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CRD3-prerpocessed

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It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Caleb Widogast, a human wizard . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, you and the crewman make their way upstairs, fighting, and Jester joins in the fray as Caduceus makes it onto the boat, which still moving away from the harbor, and he drops the disguise. The crewman continues to attack as Jester and you try to convince him to put down his weapon. DM: 17 points of damage. (crash) Right in the back of the skull. He's like, "Ahh!", and you can see him holding back, he's holding the sword. He's hurt. But he's still coming at you. Player: (arrow noise) I am standing next to Fjord and Beau. DM: All right. With an immediate burst of speed in a rush, very akin to The Flash making his way through the city, Caleb just (poof!) appears there on top with Fjord and Beau. Player: Feels good, man. DM: The guy who's now looking at you, Jester, you see the guy had his sword out and, "Ah!", looks confused and sees you and goes, (growls) and is going to come up with the sword. He doesn't realize how fucked he is. He doesn't know that the ship has been taken. He's feeling pretty competent. Player: He's the only one having a worse day than us. DM: Probably. All right, so on that, he's going to go ahead and make his way towards you, Jester. He comes up and is going to make two swings at you.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Percival de Rolo, a human gunslinger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Scanlan throws out a fireball, hitting two of the lackeys. The mage uses Misty Step and Scanlan tries to counterspell his attack, inspiring himself with fusaka. DM: So the first shot with this is going to be 12 points of piercing damage from the first strike, plus two psychic, as the impact hits you and you feel this shocking ring in your head. You see a flash suddenly in your mind of the dark-shadowed face of Orthax laughing. Player: 14 points total? DM: Yes. Player: All right. DM: Second shot, which is a Violent Shot, on hit has double dice value. So that's 18 points of piercing damage. Player: I'm going to try and slow it down with a catch. DM: Okay. Plus four psychic. Player: So I'm going to try and lower that 18. DM: Go for it. Player: Ooh! I lower it by 14 points. DM: Okay. You catch the bullet, and for the most part it still pierces through. Player: So four points of damage plus four psychic. DM: Plus four psychic so eight total.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Tiberius Stormwind, a dragonborn sorcerer . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Upon gaining consciousness, Grog drowns his sorrows in the familiar comforts of ale and whores. As Vox Machina are taking breakfast the next morning, they hear a horn blast signaling an attack on the city. DM: Yep. It did seem to heal a bit of its wounds as the heads pull out of it. It has a sense of regeneration. Player: And I go, oh no you don't. And I stick out my ring and Chain Lightning him again. DM: Chain Lightning is a 6th-level spell. Player: Yeah, I know, and I had one stored in my ring. DM: Your ring can only store up to a 3rd-level spell. We went over this last time. It's okay. Player: No, I thought that was the Ioun Stone. We all learned something today, kids. I don't do that. Instead, fine. I'm going to cast Telekinesis once. And I'm instantly going to do quicken spell and do five sorcerer points to cast it immediately again. Cast it on one head and another head and (bashing, tying sounds). To try and wrap them all and choke them. DM: Go ahead and roll an arcana check for the first one.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vex Vex'ahlia, a half-elf ranger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Tary purchases a few healing potions and a Scroll of Fire Shield from Cyric. While the shopkeeper leaves to gift-wrap the potions, they hear a loud clang from outside; Doty has knocked out the two guards who were following them. DM: But you could ask around and try to find somebody. It'll take a little time. You guys are right now hitting the cusp of dawn. Sorry, dusk. Player: Is there somewhere I could find before things close? Just to see? DM: Make an investigation check. Player: Oh, balls. That's terrible. DM: What did you roll? Player: I rolled 13. DM: You manage to find one location, but it's been closed for half an hour when you get there.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Grog Strongjaw, a goliath barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Vax sneaks ahead to get a closer look around the room. As nothing happens, Percy then leads the way forward onto the platform. DM: So Grog, go up to the top? You make it to the very top of the stairs, and there is the anvil there before you, and the heat you can feel. You know when you're close to an explosion and there's that brief minute of extremely uncomfortable heat that you flinch? It's that, perpetually and all of you are sweating masses beneath your armor. You're afraid at certain points that your eyebrows are beginning to singe and curl. It's hard to breathe because the air is so hot and so thick, and occasionally you can't help but find yourself coughing at the caustic black smoke that fills a large portion of the chamber. Player: I am consciously checking my beard. DM: Okay. As you approach the top of the stairs, the head looks down at you. What do you do? Player: Am I standing at the anvil now? DM: You're standing right at the edge of the stairs, the very top of the platform, and the anvil's maybe five feet in front of you. You can see all the chains that are hanging on the side and dangling off the sides of the platform. Player: Can I see where the chains are leading or are they just dangling off? DM: The platform is about 20 feet wide and so the chains that are all hooked at multiple places to the edges and the outside part of the anvil are taut and then dangling off the edge of the platform. So you can't see where it goes. You know one of them is the hammer, because that's what he let fly off the side.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vax Vax'ildan, a half-elf rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, He loses concentration on Bigby's hand. you flies down and grabs Pike then rolls them to the mansion door. DM: Okay. You are leaving his combat range in doing so, so he's going to get his attack of opportunity on you, as part of his bite strike against you. That is 18 plus 14, so 32. Player: That hits. Do I have momentum, grabbing her? DM: If it drops you, you drop, and you drop with her. Player: I would imagine I did this. That's the intention. Up and over. DM: I understand that. The attack of a bite is going to change your trajectory of a dragon slashing at you. That is eight-- Player: I'm out, dude. I've got five hit points. DM: Total would be eight plus eight, plus an additional 4d6 cold damage. Yeah. You grab Pike. As you begin to try to make the way, the bite snatches into you and lifts you up and throws you to the ground next to Pike, and you're both there on the ground. Player: But he bit me, right? DM: Yes, didn't bite Pike. You're both right outside of the door right now.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Beauregard Lionett called Beau, a human monk . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, They move stealthily towards the campsite. you approached first, and the adult (a Firbolg) reads her mind to assess if the party are a threat. DM: Her immediate tension drops slightly. She's still maintaining a very defensive position in front of the child. One hand is still up, but it seems that she's pulled back a bit from the aggressive stance she was previously in. As she lifts her face a bit, you can see a bit more of her expression in the light as the hair pulls away as she lifts her chin. You can see that the face is humanoid, but with a wider nose. The skin is grayish, almost a blue tint, with bits of a soft fur. It takes you a second to recognize where you've seen these features before. This appears to be the same type of race that Pumat Sol is. Player: Firbolg? DM: It is a firbolg. Player: Amazing! DM: You can see there is a series of necklaces that looks to be bones and rocks and stones that have been polished that dangle around her neck as adornments and trinkets. A few bird skulls hanging on it, as well. The child, also you see, is a young firbolg, as well. Knees tucked against his chest. You can see that the child looks scraped up and bruised, and appears to have been injured. Player: I say, Bad guys kidnapping kids, right? That's scary stuff. Trying to protect your son? DM: "Not my son, but we have lost a few, yes." Player: Who-- DM: Looks past you, for a second, to Molly, who is not being stealthy, either. "How many are you?"

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Grog Strongjaw, a goliath barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, After slamming his feet into the sand and preparing himself for conflict, he beckons you towards him. you faces off with Earthbreaker Groon. DM: He just kind of like parries it to the side, ducks under and rights himself, just out of your grasp. Player: Cool, that was nice. Do I have a second attack? DM: Yeah. Player: Two-handed great weapon master, please. DM: Okay, go for it. Player: That's not going to hit. 24. DM: 24 hits. Player: Oh, it does? DM: Yeah.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vex Vex'ahlia, a half-elf ranger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Uvenda suggests that Vox Machina take some time to practice fighting underwater before they go into the rift. DM: (bear noises) He kinda lands in the sand. Looks around, very nervously. Looks at one of the nearby kinda floating pieces of weird errant plant matter and-- (all laugh) Player: Yeah. We're good? Are you all right? DM: "I'm okay." Player: All right. Just giving you a heads up; you may be turned into a whale in a little bit. DM: "What is a whale?" (all laugh) Player: You'll be really, really big and you'll be able to swim a lot better. All right? Just remember to follow my lead. And I'm gonna hang onto you when you are a whale, all right? DM: "Okay." Player: Okay. I love you. DM: "I trust you." Player: I trust you, too. I love you. DM: "Love you." Player: I'm proud of you. DM: "Okay."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Grog Strongjaw, a goliath barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The party completed the venture of taking the Horn of Orcus to a place of safety and sealing it away, hopefully for eternity, with the help of Lady Kima and two of the Scalebearers. After heading to the basement of the Platinum Sanctuary in the city of Vasselheim, they succeeded in doing so. DM: The blood's pouring down the front of his face and his throat. You clip him right in the center of his throat. You hear the coughing sound as he, with his other hand, reaches up and grabs his throat. You can now see his front teeth visible through the lip that's no longer there. And what's your third strike? Player: Would you say that he bends forward, then, because he's grabbing his throat like that? DM: He's tough. He's bending forward, but he's not completely incapacitated. He's in pain. Player: Right, I would say I go up next to him and invoke a fabled hero that I heard about in the woods named Macho Man Randy Savage, and I double-tap my elbow and drive it down on top of his head. DM: All right. Go ahead and roll damage on this one. Player: Thank you. Six. DM: Six. So as you leap up, using the goliath weight coming down, you double-tap the elbow and you bring it down on top of his head. He, from the sheer force of it (wham) slams down face-first into the dirt, just like that. Onto the ground. As he's getting up, he's looking kind of rough.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Nott the Brave, a goblin rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The hired crew begins to run belowdecks and hide. Two harpies try to pick up members of the crew. DM: Eight points of damage. Yeah, that'll do it. As it's flying away, it gets about ten or so feet up, and the deckhand is screaming "Ah! Help me!" Player: I've got you, nameless deckhand! DM: The bolt hits it, spins in the air, a cluster of feathers, then slams down hard on the deck of the ship. The deckhand also hits, and rolls, and hits the side of the ladder that leads up to the poop deck. He's like (groaning) and now starting to freak out looking at the other harpies that are circling. There's still five of them. Player: I'll use my movement to run over to the deckhand and be like: You're okay now! DM: "Ah!" Player: You're fine! DM: All right. Fjord?

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Jester Lavorre, a tiefling cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The lights shift and the beautiful Ruby of the Sea descends the staircase and begins gently singing, entrancing the audience with her enchanting voice. DM: You hear a voice from behind her go, "I'm sorry, what?" From peeking over her shoulder as your vision focuses into the chamber beyond, low lit beyond the series of candles that are set around the single mirror. You see the beautiful red skin of your mother and the dark hair tumbled past the shoulder as she's been wearing a mostly laced up bodice, as the other servant is in the process of lacing and tying it. Glances over her shoulder and pushes past the edge of the chair. Player: It's me! DM: You see her smile brightly, her faintly white glowing hint of yellowish-gold tint to her eyes brighten immediately and goes, "Well, come in! Please, close the door." Player: Excuse me, Nadine. DM: Nadine closes the door and goes, "I'm very confused by this, Mistress, but whatever you require." At which point, the other one who's lacing is still pulling on the back of the bodice, and without even looking at her Marion pushes her aside, "Shh." Player: I run forward and give her a big hug. DM: As you give her a hug, she holds you there and goes, "You look different." Player: (whispers) It's a spell! I'm actually still me, don't worry. DM: There's a nod and the tension in her body melts as her arms close around your shoulders and back and pulls you in close. This moment of warmth and relief that washes over both of you and being reunited here in this chamber. The two servants sit in the back, awkwardly not quite understanding entirely either and whispering to each other, while Marion continues to hold you and rock you back and forth. "My beautiful Jester, I have missed you so much." Player: I missed you so much! I wanted to come home sooner, but we got distracted because we went to the Empire. DM: "I remember you telling me you telling me you were going to go there." Player: Oh that's right, I sent you messages! Yeah! DM: "How was it? I have not traveled beyond the boundaries." Player: It's really cold and the people are pretty strict, but there's some really nice people that you can meet. I met a lot of friends! You should meet them. DM: "I'd be happy to." Player: They're downstairs! DM: She traces her fingers down your face. Player: Here! I put her hand on my horn so she can tell it's there. DM: She feels it. "Can I see my little girl?" Player: Is it okay with--? DM: "They're fine." You drop the illusion and even though she knew, it wasn't until she gets an opportunity to look upon your face, and your hair, and your eyes, and your smile that you watch life breathe in like a renewed fire into the chest of your mother. Immediately she grabs the sides of your cheeks and pulls you in, "I've missed you so much." Brings you in, and kisses you on the forehead, and starts running her fingers through your hair. Player: Be careful of the weasel. His name is Sprinkle, Mama. DM: "He is very adorable."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vex Vex'ahlia, a half-elf ranger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The frost worm bites Keyleth, who casts Blight as payback and heals herself. Vax asks Pike for healing, then hits the visible worm. DM: As you go to the gate, it's opened up and you can see there, standing by himself, Seeker Asum. Hood back, bald halfling helm with his tattoos greeting you. He goes, "Hello, Vex." Player: Hi. DM: "I've come to request your presence at the Precepts Stage within the Cloudtop District near dusk. All of Vox Machina, this evening, if you don't mind." Player: Oh. Well, why? DM: "Uriel and I have been in extensive discussion these past few days, and the reveal of Riskel's betrayal has had a profound effect on Uriel, and rumors have been spreading amongst the district and the higher order of the city. Uriel is to make a statement regarding it and to prevent any political intrigue will talk to the politically inclined populace first. As members of the council, we would like for you to be there to help us based on the reaction. If you would be so kind?" Player: Yes, of course. I'll tell the rest of the group. We were planning on heading out to Whitestone today, but we can put that off if it's very important? DM: "It's rather important." Player: All right. What were you guys fighting about before? Can you tell me? DM: "It's nothing you need to worry about." Player: Really? It looked kind of serious. DM: "I think tonight's discussion will absolve any questions you have." Player: Is anybody in trouble? DM: "No. You're fine. You've done nothing."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Keyleth, a half-elf druid . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Scanlan, who was in front of you, quickly casts Dominate Monster and succeeds in taming the gloomstalker. With it now under his control, he names it Mr. Mistoffelees and orders it to call off the hunt. DM: Okay. Natural 19 plus three. So, as you shift down into the tiny mouse-like form, its claws immediately slam into and sink into the mouse body. Yeah, that's a 23 to hit. Player: Yeah. Immediately poof. DM: How much hit points does your mouse form have? Like one? Player: I'm assuming no more than a kitten's worth. DM: Right, so yeah. So, we'll say for the purposes, one. So that would be 16 points of piercing damage, so your form immediately reverts, its claws now fill with your regular Keyleth form. You take 15 points of piercing damage, Keyleth, and you are grappled. Player: Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool story. Cool. DM: As soon as it grabs you, it begins to pull you out of the tunnel and lift with you in its claws.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Pike Trickfoot, a gnome cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, As Grog asks where the skull is now, Allura joins the group to assure him it is beyond any of their reach now. Allura offers to help you check in on her temple. DM: Retracted immediately. As she was here helping defend, she didn't waste her 8th-level slot, she is able to get you guys all flying for the moment and you all coast. As she finishes casting the spell, you could see some of the nearby wardens of the Platinum Sanctuary go, "Um--" "I know it's arcane, shut up. It's fine." You all take off the steps and begin to glide down over to the city, and there you can already see people are coming out of their homes. Exactly. So eventually, you find your way north to the Quadroads, towards the base of the Heaven Stair Mountain, where the temple resides. The temple looks like it's sustained a little bit of damage. It looks like a portion of the upper floor of the three-tier tower-- Colosseum-esque, but it does taper a bit towards the top. The top part has partially fallen in and it looks like it's seen wear and tear, but it doesn't look like it's been destroyed or anything. As you come up to the temple, you can already see there are refugees of homes that were destroyed from the incursion of the Braving Grounds that are being gathered in and the temple's filled with people. On the outside, you see Gesyra, the older woman who helped you found the temple and build it. As she approaches, she's now one of the Priests of Rebirth and has been working with you for some time and turns and sees your face. You can see her graying hair, which is bunned up very tightly in the back. She has her spectacles and she has the long robes of blue and gold. She sees you. "My Pike!" She rushes up and gives you a hug. She's much bigger than you, being a human, but her posture puts her almost on your level. "I'm so glad you're safe." Player: It's so wonderful to see your face. DM: "We've housed who we can. We're a bit at capacity at the moment." Player: Okay. Well, it looks a bit better than I thought it would. DM: "We did our best to defend. Is it done?" Player: It's done. DM: You see her eyes crack at that moment and tears begin to flow. She smiles. "I knew you could do it." Player: Well, we all did. DM: She looks around at the rest of you, pats you on the head for a minute and pulls away and goes, "You get to wear the greatest outfits, don't you?" Player: (giggles) DM: "Well, anything you need, food, we have room for a few more."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Beauregard Lionett called Beau, a human monk . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Caleb grapples it with Earthen Grasp. It manages to clean the tar off the lens, and breaks Caleb's concentration on the grapple by pinning him against the wall with a blade through the chest. DM: The second one, you strike again. This time, one of the blades swings outward, and thankfully, the blade doesn’t hit the staff to cut the wood, however, it does, the backhand, impact it and prevent the blow from actually striking its body. Player: Two twos. DM: That’s not fun. Player: I guess I will do an unarmed attack. DM: You go and punch the armored sphere. Player: So frustrated that I can’t get my staff up there, I’m just going to go and try and whack it with my fist. DM: Go for it. Player: 17, which just misses. DM: It just misses. Well, not so much a miss. You hit it, but you go (metallic clang), "Oh!" You can feel that from the knuckles right to the funny bone. Player: Do I have any more movement? DM: From there, you have ten feet. Player: Can I back up towards, or even get this-- I’m just going to stay where I am. DM: Okay. Finishing Beau’s turn, that brings us to Nott and Molly--

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Tiberius Stormwind, a dragonborn sorcerer . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, There, they find a cave filled with magical darkness. Keyleth shifts into an earth elemental to scout the cave, finding that it contains a strange planar rift and a group of grick. DM: Interesting! Okay. So Clarota, at this time, is also going to attempt a Mind Blast on the creature. It moves to the back of the boat and while it's currently grappled, he's going to attempt that. The saving throw does succeed, so it only takes half damage. Okay. Marking that. And then as you do Telekinesis. Roll a d20 plus five. Player: Okay. And do I have advantage because of the grapple? DM: The grapple does not give you advantage, no. So you have disadvantage on the roll, technically, because you are scared of it. Player: And that's my what? DM: Plus five. Player: 17. DM: 17? All right. So! As you focus your energy once again-- even just facing this creature is a terrifying thing-- you see that one gleaming bit of red that's piercing through the darkness. The secondary form around it dissipates. Where there was once two gliding, one of them vanishes entirely as that gleaming red is suddenly much brighter, yanked from its socket. It now gives out another painful screech (screeches) as it is blinded, being crushed by a Bigby Hand, and you now have drifting amongst you at your control one of the eyes of this creature. (all laugh)

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Jester Lavorre, a tiefling cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, He wakes after a very restful night's sleep. Fjord accompanies Horris to the city gates only to find that the crownsguard are interviewing everyone leaving the city. DM: You find your way there. Yannick is inside currently, working on hammering out the edges of a piece of armor. "Hello. Can I help you?" Player: Yes. Do you make anything out of lead? DM: "I mean, I certainly can. Depends what you're hoping to have made." Player: Could you perhaps make me a really pretty-- so, my mother is a big fan of things made out of lead. She said she likes the color of that metal. DM: "That's a very curious liking, but sure, I'll take it." Player: She gets a lot of things in gold and stuff and so she says that lead looks very different from that and she thinks it's pretty. DM: "Hey, I'm not judging." Player: So I want to make her a really pretty jewelry box out of lead. DM: The halfling scratches his temple and goes, "Well, I mean, if you're willing to pay, I can make it." Player: Okay! It's like she has a lot of jewelry, so something like around this big. DM: "It's going to be a lot of lead, and a few days to make it."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Fjord, a half-orc warlock . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, He wakes after a very restful night's sleep. you accompanies Horris to the city gates only to find that the crownsguard are interviewing everyone leaving the city. DM: Okay. You guys get to get your breakfast started and such. You guys begin to walk, heading southward, since that was where the Alfield suggestion was, making your way. The general bustle is still happening. There's still not a lot of crownsguard on the street corners you're used to seeing them posted at, and as you make your way towards the southern portion of the Interstead Sprawl, to the southern gate, you can see why. The exit gates are swarming with crownsguard. The portcullis is down, with the smaller side doors open, and every person who enters and exits is being interviewed and being checked as to whether or not they're allowed to leave. It seems that lock-down is very serious during this investigation. Horris immediately clamps up and grabs your arm and goes, "I don’t-- I don't know--" Player: Stay casual, stay calm, just turn and we're going to slowly start walking back. Just act normal. DM: "Okay." You both slowly make your way through that intersection and back, and no one seems to pay much mind. They're consumed with the current hustle and bustle at the gate. As you guys are walking back, Horris is like, "Is there another way out? Is there someone, something you know--" Player: There always is. And if all else fails, there's the sewers. You're not opposed to getting a little dirty to get out of town, are you? DM: "No, no, no." Player: We'll want to wait until we have more of the others, just in case. I'm afraid the sewers might be being cased as well, so stay put for a little while longer, we'll find you a quiet spot in the Leaky Tap, but let me check with the others. DM: "Okay, okay." All right. As you guys are getting the rest of your morning on, what do you want to do?

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vex Vex'ahlia, a half-elf ranger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The party then retrieved their first artifact and then made their way towards the Pyrah tribe of the Ashari druids, the fire guardians of the gate to the Elemental Plane of Fire, which apparently Thordak, the Cinder King—the great red dragon that helms the Chroma Conclave that has torn through all of the civilization of Tal'Dorei —emerged from. The party went there, found a surviving faction of the Pyrah tribe including Cerkonos, their headmaster, as well as a few members of Keyleth's tribe, the Air Ashari, and her father. DM: You can see there's some heavy bruising on his face and part of his cheek is swollen. He goes, "It would be hard around these parts to find someone who likes a dragon, let alone that one." Player: Good. DM: "Not the worst of the worries right now, though." Player: What's the worst? DM: "The ones who work for him." Player: Right. So you have to provide food for everybody living in the city? Is that how that goes? DM: "Every one of them. Otherwise they just go ahead and steal from whoever's nearby. Isn't a caravan that's made their way past Westruun in the past week." Player: Well, here's the thing. We're trying to help you. We're trying to find a way to (clicking) (choking) kill the fucks. You get me? Ill-kay the agons-dray. DM: Drops the fruit he has in his hand. "Please! Please help us, please!" Player: Act natural! Keep picking, keep picking, keep picking! We want to help you. We really, really, really want to help you. DM: "They have my daughter."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Nott the Brave, a goblin rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Jester sees this. Matt realizes at this point that the Lesser Restoration Caduceus cast on Beau last episode should have cured her disease, so it kicks in now. DM: That's what I get for fast reading. Going, "Oh well, it doesn't list that among the conditions" but disease is not a condition. That's my fault. Player: As we're mounting up or getting ready to do something, I'm going to go over to Jamedi Cosko and just say: Hey, Jamedi. DM: He's sitting there. Player: Wow, that was a tough battle. DM: He's inspecting the side of the walls and the carvings. Player: Oof, I need a drink. Do you want one? DM: "I am okay, but I appreciate the offer." Player: You do drink liquids, don't you? DM: "I do on occasion, yes." Player: Well then, why wouldn't you want a nice little nip of something? DM: He turns back towards you with a curious glance and says-- Player: It's really good. DM: "I'm sober." Player: I have some jerky. Do you want a little nibble? You do eat food, don't you? DM: His eyes narrow. "Yes, I would love some jerky."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Percival de Rolo, a human gunslinger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, In the Feywild, Scanlan lays forth Vax’s empty armor for Vex to see. Keyleth says she may be able to bring him back, but the spell would consume 25,000 gold pieces’ worth of diamonds -- which they do not have. DM: As this is happening, you watch as he's looking at it and this hand goes up and starts clawing into his own eye socket. Player: I'm going to use every dex I have. I'm going to slap fucking hard. DM: Dex isn't going to help you so much as it's going to be a strength thing. Go ahead and make an athletics check. For you, for this, this would be an acrobatics to try and dodge out of the way. Player: Strength check? DM: Athletics. Player: Oh, athletics, that's better. DM: You're trying to slap it out of his grasp.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vax Vax'ildan, a half-elf rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Across from the entrance is a set of wooden doors which he listens at. He hears nothing, but notices that the door is unlocked. DM: Okay, as you do so she kinda stops and looks back over her shoulder and gives a begrudging nod. But you can see she's-- there's shaking, her hand holding the greatsword is currently shaking with rage. Player: I say-- (silent) Two words, three syllables. DM: All right, so. Coasting down this hallway. It leads down to an open doorway and a closed doorway immediately to your right. And then the room to-- actually, the doorway's to your left, and to the right you see another wall to another room that you don't have a doorway currently available. Player: There's a door to my left and a door straight ahead, right? DM: Correct. Player: Okay, I inch up to the closed door on the left and place my ear to the door and listen. DM: Okay, go ahead and make a perception check.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Grog Strongjaw, a goliath barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The party completed the venture of taking the Horn of Orcus to a place of safety and sealing it away, hopefully for eternity, with the help of Lady Kima and two of the Scalebearers. After heading to the basement of the Platinum Sanctuary in the city of Vasselheim, they succeeded in doing so. DM: If you're going to do grundle damage. So as he's reeling and tries to reach out, swiping a back-fist into open air, you rush up and (whack) hit him with sheer force that you hear a unanimous (groans) in the crowd all around echo down. His knees immediately bend in towards each other, and you can see the sound escape instinctively from him, it's like, (wheezes). As you reel for your second strike, which is going to be? What's the second one you do? Player: Well, did he drop to his knees? DM: No, he's still standing, but barely. Player: Oh, really? Yeah, same place. DM: You pull back and (whack) a second time in the same spot, this sending him onto the ground from behind. He is currently prone. Okay, that's rough. Player: Literally trying to see him cough a testicle. DM: Well, regardless of what happens, there's going to be a search. You're going to need a scouting party to find where one of them went. So at the top of his turn, gets up and wipes dirt crust from his eyes, reeling from the impact. Uses half his movement to get up and staggers toward you as you're just welcoming it. Looks up at you for a second and says, "You shouldn't have done that, tall guy." At which point, he goes and lunges for your midsection a second time. Misses with that strike, as you dodge out of the way he spins around and attempts to back-kick you to the torso. That will hit. A 26. And that one is going to-- That's going to be six points of damage to you from the back-kick, and as his foot comes down, he's still reaching for his groin from the sheer pain, he just rushes forward and attempts to bite into your shoulder. That's going to be a 20. Player: He rolled a 20? DM: Not a natural 20. Just a total of 20. He's rolled a lot of 20s. That's going to be seven damage as he sinks his teeth into the side of your shoulder and neck area. And tears a chunk of your flesh out of the sides of his mouth, now, in the muscle. So you reel back in pain and you're both clutched in this gladiatorial grip. It's your go.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vex Vex'ahlia, a half-elf ranger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Vax walks along the wall, unable to attack from a distance, and heads to Scanlan. Grog directs his attention to the remaining horror and smashes it twice with the warhammer. DM: I'll say yeah, you can see him all right. You can move over there and get a better view a little bit. Just around this corner, off the table. Player: And I'm going to Hunter's Mark him. DM: Hunter's Mark him? Player: And then I'm going to shoot him. DM: Okay, go for it. Player: Oh gosh, I'm just so nervous about picking the 20. No. 19? DM: 19? The arrow hits the armor and shatters across the side.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Caduceus Clay, a firbolg cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Nott and Jester jump overboard as the crewman leaps from the crow's nest to the deck, breaking a leg and screaming, creating an uproar on deck. Nott and Jester make it safely to shore and stroll away to the tavern, joined shortly by Caleb and Beau. DM: Glancing over, you don't see any torch-bearing guards, but you do see a figure that is doing a visual pass on the deck of the ship. Player: I might see if there's a torch-bearer walking around really quickly. DM: You see one that's maybe 25, 30 feet from you that's just walking through the street. Player: Excuse me, sir. DM: Turns around. "Hey." Player: We had a little trouble on our ship earlier. I was curious if everything was all right. I heard a little commotion. DM: "I don't know. It's not my jurisdiction tonight." Player: Well, if I wanted to find out what went down do you know who I would talk to? DM: "Probably one of the guys closer to the ship." Player: I'll be right back. DM: "Okay." Player: I'm going to go find a guard and ask them what's up. DM: Okay.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Tiberius Stormwind, a dragonborn sorcerer . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The party, after essentially forcing this individual to reveal themself, the rakshasa fled through a tunnel underneath its room into a long subterranean tunnel fraught with traps that were set to protect it. The party managed to avoid these rather deftly until the steady decline of the hallway, combined with the increasing moisture and scent of refuse, caused a slick surface and our fantastic cleric, Brother Kash, Kashaw, slipped and fell down. DM: Next to him? Okay, you will get free strikes from both the rat swarms, currently, because you'll be passing through there and out of their melee range. You cool with that? Player: No, I'm not. Can I take a step back? DM: You can. This guy will still get an attack of opportunity on you. Player: Really? I thought I could move five feet. DM: You can use an action to disengage. Player: Okay. I won't do anything. Here's what I'm going to do instead. I'm sorry, I don't know what was wrong. I've been off, and I apologize for how I've been sounding. What I'm going to do is I'm going to lift my finger and I'm going to aim behind that three-headed bastard and I'm going to release a 4th-level Fireball. DM: Over here? Player: Yes. DM: Show me with your laser pointer where you want the impact to be. Player: Behind him where it won't hurt Keyleth and will just hurt him. Wherever that is. DM: Okay. I'd say that'd probably be right around this area here. Player: I'm going to immediately spend two sorcery points and quicken spell, and I'm going to turn around and do three Scorching Rays to follow up the Fireball right at that dude, each head. DM: Okay. Player: I'm going to, on that spell, spend another-- DM: Wait up, let's do the Fireball first. Player: Okay. DM: One thing at a time. So as you use your ring, you focus. The ray streaks past. Slams into the wall behind (explosion sound) with a deafening roar, and you guys definitely hear this. The hallway in the distance suddenly brightens up, and you can see a bit of flame roll up, and the scent of smoke comes wafting past you as a wave of heat blasts through the tunnel.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Nott the Brave, a goblin rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Caduceus, Caleb, Jamedi, and you ran towards the stairs to the outside. Beau and Jester waited by the well for Fjord. DM: I'd allow it. Because we'll say you're like-- You were standing on the water so as you're leaning over the surface you're like squeezing it out. Player: 16 to hit again. DM: Nice. Player: Another 11 points of damage. DM: 11 points of damage, good. So, I now need everyone to roll initiative. Player: If I'm on top of the water, how much space do I have? DM: Well, now you don't anymore. The water surface begins to crush underneath you and then you have to delve underneath as it meets it. It's filled up and it's now making its way up the stairs, towards the top of the temple. So, 25 to 20, anyone?

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Pike Trickfoot, a gnome cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The Prismatic Wall disappears, and they are able to watch as she steps safely through the annihilation orb and out of sight. you, momentarily unaffected by Feeblemind due to the anti-magic field from the orb, prays to Sarenrae for guidance. DM: 22. As you concentrate, you feel the warmth of Sarenrae's embrace descend from the darkness of the inside of your eyelids. You see the angelic form of her flaming aura come down and her hands touch the sides of your cheek. She turns your head around towards the orb. And, where previously you saw the little black dot, instead, you see a large oval doorway. Around it, it is flickering madly like a hundred spinning razors around the edges, but just beyond it you can see what appears to be a desolate, gray landscape, what looks to be a scattering of city buildings across this broken, black shadowland, and in the center a singular black obsidian tower that rises up to where you can't quite see the top from your current angle. And she gets down really close to the side of your ear. You feel the warmth of her divine breath against your face. She says, "This is the destiny. This needs to stop. Only terror will come through this." Player: We have to go there? DM: "Whatever way you can. Our reach cannot go beyond the Divine Gate." Player: If I go there, will you not be able to go with me? DM: "I will be diminished, if at all able to." Player: Okay. Thank you. DM: And her finger touches your head and she kisses the top of your forehead and you feel the warm presence again, and she withdraws. As she withdraws, the cold is even harder with her absence because now the proximity of that shadow, of this room, just this general sense of negative energy and death that emanates from this direction behind you. As soon as you watch her light vanish and you open your eyes again, you're chilled to the bone.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Fjord, a half-orc warlock . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The one criminal in Port Damali that the Gentleman can recommend is Father Dwondaff Pierce: a dwarven Cleric of the Changebringer, who operates a house of worship called The Pearl Shrine . If you wants Pierce's help and the Gentleman's help, he should tell Father Pierce that he brings many gifts . DM: "Dwarven fellow. Scraggly in the face. Dresses well. He helms the Pearl Shrine, a house of worship to Avandra, the Changebringer. Tell him that you bring many gifts." Player: I bring many gifts. DM: "Should you not work with Father Pierce and his network, be careful. You could easily find yourself on an opposing side to my business, and I do not take kindly to betrayal." Player: Indeed, I wouldn't dare. After all, you do have a little way of keeping track of where we are and what we do. DM: "That I do." Player: I appreciate your help in this matter. Hopefully we can be of some service to you down there. DM: "If something comes to mind, I'll send it your way." Player: Please do. DM: "And if anything comes to mind that would be of interest to my ears, business or otherwise, please keep me informed."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vax Vax'ildan, a half-elf rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Bear-Keyleth does a somersault causing Balgus to double over with laughter. The jovial air is restored to the tavern and Vex picks up a cup to collect tips. DM: "Yeah, there's a happy growl! Oh, it's been so long since I've been outside!" A little tear on the edge of his face. As you approach up his side-- Player: Arm around his shoulder. DM: Immediately, instinctively, he slaps it off his arm and turns around. Player: Take this! You are an impressive specimen, my good man. I have never had a fight that amazing in at least a week. That was something to see. Here, take this, and after this one there's three more. DM: He's drunk, you're offering him ale, and he's been laughing at a bear for two minutes. Make a persuasion roll with advantage. Player: Yeah! Persuasion, you say? 15. DM: Two rolls, yeah, you have advantage. Player: Oh! 15. DM: 15! He looks at you with this big grin, and you can now see his gnarled, yellow dwarven teeth, this railroad of terror that his mouth is. This big smile. He reaches out, his beard poofing over the side, grabs it and goes, "See, now this is dwarven hospitality!" He lifts his drink up and it spills a little bit on his arm. He's like, "Hey!" Everyone lifts up and cheers again. (cheering) Everyone still keeps drinking through the fog. It's like a bad sauna in here right now. Everyone's fighting their way through. At which point now, Balgus slaps you on the shoulder, takes a drink, and wanders out of the fight ring, goes and finds a table to sit down and begin chugging what you gave him.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Pike Trickfoot, a gnome cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Vex goes to the center of town to find Yennen, who tells her she will have to meditate under the Sun Tree to be granted a vision of her quarry. From there, she will track down the quarry and decide its fate, preferably bringing back some manner of trophy. DM: All right. You walk up and, I mean, the city's starting to slowly spring to life as the morning hours climb forward. People are arriving and putting the last touches on the caravan. The Pale Guard is finished and they've assigned the division between those who are going to stay and those who are to escort the caravan to Emon. Pike, are you with the rest of the party? Player: Yeah, I need to see what's going on. DM: As you're walking, one of the Pale Guards sees you and walks up and goes, "Lady Pike? Are you to join us on the caravan?" Player: That was today? DM: "We're leaving. It's-- I mean, I just don't know." Player: What-- Oh! What exactly were we doing? I'm sorry, I've had a night. DM: "You escorted the caravan from Emon to Whitestone and now we're returning to Emon from Whitestone with the caravan. I just wanted to know if you wished to come or stay. We're leaving right now."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Beauregard Lionett called Beau, a human monk . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The group heads to the harbor and borrows a rowboat. They send you, pretending to be Tracy the Valley Girl, over to two patrolling zolezzo guards and she picks up a conversation with one, Merpal, telling him she's from out of town and wants to see the Sluice Weave while she's here. DM: "Well, the Sluice Weave is a series of tunnels that were installed probably a century ago that are responsible for-- They are ducts that guide water from the ocean to a series of small engines in the city that help propel the furnaces that the various businesses and locations here that require that sort of intense power to utilize. It's also--" Player: Wow! I hear they're haunted. Are they haunted? DM: "Well, not haunted, per se. But there are--" Player: Oh, you gave me a little smirk. They're totally haunted! DM: He goes, "Not haunted, but there are elements to it--" Player: I give him a little (giggle). DM: He's like (uncomfortable laugh). He goes, "There also-- There are things that help maintain the Sluice ducts, and occasionally help protect elements of the bay if ever it's under attack." Player: I bet you're first in line to protect the city against an attack, aren't you? DM: (sheepishly) "I mean, there's been-- You know. About a year ago they had this one ship that came into the-- There were these thieves-- And I happened to be on job at the moment and so-- yeah!" Player: Wow! So interesting. So, have you been down there? DM: "I haven't been down in the Sluice area, there. The entrance, as far as I know, is mostly hidden, the one inside the city." Player: Oh, so there's one inside the city? DM: "Somewhere, I don't know." Player: Oh wow. I heard there was one in the ocean! DM: "Yeah, there's two or three, I think, that are right down off the side-- Here, come here." And he leads you over.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Pike Trickfoot, a gnome cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, There was a cart of horses pulling a group of four gnomes that all eventually revealed themselves to be family of you Trickfoot. After taking them in, whether or not Vox Machina was excited or eager to, nevertheless they treated them with hospitality, gave them a place to stay, gave them food for the evening, conversations were had, and information was passed around. DM: "I find little in faith. However, the exorcism is based in divine magics and some bits of information I've gleaned from the Age of Arcanum, long ago, back when possession was a common thing and gods still walked the earth. What I've found--" And he leans forward on his stick. "-- is to perform this. Pardon me, it's the breakfast. All the oatmeal. It's good for the fiber." Player: It sure is. DM: "What I would require would be the highest point on the highest mountain in the vicinity. As high up as we can go. Like somewhere in those mountains there." He points a broad stroke to the north, northeast, to the Alabaster Sierras that surround the Parchwood. "And when the moon is full, as that was when the original curse was cast upon us, there, we hallow the ground to prepare. Perhaps you or another individual of a clerical background could do so, and it does take some time to hallow it. But with the ground hallowed, and the moon is full, I can perform the exorcism. Now, should the shades be strong enough to survive the exorcism, as they have once before, it will be up to you and your friends to slay them while they're bound on that land. And if you cast them to the shadows where they came, the blood curse on you would be no more." Player: But they'll come back again? DM: "They are passed on through the bloodline." Player: Is there any way to get rid of them forever? DM: "From an individual, yes. Overall, I know not. That involves silly, crazy god stuff, and, well, they haven't been around often. There are a few things we need to prepare for the exorcism that I don't have the access of. If you wish to go through with this, let me know. If you find this all mumbo jumbo and you don't believe me, I don't blame you, either, and we can be on our way. Choice is yours."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Grog Strongjaw, a goliath barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, As well as that, they do some other activites, with Scanlan helping to set up a library and commissioning a painting of himself to hang in Greyskull Keep. Vax also contacts Gilmore to ask for his help with reopening trade in Whitestone. DM: That's good. She has disadvantage on these because of the fright. I'm giving her that, but even still, she still rolls a 17. What did you roll, total? Player: 19. DM: 19. You guys keep it-- she's still holding you there, you're not able to gain any ground. You're really impressed by this display she's giving you. Roll again. Player: Do I have advantage? No. DM: No. Player: 12. DM: 12? Okay. She forces you back down--

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Percival de Rolo, a human gunslinger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Percy goes with Keyleth and Tiberius to look for ammunition supplies. Though black powder is not a commonly-sold commodity in Vasselheim, Percy manages to find one eccentric older man who sells it. DM: "Glorious!" He turns around and jams the hog head into the barrel of black powder, picks it up. (poof) The soot settles against you and the rest of you guys as you now find yourself partially covered in this slowly dissipating cloud of black powder. (coughs) You cough instinctively and push it away. "Yes. 400 gold. You pay?" Player: I gingerly put the purse down in front of me. DM: He takes it. With a whisk, it's already put away into a side pouch, and you hear the clanging of haphazard coins in his far pocket. "Here! Hog head! Take it! (grunts) To Samson! This way!" And he grabs your arm and drags you out of his hovel. He points across the way with his shaking, crooked finger. "Samson! There! In the brick building! Tell him Victor sent you. He'll give you ore!" Player: Thank you for all of your help. You've been so kind. DM: "My pleasure. You want more powder, come back. Yes, yes?!" Player: I might do that. DM: "Good! Goodbye!" And pushes you out, takes both of you by the arms and pushes you out, slams the door behind, and you are left standing there, half-covered in blackened soot and black powder, in the center of the thoroughfare, midday, stunned by the whole encounter.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Nott the Brave, a goblin rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, However, upon noticing that some of the buildings on the eastern side of town began to light up with what appeared to be flame, you began to approach rather rapidly, seeing members of the city's citizens fleeing, screaming, and apparently there seemed to be some sort of attack. Upon going into the town, you realized that a number of these buildings were being set fire by an incursion of Gnolls. DM: As they're both right there, rushing towards you, you say this and you're going to pull out and fire at one. The one to the right or the left? Player: The first one who spotted me. DM: The one that first spotted you would be the one on the left, so as it's rushing towards you, go ahead and fire. Player: Okay, 18. DM: 18 hits. Go ahead and roll damage. Player: Eight. DM: Eight points of damage, not-- Player: Ten, 11 points of damage, because I'm going to use Fury of the Small. DM: Okay, 11 points of damage. It hurts, but it's still rushing forward. They both begin to rush in to close the gap. The rest of you guys rush in; to get to him, it will take the full round to get there. You guys use your movement and dash in. Those of you who don't have darkvision, you can't see anything.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Keyleth, a half-elf druid . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, She goes to tell Captain Adella, but finds that the dark spot has disappeared when she looks again. Adella nonetheless prepares for battle as a precaution. DM: 14. It doesn't take much for you to realize that this fog is pretty localized. It's not an entire bank that covers the entirety of the ocean in actuance. You kind of travel from one side of the boat to the other to get the scope of it. It's pretty narrow and pretty focused in its direction. Player: Does this look like something that I would have? Like, is this another druid doing a fog cloud spell? DM: You recognize this to be of similar size although magnified. Player: Bigger than us? DM: A little-- Player: Than my spell. Bigger than my spell? DM: Bigger than the usual spell that you are used to casting but it does appear localized enough to be of a similar-type spell or effect.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Beauregard Lionett called Beau, a human monk . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Caduceus and Shakäste investigate the back chambers, whch are holding chained, gagged humanoid figures. Lorenzo appears and casts Cone of Cold, knocking out you and Shakäste, and wounding Keg and Caduceus. DM: There goes Nott. That brings us to Beau! What are you doing? You come to consciousness. You're prone. You have to use half your movement to get up. Player: I get up. Still have 20 feet of movement left. Can I make it to Lorenzo? DM: (counting) Player: God, I'm so mad. How far away am I? DM: You are ten feet from Lorenzo. Player: God, that sucks! I'm going to use a ki point to get there. (grunts) Step of the Wind. Hope that was a good call. I'm going to unleash on him, because I'm fucking pissed. First attack. Uh-huh! Yep! 24. [cheering] DM: Roll damage. Player: All the rage and fury. And-- I'm going to spend my last ki point to do Stunning Strike. DM: I'm going to use my little Shapeways dice for this one. That's a plus six constitution modifier on this one, but it rolled a natural four. [cheering]

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Grog Strongjaw, a goliath barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, After slamming his feet into the sand and preparing himself for conflict, he beckons you towards him. you faces off with Earthbreaker Groon. DM: 24, he got a 21. So we'll say for this, you go ahead, you'll be releasing the grapple, but you slam him on the ground and make him prone. So you manage to just (grunts) rip him off of whatever weird center of gravity he's forced himself into, lift him over your head, and just pile-drive him into the ground. Player: Great. DM: (boom) Once again, you see sand and dust kick up, and then you see these two legs sticking up as you've basically planted him in the ground like a carrot. And he is currently prone on the ground, yes. Player: Great! When he's prone, do I get advantage on attacks? DM: When he is prone, attack rolls against the creature have advantage if you're within five feet, so yes you do. Player: Great. Great Weapon Master, dwarven thrower, and I say I want to know the answer to the lesson! (everyone laughs) 29 minus five, 24? DM: 24, that hits.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Jester Lavorre, a tiefling cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Further along the way, they meet refugees from Nogvurot. After the fourth day of travel, they camp and notice an overturned cart just off the road. DM: Kiri's sitting there on the edge, eyes half-closed, and her feathers all puffed up. She looks over towards you, (coos). Player: Do you get cold? Yes? Or No? DM: (like Jester) "Yes?" Player: You get cold. Oh, I run back in and try to get some warm clothes for Kiri. DM: Okay, easy enough. It costs you three silver to get the proper thick fur material to give her enough to keep warm. Player: Something really pretty though. DM: Eh, beggars can't be choosers in this circumstance, but you get something functional.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Fjord, a half-orc warlock . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, There are two vines, one around Nott and one trying to wrap up Jester. They prove to be difficult opponents, dealing significant amounts of physical and poison damage, and grappling and restraining their targets. DM: All right. Roll a strength saving throw to see if you can manage to break through the entangling vines to get towards it. Player: That's not good, though. Oh, good, natural 16. DM: You feel them pull at your shins but you still kick through and you hear them snap as you manage to brush past their grip making your way towards-- which one, the one that has Nott? Player: Yeah, the one that has Nott. DM: Go ahead and make your first attack. Player: Yeah. As I'm arcing down and I look out the side, is the eye doing anything? DM: It's present. Player: Cool, it's there, good deal. 23. DM: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vex Vex'ahlia, a half-elf ranger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Scanlan then inspires Grog, the goliath seeing the gnome's ass as two round globes of victory. Scanlan then backs away out of sight to avoid getting shot by arrows. DM: Okay, that reduces to eight. All the arrows strike true, thump-thump-thump, but still each one is only piercing the flesh so far, he's generally so dense in his musculature, each impact is not having the same satisfying (impact) sound you're used to. But that ends your held action and it is now your turn. Player: Oh, but I get another attack, because that's just one attack. DM: Oh right, that was the sky sentinel, go for it. Take a second attack. Player: My second attack, I'm going to take at Greenbeard, and I'm going to shoot through the flaming bowstring. DM: Okay. Player: 17 plus 12 probably hits? 17 plus 12? DM: Yeah, that's going to hit. Player: Okay. Gah! 14 on that one. DM: 14, okay. 14 damage to him. Greenbeard is currently stuck there in place, the arrow sinks into his robe and you don't even see the impact, it absorbs into the cloth and he goes, ah, and you hear the escaping air from the impact but he can't actually move.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vax Vax'ildan, a half-elf rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Around the back of the building, Percy goes to the first door he sees and attempts to open it, only to find it locked. you runs up and pulls out his lockpicks, unlocking the door with no difficulty. DM: Rain's still pouring down, you have your hood up, the water's dripping past your face as you're trying to concentrate. You get the tools in. It's not a very complicated lock. (click, creak) You push it open, leading you guys into the interior of what looks like a kitchen. Player: Perception check. Which is a 25. DM: 25. As you look inside, it's a cold kitchen. It hasn't been in use for a while. The fire's up, there's a little bit of a slab in the corner where most of the preparations are done, there's a few cabinets that are up. It's dark. There's no lantern. Player: And what are the other doors? DM: There's a door immediately to your left, and there's, across the way, is an archway opening. There's no actual door there. It's just a walkway that leads into the next room. Player: So it's open straight ahead? DM: Yes. Player: I haven't used any movement. If I go to the archway right across, right? DM: Yep. Player: I'm clicking my boots as I walk forward. Do I perception check again at the arch, or does the same one hold? DM: As you glance through, you can see what appears to be... Player: I unlocked the door and I've walked ten feet. DM: There appears to be a hallway. There's a hallway that goes across the way. There's a door at the end of the hallway, and two doors to the right and left of this hallway.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Nott the Brave, a goblin rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Towards the core and the back of this final defending pocket of uncorrupted forest is a stone building, windowless and overgrown. Nila determines that whatever the corruption is, it is not natural, and that there is some much older and much more powerful latent reasoning for it. DM: Best you can see, no. It's pretty well made. The walls and the roof all appear to be made from stone. Player: But no windows or anything? DM: There are windows. You can only really see the front and right side of it, the southeast side of it from your perspective-- there is a single window. It is an arched window that looks like it may have been built at one point to hold glass or stained glass, but it is no longer there. You can see the soft, jungle-like flora at the base of it has swooped up and grown over and into the interior of the structure. Best you can tell from this distance, there is no visible light immediately inside, but there is a bit of natural light that is coming in through the open space. Player: Can I go over to the window and take a peek in, stealthily? DM: Sure, roll a stealth check. Player: 12. I'll take a big swig of booze and then go over and try. DM: Okay. You begin to dart across the open space, dodging through gravestones and as you're passing one of them, there is a bit of a thorned vine that catches the back of your cloak. It pulls taut before you get yanked on your neck, slip back, and Nott slams on the ground giving a little sound.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vax Vax'ildan, a half-elf rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, On you's request, Gilmore procures a favor for him with the Lyceum. you also purchases three enchanted daggers, presumably as a gift for Kynan Leore. DM: She's red in the face. At this point in time, the beaded curtains reopen. Have you finished the conversation, or do you want to keep going? Player: No. After ten minutes of finishing all that, of telling every tiny detail, if you mind me backtracking, I briefly place my hand on top of his, and say, it was terrible. I've never seen anything like it. Now we're back. We're in our home, and I'm hoping to learn how Uriel is doing, how the city is faring. Is there any news? Things are ill in Kraghammer; they still haven't seen the last of their troubles, but I'm also concerned for our new home here. DM: "As far as I'm aware, this city has been doing rather well. Since Winter's Crest just this previous year, trade has been booming, we're opening up pathways all across the continent, we've improved relations with many other distant kingdoms, and I'm opening a second shop! I mean, that's amazing! And who would've thought?" Player: And Westruun, how's it going? DM: "So far, so good. We're going through the construction process, and I'm making sure that I have a rather supple income of artifacts and oddities that I have to sell at both locations. I have to widen my input of various items and--" Player: You're a busy man. DM: "Oh, yes." Player: Have you any time for leisure? DM: "Eventually." You can see, he's a little more worn than you've seen Gilmore before. He's still Gilmore, and he's excited, but after the tale you told him and opening the second shop has been a little rough on him, and his jovial self is a little more wearied. Though he still looks fabulous. Player: You seem a tad weary. Is there anything I can do to help you? DM: "Just praise the brand. Praise the brand, young Vax." Player: That will happen. I did not even mean to discuss this, coming here, but I noticed, coming in, a sigil under your carpet. I had no intention of this, but we need to get back to Kraghammer in a bit of a hurry, and I certainly have no abilities, but do you remember my friend Tiberius? Dragonborn fellow? DM: "Yes! Yes, I remember him." Player: He needs to run an errand back in Kraghammer. Is there any way you could hook us up with a favor? DM: "What kind of favor?"

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Mollymauk Tealeaf, a tiefling blood hunter . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, However, upon noticing that some of the buildings on the eastern side of town began to light up with what appeared to be flame, you began to approach rather rapidly, seeing members of the city's citizens fleeing, screaming, and apparently there seemed to be some sort of attack. Upon going into the town, you realized that a number of these buildings were being set fire by an incursion of Gnolls. DM: "I haven't looked around, to be perfectly honest. I've been a little focused on--" and he gestures out with his hands at the rubble that was once his life. Player: You had a lot of meat, didn't you? DM: "Well, you have to present meat. A lot of people around here eat meat." Player: Would you say that you offer a larger selection of meat than some of the other establishments in town? DM: "If you're asking me, then the best meat. Don't know about quantity, but quality was--" (tongue click) Player: I feel like I've been robbed of the experience of your fine, fine meat products, and I, for one, would like you to rebuild so that I might try some of your meats. DM: "Well, if at some point the gracious gods see fit to bequeath upon me a strike of good luck and I can get to rebuilding, my friend, one day, you may be able to try one of my meats." Player: I'm going to take a look-- Is the friend who's dead skeletonized? DM: Oh, yeah, burnt charred. Player: Oh, burnt, okay. Where is this butcher that you mentioned as well? DM: "Oh that's--" He steps out through where the doorframe is still standing, the one that you defended yourself through most of that battle, just a free-standing frame now.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Fjord, a half-orc warlock . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Nott says that they've been very clear that they're in this for what they can grab for themselves. She corrects you's assumption that she relies on Caleb for protection, saying it's the other way around. DM: "I will. Thankfully, when all this went down, we were both in the Song and Supper, so at least we have an alibi. I've just never done something like this before. Pardon my nerves." You see his hands are literally shaking, and you see notice now he is very nervous. Player: Have a drink. It’ll help with that. DM: "I will." He goes off to the corner and pulls out a small glass bottle of liquor. He comes over, and him and Horris give a very tight hug to each other, and then separate. Dolan sits down, puts the drink on the table. "Thank you." Player: Of course. We'll have to regroup, and we'll get back to you as soon as we can. DM: "Go." Player: We leave. DM: Horris comes with you guys towards the Leaky Tap. You guys make your way to the Leaky Tap.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Grog Strongjaw, a goliath barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The party completed the venture of taking the Horn of Orcus to a place of safety and sealing it away, hopefully for eternity, with the help of Lady Kima and two of the Scalebearers. After heading to the basement of the Platinum Sanctuary in the city of Vasselheim, they succeeded in doing so. DM: All right. Riki-oh style. I like it. All right. So. As you go ahead, go ahead and just roll a basic attack. Player: Fuck. Thank you, god. 26. DM: 26. Make a dexterity save on his end-- no, that won't work. So you throw the dirt up. As he's rushing towards you to follow up on the attack, the dirt goes streaming into his eyes and for a second he stumbles and starts trying to wipe his face. As he does, he has the blood on his hands that's also getting in his eyes, the blood's starting to cake up a bit, and he's just reaching out in the area. So that's your first attack. Player: Because I feel like we have a kinship, I take my foot and I throw it right up into his grundle, just soccer-kick the shit out of his nuts. DM: Go ahead and roll an attack. You have advantage on this currently, because he can't see it coming. Player: That's even better! 25. DM: 25. Go ahead and roll damage.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Scanlan Shorthalt, a gnome bard . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Grog football tackles the held Riskel to the ground. Vax pummels riskel with the blunt end of his daggers. DM: I'd say because you're already there and shouting at him, it can be a bonus action. So if you want to take your action still. Player: I can't do anything, I'm behind all those fucking people. Well, if we're fighting then, I can't do much. I will just-- I will blind him this time. DM: Okay. Player: Can I do that? DM: Sure. Player: I'll blind him at a level three. DM: Ooh, level three blind.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Scanlan Shorthalt, a gnome bard . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Vax dashes past Greenbeard towards Kevdak, one of the herd members outside the arena attempting to swipe at the rogue but only catching feathers from the Deathwalker's Ward, and attacks the paralyzed Thunderlord with both daggers in hand. The blades strike true, Vax sinking the weapons up to the hilt into the flesh of the goliath, and the rogue flees the arena, but not before he leaves some parting words for Kevdak. DM: They're both, having now made out the connection between the mooning and Kevdak holding himself in place, they're both trying to take you out. One of them has disadvantage because you're in its spot and it couldn't get away from you, it had nowhere to go really. So one's taking two attacks at you, Scanlan. That is going to be, heh, a 12. Player: Miss. DM: And a 26. Player: Hit. DM: The other one's going to have two attacks with disadvantage against you. That's, even with disadvantage, that's a 21. Player: Hit. DM: And the other one with disadvantage is a 15.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Nott the Brave, a goblin rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The dragon bit at her as she left, giving Jester time to run to the sphere and escape. you fired one more bolt before touching the sphere and vanishing. DM: Going to run to the front; it makes an attack of opportunity against you. That's going to hit. That's a 15 plus nine, yeah, it's 24. It's going to be a bite attack against you, which does more damage. That's going to be 18 points of piercing damage. Player: Mm-hmm. I'm okay. DM: The jaws bite into you and you feel it rake across your shoulder, but you manage to pull out, roll on the ground to back up and you manage to get your arm up and pull yourself onto the platform where the orb is still glowing that dull green color. Player: I'll turn around and fire my crossbow at the thing. DM: Go for it. Player: It's not great. It's only a 16. DM: The bolt ricochets off of the hard scales of the dragon's hide.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Fjord, a half-orc warlock . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The party, including Avantika and Jamedi confronts three unhappy-looking yuan-ti (pureblood priestesses), and one taller gray figure with a large hooded snake head (a yuan-ti mind whisperer). DM: As Yasha darts off, the pureblood behind manages to swipe out with the scimitar. Has an attack of opportunity against her. That is going to be a natural-- They're rolling really good! 17 plus three. 20. Player: That hits. DM: With that, Yasha suffers seven-- six on the d6. Seven points of slashing damage, reduced to three because she's raging. Player: Yes. DM: Then Yasha shrugs off the impact, rushes towards the large gray snake entity, and? Player: Reckless attacks. DM: Go for it. Player: Oh, that definitely hits. That's a 22? DM: That is correct. Go ahead and roll damage on that one. Player: 11-- 16 points of damage on the first one. DM: Okay. 16 points of damage. It is vulnerable against that. That is technically 32 points of damage from that strike. How does Yasha want to do this?

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vax Vax'ildan, a half-elf rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Some of them splintered off to try and acquire the goods that were taken from his store, however they apparently had already been stolen from the location they were being stored in, or been delivered already, they're uncertain as to what became of them. But they get the sense that it was probably best that they chose Gilmore over the gold, at first glance. DM: Looking along the walls, you start heading in that direction, you do see a few markings that basically say 'sanctuary' in Thieves' Cant, in the direction of the light. Player: All right. Confirmed. DM: You guys continue onward? Player: Yeah, I'll lead the way. Yeah, we sat here for 20 minutes in the stank. DM: Yes. (clears throat) So, you guys continue forward up that tunnel. Eventually, as it curves around, the light-- you can see-- it's shifting, because it appears to be a distant fire light that is the source in this vicinity, and as you turn the corner, as the tunnel slowly curves around, it opens up into a large central sewer chamber, though most of it is dry, and you can see there is a large mound of dirt in the center that seems to rise above most of the water that has collected along the ceiling, and there are a series of platforms constructed out of wooden scaffolding at different levels all throughout this chamber. Some of it looks a little rickety, some of it looks very old, but various states of moisture rot. (offscreen sneeze) You hear a sneeze from the distance from one of the-- As you look and see a series of small bonfires throughout the room that are currently lit and surrounded by figures. You see a ramshackle tent city, and/or a series of small, wooden hovels that have constructed here. You see a number of figures that are huddled around these bonfires: cloaks, hoods up, generally keeping warm in what is a relatively cold, subterranean area. You guys, glancing over here, as you're first looking, and you can see a few of them appear to be laid up and hurt, and there appear to be at least a few individuals that are heavily bandaged or have slings on. As you guys step into the room, not being very stealthy in your arrival-- Player: We could have been, but I use a bit of sign language from the Cant, and let them know that I'm part of the Clasp? DM: Okay. A few of them stand up, hands on the side of their hilt, and stop there for a second before one individual steps out of the shadows and puts his hand up, putting it down. You recognize this to be Garthok.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vex Vex'ahlia, a half-elf ranger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The damage quickly reverts them out of their eel forms. The fight comes down to simply destroying as many of the tentacles as they can, hoping this will allow them to get away. DM: So you can make it. We'll say that's as far as you can get, no reason to hide, you're still out in the open, you don't have anything to hide behind, unfortunately. Player: Can I sit on the ground? I wanna sit on the ground and wrap my cloak around me and make myself look like a rock. DM: Actually, you do back up into the ink cloud, so you can. Player: Hey! DM: Which is not obscured to the kraken. So, you cannot hide. He can still see you in the ink cloud. Player: Oh really? DM: Yeah, so--

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vax Vax'ildan, a half-elf rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, They also found that a number of gold coins, a bit of his horde that had been buried, were now exposed by these strange smooth tunnels that were carved into the rock. Upon Vex , Scanlan, and Trinket inquiring there, the rest of the party scattered: Pike and Keyleth went to find what seemed to be the owner of the house, now frozen in fright in a far alcove; and the rest of the group traveling towards the mouth of the cavern itself. DM: All right. That definitely hits. However, it is not sneak attack damage. You are hiding definitely behind the pillar, but your footsteps. And you get the essence as soon as you see the creature, its head follows you across the room, you get the sense immediately that it is not a sight-based creature, it is definitely a movement-based creature, and its head just follows you as you move. Player: I'll defer, but let me ask, going stealth and rolling a 28 on stealth, the footsteps were still enough to alert it to where I was? DM: Is it a natural 20? Player: I didn't attack yet. No, it was a combined 28, just to go stealth. DM: A combined 28. Right, even so, not quite light enough. Not with the knowledge that it was an issue with this entity, and due to the proximity of it, and it being a very sensitive creature to the rock's movement, it still picks you up. Player: And I should have one attack. I should have an attack, right? Because I did the boots, I ran over here-- DM: Yep, so you have an attack. Player: Two. DM: Well, two attacks, you have offhand, so yeah. Player: Two, yeah. Two, because it was double the speed because of the boots. All right. First one is shit. That is 14. And the second one is-- I'm going to do Luck on that. The second one is 20. DM: The second one hits. The first one unfortunately just bounces off of its hide. Player: That's not a lot. But it is seven points of damage. DM: Seven points of damage, got it.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Jester Lavorre, a tiefling cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The party makes their way back to the Lavish Chateau, and swings by the Tidepeak, and you notices that the city does not seem to be massively changed, but the normal smoke plumes are just whips of smoke. They return to the Lavish Chateau where a few people are relaxing and having dinner. DM: "Of course, I assume that is the case." He knocks on the door. At that point, the door opens up a bit and peeking through is the Ruby of the Sea, Marion, whose hair is perfectly curled, even without an evening performance. She smiles at the sight of all of you at the door and looks curiously at the large skirt-faring tortle. "Hello?" Player: Hi! Do you have company? DM: "Not at the moment, no." Player: Can we come in and talk to you for just a second? DM: "Oh, Jester! Hi! Yeah, please, do come inside, everyone. Come on." You all make your way into the chamber. Player: I'll drop the disguise spell once we're inside. DM: Okay. She shoos out her servants, and the door closes.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vex Vex'ahlia, a half-elf ranger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, She rents them a boat called the Shore Shanty, helmed by Captain Santy, for three days' use. After about two hours of sailing, they arrive above the undersea volcano. DM: "There we go, straight questions." He rubs his swollen cheek side. You can see his teeth are graying and yellow. There's a little bit of blackened decay at the edges, but he grins a little bit at the sight of the gold. "I need a little more than that paltry sum." Player: Paltry sum? How much gold do you see every day? I pull out another piece. Is this enough? DM: "Make it five, and I'll introduce you to my docksmen." Player: All I want to know is where the volcano is. DM: "But you're not looking for a ship to rent, right? Like he said?" Player: No. DM: "All right. (sniffles) Volcano is that way." And he points out. You see he glances over, he lines up where you can see a couple of larger rocks that are breaking out from the shore surface maybe 20 or 30 feet out from where the pebble beach ends and meets the water line. He's lining up his arm and, "That way, about five miles."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Grog Strongjaw, a goliath barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The party completed the venture of taking the Horn of Orcus to a place of safety and sealing it away, hopefully for eternity, with the help of Lady Kima and two of the Scalebearers. After heading to the basement of the Platinum Sanctuary in the city of Vasselheim, they succeeded in doing so. DM: That's going to be a gif. And as you now see Kern prepares for a second bout, it's your turn, Grog. What are you doing? Player: I would like to go into a frenzied rage. I would like to start with a giant front-kick forward and then hammer him down. DM: All right. Go for the first strike. Player: Shit, that misses. Two. DM: That's probably going to miss. Player: Yep. That's a 19. DM: 19 is going to hit. Player: And also 19. DM: Both hit, yep. So you go to kick with the front kick, and he dodges to the side. However, you still, using your giant haymaker, the inertia clips him across the face. Go ahead and roll damage. Player: That is a 16. DM: You're not fighting with your axe. This is with your fists. So rolling 1d4 and then half that.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Caduceus Clay, a firbolg cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Protto shoots his longbow through the two intervening portcullises at Beau, but one misses and she catches the other. She and Keg get the gate up and Caleb wedges the table underneath. DM: You watch the naturally twisted and gnarled wooden staff that Caduceus carries, which previously had a dozen of small knot holes in it, suddenly begin to exude dozens and dozens and dozens of small beetles that begin to swarm out of the staff and curling onto the ground. You can place it. Player: Can I put it right on top of that problem in the corner, so it can't quite be seen by anyone down the hall, but close enough to bite? DM: It's 30 feet, you can't quite get it to them. Player: Even if I go all the way? Okay. How close can I get to him? DM: You're right next to him. This swarm of beetles is right beneath the floating bust of Nefertiti. Player: Can it make a bite attack? DM: It won't be able to attack this turn, unfortunately. Player: I think I get a bite attack on first appearance. DM: Right, but how close can you summon it? Player: 30 feet. DM: Right, so it appears 30 feet-- Player: Can't move yet. DM: Right, but it's not quite close enough to bite. It's about ten feet away.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Fjord, a half-orc warlock . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Yasha grapples him, and you tells him to surrender, which he does. They recover the package he was guarding: a beautiful wooden box. DM: As you move around the corner, in a flash, you hear (grunting). You see this quick arc of steel as suddenly, from around the corner, a fairly well-armed man with sun-darkened skin, short hair pulled into a tight top-knot or a bun of some kind, holding a longsword two-handed, swings at you, three strikes. That is 24 to hit. Player: Hits. DM: That is 18 to hit. Player: Hits. DM: And, ooh, that is a 26 to hit. Player: Misses. DM: Three hits there. That is 16 points of slashing damage, 13 points of slashing damage, and, oh, 18 points of slashing damage.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Scanlan Shorthalt, a gnome bard . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Vax walks along the wall, unable to attack from a distance, and heads to you. Grog directs his attention to the remaining horror and smashes it twice with the warhammer. DM: As you rush in the air, you hesitate for a moment, remembering the Pike thing, and you see this burning arcane rage in the face of this entity. At that moment, that hesitation was all it needed. It takes the shield and almost knocks the weapon out of your hand. You catch yourself, land on your feet-- yeah, your fingers sting a little bit. Worth a shot. All right, in retribution, it's going to strike at you twice. That's a 15? Player: That fails. DM: 21. Player: That is successful. DM: That is seven points of slashing damage. Player: Okay. DM: All right. Keyleth, you're up.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Percival de Rolo, a human gunslinger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Percy offers to donate his Manual of Quickness of Action in return for access to the library's private collection. They are shown two books, one in Abyssal and one in Common. DM: There is very little talk about celestial blood, divas, other than the fact that there's been a long-standing battle since the founding. Since the prime gods and betrayer gods divided early in the creation of Exandria and-- Player: There's no talk about using celestial power as some sort of weapon against these creatures. DM: Not celestial power necessarily, but some of the entities are susceptible to various divine magics and abilities, and that is a strong back and forth between the two sides. The big war is between the devils and the demons. The Abyss, which is the nature of chaos and evil and driven hunger at whatever cost, versus the power-hungry devils, which build structure, dominance, expanding their territory, and ruling through structure and power. Player: Okay, so within evil, there is chaos versus order is kind of the internal conflict of evil. DM: Yes, those are the two sides, devils versus demons. Player: All right. This is all very useful. DM: But there are many tiers of the hells and nine--

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Beauregard Lionett called Beau, a human monk . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Before impacting to the ground of one of the top chambers of the pyramid. Looking within the interior of this five-sided chamber, you noticed amongst the two pillars to the side a raised platform where there was a fountain of some kind, surrounded by three of these mostly-humanoid but snake-scaled, covered in places, yuan-ti people. DM: I believe that's all of us. Beginning now this round of combat; Beau, you have the jump. Everyone is prone, by the way. You slid down the stairs on your ass and impacted with the stone floor of this chamber. Nott, what would you like to-- sorry, Beau is-- sorry. Beau. Player: These are lizard people? Or these are snake people? DM: Yeah, these are-- Player: These are the yuan-ti. DM: Yes, these are the yuan-ti. These three individuals that are mostly humanoid, but bits of their skin are scaled, their eyes are yellow, you can see sharpened teeth. This individual here is the one with the large hooded snake head that's still a bit taller than the rest and these long lanky arms. Gray skin. Player: Do they look super pissed off? DM: They look very unhappy that you've stumbled into this chamber.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Grog Strongjaw, a goliath barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Vax pulls Scanlan aside and pitches him a backup plan. He wants to have Scanlan Dimension Door into Umbrasyl's stomach and use the unmovable rod to hurt him from inside. DM: You hear two voices simultaneously down the end of the hallway come in, one of which is a very weak female voice, the other is a very loud kind of-- "Hey, bring me food this way, please!" The other one is like, "Please, I ask of you, I'm starving." And you see these two hands come out of the two cells in the distance. Player: Right, I'm going to pick a number between one and ten. Ready? Go. DM: There's an awkward pause. "Three?" "Seven! Definitely seven!" Player: I lean over to Abjurist Noja, I say, I actually don't know any numbers, so. Y'know what, we're going to deliberate and we'll be with you in just a moment. (whispers) Abjurist, how old y--, why are you in here, who put you in here? DM: "I've only been in here for about a week. Got in an altercation in my store when these brutes started walking in. Threw me in here, didn't even let me take my spellbook." Player: Oh, that is a crime. I love b-- I can't even say it. Hold on, stay right there, I'll get you out-- And I walk back to Orn Blackfoot, I go, look, hey, so I gave you food, can you do anything, like, special? DM: "What?" Player: Like, can you make your hands turn to flame, can you disappear, are you really good with a bow and arrow? DM: "No! No." And he reaches out and grabbing at your clothes though and starts pulling you-- Player: Hey! Orn, chill! DM: "But I have friends in many places, though. I can, I can get you things. I can make connections--" Player: Yeah, but most of the people in here are dead, right, like they're probably not-- DM: "Not even here, Emon! I can get you anything you need from Emon. I can get you from Stillben. And Lansway, just name it and get me out of here and I can--" Player: How long has it been since you've been to Emon? DM: "Few months?" Player: You got any loved ones there? DM: "Why?" Player: I don't know, just asking, like, do you want me to take a note from you to them or something, you know. DM: "No, if you can release me, I'd be more than happy to take it myself if you don't mind." Player: Yeah, no, I'm still deliberating, sorry. Enjoy the food that you snuck in your jacket pocket. And I go back towards the front desk area. And I try and find any-- is there a lever on the wall to release the cells or can I look for keys? DM: You-- make an investigation check. Player: Fuck me. DM: Yes. Player: Your fate is in excellent hands. Oh shit, you're not dead! Minus two for a 17! DM: Ah! All righty. So. After spending the good part of an hour or so clamoring through, just throwing bookshelves over and (crashing) taking the desk and actually throwing it onto its back and pulling drawers out, this is Grog's method of investigation here, you're just-- Player: Yeah, just trying some splinters of wood in the locks just in case. DM: Yeah, yeah. You break off a few forks in some locks. Player: Forks, yeah. DM: In practice, yeah, whatever looks small enough and should fit, though it doesn't, but you make it fit. And it doesn't help. You do eventually find in one of the cells, closed and locked as you look by, there is one person in guard armor, in Westruun guard armor, that is in the cell. Not moving.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Caleb Widogast, a human wizard . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Fjord sincerely responds that he's doing a great job. you asks the Dragonborn innkeeper for directions to the Archives. DM: From where you are now, you guys are in the Eastern Outersteads, it would be west. And he goes, "Actually (ugh), hold on just a second, I'll get to your meal. Follow me." He comes out from behind the bar and slaps it up, and puts an arm around your shoulder and leads you right immediately outside to the front of the tavern, pushing you along. Player: Ja, okay, I shrink inward. DM: He goes, "You look over that rooftop there, and you can see that-- " and you see this slowly tapering tower that then curves off at the very top to be a very dome-like pinnacle. The stonework itself appears to be like a smooth concrete looking texture just from this distance, and the way the morning sun is hitting it, half of it is just bright and reflective and really intricate carving and various tiers along the towers. He goes, "That there's the Archive. That's what you're looking for. So just look at that tower and keep going." Player: Thank you. DM: "No worries." Player: Also, asking the DM, not this dragonborn, but you had mentioned the Chastity's Nook. Caleb would remember if you said what area it's in? DM: Tri-Spires.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vax Vax'ildan, a half-elf rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The party enters the tunnel uncovered by opening the hatch. They go down a wooden stairway. DM: All right, you step under one of the nearby tables and come out, completely invisible. You make your way, stepping through the kitchen, downstairs and find that you currently, right now-- Vax, you are going to unlock the latch, you said? Player: I'm sorry, I was just thinking of Wendydoodle's art from the comic. Yeah, yeah, I'm going to check that door for traps, is what I'm going to do. DM: All right, perception check. Wait, you checked earlier, there's no traps. There's just a lock. Player: Earlier, yeah, I did get a 25 up top, yeah. I thought you were giving me another door. Yeah, 25 up top where the fake bags of rice were. DM: Right, but it was still locked, you didn't roll to-- Player: To pick it, sure, that's no problem. It is a 23. DM: 23, it's a little tough, you just manage to get it up and it comes off and the latch-- pretty solid still. Player: Amateurs. DM: Okay, you open the (creaks) leads down below and you find yourself looking down into a familiar stairway that leads into darkness. Player: All right, I know sometimes I can seem like I'm an idiot, but let me do the talking, yeah? And then I start down and lead the way. DM: All right, so, as you push down the stairway, we're doing marching order here just so we have it. So we have currently, you're at the front, who's behind Vax?

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Jester Lavorre, a tiefling cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, With all the enemies handled, Molly douses the flames on the dead priest's head and calls Caleb out of his withdrawn state. The rest of the party searches the room for any valuables. DM: The orange one, okay. Both of them have been damaged now, a little bit. You watch as it shakes its head for a second, and it's beginning to string another arrow. That finishes your turn? Player: Oh, had he not been damaged yet? DM: He had not been damaged before. Player: I shouldn't have rolled a 12. I should have rolled an eight. DM: Then roll that eight. Player: Six damage. DM: Weirdly, more damage.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vex Vex'ahlia, a half-elf ranger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, A breath of frost kills one of the giants before it is able to do much. Percy's engineering talent makes a showing, between a hand grenade and one of the exploding arrows he made for you. DM: Okay. So as you take your shot, (gunshot) it ricochets off the armor. The dragon's starting to look a little rough. You can see bits of the blood beginning to seep from the inside of its scales. It's starting to look a little harsher and harsher. It's still standing up pretty well, but you can see, it's starting to get a little more battle-worn. That ends Percy's turn. Vex, you're up. Player: Me? DM: Yes. Player: Okay, I'm going to move Trinket away. DM: Trinket stands up, and Trinket's going to move back this way. Player: Yeah, and then hide behind that outcropping thing. Yeah. DM: Okay. As he moves away, the dragon uses his reaction. It's going to be a bite attack on him, actually.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Grog Strongjaw, a goliath barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Sarenrae thanks Pike for her role in restoring worship at her temple, and shows her how the pearl-like granules on the beach are actually the souls of worshippers come to live with her. As a parting gift, she grants her the Blessing of the Everlight. DM: "It's all right. But for everything great that we may have created, you continue to create far better. Our existence brings threat. We've brought two calamities before. We try and avoid a third. Whether we diminish in time or just maintain this balance, it's you, and your children, and your children's children, that hold the keys to the future of your lives, your people, your culture, and us. So don't apologize." Player: Would you say Sarenrae's attractive? DM: Are you asking her, or is this a question to me as the DM? Player: Yeah, that one. DM: She's beautiful. I wouldn't put it in terms of any sort of a sexual object. Player: She's just beautiful. DM: She's just an incredibly beautiful, powerful, feminine form. And, to the extent where Grog, who usually being a man who's driven by base needs, not a single thought comes across you in any base or defacing way, it is too powerful. It overwhelms it.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Taryon Darrington, a human artificer . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, They prepare a couple of longer-term spells before bed: Pike uses Vex's last ornate chalice to cast Heroes' Feast. Scanlan, for the very first time, casts Wish and asks for a Scanlan-simulacrum, which begins to form out of falling snow. DM: Over the next 12 hours, you sit there focusing on trying to press your will into this congealing snow golem of Scanlan, and watch as it slowly takes form and breathes air, and-- with no equipment, of course-- but has your knowledge, your spells. Eventually, the completion of the spell brings to life a secondary Scanlan, under your beck and call. Player: Oh my god. Hello, Scanlan, is it you? DM: "It's me." Player: (gasps) Oh! You're shorter than I thought you'd be. DM: "Speak for yourself." Player: All right, let's just see if you're really Scanlan. DM: He's already naked. Player: Oh, okay. Let's see. I whip out my little measuring tape. One inch, by one inch, by one inch. Mm-hmm. That part's the same. DM: "Mm-hmm. How do we know I'm not the real Scanlan?"

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vex Vex'ahlia, a half-elf ranger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, They reconnect on the other side. The right and left paths have rubble and weblike threads hang from the ceiling covering half the path. DM: You feel like you've been pulled through something, but it doesn't have a mighty effect, although, Grog, glancing at Vex you can see there is definitely a little bit more of a weathered look to her, crow's nests forming, deep-seated frown lines. Player: Oh, jeez. I shout out-- I run towards the other water portal. DM: Okay. Player: And I shout out, Pike, do you know the names of the four ancient gods? Is your name four? That's stupid. DM: There doesn't seem to be a reaction. Pike goes, "No, I mean, the gods that were at the beginning, there's--" Player: Yeah? DM: "There was Pelor and Melora and, I mean, they're the ones who cast away the elements, the chaos that this realm was first. I don't know!" And she seems-- she's bungled and unable to really formulate what you're asking. Player: I wouldn't have any religion, anything to base that off of? DM: Make a religion check if you want to. Player: Wow. Wow. Two! That's four ones in a night. DM: Wow. Wow. It's the reverse Percy tonight. Player: I've been cursed. DM: You try and think back to the conversation you had with Highbearer Vord in the Platinum Sanctuary, and your mind's a blank. You can't recall any of that conversation. Player: I have an advantage on anything having to do with dragons. DM: It has nothing to do with dragons. Player: Well, I was just checking. DM: This is the creation myth of all of existence. However, you still have your action if you want to do something. You're by the pool, it's right to your right, and there's this sphinx now rearing-- Player: I saw Percy dip his hand into the water, so I do the same thing to see what it does. DM: You what? You put your-- Player: I put my hand in the water. DM: You dip your hand in the water. The hand, once it breaks the surface, it vanishes into darkness below the water. You don't even see, there's no visual on it. Player: Does it hurt? DM: No, it doesn't hurt, it's cold, it's very cold. Player: Pull it back out. DM: Pull it back out. Your hand is wet and it drips and you shake it free. Player: Can I use a bonus action to try to hide? Is there anywhere to hide? Maybe against a wall or something? DM: You move one, two, three, four, five, six. You're not going to be able to get completely out of sight. Unless you want to jump in the water.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Keyleth, a half-elf druid . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The group gathered together, rode onto a magically elevated skyship, and traversing the ocean, carrying the Horn of Orcus within this holy container. They found themselves, over the ocean, suddenly attacked by a band of what seemed to be wyvern- and griffon-riding bandits. DM: Your eyes adjust a little bit, and you can see what looks like-- this room, for the most part, doesn't have any sort of details. There are a couple of sconces with low, flickering light that are embedded in the side of the walls of this 50 foot by 50 foot room. It's about 20 feet high. Player: I go ahead and I do a little Wind Gust and I go, (blows air). DM: Okay. Player: Down the hall, to clear out the fog. DM: Which spell is this? Player: Gust of Wind. DM: Okay, so you cast Gust of Wind. The mist that was filling this room blows out the other side and you can see, the room is a little more visible now.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Keyleth, a half-elf druid . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, you polymorphs Grog into a gorilla, and she herself Beast Shapes into a giant eagle. Everyone moves through the bog canopy and enters a shaded nightfall in proximity to the giant tree. DM: Suddenly your consciousness kind of extends into all the nearby, and it's rush because there's just life all around you, life itself is dark, it's twisted, but it is living. What do you wish to ask of the nearby essence? Player: Um, okay. Can I figure out what is feeding the tree, what the tree, if the tree is consuming things around it, what is fueling the tree? DM: The response? Player: I sense a lot coming out from the tree, that's clear, can I sense an energy going in towards the tree? DM: Well, your question is, what is feeding the tree? You have to ask a question. Player: What is fueling the tree, yes. DM: Sondur.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Mollymauk Tealeaf, a tiefling blood hunter . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Yasha, furious, uses Necrotic Shroud and two large, skeletal black wings emerge from her shoulder blades, the tips of her hair turn black, and her eyes go jet black. Two wolves attack Jester, still trying to pull Caleb out of danger. DM: You do one point of damage to it as you slug it in the back of the head, it runs off the board in this direction. This one is going to run this way. Player: I'm going to take a-- DM: Yes, you do. Go for it. Player: That's 19. DM: That hits. Go ahead and roll damage. Player: That's five points of damage. DM: Five points of damage. You strike past it. It keeps running, charges this direction. The ogre right now, being surrounded and watching the rest of its fellows run away, is backing up and looking, "Where Emmett?!" Oh yeah, thank you. He's blocked from my position. He is going to, seeing everything else fleeing, scatter as well. Just runs off the map. That finishes their go. Caleb, you're up.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Percival de Rolo, a human gunslinger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, He snaps his fingers and an imp appears on his shoulder. He introduces the imp as Vasa, their guide. DM: "Vasa will guide you. Thankfully, the stronghold is near the torture pits, so there is general din and sound and agony to surround. So that might offer you some solace in being unheard. But be careful." Player: Any advice would be welcome. We want what you want. DM: "I know. Rest. Prepare. Enter where is easiest, always the path of least resistance. Get the jump, surprise and silence. When it's time to leave, I can help you travel mostly unseen, should you avoid some of the more piercing eyes of this domain." Player: Would you know where to get a Silence spell, out of curiosity? DM: "I can provide maybe one or two." Player: One would be-- two would be even more helpful. DM: "Very well. Rest. I'll be here waiting."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vax Vax'ildan, a half-elf rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Being the adventurers they are, they took it upon themselves to leap out into the forest of the Vesper Timberland, found and hunted down this hydra, fought it, and upon slaying it discovered that there was another group also hunting this hydra. An actually sanctioned group, and hunting this hydra is considered illegal in Vasselheim unless you had actually been contracted to do so. DM: As you enter, Hosin lowers his head and offers his arms at the rest of you to acquiesce. Stepping into the room, you see-- once again, a room that has a square or rectangular table in the center that has a series of small platters on it with bits of previously devoured meal, and there are three small cushions on the ground that you see would act as some sort of sitting arrangement. The opposite side of the room has three large purple cushions on which there are two women, also servants, that are just lying back comfortably, just resting, and in the center, you see a man, very dark complexion, ratty looking, crimped dark hair, very well-trimmed beard and mustache ensemble, and long black and gold robes. Very, very long sleeves and jewelry adorning every ounce of his hands, his fingers, you can barely see the actual skin beneath, there is just so much jewelry adorning him. He looks up smiling with his elbows near the edge of the table. "Have a seat. We are to talk, yes? Introduce yourselves. Guests are always welcome, but I wish to know who it is that I am guesting for." Player: I seat Coralin and have a seat myself. And pretending to check out the women in the room, I make a perception check. And that is a 16. DM: All right, what are trying to see? Player: Oh, if anything sets off my alarm bells. DM: They seem to be lounging. And there isn't like fear in their eyes or that they are being mistreated per se. Almost like they're here for atmosphere. Player: And the room itself? DM: The room itself-- Most of the walls have like a velvety texture to them. All the wood has been covered with some sort of material that has a comfortable almost-- Everything feels like it's a lounging bedroom. And that's the aesthetic of a lot of the interior of this location. You cannot quite see the source of the light in the room. It almost feels like there's an indirect lighting accoutrement across the ceiling. Whatever the source of lighting is, it's being spread across the top. It gives this sort of dark intimate feel to this current room at least. As he gestures out to the rest of you to sit. "I fear there are only three seats, but I assume that your accompaniment are accustomed to standing, anyway. So do not worry. Very good. Now you say you come for membership. Membership does not come cheap. Membership does not come to anyone. We have a certain level of clientele we wish to keep, because in keeping this it is easy enough for us to consider it very-- how do I say?-- exquisite."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Yasha Nydoorin, a half-angel barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, At sunset, they camp. you and Fjord take second watch, and are joined by Jester when their conversation wakes her. DM: Fjord maintains it, but all this in absolute silence. There is no sound, just shadows and starlight. As you’re now being grappled by two men, the spell breaks from you. However, they’re still holding you. As you feel a gag pulled over your mouth from one of them, the other one begins to throw rope around you. You’re looking over the side and you can see another gag showed into Fjord’s mouth. Manacles are being shoved onto his arms and legs. He's unable to move. Jester tries to break free off the opposite-- not with a natural seven. She’s kicking and screaming, but there is no sound coming out and as she’s pushed down, another figure comes up and throws shackles onto her arms behind her and her legs. She’s yelling and yelling and a gag is pulled over her mouth. What are you doing? Player: Am I--? DM: There’s two people that are now coming to grapple you. Player: I take out my weapon and I’m ready to go. DM: All right. You pull your weapon. Make an attack, if you want. Player: Yes. Okay. 25. DM: 25 hits. Roll damage on that.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vex Vex'ahlia, a half-elf ranger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, They arrive at the Cerulean Palace. Realizing that Scanlan had J'mon's medallion when he left, they instead present J'mon's flute and ask for an audience. DM: Yeah, it's easy enough to find. You head down to where the makeshift garrison, which has now seen reconstruction, actually being turned into a decent functional garrison within the town itself. A lot of the guards are out there running through their drills for the afternoon, and you can see Jarrett is in the process of running them through what looks like ranged combat training. As you approach, Jarett looks over and watches you walking up from a distance and kind of gives a wave, "Hello!" Player: Hi. DM: "So, everything seems to be in order here. I have to say, I am very glad to know that we have no more dragons for quite some time." And you see he's recovering; he's healing, but there is noticeable scarring on the side of his neck. And it looks like he's going through the process of recovering from the Thordak battle, but he's doing much better than the last time you saw him. Player: How are you mentally? DM: To be perfectly honest, very happy to not be anywhere near that terrible city. I never thought I had the sense for the slower parts of the countryside, but I don't know; I've come to like it here in Whitestone. Player: It is quite nice. Well, you're welcome to stay. DM: Well, I was intending to. Player: We are planning to rebuild our home in Emon as well. DM: Yes, yes. Player: So it's up to you where you'd like to be. DM: Really, you employ me so it is more up to you, but I kind of like the change in temperature. Player: I do too. DM: Bit chillier up here, north. Player: Well, in case you're wondering, we just came from Marquet. DM: Oh? Player: Where we spoke with the Grand Maven? DM: Right? Player: Of J'mon Sa Ord. Spoke very highly of you and she's working on getting your name cleared. DM: Really?

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vax Vax'ildan, a half-elf rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Seeker Assum had requested to have been met in the foyer by our rogue here, who forgot and then decided to go on his own upstairs, following the Briarwoods to the second floor where their guest room was set. He distracted one of the guards with his Serpent Belt, knocked out the other, entered the room, and found himself face-to-face with the Briarwoods themselves. DM: 15, okay. Gives you a look. "Very well. Apparently, the help was not very helpful." At which point, you hear this fast knock at the door, and you hear a voice go, "Are you all right? Is everyone all right?" Behind the door. At which point, Lady Briarwood just does this with her finger, and the door swings open (creak) on its own. The guard that ran after your belt is standing there holding the groggy, just slightly coming to second guard that you knocked out, and as he pulls him towards the door, he looks over and sees this, and he goes, drops him, and goes for his weapon, and Lord Briarwood puts his hand up, and goes, "Do not worry. We're just having a conversation. Close the door. And get him up. Yes, not a worry sir." And he closes the door, and you hear the scuffling behind the wood of him, adjusting and waking up the guard who you had clobbered in the side of the head, getting him to consciousness. So they're both just looking you over. Lord Briarwood's just walking back and forth, keeping a very keen eye. He walks between you and the door. As you stand there. Almost like he's waiting for a reaction of some kind, for you to initiate something. Player: Thank you so much. Thank you so much! What can I do to help? I'm pretty meager a servant, but anything you need, whatever you need! Gosh, you guys are good-looking. It isn't that, is it? DM: You hear a throaty chuckle from Lady Briarwood across the way. (chuckles) "No, but what do you think, my love?" Lord Briarwood comes up from behind, his hands on the back of your shoulder, and says, "Like we said, you haven't the gift of the silver tongue. But I applaud your effort." Player: Well, my mom and dad said I'm a real good speaker. They paid for a tutor? To teach me how to talk. And it's worked out really well for me in my life. So if you need an ambassador, or a butler who talks? I could do that for you. DM: Lady Briarwood at this point steps a couple steps closer. She's still about 15 feet from you. He's right behind you. Right between you and the door. She steps forward and looks over at her husband again, and goes, "What do you think? Can we trust him?" And Lord Briarwood leans forward, and you can feel his chin peeking into your peripheral vision. "I'm afraid not. It seems--" Player: Well, here's the thing you need to know about Uriel. And I take a step back. DM: Into him? Player: No! Away. DM: He's between you and the door. Player: Well, does he hold me if I turn? Well, I just said that, right? Here's the thing about Uriel. DM: As you go to move away, his arms that are on your shoulder, tighten, flex, and hold you in place.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vex Vex'ahlia, a half-elf ranger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, He pulls out Bad News and swings it like a bat, bludgeoning the entity and thankfully not damaging the gun. The entity strikes back at Percy, missing the first swing but hitting with the second. DM: No, the dodge is not there. It rarely came into play. Okay, so that puts you at another 15 points of bludgeoning damage as it just smacks you right across the head. Your eyes go dizzy for a second, and you take a minute to refocus your vision, and you can now see in the air, the shimmering expression that looks like a humanoid face stretched and ghastly going (gasps) in front of you, but it's still barely even visible, and only because of the proximity to you are you able to actually make out any sort of shape or shimmer in the air in front of you. The other one is attempting to choke out the prisoner. However, the prisoner resists through athletics, so he's currently holding back at bay the strength of the entity. That ends its turn. Trinket's up. Player: Trinket's up! He's going to try to jump and land on top of the ghostly thing and bite its face. I don't know how to do that. DM: To do a real leap, Trinket would have to back up and then run towards it. If Trinket wants to do that. Okay. So Trinket backs up. As it does, it gets one free swipe at Trinket. That is 18 to hit. Player: I'm having an issue here. Because I have 18 in parentheses, and then I wrote a 20 and I circled it and I don't know why. DM: I don't know why, either. Player: 18 is probably-- DM: Yeah, we'll say 18. So that hits. Trinket takes 15 points of bludgeoning damage as the entity swings out and backhands Trinket. However Trinket now leaps-- go ahead and make an athletics check.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Jester Lavorre, a tiefling cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Caleb and the crewman make their way upstairs, fighting, and you joins in the fray as Caduceus makes it onto the boat, which still moving away from the harbor, and he drops the disguise. The crewman continues to attack as you and Caleb try to convince him to put down his weapon. DM: Probably. All right, so on that, he's going to go ahead and make his way towards you, Jester. He comes up and is going to make two swings at you. Player: I use Hellish Rebuke. DM: Well, first you have to see if it hits. That is going to be a 15 to hit. I believe that misses. Player: No. DM: That's a 19 to hit. Player: Okay, yes. I use Hellish Rebuke. DM: All right, go for it. That is ten points of slashing damage to you. Player: Okay. DM: A two-handed (whoosh) swings past you. Player: He takes 21 points of damage back. DM: He has to make a save, right? Player: Yes. DM: That is a natural 14, but has no bonus to his dex, so it's a 14. Player: Yeah, it's only a 12 dex save. DM: Right, because it's a racial ability. Player: Yeah, it's a racial ability. DM: He takes half damage? What is it? Player: What did I say? 21? Half of that, 11. DM: All right. Ice shards pierce out of the blast area and his body is (groans). He's looking really hurt now, and he's frustrated and his eyes are starting to go a little wild, realizing that this is turning on him pretty heavily. All right. Caduceus. (counting) You're just like, (breathing hard). As you glance over--

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vex Vex'ahlia, a half-elf ranger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Keyleth, maintaining concentration on Grasping Vine, grabs the helmed horror next to Scanlan and drags it towards her. She then attempts to hit it with her staff but the attack is deflected easily due to how thick the armor is. DM: Okay. He is technically in melee with you, so you get disadvantage on these strikes unless you want to move away. Player: Does he get an attack of opportunity, though, if I scooch back? DM: He would, unless-- he didn't take one against you when you ran back because you disengaged, so yes, he would. Player: Okay, yeah. DM: Okay, so you move back a step. That is a 21. Player: Hits. DM: Okay, you take nine points of slashing damage as you reach back. The creature (whoosh) arcs with its sword and manages to strike you. Player: Bastard! DM: Roll for your attacks. Player: Okay, that is a 26 and a 23. DM: Both hit. Player: I didn't Hunter's Mark him, because I'm brilliant. Yes! 15, 30, 34 points. DM: 34 points of damage for both? Player: Yeah, two eights. Plus 14. Plus my bracers. DM: Right. You pull the arrows out and launch them both simultaneously, two arrows in one notch; release them both. One slams into the armor. That one goes underneath the helmet, and as it strikes you hear this horrible echoing (screeching) screech that echoes as the armor (thud) falls to the ground.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Tiberius Stormwind, a dragonborn sorcerer . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, K'Varn falls, but is immediately brought back to undeath by the Horn of Orcus. A ray from his eyestalk turns Kima to stone. DM: Okay, so, as you release the Telekinesis, you pull and pull, but that horn is definitively locked in place. Player: Okay. Then I'll spend five more and I'll attempt to rip off one of his tentacles. DM: Stalks? Okay. Go ahead, make another check. Player: I'm going to check that last one off. Check this off. I'm blast-- I'm using all these from my Ioun stones! DM: Okay. Player: I, yeah. That hits. What is that? My, 20-- Oh no-- Fuck what I said, it's 29. DM: 29? Player: Yeah. DM: All right. So as you pull, one of the eye stalks gets flung off the body, and you can see this, like, spurt of brackish blood that spills across the area nearby.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Percival de Rolo, a human gunslinger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, You managed to, thanks to a very high roll from Keyleth, discover there was some sort of a waterfall or trickle of liquid near the hip of this giant titan. Its giant, four, swinging arms only managed to clip Keyleth and Vax once. DM: All right. So as it emerges from the wall, coming toward you. You do this triple strike against it. And it manages to carve across part of its chest, but its momentum is still strong, and both fists come to the side to hit you and rattle you from both sides. That is a 16? Player: Nope! DM: Misses! And a 24. Player: And that hits. DM: So you manage to deflect one blow, the other one clocks you on the side of the head. That is 11 points of bludgeoning damage. Player: Yeah, okay. There's all the healing I just did. It's all gone. DM: All right. And now this fellow here is going to swoop over and slam the ground near Pike.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vax Vax'ildan, a half-elf rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Being the adventurers they are, they took it upon themselves to leap out into the forest of the Vesper Timberland, found and hunted down this hydra, fought it, and upon slaying it discovered that there was another group also hunting this hydra. An actually sanctioned group, and hunting this hydra is considered illegal in Vasselheim unless you had actually been contracted to do so. DM: Exactly. You glance about the room as you're walking forward carefully, looking at the floorboards, looking at the tapestries on the walls, looking for anything that would be out of sorts, and your eyes very keen to find anything out of the ordinary. The room thankfully does not appear to have anything specifically trapped. It seems fairly safe. Player: Oh. Okay. And those are doors up there? DM: Yeah. Door to the right, door to the left. Player: Would that check include the doors themselves? DM: I would say with a natural 20, yes. The doors both also seem to be functional doors, not designed with any sort of trap attached. Player: All right. Pressing my ear to the door on my left. DM: Okay. Listen to it. Perception roll. Player: So many. Six. DM: Seems fairly quiet.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Nott the Brave, a goblin rogue . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, With Caleb's dancing lights glowing ahead, The Mighty Nein row down the underground river, coming to smaller gaps every few miles in which the boat containing Yasha, you and Caleb pulls ahead in a friendly race. Throughout the journey, Jester fantasizes about Tusk Love, casting Fjord as the hero, Oskar. DM: On the water? Okay. As you reach over the edge of the boat and slowly lower your tiny goblin feet across the surface, breaking the water (water splashing). (cheering) Go ahead and make a general dexterity check for me, please. Player: Ooh, not good, but it's dexterity, so six? DM: Okay. Player: This is fun! Hand me a rope, I'll water ski! DM: As you're so entranced by this, you glance down just in time to see one of those stones that's protruding from the river seems to have come out of nowhere. Before you have a minute to punch off, it hits you across the knee and bruises the heck out of it. Your whole leg starts throbbing and you're like, "Ah!" So your skiing is now (crashing splashes) underneath. Player: All right, I'll try to pull myself back up? DM: All right, it takes you a moment and Caleb, you go and help get Nott up onto the boat, but as you do, a little water logged, the water splashed over your face a bit. Player: Jesus, that's an intense water ski. DM: Because at that moment the lights go out. As soon as you pull Nott up into the ship, there's a brief moment where Nott breathes and looks back up with a smile about to say thank you before you see, out of the corner of your eye, one of the stalagmites at the top of the ceiling detach, float down and open up, almost like an umbrella before it lands and collapses on top of Nott.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Scanlan Shorthalt, a gnome bard . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, He hands her warning written in Elven to keep quiet during the meeting. He apologizes for leaving Whitestone mostly in her hands while he is busy with the dragons, promising he'll relieve her of some of the burdens when they have finished the fight. DM: Okay. You head outside of the main castle, down to where the training barracks are for Whitestone. And you can see Jarett's already out there, with a small, metallic platter on his lap, scarfing up some food real fast. He's gotten his day started relatively early and as soon as you approach, mouth's already full. "Mmm! Scanlan! It's good to see you." Player: Good to see you too! What're you enjoying there? DM: "The usual gruel that you find in this city." Player: Oh, I thought it might be something, meat-based that you could have popped up a bit with your spice. DM: "Oh, well trust me, I've used it on the eggs and it makes it bearable. Whitestone is not well known for its cuisine from what I can tell. Everything's gray and lacks flavor." Player: I'll invite you over to my house some time, give you a proper chicken dinner. DM: "All right, I will happily take you up on that offer, thank you." Player: Wanted to check in on (lowers voice) the task we talked about? DM: "The task?" Player: You know, the mission we discussed. DM: "Remind me again?" Player: I don't want to talk about it out in the open. But you know there was some illicit-- DM: "Oh!" Player: Items of medicine. DM: "Yes, I sent a request through someone I know." Player: Sent a request?! You're using other people? I trust you, I don't trust other people! DM: "I'm not going to leave the city right now to go find-- Look, I have two people I know that might be able to get what you need. But it's going to take time." Player: (sighs) I don't have time. (sighs) DM: "When did you pick up this habit?! I'm worried about you now, Scanlan." Player: I haven't picked it up. I'm trying to pick it up, damn it! It's the most difficult habit to pick up! Listen, can I confide in you, man to man, one on one, here? DM: "Certainly." Player: You're a fighter, you're a strapping young battle man, aren't you? DM: (chuckles) "I have been told this once or twice, yes." Player: I haven't felt myself recently. You know, we have these fights and some of them are pretty epic and there's monsters involved and I'm usually on my game, but lately I'm feeling a little off! How do you cope with that? DM: "Well largely by not using illicit substances?!" Player: Don't judge! Don't judge. DM: "I'm not judging! I'm worried about you. Like, if you don't even have a habit, why would you look for this? The Scanlan I knew, the one that hired me, he knew how to deal with this issue. He got laid."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Grog Strongjaw, a goliath barbarian . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, From the sidelines, Scanlan yells inspiration at you and Cutting Words at Kern. Keyleth attempts to heal you from a distance, but gets caught by a nearby Bastion. DM: This is yours, I believe. And that's going to be a nine. Or, sorry, a ten. So first one hits, second two miss. (whack) The first one comes through and smacks you right in the center of the stomach. With a double hit, that's 14 points of damage. Player: I would like to use my Stone's Endurance. DM: Go for it. You, at that point as the punch hits your stomach, you flex, feeling the strength of the mountain fill your body, your ancestral roots of your stone giant brethren fill your form. Player: That's 16. DM: 16. As the fist (crash) finds the side of your stomach, the iron-like form that is your torso stops his fist in its place, and you see him (pained exhale) pull away, shaking his hand. As he shakes away, he brings up his other hand to backhand you. You duck out of the way. He swings with a kick around with the momentum, and you catch it in the middle of the air. So we're going to start your turn with you now holding his leg up by the side of your head. Player: Oh, fantastic. I'll keep that leg up in the air. I'll move it over to my shoulder, take both my hands up and bring it down on top of his kneecap, hyper-flexing the leg. (yelling) DM: Go ahead and roll for attack on this. Player: That's better. 26. (cheering) That's eight. DM: Eight damage? All right.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Jester Lavorre, a tiefling cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Nott says that they've been very clear that they're in this for what they can grab for themselves. She corrects Fjord's assumption that she relies on Caleb for protection, saying it's the other way around. DM: Yep. So you head back up into the Leaky Tap Tavern. There’s a handful of patrons, a lot of them are talking or whispering about the events tonight. Talking about, "The tower’s still up there! It’s crazy!" The general conversation-hubbub through the room. Player: I go to the barkeep. Is Claudia awake? DM: "Probably in her office." Player: Okay! I go and knock on the door. DM: Okay. "Who is it?" Player: It’s me, Jester! DM: "Um, w-what do you want?" Player: Claudia! When we were over at the Gala, we saw things that were going on, it was crazy, a tower exploded and then all hell broke loose. Did you know someone tried to steal my stuff? DM: "I did not know that. My apologies." Player: Do you have maybe a safe or something? Because I don’t feel safe carrying around my jewelry anymore with me. DM: "No, not on me. Well-- Come back in the morning, I might have something for you."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Fjord, a half-orc warlock . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Avantika jumped in unexpectedly. As you made to follow her, Caleb grabbed him and warned him about the abjuration magic with an unknown purpose. DM: She whips around as you do that and both her hand grabs your wrist to deflect it and you wrench your wrist free as a natural instinct and you both have this moment of-- Eh! Player: You know, I do have a solution I think for this. Jamedi! You worthless sack of shit, you haven't done a damn thing since we got in this temple. You like to scout ahead, go forward? Get your ass down that well. DM: He's still at the top of the stairs. He goes, "Well, for one thing, I was paid to go to the temple, and no further. The fact that I have even come this far is because I need to claim my pay." Player: What do you want, a cookie? Get down the fucking well, let's go. DM: Avantika goes, "Actually, I think ladies first." Player: Well, I would insist to join you, if that is the case. DM: "May the best one win." She dives in.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Caleb Widogast, a human wizard . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Before impacting to the ground of one of the top chambers of the pyramid. Looking within the interior of this five-sided chamber, you noticed amongst the two pillars to the side a raised platform where there was a fountain of some kind, surrounded by three of these mostly-humanoid but snake-scaled, covered in places, yuan-ti people. DM: All right. (hisses) towards you, its fangs bared. That ends your go, Jester. Caleb and Caduceus, you guys are up at the same time. Player: I was rummaging in my pockets for the molasses, but everybody is dropping, so instead I pull out a burned twig and hold my hand out and cast Witch Bolt at 3rd-level through the twig towards snakeman. DM: Ooh! All righty. Roll for attack. Player: That is a 21. DM: That'll hit. Player: Okay, so that's 3d12, which I have never used in my life. I think it's this one. The fuck is that?! That's an 11. Plus six is 17. 25 lightning damage. DM: Nice! Player: Which I did from the ground, I guess, so I will stand up now. Am I within five feet of that guy? DM: You are, yes. Player: Hey, I'm going to run for it. I'm going to go toward that pillar there. DM: Over here? Player: Yeah. DM: (counting) 25. As you rush by, its snake head cranes around and extends out to bite towards the side of your shoulder and arm as you rush past.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Taryon Darrington, a human artificer . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, To step up to plate, Vex'ahlia. She accepted the challenge and, racing to the top of the tower before the fires could be extinguished in the brazier that awaited her, she threw herself into the fire. DM: Standing a full ten feet taller than you, practically, the wings slightly bent, the large planar entity kneels down. "Hello." Player: Hello. Vacation Scanlan here. Couple questions. By the way, was he one of the ones who fought in there? DM: Make a perception check. Player: Oh. Do they all look alike? 17 plus one. DM: Hard to tell. You didn't pay a lot of attention. Player: Okay. Hey, just wondering, a few questions. A: How does one get out of here? Is there a door to another plane? DM: "I imagine the same way you came in." Player: A god brought us here. All right, cool. Number two: Are there any other like your Dawnfather around here? Any other gods in the area? DM: "Across Elysium, there are two deities that call it home: the Dawnfather and the Everlight." Player: So we covered our bases. Out of curiosity What are you called? DM: He looks very closely, and you get sense that part of its nature is scanning through you; it's getting a sense and a read of you as an individual, and it says, "No one you need to worry about." Stands up and then takes two steps back (heavy footfalls) into place and looks straight ahead.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Beauregard Lionett called Beau, a human monk . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Caleb changes Frumpkin into a spider. At the guard shift change after midnight, the group splits into two: Nott, Caduceus, and Keg in one group; Caleb, you, and Nila in the other. DM: Easy enough to do. Go ahead and make a martial arts attack. Technically, you have advantage because he's paralyzed. Player: Okay. Just a straight attack? DM: Yep. Player: Okay. 16? No, sorry, 15? DM: That hits, it's an auto-crit because he's held. Roll your martial arts damage. Player: Aw, I rolled a one. Plus two, plus four. Six damage. DM: Six damage. You throw him to the ground. He falls and takes an additional five points of bludgeoning damage. After the fall, hits the ground-- off the wall, on the backside of it, he's now face down on the ground, still held.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Caleb Widogast, a human wizard . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Molly and Beau remain outside while Jester and Fjord deceive their way into the house disguised as Prucine and a crownsguard. you, Nott, and Ulog sneak in the back door. DM: You don't see any secret entrances, you don't see any other gates. Looks like the front door is the main way to get in, or over the wall. There is no one watching the back, as it is a solid gate. It seems like the only entrance is from the front, and that's probably intentional from a defensive standpoint. Player: How high is the wall? DM: The wall is about-- let me check real fast. This would be seven-foot. Player: Seven foot? Frumpkin's on top of the wall. What do I see? DM: You glance down. A small area of wildflower and natural bushes have grown to fill the space in between, where it's thigh-high. There is a door in the back, near the wall, with a small yard, maybe a ten-foot yard, towards the very back area. There's a small porch area with nice chair and a little reading nook. There's a book left outside that looks like it got rained on and forgotten, it's dried and crinkled. There is a door that leads in from the back of that porch area there. Player: Are there any people? DM: There are no people in the back.

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Vex Vex'ahlia, a half-elf ranger . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Deep in the dungeons of Whitestone Castle, in feigning helping a suspicious old woman out of her cell, you'ahlia breaks the lockpick she was using intentionally. The old woman angrily clutches you's arm, and the ranger notices a very disturbing sensation, or lack of, from the woman's grip. DM: Anyway! Let's get kicking into this evening's episode of Critical Role. So. To get all of you up to speed. The party has traveled to Whitestone, partially to free their name of some negative political ramifications back in their home city of Emon, and to aid Percy in possibly freeing his hometown of Whitestone from the oppression of Lord and Lady Briarwood, a couple who have risen to power over the past five years after slaughtering his family and taking it over and keeping it all this time. After arriving, they found a very heavy undead presence in the town, with giant zombies roaming the streets as sentinels. Most of the townsfolk kept under perpetual watch in this slowly will-crushing atmosphere. But as Vox Machina arrived, they began to instill the thoughts of rebellion. Stoking those flames once again with the return of the surviving de Rolo, they began to sway the people's minds to make a final stand. During that time, they also discovered that Percy's sister Cassandra is also a surviving de Rolo and exists somewhere in Castle Whitestone, seemingly under lock and key. The party began to systematically take out members of the new nobles who worked underneath the Briarwoods, setting many buildings on fire, leaving emblems of the de Rolo crest across the town and written in the sky, and after an extensive battle, began to make their way toward Castle Whitestone itself. Burrowing into a partially collapsed but long-remembered secret passage underneath the castle, the party rested for the evening with the help of their recently arrived cleric Pike, who had managed to project herself through the will of Sarenrae as a spiritual body given temporary physical form. While they were searching this tunnel, it led to the dungeons, the prison cells beneath the Castle Whitestone where Percy once woke up five years before, before Cassandra helped him escape. While they were walking through those cells, they discovered an old woman currently locked down below there who is asking for the party's aid in freeing her from her imprisonment. And last time we left off, you were helping with-- Player: Fake helping. DM: Fake helping with the lock, much to her chagrin. Player: Yeah, and I had just snapped it off into the locks so that it's jammed it. DM: Yeah, you're a terrible person. All right, so as you snap off the lock and pull away from it, having the strange physical interaction in the darkness around here, Trinket behind you just breathing over your shoulder, keeping close to you just in case anything's wrong. She pulls her hands away. "Fine. (huff) Do as you wish, leave me to rot." Player: Oh, we'll be back. Don't worry. DM: She backs up and sits in the far corner of the prison cell and (huffs).

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Jester Lavorre, a tiefling cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, you then turns invisible, uses Disguise Self to look like a little beggar girl, and blends into the chaos. That night, The Traveler visits you. DM: As your evening comes to a close and you go back to The Leaky Tap to go for a rest, you have a moment to yourself to think and have a moment to breathe and gain a little bit of calm. You sense a presence. Sitting on the bed next to you, you see the familiar dark green cloak. Player: Hi. Did you see what I did? DM: "I did." Player: Do you like me again? DM: "I was never disappointed in the first place, Jester." The hood still obscuring most of the face, just the lower jaw and mouth visible. Player: Why didn't you come? DM: "I did." Player: I didn't see you. DM: "You don't need to see me to know that I'm with you. And you're free now." Player: Yeah. You promise you won't leave? DM: "As long as you continue to be that wonderful little seed of joy and chaos in the world, I'll be walking behind you the entire time." Player: If things had gotten really bad, though, you would have stepped in, right? You wouldn't have let something really bad happen? DM: "Not within my power, no." Player: Okay. DM: "I do appreciate your artwork." Player: I think he looks better now. DM: "You're improving. Keep meeting new people. Tell them of what we have accomplished. We want more friends, don't we?" Player: So many. DM: "Do you think I could have a look at that strange relic?" Player: Which one? We found a lot of relics. DM: "The one that you procured from that Xhorhasian warrior." Player: Oh, the box? Yeah, of course. I dig into the haversack and show it to him. DM: He extends his hand and takes it and looks to it. Player: What do you think it is? DM: You see the side of the mouth of the Traveler curl into an amused smirk. "Curious. Curious, indeed." Player: He said something about having babies or something with it. I can't remember. DM: "I don't think I've ever come across magic like that." Player: What kind of magic is it? DM: "I don't know. I've not come across it before. I'm interested, definitely. Be careful with that. Things that are unknown are notably able to draw dangerous and inquiring eyes and minds."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Scanlan Shorthalt, a gnome bard . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The spiraling tower of black iron and copper. He throws a square, metal icon. DM: Yeah, as you approach the two of them, with the red chain around their necks and arms and they are leaning over the edge of the small wooden platform looking dejected at the ground. And approaching them, the skin itself is like a soft white porcelain with a slight translucent blue hue to it, white pupiless eyes. They look human, but they are beautiful and out of place here. Even in their destitution, you can't help but be struck by their presence. Both their chains are currently locked to this stump that is in the center of this wooden platform and behind it you see this grotesque-looking dwarf in very fine clothing that is very very dirty and old. He stands there clutching the edges of his lapel going, "All right, we've got here before you two, two I found and kept beneath my will. For sale. With angel blood within them." Player: (French accent) Hello, I am slave master Francois Australia and I am curious about your two angel boys. DM: "Well, if you're looking to purchase, these will both set you back about 10,000 gold apiece or 18 for the set." Player: (French accent) What can they do? I would be curious to find out. DM: (whispering) "Whatever the fuck they can do I don't know. I wasn't selling them for their skillset. I was selling them for their uniqueness." Player: (French accent) How do you know anything about these boys? How did you get them? DM: "What's it to you, small one?" Player: (French accent) I like to see a chain of ownership so I know that the previous owner will not hunt me down and kill me in the night! DM: "There is no previous owner! I went and got them myself! The chain of ownership is this chain right here." He points to the one on the stump. You can see greasy black hair that is parted in the middle, mustache comes down into a weirdly fluffy beard that has weird oily portions of it. He's an awful-looking dwarf. "So, are you going to buy or shall I wait for the ones I'm looking for?" Player: (French accent) Which ones are those? DM: "Piss off."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Fjord, a half-orc warlock . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, Molly asks to see the falchion, and tries to cast Charm Person on you, but he resists it. Animated D&D Beyond add Spellslingers gag reel Good Fortnight Kevin add How To Play: Pitchstorm Wednesday Club 5-minute one-shot: evil scientist plan DM: You head to the Midway Docks. Following the outskirts of the Drydocks, which are a number of these wooden docks that head out into various edges of the swamp, where there are small boats that are currently roped off and being watched by the crownsguard that come across with torches, make sure that nothing gets stolen or anyone is doing anything untoward over in the area. Asking around, you eventually find your way to a relatively simple-looking building. Single story, but it stretches quite a bit and you can see a number of windows that are faintly glowing with candlelight. On the inside, it does appear to be a simple inn, with a small bar in the far corner. It's better than the Keystone Pub, but only incrementally. Entering inside, it's relatively quiet. Looks to be one person who is drinking alone on the far end, and you see across the way a female human in her middle age, a warm smile with a cracked face who glances up from a small book that she is thumbing through and goes, "Good evening folks. Can I help you?" Player: Yes, you can. We're weary travelers in need of respite and perhaps some drinks. DM: "Well, I can provide both. My name is Uma Cole. Pleasure to meet you." Player: Uma. (kiss) Matt: "Oh! Well--" Was that a dirty hand? DM: "Oh no, I keep quite clean." Player: I was asking out of character, but okay. Did you give me the dirty hand, ma'am? DM: I was trying to process what that was referring to. "Oh, you stop." No, the hand was clean. Player: Okay. DM: "We do have about four rooms available for rent, if y'all are willing to stay for the evening. Our selection of liquors and beers are not extremely versatile, but welcome to provide as needed."

It's a fantasy role-playing game. DM: You are Kashaw Vesh, a human cleric . You are the member of the famous group of adventurers. Previously, The corpse notes that they are in the lower halls of the Amaranthine Oubliette and that it last saw someone pass by its cell two weeks ago, heading the direction they came from. A couple of guards, Duskmeadow Bastions, pass by, but the party hide from them and proceed past the cells to a locked door. DM: Total of 12? Okay. As you swing back, you dodge out of the way as you're pulling her along the floor. That's your turn. This ghost entity here does not get its possession back. It's going to make a Withering Touch against you, Thorbir. Player: Damn it! DM: With a 13. Player: Against my-- DM: Yeah. Player: No. 20. DM: As you reach out, you manage to pull back with your axe and swing in its direction. It dissipates its form for a second, and the attack whiffs through the air. However, as you pull on that side, Vax comes up from behind you. I want you to go ahead and do two attacks against Thorbir, with advantage.