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Is it normal to go into therapy feeling nervous?

I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky. Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-normal-to-go-into-therapy-feeling-nervous

anxiety

David KleinHumanistic, LGBT-Affirmative Psychotherapy for Individuals & Couples

https://counselchat.com/therapists/david-klein

It depends on your definition of "normal"!:) I would say that the average client I see feels some level of nervous energy when they come into their sessions, and especially at the beginning. I think that with clients who I work with that have difficult times in relationships, maybe being able to trust people is tougher for them given their life experiences, the expectation would be that they have a harder time moving through those nerves and feeling more at peace in sessions.In my opinion, a competent therapist could help you explore where these nerves are actually coming from (talking about yourself, relating to another, something else?) I encourage all of my clients to bring up whatever emotions are coming up for them in the moment, as it's helpful to the client to recognize the "present moment" emotion and then being able to process, learn from, and move through to a more peaceful place, if that is what is being sought.

Is it normal to go into therapy feeling nervous?

I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky. Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-normal-to-go-into-therapy-feeling-nervous

anxiety

Kim HollingdaleMind-Body Approaches to Stress, Depression & Anxiety

https://counselchat.com/therapists/kim-hollingdale

Therapy can feel very weird to begin with - think about it, how often do we go and tell a relative stranger our deepest, darkest thoughts in the rest of our life? So I think its reasonable to expect a certain level of nerves as you get used to your therapist and to the whole process of talking about yourself and vulnerable topics. That said, its definitely worth bringing to the attention of your therapist (if you haven't already) to see if there is anything that they can do, or that the two of you can explore together, that might make the process feel less intimidating to you.

Is it normal to go into therapy feeling nervous?

I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky. Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-normal-to-go-into-therapy-feeling-nervous

anxiety

Chris McDonaldHolistic Counselor

https://counselchat.com/therapists/chris-mcdonald

It takes a lot of courage to go to therapy.  I have gone myself as a Counselor and know what that feeling is like. This is normal but hopefully you have become more comfortable with your therapist. This might be something to bring up to your Therapist and openly discuss (scary to do but its ok) this may even relieve some of your anxiety.  If it continues, you may want to consider trying another therapist as this one may not be the best fit for you.

Is it normal to go into therapy feeling nervous?

I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky. Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-normal-to-go-into-therapy-feeling-nervous

anxiety

Cory Ian Shafer LPCPsychotherapist, Jungian, Hypnotherapy

https://counselchat.com/therapists/cory-ian-shafer-lpc

Therapy does not work overnight, oftentimes it is a lifelong struggle, the therapists job is not to "cure" you or to remove something but rather to make you strong enough to live your life with your own peculiarities and struggles, remember we are human and constantly fallible. Another important thing to note is that although you go to therapy, that is just a room, most of the magic and work takes place in your real life outside of that room.

Is it normal to go into therapy feeling nervous?

I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky. Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-normal-to-go-into-therapy-feeling-nervous

anxiety

Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw

Yes, feeling nervous for the first few or several sessions of therapy, is completely normal.Therapy is an unusual way to have a conversation with someone.   The person is an expert in recognizing and understanding dynamics of human interactions.   For some people the fear is that the therapist knows more about you than you do yourself.In general terms hopefully your therapist has worked with many other people who've faced problems similar to yours.In this sense the therapist has a general idea of the basic dynamics you most likely are handling.No therapist could possibly know your particular details and your particular areas of upset or in what ways you feel unsure of yourself.Once you start to trust both your own right to tell your particular story and start to also feel that your therapist is listening attentively and cares what you tell the person, your nervousness will start to disappear all on its own.Good luck in getting the most from your therapy sessions!

Is it normal to go into therapy feeling nervous?

I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky. Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-normal-to-go-into-therapy-feeling-nervous

anxiety

Jill Barnett KaufmanPsychotherapist

https://counselchat.com/therapists/jill-barnett-kaufman

It is absolutely normal to be nervous about therapy.  Many people take years to make the decision to start counseling and although it is a safe place to explore feelings, it may be the first time you are facing certain issues.  It takes courage to face issues head on.  Being nervous is part of the process.  The fact that you are continuing to go to therapy sessions despite feeling nervous demonstrates your strength.  Keep it up!

Is it normal to go into therapy feeling nervous?

I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky. Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-normal-to-go-into-therapy-feeling-nervous

anxiety

Catherine HodgeLicensed Mental Health Counselor

https://counselchat.com/therapists/catherine-hodge

Yes, it is completely normal to feel anxious about therapy. Therapy often explores topics and feelings that are uncomfortable. The ultimate goal of therapy is to feel better but the process itself can be uncomfortable.

Is it normal to go into therapy feeling nervous?

I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky. Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-normal-to-go-into-therapy-feeling-nervous

anxiety

Robert HammelPsychologist providing caring counseling.

https://counselchat.com/therapists/robert-hammel-2

For some people it's absolutely normal to feel nervous about coming to therapy.   It's sometimes hard to share our emotions and feelings with someone --- no matter how warm and caring the therapist is.     Are you comfortable with your therapist?  Is it a good relational fit?      Maybe this is a good thing to discuss with your specific therapist at the beginning of your next session --- maybe they can help you find some strategies or tools to make it easier?

Is it normal to go into therapy feeling nervous?

I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky. Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-normal-to-go-into-therapy-feeling-nervous

anxiety

Frank WalkerI help couples manage the bumpy road called marriage. Whether your marriage needs a tune up, a major overhaul or just a flat tire changed. I can help.

https://counselchat.com/therapists/frank-walker

of  I would love to know a little bit more about what's going on in your life but I will attempt an answer.Yes, you could still be shaky and nervous going to therapy. This therapy thing your doing is sometimes scary. First, because your opening up things that you might have never wanted to. Second, your still building a relationship with this therapist person. You may never get over that. The therapist really can't be your "friend". They are there to push the buttons that you might not want pushed and help you heal.  That in itself is scary and can make you anxious. Third, you really never know where this therapy thing will go. Yes, there are goals. But sometimes side roads need to be taken and sometimes that is scary.Know this you are in the right place. You are taking steps to change.

Is it normal to go into therapy feeling nervous?

I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky. Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-normal-to-go-into-therapy-feeling-nervous

anxiety

Tracy Howland

https://counselchat.com/therapists/tracy-howland

It is absolutely a typical response.  Many of my clients are nervous the first couple of times we meet.  This is essentially a stranger with whom you are sharing your feelings.

Is it normal to go into therapy feeling nervous?

I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky. Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-normal-to-go-into-therapy-feeling-nervous

anxiety

Dr. Bonnie HowellNow in St. Petersburg, Fl

https://counselchat.com/therapists/dr-bonnie-howell

It's normal to feel a little anxiety--after all it's an important encounter for you.  My suggestion is to discuss this with your therapist, let him/her know how you're feeling, especially if you feel as though your level of anxiety is impacting the quality and benefit of your sessions.  You might try some relaxation techniques prior to starting the session, deep breathing, progressive relaxation, core muscle dis-engagement--If you're not familiar with these techniques ask your therapist or write back.

Is it normal to go into therapy feeling nervous?

I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky. Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-normal-to-go-into-therapy-feeling-nervous

anxiety

Lauren GoldsteinGLBTQ Affirmative Relationship Therapist for individuals and couples

https://counselchat.com/therapists/lauren-goldstein

"Normal" can be an insidious word to use because it can undermine your sense of worth.  It implies there's one particular way you should be behaving and can leave you feeling crappy and "abnormal" if you're not behaving according to that prescribed standard.  Instead, what I'd recommend is to pay attention to your emotional experiences when you're attending therapy.  Explore your feelings and thoughts without judgement and try to reflect and understand what's going on that's causing you anxiety.  Once you figure out the underlying meaning of the anxiety, you can figure out a way to handle it and action steps to take to diminish it.

Is it normal to go into therapy feeling nervous?

I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky. Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-normal-to-go-into-therapy-feeling-nervous

anxiety

Linda SpyresLCSW, CEO

https://counselchat.com/therapists/linda-spyres

Everyone has different experiences going to therapy. Being nervous can be a typical emotion one might feel. Emotions are our body's way of telling us important information about ourselves. I would suggest talking openly in your sessions about this. That way you can process your thoughts and feelings with the guidance of your counselor. There are probably underlining emotions (fears or insecurities) that are being stirred up during your therapy sessions. Your counselor might suggest individual counseling depending on what you learn about your anxiety. In individual therapy you would have time to deal with your own stressors. As you address your issues, then you will have tools and skills that will be useful in addressing the couple relationship.

Is it normal to go into therapy feeling nervous?

I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky. Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-normal-to-go-into-therapy-feeling-nervous

anxiety

Marquita JohnsonLPC, MDiv, NCC, DCC

https://counselchat.com/therapists/marquita-johnson

I would be more concerned with how is this being addressed in therapy. Therapy can be a rewarding process, however often times we do not pay much attention to the messages being sent to our bodies. I believe in somatic therapy which deals with our mind & body connection. I would think it may not be a question of normal or abnormal however if it is impacting you then you must pay attention to that. It would be helpful to explore the feelings you're having  with your therapist. It may be something that needs addressing to help alleviate those feelings or have a better understanding of why they are showing up when it is time for therapy.

Is it normal to go into therapy feeling nervous?

I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky. Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this?

https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-normal-to-go-into-therapy-feeling-nervous

anxiety

Laurel FayMarriage and Relationship Expert

https://counselchat.com/therapists/laurel-fay-2

It is totally normal - you have a lot riding on this and you're invested! Think about why you feel so shaky - is it something about the therapist or their style? If so, it would be a good idea to talk with them about it so you feel more at ease. In any case bringing up your feelings about therapy in therapy is totally appropriate and even necessary. Good luck!

How can I help myself and change my behavior?

I've hit my head on walls and floors ever since I was young. I sometimes still do it but I don't exactly know why, I have anxiety and I had a rough childhood but now I'll start to hit my head and sometimes not realize it but I don't know how to stop or even why I'm doing it. How can I help myself to change my behavior?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-help-myself-and-change-my-behavior

anxiety

Dr. Meredyth LawrynceServing Clients Nationwide

https://counselchat.com/therapists/dr-meredyth-lawrynce

One step towards change would be to decide why you are hitting your head. Is it a sensory sensation, you like the way it feels, are you trying to “hammer out”  thoughts and feelings you do not want to think or feel? Also consider other ways to alleviate that desire, the feeling, the result you get from banging your head.  Perhaps every time, you do not hit your head you give yourself some micro reward. Also when you do hit your head, you could find an activity that would deter you.   Working with a therapist or counselor who has knowledge of behavior modifications.  When I am helping clients work in this area there are many helpful steps toward extinguishing a behavior.

How can I help myself and change my behavior?

I've hit my head on walls and floors ever since I was young. I sometimes still do it but I don't exactly know why, I have anxiety and I had a rough childhood but now I'll start to hit my head and sometimes not realize it but I don't know how to stop or even why I'm doing it. How can I help myself to change my behavior?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-help-myself-and-change-my-behavior

anxiety

Chaya LernerGrief Therapist

https://counselchat.com/therapists/chaya-lerner

It must be painful to do this behavior. Something is causing your pain. I know that’s staring the obvious. But taking a step back. Taking some deep breaths might allow you to determine what’s underlying your need to self harm. If you feel you have to harm yourself then a technique is to hold an ice cube. The cold will divert your attention away from your emotional pain.

How can I help myself and change my behavior?

I've hit my head on walls and floors ever since I was young. I sometimes still do it but I don't exactly know why, I have anxiety and I had a rough childhood but now I'll start to hit my head and sometimes not realize it but I don't know how to stop or even why I'm doing it. How can I help myself to change my behavior?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-help-myself-and-change-my-behavior

anxiety

Ian Palombo#ThoughtMediator & #LifeUntangler

https://counselchat.com/therapists/ian-palombo

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has been shown over the years to be effective at helping people recognize and change their behaviors. But, as much potential as therapy has for every individual, some people seem to have the keys to successful therapy while others don’t.Some of this stems from what the individuals’ expectations were going into therapy. Some from how much effort they gave, and others from whether or not there was a good personality fit between patient and therapist.For therapy to be successful, you MUST be realistic about the process. It is not linear, and it is not quick. This is particularly true if you are dealing with complex, long-term problems. This doesn’t mean you can expect to be in therapy for the rest of your life or even many, many years. It simply means you must appreciate the reality of what you can expect and how quickly.If you are interested in exploring treatment options, please get in touch with us. We'd be happy to discuss how we may be able to help during a free phone consultation. Fill out the form below to get started. Not quite ready? Read more about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy here.

How can I help myself and change my behavior?

I've hit my head on walls and floors ever since I was young. I sometimes still do it but I don't exactly know why, I have anxiety and I had a rough childhood but now I'll start to hit my head and sometimes not realize it but I don't know how to stop or even why I'm doing it. How can I help myself to change my behavior?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-help-myself-and-change-my-behavior

anxiety

Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw

Give yourself a lot of empathy and care for having had a rough childhood and realizing that life can be better than how you were treated when growing up.Be patient with yourself too bc lasting change takes time. Alternatives to hitting your head require constant gentle reminders to do these new behaviors, or if you've discovered a satisfying alternative in one moment, time is required for you to repeat this alternative until it feels natural.Anxiety usually means someone did not feel well understood growing up and was rushed to comply with the wishes of others who were a regular part of their lives.Anxiety lessens as the person starts to know and accept their wishes and needs as valid.  Allow yourself to learn who you truly are in the spirit of accepting whatever you discover about yourself.The behaviors will naturally change with your new understanding and self acceptance.Good luck and enjoy this self discovery project!

How can I help myself and change my behavior?

I've hit my head on walls and floors ever since I was young. I sometimes still do it but I don't exactly know why, I have anxiety and I had a rough childhood but now I'll start to hit my head and sometimes not realize it but I don't know how to stop or even why I'm doing it. How can I help myself to change my behavior?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-help-myself-and-change-my-behavior

anxiety

Shawn Thomas Berthel, M.S., LCMHCStep into your new life path.

https://counselchat.com/therapists/shawn-thomas-berthel-m-s-lcmhc

Hello. I have to wonder from a behavioral perspective if what you are doing is useful for you. In other words, does it serve a purpose in some way when you find yourself doing it. Yes, this could well be an expression of anxiety, or maybe some type of coping skill you have developed over the years to deal with stressful situations. Yet it sounds like you have developed a sort of knee-jerk behavioral conditioning that causes you to do this behavior during specific (or perhaps even non-specific) circumstances. Do you think it is a self-soothing behavior? Do you feel good after you have done it? The behavior itself is likely causing some form of slow physical damage, so I would recommend you have yourself checked by a doctor, to rule out any injury. If none exists, this obviously doesn't excuse the behavior, it just says that for the moment luck is on your side.When we do any behavior of any kind, it is good to ask if what we are doing has merit or value. Is the behavior helping us to solve our problem, or is it merely creating yet another problem by doing the behavior in the first place. In the same way that a person might drink excessively because they are stressed and need to cope with some unresolved issue, when they are done drinking the original problem will still likely be there, but now they are intoxicated. No closer to solving the issue. When we deal with things like anxiety or depression, we need to do things that work on dealing with the symptoms, but also get to the root issue that created those feelings and find effective solutions. So the things we do to cope with life events need to not be ones that cause us harm, but rather support us as we move forward and work to deal with what life throws at us.Sometimes seeking support from a friend or a counselor is a good idea. Being given the opportunity to express your feelings about what is going on around you and getting feedback and insight from others is much more effective than actions of self-harm, wouldn't you agree? So I would encourage you to find a counselor or a trusted friend who can help you find positive behaviors you can take to deal with your feelings, as you also work to find the answers to the day to day issues of living a life filled with promise and opportunity.Reach out if you need help...there will likely be a hand there waiting for you.

How can I help myself and change my behavior?

I've hit my head on walls and floors ever since I was young. I sometimes still do it but I don't exactly know why, I have anxiety and I had a rough childhood but now I'll start to hit my head and sometimes not realize it but I don't know how to stop or even why I'm doing it. How can I help myself to change my behavior?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-help-myself-and-change-my-behavior

anxiety

Kristi King-Morgan, LMSWSocial Worker, Psychotherapist

https://counselchat.com/therapists/kristi-king-morgan-lmsw

The best way to handle anxiety of this level is with a combination of appropriate medication given to you by a medical doctor, and therapy to help you understand the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that are causing the anxiety. This is not something that anyone should just “white knuckle” and try to get through on their own with no help. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a technique that has been proven helpful for depression and anxiety. This takes a therapist trained in CBT. You will learn to recognize when and why you perform the behavior of hitting your head, help you deal with the underlying cause of this, and replace the behavior with a more positive behavior. You'll learn coping skills.You mention having a rough childhood. Anyone who has experienced trauma like this, especially long-term ongoing trauma from abuse of any kind, definitely does not need "exposure therapy", which is what is recommended for phobias. You need a therapist trained specifically in trauma informed therapy.You are on the right path by recognizing there is an issue and what it is. Good luck with your healing journey!

Do I have an anger problem?

When I get frustrated or upset, it becomes extremely difficult to keep my voice down. I also instantly cry and tend to have anxiety attacks. What can I do to try and control it?

https://counselchat.com/questions/do-i-have-an-anger-problem

anxiety

Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPCLicensed Professional Counselor

https://counselchat.com/therapists/kaileen-mcmickle-ms-lpc

I'm going to reframe this and you can decide if this is helpful!What I'm reading based on what you gave is that you are actually doing your best to manage intense feelings of internal dysregulation.  Anger is something that is generally a protective emotion that quickly arises to keep us safe in some way, whether or not the situation is truly a threat.  The part of our brain that perceives this is not controllable to us, so we don't get to decide what emotion(s) we respond with.It does also sound like you are experiencing some significant anxiety, maybe even underlying the anger?  Without knowing the context, it's hard to say what would help on an individual level but working through those triggers and what is really influencing them deep down could be beneficial.  There's many different ways to do that in therapy if you so choose that as your path.If you do decide to see a therapist, most will tell you that the goal is not necessarily to control your anxiety or anger.  Sometimes there's a strong set of beliefs that, when activated, are catalysts to strong emotions that influence behavior.  Trying to control an emotion on its own is usually unsuccessful for people because it leaves out all the other powerful elements at play.  Emotions are information and the brain sends that information out because it believes we need it at that time.  Therapists can help unravel that with you in whatever way you need, whether that's with somatic work, work at the level of belief (or schemas), or otherwise---hitting it at these deeper layers can unpair and/or decrease emotional responses.  It all takes work and time, so don't get down on yourself if the process is complicated or slower than you expected or hoped for.What we know though is that the brain is very capable of change (even if it's painful).   Hope this gives you a helpful place to start from!

I'm feeling overwhelmed

My two adult sons live with me. One has been having panic attacks and hasn't been able to work for over 6 months. He doesn't want to get help. I'm feeling so overwhelmed. What can I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-m-feeling-overwhelmed

anxiety

Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPCLicensed Professional Counselor

https://counselchat.com/therapists/kaileen-mcmickle-ms-lpc

My very first thought is this is so much to carry on your own!  A mother's instinct is to care for her children so I can imagine how hard it must be to see your son in pain and struggling.  I hear a ping of helplessness in there as well.  That's heavy.My question is: who is supporting you?  I know nothing about the context, but I wonder if the role you hold often is that of caretaker.  It may not be that the end-all-be-all answer is to be cared for, but the absence of care (or even self-care) can seem like we are only existing for others.  Sometimes having someone to rely on can help take off some of the edge--the pressure--of all that is overwhelming.Despite that, it may be that the situation continues to be exactly what it is, providing a steady stream of stress for you (which would be so difficult).  I don't think anyone can tell you what to do because no one here has to live with those consequences, good or bad.  Just a note that sometimes with men it is harder to reach out for help.  Perhaps he feels comfortable enough for you to know he's struggling (which means you have provided him a safe space to do just that) but not comfortable enough to interact with a stranger about those same struggles.  Men often avoid therapy because it's seen as weak and/or means you need help.  Planting seeds here is sometimes all you can do, as hard as that is.As far as supporting goes, there's much more you can do there if he is ready to receive that.  If you are seeing him in the midst of panic, the best thing you can do is let him know you are there for him.  Maybe that means being there physically, or continuing to give him encouragement along the way (e.g., "You got this", "I know this is hard", etc.).  If you aren't present for the attacks but he's telling you about them, you can ask what you can provide for him in those moments or how you can help him afterward.  Panic attacks can be taxing on the body so sometimes people need time to recover.  Remember that you also need to recover here, too.  It's very painful to watch someone you love panic.  What might you need there?Of course, counseling can be a great place to work through that stress and overwhelm.  That time is all for you to be heard and understood.  You deserve to have someone there for you, too!

How can I be less anxious around new people?

I have developed bad social anxiety within the last year, and I just can't stand to be around people. I recently got a new girlfriend, and she is extremely close to her large family and wants me to be around them all of the time. My last visit with them, I was quiet and uncomfortable, and she got mad.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-be-less-anxious-around-new-people

anxiety

Dr. Meredyth LawrynceServing Clients Nationwide

https://counselchat.com/therapists/dr-meredyth-lawrynce

Take small steps each day. Go around a few people,  take a walk, and smile or wave at others.  Strike up a conversation in the grocery aisle.  Think of topics you enjoy and would like to share, could talk about, to break the ice. Maybe call some friends you once had and reconnect. Go at a pace that feels comfortable and in time you could release the reclusive energy to embrace a more social you.      I also wanted to share this short digital book with you. The Anxiety Antidote

How can I be less anxious around new people?

I have developed bad social anxiety within the last year, and I just can't stand to be around people. I recently got a new girlfriend, and she is extremely close to her large family and wants me to be around them all of the time. My last visit with them, I was quiet and uncomfortable, and she got mad.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-be-less-anxious-around-new-people

anxiety

Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPCLicensed Professional Counselor

https://counselchat.com/therapists/kaileen-mcmickle-ms-lpc

I think what you are describing is pretty common.  Even people without social anxiety have a hard time talking to their partner's family--it can feel overwhelming.One thing about social anxiety is that it creates avoidance behavior.  You may be avoiding conversation so you don't embarrass yourself or say something wrong, or maybe even feel like people don't like you.  The truth is that those are just simply fears.  You may overanalyze how people react when you put yourself out there, but we aren't that great at reading what people are actually thinking based on body language (unless we really know the person).  The challenge here is to avoid that avoidant behavior--talk to people.  You don't have to talk to everybody all at once.  Just find a person you feel safe(ish) with, someone that seems pretty nice and open.  It's ok to have anxiety about talking to people, and it's even ok if they know you are anxious.  Social anxiety can cause us to think too much about how we respond, which can make conversations seem choppy and unnatural.  Pay attention to the way you respond to people you have less or no anxiety talking with--what does this look like for you?  You can try to bring some of that to your conversations with her family.  Or with anyone, really.Another thing to know is that it's normal to change our conversational style to fit who we are talking with.  What that doesn't mean is being a completely different person--it's still totally OK to be you.  It's just like applying a different filter based on the situation.  Some of that will work itself out the more you practice and the more you put yourself out there.  It's tough to know what the boundaries are of expression sometimes, so be patient with yourself.  We all make many "mistakes" socially, but that's necessary to learn about ourselves.  Give yourself that chance!

How can I be less anxious around new people?

I have developed bad social anxiety within the last year, and I just can't stand to be around people. I recently got a new girlfriend, and she is extremely close to her large family and wants me to be around them all of the time. My last visit with them, I was quiet and uncomfortable, and she got mad.

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-be-less-anxious-around-new-people

anxiety

Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw

Congrats on the new gf!If you need a period of social withdrawal, then this is not necessarily a quality to fight with yourself against.If your girlfriend isn't empathetic and willing to tolerate a basic part of your personality, then set a standard for yourself of being respected.As long as you're willing to be around her family for her sake, then you're doing all you can do to please the girlfriend.The question is whether or not she is doing all she can to satisfy you, her boyfriend, to make you happy.Try explaining that you have needs too and ask her to consider your wish to be mostly quiet around her family.

Overcoming fears

I have a fear of something and I want to face that fear to overcome it, but I don't know how. What can I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/overcoming-fears

anxiety

Cory Ian Shafer LPCPsychotherapist, Jungian, Hypnotherapy

https://counselchat.com/therapists/cory-ian-shafer-lpc

Fears are not that difficult to deal with, first you need to train yourself to relax using some relaxation strategy, once you are able to employ that in your daily life, you then need to start facing your fear, for instance I'll use an example of a man who has a fear of driving over a bridge. We would build a hierarchy of fears, that is a list of fears ranging from least to most, for example the man may want to start by looking at a picture of a bridge while employing his relation technique, then he may want to see a real bridge from a distance while employing that same relaxation technique, then moving closer to the bridge, then maybe standing on a bridge, all the while moving closer to his fear while relaxing, until you come to most fearful proposition which is crossing that bridge, or you can also engage in flooding which is for example, if you were scared of an elevator, go into an elevator until you are not panicking anymore, in the movie Batman Begins, Bruce Wayne who has a great fear of bats, goes into this cave and allows himself to be surrounded by bats until he is no longer fearful of them. Secondly, look at your fears, do they even need to be worked on, some fears are healthy, for example if i was a therapist in New York City and someone came to me and said "I'm scared of snakes", I would probably say that is OK because there are very little snakes left in ManhattanHope that helps C

Overcoming fears

I have a fear of something and I want to face that fear to overcome it, but I don't know how. What can I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/overcoming-fears

anxiety

Dr. Meredyth LawrynceServing Clients Nationwide

https://counselchat.com/therapists/dr-meredyth-lawrynce

It is commendable that you have acknowledged the fact that you have this fear and that you want to overcome it! 👏🏽👏🏽  Micro steps, doing a little bit each day to get closer to your goal of overcoming it.  Working thru a list of mini-steps that you can accomplish until you are fully immersed in your fear and overcoming it.  As you accomplish each step along the way implementing micro rewards so you can feel a sense of accomplishment and reward at each interval, helps to want to keep going forward.  Immersive therapy could help in this area.

Overcoming fears

I have a fear of something and I want to face that fear to overcome it, but I don't know how. What can I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/overcoming-fears

anxiety

Kellie Spear, LCMHC, LMFTCompassionate online support & encouragement

https://counselchat.com/therapists/kellie-spear-lcmhc-lmft

Everyone has fears. Whatever your fear is it can be helpful to breakdown the thing that creates anxiety or fear into small steps. For instance, let's say you are afraid of speaking in public. If your goal would be to one day speak to a room of people, you would start by creating a list of lesser fears that would eventually lead to the main fear of speaking in public. You could start your list with things that might be less anxiety-producing such as, asking for help at a store or speaking up in class or at work if something is bothering you. As you build-up to what you fear the most you will have taken baby steps while assessing whether or not what you feared most was as bad as you thought it would be. If it wasn't, that will help boost your confidence and help move you to the next step. This is called an exposure hierarchy and it is something you can do on your own or with the help of a counselor.

Overcoming fears

I have a fear of something and I want to face that fear to overcome it, but I don't know how. What can I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/overcoming-fears

anxiety

Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPCLicensed Professional Counselor

https://counselchat.com/therapists/kaileen-mcmickle-ms-lpc

I think it's super brave to want to face your fears, so you are already moving in a great direction!No matter if your fear is something rational (e.g., fear of spiders), or something that seems irrational (e.g., fear of clocks), there is always a reason your brain has considered the thing you fear to be a threat.  Having a fear of spiders makes sense because in evolutionary terms, we need to fear things that could harm us.  On the other hand, fearing clocks may seem irrational without context; however, if you experienced something traumatic while listening to the ticking of a clock throughout the event, your brain may equate clocks with danger.  The reason for this is clear in much of the neuroscience research we have available.  In our brains we have amygdalae, which are basically just the "watch dogs" of the brain.  They are incredibly good at scanning our environment for any threats, whether or not we perceive those threats as rational because this part of the brain does not operate via logic--and it shouldn't.  If we sense danger because there's a bear in our presence, we don't need logic to survive--we need to just respond in ways that keep us safe.  If something really terrifying happens to us, our brains burn that all that information into the amygdalae, including any peripheral information.  This is why we can fear things that really aren't innately scary, like clocks.Moving through something you fear isn't easy.  It can be very emotionally difficult and feel pretty awful.  The good news is working with fears is one of the most researched areas of psychology and there are many evidence-based techniques that can help.One of the best techniques for changing the brain's response is exposure.  This technique involves exposing yourself, little by little, to the very thing you fear.  The reason this is so effective is because the amygdalae can only learn via experience.  If you avoid what you fear, that teaches your brain that that object or situation is dangerous, and over time that only strengthens the fear.  Conversely, if you expose yourself to something you fear and sit through a full fear response, eventually your anxiety returns to your baseline which sends the message that the object or situation is not dangerous.To begin with exposure, first it's important to have some mindfulness techniques built up.  This can be deep breathing, muscle tension/relaxation, etc.  It's important to know that this is in place for relaxation, not to distract from the exposure process because you really want to feel that anxiety to "wake up" the amygdalae--your brain can't learn a new response if you distract from the anxiety.  There's countless videos and recordings on youtube, as well as apps like Calm or Headspace that can teach some of those techniques.Next you can create a fear hierarchy.  Start with things connected to your fear that serve as triggers, but don't completely overwhelm you.  For example, if you have a fear of spiders you may start with pictures of spiders, then videos, then fake plastic spiders, seeing a spider in person, and finally touching a spider (non-poisonous).  This is a very simple list--some people have many, many triggers associated with their fears and that's normal.  When you have your list, you can scale each trigger by how much anxiety it gives you.  So on a scale from 1-100, if seeing pictures of spiders puts you at a 60, then your goal for that part of the hierarchy is to cut it in half to 30 (meaning you cut your anxiety in half).  Sometimes this can take multiple exposures with the same trigger, though exposure is very powerful and tends to be a much quicker process than most people think.  I know this is a lot of information to take in and I hope it all makes sense!  It's not all you can do, but it's so effective.  And of course it is best when you are getting assistance from a counselor (if you feel that you need that kind of support).  A counselor would be able to actually do some in-session mindfulness and exposure techniques with you (depending on the fear) to help prepare you for doing it on your own.

Overcoming fears

I have a fear of something and I want to face that fear to overcome it, but I don't know how. What can I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/overcoming-fears

anxiety

Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw

Your fear may have deeper roots within your sense of who you are, than you realize.   Fears are sometimes irrational so that logic doesn't get rid of them.Think about whether you felt secure and confident as a child.  Also, did any major bad events happen to you with other people or situations when you were growing up?Often these overwhelming situations of childhood stay with us as fears of situations in our adult lives.  If the root of the problem w the fear is from long ago, then probably a therapist who can ask you questions which help you remember upsetting childhood circumstances, may help you to dissolve the current fear.Another possibility is CBT, cognitive behavior therapy which teaches people short term mantras to do something which is safe, say being a passenger in a commercial airplane, which feels frightening to a person.CBT is short term and results are limited to specific fears.  It is a much quicker approach than self-understanding.

Overcoming fears

I have a fear of something and I want to face that fear to overcome it, but I don't know how. What can I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/overcoming-fears

anxiety

Alison ReppAnxiety specialist offering short-term therapy for lifelong vitality

https://counselchat.com/therapists/alison-repp

Fear is a part of life. In fact, our five main emotions are joy, fear, sadness, shame, and anger. We tend to spend a lot of time and energy running away from or trying to get rid of most of those emotions and the more we do that, the more we set ourselves up for failure and disappointment. As a result of viewing our human emotions as "bad" or "wrong," we often get caught up in a trap of thinking we have to overcome them or get rid of them before we can do what matters to us. In reality, you can do what is important to you while having your fears! My question for you is, what would you do if this fear was completely gone? What behaviors would you have if you were the ideal you? What skills, knowledge, or personal qualities would you develop? What kind of relationships would you have?I imagine your fear has kept you from achieving those goals because your mind tells you you can't do it until the fear is gone. I challenge you to do the following exercise:What is a goal you would like to achieve? Example: I would like to change careersWhat actions are necessary to complete this goal? Example: see a career counselor to determine my ideal career, go back to school/get a certification, network with others in my desired industryWhat thoughts, feelings, or urges might get in my way? Example: thoughts of "What if I fail? I'm not smart enough. I can't do it. I'm too busy to put energy into this." Feelings of fear, shame, excitement. Urges to distract myself through drinking or watch tv instead of taking action.It would be helpful to remind myself that: example: It is natural to have these thoughts, feelings, and urges but I can take action anyway. I deserve to have a fulfilling life.The smallest and easiest step I can take now: example: research career counselors in my area and write down their phone numbersThe time, day and date that I will take that first step, is: example: Tonight at 7pm At least think through these answers but it is most beneficial to write them down. I hope this helps!

Overcoming fears

I have a fear of something and I want to face that fear to overcome it, but I don't know how. What can I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/overcoming-fears

anxiety

Lauren Ostrowski, MA, LPC, NCC, BC-TMH, CCTP, CCHI tailor my therapeutic approach to each client's strengths and goals

https://counselchat.com/therapists/lauren-ostrowski-ma-lpc-ncc-bc-tmh-cctp-cch

This answer could be very different depending on the fear, the degree of it, and what it connects to.I wonder the following:On a scale of 1 to 10, how upset, anxious, or scared to you get when you think about overcoming this? If it's more than a 5/10, I would definitely recommend talking with a therapist in your area.A lot of fears that we have come from something that at one time was self-protective and important. Do you know where your fear started? If you think it is still protecting you or helping you in some way, talk with someone (like a therapist) about it.If it is something that you know is irrational (for example, fear of being hurt by static cling from winter clothing), is there some part of that that you are not afraid of?I really encourage you to consider whether your fear has a lot of emotions connected to it or if it ties from something in your past that was very emotional for you at the time. If it does, consider working with a therapist to establish emotional safety before taking away the fear or anxiety that may actually be helpful to you.Also, the fact that you notice that you are afraid of something and you don't want to be afraid of it anymore is a big step in the forward direction.

Overcoming fears

I have a fear of something and I want to face that fear to overcome it, but I don't know how. What can I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/overcoming-fears

anxiety

Kristi King-Morgan, LMSWSocial Worker, Psychotherapist

https://counselchat.com/therapists/kristi-king-morgan-lmsw

Biologically, fear is designed to protect us from harm. Fear is not always a bad thing, and in fact can be quite healthy and appropriate depending on the situation. A phobia, however, is different. You used the term "fear" rather than "phobia". A phobia is an irrational fear - meaning it is not rational for you to fear that thing. If your situation is a phobia, exposure therapy can help. This consists of gradually exposing yourself a little at a time to the thing you are afraid of. Some people with phobias find that the irrational fear interferes with their life and they do need to overcome it. Someone who is afraid to drive over bridges may go to great lengths to avoid routes that have bridges. People who are afraid of elevators may always use the stairs instead, which may not always be feasible. If overcoming a phobia will improve the quality of your life, then by all means, seek professional help to overcome it.Everyone has fears, or things that make them nervous. Public speaking, asking a person out, fear of failure. Examine what your fear is and try to determine the reason for the fear. When you can get to the root cause of the fear, you can deal with that issue. A lot of times, it is a self-esteem issue. You may be able to peel back the layers of the fear and find out what's causing it and deal with the real issue. Some fears are caused by trauma. Someone with PTSD is going to have an exaggerated fear response and will find themselves being kicked into "fight or flight" mode over things that someone without the trauma experience wouldn't notice or react to. In cases like this, exposure therapy would be the wrong approach and could actually make things worse. If there is a possibility that a past trauma is the cause of your fear, I strongly urge you to seek a therapist - not just any therapist, but one who is trained to work with trauma and abuse victims.

Overcoming fears

I have a fear of something and I want to face that fear to overcome it, but I don't know how. What can I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/overcoming-fears

anxiety

Robin Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCCMental Health in a Primary Care Setting

https://counselchat.com/therapists/robin-landwehr-dbh-lpcc-ncc

Hello, and thank you for your question. Overcoming fears is something that everyone struggles with at one time or another. Sometimes we come across something that scares us, we push through it and suddenly we aren't afraid anymore. But sometimes it can seem like our fears just take over and we cannot overcome them. There are some options:1. You can go to a counselor and receive some type of treatment. What kind of treatment would depend on the type of fears you are experiencing. For example, if you have a general phobia about something, they may use various techniques to help you manage it.  2. There are different websites and even some self-help books that you can use to try to overcome your fears. When it comes to overcoming certain fears or phobias, exposure therapy well-studied and proven to work. A therapist would help you with this, but some websites give instructions for how to do it yourself. I am not sure how well it works when you try it by yourself, but here is a link to a website that does offer some tools. http://psychology.tools/anxiety.htmlSome colleagues may offer you some other types of advice. Be well.Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCC

How can I make the voices stop?

I don't remember when the voices in my head started, but I remember Hearing them when I was little. I know it's not normal to hear voices that aren't your own. I fight the voices and I want them to stop. They've been here so long and I want them gone. How can I make the voices stop?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-make-the-voices-stop

anxiety

Dr. Meredyth LawrynceServing Clients Nationwide

https://counselchat.com/therapists/dr-meredyth-lawrynce

You are valid.   It is very unnerving when thoughts control your life.  One way to combat them is to figure out whose voice the words are said in. Oftentimes people say things to us and it stays with us, and it is not often true.  We let others’ opinions penetrate our brains and live rent-free in our heads.  You could try to rewrite the thoughts, the negative thoughts, rewrite them in a positive way.   For example “you are not worth anything” you could rewrite that in a way that shows all the ways you are worthy.  Write all your accomplishments, and things you have overcome and proof that you are in fact worthy because you are!  You can  Interrupt the thought, focus, redirect elsewhere. If you are replaying a specific moment you could go back into that moment and retell the moment, rewrite the moment so that it is what you would rather it have been. Your mind does not know anything other than what we feed it. Feed and integrate more positive thoughts and actions into your routine to possibly see a positive change, a change for the better! This video could be beneficial for you ▶ Negotiating With Inner Critic

How can I make the voices stop?

I don't remember when the voices in my head started, but I remember Hearing them when I was little. I know it's not normal to hear voices that aren't your own. I fight the voices and I want them to stop. They've been here so long and I want them gone. How can I make the voices stop?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-make-the-voices-stop

anxiety

Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw

How is your life going overall?Since you hear voices since you were young I wonder whether you mean the thoughts each of us has about what to do, our opinions, including self-criticism and praise.I try to understand how severe a problem these voices are if you've managed to get to a point in life of awareness about the voices.Usually when mental health people hear about voices the immediate thought is you need drugs bc you are psychotic.Since this is going on for a number of years, I wonder if the problem is something different.

How can I make the voices stop?

I don't remember when the voices in my head started, but I remember Hearing them when I was little. I know it's not normal to hear voices that aren't your own. I fight the voices and I want them to stop. They've been here so long and I want them gone. How can I make the voices stop?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-make-the-voices-stop

anxiety

Vikas KeshriRecovery from mental illness is possible

https://counselchat.com/therapists/vikas-keshri

You are right. It is not normal to hear voices that aren't your own but the fact is some people do. In my experience, medication seem to help. It is also important to understand when you hear voices the most - meaning it is important to understand what the triggers are. It is also important to understand when the voices are the least - meaning what helps you deal with the voices better. My clients have reported that their triggers are being in social gathering or around strangers or for some even the TV. Trying to identify your triggers is helpful for some people. Clients have also reported that listening to music, watching TV, being with friend or family helps them deal with their voices. Every individual is different and you need to figure out what works for you and what triggers your voices. My suggestion is to see a therapist / health care provider and then go from there.I hope this helps.

How can I make the voices stop?

I don't remember when the voices in my head started, but I remember Hearing them when I was little. I know it's not normal to hear voices that aren't your own. I fight the voices and I want them to stop. They've been here so long and I want them gone. How can I make the voices stop?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-make-the-voices-stop

anxiety

Karen Keys, LMHC, CASAC, NCCRecovery and Wellness Expertise

https://counselchat.com/therapists/karen-keys-lmhc-casac-ncc

First, let me express my support and compassion for what you're going through. Hearing voices can be incredibly difficult and can feel like you can't get a moment's peace, even in the privacy of your own mind. And not everyone will necessarily understand what you're dealing with, so I imagine you may also be feeling isolated or somehow different. Atta girl/boy on reaching out for help! Many people find benefit to taking medications, such as risperdal, seroquel, and so on. These should be prescribed by a nurse practitioner or psychiatrist -- I do not recommend a primary care doctor venture into this area, as a general rule. Discuss the options thoroughly and insist on a good rapport with your prescriber, if you decide to go this route. Some people are having results with a talk-therapist to develop coping strategies. There is a new and somewhat less conventional approach to challenging voices with a professional to assist you, rather than to suppress the voices, which medication will do. There is peer-run organization and a general approach that attempts to live with voices in a different way.  You can read about it in Living With Voices by Marius Romme. I have heard interviews but have not read the book(s) and can't speak to its efficacy. No matter what steps you decide to try, managing your stress, sleep, exercise, healthy food is essential -- in other words, just the daily care and feeding of yourself should be included in all of your efforts and bears surprising benefits to your brain and emotional health. Best wishes to you,Karen Keys, LMHC, CASAC

How can I make the voices stop?

I don't remember when the voices in my head started, but I remember Hearing them when I was little. I know it's not normal to hear voices that aren't your own. I fight the voices and I want them to stop. They've been here so long and I want them gone. How can I make the voices stop?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-make-the-voices-stop

anxiety

Kristi King-Morgan, LMSWSocial Worker, Psychotherapist

https://counselchat.com/therapists/kristi-king-morgan-lmsw

This isn't something you can do on your own. If you haven't already, you need to see a medical doctor ASAP to rule out medical causes for this. Many diseases, illnesses, and conditions can cause hallucinations. In the elderly, sometimes it's something as simple as a urinary tract infection. Some medicines may have that side effect as well.However, you say you've been hearing them since you were little. I have no idea how old you are now, but something that has been going on for many years does lead me to think it could be a type of schizophrenia. A psychiatrist could diagnose that after taking a complete look at your history, medical history, etc. There are medications that they can put you on that will help. One thing that I find encouraging is that you recognize you're hearing voices. This means you are not so far into a delusion as to believe it is real. A lot of people that hear or see things that aren't there are not able to have the awareness that these things are not real. They fully believe what they're hearing/seeing. It's completely real to them. Because you have the awareness that you do, I feel this is a very good sign that with treatment you can live a normal life (assuming you are not already receiving treatment for it. If you are and are still hearing the voices, please know that medications often need to be changed and adjusted, and the voices may never completely go away but medicines certainly help dull them a lot. Always talk to your doctor when it seems your symptoms are getting worse so that they can make the necessary medication adjustments for you).If at any time the voices are telling you to do something, please go to an ER as this is an emergency. Sometimes people hear voices telling them to harm themselves, harm someone else, or do other things that are against the law. Do not try to deal with something like that on your own. There are people who can help.

I fell in love with someone who bullies me

I have a friend who I became quite close to, close enough for us to insult each other lightly for humor. But eventually, that went too far. Recently, I've realized that it is causing me lots of stress and anxiety. I can't get away because I fell in love with them.

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-fell-in-love-with-someone-who-bullies-me

anxiety

Dr. Meredyth LawrynceServing Clients Nationwide

https://counselchat.com/therapists/dr-meredyth-lawrynce

Sending you positive vibes as you contend with loving someone who bullies you.  Have you discussed how this leads you to feel and if they can stop? Open honest communication is a key cornerstone in relationships.  Take away the bullying and list the other qualities about them you love. Also, write down the pros and cons of staying versus leaving. If possible dig into what leads you to love someone who bullies you?  Were you bullied by someone you love in the past and this resonates because it is familiar? Also please journal if you wish around the graphic enclosed.

I have difficulty with communication

I am a really shy person. I'm currently in a graduate program which requires lots of presentations, but they always make me feel stressed out and less confident. How can I get more confident?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-have-difficulty-with-communication

anxiety

Frank WalkerI help couples manage the bumpy road called marriage. Whether your marriage needs a tune up, a major overhaul or just a flat tire changed. I can help.

https://counselchat.com/therapists/frank-walker

Wow, congratulations on being in a masters program. You are in a unique place. So few have reached that level. You should give yourself a pat on the back.Confidence is not something that comes naturally. But can and does come with practice.Having gone through two masters programs I can sympathize with your your dilemma. So how is the stress affecting you?Is it serious enough to stop you from presenting or is it just "butterflies"?There are many ways of dealing with the anxiety and stress. Much depends on how serious the stress is.So here are a few ideas:1. Practice in front of a mirror.Sounds strange but the practice helps.2. Ask some friends to listen to your presentations. Not so much for their input as to just get used to presenting.3. Focus on the material you are presenting. The subject matter is what you want to get across. Step away from your nerves and get into the facts you want to present. Let the material you present be the focus. 4. Remember everyone else is just as nervous as you. Share your fears with some of your classmates and gain support from them. Focus on a friendly face during the presentation. Be a support to them in return.5. "Fake it, till you make it". Yes it sounds blunt. But sometimes that's what it takes. Even if you feel like it, you won't die.So much more can be discussed with a competent counselor. Take the time to let a professional help you work through this.Again you have come a long way to be in a graduate program. Congratulations you have done great work so far. It's just one step at a time, take the steps.

I have difficulty with communication

I am a really shy person. I'm currently in a graduate program which requires lots of presentations, but they always make me feel stressed out and less confident. How can I get more confident?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-have-difficulty-with-communication

anxiety

Amy NolanYour journey to wellness starts here!

https://counselchat.com/therapists/amy-nolan

A good way to start is the language or "self talk" that is happening inside your mind.  Looking at your question, when it is said that the presentations "make me feel stress" you are giving the responsibility of the stress to the presentations and taking that away from your self.  The presentations cannot give or take away your stress, that's something only you can do and you can do it!   What language can you change in your self talk?  For example, are you saying "I can't speak in front of an audience! I'll fail?"  That sounds a lot different than "I studied my butt off and if I practice speaking out loud, I can ace this presentation!"  Although this is a short answer, I do believe that counseling will help you overcome these stressful feelings and bring out your inner confidence.

I have difficulty with communication

I am a really shy person. I'm currently in a graduate program which requires lots of presentations, but they always make me feel stressed out and less confident. How can I get more confident?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-have-difficulty-with-communication

anxiety

Dr. Meredyth LawrynceServing Clients Nationwide

https://counselchat.com/therapists/dr-meredyth-lawrynce

I wanted to share these two short books (see below). You could also look into working on your throat chakra which deals with speaking your truth, self-expression,  being heard.  Communication Crunch High Impact Communication

I have difficulty with communication

I am a really shy person. I'm currently in a graduate program which requires lots of presentations, but they always make me feel stressed out and less confident. How can I get more confident?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-have-difficulty-with-communication

anxiety

Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPCLicensed Professional Counselor

https://counselchat.com/therapists/kaileen-mcmickle-ms-lpc

I was the very same way when I was in graduate school.  It makes sense that speaking in front of others would be scary because all of the attention is on you and you probably have expectations to meet each time (including your own).Practice is the best way to build confidence before a speech.  Feeling prepared reduces anxiety for speaking just like it would for taking a test--you are solidifying the pathways in your brain that store and recall the information you need to know and speak about.Remember that it's pretty normal to feel increased anxiety before and during a speech.  It's something that matters to you, so your body is trying to prepare you to fight through it.  It can often feel like your body is working against you when it is actually doing quite the opposite!Also remember that people typically are not aware of how anxious you are.  They cannot hear your heart racing, they don't have access to your racing thoughts or insecurities, and they cannot feel the butterflies in your stomach.  When you practice your speech, practice appearing confident as well.  Identify a couple focal points where you practice and pretend those are people.  Confident posture and eye contact can help you feel more confident about what you are speaking about.  When you get to the actual speech, have a couple focal points that you switch your gaze to every few seconds.  People will perceive that as confidence, even if you aren't looking directly into everyone's eyes (which can be intimidating).Don't forget to breathe!  Taking a few deep breaths can send the message to your brain that what you are about to do is not dangerous--you are safe.  You'll still feel anxiety, but that's OK!  During your presentation, you can continue that in a sense by speaking slower.  It may seem like you are talking too slowly, but when you are anxious, it's actually a natural response to talk too fast.Try to visualize yourself doing well and remind yourself that you can make it through a presentation.  When it's over, give yourself that credit!

I have difficulty with communication

I am a really shy person. I'm currently in a graduate program which requires lots of presentations, but they always make me feel stressed out and less confident. How can I get more confident?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-have-difficulty-with-communication

anxiety

Krista Harper, MA, LMFTLicensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Georgia and Hawaii

https://counselchat.com/therapists/krista-harper-ma-lmft

First of all, way to go in stretching yourself out of your comfort zone! You are sure to grow through all of this practice presenting to your peers, and that in itself will help to grow your confidence over time. In the meantime, do whatever you can to help yourself feel prepared for each presentation. Do your work ahead of time so that you feel well-informed on your topic, and then spend the days leading up to your presentation practicing. Do your presentation in the mirror, while you are driving (if it won't distract you from the road), and practice in front of a friend. On the day of the presentation, eat a balanced meal, get a pep talk from a supportive friend, use deep breathing to keep your body calm, and remind yourself that you are prepared. You got this!

I have difficulty with communication

I am a really shy person. I'm currently in a graduate program which requires lots of presentations, but they always make me feel stressed out and less confident. How can I get more confident?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-have-difficulty-with-communication

anxiety

Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw

Have you tried rehearsing to yourself or a trusted friend what you will present to the class?   The more confident you feel in a safe space, the more chance there will be of making the same presentation to a larger group.Giving presentations is not necessarily a difficulty with communication.   It has more to do with performance than expressing yourself clearly.Practice, practice, and practice, until you see yourself improve in how you present.Also, keep in mind that whatever anxiety you may feel about making a mistake, the audience is almost alway much more forgiving than the person who feels anxious.Anxiety heightens fear, so whatever concerns you have, check if they are growing from anxiety instead of a realistic assessment of your abilities or audience receptivity.Good luck!

I have difficulty with communication

I am a really shy person. I'm currently in a graduate program which requires lots of presentations, but they always make me feel stressed out and less confident. How can I get more confident?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-have-difficulty-with-communication

anxiety

Darlene ViggianoLet Your Inner Light Shine!

https://counselchat.com/therapists/darlene-viggiano

I can offer you hypnosis for confidence in presentations, via Skype, if you're in Cali.

How do I get over "imposter syndrome"?

I'm dealing with imposter syndrome in graduate school. I know that by all accounts I am a phenomenal graduate student, and that I am well-published. I am well liked by students and faculty alike. And yet I cannot shake the feeling that I'm going to be found out as a fraud. How can I get over this feeling?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-get-over-imposter-syndrome

anxiety

Samantha OsborneEncouraging and Compassionate

https://counselchat.com/therapists/samantha-osborne

It sounds like you are on the right track. Recognizing these nagging thoughts of self- doubt as "imposter syndrome" is a huge step in the right direction.  From what you have written here, it appears that you are able to challenge your own thoughts and provide yourself with evidence that counteracts the imposter syndrome.   Continuing to remind yourself of what you have accomplished and looking at the facts at hand can help diminish doubt.  Remember, many successful people battled imposter syndrome on the way to the top (and still manage it).  It might be helpful to read some of their stories so that you don't feel alone.  "The Cut" has a great article on "25 Famous Women on Imposter-Syndrome and Self-Doubt".   Business Insider has a great article about men and the imposter syndrome too.  Remember, if you jumped through all of the hoops to get into school and get published-- you belong.

How do I get over "imposter syndrome"?

I'm dealing with imposter syndrome in graduate school. I know that by all accounts I am a phenomenal graduate student, and that I am well-published. I am well liked by students and faculty alike. And yet I cannot shake the feeling that I'm going to be found out as a fraud. How can I get over this feeling?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-get-over-imposter-syndrome

anxiety

Marianne Cook, EdD, LICSWPsychotherapy for Higher Education

https://counselchat.com/therapists/marianne-cook-edd-licsw

Impostor syndrome is such a common experience in graduate school and other high-pressure, competitive settings. I am glad to hear that you have some sense of your accomplishments, but I understand that it can be quite hard to internalize and truly believe them. Here are a few suggestions for overcoming impostor syndrome:Check your standards. Impostor syndrome is often connected to perfectionism, and you may be holding impossibly high standards for yourself. Do you believe you need to know everything, excel at everything, or be liked by everyone in order to succeed in graduate school? If so, nothing you accomplish will ever measure up to your ideals. Try shifting your focus away from achievement and onto development: what are you learning about yourself and your research, and how are you growing as a person and a scholar? This can help you appreciate yourself as a work in progress -- which all of us fundamentally are.Own your uniqueness. It can be easy to compare yourself to peers based on number of publications, fellowships, conferences, etc. But you are not a number. You are the only person in your program with your specific background, interests, and point of view. The more you own what makes you special and distinct from others, the more you're likely to feel that you have something to contribute to your program and to your field.Celebrate your successes. Positive psychology has demonstrated that we can retrain our minds by paying more attention to positive information. I recommend keeping a success journal and jotting down anything (large or small, concrete or abstract) that you feel proud of. Aim to make a few additions a day to it. You may find that through pointing out these daily victories to yourself, you start to accept more positive feedback and believe in yourself in a deeper way.Talk to trusted peers and mentors. Impostor syndrome flourishes in silence. If you have an advisor or colleague you can open up to, you will likely find that this person has experienced similar feelings, and that can be tremendously reassuring, because it shows you that impostor syndrome is a common phenomenon, not a manifestation of your inner unworthiness.A therapist can be an excellent resource on your graduate school journey to help you examine, challenge, and let go of your self-doubts. I wish you the best of luck in graduate school and beyond!

How do I get over "imposter syndrome"?

I'm dealing with imposter syndrome in graduate school. I know that by all accounts I am a phenomenal graduate student, and that I am well-published. I am well liked by students and faculty alike. And yet I cannot shake the feeling that I'm going to be found out as a fraud. How can I get over this feeling?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-get-over-imposter-syndrome

anxiety

Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw

First step is to remove the label of your behavior as a syndrome and instead understand the reasons for it."Imposter syndrome" sounds like a name someone made up to write a book and have lots of people buy it bc it gives the feeling they know themselves by calling themselves this name.Instead, consider your own unique qualities including your fears of being recognized as adding value to people's lives.If you were told growing up that you're worthless, or if your chosen career goes against family advice and expectations, or if you simply are a shy person, then these would be the starting points to understand your reluctance to believe in yourself.The more you understand yourself and trust the truths you find as to who you are, the less you will feel fraudulent.Good luck in your career work!

How do I get over "imposter syndrome"?

I'm dealing with imposter syndrome in graduate school. I know that by all accounts I am a phenomenal graduate student, and that I am well-published. I am well liked by students and faculty alike. And yet I cannot shake the feeling that I'm going to be found out as a fraud. How can I get over this feeling?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-get-over-imposter-syndrome

anxiety

Rossana MagalhaesCouple & Family therapist

https://counselchat.com/therapists/rossana-magalhaes

It would be very helpful to identify with you eventual pattern where the imposter syndrome is more or less present. Are there specific situations where you've noticed the feelings of "I'm going to be found out as a fraud" becoming more strong? It seems that shaking this feeling is very important to you. In my opinion, before shaking that feeling, we need to get closer to it and understand its roots. If you would like to get closer to the feeling, you might consider asking yourself questions such: "What is the trigger for this feeling? How does it feel in the body? What is the thought process I engage with after noticing this feeling? All the best. Rossana Mag.

How do I get over "imposter syndrome"?

I'm dealing with imposter syndrome in graduate school. I know that by all accounts I am a phenomenal graduate student, and that I am well-published. I am well liked by students and faculty alike. And yet I cannot shake the feeling that I'm going to be found out as a fraud. How can I get over this feeling?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-get-over-imposter-syndrome

anxiety

Dr. Meredyth LawrynceServing Clients Nationwide

https://counselchat.com/therapists/dr-meredyth-lawrynce

Much of feeling like an imposter is about our comparing ourselves to others and carrying what others think.   Make a note of what all leads you to feel as if you are an imposter and then as with a science experiment write down all the ways that hypothesis is incorrect, write down all the ways you are not a fraud.  You are valid.  View this video at your leisure. Negotiating With Inner Critic

How do I get over "imposter syndrome"?

I'm dealing with imposter syndrome in graduate school. I know that by all accounts I am a phenomenal graduate student, and that I am well-published. I am well liked by students and faculty alike. And yet I cannot shake the feeling that I'm going to be found out as a fraud. How can I get over this feeling?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-get-over-imposter-syndrome

anxiety

Audrey ONealBi-lingual Psychotherapist and HeartMath Certified Practitioner

https://counselchat.com/therapists/audrey-oneal-2

According to research, one of the ways to manage imposter feelings is to explore the cognitive distortions that contribute to the negative emotions. Expert  Jessica Vanderland, Ph.D a clinical psychologist.  challenges individuals to examine the bigger picture and asked the question concerning  what fact supports that you deserve to be in your role? Vanderland said, "it can help to zoom out and consider how where you are now compares to where you were last year or five years ago."  Vanderland recommended a simple exercise of exploring how you might help a friend who undermines their achievements and then apply the same supportive words to their your own narrative.

How do I get over "imposter syndrome"?

I'm dealing with imposter syndrome in graduate school. I know that by all accounts I am a phenomenal graduate student, and that I am well-published. I am well liked by students and faculty alike. And yet I cannot shake the feeling that I'm going to be found out as a fraud. How can I get over this feeling?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-get-over-imposter-syndrome

anxiety

Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPCLicensed Professional Counselor

https://counselchat.com/therapists/kaileen-mcmickle-ms-lpc

What you described is so common for graduate students.  When I was in graduate school, I felt the same way and continue to at times now even though I'm licensed!One of the things to know is that it's good to a certain degree to experience some self-doubt.  It's what pushes you to keep learning in your field and grow professionally.  When you are in graduate school, you're really at the beginning of that journey so of course you aren't expected to know everything or to feel like you have mastered what you've learned.Do you have a professor you are comfortable discussing this with?  Or maybe a fellow student you feel a connection with?  It can be helpful to discuss these concerns with people that might understand what you are going through and can offer some guidance or make you feel less alone in it.Something I do to quiet that "imposter voice" is make sure I'm not giving attention to comparisons.  That's a one way ticket to feeling incompetent.  Even comparing yourself to others in graduate school is unhelpful because what we think people know and what they actually know can be distorted based on how confident we feel in our own abilities.  Look at your accomplishments and the things you have truly learned.  You obviously put in some incredibly hard work to make it into graduate school.  How much credit are you giving yourself for what you already have done or know?

How do I get over "imposter syndrome"?

I'm dealing with imposter syndrome in graduate school. I know that by all accounts I am a phenomenal graduate student, and that I am well-published. I am well liked by students and faculty alike. And yet I cannot shake the feeling that I'm going to be found out as a fraud. How can I get over this feeling?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-get-over-imposter-syndrome

anxiety

Candice Conroy, LMHCFind relief from anxiety, depression, and trauma.

https://counselchat.com/therapists/candice-conroy-lmhc

Imposted Syndrome is often linked to feelings of shame - shame about our own inadequacies, our imperfections, the limits of our knowledge or abilities. It's based on the belief that in order to be valuable, you must be perfect. Often times, the standards for this are so unrealistic, that when we really look at them, we can cognitively see that it's impossible to achieve. Here are a few of the common beliefs that typically underlie Imposter Syndrome:I must know everything there is to know about this and have no gaps in my knowledgeI must be perfect at every task the first time I tryI must never make mistakesI must always appear confident and never let on that I have any doubtsSo in order to appear valuable, you must hide your imperfections. The only problem is that this behavior does a few things that actually keeps you stuck in Imposter Syndrome. Hiding things you're ashamed of (such as your lack of knowledge in a new area) only reinforces the emotional feeling that this is "bad" or "wrong"It keeps you from having the experience of others knowing you're not perfect and still accepting and valuing you anywayIt keeps you from asking for help or information when you might need it, making it more likely your performance will actually sufferIt can cause you to come off as not needing support or guidance, so that will be given to others who acknowledge their imperfections and limitations openlyIn order to decrease the feeling of Imposter Syndrome, it can be helpful to take small steps such as asking for help, information, or clarification when you need it; acknowledging the limits of your experience of knowledge; and taking every practice as a learning experience rather than a test of whether or not you deserve to be there.

How do I get over "imposter syndrome"?

I'm dealing with imposter syndrome in graduate school. I know that by all accounts I am a phenomenal graduate student, and that I am well-published. I am well liked by students and faculty alike. And yet I cannot shake the feeling that I'm going to be found out as a fraud. How can I get over this feeling?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-get-over-imposter-syndrome

anxiety

Dr. Timothy Paul'man'; Online - "Natural Health Consultant and Coach"

https://counselchat.com/therapists/dr-timothy-paul

"Imposter Syndrome" is a basic effect is a dishonest cause.Basically, there is a fundamental lack of honesty in some important parts of your life (my guess would be relationships) that has led to this sense of dread and guilt.I wonder where the dishonesty be...

How do I get over "imposter syndrome"?

I'm dealing with imposter syndrome in graduate school. I know that by all accounts I am a phenomenal graduate student, and that I am well-published. I am well liked by students and faculty alike. And yet I cannot shake the feeling that I'm going to be found out as a fraud. How can I get over this feeling?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-get-over-imposter-syndrome

anxiety

Emily ForsytheHelping clients be their most authentic selves

https://counselchat.com/therapists/emily-forsythe

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. You've probably read articles already about impostor syndrome, but still didn't get the answers you were looking for; you probably know that lots of people feel this way, that it happens to lots of successful people in professional settings. Not helping, right?Think about people who succeed at big tasks: an Olympic athlete has a defined goal that they need to meet: cross the finish line, say, faster than anyone else. That success is remarked upon, and - until someone does the event better than they did - they are 'the best.' Grad school, however, is not so great at discrete goals and celebrations of success. You got a good grade on an assignment, but what about the next one? You and 6 other people in your class probably got the same grade, so does that make you a success or average? It falls to you, then, to identify ways you are sure you've succeeded. If your grades and peer admiration aren't hallmarks of success enough, perhaps pull your measuring tool inward: measure your achievements against your own progress- ie: I got a 93 on my last assignment, I got a 97 this time! You might find those feelings fading soon~

I want to feel more comfortable around people

My son was diagnosed with autism a few years ago and I stopped working so that I could take care of him. I also was dealing with an abusive relationship (mentally, physically, and emotionally). Now I live like a recluse and I always feel nervous around people. How can I feel more comfortable around other people?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-want-to-feel-more-comfortable-around-people

anxiety

Dr. John Frampton

https://counselchat.com/therapists/dr-john-frampton

There's a lot of layers there to your situation, and I'm focusing on two layers that may be contributing to your feelings of discomfort around others.  One layer is the daunting news that your son has autism.  Many parents can feel overwhelmed and distraught with this diagnosis.  The vast array of treatments available is daunting in and of itself at times to wrap one's head around.  Taking time to reflect or seek out therapy regarding how this diagnosis has impacted you may be helpful.  Some parents feel their individual identity gets lost in the diagnosis because they have dropped everything to help their child, and others may experience guilt.  If either of these or other feelings come to the forefront for you, it may be worth working through them with a therapist.  A support group list is available through www.autismspeaks.org and may help connect you with others raising children with autism.A second layer is the abusive relationship you were involved in.  The trauma you experienced in this relationship may have a very meaningful impact on your ability to trust and to be intimate with others.  Engaging with a therapist can help facilitate the healing process, as well as paving the way for more comfortable and trusting relationships.

I want to feel more comfortable around people

My son was diagnosed with autism a few years ago and I stopped working so that I could take care of him. I also was dealing with an abusive relationship (mentally, physically, and emotionally). Now I live like a recluse and I always feel nervous around people. How can I feel more comfortable around other people?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-want-to-feel-more-comfortable-around-people

anxiety

Dr. Meredyth LawrynceServing Clients Nationwide

https://counselchat.com/therapists/dr-meredyth-lawrynce

Take small steps each day. Go around a few people,  take a walk, and smile or wave at others.  Strike up a conversation in the grocery aisle.  Think of topics you enjoy and would like to share, could talk about, to break the ice. Maybe call some friends you once had and reconnect. Go at a pace that feels comfortable and in time you could release the reclusive energy to embrace a more social you.  This video could be beneficial also.   How To Make Friends As An Adult

I want to feel more comfortable around people

My son was diagnosed with autism a few years ago and I stopped working so that I could take care of him. I also was dealing with an abusive relationship (mentally, physically, and emotionally). Now I live like a recluse and I always feel nervous around people. How can I feel more comfortable around other people?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-want-to-feel-more-comfortable-around-people

anxiety

Gayle WeillSpecializing in relationships and parenting - additional certifications in Child-parent psychotherapy, Circle of Security-Parenting program, adoption competency, hypnosis, and EMDR

https://counselchat.com/therapists/gayle-weill

I have to start off by saying that I admire you so much for your devotion to your son and the fact that you stopped working to focus on and care for him. That cannot have been easy! Not to mention being in an abusive relationship where you are made to fear for your physical but also your emotional safety. You may or may not believe this- but it sounds like you’re a really strong person. And it also sounds like you want to feel better about yourself and be social with others, however you don’t know how to do that right now because like any normal person who has been harmed by someone and who has felt unsafe by someone you may not trust so easily, you are out of practice with being around others and having healthy relationships, and because of what you have been through you get anxiety from being social. The fact that you want to change that though is a huge positive. Was there ever a time when you didn’t feel nervous around others? Was there ever a time when you did feel comfortable around people? What goes through your mind when the idea of socializing comes up? These are some questions to explore in order to determine how you could feel more comfortable around people. In order to really answer your question I feel I need more information from you. In the meantime though, the first step is to recognize that you are not abnormal in your feelings, QUITE the opposite, and to not put pressure on yourself when you feel nervous around others. My suggestion is to seek therapy so that someone can make more specific recommendations by asking you some more questions, as more information is needed to really assist. Best of luck!

I want to feel more comfortable around people

My son was diagnosed with autism a few years ago and I stopped working so that I could take care of him. I also was dealing with an abusive relationship (mentally, physically, and emotionally). Now I live like a recluse and I always feel nervous around people. How can I feel more comfortable around other people?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-want-to-feel-more-comfortable-around-people

anxiety

Tara Green, LCSWFeel alive again; solution focused and goal oriented therapy

https://counselchat.com/therapists/tara-green-lcsw

Its understandable that you would feel this way considering what you have been and are going through with your son and the past abusive relationship. It sounds like you got into a pattern of being home with your son and not around others for a while so understandably  you have gotten used to this lifestyle. That makes it harder but not impossible to get back out there and be around other people and begin to feel more comfortable around others again. You can do this by taking baby steps. Take it slow, try reaching out to one person who you know and like and maybe meet them for coffee. Try putting yourself in a setting that feels non threatening to outside your home  and is something you can also enjoy even with your son, depending on his needs. It will take time as you probably want to process your feelings about what you went through but you can get there. Good luck!

I want to feel more comfortable around people

My son was diagnosed with autism a few years ago and I stopped working so that I could take care of him. I also was dealing with an abusive relationship (mentally, physically, and emotionally). Now I live like a recluse and I always feel nervous around people. How can I feel more comfortable around other people?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-want-to-feel-more-comfortable-around-people

anxiety

David KleinHumanistic, LGBT-Affirmative Psychotherapy for Individuals & Couples

https://counselchat.com/therapists/david-klein

It might be helpful to have a good understanding of the "why" in terms of feeling nervous around people, or the difficulty in developing more comfort. If your discomfort is somehow related to your son's diagnosis or your lack of employment, or an abusive relationship you were in and maybe embarrassed about, that is important to understand, and get clarity around. When we can understand on a deep level what is happening for us (i.e., where does fear come into this, and what's it about) we can give ourselves empathy. Everyone struggles in some aspect, so to not necessarily think of yourself as pathological is a first step. Sometimes being around people can trigger an anxiety related to being "good enough" that goes back a ways in our history. If any of the above is true, it would need acknowledgement and care from you, as opposed to shaming that experience (in the hopes it would just go away), because this experience is very real for you.

I want to feel more comfortable around people

My son was diagnosed with autism a few years ago and I stopped working so that I could take care of him. I also was dealing with an abusive relationship (mentally, physically, and emotionally). Now I live like a recluse and I always feel nervous around people. How can I feel more comfortable around other people?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-want-to-feel-more-comfortable-around-people

anxiety

Emily ForsytheHelping clients be their most authentic selves

https://counselchat.com/therapists/emily-forsythe

I'd wonder first if you were still in the same home and neighborhood where you raised your son and experienced the abuse? In many ways, we react to our environments - and if you're still surrounded by neighbors who didn't reach out when they heard your ex yelling or offer assistance and resources when your son acted differently than his peers, it might make sense that you're more timid around folks. It might also be worth thinking about where your bar is set: do you want to be as comfortable around people as you were before your recent circumstances? Or find your new normal, and connect only with people who raise you up and bolster your self-esteem? You have the right to be both cautious (if you're still surrounded by the same folks and environment) and discerning - only connecting with people who will be supportive. All the best~

I want to feel more comfortable around people

My son was diagnosed with autism a few years ago and I stopped working so that I could take care of him. I also was dealing with an abusive relationship (mentally, physically, and emotionally). Now I live like a recluse and I always feel nervous around people. How can I feel more comfortable around other people?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-want-to-feel-more-comfortable-around-people

anxiety

Jenifer FinkelsteinNCC, LPCC 44

https://counselchat.com/therapists/jenifer-finkelstein

It sounds like you have taken on a caretaker role for a while as well as experienced some pretty severe interpersonal trauma.  It makes sense that you would feel nervous around people.  Working through the trauma of an abusive relationship in itself can be a difficult process.  And then to add on the caretaker part can make things even more difficult.  First off, you may want to seek support to work through what you have experienced.  Many cities offer support with survivors of domestic violence and there is a hotline to help with this 888-724-7240 as well as online resources.  Processing the isolation of this relationship as well as working with your son can help to overcome the anxiety related to others.  Accessing autism support networks may be of support as well.  Other parents that will understand your experiences are a good and tend to be safer place to start in attempting to connect to others.Very importantly, go slow and be kind to yourself as you begin to adapt to a new life of allowing others to care for you as you so clearly have for others.

I want to feel more comfortable around people

My son was diagnosed with autism a few years ago and I stopped working so that I could take care of him. I also was dealing with an abusive relationship (mentally, physically, and emotionally). Now I live like a recluse and I always feel nervous around people. How can I feel more comfortable around other people?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-want-to-feel-more-comfortable-around-people

anxiety

2nd Chance Counseling Service Online Addiction Therapy ProviderConvenient Online Addiction Therapy

https://counselchat.com/therapists/2nd-chance-counseling-service-online-addiction-therapy-provider

I would look at  getting engaged with a support network of individuals who may also have autistic children.  They will understand some of the things that you are experiencing at home and you may also find someone who feels that same way as you. If you have not sought professional counseling for the abusive relationship I would seek out a therapist who can help you process through it so you do not repeat similar choices in your next relationship.

I want to feel more comfortable around people

My son was diagnosed with autism a few years ago and I stopped working so that I could take care of him. I also was dealing with an abusive relationship (mentally, physically, and emotionally). Now I live like a recluse and I always feel nervous around people. How can I feel more comfortable around other people?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-want-to-feel-more-comfortable-around-people

anxiety

Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw

Probably a good portion of living like a recluse was necessary so you had time to rest and recuperate from so much major adjustment in your life.Have you told some of the people in your life about the many changes you've been through?   It is possible people sense something different about you and aren't sure whether to ask or not ask questions.Also, understand what type of qualities you'd like to offer and receive in a friendship.   Given that raising a kid who has autism takes a lot of energy and time, the way you socialize will change.Start with one person whom you're pretty sure would welcome you and whom you would gain by bringing them into your life.As a result of how this interaction goes, how you decide to spend your time together, what you'll discuss, you will know more about yourself and what you require to feel good around other people.Then, you can consider if you're ready to add others into your world.

How can I learn to be content and at peace?

I recently broke up with my boyfriend After being together for over 4 years. I truly believe I did the right thing, but omehow being single now has made me very needy and unsure of myself. I am seeing someone casually and I am losing my mind with anxiety about how he feels about me and this need for validation. How can I learn to be content and at peace with myself regardless of my career, relationship status, etc?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-learn-to-be-content-and-at-peace

anxiety

Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw

Possibly you haven't completed your phase of mourning the recently passed relationship and lifestyle which surrounded it.Relationship breakups mean a person's entire life goes through an adjustment since the relationship impacted all areas of your life.Give yourself some patience to restore yourself from the old relationship. When you feel whole again then more than likely you will lose some of the anxiety wondering what your new casual partner feels about you.And instead of wondering,  you may simply decide to ask the person your question!

How can I learn to be content and at peace?

I recently broke up with my boyfriend After being together for over 4 years. I truly believe I did the right thing, but omehow being single now has made me very needy and unsure of myself. I am seeing someone casually and I am losing my mind with anxiety about how he feels about me and this need for validation. How can I learn to be content and at peace with myself regardless of my career, relationship status, etc?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-learn-to-be-content-and-at-peace

anxiety

Mirella Caro-CortesHelping Families & Marriages Repair, Recover & Thrive

https://counselchat.com/therapists/mirella-caro-cortes

Hello.  What you are experiencing is entirely reasonable for someone that is still trying to adjust to a new life and also leave behind a long term relationship.  It sounds like you lost touch with who you were as a person and need to start exploring that side of you again.  Spend time doing things that you have been putting off, or did not do because you were involved.  Take the time to become one with yourself before you get into another serious relationship.  Regaining self-confidence on yourself will help you with all other areas of life.  It is time to make you a priority and to start focusing on your mental and physical well being.  Get connected with your community and find things you would want to do that give you purpose and lift you.  Before too long you will be in your way to being content and in total control of your mind and at peace.  Best of luck. Mirella~

How can I learn to be content and at peace?

I recently broke up with my boyfriend After being together for over 4 years. I truly believe I did the right thing, but omehow being single now has made me very needy and unsure of myself. I am seeing someone casually and I am losing my mind with anxiety about how he feels about me and this need for validation. How can I learn to be content and at peace with myself regardless of my career, relationship status, etc?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-learn-to-be-content-and-at-peace

anxiety

Dr. Meredyth LawrynceServing Clients Nationwide

https://counselchat.com/therapists/dr-meredyth-lawrynce

One way to find peace and contentment is to self-generate the love, acceptance, validation, and belonging you crave from others, inside yourself.   Working thru how you came to a point where the sum total of your worth is based on others’ opinions of you and how your career, relationship status, etc., became a determining factor in how you value your worth.  Society often uses these variables and tools to measure someone’s worth and our worth is not wrapped in those things, especially not those things alone! I would like to share these two videos. Never Leave Yourself5 Signs

How can I learn to be content and at peace?

I recently broke up with my boyfriend After being together for over 4 years. I truly believe I did the right thing, but omehow being single now has made me very needy and unsure of myself. I am seeing someone casually and I am losing my mind with anxiety about how he feels about me and this need for validation. How can I learn to be content and at peace with myself regardless of my career, relationship status, etc?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-learn-to-be-content-and-at-peace

anxiety

Dr Traci KochendorferTime for you to " Claim IT" with over 15 years in health and wellness, Ph.D Psy.D D.D. F.P.L.C. recognized on TV and Magazines,

https://counselchat.com/therapists/dr-traci-kochendorfer

It takes time and must be on YOUR TIME.  I have some free meditations on my site you can check out and other tools.  Breathwork is a big one.  There are meditations you can join as a group or individual online anywhere anytime. When you become a client of mine I offer this and it is wonderful plus other fun stuff🙏✨

How can I learn to be content and at peace?

I recently broke up with my boyfriend After being together for over 4 years. I truly believe I did the right thing, but omehow being single now has made me very needy and unsure of myself. I am seeing someone casually and I am losing my mind with anxiety about how he feels about me and this need for validation. How can I learn to be content and at peace with myself regardless of my career, relationship status, etc?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-learn-to-be-content-and-at-peace

anxiety

Michele RameyMRTherapy, LLC- Because Help Is One Of A Kind

https://counselchat.com/therapists/michele-ramey

You are so self aware! That has to be refreshing just knowing that about yourself! It takes time to reset those new pathways to in your brain. You brain has to sense that the experiences you are having are enough to be okay. What are you looking for? When you can answer that question, it will also be helpful to calm that anxiety. If you are looking for commitment from this person, but you are seeing them casually, do they know and are they looking for commitment as well? What does being content and at peace with yourself mean? Have you dated yourself? There's a page that I point other single people to on instagram #dearfuturehim, check it out. This girl is all about what to do while you are waiting and single, she also talks about being content and the "business of the brain" when you're single. Lastly, I would talk to someone who can help you with the anxiety, especially if it's that strong. It's helpful to be able to get some help with how to be more relaxed. Hope this helps!

How can I learn to be content and at peace?

I recently broke up with my boyfriend After being together for over 4 years. I truly believe I did the right thing, but omehow being single now has made me very needy and unsure of myself. I am seeing someone casually and I am losing my mind with anxiety about how he feels about me and this need for validation. How can I learn to be content and at peace with myself regardless of my career, relationship status, etc?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-learn-to-be-content-and-at-peace

anxiety

Natalie Moore | Holistic Therapy🛋 For creative, ambitious millennials

https://counselchat.com/therapists/natalie-moore-holistic-therapy

It sounds to me like you would benefit from mindfulness practice and self-compassion practice. What is mindfulness?Mindfulness, in short, is the practice of bringing a non-judgmental awareness to the present moment. This meditative tradition stems from Buddhism and was brought to the West by Zen teachers who made them more accessible for Westerners. If you’ve ever taken a yoga class or played a guided meditation wherein you were encouraged to focus on your breath without changing it, feel the sensations on your skin and bring awareness to tension in your body, you’ve practiced mindfulness.What is self-compassion? We often hear about self-esteem as something we need to increase for optimal mental health. The problem with self-esteem is that it ebbs and flows based on external factors – such as if you have a good job or if you have a romantic relationship. A much better place to put your energy into is developing self-compassion, which is being kind to yourself no matter what your circumstances look like. Over time, self-compassion acts as the building blocks for self-love, which no one or nothing can take away from you. Why develop these practices? When you can practice mindfulness and self-compassion in tandem, then you bring more acceptance and understanding to your life circumstances instead of judging yourself for not having the perfect life. I hope this is helpful and I wish you all the best. If you’re interested in this type of approach a holistic therapist can help you learn these tools and put them into daily practice.

How can I learn to be content and at peace?

I recently broke up with my boyfriend After being together for over 4 years. I truly believe I did the right thing, but omehow being single now has made me very needy and unsure of myself. I am seeing someone casually and I am losing my mind with anxiety about how he feels about me and this need for validation. How can I learn to be content and at peace with myself regardless of my career, relationship status, etc?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-learn-to-be-content-and-at-peace

anxiety

Viviana DiazLicensed Professional Counselor

https://counselchat.com/therapists/viviana-diaz

Endings in relationship are difficult, and my heart goes out to you. It is difficult to start again, but not impossible. After a break up we may loss our identify and grieve what could have been, and some other aspects that are brought up to the surface. You recognize that you have become needy and unsure. I wonder, if you have grieved properly. The end of a relationship can trigger our inner insecurities, and I think it would benefit you to go within yourself and explore where are these feelings coming from.  Your anxiety may be trying to tell you something that you needs your attention. This is work that you need to take time with, and I am not sure other entanglements helps you to heal or distract you from going deeper into healing regardless of your status, career. Being content means a state of openness and peace, and acceptance. Wish you healing and hope!

How can I learn to be content and at peace?

I recently broke up with my boyfriend After being together for over 4 years. I truly believe I did the right thing, but omehow being single now has made me very needy and unsure of myself. I am seeing someone casually and I am losing my mind with anxiety about how he feels about me and this need for validation. How can I learn to be content and at peace with myself regardless of my career, relationship status, etc?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-learn-to-be-content-and-at-peace

anxiety

Audrey ONealBi-lingual Psychotherapist and HeartMath Certified Practitioner

https://counselchat.com/therapists/audrey-oneal-3

It appears to me that you feel unmoored as a result of the break and the experience has triggered some self- doubt and anxiety. Your lack of self- belief seems to further propel you to seek validation from the person you are casually involved with.  One of the ways to find peace within yourself could be to engage in life and find fulfillment in healthy experiences.. Theorist  Karen  Horney considered  this approach a form of therapy.  She taught that most  individuals could thrive once their fears and anxieties had been alleviated. I hope that will practice self acceptance daily be using expressive writing to document the areas of your life you are thankful for and that bring you joy.

How can I learn to be content and at peace?

I recently broke up with my boyfriend After being together for over 4 years. I truly believe I did the right thing, but omehow being single now has made me very needy and unsure of myself. I am seeing someone casually and I am losing my mind with anxiety about how he feels about me and this need for validation. How can I learn to be content and at peace with myself regardless of my career, relationship status, etc?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-learn-to-be-content-and-at-peace

anxiety

Ian Palombo#ThoughtMediator & #LifeUntangler

https://counselchat.com/therapists/ian-palombo

Millions of people deal with anxiety disorders on a daily basis. Whether it’s a result of a specific phobia, a traumatic event, or just generalized worry, anxiety disorders take a toll on our mind and health. There is help for anxiety disorder sufferers, and therapy is the first place to start. If you deal with an anxiety disorder you most likely have looked into ways you can help calm your emotional roller coaster. Perhaps you’ve even tried some self-help techniques in the past. While these methods can provide some relief, it’s often temporary.To rid yourself of overwhelming anxiety once and for all, you’ve got to get to the root cause of it – the underlying factors. A therapist can help you identify and eliminate these underlying factors.If you are suffering from an anxiety disorder, here are 3 ways therapy can help:1. Uncover Root Causes of the Anxiety DisorderLike any other health issue, effective treatment gets to the root cause. For instance, your doctor can either prescribe a medication to try and manage your hypertension symptoms, or she can request you clean up your diet and exercise, addressing the root causes of your high blood pressure.A therapist will assist you in accessing your emotional world so you can study your thoughts and feelings and uncover patterns. Often, unhealthy beliefs and thoughts lie at the root of anxiety. Once you identify what is causing you anxiety, your therapist can begin to create a plan to help you face these underlying issues calmly and confidently.2. Therapy Helps You Change Your BehaviorsWe’ve just talked a little about therapy helping you uncover the thoughts and beliefs that are causing the anxiety. Those thoughts and beliefs are not only making you feel bad, they are causing you to have certain behaviors that may result in negative consequences.For instance, your anxiety leads to insomnia or denial of intimate social connections. Therapy will help you make lifestyle and behavioral changes. You’ll learn how to cope with difficult situations in a more relaxed manner. Therapy will help you to stop avoiding certain people and situations and develop a calmer and more balanced sense of self. 3. Therapy Offers Continued Personalized SupportAll change is hard, even change that’s ultimately good for you. One of the biggest benefits of therapy is that it offers continual personalized support. Your therapist wants to see you succeed and will offer encouragement and advice without judgement.If you’ve been living with anxiety, know that you don’t have to deal with it alone. If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, contact a mental health professional.

How can I learn to be content and at peace?

I recently broke up with my boyfriend After being together for over 4 years. I truly believe I did the right thing, but omehow being single now has made me very needy and unsure of myself. I am seeing someone casually and I am losing my mind with anxiety about how he feels about me and this need for validation. How can I learn to be content and at peace with myself regardless of my career, relationship status, etc?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-learn-to-be-content-and-at-peace

anxiety

Michael SamarIntegrative Psychotherapist and Mindfulness Coach

https://counselchat.com/therapists/michael-samar

Moving on from a long term relationship can be difficult.  Sometimes we can lose a sense of who we are because in a way we have become defined by the relationship itself.  So, when we begin to move on and see other people, our sense of identity may be obscured.  The tendency is to seek out validation to give us a feeling of worthiness.   That it's ok to move on and be happy.   This is a relatively normal reaction.  It's important to treat yourself with kindness and compassion through this time in your life.  Mindful self-compassion can be a great way to begin the process of getting that sense of who you are back and what you want in a relationship.  I think its important to look back, learn what you can from the previous relationship, and become a better person for it in the future.  At the same time, taking the necessary time to nuture yourself on a mind, body, and spirit level. Self-compassion allows you to turn inward and except all facets of who you are.  It improves your capacity for love, vulnerability, emotional openness, social interconnectedness, and self-respect.  My philosophy is holistic, collaborative, and accepting.  The cornerstone of my treatment philosophy is mindfulness and other evidenced based integrative modalities.  I work as your ally to help you cultivate abundant self-compassion in your life, so that you can have the types of relationships you want.

How can I learn to be content and at peace?

I recently broke up with my boyfriend After being together for over 4 years. I truly believe I did the right thing, but omehow being single now has made me very needy and unsure of myself. I am seeing someone casually and I am losing my mind with anxiety about how he feels about me and this need for validation. How can I learn to be content and at peace with myself regardless of my career, relationship status, etc?

https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-learn-to-be-content-and-at-peace

anxiety

Dr. John Frampton

https://counselchat.com/therapists/dr-john-frampton

A break up, even one that you initiated, may deserve some time and space to allow it to be complete.There's a few ideas I'll throw out there and you can choose if they stick.  One is to re-invest in the friendships you have by setting up regular coffee get-togethers for example.  Two, get out in nature.  It's hard to ignore how grand and patient nature is, and it sometimes takes the pressure off what we should be and instead allows us to be.  And the last one I'll throw out there is to invest your time and energy in a project or achievement you've wanted to do for a while, but that perhaps you didn't have the time to.  Something related to a hobby such as sports or music, or related to your career.  Something that is 'for' you.  Life knocks us off balance at times, and that's ok.  Self-questioning during these times can be a healthy endeavor.  Should you follow any of the advice on this website, continue to be kind to yourself about what you're feeling, and curious about why you're feeling that way.

I always fear that people are judging me

I know this fear doesn't make sense. How can I overcome it?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-always-fear-that-people-are-judging-me

anxiety

Dr. Meredyth LawrynceServing Clients Nationwide

https://counselchat.com/therapists/dr-meredyth-lawrynce

We often feel people are judging us, because we are judging ourselves.  Investigating how you feel about yourself, your own self confidence can be a Segway into why you feel others are judging you and also why others opinions matter and if you are using that as the scale by which you estimate the total sum of your worth.

I always fear that people are judging me

I know this fear doesn't make sense. How can I overcome it?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-always-fear-that-people-are-judging-me

anxiety

Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPCLicensed Professional Counselor

https://counselchat.com/therapists/kaileen-mcmickle-ms-lpc

Your fear may not seem "rational" but that doesn't mean it doesn't make sense!  There's 100% a reason for why this fear happens for you.  Most everyone has this fear because we are social animals and need to care what others think of us sometimes.  When it becomes a bigger issue is when it keeps you from enjoying your life or interferes with your functioning.Do you think it may have to do with uncertainty of what others may be thinking of you? Or that people will ultimately reject you? Sometimes when we don't know what others think, we assume they judge.  This is especially true if you've experienced direct judgment or bullying in your past, or if a significant parent or caregiver in your life made you feel shame.When I have a client that often fears others are judging them, I have them list out the evidence they see to support that.  What evidence is there to tell you that someone is judging you?  If you take something as evidence, also ask yourself if they behave the same with other people.  When we fear judgment, we often micro-analyze and misinterpret people's body language to mean something it doesn't.  It can also help to make a mental or actual list of other possibilities.  Most people are concerned about what others are thinking of them, so it's possible people you interact with are wondering what you think of them.  It's also possible they are judging you positively--what are some things in this category that people have told you about how they see you?  Sometimes taking feedback from people closest to you whom you trust can be the most accurate representation of how others may see you.  Counseling could be a great option as well because I guarantee these fears will show up in sessions and that's GOOD.  It gives you a chance to process them with someone who will help you understand these fears and may even give you genuine feedback about how they perceive you (at the right time).  It can be very healing!

I always fear that people are judging me

I know this fear doesn't make sense. How can I overcome it?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-always-fear-that-people-are-judging-me

anxiety

Dr. Timothy Paul'man'; Online - "Natural Health Consultant and Coach"

https://counselchat.com/therapists/dr-timothy-paul

No, it makes sense :)Consider today how social media has impacted the mind and heart of man;Is it not so extraordinarily easy to make one appear stellar on social media today?  Heh heh, I've long since joked that the definition of a party is:  "A series of photos to lie with."When I peel back the awareness of others' "judgment", what I find is excitement of wanting to express themselves too...It's funny how America is one of the few lands on the planet where folks are able to mess up and try it again; on most other places, if you mess up, there is such deep shame in it, that it may lead to one taking one's life;

I always fear that people are judging me

I know this fear doesn't make sense. How can I overcome it?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-always-fear-that-people-are-judging-me

anxiety

Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW

https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw

Stop caring about what you imagine people are thinking about you!Really this is the simple and complicated answer to feel better about your situation.Maybe someone is judging you, maybe someone isn't judging you.Until the person tells you directly what they don't like about you, there's nothing you can do.It is okay that the fear doesn't make sense, most fears don't make sense.

I feel really uncomfortable around other people

When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared. I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people. I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-feel-really-uncomfortable-around-other-people

anxiety

Dr. Meredyth LawrynceServing Clients Nationwide

https://counselchat.com/therapists/dr-meredyth-lawrynce

What about large crowds leads you to feel angry? I can understand your not liking or enjoying being around other people.  Animals are often more compassionate.  It sounds like you experience a lot of social anxiety?  Would you feel comfortable starting out with smaller groups of people, maybe people who share your interest, especially around animals?  Maybe practice topics of conversation you feel confident to discuss which could take the pressure off being in a social setting.

I feel really uncomfortable around other people

When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared. I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people. I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-feel-really-uncomfortable-around-other-people

anxiety

Damalie NamaleHealing relationships

https://counselchat.com/therapists/damalie-namale

Reading this question makes me think of  melancholy and  phlegmatic temperaments. People with such a temperaments do not need to be in large crowds in order to feel included. They actually get so angry if they feel forced to be around people. They need small social settings to feel included and if they do not know this, they feel angry, scared and nervous because it is not their territory. They do not thrive well in big crowds and so they struggle. They also feel more comfortable in small social settings with people that are familiar to them. It's helpful if you can get a copy of your temperament results to help you identify your socializing needs so that you can meet them in a healthy way.The other tendencies melancholies have is that they are constantly thinking and have a fear of being rejected. These are stressful moments that needs to be managed. You can use cognitive behavioral therapy to ration your way of thinking.You may need to develop social and relationship skills so that you do not get overly stressed by relationships.The last thing is that allow yourself to choose the places and the time you can be around people so that you do not feel forced to be around people.

I feel really uncomfortable around other people

When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared. I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people. I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-feel-really-uncomfortable-around-other-people

anxiety

Reggie Smith, LPC, CTP, CCATPTexas Couples, Anxiety, Trauma therapist

https://counselchat.com/therapists/reggie-smith-lpc-ctp-ccatp

One of the things to ponder on is a) how long has this been going on? b) what event/situation occurred during that time? c) what was the story you told yourself about the event?  As an anxiety specialist and sufferer, often anxiety comes from some painful past learning/experience.  Something that may have caused shame, guilt, embarrassment, etc.  Traumatic events (or at least situations that were traumatizing to you) may be of issue.  Anxiety is often caused by either thinking/living in the past or future, as well as comparison to others.  Keeping a thought record, having someone help you identify the core issue and unpack that and re-assign a new meaning to the event, situation and frankly yourself will be invaluable.  Always remember -- Doing the same thing gives you the same results, doing something different, can possibly give you different results.  Keep grindin' (in seeking to learn) and you will rise!

I feel really uncomfortable around other people

When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared. I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people. I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-feel-really-uncomfortable-around-other-people

anxiety

Fred RogersQue Sera Sera Counseling

https://counselchat.com/therapists/fred-rogers

Social anxiety is a type of anxiety disorders and you need to consult a mental health professional.

I feel really uncomfortable around other people

When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared. I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people. I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-feel-really-uncomfortable-around-other-people

anxiety

Tara Green, LCSWFeel alive again; solution focused and goal oriented therapy

https://counselchat.com/therapists/tara-green-lcsw

It sounds like you may be suffering from social anxiety. People who are socially anxious often feel nervous and scared when they are surrounded by people especially in a social setting. Some people find that although they want to be social and have people to talk to they are scared of being judged, feeling awkward, feeling like they don't fit in etc. If you want to try and get in touch with others start small. Some of examples can be- volunteering at at an animal shelter since you prefer animals, making a phone call to someone you know and feel comfortable with to reach out to,  talk to people via text and/or face-time. Take the time to talk to a therapist about your feelings this can help you sort out your anxiety and be able to overcome it!

I feel really uncomfortable around other people

When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared. I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people. I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-feel-really-uncomfortable-around-other-people

anxiety

Michele RameyMRTherapy, LLC- Because Help Is One Of A Kind

https://counselchat.com/therapists/michele-ramey

That's a great question. The easy answer is to do some Brain/bodyspotting to explore those feelings and where they manifest or live in your body. I'm curious too how long you've felt this way or if anything triggered it? I would explore this further to find relief.

I feel really uncomfortable around other people

When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared. I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people. I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-feel-really-uncomfortable-around-other-people

anxiety

Philippe BowerHealing with Philippe

https://counselchat.com/therapists/philippe-bower

First, there is nothing wrong with you. These feelings you are sharing are perfectly normal responses to anxiety-inducing moments in life. As a Clinical Anxiety treatment professional, I would recommend learning some basic coping skills such as deep breathing and grounding techniques. These coping skills can often give you a moment to focus within and use more advanced skills. Racing thoughts and rumination (thinking about the past) can be exhausting, especially when affecting our sleep. Some of my clients have found it useful in their treatment to have a journal next to their bed. Within this journal, they would write down some of the thoughts going through their mind. Other things clients have practiced is sleep hygiene, mindfulness practices, and exercise.

I feel really uncomfortable around other people

When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared. I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people. I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-feel-really-uncomfortable-around-other-people

anxiety

Natalie Moore | Holistic Therapy🛋 For creative, ambitious millennials

https://counselchat.com/therapists/natalie-moore-holistic-therapy

First off, I commend your vulnerability in opening up here online about what is going on with you and I’m glad to see you’re wanting to seek answers and help for understanding your situation better. There are many mental health issues that involve an individual experiencing social difficulties, such as the ones you mentioned here. As the therapists here, including myself, have such limited information as to what you’re going through, it would be unwise for any of us to suggest a diagnosis for you. The best option for you would be to see a professional therapist or psychologist who could get the appropriate background information and make an accurate diagnosis. Once you have a diagnosis, then your therapist can make suggestions as to the best treatment plan moving forward, which may include a psychiatric evaluation for medications, ongoing individual therapy and potentially even group therapy. I wish you the best of luck in finding the right professional for you.

I feel really uncomfortable around other people

When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared. I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people. I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-feel-really-uncomfortable-around-other-people

anxiety

Laura Zane-NwagbaraochaEmpath, Authentic, Therapist, Wife, Mom

https://counselchat.com/therapists/laura-zane-nwagbaraocha

Hi There...do you find it is just in crowds or do you find it when you are around other people as well? Like if someone is angry you can feel their anger? if they are sad, you feel their sadness?   Are the thoughts and conversations sometimes mean and then you feel guilty, and then feel bad about yourself? Sometimes this happens when people have anxiety, but it can also happen when you are a highly sensitive person. (Check out Elaine Aron's website HSPersons.com). Essentially, HSPs have more mirror neurons (the ones that reflect back to you other people's emotions) in their brain so the pick up other people's energy and then things like crowds can feel overstimulating for them. We then imaging ourselves in other's shoes, and it can create a guilt loop. A good therapist should be able to help you identify what is happening for you.

I feel really uncomfortable around other people

When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared. I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people. I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-feel-really-uncomfortable-around-other-people

anxiety

Elizabeth BrokampRelief is in reach.

https://counselchat.com/therapists/elizabeth-brokamp

First, let me say that I am so sorry for all of the discomfort you have experienced.  It sounds like, although you said you don't like people, I am guessing it starts with not feeling very likable yourself.  The "conversations" you describe having are not really conversations at all -- they are more like an audiotape of self-criticism that plays and re-plays in your head.  Then you attribute these criticisms to other people, as if you can read their minds and know that this is automatically what they think of you.  This is exhausting: no wonder you don't want to hang around other people!  It's impossible to know from a quick paragraph why you are experiencing this kind of anxiety and whether the origins are biochemical (genetic), behavioral, due to unresolved trauma, or something else.  But I think it's worth it to explore this with a professional, who -- once they help you identify more specifics -- can suggest a path for significantly improving the quality of your thoughts about yourself, help you develop self-compassion, and work with you on changing these automatic negative thoughts that pop up and get in the way of all of your relationships.  Best of luck to you on the path to healing.

I feel really uncomfortable around other people

When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared. I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people. I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-feel-really-uncomfortable-around-other-people

anxiety

JOSH MARLAR

https://counselchat.com/therapists/josh-marlar

You are not alone.  Lots of people are uncomfortable around other people and especially in large crowds.  In therapy, I would want to know more about your feelings with people you ARE close to such as family, friends, or coworkers, how long you've had these feelings, and if there are times when other people are fine.  Sometimes this type of feeling can be traced to specific experiences and that's where I would start.  Counseling could help you find the root of these feelings and help find ways to cope when you find yourself in a situation where you're around people.

I feel really uncomfortable around other people

When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared. I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people. I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-feel-really-uncomfortable-around-other-people

anxiety

Kellie Spear, LCMHC, LMFTCompassionate online support & encouragement

https://counselchat.com/therapists/kellie-spear-lcmhc-lmft

It can be hard to figure out why certain situations lead you to feel angry, or fearful. We all have certain rules/beliefs about living life that were created over time. When our minds seem to never shut off it can be helpful to spend some time in the present moment you are in. I am guessing that when you're having conversations in your head that you are either re-living past feelings about something that happened, or you are thinking about things that are to come possibly with dread or fear. Overall, we are not always good about staying present in the moment, with all the distractions and demands in life it is easy to spend your sleeping hours planning for the next day or thinking about an interaction you had that didn't go the way you hoped it would. Practicing mindfulness along with learning how to connect your thoughts to actions would be a great starting point. To do this spend some time making connections between what you think and what you feel. When you are in a public situation and you begin to feel uncomfortable or you notice that you are getting angry, stop for a moment and ask yourself, 'what was I just thinking about?". Perhaps a "should" rule of your own was broken by another person, leaving you feeling hurt or disregarded. We are often unable to control the people or things that trigger our anger, but we can control how we react to situations that make us angry. When this is hard to do, separate yourself from the situation if you can, then take time to breathe, slow down your thoughts and visualize yourself in a place that calms you. As you take in the moment give yourself permission to linger in this place long enough to change the thoughts that led to the anger. If you continue to have difficulty shutting off your mind at the end of the day, try one of the many helpful apps that offer mindfulness routines, sleep stories, and other sleep-inducing activities.

I feel really uncomfortable around other people

When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared. I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people. I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-feel-really-uncomfortable-around-other-people

anxiety

Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPCLicensed Professional Counselor

https://counselchat.com/therapists/kaileen-mcmickle-ms-lpc

First of all, having these thoughts and feelings does not mean there is something wrong with you.  It's very normal to worry about social relationships and how others see us because we need other people in our lives to survive and thrive.It sounds like you may have some social anxiety, which is very workable and treatable.  Rumination is a common way the brain attempts to deal with the worry that stems from social anxiety, though not effectively.  One way we ruminate is to try to excessively plan out what we will say and how we will act in social situations that may never even occur, which ultimately ends in a lot of unneeded psychological pain and stress.One way to cope with those thoughts is to write about the worries you have.  When we write, it forces us to slow down the thought process, which can allow for more clarity and other information to come through about our experiences.  Another benefit for this is to externalize the thoughts and feelings you are having; this can really help to organize your thoughts and feelings as well as put them outside of the mind.Seeing a counselor may be helpful as well.  They can help sort through your anxieties and the underlying reasons why they may exist.  They can also help with individualized coping strategies and tasks that will fit for your personal needs.

I feel really uncomfortable around other people

When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared. I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people. I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-feel-really-uncomfortable-around-other-people

anxiety

Candice Conroy, LMHCFind relief from anxiety, depression, and trauma.

https://counselchat.com/therapists/candice-conroy-lmhc

It's common with social anxiety to replay or "pre-play" conversations in your mind - often focusing on how you believe it did or could go wrong. CBT can be helpful in pinpointing what's keeping this cycle of anxiety and avoidance going for you if it's something you wish to change. It's also important to note that adults who struggle with feeling nervous or scared in social situations often have similar experiences in childhood - namely being criticized by parents, siblings, or peers for how they speak, interact, appear, or express themselves. This often creates a pattern of becoming very self-conscious in an effort to avoid shame and embarrassment in social interactions. Working with a therapist to process through these thinking patterns and the behaviors that come from them can help to start decreasing anxiety and anger around social interactions and more importantly decreasing feelings of shame and anxiety about the way you express yourself.

I feel really uncomfortable around other people

When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared. I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people. I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-feel-really-uncomfortable-around-other-people

anxiety

Christina Aegerter, PsyDAdulting is hard, don't struggle alone

https://counselchat.com/therapists/christina-aegerter-psyd

What you are experiencing is totally normal and these emotions mean you are human! Humans are social creatures who were created to be in connection with others, but sometimes our life experiences or genetics can make that more difficult for some of us. It is possible that these reactions are based on negative reactions you have had with others in the past, maybe your family, or other traumatic interactions with others. It is also possible that they are caused by an underlying condition such as anxiety or depression, which may cause you to be more uncomfortable around others or annoyed by others. Some people are also more bothered by crowded spaces, loud interactions, and the actions of others. Of course you prefer animals (me too!), they provide unconditional love and support, do not judge you, and do not require you to have conversations with them. The fact that you have conversations in your head at night tells me that although you say you do not like people, you are craving some social connection. What is probably the case is that you were never really taught how to interact and have those conversations. The good news is that there is nothing wrong with you, you just need a little help learning how to have these conversations and taking some healthy risks to initiate conversations and that is something that I help many of my clients with in therapy.

I feel really uncomfortable around other people

When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared. I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people. I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-feel-really-uncomfortable-around-other-people

anxiety

Reanna WaughWaugh's Holistic Wellness Center

https://counselchat.com/therapists/reanna-waugh

I am very sorry to hear that you are going through this! While animals can be a wonderful way to experience emotional support, you may want to consider opening up to a Life Coach or therapist to discuss some of your concerns. You are not alone, and many people are experiencing very similar anxieties. A Life Coach or professional therapist could help to guide you through these emotions and refer you to additional professional help if needed. It sounds as though you want to address some of these issues by first asking the question. Finding additional support from a trained professional whom you feel comfortable with could be the best way to get the help that you need. I wish you the best of luck on your journey!

I feel really uncomfortable around other people

When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared. I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people. I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-feel-really-uncomfortable-around-other-people

anxiety

Susan HaberkornOnline Christian Counseling for Women

https://counselchat.com/therapists/susan-haberkorn

You are a unique individual exhibiting some of the traits of a specific type of temperament. Through temperament counseling you can come to know, accept, and manage your God-given temperament to become all that God intended. There is nothing wrong with you -- God loves you as you are and wants to help you balance your temperament needs.

I feel really uncomfortable around other people

When I'm in large crowds I get angry and I just can't deal with people. I don't really like other people (I prefer animals) they make me nervous and scared. I lay awake at night thinking and having conversations in my head and i almost always end up making myself feel terrible and crying, I have more conversions in my head than I do with actual people. I don't know what's wrong with me and why I feel this way. What should I do?

https://counselchat.com/questions/i-feel-really-uncomfortable-around-other-people

anxiety

Jennifer MolinariHypnotherapist & Licensed Counselor

https://counselchat.com/therapists/jennifer-molinari