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the more i think about it , the more it seems to me that apes look like fucked up versions of humans |
fucking shitty school bully somehwo got his hands on the book of memoirs that i published & read the part about my balls to the entire class |
driove 5 hours to rodneygamerfield's apartment to sit on his mattress and watch the animatrix while he played on the computer. |
im sorry the trolls bugged my office and everyone had to hear me say "heres your sign" over and over again in a shitty bill engvall voice. |
look what youve gone and done. youve shit-eated yourself again |
were fucked cause people would rather see fred fuckstone on the shitstone show than True hard dicked journalism that costs $1000000 to make |
"Just simply my posts." |
dog abuse 小狗的悲劇(3D animation) |
you gotta realize if youre a roach or any kind of bug its already game over for your ass. you look like a little pice of poop walking around |
MAIN STREAM MEDIA: why do all your jack o lanterns have a hole in the back thats the exact circumference of your dick
ME: no further queston |
i scan the docs & id the perp. "The Radio Shack Masturbator". bounty on his head. i put 100 bullets into my pistol and hit the god damn road |
the words Paul Blart 2 appear on screen. the black eyed peas begin singing "Let's Get Paul Blarted In Here" as the mall cop bumbles around |
people only think wizard of oz is good because they want to fuck thr tin man, if they didnt want to fuck the tin man they wouldnt like it |
Can Police Man Cartman " Respect The Authority " Of The Intesnely Cool Refreshingly Satisfying Mint Taste ONLY Found In Dentyne Ice ??? |
"although i cannot be the father she needs, i wish my daughter the best of luck on her life path. now let us sound, gentlemen." - konami_boi |
http://t.co/V5SvukJwXO miracle bird. kfc kfc kfc kfc |
yell prayers to the lord our god http://t.co/cVC08pyfBy |
every day across this world; loving mothers are giving birth to millions of little babies who ARENT YOU! |
adult baby diaper driver |
my ass cheeks have two giant finger nails |
please get the comedy central roast of My Ass OFF THE AIR. it has been edited to make me seem like a good sport., however im truly pissed of |
when thw pope says mother teresa is a saint.. i say she Ain't! |
this guys losin his mind. theres just so much quality shit on here http://t.co/gdVEIr3DLe |
i had a stern talk with my son over how his purchase of a $0.99 hdmi cable represents failure |
a boss should be allowed to kick his employees asse's. key to his workers house so he can just come in and start wailing anytime #bottomword |
in the nice days, the paper boy would hand deliver the newspaper to its subscriber. now he throws it at my dick and murders me every time |
number one. it is my right as a gold's gym member to bring barbells into the toilet stall and get my extra reps. number two. its not cheatig |
if U think the tiny stop signs on the sides of school buses are real Ur probably a huge nerd who had to get his butt wiped by the principal |
CONGRATULATIONS
Legendary Babe Ruth
"Posthumous conversion to Islam"
Now thats a home run |
i invented pain and I am so good at knowing what pain is and im biting my fingers really hard out of respect for pain |
the latest rumor ;which i dont even care to discuss or give a shit about, is that i was seen drinking out of a bird bath on easter sunday |
TWITTER APP: THree different guys you know just faved the same damn tweet. This is breathtaking. What are the odds
ME: please locate my wife |
receieved "DOG`s CURSE"...
"The Poster Will Transform Into A Dog Unless Ten Beautiful Women Apologize To Him"
It'll never happen! Im Fucked! |
two simple words that will save our shitty, fucked up country from job loss, restore our dominance over china and end taxes: "cyber pinball" |
id say my most defining quality is that i instinctively write tremendous amounts of think pieces whenever i see a naked person |
scientists may be able to generate working organs from stem cells, but never in a million years will they manage to lick my gay boots clean. |
i respect installing $40000 of mods into a pit bull to make him look like Frankenstein but changing his name to "btk killer" is too much. |
i love absorbing knowlegde from the expansive breadth of electronic information that exissts on this plane we call OnLine. its good to do it |
advising everyone on this dumb ass website not to block me to ensure that my sub par written word can reach your grubby shit smeared devices |
nobody has earnestly called a donkey an "ass" since the bible was written. stop fucking up my clipart searches with this nonesnse |
#Zodiacfacts #scorpio women have two ass holes |
my crippling fear of Hell makes me post really good things on my timeline #blessed |
pass the savings onto me mother fucker |
average person online: Durr!! Durr!!
Me: That makes no sens.e Please be reasonable and not post the most inmature shit. |
if you get omicron variant and win the darwin award i will kick the ass of you. i will put you on the doushe bag list. |
get one of those bill gates tubes that turns piss to water, load a big fat backpack with treats, cut the cord, pull the plug, fuck the grid, |
for every inch my penis shrinks due to anxiety, the trolls owe me $100,000 , i am saying it now. |
Im not playing games with your ass. Anser my god damn emails or i will fuck up your world |
nuke obtained by renegade AssFreak |
FULLY PREPARED TO TAKE A HIT IN THE OLD FOLLOWER COUNT TO BECOME AN ALL CAPS, ALL BOND ACCOUNT. LIVE THE DREAM. PURGE THOSE BOZOS |
maybe sometimes both sides... are good and bad at the same time??? im sorry if im doing this wrong. it is difficult to write |
http://t.co/6b3eFiKWJ9 icant believe this is happening |
excuse me sir, i couldnt help but notice that youre in need of a thorough explanation of kegel exercise. ok, it's basically psychic jelqing, |
Jacking off is a fool 's errand. I will instead opt to enjoy the films of Ice Age, Ice Age: The Meltdown and Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs. |
always take my stagecoach full of pit bulls to the Range . because my girls love to watch me shoot |
if i ever got face to face with the "Affluenza teen" on my server im thinking itd go a little something like this (plays guitar really good) |
im the dip shit top replier who goes into every thread about someone being afraid of moving out and says "Dont forget to buy a plundger" |
coming up with some new racism slogans... "Racism: Never knew it could be this good" "Racism: Gotta geddit" "Racism: Now that's what's nice" |
1) i do not owe you mother fuckers a damn thing
2) i will not hear any more questions or comments unless they pertain to MetroPCS, or Pepsi. |
next slide, please. this is a chart showing piss levels in the lungs of eastern & western public bathroom goers. the discrepancy is obvious. |
investing like $30000 in Nike because i think people are buying a lot of shoes lately and i dont feel like looki ng up any other stock names |
yeah lets ruin a mans posting carreer just to look "Cool" in front of our friends, all while smoking Pot and thinking that bullying is good. |
moving pictures are a sin upon this earth |
dont count the celebs out just yet, fellas.... i got the feeling theyre planning all sorts of those madcap stunts that drive all of us #WILD |
im going to have to put the tiny padlock next to my username until people stop oppenly disparaging the Food Pyramid |
even though "Hotep Redditor" has scammed me of $300000 I am upset to hear of his passing. i am sad he perished |
oh my god becky youll never guess who i unfollowed last night~~ cmon! guess!! ok ok ill tell you-- CBSNews |
im the ceo of legs |
rate my dogs dick dot com |
it will be good for all of us when i shorten my name from "the ebay boy" to "eboy" |
i am closing down the craft brew wiki because i am being treated like a zoo animal and nobody gives to shits . |
on a rickety stage at some empty roadhouse, a True mississippi blues man is howling aobut diapers, unappreciated by the toilet using masses |
i enjoy a bit of "Humour" every now and then, but people seriously need to sotp tying me to a chair and injecting me with unknown substances |
if anyone you know on here is a "HIT MAN" , block and unfollow |
Many scientists agree that in the near future you wull soon be able to be sucked off by a gadget or a gizmo, instead of a woman. |
thinking abou t having a phase in my mid-50s where i wear a whislte every where i go and make everyone around me call me "Coach" |
Keep Colm and Look
at
my posts |
extracting rare metals from my jeans |
FOOL: Election day should be a national holiday
GOD: No. Elections shault be held on the day of April Fool's, to teach WASHINGTONDC a lesson |
My Regular Life And My Ocean's Eleven Fanfiction Life Have Collided In A Horrible Fire Ball |
I've seen enough. Computer... link me in to DragonWeb |
rscreaming "Shut the Fuck Up" over and over again at my monitor as it slowly morphs into a Mirror and only makes me angrier |
its sunday morning which means u boys better either be in church or staying home because of another gynecomastia flare up like the poster me |
how do i morph |
the amount of faves your post gets = what your IQ is at that pount in time. this is called the beethoven equation |
if you have ever retweetted me without it equaling endorsing me , i will shatter your smart ass little turd stained laptop against my legs |
reluctantly jacking off at 60mph to the girl silhouette on the big rig mudflaps in front of my car while whispering "trucker's code" |
hah. i just read the entire bible and i'm still a lost., confused idiot. nice try, God. #BIbleFails |
looking at the list of accounts I voluntarily follow and wishing this shit was more Tailored To My Interests |
purchased a cage full of rats in the hope that infusing my home with New Life will fire up my posts a nd score me the Bertucci's deal. amen |
when you do sutuff like... shoot my jaw clean off of my face with a sniper rifle, it mostly reflects poorly on your self |
http://t.co/OZYFNThDkB |
oh you say you're going to fuck me? you're going to try to fuck me, through the computer? Well i say this, and that is "Game on" |
i'm looking to be hiring a very nice girl to crack open pistachio nuts while i Game. must have clean fingernail.. no hucksters |
do NOT go to "ZiggyMania" at the Tehran Hilton; only two or three ziggy booths set up; one of them tries to sell u fabrics you dont need |
my name is krayg. i am 49 years old. i have forgone all emotion. i am writing this letter to put an end to the tyranny known as Nick Jr |
wondering how i learned all the different informal synonyms for "penis" outside of health class. I think they announced them on the news |
109 year old man attributes long life to uncircumcised dick, no vaccines, |
im afraid our fair mayor has been living high off the hog by spending our precious tax money, as evidenced by his username "HighOffTheHog666 |
thank you for emailing me the picture of the pillsbury doughboys dick while my dad and all my uncles were standing right behind me. Not |