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My boyfriend and I have both hit hard by the economic effects of COVID-19. I was laid off from my job, and my boyfriend's company has furloughed most of its employees indefinitely. We are both very anxious about our future, and every dollar we receive from unemployment and our stimulus checks is going directly into savings, with a small portion left over for a discounted monthly rent payment we've negotiated with our landlord. Our goal is to have a year's worth of expenses covered in case we're both out of work for a long time. To try to save money, we're living off of what we have on hand in the pantry, so basically various combinations of rice, canned beans and tuna and dried peas/lentils/etc. I'll be the first to admit that these aren't the most fun/flavorful meals, but we need to be financially responsible right now, and we have more than enough food to last us until the end of summer. My sister has been living with us since February, when she left her job because of conflict with her boss. This was supposed to be a temporary arrangement while she looked for a new job, but obviously, given the current situation, she may be here for a while. Unfortunately, she isn't eligible for unemployment because she left her job at will and she has zero money right now, so my boyfriend and I haven't asked her to contribute anything to the household financially and have been sharing all our food with her. Everything was fine for the first week or two after the lockdown, but lately my sister keeps complaining that she's sick of eating nothing but rice and beans and keeps saying it isn't fair that we won't order a pizza or buy some "real food" from the grocery store once in a while. I tried to cut her some slack at first because I know this is a stressful situation for everyone, but eventually I snapped and told her she was being ridiculously entitled (especially since she's living with us for free!) and we all have to make sacrifices. AITA? ######

NTA She's living in YOUR HOME. For FREE. She should be grateful about that instead of complaining. ######

It was a couple of us together, my friend started dating this chick. We live in Colorado, but before his girlfriend lived in LA. She was telling us about how she used to live in L.A that she knew a lot of stars, I am not going to name who. But talked about how she hooked up with certain producers. And then said that her boyfriend is lucky that she is with him. ​ This really irked me because my friend is a nice guy and often keeps quiet even when he is uncomfortable. So I just went in and said, 'oh did you actually date these guys or did they just hook up with you once or twice?' She started to get defensive about this, and she was like its more complicated then that. I started pressing more into it as well, and then I said that from my understanding you didn't get those guys. Those guys slept with you and ghosted you and only invited you to parties because you would bring your other female friends. ​ She got really flustered and angry, my friend didn't say anything. I just said hey I got to go. My friend's girlfriend definitely see's me as an asshole. And said what I said was misogynist. I don't see it that way at all. I didn't like her thinking she was above my friend or whatever weird power dynamic she was trying to do. ######

NTA She's emotionally abusing her boyfriend by bragging about how many guys she slept with and telling him he should feel lucky, because clearly she's just "lowering her standards." Your friends might have felt awkward about the exchange, but their silence says more on their willingness to condone such behaviour than anything else. ######

I had a heated argument with my mother about her lying. She really likes to talk about me; especially if it's something that SHE thinks is correct, but is in fact a lie. She thinks that she knows everything about me and that she can read my mind. Especially in conversations with others where she would talk "for" me. Today I told her that I really liked the one thing she brought with her about a week ago and wanted to ask her to buy it again sometime. She looked at my dad and said: "Did you know that she ate it in one sitting?" I was confused that she would lie about me. Me: "That's not true." She ignores me. I say it again, loudly. She still ignores me. Me (yelling because I'm frustrated): "Why would you lie about me? It's not true! You're always doing this! Talking lies about me! Stop it already!" Then she stormed out whilst saying: "You have cut my last nerve! Leave me in piece!" I know that I overreacted, but I have tried talking to her so many times without results. AITA here? ######

NTA She wasn't willing to listen to you and ignored you. Sometimes, yelling, though far from a good thing, is the only way to get through people. ######

For context, I bought a new cast iron skillet and still trying to get the hang of using it to cook a nice melted cheese sandwich. I thought that I should be sweet and make my wife breakfast. I’ve did this for a number of occasions these past couple of weeks but today was the one that made me rather pissed. She came into the kitchen and started asking why is this toast is slightly burnt; the french toast has not absorbed enough egg etc. She then proceeded to give me feedback about how I should do it. I just told her that “Look, I just wanted to make a nice breakfast and still trying to get the hang of it. I’m really not trying to be a top chef here.” AND...she got pissed with me. This is not the first time and each time I just brush it off. But it all just got to me today but I know that if the position has been switched, I would be told off for trying to tell her what to do. ######

NTA She was being ungrateful and rude. ######

I (m,23) have zero tolerance for people who are late. I have been dating a girl (22) for a few months now. She is always late, usually 5-10minutes but sometimes 15-20minutes. It drives me nuts but I dont say much. Yesterday we had a date, she did not show up I was calling her but she was not picking up the phone. After a while I decided to go back home. After 50mins she calls me and says she went to the beauty salon to get her hair done so thats why she was not able to pick up the phone and she was late. She went really mad when told her that I already left. She called me AH, because she spent all the time to look beautiful to me but I did not wait and just left. So, AITA here? ######

NTA She was at least 50 minutes late. That's extremely disrespectful of your time. This isn't going change. Find someone else to date. ######

its been going on for a while, but durring the lock down her complaining about not being able to find a 'man up to her standards' has gotten the better of me(26f). Her wants: roughly her age Never married No kids high paying job no exes drama fit/stays in shape loyal doesnt mind spoiler her and their kids. Now thats not an unseasonable expectation on its face but she(36f)... 1 marriage ended in divorce 3 kids by 3 different guys, yes one is the ex husbands(middle kid) VERY low paying job, needs welfare and mom's help to get by since her baby daddys are dead beats lotta baby daddy drama 60 pounds over weight far as i know shes never been a cheater though Shes still been trying online dating during the lock down, but she says shes keeping it to just talking with hopes of meeting after the rona. Which i do think is the responsible way to do it and Im very glad shes handling her search that way. But she keeps complaining, usually via text, every day how theres no good guys that meet her standards. most the high earners have a kid or ex wife, or dont have time to work out due to his job. So I told her, in private of course, that"you needs to be realistic. 99% of high earning mid 30s men dont want someone with multiple kids by multiple men, that has no income and is overweight. the '1%' of men look for the '1%' of women. If she wants a new husband she'll likely have to settle for medium income and probably at least an ex if not a kid". She called me a bitch for trying to tear down her dream. now mom is upset with me for being too 'mean'. was i an asshole and went too far? ######

NTA She wants a textbook perfect guy when she's a textbook mess. ######

Hey everyone, ​ now I am in a bit of a tricky situation and don’t know how to handle it. My GF borrowed my almost new drone, because she wanted to make some short videos of her new sport activities for me. I had previously given her a very detailed instruction on what to do and what NEVER to do at all like disabling the automated Anti-Crash system. Well, she disabled it, because with it on the drone will never go lover then 0,5m and she needed it to follow low. While following her, the drone hit a bench at Full Speed, repair impossible, about 3.200€ to replace it. Now here is the thing: She is not included in my drone Insurance and has non herself so she has to pay it from her own money. While her Job is not bad, that Money would take her savings of almost 2 years while my job pays way better and I save the sum up in 2-3 month depending on Workload. I feel bad for having her loose all her hard earned money while it’s kinda nothing for me to pay it but on the other hand I don’t feel like I should have to pay for the damage I did not do. I will probably decide by your answers what to do. ######

NTA She used it in a manner that you warned against and she broke it. She is liable for it. Wether you want to try and pursue the money is up to you, I wouldn’t call you an ah for expecting a replacement so long as you’re nice about it. ######

So, my mum called me and asked me if I wanted to have some Sparkling/fizzy water from the supermarket. I’d have to go with her since her arm is injured and she isn’t strong enough to carry a sixpack. I told her I’m fine and I don’t need any. She said ok, and then came home from work in a fussy mood. I asked her if she’s ok and she said how she wanted fizzy water. She hardly ever drinks it. I told her that if SHE wanted some, she should have told me since I would have gone to the shop with her to get some. I go to my room, and my mum is still upset. I go to her room like an hour later and ask if everything’s ok. She says “I’m thirsty” , while theres a massive glass of water next to her. I point it out to her. She proceeds to say “it’s not the same”. I again tell her how, if SHE wanted sparkling water, she should just tell me up front “ I would also like some sparkling water” and I’d happily go to the shop with her. Now she is acting like I’m an AH. AITA? ######

NTA She sounds mad at you not going along with her and like she's trying to make you feel guilty or annoyed ######

My older sister and I share the house we grew up in as part of our inheritance. To keep this as concise as possible, my sister’s boyfriend and I absolutely do not get along. I genuinely do not think he’s a good person and have no problem going out of my way to avoid him. My sister is well aware of the fact that we don’t like each other, but is constantly setting up scenarios for us to get together and hash out our differences. Although I don’t like him, I don’t care if she brings him over as long as she lets me know when he’s coming, which she normally does. I got off work yesterday and found him in the living room, and when I asked how he got in he said he used a spare key. To my knowledge we don’t have a spare, just the two keys that both my sister and I have, but I shrugged it off and went to my room. When my sister came home, I asked when we got a spare key and she said she copied her key and gave him one so he could come and go since he stays over often. I was furious, because this was never discussed with me. When they went to bed, I took the key off the ring and I have no plans on giving it back. She’s upset with me because she says that the house is just as much hers as it is mine and I don’t have the right to take things that “aren’t mine”. ######

NTA She shouldn't have given him a key without talking to you first. He doesn't live there, so shouldn't be there if she's out of the house. But realistically? They're not going to stop. She's just going to make him another key. If sharing the house with her isn't working for you, then you might need to talk to a lawyer about forcing a sale of the house. She can take her half of the money, you'll take yours and you can both live in separate homes. ######

I will try to not make this too long, also on mobile, blah blah blah. So yesterday I(13) was making some ballon dinosaurs and I was using scissors to cut the paper, stupidly I left them out last night and went to bed. I am woken up by my step dad throwing open my door and yelling about how I left the scissors out. My first thought was instantly ‘someone is seriously hurt’, but he continues to say “Your sister just cut off all her hair”. He continues to say that I’m and idiot and I am so stupid, I was in shock (kind of) so I don’t recall what he said word for word. He also said “How do you like to be woken up by being called an idiot or stupid” or something like that. I barley got out a word and the he slammed my door so hard my shelf shook. I have not left my room as of me typing this but she’s a three year old how could she have cut off all of her hair? And how did she? Yes with scissors, but shouldn’t he be watching his kids? TL;DR: I left some scissors on the kitchen table, my sister got them, cut off “all of her hair” and my step-dad told me by yelling at me and name calling. So reddit AITA for leaving the scissors out? Also I might get in serious trouble and can’t get to my phone or laptop meaning I might not reply to comments later today. ######

NTA SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN BEING SUPERVISED BY HER PARENTS IN THE FIRST PLACE It takes time to cut it off, if he had been watching her properly or noticed the scissors out she wouldn’t have done it. ######

My girlfriend broke up with my last night out of the blue. She said she woke up one day a couple months ago and said she wasn’t happy in the relationship and she wasn’t getting what she wanted out but she waited until last night to tell me. A few months ago we went to get some pottery at a local store. She wanted to buy a gift for some people. But she left her wallet, so I offered to pay if she paid me back. Well she never paid me back. I want to leave the receipt with a civil message asking for the money back on her door step. Is this asshole-ish? ######

NTA She said she'd pay you back. A break-up doesn't change anything here. ######

So me (m18) and my ex girlfriend (f18) of a little over 8 months broke up about two weeks ago. For context, the breakup was pretty mutual and peaceful because we are both getting ready to go to college and didn’t think we could do long distance. Since then, she made a tik tok with several pictures and videos of me followed by some videos of her crying as a way for her to “cope” apparently. So far it has over 1700 views (I know it’s not a lot for tik tok but still wow) and it has been growing everyday. I have had over 20 people, from friends to people I barely talk to, send it to me asking if I had seen it and told me how inappropriate they thought it was. I totally agree and I asked her, with an emphasis on this, POLITELY, to take it down, and she doesn’t want to. I talked to a mutual friend of ours about it and I could not seem to reason with her, or my ex, that she should take down the video, and they kept turning it back on me as if I was the jerk and should let her do what she wants even though I do not feel comfortable with the video being up. AITA for wanting her to take it down? ######

NTA She posted pictures of you without your permission. Super simple, she should take it down. Additionally, tik tok tends to assume things and you could end up getting a bad name because of what she posted. ######

My older sister and I are very different. She’s very loud, very “open” and pretty shameless. This is why whenever she comes over to my mom’s apartment (where I am currently living because I had to flee my college housing), she has no problem ripping off her shirt to change or to show us that he boobs are bigger/smaller than the week before (shes 24 and for some reason hasn’t adjusted to the fact that they fluctuate with her cycle I guess??). I however am a bit more reserved. Because of this, I immediately turn away from my sisters bare tits whenever she whips them out in the middle of the living room. Yes, sometimes I say “[Name], Really?” Or something similar, because it genuinely makes me uncomfortable. This is not something we grew up doing, either. We had separate rooms and stopped bathing together at an early age. My mom uses the bathroom (#1) with the door open, but only when appropriate and when she’s technically out of direct line of sight. (My sister, on the other hand, will leave the door open in the hallway bathroom where she can be seen, heard, and smelled while taking a fat shit, technically not what im asking about but kinda relevant) Anyways, so one day she rips off the top, I turn away, she goes off, “We’re all girls! What will you do when you have a kid? When you have to bathe them? Well it makes me feel really shitty when you react like that.” So, am I being a snob/asshole? This is dumb but its been bugging me... ######

NTA She knows it makes you uncomfortable yet she continues to do it. ######

I’ve been with my girlfriend coming up to 1 year now. Her best friend has been having a 3 month affair with a married man. She knows he is married. She found out she was pregnant a month back and he has completely disappeared into thin air. He has blocked or deleted her from tinder and she never got his real name (they both went by aliases) and now she is desperately searching for him on Facebook but nothing even in the ballpark has come up. The guy offered her abortion money and offered to go with her. She refused because she has a 3 y/o and she wants a sibling for her baby. I can’t say I didn’t see him disappearing. He’s a piece of shit coward for having an affair in the first place and so of course he’s gonna abscond from a pregnancy from his side chick too. From my perspective it’s fairly obvious he was using my girlfriends friend and she should have either known that or have been prepared to deal with the consequences. My girlfriend is very worried about her friend and keeps talking to me about it and asking what I think even though I’ve made it clear I don’t approve of either of their trashy behavior. I told her ‘well what did she expect?’ She keeps asking me if I think ‘as a man’ is it possible he will come back. I said hell no. Sometimes especially within the context of a couple talking let’s be frank we won’t always be politically correct. She flipped her shit and said that my attitude towards her pregnant friend is misogynistic and I’m being heartless. I don’t think I am and I feel I’m allowed to have an obvious opinion such as that. ######

NTA She knew what she was getting into and you're being honest I get it's her friend but that's no excuse for her behavior ######

So my(25m) sister(19f) is staying with me during quarantine because I live in her college city and our mom is across the country. I live in a two bedroom apartment, but the second bedroom I had been using as a game room/office. Our mom sent her some money for a bed when she moved in, but my sister spent it on a new computer. Since then she’s been sleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor. For about a month now she’s been whining that it’s uncomfortable and I’d just been ignoring her. Apparently she texted my girlfriend about it because when I talked to her she said it’s “inhumane” that I’m making her sleep on the floor and I should buy a cheap bed for her. I don’t see why I should have to since she can move back with my mom, or sell her computer and buy a bed. She was given money, it’s not like she didn’t have a chance. AITA? ######

NTA She knew what she was doing when she used the bed money for a computer. She blatantly thought she could then force you to buy her a bed. She doesn't deserve to be rewarded for misusing your mother's money. ######

I've dated a girl for a few months. I'm her first since her husband of 2 weeks died a year ago this July. She wants to bring this kid along, but doesn't want her husband's family to know she's dating, so we can't flirt, hold hands, kiss etc. with him around. Because of that, I said we can't bring him unless she can tell him about us. She can't tell him, but already promised the kid he'd join us. I told her she'd have to go without me if she's gonna bring him. It might be worth to mention she's got a couple of friends with us to disguise the fact that she's travelling with her new boyfriend. So, am I the asshole here, or is my decision fair? ######

NTA She isn't ready. ######

A few days ago, my (16F) mom (50) told me that she recorded me singing in the shower from outside the door. Later, one of her friends was over and asked me if I would sing. My mom said that she showed him the video. I didn't say much then, but today, I brought it up and told her she shouldn't record me without my permission or send it to other people. She almost immediately started screaming at me, saying she never said anything about showing someone else, and that she recorded it for herself because I never sing for her when she asks. It seems like a pretty big deal to her. I get the feeling now she's going to be mad at me for the next few weeks. AITA? ######

NTA She invaded your privacy and when you called her out on it she reacted in a very belligerent and disingenuous manner. ######

my wife has been avoiding me for a couple months now. I thought it was stress. I lost my job, and was fully at home for nearly 3 weeks, and she started working more. Thing is, she would be 2-3 hours late coming home from work. One night, she didnt come home at all. I felt bad for her working so hard, so I made everything here as easy as possible while I looked for a new job. I ended up getting a new job fast enough that we didnt miss a paycheck, but she was still so distant, and still working extra. on my second day of work at the new job, she left for an errand the moment I got home. We have 2 daughters (1 and 2 1/2), so I went to get them from a nap, only to see my wifes ipad open, and receiving messages. some about me, but mostly about the guy shes been seeing for the last 2 weeks. I didnt mean to see them, but I couldnt look away, and she is furious at me for seeing them. I was served divorce papers yesterday, and have been getting messages from her friends saying that im the worst for reading those. Im thinking that if I hadnt seen them, I never would have known about the other guy, and her plan to take the kids to him. so, AITAH for reading my wifes messages? ######

NTA She had the iPad open not closed. So you didn’t go out of your way to look into what she was doing. She’s just using that as an excuse for her cheating. ######

I’m FTM, when I was 14 I came out as transgender to my parents. My sister was 5 when I came out, she’s now 18. I’m now 27, married with a daughter (I don’t know if I need to clarify but we used a donor and my wife got pregnant) My parents helped pay so we could afford the bills etc that came along with trying for a baby. A month ago my sister told my parents she’s pregnant, they couldn’t handle it and she asked to live with me, which me and my wife agreed upon. Last night we were talking about mum and dad and I apologised for their behaviour, it’s just a shock as she’s their only daughter. She, literally, said “they should accept me being pregnant, like they accepted you being trans” This, by itself would’ve been frustrating but for the past month she’s been misgendering me- I realise she’s clearly bitter over our parents accepting me and not her pregnancy. I asked her to leave this morning and after a few tears she’s moving in with our aunt, who lives hours away so she won’t be able to see her baby daddy. My wife thinks maybe I overreacted because the subject (being trans) can be a little sensitive for me and she’s pregnant and scared. My aunt thinks I’m a complete twat. AITA? ######

NTA She got pregnant while very young, not in a serious relationship or financially independent and still living with her parents. I'm not trying to judge anyone else here who may have been in a similar situation but in this case, it doesn't sound like particularly responsible behaviour to me. So she's trying to compare her being irresponsible and making a mistake to you not being cis, which isn't something you can control. It's kind of like saying "they should accept me getting pregnant at 18 because they accepted you having blue eyes." One is a behaviour. The other is part of who you are. Not to mention that the way she's saying it, combined with her misgendering you, makes her sound transphobic, because she's implying that being trans is a bad thing. Is her misgendering you a new thing? I wonder if she's somehow being radicalised. Edit: reconsidered my phrasing and changed the word "unmarried" in the first paragraph to "not in a serious relationship or financially independent" ######

Last night we decided that I am going to come to her apartment around 8. When I got up today it was raining and the bus was a bit late so I arrived to her apartment around 8:10. When I knocked on the door she told me through the door that she is just going to take a quick shower. Her showers always take an hour and this was no exception. I was waiting for an hour in the rain, because she wanted to take a shower before opening the door. After she finally opened the door I was horrible. During the day she keeps asking me why I am not joyful as usual. After telling her many times that I had to wait for an hour in the rain she said: "You that I always take a shower first thing in the morning. You should have come at 9". I was defeated and just went back to my place. AITA for acting the way I did? ######

NTA She could have let you in before her shower. For future reference, a good general plan is to not wait for another person for longer than 15 minutes. In this case, the minute she left you in the rain so she could take a shower, she prioritized her desire for a shower over your comfort and you should have just left. ######

A girl i had been sleeping with recently got pregnant. She however had been sleeping with dozens of other men and she only slept with me once, while she slept with them all the time. I wore a condom as well so the chances of it being my baby are incredibly slim so she hasn't been able get me for child support but she claims that its mine because the baby is white and she's white and all the other men she slept with are black. (she claims that but i know thats a lie, I've seen her with white and asian men) I basically told her to fuck off whenever she tried to contact me wit the baby. She wants to take a DNA test to prove wh the father is so she can get child support. Its without a doubt not mine but she wants me because I'm the most financially stable and can pay the most. She is pretty poor and so is most of the city i live in. DNA tests can often costs $300 to $500 gerneally which is like 3-4 of her weeks salary. She wants me and all the other men to go on the Maury show so she can get the test for free. I told her to fuck off and I'm not doing that. She keeps contacting me about it and i got sick of it so i blocked her. Her friends keep contacting me to and i tell them to fuck off and i block them too A lot of people keep telling me i need to either pay for the test or go on the Maury show because its unfair for a struggling mom on such a low paycheck to have to pay for that. I saw fuck that and fuck her for being such a whore she doesn't even know who the father is. Its not mine and I'm not going to waste time being on this show, not to mention i don't want the publicity from being on that bullshit show. I don't care if she has to spend that much money on a paternity test, its her own fault ######

NTA She cant tf ake you to court over paternity if she feels so strong about support. ######

Okay I know this is weird. Me and my SO just moved into a new 2 bedroom apartment. We planned to make the second smaller room an office. One of our neighbors from the apartment next door introduced herself as we were moving our stuff in. She’s very chatty and outgoing and we hit it off right away. She says we seem cool and she wants to ask us a favor: if we could make the east bedroom our master bedroom and make the master bedroom our office. She says this is because the walls are super thin and her room is right on the other side and she could always hear the previous tenants having sex. She said she put up with it then but now that we’re new here and haven’t moved anything in yet, it wouldn’t be a big deal for us to use the other bedroom. That way she wouldn’t be bothered and we wouldn’t have to feel like our privacy was being violated by knowing someone can hear. “Win-win,” she said. But the thing is the master bedroom is obviously larger than the second bedroom and has two closets. In the smaller room we wouldn’t even be able to fit half of our bedroom furniture. But I’m super non-confrontational and i hate feeling like someone would be mad at me, and don’t want to make an enemy out of our neighbor right off the bat. My SO thinks she’s overstepping and should mind her own business. Would we be assholes if we moved our bedroom into the master bedroom anyway, even though she asked us politely not to? ######

NTA She can move her own bedroom if it bothers her that much, this neighbour has a real cheek! ######

My roommate got pregnant and asked me to move out so her bf could move in and they could turn my bedroom into a nursery for the baby. That made sense to me and I had absolutely no problem moving out. My paychecks have been a little unstable anyway, so I had been using my savings to pay rent. So ending the lease early was actually really helpful for me so I can build up my savings again. I thought I would just go live at parents house for awhile. They are staying at another house they have in different part of the country. They’ve said I can stay there for free as long as I take care of the place and do all the basic upkeep. The plan was that I would officially move out at the end of this month. Two weeks ago though my roommate and her boyfriend got into a big fight and broke up. I don’t know the details. I just know that he doesn’t want to live here with her anymore. After that my roommate asked If I wanted to stay. I said no because with a baby around the corner (her due date is in early July) I don’t think it will be a pleasant living situation. So since then she has been trying to get a new roommate by posting all over online, but so far no one contacted her about it. Earlier today she came up to me very seriously and sort of pleaded with me to stay. She said she hasn’t been able to find anyone interested in moving in and she won’t be able to afford rent next month unless someone moves in and doesn’t know what else to do. I totally get she is in a very tough and scary position now and I do feel sorry for her, but staying at my parents just makes more financial sense for me. It would only hurt me financially to continue to stay here and pay rent. ######

NTA She asked you to move out for the sake of her new family, but what if that didn't work for you? Would she have still let you stay, or would she be more interested in her new plan? You gotta take care of yourself girl. There are definitely tons of people looking for places to live right now. No shortage of potential roomies. If her savings really don't allow her to pay a single month's rent without a roomie, she's got much bigger problems coming her way. You do NOT want to be around for that, because she'll likely need to be floated money in the future. Plus, her relationship sounds like it's going to be very ON/OFF. Let her deal with her own mess. ######

My girlfriend and I live together, and she’s usually pretty relaxed and easy to get along with. But today she put on a smaller tank top, and some shorts, looked in the mirror and asked if the top made her look fat. Now my girlfriend isn’t fat per se, but she’s a little chubby. She’s still attractive, but she’s not a 2% body fat supermodel. Neither am I, but I don’t get upset if someone points it out. I said she looked great, and she said that I didn’t answer the question. I asked if she really wanted to know the answer and she said yes. I said the top was a little small, and not super flattering. She then got mad and said that was rude and then started crying. At this point I got annoyed, and said she shouldn’t ask trap questions if she’s going to cry about it afterwards. I gave her a perfectly nice answer in the first place, and she wanted an honest answer. She claimed she wanted “support”. We’ve been fighting all day about it. AITA? ######

NTA She asked you a question, heard the polite answer, refused it and then couldn’t take the honest one ######

I have a daughter who will be 27 in two months, and lately she has been constantly lamenting the fact that she is so "old" and has not found "the one." I know that this is likely a result of so many of her friends having gotten married within the last two or so years, including her younger sister who married her longtime boyfriend last fall. I am sure it also does not help that she has served in the wedding party in many of their weddings. My daughter has had her share of relationships with really nice guys, in my view, so it's not like she hasn't had her chances. It's just she's never had a relationship last more than about nine months. She might have had one longer than that but certainly never over a year. Recently when I was talking to her she asked me if there was something wrong with her. I've gotten similar questions in the past, but this time I decided to try a different approach. I told her I had noticed how she treated some of her boyfriends and couldn't blame them for deciding to call it quits. She is really great with her friends and family and not self-centered, but the opposite is true with her boyfriends. She is very demanding and extremely high maintenance, and I think she can be petty. She demands so much of their time and attention that there is nothing left for them, which is why most guys try to avoid girls like her. No matter how pretty or smart she may be it just isn't worth all the headaches. I feel like this was all something she needs to hear. Most of the guys she is interested in aren't going to put up with this type of behavior (and especially not guys in their late 20s and 30s), so if she wants those guys then she needs to rethink some things and learn not to be so demanding and bossy. Both my wife and my daughter think I am TA for saying this, but I don't think telling the truth and giving an honest opinion makes someone TA. AITA? ######

NTA She asked to know what was wrong, you gave an honest opinion. If she thinks she’s hopeless and genuinely wanted an answer well she got one, maybe “the one” will be able to put up with all her needs but for now, you just gave advice that you believe will help her. ######

Background: I dated this guy for 2 almost 3 years. At first everything was fine he is literally the smoothest guy I’ve ever talked to, then all of a sudden something happened with his apartment. He said the lease expired and his landlord was doubling his rent if he renewed it, being 19 at the time I believed him. To make a long story short he drained my bank account, destroyed my car, and left me with PTSD (diagnosed). I now have a restraining order against him. Onto the story. Approximately a year after we broke up I got an executive chef job at a new restaurant, at this restaurant we had a server who was like a ray of sunshine was personified. Shortly after she turned 18 she started talking about this cool older guy she was hanging out with. She I figured by older she meant 21 or so and just kind of rolled my eyes as she didn’t immediately say anything too alarming. Then one day she said his name, now his name is really uncommon in the area we’re from, it’s also spelled weird. I asked how it was spelled and she told me, then I asked his age and he was 26 at the time. Finally I asked for a picture and lo and behold it was him. We were slow so I had one of my line cooks take over and told him to call me if I was busy and same to one of the hosts at the front for her. I went over everything he did to me with her and at the end told her to make her own decisions but he really wasn’t a good guy. Since that day I’ve had mutual friends of ours and his family (brother, that’s how we met) that I’m friends with tell me that I’m awful. From their perspective he’s a changed man and I ruined his chance at happiness and I overstepped boundaries. He’s been telling the mutual friends I did it to make him miserable and they’ve been believing him. From my perspective I was protecting a young girl from making the same mistakes I did. AITA? ######

NTA Seriously. If I had the mental fortitude and rapport with my exes new significant other I'd have warned her. Not because I hate him. I really hope they are actually happy. But because he used, abused, and manipulated me into never wanting to be in a relationship with a man again and I never want someone else to go through that. I really don't care about him and his life. He can be happy or miserable, IDGAF, I just want people to know what they are getting into. Maybe he has changed, but I doubt it. Either way you're NTA for telling her what happened to you. It is absolutely your own business who you tell about your trauma. ######

Me (22F) and my boyfriend (22M) were in the middle of foreplay when I pulled back his for skin and saw it was a little bit ( just a little bit ) gross. I asked him if he could clean it before we went any further and he responded by saying “can we not just have sex then go shower?” To which I said that’s unsanitary and I didn’t want to. He then threw a hissy, stated the mood was gone because of me and he didn’t want to have sex anymore. AITA? ######

NTA Seriously, wtf. He needs to clean that shit. I never get offended when my gf has asked me (it's happened a couple times) to wash up before sex. Sometimes we even shower together and then have sex once we're fresh and clean. ######

For context, he (23m) isn’t playing for me (23f) specifically, just playing because it’s his hobby. A few hours a day and it’s not generally popular music, usually songs from games or films and 9 times out of 10 they are what I would call ‘Cowboy Themed’. He also does the singing in the appropriate accent for the song (we are English). We live in a very small flat, our kitchen and living room are one and the only other rooms are the loo and bedroom. He plays in the living room and when he starts I tend to get up and go and sit in the bedroom. The reason for this is because it’s not really the type of music that I like, and he does it LOUD. It’s very overpowering to be in the same room as. He’s recently mentioned that he thinks it’s rude for me to leave and that I should stay and listen. I thought this was a bit uncalled for, especially considering I don’t even put the tv volume above 15 if it’s something only I’m watching and he’s in the room, and I’ve also watched a video on my phone with sound out loud (not through headphones) precisely once during the time we’ve lived together while we’ve been in the same room, and he asked me to mute it within 30 seconds of it being on because ‘the woman’s voice is annoying’ which I did immediately. I generally make an effort to not be overly loud when doing anything with others present as I was raised that this is rude. I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong, but I think I need another perspective on this! Thanks 😊 ######

NTA Seriously though, you married the annoying guy at parties who whips out the acoustic guitar? That's on you. ######

Obligatory mobile apology for formatting and spelling This year my grandmother (mother’s father, not that that matters) is turning 80. For her 80th my mother and I are making her a quilt. The plan is to have all of the family members sign a block of the quilt and then for us to stitch over it. For our purposes family is defined as her siblings (full and half), her descendants (all living generations) and all of her descendants spouses. We are choosing not to do significant others that are not already “common law married” (ie been together for 10+) years because it’s a lot of work to make a quilt and it would be awkward to have a name that is no longer part of the fam on there. We sent a single square to my brother (22) to sign and he called and was pissed that we didn’t send one for his gf (23). They’re both fresh out of college (graduated this semester) and have been dating for 2 years. We told him we don’t want her name on their because she isn’t part of the family by the definitions we set for the purpose. He told us he’s not going to sign his then. While it might be worth noting, grandma does not like the gf because she is overly dependent on my brother, it is not the deciding factor. We have family on the quilt that she also does not like but is either her descendant or a spouse of her descendant. The gf is simply not included due to the relative brevity of the relationship. AITA for not wanting her name to be on the quilt I’m making? ######

NTA Send him one last message. “We all decided together who would be included in the quilt project. You agreed that significant others who are not married and haven’t been together for at least 10 years would not be included. You may have changed your mind, but we haven’t. If you don’t want to be included, we’re sad about it, but we aren’t going to fight about it. If you change your mind, we need your square by next Friday in order to get it sewn in.” And then if he doesn’t sign it, just put a blank one in that he can sign later after he gets over himself. You might want to put a couple blank ones in anyway for descendants that haven’t been born yet. ######

Back story, I (47m) have been married for 21 years wife (50f), we had 4 kids the oldest passed two years ago. So for lockdown it’s 3 kids 15,19,21 wife and me. My work payed off everyone but the Management team. Which I’m a part of, we were all asked if we had a vehicle as preference is given to those who can help running stuff from place to place. (Don’t want to give away too much identification to my store). I said I didn’t have a vehicle because my marriage is not a real one of two humans working together to make the best life, it’s my wife and her stuff and whatever I can earn for her and the kids, she doesn’t work, inherited a large sum 8 years ago and refuses to help with the bills. The car was purchased by my wife and therefore is hers, I should add she also owns a second vehicle. When I told my wife that there’s a better chance for me to stay working if I have a vehicle she said well of course you can use it, you need to work. That was a month ago, this week I asked my daughter to have the car home so I could go to work and my wife freaked, saying it’s not my car and the bosses are rich enough to pay for my transport. So fine, if I can’t use her car, she can’t use my PlayStation, which means no streaming service or televised entertainment at all in the living room for anyone. AITA for diving to her depths? ######

NTA Sell the PlayStation (when you're able to) along with anything else you own that might fetch some money. Buy a cheap-but-decent car. Leave your wife. Obtain a divorce. Start living a better life. ######

My friends and I (20M, we all around 20) go into a group facetime call and just chill and talk on it. Sometimes we play games, but we mainly just talk, we usually call for literal hours. Theres this one girl in our group call, that has recently started learning how to play the ukulele. It's great and all, but its really annoying to hear it over the mic, shes not bad, but she makes alot of mistakes, she keeps plucking strings until she finally hits the right one, which is what makes it such an annoyance. I've literally asked her a handful of times to stop because its really loud over the mic, whenever I do she just starts singing to drown me out. When were playing games, all I hear in the background is a shitty ukulele and a decent voice. This past monday, she joined the call and she was holding her stupid ukulele. I clicked on her icon, and muted it. Since then I've muted her during all the calls because it seems like all she wants to do is just play the ukulele, I've realized that she doesnt even notice because she never talks. Not one of my friends in the call said a word about me muting her because I assumed they all agreed it was annoying as fuck. Today she found out that I was muting her without her knowledge and she bitched and cried about how much of a dick move it was to do something like that, and now everyone is acting like I'm a POS. If everyone had such a huge problem with it, then they should have said something. AITA? ######

NTA Say that you *did* tell her, but she started singing to drown you out. :P ######

I’ll try to keep this simple. I (23M) have been dating (23F) for about 5 months now, and our relationship has been official/public for most of that time. She is extremely supportive, generous, and I think, a great girlfriend overall. I am not a big social media user, but my she loves Twitter. I don’t have Twitter, but as she spends hours on it everyday, I got curious and decided to look her up. Sort of teasing, I asked what her username was, and she said, “Are you looking me up? Don’t look at my Twitter.” I assumed she was being lighthearted in turn and just teasing. Well, I managed to find her handle and after about 5 minutes she made her account private. Now, I try not to be sensitive, but I admit I was a little hurt. I didn’t realize she was being so serious about this. I asked her if I was going to see something offensive, she said no. I asked if she was doing things she didn’t want me to see, she said no (which is obviously paradoxical). Her position is that Twitter is “her space.” I replied that no, it’s actually the most public space you can get, which is why I’m confused that she doesn’t want her BOYFRIEND to see what she’s doing. We are at the point in our relationship where we’ve talked about our past. I know she has met/sexted guys via Twitter. I understand that everyone has a past, and everyone has a right to privacy, but this just feels icky to me. I am still fairly new to the relationship thing, and I am genuinely not trying to have trust issues here, but to me this feels like a red flag. My girlfriend seems to think I am making a big deal out of nothing. AITA? Do I just need to chill out? ######

NTA Run. ######

Needless to say, I've bee dating this girl for a month and granted sometimes she likes to dress a little tomboyish every now and then but she lives an hour away and when she gets ready to leave my place to head home, I always find her putting on one of my outfits and trying to wear it when she heads home and I'm not just talking a shirt, I'm talking a shirt, pants, underwear, hat, etc, etc. Just last week she started to put on my belt and when I saw her I told her please not to use my belt because it's $40 and I use it every day because I only have the one. Well, guess what, she still wore it without me knowing and I have yet to see my belt back and he acts like when I bring this up that I'm so inconsiderate and she's going to bring it back and try to make me feel bad for being upset about her wearing my stuff when she shouldn't be touching it at all especially if she hasn't even asked if she can. Like when I found her wearing the whole outfit I kinda snapped and just asked her in what part of the world is it okay to put on someone else clothes without even asking and just start wear it when you leave to head back home and think there's nothing wrong with it and its okay. So when I snapped a little-told her a simple rule that I was taught growing up is #If it's not yours then don't touch it. Especially if you haven't even asked if you could touch/use/borrow the item that's not even yours in the first place." Well after gave her think a small bit of advice she started acting like a smart ass and saying sorry, just sorry for trying to look good for a job interview that I have. Sorry. (The outfit she was wearing what a untuck Buttondown with pink flamingos and levis boot cut khakis. That didn't even look interview worthy) So am I the Asshole. ######

NTA Run from this kleptomaniac as fast as you can. ######

This seems like a straightforward YTA kind of thread. See the thing is I turned 21 when everything was in lockdown. It was a bummer but I get it. My close friend (26f) and I had this plan to visit the city, reserve a nice room and celebrate and postpone it. It was suppose to be next week then my friend announced she'll probably get her period next week, so we have to cancel. That seems odd, right? Well my friend can, but refuses to wear tampons. They make her feel immoral. One of the big activities was visiting a water theme park but if she gets her period, she can't go swim. Again, no matter what she'll refuse to wear a tampon even for an hour. This sort of irked me because whenever we plan a trip for her birthday she makes sure she books the room during the earlier days of the month to avoid this problem. For my trip she booked it on a later week. She says simply we can just reschedule, because she gets weeks off, but for me my work isn't that easy. I need to put my request in at least 2 months in advance. I also take care of my ill grandma and had to pull some strings to make sure my sister would be her caretaker these days. My friend seems to have no care about any of this. I've told her we could just skip the park but she says that's what she's looking forward to the most. I'm upset and stressed right now and I don't know if I have a right to be. I know it's not something controllable but she's often so aware of this and it feels like she put all my concern on the backburner. ######

NTA Ruining the whole trip because your 26yr old friend is too disappointed that she won't be able to go to the water park? I know it can be easier said than done, but I'd try and get a new friend. Preferably one with a mental age older than 12. ######

Sorry it’s a long one!! I’ve worked in front of house and restaurant/bar jobs for years now and I’m good at what I do, I always try to be polite and organised and get on well with customers. I was 17 at the time of this. But, a few years ago I was working in a country pub which was always especially busy on Sundays, we would regularly have over 70 tables per shift. I was front of house one week where we had a Christening party of 50 coming in for a meal- booked in at 1pm. To cater to this I made sure I didn’t take any book in’s around that time and sat no one in that section of the pub. However, it came to 1pm and no one had arrived from the party, time went on and it was 2pm- I decided to try calling the numbers they had given me and left voice mails. It was then 4pm and still no one had arrived or contacted us about the book in after we had called them multiple times at this point. As we were so busy it was rediculous to keep a whole section of the restaurant unused and made me look unprofessional turning people away saying we had nowhere to sit them. I called the Christening party a final time at 5pm and told them they had missed their booking and began seating people in the Christening section. At 5:30 almost 30 cars arrived and people started filing in saying they were a part of the party and trying to shove past me saying how they needed to be seated. I then had to stop all of them saying how they had missed their booking and there was no way I could seat them now. This was met with screaming abuse from the mother and I’m assuming her mother too (which were both Karen’s in case you were wondering). They were shouting how they had booked this months in advance and I should’ve held their tables even if they were a bit late and I should kick everyone out of the section they were meant to be sitting in. I simply told them they could wait in our bar area till a section is clear or they could go home but I wasn’t going to kick people out. WITA?? ######

NTA Restaurant in Germany are only required to hold your reservation for 15 min past the booked time. I don’t know the policy where you are from but four fucking and half hours is way way to late to still insist on a reservation. ######

Me and my boyfriend, both 21, have been together for about a year. I was visiting him when we went into lockdown so I’ve been staying with him and his family. For the most part I really get on with them, his parents have made some disapproving comments about me but I’ve enjoyed it here for the most part. This coming Sunday the local church will be hosting its usual mass, and with my boyfriends parents being extremely religious, are obviously going. I’ve never ever been to church, and was brought up told to choose my religion (or none at all) when I was old enough. My boyfriend isn’t that religious either, but goes to keep his mum happy. I told him I didn’t want to go because in all honesty I think it’d just make me uncomfortable, and he told me it was just an hour of my life and to just go and “sit pretty”, which kind of pissed me off. I’ve been through a lot in my life and, although I greatly respect religions and religious people, I don’t believe in it at all. He told his mum and it’s started some kind of war in this house, with my boyfriends younger brother saying he’s not going if I’m not. I was never rude about any of it at all. His mum is saying I’m not of the same “social status” as his family and he therefore shouldn’t be with me. My boyfriend is pissed at me saying I should’ve just went along with it to keep the peace. AITA? ######

NTA Religion is a personal thing. You believe what you believe. Noone has the right to demand another person goes and "sits pretty". In my book, anyone who judges someone's "social status" as a reason to look down on them is not a true Christian anyway. They want you to play a part. In short, to be someone that you aren't. They should be ashamed and you should decide if you really want any of these people in your life long term. ######

Recently my sister and her husband just had another baby. In the past they have been very clear about not posting pictures of their kids on social media. When they texted the extended family to announce the birth, they added a couple of picture and asked no pictures be put on social media. Well today. Scrolling Facebook I saw my aunt had posted one of the pictures of the baby along with it’s full name, birthdate, height and weight. This aunt has posted pictures of the kids in the past, but I’m not sure if the parents have discussed this more with her or not. The parent don’t have any social media so they won’t find out about the post unless someone tells them. I also feel it’s important to know that her Facebook is public, so anyone can see the photo, not just her friend list. So WIBTA if I told the parents? I feel they should know but I know my aunt will be upset if she finds out I told on her, and there’s a good chance she would find out. ######

NTA Reguardless of if this aunt heard of or knew the rules the parent(s) of the child should be informed. It doesn't nesisarily need to be anything brutal; just a kind reminder and a request for a takedown of said photo and information. If the aunt then refuses, do as you see fit. Pretty sure you can just report it to facebook and the reasoning behind it and it should be able to be removed. ######

Seven years ago, my biological sperm donor cheated on my mother with a college aged girl that was like two years older than me. I cut him out of my life, went FULL no contact since he was a real bastard and I found it incredibly creepy that he was now "dating" someone that was basically my age. I haven't kept up with his life, I made it really clear to everyone in my family at the time, I want nothing to do with him and if they wanted me to still come to family things on my dad's side, that was my condition. Everyone respected my boundaries, until recently. Turns out, Sperm Donor got married to his 25 yr old GF, and had a kid. But surprise, surprise, their massive age gap relationship wasn't all roses and they got divorced pretty quickly later. Not my problem, but now ex-Wife is getting remarried and gave Sperm Donor full custody over their 5 yr old. Sperm Donor was a pretty shitty parent with us, so unsurprisingly, I doubt he's too keen to be a single dad at near 60. Here's the problem. Gran and Auntie want me to "develop a relationship" with the five year old half sibling. It's still my "blood" apparently. I want nothing to do with his midlife crisis lovechild, and neither does my brother. And honestly, to me, it feels like Sperm Donor is just trying to get free babysitting/weasel his way into our lives again. I've lived through seven years without him, and I'm happy to die this way. I'm thirty now, I have no interest in getting to know my five year old sister. Am I the Asshole for refusing to get in contact with her? ######

NTA rather an absent sibling than a sibling who can’t help the hate the harbor for how they came to life. ######

Backstory: My (16F) dad and mom (both 37F&40M) got a divorce two years ago because my father cheated on my mother, her (the mistress) and my dad got married two months after my parents got a divorce. My parents have joint custody of me and my siblings (17M & 16M (my twin brother), we’re all close and decided we wanted to visit our father, his wife and her kids (16&15F, the father passed) every two weeks since it was either that or we’d have to spend our holidays with them (mother’s orders) which we all didn’t want. I don’t like the two teenage girls and neither do my brothers, they’ve called us the n word multiple times (our dad is Italian while our mom is black, my stepsisters&stepmom are white), usually stay out late, smoke etc. Story: We were at my dad’s house, my brother (twin) and I were playing video games in the living room, my stepsister (16) wanted to watch tv even though she has a tv in her room, we told her to give us half an hour since we hadn’t been playing for long, my stepsister called us both ‘ghetto n——‘ out of nowhere and my stepmother came downstairs to ask what happened. I explained to her what happened and she told me “Anna (random name), I’ve talked to you about this, stop being weak.” I asked her if my stepsister would be getting a consequence and she told me no because I was being weak, then added “for a black girl”. I responded by saying, “I’m weak yet you don’t have enough respect for yourself to leave a man who forgot to tell you he had a wife and kids.” since she wasn’t aware my father had a family while he was cheating with her. She went ballistic and my brother (17) who had just woken up had to hold her back, I feel kind of guilty but I also don’t. Now I’m waiting for my dad to get home. AITA? ######

NTA Racism is never excused and it's clear where the step daughter got her attitude from. Please keep us updated on what your father says. ######

About six months ago I installed security cameras on my property. One indoors to monitor the baby's room and three outdoors: one facing the porch, one my backyard, and one my rear door. I have a hot tub by the rear door. Having cameras facing front door or porch is pretty typical, right? People use Ring doorbells or what-have-you and don't think anything of it. Because I thought this was fairly standard for 2020, I didn't tell my friends. Whenever I entertained guests, it was always indoors where the only camera is somewhere a guest would never go. Something I should mention is I *never* let guests use my hot tub. Back in February I had to leave town for a few days and asked a friend to visit and let my dog out and feed her a few times a time. My friend lives only a block away and I compensated her for her time. Unbeknownst to me until two weeks ago, apparently she used my hot tub. Not just her, but two friends of hers did as well. And, they decided to hot tub without clothing. If it's not obvious, I don't check my cameras often unless there's a reason to. Neighbour told me the day prior that he saw someone get dropped off at my house while I went to do groceries, go into the backyard and then leave. So I wanted to see what they did. So I have footage of a friend with two other women changing in front of my hot tub, hot tubbing for an hour or so, then leaving. I told my friend that I wish she had asked permission before using my hot tub and told her what I saw and she freaked out calling me a pervert. She says it's my responsibility to tell people I have cameras around my property, even if their usage is benign. She wants to file charges against me for voyeurism. Sure, I watched the clip but only to see the extent of it and I deleted it after I was done with it. I counter that her friends were trespassing and I didn't permit use of my hot tub to begin with. Am I the asshole in this situation? ######

NTA quite correctly, they were trespassing. Pretty sure you don't have to tell people that aren't supposed to use the facilities about the cameras. Different case if you allowed people to use your hot tub. But you don't. ######

I (30f) took on full support of my step-daughter (16f) about 2 years ago. We get no help from her actual mother in any way because laws are complicated. Up until 2 years ago I would have said her mother, her father and myself had a shockingly good working relationship regarding my daughter. Then 2 years ago we got a call from a concerned friend that caused us to take my daughter full time. Since then it has come to light they were hiding that her mother is an alcoholic, that her mother let her friends and boyfriends abuse my daughter emotional and physically, and that she was spending all of our child support on boyfriends while telling friends we were doing nothing for my daughter at all. A couple weeks ago my daughter overheard my husband and I upset that her mother had claimed our daughter on her taxes even though she didn’t spend a single night sleeping in her house. Since then my daughter has decided she can ask her mother for all kinds of toys and such because her mother “owes her 4 thousand dollars of support.” I have discussed with her that manipulating people and using people is very wrong, but she says her mother deserves it. I can’t say I don’t agree, but I am concerned that I am just very angry with her. So I am turning to a third party. Am I the asshole for not stepping in for forcefully and making my daughter treat her mother better? Edit: My daughter does have a therapist but it has been interrupted by covid-19 as she refuses phone therapy. We are doing our best until everything opens up again. ######

NTA Please get therapy for this girl, to help her deal with the abuse. Perhaps you should check with an accountant, too, and also r/legaladvice. If there is any way to fix the taxes, go for it. Since the child was living with you, why didn't you and your DH claim her also? If so, then the IRS would have straightened it out. ######

I've just come home from spending a long weekend with my family for the first time since the pandemic. I usually go see them once a month but for obvious reasons I haven't been there since Feb. Now, for some back story. I come from a single parent household. It's always been my mum, my sister(20f) and I(24f). Ever since I can remember, I've always been the fat sister. My younger sister has always been beautiful and fit and I have always been compared to her. A while back I went into a bit of a rough time with depression and I gained a lot of weight. Since the lockdown started I have been dieting and exercising, I have been really happy and have set myself a goal to be on my healthy weight by August next year, everything is going according to plan, I have told my family this but they still insist on making me feel like "the fat one" even though there are so many other aspects of me as a person, I feel like I will never be anything more than "the fat one" I came home and my mum (who is very religious) started sending me bible quotes and telling me that I clearly don't love myself, and that I'm going to die of a heart attack soon. While my sister spent the whole weekend shaming me for every single bite I took. After my mum's messages I told her that I loved her but I was going to take a step back from them as I felt like the whole dynamic is turning very toxic and I can feel myself slipping back into that depressed person that I worked so hard to put behind. So I left the family group chat and now everyone is angry at me. They say they are only looking out for me but I can't help but think that's just not the case. AITA? ######

NTA Please don't make the mistake of thinking because you were raised by a single parent, they are then owed gratitude in the form tolerating their abuse. Your family is toxic, and it's plain as day to me that they don't respect you. They may respect life choices you make, or a path you are on (career), but they don't respect *you*. Don't give them the ultimatum of the boundaries. Put them up. If they can't respect the boundaries you set, then you may have to ask yourself if you aren't better off without them. Especially if they can so easily push you back into depression. ######

For Mother’s Day this year I decided to give my mother plane tickets to japan (her home country) for us to go on a girls trip together. I thought this was a nice gesture, since she loves going visiting japan. We never really go on girls trip and since I could actually afford to pay for it myself I thought it would be a nice experience. My mom was so overjoyed and excited to go! She hated that I spent so much money on her, but she loved the gift. However, my dad was not happy about this. I once mentioned my plan to give her the tickets to him prior and he said that it was a great idea. However on the day of he got extremely upset and when I confronted him about it he told me that I shouldn’t plan things with my mom without his approval. According to him, when I mentioned to him about my plans, he thought that he could go to. He was angry that he was not included in our mother-daughter girls trip. On Mother’s Day, during the confrontation he claimed “What about me? What am I going to do?”. He then claimed that it was him that married my mom and not me and then proceeded to ignore the both of us the rest of the day. Today, I learned from my mom that my dad forbade her from going on the trip with me. When I asked my mother why she didn’t stand up to him she replied with “I really wanna go on this trip with you, but I don’t want to disobey your father”. She has decided that though she wants to go on the trip, she cannot go unless she has permission from my father. I have a great relationship with both my parents and I’m not completely sure of why my dad is acting this way. I don’t like how my mom is treated like his property instead of his wife and needs “permission” to do the things she wants. But that’s their marriage and that’s how she decided she wanted to be treated so I can’t do anything about that. AITA? ######

NTA Please be sure to give your dad a nice, thoughtful gift of NOTHING for father's day. No wait, give him a bill for any money you lose because your mom "isn't allowed" to go. (Nonrefundable tickets, etc.) What a selfish, horrible man. ######

My girlfriend is pretty pissed at me. She likes playing Tiktok videos out loud on her phone constantly. It is honestly a really big petpeeve of mine when people play videos out loud on their phone, I can't really explain why. It just always feels obnoxious. I asked her if she could wear headphones or earbuds or play it somewhere else. She felt this was unfair, and that I was being controlling. To me it felt like a simple compromise. I know this doesnt seem like an important issue, but it caused a big argument. Am I being unfair by letting my petpeeve get in the way of her entertainment, or should she consider my sanity when playing videos out loud? ######

NTA Playing *anything* loudly on one’s phone is obnoxious, especially if it’s bothering others. If you have space, could either she or you go into another room? Either that, or she needs to use headphones. ######

I’m getting married in exactly 8 months. My mother is very excited, I’m the first daughter out of 5 to get married. My grandmother, my mother, my aunt and my cousin all wore the same wedding dress, unaltered, not tailored, just the same dress. It looked beautiful on all of them because they’re all beautiful women, but I don’t have an interest in wearing it. It’s not my style and I would feel bad altering it to make it more my style. When I got engaged, my mother was so excited that i was gonna wear her dress, and freaked out when I told her I wasn’t going to. She told me I breaking tradition and it was bad luck, but told me I can’t alter it, so I’m kind of stuck in a corner. I decided I was going to wear the dress of my choosing but wear her veil. That was not good enough for her and she won’t talk to me about wedding things because it “breaks her heart” AITA? ######

NTA Perhaps you could wear it for a photo shoot with your mom or maternal relatives? It could be like a lovely reunion with photos and a special thing as you all age. That might make your mom chill a little. Even the least controlling moms can get a little nutty when you marry- you’re growing up and changing and that can be suddenly hard. She might be feeling a bit rejected. She will get over it. ######

So a few days ago, one of my friends (who lives less than a half a mile away from me) sent me a picture of the sky because it was super dark. And here is the ensuring conversation verbatim: Friend: it's going to storm really bad Me: I don't think it'll be that bad but I'm still excited F: dude go fuck yourself M: ??? F: it's rude to be excited for storms because they give other people really bad anxiety and panic attacks (goes on to divert conversation to book they're reading) And I'm confused because they know I absolutely love storms and find solace in them. Even when there are tornadoes sirens going off, I enjoy them. I am aware that my friend doesn't enjoy storms but should that really stop me from even talking about my love for them? ######

NTA People have anxiety about everything. If you weren't able to enjoy things that gave other people anxiety, no one would be able to enjoy anything. Lots of people like storms. Nature is cool ######

I've been running for a few years, but have had a bad time health-wise this year (not the C-thing). Because my fitness has declined further than I like, I've gone back to the beginning of a Couch To 5k programme to build myself back up, using an app on my phone to guide me. A part of this is intervals, e.g. repeating a pattern of running and walking as prompted by audio cues from the app. Last week was 60 seconds of walking with 15 seconds of running. Someone who was sharing the outside space with me seemed to think I could do better, and that I wanted his instruction/encouragement to get 'better'. He matched my pace and was telling me to "keep going" and "you can run longer than that". I told him "thanks, but I'm doing c25k". Then the next time, "I'm doing intervals." After the third time I snapped and went "piss off and leave me alone already". Apparently that made me an "ungrateful bitch" (which he yelled at me again today), but he at least fucked off. AITA for phrasing it the way I did? ######

NTA On a personal level that's just creepy to start running alongside a stranger and encouraging them. You politely tried to decline this person and they kept on you, no need to keep up the niceties then. Also as an athlete, it's so strange that he assumed to know your training plan without asking you, and that he could train you better than you could train yourself. In general when you see someone working out, you never know their level of fitness and how this particular exercise integrates into a larger training plan. I remember once I joined a new running club, and everyone was much faster than me. I ran with the only woman who was running my pace and said something like "its so nice to meet someone my pace, everyone here is so fit." She replied with something to the effect of "yeah I'm happy to run with you, but I'm not always going this pace, I just finished a 200+ mile race this weekend so I'm taking an easy day." Its rude to assume you know how someone should be training without even talking to them, this guy definitely over stepped those boundaries, and then didn't respect you when you made yourself clear. ######

On Twitter a video originally posted on tik tok has gone viral of a man building his wife a coffee table. In the video the wife says how she wanted a expensive coffee table but the husband says he will just build it for her. I liked 2 retweets of the video. The first one says “I want a bob the builder a** husband” and the second one was “men forever asking can we cook, can y’all do this?” because UHM who wouldn’t want a husband who can build coffee tables?! Here’s the issue! My boyfriend saw that i liked those tweets and accused me of wanting another man who can build me coffee tables. My response was “.... can you not build stuff?” because i thought he was really good at those things. He told me that i didn’t like those tweets because of him and told me to go find a “bob the builder a** dude” since i wanted someone else. He said i liked the tweets because of the guy in the video.... i’m super confused because the guy is literally building his WIFE a table and i thought it was super cute too! I think every girl whether or not she has a boyfriend would love a husband who can build things. That doesn’t mean she wants someone that isn’t her boyfriend. He has now blocked me and called me a hoe. So, AITA? ######

NTA Oh, snap! He blocked you and CALLED YOU A HO, and you’re not describing him as your EX-boyfriend? Girl, you better think long and hard about whether to pump the brakes on your relationship with this jealous, insecure little boy. That’s the kind of guy that develops into a woman-beater ... be careful, for real. ######

I don't know how to feel about this situation so I'm turning to internet strangers who at least won't know my name if I am the asshole in this situation. My husband and I have 2 kids. Because we both work in healthcare there's an increased chance we could both die in the current situation. We decided to update our will and decide our children's guardian. My brother lives in the same city as us with his wife and knows our kids the best of all our close relatives. I asked him to be our children's guardian if both of us die. He replied, "Whoa, that's a pretty big ask. " I said, " I know. Obviously take some time to think and discuss with Ann. We would definitely be leaving money for the kids' needs, but they know you two the best. If we both die, we don't want them in foster care and we want them to be with thd people that know them best." He immediately replied he didn't need more time and definitely wouldn't be able to take them. I said ok and stopped the conversation there, but I was upset. I understand it's a lot to ask, but isn't that what family is for? To back you up when things go seriously wrong? I didn't bring this up again with him. A week ago , he calls me and asks for a significant amount of money. Because of the current situation he and his wife are out of work and they have a lot of loans and other bills to pay. We couldn't give them this amount of money without dipping into our savings. Normally I would have bit the bullet and after discussing with my husband given him as much as we could. But now that I know that if things get bad for us, he won't be there to help me, I'm not really motivated to help. He got angry at me and accused me of refusing only because he wouldn't take guardianship of the kids. I told him that now that I know that there may not be any back up if something happens to us, I don't think it's a good idea for us to make ourselves financially unstable too. He hung up and I haven't bothered to call him since. ######

NTA Now in brothers defense, it is possible he refused for good reasons, like he knows how unstable he and his wife are with money (I am actually facing the same problem with SIL). But your kids have to come first. Setting them up with enough money to be safe and secure is where your priorities have to lie. If your brother is willing to end a relationship just because you wont lend him money one time, then that is on him not you. ######

22F and 24F Best friend of 9+ years. I live in NYC and she lives elsewhere. She wants to move to NYC because she hates her current city and job. She is depressed and her mental health is suffering. She would need to sign our lease (3 bed) by June 1 to be our third roommate for a Jul 1st move in. The landlord said since she is the 3rd roommate, she doesn’t have to meet income requirements since we both do. I told her I will not let her live with us unless she has a job. I trust her but that is simply a huge risk. We are about to go into a huge recession and moving to one of the most expensive cities in the country with a few grand in savings and no job is simply reckless. She is upset with me. AITA for telling my depressed friend she cant be my roommate? ######

NTA Nothing tears friendships apart faster than money. Don't put yourself in a situation where that can easily happen. ######

I (15f) am getting tired of my sister (20) constantly stealing my stuff, mostly my art supplies. My supplies was a couple of pallets and paint brushes, I paid for all of these myself, I don’t have a job yet so it’s hard for me to buy new supplies so I use my supplies cautiously. It started when I was using my paint supplies on a project that I had to finish. My sister was playing with my niece. I left to go to the bathroom and feed my cat and when I came back, she stole one of my pallets and excessively stacked paint all over it. She was also using my most delicate/expensive paint brushes. I quickly grabbed the paint brush away and I got pissed off and yelled at her for grabbing my stuff. She quickly tried to make me a bad person for “ruining her bonding time” with her niece (even though she was the one painting and not my niece). I left to go clean up my brushes and when I came back, she started painting that same pallet on top of my project and let my niece use a sheet of paper to paint. This time, she took out her own box of paints and brushes. She used her own brushes for her and my niece, but continued to use my paints. I took away my stuff and put them in my box and my sister tried to make me the bad person by saying that “niece just wanted paint” and “I wouldn’t let niece use my stuff”. I would have gladly let them paint with my pallets if they just asked, but they didn’t Note: my sister has her own money to be able to buy her own stuff and has 3x more supplies than I do. ######

NTA Nothing is worse than someone purposely taking something precious from you when they have plenty of their own. Your sister is just being an entitled mooch and is trying to gaslight you into feeling guilty about it. She is trying to play the niece card and it's BS. Ask her why it's so important that the niece use *your* supplies when your sister could just as easily provide her own supplies for this oh-so-important "bonding" moment. Also, if she keeps this up, go rummaging through her supplies and do the same back. See how she likes that. Tell her that since it's okay for her to use your supplies, it must be okay for you to use hers. ######

So I get a snap from him, saying he “missed me”. I admit, I shouldn’t have been so rude because I said, “Miss me? You never talked to me and when you did you were insulting me or my appearance” And he said “I’m sorry if I hurt you” which is one of my pet peeves. And he kept pressing me asking me to forgive him and how he’s trying to be a better person. So I just proceeded to write a big ass paragraph about how I never wanted to be associated with him and I told him to never reach out to me again, then I promptly blocked him. I know this was high school, but shit like bullying sticks with you. My self-esteem was at an all time low when he picked on me. He was one of the main reasons I had to switch schools in the first place. So AITA? Edit: fuck it I got more to say. When I left that school I graduated with straight A’s, got involved in local theatre productions and I’m happy with the way I turned out. I’m not about to bring that guy back in my life Edit 2: Ngl, this ordeal reminds me of that Tom and Jerry episode where Tom can’t go to heaven unless Jerry forgives him. ######

NTA Not only is he not entitled to forgiveness, but even if you do find a way to forgive him, he is not entitled to any sort of relationship. You have moved on, and he should, too. ######

My(23F) brother(28) is dating this guy(20). He told me and our parents about it a year ago. I was kinda weirded out about the age difference but they’re both adults so I didn’t say anything. I visited my brother often and I got close with his boyfriend too, we became good friends. Last time I visited them(this was few months ago before all this stuff was happening by the way),my brother wasn’t home, so me and his boyfriend were hanging out. I was on his laptop and going through the photos, I wasn’t snooping, he was sitting right next to me, doing something. I came across an old photo of him and my brother. He looked reaally young. I asked him about it and at first he kind of freaked out, but he finally told me that they’ve been dating for longer than they told us. He told me that they have been seeing each other for 6 years. So he was 14 and my brother was 22. I was really shocked and disgusted. I left, he called me few times but I ignored it. Few hours later my brother started calling me. I answered and told him that I was disgusted with him and I didn’t want to see him anymore. He said that they weren’t even really dating and they started dating when he was 18, basically bullshiting me. I’ve cut him off completely. Only person who knows the actual reason is my best friend. She says that I’m kinda overreacting and since they’re both adults now there’s no point in having this reaction. ######

NTA Not gonna lie, if my adult brother hooked up with a kid, I'd have a similar reaction. ######

yea yea i know we’re all sick of leg shaving posts here but i need a second opinion. i’m currently living with my dad for various reasons after not living with him for a few years. he’s been dropping hints the past day or two that he wants me to shave my legs (ex. commenting on it, offering me a fresh razor) but i don’t want to for various reasons like razor burn. and also we’re not going anywhere where i’d show my legs so why does it matter? today when i got out of the shower he asked me if i finally shaved my legs and i said no. he said that he thought my legs were “unsightly” (i have dark thick hair and pale skin so i admit the hair does show up quite a bit). i told him about razor burn and ingrown hairs. he replied that “i’ve never met a woman before who didn’t shave their legs”. i answered that most women do not shave their legs when they don’t need to for the aforementioned reasons. he just repeated the same thing. then i started to get mad and i said “i don’t like seeing your arm hair but i don’t ask you to shave it so why do you keep asking me” and he said “don’t get on my case”. i was really upset at this point, because it felt like he was valuing his aesthetic preference over my comfort. i told him that and once again he said i’m the only girl he’s ever seen who doesn’t shave my legs. i went to my room and now i’m sitting here alone, and i wonder if i was too harsh on him or could i have explained it better. he sounded really exasperated which admittedly made me more upset so i was yelling a bit. maybe i am an asshole but i think he’s one too for not listening to me. i even said “go look online about reasons why women don’t like constantly shaving their legs” and he said “i’m not doing that.” or maybe i’m just making excuses. i don’t know, i’m so frustrated. that’s why i want second opinion(s). so reddit AITA? and what do i do if i am or am not? ######

NTA Not all women shave their legs and just because your father hasn't met any of them, doesn't make it not true. Also, your body. You don't have to do anything with your body that you don't want to. I'd tell your father that you are aware of his preference but it is your body and you will shave your legs if/when you choose to and you'd appreciate it if he'd drop the subject. ######

So, for a bit of context, I’m black and there is a total of one ethnic salon in my town and I had gotten box braids for the spring. The front part of my hair grows pretty quickly so I made appointments before I had the track schedule because they would’ve been full if I hadn’t then and there. One of my appointments was scheduled on a day I had a track meet. I asked my coach about it and she asked if I could reschedule and I couldn’t, since my lady was fully booked from now until May. I told her that there was one ethnic salon in town and this one specific lady was one of three there and she’s the only one who knows how to deal with my hair texture(both my parents are white) and I actually trust her with touching my hair. She said yeah I could skip I’d just have to make up for it in practice. Somehow this cake up how I was able to skip and I explained, my most of teammates said I pulled “the race card” on coach but the rest of my teammates agree for the reasons above. It’s hard to find good, reputable hairdressers that I actually want to touch my hair and know how to deal with it. Was I the AH in this situation or was I at least justified? ######

NTA Not all hairdressers are created equal. ######

So this one surprisingly will be a short post, because if I go to detail I will need at least 20000+ words because I don’t want to give some details and leave out others and also it hurts as fuck to write such a painful story. Basically my (24f) girlfriend was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer just before quarantine which had spread to almost everywhere and her life expectancy is a year at most, and with her doctors’s help and even after the quarantine we discussed if she would be able to make our travel plan with her condition in around October and the doctor told us there was an 90% chance she could , and we made a perfect plan to make all her checklist and travel dreams come true -which sadly none of which she has yet done-. But fast forward and I find her phone and find out that she was cheating for about half a year on Mr and the last time she contacted the affair partner was the day of her diagnosis. When I found out I just confronted her and told her “she deserves this” and left. She has been calling me daily ever since and begging to make the travel thing -and it makes me really sad to see her like this but still she was cheating for a year and a half on me- So I dropped all the plans with her and when I told her, she was absolutely crushed and so was I. This has been fucking with me ever since. AITA Reddit? I’m just so depressed and mentally drained at this point ######

NTA Nobody deserves cancer but your words were said more out of hurt than malice. I level with you and think you have a right to be happy regardless of you ex's current condition. She showed how little she cares when she cheated, you have every right to care just that much. To top it off, she seems to care more about her travel checklist than you. She will be leaving with regrets. ######

So my girlfriend's sister has opened an online store selling creams, misc hair products/ jewelry, and prints. I was pretty suspicious of what she is selling as she has a habit of putting the cart before the horse when trying to start up these little businesses of hers (she has a history of creating and abandoning small business ideas). She let me know she orders the cream from a supplier and resells it but claimed to make everything else herself. I've never known her to draw or anything artistic so I looked into the prints and.. She is simply taking them from another artist online and rebranding it with her name before selling it. I tried to talk to my girlfriend about this who asked her sister but.. She just denied it and insisted its her original work. The artist online I found has been doing this for a while however and her sister only just started selling her goods... Am I the asshole if I alert the artist? ######

NTA No. Not at all. That is someone elses labour she is passing off as her own. She is litrally taking money from that person. ######

My ex girlfriend and I officially ended things this January after a long drawn out break. Things had been on the rocks for a while. We were initially FWB but decided to be serious after about 2.5 years of doing so. The transition to serious relationship didn’t go well and she wanted an open relationship. She insisted it was more for me as she has a low sex drive and didn’t like feeling pressured to sleep with me more now that we were exclusive. She works as a waitress and everyone knows the situation the world is in right now. While we were a thing i would cover her rent/phone bill and usually some other things because I’m a dumb ass. Anyways, she’s baffled I no longer want to help her with her bills given the state of things and her career. I told her that it is no longer my problem if we are not together. She is accusing me of “forcing” her to prostitute herself to me to pay her bills. I told her if that’s how she saw out relationship then it’s best to stay separated. AITA? ######

NTA No reason to expect you to keep paying her bills when you're not with her anymore. ######

I (21M) have made the decision to go to therapy. I have many issues I need to sort out. This pleased my sister (24F) cos she's been to therapy and talked about so many benefits to it. So I have many issues I want to sort out. But I want two distinct factors in my therapist: 1) I want a male therapist 2) I want an older male, someone over 50 This is because one of my issues I want to sort is my own issues with my masculinity - what it means to be a man in today's world. I also have "daddy issues" that I need to sort and would feel more comfortable with an older male, rather than someone my own age. Anyway when I said this my sister said I was an AH and sexist. However she specifically sought out a female therapist so idk why she is having these double standards. AITA? ######

NTA No point in therapy if you're uncomfortable with your therapist. ######

Given that we are quarantining together, things are really coming to a head. I (24M) am housemates with “Kelly” (25F). I’ll clarify quickly that there’s no romantic connection, Kelly is a friend of my cousin, and we’ve been housemates since we graduated from college. My friend “Kayla” used to live with us too, but she left in March to quarantine with her family. Now, on to the issue. Kelly grew up in a single parent household, but her biological dad (who she’s never met) is apparently Palestinian. Her mom is white American. Kelly has always been sensitive, for example she blocked my number and social media when I threw away some moldy vegetables she was trying to sprout in a cup. She tends to blow up, calm down, and apologize a few days later. I’m a big martial arts fan, and I’ve lately gotten into Krav Maga. I practice in our backyard, and I watch videos on my phone. She said she’s offended by it because she’s Palestinian, and I can’t do it anymore. Usually I’d just go to the gym or something, but I don’t have that option because of the Rona. We got into a big fight, and when we run into each other in the house we don’t even talk. I’m also a minority (my parents are from Honduras) and I honestly just think she’s being too sensitive to something that doesn’t matter. I haven’t stopped practicing. AITA? ######

NTA No idea why the origin of martial arts would matter. I guess you would be very limited if you were only allowed to use martial arts from Honduras. ######

I will try to not make this too long, also on mobile, blah blah blah. So yesterday I(13) was making some ballon dinosaurs and I was using scissors to cut the paper, stupidly I left them out last night and went to bed. I am woken up by my step dad throwing open my door and yelling about how I left the scissors out. My first thought was instantly ‘someone is seriously hurt’, but he continues to say “Your sister just cut off all her hair”. He continues to say that I’m and idiot and I am so stupid, I was in shock (kind of) so I don’t recall what he said word for word. He also said “How do you like to be woken up by being called an idiot or stupid” or something like that. I barley got out a word and the he slammed my door so hard my shelf shook. I have not left my room as of me typing this but she’s a three year old how could she have cut off all of her hair? And how did she? Yes with scissors, but shouldn’t he be watching his kids? TL;DR: I left some scissors on the kitchen table, my sister got them, cut off “all of her hair” and my step-dad told me by yelling at me and name calling. So reddit AITA for leaving the scissors out? Also I might get in serious trouble and can’t get to my phone or laptop meaning I might not reply to comments later today. ######

NTA My older kids have left scissors out before, resulting it a younger sibling cutting their hair. Do you know what I said to the older kids? “Ugh, guys! You’ve got to remember to put the scissors away when you’re done. They’re dangerous for little kids. “ Then I got the little sibling’s hair cleaned up. Honestly, on the scale of big deals this is like a 3. Should you have put them away? Of course! But that doesn’t justify his abuse. ######

Husband and I have been struggling financially for a while now. I’ve tried making up a budget that lists our income, expenses, due dates, and balances on credit cards, but he won’t use it. We sold his car to pay off some bills a few months ago, used our tax return to pay off more bills, and I assumed that this stimulus money all went towards bills as well (we have separate bank accounts and I don’t have access to his). Well, today, we got a huge package. I had no idea we ordered anything so I was confused. It was a PS4. He bought a PS4 without even talking to me about it. While I’ve been wanting one for years, they cost so much that I’ve just accepted that I wouldn’t be getting one until they came down in price and we were more stable. I asked him how he paid for it and he said he’d put it on the GameStop credit card (that we had JUST paid off a couple of months ago!). He said it was a combination anniversary gift for me and early birthday present for him. He doesn’t understand why I’m mad because I had said I wanted one. Am I the asshole for being mad that he got it? ######

NTA My mom has this story she tells me: when I was a toddler she and my dad got into a fight over money, as a way to make up he bought her a ruby necklace. She had to pawn it for groceries and it made her even more mad bc of how plainly he showed that he just didn't get it ######

Posting on behalf of my sister (F15). Like a lot of people, she has a first name and a middle name. For the purposes of this post, let’s say her first name is Chloe and her middle name is Rosa. Both names were chosen by our parents. She likes to be called Chloe, and this is what her friends, teachers, extended family etc call her. However, our mother (F53) refuses to call her Chloe, and instead refers to her as Rosa. Our mother will not explain why she does this, and gets angry or goes silent when asked (usually by myself of another family member) to call Chloe by her first name. Chloe doesn’t like to be called Rosa, and has expressed this to our mother, but to no avail. Chloe doesn’t want to make our mother angry, and feels guilty about asking to be called Chloe as it upsets our mother, so just lets it slide most of the time. I don’t think my sister is the asshole here, but some other opinions would be appreciated, and also opinions on whether we would be assholes if we took this situation further (for instance, if we ignored her every time she refers to Chloe as Rosa, or told her we wouldn’t be helping out around the house until she respects Chloe’s desire to be referred to by her first name?) ######

NTA My little siblings are twins and have very similar names (think Ned and Teddy) and when they were little we started calling one by his middle name because their teachers and friends had started collectively calling both of them their names equivalent of ‘Neddy’. They’re 14 now and go by their proper names and we all respect it because that’s what they prefer. If your mother wanted Chloe to have her middle name as the first name she should have named her that way in the beginning. Now that you are an adult you can change your name to Princess Banana Hammock for all it matters and she should respect that or find herself ignored until she calls you by your proper/chosen name. ######

So I’m 6 months pregnant and I was talking to my friend who has two kids on the phone today. She asked how I was doing and I mentioned that my feet were really hurting today, and she said I should get my husband to rub them. I told her that he doesn’t like giving foot rubs, and I usually use a baseball and roll my foot on it. She said something along the lines of “so what if he doesn’t like foot rubs, you’re pregnant, he should be giving them”. I said again he doesn’t like doing it and gets annoyed when I ask too often. He gives them once in a while. She said to play up how much it hurt, whine all the time about how much my feet hurt, maybe cry when he says no, and she said that’s what she did when her husband didn’t want to give foot rubs. I thought it was sort of manipulative to do that and I said that it’s kind of unhealthy to be doing that kind of thing, either he’s going to do it or not but you shouldn’t be faking pain to have him do it. She then got mad and said it’s not unhealthy, she was just doing a little harmless acting, and not to judge her relationship when I’m the one complaining about my feet(which she asked how I was doing in the first place). I told her I didn’t really feel like talking anymore, and she then said I’m not the judge jury and executioner on what a healthy relationship(I don’t know that the phrase really works here but that’s what she said)is and to stop being so self righteous. I’m wondering if I just should have let it go from the beginning, because she’s not usually so... combative so I think I must have crossed a line. AITA? ######

NTA My guess is you hit a sore spot there. It IS unhealthy and wrong of her to manipulate (yes, you're right there imo, she was manipulating him) her husband into giving her footrubs. You calling her out on that made her so uncomfortable she lashed out. You've done nothing wrong. ######

So these idiot roommates of mine, both of them, make a point of leaving the door unlocked, despite the shitty neighborhood we live in, because... - ratchet social etiquette? Who are we to not put our complete trust in the degenerates and/or drug addled lunatics around us? - to avoid the degradation and hassle of using their house keys to enter the house? - attaching your home key to your car key on some sort of ring or keychain is for “lames”? My possessions are more exponentially more valuable to me than they are, so essentially in accommodating their hoodrat behavior I would be screwing myself on both ends of the risk/reward spectrum. So fuck that. When they do the dumb shit and they come back to find the door locked and I’m either online gaming or in bed, Im in zero rush to stop what I’m doing to be accommodating. I subscribe to the philosophy of Family Guy’s Spider-Man: “everbody gets one.” But if you’re not family, if I wouldn’t bleed for you, if I don’t owe you shit you will not make habit of inconveniencing me. Period. Does that make the asshole? P.S. for bonus points, one of the roommates is a mother who leaves the door unlocked in the home her daughter frequents. Because that shit’s safe af ######

NTA My freshmen year the same thing happened to me, he ended up complaint and I got my own room. ######

My fiancé and I have been together almost six years. He came to the relationship with a very cute but very spoiled cat he has always indulged. The cat has essentially “trained” him to meet his demands by meowing loudly and being a general pest. I’ve always been good to his (our, really) pet. Feeding him, scooping litter, affection and play, buying him monthly supplies and even contributing to his medical costs. I’m a good cat mom and he tells me so. Believe me, I care about the furry bastard and his well-being. So kitty always has access to food and fresh, clean water and a plethora of other creature comforts. Despite this, he will often meow incessantly around 5am and scratch and knock things over because he decides he wants something. I always give him more dry before bed and check he has what he needs. Doesn’t matter. Sometimes he’ll chomp through all his food, decide he wants a faucet drink or wants his food bowl shaken or he’ll make our lives hell. TLDR: I’m sick of dealing with this every night. I’ve never had such a demanding cat and have stopped giving into it all the time. If I know he has what he needs, I’m no longer jumping out of bed to “tend” to him. I tell my fiancé it’s practice for learning how to ignore a child’s tantrum and honestly, he should have been more mindful when he was a kitten/young cat not to reinforce this behavior. He says ITA but after 30 minutes, the cat finally STFU and he’s sleeping peacefully. AITA? ######

NTA My cat used to do this, but I had enough of missing sleep from being woken up at 3 AM. Eventually, I got a tambourine so when I heard the meowing, I opened my door and shook it If you cave, they know it works. They train you. Theyll bother you until you wake up and do what they want. I'll give them what they want during the day, but at night they better leave me be. Now they dont try to wake me up anymore. ######

Long story short, my father has drinking problems - he has been getting drunk every day for 10 years. As his drinking got worse, he had to close his small business and now works as a secretary for a smaller wage. Everything he earns goes on alcohol and smoking and so does my mom's money which she gives him to drink. Until I have moved out, they have lived entirely on my monthly scholarship which is less than 250 euros and expected me to pay bills and buy them food after wasting their money on this addiction (mom never drinks, but refuses to break up). After I moved out, mom had emotional meltdowns every day. Now that I am jobless, I have to live again with them. Since she had no money to pay the bills, the municipality has threatened to cut the electricity off. It's very unsure whether I will live here for 1 more month or 12 more months. I may pay the bills this month because I need Internet connection to attend college, but can I live this life forever? Can THEY live this life forever, avoiding being responsible humans? I have talked to them several times, but it leads to nothing. They have a very fatalistic view on life and think everything is meant to be this way because it's their destiny. She thinks the same as most people her age in my country, that children, regardless of age, have to give parents financial aid because they have raised them for so many years. If my parents were jobless I would gladly give them financial aid, but since they work and spend father decides to be an alcoholic and my mom sacrifices her needs for my amazing father, it angers me that they choose to avoid their responsibilities and expect me to be their saviour my entire life. ######

NTA My advice: help them pay the bills while your there so no drama happens and so you can keep going to college. Once you leave cut help. She can pay the bills if she doesn’t give him the money for booze. She has the power to have a better life. And so does he. ######

I(16m) live with my dad and grandfather. My older brother lived with us until he turned 18 last year and moved it to our moms. My dad and grandfather make me go to bed at 8pm and also take my phone and every electronic regardless if they bought it for me or not. I also do all the daily and weekly house chores(Dishes, mowing the lawn, vacuuming the house, etc) and I’m tired of doing it and having my stuff taken. My dad was upset when my brother moved out because they did the same thing to him until he left and my dad doesn’t want me to move out at 18. AITA? ######

NTA Move out and start living your life as an adult ######

My ex wife and I got divorced because she was cheating on me. We had one child, my daughter who is now 3. We got the divorce finalized in January and she voluntarily gave me full custody. We haven’t been in contact since. I didn’t block her because I wasn’t planning on preventing her from being part of my daughters life if she changed her mind. Today she texted me that it would have been nice to hear from me for Mother’s Day. I responded that she’s not really a mother, she just gave birth. She got pissed off and she blocked me. I feel like I perhaps shouldn’t have said that and I went too far, but at the same time she cheated and I don’t really feel bad. AITA? ######

NTA Mother’s Day is to celebrate and show appreciation for moms. You’re not wrong. Giving birth doesn’t make you a mother. Actually being a mother is what makes you a mother. ######

Throwaway account. For my grandmother's birthday I made her a triple layer chocolate cake. I spent all day looking for every ingredient so I could make it special and from scratch, because of how many layers it had it took me a few hours to make. When the cake was done I was proud of my work (I'm not the best cook) and I thought it was pretty good besides being a bit on the dry side. But hey I really did try to make it good. Soon as I show it to her she begins to criticize everything about it saying I should have done it this way and I should have done it like this instead. She told me every single thing I did wrong with making it then saying that she should've made it. Honestly I was hurt by what she said because I really thought it wasn't that bad. My family thinks that I HAVE to make her another one because of how bad of a gift it was and that it was an awful cake. I really don't want to do it again but everyone is making me feel awful about it for not doing it and I feel inclined like I have to do it. So, Reddit, AITA? ######

NTA MOST EMPHATICALLY *NTA!!!!* Never waste your time on ungrateful recipients. They will *never* be happy. Grandma sounds like a piece of work. I'll bet there are a lot of other things she constantly criticizes and she's got everyone under her thumb. Don't cater to her. It'll never end. It'll never be good enough. Just tell her that you obviously aren't a good enough cook to suit her and that you'll give someone else the opportunity to bake her a cake. ######

I been married to my wonderful wife for about two years. I have a college age daughter and she has two high school age children. I struggled with addiction throughout my late twenties and early thirties. I did many rehabs and detox centers. This is no secret, many people know about my downward spiral. I got my life in order and still receive services such as therapy, medication and meetings. I’ve been clean and sober for years and was able to finish college and start a business. I returned to my hometown and reconnected with my high school love. She is divorced. She knows about my past and she understands. Eventually the ex husband found out we were dating and told her family about me. Her family was not pleased at all. Her ex and her family tried to discourage her from seeing me. He told his children and they refused to live with us when we got married. They would bully my daughter and say horrible things about me. I was disinvited from their high school events and family reunions. My daughter is very bright and is attending a private Ivy League school. I am paying for her tuition and assisting her with her finances. My wives oldest is graduation from school and has her hopes in attending the same university as my daughter. Her grandparents approached me without my wife knowing and asked if I would support my step daughter with tuition. Her father and grandparents say they can’t afford to help her out. They mentioned that “she is my daughter too” and I have an obligation to help since we are all “family”. I stated that since finances are tight maybe she can start at a community college and for her to get a job to help with expenses. I stated also I can’t help since I’m already paying for my daughter’s school. Her grandparents were livid. My wife doesn’t know about this. I just don’t feel like shelling out thousands of dollars to get my wive’s family approval. AITA? ######

NTA Mixed families are tough business. Every family is different and whatever your situation. You’ve been married for two years, it’s not like you saw these two girls grow up at step sisters and you were father figure to them since they were babies or young children. This is for your wife, her ex husband and her side of the family to solve for. Does your wife support your daughters education? Will her parents provide funds for your daughter? What are family finance like right now, are you already supporting them majority of the way? ######

My boyfriend and I are both 29 and his sister is 18. Well we live in a 2 bedroom apartment with our 1 year old and in the same complex his mother lives with his sister. We used to take her to school and most days she would ditch and not go. They baby her so much, she doesn't clean after her self and she doesn't even know how to cook. She has been spending the night because her mother is an alcoholic and she gets hostile and kicks her out. She has a boyfriend that is 21 and is a pain in the ass. He is loud and obnoxious, always trying to show off and very delusional. He is obsessive over her so he is always coming over and stays the night sometimes also. He rides a motorcycle and he parks near our door and always revving his engine being super loud. He doesn't treat her good and I hear them fighting over the phone a lot. They stay all day watching netflix, making a mess, bringing random friends over, and her bf is just fucking annoying (nobody likes him). Two days ago I told them to go somewhere so I can clean the whole apartment and they got butthurt and they haven't came over. I am pissed cause my bf wants her to move in with us. I am an adult with a child and I want my own place. I need my privacy. I want to be able to get out the shower in a towel and not have her bf there on the couch like he lives there and having to clean up after them cause I know my bf is gonna keep on babying her. ######

NTA Maybe your boyfriend should clean up after them for a while, so he can put his money where his mouth is. ######

I am (30F) and my boyfriend is (32M). He is white and originally from England. I am originally from Mexico. My identity is indigenous Mexican as both sides of my family’a descendants have been in Mexico for a long time. As far as my boyfriend knows, both sides of his family have been in England for centuries with some ancestors coming from Europe but his ancestry is predominantly white European. Anyway, we’re both working from home and he thought it would be fun to trace his family history. He got really far back and it confirmed what he already knew that his ancestors were white European and cake form other countries to settle in England. He was excited as he got to see where his ancestors came from. I decided to do the same. I learnt that generations of my family are indigenous Mexicans and that I had some mix from South America. I managed to track one line all the way back to the Inca Empire. I tried to go as far back as I could in my Mexican line to see if maybe it extended to the Maya but it was too far back to succeed. Anyway, I thought it was really cool to learn that some of my ancestors came from the Inca Empire and went to Mexico. Well, my boyfriend took this information and started explaining European colonisation to me. I told him I already know what it was and why my Incan ancestors came to Mexico. It was presumably because the empire fell. He didn’t listen to me and said that I didn’t understand my family history and where my cultural beginnings came from and basically explained it to me as if I had no idea what he was telling me. I got really irritated and told him “I don’t need you explaining to me about my cultural background. I’m not stupid.” I walked away in a huff and my boyfriend said he was just trying to help me “understand” my ancestry. He said I was an AH for mildly snapping at him and maybe I could have said things nicer. AITA? ######

NTA Maybe later he can explain to you what it's like to have a period. ######

I (m17) have a fungal infection around inner thigh and genital area. I apply my anti-fungal cream before I fall asleep. Because of lockdown my step-sister's University closed and she (19) moved back in the house. Her Mac's charger broke, and recently she has been using my charger. After having dinner she left her laptop in my room to charge and we watched an episode of Witcher in Netflix together and then I went to bed. As usual I started to apply my anti fungal cream around my genital. I usually get erection while rubbing the cream. Suddenly my step-sister walks in(without knocking) and I froze like a deer caught in headlights, with an erection and pants down. My step-sister screamed and my parents came and she told that I made her feel uncomfortable. In my defense I said I was applying anti fungal cream and she should have knocked. Now, my parents want me to apologize to my step-sister and promise that it won't happen again. I have refused to apologize because it was her fault for not respecting my privacy. So, AITA for not apologizing to my step-sister when she caught me with an erection and pants down. PS: sorry in advance if there are any typos, typing from mobile ######

NTA Maybe do a passive aggressive apology. “I’m sorry you opened my closed door and walked into my room without knocking and found me applying antifungal cream to my genitals.” Edited: Well, this blew up, lol. And my first award! Thank you! ######

It's another day at my gym where I work out everyday, The customer service there is excellent the atmosphere is really good and even the drinks don't disappoint even though I carry water with me all the time. However there was this incident that started on February, it carried on for 3 exhausting days. You can get your own personal trainer you obviously know what that means you can also receive a massage from him if you wish to pay. He massaged me for several sessions and I became close pals with him however one guy took a photo out of context as he was passing by the locker rooms (because that's where the massage takes place) Took a photo where I wasn't wearing a bra and the personal trainer was looking away. I didn't notice the photo being taken as I was looking the other way He then tried to frame it as "She flashed her breasts at him that's a harassment" The photo was blurry so the managers believed he was pulling it out of his ass. The manager then came up to me the other day told me about it I audibly gasped, the dude who framed it was at the gym at the time and I went up to his face and almost had a breakdown on him. we shortly got seperated and I filled a report at him for being unprofessional and that he harassed me. He got banned from ever having a subscription to that gym ever again, the managers asked other women about this and if he tried to frame them as well but they explained that it didn't happen but his behavior was off-putting compared to other guys, he wasn't sociable sometimes glanced at a few asses but he wasn't "Alarming" according to their experience I thought about it day after day, we even joke about it now, but AITA from getting him banned in the first place, could he actually saw it as a coincidence or did he had a gripe with Women. Also I'm just friends with the masseuse for now, I'm single and 30 years old. (He's 32) ######

NTA Management made the right call and I'm surprised you even feel the need to ask. This person completely violated you by taking a photograph of you, without your knowledge or consent, in a state of undress. That would get ANYONE barred from a gym, and so it should. You did the right thing by alerting the gym to this predatory behaviour and removing a person who is obviously a threat to other gym members. I'm sorry you went through this. ######

My mom died when I was 13 years old and My dad remarried when I was 15 His new wife and stepsons. Was the boss Anything and everything he will do it I no longer was his son, or problems They made fun of me , was always giving everything by my own father. He takes them out to any restaurant and buy them anything I was the outsider this go on for 3 more years and I left for college and in college every year he will take his new family on vacation and always tell me he paying for your my college. I'm now 28 years old and have a high paying job plus $640,000 the bank My father call me in February telling me how he got $30,000 in hospital fee left to pay from his surgery and is having problems paying the it off and said no I don't have the money why don't you ask your stepsons. He said son Yours stepbrother are 19 and 15 please understand that and you and your wife have jobs and plus your in laws help you a lot with your sons. Please help, I just cut the call He call me every week and wife and in law about me helping him My wife think I'm unreasonable because I got all this money in my account and can't help my dad I tell her , he made me feel like a outsider and put his new family first and never look back for me and he spends a lot of money on them and I'm not helping him Am i the Asshole ######

NTA Lots of these replies are about you reaching out to your dad and finding out why he treated you so bad. You know you are just a reminder of your mother. And for that pain your dad avoided and shunned you. You have every right to tell him what a jerk he was to you and how badly he treated you and how he is a disgrace to all fathers out there. Hell, to all humans. To your wife.. please tell her this isn’t about mending a simple broken fence this was your father systematically treating you less than family. He treated you less than a dirty sock on the side of the road. You can contact that hospital and pay on or all of that bill if you want. (Don’t give him the money). I’d cut him off for a long time and explain to your wife that you want not part of him or that family in your life. I mean your step mom never spoke up for you? F her too. Please get therapy just to help you and your wife understand how his actions can have repercussions for you later. Good luck ######

Yesterday morning my girlfriend was being pouty and generally sour. When I asked her what was wrong she said that she was upset because I had not cooked her breakfast or brought her flowers or any of the things I do for her birthday or our anniversary. Befuddled, I asked why I would do any of those things for mother's day, as we have no children? She thought that because we have two dogs she qualifies for mothers day. I laughed and told her that until she has a human child she doesn't qualify for mother's day. I had sent cards and flowers to my mother and grandmother so I guess she was expecting some too? She's still upset about it this morning. AITA? ######

NTA LOL what?! I have two dogs as well and felt silly when someone told me "Happy Furmother's Day" - That's a bit much if she was *that* upset with expecting this sort of treatment with owning dogs..... ######

We've been going out just over 3 years and are 29 and 30. He makes significantly more than me (3x my wages) And recently got a massive £700 bonus which is more than my regular wages are. (I'm looking for a new job before anyone says) I'm not interested in having any of his money, we split dates 50/50, but there have been things happen where he's displayed kind of odd behaviour which comes across as selfish and something happened last night. We were hanging out at his, he has a lot of beer in the house (3 crates and lots of other special bottles) I was going to go to the shop to get some and he said, "Nah it's raining, you can buy some off me." And I actually had to pay him £5 for 4 cans of Carling (cheap beer which would have been about £5 in the shop.) The thing is, if it was the other way around I know I would've just given him beer and not thought about money at all. I would definitely not 'sell' him beer. Even if I was poor. When friends/family come to mine I just give them drinks if they want them. I buy my bf treats too, I bought him a video game this month and have one in mind to buy him when he's finished it. He's bought me stuff in the past but as I said that doesn't matter I don't care about getting stuff, I just thought the drink thing was super stingy. It's not the money it's the notion. For example if he had said nothing and I'd gone to the shop and paid that would have been fine. AITA for being annoyed that he made me pay for them? TL:DR: My bf who is on 3x my wages and recently got massive bonus made me give him £5 for a few beers and I know I wouldn't have 'charged' him if it was the other way around. ######

NTA Lmao you’ve been together for 3 years and he charged you for a few beers? Wtf kind of cheap bs is that ######

so i come from a very traditional muslim family in turkey and since i'm 17 now my family started to put a lot of pressure about getting married bla bla. i'm closeted and my parents are super homophobic and religious. so today randomly the idea of having kids was brought up. i accidentally told that i won't have any which sent my mom to a breakdown. she started shouting at me cause she won't have grandchildren, calling me selfish. (i didn't talk ab adoption cause she is really against it for some reason?) whatever i shouted hat she was the one being selfish and that it's my life & i get to choose what i do (that was the safest thing to say without outing myself) she started crying and called me ungrateful. i was pretty confident that i was right but then my sister (who knows i'm gay) and she told me that i acter irresponsible and hurt her feelings? so am i the asshole for making my mum cry just by telling her i won't have kids ######

NTA Listen closely. You didn’t make your mother cry. Her inability to accept you as an individual who makes different choices than her is what made her cry when you shared part of your valid and wonderful choices for yourself. Your mother is choosing her traditions and prejudices over the happiness of her own child and using emotional upset as a bargaining tool to manipulate you into behaving how she wishes, at least on the outside. You will have to decide how much you want to hold back and not share so you don’t have to deal with family uproar, and how much you want to shine a light and illuminate your family’s dysfunctional emotional behavior. You aren’t an asshole for saying or choosing what you like. But it might be more diplomatic to say you went to the doctor who said children aren’t possible, if you are really serious about a childfree life, or adopting in the future. ######

I've been with my gf for a while and we are both 16. Her parents keep asking me to tell my gf to do things. Like they'll tell me to tell her she needs to study, finish her homework, eat less junk food, go on her phone less, wake up earlier, etc. The first few times I told my gf "your parents told me to tell you x" and she would just complain about her parents being annoying. We started joking around about me being her parent and I'd jokingly say things like "take out the trash young woman" or "go to your room". Her parents kept asking me to tell my gf things. I usually didn't even bring up to my gf what her parents are saying after a while. Then they'd call or text and ask if I told her and if I can ask her again as she still isn't doing what they want. I told them " I'm her partner not her boss. I'm not going to try to parent her. If I'm worried about her I'll talk to her privately but I'm not going to monitor stuff like if she is sleeping in late or not studying enough. It isn't my job to do that." They called me disrespectful and said I should be looking out for my gf. ######

NTA Like you said, it's not your job, it's theirs. Her parents are super creepy. ######

So this happned a few months ago but my brother still wont talk to me about it. Basically here's the story, I moved away for college and obviously school is expensive so like most students I was struggling financially. One of my classmates who I got along with worked at a strip club and told me I should try it out because the money is good and she could recommend me. Fast forward a bit and I'm working at the club, money is great, hours are nice and best of all it's basically paying for my schooling and then some. I ended up telling my brother this one day and he went on to tell our mom that I work as a waitress which is whatever. Except that since then she kept talking about how they should come visit me and stop by the restaurant I work at, my brother kept making up excuses why they shouldn't do that and finally I had enough of playing this game of pretend and just told her. My mom wasn't thrilled but she seems to be more understanding. My brother though was furious with me and basically has not spoken to me since then. So AITA? ######

NTA Like Missy Elliot said, “... just stay ahead of the game”. I’ve known a few strippers (I was a late night cook for years in Vegas). Smart women. You do you. Just stay safe. ######

So, that’s is a throwaway, the fact I’m gay has nothing to do with the story, English isn’t my native language, and I’m on my phone. Let’s get to the actual story; and introduce the characters. Salvi is my boyfriend, mom is my mother, dad is my father, Marie is my sister, I’m 20, as is Salvi. So, as a child, my mother was hyper-conscious about my weight. It translates into me being on diets from the age of seven. As an early teenager, I struggled with an eating disorder, and the road to recovery has been a messy one. At the age of 18, I decided to move out with my boyfriend, and we lived in our own apartment. Note: my father wasn’t really okay with the diets, but he never opposes my mother, which has causes tensions. Okay, so my parents house is being sold, so they asked if they can stay at mine until they find a new place, and I agreed. That was two months ago. Like three days in, my mother started commenting about how I had gained weight, and that I should eat less, and it’s been making me feel worse, and worse, and I’m starting to enter old habits. I’ve tried to tell my mother that I am an adult, I can know what to eat, to no avail. Last night, after a certain remark, I snapped, and told my mother that she could either stop fucking remarking, or she could leave (and by extension my dad), and it escalated into a huge argument, and they both left to my sister’s. My sister called me up to tell me that I was an asshole for how I handled the situation, and that I should apologise, and that my mother just shows love in weird ways. Salvi will support me either way, but he prefers they don’t come here. So Reddit !! AITA for snapping at my mom? ######

NTA Let me get this straight - you're graciously letting them stay at your place for two months and she's been bitching at you since day 3? Not only were you right to put her in her place, but I would absolutely would stick with not letting them stay if she continues her toxic behavior. ######

when i confronted him about this, he said i was overreacting, and that "ive changed" because honestly, i used to think it was funny, and im embarrassed of myself. luckily, ive learned and grew as a person. and he also defended it by saying "its not in bad context, and its not hurting anyone", and i personally think the context doesnt matter. i tried telling him that saying rasict and Homophobic slurs isnt funny and you shouldn't say them, but he said i tried "pushing my agenda on him". so i would just like to know, AITA for confronting him and saying its wrong, or am i overreacting? ######

NTA Leave that group. Don’t be part of that chat group. ######

Okay, so, this is an ongoing thing now dating back to my pregnancy with our baby (1). My husband likes to leave and go do his own thing, which is fine; he needs a break. Parenting is hard and we already have a 5 year old. The problems: -the day after we brought our baby home from a very traumatic birth (I hemorrhaged and almost died) my husband left to go to the next town over and was gone for hours. -I had postpartum depression. He constantly left me home by myself with both of our kids for hours. He was never affectionate and just acted like he didn’t like me and our family anymore. -he lied to me. A lot. -he still leaves to go do things on his own for hours at a time. He offers to take us sometimes but our baby can’t hang out that long and he knows it, but he isn’t willing to leave when he’s tired and he also won’t carry the baby (25 lbs) so I have to hold him for hours while standing up. -he says he can’t watch the kids for me to do anything on my own. The few times he has had our baby, the baby acts like he doesn’t know who he is, for good reason. He only knows his mom and brother honestly. I’ve caught him being too rough with the baby before too. He also pops him already which I do NOT think he’s old enough for. -I haven’t even got to take a shower by myself in a year. I always have to bring the baby in with me. So we occasionally argue about this stuff because sometimes I bring it up and it makes him feel bad so he leaves. AITA for being upset and bringing it up to him? ######

NTA LEAVE HIS SORRY ENTITLED BUTT. This guy left you for hours after a traumatic birth where you could have died. He lies. He refuses to watch the kids for you to get a break, while he continuously gets to. Your baby barely knows him. Its basically like you are already a single parent anyways. This way he will be forced to be a parent and take care of them on his own. ######

Residential zoned area, less than .5 acre property, zoning ordinance limits max of 4 dogs, noise ordinance specific for dogs. Neighbor moved in with 3 dogs, now has 11 (all ages, diff breeds). Dogs barking from 5am-11:30pm. We told her nicely about the noise but she refuses to do anything. Smell from feces is unbearable. We filed complaint with Zoning Dept. Neighbor now is mad that she has to give up some of her dogs. Are we assholes because we don't want a 'kennel' next door to our home with 11 dogs that bark constantly all day? ######

NTA Keeping the dogs in that condition ("Smell from feces is unbearable.") is animal abuse. You did the right thing. ######

Last night I was watching a bad movie with some friends and acquaintances on discord. We were making fun of it and at one point this Arab stereotype popped up on screen. One guy started making racist Muslim jokes directed at me cause I am. I laughed it off and said [don’t care, plus you’re white](https://youtu.be/ZboBh58wdFg) suddenly he said “don’t send that shit. It’s fucked up” I asked how and he got mad because he said people always send him that shit online because he’s white. He then went on a stupid rant about straight white dudes get shit on the hardest and blamed for everything. I didn’t feel like arguing so I just said “did someone accidentally put pepper on your boiled chicken sandwich” he then left the call. It’s weird why he got offended when he’s made worse racist jokes in the past about me and I thought it was funny. Was I the asshole ######

NTA Keep sending him white boy memes until his white boy brain explodes. ######

So a throwaway account and bit of backstory here, bare with me... I do almost all the cooking in the house, no problems at all as I enjoy doing it. Every weekend we align what time we're eating etc, additionally I give them notice just before, I (usually) set the table and more often than not I'll be sitting at the table waiting for my wife and kids to come while the food gets cold. Sometimes they really are just coming from a bath or something, but other times its simply a case of they will start doing something else in the last minute (e.g. jump in the pool just before, start a game etc - this time it was unpacking the dishwasher while dinners on the table) - the usual response is "it'll only take a minute" Well yesterday evening everyone turned up late again, I don't say anything - my son barely touches his dinner then asks my wife if he can have corn chips instead. She goes to get him a bowl of chips (again I don't say anything but am noticeably annoyed) She asks whats wrong, and I say it's very similar to turning up late to dinner, it shows a lack of respect (towards me) for taking the time to prepare a meal than not eating &/or letting it go cold. My daughter was only eating the roast chicken (nothing else) and my wife says that's just as unhealthy - where I return to say that's rubbish. She then says "of course you're always right, your opinions always correct etc etc" where I then turn and say this isn't fair in front of the kids, I angrily get up - leave the table & meal half eaten and haven't spoken to her since. I already know this is being picky, but it bothers me as it feels like a lack of respect - Even if it's not that important, I feel if she knows it bothers me then after so much time she would just prioritize it as its important to me. So I suppose that's it - AITA? ######

NTA Just start cooking for yourself and leave them all to fend for themselves for a while (assuming your son isn’t like 4 and your wife is totally enabling him). You’re right, your wife shouldn’t undermine you at dinner either since you cooked. Either way eat what’s made or don’t eat. (Or at least make something yourself) ######

We went over there at least 4 times trying to talk with them in over a year, but the response was always along the lines of “we can make noise from 10 to 10”, and when I asked to keep them in the back so they wouldn’t react to anything that moves, they said “I don’t want to take away their view.” Now I bought a dog whistle after a year of dealing with two small shrieking dogs that bark at everything. It clearly didn’t help, so it was a useless attempt, but I heard a neighbor yell, not them, “you can whistle all you want, it’s not gonna help anyway, they did take the dogs inside though and it stopped. I really don’t know what to make of this, why did they yell that, I took it in a provocative way, but perhaps it was meant differently. I know it’s hard to ask opinions on something you didn’t experience, but as a whole, I don’t have a clue what it meant. I also don’t know who yelled it because it but they were other neighbors visiting the owners of the dog. (They don’t care about social distancing either) Is that a hostile or an affirmative way of letting me know it won’t do much, it was true, it didn’t. Am I an asshole for trying to quite the dogs myself this way by buying and using a whistle? (It sure felt that way) I also yelled at them in the past when I was too frustrated and couldn’t take that as well, but I feel like a knucklehead doing that, I want it to stop, but I don’t want to be a dick either. ######

NTA Just because you don’t have to go out of your way to not annoy your neighbors until 10 doesn’t mean you’re allowed to do anything you want all day every day. If it’s obnoxious, it’s obnoxious and you should call the police and file noise complaints anyway. They shouldn’t be leaving their dogs out all day. ######

My mother left when I (18F) was 9 years old, seemingly never to be heard from again. I was sad about it of course, but not *too* sad as we never got along. She was very cruel to me, and she very obviously favored my brother (20M). She always took his side when we fought, she always wanted to spend time with him and not me. Basically every memory I have of her is her reprimanding me for something. She has recently... resurfaced. After not hearing from her for nine whole years, I got a phone call. She asked if she could see me and I said no. Well, I ended up telling my brother and he says I'm being unfair and I should give her chance because she was abused by our father and it's not her fault. I don't know if she was abused (never saw anything suspect) but even if she was, that still doesn't excuse the way she treated me, in my opinion. And she owes me an apology at the very least. Truthfully, I just don't want her in my life. Even if she gave me an apology, I don't want to bother with her. She caused me so much pain, I literally grew up thinking she didn't love me. I kind of still think that tbh, I found out she has been sending letters and birthday cards to my brother the entire time, and not me. So... AITA? ######

NTA Its your decision. She left, you dont owe her anything just because you share blood. Toxic people are toxic people family or not. ######

sorry if formatting is weird So my mother was a middle school teacher and she would tutor this boy who was around 13 or 14 years old. He would come over our house for tutoring.So, they ended up having sex and mom get's pregnant. At that time, me (19M) and dad didn't know about the affair and thought the baby was dad's. We were with throughout the pregnancy and birth. How we ended finding out was my mom left her phone at home while she went to the grocery store. A text message popped up and it was a nude photo from the boy she tutored. I ended up going through her phone to see tons of dirty text messages and nude photos between her and the boy. I showed the pictures and text messages to my dad and needless to say, he was devastated. We decided that we should turn the pictures in to the police for not only the boy but for other future victims as well. We confronted mom about this and she admitted that she had been sleeping with this kid for a while and the baby wasn't dad's. She begged us not to turn it in to the police but we told her we already did. A few days later, the school found out and they fired her. The boy's parents got wind of this as well and they are pressing charges. My mom is currantly sitting in jail. As for Dalton (half brother), I can't look at him the same again. The rest of the family are calling me an asshole for not wanting to be around him and for turning in mom but to me, he will always be a reminder of my mother's infidelity and crime. So reddit, AITA? ######

NTA Its a lot of emotional shock, and whether you should turn someone in? If the sexes were reversed here there wouldn't even be a question. They'd want him locked up and the key thrown away. As far as your half brother, that's tough, its nothing he did wrong, but its emotional trauma for you. He's also in shock, the man he though was his father isn't, and his mother is now in jail. You should see a therapist, but I think cutting off your half brother is a little harsh. ######

So this happened a few years ago but I always wonder if I was in the wrong. My brother (21M) and his girlfriend (20F) has been dating less than a year when my fiancé and I started writing our guest list for our wedding. We decided to invite my brother’s girlfriend even though they had only been together for a short time. GF found out I had invited a friend which happened to be a former classmate of hers (this girl was also a fiancée of one my partner’s friends and had been together for 2 years) and asked me to uninvite this girl because this girl was her sworn enemy and apparently she had once been with my brother. I told her that whatever was going on between GF and this girl wasn’t my business and I didn’t want to make things awkward and uninvite her when I didn’t have a problem with her. GF then started accusing me of choosing this girl over her and disrespecting her and although initially my brother didn’t care, he also eventually agreed with his GF and neither of them showed up to my wedding. I was devastated and conflicted on whether I should have just uninvited my friend to keep peace between me, my brother and his GF or whether that would have just been the start of GF making demands and getting her way. ######

NTA Its a day to celebrate your relationship - if divorced parents can put aside years of rivalry/abuse/hatred to be at their kids wedding together, your brother's gf can put aside her petty highschool drama for one day for you ######

So this isn't a big problem but both my mother and brother see me as an ass hole for not sharing my PlayStation with my older brother(22) who used to own his own playstation but sold it when he was stuck for money and every day when wake up he is playing it (shared room) and if I am on it and leave the room for 10minutes or more he goes on it and doesn't even ask not only that but he uses my account instead of his own because he stupidly bought things and won't make his own account because he already bought stuff AITA!?? ######

NTA It’s your PlayStation. It’s up to you to decide if you want to share. He’s an adult if he wants one he can buy one. ######

I'm a student who was looking to move to a different room/studio. I found a great place and texted back and forth with the girl who needed to find a new tenant. She told me the room was mine and to send over my info sheet and that the agency would then send me a contract. I sent in my info and qaited for over a week with no response, I kinda concluded that they might have given the contract to someone else. I look for a new place, found one and signed the contract this Friday. Now the other girl texts me saying it's weird that the agency haven't responded and that she'll swing by their building today. I inform her that I have signed another room since I didn't hear back from the agency. Now her and her sister are acting like I'm the biggest asshole in the world cause they now don't have a tenant for next month. I was always taught that before a contract is signed there is no deal but they seem to think I've broken a promise or something. ######

NTA It’s not your fault or problem that they didn’t follow up, it’s theirs. You’re the client, if they cared they should have ensured you were taken care of. ######

A bit of context, my parents are divorced, but they always agreed what they do for one child, they do for the other. My older sister got a private tutor and also had driving lessons for 2 yrs which my parents split the cost for between them, but my dad refused to do for me because he said that maintence should cover the cost. I ended up not being able to get a tutor, but my mum managed to pay for driving but at a huge financial cost. While my sister has been at university, my dad has been giving her over £300 a month to help her. But he has told me he won't do the same for me because I was planning on working abroad and I had been told that if I worked abroad after graduating, I don't have to pay off student loans. I have found out since that I was told wrong and I will still have to pay it off and I emailed him telling him, but he never responded. When he told me he wasn't going to help, I was upset and went up to my room. His girlfriend came up and told me that I was being a brat about it. She also told me that he was probably going to lose his job which was why he wasn't helping me. Which would be a valid reason, except this all happened a few months ago and he's still not lost it, and he would've lost it by now, especially with the current situation, if he was gonna lose it. My mum emailed my dad after finding out his girlfriend called me a brat saying she didn't want me near her again which he didn't reply to, but she did calling me a liar, and I quote " if she (me) thinks the hat fits, she can wear it". My dad is still with her and it feels like he has chosen both her and my sister over me. My relatives are telling me that I'm making a big deal out of nothing and it's not his fault that he upsets me because he has aspergers so he doesn't realise that he's upsetting me, but after everything went down, I emailed him specifically telling him why and how it hurt me. Are my relatives right and I'm being an asshole and should just let it go? ######

NTA It’s is favoritism and you were right to call it out. At least now you know what to expect from him and you know how willing to help you he really is. Also the fact that he let his girlfriend talk to you like that makes him an extra asshole. ######

Throwaway account for privacy reasons. My (18M) girlfriend (19F) found out about 4 days ago that she didn’t get this dream job offer that she got an interview for. I spent the next day and half consoling and comforting her, after which she thanked me and said she felt better. The following night, I found out I got elected to a minor position in this organization I’m involved in. I mentioned it to her, she congratulated me, and then I changed the subject back to what our conversation was. Afterwards, she was more quiet and standoffish, and didn’t really want to talk anymore. This morning, she finally told me that she’s upset at me for making her feel worse about her job rejection by mentioning that I got elected. I said back that I’m sorry about that, but we had stopped talking about her job two days beforehand, and I only mentioned that I got the position for about a minute, and made no more conversation of it past that. She got more mad at me after I said that. AITA for mentioning it? I feel like a dick after hearing her but I also don’t think the manner I went about it was wrong. ######

NTA It’s fine for her to still be upset but if she cares for you she should want to celebrate your accomplishments and be happy for you. Her reaction sounds very self centred. ######

My(30M) brother(20M) and our parents always had a horrible relationship. Parents are conservative christians, brother is gay, you get the picture. I didn’t really have a close relationship with him either since I was in university in another country already when he was 10. The day he turned 18 he packed his stuff and left without saying a word to them. I talk to him occasionally, but he hasn’t talked to our parents in 2 years. I’m home now and yesterday was his birthday. Our parents remember it and they started saying that what he did was incredibly wrong, disrespectful, he didn’t love them etc etc. I genuinely asked if they really thought he’d love and respect them after years of them treating him like shit and said that it’s their fault that they don’t have a relationship now. They got mad,Dad blew up, he started yelling and saying that I was talking bullshit and I was being disrespectful too, taking his side. ######

NTA It’s easy to play the victim until someone reminds you of the truth. ######

I (10 M cat) was sleeping very comfortably in my owners' (36 M, 31 F) bed with them one evening when I suddenly had the urge to swat the guy with my paw a number of times and tickle him with my tail. For some reason he didn't take kindly to this, so he kicked me out of the bed, as he does many nights. He's a very mean person in this respect. So I naturally then just do my thing. Fifteen minutes later my owners' son (3 M) comes into their bed asking if he can sleep with them. The guy tells him he doesn't think it's early morning yet, and starts to help the kid back to bed, when he notices the kid is covered in pee. Naturally he thinks it was a bedtime accident, and so takes him to the bathroom to change his pajamas, give him a bath, and gently explain that he should be more careful about going to the bathroom before bedtime, but it's ok. The kid for some reason doesn't take kindly to second bath at 2AM with really bright lights while half-asleep, hearing about bathroom time yet again, and is very upset. After calming him down, the guy takes the kid to the couch so he could change the sheets....when he discovered there's no way the kiddo could have made such a big mess, and it clicked why the underwear wasn't even that wet. I'll own up to it: it was me. I peed in the kids bed. I was just so angry at being kicked out of their bed! But all of this could have been avoided if he just ignored my pawing and tickling, and let me have like a third of the bed to myself with him as a toy. Really, it's on him. AITA? ######

NTA It's your house and you own all the beds, as well as all the humans. Pee where tf you want. ######

My sister is having her high school graduation parade soon instead of the normal graduation due to coronavirus. Our school requires us to wear black under our gowns. She already has a black dress that fits her just fine. I have a black dress that I bought specifically for graduation last year. My sister and my mom want my sister to wear my dress instead of the one she already has. I suppose it may seem petty but I don’t really want to let her wear it if she already has something to wear and you won’t see the difference under a gown anyway. Normally I let my sister borrow stuff from my closet (she’s even worn a dress I bought for myself for homecoming before I got to wear it). The dress just means a lot to me because my grandma picked it out. I wear it for many special occasions and even interviews- it’s like a lucky dress. I want to be nice because of everything she’s going through because of coronavirus but she has been online shopping this entire pandemic and could have bought her own dress if she didn’t like the one she already has. Please advise. Thanks. ######

NTA It's your dress and being sentimental about it isn't a bad thing. You seem to be a caring sister so they should accept the fact that you want to keep this one thing to yourself. If they don't then they're being assholes since you are entitled to not sharing your stuff. ######

Took my 4 year old son to the park with my wife and her mum. Son has a little bike that’s his faithful companion everytime we go. He wanted to sit and watch some swans by the lake so we settled down on the grass nearby and left the bike directly behind us to get a closer look at the wildlife. I’m talking a couple of feet at most. A small girl similar in age to my son who had been sitting with her family (and who had been watching my son and the bike with interest when we came) got up while we weren’t facing her and took the bike. We hadn’t noticed until we turned around- and there she was with her family sat on it. My wife immediately said ‘excuse me, can we have our bike back?’ And the family laughed her off saying no no, kids play, kids play. They didn’t speak English very well so maybe they couldn’t pick up on the fact that wife and I were uncomfortable. My son obviously started getting upset because as far as he’s concerned someone’s stolen his bike. I asked for the bike back, again they laughed it off. I finally turned to the girl and told her to get off, she started crying and pushed off the bike and ran to her parent in a small tantrum. Obviously I had to sanitise the handles etc before giving it back to my son because of the climate and the family looked pretty irritated but didn’t say anything. My mother in law however berated both myself and my wife saying we were unbelievably rude and that I was ‘unnecessarily insulting’ the family by sanitising the bike in front of them and that I shouldn’t have taken the bike off the little girl, and ‘in her day’ people knew the meaning of community etc. ######

NTA It's your (and your son's) property and no one else has the right to take it. The little girl's family is being really irresponsible and disrespectful. ######

In typical Asian parenting fashion, my mother has always expected me to spend my entire life with her and support her when she gets older. It wasn't until my senior year of high school when I was applying for college that I finally stood up for myself. Soon as she found out that I wanted to live on campus, she started yelling and crying about how ungrateful I am and how much she loved me. Unfortunately, I couldn't handle it and caved in. So I commuted for all 4 years of college. I worked really hard in school so I could get a job after graduating and finally move out. But my junior year, my father got very sick and passed away. We had to sell our house and move into an apartment. My mom had not had a job for like 10 years so she was really struggling to support us and we had to live on the money we made from the house. After graduating, I got an internship about 3 hours away and surprisingly she supported me in moving into temporary housing for the summer. Soon as the internship ended, I got a job. My cousin and I started talking about moving in together since she was also looking to leave her home. My mom started yelling and crying again and she said some really horrible things to me that I don't want to mention. I caved again and agreed to live with her for a few months to help her get settled. It's been almost 8 months and she still doesn't have a job and her money is running out. I feel really guilty for wanting to leave her like this but I also just want live my life. ######

NTA It's time for you to ignore her screaming and crying. ######