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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I don't know if this is even a valid complaint..
POST: So I (21 F)started playing League of Legends recently, a game my boyfriend (21 M) has played for a long time and has always wanted me to get into. We've been together for two years and its almost always been an issue with how obsessed he gets about it, and so as they say, if you can't beat them, join them. Well I have been slowly leveling and learning the game, usually while he's at work since we have opposing scheduals, and I have been wanting to play with him. We played a few AI games a few times, and now whenever I ask to play with him he says he plays too much during the day and doesn't want to play, not to mention its not fun to play against AI.
My question is, is it unfair for me to be upset about this?
TL;DR: | Started playing boyfriends fave game, now he doesn't want to play with me because I can't play his difficulty. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Weird state of consciousness while asleep(?), what's going on?
POST: Hi guys. So I don't think that this is medical advise (nothing appears to be wrong with me), I'm just curious what just happened. I was lying in bed and I believe that I drifted off. I dreamt (for lack of a better word) that I was in the exact same position but on my laptop browsing Reddit. In this state I felt fully conscious and aware, and could control all of my actions. I also realized that this was not real. Everything was pretty realistic except that words and pictures on the screen kept changing. Sorry if this is a ridiculously stupid question, but does anyone know what happened? I am not under the influence of any drugs or alcohol.
TL;DR: | I had a weird dream where I was fully in control of my actions and knew it was a dream. What's going on? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: My monthly stats showed me my weight loss is 80% diet, 20% exercise and it makes me really happy!
POST: I went from 144 lbs on Nov 1 to 136lbs on Dec 1. I'm super happy with my weight loss and thought it was probably 50% due to my healthier eating and calorie counting with MFP and 50% due to my 3 to 4 runs per week.
Well, today I discovered some statistics in my running app, which showed me that I did 20 runs in November and burnt about 6.500kcal altogether. That's not even 2lbs and I lost 8! So my success is probably more like 80% due to diet and 20% due to exercise! Although this might be obvious to most people, it was such an eye opener for me.
Why am I happy about this? I've been fighting off a cold for the past two weeks and also have a strained muscle. I thought this would make weight loss impossible and I would have to settle for maintaining for a while. Obviously not! I just had to share my excitement :)
TL;DR: | Running app showed me even though I ran a lot in November, I 'only' burned 6.500 kcal which accounts for about 20% of my weight loss. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Housemate is losing it, any advice?
POST: I'm in my second year in college, living off-campus in an apartment. One of my housemates is usually pretty pessimistic, but it seems that he's reached a new level today. He apparently went to the ER because his tonsils are fucked, due the massive amount of blazing he does (tobacco is involved). He's also got some girl troubles and tough family business that he's having to deal with.
Anyways, he's been extremely depressed, and about everything that he says nowadays has a "fuck everything" connotation to it. I've let him talk to me about it, and tried to cheer him up with offerings of fast food, but to no avail. He's starting to become difficult to live around. Anyone have any ideas to improve the situation? I'd feel bad just cutting off all contact.
TL;DR: | Roommate is depressed and smokes EXTREME amounts of weed, and hates everything. Any ideas to cheer him up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: I want to surprise my girlfriend for Valentines Day. Reddit, will you help me?
POST: I'll try and keep this brief. For valentines day I am hiding a series of clues around my girlfriends town / in local shops / with friends etc...
I know this is a long shot, but would reddit help me upvote a post so that it appears on the front page even if for a few hours so that I may use reddit.com as one of the puzzle pieces to this romantic adventure of moderately sized proportions?
I registered this new account because
1. She visits reddit occasionally.
2. So nobody thinks I'm pulling some karma-hoarding stunt.
The plan would go like this if anyone is on board to help me. This post would get up-voted to gain attention, and on the night of the 13th, I would edit this post and post a link to the post that I would want my girlfriend to see (using a title that she would instantly recognize as being for her / tie into a previous clue). Then, assuming this post has reached the top or upcoming section of reddit, she will be lead to reddit where she will see the post, which will lead her to another clue.
I realize that a valentine's scavenger hunt is trite, so I'm trying to spice it up a bit by throwing fun things such as the internet / at one point giving her a key to my car which is hidden at a location which she must get to...which will have coordinates in it which will lead to SOMETHING ROMANTIC N' SHIT. (I'm still working out the finer details)
Help me Reddit, you're my only hope...and I love you...maybe even more than I love my girlfriend...just kidding...unless it gets the up votes, in which case, I'll dump her right now to prove it. No I won't....but seriously. Okay, I'm done.
Please?
TL;DR: | I'm planning a V-Day scavenger hunt for my girlfriend. I'd like one of the clues to be on reddit's front page. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: It's been a while, and maybe someone else can offer some insight to me.
POST: So, I'm having an issue and I figured I'd see about getting some opinions on what's going on.
Back story is, I met a girl who lives in the same building as I do. She and I have talked on and off for a while, but I was dating another girl at the time. Well, she and I broke up a couple months ago, and the girl from my building and I had a mutual friend who started inviting her to hang out with us. Since then we've been talking quite a bit, and we've started hanging out more, including by ourselves.
So, this is where it gets complicated. She's never really made it public or definitive that she was dating another guy from our building, but I knew they had hooked up a few times. However they had a falling out a while ago and no longer talk. But she was hanging out with me and talking to me more before they did. Now, while she doesn't see him any more, she has more guy friends in our building than I do in our whole area it seems, and while we do spend time together, she spends a lot of time with them as well.
So, the here and now is, we do flirt a little bit here and there. As the title says, it's been a long time since I played the early stages of the dating game, and I'm not sure where it's going, or what moves to make. We're both smokers and she invites me out for smokes with her here and there, and it's usually just us and we talk and laugh. But I'm not sure if it's just being friendly or if I could take this somewhere.
TL;DR: | this cute girl in my building is lightly flirting with me but has a million guy friends who I don't know what she's like around, so I don't know if it's being nice or going somewhere. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20/f] asked him [22/m] to hang out tonight and I think I'm getting blown off, do I follow up or just let it go?
POST: I've known this guy for a while, always had a bit of a crush on him. He's asked me out a few times before, but the timing of our other relationships was never quite right.
TL;DR: | I asked a guy out, he said he wanted to go and he would get back to me tomorrow, he never did. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [26F] I finally did it, yesterday, and after 2 months of hell called it quits with my [31M] bf of 3.5 years.
POST: My account history has a couple posts with the whole story, if you're curious.
Two months ago my boyfriend hit me for the first and last time. It had been a textbook classic scenario of his control and anger issues escalating to that, over a period of two years. We separated then but still wanted to work things out, however he continued to pressure me to reconcile as well as downplay and negate my feelings about what happened.
So, yesterday, I did it. We had decided to, once again, try a 'date' and just enjoy each other's company and rebuild some trust and remind ourselves why we kept fighting for this. I decided beforehand if it went well, I would push myself to show him I love him, and if it didn't, I would break up with him. Sure enough, almost predictably, he again starting pressuring me to reconcile.
He practically gave me an ultimatum - so I chose to break-up. I think it surprised him, but, he was kind and civil and I think relieved (like me) to finally go one way or the other rather than continue this middle ground nonsense. There were some signs of him trying to talk me out of it, or make me feel guilty or stupid for wanting to, but at that point I was so clear-headed and calm and certain I didn't care about anything he had to say.
We have a lot to untangle about our lives but it sounds like it's going to be manageable, and civil, thankfully. I just have to keep telling myself it beats continuing to live in fear, and there is a man out there that would never do that to me. I know I did the right thing, and now I get to deal with classic break-up feelings - pangs and tears at the reminders of him around my home, grieving the loss of the life I had planned and the home we were building, etc.
Anyway... kind words from strangers assuring me I did the right thing, and it will get better, are of course appreciatd. It's the hardest damn thing I've ever been through.
TL;DR: | Broke up with my bf after 3.5 years. Had been separated for 2 months since he hit me. Need to know I did the right thing and to stay strong. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [16F] having a hard time knowing how a shy [17M] feels
POST: At my school we have a friend circle of 4 boys and 3 girls. One of the boys, Alex, is very shy and doesn't really seem to talk much. In middle school, 2 of the other boys told me that he seemed to have a crush on me but I shrugged it off because I didn't really believe it. For eighth grade, he moved away (but came back to the school in ninth grade.) I made it a point to talk to him, and we would always sit by each other anyways (lunch, science class.) When I was in tenth grade, I decided I wanted to pursue online classes because my older brother was excelling in it, and I am finally coming back in senior year to my public school where he will be there. I always do FB posts every few weeks; lately I've been posting things like "I'm sorry I haven't talked to you guys but I still love you." Well 4 days ago I posted a status just like that and he liked it. The thing is... Alex rarely uses Facebook. Like, he never does. And he liked it a few hours ago. So like, is that a sign? Should it mean something? Maybe I'm just overthinking it.
TL;DR: | Shy boy and I rarely have conversations. Haven't talked to him in 2 years, but he likes my "I love you" FB status. We're not close. Is it a sign? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, is it time to remove r/atheism from default?
POST: r/Atheism, as you all know has never been the friendliest place on reddit and will often be attacked for doing so but I feel nothing has ever been done about this consistent mean spirited attitude that is mostly aimed toward Christianity.
While r/Atheism certainly has its own great members the situation has gotten out of hand and has turned into the West Boro Baptist Church of Reddit. Every time I get on before I log in I always manage to skim by at least 1 hateful posts from r/atheism and while that simply does not bother me because of my atheist beliefs I am certain it is hurtful to the Christians who might drop by this website because of a referral from a friend or other posiblities.
This time its gone too far. I believe the feeling of entitlement has lead one of them to recently post about r/Christianity complaining about the often cynical remarks they receive in their corner of Reddit. While of course its a hypocritical post the worst thing I came by was that some people were actually promoting attacking r/Christianity with self serving excuses saying that basically all Christians are assholes and deserve it.
To argue which side is correct is pointless but the fact of the matter remains. r/Atheism is a default Reddit and in a sense is being promoted and what they are doing is often hateful. A belief shouldn't be a default anyway but its seriously a problem when the majority of the top page posts are often something hateful. I know there are people who would certainly agree with me when I see how there is an average of ~1.5 million who were auto subscribed yet r/atheism is down to ~600,000 subscribers which means about 900,000 people where annoyed with it enough to unsubscribe. Reddit should remove them from default and let them do what ever they want then but for now they are bad for the community.
TL;DR: | Atheism itself isn't bad but r/Atheism is causing problems for the community at large and should no longer be a default sub Reddit |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 F] with my fiance [27 M] 5 years, should I go on my bachelorette party\trip.
POST: I love my fiance he's my world and I couldn't imagine life without him. We met in college I was his first everything albeit he wasn't mine but we fell in love very fast.
We've had some hiccups in our relationship but have come back stronger. My friend had planned a bachelorette party for me and it's in 3 days it's in vagas and she has everything payed for and planned out.
My fiance doesn't have any friends at all he never socialized much because he's shy. If I go he'll be left by himself in for 4 days and I'm hesitant as to whether I should go or not.
He wants me to go and have fun and not worry about him but I can't help it. I've maybe when I come back I could plan something for him maybe send him to a strip club or something.
I'm not sure what to do what should I do.
TL;DR: | I am going on my bachelorette party\trip and my fiance will be by himself and I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend [M26] hung out with his friends tonight and went hot tubbing with a bunch of girls. I [F24] saw the pics on Twitter and feel disrespected.
POST: Okay, Reddit. Tell me if I'm acting like a crazy girlfriend.
Tonight, my boyfriend was invited by his buddies to hang out at their place and drink. I was totally fine with this because his buddy said it was going to be a "guy's night." Well, it wasn't!
One of the guys invited a bunch of girls over and most of them ended up in the hot tub. One of his buddies uploaded pictures onto Twitter from his phone, so I pretty much saw everything that was going on.
Although my boyfriend wasn't doing anything inappropriate, he seemed a little too close to this brunette in a couple of pictures. They were in the hot tub posing for the camera and she was holding onto him really tight and her boobs were like literally in his face. Then she commented on the picture, "Oh my god, sooo cute! ;)"
I feel disrespected. From what I saw, he didn't touch her inappropriately but he allowed himself to be in a position where boundaries could have easily been crossed. I would never do that with another guy.
We've been together for 18 months and have never had trust issues.
Do you think this is something I should talk to him about when he gets home or do you think this is just a one-off occurrence? Do I set up boundaries/rules for future guy's nights?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend was in the hot tub with a girl that seemed to be getting a little too close to him. This was supposed to be a "guy's night" but it turned out to be the complete opposite. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (19f) ex (18m) booked a trip with our interest club members and excluded me although I already made it clear prior to the breakup I wanted to go
POST: Around Jan 2015, my interest group came up with the idea of holidaying in Japan in December. There however, was not much discussion until now. I've been totally excluded from the prep work.
My ex and I broke up 5 months ago and ended things on a sour note, which could explain why he chose to exclude me. When I went to others in charge of the trip, they eventually kept redirecting me back to my ex, claiming that the accommodation was full and flights were already emailed to the agent to be booked. Hence I have to go through my ex (who is the chief planner) to get through this trip as I'm very eager to get to know others in the group well.
It doesn't feel fair as I've been awaiting news on this trip for months. Reddit, how should I handle this issue?
TL;DR: | ex excluded me from trip that i was already supposed to be in. Really really eager to go but has to go through ex. Not on talking terms hence not sure how to approach ex on this subject. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my friend [20 F] I have no clue how to express how I feel
POST: I've know her for three years. We both play in bands and I met her whole opening for her band one night. I ended up joining her band for while and that only brought us closer as friends. I had a crush on her for a long time and admitted it to her while I started to briefly see someone else(that didn't work out). She seems to have no feelings of that nature and when I did admit that interest I had in her, she was not phased at all and our friendship was totally fine.
Recently, we started working together. Writing songs just with eachother. I had a crush before, but i just felt something way different than I'm used to when we are together. I fucking adore her. Everything about her. And it just hurts when I hear our songs. And I'm fully aware she doesn't feel the same way. I just don't know what to do- because we are gearing to put this band together and start playing more and do all this stuff- but it just fucking hurts. She's my favorite person on the planet and I have no clue what I can do.
TL;DR: | fell in love with my best friend who I write music with and don't know how to express myself without ruining our relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it too early for me [M/23] to propose to my girlfriend [F/24]?
POST: Hey everyone - throwaway account, looking for some advice.
I am 23 and have been dating my girlfriend (24) for nearly 3 years. We met in college, and things have been going great. Since finishing school, our relationship has only improved. We both currently live in the same city and spend a ton of time together - while we live in separate apartments, we probably spend 3-4 nights/week together.
As corny as it sounds to say, I really am happiest when I'm with her. I love spending time with my roommates, but am always thinking about her when I'm not with her. We have talked about the future and both have said that we want to marry each other eventually - but it's always been a conversation set in the future, never necessarily something that is on the near horizon.
Most of the people I work with are older (~35), and always give me a hard time about how they got married too young, how I should hold out as long as I can, etc. It's mostly done in good fun, and I know that, but I really think they partially mean what they're saying. Could that be a result of problems in their own marriage that they're reflecting onto me? I'm really not sure - possibly. I've had friends my age got married, and our peers can't believe someone would ever get married that young. I would not at all consider myself the most mature of my friends or anything like that, but to me it doesn't seem like that ridiculous of a concept to get married at this age if you are confident that you've found the right person.
I guess what it comes down to is this - If I know I want to marry her, and vice versa, what's the benefit of waiting? The common thing I hear from people is that you should wait until you're older, but why just put it off longer if it's what we want and will make us both happy?
---
Not sure if this is worth noting, but we both have very good, stable jobs - so this decision is not being financially motivated at all.
TL;DR: | Everyone I know seems to think 23/24 is way too young to get married, but I feel ready. Is there any reason to put off proposing? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] with boys and dating [20-24Ms]
POST: (Sort of an edited crosspost from TwoX.)
I go to a private university. Dating wasn't my first priority in earlier years, so I just recently started foraying into the world of dating/sex. I have not found many (barely any, none available) romantic prospects from classes, clubs, or parties. I don't party much. Very sparse frat connections and the ones I do get to are really lame. So I've tried online/app dating and had moderate success, but no relationships.
I met with 2 matches who actually attended my school (These are just the two dudes I've met -from my school-. I have gone on more casual dates, some which only lasted one date, maybe about 10 guys total.) Both of them met me, kissed me, and then told me it felt "artificial" to be intimate with someone they met on a dating site because the were used to meeting people in classes, etc. and didn't want to continue with me (not referring to a relationship. Just even continuing the date.) Neither was romantically conservative. The second said he has previously hooked up with cute girls he had classes with, and then not wanted a formal relationship with afterward.
I don't really know how to let this go. I'm really not sure if it was something I did - lack of chemistry, not attractive enough - or if I'm being more self conscious than necessary. I feel angry that guys expect intimacy before, but then not after, and I feel like I'm becoming a man-hater trying to figure it out by myself :(
TL;DR: | I think I'm starting to objectify boys because even the sleazier ones I like won't hook up with me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by ruining my chance of having a good future.
POST: So i go to a great school and am far behind due to a long medical leave of absence. I came back trying to internally transfer to the business school and needed to get a 3.0 GPA in order to do so. I just got my grades back today and found out that I got 3 B's and a B- to give me a 2.97 GPA. I didn't get in and will have to withdraw out of the university because I cannot afford to start fresh in another major. The worst part about it is that in one of my classes I got a 87.25% which is .25 points away from rounding up to an 88% which would give me the 3.0 GPA I need to get in to the Business school. Now I have a shit load of student loan debt with not degree to help me pay it off.
TL;DR: | I am dropping out of college because I am .25 points short in getting into the major that I completely invested myself into. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My bestfriend [20F] kissed me [20M] last night. I want more, she doesn't.
POST: I've been friend with that girl for over a year now. We started talking on Facebook since we have friends in common. We met few weeks/months later but she had a boyfriend at that time and I wasn't really interested in her.
Things have changed now and we've spent a lot of time together this summer. We started hugging and kissing on the cheek and eventually sleeping together. 2 days ago from now we texted and she told me that our relationship isn't clear for her and that she wants to kiss me when we are hugging. I told her that I got feelings for her. We saw each others yesterday evening. We both were in her bed and she put my hand on her ass and started to move her ass near my body. We ended up kissing and not saying a word. When we woke up everything was gone : I tried a few times to kiss her but I felt she didn't want it. When I arrived home I sent her a message asking how was our relationship now. She answered me that we can't be together because she is leaving our city for school and won't come back before months, that she doesn't want to make me suffer and she doesn't want to suffer.
I told her that we are going to see each other a lot and that I will text her and call her but she seems to be really sure about it. She wants us to be friends and I don't think I can anymore.
I really appreciate that girl and of course I respect her choice but I feel like I still have my chance. What should I do ?
TL;DR: | My bestfriend told me she wants to kiss me. I told her I got feelings for her. We kissed and now she doesn't want more and want us to be friends. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend[24] lied to me[F25] and I don't know if I can trust him now.
POST: **A little bit of backstory:** My boyfriend was in love with this girl for a good 5 years before we met, but his feelings for her started dwindling soon before we started talking. It was unreciprocated love; she never gave him the time of day romantically. He still sees her on a semi regular basis due to the fact that the have a class together a few days a week (a class that she coincidentally transferred into according to him.) He admits he still has "very slight" feelings for her, despite being in love with me and in an exclusive relationship with me. Every now and then a mutual friend in the class will post pictures and in some of them he's very close to "that girl" physically, which I find unsettling.
**The issue:** Two months ago, a month before we officially started dating, he said he was going out with a group of people to a river for his male friends' birthday party. I found out last night by chance through one of his friends' instagram accounts that it was, in fact, "that girl's" birthday and he lied about it.
Additionally, 2 weeks before we started officially dating, he said he was going school clothes shopping with a male and female friend of his, which was true. What he DIDN'T tell me, was that "that girl" was also there, which I also found out from that same instagram account. Not to mention he totally disappeared for HOURS that day out of nowhere.
Keep in mind that although we weren't dating exclusively at the time, we were already heading there and were totally invested in each other romantically already.
**My problem:** I don't know if I can trust what he says regarding this girl anymore, in regards to the severity of his feelings for her, how often they really see each other, and how close they are anymore. What do I do?
TL;DR: | Soon before dating exclusively, my boyfriend lied about being with a girl that he used to be in love with and still has slight feelings for. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: She blocked me EVERYWHERE?
POST: Hey! So I've been talking with this girl for three weeks now. We met on Tinder and started chatting there. Eventually we moved on to Facebook and Snapchat and we followed each other on Instagram. I also have her phone number.
We've slowly gotten to know each other. We talk about casual and basic things, like what we do for a living, how we spend our free time and all that jazz. We've met and talked in person three times, but I wouldn't consider them "dates", as we're just getting to know each other. Last time we met was Friday, where we went to IKEA. Super casual and relaxed! Later that night she went outside town to help her friend with a gig (she sings). Before we split we discussed doing something more "date"-ish, like seeing a movie. She sounded quite positive about that. I left it at that and let her spend her weekend in peace.
This morning, Sunday, I sent her a Snap, asking her if she wanted to grab a pizza. I had expected her to be back in town and I figured we could do something, as she usually has Sundays off. I got no reply. I didn't really bother and went on with my daily "check social media in the morning" routine. I went on to her profile on Instagram to check if there was something new going on. I accidentally unfollowed her, but quickly followed her back. Her profile is private though, so she has to verify and accept my follow.
I sent her a joking message on Facebook about this. I tried visiting her Facebook profile, but I got the error message "Sorry, this page isn't available". Apparently she had blocked me. I tried sending her a message on Snapchat about the Facebook issue. She saw it, but never replied. Now she has blocked me on Snapchat aswell. I tried calling her, she instantly hung up. Now I see that she has blocked me on Instagram aswell.
WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
TL;DR: | Met girl on Tinder, chatted for 3 weeks straight. Everything was going fine, met 3 times in person. Today (Sunday) she blocks me on ALL social medias. Just like that. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: I have a weird eating disorder, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to break it.
POST: It all started when I was around 3 or 4 years old, I just started being a pickier and pickier eater, until the point where I wouldn't eat the majority of things.
It's now a decade and a half later and I still can't bring myself to eat most foods. I realize it's all psychological, but I simply can't get myself to take a "new" food and actually eat it.
I've been through many different types of therapy for it, but I've not been able to make any sorts of breakthroughs. I really fear that I'll end up going through my whole life only eating a tiny variety of food.
I seriously don't know what to do. I hate the fact that I know what I want, but I'm losing this battle with my own mind.
TL;DR: | I've been living off of potatoes and bread my whole life, don't know why, and can't get myself to change. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21M] with my ex gf turned friend[21F] known for 2 years, still infatuated with her.
POST: I think she does not have the same feelings I do for her and even if she has a relationship between us is out of question due to our incompatibility.
We had a series of drama events until one day we went no contact for four months and then decided to try to be friends.
Right now I still realise I have feelings of infatuation for her (I'm a guy who gets infatuated easily and the infatuation usually stays on for quite a while). So the emotions are strong but i do respect logic and understand that infatuation alone isn't going to get us, or just me anywhere. I do find myself getting jealous when she hangs out with other males at times but I do not try to get back at her or control her for I know it's stupid to do so. I do have desires to escalate physically with her but then again I know these desires have the potential to affect the friendship we share.
I'm quite a sentimental guy and value friendships so I do not wish to cut off ties. I just want to know what are things I can do. How do you manage your feelings of infatuation for a friend when you know its not reciprocated or even if it is it leads to nowhere?
Also, she is quite a touchy person so she'll sit closely to me and lean on my shoulders. She does this to other people too. I can't help but get that feelings of rush when she does that.
Reddit what should I do to best go forward? I really do treasure her as a friend. Haha. She's quite a sweet, refreshing girl.
TL;DR: | still infatuated with an ex gf turned friend. Wish to remain friends but not too sure what's the best way to go forward. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23m] girlfriend [20f] has trouble being happy and confident in herself and won't change.
POST: I've been dating this girl for about 9-10 months now. First long term girlfriend. When she's happy, everything is amazing. She's caring, thoughtful, and loving. Overall she has treated me better than anyone ever has before. **But she has such awful self image issues.**
She's absolutely beautiful but is always complaining about how she's not pretty or wishes she could be like other girls, she worries a little too often about me cheating or talking to females, and after ten months it's getting harder and harder to keep this going. She's very needy and she can get immensely sad and lonely and even if we broke up I'm not sure how I would deal with worrying about her well being and if she's okay and happy as things move forward. I really really love and care about her.
I don't know if this is a condition or her upbringing, and I realize that all of this is "attempting to change her" but I just don't understand why when she's in a good place, she says sorry and then agrees that she will try to be a bit happier, but then the next day she lets any little thing ruin her day or upset her. I feel like every night I am constantly trying to cheer her back up, pick up all the pieces, reset her, and get her back in the good, loving place she needs to be in. And I've become pretty good at it. But the next day it's the same story every time. She has no interest in being happy or loving herself and that's what kills me because she has nothing to be sad about, is beautiful, and is talented. But she refuses to acknowledge it.
**What do I do?** She tries to make physical or surface level changes to improve herself and her beauty but the real happiness comes from inside and she's missing that part. She's told me she doesn't care about being happy and that hurts me because when she complains about how bad her life is sometimes I'm just like HOW? Don't I make it pretty damn good? I know she loves me and appreciates me but apparently being with me doesn't make her feel like she has a good life. Which sucks.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend I love and want to be with has no interest in being happy and just wants to be miserable. Won't help herself so of course I am unable to help her either. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [14M] girlfriend [15F] has been at an away camp for multiple weeks and will be away 1-2 more, and she hasn't contacted me. At all.
POST: Hello Reddit!
(Pre-note: Keep in mind, my SO's parents are very notably restrictive and protective - I don't know why she hasn't contacted me, and it may be due to her parents. If need be, I'll be known as Cole and she'll be Tiffany. This thread is marked as Dating because it's unclear what's happening between us to me as of right now.)
My girlfriend is currently at an away camp type thing - it's an advanced studies program (Duke TIP) and she hasn't contacted me for several weeks. The reasons I can think of why she hasn't contacted me:
-her parents
-she doesn't want to talk to me anymore (worst case)
-she's not allowed to use her phone (program rules)
I'm starting to get really scared that she doesn't want to talk to me, as she assured me she would be able to contact me at least once a week, however it has now been three weeks with no interaction and I'm worried.
Relationships, what do you think the problem may be? What do you think I should do when she gets back? What is life? What would be an easy date (as in, relaxed) that I can take her on a few days after she gets back where we can cuddle? <3
TL;DR: | I haven't talked to my girlfriend in forever because she's at an away camp and I'm scared to holy hell that I'll never see her again. I'm asking you cool guys & gals for advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My (27/m) wife (28/f) is ashamed
POST: I don't know how to explain this without taking forever, but I'll try...
I've recently developed a slight interest in looking at/watching guys touch themselves within my porn regimen. That escalated slightly to finding a guy to chat with anonymously, and send each other a picture or two. This is completely fantasy for me at this point, and fantasy is a strong word. I have zero desire to act upon anything in real life, and view myself as straight. I am not attracted to any guys, and only when looking at porn do I sometimes cross over into the "jo-bud" realm (/r/jobuds here). My "enjoyment", if you will, only goes as far as touching. Anything more than that doesn't interest me, and it is a very clear line. It is also a very clear line of reality and fantasy. I am extremely happy/satisfied with my marriage and wife.
I've always had a relationship with porn, and this is the newest manifestation of that. My wife was a virgin before we got married, and isn't tuned in to any real world of sexuality. We have great sex, and I am very satisfied, as I said. And while I wasn't too experienced before her, I knew of porn and had a more deeply-rooted association with sex.
My wife found one of the pictures I sent a guy today. She is devastated.
Long story short, she doesn't know if our marriage can go on, she feels crushed. She told me she can't think of ever touching me again, sleeping next to me, let alone sleeping *with* me. Through a lengthy, mostly rational discussion, we decided I need to work things out fully (possibly with the help of a therapist, just to get a third non-invested party involved) before we can work on ourselves and move forward.
I am terrified. I never ever wanted to infringe upon our marriage (I realize how I have done that, though), and don't want anything to change with us. I am just hoping there is someone out there who has been through something similar, or can offer some helpful advice.
TL;DR: | Wife found picture I sent guy. I don't associate as gay, or even bi (online "fantasy" only). She is questioning entire marriage. I'm scared. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18F] with my ex [24 M] 4 months, I got way too clingy but now I recognize that and want him back
POST: I started dating him in November and I shortly lost my virginity to him.
I fell hard and fast, which resulted in me getting too intense and super clingy. I could feel him pulling back and instead of giving him space, I freaked out and clung harder. I'm sure my behavior is the main cause for our break up a few weeks ago.
A few days after the break up I broke down and sent him a really pathetic cringy text telling him I still want him and I wasn't going down without a fight.
We still text sometimes but I'm always the one to text first. We snapchat occasionally and he's snapped me first a couple times. This is only really important because the other night he sent me a snap saying "Valentine's day is next week" and I'm not sure why he brought it up.
I really miss him and I'd like to give it another shot. Now that I've stepped back and looked at the relationship from the outside I see what went wrong. How do I talk to him about it without making myself look desperate and needy...again?
TL;DR: | I have a serious problem with being clingy, which ruined my relationship. How do I tell him I want to give it another shot without seeming like I'm still clingy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Finishing up grad school in May. Now WTF do I do with my life?
POST: Today, I feel old. Literally, a week from today I will be turning 28, and I will be done with graduate school in May with an M.S. in Sport Mgmt. from a public university in the midwest. I've applied for jobs around the country and have gotten valuable experience teaching kinesiology classes at the university level.
Because of this convergence of skill sets, I'm fucking confused about what I wanna do. My parents are first-generation Americans who blue-collared their way up the employment ladder, whereas I've stuck to the academic route. They don't understand the demands or any prospective industry that would be worth my time.
Just some more background: I was abused as a child, was bullied like a motherfucker in high school, scored badly on my ACT/SAT, went to community college, worked at UPS to pay for community, transferred to said university, joined a fraternity, got a high enough GPA to get into grad school, etc.
I'm just fucking worried that I won't get anywhere with this fucking degree because my program director hates my guts since I'm a last-minute kinda guy, and looking at my fucking LinkedIn makes me wanna cry.
Prospectively, I'll have to do an internship in the summer. I will be 28. And it makes me depressed. I'll have to make new friends, politically work my way up the professional ladder, find a wife, start a family, the works. This scares the shit out of me. I don't have a dad to talk to or a family member who can console me or give me advice in this situation.
My three-year plan was to move to the Pacific Northwest or Denver, find a management gig, toss that salad for two years, go teach English abroad for a year and apply for the Adidas Management Trainee program. That seems like an eternity away. Also, I'd like to start dating again and find a wife because my biological clock is ticking and I don't want any special children. In other words, my mind is a mess.
This is why winter break sucks. Thinking way too much, perhaps?
TL;DR: | I'm frustrated because I don't know where to go after college, and I need help. Had a rough past, and moved forward, but the road is foggy. I need advice! |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Do I need good credit? Live in a major city, will never be able to afford a car or a home
POST: Hi there - I have a question that kind of flies in the face that everything this subreddit stands for, so I am prepared for down votes.
It's been hammered into me my entire life that I need a good credit score. I just can't see why I would need one - I know most men on Reddit are pretty sure they'll be rich, somehow, but I know I'll never be able to afford a car or a home. That's fine with me. I don't need them, living here. I don't see needing a huge loan in the future. Right now, I have two credit cards - $10k limit on both, and they currently have a $0 balance (I don't use them a lot).
I did the math: if I save 100% of my income for the next 10 years... I'll still not be able to afford a 20% down payment here. I'm an assistant professor in a major city and I love my job. I tutor on the side.
One of my colleagues/friends said recently at a party that he trashed his credit score on purpose, to pay down his student loans aggressively over 3 years. This sounds pretty appealing to me - it's 5 years later for him, and it's almost fallen off his credit report. I feel like so much of my life is controlled by my student loans that this is appealing.
TL;DR: | Why does a young, working class person need a good credit score? Most of my friends and I will be renters forever. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Best friend (F26) insists I travel to visit her for her birthday even though I (F27) am financially unable.
POST: My best friend has been having a rough time since college. She's been pretty down because of lack of work in her field and loan payments. I am in the same boat, but I've handled it a lot better. She desperately wants me to make a four hour trip to visit her for a birthday gathering with some other friends. There will be dining out and lots of drinking in a city where drinks are rather expensive.
I can't afford it. My mother just lost her job. In order to help my parents keep their home, I'm paying her half of the bills until unemployment comes along. She made more than me, so every last penny I can give still doesn't cut it. My shoes have holes in them, I only own factory work clothes at this point, and I have needed to visit a doctor for some time now.
Here's the problem, she will not take no for an answer. It breaks my heart every time I have to tell her I can't visit for her birthday, and she's making me say it over and over again. She has even started offering to pay for things. If I went and had her pay for everything on her birthday, it would make me feel like shit.
I have explained my situation to her over and over and she won't give up. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but what more can I say to make her understand?
TL;DR: | Friend insists I came party for her birthday with money I completely don't have, and she won't take no for an answer. How can I make her understand without sounding like a total asshole? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [15 F] have feelings my brother(if i can even call him that) [16 M]
POST: ok i wanna preface this by saying that my dad wasn't really there for me and my mom. cuz of this she really didn't have the easiest time raising me and i really love her and appreciate her so much. anyway she started dating a few months ago and met this guy who had a son around my age. they're currently in a relationship right now. he's not that bad of a guy and I'm happy for her.
anyway, I've talked to my moms bfs son (ethan) frequently and yesterday we talked about really deep shit, like how his mom wasn't really for him either and how its hard to deal with your own parent not really caring that much for you. i feel like he really understands me and honestly after that conversation i think that i legitimately like him. this is really really weird and confusing for me right now cuz he's the son OF MY MOMS BF like i just don't know what to do right now or what. i really don't know I'm just infatuated or something but we were friends before yesterday and he went through similar shit. i really don't know what to do and i need advice on how to approach this
TL;DR: | had a heart to heart moment with mom's bf's son and i think i like him and i don't know what to do |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: The plot thickens...
POST: So new years I had gotten more drunk than I had in a very VERY long time...i hooked up with my ex's best friend and told her that I was really into her...to be honest, I'm not. I just say things when I'm drunk. Well, later that night she asked what we would do an I told her I didn't want a relationship because of school coming back and not wanting to leave anything at home. Then, one of my close friends texted me and told me he arranged a double date, matching me up with a girl I've gawked over for quite a while...i wanna do that, but I don't wanna seem like a liar to the girl from new years eve.
TL;DR: | how do I go out with one girl without hurting the feelings of the girl I hooked up with and told I didn't want anything? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21/F] with my ex [21 M] talk everyday but on opposite sides of the world
POST: I dated my ex for a few months during our freshman year of college. After freshman year, I transferred half way across the world, but we still used to talk every day. I went back to visit and we spent so much time together.
Then he started dating a girl for about a year and a half and we talked less, which I completely understood. We weren't hung up on each other, we both lived our lives. Nothing was expected of the other. Even when we broke up our freshman year and we lived in the same country, we were still really close.
Since the start of our senior year, we have been talking everyday. He had broken up with his girlfriend like 6 months beforehand. I'm just very confused by this relationship that we have. I want him to be with other girls and I want to be with other guys because long distance. We're both young and single and shouldn't be tied to someone half way across the world. He tells me that we should go on vacation together and that I can stay at his parents house when I visit and that he'll visit me. This is all great, but I just don't know what he's thinking on his end. Could anyone give me any insight on what's going on in his head? Should I just go with the flow? Knowing him, he's probably just going with the flow of things.
I know that I should ask, but I thought I might as well see what reddit has to say.
TL;DR: | my ex is half way across the world but we talk everyday. Just wanted to know if anyone could give any insight on what his thought process could be. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Are there penalties if an employer does not have your W2 ready by Jan 31st?
POST: A former employer has yet to send out my W2. I spoke with someone who still works for that employer and they were told the W2s will be sent out on the 15th of Feb. The company that files my taxes told me there isn't much I can do. This doesn't seem right to me. I feel like I should be able to do more and that there should be penalties for not meeting the deadline of the 31st of Jan. or at least something I can do to hurry things up.
I did find [this] stating I can contact the IRS if i don't have my W2 by the 14th and only says the IRS will contact the employer. But, I could do that..
TL;DR: | Former employer won't send W2s out until the 15th of Feb. What are the penalties and what can I do to hurry things up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Commitment Phobe Bf
POST: Help, I've [23F] been seeing a guy [27M] for a year in June and haven't met his parents, or some close friends he tells me he goes out with. It's been a rocky relationship and he has asked me to come Christmas and Easter but I didn't go and think he only asked because he wanted to be able to say he asked me, which he does say all the time.
He asked me to meet his family and friends tomorrow but it's been a year and it really has hurt my self esteem and made me think I wasn't good enough to meet people important to him and I don't know if I can move past it. I talked to him in October about it and he said it would change but it hasn't. Should I move on and realize what is important to me he doesn't care about or try to fix?
TL;DR: | I've been dating my bf almost a year and never met his parents and some close friends, it's taking a toll on my self esteem and makes me feel like it's bc he thinks I'm not good enough. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21F] said I loved my EX in my sleep and BF [21M] is upset.
POST: Background: Been together for about 9 months and very in love. We are talking about moving in together within the year and have talked about marriage when we finish school. We have a great relationship with good communication, few fights, and lots of fun.
---
The problem: While sleeping at his place a few nights ago I had a bad dream and he held me until I fell asleep. Some time later in the night I woke up for no apparent reason and turned to him and he asked me if I remember what I said in my sleep. I said no and asked what I said. He was reluctant to tell me but finally did. I had apparently said that I missed my EX and that I still love him while my current BF was holding me. My BF was really sad and has been a little sad about it since. I have reassured him that this is not true and I have zero feelings for my EX. My EX and I have been broken up for almost 3 years now and have only talked to each other a handful of times through texting in the past year. We also attempted to date/see how we were about 3 months before I met my BF. One of those times we texted for a brief period was the day I spoke in my sleep. He contacted me to see how I was because last time we spoke he got mad I had a BF so shortly after trying to get back together with me and we hadn't talked to each other for 6 months.
---
I immediately decided to cut off all contact with my EX. Which was basically block his number since we are not friends on Facebook or anything. I have been extra loving towards my BF and trying to make him feel better about it. I'm not sure what else I can do. He feels inadequate and sad and like I might leave him for my EX.
TL;DR: | Said I missed and loved my EX while cuddle-sleeping with the man I actually love. He is sad and doesn't seem to believe my reassurances. What can I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21F] feel jealous because my boyfriend [21M] tells his friends that he thinks his coworker is hot.
POST: My boyfriend is at a house LAN with his friends, playing video games. I'm not there, but on voice communication with him. During one of the breaks between games, he and his friends are talking about a girl from work - about how hot she is. Although he's not talking to me, I can hear him voice his opinions through voice comms. He thinks she's REALLY hot. He has his headset on while he and his friends are talking about her - so he's speaking directly into the microphone to me the whole time. I can hear his every word, and I can't help but feel jealous.
I don't want to be the ''crazy'' girlfriend so I haven't mentioned how I feel to him. Is it ridiculous that I feel jealousy? What do mature, non-overemotional girlfriends do or feel? How *should* I feel?
TL;DR: | I feel jealous because my boyfriend says to his friends that his coworker is hot, while letting me hear his words. What do I do to overcome this jealousy? How should I feel? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do you break up with someone you still love?
POST: I'm 25 years old and I love my 23 year old boyfriend of 6 years but I think I've got to break up with him. We still get along great for the most part but I wanted to get engaged and he wants nothing to do with anything hinting of marriage because he thinks he's too young for that. He has a lot of difficulty thinking into the future so I keep asking if he sees us going anywhere and he just sort of shrugs.
I'm starting see his point since I think I may want kids and he's adamantly against right now with no hint of change on the horizon. He also makes a lot more than me but saves a lot less (read doesn't save money at all) which I find problematic. I also pretty constantly bother him for sex even though we have sex more than twice a week usually.
We halfway moved in together a month ago so I could be closer to school and we've been kind of awkward about the entire thing. I think he may be stressed because we're not splitting the rent 50/50 (I'm basically living on my savings since my hours were cut and I also have basically none of my belongings in the room we share and spend only about half the week up.) I'm also starting to feel like his mother because he's a bit of a hoarder with tech gear and it's starting to pile up in heaps and I keep having to nag to get him to clean it up a bit.
Basically nothing about what made me fall in love with him has changed at all and I'm still really attracted to him and I'd take almost any excuse to be able to stay with my best friend but I don't want to pressure him into stuff just to make me happy. I mean right now we could rub along tolerably enough and he's fine but I think I want more than he's willing to give.
TL;DR: | still madly in love with my my best friend who I've been dating forever but think we may have incompatible goals. I have no idea how to break up and don't want to lose him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Am I [24m] being unreasonable with my GF[22f]
POST: Background : I love my girl friend. We have been friends for 2 years and started dating 3 months ago. We get along great when we see each other. The problem is that we live pretty far apart and we're both busy during the week as we work at different jobs. We only get to see each other 1 or 2 times a week. She is the one who always comes over to see me, since she has a car and I don't. I'm very grateful for it and I trust her 100%.
The issue: since we don't see each other often enough, we rely on texts and phone calls to keep in touch through out the week. I always tell her where I am and where I'm going ( e.g. I'm heading out to work, I'm gonna play soccer with my buddies). But she doesn't really do the same. For example, she calls me today, and told me she met up with a friend after work and had a couple drinks. I've absolutely no problem with her hanging out with friends, be it guy or girl, I just wish she had informed me her plan before she head out. Maybe I'm paranoid, but I worry about her whenever she uses the car. and I really just want to know that she is safe. I think that's the reason I want her to text me of her plans before she goes out.
Now, the fact she didn't really bothers me. but I feel like it's such a trivial thing to be upset about. I'm starting to doubt myself, maybe I'm being unreasonable here? I don't want to be the one that NEEDS to know where my SO is 24/7. I want a third party opinion on it.
TL;DR: | I worry about my GF whenever she drives, she doens't inform me of her plans of going out ( using the car) beforehand, this bothers me. Am I being unreasonable to feel this way? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [28 M] just found out that my romantic interest [27 F] is living with her BF of 3 yrs...
POST: Using a throwaway as I know this girl sometimes visits Reddit. Anyway, here goes.
Met this girl 7 months ago or so at the company we both work at. Immediately hit it off, we seemed to get along quite naturally from the start. We started to see each other outside of work and spent a lot of time together the past 6 months. I had suspicions that she was possibly involved with someone as she frequently tip-toed around that subject.
Bring it forward to about 2 weeks ago. Ended up going out to a party, made out, etc. She tells me that she is in love with me and so on, which I reciprocated. Quite quickly after that, she told me that she had been lying, and that she is currently living with her BF of 3 years, but it is a relationship that she is unhappy with, got caught in a comfortable situation, etc. They had moved in together about 4 months ago.
This comes as a shock to me; I've never been "the other person" or anything of the sort. She is an amazing person, someone I would absolutely love to be with, and she says the same for me. What do I do at this point? Should I press on with her, and wait for her to leave her current relationship? Should I let it rest and move on?
I have very mixed emotions at this point because this person truly is someone I absolutely adore and would love to be with. Any guidance/thoughts/suggestions would be very much appreciated. Thanks in advance all.
TL;DR: | Friend turned romantic interest of 6 months just revealed she is in a long term relationship of 3 years; don't know how to proceed at this point. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I am[28 M] married for 9 months with [28/F]. Did your life and sex life went downhill after marriage?
POST: I'll try to be short and won't go in too much detail. I married this woman because she seemed the one and only. Beautiful, sexy, smart and caring. After almost two years together with her I still find her beautiful. Sex is mundane and boring. Only missionary, only under blanket , only in weekends and only around midday. There are rare times when we have sex some time in between. A blowjob now happens as often as seasons change. And I'm demanded to get instant erection just by laying beside her. To say the least I'm losing interest and any lust. Since we married and got to know each other she had a normal work and income for 2 months. After that more or less I have financed almost everything. I don't live in a country and not in the status where that is an easy task at the moment. For these reasons I have accumulated some debt. She cooks rarely and mostly girly things. Usually I'm in kitchen for 5-7 days a week. She can lay in bed for hours watching TV and browsing something on fucking social media. We had a bad fight recently. She was out with her girlfriends and did drink a bit too much. She started to complain how I have dragged her down and here life is worse now. That she had everything before and was well sustained(she had one stable work in her life which she left because mental breakdown it caused). That she can't press a like on some girls wedding album on facebook because hers wedding was so much better than ours(surely, i can't mach a 50 years old millionaire). Seems we are in downward spiral of failure. I feel I have been light to and this person is different in reality. She has some serious mental problems. I just don't know if I'll be able to handle all of this and will things work out in the long run.
TL;DR: | Thinking that married the wrong woman! To many issues arising. How long does it take to work out problems in young marriage? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19F] tried to help my close friend [18F] out with her crush [18M] and it totally backfired. Where do I go from here?
POST: One of my closest friends in college has been really into this guy from the first week of school. They've been super close friends and it's always bordered on romantic. I kept telling her to make a move but she was so timid, she was afraid he'd reject her. She actually decided to end their friendship last week because it was too weird.
Today, I asked her to dinner and he ended up tagging along with her, which surprised both of us. I hadn't spoken much to him before but he's actually super cool, and we all really hit it off as a group. We stayed at dinner for almost 3 hours.
After we left, she told me she had to figure out what was going on and stop clinging to false hope. So I kept telling her to just ask him what their relationship was heading towards but she wouldn't do it. Then she devised this plan where I would ask him out and say "I don't want to intrude on whatever you guys have," which would get him to elaborate.
I know, this is a really immature idea but I'm pretty shameless and I was willing to sacrifice my pride to help her out. So I friended him on Facebook and asked him out...you know where this is going.
Of course, he responded saying he'd love to and he's super glad I said something because he's really bad at putting himself out there. He also said that there's "nothing to intrude on."
Now I'm in this position where I can't just tell him it was a joke. That's mean and deceitful. There's also a part of me that does really like him and feels like I deserve that for going for it. And of course I feel awful for my friend and don't want to jeopardize our friendship. What should I do?
TL;DR: | My close friend suggested I ask out her other friend to assess their relationship. It backfired because he said yes. Can I go out with him or is that really insensitive? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Expunged & Nol Prossed: Can case be opened again?
POST: It sounds like a dumb question because obviously an expunged case cannot be reopened, a better way to ask the question would be... can it be file again if, for example, more evidence were found or is this case completely done and I shouldn't ever worry about it again? I was under the impression it would be dismissed and to my knowledge dismissed and "nol prossed" are not synonymous because a dismissed case cannot be reinstated.
My general sessions charge in the state of South Carolina has been "nol prossed by the Solicitor because the defendant successfully competed the pre-trial intervention program" and I have sent the paperwork to get my record expunged. Let's think positively and everything goes through and my record is expunged. Could this case ever be re-opened?
The research I have completed on "nol prossed" charges indicates that the case can be re-opened if further sufficient evidence is found. That is typically a case where the charge was conditioned "nol prossed" by lack of evidence or a technical error. However, none of the examples I have found include nol prossed due to successful completion of PTI or similar program that are eligible to be re-opened.
Thank you!
TL;DR: | Case "nol prossed" and expunged. Any chance of potential further evidence having the victim open another case in the future? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm a 16 year old guy and have a huge crush on a girl in my class, but she has a boyfriend...
POST: I am sorry for my bad english, but english sadly isn't my motherlanguage
So in my new class is a girl, not simply a girl, she is gorgeous and thats not the end, she is interessted in quiet similar things like me, she is smart polite she is everything I ever dreamt for. For me she is like the woman of my dreams, but there is one bloody little problem...
she is since over 1 year in a relationship with a guy who is 20 and she is only sixteen.
She has been special since the moment I met her and now I can't get her out of my head, and almost stalked her on the Internet.
I already talked to my best friends [16/f and 17/m] wich are in a relationship about it, but they had no real advice for me :/
I already tried to get her out of my head, but it did not work.
hopefully you guys got some good advice for me what to do.
TL;DR: | I have a crush on the girl of my dreams[16/f] that got a boyfriend [20/m] don't know what to do |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23F] has a brother [7m] that gets treated like the black sheep of the family.
POST: I have a 7 year old brother who gets treated like crap by the rest of the family. My mom is a good mom to him, and of course I treat him well, alone with my fiancé who loves him to death. Well my grandmother(which is my mom's mother) my aunt alone with everyone else treats him like pure black sheep. I can think of a lot of examples of how he gets treated like it, but the one that comes to mind, which has been most recent is that him and two of my cousins were at a birthday party of another cousin, my grandmother was also there. She gave my two cousins and hug and says "these are my babies" while my brother is staring around and didn't give a hug at all. She doesn't acknowledge my brother is even her grandson and hasn't since he was born. My Aunt also treats him like crap, I can think of tons of examples of how she treats him like a black sheep as well. Not only do they treat my brother like crap, they treat my mom like crap as well. They lie to her, come to the house starting fights with her, and talk down to her like a dog. Yet, she forgives them and takes my brother to family dinners and I don't go because of the drama. Mainly how they treat my brother. I have an 9 month old little boy who they always want to see and I hardly take him around them. However, My mom always ask if they can see my baby. I don't understand on how it doesn't bother her because of how they are hell bent on seeing my son, and NEVER gave a damn about hers. It gets even worse, He has a dead beat for a dad with no father figure except my fiancé who treats him like a son.
TL;DR: | my brother and my mom gets treated like trash by the family and I'm sick of it. I don't understand why my mom hasn't disowned them. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] with my husband [27 M], together 4 years. His diet makes him stink.
POST: My husband and I have been living together for about two years now, since we got married, but regularly stayed with each other since about a year into our relationship. We've always been very attached to each other.
Initially, when we got together, he was unhealthily overweight. He's been on a diet for a while, and actually loves it. We get to cook all the time, we both feel better eating better foods. One of our favorite things is to try new recipes and restaurants together. We both really love to eat.
He normally eats pretty pungent foods. I know he'll always add extra garlic and weird cheeses. But it's never been a big deal until recently. He's found a food that he LOVES. And fits right into his diet. It's actually very healthy. So he eats it all the time. Every night he's making a new batch, since it doesn't keep long.
He smells awful. He smells like prepackaged meat and garlic, all the time. Even if he brushes his teeth, takes a shower. I even added extra scent boosters to the laundry, doesn't help. He always smells like this. And it's been WEEKS! I've brought it up briefly, but he doesn't smell himself so I don't think he gets it.
It makes me want to be less affectionate. I don't want to kiss him because it's always this heavy, meaty taste. And I looked it up, and it is most likely because he's constantly making and eating this one meal.
TL;DR: | Husband might be morphing into smelly leftovers. How do I convince him to take a break from his favorite food? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20 f] think this guy I work with [21m] is super cute, but he's probably out of my league. What do?
POST: I work with this super cute guy in a campus club. He hasn't really talked to me much yet but 1) I'm pretty shy/quiet and 2) I think he assumes I'm much younger than him because I just joined and am not graduating for a few years, while he graduates this year. I just added him on Facebook though, and turns out, he's only a year older than me (younger than my most recent ex...so I guess I'm not as intimidated?) Anyway, I don't know how to get his attention & still kind of feel like he's "out of my league"... We have a party coming up next weekend, so i feel like that's a good opportunity to talk to him. However, he and I will both know a lot of people there, so i feel like it's really not a situation where it will be easy to stay one-on-one for very long. Any expert advice? :)
TL;DR: | I work with this guy at a campus club, I feel like he's out of my league, don't know how to start talking to him, but I find him super cute/interesting. Party coming up next weekend. Advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my 2yo nephew
POST: This is my first nephew, with at least one more niece/nephew to come in a few months. **What sort of relationship am I supposed to have, especially when they're this young?**
I'm an only child (sort of- I have half-siblings, but I grew up as the only child in my house), so I didn't grow up interacting with young children. I'm not all that close with my half-siblings. I don't really look forward to seeing my nephew. Is this something that's fairly common to people who are first interacting with young children? Do you find that you generally warm up to them?
TL;DR: | Is there an obligation/expectation of how an uncle should behave/interact with their nephew who is a baby? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, Whenever I do something wrong (big or small) I feel terrible and relive the moment in my head over and over. What can I do to man up and move on?
POST: For example, I just moved to a new city which has different traffic lights and a lot more one way streets. I was driving around with my SO to find a specific store, when I turned down a two lane one way going the wrong direction. I only went about 1/2 a block before I realized it because some ass hat gave me the finger. I quickly turned down a proper roadway and made my way home. That was this morning yet I still feel a little down from it.
I'm generally a good driver, I know the only reason it happened was because I just got to the city yesterday and I was a little lost. I know it won't happen again, yet I still feel like crap.
How can I man the fuck up?
TL;DR: | Whenever I make a life based hiccup, I can't get over it and it haunts me for a long time. Help me man up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24M] with my LDR [22F] couple months. Shes being indecisive, best course of action?
POST: My partner and I are in a long distance relationship. Except we aren't partners? She is being indecisive and I wonder if she even appreciates how leniant I'm being. She recently got out of a bad loveless relationship late 2014 and we intially ran into each other for a hook-up but ended up being romantically involved.
Except because of that bad relationship she isn't looking for a proper relationship until her course finishes this year. I believe this is understandable and we have assured exclusivity to each other. We get along great, we enjoy each others company and we are physically attracted. However she had been pulling back lately and upon questioning her she said that I'm perfect however I'm 'not her type'. Self-respect told me to end it but the same day she called me back and agreed we'd still remain exclusive until later in the year to see if she comes around. Her exact words now is that everything is oerfect despite the timing however she isnt attracted to my demeanor?
Look, I'm willing to wait, shes a great girl, but should I? I appreciate her situation and I'm not usually this lenient. And she keeps going back to that demeanor comment. Shes going to visit me on my home turf soon but this demeanor thing is senseless.
I mean, its like she has the perfect type in her mind and just because I'm not 100% that shes not willing to fully commit. I've questioned her whether I'm just some fall-back guy but shes adamant I'm not. Shes being honest about everything and it isnt some ploy to ditch me. Am I wrong in thinking shes being very self-indulgent here? Shes not mentally or physically 100% my type but I made comprimises because I find her amazing, whereas because I dont fulfil one criterea shes on the fence, but not enough to call it off...
Am I missing something here? She isnt willing to let me go completely so is she giving me a chance? Is there something specific I should ask? How do I make her understand that her expectations are unrealistic and that she will lose me because of it?
TL;DR: | Partner likes everything about me except, cryptically, my 'demeanor', and thus won't fully commit. How do I perceive and react to these mixed signals? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my friends, 5 years. How do I stop a relationship without making a scene when all my friends are friends with each other?
POST: The friends that I have now are the only friends that I have had for these past five years, but throughout these years some of them have changed, as well as I, and I don't want to feel obligated to be friends with all of them for the sake of being friends with one of them.
It's not as if there have been arguments recently that have sparked this feeling, just a general drifting apart. In some ways... it feels as though the relationships have became stale, and it is as if the friendship is expected and so no effort is made in it.
I feel as though I am wasting time trying to keep friendships in tact that I don't care about, and I would much rather spend that time developing relationships with new people.
TL;DR: | How do I end a friendship when I will have to see them through my other friends? If anyone has any similar feelings or experiences feel free to share. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by going for a sesh with friends.
POST: Well, as the titls says, we were going to a park second period to smoke up.
Let's call my one friend William, and the other John. There's also this girl I like who was supposed to come with us, but never met us down outside the school. Let's call her Jane.
One the walk there, William was already fucked, we start talking about random shit.
The conversation goes on and on, and we're sounding like we're all high.
We get to the park and decide to cut through the swingset area.
The sand had been freshly placed, so it was soft.
William said it's like we were walking on the moon, and John walked onto the grass because the ground was so soft it was hurting his leg. I followed John, because it was hurting mine, too. ( John was stabbed in the leg a couple years ago, and I was hit by a car back in May.)
When I step off, don't ask why I said it because I have. Absolutly NO IDEA... I made a comment along the lines of "I want to piss in the sand."
I hear a familiar voice say "oh that's disgusting!"
Fuck... Jane is here, and she heard me!
We left in silence and went to the bench on the other side of the park just to find out something horrible.
John left his weed at home.
We wound up going back the next day, except instead of William, a different friend came. And she bought weed for the sesh.
We wound up having our sesh with Jane and her friend, and laughed our asses off about the day before.
I also went to math class higher than. the CN tower.
TL;DR: | went for a sesh, embarrassed myself, forgot weed, and came back the next day to patch things up and get high. Got high and went to class. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I just broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years, I don't know what to do, I'm so sad and torn by my own decision. Any tips to help get through this breakup?
POST: My (ex)girlfriend and I had been together for the last 3 years. For the first 2 years, we were basically one person because we never left each other's side.
After the 2 years, her father was promoted in the military, so she moved to Oregon (we were in California together). We had been doing long distance for the last year together, but figured out it was too difficult, so we made the decision to move in with each other.
BUT, I got cold feet. I'm worried about everything that's going on now, and things that could go wrong in the future (because we have different long term plans). I told her that I didn't feel that moving in together would be the best choice because I'm currently unemployed, 19 years old, and going to the nearby community college. I just can only imagine the worst happening, but I just also lost my first love because of all of this.
So please Reddit, are there any tips to help me get through this breakup?
TL;DR: | My (ex)girlfriend and I were together for 2 years in person, then she moved for a year, and now wants to move in together. I said no, I'm sad, please give me breakup advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by walking down the stairs
POST: So a few days ago I was in my dining room getting ready for dinner when I realized that I wanted something to drink. I went to the fridge and found nothing that I could have with dinner, so I decided to head to my basement fridge where we have the extra milk, lemonade, etc. I head down the stairs and I'm going a bit too fast and start to fall, so I jerk my hand out to try and catch myself on the railing. As I do this, my arm rubs against the railing the entire fall down, and gets sliced open, so I have a big cut along the side of my arm. I don't feel like it's a big deal but it is bleeding kinda bad so I just grab a couple band aids and patch it up myself. The next day, I'm at school and several kids see me with like 4 band aids along my arm and ask what happened and if I'm ok. I tell the story but apparently some people don't believe me and tell a teacher that I may have cut myself. So today I get pulled out of class to go talk to my counselor. I assume it's about college stuff since I'm a senior and its late April, but instead I get asked a bunch of questions about my mental state and if I'm depressed and all that. So I'm forced to explain the situation to the counselor again, and even now the administration is on high alert to make sure I'm not going to do anything I might regret.
TL;DR: | fell down the stairs and cut my arm, people thought I slit my wrist on purpose, school counselor had to have a very uncomfortable conversation about depression. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[28M] wife [28/F] says she's sad after being hit on by good looking guy
POST: Hi, my wife (28/F) recently got hit on by an incredibly good looking guy (I saw him, he looks like Chace Crawford). She said no to him but confided in me that she's been sad for a couple of days because this really good looking guy hit on her. I didn't say much mainly because I don't know what to say. I feel angry and jealous at the same time, but feel that I'm being very irrational. She says she's sad because of the fact that this guy was insanely good looking and she might've had a chance with him.
We've been MARRIED for about 1 year. Together 2 years before that. So 3 years together total. (updated)
I could use some advice. Am I overreacting by feeling this way?
Thank you
TL;DR: | Wife says she's sad after being hit on by a good looking guy. I feel jealous/angry/sad. Am I overreacting? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Down 26 pounds (12kg) but not sure what my new goal should be.
POST: 21/M/170/21% bf (according to scales which I know are not that accurate)
I am really having trouble determining where to go next in my weight loss journey. At one point before officially starting I was pushing 200 pounds (91kg).
I began taking my weight loss serious on the 1st of October 2012 and my starting weigh in was 196 pounds (89kg). Since then I have managed to get my weight down to 170 pounds (77kg). I was around 32% body fat at my heaviest and have worked that down to 21%. Unfortunately I do not have before pictures as I was to embarrassed to take them but I really wish I took them now.
**Anyway, my ultimate goal is to be at around 10-12% body fat and whatever weight that is.** Ideally I would be hoping for a weight of 165 pounds (75kg) but this will take a lot of fine tuning and a long time so this is a very long term goal for me.
So my question is, what do I do next to achieve my LONG LONG term goal? Do I continue to lose weight until I am around 155 pounds (70kg) by watching my diet and doing cardio and lifting on non cardio days or do I try a recomp of some sorts.
I'm really confused as to where I am heading as I want to lose this last 9-10% body fat but am not overly sure on what I should be doing to achieve this. The weight I have lost so far has been from reducing calories and junk food and adding in cardio/sport/walking at least 4 days a week.
Additional notes- I have a really chunky arse, thighs/quads and would also like to somehow lighten these out a little so it is not as large/out of proportion. Also play a 30 minute basketball game on Monday which I use as a workout on top of 1 cardio session for that day.
Advice on what training and nutrition (calories) should look like to achieve bf% loss/weight would be greatly appreciated.
Also, sorry if this post is not specific or seems jumbled but really looking for advice as I feel I have slightly plateaued the last week or so.
TL;DR: | Would like to lose 9-10% more bf and some weight but not exactly sure what would be best to achieve this new goal of mine. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, help me find an amazing vintage tool that I need for my business!
POST: Alright Reddit, I know I haven't been your most active member. I've asked for some help in the past with mild results. But maybe today is the day.
You see, I started a small bakery business a few months ago. I supply my local farmer's market with these: Oh, and these:
So far, it's been going really well, and I've managed to keep up with the work using only one of these: (Well, the one I use isn't from IKEA, but you get the picture.)
But the business is growing. I've begun providing a small amount of pastries wholesale to a local chocolate shop, which is going well. Now, I have a coffee shop interested in a much larger quantity of pastries on a daily basis. I would love to fill their order, but I'm just not sure my rolling pin and my arms can keep up with the demand.
So after a fair amount of research and scouring, I've come across this truly magnificent tool: There are modern ones available, like so: But let me tell you, Reddit: I have fallen madly in love with the vintage version, and I'd give anything to get my hands on one.
From what I can tell, this "laminoir manuel" made by the Caplain company was probably only available in France decades ago. I have found ads for people selling them on what appears to be the French version of Craigslist. Here's an example: Unfortunately, I don't know enough French to contact anyone - though I have tried sending a couple inquiries in English.
Anyway, I've seen Reddit work its magic before. Can anyway help me locate or otherwise secure one of these beauties for my pastry business? It needs to be in working order, and I am willing to pay around $1000 for one. And for whoever finds me The One, if you're in the area, perhaps we can arrange payment in the form of delicious baked goods...
TL;DR: | I want one of these for my bakery business: There may be free croissants available to whoever finds me one. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30 M] fell in love with girl [20 F] I don't want this. What do?
POST: I own my own business and ended up employing this girl for 2-3 years. During that time I fell in love with her. We were both in relationships and she ended up leaving my business to save them.
During the two years we grew so close to each other. We know each other so well, know our darkest secrets and share the same humor etc. We ended up kissing after a few months and from then it became a pattern of fight/grow close/fight/grow close.
After she left, we stayed close and she and I hang out all the time. At xmas, we again kissed and once again, she pulled away emotionally and said she didn't feel like about me.
Whatever, I'm done. I accept it won't happen but how the hell do I get over this? I try to put distance between us but she always finds me, saying I'm the only friend she has etc. I feel bad and try to be what she wants me to be but I know I can't be as I'm so in love with her. Is there anyway I can preserve this as a friendship? Do I just accept I have to bite the bullet and go NC? Or, like I choose to believe, she does feel the same and her fear of having no one to support her is why she doesn't allow us to progress?
She is single now, I am not. Please don't judge me on that - That's a whole different post. I just want advice on how to untangle myself from this lovelorn nonsense.
TL;DR: | Fell in love with girl. She wants me one minute, then not the next. Figure she's using me as her sole emotional rock. How do I get away from this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 F] with my ___ [29 M] 3 weeks, we started w/ sex and I don't know what's our relationship status is
POST: So... I met this guy in March (a friend introduced me to him) and at first I just thought he seemed nice (attractive and a sort of magnetic charm) and very particular.
In the month of April I chatted with him on some friday/saturday nights (like we met three times in April) and one night, the 25th, he took the initiative and kissed me (we made out too) and when everybody was about to leave (my friend and his group of friends) he asked me if I wanted to go to his home. So, normally, I wouldn't have done it 'cause I'm a introvert (not timid, but I don't do the first move), but I had to many beers and wasn't able to think straight. I went with him and I had one of the best sex experiences of my whole life.
The next week he invites me to dinner (obliviously there's the after, yeah, sex). We talk, get to know each other and I discover that he's sincere, doesn't lie, just speaks what's in his mind. We had a nice dinner and then went to his grandma's home (she doesn't live there anymore) and had, as usual, amazing sex.
Every time we met, there was sex.
Even after one date at the cinema, in the car.
So... my question is... does he want to have more than sex or it's just a sex relationship?
I need some advice... because I'm starting to fall hard for this guy.
We do have some things in common that we like to share like movies, music, books and writing... and... beer and smoking weed.
Idk... Should I just live the moment and see afterwards or... ask him what our relationship is?
TL;DR: | met a guy in april, got to know him when going out at night, one night we went straight to sex, afterwards there were some dates and some moments of just sex. Idk what he wants from me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I told my friend about goings on between his ex and 2 of his good friends. Did I do the right thing?
POST: So one of best friends (let's call him Dave for this story) went out with a girl in our group (let's call her Felicity) for around 6 months. They broke up on holiday in July and Dave didn't take it fantastically well. Lot's of text exchanges which have been described as 'harassment' by several people as well as Felicity.
Anywho, ~2 weeks after their split Felicity sleeps with Mike and again a month later. Most of our group knew about it but didn't want to tell Dave in case his response wasn't great. Come December Felicity sleeps with Gary twice who is also a good friend of Dave. Again, most people knew but we didn't tell him what was going on, especially with exams coming up.
Yesterday without intention I just asked him to call me and told him what had happened. I couldn't stand Mike and Gary licking his rim out in the gym with Dave being blind as a bat. As far as I know he has been texting Felicity with some stuff.
Basically was it right to tell him despite knowing there might of been restart of the 'harassment' texts? Mike, Gary and Felicity would not have told him and no one else was really going to do it. I felt I owed it to him as a friend.
TL;DR: | I told my best friend that 2 of his good friends slept with his ex and proceeded with life like it didn't happen. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 F] with my bf [28 M] of 4 months, taking a 2 week break...what to do?
POST: My bf told me he wanted me to leave him alone for 2 weeks. It felt a little weird to me because last weekend we spent time together and it was really good. We live 2 hours away because I go to college away and after I spent the weekend at his place, I left on Monday.
When I went back on campus we couldn't talk much because he was busy and I was busy with finals. I came back this weekend after a week of finals, and he told me he needed me to give him a 2 week break and begged me for it. He asked if I knew any good psychiatrists, and this week he met up with his friends to see if that would help, but it didn't.
From what he said, I think he is extremely stressed from work and very unstable in general. I'm hoping this 2 week break will help him sort out his anxiety and stress. Everytime I ask him about it, he says I already know why he's like that, which is partially true. He has been telling me how stressful work has been over the past few months while we were dating. But he also told me he doesn't really know where his anxiety is coming from.
I'm just scared this relationship will turn sour afterwards...I asked him if this 2 week break will separate us even more, but he assured me that he will still love me after the 2 weeks. I expressed the concern there may be other women while I am gone, he said there's no need to worry about that. I also asked him if he was stressed because of this relationship or me, and he said it has nothing to do with us or me.
What do I do? I told him I would leave him alone, but I'm still so worried about him. He told me to be happy, but how can I? How do I stop this feeling of not being able to do anything to help while going about my day? I'm leaving to go across the country to travel by myself for awhile, so that may help but still I can't help but worry.
TL;DR: | Bf wants a 2 wk break because of stress/anxiety. I can't help but worry during that time - what to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [24F] struggling to come to terms with my mother's [48F] secret life and accept her new husband
POST: My parents were high school sweethearts and divorced when I was 10. At the time I knew there had been some issues (they were always fighting after my younger brother and I went to bed), but I didn't know much more than that. My parents had shared custody over us, so we lived every other week with each of them. I was close to both of my parents, but my mum was always my confidante and we would tell each other everything.
Fast forward until I was 22, and coming home for christmas after having been to college. My mum wants me to meet her "new" fiancee for the first time. However, when we are on our own, she breaks down and admits that they have actually been together for 16 years (Since I was 5..). He had been married the whole time and had finally left his wife for her. A few months later, they go abroad and get married with only two of my mums friends while I'm still away in college.
Now, I'm struggling with how to act around them, and to come to terms with the fact that my mum (who I was very close with) kept this secret from us for so long. My mum acts very differently around him as well: Her husband is very dominating and also very particular about his environment. To me, my mum seems timid and almost fake when she's around him. They also have a very lavish new lifestyle, which results in my mother only ever talking about things she's bought or fancy holidays they are going on/have been on. What makes it even more upsetting is that when they talk about trips they've been on together, I clearly remember what my mum SAID she was doing at the time. This happens a lot. I feel like she's a different person, that somehow she had a secret life for all these years that she's now chosen and doesn't know how to include me and my brother in. We also never have any time alone from her husband, which makes it almost impossible to have any kind of heart-to-heart. I want to be able to forgive her and give them both a chance, but I don't even know where to start. What can I do?
TL;DR: | Struggling to come to terms with my mum having a secret relationship with a married man for 16 years. How can I make it work as well as possible now that they are "officially" together? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My bf [25,M] doesn't like me [25,F] wearing sunglasses at all
POST: I have been with my bf [25, M] for 9 years but that breaks down to 6 years mostly online (only saw each other for 4 months in the summer) to 3 years either living together or living near each other.
I remember at the start of our relationship, I would wear sunglasses when it was sunny and he didn't have a problem with it. Now, when I try to wear sunglasses, he instantly get upsets and tells me, ' don't put those on' and then tells me if I do, he'll walk away from me (not end the relationship, just walk away). So, i have to walk around, with sun in my eyes just to please him.
He tells me I don't look good with sunglasses on and that he doesn't like it cos it wants to 'see my eyes'. I just want to wear what the fuck I want without feeling controlled but cornered cos I don't want him to walk off from me and be upset over this dumb shit. So I don't put them on just to avoid a retarded argument.
What should I do? And am I right?
TL;DR: | bf hates sunglasses on me, tells me not to wear them or he'll walk off and gets upset. What to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My gf (26f) has some commitment issues and I (26m) am struggling
POST: I've been with my GF for about a year. She's amazing in many ways (smart, funny, beautiful) and we get along well. I feel like we really understand each other. There's only one problem: she got out of a serious relationship (they were together for about 5 years) shortly before we got together, and she's been weary about being in a fullblown relationship because of that... In other words, I feel like she keeps me at arms length. For example, I only see her once a week. But besides that, I love her and I'm happy with her. So, I'm trying to figure out how to navigate this situation. I don't want to sell myself short or expect her to change, but at the end of the day, thats what I'm hoping for: I hope that she'll eventually feel like she's ready for a more --serious? committed? intense?-- relationship, and so I've been trying to keep my feelings/expectations in check. At the same time, I worry that im not being fair to either of us. I should probably just try to take the relationship for what it is. I've told her that I wish I saw her more frequently, and she told me that our current relationship is all she's capable of right now... Anyway, how would you guys navigate this?
TL;DR: | I love my Gf in so many ways --I just wish I saw her more frequently. Trying to figure out how to navigate the situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25F] need advice with my [23 M] best friend/crush in a difficult time
POST: We have been friends for years, but in the last 6 months, have become extremely close and talk constantly. We live 5 hours apart, and I have purposefully tried to keep it as just a friendship due to this, but the last few months I have really started to develop strong feelings for this guy, and I think he feels the same way - the timing has just never been right.
Regardless of my feelings, I have purposefully put them on hold for another reason - he has a close family member who has been battling a serious illness, and while he pours all his effort into coping and supporting, I felt it would be selfish of me to try to initiate something, considering the effort that would be required for that. I also felt, that in time of need, I would be better off filling that 'supportive friend' role rather than complicating it.
But now, I'm not so sure. He's very reluctant to open up, and I'm really worried his family member's battle is not going very well. I'm not sleeping because I know he is struggling so much, and I would give everything to physically be there to support him (which work prevents) - but I'm worried that it would seem 'too much' considering we are friends, as well as the fact that I would be getting in the way with his family (whom I don't know very well, and are obviously all struggling).
I feel I can't tell him any of these things - it would be selfish when what he is going through is a thousand times harder; nor do I want to add to his stress or give him anything more to deal with. But at the same time I want him to know I am here.
I guess my question is, am I doing the right thing by holding off? Is there anything else I should do/say to help him out?
Any advice would be appreciated, this is really stressing me out!!
TL;DR: | Close friend/guy I really like is going through an EXTREMELY tough time, don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by eating a mashed potato bowl
POST: It's finals week and on Tuesday evening, I needed to eat something quickly before a study session so I went with a mashed potato bowl consisting of corn, mashed potatoes, bacon bits, cheese, and pieces of fried , boneless chicken which were exceptionally large. I devoured my food and these collosal chicken pieces which unmercifully cut my throat. Thinking nothing of it, I continued to eat my meal. Little did I know, this is the last meal I have eaten to this date. The next day I was feverish, had a splitting headache, an incredibly upset stomach, intense feeling of nausea, 4 kanker sores and, the worst symptom of all, a feelimg of acid reflux which occurs every time I swallow my own saliva, water or food. The sensation of eating is far too painful so I basically have had tiny bites of miscellaneous types of food, none of which has worked, including apple sauce! I ended up half ass-ing my finals and have been starving for about 4 days now. I also couldn't go to a baseball game my gf got me tickets for because I was profusely sweating and was in no physical condition to attend. If anyone has experienced anything of the sort, please share advice!
TL;DR: | swallowed chicken that was too damn big which has iterated my entire body, didn't exert any effort into any of my finals due to the pain and had to miss an MLB game my gf got me tickets for. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Who doesn't have a plunger!?
POST: It was standardized testing week at my high school. I told two of my friends I would take them to school one of those days. Neither lived in my neighborhood but they both lived near the school. The morning I went to pick them up, I overslept. I normally took a shower before school but I didn't want to make either of them late. So I picked them up and got to school with just enough time for all of us to get to class. One of the girls I had picked up felt bad that I had to skip out on my routine to get them both so she gave me her house key. I wrote myself a note to get out of study hall and went over to her house to shower. Prior to going over there, my friend gave me permission to smoke some of her weed. So I got there, smoked a bowl (forgetting my tolerance was not high enough to smoke a whole bowl-pack to myself) and showered. Afterwards, stoned out of my mind, I took a massive dump in her toilet. It was literally one of the most amazing shits I had ever had in my entire life. When I went to flush, to my dismay, the toilet severely clogged. Not to the point of overflowing, but enough for the entirety of my shit to just be sitting there. I panicked. I was ridiculously high and had limited time to get back to school in time for my next class. Frantic, I searched the entire apartment for a plunger. There was no plunger to be found... anywhere. I couldn't leave the shit just sitting in there. So I used the only thing I could think to use that they had - a red Solo cup. To this day, that friend does not know of that incident.
TL;DR: | I was really high and took a massive shit in a friend's toilet while alone. Had to "plunge" it with a Solo cup. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25M] asked out a gal [23-25F] for the first time in a few years, but she's out of my league
POST: Ok, so the title is really bad. I am coming out of a depression that's last for a few years after getting my heart broken twice within a short period of time. Obviously, I haven't done any dating, and have only recently (past 7 or 8 months) started to get my life back on track (reapplying to college that I dropped out of, working out again, looking into better jobs, taking care of myself better. i.e. doctor visits, therapy, ect.).
I spent a lot of time stalling because I kept thinking I wasn't good enough to date anyone, or how could anyone want to date me.
Anyways, I met this particular gal awhile back (August last year) when I switched from nights to days and was transferred to a different store as part of my promotion (assistant manager at a gas station chain, fast tracked to being promoted to store manager next Spring/Summer). She works next door as a journalist/reporter for the news station. I instantly took a liking to her, and we hit it off well whenever she would stop in. I finally asked her out yesterday, and she gave me her number so we could set up an actual date.
Now I'm freaking out. That was a bold move for me. I want to impress her, and would like to see where things go, but am lost. I don't know how to date people, don't do well in one on one settings for extended periods of time (I can't sit at a dinner table and talk to one person for 2 hours), and I feel like she's out of my league.
I don't know if I'm ready to start dating (I hope so), but the only way to know is to try. I just don't want to screw it up because I have no clue what I'm doing and bumble things.
TL;DR: | Basically, I think she might be too good for me, and don't know what to do. I like her, personality, looks, ambition, but don't know if I can live up to the expectations she must have. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (f22) with 2 years long distance relationship with (m24), getting to an even longer distance. Advice?
POST: Hello!
So I've been in a relationship for almost two years now, and it's a long distance relationship. We live in the same country about an hour and half by plane.
I'm moving to study in the UK though, which is 6 hours away. 2 hours time difference.
I know alot of people would think what's the difference? We live in a sort of kind of a conservative country, so when I go to him I have to come up with any excuse though it's not required but just to not be suspicious. When he visits me we usually just hang out because I don't have options for us to get comfortable where I live.
However, we're both established and financially independent so we travel wherever we want and every 3-4 months we go somewhere abroad.
We agreed that when I'm in London things will actually be easier because he'll have a reason to go there more often (he already goes there at least twice a year) so now he'll make that even more. And he will look for a summer course from his work. We also agreed that because I'll be busier than usual, if we don't text/talk everyday it's ok and the other person shouldn't feel left out or worried. And we would Skype more as we rarely do video chatting. He's also a busy man! So he won't necessarily feel left out.
I'm so confused, I'm 100% sure that I don't have any doubts about wanting to put all my effort for this relationship. He's an amazing kind person. But I also don't want to make myself and him feel like it's easier than what it really is.
Do you guys think I'm exaggerating?
TL;DR: | Long distance relationship but in the same country, I'm moving to UK. We're able to meet every 3-4 months. Is it hard? What do you advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: 25 [F] is 'playing games' with me 25 [M]. Appreciate any advice/insights/etc.
POST: I met Jaime through a mutual friend. My first mistake was not calling her, as her friend had provided a phone number. I chose instead to FB message her (her friend had shown me her FB profile to gauge my interest) because I figured she would see my face and see that I looked like a relatively normal guy and I would have a better chance at her saying yes to a date.
Took her out for coffee, I thought the date went pretty well. I followed up with her 2 days later, again with a FB message, telling her I had a good time and would like to take her out again. I can tell she had seen my message within a hour of sending it, yet I don't receive a reply for 4 days! I think that's a little excessive.
She basically said likewise, lets try for next week. My question is, do I fight fire with fire? Do I wait a couple days before responding, or just send her a reply tomorrow? I hate games but appreciate that everyone plays them and that I must in turn too play.
I'd appreciate any advice, insight on how you would proceed forward or maybe her thought process (from a female perspective).
Thanks in advance!
TL;DR: | Girl waits 4 days before responding to my message, do I play the same 'game' (waiting a couple of days before replying) right back? How do I play this one? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Advice needed. Need to help a friend [50/m] who doesn't know if he should sustain a destructive relationship even though he cares about her [28/f]
POST: Hey everyone. So a friend of mine (let's call him John) was in about a 3 year relationship that had a lot of ups and downs but was relatively fine. When they broke up, the girl (call her Jessica) went crazy and stole money, booze, food, sheets, his iPad, etc. from him and left for a year and came back a week ago. She seemed relatively normal to him, and John always has his door open for anyone that needs help, so he let her back into his life.
They mutually agreed to be friends from then on, but she has always been really possessive of him causing him to not be able to go on dates, hang out with people, etc. A few days ago, Jessica left her email open on his computer, and he sifted through some and found that she had been sending pornographic stuff to people she meets through craigslist and finds that she is homeless and a prostitute. He confronted her about it, and she went nuts. Screaming, throwing things and stuff. He really cares about her even though she is abusive and he feels bad for her because he thinks her bad upbringing had a huge role in this.
TL;DR: | Anyway, he can't live his life because of her but he doesn't want to get rid of her because he cares about her deeply despite everything she has done to him. What should he do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20M] am in a monogamous relationship but I am still sexually attracted to other people, I am not sure how to tell him [20M]
POST: I really need some advice on how to handle this, it's been killing me to keep in my head and I can't help but feel like I am doing something deceitful by not telling my boyfriend. We have been together for a year and four months and it has been great. I really do love him a lot and I love being together. However I am having a very hard time handling a sexually monogamous relationship. I still experience sexual attraction to other people and have a strong desire to 'hook up' with or see other people in a strictly sexual way (not romantically). I also believe I may be aromantic but that's not incredibly relevant.
I want to be with him forever but I don't know how to get past these feelings. I have tried ignoring it and they won't go away. I should mention that my boyfriend has been incredibly possessive and jealous in the past, he has forced me to comfort him after having a dream that I cheated on him. I have never given him any reason to not trust me, so it does not seem fair that I am constantly having to reassure him of my fidelity. He often says things like "I am so glad you're all mine" and "promise me we won't break up." It's not healthy. I am worried our relationship is getting to a place that is too serious for what he can handle, based upon the poor way he handles his jealousy as his inability to talk with me about serious issues.
What do you say reddit? Should I swallow my feelings and try to move past it, or should I talk to my boyfriend about my sexual desire and hope all goes well? How can I get him to talk to me without shutting down? Am I immature for being unable to live in monogamy or are some people just not cut out for it? Our serious conversations are usually cut short by him getting to upset to continue the talk. I really really do love him a lot and I want to spend our lives together but I just don't know anymore. Thanks so much for reading and any advice is greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | monogamy is hard for me, but is it optional? Should I tell my boyfriend that I have sexual feelings for other people? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (24M) with friend (23F), not sure if she's into me
POST: Long time lurker, first time posting. I've been good friends with this girl. We'll call her N. I met her through a dance group I used to be apart of. Soon after we met she started datinf a friend of mine. I was also in a relationship. We became good friends over the years. She's helped me through my breakups and I have helped her. My ex left me about 7 months ago and she has recently split with hers. They had bought a house together so she is currently living with her dad.
I've had a crush on her for quite some time. We've had alot of really intimate/ sexual chats for just being friends. Lately we haven't been talking as she says she is so busy and just wants space too herself.
Here's where things get confusing. Last night my sister invites "N" over. There are a bunch of us playing cards against humanity. We are all having fun. "N" and I start talking. She tells me she misses me. We sit beside each other. I've got her under my arm. We are all having a good time. While we are around everybody she decides to tell me sometjing very explicit that she found out about herself. She wrote it on her phone but no one could see it. Well I got super excited by what she told me.
We have plans for dinner next week. I need your help guys. Everyone says we'd make a cute couple, but i've never been good at seeing signs. Is she into me? Or are we just good friends
TL;DR: | Good friend of mine. Big crush on her. Haven't seen each other in awhile. Shares very intimate things with me. Don't know if she's into me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I just witnessed something adorable, then heartbreaking (different incidents). When has your good mood been absolutely destroyed? (or bad mood been absolutely uplifted?)
POST: I work at a college that deals has a lot of special education students, they have a wide assortment of issues, and some are just impossible to deal with. However, there are some that are just amazing. Yesterday, this lady who is a little older than most of our students came in, she's so short and adorable, has glasses, but is a little cross-eyed. Anyway, she shuffles through the office and as I walk by here says "Hello, have a cookie." I take a cookie, say thank you, she then proceeds to go through our entire office and give everyone a cookie. It was adorable.
I leave work feeling pretty happy about that (it happened at the end of the day) and go to the gym as I tend to do... On the treadmill is this incredibly large man, like 400lbs of pure fat. It's awful, but I'm thinking "good for him, trying to get healthy" yadda yadda yadda. He keeps up a pretty good walk for a couple minutes then goes to a couple machines near where I'm doing my workout. Later on as I go to get a drink I can see he's really worn out just staring into a nearby mirror where he then breaks down and starts to cry... I have no idea the exact reason, but I could only make various assumptions, all of which made it seem sadder. My mood was obliterated...
TL;DR: | Adorable special education student gives everyone cookies. I'm happy. Obese man cries at the gym. I'm sad. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Public Nuisance Advice
POST: Hello!
I just moved to an area of Oakland that has some interesting zoning . Meaning that there are residential units adjacent to light industrial such as furniture manufacturers, music studios, and other light industrial. All but one of the light industrial neighbors has any kind of presence in the neighborhood, in my opinion.
Directly across from my house there is a company that ships products in large semi trucks. They load semi-trucks Monday-Friday, and Sunday 4am-5pm. They only take Saturday off and they do not take holidays off. They use fork lifts to move large pallets into the semis. The reverberation of the pallets slamming down in an empty semi truck is intense. It shakes our whole house. Additionally, you can hear their walkie-talkies, and general work banter that sometimes includes loud yelling all the way into our bedroom which is roughly 500 feet away from where they work. They block one side of the street so it makes difficult for me to pull out of my driveway in a car and it has created traffic when there are more than two cars going in opposite directions. We moved into our apartment here without knowing that they existed. Our landlords omitted that information until we signed the lease. When the packing facility doesn't operate their building looks almost abandoned. They have boarded up windows, etc...We have adjusted and aren't woken up as often anymore. We also tell ourselves to tolerate the noise," it's not like we own the house, we are just renters".
A group of neighbors has been able to get the attention of the public attorney who deals with the city's public nuisances. They are all submitting letters of their own experiences in order to get these guys to abide the law and mediate their presence in the neighborhood better.
My personal feelings are that I don't want to push them out because after all, we just got here and they've been here for 15+ years. I want them to continue their business but within the law. It would be nice for them not to be so loud or to at least move their loading operation on the other side of their building where there are no houses.
These are my concerns:
-Legal backlash from the company we are declaring a public nuisance.
-Being a NIMBY and contributing to gentrification.
TL;DR: | Are there legal repercussions for submitting a public nuisance declaration to the city of Oakland about light industrial neighbors who potentially abuse the law? Any opinions on this? Are we NIMBY'S that are changing the neighborhood? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [16/m] trying to break a very thick layer of ice with a girl [16/f]
POST: Sorry for the wall of text.
So I'm generally a very quiet and shy person, especially when it comes to the opposite gender. For about 6 months now, I've known (not extremely well) this girl. It started about halfway through last year when during one of my classes I needed somewhere to sit. Because I didn't know where to sit, I just chose the last empty chair, which happened to be next to said girl and her friend. For the majority of the rest of that year I never engaged in a conversation with her save when we were doing a group project that really required to, and even then I couldn't bring myself to say anything other than what was necessary. After that school was over and I stayed home for most of the summer. At one point during the summer I went somewhere public where out of coincidence I saw her in the waiting room. She stood next to me (presumably because I was the only person she recognized) and didn't say anything. That would've been the perfect moment for me to be like "oh hey you go here too?" or just any sort of conversation, but as i tend to do when I see people in public I became nervous and just opted to not say anything. Now at the beginning of this school year I have her in another one of my classes and because our last name's start with the same letter we were seated right next to each other. And for the past 2 weeks I haven't said a word to her. So my problem is how would I begin to talk to her and have it not be weird considering I'd finally be trying to engage gee in conversation after a long period of near silence. Is it even worth it at this point?
TL;DR: | Universe keeps putting me next to this girl, I don't say much at all (practically nothing), but now I really want to. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [30F] college friend's [29F] father passed away, and I need (cross-cultural) funeral etiquette advice.
POST: My college friend's father passed away this week. I haven't seen my friend in 7+ years, but their parents were very kind to me when I was in college.
There are 3 opportunities to pay respects: a Wednesday night, a Friday afternoon, Saturday AM funeral. I can't go to the Saturday funeral because I'm shomer Shabbat. (Look it up if you don't know what it means.)
The other opportunities conflict with an existing obligation and work, but I could hypothetically be late/take time off from work, though it is not preferable.
What should I do in this situation? Should I go out of my way to pay respects in person, or is it appropriate to send a card/make a donation in memory given my distant relationship with the family?
TL;DR: | Friend who I haven't seen in 7+ years' father died. Should I go out of my way to pay respects or is a card/donation appropriate? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [ 24/F] with my LD Bf [30 M] duration 6 Months, Our future together
POST: Hey reddit,
My BF and I of 6 months have been dating long distance for the past 6 months. We have known each other for over 6 years, so our relationship has progressed quite quickly, yet comfortably. We
We have been in a long distance relationship for the duration of our relationships which comes with its set of hardship, but we have gotten through it quite smoothly. He is not working full-time at the moment, and makes a huge effort to come down and see me at least every other week. I have a full-time position, and have been unable to take a lot of time off to visit him myself.
Our future looks bright, and we agree on a lot of our goals marriage, children, etc.
Due to our relationship being long distance we have agreed that there needs to be an end date in which we move in together or end up in the same place. The issue or problem that I am afraid we are going to face is that his career prospects are limited. He has had a number of jobs and has a good work ethic, but no schooling. Our goal as for him to apply for a government job as he has military experience.
The problem with this is that it may require us to relocate to an unknown location. I feel scared to leave my home, and career that I have spent the last four years building. Ultimately I could get a new job easily with my experience in my field, and I was more or less open to the idea of relocating, but when the idea was brought up again I became very emotional and scared.
I feel that this overwhelming state of emotion is associated with my anxiety and being used to being self reliant. It is not as if I haven't moved before and made things work well. In he end I am afraid to leave my friends, family and co-workers as they are all my biggest support system. On the other hand I want us to be able to live together and start our lives together.
TL;DR: | Am I normal for being upset? Or just overly emotional? Have any of you had to relocate for a spouse's career an leave your own behind? any advice or experience might be helpful. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: On Airlines, Gas Stations, and Kindness
POST: Today should've been the day I went to see the love of my life. She lives in Pennsylvania and I live in Ohio. It gets hard at times, but we are deeply in love and have been for two and a half years. I should've left today, but I decided to shave. By shaving, I set my departure back by five minutes, putting me just under the arrival cutoff for departures on Frontier airlines. The woman manning the desk had a monstrous smile when she told me they couldn't print out my boarding pass. The next available flight was Tuesday, which I could be on for $75. I don't know how much it takes to electronically move me from one plane to another, but I know it's not $75. What's more is that I'm positive that it is covered by the expense I saved them from not flying today. Miserable, I got in my car and realized that my gas tank was almost empty. I checked my bank account. I had $0.09 in my checking account, nothing in savings, and $1 more than should have been possible charged on my credit card.
I coasted to the nearest UDF, a local gas station franchise, and parked. I sat there trying to think of what to do. I wanted food, and gas, but I had no money. I searched my car and managed to scrounge up $4.25 and a lucky .50 cent piece. I bought a chicken sandwich, and the store manager gave me a soda after she overheard what happened. I will always buy gas from UDF in the future if I can help it. I called my friend from my college, and he's coming to loan me some dollars for gas, even though he lives two hours away.
TL;DR: | I will never fly Frontier again, always buy gas at UDF, and always be mindful and thankful of my friends and the kindness of people. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm going to end up hurting myself. I don't know what to do.
POST: I'm a relationship guy. I don't really do hookups but I'm on holiday in Australia so I thought I'd get tinder and have some fun.
Ended up meeting a fucking awesome girl on tinder. Seen her twice. We're extremely similar, I'm just a little more mature. We've both opened up to eachother in such intense ways and if I lived here I'd definitely form a relationship with her.
But I'm not living here. I'm on holiday. She is keen to hook up while I'm here, and hey so am I, I'm really attracted to her. But I know myself, I'm an emotional guy.
We didn't kiss last time I saw her because of some reasons. She asked me why via text and now next time I see her we are guaranteed to kiss and maybe more. Thing is I'm scared I'm going to fall for this girl more and more each time I see her (I'm here for 3 months) and then have to break my own heart by leaving.
I need to hook up. I need to get out there after a three year relationship I got out of. But fuck why does she have to be the coolest girl ever? Should I maybe go for it but just try to keep myself from forming an attachment? Help.
TL;DR: | I'm on holiday and can hook up with a girl but I'm scared I'm going to fall for her and break my own heart. What do I do |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Internet was *supposedly* booted off. Seeking advice
POST: So I'm not extremely internet savvy but I believe my internet was hit off earlier today around 7 or 8 pm est. my brother was playing some black ops 2 on his
TL;DR: | Internet may have been booted by a trickshot kid who bought a booter online or just an ISP fuck up. Seeking help if a DDoS attack |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] confused by my crush [21 F] of 6 weeks, over a text
POST: I like this girl there has been interest shown and we seem to have a pretty flirtatious but also close relationship. I asked her to lunch the other day in a text asking "Do you want to grab lunch on Thursday?"
She replied a bit later with a kinda odd text she said she had been thinking of me and wanted to see me but not for lunch just to help her study for a big test she has coming up. I took the class last semester and got an "A" she's struggling in it.
So when I see her later that day she expresses she got my text and wants to meet but she can't meet on Thursday but can on Monday. In front of her friends she just said "Yeah I can do that thing on Monday, does that work?"
Am I getting put down gently or is she just nervous? Or is this just her way of saying yes???
TL;DR: | Text girl asking her out to lunch, she replies that she wanted to talk with me but that she wants me to help her study. Mentions nothing about lunch. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19m] with my girlfriend [18 F] of a year, i feel like I shouldn't text my girlfriend during her school or activities.
POST: We text throughout the whole day, on most days. We see each other about 1-2 times a month. Shes in hs and i graduated last year. I'm currently out of school so we text from a good morning to a good night on. Shes in a program for college that will help her to get into a good college etc. I feel when shes in places like these or even in school i should let her focus but i don't know if shes okay with that. She tells me shes fine with it that i dont have to but im not convinced.
TL;DR: | Text everyday, feel like i shouldnt keep on texting her during her school or activities such as sports, college programs, etc. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18/F] with my friend [18/M] since beginning of 2014, started acting distant at times days after we drunkly watched a movie. Need advice
POST: I've been friends with this guy on and off throughout the year, because we study different things and barely see each other.
But after one crazy social night, he invites me to watch a movie at his dorm room.
Fairly drunk I saw no reason why not to a 1am movie.
We laughed during the movie, both laying on his bed, and no funny business occurred.
I left and said goodnight before inside jokes were exchanged.
Anyways, the next day after class I see him at the dorms and all I get is the most nervous "hi" from him. I thought nothing of it at the time, thinking he was just late for a class.
Then, in our usual ritual, of flirtingly messaging eachother, I message him some funny link. But no reply, then today I tried once more with a normal friendly message about uni. Still nothing.
Again I just suppose he's busy.
But then at catered dorm dinner we usually exchange small talk, though today nothing.
So I finally come to the realisation, hey, maybe he doesn't want to talk to me, and I come to a closure about it. THEN suddenly as I study in one of the public designated study areas he comes up and chats with me, as well as his guyfriend.
I'm a little confused, and I need your advice Reddit.
I suppose I've always had a crush on him, and that night at his place confirmed that a little more.
TL;DR: | Friend at dorm, that I always had a crush on, acts distant at times after a drunken night at his dorm room watching a movie. Have a wild guess what's going on Reddit :P |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, how does one sum up the courage to speak up in the face of injustice?
POST: An incident on the bus to school today proved that I'm a coward.
Sitting near the end of a packed coach bus, a girl who sat across the aisle had taken up two seats. She lounged on them with her legs up on one chair. It didn't bother me until two stops later, when all the seats on the bus were filled. Remaining passengers would have to stand. The closest girl to the empty seat didn't move all the way back and didn't see it. Meanwhile Miss Entitled sat unflinching without a word.
I was seized with a strong sense of indignation and tried to muster up the courage to say something. Unfortunately, I slunked out. Part of me wanted to speak up and make a stand against the bitch, but another part kept asking me if I was being paid to be the bus conduct invigilator. Mad as I was, I couldn't even look up and give her a dirty look. Reddit, I pay $15,000 a year for University to learn about social injustice and inequality - and yet I can't even bring myself to call someone out for selfishly hogging a seat. Can you drop some words of wisdom?
TL;DR: | I sat passively and couldn't confront a girl who was hogging two seats on a packed bus because I'm a coward. Share some wisdom so I'll stop being a pussy next time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by not washing my hands thouroughly after chopping peppers
POST: As it was the weekend, meal prep was in full swing. I was put on vegetable chopping duty by my wife. Amongst the victims of the chopping knife is a batch of Anaheim Chiles. Not the most potent of the peppers, but not the kind of thing you want to play lightly with. My wife had previous experience with these peppers; she had chopped some prior to putting in her contact lenses and spent a week only wearing glasses due to burning her eyes. Needless to say, I was wary. At some point, I must have touched my nose (allergy season is in full swing) and a burning sensation began in my nostrils. Imagine invisible ants biting the inside of your nose and no matter how hard you blow, you just can't get them out. Fortunately I had avoided my eyes, and based on my wife's previous experience I immediately went to wash my hands. I believed that was that, and after 30 minutes of slowly subsiding nose pain, I went about my day.
Evening rolls in. We've completed our culinary adventures, and have run out of things on the DVR. We get in bed & shut the dogs out for some privacy. Things heat up, and we start to get intimate. After a little foreplay, we're about to move on to the main act. As I adjust the covers and shift myself over, she gets a concerned look. Usually not the look I expect pre-coitus, so I ask what's wrong. Her response is a question: "Did you wash your hands after cutting those peppers?" My immediate response is yes, as I had already burned myself and wasn't looking to do it again. It turns out the skin on & around the clitoris is much more sensitive to capsaicin than I would have thought.
TL;DR: | Chopped peppers. Had some pepper residue on hands. Got frisky with the wife. Burned her lady bits. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Post Graduate twentysome with 2k net worth and debt looking for advice.
POST: With a networth of about 2k and a degree under my belt, I would imagine I am at the dead center of the current post collegiate spread. At the moment I have a total student loan debt of 8k, but a graduate windfall has pushed my savings to a level where I could pay off the total of my loans. I may be moving in the spring, so what would be the best use of my money?
With about 10k spread between savings and checking accounts, and an 8k loan with a 4.5% interest rate, what should a twentysome with no retirement fund do? Is it reasonable to open a Roth IRA and put away some money now and start a 3 fund portfolio, or is the better move to keep my capital open for unforeseen future disasters. I know this sub values emergency funds, but is it worth it to start investing in the face of uncertainty.
In terms of income I work several jobs weekly that do not amount to my career choice (but I do have an unpaid internship that is slowly progressing me to that point) that would put me solidly at the 18k a year range. With regular expenses at about 1k a month, which include student loan payments, is it reasonable to attempt to start a retirement portfolio, knowing that the most I can put down is a few thousand each year, or is my current situation more suited for a readily available cash reservoir.
As a very recent college graduate I am a bit frustrated as I struggle to find employment where my passion is. While I did not know everyone that graduated with from my college, I do happen to see when my classmates begin to gloat over their newly secured positions, but I've also seen terribly driven individuals who have now become trapped in a debt prison.
TL;DR: | Should I pay off all my debt now or take advantage of the relatively low federal loan interest rate to keep my money open in order to invest/have an emergency fund. Also I may be moving in Spring. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22M] business partner [26M] is addicted to weed, and it's affecting our start up
POST: I am in a new start up for the past 4 months. I should begin by saying I used to smoke weed for 2 years and now have quit for 2 years. The urge of blazing up has gone and I have become bitter towards weed (my personal life suffered a lot due to it).
My business partner and friend has been smoking since 7 years and is still deeply addicted to it (lights up around 5-6 times a day). He rationalizes it by saying he works better under high, but I've seen it to be false (could be confirmation bias due to my bitterness). Once high, he works, but the the quality is way lower than normal, and even our employees can notice it. I'm unsure of what to do as our progress is suffering a lot due to this.
Looking for any advice you guys can give.
TL;DR: | My business partner smokes weed a lot and works shabbily, want a way out without screwing up our business. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My bf (27m) is still friends with many of the girls he's slept with. How do I (26f) learn to deal?
POST: My boyfriend is friends with many of the girls he's dated or slept with in the past and actively interacts with them through text and Facebook. He does not seek to hang out with them in person. He says he doesn't even like some of these people, but feels an obligation to continue a friendship with them because he has a desire to please people. We've discussed it, and he knows where I'm coming from and why this would bother me. To be clear, I trust him completely and know everyone has a past. I just hate being reminded of his. But, I don't want to be the girl who says "you can't talk to so-and-so." So I need to accept that nothing is going to change. I don't know how. Any advice?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend is still in contact with exes through social media and text. Nothing is going to change. How do I deal? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 F] with my ex[21 F] duration, have to live together after breaking up
POST: I started dating my ex last year which was my first ever relationship with a female that I had been in. After a few months of a very dramatic relationship, we broke it off. Before this, I convinced her to achieve her dream of studying abroad in Africa. The summer after we broke up, we got back together but she didn't want to start a relationship when she was leaving for a few months. Our plan was to take it day by day (four months is a long time) and see what happens when she returns. Three weeks after she left, I found out that she was dating an African guy. Devistated, we sent emails after emails fighting back and forth. She eventually told me it would never work out because of my family and because she was disgusted with how we treated each other. I said if I were to get over her, I needed space so I banned her from Facebook, twitter, and any other form of communication possible to get some space.
I was devistated after this because I felt alone and that I would never find another girl since I come from an area where homosexuality is not seen as very accepted. However, with the help of very supporting friends, I got over her and moved on. She is returning in a few weeks and she is still planning on living in my college-owned house when she does. Two of my closest friends/roommates (it is a house of 5) do not want her to live with us because they feel like she will cause drama. The other roommate has been childhood friends with her and has no idea that we want her out of the house.
She is still dating her African boyfriend and I have no desire to get back together with her, but I know that if I asked her to move out her childhood friend roommate would be upset and she would feel attacked. Should I ask her to move out saying that it would be the best for both of us or should I try to retain a friendship with her to avoid drama?
TL;DR: | Scheduled to live with ex, don't want drama so I can't come off as attacking her but roommates/myself want her to move out |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: GF [26F] angry at me [32M] for refusing to be a guide/translator for her family's vacation to India
POST: I have been living in the US since I was 20 years old, coming here as a student originally from India, and eventually starting a career and settling down here. My girlfriend and I have been together for a little more than two years.
Her family is a very open, and friendly one. They've welcomed me into the family and I truly enjoy spending time with them. A couple weeks ago, during a family barbecue, they told me that they (her parents, and her two brother's families) had planned a vacation to India for the coming Christmas holidays. They invited me along as well, and also said it would be very nice if I could help translate for them, and also give them a more immersive experience in terms of sight seeing and discovering local culture, since I was a local. In addition, they also mentioned that it would be a great family bonding trip, and my girlfriend added that she really wanted to see the place where I grew up. To be perfectly honest, I felt a little bit insulted. I don't know, perhaps this is me being oversensitive, but assuming I'd essentially be a free guide for them was a bit degrading. My response was a bit rude as a result, I told them I wasn't interested in being a free guide, and that I also wasn't interested at all in coming along with them on their vacation, in addition to having a few choice words for their request.
Her family were a bit taken aback, and just remained silent My girlfriend, on the other hand, was pissed, and stormed home. And so, for the last two weeks, my girlfriend has been pretty pissed at me and we've barely had a conversation since. When I asked her what I could do to fix this, she says I need to apologize for my behavior, and reconsider my decision, two things I'm not entirely sure I want to do right now.
We've been at this impase for a while, and I'm not sure what to do now. Was the way I reacted overboard? Is my girlfriend right? Perhaps having a 3rd party explain would give me some perspective.
TL;DR: | Gf's family asked me to essentially be a tour guide for them, I reacted rudely and gf is now pissed. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [29/m] seeking advice for [30/f] in a difficult situation.
POST: Is there anything I can do when I know someone who is married but doesnt want to be with who they are married with anymore. However, she wont leave because there are kids are involved. Ive shown that id do everything for her as we have known each other for a long time and have offered to even help with the kids. We have both agreed that we were meant for each other but now she says we arent although I think its just cause how hard things are for her right now. She knows how I feel but right now she doesnt feel the same way back. Personally im afraid myself of moving on and trying to find another because I dont want it to seem like im going for second best or just settling for someone cause she has told me thats what she did and she has told me she regrets it. I have waited this long to find her....and im willing to wait longer but each day just hurts more and more.....should I just step away and wait for her to come to me, try to keep being friends and wait for the day to come from that, or try to move on and risk ending up in a similar situation she is in.
TL;DR: | I love someone who has felt the same way towards me but cant leave current relationship due to children and is trying to bury the feelings now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How Do I Save my Roommate?
POST: Hey Reddit,
I live with 5 other friends in a house with 6 bedrooms. We all attend the same University here in Canada and met in first year.
This past term, one of the original roommates went on a work term and sublet his bedroom to another good friend of the group. He is a great roommate and a better friend who fit into the group smashingly.
This upcoming term, we had two of the original 6 roommates going into a work term. One of them found a stranger to sublet his room to, while the other struggled to find a job. Now that we are in exams, the roommate who could not find a job, and who had planned to sublet his room to our friend that was subletting already has decided to stay in school next term. Also in the next term the person who was away on a work term is coming back to school.
This leaves us with 7 people who want to live here, but only 6 bedrooms to hold them all.
The stranger that is coming into the house next term has a signed sublet agreement from the original roommate.
We want to know, can we find a way to break this sublet agreement to let our friend stay in our house?
Thanks a bunch Reddit <3,
Blythwood
TL;DR: | Room contention between a good friend of ours, and a stranger who has signed a sublease agreement for that room. Can we make it so that our friend can stay? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I [25M] learn to cope with the fact that my ex [25F] now has a boyfriend?
POST: My ex broke up with me in November due to depression. She said she couldn't focus on us and wouldn't be ready for a relationship for a long time. We texted about once or twice a week for the next 2 months until I slept with someone and she found out. She then blocked my number, facebook, instagram etc.
At first the no contact really hurt but over time I found it was helpful. I started dating again in March and there were a couple of girls I had interest in but I never got into anything serious. At this point I thought I was over my ex and was comfortable with the thought of being close with someone else.
Last weekend I saw my ex at a house party for the first time since our break up. I didn't have a problem with this but she clearly wasn't happy to see me. She ignored me the whole night while being friendly with everyone else.
Last night was a similar event, I knew she was going to be there and I was frustrated with her from last weekend. I asked her if we could go outside for a chat. Thankfully it was very civil, I just wanted to make sure we could move on with no hard feelings and we didn't have to be friends but it would be nice if we could at least say hello to each other if we see each other.
We talk for a few minutes and I find out that she now has a boyfriend that she started dating 3 months ago. I immediately felt sick. I held it together, trying to not make it obvious I was hurt. We decide to go back inside and I avoid her for the rest of the night.
I was reasonably upset last night but waking up this morning I felt totally depressed. I've spent the whole day thinking about her constantly. It's selfish of me but I hate how she's over me and probably doesn't think about me anymore. I feel like I'm back at square one. How do people cope with this kind of situation? I've heard the "time heals all wounds" plenty of times but it's been 8 months since I broke up and this is the worst it's been.
TL;DR: | Broke up 8 months ago, thought I was over it, now feeling upset at the thought of my ex with someone else |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23F] boyfriend [23F] thinks ill of working women
POST: I've been with my partner for 2.5 years. We have a great relationship, but there's this one blip.
All of the women in his life, whether they be his mother, other relatives, or exes, have been housewives/housewife types.
We've discussed all of our future plans, and we've discussed at length the fact that I want my own career outside of taking care of our house and future kids. He feels uneasy about it, because the only women he's known in his life have stayed at home while the husband works. The ones he has known to hold jobs that also have families are emotionally distant from their husbands and kids.
I tell him to trust me, and he says he will, and believes I can handle multiple things at once. We're both at a point now where we're both holding full time jobs, more or less with the exact same schedule.
We've been through me doing full time school, holding a part time job, volunteering with our church on the weekends, and having a relationship and outside social life together. I know having kids, a marriage and a full time job are on a different plane than these things, but I do have a lot of faith in my ability to give the most amount of attention as I can to multiple things at once.
I still sense a little bit of unease when we bring future kids and working up to him. He knows I'm nothing like the other women he's witnessed with full time jobs and families, but I feel sometimes like I don't have anything else to tell him but "trust me."
It's starting to get a little frustrating. Am I wrong for that? What else can I say to ease his fears? (Please, no "you should break up" advice. I want to try and fix this to the best of my ability before considering pulling any plug.)
TL;DR: | My partner has had little experience with women working full time while having a family, and the experience he has had has been negative. How do I convince him that I'm not gonna forget about home life while working full time? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [17F] of about 3 months, and im staring to question if i rushed into it given i still feel something for my ex-girlfriend.
POST: I've been in a going out with a girl for about two weeks, who's liked me for about a year and am thinking i might have rushed into because ive been put into new classes at the start of a new seimester and my ex-girlfriend of a 2 month relationship (were really good friends for about 3 years prior) is in almost every class i have.
Don't get me wrong, i really like my girlfriend and feel we are a good match, but my last relationship ended because my ex said she didn't feel we should stay together because we are going to colleges at least 1000 miles away from each other, and said she's been thinking about that for a while and didn't want that type of end. I was pretty much a hermit for 3 months after trying to solve it through conversation and ended up with a solid rejection.
After my reclution I started to feel better sense i wasn't in any classes with her and my friends, including my now girlfriend, started to get me out. Within a few weeks i caught on that this girl liked me and put my toe in the water and found a connection. Then after a few more weeks we started dating, but then the new semister rolls around and im in almost ever class with my ex girlfriend and can't help but start to feel things for her again. It was never like it ended on a sour note and it's isnt possible to just avoid her so now im second guessing that I might have miss judged how ready i was to move on and now feel guilty that i might have just been trying to belive i didn't have any lingering feelings for the ex-friend and went into a new relationship with out enough closure.
TL;DR: | Ex dumped me because she didn't want to deal with a long distance realtionship before it started and can't help but have lingering feelings for her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (17/M) am having major anxiety over the beginnings of my first real relationship with (17/F)
POST: I've been talking to this girl for about a month now. We've been on two dates so far, with a third one later this week. She wants to take things slow, which I'm totally fine with, but we've both acknowledged that we want to push this forward at some point. Sounds like she obviously likes me and I've got nothing to worry about, right? I kind of agree.
This is the first girl I've ever really dated, so I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. Should I tell her this is my first relationship? Because truth be told, I'm kind of ashamed that it is. I know that I want to open up to her and move passed that surface level conversation, but I've got no idea how to do it. I don't have any deep dark secrets or anything but I'm still afraid that I'll end up scaring her away.
Thinking of this stuff in between our dates makes me really anxious, and I really want to talk to her about it, but I don't know when the right time to do it is or how to do it at all.
TL;DR: | Never been in a relationship before, starting one now, afraid of fucking it up. Should I try and tell this to her? If so, how should I do it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M], my partner [24 F] of 5 years and her friend. She has asked me to stop talking to her over FB
POST: My partner has recently introduced me to a few of her new friends from work. We all get along really well and have been catching up regularly a bit more over the last few weeks.
Hit it off really well with one in particular and we chatted a bit on Facebook about stuff that we'd done following each time we caught up. Nothing untoward, just the usual. I've complemented her a few times and thought nothing of it.
Recently, she sent me a message saying that I've made her feel uncomfortable and that we have no need to be talking to each other over Facebook, and that it's inappropriate to be doing so. She finished this by emphasising that we shouldn't especially given how close she and my girlfriend are.
I apologised and haven't spoken to her since she asked me to stop.
I've never experienced this with anyone before, and I don't think I've acted differently in the way I've spoken to her compared to any of my girlfriend's other friends. She's received glowing complements from them and when we catch up in person there's no awkwardness at all.
Does anyone have a similar experience to share some insight, and have I done anything wrong??
TL;DR: | GF's friend has asked me to stop talking to her via FB, says I made her feel uncomfortable. I don't think I've done anything wrong. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22M] falling for a lady [20F] who has a boyfriend
POST: I'm sure this has been discussed here before and I'll get the, "move on she's not worth your time and energy speech" but this girl blows my mind. Everything about her blows my mind. The way she thinks, her beauty, the conversations we share, her values, music tastes. Everything.
We work together and see each other at various social functions. I always find her sitting next to me or making a conscious effort to make sure I notice her. I am a fairly attractive male and have no problem getting women but man, she's something else.
We dance together when we're out with the coworkers at the bar. It's noticeable by others who know her that something is going on between us. Everyone says to me they're surprised we're not together. She's had a boyfriend for nearly a year and shows him love and affection. Myself and other coworkers have noticed this guy is a tool and acts like an asshole around us.
I found a perfect woman for me trapped by a douche of a boyfriend. Do I make my presence known and try to hang out with this girl more than I should? I don't condone cheating but I wouldn't be opposed if the two of them broke up.
TL;DR: | a woman I work with shows affection to me and seems to be a perfect match but she's been in a relationship for almost a year now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: How do I quit a job at a small business in a close knit town?
POST: I took a part-time job working with animals in July of 2014, a few months after I turned 18 and first got into the job market. I have anxiety issues and love animals, so figured this was the place for me to be. For the first few months I loved it, woke up every day excited for work and came home in a good mood.
Unfortunately, as time went on, I got to know my manager more and more and realised she's not someone that I want to have as a role model or as my leader. She hired another girl in September of 2014 and that completed our team. It's a very small business with only the three of us working there, and my coworker is leaving town on the 1st of April 2016. I don't want to work there without my coworker to support me as we bear the brunt of the work.
I would like to quit my job ASAP, going through the notions of a 2 or 3 week period after declaring my resignation. I'm willing to offer to train my replacement, as well. At this stage one of my largest concerns is how my manager is going to take it; she's quite immature and takes everything as a personal attack on her (after which she'll become very distant, quiet, and my coworker and I will be put on more hours as a result).
I also would like to continue working with animals and am working on applying for a veterinary nursing course online - for which I need to be doing work placement at one of the 2 vet clinics we have here. I'm scared that even if I quit as graciously as I can, she will slander me and ruin my chances at furthering my career. I still live with my parents and would like to move out this year, but at this stage I can't afford to.
I don't want to completely destroy her by quitting, but I don't know how much longer I can take this (especially when I already have a temporary job lined up and waiting for me whenever I decide to take the plunge).
TL;DR: | my manager is not someone I respect, my company has a total of 3 people working in it (including myself), and I would like advice on how to quit graciously and do my best to avoid burning any bridges. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me 18 F with my 20M bestfriend of 2 years, I feel replaced
POST: Since I've gotten into my first real relationship (about 8 months now), he's just been distancing himself from me and talking to a new girl (17F.) Normally I don't really care if he makes a new friend, but the fact that they're calling each other nicknames I've called him is weird. Plus, she kind of looks like me...
I initiate conversations 70% of the time, and conversations are stale and only last like 10 messages. Then it repeats at least once a week. He's been sorry for not talking and all of that, but like I just don't really like hearing the same lame excuse. Meanwhile they talk like everywhere so it's not much of an excuse?
For the past few days, I just haven't talked to him. He usually says things like "oh I really don't want to lose you as a friend" but just shoves me to the side afterwards, and I'm tired of it.
Although, we've been friends for years, like we listen to similar music, like the same shows and movies, and have the same hobbies. So it's just natural for us to be good friends. Like we've tried to pursue something romantic, but nothing seemed to click.
Since I began my relationship a few months ago, he just drifted from me. Which bums me out.
Also, If it because of my relationship, I think it's unfair because I spent like 2 years of our friendship listening to his talks about this girl he loved but she didn't. Even when I liked him (and he knew I did.)
I don't necessarily see his new friend as a bad person, considering she's followed me on most social media sites I use (he admitted to asking her to unfollow me.) She's a cool person to talk to, like even I like her. It's just him.
Like I'm starting to develop negative feelings about him, like I resent him, and I feel like jealously. Or is it all in my head, and am I the one that should be apologizing?
TL;DR: | I feel as if my best friend is trying to replace me, and I don't exactly know how to deal with it. |
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