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people,

الناس

claiming that I had a problem, and I saw that I was hiding it from her.

زعما راه عندي مشكل وانا راه مخبيه عليها

My man and I were in agreement

انا وراجلي كنا متفقين

that he had a problem, until one day she said to

ملي هو عنده مشكل حتى لواحد النهار قالت

me, "She's not my daughter. I wanted children." Your mother

لي مو ابنتي انا بغيت الوليدات ديالكم

kept hugging me and kissing me and seeing her. You were walking around after her. You

وبقت تعنقني وتبوس فيا وراه خاصكي تدوزي

had a problem with a cold. The important thing was that she

وراه عندك مشكل ديال البرد هذه المهم

diagnosed me and told me what you had and told me that I

شخصتني وقالت لي شنو عندك وقال لي انني

had the problem. I was on my terms. I told her, “My

عندي انا المشكل انا على نيتي قلت لها

aunt said, ‘I don’t even have a problem. Your son saw it. He

خالتي راه ما عندي حتى شيء مشكل راه ولدك

was with me,’ and the doctor told us that the problem is

كان معايا والطبيبه قالت لنا المشكل راه

with your son.” It's simple, it's

في ولدك ولكن بسيط هو

difficult, and I felt like I was dying, but thank God it was a

صعيب وحسيت بالموت لكن الحمد لله انه كانت

bad result, so I didn't have even a single problem, and I

نتيجه زوينه فما كان عندي حتى شيء مشكل

didn't have any blocked horns. The man,

وما كانوش عندي القرون المسدودين الرجل

because he's healthy, I have a polyp, and he told me to

لانه بصح عندي بوليب وقال لي باللي خاصك

remove it so that you can give birth to me. I went into the house

تحيديه باش تقدري تولدي امشي تدخل للدار

to my mother-in-law's house. I was a little relieved, because that radio

عند حماتي ارتحيت شويه لانه ذاك الراديو

was very difficult. The lady ran to me

كان صعيب بحال شي عمليه دارت لي الرفيسه

and took her son to the cabinet and said to him, “What are you? You

وجرات ولدها للكوزينه وقالت له وش انت

did the tests.” I went to them and they came out decorated for me,

درتي التحاليل درتهم وخرجوا لي مزيانين

but the wedding was over. I wish I was living in illusion.

ولكن العرس سولاته وليت عايشه في الوهم

I wish I were living in fear of what was coming

وليت عايشه في الخوف باللي انه غادي يجي

one day,

واحد النهار

since he didn’t have this service. We don’t have the

بحكم انه الخدمه ديالو ما عندوش فيها

holiday. Let’s go.

العطله نمشي

I had the Instagram of my man who Diyala was

انا كان عندي انستغرام تاع راجلي اللي كان

always on the phone at night. I became

ديما محلول في التليفون ديالي بالليل جيت

sleepy and he had tomorrow. It was Diallo

نعس وهو كان عنده الغد ليه عيد ميلاد

’s birthday, so I stayed silent until it reached 12 Diyala. The night was exhausted and

ديالو فخليت حتى وصلت 12 ديال الليل وهنته

he told me, “I am the wisher,” Diyala. He was coming

وقال لي انا الامنيه ديالي

out of coffee and saw someone shaking the

انه كان خارج من القهوه وراه هز واحد

girl who was wearing a tire, who had charms, and he

البنت اللي هي فرمليه اللي عندها المفاتن

took her to one of the tiles, which was far away, so he sat down.

ووصلها لواحد البلاصه بعيده يعني جلس

With her for a long time in the mobile phone, all my

معاها مده طويله في الطوموبيل بقيت كل

legs did not want to hold that feeling

رجلي مابغوش يحبسوا ذاك الاحساس عمرني ما

in my life. I had never felt it in my life. She kept crying at night and everything was

حسيته في حياتي بقيت تنبكي بالليل وكل شيء

sleepy and I couldn’t help knowing that

ناعس وما اقدرش

if there was a problem, you were the one who was

علما انه اذا كان فيه المشكل انت اللي

special to ask him for forgiveness, and he never asked for permission.

خاصك تطلبي منه السماحه وهو ابدا ما تسناي

Allow me something that is impossible to advance with.

منه اسمحي لي شيء اللي هو مستحيل ترقي مع

The end, until we arrived at the house, Mr.

الاخر حتى وصلنا للدار السيد

Imagine the house without any money, and you were quarreling with

تخيلوا الدار بلا دراري وانت مخاصمه مع

your man while he was in his kitchen. You became extremely bored.

راجلك وهو في قنته فقنت قمه الملل دازت

Those days came and the chips were brought to me and he walked

ذيك الايام وجاب الشيبس حطوا لي ومشى

home. He sat and watched the sound of the food.

للبيت الجلس يتفرج صوت الماكله حطيت عليه

I said to him, “I am going out, we will be late. If you go out, don’t come back

قلت له انا خارجه نتاخر اذا خرجتي ما

in. May

تعاوديش تدخلي لع

God make it a blessing.” Whenever

الله يجعل البركه علما انه وقت ما جات

my mother came to us without a guest, she did not like the

عندنا ماما غير ضيفه ما كاينش كيعجبها

situation because he did not attend with her and did not talk

الحال لانه ما كانش يهضر معها وما كيقلش

to her, nor did she make fun of her. We

معاها ما والو ما تيكبرش بها جينا على ذاك

came to that. My mother-in-law showed it to my brothers, but they had Corona and they were not able to go to her. They were afraid because they would hurt her, and I took the attitude of my man coming with me about this matter.

ياذوها واخذت من هذا الامر موقف راجلي هضر

He said to me: Don't try to come back, my house has been

معايا وقال لي ما تحاوليش ترجعي وداري راح

forbidden to you, and that thing between us and don't

حرمت عليك وذاك الشيء اللي بيناتنا وما

let the family enter it. I didn't understand

تخليش العائله يدخله حيث انا مفهمتش

overnight. In this situation, I started crying and went to

بين ليله وضحاها بحال هكا بديت كنبكي

my mother-in-law, who was like my mother, and I

ومشيت لعند حماتي اللي كانت في مثابه امي

returned everything to her. What was my home and what did I get? She

وعاودت لها كلشي واشنو دار لي واشنو حصلت

started crying and said to me, "I haven't left." We will let him

عليه بدات كتبكي وقالت ليا ما غاديش نخليه

separate from you, and if he does not leave her house, he will stay

تفرق عليك واذا دارها ما غاديش يبقى كيدوي

with me as a kid. My son cannot handle this Arafat. The

معي ولدي ما يقدرش يدير هادشي

truth is that you are an extra son to her. My

عرفات الحقيقه اللي كاينه انت ولد زيد

brothers cannot come to have dinner with her.

عليها خوتي ما قدروش يجيو يتعشاو لعندها

The important thing is that the wedding is approaching. My brother’s family and I, the one who walked,

المهم قرب العرس نتاع خويا وانا اللي مشيت

asked my husband for forgiveness and said to him, “Safi, allow

طلبت من راجلي السماحه وقلت له صافي اسمح

me.” It's okay, let's go back,

لي كنت كنبغي بالزاف وقلت له صافي نرجعوا

so we went back. She's still in the same situation, and she's still quarreling

فاش رجعنا هي بقى فيها الحال وبقات مخاصمه

with me, and she doesn't stop saying

معي وما بقاتش كتعيط ليا

hello to me. It's okay, and she says to me, 'Oh, bye, see, I have

سلام لاباس وتقول لي يلاه بسلامه راه عندي

nothing to do. This thing has been going on for a long time. In

ما يدار وهذا الشيء ماشي من عويده بحال

this state, I don't even talk to my mother. My brothers and my mother every

هكا ما بقاش حتى عند ماما اخوتي وماما كل

time they ask me to come with your mother-in-law. We'll stay all the time.'

مره يسولوني مع حماتك ما كتجيش انا كنبقى

Once upon a time, let's say, it was a long time ago

كل مره كنقول كنبدا كان راوخ دازت الايام

and we were in this situation. As I walked, I leaned

واحنا على هذا الشيء وانا مشيت حنيت لها

towards her and said to her, 'Goodbye, my aunt.

على يديها عليها وقلت لها عافاك يا خالتي

If I am dear to you, forget the problem.

اذا كنت عزيزه عليك انسي المشكل

Note that since the day we got married, Kendozo has been together for a week in

علما انه من نهار تزوجنا كندوزو اسبوع في

our house. After Kiji leads me to the house,

دارنا مجموعين من بعد كيجي يديني الدار

his parents walk to their house. We do not know. It's

والديه وهو يمشي لدارهم ما كنعرف عليه

impossible for him and it's also

والو وهو كذلك

impossible. We can't say it. Why did he live? It's not

مستحيل ما يمكنش نقولها ليه حيتاش اصلا

right. I've never walked through this secret without thinking about it.

ماشي بالصح عمرني ما مشيت هذا السر من غير

I have a problem and only have a solution. Nothing

لامه باللي انا عنده مشكل وعنده حل فقط لا

more or less. There were days when he came back to me from

اكثر ولا اقل دازت شيء ايام عاود جاتني من

our house. He quarreled with me. I didn't ask for a remedy. I knew

دارنا تخاصم معايا ما سولتوش علاج عرفت

he was telling the news and it was me. I made the mistake for

انه صق الاخبار وباللي انا اللي درت الغلط

3 days until one of them was not able to get along with the other, so

3 ايام حتى شي احد ما كايهضر مع الاخر

we go back again, we got up and cheated on him because

غادي نعاود مره اخرى نوض نغوت عليه لانه

we cannot live in this situation. Say what

ما يمكنش لنا نعيشو في هذه الحاله قل شنو

happened, and here he told me what his mother said to him, and here

كاين وهنا قال لي شنو قالت له امه وهنا

I made a contract with her. There were days of quarreling, and he started to

عقدت عليها دازت شي ايام مخاصمين غادي

lead me home on the way. I said He told him that she would come in

يديني للدار في الطريق قلت له غادي تدخل

with me and say to him, “Come on, let

معي وتقول لدرجه

us get up wisely.” He said to them, “I don’t want to

يلاه دخل نهضروا بالعقل قال لهم ما باغيش

get up, my brother’s father.” The situation remained in them, shaking the

نهضر بابا خويا بقى فيهم الحال يهزو لي

wheels of the mobile phone at me, and we put them in the house. After that, my

حوايج الطوموبيل وحطيناهم في الدار من بعد

mother and I would walk to the house. I wanted to

غادي نمشي انا وماما عندها للدار بغيت

change her lineage. I was jealous of her face, as her head was like an angel,

نسبها نغوت في وجهها حيث كادير راسها ملاك

but we walked away feeling that we had never met her. And we returned

ولكن مشينا نحسها اننا ما لقيناهاش ورجعنا