The computer tech looked at it, said, "Hmm. It only has a 1 meg video card in it," traded it out, and I got my computer back. The scariest thing about that call was what I left out. There were about four other things wrong with the computer at the same time -- and each garnered about the same level of response. I overheard a conversation between the assistant manager of a PC repair place and a customer. Manager: "Ok, you've got a new video card in there. The bad news is that your old card was an AGP, and the new one is PCI and eight megabytes. That means that it'll steal eight megabytes of your system memory." "Ok, you've got a new video card in there. The bad news is that your old card was an AGP, and the new one is PCI and eight megabytes. That means that it'll steal eight megabytes of your system memory." Customer: "Oh, my..." "Oh, my..." Me: "Ahh...pardon me? No it won't. That figure of eight megabytes refers to the amount of video memory on the video board itself. It has nothing to do with system memory, and it won't steal anything from it." "Ahh...pardon me? No it won't. That figure of eight megabytes refers to the amount of video memory on the video board itself. It has nothing to do with system memory, and it won't steal anything from it." Customer: "Oh, thank you! That's what I was looking for, a little expertise." "Oh, thank you! That's what I was looking for, a little expertise." Manager: "Are you sure? Even with PCI?" The following is a three-way conversation between customer support for a company that sells computers, a customer of said company, and a technician that was called in to repair the hard drive of a machine from said company. There's one brain among the three of them, and it's not hard to figure out which one has it. Customer Support: "Customer support center this is Allen." "Customer support center this is Allen." Technician: "Ya, this is the 'CE' from (company). I was called in to fix yer hard drive. I put one in but now it's asking for a reference disk." "Ya, this is the 'CE' from (company). I was called in to fix yer hard drive. I put one in but now it's asking for a reference disk." Customer Support: "All our systems are

Yoga classes 'provoke' prisoners

Yoga originates from India and dates back some 5,000 years High-security Ringerike jail near Oslo offered the classes to eight inmates on a trial basis earlier this year. Prison warden Sigbjoern Hagen said some of the inmates became more irritable and agitated and had trouble sleeping. He said the prison did not have the resources to treat emotions unleashed by the deep breathing exercises. The yoga group expressed surprise at the prison's findings. It said the project had been tested successfully on some 100,000 prisoners in around 15 countries, the AFP news agency reported. "The reactions we received from the prisoners who participated in the classes were very varied, ranging from completely positive to completely negative," Mr Hagen reportedly wrote in a letter to the group. On the negative side, the yoga had provoked "strong reactions: agitation, aggression, irritability, trouble sleeping and mental confusion", he said. The deep breathing exercises are an essential element of Yoga, which originated in India more than 5,000 years ago and aims to harmonise mind, body and spirit. But such exercises could make inmates more dangerous by unblocking their psychological barriers, Mr Hagen was quoted as saying.

Weapons of Mass Destruction

Print this page E-mail this page WorldWatch First appeared in print in The Rhinoceros Times, Greensboro, NC By Orson Scott Card July 24, 2005 Weapons of Mass Destruction A week before the London bombings, I was in England for a US Defense Department-sponsored conference on the future of weapons of mass destruction. It was held in Sussex, as part of the Wilton Park conference series, which is well attended by diplomats and military people from many European and Middle Eastern countries. This time, they also brought along some science fiction writers, in the hope that we would actually know something about the future. (Whether we delivered on that hope is another question. The other guys did great. As for me: I warned them in advance that I wouldn't be much use, but they brought me anyway. Caveat emptor.) The deal was that nothing in the meetings was classified, so we can talk or write freely about the ideas we discussed -- but we can't cite any particular person as the source of anything. So none of the information I'm talking about is a secret, but the sources are. * What Is a "Weapon of Mass Destruction"? Traditionally, we use the term to refer to chemical, biological, and nuclear weapons. But why is this the list? It isn't really about the number of people you can kill with each weapon. After all, if you send up some bombers you can kill a lot more people than if you use poison gas. And if it's sheer awfulness that puts a weapon on that list, I think napalm and flame throwers are every bit as appalling. War kills people and maims many a survivor for life. War kills civilians from time to time, and nations that think of themselves as decent have targeted civilians deliberately and called it a just war. And, just to put things in perspective, four jet airplanes were turned into weapons that killed thousands of people and made a highly symbolic statement on 9/11 four years ago, while just last month a few bombs on subway trains and buses managed to kill a few people and tie up traffic in London for a day. * Here's why the list of WMDs consists of CBN -- chemical, biological, and nuclear: Chemical weapons are on there because they were the first weapon that everybody agreed to ban after World War I. And the ban was more or less successful -- even in World War II, nobody used chemical weapons against each other's armies. (Germany used mustard gas against civilians under its own control, of course, but that wasn't, technically, a violation of the treaty.) True, the U.S. and the USSR both developed potent nerve gases, but they were never used on the battlefield -- again, the only known use was by Iraq against its own civilians. We loathe chemical weapons primarily because we breathe them right in and we can't get away. It's like the last plague in the movie The Ten Commandments. It can seep in and get us unaware. But then, so can a car bomb that goes off in front of our house. (Well, it doesn't seep, but it can kill us in our sleep and there's no defense against it.) Several hundred years ago, the same complaints could have been made about muskets and cannons and grenades. And in its day, the bow and arrow was a vicious, unfair weapon. But nobody was able to ban those weapons. Why? Because they worked. Chemical weapons were successfully banned because they don't work. Not in a way that gives them any military value. First, there's the problem of blowback. It's hard to deliver poison gas against a massed enemy without running the risk of the wind blowing the poison gas back on you. Second, you can only use it effectively once -- then your enemy will have gas masks and the soldiers will use them faithfully, so your gas will stop working. Chemical weapons, then, have little battlefield value. That's why the ban worked. We could also ban chariots, if we wanted to, and everybody would stick to the ban. Biological Weapons are another matter. Potentially, nature can unleash such a weapon against us at any time. Given our vast, packed-in populations and our swift transportation, a plague could sweep through the world in a very short time. And if the modern equivalent of the Black Death were to strike today, killing half of the people it infected or more, the results would be devastating. In fact, the reason the Black Death didn't kill more than it did was quite possibly because people lived in more of a spread-out pattern. Because those with genetic resistance to the disease were far fewer than half the population. We aren't spread out. There's nowhere to hide. And if we were struck by an airborne version of Ebola, killing ninety percent or more, it's likely that our infrastructure would be unsustainable. Civilization could collapse, and the survivors would have to relearn skills we left behind generations ago. But that's a natural disaster that affects all nations more or less equally. As a military matter, biological weapons aren't very useful. You can't make military use of a disease that spreads itself, or you have to immunize your own population first. And how do you stop it from spreading to neutral countries? So the only weaponized biological agents are those that kill only where you want them to. That means you need something like anthrax -- and you need a particular strain of anthrax that your target won't have immunized his soldiers against. Then you have the very difficult problem of delivering it to exactly the spot where you want it to start spreading. This is very hard to do, and the payoff isn't as high as you'd think. For one thing, you have to wait until the enemy gets sick. And while they're busy dealing with the medical emergency, what's to stop them from moving in replacement troops to cover the affected area? Like chemical weapons, the only use of biological agents is for terrorism -- for attacks against an undefended population. The anthrax scare in the fall of 2001 was frightening, yes ... but it didn't kill any of its actual targets, only innocent clerical workers. And look at the numbers. Can we really call it a weapon of mass destruction? A guy with a rifle shooting out of the trunk of his car killed more people and disrupted a region of the country more effectively than those anthrax-filled envelopes. Nukes, though. Those are weapons of mass destruction no matter who sets one off or where -- as long as it's in a place where fallout can spread. And if there are a lot of people living at ground zero ... * Are There Worse Weapons Coming? There are some scary possibilities coming down the pike. Nanotechnology, if it ever actually works, has the possibility of delivering killing power into places that are supposedly immune. Imagine you have a swarm of tiny flying robots that don't show up on any radar. Each one carries about a firecracker's worth of explosives. When they are released from their carrier in the vicinity of a bunker deep underground, they find their way through the ventilation system, cutting holes where filters are designed to keep them out. Then they reassemble, combining their explosive power, and set themselves off simultaneously. Boom. That's a weapon which, if it can ever be built, has a serious military use. It can also be defended against fairly easily (debilitating electrical fields, for instance), if you know it might be coming. And there is a nightmare scenario -- nanobots that can replicate themselves from ambient materials. That is, they can chew up cars or bicycles for their constituent elements and build tiny new robots out of them and program them on the spot. The problem here is like the problem with bioweapons: Once something like that gets unleashed, it simply eats up everything in its path. Sure, you've programmed them to switch off when you give a certain signal -- but all it takes is one self-replicating nanobot with a tiny defect that makes it disobedient to your command, and you've got the Sorcerer's Apprentice. It just keeps duplicating itself until it has used all the available elements and the surface of the earth is just a thick swarm of nanobots. Don't worry. It probably can't be done, and even if it could, who'd be stupid enough to do it? * The Only Real Weapon of Mass Destruction Most of the other technologies we discussed were either improvements in existing weapons concepts, sabotage of infrastructure, too farfetched to worry about (yet), or so destructive they could not be targeted selectively enough to achieve any rational goal. In other words, don't worry about somebody going out into space, finding an asteroid, and redirecting it so it will smash into Earth. Any nation with the means to do that would be among those to suffer most if it happened. So it won't happen. That's why nobody will put up a solar power collector in space that might beam a killing ray down onto the surface without absolute failsafe security. (The obvious security is to have the device powered by a small ricochet beam -- if the beam ever wanders off its collection point on Earth, it will stop receiving power from Earth and will automatically shut off.) There's only one weapon of mass destruction for the foreseeable future that lives up to the name: It can be targeted like a weapon against a specific target, and it will kill huge numbers of people. We're talking about nukes. That's why we've been trying not to allow them to proliferate. The theory of nukes is widely known -- I learned about how to build an atomic bomb in junior high, and how to build a thermonuclear device in high school. But the practical engineering of it isn't quite so easy. 1. You have to get special nuclear fuel -- enriched uranium or its derivatives, and for a fusion bomb, deuterium and tritium as well. 2. You have to find exactly the right solution to many intricate engineering problems; if your solution is off by a little, you'll quite likely have dud. But since it will be a dud that everyone knows dudded, you get all the blame for having tried to set off a nuke without any of the bang for your buck. That's part of the reason why nations test their weapons -- so they'll know they work, and so their enemies will believe you have a working weapon. 3. It takes a very high-level technology to produce the parts needed for every stage of the process, and very few nations have the capability. So you either have to develop the capability yourself, in secret, or acquire the parts you need from countries that can build them -- without anybody knowing. * Is Proliferation Inevitable? Let's please remember that the United States was the first nation to successfully build a nuke, and we used it -- twice. There is a sound ethical case for each of those two uses, but frankly, they both depend on this: Our enemy didn't have a defense against the weapon, and didn't have an equivalent weapon to use against us. So the only rational course of action for any nation that thought of the United States as its enemy was to develop its own nukes and a credible delivery system. Naturally, we would have preferred it if we remained the only nation with nuclear weapons. And we proved our relatively benign nature by the fact that during that brief window when we and only we possessed nukes, we did not use them against the Soviet Union in order to force compliance with our national will. Though perhaps there were a few million Poles and Hungarians and Czechs, not to mention the millions suffering in the Gulag, who might have wished we hadn't been such decent folks. Then the USSR got the bomb, and it was a different game. We protected Europe with our "nuclear umbrella," which was a doctrine that absolutely promised that we would use nuclear weapons first if the USSR ever invaded Germany. The trouble was, Britain and France didn't quite believe we would use our nuclear weapons to protect Europe, when it was sure to bring down a rain of nukes upon our own country. So they developed their own nuclear weapons -- in Britain's case, with our complete cooperation -- in order to make the threat of first use by the West more credible. Soon, though, it came down to the doctrine of Mutually Assured Destruction to keep either side from using nukes at all. Both sides had to believe that the other side would be insane enough to use their nukes; both sides had to try to build a force of nuclear missiles that could ride out a first attack and still have the capacity to respond; and any anti-missile system that could reduce or remove the threat of first use by the other side would mean that the side with the missile defense could use nukes with relative impunity. It was very complicated, but nobody set off a nuke in anger for two generations. The trouble was, the East and the West weren't the only ones with nuclear ambitions. First China felt it needed its own nukes for the very good reason that they didn't think that America would come to their defense if the USSR decided to nuke them. And once China got nukes, India had no choice but to pursue its own nuclear program. After all, Chinese troops had already shown themselves quite willing to cross those passes in the Himalayas (am I the only one who remembers that little Chinese demonstration back in my youth?). People keep saying that China has no ambition to conquer other nations, but to the Indians, Tibet and Taiwan look like obvious warnings. But once India got nukes, what choice did Pakistan have but to develop a nuke in order to keep the Indian military from using their nukes to prevail in the constant struggle between Urdu-speaking Muslims and Hindi-speaking Hindus across that permeable and blood-soaked border? Meanwhile, in another little corner of Asia, Israel may or may not have developed a nuclear weapon. They've never tested one, so officially the U.S. doesn't "know" whether Israel has such a weapon; but at the same time, the rumor that they have one works as a powerful deterrent against those nations that like to talk a lot about wiping Israel off the face of the earth. Of course they have one. Of course it works, tested or not. Even those who like to tell terrible lies about how horrible Jews are absolutely believe that Jews are smart enough to build anything they want to build. And then in 1989 the world changed. The Soviet Union crumbled. And now the Soviet missile fleet was divided among three nations: Russia, Ukraine, and Kazakhstan. Of these, only Ukraine decided to dismantle its nuclear capability. And though there are doubts about how long a shelf life the Kazakhstani nukes might have, we still have to consider them a nuclear power. Now North Korea claims -- without proof, but with considerable credibility -- that it has a working nuke. Nobody wants to bet on its being a dud. And Iran is working on its own weapon, with a high likelihood of success within a few years. The only reason Iraq was not already on the list was a certain raid by the Israeli Air Force a few decades ago. That and the fact that after the Gulf War, Saddam decided that instead of building a nuke, he'd buy one, and nobody had yet sold him one when we toppled him from power. * Is Deterrence Working? Which brings us to the big question about proliferation: So what? The nuclear "club" now has nine proclaimed members, eight of them with proven weapons (all but North Korea), and one stealth member (Israel) which may soon be joined by another (Iran). Yet in all these years, nobody has blown up anybody's city, and any fallout deaths were the result of ignorance about the danger of nuclear testing. Nobody has used a nuke as a weapon since 1945. Well, not really. We in the nuclear club have actually used nukes constantly as weapons -- weapons to deter other nations from taking military actions we don't want them to take. Israel might well owe its continued existence to that nuke is might or might not have. India probably hasn't punished Pakistan for supporting terrorism against them because Pakistan has that nuke. Russia never disciplined China for its disobedience -- partly, at least, because China had a nuke. So nuclear weapons have done one of the jobs that military power is designed to accomplish: prevent the enemy from carrying out its will, because of the fear of effective retaliation. * Deterrence Breakdown The more that nukes spread, the more dangerous they become. The Iranian nuke, for instance, might be regarded as one more in the chain of proliferation from Russia to China to India to Pakistan -- each nation acquiring a nuke solely to deter a known enemy from using theirs. Shi'ite Iran, after all, sits right next to Sunni Pakistan, a nation they have no love for. And it is quite possible that Iran will be just as slow to use nuclear weapons as Pakistan and India and China have been. Isn't our real reason for wanting to stop Iran from getting a nuclear weapon because they are our enemy, actively supporting terrorism? It's not that they would give a nuke to a terrorist group. It's that their having a nuke would keep us from invading them in order to stop them from supporting terrorism. We can imagine a world in equilibrium, sort of, with Iran having a nuclear weapon. Though of course Turkey would need to acquire one next. The real point of breakdown is in North Korea, where there is already a madman running the government. There is no government on earth, with the possible exception of Zimbabwe, that is governed as badly by leaders as insane as those ruling North Korea. And North Korea doesn't need a cause. They have only to decide that it's time to get even with Japan for its crimes against the Korean people and lob a missile onto Tokyo. That would, of course, be the last nuclear weapon North Korea ever fired ... but the maddening thing is that we don't want even that first one to go off. Japan already paid for its crimes by what happened at Hiroshima and Nagasaki. But to the madmen of Korea, it won't count until the nuclear weapon comes from Korean soil, making a Korean statement. And that's one of the most difficult things about dealing with North Korea's nuke: Too many South Koreans regard it, not as the nuclear weapon of the madmen in the north, but as the Korean National Weapon. They trust (though not for any good reason) that Pyongyang would never use their nuke against South Korea. They believe (again, not for any good reason) that soon both Koreas will be united, and then the possession of a nuclear weapon will give prestige and power to all Koreans. So for us to invade North Korea and take away their nukes, even if China agreed to stand back and allow us to do it, would be extremely unpopular in South Korea. And without South Korean backing, exactly where would we launch this "invasion" from? It's a stalemate that only China can break -- and, possessing nukes themselves, they believe (again without any good reason) that they will never be threatened by North Korea's nuke. So why should they save Japan or South Korea? Let us twist in the wind, they say. In other words, we are now living in a world where madmen control nukes and we can't easily stop them from using them without committing the unthinkable act of making an unprovoked nuclear attack against North Korea. No other weapon we possess can reach them without the help of allies and the consent of opponents. And there ain't no way any U.S. government is going to use nukes. So I guess we'd better visit Tokyo soon, or not go at all. Or else we'll trust that nations that possess such terrible power will somehow manage to keep their leaders from using it. Too bad that Saddam in Iraq and Assad in Syria already proved that there is no act so barbaric you can't find people willing to carry it out. The one bright spot in all this is that no nation that possesses nukes is likely to turn them over to terrorists ... knowingly, anyway. Especially to unconditional terrorists like Al-Qaeda, who might very well want to set off a nuke any old where, because they love the idea of civilization coming to a collapse in nuclear chaos. They think it would give God such a lovely chance to show his power. Which brings us to Kazakhstan, with all those old weapons. It's a majority Muslim country. Their security on those nuclear sites is not the best. There might be people in that impoverished country who think that they could make a buck by selling nukes that probably won't work anyway. There are still plenty of genies to be let out of bottles. What is the future of the one real Weapon of Mass Destruction? Nukes will spread. And someone, somewhere, someday, is going to set one off. The real questions are: Are there any steps the U.S. and its few allies might take that could realistically lessen the chance of that happening? And if there are, will we take them? Copyright © 2005 by Orson Scott Card. Your Comments Print This Page E-mail This Page

Israeli gunman kills four on bus

The 19-year-old gunman, believed to have deserted in protest against the Gaza pullout this month, opened fire as the bus passed through Shfaram. Prime Minister Ariel Sharon called the incident a reprehensible act by a "bloodthirsty terrorist". The gunman was beaten to death by a crowd of people who stormed the bus after his weapon ran out of bullets. Israel is preparing to pull its settlers and soldiers out of the Gaza Strip and correspondents say there have been fears of attacks by Jewish settlers opposed to the pullout. 'Deserter' The gunman, Eden Nathan Zaada from the Jewish settlement of Tapuah in the West Bank, wore his army uniform and a skullcap. According to one eyewitness, the soldier opened fire while talking to the bus driver, who is thought to be one of those killed. The 19-year-old is said to have deserted his army unit with his gun At least 12 people were wounded in the shooting, some seriously. Mohammed Barakeh, an Israeli Arab member of parliament, said at the scene that the dead were Israeli Arabs and all residents of Shfaram. Israel media are reporting that the army said Mr Zaada had a "problematic background". He was believed to be a member of the outlawed extremist Kach party. He is said to have deserted his unit a few weeks ago, after refusing to take part in the evacuation of Jewish settlements. The father of the gunman, Yitzhak Nathan Zaada, said he had asked the army to find his son. "I wasn't afraid he would do something," he told the Associated Press news agency, adding that his son had told him he would find the time to return his gun. Protest fear Israel's chief of police has dispatched an extra 2,000 officers and urged all Israelis to remain calm. Moshe Karadi asked people to await an official inquiry into the incident. Mr Sharon condemned the attack. "This terror incident is a deliberate attempt to harm the relations between the citizens of Israel," he said. "Terror between civilians is the most dangerous thing for the future of Israel and its democratic stability," he added. Settler groups have also denounced the violence. "Murder is murder is murder, and there can be no other response but to denounce it completely and express revulsion," Bentsi Lieberman, the head of a settlers' council, told AP. The bloodiest single attack on Palestinians by a Jewish extremist dates back to 1994 when US-born Jewish Baruch Goldstein shot dead 29 Muslims at a mosque in the West Bank city of Hebron.

Oldest known Bible to go online

The Codex is written in ancient Greek A manuscript containing the oldest known Biblical New Testament in the world is set to enter the digital age and become accessible online. A team of experts from the UK, Europe, Egypt and Russia is currently digitising the parchment known as the Codex Sinaiticus, believed originally to have been one of 50 copies of the scriptures commissioned by Roman Emperor Constantine after he converted to Christianity. The Bible, which is currently in the British Library in London, dates from the 4th Century. "It is a very distinctive manuscript. No other manuscript looks like this," Scot McKendrick, the head of the Medieval and Earlier Manuscripts Department in the British Library, told BBC World Service's Reporting Religion programme. "On each very large page, about 14-16 inches (34-37cm) it has a Greek text written in four columns. "That's the really distinct feature of it - layers of text - it's one of the fascinating aspects of it and it shows us how the Biblical text developed over a certain period, how it was interpreted in those crucial early years of Christianity." The digitising project is particularly significant because of the rarity and importance of the manuscript. The original document is so precious that it has only been seen by four scholars in the last 20 years. Constantin von Tischendorf was shown the Codex by a monk The Codex Sinaiticus contains the whole of the Christian Bible; specifically, it has the oldest complete copy of the New Testament, as well as the Greek Old Testament, known as the Septuagint, which includes books now regarded as apocrypha. It is named after the place it was written, the monastery of Saint Catherine in Sinai, Egypt, set beneath the mountain where Moses is said to have received the Ten Commandments. It remained there until the middle of the 19th Century when a visiting German scholar, Constantin von Tischendorf, took parts of it away to Germany and Russia. To this day, the monastery officially regards it as . In total the codex is now in four portions, the largest of which - 347 of the 400 pages - is that at the British Library. The rest are split between Leipzig University Library, the National Library of Russia in St Petersburg, and the monastery. Free website All four institutions are co-operating to digitise the entire text, as well as using hyperspectral imaging to photograph it, in order to find any hidden or erased text. "To do it also in infra-red or ultra-violet photography, as in forensics, you'll find out any hidden aspects of it as well," explained the British Library's digitisation expert Lawrence Pordez. The British Library bought the codex from Russia for £100,000 in 1933 He added that a further advantage of using photographs of the manuscript to make a facsimile of it was that there were "no chemicals involved". "It's also faster to produce," he added. For his part, Dr McKendrick said he estimated it would be about four years before the codex is fully available online. This is to give time "to essentially photograph the manuscript, to conserve it, to transcribe anew the whole of the text, and to present that in a new form electronically". The British Library will also develop a free website to present the manuscript. The website will both "present the manuscript - just the facts as it were, the images and the transcription - but also interpret it for different audiences, from scholars right through to people who are just interested in this manuscript or in Christianity". Bookmark with: Delicious Digg reddit Facebook StumbleUpon What are these? E-mail this to a friend Printable version