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danthareja

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cognitive-distortion

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My sister and I have both have children of our own. My mom treats her grandkid on my sisters side better example: going to each birthday event Vs. My kids being now 7,2, and 4 and my mom only going to two birthdays which was for the oldest and none for the others, even when we lived 30 minutes away. My sister lives a hour away and their was never a excuse for her. My sisters nor my mom calls me it is just me who does the work. It has been like this for a long time. My sister plans something everyone attends, I plan something a event of any kind I get excuses why they cant. I express to my sister my feelings she says im starting to pick a fight. I invited her to Thanksgiving she said she doesnt want to take her kid from her grandparents and her boyfriend kids away from their family. This has been going on to long time bringing me down for a long time. And I keep jumping in the ring for more punches.

And I keep jumping in the ring for more punches.

5Personalization

From the U.S.: Hi. I’m 12. I’m not trying to be offensive, stupid, ignorant, and I’m not self-diagnosing myself, either. First of all, I think I have Aspergers. I’m trying to get diagnosed, although it doesn’t bother me too much. I’m not sure if this is an obsession caused by Aspergers or if it’s something different. I feel like this obsession has lasted alot longer than my other recent obsessions, which usually last only a couple days or months.

I’m not trying to be offensive, stupid, ignorant, and I’m not self-diagnosing myself, either. I feel like this obsession has lasted alot longer than my other recent obsessions, which usually last only a couple days or months.

10Labeling

When I was around 5 years old (my best guess, I am not exactly sure because used to go to elementary school back then) I dreamt of being tied up and two or three people sexually abused me, in the dream I remember being touched and being asked if it feels good. After waking up, Unlike other dreams I remembered the dream in clear detail to this day, and could not make out of what it was, since at that age I knew nothing about sex.

2No Distortion

Hi,Rather than answers, I am looking more for a bit of direction. Over 3 years ago I was pressured into trying a single ecstasy tablet. When this pill kicked in all was fine for an hour or two until I started to get heavy panic attacks. After that, life’s been very different. Days later a lot of mental issues that I’ve never had before suddenly appeared: sensitivity to sound, completely inability to fall asleep, or opposite of that sleeping for 16hrs+ per day and constantly being tired, afraid of the light, tickling in stomach sensation, etc etc etc. I feared that I’d be stuck with this forever, and thus my symptoms just kept getting worse as a result.

I feared that I’d be stuck with this forever, and thus my symptoms just kept getting worse as a result.

1Emotional Reasoning

After failed marriage I was in 10 year relationship that now I realize was filled with constant emotional abuse. My self-confidence lowered in time and now I feel like empty shell and completely worthless as human. I am 43 and I see no end of this suffering. I know I should be self-sufficient and love myself and to know how to be happy alone, but I need friends and I need someone to love. During that relationship I lost all friends, and he assured me, he was my best friend. Though I firmly believe he really meant that and he didn’t mean any harm, I also realize that man has serious problems he is not aware of. I ignored all caution signs for 10 years and now I am alone, left and feeling worthless and sad all the time. I can barely work, I am aggressive and sad, I can’t smile or talk.

My self-confidence lowered in time and now I feel like empty shell and completely worthless as human.

10Labeling

I used to always just joke about being depressed and hating life, but in the past few months (sparked by bad arguments with my mom, having to put down the dog I’ve had and loved for nearly 12 years, and getting put into a class with a very bad teacher in school), I’ve been getting worse and everything I never dreamed I would actually do/feel/think is becoming a reality. I’ve been thinking about self-harm even though I’ve always found it ridiculous, and my mental breakdowns have been occurring more and more often. I’m more prone to crying out of nowhere or at the slightest mention of something even remotely upsetting to me. I’ve been in two relationships and both of them were terrible, one partner forcing me into sexual activities, and one partner leaving me for someone else while blaming me for the relationship failing. My mom has been switching between being nice to me, ridiculing me, and ignoring me. It makes my already low self-esteem drop even more, and at this point, I’ve learned to ignore her, but It’s still difficult sometimes to tone out her words. My teacher at school doesn’t teach the material but expects us to know how to do it on his level even though we’re beginners (AP Language). He gives everyone bad grades all the time and never praises us when we do good. His lectures to the class are no better than saying we all are terrible students and should be receiving even lower grades. He makes me feel unwanted and going to his class makes me really anxious. I’m currently trying to drop it, but my principal won’t return my emails regarding it. I want to get help, but the other part of me feels like I don’t deserve it. I’ve been surprising myself when it comes to controlling the urges to harm myself or worse, but the urges have been getting more tempting as of late. I haven’t really been feeling any positive emotions lately, but whenever other people are around I subconsciously smile, even when I don’t want to. I hate the way I am now, and I want to get better, but I also don’t want to cause anyone trouble.

My teacher at school doesn’t teach the material but expects us to know how to do it on his level even though we’re beginners (AP Language). He gives everyone bad grades all the time and never praises us when we do good. His lectures to the class are no better than saying we all are terrible students and should be receiving even lower grades. He makes me feel unwanted and going to his class makes me really anxious. I’m currently trying to drop it, but my principal won’t return my emails regarding it. I want to get help, but the other part of me feels like I don’t deserve it.

5Personalization

As I write this, I am currently at my grandparent’s house in Alabama. The reason for this is that my grandfather passed away. I decided to finally reach out because, quite frankly I don’t like how I’m handling this. I don’t mean to tangent, but I’ve had a crazy year. It’s like when I hit 20, something inside me went off and it led to a series of events of which the results still really resonate with me, and I haven’t really had a chance to really get someone else’s perspective. I think something that didn’t help is that I developed a really unhealthy obsession with J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in The Rye during this time. I think it honestly had a negative effect on me, despite my deep love for the book

It’s like when I hit 20, something inside me went off and it led to a series of events of which the results still really resonate with me, and I haven’t really had a chance to really get someone else’s perspective. I think something that didn’t help is that I developed a really unhealthy obsession with J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in The Rye during this time. I think it honestly had a negative effect on me, despite my deep love for the book

9Mental filter

From Canada: I have been dating my boyfriend for a few months now, he has an almost 3 year old son. We have no idea when I should meet his son (my own therapist suggested 6 -12 months after the split to give the child time to grieve it has been 8 months since my boyfriend and his ex split).

2No Distortion

I had an anxiety attack and in the midst of it I thought I was losing control and was gonna have a heart attack. I thought I just needed to leave school for a minute and take a break. I told a parent about it and they told me that my stress was self inflicted and that I needed to fix my problems rather than run from them. They gave me a list of mental illnesses and reasons for why the illnesses may have happened. I read up on them and identified with them and saw that some people never heal from them and that petrified me into thinking it was no hope for me. That I would be that 1% I tried a self help program and it didn’t do much help because I was scared it was a scam because I couldn’t find any credible information about the program and because the guy who told me about it seems like a pathological liar. I was shook outta my mind realizing it didn’t work for me. A hospital psychiatrist and school therapist said I don’t have schizophrenia. I still have this fear even after hearing that. Ill explain the symptoms I recognize with: I went thru a phase where me and a friend were trying to unlock more than 10%of our brain and thought we could flow our energy in our body by thinking about it. After finding out what a delusion was I quickly realized I shouldn’t even keep trying this.I also believed in 1 too many conspiracy theories and thought that the gov. harmed people that were trying to do positive. I had a really positive idea that could help the world and fear they may come after me for working on it. I quickly dropped that idea too. Now when Im reading tweets I read them a little too quickly and my brain changes words around. This only happens with tweets and when Im stressing about going schizophrenic (almost 24/7now) Ive started having nightmares about my worst fears Anytime I get scared I think ima paranoid schizophrenic now. I’m always scared my thoughts will turn into delusions I fear any low noise that might mean Im hearing something None of this has gone on for more than 6months. Am I losing it? PS I smoked a lot of marijuana prior to the anxiety attack

This only happens with tweets and when Im stressing about going schizophrenic (almost 24/7now) Ive started having nightmares about my worst fears Anytime I get scared I think ima paranoid schizophrenic now.

9Mental filter

From a teen in the U.S.: okay so, my boyfriend says he trusts me but I feel like he doesn’t because next week I have to go to another city for a competition with my team and we will be staying there for 2/3 days. That city is only half an hour away from the beach so he thinks that I’m gonna be messing around with guys while I’m there. And I told him that I would never ever in a million years do something to ruin this relationship.

okay so, my boyfriend says he trusts me but I feel like he doesn’t because next week I have to go to another city for a competition with my team and we will be staying there for 2/3 days. That city is only half an hour away from the beach so he thinks that I’m gonna be messing around with guys while I’m there.

8Mind Reading

My boyfriend and I have been “together” since August, but on and off since we broke up 3 times. He has these constant feelings of insecurity, self doubt, feeling the need to compete (he visited me after work and said he was better looking than any of the guys there, for example; and today he was upset that his best friend was poking me on Facebook, and it made my boyfriend insecure). He overthinks really bad, gets really stressed out and handles it the wrong way. Two weeks ago he got really stressed and asked if I wanted to break up. Of course not. He’s been cheated on and betrayed and he knows friends and family who have also been betrayed in the past, so I get that he will have trust issues, insecurity, maybe even a hint of jealousy (or a lot of it?), but I think he may need help. I’m not sure. I love him, and when he’s not being upset, we’re fine. But he gets upset a lot; today he said he wasn’t eating because he felt “down in the dumps”. That worries me because over a year ago he was dealing with something else, and stopped eating, and went to a mental hospital. He said that after taking antidepressants, he eventually felt better and he hasn’t dealt with that issue again. The issues in our relationship have to do with him; he always says it’s him, something he needs to deal with, etc. His insecurity, overthinking, self doubt, lack of confidence or trust in anyway, the way he views the world so negatively and always expects the worst possible outcome, etc. Today he said he wants a break. I highly doubt a week-long break will cure this; I don’t want to insult him, but I’m not sure how to say that I think this is something he probably needs to speak to a professional about, and not deal with on his own. His negative thinking and overthinking is causing him far too much stress and though he’s been feeling like this less (or talking to me about it less), it’s making him feel worse. This is the first time he’s told me he hasn’t been eating and that worries me. I love him; what do I do?

I highly doubt a week-long break will cure this; I don’t want to insult him, but I’m not sure how to say that I think this is something he probably needs to speak to a professional about, and not deal with on his own.

4Fortune-telling

From Hawaii: I am in a solid relationship with a man who is quite a bit older than me. We have been together nearly two years but I have known him for 3. He has, of course, been in many other relationships and was even married for a short period a long time ago.

I am in a solid relationship with a man who is quite a bit older than me.

9Mental filter

Through my childhood I was abused, mentally and physically. I believe I have done my best to overcome it and get as much closure as possible. However, and as much as I don’t enjoy to admit, it’s still with me. I’m 18, I ended the toxic ties I had with my abusers, and overall I’m an healthy individual. Nonetheless, I carry bad habits from that time, such as dissociation. I daydream all the time, I need to constantly have sounds on, either music or TV (even if I’m not watching it), I feel empty and zombie like every few days. I know what this is, and I also have waves of depression now and then, but i can’t figure it out why. I want to fix it. From my experience, psychologists and psychiatrist don’t help. I don’t know what to do. I don’t particularly want to talk about the abuse, but i want to be healthy. I’m tired of having this abuse influence me. I want to be healthy.

2No Distortion

I do have my handful of disorders in disarray, but that’s not what I’m here for, just a general question that popped in my head. OCD is a very real condition that people do suffer from, but there are the non-suffers who claim to be under the influence of OCD, who just get the satisfaction of an &”OCD-fix” (ie seeing a ball fall into a hole that seems like the hole was designed for said ball). Does this mean that every human has some type of OCD that is a more of toned-down version for the people who have it classed under the mental condition, or is it some type of satisfaction that our brain produces chemicals for, like dopamine?

2No Distortion

I’m a 17 year old guy and a high school student and my problem is everyone is hostile toward me. I have no actual friends and even school idiots ridicule me. I’m doing really good in education, but that does not affect my social status. No one permits me to join their conversation and whenever they let me to join, they probably want to ridicule me in between.

I’m a 17 year old guy and a high school student and my problem is everyone is hostile toward me. I have no actual friends and even school idiots ridicule me.

10Labeling

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 4 years and I feel like I don’t even know him anymore. We fight almost everyday over stuff like he spends more time with his friends than me or he doesn’t keep his word. I think he doesn’t care because he’s always picking a fight with me and he’s blaming every fight on me saying I started it like a child. Every time we fight he always leaves and when he comes back he acts like nothing happened, like all the cursing and the hurt feeling were nothing. I try to tell him leaving is not the answer and that if he wants things to get better that we need to talk things through. I’m constantly telling him that and he just does it again. In our relationship when one of us does something wrong we have to apologize. He’s been at fault for so many fights thats he literally said he’s tired of apologizing and doesn’t want to say it anymore. Earlier in our relationship he had been talking to other girls, cheating on me and I still have no idea why I stay with him. Part of me thinks its because I love him and I’ve been with him for so long, and another part of me thinks I wasted all my time with this one guy and I just can’t throw it away now, he met my family he does everything with us, my nephew loves him, every one of my classmates look up to us for staying together throughout high school which is rare. I recently fought with him cuz he had told me he was going to come over cuz I had pulled through a horrible night with his family. He bailed on me and so I didn’t talk to him. He said if I didn’t text him back he would get a twitter or instagram and it bothers me because lots of girls add him and as you can see I don’t trust him. I ignored him and he got an instagram. so that made me furious that I broke up with him yesterday. I’m having trouble coaping with this that I always come running back to him because I miss him, but then again we fight again. I dont know what to do. Please give me advice.

2No Distortion

From the U.S.: My husband and I used to both be friends with some neighbors. One of them has a TBI. For a year, she was calm around us, although we knew that she screamed and berated her husband each day. Then, she turned the same volatile screaming on me one day because she didn’t like that I was doing my MBA homework. I have never returned.

Then, she turned the same volatile screaming on me one day because she didn’t like that I was doing my MBA homework. I have never returned.

0All-or-nothing thinking

I have very low self-esteem. Every therapist I have seen in my life has made a point of telling me I am homely and unattractive, whether I brought up the subject of my looks or not. In a group they were intent on assuring another patient how pretty she was, but at the same time putting me down. We both had short hair and no makeup. Other therapists have put me down as unfixable unattractive, even when I had long hair, makeup, and a basically fit body. Male and female therapists alike expressed this opinion, even when they liked me as a person and enjoyed working with me. I know I’m not a supermodel, but I think I’m pretty enough for people in general. Why would providers tear down a vulnerable patient like this? (From of USA)

In a group they were intent on assuring another patient how pretty she was, but at the same time putting me down. We both had short hair and no makeup

7Overgeneralization

From a teen in Australia: A bit of background about me just in case it is a contributing factor. I don’t really eat healthy, I have trouble trusting people (there isn’t anyone I trust fully in the entire world) and I don’t get along well with my family.

2No Distortion

From Australia: im working on my dreams on the side but all i want to do in the day is commit suicide. I hate working for no reason. just a waste of time. I am wasting time that i could be adventuring life and seeing the world but im stuck in a ugly office 8 hours a day. im doing different things each week and trying to get out of my comfort zone everyday. Everything feels so average. my workouts. my job is just boring as fuck. isnt changing your routine supposed to change how you feel? I just feel as though i cant shake this annoyance. Im trying to do everything before i die. i dont want to regret anything.

im working on my dreams on the side but all i want to do in the day is commit suicide.

0All-or-nothing thinking

When I was around 8 years old, my older sister would have me play “truth or dare” with her. She is 4 years older than me, and most of the time we had to share a bed. She would make me preform sexual acts on her and get upset or angry if I told her I didn’t want to. She rarely ever reciprocated, and if I brought it up or mentioned it later, she would act like it never happened. This eventually stopped around a year or two later, but she would still make me sleep in the same bed with her for years after, even when we got separate rooms. She would always make me do things for her (nonsexual) and treat me as if I were her slave most of the time. I did everything for her until we had a falling out around 4 years ago, and now we don’t speak to each other. I have never told anyone what happened all those years ago, for fear that I am over exaggerating the seriousness of what happened. I know that kids that age don’t know any better, but I feel as if 12 might just be cutting it close to not knowing any better.

I have never told anyone what happened all those years ago, for fear that I am over exaggerating the seriousness of what happened.

1Emotional Reasoning

From a teen in Mexico: I know this question has been asked a lot, but I still need help. My mother has been calling and texting this Doctor. I noticed because one day I entered her text messages since she asked me to send some picture to a friend. When I did, I saw a conversation with only the phone number that said “HI Love”. I got freaked out but didn’t tell her about it.

2No Distortion

From the U.S.: This is difficult to describe, since I am only aware of aspects of it after the fact. This may sound like a simple communication issue, however we’ve hashed this out repeatedly, and, despite an earnest attempt to fix it, we’re stumped.

2No Distortion

From a teen in Egypt: I don’t know how to say this but I’ll try my best. Over the past few months abnormal thoughts have been taking over head. For example, when I fight with my mom there’s this voice in my head that keeps telling me that i should hit her and hurt her, and at times kill her. This is what made me realize that I should probably see a counselor.

2No Distortion

From a teen in the U.S.: I’m a 14 year old girl and I feel like I’m not attracted to straight guys. I’m only attracted to gay guys. I’ve had boyfriends but it’s not normal. I like them but I feel different when I’m with gay guys or even just seeing them. When I see or hear or anything about a gay guy or gay couple I feel something inside me and my heart just starts to race like crazy. I’ve even had a dream and I was a guy with a boyfriend and I felt like that’s what I liked. I just don’t know what to do and I could really use some help.

2No Distortion

I met my now ex boyfriend ten months ago. He had just gotten over depression when he met me (ugly relationship in the past). He was in love. He was always texting, always wanting to see me. I was putting all of my efforts in trying to be the perfect girlfriend – never angry, always supportive.

2No Distortion

Hello. I have a horrible habit of conversing with people I know…but they’re not even there! I do it constantly, and for long periods of time throughout the day or whenever I’m alone. It’s really been annoying me lately (gets in the way of school sometimes). Recently I’ve been trying to stop by plowing my head into my studies (small success, but like any old habit, it won’t go down without a fight). They’re weird scenarios I come up with, or sometimes I just pretend the people are there listening to me while I talk to them. Sometimes I even pretend they respond. Is this normal?

2No Distortion

Almost constantly; while I’m driving I think about getting into a crash, while I’m sitting at home I think about being robbed or killing myself. Anything, really. I want these things to happen and sometimes I gain the motivation to do something about it myself but I never really have the means or the motivation (for lack of a better word) wears off. To me, it doesn’t matter whether the fantasy ends with my dying or not, and whether it is preferred or not really varies. Recently I had a friend kill himself, and obviously it got to me; but this all started way before he hung himself. While I am devastated about his loss, I also feel an odd sense of guilt and envy because he actually did what I’ve always wanted to/thought about doing.

While I am devastated about his loss, I also feel an odd sense of guilt and envy because he actually did what I’ve always wanted to/thought about doing.

1Emotional Reasoning

I’ve been in therapy for 3 years with a great therapist. He has been a true godsend. The problem is, I’m having difficulty talking to him about sex, I was abused as a child and spent over 30 years, blaming myself for what happened. But now I feel ready to enter a intimate relationship with someone, however, my lack of confidence and my inexperience have made me very nervous about sex. I have wanted to talk with him about some of the details about my childhood abuse, to try to work through some of my fears and anxiety, I just don’t know how to even start the conversation. I have always viewed sex as being a shameful act and the thought of talking to him has caused me such embarrassment that I’ve spent whole sessions with him without talking at all. How would you suggest I handle this?

I have always viewed sex as being a shameful act and the thought of talking to him has caused me such embarrassment that I’ve spent whole sessions with him without talking at all.

3Magnification

From India: My husband started chatting with his female friends frequently during weekends and at home after office. They both used to work in same office. Now my husband has shifted to a new office. They chat about likes and dislikes. When I stopped him from chatting with her at home, he fought with me saying she is his very good friend and nothing else.

2No Distortion

I don’t know what is the problem with her she keeps on speaking and fighting with the family. if we say anything to her she doesn’t listen and talks very rudely to her children. I tried a lot to change her but she doesn’t change at all. She blames my dad and his family for this problem. She fights a lot with my dad and her children to. I am really frustrated with her because she just keeps on blabbering stuff and doesn’t do anything. We thought she needs a psychiatrist so we wanted to take her there but she says that she is fine and my dad needs a psychiatrist. She thinks very highly of herself. She doesn’t really care about her children too. I have a brother who is a special child but she keeps on being negative about him that he will die eventually. We get really tensed about her as she takes everything in a negative sense. We joke around with her but she starts fighting. She doesn’t even accept her mistake. It is really frustrating seeing her like this. Please help me out.

2No Distortion

From a teen in Canada: Hi. I am a 17-year old girl and have been struggling with family issues practically my entire life. I was born as a love child along with my brother who is 18. My biological father was already married at the time he met my mother and promised he would divorce his wife because he is unhappy with the marriage that was arranged for him. However, he never divorced his wife yet produced two children with my mother.

2No Distortion

I read the book -stop walking on egg shells- which was presented to me by a friend who put 2 and 2 together about my mother before I even had a clue. My norm growing up became sudden shifts of being yelled at and told that I was lazy and selfish, etc… and my mother threatening me occasionally with her own death, which left me feeling powerless to go live with my dad even though I had a choice. The growth I have done on my own is not sufficient to compensate from the messed up coping mechanisms I learned when I was growing up alone with my BPD mother. Regardless of meditation and journal-ing I am prone to perfectionism, people pleasing to an extreme, and I am just learning now how to establish boundaries so that I am not enmeshed in other people’s lives or completely withdrawn. Since I lived with my mother alone I have had loops of everything she used to tell me I was growing up- all leading up to “no one will love me if I don’t try really really hard to maintain their love”. I often give up on who I am in order to avoid, what I now believe to be, imagined potential conflict. I have been admitting to myself that I am not selfish, I take care of myself. Admitting that I am not lazy, in fact, sometimes I work extremely hard and that has made me successful. I have begun to understand my own values, morals, beliefs, etc. I am trying to shift my modus operendi from self-doubt and “right/wrong-ness” to deciding what I am confident is important to me and standing up for that. I feel like I need a little more support, more literature, and I need to understand better how this upbringing might have affected me otherwise. I want to be the kind of person that is generous, empathetic, considerate, and kind, but I want to have intentions of genuine care rather than fear of someone else hurting me. So what resources are out there? How can I stop thinking that my behavior will affect people’s feelings and stop worrying that I am damaging people? How can I stand more solidly on my own, even though I feel like I raised myself?

Since I lived with my mother alone I have had loops of everything she used to tell me I was growing up- all leading up to “no one will love me if I don’t try really really hard to maintain their love”.

4Fortune-telling

From the U.S.: I am currently 17 and a junior in high school. I am in dire need of medicine to treat my mental illness. I’ve been diagnosed with severe OCD and it’s truly taking control of my life. The anxiety I get from it has changed me completely and I can’t do anything I used to. I have intense intrusive thoughts that keep me up every night (I haven’t slept yet, it’s 8am on the dot and I’m really unable to sleep) and sometimes the thoughts go as far that I think about harming myself or worse.

The anxiety I get from it has changed me completely and I can’t do anything I used to.

7Overgeneralization

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost three years now. Three months ago, we moved in together. We are getting married soon and I love him so I want him to get better. He has displayed anger problems once in a while, but they seemed minor. However, lately, he has been losing it over small things.

2No Distortion

From the U.S.: My wife has an 11 year old half-brother (D.), and I have a question regarding something D. did this past Thanksgiving. D. was over at his father’s house that day for the holiday. D.’s father has an adult daughter who has a four year old boy. While at his father’s house that day, D. and the 4 year old boy were playing in one of the upstairs bedrooms. Apparently, at some point, the 4 year old boy was running around naked. D. (who again, is 11 years old) decides that since this 4 year old boy got naked, he would get naked also. Eventually, the young boy’s mother found D. and the 4 year old naked in the room together.

2No Distortion

Three days ago I found out that a year ago my husband sexually abused my daughter. I don’t know what to do I love my daughter very much and I love him I will protect her at all costs, I have put locks on her door locks on the bathroom and she is not left alone with him. I confronted him but he denies it stating he loves our baby very much and would never hurt her. I want to believe him but I could never not believe her. I want to know if our family unit is savable would therapy help what should I do. I don’t want to be a bad mother and I don’t want to lose my family.

I want to know if our family unit is savable would therapy help what should I do. I don’t want to be a bad mother and I don’t want to lose my family.

4Fortune-telling

My boyfriend admitted to me that he checks out other girls because I asked him if he did. It makes me uncomfortable. I think it is just disrespectful to me. I’m okay if he notices if someone is ugly or good-looking, but I am not okay if he is staring or ogling at women’s breasts, legs and figure. He said that it is something he cannot control since it happens automatically, which tells me he has had this habit for a long time. When I notice a good-looking person, I do not stare at their crotch wondering what size it is, or point them out when I am in a relationship. For me, I’d be happier if he noticed a beautiful person, not pointed them out and moved on. Apparently with his past relationships he was comfortable pointing them out, but I’m not. He has agreed to not point them out, and says he feels like he has to be conscious about what he says around me and that he feels more like himself with his friends. I have stressed about this for over 3 weeks and I feel it is ruining our relationship. I am exhausted each day, I cannot focus on my school-work and we argue about this because I bring up how uncomfortable I am.

I am exhausted each day, I cannot focus on my school-work and we argue about this because I bring up how uncomfortable I am.

3Magnification

From a teen in the U.S.: My parents have been divorced since I was 2 years old. I moved away from home this past fall for college. Since then my parents have been communicating through me. They constantly call me and rant about the other as well as tell me to relay messages.

2No Distortion

Hello, I am on here regarding a recent introspection I seem to be having of myself. I am no expert, I haven’t a PhD, but I’ve noted over the past year my emotions have become more and more dull. I rarely feel bad about hurting other people emotionally and physically, in fact, the other day I almost bludgeoned my sister with a hammer. I only pretend to be apologetic. I get an adrenaline rush instead of guilt, and the lines between fear and excitement in my mind have become blurred. I’m still doubtful though because I am a sadomasochist, I like to get hurt as well as hurt people. I’m not completely emotionless, I cry (albeit over selfish reasons). I get angry. I laugh. I know how to act nice as well, everyone who is not close to me can rarely discern my intentions. At certain times I can make myself feel a certain way. I am still a teenager so maybe I am in way over my head, but I am reaching 18 soon, and I fear I will let this part of me consume my being.

I am still a teenager so maybe I am in way over my head, but I am reaching 18 soon, and I fear I will let this part of me consume my being.

4Fortune-telling

Hi, I actually just went to the doctor today and was prescribed Depakote for Bipolar Disorder. I haven’t taken the meds yet, after getting the prescription filled I read the insert that the pharmacy provides with the drug and was a little shocked. It lists side effects that kinda scare me. Over the past 2 years I have went from weighing around 150lbs. to 215lbs. I’ve read that weight gain is a side effect with this medication. Also I have read about liver failure to hair loss, as well as many other side effects. While I realize that side effects may not affect everyone, that’s a chance I just don’t wanna take.

2No Distortion

I believe my son deals with this. He is currently into a 3 day episode of extremely exaggerated anger based on a non-issue. My concern is his response if he does not get his way – suicide, property damage, etc. Is it better to give in to his wants while the anger lasts? I do not want him hurting himself, someone else, or property. Is pushing getting help the wrong thing to do at this time? I’m torn between caving to his demands to – in his words – put things right or standing up to him and insisting he get help. This sort of behavior has been an issue for years and of course it is never his fault.

2No Distortion

I feel I am far too old to be grappling with this at this point in my life. I have a 2 year old, a newborn, a beautiful wife, a mortgage, and am a recent graduate from law school. I can’t stop lying though. The lying has always been for remedial things (telling people I played football when I was really in the marching band, etc.), but it has now infiltrated into all areas of my life. I have lied about past successes in school, work, faith, and general areas of character and integrity. I have been in sales for about 6 years now and I lie to customers about successes, mistakes that I have made, personal accomplishments, etc. I have most recently been caught by my boss lying about making a sales call I really didn’t make, and almost lost my job over it – over something he really wouldn’t have even cared about! I have a wife, a 2 year old, and a newborn who all depend on me, and I feel like I’m selfishly regressing.

I feel I am far too old to be grappling with this at this point in my life.

6Should statements

I am a 19 year old college going girl from India. One of my biggest problems in life is that I am an introvert and is very silent in public. I feel weird to interact with so many people at a time like in college, at office where I am working as an intern, at parties, social gatherings and even with my neighbours and relatives at times. People offen as me the question “why are you so silent?” and stuff like that. I feel even more awkward and embarrassed when I am asked such questions.

2No Distortion

From a teen in England: My girlfriend is worried I’ll hit her, It’s not because I’m overly violent, she’s had abusive relationships in the past and so because I can get angry easily (at others — somehow I can stay calm with her) she worries that I’ll lose my temper and hurt her. I know I won’t, but I want to try and prove it to her. I love her and I know I could never hurt her in any way, I love her too much.

2No Distortion

from a teen in the U.S.: Hello. I wanted to speak to someone who may be able to tell me How to deal with my mother, whose emotion are back and forth. I’m in 11th grade and I’m currently working on obtaining my associates degree. My mother is a single mom.

2No Distortion

From the U.S.: I am a 16 year old male and a sophomore in high school. I am a part of a team that is an after school activity. It is structured somewhat similarly to a debate club. The activity includes people from each class (Freshmen, Sophomore, Junior, Senior).

2No Distortion

From the U.S.: My mother died when I was 15 from breast cancer. Growing up, her and I never spoke or had conversations. I knew little about her. My father had been making sexual comments me since I was 12 – would encourage me to dress up in my mom’s clothes, take photos of me, and then take them to work and call me a whore. He also had this paranoid obsession that I was going to turn him in for molesting me at 12.

2No Distortion

From a teen in Canada:  me and my boyfriend have been dating for 1.7 years both 18 years old so our relationship is very good dispute the arguments and a 4 month break from each other to sort out our life because we are at the age where the decisions we make are ever lasting.

2No Distortion

I am 25 and I am really worried that I might have a mental illness. My sibling has had a psychosis since an early age (started when she was 12-13). So far, I have had no hallucinations or delusions, my thinking is not impaired, I don’t neglect my hygiene, and I am not forgetful. But recently (as I have been abroad and separated from the people I love), I have started worrying a lot that I will get psychosis. That’s when a weird feeling in my head started. It’s difficult to describe-maybe as if I didn’t get enough sleep (and I sleep more than I used to) or like tension. I’m also nervous and more clumsy than usual. My concentration for studying is poor, though I do manage to do it in the end. As a child, I had anxiety problems that resulted in motor tics (might be important to note) and I have some obsessions (like repeating some moves).

That’s when a weird feeling in my head started. It’s difficult to describe-maybe as if I didn’t get enough sleep (and I sleep more than I used to) or like tension. I’m also nervous and more clumsy than usual. My concentration for studying is poor, though I do manage to do it in the end.

3Magnification

background: I’ve been with my SO for nearly 10 years and been in his daughter’s life from day one. Her mother forbid me to be called stepmom etc and I am not allowed to call her my stepdaughter etc. So I don’t, I am only doing that here for ease of understanding. This weekend is the first weekend my SD didn’t want to come see us. She really hurt her dad’s feelings by telling him she didn’t want to see him, in those words. She came out anyway and e-mailed him that she did not want to come because I am Mean. She couldn’t give any specific examples except that I ignore her when we fight? The thing is we don’t fight and if her dad and I have a disagreement while she is there I specifically apologize to her and tell her we should save those kind of discussions for after the weekend. We do fun things together like crafts and baking. She told her dad not to tell me she said this until she left and he listened. I feel robbed of the opportunity to talk to her. I always thought she and I got along so well. I’m extremely proud of what a smart young woman she is becoming and try to make sure she knows that. She asked her grandmother to stop at my work just to say hello last week. This came out of nowhere. Now her dad wants me to talk to her, her mom wants me in counseling, and I want to ignore it because I am honestly thinking this is some kind of trap being set by her mother in hopes of getting full custody. There’s more background on her mom but I don’t have enough words left to get into that. The trust issues are not without merit. Also, Her dad works away a lot and her mom won’t let me see her when he is away. This time he will be gone for a month.

I feel robbed of the opportunity to talk to her. Now her dad wants me to talk to her, her mom wants me in counseling, and I want to ignore it because I am honestly thinking this is some kind of trap being set by her mother in hopes of getting full custody.

5Personalization

I think my friend has depression and a panic disorder. I fear that encouraging her to seek help will push her away. I am really worried about my friend X. I’m pretty sure she has been struggling with depressive episodes since high school and she really isn’t in a good place right now.

I think my friend has depression and a panic disorder. I fear that encouraging her to seek help will push her away.

4Fortune-telling

I don’t really know I haven’t been diagnosed I just don’t feel normal. I feel like my whole life probably mainly since the start of school I’ve struggled to connect with people and be myself. I feel like I’ve always been SO focused on what other people think and I just feel so awkward most of the time. I try and force myself to change and it comes of worse. I have people I can talk to but I feel like I’ve never had a friendship that I feel completely comfortable in. I think I have social anxiety mixed with other stuff. I just don’t feel normal. Had a boy that liked me and I really liked him recently and we had great chats over text, felt really close but in person I felt anxious and I just couldn’t open up and I hate myself for it, so it didn’t work out. I just want to be free and live to be honest. Ok so heres my question. Ive had 3 sessions with a psychologist so far and I feel like it wasn’t how I expected. I kind of really want to see a psychiatrist and try some medication but my parents are really against that, but they don’t see how desperate I am- Im way to scared to tell them I have suicidal thoughts a lot because I know they do so much for me, I just feel really desperate and want to try out medication so I’m just wondering if you can offer some advice on what approach I should take to this situation. Thankyou. P.S I know this is not a crisis hotline. I’ve had thoughts from time to time but I don’t think I could do that to my parents. I just mainly want advice on the whole medication thing.

I feel like I’ve always been SO focused on what other people think and I just feel so awkward most of the time.

8Mind Reading

I’m not a normal person. I have no friends, and no one that I can call a friend. I’m always pushing people away from me and I can’t create any relationships, male or female. I’m a boring person. Whenever I talk to someone I respect, sometimes I pray I’m not the only person in the room with them because I have nothing interesting to say to them. But my voice is also extremely quiet too. It’s so quiet. A lot of people I’ve noticed have an audible voice when they speak normally, but when I speak normally, it’s like my voice is below an audible barrier. When I try to speak up, it’s like I’m shouting and I don’t think clearly when I shout too. That seems to turn people off. In a group situation, I can’t speak audibly at all. My voice is drowned out, and the thought of how quiet my voice sounds turns me off from saying anything at all because no one can hear me so people talk over me.

I’m not a normal person. I’m a boring person. My voice is drowned out, and the thought of how quiet my voice sounds turns me off from saying anything at all because no one can hear me so people talk over me.

10Labeling

From the U.S.: I was abused mentally by a woman throughout my childhood into my adult years. This woman adopted me and groomed me as she had seen fit – that is into a housewife/sex kitten for my husband; which she picked out. It wasn’t that I complied because I wanted to please her, I was just too exhausted to defend myself any further because every time I made an attempt toward independence, she layered on the guilt or threatened. I won’t get into too much detail. But she was very manipulative, controlling, and cruel. I felt like she had repressed homosexual urges that she projected onto me. For example, during a family event she was ready to leave and refused to do so unless I kissed her on the mouth. In front of everyone. Even though I felt uncomfortable. (And made others uncomfortable.) She used to physically groom me for dates or meeting her male friends by doing my hair, makeup, and how I dressed.

But she was very manipulative, controlling, and cruel.

10Labeling

I have been with my fiancé for two years now. I have gotten along with his family fine up until recently. His mother began emailing jokes to my fiancé and me and we noticed that there were a couple other people on the emails including an ex girlfriend, who he dated for a short period of time. My fiancé asked his mother if she was still in contact with her and she said yes that they email occasionally. He told her that it made him uncomfortable and thought that it was disrespectful to both he and I and that it would hurt my feelings. She responded very harshly by saying she wouldn’t be told who she could talk to. And that if I was that fragile than she would never be close to me any way because she would not want to have a relationship with someone that she needs to sensor what she says because of my feelings. She then deleted me from her email contacts and kept the ex. She said that she would also be a friend with another ex-gf, who had been very rude and nasty to me early on in our relationship, if she was given the chance. I felt like the response was totally irrational, mean and disrespectful. I felt extremely hurt. Her response hurt even more than the actual emailing itself. I had always been very nice and respectful of his mother. My fiancé has been very supportive and says that he would feel just as hurt and uncomfortable if the tables were turned and it were my mother behaving in this manner. All we wanted was for some respect for our feelings. It hurt to see this relationship flaunted in front of me and then to have my future mother in-law blatantly not care less about our feelings and choose to maintain a relationship with the ex and not her future daughter in-law. Any advice or perspective would be greatly appreciated!!

I felt like the response was totally irrational, mean and disrespectful. I felt extremely hurt.

3Magnification

From France: My boyfriend criticizes me all the time, especially in the last few months since he is going to his psychotherapist. He want me to wait for him with the food ready, even if I was arrived in the house with ten minutes before him… he told me “You could do something to eat?!! On 6 pm I’m going to somewhere” (to the session, of course. Even in the days when he is calling his psychotherapist, in that day he is absolutely arguing with me for stupid reasons.

My boyfriend criticizes me all the time, especially in the last few months since he is going to his psychotherapist.

7Overgeneralization

From France: I work as a teaching assistant at the university. I have a mentor who I assist and who also should be my dissertation mentor. Because nothing I did was ever good enough we decided together that I should seek for a new mentor. I had immediate success and my thesis was confirmed very quickly, even praised by an eminent scholar.

Because nothing I did was ever good enough we decided together that I should seek for a new mentor.

5Personalization

From Australia: I am recently divorced and looking at possibly moving to start over. My parents have been great helping with my daughter by watching her and making sure she gets to her activities and such. The divorce and the circumstances were quite difficult on my daughter and myself and as a result she has been going to therapy to deal with some of the issues.

2No Distortion

When I was 11 I found out that my brother had depression apparently he was even thinking about suicide. By parents were mad at me because somehow an 11 year old was suppose to know what to do. They missed the signs too. That night I cried myself to sleep because I was scared I didn’t understand what was going on with my brother or if he was going to be okay. He changed. I thought it was my fault. Anyways, sometimes these feelings arise when he does things like tell me he doesn’t want to be alive anymore or smokes because if he can’t kill himself at least he can smoke. I couldn’t help him then and I can’t help him now. Everytime he tells me he doesn’t want to live it makes me feel like he doesn’t love me because if he doesn’t value his life isn’t that the same as not valuing any life? Last week I watched a documentary in sociology on the Jonestown massacre where 900 people died all those people just threw their lives away because one man told them to. If that’s what it takes then maybe a life isn’t as valuable as I thought. So I don’t know why something like this should affect me so much I mean my brother is the one with depression. Am I wrong for feeling this way?

By parents were mad at me because somehow an 11 year old was suppose to know what to do. I thought it was my fault.

5Personalization

I am a 28 year old single mother of two who lives with her parents. I graduated from college in 2008 but have not been able to find a job at all. I don’t have anybody at all. I had to move in with my parents because my ex was abusive. I have been suffering from depression for about three years. I can’t go and talk to someone because I have no money or insurance. I have insomnia and have been hallucinating. I find myself being irritable and lashing out in anger. I haven’t bathed in about a month. I’m afraid to go outside and I stay in my room in bed all day. I have constantly thought about death everyday, I like to cut myself. My parents get mad at me because they do not want to hear what is going on with me.My dad attacked me one day and my mother called the cops on me. I am so lonely. I just cut all my hair off today. I feel so lost and incapable of doing anything at all. I hate myself and my life. I want to always kill myself. I can’t get a job because I don’t have enough work experience. I don’t know what to do or where to turn. Help me! I feel like I’m drowning. I feel guilty and like a failure in life. I feel out of control. My brother tells anybody who will listen that I don’t do anything and am lazy. I can’t get over the only man I have ever loved and he dumped me 3 years ago and is married. I’m just a wreck. I feel like I’m crazy.

I feel so lost and incapable of doing anything at all.

7Overgeneralization

I am the youngest in our small family of 4. The oldest memory that I have is my mom and my drunk dad fighting. My dad has been a drunkard all through his life. He never really earned too much, just enough to buy his alcohol or clear out old debts (at times) so he could take new ones at the time of need. My mother has been financially independent. She has been the sole earner for the family and also the one to put roof over our heads (we have been living in the quarter provided by her employer). She used to be my dad’s guarantor for loans and the ultimate payer as well. My brother and I have not been raised luxuriously nor have we ever seen dearth of basic necessities. Our childhood was spent witnessing our parents’ abusive relationship. Dad beating up mom, him calling up police and then police ripping mom off her money for ‘disturbing’ them just for a family feud (threatening to lock 4 of us up if she wouldn’t), dad shouting out of the balcony that my mother is a bitch, random people coming and telling my brother and I that everything will be okay, my mother making up plans on how she will quit this world and also take us along and many more. Once I even told my friends at school that they wouldn’t see me after summer break. I was 6 when I saw my mother collapse upon drinking some liquid after being beaten up by my dad. All she used to say was she will give the man an answer once we grow up.

2No Distortion

I grew up in an extremely abusive home. My mother used to watch me get beat, she too was beaten, and there was never anyone that could help me. At age 9, I snapped and decided to kill my stepfather, but on that day my mother’s parents came took me to live with them. They showed me love, and cared for me, but I have always felt like something was missing from my life. I have sought to fill that void through relationships, but all have failed except the one I am currently in. I have had a spouse that got hooked on drugs commit suicide, then got remarried years later only to be cheated on, and now I can’t stop being suspicious of my current spouse.

2No Distortion

I decided to see a private therapist for the first time today, and after the session I felt like it was pointless (I have met with a school psychologist before, and she was absolutely amazing, & professional, so this made me question today’s experience.)

I decided to see a private therapist for the first time today, and after the session I felt like it was pointless (I have met with a school psychologist before, and she was absolutely amazing, & professional, so this made me question today’s experience.)

7Overgeneralization

My husband and I are presently living with my mother in her house for the last 10 yrs. I have a brother that moved in with us 2.5 yrs ago. Years ago he had some sort of breakdown and moved in with my parents and stayed for 4 yrs. I found some odd things on his computers. He was on some sort of online site with animals portrayed as humans. A curvy woman’s body with a sexy fox female face. I also found a small lion cub (Simba) stuffed animal with a small circular hole under the tail that was hot glued around the circle so that one could see the stuffing inside. I am guessing he was using it as a sex toy. I told my mother she asked me to call the psychiatrist he was seeing. I did he told me to get him out of the house immediately. I told my mother and she had him leave. He was laid off 2.5 yrs ago I found evidence of the same sort of behavior. This time it was a small black panther with the same odd hole under the tail and glued around, also his screensaver had a picture of a sexy woman with a fox face. I see little foxes scattered around the room he stays in. Guessing it’s his female animal of choice. I never said anything to my mother she’s been ill so I kept quiet. Lately he and I don’t get along. We (husband and I) don’t trust him. We lock our doors even if we are only outside feeding the dogs. He always lies and has already stole from us but denies it. My mother says she can’t survive without him. Rather than looking for he decided to stay here and care for our mother. She could do more for herself but he waits on her hand and foot. We got into an argument and I told her we were going to have to move I can’t stand living with him. She doesn’t want me to leave. I would like to confront him but not sure how far to push this. He’s very passive aggressive. I know I should leave but really can’t afford to and my mother wants us to stay. She may not live much longer anyway. How do I survive in the mean time? He’s creepy.

He’s very passive aggressive. He’s creepy.

10Labeling

I have a history of mental illnesses in my family – my mum has diagnosed anxiety, my dad is probably depressed, and my older brother has diagnosed depression and anger issues. I think I need to see someone, I get incredibly stressed all the time,I have serious trouble talking to people and I tried to commit suicide. But my mum refuses to let me seek help. She didn’t have success with her own therapist, and my brother’s convinced him that all his problems were mum’s fault, so she stopped taking him. Now she hates psychiatry and anyone associated with it, and won’t let me see anyone. I can’t organise it myself because I’m underage, and I’m terrified I might have another breakdown and actually kill myself this time. How can I seek help without my parent’s involvement? And if I do manage to get help, how can I keep it a secret from my mum? If she finds out, she won’t let me go.

I can’t organise it myself because I’m underage, and I’m terrified I might have another breakdown and actually kill myself this time.

1Emotional Reasoning

I’ve been in and out of many rather quick relationships my whole life, never one that exceeds 5 months. Every time it ends the same way; They will do the thing I wish for them to do the most for me Sex, favors, or carving my name into their body etc., Things that make them prove their love for me, I lose all interest in them directly after they do these things, most of the time I will develop strong feelings of disgust, boredom, or contempt towards them despite the partner doing nothing wrong or that I dislike but the opposite. I remove them from my life fully and forever as soon as I get the opportunity to. I will remove them from my life by lying, humiliating, or exposing them. This isn’t causing me any emotional stress but I’m curious about if this is a common behavior issue with ADHD, I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD since age 6 and my symptoms haven’t lessened since then. I don’t see this as a great issue just a risk of me getting hurt by one of the partners relatives. Some people who I speak to as friends tell me that this is very wrong to do so I understand that, but I only care about whether or not there’s a risk of me being hurt as a result of it.

They will do the thing I wish for them to do the most for me Sex, favors, or carving my name into their body etc., Things that make them prove their love for me, I lose all interest in them directly after they do these things, most of the time I will develop strong feelings of disgust, boredom, or contempt towards them despite the partner doing nothing wrong or that I dislike but the opposite.

0All-or-nothing thinking

For the last couple of years, since my mom and step-dad married, he has been treating my siblings and me badly. I’m the oldest, being 16, and I have a younger sister who is 12,and a younger brother who is only a little over a year old. My step-dad gets up in my face quite often yelling and screaming. Other family members and my friends have witnessed it. No one in my family likes him except for my mother, (who seems to have a thing for abusive men. She divorced my father to reconcile with the man that punched her in the stomach and put a loaded revolver to her head while she was pregnant with me). My step-dad has come at me several times, asking if I wanted a piece of him and getting a little too close for comfort. I’m afraid that he’s going to actually hit me sometimes.

2No Distortion

My sister-44 and mother-72 live together. Both are disabled. My mother is bi-polar/borderline personality. My sister has a chronic pain condition and, though not diagnosed with a specific mental illness, has NO self-esteem, is OCD and chronically depressed. She’s been married twice, is single, has no children and likely never will (something she can’t get over). Obviously that situation is toxic but unavoidable for financial reasons. I field hundreds of calls and texts her. Day and night. Though they both see psychiatrists for meds, neither are in therapy anymore since “it doesn’t work.”

Though they both see psychiatrists for meds, neither are in therapy anymore since “it doesn’t work.”

7Overgeneralization

From the U.S.: Whenever my partner and I get into an argument and my partner starts to ignore me, I tend to turn to my friends and tell them what just happened.. and I know this isn’t right! This often had made it even worse and we even lost friends due to this behavior… why am I doing this?

Whenever my partner and I get into an argument and my partner starts to ignore me, I tend to turn to my friends and tell them what just happened.. and I know this isn’t right! This often had made it even worse and we even lost friends due to this behavior… why am I doing this?

5Personalization

From a graduate student in the U.S.: I have been in constant stress and feeling worried for the last 3 years. I have constant chest pain and extreme depression episodes where I cannot get out of bed or stop crying. I have no friends because I am embarrassed of myself and my decisions and dont want to expose myself as a fraud to anyone. I am also deathly afraid of being judged by others about my decisions. I have worked a little but struggled in that environment because i cannot concentrate because i feel others are saying or thinking bad things about me.

I am also deathly afraid of being judged by others about my decisions. I have worked a little but struggled in that environment because i cannot concentrate because i feel others are saying or thinking bad things about me.

3Magnification

I’ve known my boyfriend for a couple years and we just started dating. My mom claims that ever since I’ve been with him I’ve been depressed when I’m actually really happy. It all got to the point where she swears I’m never home and doesn’t like when I get invited to my boyfriend’s family activities. She isn’t happy for me or will accept the fact. She won’t let him over past 10 on the weekdays but will allow my friends over past that time. He refuses to come to my house because of how my mom acts towards him. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m going to move out because of how controlling she is but I don’t know how to tell her. I know she’s going to freak out on me and not let me have anything that I own. I’m stuck between my family and my boyfriend and at this point I choose him over them because I see my whole future with him. I’m so unsure on what is right.

I’m stuck between my family and my boyfriend and at this point I choose him over them because I see my whole future with him.

4Fortune-telling

It’s been a few years since I felt this empty feeling but in the recent weeks it is becoming clear. I feel like my control over my emotions is gone. It is like my emotions became a switch and I don’t get to choose whether or not I want it on. Its like one moment my switch is on and I feel an array of emotions, then the next it is turned off and I feel nothing. I look at videos that are meant for the viewer to feel something whether it be sadness, anger, happiness, motivation I dont feel anything. This should make me frustrated but I dont even feel that. I am just concerned about what this means for me.

This should make me frustrated but I dont even feel that.

6Should statements

From a teen in the U.S.:  I know that you’ll probably roll your eyes at the “controversial disorder” but I am truly scared for myself and other people. I am a soldier in the Army, and I am on track to be an Officer in a couple years. I am also a freshman at university. I went to Basic Training last summer, and I suffered stress fractures, resulting in a breakage of my left hip. I am healed now, but I do fear that I may have suffered a bit worse mental health-wise.

I am healed now, but I do fear that I may have suffered a bit worse mental health-wise.

1Emotional Reasoning

I recently discovered a friend of mine has homicidal fantasies. I assured them I would be a loyal and caring friend and I really mean it but I’m concerned and wish to help. I know this needs to be taken care of by a professional, but I have no idea how to get them help when neither of us have the resources to do so. They tell me that they have had this since they were very young and fantasize about murdering other people they know: family, friends, even strangers repeatedly and all the time. They don’t have an urge to act on these fantasies thankfully but they are a very prominent morbid obsession for them. I am the only true friend they’ve ever had and the only one they’ve ever told about this as well as one of the very few people they’ve never thought of killing. I know that this person has a very high tendency to bottle up emotions — they have panic attacks, extreme social anxiety, ect. In short, they’re a trouble individual. Could you give me a general idea as to what tends to cause homicidal fantasy? And, more importantly, what is the best way for me to support them through this as their friend? What can I do to help? And how can I find help provided that they don’t have the money to go see a true professional?

I know this needs to be taken care of by a professional, but I have no idea how to get them help when neither of us have the resources to do so.

6Should statements

I have this issue since I was 9yrs old. When I was 9, I JUST used to make these characters in my head whenever i heard music and then make up a whole story in my head with music in the background. The music just had to be related to a story for e.g a story about a powerful queen story then the song “That’s my girl” But I used to this only when I heard the music. I didn’t do them by purpose. But when I turned 13, I started to “act them out” as well. I used to do this a lot more than before (I’d spent hours). I turned on music by purpose and then do it and I still do it now. I get inspired to do these stories when I see a movie or read another story. And I THINK music isn’t the main cause of this….it happens even without music. I hate it because it wastes my time and stops me from studying. I can only control not to do this for only 1 day and then I start to do it again. My question: Can I stop this? If yes, then how? if no, then how can I at least reduce it up to just 2 hours? Is music the cause or is it natural? (From Pakistan)

I can only control not to do this for only 1 day and then I start to do it again.

5Personalization

From a teen in the U.S.: So to begin, I’ve been diagnosed and recieved treatment for depression and an eating disorder, seen 2 therapists, and struggled with self-harm in the past 3 years. Lately I’ve noticed a few behaviors that are bit strange to me. Here’s a list of the behaviors that are concerning me: – I excessive clean my room – When I’m the only one home, I organize the pantry, clean and straighten up the countertops, and try to put everything in order – When I babysit, after the kids have gone to bed, I wipe down all the counter and table tops, straighten paperwork/books and put them in the upper corners of the table, straighten the TV remotes so they are perpendicular to the TV, and put all dishes in the sink – I used to bring all my horse equipment home every weekend to clean it (I don’t ride anymore so this isn’t happening anymore) – I regularly go through all my school work and try to organize it based on class and date – I’m picking at my skin a lot. I pick at my chapped lips for hours at a time, as well as ripping open the skin around my fingernails, and picking off all scabs multiple times – I have very limited personal relationships with people and struggle to make friends – I had 2 childhood friends that I kept for a long time (one for 8 years, one for 10 years) the 8 year friendship ended recently and I really don’t feel like I miss her – When my family goes out of town for long periods of time I don’t really miss them but when they call I tell them I miss them because I feel rude if I say that I don’t – I hardly spend time with my friend (the 10 year friendship I mentioned) I see her maybe once every couple months – ' – I lie a lot and am extremely secretive

I feel as though if I cut everyone out of my life I wouldn’t really miss anyone

4Fortune-telling

I’m a person with various failed friendships, usually i get very close to someone but the friendship only last for like a year, and i always end up thinking that i’m kinda replaceable because for the other person is easier to find new friends. In my last year of college i found a couple of friends that i’m very close with, even when we no longer see each other every day and work in different places we have a very good friendship. The problem is that i’m afraid to lose them, in my line of work there’s not much chance to meet new people and i fear i won’t be able to find new friends if i lose them. When i make a mistake, or do something that affects them, or could make the angry, i freak out, even when they tell me that it is ok i can’t stop thinking that we’ll drift apart. I know that i did nothing so bad and i would forgive them if things where the opposite, but i can’t stop thinking that i messed up, it doesn’t matter how much i want to stop, i can’t. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be this anxious all the time.

I’m a person with various failed friendships, usually i get very close to someone but the friendship only last for like a year, and i always end up thinking that i’m kinda replaceable because for the other person is easier to find new friends.

10Labeling

From the UK: We have a new son, now 9 months who is lovely. Most of the time I am absolutely fine. But regularly I feel depressed, I comfort eat, I feel that I am being a terrible father, I feel that I am not supporting my family correctly and feel extremely guilty for having these feelings. I am finding it very difficult to enjoy any element of my life. One of the most upsetting elements is the strain having our baby has put on my wife and my relationship. I also am becoming angry far quicker than I ever have. I guess I am really after a little advice for coping. Many thanks.

But regularly I feel depressed, I comfort eat, I feel that I am being a terrible father, I feel that I am not supporting my family correctly and feel extremely guilty for having these feelings.

1Emotional Reasoning

I recently finalized a highly contentious divorce with an abusive spouse who used horrific tactics to emotionally abuse me, tear me down, turn people against me, and even take my son away for a period of time (using my mental health as an excuse, which is absolutely not a factor and was exacerbated by him). My parents have been on his side through the entire process and I have essentially cut them out of my life for the time being in order to attempt to heal from all of this. During the last part of our marriage, he used tracking devices on me, routinely went through my personal items and phone, and the divorce process intensified his verbal abuse, where I was regularly gaslighted and berated.

2No Distortion

I come from a broken home. My mother was a serial adulterer with various major mental issues, and my father is a bitter man. My younger sister has some major issues as well and is abusive to both me and my father. Despite this, he seems to prefer her more. He is a pretty unemotional man by nature, but he is always talking with her and they have a lot of fun. He mentors her gently and speaks very kindly to her. She’s very mean to him, telling him to go and kill himself and has physically attacked both of us in the past, but he still adores her. I’ve always tried to be a good kid and played mediator between my parents when they were divorcing. I’ve gotten good grades, helped around the house, and even got accepted into a top university with a generous grant. I’m not saying that that warrants affection, but my dad can’t stand to be around me. He’s always very critical and controlling of me, to the point where I’ve begun to develop an eating disorder. He never sees my accomplishments as accomplishments and instead tears down what I’ve done. He’s always pushing me away in favor of someone else. There are times when he’d rather be with his work buddies than with me. I try to joke with him, make him smile, make him things, and generally be the best daughter I can be, but I feel as if he just feels obligated to be around me because he’s my father, not because he loves me. I feel this is because I look very much like his ex-wife, my mother. Or maybe it’s for some other reason, I really don’t know. All I’ve ever really wanted in life is for him to have some pride in me. My father is someone I look up to a lot and who I love more than anything. I would do anything for him. My family is very small. All we have is each other. I truly love both my sister and my father despite how they act, but I would like to feel that same love. I just want to know what I can do to make him love me the same way he loves my younger sister. How can I fix this? What should I do?

I feel this is because I look very much like his ex-wife, my mother.

5Personalization

I have been married for less than a year to a wife I truly adore. We have had many ups and downs this year. However, she is subject to raging anger directed towards me. Any time that we try to resolve an issue, she blows up uses the F-word, tells me she doesn’t care about me, and doesn’t want to be in the same room with me. We are talking screaming here. Three therapists have told me that she is being irrational and suggested the possibility of emotional abuse. I have not been perfect, but I always own up to my mistakes and apologize. All I want to do is resolve an issue, and she wants to ignore it. If I try to force things she reacts (according to my therapists) WAY over the top. They have also said that she stonewalls me. My family is suggesting that I give up on the relationship, but I am not ready for that.

Any time that we try to resolve an issue, she blows up uses the F-word, tells me she doesn’t care about me, and doesn’t want to be in the same room with me. We are talking screaming here.I have not been perfect, but I always own up to my mistakes and apologize

7Overgeneralization

From the U.S.: My daughter is currently ten months old. Her legal father (L.F.) is not her biological father (B.F.). L.F. has played a very active role in raising her. He has taken on a paternal role since day one, and she has grown to call him dada. My daughter has never met B.F. However, L.F. has now decided that he does not want to be a part of her life. Is there any potential my daughter will experience any long-term adverse effects due to the sudden loss of the bonded relationship she has formed with L.F.?

2No Distortion

People find me smart, but I find myself stupid. Although I love learning, and can earn any degree, in working life I do not know how to solve problems or use my knowledge. This makes me depressed and brings me failure. Also, I am thinking of a change career. Will this ever solve my issues? Or will I be studying in my entire life because I am not able to work properly? Or maybe I am really in the wrong field?

People find me smart, but I find myself stupid.

10Labeling

I have been thinking about my morality a lot lately since watching Death Note. I cant’ help but think about what I’d do if one dropped out of the sky; would I use it or not? For months now I’ve been questioning my morality. I’ve always said that no one should get the death penalty, but I find that I often go back on that without realising. I’ve been watching Dexter recently, (don’t think I’m romanticising his life or anything) and I can’t help but think that if I could get away with it, if a bad person was strapped down helpless on a table in front of me, that I would kill him. As well as that, for a long time I think I’ve been developing mild sadistic tendencies. I’ve never felt like hurting someone in real life but I love seeing characters suffer in their respective universes. I have been thinking about how this happened, and it made me think about a time 3-4 years ago when the ISIS beheading video came out. I was scared to watch it because it was real, but I wanted to see what death looked like. In the end I didn’t watch it, but I did watch the Facebook video of the homeless man being shot. The description on the website warned against watching, saying something along the lines of, ‘it’ll ruin your entire day’, but after I watched it I was just disappointed because of how anti-climactic it was. I know a guy died, but even now I just can’t get myself to care or feel sorry for him or his family, even though i know I should.

I know a guy died, but even now I just can’t get myself to care or feel sorry for him or his family, even though i know I should.

6Should statements

My husband and I have been married for over a year now. While we were dating, I thought that he displayed traits of honor, loyalty, integrity, honesty, and kind-heartedness, as well as characteristics of a hard worker, and an overall well-rounded individual. Two months from now, I will have known him for five solid years (for all of which we were a couple).

I thought that he displayed traits of honor, loyalty, integrity, honesty, and kind-heartedness, as well as characteristics of a hard worker, and an overall well-rounded individual.

10Labeling

I started cutting myself like two months ago and I can’t stop. I have been so insecure since forever, I have always hated my self and then my sister stopped eating so she began calling me fat. Every single day, and even my dad talked about my weight :( so one night I was in the kitchen and my dad had his razor blade on the counter, no body was in the kitchen..so I cut my arm. I really liked the feeling of cutting, and it took my mind off things. A couple days later, my mom looked at my arms and she saw weird scars, and she knew I cut myself. So I had to explain everything to her and how I felt about my self. She told my dad and my sister and then it turned in to this whole big thing, but she never sent me to therapy or asked for my blade back. My sister never apologized and she still calls me fat :( some times she will get bad at me and tell me to go cut myself.

2No Distortion

From a teen in the U.S.: My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 9 months and we’ve only been on 1 date (the day we started dating). I just feel like he’s not putting his full effort into our relationship. In the beginning, he admitted to pleasing another female. He’s not really sincere with gifts and important dates. He’s lied to me and He’s let me down multiple times.

I just feel like he’s not putting his full effort into our relationship.

8Mind Reading

I have a mental illness for sure. But I am not too sure about what it is. I have some symptoms matching with Borderline and while others match with Bipolar. Below are the key points:- 1. I am 100% sure that I have a emotional dysregulation disorder. I have difficulty regulating my emotions. They are rarely, not, intense and sustained. They are triggered almost always by internal/external stimulants. 2. Since as far as I can remember(5 years old), to being 20 years of age – I was generally in a mania state/mood. There were long periods in between, where I would be in intense grief/love, and intermittent short periods of depression, anger and anxiety. But the important thing is that, even in those long periods of intense grief/love, I was feeling grandiosity, a sense of omnipotence, and a very high ego and energy(sleep was normal). 3. There is no pattern of mania and depression in my life. If I go into depression, it is generally triggered(I am very sensitive and thin skinned).

I have a mental illness for sure.

7Overgeneralization

Q. My boyfriend and I have always had a great sex life. I have 4 kids, stay at home mom, plus I homeschool 2 of my children.. I am really busy, but we have always made time for each other. The other night I was just tired and wanted to watch a little tv and go to sleep, my boyfriend wanted to have sex, and when I said I didnt feel like it… he got violent and tried to slap me in the face. And made some comment as to the effect of ” Ill go pay for it” jokingly or not, I would this to be BS and downright disrepectful.. then he stormed out of our bed and slept in a different part of the house.. What’s his problem? He is constantly wanting sex, and some nights I am so tired, I just have no energy.. Why can’t he understand this and back off and respect this fact? we have sex quite frequently.. but when I don’t feel like it one time or another he flips out and yells or gets violent.. Is this normal?

2No Distortion

Hi there, my son has been alienated by his father for the last 13 months. It took for the Guardian ad Litem to enforce my ex-husband to put our child in counseling. I have wanted this since the day that my cousin’s daughter taped him confessing that he did everything because his dad and step-mom told him to. My question to you is, how in the world would 3 counseling sessions even do anything for my child? He was released after 3 sessions by a counselor who said that my son is smart. Is this even possible? To help a 12-year old get through this and just diagnose him as being smart? My child is not dumb and knows how to play both myself and his father. Thank you!

2No Distortion

From the U.S.: My father is a 75 year old who has been perpetually unemployed for 25 years and spends all day home alone–I imagine this affects his self worth. When he’s around larger groups of family or friends, he behaves fairly normally. But when around just me or my mom, he exhibits provocative, attention seeking behavior and doesn’t seem to be concerned about his reputation or how terrible his actions make him look. Does he have a psychological issue and is there anything we as his wife/daughter can do to make him better? Some of his behaviors:

My father is a 75 year old who has been perpetually unemployed for 25 years and spends all day home alone–I imagine this affects his self worth.

8Mind Reading

My husband and I are trying to have a baby right now, and it isn’t working. I don’t have anyone to talk to about this, since I don’t want friends and family to know what I’m thinking, and I don’t want them to know I’m a failure… I don’t want them to know that we want a baby b/c then I’ll get their pity or sympathy, or worse, we’ll just be the talk of the family when we’re not around. we’ve been trying for a while, and nothing is happening, with no explanation, since we’re both healthy…i am almost 30, so I don’t have much more time. i was having a hard enough time coping with that, when a week ago, my younger brother-in-law and wife announced that they are pregnant. They JUST got married 7 weeks ago, and are 7 weeks pregnant. Here’s my issues:

I don’t have anyone to talk to about this, since I don’t want friends and family to know what I’m thinking, and I don’t want them to know I’m a failure…

10Labeling

I feel overprotective about my mother because of the fact that I lost my grandparents almost 2 years ago. Since my maternal grandparents’ deaths a year and a half ago, I have been over-protective about my mother. I loved my grandparents very much. Both passed away at a month’s interval and it came as a shock to my mother as well as me. Since then, whenever my mother is out alone, I become hysterical. I constantly ask her not to go out alone, in the fear of losing her. I get so worried whenever she is sick or just catches a minor cold. My dad and I were never that close. I tried telling him how I feel but he dismissed it. When my mother is out alone, I keep on thinking what if something happens to her while she is on the road. I imagine all possible situations and I end up having crying spells. All throughout those hours I fail to concentrate on anything productive. I even discarded the idea of studying outside my State. I’m sure my dad won’t be able to take good care of her. And without mum I don’t even know how I’ll go on. I can’t even imagine a second not knowing if she’s OK. I don’t know if this over-protectiveness is good or bad. But I get the feeling that I keep losing everyone I love. (From India)

Since then, whenever my mother is out alone, I become hysterical. I constantly ask her not to go out alone, in the fear of losing her. I get so worried whenever she is sick or just catches a minor cold. All throughout those hours I fail to concentrate on anything productive. I even discarded the idea of studying outside my State. I’m sure my dad won’t be able to take good care of her. And without mum I don’t even know how I’ll go on. I can’t even imagine a second not knowing if she’s OK. I don’t know if this over-protectiveness is good or bad. But I get the feeling that I keep losing everyone I love.

0All-or-nothing thinking

My father has been diagnosed with OCD Disorder, but I feel like there is more to his disorder than just obsessions and compulsions. His behavior include emotional manipulation, intense reactions, exaggerations, and he has paranoia to a certain extent.He keeps calling my mother daily to see where she is, and secretly follows her to work most mornings. He demanded for all her passwords for social media, as well as her phone.When she comes home late from work, even for 5 minutes, he creates a scene and argues with her. He threatens that he will kill himself. When they argue, if to him it feels like the problem wont be resolved, to make amends, he threatens her. He threatens her with not drinking or eating, constantly drinks alcohol with his medication. He is also delusional in the fact that my mother is cheating on him, when this is not the case. He took extreme measures to grab her cell phone, download apps that can see all the text messages sent and received, and he also has a GPS on her constantly tracking her. At the same time, he sits in his office after work most of the day and listens to 5 hour voice recordings of some type of listening device he has in her work office, or here at home. It might even be somehow installed on her phone, he is constantly trying to find out a possible cheating going on, or even trying to look for lies in the voice recordings. In an altercation, he slept in the car for many days, tried to drive while he was drunk at the same time telling me that the medication he is taking has severe interactions with alcohol, and that he can die any second, even wrote a will.The next mornings he wakes up like nothing happened, acts like nothing happened, and continues to repeat the same things over and over. His facial expression looks extremely different, as if he is psychologically disturbed. He refuses to see a psychologist because he sees it as a way to throw money in the trash.He says things like, You are a ll smart, but Im the only one crazy. How can I help him?

2No Distortion

Before I got married I use to wear men’s bikini underwear (regular and string). For almost two years I have been secretly putting on and wearing woman’s panties. At first I was trying on and wearing my 18 year old step daughters panties in which she was ok with and than I decided to go out and buy some types of them for myself. eventually I was told to stop or a divorce was coming. I constantly thought about wearing them again to include men’s underwear i use to wear. I now continue to secretly wear my step daughter’s panties and buy some for myself. Is it wrong for me to wear/do and is there somewhere to go for help? I dont want my wife to know.

2No Distortion

Hello. I developed a crush on a celebrity when I was 10 and it has grown into an obsession that I can’t stop (I’m 23 now). I’ve been diagnosed with generalised anxiety and have had depression in the past linked to poor self-image/esteem. My family relationships are good. I’ve had two relationships, one when 13 and the second when 15. The first time I was used by him and for 3 years until I got over him, whenever he was dating someone I would try hard to look like them (hair/makeup/clothes etc.). The second was emotionally abusive but I broke-up after a month and never wanted to reconcile. I thought about this celebrity less while in relationships but never fully stopped. Since my teen years I’ve fantasised about them: being in a relationship, conversing with them, being intimate (sexually) etc. When in a relationship with another female celebrity I became obsessed with her and still am, saving hundreds of pictures of her, watching all the interviews I could because I wanted to act, sound and look like her, eat, exercise and use the same beauty products as her if I could find that information. Whenever seeing pictures of them I feel a painful pit in my stomach. I would follow pages on instagram that followed them. After they broke up I stayed obsessed, less than initially but still, focusing more on whoever he’s currently with/dating (he’s with a regular girl now). I’ve tried to pursue his interests (e.g. art and watch the same TV shows) and also more recently tried to even use the same products and dress the same way he does if I can find that info (But I don’t want to be a man). I’m seeing a clinical psych and she said she’s unsure and to just avoid checking their social media (tried many times and even after over a month of abstaining from all social media it never worked). I’ve tried journaling, meditating, talking to friends and some things help a little but not much. I can barely differentiate what I like and what him/his girlfriends like. I can’t concentrate for a few minutes without them popping in my head even when I don’t want them to. Avoiding doesn’t help and I don’t want to, nor replace it by forcing myself in a relationship. I want to confront it so I never have the issue again.

Avoiding doesn’t help and I don’t want to, nor replace it by forcing myself in a relationship. I want to confront it so I never have the issue again.

0All-or-nothing thinking

I believe I may have dissociative identity disorder. I lose time, I have alters, I lose time. I went through 17 years of abuse. My psychiatrist won’t diagnose me because he’s never seen me switch. I’m currently not in therapy because my last therapist told me I was too much for her to handle. I’m also totally blind. I don’t know what to do. I live in a mental health care facility, and only like two of the staff here believe me. I just feel all alone with all this.

2No Distortion

I’ve had social anxiety as long as I can remember, and I can remember back to pre-school. I did not get diagnosed until I was 17. A couple years before, I started experiencing moments in time where I felt like I wasn’t in reality. I felt as if my arms did not belong to me and that I was looking through someone else’s eyes. My surroundings would seem non-existent. I never told my therapist of these incidents.

2No Distortion

I’m not diagnosed with anything, my mom says depression is a phase every teenage girl goes through and that it will just past me.I have a history of an abusive relationship with my best friend I knew for half of my life, mentally and physically.I became depressed, I wouldn’t have an appetite, I would get bad grades, and I would sleep all the time. I’m better now, but I have a difficulty trusting others who aren’t my family. That just my background, now this is the real issue. You had a similar question I saw, but you didn’t give advice. Instead, you said you needed more information, so this will be long and detailed.

2No Distortion