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crabcanon

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Tangled Hierarchy like those of Escher and Godel, an intellectual construction which

reminds me, in ways I cannot express, of the beautiful many-voiced fugue of the human

mind. And that is why in my book the three strands of Godel, Escher, and Bach are

woven into an Eternal Golden Braid.

DIALOGUE XXI: Six-Part Ricercar

Achilles has brought his cello to the Crab's residence, to engage in an evening of

chamber music with the Crab and Tortoise. He has been shown into the music

room by his host the Crab, who is momentarily absent, having gone to meet their

mutual friend the Tortoise at the door. The room is filled with all sorts of electronic

equipment-phonographs in various states of array and disarray, television screens

attached to typewriters, and other quite improbable-looking pieces of apparatus.

Nestled amongst all this high-powered gadgetry sits a humble radio. Since the

radio is the only thing in the room which Achilles knows how to use, he walks over

to it, and, a little furtively, flicks the dial and f nds he has tuned into a panel

discussion by six learned scholars on free will and determinism. He listens briefly

and then, a little scornfully, flicks it off.

Achilles: I can get along very well without such a program. After all, it's clear to anyone

who's ever thought about it that-I mean, it's not a very difficult matter to resolve, once

you understand how-or rather, conceptually, one can clear up the whole thing by

thinking of, or at least imagining a situation where ... Hmmm ... I thought it was quite

clear in my mind. Maybe I could benefit from listening to that show, after all...

(Enter the Tortoise, carrying his violin.)

Well, well, if it isn't our fiddler. Have you been practicing faithfully this week, Mr. T?

I myself have been playing the cello part in the Trio Sonata from the Musical Offering

for at least two hours a day. It's a strict regimen, but it pays off.

Tortoise: I can get along very well without such a program. I find that a moment here, a

moment there keeps me fit for fiddling.

Achilles: Oh, lucky you. I wish it came so easily to me. Well, where is our host?

Tortoise: I think he's just gone to fetch his flute. Here he comes.

(Enter the Crab, carrying his flute.)

Achilles: Oh, Mr. Crab, in my ardent practicing of the Trio Sonata this past week, all

sorts of images bubbled into my mind: jolly gobbling bumblebees, melancholy

buzzing turkeys, and a raft of others. Isn't it wonderful, what power music has?

Crab: I can get along very well without such a program. To my mind.

Achilles, there is no music purer than the Musical Offering.

Tortoise: You can't be serious, Achilles. The Musical Offering isn't programmatic music!

Achilles: Well, I like animals, even if you two stuffy ones disapprove.

Crab: I don't think we are so stuffy, Achilles. Let's just say that you hear music in 'your

own special way.

Tortoise: Shall we sit down and play?

Crab: I was hoping that a pianist friend of mine would turn up and play continuo. I've

been wanting you to meet him, Achilles, for a long time. Unfortunately, it appears

that he may not make it. So let's just go ahead with the three of us. That's plenty for a

trio sonata.

Achilles: Before we start, I just was wondering, Mr. Crab-what are all these pieces of

equipment, which you have in here?

Crab: Well, mostly they are just odds and ends-bits and pieces of old broken

phonographs. Only a few souvenirs (nervously tapping the buttons), a few souvenirs

of-of the TC-battles in which I have distinguished myself. Those keyboards attached

to television screens, however, are my new toys. I have fifteen of them around here.

They are a new kind of computer, a very small, very flexible type of computer quite

an advance over the previous types available. Few others seem to be quite as

enthusiastic about them as I am, but I have faith that they will catch on in time.

Achilles: Do they have a special name?

Crab: Yes; they are called "smart-stupids", since they are so flexible, and have the

potential to be either smart or stupid, depending on how skillfully they are instructed.

Achilles: Do you mean you think they could actually become smart like, say, a human

being?

Crab: I would not balk at saying so-provided, of course, that someone sufficiently versed

in the art of instructing smart-stupids would make the effort. Sadly, I am not

personally acquainted with anyone who is a true virtuoso. To be sure, there is one

expert abroad in the land, an individual of great renown-and nothing would please me

more than a visit by him, so that I could appreciate what true skill on the smart-stupid

is; but he has never come, and I wonder if I shall ever have that pleasure.

Tortoise: It would be very interesting to play chess against a well-instructed smart-stupid.

Crab: An extremely intriguing idea. That would be a wonderful mark of skill, to program

a smart-stupid to play a good game of chess. Even more interesting-but incredibly

complicated-would be to instruct a smart-stupid sufficiently that it could hold its own

in a conversation. It might give the impression that it was just another person!

Achilles: Curious that this should come up, for I just heard a snatch of a discussion on

free will and determinism, and it set me to thinking about such questions once more. I

don't mind admitting that, as I pondered the idea, my thoughts got more and more

tangled, and in the end I really didn't know what I thought. But this idea of a smart-

stupid that could converse with you ... it boggles the mind. I mean,