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Something You Probably Don't Know : I am starting a drug addiction treatment center. We have a psychiatrist on staff. Spoke to her today about bipolar disorder. What I heard is what we all should hear.
1) Bipolar depression is far more severe than regular, run-of-the-mill depression. Some of the descriptive words she used to describe it really drove it home for me and reminded me of some of my darkest days. I can't remember the exact words but she indicated it is far more destructive, steals your soul, ability to function, full of "melancholy", and is unforgiving. That she could see the life sucked out of some of her bipolar patients and that this wasn't the case with depression normally.
2) We should not be told to lower our expectations in life with our diagnosis. We should celebrate it. That it is a double edged sword - like many things in life - and if you learn to take care of it so it doesn't develop into an illness, you are lucky to have bipolar disorder.
3) Bipolar disorder is characterized by intelligence, humor, and depth to character. Especially once we've gone through depression. She seemed to think that our way of paying for being above average is the potential for horrific health issues.
4) ECT should be considered strongly as an option if depression gets too destructive. That it is incredibly effective to fix you short-term and enable you to take care of yourself for longer-term treatment. It scares the hell out of me but I thought I'd pass it along.
5) I was encouraged to have a backup medication for when mania becomes uncontrollable or those around me notice serious warning signs. *I was told not to be so stark in recommending a specific medication, but her advice to consider Zyprexa has lined up with my own experiences as the best drug out there for me to get my mind to quiet down. Everyone will have different experiences with meds but I'd like to at least mention Zyprexa by name because she was rather clear about it. As always, talk and listen to your doctor, as I'm a stranger on the internet.*
I know it might be hard for those of you in depression to read some of this, and for that I'm sorry. But know that there are better days ahead of you. I believe in you.
It's nice that I have a resource of knowledge like this working with me at our new healthcare center. We don't treat bipolar disorder (yet) but she has treated it for many years.
I'll add to this if I can remember more tomorrow. Exhausted. Goodnight! | 2bipolar
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Going back to your doc after a year of no compliance be like... : ..."I am really happy to see you again."
My neurologist said that. To me!
I was SO anxious and ashamed and procrastinated that visit for ages. I knew I had to take meds again, I just couldn't face it all.
So today, after over a fortnight of daily struggle, I did it. I went to my doc to get meds again.
The receptionist criticised me for coming in without an appointment and for not being compliant in the past. I think she wanted to send me away again, but then the doc came out and told her to squeeze me in anyway. 20 minutes later I sat in front of him.
He said he could understand how I came to be so averse to taking meds and caring for myself. He said it was good that I was ready to work on myself again and asked if I had thought about what kind of medication I would be willing to take. He agreed with me and drew up a medication plan that followed my wishes.
He was awesome.
Now let's just hope that the new cocktail does what it's supposed to do and that the side effects won't kick in too hard.
I just wanted to let you all know that IT'S OKAY. Even if you cared for nothing and noone, successfully offended and drew away people you love, even if you were outright refusing to take any meds or go to any therapy - there is a way open for you to get on track.
And that way doesn't necessarily come with shame and accusations and guilt.
It can also come with your doctor telling you that he is happy to see you. :) | 2bipolar
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A man walked into a bar with a newt on his shoulder... : The bartender remarked at the newt. "What's the newt's name?" he asked. "Tiny," replied the man.
"Why would you name the newt tiny?"
The man replied "Because he's *my newt.*" | 5none
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A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. : He’s telling a dumb-blonde joke when a young platinum-haired woman jumps to her feet.
“What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?” she demands. “What does hair color have to do with my worth as a human being?”
Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer out an apology.
“You keep out of this!” she yells. "I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!” | 5none
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How did christianity root out polytheism in Europe so successfully? : Prior to christianity Europe was full of different animistic-polytheistic religions. Yet christianity was able to root out most of these. There seems to be a trend where whole nations worth of people converted to christianity. I have not heard that this was the case with various polytheistic religions.
When nations adopoted christianity willingly, then what was it that made it so appealing? For example why did the majority of nordic people eventually choose to adopt chritianity instead of the old religion (which was culturally much closer to home).
When nations were converted by force then what was it that made it stick and why was that not the case the other way around? I would assume that throughout history non-christian people managed to conquer christian territories, yet for the most part the people there did not switch to animistic-polytheistic religions.
I would assume that christianity has a lot in common with islam in this regard, as islam too was very good at spreading over animistic-polytheistic religions. Yet for some reason both islam and christianity have hard time converting believers from each other. | 5none
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Does it get better? : 10 years of constant anger, fear and panic, 10 years being treated like the devil for my symptoms. No matter where I go or what I do, it happens, does it get better? In not sure I can do this for much longer | 7ptsd
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I figured out a hack for making data entry easier for me using excel ‘speak cells’. : Ok, so constantly at my jobs Im always using tricks to keep me from missing or forgetting stuff.
Recently, at my new job I need to do data entry from handwritten notes to excel. I learned how to do the number pad but would always make a couple mistakes here or there so I got anxious and had to double check all my work constantly, and heres where the problems started.
My brain refuses to focus on me double checking, it does not want to go over the same piece of work multiple times, so every time I would look from the paper to the screen, I would forget what line I was on or the number or get distracted mid glance and be lost for a few minutes before remembering I was in the middle of something.
Then after a weird accident where the accessibility narrator turned on on my computer and I had to figure out how to turn it off, I got an idea that maybe I could use this to narrate my data entry sets so I wouldn’t have to perpetually glance from the screen to my paper, and low and behold, Excel actually has its own function for this called ‘Speak Cells’.
Now after a set of data I can highlight the section and instead of the constant glancing between two things, where the chances of distraction/boredom is high, I can focus on the one thing and excel tells me if its correct.
It’s not a perfect solution as sometimes my brain still gets bored looking at the one thing waiting for the next cell, but it’s significantly better than it was before and I wanted to share because maybe someone else has a similar same problem and can use a similar solutions. | 0adhd
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Birth Control Question for my fellow Bi-Hoe-lars : I know there's been many a discussion aboot medication and birth control here but I couldn't seem to find any that answered my questions so I apologize for the repost.
I'm 25 with BP2 and have been able to manage it pretty well for a long time with Lamyctal. I know that there's a big issue for us lady crazies between this specific medication and effectiveness of birth control. Long story short:
-tried a whole bunch of pills and none of them have worked in the way we had hoped (no babies-so great success, very nice but also weight gain, destabilized moods, etc.)
-unable to do the shot as I had a bad reaction
-tried the IUD before and it causes a vasovagal reaction and stops working effectively for me after a few months
-my gynos are wildly unhelpful when it comes to helping guide me through more complex needs as a woman with mental health needs as well
I have a super supportive long term partner and we're obviously using protection before anyone just says to wrap it before he taps it. My hormones seem to have a huge effect on my moods and although bc hasn't worked as well as I'd like, I certainly have a much easier time when I have had some hormonal balance and a continuous form to even them out. I know that everyone's body is different but I was wondering if anyone has managed to find a hormonal pill that works well in conjunction with their meds and alternatively any pills they've tried that have been totally terrible. Has anyone tried the hormonal patch? I'm considering trying that next given that it seems to bypass the lamotrigine issue and then skipping the off week and going straight to another patch. Does anyone have experience with that?
In conclusion...thank you in advance. You're all awesome, take your meds, give yourself a hug and drink some goddamn water today you thirsty bitch. | 2bipolar
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I just wanted to talk about my nice day somewhere! My first nice Thanksgiving in 5 years! [violence tw] : Thanksgiving of 2016 was the worst day of my life. My best friend and the person I was living to take care of fell into some alcohol induced psychosis and tried to murder me. After hours of being beat, cut, and strangled while fighting for my life the cops came and beat my friend bloody in front of me and took him out on a stretcher, screaming.
Though I've worked through a lot of the trauma, Thanksgiving has always been a very hard day for me and I spend it alone in my bed. But today I was brave enough to accept a friends invitation to their family Thanksgiving (my family lives far away). They were so nice and sweet and I had an absolutely wonderful day cooking and eating with them. I felt so loved.
And now this is how I'm gonna think of Thanksgiving! The bad stuff doesn't get to live in my mind rent free anymore. | 2bipolar
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I’m sick of my head always feeling cloudy : I used to have severely bad adhd as a kid, I did terrible in school and was often called space cadet for my symptoms. Now that I’m somehow in college, I’m able to maintain good grades and stay hyper focused while taking tests and doing projects, it feels nice to think sharply. But what is irritating is how my mind seems to just go blurry, I can’t focus on a single thing, heck I’m struggling so hard to wright this rn because I keep losing my train of thought. I stopped taking medication due to bad side effects when I was a kid, and have managed to be successful without them, but sometimes feel that i should get back on them. Anyone else feel this way!? | 0adhd
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"There MUST be a reason" : Does anyone else feel like medical providers and therapists give you the side eye when you say you have no idea what triggered your anxiety? For me, most of the time, the extremes usually show up out of nowhere. Of course, there have been times when it's triggered by something, but most of the time I'm clueless. | 1anxiety
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How much was Rome impacted by the Achaemenid Empire? : So I have been reading about Achaemenid Empire and the legacy it had on the world. However, most sources I have read seems to be vague about how the Romans Laws and Military were impacted. So I was wondering if anybody knew about how the Achaemenid Empire impacted Rome. | 5none
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Was France justified in invading North Africa in the 1800s after suffering from centuries of pirate raids at the hands of the Barbary States of the Ottoman Empire? : I'm curious what people think about France's imperialist expansion into North Africa and if any historians consider it a defensive action in response to coastal raiding and piracy. Any country that had been subjected to organized raiding from known ports surely can make a just case for military intervention to end the aggression. | 5none
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Diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder today. : I knew that i was suffering from this for ages now.
Have always had issues with anxiety, but it took me till i was 33 to actually tell anybody what was going on with me.
I had nervous tics as a child brought on by by uncontrollable fear and anxiety.
Used to lick the sides of my mouth till they were bleeding and perform the same movements with my fingers so much that the skin between the fingers ripped open and bled.
Back then i was diagnosed with tics, but no treatment. Lord knows why not, but it got better on its own.
My mother has a terminal illness and i held on for over a year, but more and more i felt my control slipping.
I didnt want to talk to anyone about it, because i was ashamed and afraid that people would treat me differently.
Told my doctor today and all my fears were unfounded. He instantly understood, showed great interest in finding ways to help me and discussed potential medication we could go with.
After some back and forth we decided to go with Venlafaxine against the anxiety and trimipramine if i cant sleep.
He said that if i am not happy with those we can always try something else and that psychotherapy is always available to me if i need someone to talk to.
Stepping out of that doctors office i felt like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders.
The first step is over with. | 1anxiety
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Were Scottish clans essentially petty kingdoms? : They held land (some had a LOT of land) across Scotland, possessed castles on this land, had a governing body and a militia/army. At what point is a clan considered a kingdom? I understand the clan system differs from that of the feudal system but there are way to many similarities compared to differences. Thanks! | 5none
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I feel like everyone is looking at me, silently judging my behaviour and my looks : Everytime I go out, especially in public transport and while walking on the street, I feel like I'm being judged by a hundred faceless strangers, overanalyzing my behaviour and making fun of the little awkward things I do. Being really (really) tall doesn't fucking help me at all, because when I stand up from my seat in the bus/subway everyone's heads and eyes turn at me like I'm some kind of bright neon sign that says LOSER.
Do I know that this is bullshit and nobody really does this? Yes. But do I fucking feel weird while trying to read and analyze all these people's faces and reactions at the same time? Abso-motherfucking-lutely. What are they thinking about me? Am I walking funny? My arms swing too fast when I walk. Or too slowly? My steps are too big. I bet my backpack is open right now and no one is telling me. My hat looks pathetic, I need to take it off. Wait, so does my hair. Well... fuck. | 1anxiety
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I Just Said "I Should Just Die" Out Loud At Work : I dont think anyone heard me, but Im worried because the last few days have been pretty rough and though I say this to myself a lot in private, this is the first time it uncontrollably manifested itself in public.
I dont have any plans nor am I making any for self harm or suicide, but this feels like a sign things arent getting better.
edit: the only reason I posted this here is because it has stemmed from social anxiety and not being able to live down some mistakes I have made recently, no matter how minor people have said they were
| 1anxiety
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Was finally able to pet my dog :’) : I’ve been having a lot of trouble interacting w my dogs lately bc of ocd like if I pick them up I might shower after bc they’re dirty but one of them got a bath and a haircut and I was finally able to pick him up and hug him naturally w o feeling anxious it meant so much to me | 6ocd
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Dae feel like they're a fake person : Like I just feel like a shell of a person, just a mix of toxic personality traits. That's it. That's all there is to me.
I don't struggle to make friends, but I do struggle to keep them. Same for relationships. People are immediately drawn to me and adore me, but once they realise i'm 2 dimensional they leave. Beyond the basic facade i've created there's nothing deeper. I have an image I project into the world in a desperate attempt to seem worthwhile. I like art and yoga. I'm vegan. I change my hair colour constantly and do heavy colourful makeup looks. I put so much effort into creating a shell that looks interesting, built up of other people i've met and admire.
It goes further than my appearance though. I lie and perpetuate a false image of my personality. I pretend i'm kind and loving, that I go above and beyond for people. I have no backbone, do anything anyone asks, constantly check up on those around me, constantly offer support, spoil people with heartfelt gifts and gestures. But beneath all that i'm cold and spiteful, if someone hurts me I very quickly turn nasty and vicious. I feel I act falsey nice in an attempt to cover the fact i'm actually like horrific.
I genuinely have no idea who I am. I don't think i'm anyone. I think i'm an empty sad person. I can dress my shell up in the most interesting way possible, I can go out of my way to create hobbies for myself, I can go above and beyond for everyone, being the nicest, sweetest person in the world. But in reality it's all fake and i'm just a detached, depressed mess.
Dunno. Just a thought. Wondering if anyone else feels like this or if i'm genuinely just a waste of space with nothing to offer. | 3bpd
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I feel fake because I internalize everything. : Resources for loved ones of a BPD sufferer, ruined/strained relationships, obvious symptoms & signs.
None of these even remotely apply to me. I internalize everything. Ever since I was a young kid I was basically taught to internalize every negative emotion I ever felt, so I did. If I get mad at something arbitrary, I don't burst right there and yell at someone, I go lock myself in my room and rant to myself for hours and throw things. I've ruined every relationship I've ever had sure, but I don't have any anymore. I keep away from people. If anyone wants to get close to me I don't let them, so I won't make new friends. My impulses are mostly financial & eating-related and I can hide those really well. Self harm too, I never wear anything that exposes my legs and I've made that into a habit that nobody questions anymore. And if they do? "Oh well I can just never find shorts that fit me, and short skirts make me nervous"
I feel really fake sometimes or like I don't "really" have bpd because it's not noticeable. Nobody would look at me and think I'm fucked up. I don't need therapy or hospitalization because I'm just "fine". My family (who I live with) think everything is fine. I hate it sometimes, but I guess it's sort of convenient? Idk. Fuck me. | 3bpd
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24 girl feeling like I never deeply delved into anything and have lived superficially : Anyone else feels that way? I'm highly suicidal because of it. Have never done extensive research on anything, pushed myself in a hobby or felt passionate. I've appeared to others as an intellectual and melomaniac, since I read books and have known a couple of underground bands and musicians. I also sing well and know a bit of guitar playing but never felt inspiration to pursue an artistic road. I'll go to documentary screenings, conferences, have been a volunteer at an art coop. But I go through the motions without feeling attached to anything. Nothing has grabbed me.
Thing is, I mostly hoard books but don't read much, and I don't listen to music anymore although I have hoarded a terabyte of it in my hard drive. Never have listened to a lot of it. I'll open up or save a bunch of articles that seem interesting on Facebook and never read them. It's as if nothing resonates with me. Fills me with a sense of glee or wonder. I've done just enough to keep up appearances but whenever alone I'll just listen to series and waste time away. I also have memory issues. I don't remember times spent with friends. I barely remember anything from childhood and adolescence. I feel empty. Like I don't have the capacity to build myself. You know the saying "you don't find yourself, you create yourself"?
Please tell me I'm not alone. I don't know how to push through this empty spot. I wish I could go to a therapy center but it doesn't exist. :'( | 3bpd
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Biggest backfires in history? : When a plan goes well, it's satisfying. When a plan goes horribly wrong, its *hilarious*.
One example that comes to mind is the killing of the Mongol envoys by the Khwarezmid Empire, leading to it's total destruction. Another that comes to mind is the rampant inflation caused by the Spanish Empire importing as much silver as they did.
| 5none
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An old man sat studying on a bench near the Kremlin : A KGB agent walking by looked at him suspiciously
but passed by
But an hour and 2 more times passing later the agent asked "Why are u sitting here so long and what are u doing?
Old man replied "I am an old man and Don't expect to live much longer. I want to go to heaven and as u know they speak Hebrew in heaven so I am learning the language now
To this the agent replied "Ha if u go to hell? Then what?"
The old man replied "I am already fluent in Russian" | 5none
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Me: im tired. Lets go to sleep. Brain: do you remember that one rabbit hole from 47 days ago? : Ill just lay down and cuddle with my wife. Then ill get the munchies. Then ill wonder what is happening with world politics. Then ill watch the aww subreddit for about 32 mins and 40 seconds. Then ill browse a game subreddit or two. Then ill check on YouTube for a new video from primitive technology (turn captions on). Then ill watch some blacksmithing videos from a youtuber (Alex Steele). Then ill wonder what SpaceX is doing now. Ill finally get up and get my munchies ive been wanting for almost 2 hours. But ill forget my water downstairs and a forget a light on. But ill be back watching about how ants form tunnels and super colonies.
Please brain. Shut the front door. Let me sleep!!! I wish you could toggle a sleep setting like you can for computers.
My wife has been threatening to knock me out with some hard drinks. I might agree just to get some sleep. Thank goodness im a lightweight.
Edit. Goodnight yall.
Im hungry tho.... | 0adhd
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I don't have depression but I can't take it anymore. : I gonna be honest I can't take it anymore. I don't wanna die, But....I don't wanna live either. It feels like I do not belong In this world. | 4depression
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I was just thinking... : I was first diagnosed with bpd but since I’m such a “good person” and cause so little trouble all my psychiatrists and doctors have fought that diagnosis. Even my therapist pushes for me to see it’s c-ptsd. My point here is that because I’m so well behaved I can’t be bpd since all people with bpd are horrible people. It’s such a shitty stigma and it makes me so angry people can assume so much about someone based on a diagnosis. | 3bpd
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I wish i was special. You're so fucking special. : does anyone else feels like this? it's so cliche, but describe exactly how i feel
[creep](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFkzRNyygfk)
I'm always feels like this when like someone. when like very much someone. it's so intense and desperate. | 3bpd
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Does anyone else hate themselves after being social : Whenever I hangout with people, normally new people, I come home and I fucking hate myself. I blab and overshare, I can be hyper, I feel like I’m way too much, but I’m having the best time while I’m out. But it’s when I come home that I rethink my behaviour and feel embarrassed that I allowed myself to be so loose and carefree. | 3bpd
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I’ve lost so much of my life : I feel like I’ve destroyed all my relationships and everything I like about myself just to keep myself “safe” I hate this disorder so much. I just want to be normal | 6ocd
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Were there nazi-supporters in the USA during Hitlers reign? : Lately I've been seeing a lot of articles about Nazis and white nationalists in the US, and I can't help but wonder, when did this happen?" Public school history books taught me that America was unanimously against Hitler and his Nazi cult, but I'm not so sure now. | 5none
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I just got my diagnoses for BPD : I got diagnosed with BPD by my psychologist last Saturday. I was fully aware before I got diagnosed, that there was a possibility I had it. Though actually hearing her say that I have it hit me a lot harder than I expected. I have been sleeping a lot, and not taking care of myself the best since she told me. She mentioned I need to find a healthy routine to stick with, and I am struggling with even the smallest things that should be routine for me. This is all very new to me in the last year; the amount of emotions im experiencing hour to hour, and the thoughts that run with them.
My hopes are falling very low. I watched the way I destroyed my last relationship with self sabotage and I do not want to do that with future relationships or friendships. I crave connection, and to learn from other people. Sometimes I get in these moods where I absolutely don’t want to be around anyone or I don’t want to talk to anyone. I worry so much about how the people I care about perceive me. I worry about my BPD getting in the way of having healthy relationships because I am so push and pull all of the time. Yet I crave closeness to other people so much.
I guess I am just asking for anyone older (I am 21) please I need some kind of hope that it gets better if I keep trying and believe that it will. I need some kind of reassurance that its possible for someone with BPD to be able to learn and maintain emotional and thinking regulation. I just- I am kind of a mess after hearing her tell me, its been a rough ride this past week. | 3bpd
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I overcame one of my last barriers!! : I just wanted to boast a little. I’ve only recently been diagnosed with OCD (within the last 12 months) but anxiety and obsession has ruled my life for years.
I’ve been getting better within the last few months. Treatment, medication, support. It’s been difficult at times, but I’m better now than I have been for a long time.
I’ve been ‘reclaiming’ the things anxiety stopped me doing. Little by little.
One of the final things was the cinema.
A lot of my anxiety is around other people and physical contact. I couldn’t be in the dark and not be able to control if someone was going to touch me.
But..
On Sunday night I went to the movies! I sat by the wall and my partner sat on my other side but I went. I didn’t have a panic attack, I sat and I enjoyed the movie and I went home.
Nothing bad happened. I didn’t throw up. No one touched me. I didn’t obsess that they might.
(Another of my compulsions is skin picking and I left the movie bleeding in two places but still. I’m focusing on the victory).
I feel like finally I’m winning. Step by step. I’m taking my life back.
So yes a boast. But maybe encouragement to take that step.
Also deadpool 2 is awesome. | 6ocd
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How the fuck does everyone deal with this day in day out : I’m feeling so burnt out trying to control my emotions trying to mask day in and day out trying to be the best dad I can be an not flip out on co workers then being sad the next week and going on a shopping dopamine chase the next (I’m un medicated) | 2bipolar
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What are your favorite historical date comparisons (e.g., Virginia was founded in 1607 when Shakespeare was still alive). : In a recent Reddit post someone posted information comparing dates of events in one country to other events occurring simultaneously in other countries. This is something that teachers never did in high school or college (at least for me) and it puts such an incredible perspective on history.
Another example the person provided - "Between 1613 and 1620 (around the same time as Gallielo was accused of heresy, and Pocahontas arrived in England), a Japanese Samurai called Hasekura Tsunenaga sailed to Rome via Mexico, where he met the Pope and was made a Roman citizen. It was the last official Japanese visit to Europe until 1862."
What are some of your favorites?
| 5none
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Can you explain what ptsd feels like to you? And if you found a way "out"? : For me
ptsd feels like I my old self died and I have not found a new self. My body is extremely irritated all the time, I'm anxious, confused, distracted in thought, don't enjoy things I used to. It's a real hellstorm shitty part is people just leave or you leave. I for example get panic at work or shopping so I try to stay home as much as possible sounds fucked but I don't remember feeling like I'm the only person or is there a person living inside myself
Feeling like I don't love people or it's hard to feel connected to anyone, boyfriend etc...
Drinking or using medication to calm my body down when I can't breath
I just want to know how it's going for other people ? Feeling lost here
Thx | 7ptsd
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heavy chest : First of all. Im sorry for my wording as im not native.
OK so for about like 3 months now ive had that thing if i forget anything like if i wanted to google something or shit and if i forget it my breathing gets heavy and i feel like my chest gets heavier or someone is sitting on it. It nearly feels like a panic attack but not 100%. Is there anyone with the same thing or am i alone with that. | 7ptsd
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Fuck everything : I don’t even know what to write, I’ve written out and deleted the post so many times.
I’m extremely overwhelmed, angry and sad. I’m over it all and I want to do is sleep/hide for an indefinite amount of time.
I just had a huge argument with my teenager and even though I know I was in the right, I should have pulled back sooner. I could hear myself but I just couldn’t shut my stupid fucking mouth.
Now I feel like shit and I want to cry, but I won’t because if I start crying I feel like it won’t stop. | 3bpd
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I'm Going to Get Fired : I cut myself on a rusty piece of bedframe while helping a friend move last Wednesday. The cut turned into a stupid staph infection and I missed work on Thursday and Friday as a result, on top of the general anxiety I usually feel every single week because of my PTSD.
Today, the company announced that, in an effort to limit the spread of illness, this entire workweek will be work-from-home.
I didn't get the email. I'm a contingent employee so I technically work for the company but don't get the same messages that full time, careered employees get.
I called in this morning, rushing to the office, assuring everyone that I would be there before the daily team report. I got to the office. No one was there. I opened my laptop and saw a majority of my coworkers questioning why I came into the office when the CTO sent an email encouraging everyone to work from home.
I'm not on that email list. I never got the email. I look like a f\*\*\*ing idiot because I desperately drove into to work on a conference call only to have people ask why I was stupid enough to enter the office.
I look like a dumbass who doesn't check his work e-mail and considering that the lost job I held, my managing supervisor called me into his office and said "Go home. Get your things from your desk, don't bother to format your desktop computer, we'll do that for me", with no warning whatsoever, I know that it's going to happen to me again.
My fiancee left me with no forewarning. I was fired from my previous job with no forewarning. I'm losing my job this week. I know it. | 7ptsd
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Does anyone else become anxious while trying to fall asleep because you never know who you’re going to be when you wake up? : Not necessarily that I don’t know *who* I’ll be but *how* I’ll be, I guess. I never know if I’m going to be ‘normal’, depressed, anxious, irrationally pissed off(for no reason or multiple reasons), numb, etc.
It’s like there are a few different versions of me and I never know which one I’ll be the next day. I can deal with most of them pretty well other than the irrationally pissed one - I’m still working on this area of myself.
BPD is so exhausting but I know I have to keep swimming. Healing is not linear❤️ | 3bpd
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Is it possible to get hospitalized with OCD? : Things have been so terrible lately with death/existential OCD, im scared all day every day about things I can’t control. The fear is so debilitating that I can’t properly take care of myself anymore and I don’t know what to do. I cant stand this fear anymore, it’s constant. I fear dying and I fear my own existence, It’s like my brain opened a can of worms it can’t close on its own
I don’t enjoy anything anymore and I feel completely trapped. Is it possible to be hospitalized for this? I feel I need intensive help to ever feel okay again but ive never been to a psych ward or anything so I don’t know whether this is a valid reason to get checked in | 6ocd
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I FINALLY ANSWERED A QUESTION!! : I raised my hand to answer a question after not talking at school for 2 years! I don't know if it was quarantine but I did it! | 1anxiety
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The constant need to escape :
I quit university, I quit full-time jobs before I even reach one year of employment, I almost quit life, I quit singing, I quit writing, I quit learning how to draw. My life is so meaningless it seems like I can abandon anything. Whenever I stay at one place, my heart yearns to run away and escape. The grass seemed greener on other places but here. I'm 25 and I'm scared I'm never going to learn how to settle. | 4depression
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Am I allowed here? : I have been a lifetime (42 years) victim of mental abuse and mental neglect. I have been diagnosed with PTSS and I am also HSP. I tried to look for a PTSS community but was unable to find one. This is the closest I got.
I hope I am welcome here for I have nowhere else to go. I am seeing a psychotherapist again in September but in the meantime I would like to see if reiki would ease my unrest. I am already doing meditation and started yoga as well. This helps the conscious mind to stay at ease but my subconscious mind is very restless. It hungers for my attention as it feeds of my fears. It haunts me during the day as well as the night. My body aches as I have been ignoring the signs from within. After my last physical collapse a few weeks ago I guess my subconscious flipped the switch and "forced" me to protect myself. Ever since I have been a day walker, meaning I don't think beyond the present day. I have started up mindfulness again and even yoga to build a base of calmness and conscious living. This works fine at the surface but as I explained the body is still screaming through physical discomfort.
Does anyone have experience with reiki and the subconscious mind? Any help would be greatly appreciated. | 7ptsd
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Dopamine addiction and procrastination : Do y’all ever just binge watch an entire season of a show, anime, spend hours on tiktok, etc even though you know you’re behind on your classes and have so many assessments/assignments due/overdue?
Somehow the thought of doing anything productive just scares me and makes me so anxious that I procrastinate to the highest level.
Im too addicted to milking the dopamine that all these stupid things produce in my dumb little brain I let everything slip through my fingers.
Its really frustrating having ADHD, especially when you have no clue and have no help in trying to figure it all out and get medication for it | 0adhd
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According to the 'Dream Stele' The Great Sphinx was buried up to it's neck in sand before the reign of Thutmose IV, what are the chances that other unknown monuments still exist in good condition, but have been buried and forgotten by time? : I'm sure this get's asked a lot, but the idea of such large structures existing underfoot while walking though a desert obviously inspires a lot of wonder.
I'm not necessarily limiting my question to just that of the desert, but I imagine the rolling dunes of a desert might provide the best chance of structures being buried and preserved. | 5none
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Is anybody else extremely triggered by the election? : I don't want to start a political debate. But as a rape survivor, I am having a hard time coping with our president being somebody who has openly admitted to sexual assault. Is anybody else in the same boat? I would love for some people to talk to about this. I need support right now | 7ptsd
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How to deal with the thought that every person hates you? : I live alone and have no close friends, but some ‘acquaintances’ whom I really admire. But it hurts me to be around them and everyone else, because I feel like I am a burden and the most disgusting person on Earth to be around and they only talk to me out of pity. I then distance myself from everyone I like so that I’m not a burden, but then get upset that nobody cares to connect with me to the point of wanting to kill myself.
I would never go through with it though, because that would be an even bigger burden for everyone. I wish I could though. This pain is immovable and affects my work, self care, responsibilities, etc.
I have gone through bouts of extreme spending to try and feel better, thus can no longer afford therapy. How can someone live with knowing they’ll never form a true human connection? | 3bpd
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Guilt... : I have so much trouble differentiating from things that are normal to not tell people and things I should tell people. It gets to the point where I don't know if it's something I should confess to my parents/friends and it eats away at me. I feel like such a terrible person, I just want to die. Can anyone relate?? | 6ocd
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Everything breaks and it's fucking annoying. : I broke so many countless things in the past by dropping them or wearing them out to the point of no use. All my xbox 360 controllers are worn out and the joysticks don't work. I dropped my brand new 500 dollar tablet 1 day prior to getting a new case and now it has a huge dent at the edge. I spilled coffee on my keyboard and now the Keyes are sticky. I fucking give up. Is there something wrong with me? | 0adhd
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A man gets a peanut stuck firmly in his ear and no matter how hard his wife tries, they cannot get it out... : Just as they’re about to give up, their daughter arrives home with her boyfriend. When they hear what has happened the boyfriend tells them confidently that he knows how to get it out.
He sticks 2 fingers up the man’s nose and tells him to blow as hard as he can. The man does this and the peanut pops out.
Sometime later the parents are talking and mum comments, “Our Vera’s got a clever boyfriend there. I wonder what will become of him.”
“I’ll tell you one thing, by the smell of his fingers, he’ll be our son-in-law,” came the reply. | 5none
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I wish he could come back : I lost my big brother last September and I am very sad. I tried talking to people but nothing seems to be helping nobody knows what to say. I cry every single day. It's like my heart is bursting into pieces every time I think about him. The fact that he is not coming back. I miss him so much. I am depressed and can't get out. Everyday every single second I am thinking about him. I can't even imagine a world without him, I haven't accepted it yet. I can't, I don't want to. It was an accident and they found the body on the third day, we couldn't see the face because it was covered with white cloth. The body looked nothing like him. He wasn't that tall. I tried telling me that it wasn't him. It's been almost three months and he is not coming back. I wish everything would just go away. We were so close so so close. I miss him. Every time I go to church I pray to god that give him back , or atleast show him when I am dead. He is just 22. He deserved to live. He was in his last year of medical school. I was very proud of him. He is the best brother one could ask for. The way he cared for me from the day I was born, I never thanked him. I never told him how happy and proud I was. I miss you big brother. Your little sister is proud of you. I love you. | 4depression
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Being in a relationship with anxiety : Do you ever wake up some mornings and all you can think about is overwhelming doubts and concerns about your relationship? It happens every few weeks usually the day after we’ve argued (and resolved it) and it’s almost as if it’s left an aftertaste where I just can’t forget this feeling of wanting out, but then by the next day or even come that night I’m completely fine and in love again. Sometimes I feel like it’s also hormonal but it really puts a downer on my day and I’d like to know I’m not alone with my mind attacking what I do in a clearly vain attempt to make it happy | 1anxiety
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Anxiety making every job opening seem scary : I recently lost my job because the place I worked at went out of business. It was pretty good for me and my anxiety. Now I'm trying to find a job and my social anxiety is holding me back. It's making me really picky. I keep trying to find one with minimal social interactions. It's unrealistic and I know it and i'm feeling so frustrated. I feel like I'm awkward and awkward on the phone. I don't know what to do. I find simple jobs that I could easily do while I go back to school, but my social anxiety finds one thing and the job doesn't seem easy anymore. | 1anxiety
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Why isn't bpd taken seriously by most people? : I don't get how I get labelled as a fucking monster because I tried to off myself by people who claim to be all about being supportive and understanding to people with mental health issues. You don't get to pick and chose who gets to be treated as a human and who doesn't. People without bpd who Google symptoms or go to tiktok and claim they have bpd without even ever understanding the severity of the condition get all the pity even though they haven't even seen a fucking specialist about it. I hate how people call me an attention seeking whore for trying to off myself because their words hurt me? Of course your disgusting words hurt me after you called me shit even though I told you I didn't have a control over the shit I do. I am tired of this bullshit. People without bpd who know anyone with bpd and treat them like shit can go fuck off. | 3bpd
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Who else is so tired of being in survival mode constantly due to this unsafe world and your hypersensitivity to it with CPTSD? : Who else is so tired of being in survival mode constantly due to this unsafe world and your hypersensitivity to it with CPTSD?
I usually am hypervigilant and quick to advocate for myself as a result of my trauma history--racial, sexual, and emotional abuse. I've spent a lot of my life being gaslighted and mistreated. I have become more confident in standing up for myself, setting boundaries and trusting my intuition these days. I love and respect myself and do not tolerate others who abuse or disrespect my boundaries. I have always been assertive and have leadership qualities, so this is also part of who I am and who I have to be to survive.
I want to live in a mental and physical space where I can let down my guard and calm my nervous system so I don't feel the need to put all my energy into advocating and fighting back every time with all my force as if I am dealing with racist, sexist, narcissists or sociopathic abusers everytime. This unsafe world is draining my energy as I frequently have to be in survival mode. When I do let my guard down, I am vulnerable to be attacked or preyed on--recently I have been experiencing racial and sexual harassment.
((The world is not always unsafe of course, Sometimes there are just miscommunications and people are not out to get me or don't have deceitful intentions due to racism, sexism, etc. I have had to check myself when it was time to let an issue go as I am not able to control everything just myself. There have been times I was embarassed for jumping to conclusions and being overly suspicious and mad when someone was not being deceitful and there was a misunderstanding instead.))
I am working on finding safe physical, mental, and spiritual places where I do not feel the need to protect myself as much and can conserve my energy to heal from cPTSD. I cannot expect to heal as effectively when I am in a place where I keep getting burnt by more abuse. I need to be safe first. It is tough though because as a black mixed woman, there are a lot of places where I am not safe and I have to advocate for myself due to people being out to get me or mistreating me. I cannot wait to move next year to a place where I do feel safer and can let my guard down more and can heal my CPTSD.
Who else is struggling with being in survival mode constantly due to this unsafe world and your hypersensitivity to it with CPTSD history? How are you dealing with it? | 7ptsd
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Is becoming forgetful during extreme stress/anxiety a normal thing? Feel like I'm going crazy. : Hello. I'm worried about if I'm alone with these symptoms. Basically this whole month has been the most stressful, anxiety ridden month of my life and I'm having concerns about the symptoms. Not looking for a diagnosis as I already have a therapist.
So what I've noticed is I feel like I'm on crack or something. First is I've started forgetting normal things, I had no recollection of turning a sink on and walking away before it was pointed out 2 minutes later. I've developed a slight twitch that gets progressively worse as I get more anxious. (Jerky head movement, leg won't stop moving, etc.) Curious if others have ever had those symptoms?
Also while I don't really "Word salad" I've noticed I write so quickly sometimes that it's difficult to not say, writing the word "walk" I'll write "wal" and then put the < part of the K on the l. Or I'll end a word with the beginning of the next word I planned after it. (Going There turns into Gointh--) before I catch myself.
Apologies if this seems rather trivial, but this is taking a bigger hit out of my sanity then I'd like it to, since my biggest anxiety is the whole "going insane" thing. This also isn't normal for me as I've had anxiety/depression my whole life and never really had this happen. Thanks for reading my rambles. | 1anxiety
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Baby Steps: the chili fries. : So I just started OCD meds. I'm on day two. I know it takes a while for them to kick in but I think the placebo effect is working for my benefit.
I have contamination fears mainly around the fear of contracting cold sores. For the last week I had a pimple on my nose, so of course I acted like it was a cold sore. Hand washing went into over haul, compulsions went nuts... But I surprised myself tonight.
I hung out with some new friends. One has a bump on his lip. I'm pretty sure it was just chapped lips but I treat people with ANY lip anomaly like a contamination threat. I wig out.
I shook his hand with out washing my own after, hugged him without breaking out my Lysol discretely.... AND SHARED FINGER FOOD WITH HIM. I know his fingers touched his lips as it was chili fries and everyone was licking their fingers, but I actually ate after him and didn't wash my face or hands after.
It sounds so stupid when I type this out, but it was so not me.
It felt like I was....*normal.* I feel a glimmer of hope for the first time. | 6ocd
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Quick tip for my Galaxy Android users - "Ultra Power Saving"mode can also double as "Distraction free" mode. : One of my New Year's resolutions this year was spend less time on my phone looking at social media during the day. When I set my phone to ultra power-saving mode, only have access to the phone, the text, and the email feature. Facebook is accessible, but I stay signed out. Most "distracting" push notifications are disabled and my phone battery lasts the entire day. | 0adhd
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OCD ruined my relationship :
My ex and I were together for a year. It was the most stable relationship I’ve ever had, but I noticed anxiety creeping in. My OCD compulsions and obsessions started to centre around the fear of losing the best relationship I’ve ever had. Partly due to trauma from past relationships, and partly due to not feeling worthy of such a good relationship.
I would complete actions every day that if I didn’t do, I was convinced it would end my relationship.
I started to get paranoid. Intrusive thoughts would whirl around in my head, like:
“What if he’s lying to me?”
“He’s cheating on me”
“He doesn’t find me attractive”
“He doesn’t love me”
These thoughts would lead to many arguments, as I felt the need to get constant reassurance from him about these thoughts. It didn’t help that he hates conflict and so would either get defensive or want to talk about things later. But my mind wouldn’t stop and so I’d insist on talking now. I once asked him for more reassurance, even though he gave me a lot already, and it made him confused. He didn’t understand how much more reassurance he could give. I didn’t either. But I knew my mind needed it. I now understand reassurance actually makes the obsessive thoughts worse.
He eventually ended things after a particularly bad argument. I once again assumed the worst, and he didn’t understand why.
Since the break up, we’ve spoken about things. I realised more why I acted the way I did, and that it was my OCD - which has affected me my whole life in different ways, but I never realised it could take this form. I felt guilty. I felt stupid. How could I let it ruin what could’ve been the ONE?! We spoke about our part to play in things and he seemed to sort of understand. I even opened up to him about my OCD a bit, which I was always scared to do during the relationship. But he said he just can’t go back. He’s done. He even said to me how when I’d get those thoughts, it’s like I became another person. He knew it wasn’t me but he can’t stick around to get hurt by it anymore.
It doesn’t help that the stress of the breakup made my OCD worse and led me to behave in ways that I’m once again, not proud of.
I recently found some old cards he wrote for me, and he was saying how much he cared for me and loved me. I started sobbing. Seeing it now when you’re out of that horrible OCD cycle is sobering. I realise I wasn’t seeing things clearly at all. He did love me so much, and I was too blinded by my own intrusive thoughts to see it. I hate that I let it win again, and it made someone who cared for me more than anyone ever has, to run. I don’t blame him. I just wish I could go back and somehow stop myself having these thoughts.
Has anyone else ever been through something similar? I just feel so alone and I hate myself for ruining yet another good thing. | 6ocd
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I don't know why I love bottling up my feelings even though it's killing me inside. : Do you feel or do the same thing too? When someone hurt you so bad, you just stay quiet, bottle up your feelings and lie "I'm okay" or "It's okay I understand" then when you're all alone or you isolate yourself from people that's when you start crying or angry and just hurt yourself for feeling that way and not telling them they hurt you? | 3bpd
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How do you keep moving on after all that pain? : Everyday feels like a new grief and when you hit your lowest most destructive low you come back empty and a shell of yourself. Even when I stop hating myself and try to be better, the feeling always comes back.
How do you do it? How do you have that strength to keep fighting? its not just you against you, its the world and the way you view it.
all i can say to myself is I deserve better. the logic always comes back but its still hard | 3bpd
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In your opinion who is the most over and under rated historical figure ? : Who do you think most over rated historical figure ? is there anyone who is over hyped or whos achivements are not asgreat as they are made out to be ?. Is there anyone who you think that is under rated that deserves more attention or whos deeds need to publicised more ?. | 5none
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A Gorilla Walks Into A Bar. :
A gorilla goes into a bar and orders a martini. This totally amazes the bartender, but he thinks, "What the heck, I guess I might as well make the drink." So he mixes the martini. He then walks back over to the give it to the gorilla, and the animal is holding out a twenty-dollar bill. Well, now the bartender is just at a loss for words. He can't believe that a gorilla walked into his bar, ordered a martini, and then actually had a twenty-dollar bill to pay for it.
So, in amazement, he takes the twenty and walks to the cash register to make the change. While he's standing in front of the cash register he stops for a second and thinks to himself, "Let me try something here and see if the gorilla notices anything."
So he walks back over to the gorilla and hands him a dollar change. The gorilla doesn't say anything, he just sits there sipping the martini. After a few minutes the bartender just can't take it anymore.
"You know," he says to the gorilla, "we don't get too many gorillas in here."
And the gorilla says, "At nineteen dollars a drink I'm not surprised." | 5none
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I'm making PROGRESSSSS!!!! : So today I had an anxiety attack at work , but I worked through it and didn't quit my job like I would normally do. I've been through over 6 different jobs and I'm only 24.. but I'm making progress not letting tough days get to me.
I'm so proud of myself.. | 1anxiety
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I once watched 16 hours of Buffy the Vampire Slayer instead of studying for a Calc 2 test : No worries, I ultimately passed the class, but looking back I can't believe I didn't realize there was a problem beyond "I'm smart, but very lazy". For reference, I got diagnosed at the age of 27 and I graduated college (somehow) on time at the age of 22. Reading this subreddit has given me so many moments to pause, think back on my life, and say to myself, "this has always been a problem."
But yeah, I watched Buffy for 16 hours straight instead of studying or sleeping. It was awful at the time, but it sure is funny looking back. | 0adhd
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Welcoming Newcomers & Free Talk Thread - January 23, 2017 : Greetings & Salutations!
Use this post to introduce yourself if you're new. Or maybe you're not so new, but haven't gotten around to introducing yourself yet in one of these posts. That's ok too! Either way, we'd love to offer you a warm welcome to our community. In fact, if you've introduced yourself before, why not take some time to say hi to the new people commenting here? What do you have going on this week that's giving you anxiety? Talk to us, we can do this together - **you're not alone in this**.
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###Question of the week:
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What is something you keep meaning to do, but it just never quite happens? - For me it's ice skating. I'm crossing my fingers this year is the year!
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**Come chat with us!** That's right we have an /r/Anxiety irc channel were we hang out and talk about random things, or help those who are having a hard time. Tons of great people so feel free to stop on in and say hello! [Chatroom Weblink](https://kiwiirc.com/client/irc.snoonet.org/anxiety) : [More Information](http://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/wiki/irc)
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[Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/wiki/index) | [FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/wiki/faq) | [Types of Anxiety](https://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/wiki/anxiety_subtypes) | [Online Resources & Downloads](http://www.reddit.com/r/Anxiety/wiki/onlineresources) | [Anxiety Chatroom](https://app.orangechat.io/r/anxiety) | [Anxiety Sub Community Map](https://redd.it/5ff4bn)
| 1anxiety
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how can i overcome the urge to be comfortable and useful to everyone? : my biggest issue is trying to be comfortable and helpful to others. i always feel like i’m responsible for starting and holding a convo with everyone, esp when they’re passive. or i feel like i’m a bad friend if i don’t give advice, when they prolly just want empathy or talk about something silly and meaningless
i rally wanna stop making people uncomfortable and forcing myself to act like a therapist all the time. i feel like the root of this is deeper but i’d gladly hear all suggestions
(i feel like im very bad at talking to people bc i tend to keep silent bc don’t wanna be ashamed of what i said afterwards. so i got issues in sensing what would be better to say at a particular moment.) | 3bpd
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anyone else have a fear that they secretly think they’re the second coming or have special powers or some shit? : like ive always had a slight god complex because i spent a lot of time alone/fantasizing when i was a kid but my schiz-ocd and depersonalization is seriously spiking and it gets me worried i have underlying delusions or something, like i have thoughts like what if im destined for greatness/i can save the world and it freaks me out a fuckload when i fixate on it lol hope people can relate. before my big spike in symptoms i would have thoughts like this while on vyvanse/other stimulants but i never really attributed it to anything but now its seriously freaking me out. like i tell myself i dont believe i have special powers but what if i secretly do??? | 6ocd
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History themed gift idea? : Hi guys I'm hoping you can help me.
My boyfriends birthday is coming up (well it's a few months away, but I usually leave gifts until the last minute so want to have a head start this year) and I want to get him an ancient history themed gift. The problem is, I know next to nothing about history outside of what they taught in highschool.
His interests mostly lie in Greece and Egypt, but I want something with a bit of intelligence behind it and not something I'd find by just ebaying ancient Egypt. So, e.g., I'd prefer to give him a decorative sarcophagus of a particularly influential/cool leader than just a random one that looks the part.
So are there any particularly cool figures, ornaments, books, game, activities or absolutely anything ancient history related you'd love to get as a gift? Or are there any key websites I could use for inspiration?
Thanks 😀 | 5none
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ADHD and milultitasking - not allowed to do sensory activities during call center job while taking a call, help : For all intents and purposes, I work for a call center. We are allowed to do whatever for the most part between calls as long as we stay at our desk. During calls out attention must be given 100% to the call. Understandable but I cannot do that. It just doesn't work. I've been doing needlepoint and loom knitting during calls to be able to create enough stimuli that I can concentrate on the call. It works well for me. I might not still be the best person at their job but it makes the job completely manageable.
My supervisor, however, just sent out a bulk email denouncing this method. No one in particular was referenced but I could tell a lot of it was directed at my methods in particular (making me also frustrated that this wasn't addressed on an individual level but that's another concern for another time.)
I can't switch jobs currently. The local market is horrendous. I'm stuck here. It's really not bad when I can knit or do needlepoint but without
It I'm afraid my ADHD coupled with my bipolar will have my wanting to jump out a window like
My last job literally made me want
To do.
I don't know what to do. Do I broach this with my supervisor? Do I get a good doctors note? Ugh. | 0adhd
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Just diagnosed (in my 30s) and it’s a lot of emotions. : I’m glad to know that I’m not just “scatter brained” but also a little sad because I have something “wrong” with me. I’m also sad for all those times that I struggled so much. I’m successful but how much did this hold me back in my mid 20s? Did anyone else experience any big wave feelings other than just outright relief?
I’m also breastfeeding right now with the hopes of continuing until March 2019 so it looks like no medication, for now. Does anyone have any book recommendations until then? | 0adhd
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OCD is a fucking bitch and I hate it. : I'm tired of thinking my brain is in control of the future, and it's annoying. I'm tired of thinking I can calculate emotions, and I'm tired of intrusive thoughts.
I'm tired of trying to convince myself I have schizophrenia, when I've never shown any of the signs besides social isolation, which was my own doing. A lot of my own social isolation was due to the fact that I didn't want to accept that I could be wrong about my own past. I'm more than likely at this point completely wrong about my own past, I don't want to ruminate on it anymore. It's annoying, and it's causing extreme depersonalization. I'm rarely in the present moment, and it genuinely feels like I'm watching my life just go by. I don't want to live a life like this, where I feel like I have no control over my choices.
Fuck it, I'm just going to steer into the skid for every fear that I get because I'm fucking sick and tired of fear. If I'm wrong about the world, then so be it. At least I tried, but I'm not going to sit here like my family where everyone is genuinely scared of living their own life. I'm tired of everyone resorting to drugs, and being in denial because life is a bleak and meaningless existence. It's only like that because our own family set that mantra up.
I'm genuinely glad that OCD is my personal curse because it's completely manageable. I like being able to plan things out excessively, I don't mind that part. What I don't mind is when my brain thinks it has control over everything, it has 'control' over everything because I've always believed I had a choice into play into everyone's games. It's true everyone does, but how can you have a choice when you're first instinct was to not play it?
I'm sorry that it's hard for me to summon up emotions for you, but you have to realize that just because we are family I don't owe anyone any emotional disposition.
Life is difficult, but our mind makes it more so.
Ambiguity has never been more comforting in my life. | 6ocd
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I'm just so tired : Today has been a wretched anxiety day and I'm tired. I'm tired of dealing with this, tired of being afraid of trouble lurking around the corner, always just waiting waiting waiting for something bad to happen. I don't want to feel that way but I can't help it. I just wish my mind would be normal. | 1anxiety
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I don't feel like doing my laundry tonight, so I won't. It sounds absurd, but sometimes I can't tell if I'm depressed or just being lazy. : I have been fighting really hard to work my way out of the hold I'm in. And thank you for /r/depression for letting me post a few times while going through it. It really helps, even though I'm technically banned.
I used to cycle in and out, but the past year or two I only cycle in, and less in. Mostly because despite how hard I've tried my social situation still hasn't changed. It's funny though. When the depression gets to be crushing it's like I stop moving. I don't clean my house, or get to bed on time, or do.... anything but sit in a blank stare for the most part.
Since I've been pushing so hard to get back on the right track, little cracks worry me. I know I'm depressed despite feeling a little better. Not doing the laundry is how it starts. Then there's no clean clothes to wear, so I don't want to go outside, so I don't want to shop, so I order food, but I don't clean, so the pizza boxes start stacking, the weight starts piling on. God damn the hell I create for myself is so miserable.
But my house is clean. I'm clean. I've done really well for about 3 weeks now. I know it will take a lot longer before I'm back in the daylight of being a responsible adult again, but... that pile of laundry sitting in the corner. It's a reminder of my lazy piss poor attitude towards taking care of myself. It's the small rock that could start a landslide. You fight so hard to fight the depression but the little warning signs linger. It's like constantly being in battle with yourself. It's not a good way to live. I swear it'd be all better if I had human companionship. But for now I'm just sucking it up. I did good today. I exercised. I got to work on time. I smiled and joked with coworkers. I need let myself be okay. It's okay to not do the the laundry tonight. I still have clothes for tomorrow. Just... stop stressing. Yes being lonely sucks, but I can walk. I have roof over my head. I'm doing the opposite of starving. It's just so damn hard to see the light sometimes.
No real need to upvote or comment. I just... needed to ramble. It's been so long since I've had anyone to have small talk with. I've turned into a crazy old man. | 4depression
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Pinpoint accuracy : A group is taking a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he’s shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud Hiss-Pop! noise.
“The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold,” explains the guide. “The popping sound is a needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple.”
Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are manufactured. The machine is making a noise as the condoms are fed by a conveyor belt. Hiss, Hiss, Hiss, Hiss, Hiss, Hiss, Hiss, Hiss, Hiss, Hiss-Pop!
“Wait a minute!” says a man taking the tour. “I understand what the hiss is, but what’s that intermittent pop?”
“Oh, it’s the same as the baby-bottle nipple machine,” says the guide. “It pokes a hole in every tenth condom.”
“Well, that can’t be good for the condom!” the man states.
“Very true, but it’s great for the baby-bottle nipple business.” | 5none
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The ADHD community is fantastic : My doctor told me two days ago that he suspects that I have ADHD, and suggested that I go through a diagnosis. At first I was very surprised and hesitant *("I can't have ADHD, I'm not hyperactive!")* but now, after having researched what ADHD actually is, it makes so much sense.
My permanent brainstorm, my severe mood swings, my inability to stay focused, how easily I get distracted, my lack of drive et.c. These are not on a level that would be expected from a "normal" person, but certainly possible for someone with ADHD. I'm aware that it may turn out that I actually don't have ADHD, I need to wait until the diagnosis is complete, but it feels like the greatest revelation ever to me.
While I researched what ADHD actually is, I noticed how welcoming, friendly and supportive the community is. It has definitely helped me to ease into the situation. A big thank you to all of you! | 0adhd
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Intrusive images during masturbation : I am a 27 years old straight male. When I masturbate and I am aroused by pleasurable fantasies, intrusive homosexual thoughts and images of close male friends and family members pop in my head before and during climax, which I cannot control. They don't arouse me at all, they are just unwanted intrusive thoughts. I find them disgusting and repulsive. But they pop in my head despite my will. When I try to ignore them and continue the masturbation, I feel very anxious and depressed afterwards. Am I an immoral person for having such thoughts? If I have these thoughts before and during climax, does this mean that I have masturbated to them? How to stop these thoughts or deal with the problem? Please help me! | 6ocd
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Assessment Results Tomorrow…Stressed : I know I can’t do anything about it, and the results are what they are, but anxiety is palpable in my brain right now. I took what felt like every assessment and diagnostic tool (over 4 hours of work and stuff), so excited about all the good info, but anxious of what’s to come. It’s an hour long meeting so hopefully a full run down on the results and next steps.
Nothing I can do now. Just need a distraction and that is you guys, so tell me how you coped, what you went though, how your meetings went, and anything else that pops in your brain. | 0adhd
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I'm a man who was raped by a woman : I understand most people don't take this seriously. The first and only time I have ever told anyone else outside of writing it here, I was told "So, you got laid. Coolio. Good for you! There's no way you didn't like it. She's hot, man, how was it?!" Had I been a young female, I think my friend's reaction and people's reaction would be different. But because I'm a man, I like sex, apparently.
Anyway, I was in college and starting to deal with my childhood traumas. I opened up to a woman not much older than me for the first time about that stuff. We were in class and tasked with writing a personal story and share it with our partner for feedback with regards to the style of poetry we were told to use. The first red flag should have been when she asked "Are you **sure** you were abused as a kid?" When I defended myself gently, she apologized very much and so forth. During our break, we got a coffee and she leaned in to kiss me. I leaned back and apologized, saying that I wasn't comfortable with being intimate with anyone that I wasn't at least a year or more into a relationship, and how I was also the type to save sex for marriage." "Sure you are." She said smiling. She forced herself on me, kissing me, and I caved. Anxiety. Fear, my body saying yes while my mind was trying to escape in fear.
Long story short, we had a back-and-forth love/hate relationship and I was too spineless and weak to break out a partnership in class off. She needed my help with something one night at her house, and she paid me for it. All good. But then she pushed me on the sofa, took our clothes off... and I'll leave the rest up to your imagination. I felt broken, nearly crying in front of her, but then played it off as anxiety and anger, scurrying out of her home, barely putting my clothes back on before exiting the door. 'Was that good for you too, baby?" She said when she saw me leaving. When I'd tried to fight her off initially, she was like "I always control the situation. Why would you fight me? Just let it happen, let me ride you, you might like it since you're a virgin, I promise you'll be safe. Learn from your past punishment."
I'm pretty logical. I haven't done therapy for this, but previous traumas and never found therapy helpful. But this just gets to me because since I am naturally attracted to women, I have this poor defense when I'm near one because I know that I probably wouldn't be strong enough to fight one off of that happened. When a man did the same, I was able to try at least, to fight it off because there was no level of attraction. Yes, I orgasmed in her and that's what breaks me. I made a vow to save sex for marriage and she forced it out of me. Maybe I shouldn't say forced, since I wasn't strong enough to stop her. If I had... anyway. It's been years since this happened and I feel more ashamed about the girl-raping-guy part than the guy on guy part.
Not sure what my intention here was, I suppose just to vent and see if anyone has relating feelings or experiences. | 7ptsd
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Ketamine Treatment : Hi all!
I'm not new to Reddit, however this is the first time I'll post anything, anywhere.
The reason I'm posting this is because I've had the opportunity to explore something amazing, and I'd like to share it with as many people as possible in hopes of perhaps encouraging someone to overcome challenges with their mental health.
A little background:
I'm a USMC veteran, 10 years (2003-2014)
I believe I suffered from depression from my early teenage years, being in the Marines was a mostly positive experience for me, but, it also was detrimental in various occasions to my already shaky mental health.
Anyway, my symptoms ranged from depression/anxiety being triggered by a variety of things to sometimes just unexplainable episodes of severe depression.
When I got out of the Marines I came home and started working. I found success in both my personal and professional life, despite the nearly crippling mental health issues I was working through.
I consulted with a psychiatrist around 2015 and tried probably a dozen different anti-depressants and other meds. I did so because even though I was successful on the surface, the instability in my mood and overall mental health was affecting my family adversely.
I found an antidepressant that "did the job" for a couple of years, but I guess due to tolerance buildup, I was upped in dosage to achieve effect and unfortunately, all it did was make me inefficient at work and lethargic in my everyday life. So I dropped it.
I did good for about 6 months, but then, my mental health deteriorated again. It seemed to be more frequent and intense than before. I was at my wit's end.
I consulted with another psychiatrist to see about trying something else, but then, I saw documentaries on experimental trials for clinical treatment utilizing psychedelics.
I live in Texas, so finding a place that offered such services was almost completely off the table.
That is, until I found out there was a Ketamine clinic here in my town.
I decided to check it out and got myself scheduled for treatment.
I wish I had a reference to Ketamine treatment for depression readily available for you all, but I don't have one right off the bat.
The point is, I did some research on this treatment process and decided to begin treatment.
I was very excited to start the treatment. In my mind, this was the key to achieving a good state of mental health.
I firmly believe that since I've gone into this process with a can-do attitude, it is having the desired effects!
It's been about a month since my first treatment, and not only has my mental health improved and depression been eliminated, but overall, I have a new outlook on life.
The treatments are pretty intense, for sure. I had never experienced hallucinogens, so I was in for a wild ride. But, honestly, even during the Ketamine trips, I find myself in touch with areas of my mind that I never thought I could see/experience.
I encourage anyone who has explored the possibility of this treatment to move forward. I will be posting updates as time passes.
Anyway, if anyone would like to have a conversation regarding this, feel free to comment or reach out directly. | 7ptsd
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Over spent on Black Friday : I decided to treat myself for Black Friday, I’ve been good with my saving all year and haven’t really bought myself anything so I bought myself a Nintendo switch, and then bought air pods..and then bought beats headphones… and clothes and Christmas presents for my 10 family members it made me feel good but now I feel stupid and sad and the novelty has worn off..
I don’t really regret the Christmas presents cause it’s for my family but my family specifically said no gifts this year and I went ahead and bought a kurieg, 2 echo dots, a fire stick a bunch of toys etc… I saved $400 all together with the “sales” but I’m sure I spent over $1,000 so that really defeats the purpose. I’m also picking up less shifts at work so I just feel stupid but also feel like I can’t stop and I’ve sorta dug myself into a hole. I feel horrible | 3bpd
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My best friend is rapidly descending into a dark place and I have no idea how to help and it is killing me. : My best friend is the nicest, most genuine person you could ever hope to meet. I've watched him suffer so much and he has struggled with depression for as long as I have known him but he always put others first.
He had the same pair of little dogs for most of his life, they were basically part of his family. Both of them were over 25 when they finally passed away a couple of years ago, it is the only time I have ever seen him cry. The loss of those dogs had a clear impact on him and I suggested that he take a break from university to grieve properly without that stress but instead he took on the hardest maths unit as an elective just so that he could help a couple of friends with it after they failed their first attempts. I used my electives for easy passes, he took on one of the hardest units just to help his friends and went on to graduate with one of the highest grades in his year!
Last year things finally started looking up for him. He got hired into a proper career that made use of his degree and would take care of him for life and he met a nice girl who turned into a wonderful girlfriend. I don't know which of those two was more important but together they gave his life meaning. He got over his depression, he got in shape, he had this new energy about him and for the first time in our long friendship I got to see him off of antidepressants. It was amazing, it was like life had finally decided to stop shitting on him... and then things started to go wrong.
At the end of last year he injured his shoulder and had to take extended leave from work. He lost a friend during the Australian bushfires and the whole event caused much upheaval. When lockdown started his girlfriend lived 40 minutes away but it may as well have been the other side of the world. His depression started creeping back but he was optimistic about returning to work and he adopted a couple of new dogs to try and help him through it.
He was scheduled to return to work the week before Easter. The day before he was meant to return to work he instead got strong armed into resigning by his boss and his boss's boss. They say that they wouldn't have been able to support him properly with the lock down restrictions but I think they were just losing money and saw it as a way to cut costs. I was outraged and his family was outraged but even then he put on a brave face and refused to say anything bad about his ex-employer. He had spent the previous week converting a room of his house into an office so that he could work from home. I was expecting him to vent but he just made a joke about it giving him more time to spend with his dogs and his girlfriend and then said he needed an early night. By the time I spoke to him the next day his girlfriend had already left him, and over text no less. He went to her for emotional support and she said that she didn't love him anymore. He says that "people can't control how they feel" and he is "glad that she felt comfortable enough to be honest with him" but I don't care what the situation is, you don't fucking dump someone the day after they lose their job!
Things have gone downhill so quickly since then. He has phone appointments with a psychologist each week but he is still getting worse. I check in with him at least once a day and every time I do it crushes me a little more. He is like this broken shell, some days he will forget to eat or drink. He always had the patience of a saint and when he was with an animal it was like watching the second coming of Steve Irwin but in this state he barely even has the energy to take care of his dogs let alone train them and he swore at them the other day when they wouldn't stop barking. He would never get angry at animal. He once got bitten while breaking up a dog fight and he didn't swear or get angry or panic, he just finished what he was doing, then tended to his wound, then said he shouldn't have put his arm there.
This amazing man was like a beacon of goodness, he brought happiness to the lives of those around him and somehow just knowing him made us strive to be better people. Last year I thought he was finally being rewarded for all the goodness he has brought into this world, but now I just feel like I'm watching the last days of Robin Williams and I have no idea what to do except cry. | 4depression
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I can’t bear a relationship : I never had an actual relationship, at least bot one that lasted longer than literally 20min. Every time I think about having a relationship I want to throw up and get a massive headache. Although I feel lonely and would like to experience it, I just can’t. It completely destroys me mentally. I see myself dying alone in a room with nothing but a couch and a table in it. | 1anxiety
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I just quit my job : Literally just quit my job 5 minutes ago. I worked in payroll, I worked remotely, was my first payroll type of job, and it absolutely wiped me out.
To give a little background, I’m a 24 y/o male who has had over 14+ concussions, I’m dyslexic, and was diagnosed Bipolar 2 about a month ago. The drs told me it could take a while to become stable due to a mix of the concussions and the disorder.
Back to why I quit my job- I absolutely hated it. And before I get all the “stop being lazy” comments, I WANT to work. So badly. But the stress of this job especially at the end of the year has just been too much for me to handle. I wake up every morning in an instant panic attack that quickly leads to nausea and throwing up. This feeling doesn’t subside until I clock out of work for the day. My boss was never understanding, I had to miss several days due to appointments or trips to the ER and when I returned from the ER I had an attendance warning in my email. My parents think my boss was trying to get me to quit because she would load me up with more work whenever I’d reach out and tell her I’m struggling.
I have another job lined up to work with my dad doing construction which I think will be really good for me to get my mind of things and to stay moving.
I’m happy I quit but can’t shake the feeling that I’m letting everyone down. I have enough money to pay my bills and everything but it’s still a guilty feeling.
There wasn’t much of a point to this post I just really needed to get my thoughts out of my head. Thanks for reading guys. | 2bipolar
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I'm tired. I'm tired of this OCD. : [Trigger warning!]
I was 14 when it started. I thought I was turning gay. I had developed homosexual-OCD (HOCD). I was so anxious, I used to pray to God every day and I didn't know what was happening to me.
I was 15 when I developed Schizo-OCD. I watched the movie "A Beautiful Mind" and from then on, I thought I had schizophrenia. I used to think I was hearing voices and imagining things. It's one thing to lose one's mind, it's another to know one his losing his mind. I used to cry myself to sleep nearly every night.
I was 16 when I developed Paedophilia-OCD. It ruined my interaction with children. I felt repulsed just touching them. I used to cross the road if I ever saw a child coming towards me.
I was 17 when I developed the obsessive theme of being attracted to my family. My mother is the most precious thing in the world to me and I repeatedly had intrusive sexual thoughts. I would lock myself away in my room.
I was 18 when I started one of the most prestigious Unis in the world, it was supposed to be an adventure, I was supposed to have fun and finally I would be able to live again. I suffered so much through school, thanks to the OCD for a shitty (visual) memory - http://psycnet.apa.org/buy/2004-19607-009 - I had to study harder and for longer. I had to sacrifice so much fun.
I went to Uni and it was the worst year of my life. All sorts of OCD themes hit me, I was anxious, I was away from home, I was tired, I couldn't take it. I met a girl whom I met and because of my OCD, I couldn't date her, and because of my OCD, I can't forget. Every day for the past 7 years I think of her. Every day. It's absurd, it's crazy. She's moved on with life and we barely knew one another but for 7 years every day I just can't forget her. Every day, 7 years, non-fucking-stop. It's stupid.
I could easily date other girls but I feel nothing, it's not the same. I could easily take up other hobbies but I feel nothing, it's not the same. I don't have that adventure for life anymore, that fighting spirit.
I had to start all over again at another Uni. I did well, I'm only 26, got a good degree and a good job but I'm so exhausted that I can't take this anymore. I'm certainly not suicidal but I feel like life has been sucked the hell out of me.
I have no friends, I can't forget her, if I do forget her, other themes will come rushing back, I don't have any hobbies as I just can't be bothered, I can't go sleep without being pounded by intrusive thoughts, I have a low self-esteem, low self-confidence, I'm anxious...I'm just so tired. | 6ocd
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I don't know what living a balanced life is like : i don’t know what living a balanced life feels like
when i am sad
i don’t cry i pour
when i am happy
i don’t smile i glow
when i am angry
i don’t yell i burn
the good thing about
feeling in extremes
is when i love
i give them wings
but perhaps
that isn't
such a good thing
cause they always
tend to leave and
you should see me
when my heart is broken
i don't grieve
i shatter
-Rupi Kaur
| 3bpd
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A donkey is having a drink in a pub : when he spots a horse at the bar so goes over for a chat. "What do you do for a living then?" asks the donkey. "I'm a racehorse" comes the reply. "Oh right" says the donkey, "have you won any races then?". "Well", says the horse, " on the flat I've won the 2,000 guineas & the derby, & over the jumps I've won the grand national & the cheltenham gold cup".
The donkey is impressed & they have a few more drinks, & eventually arrange to meet at the donkeys house a week later for a meal.
Before they meet again, the donkey feels a little inferior, what with the horse being so successful & all, so thinks he'll need to impress him when they meet up again. So after a brainwave, he goes out, buys a huge picture of a zebra & gives it pride of place in his home, hanging over the fireplace.
When the horse calls round to the donkeys house, he says, "very nice place you have here, who's the zebra in the picture?" The donkey replies "that's not a zebra mate, that's me when I played for Juventus" | 5none
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Two blondes went hiking in the woods for the first time. : As you would expect,they got lost.One blonde says to the other,"hey,get out that field guide and see what it says about getting rescued in the event you get lost."
She opens up the guide,reads a little, and says,"Fire three shots."so she does.After waiting around for about an hour they decided to try it again.Still nobody came.And again,and again,and again.Finally one says to the other,"Fire three more in the air and if no one comes we'll start walking."
The other one replied,"Well I would but I ran out of arrows." | 5none
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After the Tokyo trial, why were so many of the Japanese officials who were given lengthy prison sentences paroled? : It seems like the ones who weren't sentenced to death and the ones who did not die in prison the first few years were all paroled after either 6 or 7 years. Was new information found? Or did they have good reason to believe Japan was settled down enough by the mid to late 50s? | 5none
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How do you survive financially with debilitating PTSD? : Hey all!
Question: How do / did you survive financially with severe PTSD?
My PTSD and chronic pain significantly impacts my life, even with utilizing the resources available to me such as therapy and SSI. Some days, it is too painful to leave my bed for longer than 10min. I can just barely take care of my most basic needs, such as eating, but I am unable to tolerate the stress of a job or other avenues to make money. I am working diligently on recovery, but finding myself running out of savings and wracking up credit card debt to survive. And since family is the main cause of my PTSD, I am not in contact with them.
How do you survive financially? Are there any avenues that I'm not seeing? I'm doing my best not to drown, but finances has been weighing heavily on me lately.
Any & all replies are welcome! | 7ptsd
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Can You Take Stimulants With Bipolar Disorder? : Today I got results from a sleep study and I have a mystery illness of some kind that causes narcolepsy-like symptoms, but it's not narcolepsy. My specialist can't figure out what it is but they might be able to treat the symptoms with stimulants.
They are getting in touch with my psychiatrist to discuss whether or not stimulants could interact with my other medications (I'm on Lithium and Cymbalta).
I was wondering if anyone here has experience with being prescribed stimulants? | 2bipolar
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How to help with OCD about fear of death and time passing too quickly? : I’m 26 and only since 5 days ago this started really bothering me. I had three panic attacks yesterday. The present doesn’t make sense to me? How can the present exist if it’s always passing and becoming the past a few seconds later? Every second that goes by I’m closer to loosing a pet, a loved one and soon me all to death. How can I just stop worrying about it and enjoy my damn life wtf. Why do I have to be so aware?
I have this same ocd topic and fear back when I was 19 and it was pretty bad. But it did go away. I want it to go away again because I can’t live like this. I rather just die now and get it over with now instead of feeling the horrible dread that is slowly coming. | 6ocd
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Fellow ADHDers! College could be free for you... : Both my dad and I have moderate/severe ADHD, and he informed me that ADHD is a recognized disability by the Division of Vocational Rehabilitation. This is a government agency that helps people find jobs/careers, and helps people through school to reach that goal.
I've been working with them for some time now, and I'm now on a full ride to anonymous university.
So, if you're looking to go to school and have ADHD, talk to DVR! | 0adhd
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Going to see a psychologist tomorrow and need help : Tomorrow is my first appointment at the psychologist, but I don't know what to do or what to say, as I've never went to one. I'm also a very shy person, and get anxious very easily, so I'm kind of freaking out right now.
I'm pretty sure I have ADHD/ADD, but I don't know what to say to make him see what I'm experiencing, does that make sense? | 0adhd
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Pure by Rose Cartwright : Holy cow. I’ve never felt so seen by a book as I do with this one. Rose Cartwright goes into incredible detail about her struggle with pure o, and it is both deeply relatable and laugh out loud funny at times. This is a book I needed years ago and one that I still do. It’s incredibly comforting to know that I’m not alone with some of my thought processes. As a sufferer, I’m impressed with her vulnerability in sharing her most distressing thoughts with the world. I can’t recommend this book enough.
The TV show based on the book is also excellent, though I’d say it complements the book rather than tells the same story. | 6ocd
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my different moods throught the day. : Not sure how related to borderline this is. But if you have borderline and somehow relate to this, feel free to tell me. This is my day and it's moods so far.
9am- I want to die, but sleep is lovely, I don't have to die if I just lay my head back into a soft marshmallow safe existence
10am- The anxiety is so bad that I'm nauseous, I can't move, I can't breathe, I want out out out out out away please God don't let him leave me
11am- Oh my god, he wants to stay? He wants me F O R E V E R ? My body has been rebirthed again, I love him, I'm beautiful.
12am- Nevermind, I'm alone and ugly and disgusting. He only wants me for sex. I'm empty. Time to go outside I hope someone kidnaps me, that would be fun. I hope men will think on pretty. Put on a dress and makeup and go out. I'm free!
13pm- No. My life is horrible. I hate existence, I choose death. I'm going to kill myself, I'm really going to do it. Hug me daddy.
14pm- I don't know what death is. I'm curled up in bed with fluffy things, I'm just a little baby and all I have to do is cry into my teddy bear and hug myself.
15pm- Since I can't get a fucking job because no one wants to hire me I might as well start selling sex, sounds fun. I'd get old men to fuck me. He'd leave me but he doesn't care anymore so it's okay. Throw me in a ditch and I don't care if I live or die.
16pm- I can do this. The air around me is pleasanty calm and my face is dry. It's not that fucking hard honestly, it's not my fault if jobs don't want me. I'm pretty cool actually. I'm gonna send out a bunch of applications now.
17pm- My room is messy and beautiful and so am I. I'm so special. I want him to flog me until my skin is burning. I'm a lonely swan.
19pm- I'm tired hello
The floor is oddly comforting
22pm- I just filled up a bucket with ice cold water and plunged my head into it and tried to hold my breath. Then I sent the video of it to a 40 year old who found it hot.
| 3bpd
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I GOT THE JOB!!! : After so much heartache this year, almost losing custody of my kid, and losing my partner because of a breakdown, I landed my DREAM job!!
I can’t believe it.
I am so happy, and have at least some hope for the future.
Keep going! It gets better! | 2bipolar
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Anybody else hypervigilant of their own emotions and symptoms? : I've always been very self aware. Even if I couldn't really put into words, I was always analysing my own feelings and behaviours.
When I got a borderline diagnosis, the self awareness increased. I used a mood tracker for a while and found it helped me.
When I got the bipolar diagnosis, I began using a mood tracker again and it made things SO MUCH worse. I became hypervigilant of my emotions and when I couldn't understand what I was feeling, I became agitated and confused and just out of my mind. I had to stop using the app, but I'm still too self aware.
I hate this hypervigilance. I just what to feel what I feel in the moment and not be inside my own head all the time.
Does anyone else have a similar experience? | 2bipolar
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Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump go into a bakery : Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump go into a bakery.
As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket.
She says to Donald, "See how clever I am? The owner didn't see anything and I don't even need to lie.” I will definitely win the election.
Then Donald says to Hillary, "That's the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."
Donald goes to the owner of the bakery and says, "Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick." Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. Trump swallows it and asks for another one. The owner gives him another one. Then Donald asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.
The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, "What did you do with the pastries?" Trump replies, "Look in Hillary's pocket". | 5none
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Obsessing as coping? : Over the years, especially when I’ve been stressed or life has hit a lull, I’ve found that if I find a new tv show or band or general fandom, I got in DEEP, and pretty quick, and fixate strongly on it for either a bit or longer. Has anyone experienced this? Can you help me understand why I do this? | 1anxiety
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