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t3_1e64ez | offmychest | Cheated with a girl... | I went hiking with a friend; I had a huge crush on her, but she was in a(n unhappy) relationship. We got to the top of this mountain and sat down on the cliff. At this point I had had a softie since we got out of the car, but that was soon to change. Within minutes I had a raging boner. Then our school's soccer team decided to show up. I knew a lot of the girls on there so the least I could do was knowledge their presence. They asked me to be in one of their (many) team pictures. I managed to get a look at one REALLY ugly girl on there and it was kind of oft again. Almost really awkward. It became awkward when the girl I was with noticed it. Then we made out, and then I lost my virginity. | Went hiking with a girl who was not single, but I had a crush on her. Soccer team showed up. I fucked the girl later that night. |
t3_50g2lm | relationships | Myself (24/m) and my new Asst. Manager (40+/f) | Alright, so about a month and a half ago, a new assistant manager was hired at my job and spent her first week managing my usual shift. For the next 4 evenings, I'd find my sexual frustration in an absolute uproar.
I'm one of the few single men working here, I like to think I'm handsome, but I'm not exactly a flirt. Hell, I'm basically celibate (it's been 5 years). But 5 years of averting obvious hints can make for irritable loins and all of that comes to surface when your MILF of a manager is constantly rubbing her somewhat overexposed body against you just to grab a pen you could've handed her... regularly.
By the end of her first week, shed already told me about her man whom of which she talks to on the phone regularly but never sees because he lives in another state. Really, she came out of nowhere and informed of this when we were in the managers office alone.
She's caught me taking glances at her chest tattoo and didn't seem to mind. She's always picking me to do things for her around the store. She's always complimenting me and is just generally more friendly towards me than most others.
The problem is, as stated above, I'm basically celibate and love to play oblivious. I'm so used to not giving in to a woman's flirts that I do it subconsciously but there are women put there that I want and this is holding me back. So I'm here, on the beloved Reddit, asking my fellow bros and ever enlightening sisters to tell me what I need to do to give the women the green light. How can I, within professional means, tell my manager that I'm totally open to having an affair with her...?
I have work in about 12 hours and she's working today. Thanks in advance! | My new manager is a cougar who's throwing strong sexually suggestive waves my way and I need help finding a "professional" way to let her know I'm totally open to the idea of us fking. Thanks. |
t3_12bilw | relationships | Help!! I(21f) am feeling neglected by my SO(22m), am i over reacting? | We have been together for about 2 years and are very serious about eachother(plan to get married). Everything is usually wonderful with him we are very much in love and happy, but I have started noticing these new habits of his and it is starting to bother me..We do not live together and only see eachother on the weekends for a couple of hours because of our school/work schedules. When we are together everything is fine but during the week is a different story. He used to text me all the time and also call me whenever he could and he has basically completely stopped doing that. He could go an entire day without calling me and I feel like I am really lacking attention from him. I tried explaining it to him and he does not seem to think it's a big deal and always blows me off.(also he has plenty of time during the day to call/text me so having no time is not an excuse). I feel like he just does'nt even want to talk to me or care most of the time. I'm just a little confused and don't really know what to do. | SO(22m) is not giving me(21f)the attention I feel I need throughout the week when we do not see eachother and it hurts me. Over reacting? |
t3_22hz1s | relationships | Me [17 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] just ended our brief relationship before becoming too serious due to us splitting apart next year. | So last week my girlfriend of over a month broke things off with me. She has been really stressed out with family health and getting into schools and had come to the realization that our relationship had an expiry date. She had done long distance with an ex and knows it's something she can't and won't do again. We won't be going to the same school next year and I'll be away for much of the summer. She told me she felt bad and guilty about how this wasn't because I did anything wrong. And how she couldn't give all of herself to this and get too serious knowing we had an expiry date in the back of her mind. Were both the same in that were rather mature and serious. I said I was ok being the one more invested in the relationship but she told me that wasn't fair to either of us. So in the end it was sort of her decision but I'm entirely understanding and don't feel badly towards her, even if I had hoped to keep going till the end of our time together.
We've had a thing for eachother since primary school and had been dating since January. So where do I take it from here? It's not like we ended with any hard feelings and I don't know how to proceed. What would you recommend in how to proceed? I really like this girl and have for nearly the majority of my life. I know it's a little naive to think well meet again but right now I'd like to see that happen, not that any of us are silly enough to change our future plans to do so. | girlfriend and I broke up because she doesn't want to do long distance again and so well have to split at the end of HS. She can't give all of herself knowing we'd have an expiry date. |
t3_4e1oq8 | pettyrevenge | Walmart x Old Lady | I usually head to Walmart during my days off in order to get groceries for the week, or a few snacks for the weekend. So, I grab my cart and head inside for my weekly adventure.
I pick up all of my items, and put them in my cart. Having enough of the Walmart view, I head to the cashier lane and patiently wait for my turn. Once I'm able too, I place my items on the track and stand beside MY CART for my turn to pay.
As I'm waiting, an old lady comes up behind me with about three or four items in hand. So I smile and put a bar to separate my groceries from hers. She doesn't acknowledge me in any form, so I turn back to wait. She then proceeds to put HER items in my MY CART.
Clearly she's senile, or doesn't understand I still plan on using my cart after I'm done to bring all those bags to my car. So I smile and look at her and politely say "I'm sorry I still plan on using it" but the old bag doesn't acknowledge me at all. She doesn't even look up from her magazine rack eye-screwing.
So at this point, I'm getting annoyed. I tell the cashier I'll be right back and head over to the entrance to grab a brand new cart. As I head back to my lane, I purposely SMASH my cart into my now older cart. This finally gets her attention. She frowns at me and proceeds to tell me she's old and needs the cart and I clearly don't. I choose the approach of ignoring her completely. | Old lady stole my cart in Walmart and ignores me, so I took a new one and banged it into her. |
t3_hqhpm | AskReddit | Parents won't help, no job, no money, dying | So I recently moved back for the summer from college and have been desperately trying to find a job, but have had zero luck. My parents refuse to give me any money or allow me to stay at "THEIR" house now so I've been staying at a friend's apartment. I have 44 cents and have nothing really but some clothes and a laptop. I was thinking of selling my laptop for cash, but that would make it nearly impossible to apply for jobs because I don't even have gas money.
I'm in desperate need of help of some sort, but there seems to me nothing I can do. I can't get a loan because I need a cosigner and I can't get a credit card because I have no credit. Don't tell me "oh you just need to try harder to find a job" because I do nothing but sit around and apply to every single possible place of employment all day everyday.
I tried to ask my college that I just transferred to if I could register for summer classes so as to get stafford loans, but they told me I have to wait until the fall. I am freaking out as to what I am supposed to do to even eat now. | Parents and everyone are dicks and will not help me financially. Cannot find a job. No money. Need Help. Just suggestions. |
t3_2wcqv5 | Parenting | My kid is picking up on bad habits from a friend with a delay. Really need some help. | Background- My very good friend and I have kids who are 2 years old but 5 months apart. My little one started talking early. She was well over 100 words before her first birthday and now, she's talking in 8 and 9 word sentences. My friend's little one has a delay. They just started with early intervention and are taking all the appropriate steps.
The problem- My daughter is picking up on HORRIBLE habits. She is mimicking her little friend's ( for lack of a better word) "baby talk" . At first my daughter would stop as soon as we came home... but now it takes longer. This morning I took her to a play date with a new friend who's daughter is at the same speech level and my kid talked baby talk to try and communicate with her.
I'm frustrated and I need advice on how to handle this. What do I say to my child? Not letting her hang out with the friend is NOT an option. This is a dear friend of mine. | My kid hangs out with a kid with a delay, how do help her from picking up bad habits/regressing??? |
t3_25hkaj | relationships | Co-Worker Couple [both 25]. I witnessed her cheating on him while he was out of town. | Last Saturday I was at a bar with some buddies. I saw the receptionist from my office there, I went up to her and said hi. Later, on the dance floor, I see her making out with a dude that is not her boyfriend. She leaves with him in a cab.
Her BF who I also work with was out of town. I'm not really *friends* with him, but I'm friendly and we play basketball together sometimes.
I know that the right thing to do would probably be to tell him what I saw, but I don't want my name attached to whatever office drama ensues, or to possibly get a bad reputation.
What should I do with this info? Is there a way to let him know cleanly? | Saw my co-worker cheating on my other co-worker at a bar. Don't know if I should tell the bf. |
t3_1g7ye6 | relationship_advice | Me [16/m] is trying to ask out a girl [18/f] out. Not sure how to approach. | I apologize in advance if I'm doing something wrong; new to this reddit stuff.
We met very recently. We hit it off pretty well. We have talked a lot during the time we've known each other (4 months) and we share many similar interests and traits. I feel that we are completely compatible with each other. What seems hard for us is the age difference between us and the time we get to interact with each other. Sure we've talked a lot but it's only when we're both on facebook and she doesn't have a cell phone. We've been able to hang out a couple of times but that's pretty much aware. I've dropped a couple of hints and she KNOWS I like her and I have feelings for her. But I'm not sure if she's at all interested. I'm mature about the matter but at this point I'm confused and unsure what to do. | 16 year old me likes 18 year old girl. Wants to ask her out but doesn't think she's interested. Age difference and time we get to interact with each other is somewhat tough. Help? |
t3_3fffno | relationships | I [18 M] want to break up with my Girlfriend [17 F] of a year and a half, but I still love her. | Hey /r/relationships! I love this subreddit and the people on it so I was hoping you guys could give me some advice.
So I've been with my girlfriend for about a year and a half now and everything is great except for one thing; I want to break up with her. The issue is that I don't really have a reason why. We get along (most of the time) and I think I still love her but something feels off. She gets frustrated easily which leads to anger by which she takes it out on me.
Example: the bus leaves early so she misses it, but another one is in 10 minutes. She then comes to my house super angry and upset and is super irritable.
I know I'm flawed too. I don't get angry easily but when I do I get really really angry (not to the point of abuse in any way) just yelling and "snapping back". So, we both have our issues. But with school coming up she gets stressed around this time of year. Last school year she was almost intolerable with her bad mood, yet I still loved her. But now with school coming up I don't know what to do; I'm scared that she will be like this again but we also have our moments of extreme happiness with eachother. I still love her but something is telling me to break up with her but I don't know what!
Have you guys ever been in a situation where you're not sure whether to break up with someone or not? Do you guys think we should? please help /r/ relationships! | Don't know why I want to break up with GF because I still very much love her, but I do. Please help! |
t3_3io6dh | tifu | TIFU by throwing a centipede out of my window | Happened just now. It's around 3 am, and I'm doing uni work for a deadline I'm unlikely to make. Just when I hit the lowest point of my night with a terrible mix of despair and stress, I look around my room. I'm still not sure if I'm happy or not about that decision, because what I saw was the mother fucking queen of all centipedes crawling from underneath my bed and coming at me with an alarming speed. Now I'm usually not too terrified of insects, but this fucker was absolutely massive, so my sleep deprived brain immediately kicks into fight or flight mode. I grab the nearest cup, hoping it's big enough and trap the beast underneath.
So now I'm considering my options. There's no way I'm killing this thing because, again, the fucker is huge. I'm pretty sure I'd throw up if it made a crunching noise and there'd be a mess. So out of the window he goes. There's one problem with that. In front of my only window is a huge desk, and because I'm short I can't reach it without some acrobatics. I hop on the desk and open the window, slide a sheet of paper under the cup (leaving a smear that looks like one or more centipede legs) and start climbing the desk again. However, during this process my sheet of paper slips a little bit. At this point, I'm with one leg on my desk trying to not knock over a lamp, one dangling in the air, one hand holding the paper, and one holding the cup. I watch in horror as the monster centipede sees its chance and crawls out onto my arm, and one full body flail later I smash my ribs into my desk while I hear the sound of something breaking on the pavement outside. The centipede is no longer on my arm, and I don't see it, but I keep feeling itches everywhere and dear god I hope it went with the cup. | Found a massive centipede, tried to throw it out of my window, body slammed my desk, lost a brave cup in the process, centipede may or may not still be here. |
t3_31ae3s | relationships | Girl [25/F] I am dating is currently drunk at a party and sending me text's and snapchats that I [23/M] don't know how to reply to. | I have been dating this girl for a few months (not exclusive) and the last 2 weeks we have been getting more serious. In the last week i have met her family and spent even more time with her daughter. I get along perfect with all of them and she loves it.
Currently she is at her best friends party. I could not attend because i had a family lunch i needed to go to. She has texted me a few times saying she is drunk and mixing drinks. I have been replying to her like normal. Have fun, be careful, wish i could be there. Just the normal stuff.
She then sent me a snap chat with her in her bra saying it's topless time. Again that was fine i didn't care, honest. Then she sent me a picture of a guy's back who has a huge back tattoo and labeled the picture "tattoo and a half". This is a guy she used to sleep with. It doesn't bother me to much that he is there, it just bothers me that she is clearly trying to make me jealous. I have a lot of tattoo's and she has told me before how much of a turn on she finds tattoo's.
She has also sent other messages like she hurt her back because everyone is wrestling and that her friend pulled her tits out of her bra. I have no idea how to react. I know on some level she is trying to make me jealous and i have no idea why or what i should say or if i should say anything. If i am negative in anyway i know she will make me out to be the bad guy. So what do i do? | A girl i am dating is drunk at a party and sending me snaps that are clearly trying to make me jealous. I have no idea how to reply to her or if i even should. So what do i do? |
t3_2lo1pb | relationships | my gf 45f has been lying to me 35m for months? she's currently sleeping off a week long bender after coming "home" in my bed . | im drunk now after going through her phone. she said i could .
turns out at least 3-5 coworkers are using along with her (brought her in on the "fun")and its been going on for months. this has been a source of friction for at least a few weeks before i confirmed it after watching her do a line in my driveway in a "helpful friendly and concerned" coworker's car. he was taking her to the same place i had to go a few hours later . she came back i called her on it she said she would take a drug test and after the second one (one day apart.) i kicked her out for lying.0 anyways i want to know how to deal with the coworkers . | girlfriend relasped using meth with our coworkers how do i deal with the coworkers? with out ruining lives . |
t3_1ol8nr | relationships | I [18m] get extremeley uncomfortable whenever an SO of mine does things I don't and I hate myself for it. | I am an 18 year old male in community college and this has affected more than just my relationships. This problem comes from the fact that I don't drink or smoke and I don't like parties. For most of my relationships this wasn't a problem because my girlfriend didn't do any of that stuff either. But with my last girlfriend it was a problem, and it evetually led to her dumping me.
We started dating during senior year, and up until the end of the summer there weren't any problems. We didn't need to drink, smoke, or party to have fun, so we didn't. I found out that she had drinken a little when she was a freshman and even that bothered me, despite it being so far in the past. After summer she went to a college that was a few hours away and I stayed home. As soon as she got to college she started partying, started to drink a little bit, and joined a sorority. Everytime she told me about a night of partying I felt sick to my stomach. I hated hearing about it but at the same time I was jealous that she was having so much fun. This led to communication problems and she decided to break it off.
I don't know why her doing that stuff makes me so uncomfortable but it does, and I hate myself for it. I feel immature and stupid for not accepting what she does and for not doing some of it myself. I was uncomfortable when some of my friends started to do it as well. I want to stay sober but now that I am in college I see that finding someone who has the same stance on these things as me is going to be near impossible. I don't know what to do and I am so upset because of it.
Thanks for reading, I would appreciate any help at all. | I don't drink, smoke, or party, but SO did. Made me uncomfortable and led to her dumping me. Hate myself for my own views and don't know what to do. |
t3_25o2wr | relationships | I [24M] need to finally break up with with my [22F] of 3.5 years, but we're going away next weekend. Before or after? | After a very long period of procrastination, I've finally had it with my relationship. I decided that I wanted to end it a few months ago but it's taken me until now to truly want to get it done.
There's not necessarily anything BAD about it, which is why it's taking me so long to deal with it, it's just not working for me any more, it's a pretty classic case of just needing to move on. Obviously our lives are very intertwined and we share many friends, so I want it to be honest, and respectful. I know she'll hate me for a while but i'm sure someday down the line we can be friends.
I've put it off for far too long and I am more ready than I have ever been to have the conversation,
Here's the catch:
We both have tickets to a music festival next weekend. We are planning to drive with one of her friends, but i have many friends going as well.
I know it's kind of a dick move to end it before a trip, but on the other hand I've been making these same rationalizations for months. The festival is big enough that we probably wouldn't see each other, but if we did I could foresee some ugliness.
I know it seems like "Man, you've been dating for 3.5 years, i'm sure it can wait another week", but I have been thinking about this for WAY too long, and I don't think I can fake it any more. I already feel guilty for not acting on this sooner, it's disingenuous and not fair to her.
Do I break up with her asap or do I wait until after the festival? | I have finally come to terms with wanting to end my 3.5 year relationship with my girlfriend, but we are going to a music festival next weekend. Should I do it now or wait until after? |
t3_2b53pw | relationships | How do i [21/m] reconnect with an old classmate [21/f] romantically? | I recently (~1 month) broke up with my long term girlfriend, and fortunately now I feel that I am beginning to move on, having got over the moping stage!
I now want to find someone else and get on with my life. There is an old classmate who i have as a friend on facebook who i used to talk to most of the time during high school. I want to try and see if i can meet up with her, but we haven't talked in 3 years and I have no idea on how I can try to change her from being just a friend, to being my girlfriend.
Any tips on how I can reconnect with her, as well as how I can change from being just friends to being together?
Many thanks! | How can i reconnect with old classmate who I haven't spoken to in years and make her romantically interested in me? |
t3_2u26eb | askwomenadvice | How can i[19M] be certaint of a girl's[16F] feelings towards me? | First of all i am sorry if this isn't the right subreddit to post this to,if it's not then just tell me and i'll delete the post righ away.
There's this girl i've been texting to for a few months,we skyped,talked on the phone for countless hours we text eachother everyday until sunset and stuff like that.
We call eachother cute names like ''my love'' ''my angel'' stuff like that she constantly tells me that she loves me and i tell her all the time that i love her too,she always tells me that she miss me and that she want to be in my arms,she always says ''i'm yours''(even though i never know how to respond to that),she wants me to be her first and that she'd love me even with my body (i have a big problem with my physical appeareance)
i really love her,still we haven't met,i'm supposed to go meet her on the 14th of february,you know for valentine's day and i'll bring her a rose and her favorite chocolate..but for some reason i'm unsure about her feelings..
or maybe that's not it but there's definetly something weird about all this and i can't put my finger on it..i have difficulties about trusting people,i try my best to trust her.
she says i'm the one she loves,yet sometime she shows herself to old guys and i don't know how to react..sorry if this post make no sense at all.. | met this girl online a few months ago,been texting and saying cute stuff to eachothers,want to meet her but unsure about her feelings,or maybe that's not it,what do i do? |
t3_2vlt6a | tifu | TIFU by not waiting | All of the toilets in my building are being switched out for more water efficient ones today. First the maintenance guys knocked on my door to drop off the new one and take the old one out.
I thought that they would be right back but after about twenty minutes I was still waiting and I really had to pee. I had to pee when they first showed up. I waited for about ten more minutes before I decided that I couldn't hold it anymore and that I should pee in the sink.
I was just about done when the door swings wide open and I lock eyes with one of the maintenance crew guys. After what felt like an eternity he quietly shut the door left. About five minutes later a different guy came by to hook up the toilet. | A man that I've never met saw me sitting at the edge of my kitchen sink, peeing. I'm a woman. |
t3_284gjf | AskReddit | best reddit android app? | new to reddit, need help with finding the best reddit app for android, don't like the mobile interface of the browser and having to load it each time. please recommend | so reddit now is best but till they add option to edit my sub reddits from within the app I'll stick with flow. |
t3_4n2jkb | relationships | My[42F] bestfriend's [42F] 5 yo is not welcome at my boyfriend's [38M] house. How can I explain this to her? | My bestfriend of over 35 years has 4 children. 3 are wonderful within normal child bounds. The fourth, a 5 year old daughter (actually the second) let's call her Jane is also lovely but also has issues. She has auditory sensitivity and shows signs of being on the spectrum. She also tantrums and unfortunately her parents tend to give into these with whatever she is tantruming about. When she tantrums or melts down (yes these are different) she will run away and has broken things. They also won't enforce boundaries such as which rooms not to enter, etc with any of their children but the rest are easily discouraged.
I don't live with my boyfriend of 6 years (yes I know. He has commitment issues). My bestfriend is nagging me to invite her family over for a BBQ at his house as I have with many other people but he doesn't want Jane in his house as it is not child proof and he has a cat. He'd be happy with all the other kids there and has invited other kids over regularly including my autistic son.
How can I explain to her that I can't invite her to his house or should I just keep ignoring/bean dipping? | One of best friends children has a disorder which affects her behaviour and parents don't really control it well. Boyfriend will not allow this child in his house. How do I deflect or explain this to my friend? |
t3_1d2faw | relationships | My boyfriend [23] told me [23F] that I'm not 'the one'. I don't know where to go with the relationship now. | My boyfriend of about a year dropped a bomb a few weeks ago that he enjoys spending time with me, likes me, and likes sex with me but he just 'doesn't ever see us getting married'.
I'm just taking this in like 'Whoa, where did that come from? I'm 23, I'm not looking to get married or have babies or any of that right now.'
So I'm just stunned because I thought we had gotten over his iffy-ness about being in a relationship. He goes through these periods where he feels like he's being a terrible boyfriend because of standards he sets for himself that are too high.
His major concern was that he doesn't 'feel as intensely about [me] as [I] feel about [him]'.
It basically came down to him saying he thinks he should be stupid crazy for me and have this hollywood sappy romance where he pines for my presence and company.
I feel really hurt and confused and it's all just kind of catching up to me now. I talked to him about it and he's nervous about graduating college and living on his own and lots of other things that are stressing him out.
He's also my best friend and I feel that if he's going to dump me I need total separation and that we probably can't be friends for a while if ever.
He's also never dated any one else before and says that he's scared that he is going to meet someone he likes more than me, leave me for them, and hurt me.
I told him that kind of makes him an asshole for abstractly thinking about how much better he could do than me.
We're still dating but I feel like I need to dump him out of self respect for myself.
I know we need to sit down about my feelings but I really just want him to apologize for being so insensitive and that he needs to start thinking about his words if he wants me to be in his life.
Is it even worth it after what I've written? I don't want to be deluded into thinking I can fix things if there doesn't seem to be things worth fixing. | Boyfriend says I'm not the one, wants everything to be the same minus sex (which he says is amazing). Super confused about what he's trying to pull. Is this even worth it? |
t3_43gfva | relationships | Why do I [18F] never feel like socializing/hanging out with my friends? | I love my friends. I usually enjoy hanging out with people when I'm actually in the moment. But when I'm by myself, whether I have actual plans for my day alone or I'm just dicking around with myself, if someone texts me and asks me to hang out that day I get super pissed off and my initial reaction is to want to turn down all plans (just to myself, I don't actually let it show). Again, I like all my friends, and I have fun socializing in the moment...I just don't know why I respond with such visceral irritation to the idea of making plans. Never once have I felt excited by the thought of having social plans.
I don't get it! I understand that I'm introverted but I don't think it's healthy to be so introverted that I literally would never hang out with anyone if I let myself just do what my feelings tell me. I do sometimes make excuses not to hang out just because I don't feel like it - probably more often than most people turn down plans. I know this probably seems like a minor issue but I'm tired of feeling like it's a burden when my friends want to spend time with me. I feel like it's going to start really affecting my social life if I keep turning down people's requests to hang out. Why do I feel like this? | I don't like the idea of socializing but I know I should want to spend time with my friends, why is this happening? |
t3_rzb1p | relationships | Question about new relationships | I'm 28/m, and have been in a couple of longer-term relationships. I always feel a bit nervous when I'm being intimate- anything more than light kissing- with a girl for the first few times- I'm unsure what she's comfortable with, and I've been raised in a strong "consent is important" environment. So I usually ask repeatedly, "Is this alright?... Can I touch you there?... Are you ok?" This starts to sound kind of tedious after a while, so I've thought about just saying, "If there's anything you don't like, just let me know, and I'll stop." But now I'm thinking, that should go without saying. | What's the best way to make sure a new partner is comfortable with what you're doing, without interrupting the flow too much? |
t3_q2v9j | AskReddit | Military spouse with a renting/lease question | My husband is being deployed sometime next month, we are currently in a 12 month lease that is up in August. He'll be gone for about 9 months. I want to go back and stay with family while he's gone, but our apartment complex is giving us a hard time. We have a military clause in our lease, which they claim only covers him being released from the lease. They're saying since I signed it too, there is no way for them to legally let us (well me, specifically) out of the lease. My husband is filing some kind of paperwork to help me get out of it. Have any of you had similar experiences, or know if they can legally do this. | Husband deploying. Military clause in lease, but apartment complex is saying I can't break out of it. Advice? |
t3_3iyybj | relationships | I [28/F] just recently moved to a new city and my friends and family are visiting often, I'm overwhelmed by the cost of doing touristy things. | My husband (30/m) and I (28/f) married for 3.5 years just moved to Seattle about 4 months ago. We moved from Oregon where most of our friends and family are from.
We love having visitors! Seattle is a really cool city and we are happy to give someone a place to stay and to see our loved ones! The volume or frequency of guests isn't what bothers us, for reals. Since most people are only 4-6 hours away we've had a lot of guests so far. It's a great weekend getaway option especially since we can host. All our guests have been very considerate and cool.
It's just that the cost of the iconic seattle attractions is pretty pricy. Going up the space needle costs $20+, the EMP Museum is $20+, doing a duck tour is $20+. Even some of the cheaper ones add up quickly. It's difficult because we did the majority of the touristy stuff the first 2-3 times we had guests up here but now everyone who visits wants to go. Thank god visiting Pike's is free!
I know there are lots of free or cheap things to do in seattle but our guests get here and are all about the space needle. People want to do those iconic things because they are up here. This isn't about suggesting something cheaper.
It's a little easier when a couple or group visits because they can all ride up the needle as a group while we chill below (although that still seems rude) but if it's one person we feel obligated to do it too.
We really don't want to stop having guests but all the tourist attractions are breaking the bank. What should we do? | Recently moved to Seattle. We've had a lot of guests which we love. What we don't love is the cost to do all the pricy iconic attractions which we feel obligated to accompany our guests to. |
t3_54x5wv | tifu | TIFU by smoking at a smoke-free campus | So a little background, this actually happened today, about an hour ago. I'm a white guy in my early 20's and I attend a very large university that happens to be smoke free. Well, after a long class the only thing a smoker wants is a cigarette, naturally. So I'm standing outside my building burning one, away from most people (I don't try to be a dick or a cool kid smoking in high traffic areas) when this guys walks up. He's seems pretty concerned, and is frantically talking to me in a foreign language. Having no idea what this guy is trying to say to me, I'm like, "What's up man?"
Dude is starting to seem a little panicked and is pointing vigorously at my cigarette and looking over his shoulder. In my naïveté, I think he doesn't understand what I'm doing. I hold my smoke up and say in an exaggerated tone "this is a cigarette man, no worries." I take a solid drag to emphasize my point, and blow it out. The smoke catches the wind, and unintentionally blows right into the poor guy's face.
He doubles over and starts the most intense tirade of coughs, stands up and tries to bat the cig out of my hand, burning himself and yelping in the process. All the while a campus security guard is walking up behind him and asking if there's a problem. Dude shakes his head no, walks off, and the guard gives me a 65 dollar ticket for smoking.
... I think the guys was trying to save me from a ticket. | was smoking on a smoke free campus, thought a foreign guy who didn't speak English didn't understand cigarettes. Was probably trying to earn about a guard, who promptly ticketed me |
t3_3hzxvu | relationships | My (23M) fiancée (23F) wants to forgo wedding rings and combined finances | We've bern together 5 years, are recently engaged, and wedding is planned for next year.
When we were talking marriage she asked for no engagement ring. Unusual, but I went along with it. When people asked about the ring she says "I'm not a ring person" but she owns a lot of costume jewelry rings that she wears often.
Now, talking about the wedding, she says she doesn't want us to have wedding rings, because they're too much money. She also wants us to have a backyard picnic with McDonald's sandwiches instead of a wedding. I'm finding this really weird. She isn't cheap, but she claims it's time for us to settle down and start saving instead of spending. I'm all for that, but this seems extreme and tacky.
She also doesn't want us to combine finances. She says she doesn't feel comfortable with it. I currently make a lot more than her and will likely always do so. This separation of finances, coupled with the no wedding ring thing, is making me feel like we aren't going to be married. I felt bad enough about not giving her an engagement ring.
She has another friend who is planning an expensive wedding and my fiancée helped him pick out the ring for his fiancée. She really liked it, and it was $2000. Yet she insisted no ring for her. I could have at least gotten her some sort of ring.
Is she being odd her or is this normal? How can I tell her I want rings, a nice wedding, and combined finances? Is there a compromise? | My fiancé doesn't want wedding rings, a nice wedding, or finances combined. I make enough for us to have these things, but she says no. |
t3_2zm8ur | weddingplanning | [RANT] Has anyone worked with the Silver Beach in St Joseph, Mi? | I am getting infuriated with this hotel. It took a month or so to get a room block with this hotel back in the fall. I emailed them a week and a half ago about adding more rooms to the block since they told me when I booked it and I asked to add more rooms, they wouldn't do that until after my current block filled up.
The GM was on vacation, then took a day or two to get back to me (which I understand, emails fill up while you are out of town), then tells me to contact her after their desk manager talks to me about my block. I email him the next day... almost a week goes by so I called him, he just left for the day; email him again asking him to call me this morning after 10am, 30 minutes go by after 10 so I call him. I informed him people were coming back to me saying my block was full and he said there were only 3 rooms (now 2) left and that he forwarded my email to their GM about how many rooms I'm interested in.
I get off the call fill out the form the GM gave me and send her an email. Three and a half hours later I get an email saying fill out the form and she won't be able to give me the room block right away because she meets with rate manager (which is only once a week.) I told her that's fine as long as I get something next week because I have people calling, texting and emailing me about the rooms.
Unfortunately, the only reason we are going with this hotel is for my friends who can't afford the Boulevard (which doesn't do a discounted rate) and then it's literally the closest hotel to the reception (and the other new hotel in St Joseph were "fully booked" for May and super rude when we tried contacting them.)
I also just really want to throw a fit but I don't want them to refuse us rooms or do anything to my friends and family that are staying at the Silver Beach. | I'm just really really pissed off at this hotel and I have no other options for hotels that are affordable for my guests. Seriously, beware when working with this damn place. |
t3_28l4z7 | relationships | Me [28 M], recently got dumped by GF of 2 years. Thinking about going on the rebound. What's been your experience? | You can check my post history to get a bit more background. But basically, my GF of 2 years dumped me 5 weeks ago. During that time I really tried to win her back, but as we all know, it only made matters worse. Yesterday I found out she's already sleeping with at least one other person she's recently met, so I desperately want to move on.
However, I feel so lonely. I knew the relationship was bad for me for over a year, she was so emotionally abusive, but I wouldn't dump her. At first I thought it was because I loved her, I don't know, but honestly I feel like it was just because she's the only close "friend" I had. It was because I liked the little affection I got occasionally, even though I had to work so hard for it because she would turn me down on so many occasions to hang out with her friends or do her chores or whatever.
I'm very close to my family and they've been very supportive. But I don't have any friends to do stuff with, and I put all my attention on my EX the past two years, so I didn't even look at any other girl, because she was so jealous.
My gut tells me I should start talking to other girls, go on dates, see what I've been missing. I have so much more confidence in my own abilities now.
On the other hand, I think, what if I get with some girl that's not right for me because I am desperate? Honestly, that's what I did with my EX. She was my first. What if the rejections will only hurt me more?
I figure, if she started going out with other guys before and after dumping me, why can't I do the same to move on? I know it's different for guys, since it's much easier for girls to attract attention from guys and make themselves feel good.
Anyone have any experience with this approach? | GF dumped me. I feel lonely. I want to move on, but feel like the only way is to try dating other women. |
t3_2dr143 | Advice | Overbearing Parents as I Get Ready for College | Title says it all. I'm preparing to leave for college a week from today and my parents are becoming even more overbearing.
I recently asked my dad when I could get my own bank account without him co-signed on it since I was finally 18 and I got a very sharp no from him. He used the reasoning that if I get my own, he can't put money into it. The problem with his answer is that he made it clear that all spending money was coming from my pocket and he wouldn't be helping me financially in that aspect.
Lately my parents have also been using Verizon's family tracker to track me to make sure that I'm only at places that they said I could be at. I went over to my girlfriend's house after work one night to drop her off some dinner and ended up staying to hang out for a bit. The next night my mom confronted me and made it clear that I would get my car and phone taken away if I did it again.
My curfew as a younger teen was always reasonable too. They would let me stay out until midnight on most non school nights. Now I'm even lucky to stay out past 11 without getting a pissed off call because I should be home.
I've never been a bad guy; I've always done what I was supposed to do, I haven't ever snuck out to party, and I've never done drugs or drank. I don't know why they're being so overbearing and I don't know how to tell them I want some freedom and a little independence. | Parents are being overbearing as I get ready to leave for college, I'm a good guy and feel there's no justifiable reason for it. |
t3_2b99in | relationships | Is he [M21] embarrassed of me [F20]? | I've been in a relationship with this guy for about a year and a half now, and although I will be the first to say that I have trust issues, I think I am right on this one.
He still has his facebook status as "single." On top of that, in our whole time dating, we haven't taken a single picture together, despite having gone on many dates. He isn't the type to really need privacy either. He has tons of pictures of ex-girlfriends, family, etc.
Even though I have told my family about him, I don't think he has told his family about me because he is reluctant to talk about me meeting them. These are some of the biggest clues, and there have been several other smaller ones throughout the relationship.
Am I right to believe that he is embarrassed of me? If you think he is, how exactly should I bring it up to him or ask him? | Boyfriend doesn't like to display any signs of me being in his life, am looking for ways to ask him about this. |
t3_1s1yt3 | relationships | Me [21F] with my boyfriend [27M] 3 months - Twin Trouble | I met my boyfriend, Andrew, about four months ago. I met him and his identical twin brother, Jonathon, at the same time. When I first saw them I was more attracted to Jonathon, because I thought the way he smiled was really cute, but as I got to know them both more Andrew and I clicked really well. Jonathon didn't seem interested in me at all, so when Andrew asked me out, I said yes and I have no regrets! He's absolutely wonderful and I've fallen pretty hard for him.
Up until about a month and half ago everything was going really well, then Jonathon started showing interest in me. At first I thought it was just because I was going out with his brother and he wanted to make sure I wasn't going to hurt him, but then he start quite obviously flirting with me (Only when Andrew wasn't around). I mentioned this to Andrew who said he'd talk to Jonathon about it.
In the last couple of weeks since the talk Jonathon's behavior has gotten worse and yesterday he actually kissed me. Andrew's been cheated on before and I don't know how to bring this up without hurting him or his relationship with his brother. I've told Jonathon that his behavior is not on, but he seems to think that I'm still attracted to him or something or that it's a game.
Help?! | My boyfriend's twin brother is making moves on me. Due to my boyfriend having been cheated on before, I don't know how to deal with this without hurting him. |
t3_z5eec | relationships | I [19 F] moved across the country and now my boyfriend [19 M] is can't find time to talk. | In February, my family relocated from Kentucky to Florida, and I began a relationship right before I left. I was away a month and he had a hard time making time to talk to me. I ended up going back home for the summer and things were great. But we hardly had any time together alone. Barely had a sex life, either. Towards the end of the summer when I had to go back to Florida, we were spending every night with our friends, and no time alone. I tried to explain to him that that bothered me, but he never really got the point.
Now i'm back in florida, and we've hardly talked at all. He's been out with our friends every night since I left, and doesn't try to find the time to call or skype with me, even though he suggested it before I left. We've only been together 5 months, but I really don't want to break up with him. He's really good to me outside of his time management. | My bf of 5 months has been out every night since i moved 800 miles away. How can I get him to find time to talk to me? |
t3_2wr12w | relationships | I [21M] am about to explain to my parents [50's] that I flunked out of college three times now. How do I go about this. | Like the title says I've failed classes for three semesters now. I did fine for my first three semesters and then shit hit the fan. I wasn't doing that hot in my Calc 2 class and then failed the first big test miserably. I felt so lost during the class. Then I found out i had been going to the wrong physics class also. This sent me into a downward spiral that I have not recovered from. Now I have to pay back student loans because I didn't earn them because I flunked out. I have been depressed for the past 7-8 years of my life and because of that I have become rather dependant on weed to not feel like shit/want to kill myself. I have been trying different medications for my depression but nothing has worked as of yet. My parents know I smoke and they haven't been too approving recently. I tried asking them for a break from classes to try and get my head on straight and they were going to oblige, however a few weeks before I had gotten caught with a few grams in my car (decriminalized state). So I got a citation and my name was put into the paper which my parents found out about. They were none too happy and told me I could either go to classes or they were cutting me off. I'm honestly at a loss for what I am supposed to tell them as I am going to see them tomorrow. I have to explain things because my loan is in default as I had no idea the consequences of failing that semester. Please, how can I go about this so my parents won't kick me out and cut me off? I have no money and nowhere to go so if they do i will probably end up killing myself. Another small detail is I believe I have adhd which partly explains why I couldn't cope with college. | I'm depressed, maybe have adhd, failed college, and have to let my rents know. How can I do so without them freaking out on me. |
t3_4xnkkb | tifu | TIFU by trying to make microwave noodles | Happened today.
Being a teenager I live my parents. They decided to go for a weekend getaway by themselves leaving me at home by myself.
After I had finished eating dinner tonight I was still hungry and I thought to myself "A bowl of microwave noodles will fill me up!". So I boiled the water which went fine, placed the noodles in a microwave safe glass bowl then combined the two together. This went fine, now here comes the fuck up.
I'm some one who likes noodles furthest from soup as possible. So as I usually do I put a little less water in than the packet says, only this time I put in a little bit too little. Not realising this I put the delicious ingredients into the microwave. Here comes fuck up number two.
Instead of setting the microwave for the recommended two minutes I unknowingly set it for ten. Then I went off and zoned out in front of the TV.
Came back to a kitchen full of noodle smoke and an unhappy microwave. I'm not even going to lie, I attempted to clean it up to hide the damage from my parents and also see the damage. While doing so I discovered; that the paint on the top of the microwave had bubble and gave way to the metal beneath, the glass rotating tray had cracked and when I lifted it out if snapped in half and the walls are now a off white colour. Miraculously the bowl with the noodles survived even if the noodles themselves didn't.
The roof after substantial scrubing:
The tray:
Me: Noodleless and saving up for a new microwave. | unintentionally hot boxed a room with microwave noodle smoke. Microwave is probably dead. Noodles tasted like burnt toast. |
t3_36zgx6 | askwomenadvice | Do girls who flirt not always want a relationship? | So I'm a junior (m 16) in high school and there's this other junior girl (f 16) who I've known for three years and am good friends with who I've been into on and off this year. She starts flirting and sending me all the signs that lead me to believe she's interested. This isn't just light flirting, like I'm thinking it's pretty obvious she is into me.
She would randomly sit on my lap, touch me a lot lean into me when we were together, I even noticed one of her good friends one time was standing between us, then she looked at both of us and instantly moved out of the way from between us as if she wanted us to stand together.
So I worked up the courage yesterday to ask her out yesterday and she starts off with "Here's the deal..." (Great this is gonna go well). She says "I'm not at all looking for a relationship right now I just wanna have fun," and she repeated that fun part a couple of times. I have to know what could she possibly mean. I mean why would she flirt me up so much the past few days if she knew I was probably going to ask her out if she did so, and did she want something other than a relationship? | girl I've known for a few years really starts flirting with me then I ask her out and she tells me she's not looking for a relationship. |
t3_114w0u | relationships | [22M] just broke up with [19F] after a year and a half of dating. | And I have absolutely no idea if I did the right thing.
I'm right out of college, and she is finishing up school this spring. We've been happily dating the past year and a half, and some things have come up recently that have kept me from giving her the attention she deserves.
I'm not the most sane person (I just have a lot of odd personality quirks, none of them bad), as I'm very career-driven and aspire to do a lot of things in my life. I have a lot of hobbies, and I felt bad that I wasn't giving her the attention she needed. She was always there for me, no matter what.
She is an amazing girl, and I love her so much - which is why I broke up with her on Saturday. **I know she deserves someone better than myself, and I'm willing to look past the pain of not having her to ensure she's happy in the long run. | She is an amazing girl and I would take her back in a heart beat, but I'm trying to live with the fact that she could be happier with someone better than me. |
t3_3qulct | relationships | Long distance open relationship advice (x-post r/longdistance) | My girlfriend (19) and I (20) have been together for 10 months now and due to a new job I have to move three hours away from her. At the beginning of June I moved 45 minutes away from her becuase to a job and we did long distance with me seeing her on the weekends when I was off work.
We don't want to split up as I will be back in April (seasonal job) but long distance already kills us. It's hard for us to both miss each other and going from seeing eachother every weekend to once a month sounds like it would torture us. We both do like the idea of being able to grow as individuals and get our lives figured out so that in April we can come back stronger than ever.
She is heartbroken about me leaving and I am to, it was my dream job (working at a ski resort) and it was hard to chose to stay and move in with her or follow my dream becuase I'm only young once.
I'm not sure if open relationships work over long distance and just wanted so advice and opinions. We are talking about what our plan is this weekend and I wanted to know some options.
The idea of us both seeing other people kills both of us but so does long distance. I'm just not sure how to handle this situation.
Thanks in advance for the help. | I am moving to a ski resort for a job during this winter. My girlfriend and I don't want to break up but we don't like long distance. Advice would be appreciated. |
t3_4a1k7b | relationships | I (20F) may be overly sensitive and get triggered easily. Help with BF (19M) of >1 year. | my entire life I was mentally, emotionally, verbally, physically and intimately abused. This left me with being triggered to some normal things that everyone does, in this case; shouting/increasing voice.
All physical abuse I was a victim of and witnessed has always started with shouting/raising voice. So when someone does it, it affects me but when my partners do it I just break down. Today I was trying on a dress I ordered online, and had difficulty closing it. My partner offered help. As he was helping he said "the dress is not closing are you sure it's the right size?" And I said "this happened before, remember? I think it's about zip" but he kept bringing up "are you sure it's right size" so often I just said "Yes I'm sure it's right size" and just tried moving away to handle it myself to which he raised his voice/shouted "oh my god always like this" (or something similar which I can not remember). I said "please don't shout it makes me feel bad" and then he calmed down and tried to help with the dress again. He again brought up "I don't think it's the right size" to which I replied with just sighing and moving away and he started shouting some stuff and I just started crying. I left to bathroom for two minutes and when I came back he told me how I am always starting a scene and stuff like that. Some more stuff was said and I left home crying (in a totally foreign country that I moved to be with him). And I'm just all by myself now
I just want to know if I'm being overly sensitive? | Boyfriend shouts at me and then says I am creating a scene for almost crying for getting triggered. Am I overly sensitive? |
t3_qeqcn | AskReddit | Why can't we mentally move on from something? Example inside.... | So I had a huge crush on this girl in Highschool, and it has been close to a year since I last saw her and I am trying to move on.
This girl was very shy with everyone except me, we would hangout over lunch together, I took her to prom, etc. etc. etc. At her graduation party I pretty much realized it was the last time I was going to see her and tried to glean some sort of closure from it, but she was just really friendly and warm to me.
The problem is that I can't quite get over her. Every time I am about to put memories of her into the "Long term storage" and move them out of the "Immediate importance" section of my brain something will happen to remind me how happy I thought I could have been with her. Just this morning I had a dream and she was in it (No, nothing lewd, just a dream and she was a participant(on that matter I have never really had a lewd thought about her at all)) and it reminded me how much I enjoyed her company.
I rationally realize that nothing will ever happen between us. I rationally want to move on. I want to keep the fond memories, but lose the ache inside about it. I want to be able to move on. I just want to give it up, but not forget.
Anyone else have a similar problem? Or is this just how it is with first (I don't believe it but the cliche fits) loves? | Cant get over this girl, I consciously want to, but just can't. Any similar problems or is this standard? |
t3_36aqiq | relationships | Getting blown off by your SO blows. | My girlfriend(f25) works at a bar. Her license is suspended, so quite often, I'll(m22) meet her once the bar is closing down to make sure she gets home. Well last night i was drunk so i walked there. She comes up to me outside and asks "What're you doing?". I tell her the party i was at started to die down and i wanted to hang out with her lovely self. She tells me she's going to her bosses house for a party(same as last night) and i can't come. She says i'm already drunk and i'll just pass out. SO points at the cab out front and tells me to either wait for her at her house or go home. I went home. This has me feeling some type of way reddit. Am i over reacting? | Girlfriend of 1 year makes me take a cab home instead of going to a party with her. I feel unwanted/suspicious. |
t3_2l3j5r | weddingplanning | Disagreement with FH about one person's wedding invitation | So, for context, my fiancé and I both come from large families, and we're looking at inviting about 200-250 people total, which is a lot. Almost overwhelmingly so, for me. Money isn't really an issue, but I'd rather spend less if possible and cut the guest list where we can. We're not getting married until fall 2016, so we have lots of time to plan.
So far, we've been in agreement or willing to compromise about the wedding in general and the guest list, but there's one person who he wants to invite who I really just don't. This girl is his younger sister's good (best?) friend, and she's stayed at his house a few times visiting. She went to the same college as us, but I barely know her. My main experiences with her are when his sister and her would sometimes stop by my fiancé's fraternity on weekends, go to his room to drink a few shots of his alcohol, and then leave. Which I thought was kind of tacky to be basically using him for his booze, although my fiancé didn't mind, so I didn't say anything.
I don't really understand why he wants to invite her. As far as I can tell, she's friends with his sister, not him. Aside from minor annoyance at the booze-using, I really do like his sister and am glad to have her in the wedding party, but I don't feel obligated to invite her bff to the wedding. We'll definitely be inviting the sister's boyfriend, so it's not like she'll be lonely.
Also, her friend has made comments/jokes (I wasn't there, this is secondhand) about being our flower girl, which I find kind of weird. I don't hate this chick or have a problem with her, but I would feel annoyed with having her at our already overly-large wedding. I tried discussing this with my fiancé to understand why he wants to invite her and better convey why I don't, but he just said to drop it for now.
Am I being unreasonable? Should I just consent to inviting this girl, or insist on not having her? | FH wants to invite his sister's friend who I barely know to already-large wedding, and I don't. What to do? |
t3_4407op | relationships | I [22F] got used and dumped by my ex [25M] 2 years ago, I never really told him how I felt, his friends defended him | He was my first, it lasted some months, and it was great for me. Suddenly, out of nowhere, one day he decides he "doesn't really know what he wants, he's lost in life, he's not sure" etc. and that "we should break up". I was depressed for weeks, because I couldn't understand.
He had told some mutual guy friends that I was "the one" and that it was "serious" in order to push them out of the way. He used me, dumped me, and left.
Thing is, I'm going to have a party (in truth, joining a pary with another person, who invited him without my knowledge, because THEY are friends somehow). I never got the chance to tell him how much he hurt me, and all that stuff. I found out a few months ago he's been with 20 or more girls, just for sex. I felt sick. His friends have always been on his side, defending him by saying that he went through some things in the past, which other girls did to him, as if this was some kind of justification! I don't know what hurts more, this attitude, or what he did.
I want to tell him a few things, and then tell him to never go anywhere I am, and to never bother speaking to me again. Is it too late? What should I even do/say? I am still going, because afterall the party is half mine, and whoever me and my friend invite are welcome. | Got dumped, friends defended the guy, I'm going to conjoin a party and he's invited. How to act? |
t3_kt1jd | AskReddit | Reddit, can you provide me some help/ideas? | To make a very long story short. My wife has a rather severe case of Crohn's. She's an occupational therapist. The problems that this presents is that she's basically unable to work full time, as any time she works full time, for any length of time, she ends up having to go in for surgery as a result of the Crohn's (already at 2 feet of small intestine taken out and she's 24). This then obviously cascades and creates several problems for us as a unit.
She can work, but it has to be a 'less stressful' environment, and the strenuous physical activity has to be pretty minimal. Additionally full time may be entirely out of the question.
There's a ton of student loans from the degree, in the 6 figures. Translates to expensive monthly payments. So simply 'not working' is not an option for us.
She has a pre-existing condition. So private insurance is not an option (not without an insane, unmanageable price tag). I can put her on my work insurance, but still have the price tag issue (over $500 increase a month). And this doesn't include the high co-pays, etc.
I've looked at the obvious stuff, loan discharge, disability, etc. But we don't qualify for any of this for a variety of reasons, her age, education (master's degree), etc etc. So I defer to the community in the hope that someone may have some advice, the key areas I'm hoping someone can help me with are...
1. Work. Ideas for how to work, where to work...even more preferable legitimate work from home possibilities that don't require more education.
2. Loans. Ideas/suggestions for loan forgiveness, discharge, something.
3. Insurance. I don't even know on this one where to go.
Thank you, Reddit, thank you in advance. | wife has crohn's, need ideas to work around high insurance costs, high loan payments, and inability to work full time. |
t3_1bo6vq | relationships | I need some serious advice on how to save my relationship. 16F and 17M | Hey reddit, things have gone so far south in my relationship and I need help bad. As of right now we haven't been together since Sunday. We've been dating for about a year, with a break over last summer. She (16F) said she hasn't been happy lately and it resulted in us breaking up. We've been talking and I've found out that it was because I wasn't doing enough to be a good boyfriend. I realize this now and am trying to get another chance. We're meeting up tomorrow to talk and I need some advice on how I can prove it to her I want to change and fix things?
Also about the break over summer that I mentioned earlier, it was much harder on me than her. I really can't go back to what that was like and I need her in my life. I love her and I will really do anything to get her back and be a better boyfriend. I know what I need to do to be a better one, I just need to get the chance. How can I do this? I hope this made sense, if not just ask. | I need help to get a second chance with 16F, I, 17M love her and will do anything to fix this. Year long relationship |
t3_2zx8kr | relationship_advice | My boyfriend treat me like a friend, and I am falling out of love [24F, 30M] | My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. I live with him in his home.
I'm not happy. He treat me more like a friend instead of his girlfriend except we have sex. It becomes exhausting and I do not feel loved or appreciate. I feel like he takes me for granted. He can be selfish and think that he does not listen to me sometimes.
I tried to tell him several times when he does something that bother me, but he does not seem to hear me. I know this, because eventually I will get so frustrated and cry after making multiple tries to talk about something important. He asked what was wrong and say, "I do not understand , I thought everything was OK!".
Because of this, he will be shocked if I tell how frustrated I am. Because he does not show me romance, I am not in love now because I feel like a friend.
I want to talk and try to see what is happening and if it can be fixed. I was crazy about him when we first dated but now I am lonely. But how do I start to talk about something so negative? He will not see it coming.
Sorry for my English. | Boyfriend treat me like his friend, not girlfriend. I am lonely and have no patience. I do not know how to talk to him. |
t3_eprhm | AskReddit | What do I do now? | I will be expected to support myself soon but before breaking down and getting a real job I want to try to do something that I'll love (meaning get a part time, minimum wage job while doing acting and maybe making some short films) my idea of success is pretty broad and for the sake of this post lets just assume that I'm capable of achieving a realistic level of success. That said, what do I do when I finish college? These are my options as I see them:
A. Move to a big city while I eat up my savings trying to settle in and try to achieve some sort of success
B. Move back home, try to spend most of my time traveling and then get a job and settle somewhere else
C. Stay where I am and try to get some more experience before setting out to said big city
I just don't know what to do, in the short run I think it would be nicer to travel but I'm worried that I'll regret not trying to do something more when I had the chance. | I refuse to get a job I'll hate before at least trying to do something I'll like, should I travel or settle down in a city that I can't afford? What would you do? |
t3_21n06f | relationships | My boyfriend[m 18], just asked me [f 18] to marry him after dating for 7 months. Should we wait? | So, my boyfriend and I have been dating for seven months, and yesterday he asked me to marry him. The question on my mind is not whether to say yes or not, but how long we should wait for everything. I'm heading off to a college about an hour away in September, but will be living mainly with him and travelling to school.
My original thought was to announce to my parents in about a year from now, when he and I will both be 19, then have the wedding in the fall of 2016. However, the more I consider everything, the less I want to wait. If I could I would plan for a marriage late summer of next year.
My question is, is en engagement at 7 months and a marriage at almost two years a decent amount of time to wait? Before I get any "You're simply too young to even be considering it." or "You don't know each other well enough." I know this is the man I want to marry. He has helped me through countless troubles, personal, family or with him. We make each other better people, and I can't imagine my life without him there for me. Our communication skills rival that of both mine and his parents, who have been happily married for 25+ years, and there is nothing that we cannot discuss.
In my mind marrying at 19 will not be that much different than at 20. | Is marrying my boyfriend, when both of us are 19 and will have been dating for two years too soon? What is the difference between marrying at 19 and 20? |
t3_2yj6ia | relationships | Me [17M] with my gf [17F] of 2 years, need to know how to end things with minimal damage to both of us | Things have been shaky for a couple of months now, to the point where i'm always worrying about her. I have a theory that she's behaving the way she does cause she's too scared of breaking up with me first and wants me to be the one to do it, so I'd be doing this for her more than me. I've been wrong before though. I love her so much, in fact i'm still gonna give it 2 more weeks for things to sort themselves and I'm gonna try my best to help it to get better. However i'm not so sure i'm very optimistic about the outcome, so I need some advice.
Like the title says, how do I end things with minimal damage to our relationship, by that I mean, we were great friends before this. And while going out with her brought me most of the greatest moments of my life so far, I don't want it to continue if i'm the only one in the relationship. | Not feeling optimistic about the fate of our bf/gf relationship, need to know how to break up with her while doing minimal damage and maintaining the great friendship we had before this. As much as I dont want to. |
t3_4j2bs0 | relationship_advice | [19/F] Having trouble decide if I should keep the baby because of muslim family issues. | I currently live in the US with part of my family. The rest are still back home and are very muslim. My father is also back home. He had cut me off for a long time but recently came back into my life as a means to pay for college.
I have two fears for this child. One, he/she would grow up hated by a lot of people because I am not married to my boyfriend (thought we love each other very much). This is similar to how I grew up. Nobody wanted me and it caused a lot of issues. I don;t want the kid to have the childhood I did, Secondly, I am worried my dad will cut me off from college tuition. then I can't go to college and I'm really fucked.
The side of the family here will be easier to convince and the baby daddy will stick around. Money for the kid is not a problem either as he is done with college and has full-time job, and I am a junior in college, and also work a high paying job.
Disclaimer:
I am not sure I am pregnant or not yet. I have been on birth control for months and have not missed a pill. He has also pulled out every time. This baby is not planned for at all, but he/she is welcome in my opinion. I got pregnant about 2 years ago under the same unlikely conditions. and was convinced into abortion. I don;t really want to kill two babies in my life time. | I might be pregnant and having the child may cause a lot of issues with the muslim side of the family. Abortion and wait for later to have a child? Or say fuck it and keep the baby? |
t3_fns89 | GetMotivated | Ramblings of a discouraged student. | I'm in my second year of college, and since day one I've been having trouble motivating myself to do things like studying, writing papers, etc. Whenever I try to start something, I end up thinking, *why am I doing this?* Now, with most tasks, this question is easy to answer, as completion of the task usually has an obvious benefit (even it doesn't me, at least it benefits somebody). However, when the task is, for instance, writing a paper, my thought process is more like this:
*Why am I doing this?* Well, it's for a grade. *Why should I care about a grade?* Well, I need these credits to get a degree. *Why should I care about a degree?* Well, you need one to get a good job.
What the hell does that mean? A "good" job? I know there are people that really love their job, but I don't think I can be in that crowd. I've done a lot of thinking, consulted damn near every career counselor and aptitute test I can get my hands on, and I still can not think of even one job that I would really enjoy. That's not the end of the world, and I could just suck it up & take any old job to get by, but why, then, should I waste all this time (and money) on college? I'm sure a lot of you have had thoughts like this before. How did/do you deal with it? | I went to college because I was told it was the way to get the job I want, but I don't think there's any job I actually want. How can I stay motivated and get through school? |
t3_2xnr60 | relationships | I have no idea how to behave in a relationship please help me out (20M) | Hi reddit
I have been in relationships, but all of them have been really bad relationships. Obviously I was 50% of those bad relationships so I have realized my own actions must be playing a role in these relationships always being toxic. I don't really have anyone around me to look at to see how a relationship should be as my fathers and mothers relationship is toxic to put it mildly. I have been hurt a lot in the past and atm am going through a break-up, so I wanna make sure the next relationship I am in I know how to proceed. So I come to you reddit as my mentor for relationships please help me | No one to look to advice for a healthy relationship and have been in only toxic relationships. Please give advice to become a better person at relationships. |
t3_19d9jb | AskReddit | What steps should I take now if I want to live as self-sufficiently as possible in the future? | I'm a 20 year old Accounting major at a D1 University. I plan to find work straight out of school, pay off my loans as quickly as possible, and then begin saving as much money as possible.
I've always enjoyed an outdoor lifestyle but, after some recent vacations, I've decided I'd be happiest living as self-sufficiently as possible in a secluded area, "living off the land".
Obviously it will take a lot of time for this dream to come to full fruition, but what steps I can start to take now that'll get me that much closer to realizing it? I'm looking for any and all information on the subject, such as where the best place to pursue such a thing would be, what skills I should start developing that will help me, etc. | A 20 year old kid needs advice on how to "go-off-the-grid" at some point down the road |
t3_iag54 | personalfinance | Rolling over my Solo Roth 401(k) into a Roth IRA, trying to avoid negative tax consequences. | Hey folks,
So I was self-employed for a few years and have recently switched to full-time work. While I was self-employed, I opened a Solo Roth 401(k), which I currently pay a (small) quarterly maintenance fee on.
I'd like to close up the Roth 401(k) and roll it over into a Roth IRA. I figure this gives me the most flexibility because in 5 years, the rollover contribution can be pulled out without consequence (if I run into an emergency).
*Before* I rollover the 401(k), I'd like to maximize my contribution to it with the last of my self-employed income (which stopped trickling in last month).
I believe I can just toss in 100% of the self-employed money I made from April 15 of this year to now; the total is less than the 401(k) contribution limit for 2011.
My current employer (unfortunately) does not offer a 401(k) plan, so I'm not concerned about accidentally over-contributing.
So based on the above:
1) Am I violating any tax rules?
2) Are there any steps I didn't mention that I should be *absolutely sure to complete* correctly?
3) Is this something I should hire a professional to execute or review for me?
4) Is there a special way I need to note this for my 2011 taxes and will it result in any tax owed by me this year?
5) Is there a smarter option available, or something better I could be doing with the 401(k)? | Want to roll over self-employed Roth 401(k) into Roth IRA; want to max out 401(k) contributions first. Workable? |
t3_37uslf | relationships | Me [22M] with my girlfriend [24F] for 2 months, I feel like I could do better. | My girlfriend and I met on a dating website about two months back, and we hit it off pretty well. We had to skirt around finding a perfect time to meet up for our first date; she didn't give up and neither did I. When we finally did meet up, we hit it off really well and it lasted for hours. I walked her to her car and she gave me a hug and said thank you, and I went on my way.
Two months later, She and I love each other. we met each other's parents and we create some great foreplay, but lately I feel as if I am missing out on something better. I feel like I know someone else is out there that can share a better connection with me than I can with my current girlfriend. I'm not saying I don't love my girlfriend, because I do; what I am saying is that I feel like I can find someone better for me. | Dating GF for two months. feels like I can find someone else better. What should I do? Should I tell her? |
t3_1hwqj5 | relationships | I [21M] am hanging out with a girl [21F] I'm interested in. She isn't aware of this interest yet. | I'll be making dinner with a friend of mine [titular 21F] this week (and possibly more, we haven't discussed plans in much detail). No romantic intention has been specified by either of us, and I'm content with our time spent together being platonic. In any event, she's still my friend.
That said, I am interested in her. I genuinely enjoy the time we spend together, and she's quite cute. We've known each other for about three years and she's talked to me once about her boy problems in the past. I know some consider this kind of talk a dead end, but I honestly just see it as helping out a friend, not something that can eliminate my chances with her.
I don't want to start coming on to her out of nowhere (these feelings are somewhat recent). This leads to my question: how can I (start to?) convey interest in a way that is not abrupt, but not too reserved? (for lack of a better word) | Hanging out with a girl I'm secretly interested in, want to convey interest but without coming on too strong or scaring her off. |
t3_24zbhh | relationship_advice | I (20/M) can become needy and feel an urge to see my girlfriend(18/F) all of a sudden and don't know why. | Hey, to put you in context we've been together for now almost a year, everything is going great but I feel like I have a problem that I need to talk to you guys about. Everything can be going great for a while, let's say a week or two, we spend some nights apart, we do stuff on our own and I have no worry about it, no problem.
But then, all of a sudden, without any apparent reason, it seems that something is triggered in my mind that makes me need, and I really mean it when I say need to see her. It usually starts out of nowhere, and when I ask her if she wants to do something later in the day and she says no, I kind of freak out inside( Not all the time, only when I'm in this weird state of mind) , I'll start freaking out about not seeing her for a couple days, I'll start asking myself stupid questions about why she doesn't want to see me.
I'd say the way I react with her during this phase is really just childish, I'll try to convince her to do something, tell her how I won't be doing anything for the night, how boring it is. I know it's a stupid way to react, I'm fully aware of it, but that's just how I react during those moments.
I feel like all I need is to be reassured that everything is going well, that she loves me, that nothing is wrong, but that's just not what happens, because her reaction, which is totally justified, is to be more distant and not talk to me as much for the rest of the night, which in return makes me freak out even more.
Why do I get these urges sometimes, how could I calm them, should I talk to my girlfriend about this seriously? That's a lot of questions, thanks for reading all of this, if you have any questions you need answered to help me, don't hesitate. | Once in a while, out of nowhere I become an overly attached boyfriend for a couple of days and don't know why or how to calm myself down. |
t3_3rjrwd | relationships | Me [20 M] with my roommate [20 M], trying not to damage relationship over rent concerns. | Hello I need some advice concerning a rent situation with my roommate. Before we moved into our apartment (both students in a college town), it was agreed that I would pay $40 more for the master bathroom. Last month when the rent deadline came about, I payed $780 while my roommate payed $700. Looking back, I realized that I made a mistake and if it were a $40 difference, I would be paying $760 and he would pay $720. Fast forward to yesterday, we were texting about the situation and he seemed weird about it. I brought it up again this morning and he said something along the lines of "I thought our agreement was that you pay $40 more and I pay $40 less" which doesn't make sense to me because on paper it looks like I am paying more (double to be exact).
This provoked me to look through my text messages and notice that I never said that. BUT I might have agreed to it in the past without knowing what he truly meant (in other words miscommunication). He left saying that we would talk about it later. I should also mention that his car broke down last week and I feel crappy about bringing up money right now. I feel like the answer is simple and I have asked multiple friends on their take of the situation. I don't want to burn any bridges with my roommate (we have a year lease) and need to know if I am in the right or wrong and how to go about dealing with it. | Paying $40 more for shared apartment with roommate. Having trouble figuring out what is fair after I figured out that I was doing my math wrong. Don't want to burn bridges with roommate as we have a year lease. |
t3_2eyjhy | relationships | Roommate won't be discreet about smoking in dorm. Advice? | I'm[m20] going into my third year at college and living in an on campus apartment my [m20]roommate (who i've somewhat known but wouldn't call a friend) smokes weed every day in the apartment. Now our school is rather tolerant of pot (no random searches and they tend to ignore the smells of the hall) but that doesn't mean people don't get busted for it for being obvious. Honestly if he just hid it and masked the smell, no one would ever notice. But he doesn't.
He leaves his pipe and weed laying out right by the door almost every day. I've told him he needs to hide it because I don't want to get in trouble for something I don't even do but he responds with "no one will find out" and "you won't get in trouble for it" each time even though I very well could especially if it's laying out. Also after I ask him he ends up only being discreet about it for about a day until it starts again.
I really don't care what he does, I don't care if he smokes in his room away from me, I'm not against pot though I don't use it, I just don't want to get in trouble for it. I don't want to tell one of the RA's about it because he would know it was me if he's getting questioned and i'm not and I don't want him to get in trouble for it when I tell the RA it's his and not mine. I don't feel like I'm asking too much for him to simply be a little smarter about his use. I really wish he'd do it off campus, but really basic smartness about his use would suffice.
What is the next step from here? Do I tell an RA? Do I just pray that if i keep asking finally he will get the hint? He's going to get caught with the way he's acting. I just don't want to get in trouble for it. | Roommate is really dumb about smoking weed in our dorm, leaves it out in the open despite me asking him to be discreet. I don't care what he does, i just don't want to get in trouble for it. |
t3_265awd | relationships | Me [27 M] with my wife [26 f/] of 3 years(together for 6), I'll have to leave the country soon, don't know what to do. | I'm feeling a little bit flustered so please bear with me.
Ok, so I used to live in Latin America and in my senior year in HS I met this girl from the states, we became friends. She actually spent two years living there and all that time we got close. Then, in 2006 I landed a scholarship to study in the U.S. I came here, and around 2007 she returned to the states and we reconnected.
In 2008 we finally started dating, and we've been very much in love since then. In 2011 I asked her to marry and she said yes. We are very, very close and the only time we spent apart was whenever I left to visit my country for 2-3 weeks. Now, finally in 2014 my program is coming to an end. We had planned to apply for another program that would give me an extra 18 months so we could devise a proper plan on what we were going to do and how we were going to do it, but that fell through.
Now we are in this difficult situation. I have to go back to my country in two weeks, and neither of us are taking it well. She can't come with me, at least not yet. She's still in College and it would be pretty selfish of me to make her drop out and throw all that money away (plus debt) so we can be together.
One of the requirements of the program was that after completion I have a 2 year residency requirement, meaning that she can't file for me to get a green card or anything like that, at least until those two years are up.
So what do I do /r/relationships? How do I leave my wife in another country? How does one even come to grips with doing such a thing? I need help. | Married the girl of my dreams as an international student, program is done and now I need to leave the country. What do I do? |
t3_xsjxx | loseit | So I decided to cheat on my diet and it ended well. | I'm on the liquid amino acid diet, which requires you to take a supplement 3 times a day as well as restricts a LOT of foods including peanut butter and I decided to skip this today. I didn't really eat much today, but I am seriously addicted to peanut butter and it's been like a month since i've been able to eat peanut butter.
So I went to the pantry and ate a few scoops of peanut butter. As I walked from the pantry, I started choking and felt sick. I drank a big swig of water and I still feel the peanut butter stuck in my throat. | My attempt at cheating on my diet ended in a near-death experience which makes me want to jump right back into the diet. |
t3_dzigi | AskReddit | Reddit: Please help me settle an argument with my boyfriend about the Rally. | UPDATE: Thanks guys. I will now apologize to eminently reasonable-and-healthily-skeptical-Boyfriend by sending him this link. :)
__________________________________________
I've been a redditor for many years, and though I seldom post or comment I love this community. Over time, I've developed an attachment to this place that I think many of you probably feel as well. So, it was with a great deal of smugness that I told my boyfriend (who is probably sick of hearing "Today on Reddit...") that the Rally was Reddit's idea.
To my eternal horror, he did not respond with blind enthusiasm and a "Reddit's SO AWESOME!" Instead, he tried to school me on the distinctions between causality and correlation. "Just because they came up with the idea too doesn't mean Jon and Stephen weren't already planning it." (He's a law student. Can you tell?) I've sent him the link to Stephen's awesome meme-filled note. I sent him a link to a Forbes blog post talking about the whole thing. He says that until he sees something from Stephen/Jon/Comedy Central specifically saying that they got the idea from Reddit, he won't believe it.
I must win. Please help. Are there any posts/videos/news stories where Comedy Central confirms this? I know it's too obvious to even need confirmation, but I'm hoping there's some out there. | I would like to prove, conclusively, to my skeptical boyfriend that Comedy Central/Stewart/Colbert got the Rally idea from Reddit. |
t3_1d1czz | relationships | My girlfriend [21] has slept with 12 guys, 13 counting myself. | Okay, so here's the deal. This girl [21] and I [21] met about 3 months ago, and we've been dating for 2 months. She's perfect- the most perfect girl whom I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. She feels the same way about me.
Before we had sex, by her request, we waited a month. I thought nothing of it, and I happily complied. Little did I know that this was actually a sort of road bump for her to ensure that I wasn't one of the guys like she'd been with in the past. And therein lies the issue: She's been with 12 guys. I'm really struggling with this concept, having only been with 4 women myself. This was about a year and a half ago- she was in a rough place. Prior to me, she dated a guy who was celibate, meaning that prior to me, she hadn't had sex in about 9 months. Prior to that, however, was when she was apparently promiscuous. Reddit, what can I do to reconcile that she is no longer that girl anymore, and is faithful to me? | Current girlfriend revealed that she has slept with 12 other men and I'm not sure if I can trust her, or that she's really changed. |
t3_132qka | relationship_advice | [23/m] Becoming increasingly paranoid about my somewhat-long-distance relationship of 9 months. Halp. | She [23/f] lives only about an hour and a half away. But I work an 8-5 and she works on the weekends and has school during the week so we usually only see each other once a week, she lives with her parents who don't want my scrub ass staying over so it's not uncommon for us to only get to spend the evening together on our visits. Any way, for the past month or so she's been very vocally depressed, for 'no reason in particular' as she puts it. We've gotten in more fights in the past two months than ever in the 6-7 months prior. Her demeanor which was previously gushing and affectionate has become more sterile and utilitarian, although she doesn't outright ignore me that I can tell. I make it a point daily to try and romance her a bit but she seems largely indifferent.
She's been slacking super hard in her school work too, which I think lends itself to legitimate depression. I want to know how best to facilitate her during these times (she says she's prone to them occasionally, but that they pass, and this is the first I've seen it since we've been together). When we're actually together, a lot of the awkwardness seems to dissolve and everything feels the same as it ever has. She seems less and less motivated to make any kind of plans though and can't seem to be bothered to pay me much attention when I'm not in her direct vicinity.
This being my first major relationship, I know I'm likely making a mountain out of a mole-hill. I have some bad habits that cause me to jump at shadows and despite her words to the contrary I just worry. | How do I accomodate my depressed (long-distance) SO, and how do I keep myself from taking it so personally and freaking out? |
t3_11vrno | AskReddit | So I'm waiting for my roommate at the ER, and had a weird/hilarious/horrific experience in the waiting room. What's the weirdest ER experience you've had? | So I drove my roommate to the ER for possibly breaking his shoulder, and while waiting, two random guys come in off the street. They both seem messed up on something, and the one guy tells the person behind the desk he just needs to used the bathroom, and tells the guy he walked in with to wait at the entrance for him. So he proceeds to walk into the bathroom and stays in there for about 15 minutes. The security guy looks bewildered, but I guess they let anyone come into use the bathroom, so he just accepts it. I assume huge guy in the bathroom is doing some kind of drug in there, as he flushed the toilet almost 10 minutes before leaving the bathroom. He finally leaves, screaming for his friend to follow him. A few seconds go by, and I'm hit with what smells like a Taco Bell dumpster filled with old diapers/used tampons. I immediately wanted to die. What freaks me out the most is that he flushed the toilet well before leaving, so a lot of that stink probably came from his presumedly unwiped ass. | Some random dude stunk up the waiting room in an ER with his terrible dump, and most likely didn't wipe. |
t3_1q5urg | relationships | I [18 M] left my friend [18 F] in the dust with no one. | I was her crutch while she was going through tough times with her family...I also helped her on how to handle her long-distance boyfriend who was really bummed that he was going to different colleges than her | She destroyed lost lasting relationships with careing people for the sake of a new guy and new sex, now her friends left her and so did I (one of her closest friends).* |
t3_2y95ka | tifu | TIFU by zombie walking in front of a police car | So this happened a couple months ago, but as a long time lurker, I feel that this should be my first post :)
My brother and I were chilling at a local school late on a Saturday night I believe. (Can't remember why we opted on posting up at a school) For some reason I decided to start zombie walking around with my mask on. Every car that came by I would do this weird zombie walk on the side of the road because I had nothing better to do. Later, we see a car pulling through the parking lot and I repeat the same process. But, this time, little did we know it was a police car. (It was dark, gosh :p)
So, I do a zombie walk with my werewolf mask on, and sure enough as it passed by I realized it was a police car. Gut "Oh Shit" feeling comes on. My brother was behind me and for some reason decided to duck into an alleyway near the school. (He didn't know it was a police car as well and opted on hiding from the car) Police officer gets out and has us both stand on the curb. (He called backup so a second cruiser comes racing in oddly quick) He then proceeds to search the area where my brother ducked in for a couple minutes because I guess he thought he was trying to hide drugs. (We don't do drugs) This was before, like me, he realized it was a police car. So my brother and I just stand on the curb laughing to ourselves while this hilarious search goes on, and the two cars who unfortunately could be stopping far more prominent crimes (Though our town is essentially crimeless :p)
They let us go after 10 minutes, and the backup police officer joked with me and advised me not to be wearing a mask around in public, at night, on the streets, at a school. So, that is the first time we have been ever "stopped" by the police. | Brother and I were at a local school late at night, I zombie walked in front of a police car with a mask on, police thought brother was hiding drugs |
t3_2vzarz | relationships | Me [19 F] and my bf [21 M] taking a break after 1yr+. How do I respect the distance (aka going back to being friends temporarily) without breaking down? | We're both at a difficult college. He's a senior with a job, already working part-time while at school, and I'm a sophomore. We've been together for more than a year and he decided that we should take a break.
I wanted to spend more time with him (aka: was a bit too clingy) (admittedly interrupting him when he was doing schoolwork) even though we both don't particularly have time so he decided we should take a break. I didn't want to and currently it's the first day and I'm depressed as shit. I can't stop crying, I don't want to eat, I need to do work, and I'm on reddit asking for help... I know it's a break, not a break up, but my heart won't accept it. I love him and he says he loves me, but it's really hard and I need advice. Also, we have dance rehearsal together that we can't miss, but I don't know how to act around him! | Taking a break, I understand that we need one, but I'm dying. How do I act around him? How can we be "just friends" without me breaking down? |
t3_3tbm01 | relationships | Asked a girl(18) out, she said no. I'm(M18) somewhat relieved, but how do I play it now? | [Previous Post](
So, as per the advice of Reddit, I asked this girl out. I laid foundation over the course of the week, and asked her out two days ago. She said no.
I liked this girl, but upon her rejection, I felt little sadness; my overwhelming feeling was one of relief. This next bit might make me unpopular, but this year was meant to be about me getting good grades, and no that this is out the way, I feel about 10 pounds lighter.
Now she's a nice girl, but of course there will be awkwardness. I'm just wondering how I play this now? She won't like call me out on it, but I feel like rides home aren't a good idea anymore. As cynical as you guys may find this, I think I should phase her out. Again, I would need advice on how to do this. | I've always been a bit of a loner. Now that this girl has rejected me, I feel as though I can go back to normal me. How do I phase her out? Or is this too harsh? |
t3_4rdn4r | relationships | Me [24 m] missing my first ex [21 f] after 5 months of break up. | Hello Reddit
Just throwing this post out there just to let it out of my system.
So I have been dating this girl (my first girlfriend. I was her first) for 3 years. We had an awesome time and sometimes rough ups and downs. In the end, it didn't work out.
I knew I loved her and she loved me but things just didn't work out due to both separate reasons.
So it has been almost 5 months. I got over the hardest time of my life which was post break up of first 2 months.
Now after 5 months, I just miss her.
I guess there hasn't been a single where I haven't thought about her yet. lol
I know I shouldn't contact her and I'm pretty sure she won't contact me either which is for the better.
We haven't spoken for maybe 2 months? something like that.
Yesterday, I just couldn't handle it anymore and looked at our photos on my google photos which I never get on.
It was nice to see her face again and reminisce the old days.
It was nice to see the dogs we both love now living with her family.
Throughout all 5 months, my career picked up. I got a promotion
saved up a lot of money and did things around the house I haven't been able to etc etc.
But I just miss her.
I know she's doing well, probably better than before.
Is it just me?
Anyway thanks for your time reading this and appreciate your comments. | Missing my first ex girlfriend after break up. It has been almost 5 months and my life has picked up after the post break up. Any advice on how to get over this situation? |
t3_1mfxcx | self | I don't know who I am or what my path in life is... | I am now a freshman in college, and I really was expecting a different experience.
At first I talked to people, I even got a girls number while we were doing laundry. But now I'm so bent out of shape. I just don't do things the same way other people do, and I feel sometimes like a poor human being, but sometimes like a fish being compared to a fox.
Everyone else has a group of friends already; lots of guys talking to girls, lots of people getting together and partying. I've just been hanging out with my "best-friend" (my roommate) and people we already knew from our home town. My problem is that the other people we hang out with were people my friend already knew for awhile. And, apparently, he likes them more. Long story short, he treats me very poorly now in front of them.
So I haven't met people and my best friend doesn't seem to really like me. So what do I do? I'm going to join clubs but it's really hard for me because I don't feel like other people. Where do I draw the line of "that's something I need to change about myself" and "why should I do what everyone else does"? There's a huge worry in my head that I won't live life the way I should, and that I'll end up alone or disliked forever. | Just started college, no friends, my best friend is drifting away fast, how do I figure out who I am so I can do the things I like to without feeling like they're the wrong things to do? |
t3_1y5an3 | relationships | my girlfriend [19f] of almost four years told me [19m] that shes not happy. | So the other day I got off work and went to hang with a friend while she was hanging with her friend and she texts me telling me we need to talk. I get all worried because our relationship is great and I love her so much. Well it turns out she says she isn't happy. Now, her friend who she hung out with came into town from college, and now my girlfriend is getting these ideas about going to a different college to meet new people and find something new. She doesn't have many friends and spends most of her time with me which I am okay with.
I lived with her and woke up to her every day and we love eachother. We talked yesterday about it and she says she just needs her space for now but I dont know what that means because I packed all of my stuff up and moved back in with my parents and she is still saying she needs time. About a week ago we were looking at apartments to move into together (we also looked months ago) and now she is saying she isn't happy? How can somebody go from making a commitment to get an apartment with their SO to breaking up with them a week later. Now this is totally random that she is doing this. Things have been good and we only bicker and fight on occasion but make up directly afterwards. It totally caught me off guard and I have been majorly depressed the last few days. Do you guys think she is going through a phase where she is confused about what she wants, or is it maybe just time to move on. We have never had a genuine break up like this before and I am very scared. | girlfriend of 4 years randomly tells me she's not happy after we looked for apartments together under a week ago. Wants space/break. |
t3_vb7em | BreakUps | I don't want to do this anymore. (X post from r/Relationships) | I (23f) and a coworker of mine (22m) have been talking and seeing eachother outside of work occasionally for two months. It is mostly an FWB situation, but lately it feels as though he has been developing some feelings. I have as well, and I think it's time to pull back from this situation because of that. He has a long term girlfriend (for shame, I know) that he intends on marrying, and I do not want to be the reason for the dissolution of their relationship or add to any problems they are already having (which they must be, or he wouldn't be messing around with me, right?). I do not have any illusions that he would ever break it off with her to be with me, and I went into this with eyes wide open. We work the same schedule in a small area and have no choice but to continue being around eachother as our shifts are on a rotating basis. Changing shifts is not an option. I don't have a problem with continuing to be around him, but I doubt he will feel the same way. Any time I bring up ending the affair, he gets upset and expresses that he in no way wants to stop what we are doing. I also know that he is firm on the stance of not leaving his girlfriend. Again, I'm okay with this and wish their relationship the best (I don't know her personally), but I feel terrible about this situation now. I know I was in the wrong, and so was he, to do anything like this. Say what you will on that. I'm just trying to figure out how to end this tactfully and with the least amount of awkwardness possible, although I know some amount is unavoidable. | I (23f) messed around with coworker (22m) with a gf; feelings present, no intentions of leaving gf; need to know how to end this tactfully. Feels bad, man. |
t3_180dyn | relationship_advice | What do you do when your partner puts their family ahead of your relationship? 31f, 37m | We've been together (non-cohabiting) for five years. He has a lot of family responsibilities and is very close with his parents and sister. He supports his parents financially, lives near his sister and sees her and her family at least every week.
I knew that he had a lot of responsibility to them from day one, and I actually liked that about him (generally means a guy is unselfish and accountable). But as we got involved, I found that he had a problem with being honest and upfront about what he wanted/needed to do for his family, especially when their needs conflicted with ours as a couple. I would find about them coming over at the last minute, he would be unavailable for our plans- even though he'd often know well in advance what was happening with them. He basically doesn't tell me anything until he's forced to.
He's a pretty typical conflict avoider and will always point to external circumstances for why he can't be honest and up front. (I was busy, I was tired, I didn't think of it, you make me feel uncomfortable, I didn't think it was a big deal). I've worked very hard on being calm and understanding, hoping that he may find it easier to open up. I'm not perfect, but it's very under control. There's certainly no yelling or name calling, etc.
Now in the last few weeks we're getting ready for a trip I've been planning for three years and he just told me he can't go for the whole time because his sister will be giving birth then (she's married and this is number 2). Obviously, he could have said something about this seven to eight months ago, but he chose not to. I already scheduled my time off work and can't change the dates now.
We're seeing a couples therapist who is encouraging me to stop blaming him for how I feel in these situations ("it's not his fault you're angry, you're being triggered, but that's your responsibility").
I'm struggling here. I want to work on things but I can't be in a relationship where I get sidelined all the time, and always at the last minute. | Boyfriend can't tell me about his family obligations until the very last minute, when it always ruins our plans. |
t3_3ln5d7 | tifu | TIFU because I made a bomb | This wasn't today, it was 6 years ago.
When I was 12, my family and I moved temporary to other house because the main house needed some repairs. The temporary house had a incredibly big backyard, like 60% of the total area of the house.
Whatever, we put the trash on big boxes, and I decided to fire the biggest box totally filled with trash, I thought it would be funny to see a big fire, the walls were pretty tall, so everyone would think it is a typical barbecue.
Then, I found a 3-liter bottled with diesel, coincidently used for fire on barbecue grills. And I pour the whole bottle on the trash, because I thought diesel would be slow to catch fire. I go for some matches to the kitchen (Mom & dad thought I was playing with my sister, as she was helping me), go to the backyard and then, set the fire on.
My sister and me were seeing how a little flame was growing, and I was holding my cat.
Then the box exploded
An incredibly huge fire mushroom lighted the night for 3 seconds, it reached like 30 feet height (I'm not exaggerating), the windows rumbled in all the neighborhood, and all the grass and ants 2 feet around the explosion got completly incinerated. My sister and me were pretty far from the explosion behind an old table that already was at the house, just if "something would go wrong". My cat jumped to my shoulder and scratched all my back.
My grandparent lives 2 squares away from the house, and he arrived just seconds after the explosion, also neighbors went to the house to see what happened, and a few minutes later, 3 or 4 police cars and a fire truck arrived, but the explosion extinguished the fire itself.
I didn't know what to say about the explosion, and my parents were explaining to everyone what happened.
My sister and me got a very good scold that night.
Guess who was at the next day news.
**Edit | I set fire to a box filled with trash, then I pour it diesel and it made an incredibly huge explosion. Neighbors, police, firemen and the news came to my house. |
t3_1rjsxc | relationships | Help! I am (F19) and my boyfriend is two years is (M22) he has been really depressed lately.. | Me and my boyfriend have lived together for over a year now. My bf really hates his job and is really stressed and depressed lately. This month we have had 3 decent sized fights, the first two I left and went to my Dad's house (this is the first time I have ever left when we have fought because usually it ends up getting worse so I was trying something new) and he ended up saying that I am the worst girlfriend and don't care about him, which I obviously do care about him.
Today was the third and i picked him up from work and he said he was tired and I clearly could tell he was not in a good mood and I asked if he wanted to talk about it and he said no that he just wanted to sleep so when we got home he went straight to the bed and I told him I would be in the living room if he wanted to talk about things.
I went and watched TV for about two hours and I received a text from him saying that it was the third time this month that I had showed him that I don't care about him and that he just wants to be friends.
Please help! I was just trying to give him his space! What I have done in the past never works so I try new things to avoid making the fight grow and I always end up never meeting his expectations. What do I do? I want to be with him, I am not just going to throw our whole relationship out over miscommunications like this. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. If you need more info or anything just ask. Thank you so much. | Every way I go about solving fights is never the right way. Boyfriend says he wants to just be friends because he claims I don't care about him. |
t3_zuj14 | AskReddit | Reddit, does your introversion/extroversion depend on who you're interacting with or meeting, or am I a less common case? | One of my strengths, I feel, is that I can usually tell if I have things in common with/would probably get along with someone upon meeting them, and I find it pretty easy to talk to them. If we have a lot in common (similar humor, like the same things, etc) I want to talk to them a lot and have a strong urge to hang out with them, etc.
However, this is a minority of cases, so with most people I either am neutral (I don't have an immediate connecting point) or I don't feel comfortable around them at all. I'm usually okay with meaningless introduction but sometimes not much beyond that. Some people I feel so distant from I just get intimidated by them and I basically shut down.
This usually works out for me because I'm a pretty good judge of who I get along with and everything is fine and dandy. But sometimes they're not as eager to hang out as me and I feel all hurt, like "Why wouldn't you want to talk more?? We have so much in common!" (and then I realize that not everyone must think like me) and sometimes of course I don't make friends I otherwise could because a friendship isn't as apparent and I'm too intimidated. | I judge people based on how well I think I'd get along with them and I'm very extroverted or introverted depending on which way it goes |
t3_3mdgio | relationships | Me [18M] with my girlfriend [18F] have a problem with a close friend of hers. Need advice. | Started dating a girl in a close group of friends. When I did so, her best friend is acting all hurt and upset because of it.
Background: Best friend was interested in me a while back, (~5 months ago) and I said no. I was not interested in a relationship her. Fast forward to present day when I start dating her best friend. She acts extremely hurt and will not talk to either of us, even when before she told us that it would be completely fine with her if we did.
Neither of us want to lose her as a friend and are very confused as to why she is feeling like this. Any ideas? | Starting dating a girl and her best friend is upset because of reasons unknown. No significant event has ever happened in between the best friend and I, and she has already said it was okay for us to be in a relationship. |
t3_31146o | relationships | I [17 M] need help with a situation going on with a [17 F] | First off, it's late and I'm on mobile, so please forgive grammar and spelling errors. Second off, I didn't know where I should post this, but here seems like the best place.
I really care about a girl in my life. She is sweet and charming and a huge nerd. We've known each other for a couple years, and I care about her deeply. I've seen her go through breakups with assholes, and when I see her sad, I'm sad too.
Now I've only recently come to see her as more than a friend, only around a few months ago. I realized that I might love her. I know it sounds fucking creepy, but I think I do. I care about her, first and foremost. I just feel awful because I desperately want to be with her, but I know that she would be happier with someone else. I want to be with her, but I want her to be happy
I know this isn't as serious as many other things on this subreddit, but I don't know what to do.
Only a few minutes ago I told her how I feel, and she said we wouldn't be right for each other. I responded, telling her I'm sorry for straining our friendship, but she hasn't responded. I'm hoping she fell asleep and hasn't read it yet. I'm so nervous and confused and sad and fucking angry! I don't even know why! I would just love if someone had any advice to give me. | I think I love a great friend and told her. She said we weren't right for each other. Now I feel awful |
t3_2oc2oi | relationships | I [21F] saw a video of my SO [21M] and a female friend of his and something didn't sit right with me. Help! | Some useful background information: We are currently in a long distance relationship, and we've been together for 3 years.
So I saw this video of this campus event with my SO in it and on this video, he doesn't seem to notice a camera and a mutual friend of ours runs up behind him and gives him a hug.
This is all fine and dandy until he reaches for her hands and kind of strokes/caresses them. Then she moves her hand (away from his touch?) and kind of scratches his belly. Then she lets go of him and they talk and she laughs. Then it cuts away.
I'm really uncomfortable with this and I will talk to him about it but before I do, I need to get a second, third and fourth opinion. | Saw a video of my SO running a girls hands. Is what I'm feeling (a sense of betrayal) justified? Or am I just being overdramatic? |
t3_pn3k6 | AskReddit | First real breakup, and it's basically the worst thing. How did you handle your first relationship ending, Reddit? | Just getting out of a relationship that was absolutely incredible. It was the first time I've ever been able to be completely honest with another person.
Unfortunately the relationship is ending (not exactly willingly by either of us) because it falls into pretty gray area as for who could wind up getting hurt if people found out.
I know in my heart that if the situation surrounding us was different, that this guy would probably be it for me. To me, he is amazing.
The worst part is we still are going to be seeing each other every week, and talking almost daily. How do I possibly begin to get over someone who I'm not over, and who isn't over me? | Forbidden" love if you will, and I have no idea how to start moving on when neither or us wanted it to end. How do I stop wanting him? |
t3_4vnai5 | dogs | [Help] My dog is picky about her food and I need help. | My GSD/Malamute is a picky eater.
Weight: 88lbs
Stats: Female, Spayed, 2.5 years old.
Currently she's on 4 cups a day (2 cups in the morning, two at night) of Hills Ideal balance Chicken and Brown Rice.
She has started having issues with her anal glands and the vet said put her on a high-fiber diet, try sweet potatoes, and pumpkin.
For the past week she has gotten a tablespoon of pumpkin in her food, with some water, and a little bit of milk.
She will *not* eat unless there's a little bit of milk in her food. However, she usually has to be coerced into eating. She doesn't seem to like the food and only eats because she has to.
I am at a loss of what to do. I am looking at high-fiber foods, but they seem to be more expensive than I can afford.
I have another dog, a 2.5 year old, GSD/Lab, 122 pounds. She also gets 4 cups a day, with water and pumpkin (no milk). She has to be on a diet because she is a cow.
I need help with a solution that is both cost effective (Ideal balance via amazon subscribe and save is $37-40, of which I have to buy 2 bags a month to feed these monsters) and will get my princess eating again - without the attitude.
She is medically fine, other than her anal glands. She's pretty active, not as much as she'd like to be, but it's also 100+ here in Southern California and she's a heat bitch like her mom. | princess dog needs a high-fiber dog food that's roughly $40 for a 30 pound bag that her cow of a sister can also eat without getting fatter. |
t3_3r9nl2 | tifu | TIFU by trying to "pick" the lock of a car door. | So when I was about 8 years old I was really interested in spy/secret agent type stuff. I had always seen it in the movies how it is super easy to pick locks and all that jazz.
So me being a typical 8 year old thought it was a good idea to try to pick my parents' car door with a paperclip.
Well after playing around with it for a couple minutes the paper clip snaps in half and half of the paper clip gets stuck in the lock.
I immediately run away and totally don't acknowledge that I did it.
Well a few days later, my mom talks to me and my family about how someone tried to break into her car, and is now still to this day super paranoid about having all the windows all the way rolled up and constantly checking locks excessively. Basically scarred my mom for life. | Tried to pick my parent's car lock with a paper clip, now my mom is super paranoid about car thieves years later. |
t3_2ls8vc | relationships | My [19 M] girlfriend [17 F] of two years wants me to abuse her. | I really need some help. I'll do my best to keep it short.
My girlfriend of two years has been depressed for most of our relationship. I've known it for a long time and I've tried to get her the help as best as I can, but it's been difficult. Aside from her insistence that she doesn't want help, her parents are... difficult. After I finally managed to get them to take her to a therapist, they insisted on talking to a ~~psychiatrist~~ therapist her dad knows. For a while they refused to be out of the room during her sessions - even though they were part of the problem - although that's mostly remedied. The main issue though is that she doesn't connect with the guy. Can't talk to him. Doesn't like him, even though she's tried. Her parents have made it clear that he's the only guy they're going to use. So that's completely useless.
She also has heavy self image issues. She sees herself as fat despite being underweight. She sees her stomach as "bulging" and nitpicks every aspect of her appearance. Negatively, of course.
But recently... she revealed to me that she wishes I'd... abuse her. Call her names, be awful to her, hit her, even go so far as to rape her. I'm nothing but loving to her, so this scares me, but isn't all to surprising. We do similar things sexually. I'll probably stop doing that kind of thing with her, more romantic sex than anything.
I love her more than anything and she's the most wonderful and loving person when her depression doesn't wreak havoc on her. She's been part of my life for a long while now and I love her too much for letting her go to be an option. I'm determined to stick it out. | Girlfriend's been depressed for years, we'v been working on that. She now wants me to abuse her, which stems from her self-hatred and image issues. I need advice, what can I do? |
t3_3yb43p | legaladvice | [NYC] No hot water, broken washing machine, landlord is unresponsive. What are my options? | I live in Manhattan, NYC, in a fairly nice building near midtown. The hot water for the entire building has been completely shut off for over two weeks now - the only water we get is ice cold. Management has only posted vaguely worded notices claiming "issues with ConEd" that they are "working hard to resolve." No timeline for a fix, and I (along with other residents) are getting increasingly frustrated at having to go to the gym every morning to shower.
Separately, I am lucky enough to have an in-unit washing machine, but unlucky enough to have an in-unit washing machine that leaks everywhere. The super referred me to a maintenance guy who referred me to a mechanic, all of whom are giving me the runaround and won't return calls or answer e-mails. I work very long hours, and part of the reason I picked an apartment with a W/D was to avoid spending the precious little free time I do have sitting in a laundromat.
These and several other issues are sufficient to make me want to move out when my lease is up next fall, but in the meantime I just want my hot water and washing machine to work. What are my options to get this process moving along? | No hot water for over two weeks, and washing machine is broken. Landlord is unresponsive and in no hurry to fix these issues. What can I do? |
t3_3y84js | relationships | Girlfriend [20 F] and I [20 M] broke up after 4 years - not sure what to think? | I started dating my now-ex-girlfriend back in highschool when we were only 16, we quickly became best friends and lovers and spent two years together before our graduation. We then graduated together. Once the time for university came, she made a decision to go to the UK to do her bachelor's degree while I decided to remain in my current country as I got accepted into med school.
At first we tried hard to keep everything fresh although it was long distance, we skyped weekly, phoned, texted daily...etc , but as time went by things started to fall apart, I got too busy with med school and we stopped phoning / skyping on a regular basis .. so our whole relationship was based purely on texts.
Another 2 years past through university until she finally decided to break it off with me because 'I no longer cared' and 'was no longer the person I used to be' ... I guess because I was always the type who wanted to be with someone who I could see a lot in person, I'm pretty 'physical' in showing my affection (but not in a sexual way of course) rather than by all the long term stuff
So it's been 2 months since we split up, and I'm confused, when people ask me how I feel about the situation I don't even know how to explain myself, it's almost as if it all happened and I just have no feelings towards any of it.. yet I can't imagine myself being with anyone else, I find lots of girls attractive, but I can never bring myself to make an initiative and talk to them and make an effort because I feel like there's no future for me with any of them .. but at the same time I've stopped dreaming about her, in fact I've started dreaming about previous crushes before I even met her ... it's all so confusing
I'd like your thoughts/analysis? | broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years and I don't know whether my brain wants me to move on or not? |
t3_2jblbt | relationships | Me [36 M] with my GF [38 F] of about a year - marriage is off the table, but she has no insurance and I'm worried about her health. | Between us we have 5 (yes, 5) previous marriages. I have two and she has 3. Further we have 6 kids between us. I have 4 and she has 2. Mine live out of state and hers live with her.
I have a great relationship with her kids. They're insured through medicare (she doesn't make a whole lot...not a big deal). She doesn't have health insurance though. Neither of the dads are very helpful financially nor when it comes to being there for the kids. I've filled the role to a degree.
We've discussed moving in together and possibly looking at things down the road a ways. We've both been through crap relationships and realized we were compromising for people that didn't really care about us.
Neither of us is really crazy about getting married again, since our luck with it hasn't been all that great to begin with. Also, there really isn't much of a point aside from taxes and insurance and so forth.
We love each other a lot, I get along great with ehr kids and she with mine. I'm not sure if marriage should be explored just to protect her if something should happen. My insurance doesn't allow for SO's to be covered (but they would cover her if she were my "domestic partner"...but I digress).
It goes without saying that getting married just for the sake of getting her covered under insurance is a stupid reason, but there's a lot more to this relationship than that.
Anyway... | Neither wants the hassle of marriage, but I don't want her to go uninsured. Should it be discussed or run the risk? |
t3_3ngvd0 | relationships | My [20 F] roommate [20 F] and my brother [19 M] started going out and it really pisses me off at this point | It's not the first time he's done this either. All three of us are fairly shy people, and it really pisses me off that every one of his girlfriends has been one of my closer friends, and once they start dating + beyond we rarely ever speak to each other again, because it feels awkward as hell. After the last time it happened, I confronted him about it, and he completely denied that it was awkward in any way.
March last year I learned that he would be attending the same university as me, which made me a bit uncomfortable at first. I told him that the only thing I care about as far as what he does in his spare time, is don't try to date any of my friends - and lo and behold within the second month of school it's started. As someone who doesn't have a lot of friends, losing another one in this fashion will really fucking hurt. | What the hell do I do about my little brother who just keeps leeching my friends from me to be his little girlfriends? |
t3_14w76m | tifu | TIFU by accidentally drinking someone else's 3 day old dip spit. | I was in the car having a coughing fit, so I reach back for heavenly relief from my water bottle. Unknown to me at the time, my best friend left his dip bottle containing spit/chewing tobacco in my car 3 days prior to this incident. This bottle happened to be identical to my water bottle. So I take a huge swig without looking at the bottle's contents...and it was not water as expected.
My first thought was to spit it out everywhere, but I was driving and would have fucked up the inside of my car reeeal bad. So I had no choice but to hold this vile shit in my mouth while simultaneously trying to decide what to do and resist the strong urge to puke everywhere. I finally was able to spit it back into the original bottle, and take a swig of my actual water. For those 30 seconds I had it in my mouth though, I thought it was the end for me. | always check what's in your bottle before taking a swig. Someone else's 3 day old spit/dip concoction is gross as fuck. |
t3_4v137f | relationship_advice | I (21/f) know my boyfriend (26/m) is lying to me. What the heck do I do?! | So I've been dating this guy for a little over a year. I can't say it's been the easiest relationship I've ever been in but at the end of every day regardless of how mad I am I always want to be right next to him. I can also say that I've had a little trust issues with him talking to other women. Not the kind of issues were if we're out in public and I see him talking to another girl I get jealous but his facebook and text messages. Not to mention he has a tinder and was using it last night when I was laying in bed sleeping. Although I haven't seen any real horrible messages on any of his social sites, the fact that he's using Tinder when I'm right there next to him is extremely unsettling. We're not suppose to be avidly looking for someone else, but isn't that what tinder is for? I don't know maybe I'm just being a little crazy but I always feel like he's being illusive or has something going on that I have no clue about. After getting into an argument the other night he admitted that he was at the bar with some friends and a girl was making another guy feel jealous by kissing on him. WTF like why is he letting other women kiss on him, and I asked him that. His response was "if anything it was a once in a lifetime experience". I know we're extremely different people but there are things I just really can't let go. I love the guy but it's always been obvious that he's not there...Regardless of that it hurts to know that I'm not enough, even though I'm always trying. | So do I confront my boyfriend about him lying and doing these things or do I wait it out and see it from a few other perspectives? |
t3_1r5qhj | relationships | Me [22 M] with my a [20 F] for a few months, she's legitimately busy but seems more and more distant. | So I've been with this girl for a few months, things were going great. We were hanging out 3-4 times a week, getting physical every once and a while, texting throughout the day etc etc. She is really into school and I totally respect that, and also does a hobby that requires her to go to competitions every once and a while. So understandably, she gets super busy, and I'm more than willing to give her space. When this happens, I put the ball totally in her court, she initiates texting every night and invites me over to relax once a week or so.
I'm totally cool with not being able to see or text her that often when she gets busy like this, but I can't help but feel she is kind of distant even when we do hang out. We still kiss, cuddle, I sleep in her bed, but we really haven't done anything past that in a long time.
So here is the dilemma, the distance when we hang out is kind of bothering me so I want to ask if she is still interested but I don't want to stress her out even more than she already is by making her feel she isn't giving me enough attention. If she is still into me, I'm totally cool with giving her as much space as she needs. But on the other hand, if she is losing interest I don't want to just slow burn away, I'd rather just know. Note that we haven't had "the talk", so I'm not sure if I could tie that into this as well.
---
So given the situation:
1. Do you think she is losing interest, and using her busy schedule as a way to break away from me?
2. Should I be upfront and ask her about it, or just let it go to avoid stressing her out further? | Girl I've been seeing is busy with school, I'm giving her space. When we do hang out she still seems a little distant. Should I ask her about this or not. |
t3_2tru4r | relationships | Me [16F] with my ex-boyfriend [18 M] 10 months, just broke up because we are incompatible but love each other still, how do we remain best friends? | My ex-boyfriend and I had been together for ten months when we had a (very) mutual break up two days ago. The reason being that we were constantly arguing and it was beginning to make me depressed. When I told him this he decided to end things with me because he could see I was unhappy and didn't want our relationship to drag on and on.
Yesterday I wrote him a letter telling him how much I loved him and didn't want to lose my best friend because of our relationship etc etc and when he read it when we had a talk last night he agreed wholeheartedly that we couldn't lose our friendship because of a break up.
I am still in love with him and I believe he is with me, but I am hoping that these feelings will pass with time and we can focus on building our friendship.
Basically, I am unsure of how to go about remaining friends with him whilst we still love each other, but I know that being apart from him is something I would not be able to do as he is the one person I can confide in and trust.
Any idea of how I could go about being friends with him without our love complicating things? Getting back together is, for the moment, out of question. And not something either of us would consider doing. | my boyfriend and I just broke up because I was beginning to become depressed due to the constant fighting. We still love each other and want to stay best friends. How do I go about this? Is it even possible? |
t3_3yh03s | relationships | I (28/F) am not sure how to proceed after my dad (60/M) spent $350 on perfume for me. | My dad buys me perfume every other year. This year, I asked for the same perfume I always do, along with a few other things. Christmas came and I received several wonderful presents, including perfume. However, this fragrance is one I don't generally wear - it's the same brand, but a different fragrance. My dad offhandedly mentioned how expensive it was, but I assumed that this fragrance costs the same as my perfume.
Today, I went to the store to exchange it and discovered that this version was $350. I have no clue why my dad spent that much when he's bought me perfume for years and therefore, presumably knows how much it costs. However, I exchanged the perfume and left with my perfume and a gift card for the remaining balance.
I'm seeing him for lunch on Tuesday and plan to give him the gift card with the remaining balance and explain what happened. However, my mom thinks I should just keep the money - he willingly spent it, so why give it back? I don't like this idea at all, but am curious if I'm making the right decision. In addition, is there anything I should say when I discuss this with him? I want to ensure that he doesn't feel embarrassed or silly, so anything that I could say that would alleviate those concerns would be helpful.
Relevant info:
* He is retired, but receives a yearly six figure "salary" (government employee) and he has no outstanding debts, etc.
* He is mentally sharp and therefore, I know he wasn't pressured by the salesperson to spend so much
* My parents have been divorced for a long time and my dad spends money/buys me presents to show his love/atone for his guilt | Dad accidentally bought me some ridiculously expensive perfume and I exchanged it for my preferred scent (which costs significantly less). Now have a $200 gift card that my mom doesn't think I should give to him. |
t3_3uizqt | relationships | Gf [23, F] broke up with me [23, m] after I had booked a flight to see her. (xpost /r/longdistance) | My gf and I have been dating for almost 4 years now. After 2 1/2, she ended it because it got too serious for her. We got back six months later and have dated since then.
However, I moved away for school in August, and she started a new job in another state. That job was really stressful, no weekends off, and one day off during the week. I ended up being the one paying for trips to see her every month.
My family got in the way of see her for Thanksgiving as they came to visit, and I was hesitant about saying yes to visit her for Christmas because I wanted to go see my cousins and grandparents back home.
We had a fight which lasted two weeks, but after visiting her again, we decided on me staying a week around New Years.
Less than a week after me booking this flight and confirming with her, she breaks up with me saying it's too stressful, and she's no longer confident about this relationship as I am.
As soon as the words breakup came out of her mouth, I booked another flight to see her next weekend. She didn't know. That was Monday. I got drunk Tuesday and blacked out, not talking to her till Wednesday. I told her about the flight next week, but she didn't say anything.
Today I sent a text asking "how are you?" and she called saying that she won't see me when I come next week and she'll avoid me.
I'm destroyed. I don't want to be the crazy ex. I want to save my relationship but I don't think that's even an option. I'm out almost $800+ on flights, not including transport to and from the airport. I don't know where to turn and how to pick myself up after this.
The last time we broke up, I let it happen, I ended up being hospitalised (preexisting health conditions) and ended up hating her. I don't want to just let it go this time. But how do I fight for it, while not crossing that line and being an obsessive ex? | ex broke up with me one week after I booked a flight to see her. Ended up booking another flight to see her next weekend and she told me she doesn't want to see me. |
t3_m1k1z | AskReddit | Is it weird that I enjoyed high school more than I've enjoyed college so far? | I'm not a freshman.
Socially, I was far happier in high school than I've been in college so far. I was able to survive in HS because it was easy for me to socialize with people outside of my school, whereas in college it feels like I'm trapped with the same demographic of people I was to some extent trying to escape in HS.
HS was also easier for me because there was a specific group of people I knew right from freshman year I knew I wanted to become friends with, and I did, gradually over time. Since they were all involved with stuff outside of school, like the local music scene, it was through them that I built a way bigger social circle of close friends.
Now at college, I haven't had anything close to that experience. I haven't really found anyone I really relate to. And I've also slowly realized that the type of people I'm socially attracted to don't really go to college, at least not expensive private ones.
Part of my problem is that I've had *close* friends for so long, that I've forgotten what it's like to not have them. And so for a lot of people I meet I think to myself, "is this person best friend material?" when I know it's just counter productive.
I've also realized that in HS, I became dependent on the company of extreme extroverts, who socially advertise the type of people they, and I, are interested in, but I'm not used to attracting on my own, since I'm not really like the type of person I'm interested in being around. I like the company of people who are outwardly unabashedly weird, and really only care about making any situation fun, regardless f whether or not it's immature, both characteristics I really don't share. I enjoy the company of people who aren't like me who make life more interesting and force me out of my shell. | I liked highschool more than college. I like to be around extroverted weirdos. I'm neither of those things. |
t3_3qu9fy | relationships | My[32/M] friends have concerns about my [21/F] girlfriend of 2 years' sexual proclivities. How do I reassure them? | My girlfriend has, in the last 6 months, become much more sexually confident and keen to experiment. Her libido is significantly higher than mine (she wants sex 2-3 times a day at least while i'm more of a couple of times a week) and over the last six months she became more vocal about her desire to have sex with other people but finding her jealous streak made it difficult to offer the same to me. I don't really have any interest in doing so in either case and so long as we are equal in the relationship (our sexual limits are respected equally) I agreed to go with the flow. Since then she has had sex with a number of other people in and outside of our social circle and has made it known to others what our agreement is. As a result I now have a number of friends who have decided that she is using me and I am being weak by going along with this? I've tried to reassure them that I feel equal in the relationship but they seem to think i'm simply going along with it for an easy life. | Girlfriend has sex with others, I don't. Friends think i'm being used. How do I persuade them otherwise? |
t3_4whhw9 | relationships | [M/21] Need advice on wether or not I should write a text to my ex girlfriend. | So recently my ex girlfriend broke up with me and I was devastated. I thought to myself and I blamed everything on her, but somehow I got a spiritual awakening today and I realized I was contributing to the relationship end as much as she did. I did a lot of things wrong, I already started making changes in my life and I feel great. Thanks to her break up I feel like I am stronger and more connected to my heart. I would like to write her a message and thank her for leaving me because it was one of the best experiences I ever felt because now I have started my journey of becoming the best version of myself. I feel like I must thank her in some way. Do you think I should write to her in some weeks or I should not write to her at all? | Ex girlfriend broke up with me, it was one of the best things ever happening in my life, now I am a better person thanks to that experience, should I write a letter to her and thank her for that? |
t3_3sid1y | relationships | Me [22 M] with my close friend [22 F] who now doesnt care about me at all | I moved to a new city and got pretty close to a person at work. It was clear neither of us was interested in the other, so we were close in a platonic way. We'd chat on messenger and work IM all the time, and we'd hang out at work during our breaks plenty. We also hungout outside of work. As we got closer we started to share more personal things because it just felt right.
Then one week I felt really down. I just graduated college and moved to a new city (first time ive ever done this on my own). Im going through some big life transitions, and I talked to her about it. I told her that I kind of wish I prepared myself for the real world better because sometimes its a lot for me to get adjusted to. I feel a lot of pressure sometimes due to these life transitions. I told her I sometimes feel immature and theres some things id like to improve going jnto adulthood like people skills. We met for coffee and talked about it for an hour a couple weeks ago. Coincidentally, this was the same point she started hitting it off with her ex.
Ever since things just havent been the same. Its like she just wants me out of her life at this point. At first she told me that the talk she had with me during my down week was overwhelming. Ever since shes just been pushing me away. She is very cold to me now and clearly does not care much about me. At this point i wish i never opened up to her, it really sucks to put a lot of trust into someone to have them kick you to the curb essentially.
Did I fuck up by sharing too much? Is she justified in her actions? Its been pretty damn hard on me since this is my first time in a new city and im also getting used to big life transitions. She was my one close friend out here. How do I go about handling this and making it easier on myself? | got close to a friend. Shared some pretty personal things with her because I trusted her. Now she doesnt care much about me. Did I fuck up? How do I make this easier on myself? |
t3_393udp | relationships | Friend (F22) of mine (F22) just had baby, lying to the "father" (M24) | I have a friend who I've known since the 7th grade. She was my only friend since everyone else bullied us. We have kept in touch over the years and still talk.
She just had a baby girl a couple days ago. She confided in me that her boyfriend is not the father, but he thinks he is. She told me she has no plan of ever telling him that he is not the father. She cheated on her boyfriend with another close guy friend of hers and got pregnant. She never told her current boyfriend about the affair, so he has no idea. She is 100% certain the baby is not his, but she wants the perfect family, and she envisions it with him.
Problem is, her and I are more distant friends at this point. We don't hang out in person; we talk using messaging. I've never met her boyfriend either. I'm not sure if it's okay for me to say something.
I'm not sure what to do at this point. Do I just leave the situation alone? Do I say something to him? Since we are not close friends, I feel like it might be better to not say anything and let him find out on his own. But another part of me feels guilty if I say nothing. | An old friend of mine just had a baby, and is lying to her boyfriend that the baby is his. She has no plans of ever telling him about it. |
t3_3401f3 | relationships | I [27 M] never loved my wife [27 F] 6 years | This has always been in the back of my mind and it only seems to get worse as time progresses. I met my wife 6 years ago and we started dating right out the gate. The relationship escalated too quickly and we ended up pregnant. At 21, I was still just a kid scared shitless. I didn't truly understand what was waiting for me, but I talked to family and friends and decided that we could somehow manage to make it work.
Well, here I am 6 years later with a single child and married to a woman that I never loved and never can love. I don't mean to sound like a prick, but it's just something that's not there. She has my loyalty as her child's father, but beyond that I cannot honestly give myself to her.
She often asks me about how I'm feeling toward her; if I love her. I respond with a quick lie and reassure her that everything will be alright. The worst part of all this is that she's a terrific wife and mother. She loves me deeply and I can tell she cares for our family.
I know I'm not the first to experience this, and there may be some people living this life right now. The best way to describe how I'm feeling right now is it's like I've built a dam to contain all my emotions, insecurities, and whatever else that could possibly threaten the security of my family, but every day that passes leaves a small crack in my wall. I feel like I'll eventually have to confess what I'm really feeling to my wife.
My daughter is the only reason I haven't gotten a divorce or even spoke to my wife about my feelings. I feel like the worst thing I could do to my daughter is separate with her mother. How can a child cope with that and not blame themselves?
I'm so conflicted. Just looking for anything or anyone out there. | I don't love my wife, but I don't want to break up my family because of my daughter. What do I do? |