Datasets:

jquiros

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suicide

like 6

Friends?Can someone be friends with me? I’m so lonely and scared and I know I’m on my own now. I’m afraid and nobody is around anymore. Everyone hates me and I’m so pathetic.

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"SoRry YoUr PoSt WaS tO sHoRt" Does it fucking matter if I didn't write a whole fucking paragraph just for one little meme. Does it matter if it's short

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My friend is a huge simp So basically his ex-girlfriend cheated on him 6 monta ago and now she is texting him about how she feels really sad. Now he is forgiving her and he wants to get back togheter... He truly is the king of all simps (Sorry for bad english)

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I am attending the army and i am getting suicidalAlright, we have mandatory enlisting and attendance at the army when we turn 18. The duration of my attendance is 14 months. Problem is, i cant handle it anymore, its been over a month, i get treated like shit. Even if i follow my orders to the t i get dissed (by different people). I have asked for medical care or a doctor to check my feet because walking hurts a lot, it had been 3 days and nothing.I am back home now for 2 days. My tendons and ankles have gotten swollen. I can barely walk. I am getting suicidal and desperate. I dont know how long i can keep it together. My parents wont allow me because *quitting* here is a social stigma. I however, will leave *here* . Mandatory army the way it is applied here is unconstitutional and against regulations of UN and EU. I have the right, under UN and EU, as well as my country to object due to personal beliefs. Also, my battalion/company/whatever , is way tougher than the rest in the country, we come second to special forces only. No matter how hard we try we get shitted on by the people above us. I object attending because i do not want to kill a person, do not wish to hold a gun that *can* kill a person, can not live without humility, can not let go of who i am and become part of the machine that has and will keep killing people, because i can not just lose touch with my friends, my family, my girlfriend, because i am a person and i deserve to get treated as such, because i do not with to become ~~a man~~ the man they want me to be. Because no matter how much hatred people have towards other races, i do not have such. Because i have nothing to pay to this country that has made me feel like an unwanted person. Because i cant keep my sanity anymore. None understands it. The complications of not attending are these: * Not allowed to work on public sector * Not allowed to get a driver's license in the country * Not allowed to vote * Social stigma All i want to do is get my degree from university and leave this country. I dont plan on coming here again. Ever. **tl;dr**: My parents are unwilling to sign so i can stop attending the mandatory army. I am getting suicidal and desperate.

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need someone to talk toneed someone mostly to listen and maybe give me advice

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please just kill mei cant stop crying no one will help me

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I'm just doing this to get a chest so yea and btw download it if you want to it's a pretty good game Check out this awesome game I’m playing: https://mgcl.co/cats?sharingId=c86975e372cc4c9d9b023f064c6ca2f0&_m=0hKcknt0yol0

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Should I suicide soon?I am thinking suicide might be the best answer now.

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I can only find advice for victims, but I feel like the guilty party.I've considered posting for a while and never have. But my head feels so empty at the moment that I'm just letting the words fall onto the screen *just* in case someone has some useful words. I've been depressed with some ups and downs for years now. But thoughts of suicide only come up for a couple weeks at a time really strongly and then subside. I know I need therapy, but I can't get it this semester for difficult-to-explain reasons and have to make it to next semester on my own, so I'm kind of grasping at straws here for something. I think constantly about why I feel the way I do, and I can boil it down to strong regret and guilt over past actions. And I know I can't overcome this unless I can overcome those. But whenever I try to research these things, I get: Information for victims Stories of guilt that seem accidental or mild. And of course I'm glad that these are here for those who need them, but the more I research for help, the worse guilt I end up feeling. I'm fighting myself over whether I'll hit the submit button, so I'm just leaving it at this, and leaving out details. Any comment or recommendation of guilt resources would mean a lot.

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I don't think I can do it anymore...Hey guys, last year (December 2015) right before I turned 18, I made 3 attempts to take my own life and they all failed. Recently I've been trying to convince myself that I can be happy but I don't see the hope. I almost didn't graduate from high school and I failed half of my classes my first semester of college. I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and having to always keep myself alive is tiring and not worth it. I'm wasting supplies and money that could be used for more important things and people. I honestly don't see hope to keep living. I haven't been on a date in 2+ years and I feel like I never belong. It's not really worth it for me to keep living. The only thing that stops me is my younger siblings, I can't imagine how they would feel. But soon I think that even the thought of that won't stop me, I just have no will to keep trying and keep living anymore.

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Compulsive gambling, homeless on FridayI feel so insane I don't know what I'll end up doing. I haven't made a car payment in months, but don't worry the registration is expired and I have no insurance. I'm off my meds and I'm either anxious, scared, sad, or angry all day long. I work the night shift and I'm terribly isolated. I've been an asshole to my family and they say "you've really changed Alex." I'm 40 with no partner and no kids. I got sober in 2014 and life was, for once, pretty fucking awesome. After three years I asked my psychiatrist for the good drugs, the add drugs and the anxiety drugs, and now I'm strung out and completely miserable. I want to go to treatment but my insurance deductible is 6000 dollars and every penny I get my hands on goes into the casino. Credit score 371 down from 700 six months ago. I can't stand it anymore. Kill me now. I don't want to live. Fuck it.

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I don't know if I'm at risk, or if this is just a hormonal thing.I was redirected here after posting in /r/AskWomen. To begin, I am 16 and I have been on Zoloft since Nov 2014 and had two suicide "expressions" (I would not call them attempts because they were not attempts, they were more like heightened thoughts that scared the hell out of me and put me in the hospital.) I have been depressed for maybe two years and have what you might call just passing suicide thoughts? I mean, I think about it like I would think about the taste of a food or the appearance of a flower. Just little tidbits of thoughts. These occur I would say 2 times a week on average. But I noticed they get to be almost daily/5 times a week during the few days leading up to my period, and for pretty much the duration of it. I can't say how long for sure because the thoughts AND my period just started. They scare me, and I'm afraid to say something to my mom because she might freak out and cry which stresses me out. And to top it all off last night I had a vivid dream that I was going to shoot myself in the head. I didn't do it, because in the dream I realized I have things I want to do in life and dying would take away those things. I feel the same way in real life. I'm just scared of these thoughts and I don't want to go to the hospital again. I don't see my psychiatrist until later this month and I don't see a therapist at all. How do I go about explaining all of this so these thoughts can be stopped?

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Help for My fellow teens Dont ever have crushes If you want a bf/gf. You have to askel every person you know and dont know and then someone will propably go out with you. I just got a hot bf from omegle. Anything Works you know.

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Not suicidal yet but getting damn closeI just texted my ex and it when as well as one would expect. I have stopped taking my meds and I'm alone at home. Started taking shots alone. Ok off to do another shot and we will see where the night goes.

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[Interactive Quiz] On a lighter note, see if you are an introvert, extrovert or a hybrid of both personality elements. It's fun. [http://pers0nality-quiz.s3-website-us-east-1.amazonaws.com](http://pers0nality-quiz.s3-website-us-east-1.amazonaws.com)

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About to give up, just found out my mother with alzheimers never loved meI'm 15, Female. During the pandemic I look after my mom and everything to do with her when my dads not home (giving her food and drinks, making sure she's okay). She's advanced to a stage where she can't talk properly anymore. For the past few weeks I've been feeling extremely suicidal, before the pandemic I was already so depressed that I was missing weeks of school, and there was nobody at home to force me to go so I'd just stay at home with my mom. My motivation for work is severely lacking to the point where I'll feel like crying just from looking at work I need to do. So right now im months behind school (not even including all the work they've set online during the pandemic) So the other day I thought "I'll just do all of my work for art, because that's something that I don't need any of the months of lessons to be able to do". And I started writing down all of the things I need to do. Skip forward to today. I went downstairs for some reason (I think to ask him to help with my work) and we ended up talking about my mom. And I mentioned something about how she always used to play with other kids but would rudely refuse to play with me. I said it was probably because her alzheimers was developing. This is when my dad hits me with a bomb. When she had me, she had postpartum depression, and because she was stubborn and furiously independent she refused to get help with it or even acknowledge there was anything wrong with her. So, she never became attached to me, and then she started developing alzheimers. So she never started loving me. My whole life, the one thing keeping me sane was that at least I knew that my mom loved me. Because my dads become depressed and irritable recently and it seems like he hates me sometimes. And I've just found out that she never loved me, at all, for any of my life. She used to push me into walls when I was little, and blame me for everything, and always take my brothers side in arguments. I don't even know how to ride a bike because she'd always refuse to take me out to do it. And I always thought that it must've just been alzheimers. But all of this was back when the only signs of her alzheimers was that she'd forget her keys sometimes. So she just hated me. All my life I've thought she loved me, but she hated me. And im just, struggling to see the point in living in a world where I don't even have the chance to have a connection with her. If she just hated me then I could try to fix it, but I can't because of her alzheimers. I just... Its all too much for me.

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Starting to look like my only option.I am falling apart. I feel like I am melting. Everything hurts. I am confused and hurt. It feels as though someone is reaching through my chest and squeezing my heart. I am weak. My strength is a facade. I want to dissappear. I want to run away from my life, and go anywhere else. I want to start over, but I cannot because I am stuck. I want to be somewhere that nobody knows me. Everything is set. I just have to do it.

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current state of my mental health: just finished killing stalking in 1 day what the fuck. im so mad OMG it .... such a roller coaster ...... i cant believe i experienced that

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Anyone know how to travel back in time to fix my mistakes? Because that my only option other than suicideI know this sounds stupid but I genuinely believe someone in this world knows time travel I don’t know if they’re a secret cult or a top secret government project I don’t care I’m depressed because of the decisions I’ve made and I have hope that one of you listening might actually know a way to time travel and fix everything if not I don’t know how I can live anymore

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Why reach out? It doesn’t work.I’ve told two different people today that I’m not okay. My roommate just basically said “yeah I’ve noticed you’re depressed but I have a problem where I don’t feel normal people feelings” How is me reaching out for help send you the message that I want to hear about you can’t feel anything? All I do is feel sad, alone and like I can’t do anything. My boyfriend didn’t really say anything at all and after talking with him about how I don’t feel like I matter somehow I ended up apologizing. Why am I even alive? The two people I see the most are indifferent to me. I’m so small in their world to matter, how could I ever matter to anyone else? All I can think about is disintegrating into the darkness. I wish my body would slowly fade away into the dark like my mind already has.

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I don't want to kill myself but I can't get rid of this feelingsI've been wanting to kill myself for a while now. Yesterday we buried my great grandma and I saw people breaking into tears that I've never seen before in that position. My family usually don't show emotions and seeing them crying like there was no tomorrow broke my heart even more. I don't want to do that to them. They don't deserve that. I'm being treated with a psychiatrist and psychologist for a couple of mental illnesses but I haven't mentioned the fact that I want to commit suicide. To no one, actually. Yesterday I almost broke but like any other day, I just kept hiding my emotions because I feel that if I talk I won't be able to keep on going. Should I talk to my psychiatrist or psychologist? Both? Thanks for reading. I think I messed up writing and may be confusing but I can't read it again. Gotta keep going.

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i like the moon the moonlight is so soothing

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I'm 13 and in a long-distance relationship with a 15-year-old girl, will it work out? Im from New York, she's from Switzerland. Just started dating her a week ago, and she's really nice, pretty, and is very similar to me. My best friend says that I shouldn't fall too deep in love because we both might meet someone else. I try to convince him it will work out, and he keeps me up at night because I think about her and her finding someone else. I really love her and I don't want it to end, so can someone please answer this question?

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Happy International Kitchen Day! I know I may be a bit late, but better do it then never.

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the audiotree live version of liquid smooth by mitski has made me believe in god again i never thought i could love a song so much but i’ve played it thirty times in the past week🧍🏾‍♀️

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I really don't want to go back to the hospital.I have difficulty expressing myself through text or in person. I've pretty much shut myself off from anything and everyone since before January and haven't been on any meds or therapy for over a year. Even when I am on treatment I think about suicide daily and get frustrated when I don't see any changes. Today my rent is due. I have the money but my landlord only accepts money orders. He seems to think it's the only secure way to make a payment. I can't seem to motivate myself to go to the bank and get it printed up. I'm going through all of my common arguments of why this is even worth the effort. I know it's a simple thing to do and I hate that I always have to somehow convince myself to do the simplest things. Part of me knows what I need to do but I just can't seem to find it in me to do it. Maybe posting this will help me to see how stupid I'm being and just pay the rent. I can try and deal with the other stuff if I can do that.

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Got to a stage where i don't want help anymore because i dont careYeh, been suffering in silence with depression for 2 years. Went to the doctor, she said that she couldnt help me because of the wait for a councellor or therapist. I asked for medication and she said she wouldnt be willing to issue it. She told me to go away and talk to my family even though i said to her that i cant talk about these things. I've got to a stage where i just give up, maybe this is just what i deserve and what I've ben giving in this shit life. I don't even want help anymore, im just accepting that happiness is not an option anymore. I accept that i won't be truly happy again and have forgotten what it feels like. I've started smoking in order to shorten my life so i die earlier. I can't stand my life, other people are happy and then theres me. shitty me sat pushed into the fucking corner who no one gives a shit about. I'm always to blame for everything and its always my fault. I truly give up reddit. I love all of you people on here who try and help, even though i dont know you in real life and never will i really respect all your help.. But unfortunately im lost, there is nothing more for me now. I give up, people will be sad i go but maybe itll make them realise that they should have had their eyes open and looked out rather than in all the fucking time. thanks all

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jus wondering idk i maybe wrong wouldn't kids be better off spending their most creative years trying to find something they're passionate about instead of memorizing bullshit that isn't required?

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ever jus.. know whats wrong but dont know how to fix it... i know.. i got some form of depression but dont know how to deal with the shit. i know i have some severe anxiety but dont know how to deal with it jskdnmj o.o

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I took an overdose and now I'm scaredI don't know how much I took but I had 2400mg citalopram laid out and I got part way through and I chickened out. And I've called 999 and a doctor is going to call me back and maybe an ambulance at some point but I'm so scared. What have I done? My parents. I love them so much.

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helping a friend with suicidal thoughts i know this sub is a lot of shitposts but i dont really know where else to look. any ideas? dont want to make their situation worse. what should i say to them?

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I have reached a peak in my ever-going quest for self improvement, and the only way is down. Everything I try in life fails, and every time I try to improve I fall back down to my original situation.For a while I have been trying to make myself feel better. I have increased my social experiences greatly, I go to the gym 4-5 days a week, I eat very well, and I get 8 hours sleep every day. I do everything I can to make myself feel better, but nothing works. I have lost all attachment to my goals, and I always return to this low state of depression. I can't make any situation work out in my favor, and most of the things I attempt fail. What is really the point of trying to make yourself feel better if you are in a constant state of depression. Why live a hard life when you are guaranteed to die.

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Instead of just complaining about stuff on this sub... Complain about stuff on this sub AND find something we all can talk about. Yes i am hypocrite, no i am not going to help you Thank you for reading

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GUYS SHE SAID YES!!! To be friends.....I fucking hate myself

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I'm 19 and I've already had enough of this lifeHi, I'm a 19yo European girl. I'm supposed to start university this year. But I'm not looking forward to it at all... The thing I miss the most is my childhood. I miss the times when nobody expected me to behave "responsibly", when I was cared for and could just have fun. I also wasn't aware of all the bad things in this world.  I've never said I wanted to become adult, mature and responsible. I feel so helpless because nothing could be done about this. I'm so young, yet I feel the best years of my life are gone. I feel like there's no such university degree, no such job that could give me happiness. There's nothing that could bring my childhood back. The thought of functioning in "adult world", dealing with career, insurances, doctor appointments etc. makes me SICK. I'm also petrified when I think I'll have to take care of my parents when they're very old. I've always had practically no social life. People said I was a shy kid. But that wasn't a big problem because adults did things for me. Now any interaction with a stranger gives me anxiety.  When I look at my peers or other people, I feel I'm so "wrong" and out of place that I'll never be able to live a normal life. I feel useless. People at my age have jobs, serious relationships, plans for the future. I don't have a social life, but I don't feel lonely. It frustrates me that many people think one can be happy only around others. Sometimes I also feel a sort of guilt - I know many people have gone through traumatic experiences, like domestic abuse, sexual harassment or toxic realtionships. I've been brought up in a safe, friendly environment, getting almost all things I wanted, yet I feel depressed, anxious and helpless. Everything's OK as long as I'm isolated in my own world. My fave activities are reading, listening to music and playing video games. (The world in games is so simple and restricted. I love it that I can have everything under control.) But almost each time I have to step out of my safe space and do something in the real world, I feel nervous and upset. This wasn't a trouble when I was a little girl - it's understandable that a child can have their own world. There are times at which I think about ending it all. But I know my family love me and would be absolutely devastated (which I find a bit ridiculous because I don't think I present much value). I think that if I am to have even bigger problems when I'm older, I prefer to die now because there's no way I can cope with the troubles of adult life. I'm sorry if this post is a little chaotic. Also, English is not my first language, so sorry if there are mistakes. Anyone have an idea on what I could do?

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I have to do somethingI feel like I have to do something because I’m going to explode if I don’t. How do I remove myself without hurting others. I feel like I am being squeezed in a hydraulic press. I can’t hardly breathe or even think.

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This abusive relationship is killing meHoly fuck this is so long. I'm sorry. I need to get these feelings out and tell somebody how I feel. I've been trapped in this abusive relationship for so long now. You torture me for the mistakes I've made in the past. I've blamed myself and allowed you to blame me for our fights. You justify the mean things you say and do to me by saying "it's your fault because you did X Y or Z". I'm done. You lied to me tonight. You were supposed to come over. I canceled my plans for you to help you with your homework and watch that stupid fucking movie for your class. You were supposed to be here at nine and you didn't return my texts or call for hours. By the time I got in touch with you, you were fucked up and it was almost 11. You apologized and said you're getting one more drink and then coming. FUCK YOU. You are a mean fucking person. You put me down so low. We are supposed to go to Austin but I'm so scared to go with you because last time we went, you escalated a fight to a point of no return and kicked me out of your sister's apartment and when things cooled down the next day (I had no where to fucking go when I left) you told me to go home and find a way back to dallas. Fuck you. Fuck your sister. Fuck your friends. I hope you relapse you selfish cunt. I hope your employers find out about your controlled substance charges and you never get the job you're going to school for. I hope you don't finish school. I hope you never move out of your dads house. I hope you make more mistakes and get in trouble again and the people you babysit for find out you've been to jail multiple times. I hope you go back to your meth selling ex and get stuck in that trap. You bring so much pain in my life. So much darkness. You have pushed me to the point of having manic attacks like when I was a child. You've brought out dark characteristics that I haven't seen in so long. You've fucked up my lip permanently by hitting me in the mouth. You've cracked my teeth. You've broken my window on my car. You've hurt my feelings. Live never thought I would say I'm in a relationship like this or that I'm abused or I get hit but fuck, you've made me not feel like a man. You've made me feel so small and embarrassed to be who I am. I hate myself. I want to end my life. I've said it so many times to myself after we fight, "just fucking do it". I've been too scared. I'm not going to do it now but I swear to god that when I find the opportunity I'm doing it. I'm driving my car off a bridge or shooting myself if I find a gun at work or hanging myself or overdosing when my grandma gets more meds. I don't care about the pain, I just want it to end and at this point it needs to happen.

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I'm about to go broke and homeless. I've lost hope in humanity.I'm sick and tired of reading stories about people with disposable income or making money that last me a year in a month. I can't work. My parents hate me. My girlfriend hates me. I have a rare ass panic disorder and nothing helps it. I've asked for help time and time again and everybody is perfectly okay watching me and millions of others wither away. We arent fucking animals. I drew the worst ticket in the lottery of life. Fuck it I'm out. I've tried. Hard. I've fought to make my way in the world and I fucking lost. Bye.

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My head is finally clear - Suicide is the path I am takingI am a 23 years old woman. I was born in the 90s. As a kid, I was happy, but since the beginning of my teenage years ( 2006- ), I don't know why, I started to feel completely disconnected with my life. I don't even want to blame the world anymore. I'm not saying this is anyone's fault. Somehow I am just not compatible with this and for the past 10 years I've been trying to figure it out, but I have found nothing worth living for and I am just sincerely and utterly bored with this game. This is not the place I said I always wanted to live in. And honestly, I don't know what's wrong. Except the fact that I have nothing in my life, only money. That is what my parents always considered important and I was just not that type of person who could use it to my advantage, I guess. I've never played the role of the rich kid, others do a better job at it. I simply just miss all the things that I don't have, which are the following : * time with my parents - whenever times I asked them for more time in my teenage years, they were busy. I went to a school where I had so much homework every day that I felt overwhelmed by it, I spent all my time inside and my social relationships went to the trash. When you stay isolated for a long time, you start to become awkward, even if you weren't awkward before. Besides awkwardness, I was also lonely, scared and quite depressed most of my teenage years. I remember staying at the window often times in the winter evenings, after I finished my homework, and looking outside in the darkness, waiting for my mother to come home. I felt an utter misery inside myself and I couldn't explain why, I just got used to that there is no escape. It kinda became normal after a while, it was my daily routine. * friends - as I explained, in my previous point, in my early teenage years friends kinda disappeared because of schoolwork, and then simply because I got so used to living on my own and to being so depressed that I didn't have any drive to connect with people at all. Somewhere in my late teen years I started connecting with people again and I even made friends, only to discover that the world has changed so much. People nowadays stay on their phones all their long, browse social media, are very superficial, do not care about having deep conversations or whatever, anything that I consider important. But instead they hold very dearly all those things that I consider completely irrelevant. So even though I had friends, I discovered I don't want them. The time spent with them is so meaningless and boring like the time I spend on my own. * body: yes, I have been alienated from my body since my early teen years. The fact that in this period I started to feel that no one loves me was probably connected with the dysfunctional relationship I started to have with my body. I had eating disorders all the time, I was obsessed and abusive toward my body all the time, thinking that if I would just change it then people would love me more, but no matter how much I changed it, I could never end up loving it, not even liking it. Living 10 years in a body you hate is quite a strange thing, let me tell you. I always got overwhelmed and paranoid when I was around people, because this is how you feel when you hate yourself. * college/career: well due to my depression I wasn't truly in the mindset to discover my passion, so I am in Medical school. I thought that I will end up liking it, but I didn't. I guess my depression doesn't truly allow me to like anything at all. Because I can't ever truly focus. In the back of my mind, there is always the idea of self-destruction. Everything else fades away compared to my strong desire to end my existence. * sanity : yes, I was a bright and balanced kid, but that is over since a long time. No matter how hard I try to pull myself together, I feel that my sanity is falling apart every single day. I did a quite good job for 10 years, most people wouldn't tell that I am suicidal or depressed at all, they know me as a joyful and energetic person, because I always overcompensated my real self with acting like the person I would like to be, the person that I once was. I am losing my sanity because of all the regrets that I have in this life. I could have been so different from how I turned out to be. And I don't truly know why. And it doesn't even matter anymore. I lost 10 years of my life and I feel so empty and so disappointed of myself. I am losing my sanity because I feel I was broken at a young age and no matter how much I tried for the last 10 years, I couldn't heal myself from that. I am losing my sanity because I had to abuse my body with sugar, caffeine, alcohol just to get by, just to turn off my brain for a while so that I don't kill myself instantly. The desire to live a healthy lifestyle comes from having a strong reason to be healthy and to live. Well, I don't have such a reason. I think I abused myself because I subconsciously didn't care if I die from an overdose. I am losing my sanity because I cannot connect with people anymore, because I feel like an alien in this world. I am losing my sanity because of all the enthusiasm I once had inside myself for this life, but that I can't feel anymore, because I am way too messed up now. I am losing my sanity because most of the ideas that I have are not compatible with this world and I'm not the type who adapts to survive. I tried to adapt and I didn't think that is worth it. Even when I played the game of life according to the rules, I have found out I don't want to play the game anymore. On Friday I went out with one of my friends to take a walk in the city. I was drinking a few beers and while I was walking and listening to my friend, a sudden realization hit me : I felt an extremely clear and strong reason to end this life. I didn't even feel any emotions attached to it, I just felt like my head is finally clear and I can finally see clearly what I got to do. I do not want to be a burden for anyone anymore. I know my parents wanted me to turn out differently and they would have liked a different child. Well, I would have wanted a different family also. It's all messed up. There's no point in continuing this anymore. As for my friends - well, they won't miss me so much. After some time they will forget. This is how it goes, I have seen it happening to others. Relationships aren't too deep nowadays anyway. So it won't matter much.

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Holy shit guys I need to keep up my fitness to still be attractive to the male variant cus I'm gay af Like fukin seriously I'd just eat all the cookies I want like no wtf eat proper meals dumb ass, you don't get a free pass cus u got pretty good genes and sorta attractive and lots of muscle. Fuk it ima start eating 3 meals a day with only healthy snacks and work out 😤 I swear to god I will fucking do this, I fucking swear to god.

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Everyone i know is insane So it all started with one of the streamers i watch. The chat is more of a friend group than the average twitch chat, so she(the streamer) was comfortable sharing that she likes pickles and peanut butter together. A few people also tried it and so did i. It was weirdly good, and i hate to admit that. Then tonight things escalated... her sister(idk if they’re actually related, they’re role-players) tweeted a vid of trying coke milk. And someone else tried it and said she was insane, so naturally she retaliated by eating vanilla ice cream and ketchup. Like a psycho. FUCKING VANILLA ICE CREAM AND KETCHUP. I hate the internet so god damn much. I dont know if anyone cares but the streamer is Kou Mariya and her sis is Sugar_VT. And theyre insane. And i love and hate it.

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Why do I have to be so lazy bruh like my phone is at 2% rn and I can’t make myself go upstairs and charge it smh

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WhyI fucked up... I tried to kill myself and now I’m sick to my stomach and can’t eat, I’ve lost most of my friends and it’s just making me wish I didn’t survive. The only person that is still there for me is my best friend and it’s weird bc I like her and she likes me and she doesn’t wanna date till high school but either way I’m glad she’s here bc I know I can’t lose her, she is the only person that will stick with me

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It’s my birthday So take some cake and stay a while 🍰

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How to get a credit card as a teen and build credit and it is legit and its AMAZING Hey! I’ve been using Step to send and receive money. Get $3 when you use my link. https://step.com/r/FGFFC

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Being rejected by your crush is sad... Bu, did it ever come out of your nose while drinking coke?

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Self consciousness So I’m 15, I’ve been told my how life how pretty I am and I’ve had quite a lot of guys like me but I physically can not help but feel ugly. I look at myself especially in pictures and I will literally worry about it for days and start crying and I have this heavy feeling. It’s truly affected my life it was so bad at a point that I was scared to even go out because I didn’t want people to see me and if I saw people around my age I would have trouble breathing and get really shaky and have tears in my eyes. I was doing ok for a bit but I’m afraid I’m falling back into that really bad hole. I know everyone’s a little self conscious but I now realize I’m a lot more than the average person and it truly has really affected my life and anytime I try to talk to people about it I get called out on fishing. I don’t know what to do and I need help but I don’t know if this is a legitimate problem or just something I have to deal with.

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I just asserted dominance on my dad I looked him straight in the eyes, grabbed an empty cardboard box out of his hand, took a bite, swallowed,handed back the box and left the room purely because he said I was to much of a coward to take anything from him

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hi help a guy just told me he would put me in a blender/leave me blended what does this mean

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Finally crossed over from “I don’t think I can do it” to “I’m ready to do it”Suicidal hanging that will result in decapitation. I’ve been doing a lot of research on this method because it seems to be a mostly painless, and very quick death. There’s a lovely lake in my neighborhood with a lot of pedestrian bridges. People have hung themselves from the bridges, and somehow the city still has not put any suicide prevention bars up yet. I’d only need to fall 6 feet for this to work, but the fall will be probably around 15 ft. I don’t want there to be any chance of this not working. I know women tend to not try as hard to kill themselves and end up surviving more often then men but god damn it, my head will be in the bottom of the lake and it will finally be over. Fuck the world.

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How 2020 ruined me Felt like reflecting on the past year so here's a list nobody asked for about the ways 2020 has bitten me in the ass: ~Overall less enjoyable school life that still hasn't gotten better ~My first & only girlfriend left me and it now feels awkward to talk to her ~Covid-19 causes me to get laid off from work in March with still zero sign of me getting back in (even though I'm in a small town that was at 0 cases within 90km for the longest time) ~Nobody in the area is fucking hiring ~Dad walked out of his job due to anger with his boss, now with his new job we can't afford the house and need to move out of town ~People were (and still are) so goddamn persistent that Covid is a hoax that cases in the area skyrocket ~Tried to start Twitch stream but my computer can barely run Task Manager let alone OBS ~Computer mouse? More like fucking broken lmao get rekt ~Seemingly everything I looked forward to either got cancelled, ruined, or was just a complete letdown ~Was recovering from diagnosed Major Depression. Keyword; 'Was' ~The reputations of some of my favourite YouTubers get fucked by grooming accusations ~Cancel Culture makes me want to knock someone in the head daily ~Got glasses, first thing I was told is that I look like an impersonator of Dwight from The Office ~Grades start to get harder to manage ~My social life starts to struggle, and I always have less energy to see anyone ~The girl who kept trying to manipulate me into a relationship attempted to manipulate me more and more often until I had to cut her out completely ~Graduation in half a year and I still have no plans, nor do I feel ready to fend for myself ~Enthusiasm? What enthusiasm? That dissapeared at the beginning of the year ~Truck insurance company unfairly bounced my bank account 2 times in a month, costing me $90 in overdraft fees ~Truck insurance also went up, despite my record being clean and promises it would go down. What the fuck? ~My trust gets majorly betrayed by friends in the most heartbreaking way possible ~Ace + Heteroromantic + Fetishism = CONFUSING MESS OF FEELINGS ~The aggressive/crybaby nature of the internet (cough cough Twitter) caused me to close myself to any political conversation with anyone and everyone ~Starting to question at what point alter-ego turns into false personality ~School's IT teacher gave me a free computer without the hard drive, just for a 'friend' to tell me it's 13 years old and more useless than the one I already have ~Sparked interest in Initial D, now I talk too much about the Toyota Sprinter AE86 Trueno and Eurobeat ~Trying my hardest to work up approx $1,150 for parts for a new PC before May which likely won't happen ~My closest two friends for years started dating and later decided to cut me off for things I didn't know I was doing, causing me to look for counseling ~Was going to be featured as the voice actor for the 2nd main character in a friend's indie game, later to find out that wasn't happening due to the previous reason ~Why do people suck to talk to in general now? ~And to top it all off the last time I drove my truck in December a rock put a fucking chip in my windshield Anyway how you guys doin? :-)

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"If you were really suicidal [...]"Am I not? Have I not told you all the methods and each fucking way they could fail, like a mantra, each and every one, found during hours upon hours of crying in front of my laptop screen. I have told you, over and over how done I am. I have told so many. But! I am a logical person! I know all that could go wrong if I were to try! That's the only reason I haven't killed myself yet. Because if I were to try, I know it'd fail and make my life even worse. I am not lucky enough to get any reprieve from this hell. Why should I? Why should I finally after years upon years of depression, anxiety, phobias and an abusive household, after all of that, after all the years of being told "you're a psycho." "you should be put in a ward" "just kill yourself" by my own parents- Why should I finally. Pass away? Not even the psychologists or people around me feel like I'm worth helping! "If you were really suicidal, we'd keep you stationary." Stationary, away from my parents who hate me. But why should you. You couldn't even answer to the mail I sent after spiking suicide intention due to wrong antidepressants. "I forgot to mention I was on holiday." I just wish dying was easier. I don't even think humanity can change and that people would start giving a damn about their peers. Why should they. They've probably been wronged just the same. But. As my psychologist said. "If you were really suicidal-"

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Sub kinda dead ima go See yall when its awake

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The only reason I haven't pulled the trigger is my gun has been taken from me. I want my G19 back so I can give myself the absolution I desire while not harming the ones I love.I don't want to leave a mess for my family and loved ones to find but I feel it it my right to take my own life. I seek only to minimize the impact on people that don't deserve to have to live with the consequences of my decision.

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How do people care so littleRight so the other day I electrocuted myself, classic metal in a plug socket trick, clearly nothing much happened as I’m still here to type this but what really bothered me is the situation. It was in the middle of a chemistry lesson, and few people even noticed let alone cared, people always say “plug sockets kill” so what if I had fucking died in front of them. Would they care then? And if your wondering the teacher didn’t even notice until one girl shouted at me for knocking her arm whilst I was you know, getting electrocuted.

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My attemptSaturday night, that's when it happened. The whole process was very impulsive, I had no last thoughts; nothing serious. I took maybe 9 or so anti seizure pills. The last thing I remember was laying on my stairs, looking at my cat and thinking how amazing he looks, how nature is beautiful. Suddenly I have obscured flashes of consciousness. I saw an IV needle in my arm, I saw my dad, with long hair and a purple plaid sweater. Darkness, then light again. The nurse walks in and informs my parents that they had found marijuana in my system, it was no surprise to them. For whatever reason, it didn't worry me. I'd say it's because I was about to fucking die. Suddenly I wake up in my bed, the familiar room in which I've spent so much time becoming who I am. This room Is me, and I am this room. The familiarity of such a setting, along with my mother and step dad around, gave me enough comfort to forget what had just happened. As I ate my breakfast, I convinced them to leave me alone, slowly coming to. By the time it had been noon, I was myself again. But this time, I was much happier. I was who I really wanted to be - Monday, September 18th, 2017

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Don't be too sad about your first breakup. Remember Sokka from Avatar: The Last Airbender. His first girlfriend turned into the moon. You'll be alright.

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I need dating advice okay so me and this girl have been flirting for a while but she keeps on sending random pictures of this guy and we exchange videos and pictures just like as a thing(sorta like snapping each other but I don't like snapping), But she also sends pictures of guys who snap her weirdly and like with tHiEr shirt off and shit (whenever we do this) but this guy is fairly attractive (no homo) and I'm not sure if I should be intimidated or something. I think we're flirting because we make jokes abt each other that are sexual in nature like I was asking her if she wanted to play among us and she responded with IM JERKING OFF and so I said "to me obv" and she responds with a yes.

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It’s getting pretty hard to get everything out of my head.I want to end my life really bad, it’s been getting a lot worse the last few months. I smoke a lot of weed, which is probably making me really depressed, or at least contributing. I had these feelings before I picked up the habit. I’m currently writing this in the bathroom at work, sobbing silently while someone’s dropping a massive deuce in the next stall over. That’s pretty funny, but anyways here’s the point: Ever since I was a young teenager (i’m currently 18), I’ve had no more motivation. I don’t do anything, I don’t want to do anything, I want nothing. I feel worthless and hard to love, I’m lazy as hell because I never want to do anything, which turns into me calling into work. I’m lucky that I can do that at my full time job and not have to pay rent, but now I have no absences left to take. So I’m crying in here, all pathetic like, at work, because I can’t call in anymore, and I can’t take the stress of being here while I’m feeling these feelings. I’ve skipped school all through G10-12, and now I call into work any chance I get. How come I’m such a scumbag? How come I can’t deal with a normal 9-5 Mon-Fri? That’s a normal thing to do. People have jobs and don’t complain. They don’t call in. How come I absolutely must? Why don’t I have the motivation to get through ONE DAY without doing this stupid shit. There’s nothing left to me. I’m literally a husk, no more life in me. I can’t stop myself, I have no control over my decisions. I want what I want, and I get what I want no matter what, and I feel like an absolute piece of shit, and a waste. I have for years. I used to think suicidal people just want attention and that they’re drama queens. Can you believe that? Now look at me lol. I’m an absolute mess. Maybe I deserve it for that. I’ve been to therapy. I have no identification to get prescribed anything right now, as I just moved in with my S/O not long ago from out-of-province. I’m literally in the bathroom pretending to be sick so I can go home. I’m pathetic. This is low. I don’t want to be this person. I’m stuck, feels like I have no where to go. I’m not going to end my life, at least not any time soon. I just want to talk to someone about this. I need it out of my head. I hope someone can at least relate. I can’t be alone. I don’t know what I would do if I was alone in feeling this. Tldr; I have no control over my actions, although I’m completely aware of what I’m doing. I have no self control, no motivation, and because of that I think low of myself and want to end my life. Hope someone can relate. I’ve been reading posts here and have found lots to relate to. Sorry if there’s any typos. Sorry for the ramble, hope it makes sense.

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Would it be wrong to duct tape a childs mouth shut This girl is 5 and has a grating voice and annoying laugh and wont shut up so im in the right, right

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A toast to being a depressed teen I'm stressed, I'm anxious, I'm depressed, I'm 13, I have shitty parents and a shitty little brother, and my fucking head hurts \*raises glass of mountain dew\* cheers to being a Depressed teen

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This is the link to my Youtube and SoundCloud, where I post music. Alot of the songs are recorded months ago so they're really bad. The bad ones are exclaim minute, ndd, and misconceptions. listen if you want to. [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCi5mLZGuJUawhuIt6IlfQdQ/videos) [Soundcloud](https://soundcloud.com/theshabomb)

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Who needs to hug or cuddle a pillow to sleep? And I you do, do you know the reason why are you doing that?

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I’m having another fkn anxiety attack and i forgot to take my meds earlier and idk what to do, fuck. I’m having another fkn anxiety attack. Shit. Like idek what to do and i’m kinda scared and i’m crying and shaking alot and going weak. I have tried almost everything to calm myself down and it’s not working and i’m paniking more, shit. Fuck i’m really sorry. I know i’m probably annoying the fudge out of people by posting this sh!t on here i’m sorry i just don’t know what to do and i’m kinda scared and idk how to calm down. Fuck i’m stupid i’m sorry. I’ll probably end up deleting this because i’m just fkn nervous for some reason now idk why i’m stupid as shit. How do i calm down or stop crying atleast. My mother is asleep and don’t want to wake her. Fuck. Idk what to do.

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The only thing stopping me from killing myself is the fear of death.I've always been a piece of shit that can't do anything right. I've failed my way through life and make everything harder for the people around me. I can tell even my parents at least subconsciously recognize this due to how the treat me compared to my sibling. I know I will die alone and afraid. I want to kill my self but I am afraid of death. Of the nothingness that awaits me.

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to a bacteria i must b a fucking cosmic horror fucking cthulu shit hope im not too scary for them

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just want to talk to a person before I passhi this is. A throwaway im drunk and have a quick means to pass to the other side and I'd appreciate some company lost my gf months ago and my best friends recently mostly cuz of my own fuck ups just want to chat for a bit before I go to the other side Maybe no one will even see this, that's ok too rhanks

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The funniest joke you’ll hear today Assuming you are healthy, your heart when working normally, acts sort of like a pump, or rather two pumps, you see your right heart expands to draw deoxygenated blood in from the body, and contracts to pump it out to the lungs to become oxygenated. And at the same time, your left heart draws in oxygenated blood from the lungs and then pumps it out to your stupid, misshapen body. Now sometimes, irregularities can occur that prevent your heart from pumping properly. "congestive heart failure", is an interesting one. Say, your heart loses some of its contractile force due to high blood pressure, for example, this will result in the pooling of blood in your left heart, or left ventricle chamber, and in response to this, the cells in your left ventricle will enlarge to push against the higher circulatory resistance caused by the increase in blood pressure, which is a great solution, but only in the short term. Much like your parents' decision to try to save their marriage by having, well, you. But because of these enlarged cells, the left ventricle chamber then becomes much smaller, resulting in less blood being able to fill into it and because the blood coming into the left ventricle has nowhere to go, it begins to back up into the lungs and from there, because it's all a cycle, it'll back up into the right heart and then, you've got congestive heart failure on your hands. Not \*weird swallow\* unlike, how the incessant, heated disagreements between your timeworn mother and father is also, on your hands. The name "congestive" heart failure, though, is apt because fluid then leaks into your alveolar air spaces making it difficult to breathe, and with all this, blood pressure increases, yet again, and the original hypertrophy of muscle cells in your left ventricle is no longer a help, and since the contractile force of your heart has decreased, it certainly can't pump against the new, much higher resistance and because of that, your body, in response to the heart not pumping sufficient blood, thinks: "Well gee golly, ha, I mustn't have enough fluid!" so it tells your kidneys then, to return any liquid you take in, meaning you'll retain a lot more water, which has to go somewhere, so it leaks into your legs, abdomen, and all over the body, and can result in the gaining of 2-3 pounds, per day! Which, as you can imagine, will cause rapid accumulation of total body weight and after just one month, someone afflicted by this disease could amass up to 100 extra pounds! There is effectively no way that a human being could gain weight at this rate, by which any other mechanism. And that is why, it seems as though it is the only rational explanation as to what must be happening to your mom.

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Quarantine has been really long. Before quarantine started i hadn't even met my Anthro Husky gf, now im going to marry her. Wow. For me it started some time around march 20th, and i met her on march 28th. So she's been with me for almost all of quarantine.

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I did the impossible boys (and not boys) I typed in my password wrong, then deleted just the wrong part and typed the rest of it in. I feel more accomplished than ever before.

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On a break with my girlfriendMy already shaky mental health is now really bad after me and my girlfriend decided to go on a break. I miss her so much. The only reason why I’m not cutting myself right now is because I know she’d be disappointed/sad if I did that. I want to die really badly (although I know I’m not actually going to do anything about it). Usually whenever Im sad I’d talk to her but I can’t now because I don’t want it to seem like I’m emotionally manipulating her into getting back together with me, so now I don’t really have anyone to talk to

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My friend touched a girl's tities My friend ThrGoldenP1gg touched a girl's tities on purpose and still has reddit.

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I was about to do it...I just got back home. Sitting on the couch thinking. I woke up this morning and decided to skip on heading to my classes. I lied in bed for a while and then sat around the house not doing anything. I eventually wrote out my suicide note and got in the car to head to the building where I used to hang out on the rooftop with some friends. I left my note in the car and took the elevator to the top. I got in the stairwell with the rooftop access and, for the first time ever, the door leading to the roof was locked. Not knowing what to do, I turned back around and headed back home. I sat in my car for a while thinking of other ways I could do it. But now I'm just back home, lying on the couch, doing nothing.

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I guess y'all are right, maybe I am the problem.am i not their son? they (my parents) abused me when I do something that I think is right and it hurts me a lot. i think, now they don't care about me anymore. can I give up? give up on life? can i die now? im tired of this ;3

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i think i'm done with Shy Away lyricposting now just gonna enjoy the song now and post "normal" things

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I can’t believe I have to leave this out here... SUPER STRAIGHT ISN’T A SEXUALITY IT’S A PREFERENCE, 🙄STOP MOCKING THE ENTIRE LGBTQIA+ COMMUNITY WITH YOUR BULL. 😒 Plus your “flag” has PH colours...🤭

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Wish me luck bois A little context my whole family were kinda overconfident when handling the virus so im pretty sure were infectied because they had the bright idea to meet in person a familly member who has the virus in person without masks Hope I survive this

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The surprising part is the staggering depth of pain a person can experience.Welp, I did it again. Once again I've managed to place myself squarely in a position or true, honest, complete solitude. Actual aloneness. It's something I've experienced before. I was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago, I don't have it any more but at the time my doctors told me I was going to die soon. I was only 17 and not emotionally ready for the diagnosis or the prognosis. In response I shut out the world and didn't speak to another human for over a year. It was horrific and traumatizing, I'd told myself I'd never let my self isolating tendencies get so bad again. That I'd never allow myself to be alone again. Turns out it's a bit unavoidable when you're a disgusting inept leech like me. I spent a year or so recently, holed up in my room working from home and doing some odd home repair type jobs for ends meet. the majority of my friends were online. I made a mistake then, because I met someone incredibly special and I learned what it's actually like to have someone close to you. I didn't grow up with a good family you can draw your own conclusions as to how bad it was and despite the fact that I was fully in my mid twenties by the time I met this person I'd really never experienced actual real closeness. Well I ruined that, and whatever other internet friends I had because, plainly, it was the internet and I'd found some prospects in real life.so I packed my bags and moved cross country with someone new only to find myself in an extremely emotionally abusive relationship that has now deadened into me not leaving because I've got nowhere to go and them not telling me to leave because I have no idea. At first I was surprised but pretty resilient to them telling me they hated me, and to kill myself, and whatever other horrible thing they could think of. But it's worn me down and honestly they're not really wrong. They don't mean it fully I think, at least most of the time. I think it's a facade, something they think is mildly humorous that they use defensively to avoid ever having a genuine conversation."edgy humor" Which I suppose makes things simpler considering how self deluded they are about who I am and the things I do. Not to put too much emphasis on them, understand that they are only a tiny piece to a large picture. The reality is, I'm 26 now, I'm old, Ive got no friends or family, I've got no one and nothing, and I think I deserve it. I think considering this has been most of what I've experienced in my life, this solitude and lonesomeness coupled with the fact that I can't find regular work due to a huge collaiope of beurocratic bullshit that would make you suspect a government conspiracy against me makes me think that the only thing that's left to do is just kill myself. Even in the event I do manage to get work so I can afford to leave this place it's not like it would be better, I'd just be grinding my skin off bit by bit at the slave mills so I can afford to get into debt. It's hard to articulate how much it hurts and how little I can do about it. I just sit here as the days whiz by occasionally crying or punching a wall until.my knuckles bleed. For years I knew it would come to this but I can feel now that it's unavoidable. I really just have to kill myself so I can stop fucking up and stop hurting people and stop leeching and stop feeling this unimaginable void of pain drowning me every second of every day. I used to think I'd be a writer, I can conceive of great beauty and even when I was very young I enjoyed the process. That's gone now, I hope whoever finds the short stories and poetry I've written has heart enough to destroy them instead of parading them around as one last testament to the fact of my failure as a human. I'm sorry this is so rambling I'm just exhausted, I hate to complain about my life as though I have things any worse than anyone else. I don't want to feel sorry for myself and to a large extent I don't, but if I were to list all the things that fuck me up and detract from my ability to interact with other people properly it would be a long one. If my life is half way over, or nearly so, there's not enough time left to undo the damage I've done. It's over. I really just have to do this.

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guys what just happened so here's what happened, I woke up and checked my phone as usual. I had a text from my gf asking if my bird stepped on my keyboard due to my poor spelling in my last message. I didn't remember what my last message was so I checked it and it was supposed to say good night and I love you. it was spelled very bad. this wouldn't be a problem, except for the fact that the message was sent an HOUR AFTER I WENT TO SLEEP. guys I fucking sleep texted how the fuck did that happen I'm genuinely scared what if i text someone other than my gf or what if I text my gf something bad I dont know what to do ashhwbahsbfahwsfbajkbfrhhjasgfhjaesrgbhjfsgbewjhkrfbgjhe

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I’m done I’m not worthy of lifeForget it

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Planning on ending itI'm not sure whether or not I want to end it but I've been thinking about it lately. But I've been having issues with my mother which stem from problems that I created with my absence from school. I missed work but I've passed my assignments that's what I thought was more important as that affected my final grade more, it comes from problems as the way she talks to me calling me useless, a nobody in future and overly just very hurtful words. I see why she gets angry but still, I have grown a deep hatred towards her in fact almost everybody in my life except my friends, times were much more simple when I was younger I'm 17 so this time is the most important as I have my life ahead of me yada yada. I kept my emotions hidden, to be honest, these thoughts only recently arose so don't know why I'm here I'm just venting out my emotions. Think what she said was that "I would be a nobody in the future..." and I agree with her I get decent grades but I don't know what I want to do in the future and if I'm that much of a burden to her I think she should just let me go. I already made a plan that was to take a bunch of anti depressants and jump off a suicide bridge and to watch the night sky one last time. This is only an idea but if things get worst I might have to consider doing it. My only wish is if I had a chance to give my organs to people more deserving I will but I know I'll be detained.

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Do you guys think it's bad or weird to get a blowjob from another dude just for the fuck of it? Like why not? Long story short I'm a straight dude who's not having too much luck with the ladies right now. I have a good friend tho, he's gay and has kinda had a open crush on me since I've known him He uh... Offered to give me a BJ as a joke but I think he was hinting that he was actually pretty serious about it. And like... I'm kind of thinking to myself.... why not? I mean. A blowjob is a blowjob. I can just say no homo and be done with it right? Right...?

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I learned something today that will change redditor forever. Today I learned that we technically never touch anything becausr of atoms. So when we lose our virginity, we are not technically losing it since the 2 parts never touches each other. Redditors can now "lose" their virginity without quitting reddit.

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Probably goodbyeHi there I wish I didn't have to make a separate post for this but idk what to do. My parents are kicking me out on a few days. I have no job,my family is mostly jank,I have no where to go, and horrible social anxiety (autism and whatnot,never posted about that online before but whatever). Once it happens I'm probably just going to pack up some stuff,bring pills leave and die. If that happens then goodbye.

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Aight so here’s my question Hey... GOD! If being gay is so wrong why do dudes have a G spot in their asshole? Outsmarted god B)

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is it just me or I have always loved everything to do with rain. kissing in the rain, laying in the rain, crying in the rain, swimming in the rain and like everything romantic in the rain. is it just a teen thing?

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Almost jumped off the 31st floor.Hey guys I really need to let this out and this seemed like the most appropriate sub for it It was my boyfriend's birthday last night, some of his friends from his home town came down to the city and we went on a pub crawl with roughly 10 mates. Everyone was pretty drunk or high, and I just felt this wave of doom spread over me. I was quite all night which is very unlike me because i am usually a very loud, enthusiastic person. Everyone was having a great time and because i didnt want to bring anyone else down i acted like i was okay and went along with it. My 3 best friends kept telling me how much they loved me and cared for me, and would keep checking on me which made me feel loved. Fast forward to the early hours of the morning, we went back to the apartment i booked for us all to stay. I decided it was a great idea to stand on the balcony, 31 floors above ground and stare at the sky. I was out there for a long time, and the only thing running through my mind was to jump off. As soon as i was about to stand on the chair and i guess jump, my boyfriend came outside and stood with me. He put his arm around me in the cold and just stood there. After 5 minutes, he turned around to me and told me he loved me (this is the first time he has said that to me since we've been together) and i said it back. He then went on about how much i mean to him etc and i started crying. I hugged him and told me i loved him, but then the mood changed because one of our mates had to leave. Later on, everyone kinda just crashed everywhere and my boyfriend's best friend ended up sleeping next to my boyf, leaving me to sleep on the very small couch. I was really mentally unstable so i had a joint and took double of my medication and slept. The next morning everything was fine and we all left all happy n shit But now im sitting in my car, almost angry at myself for not just jumping off. The problem is though, that i know how much i am loved and how much I'm worth. I know life is worth it, i know suicide is not the answer But i want to die. I KNOW that i will be missed, i have the best friends, and an even better family, and a caring boyfriend, i know how much it'll affect all of them and specially me. But i really just want to fucking die. I'm very tempted to overdose on insulin tonight. Im sorry. TL:DR: almost jumped off a building last night, regretting my decision to stay alive.

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Figuring out how to get this shit over with.Let it be known in the hypothetical police investigation "Fuck you, you and you. I had absolutely fucking nothing to live for. Penis.

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All speech should never be censored Doesn’t matter how messed up or wrong it is, it is their and our right to say what we want when we want. As long as nobody is being harassed or assaulted, you can say whatever you want

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Hopeless.Nothing I’ve done helps me feel better. Things seem eerie and dark and endless, and I’m thinking about killing myself probably 100 times a day. It’s all I can seem to think clearly about, it’s the only thing that seems real or possible. It’s all I want. I think of all the other things I used to want and it all seems so pointless. There’s no joy or relief to be found in anything but sleep, and I can’t even do that for more than an hour at a time. Gaming, sometimes, when I can throw myself into a different life. I used to vent through art, or writing, but I have no desire for either anymore. I used to read all the time, but I can’t focus on anything anymore for more than a minute. Life these days feels like it’s saturated in darkness. I mentioned something the other day to my mom. I said that most of the people in our family are depressive, and she said it’s just the blues. I felt offended, but? Maybe it’s true. Because I don’t even cry. It’s easy to step out of my room and be the person that everyone thinks I am. I smile and joke and laugh and clean and cook and play with the dogs and then when I have space I just sit and wait to find the courage to just end it. Do people who aren’t depressed struggle like this? Do you think about suicide this much? I hear that sometimes it’s okay, because thinking about it is just a coping mechanism. I don’t know.

suicide

Someone just randomly DMed me a picture I posted yesterday of myself, edited as a girl. This is why DMs on Reddit scare me. If it’s not a pedo, a dude asking for pictures of thighs, a bot, or a douche, it’s a someone sending a picture of you as a girl. Come on, guys. Wtf even is this anymore?

non-suicide

Can anyone talk me into telling my teacher about my suicidal thoughts?Background info: •I’ve been suicidal for a few years •I’m not that close to my parents so he’d be my most trusted adult atm •I’m really anxious, and I guess I need some convincing

suicide

Goodnight bois I shall dream of anthro husky gf's warmth and love

non-suicide

relatable lyrics pt. 2: "be kind to me, oh can't you see? im in misery." "its cold" "ive been feeling tired"

non-suicide

Bored in the car on my way back from snowboarding And bored as hell! yaaay. Anyone wanna talk?

non-suicide

every time i make a mistake, he takes it out on my momi am 15m, a very flawed person, and to be frank, i fuck up all the time. specifically my life skills are very underdeveloped because of how my parents raised me. my dad blames this on me playing video games and whenever i make a mistake usually related to life or any small thing in particular, he’ll take it out on my mom. he’ll yell and scream, threaten to kick her out or smash my things if hes super angry, but most hurtfully he’ll degrade my mom, brother, and me. this led to me and my brother having depressingly low self-esteem and self-worth, leading to me becoming a cutter and my brother developing an eating disorder. i want to end my life often so that my mom doesnt get verbally abused... i’m too socially awkward to go anywhere in life anyways, and I’ve done everything I’ve wanted to do (by the age of 15 believe it or not).

suicide

Idk what to put here I started wearing my hood and just not participating in class at all not talking to anybody just being the “quiet kid” and since then my science teacher has started like calling me sir and shit and being like overly nice to me I think he thinks I’m gonna be a school shooter im not

non-suicide

In an alternate timeline I'd make a wonderful mad scientist. Too bad I don't have a brain in this timeline. :(

non-suicide

I don't see the point in living anymore.I was diagnosed with clinical depression two years ago after I failed at killing myself (I was 17 at the time), and went through the standard myriad of medications and therapy, none of which worked. The past two years have been spent trying to distract myself from reality, usually unsuccessfully. Despite still being generally unhappy, I had managed to hold onto my convictions and keep a vague hope that the future would be better up until last month. Since then I've started reading about nihilism and questioning if there's even a point to continue living. Nothing that previously mattered to me does anymore. I used to care about people, at least in theory, and I was a vegetarian and supported animal rights. Now it all seems futile since everything will die anyway. I've found myself completely ambivalent to the suffering and death of others. I've gone from complete pacifism to wanting to inflict harm on my college roommates, where I was able to tolerate them previously. I can't even enjoy my old methods of escape anymore. I guess me typing this out means at least a part of me wants to not die, or just be proven wrong that suicide is the best option. But I don't see how it isn't. I keep coming back to wanting to not exist, to just escape from this shitty reality. Beyond that, I fail to see a purpose in life. I refuse to delude myself into thinking we have a creator, and as such we lack a specific design. Without that, and knowing everything will at some point in the future cease to exist, all we have is this miserable and brief life where we are under constant control from other, more powerful people. People powerful enough to decide for me that I don't have enough control over my own life to end it. That seems ludicrous to me. It feels like if I don't even have that right, I'll always be under somebody else's control. This line of thought always ends with me just wanting to escape it all through death. While I've been wasting my time contemplating existence, I've had real life bearing down on me. My grades have slipped to just barely passing, and I have a lengthy term paper due next week I haven't started and I have no idea how to finish. My parents are pressuring me to get a summer job, despite me doubting I'm hirable, and I have no idea how I'll pass my exams. I hate my college, but I don't think I have the grades to transfer out, and have missed the application deadlines for next fall. Best case scenario, I manage to leave the country by transferring to a Canadian university next spring, but I doubt it will happen. I'm assuming I'll be stuck in my birth state which I completely loathe. I have nothing to look forward to except the next time I can get drunk.

suicide

Been feeling bad about myself, had to get an ego boost by curb stomping my 12 year old sister at chess The amount of power I feel forcing a queen blunder in 4 turns is amazing

non-suicide