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no2

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Have a closer look at 'I am.’ It is not 'I was'... nor is it 'I will be'. It is expressing that presence. It is pure presence. ‘I am'. Presence! Not the past; not the future. The actuality is always now. You do not have to use the term 'l am’.You see, that primary thought 'I am' is too subtle for the mind to grasp, so it adds to it 'I am this. 'I am that'. 'I am the fear' 'I am the anger', 'I am the anxiety, depression or whatever. Just see that thought as the expression of that presence. Then what must you be? You must be that presence. That is all that there is. It is omnipresence.These words are presence. That is how they are appearing. They are appearing presently. As you hear these words, they are appearing presently. This chair that I am sifting in is presence. You are presence. Everything is presence. It is all That. We take the appearance as real, rather than seeing its essence, which is presence.

I would like to stay with the subtlety of this 'I am'. Can you say more about this?

Yes, that is right. If it is omnipotence, omniscience and omnipresence, when and who has ever been separate from it? When, who and how could there be any separation from it? If that idea of separation is seen for what it is, an erroneous belief, a phantom, what process could there be?We have hypnotized ourselves into believing that we are this separate 'I’, this separate entity, this individual. That is not going to die down overnight or immediately. The seeing of it is immediate, but the old habit patterns will come up again and again, because patterns are repetition.Repeating thought patterns of who and what we think we are. The continuity of thought becomes feeling and emotion. It all has gone on so frequently and for so long, and that is why it will not just disappear overnight.

There is no process of awakening to this understanding. Is that right?

I know that I was wrong in believing that I was a sentient human being. And from that I have the freedom from all those erroneous beliefs. I am not the only one. I have read various books, and from that can see that all through the ages there have always been so called people with this understanding. They have carried this message through those tens of thousands of years, right back to the so called mythical primal guru from the beginning of time.

These sentient beings called humans have been around for tens of thousands of years. Are you saying that they are all wrong?

'I am the way; I am the truth; I am the light' not meaning himself. It means come back to that 'l am'.

You often quote Christ where he said 'I am the light of the world'.

Yes, that is my interpretation.

That is your interpretation.

That is just the terms we use in conversation. I am not afraid to use the words. I use the words just the same as they have always been used. Just the same as I will use the words, 'What a beautiful blue sky' knowing full well that the sky is not blue. It only appears to be blue.I know full well that there is no center here, no 'me'. It is quite simple. The false cannot stand up to investigation. The mind will make up all sorts of tricks. It will invent a subconscious, a super conscious and all sorts of different degrees and levels of the mind. And it will seek the answer there. As I say, there have been people all through those thousands of years who have said,'Come back to where it all begins, that beingness'.

Who is that 'me' or 'my'?

Exactly!

So, in that recognition of inattention, when you recognize that you are not just attentive to awareness, there is no guilt, there is freedom, in that recognition. You are.

Exactly. And with that you would find that the thought processes are lessening.

Although I no longer believe in a process, it still seems that the more time I spend being aware of awareness, something continually feels like it is opening, It is almost like the perception gets wider, subtler.

In that absence of thinking, what must you be with? Pure awareness or pure consciousness. Then, as the range expands, everything is taken in. Less and less is excluded and the perception is wider and wider, the greater the perception of what is, is. What is, is pure intelligence energy registering everything just as it is.There is no thinking process in that. The thinking process will alter, modify or correct what is registering. To do that, it must refer to a past event, past image or past experience, which is the ‘me’, the self-center.Now, if it is not relative to that, if it is just what is, then what can you say about it and what is wrong with it? Isn’t it functioning and expressing beautifully as is? Everything appears on that pure presence awareness. That is just a pure registering and there is no experience in that whatsoever.

There is an absence of thinking a lot of the time.

How can I prefer the silence over the chatter? What difference do either make when that are appearances only? Nothing has touched that awareness that I am. Nothing can contaminate it and nothing can come near it. It is bodiless, mind less, birth less, death less.

So a preference for silence through meditation is missing the point?

Pure awareness, pure registering of what is. You’re hearing right now; seeing right now. Everything is registering just as it is. That does not mean to say that it is a homogenous blob. Everything is distinguished and registered but it is not named. It is not given a name. It is just as is.

How would you describe awareness without using the words ‘I am’ or ‘a sense of presence’?

The seeming search comes from the idea of separation. As soon as that 'I' thought comes up, that 'I' implies separation. Separation is insecurity, vulnerability. There is immediate insecurity with that '1' thought. That separation is only a seeming separation. It is only how it appears.Anything in this manifestation can be broken down into pure energy. If this globe called the Earth were to be blown into little pieces, would any of the energy be lost? The Earth is gone, but would anything be lost? It would all be out there in space. Nothing would be lost.

What is it that makes us begin to search for truth?

Exactly. And even those seeming individuals are in the pairs of opposites male and female. And that attraction brings them together to carry on this diverse appearance. But what has happened really? Nothing! So if you know that nothing has happened, are you going to leave the play?It is just like if you're in a stage production playing the villain. When you know that you are playing a role, as soon as the play is over you take off the make-up, your mask or disguise and go home and have a good sleep.So, when you see that all that is going on is a play of consciousness, then you still take part in the role as a seeming individual, knowing the truth about it, that there is no such thing as an individual. The very idea of an individual implies something as being separate from something else.This is confronting to many, based on belief. Any belief or non-belief becomes a reference point. And everything is judged from that point of view. Then that becomes another self-center or reference point, just the same as the 'I' or the 'me'.So, here in this body mind, there are no set beliefs and there are no set opinions. I can have opinions but they are not set in concrete. Just the same as I can say 'I' or 'me' and that is not set either.

So the individual is just a bundle of memories that is seemingly separate. However, there appears to be immense diversity in the guise of individuals.

The way, for those people that come along, is to immediately see themselves as equal. I can speak this for the rest of my life and there will still be millions that won't see the truth in it. They must test it for themselves.

What about the room full of seekers and the guru? Even in this understanding there still is something going on, in that there is the guru and a bunch of seekers. Isn't there some way of transcending that?

Yes, but the difference with you is that you kept coming back! It was the same in my case. It went on for years and years until I arrived in the presence of Nisargadatta. By this time, I had to look. By this time, with all the seeking in the mind and all the kundalini and spiritual experiences....As I say, you can have many, many spiritual experiences, but there is only one spiritual awakening. Those experiences are like the carrot before the donkey. They were leading me on more and more. That can be a trap too, because you can just want the experiences.But seemingly, somewhere along the line, the mind seemed to get fed up with it all and it packed up. Then the truth was there ready and waiting, as it always had been, to rush into that little gap and take over.

So many seem to miss this suggestion to look for themselves, to ask the questions of themselves and let the intelligence energy come up within themselves. It took five months for me to actually hear your suggestion and actually try it.

What is there or who is there to be enlightened? It is only this 'me' that believes itself to be unenlightened or not whole or not complete. If you look at that, you will see that this 'me' is only an image. It is an idea. Of itself it cannot see. It cannot be aware. It has no power whatsoever. So, how can that thought, which has no power, ever become whole or complete?By its very nature, the nature of thinking is to divide. All the thinking process is, is division into the pairs of opposites. If its very nature is to divide, then how can it become whole? You must be able to see that the only time that it can become whole is when there is no thought. Then the wholeness is there, which was always there.

This misconception of enlightenment where there is as if some place to attain, some place to be....

Yes, which is wrong again, because it is just a matter of seeing thought and understanding the way that it functions. Then it has lost its hold. You see the 'me' can't change anything. The 'me' is the mind and the mind cannot change the mind.

When we hear this message, quite often we set out on a quest to have no thought.

You are not driven to change anything. But if that activity comes up where I am participating in change, then that is what is happening. That is what has been happening for the last twenty years, sitting here seemingly participating in changing seeming individuals and as a seeming person sitting here doing it. Nothing is really happening.

There are many seekers who are offended by this concept of non-doership. You are not driven to change anything.

It is all based again on that seeming self-center, 'me, and the 'other. You see, as soon as there is a 'me' which is a reference point, then there must be the 'other'. If there is anger then there is only a 'me' that can be angry. If there is fear, then it can only be a 'me' that can be fearful. If there is a seeming depression, then it can only be a 'me' that can be depressed. That 'me' is based on the past.If I see clearly that the 'me' is only an idea, an idea or image, it is not the center, it is not solid, there is nothing solid there, there is no center there, then when these things come up, they are seen in a new light. So, it is a fresh and new experience that is happening right now. Being identified as a 'me' then as they arise they are named as 'fear' or 'depression' from the past. They are immediately named. But if it is seen and not named then what happens to it?

The world is on a self-improvement quest now, What about that?

Even if doubt arises about this, if that is seen clearly as another idea, another thought, then no problem. Who is doubting? The mind comes up stronger, fighting to keep its seeming hold on you. But if it is looked at in every shape and every form and in every direction, if the falseness of it is constantly seen, then there is no way that it can ever take hold.The mind is functioning here now with these words coming out. It has to. The thought is expressed as word. Immediately it comes out, then it is finished. There is no carrying on, like 'Did I say the right thing?'; 'Does that sound correct?' You see, there is no reference point that it is constantly referred to.

It begins to fade.

Consciousness is speaking to consciousness. How else could it be? Can you conceive of or perceive of anything outside of consciousness? No. So, all this manifestation must be the content of consciousness. Now, can the content of consciousness be different than consciousness? It is consciousness speaking to consciousness, awareness speaking to awareness intelligence energy.

Who are we to each other?

It does not help them at all. It is the same in my own case. Years ago I thought the same. Now I see how beautifully it all fitted in. The pain, the fear, the anger and violence, the resentment, the self-pity, the greed, the envy all these things had their place or I wouldn't be sitting here today. These things that I carried around with me for years, I am glad they happened, but there is no one to be glad either. You see what I am trying to get at? They happened the way they happened.

A lot of people give themselves a hard time thinking that they could or should have done it better and that life has not given them the tools to get through the situations they are in. How does this help them?

What is a thought? Thought is only a movement of energy. It is only energy expressing as a thought, then another thought. The same applies to a belief. All thoughts come and go. They appear and then disappear. You are prior to thought. All of the appearance is transient. In the immediacy of this moment, everything is registered as it is. It is seen. There is only one reality, Thou art That. The world is real, but not as it appears.

What about thought. How would you explain thought?

Yes. Life is! The same as what is. It is not what I think it should be. Life is. If you look at it closely, life lives on life. There is no death; life cannot know death.

A lot of us seem to suffer from what we think life should be like.

The pattern of energy breaks down, but life is there in the breaking down process. Another pattern will appear.

You would agree that when the body dies the body ceases to function. But that is not death because the energy cannot go anywhere.

By what light do you see the no thing? What is light? Light is knowing. Light is energy. You are the light! It shines of itself, just like the sun. The sun cannot know darkness. The further out it shines, the further darkness recedes. It cannot know light either, because there is nothing to compare it with. It shines of itself.And so that knowing ness and beingness shines of itself also. That energy comes up and shines and focuses through the eyes. All the energy in the actuality of the moment is with what is. If the energy is going into the resistance then there is conflict; there is friction. The energy is seemingly fighting with itself. Trying to fix something is resistance and the friction from that dissipates the energy. That also is just what is.

When I look into myself I see nothing.

Following the book, if they have a look at themselves, they will see that they are not what they believed themselves to be in the first place. That will bring them to the understanding or the knowing that they are not that separate entity that is the cause of all their problems. If the cause is seen to be false, then what effect can there be? So, the so called psychological suffering that humans go through will drop away. It is not necessary.

no2, what can the reader find in this book?

Memories are still there and can be brought into the moment. Memory is a good thing when it is utilized. All the beliefs of the separate entity fall away, and you realize that things have happened the way they have happened, not because of any personal doership.With regard to the expectations of the future, there is no concern about that. Why be concerned with something that hasn't happened, when you can be with the actuality? The livingness is right now. All the vitality is in that. Why waste time with something that hasn't happened when you can be with what is totally?When the conditioning comes upon us, we seemingly lose sight of our true nature. But when it is pointed to, it is seen again, and it is no longer ignored. You know that you really have never left it. The true nature is no thing but it is the unlimited potential in which all things appear and disappear.

In this understanding when it opens up, what happens to all the memories and expectations of the future?

the first one that sort of opened me up was the Avadhuta Gita, when I was in the Ashram. I knew there was something in that but couldn't quite grasp it. I used to love going back to it and reading it. Then after Nisargadatta, it was very clear. From then on, the things that I read only confirmed it. They might be saying the same thing in different words and in a different way. All they did was confirm what I already knew.

no2, you have found various writings from different traditions that resonate with this understanding, can you say anything about those writings?

A lot of the Dzogchen scriptures and other ancient scriptures, including Seng Ts’an from the Zen tradition. Some of these scriptures are put so beautifully. They point to this constantly. They are just flowing from the source, you can see it.Another scripture says, 'Be thought free'. A lot of people are mistaken about this as well. They think they have to throw 'this thought' out and the next one out, not thinking, let the thought be free, let it do what it likes. Just like the clouds are not attached to the sky, they move on.

What were some of the other writings you found?

you can't be anything else! But we don't realize it. You see, it is omnipresence. So it can't be anything else than That. Look at those memories from childhood. How do you know those moments? Did you have the same body as you do now? Did you have the same image that you have about yourself now? No.You know it because it is that innate intelligence and that hasn't changed. That is the definition of reality: that which never changes. The body has changed, the image of yourself has changed and the reference point or self center has changed, but that hasn't changed.The whole manifestation is constantly changing. Everything is That, appearing as different. That is difficult for the mind to get a hold on. The mind is time and space. But That has no time. It is beginning-less and endless. It has no space. It has no dimension.So the mind can never grasp it. The so called 'a moment ago' has not left this omnipresence, though it appears to have left. We give that appearance some distance. I can say 'a moment ago' or a ‘year ago', but what are you doing? You only have to have a concept of 'a moment ago' and then have a concept of ‘a year ago’. Then try to have a concept of 'a thousand years ago’. What is the difference?You are the movement. Without a reference point, where can you say it starts from? Everything you see is objective. Everything you think is an object. You're aware of thinking, so it is an object. But we don't include this body mind as an object. We think we are that which is seeing objects. We think we are the subject. But when I see you, I am seeing an object. So you are just an object also.When you realize that of yourself 'I am only an object also' then there is just seeing. This is because we can't separate the seeing. When you look out anywhere you see no thing. Yet it is seen. What can you call it, that which is seen, if you don't label it? You can't call it anything, so it is no thing. So what you are actually seeing is no thing.Look at it this way: try and show me space. You can't, but you are seeing it! We are not registering it as a thing. There is no time that you are not seeing it.Know that you are never distracted. You are never away from That. You can't seemingly forget it, because when you are seemingly forgetting it, that is it also.

When I see that the mind is never satisfied and relentlessly tries to capture the knowledge of the present and wants to store it away and go on to search for something else, imagining that it now has it, I see that it is completely useless. All I need to be is this immediacy.

The bottom line is: right here, right now, you are present and you are aware of being present. Realize that you are that One without a second, pure presence awareness and be what you are. Open to This

no2, what is the bottom line?

Where does the focus go, when you think it is obscured?

Awareness gets obscured. Why?

But where is the thought appearing?

Into thought.

So, it really isn't obscured, is it? There is still hearing going on; there is still seeing. There is still cognizing going on. Everything is still being cognized. In the immediacy of that, we are not taking notice of what is being cognized.See your innate awareness right now. Just take a look over there . You are seeing what you call the mirror over there. In the immediacy of right now it is being cognized, isn't it, before it is re-cognized. To re-cognize it, you have to use a label, 'That is the mirror'.

On that awareness.

At that moment you go into the 'past' memory. You will notice that the cognizing is happening in all time, right now. You are hearing right now. You are hearing this voice, those cars passing by. When you say to yourself, 'Oh, that is a car passing by’, if you look at that closely, you will see that that is being cognized also in the immediacy.The thoughts that come up, 'I have lost it' or 'I am away from it' those thoughts are also being cognized. In other words, that cognizing factor hasn't changed at all. Then it is re-cognized from memory. You see, we know what everything is. To re-cognize it, we put the label on it. Do you understand that?

Oh! I see.

that is the awareness that you are. Look at that awareness. For example, look at the mirror over there. Now, that mirror is appearing in awareness. Did awareness go over there for it to appear in? did it?

Yes.

Right, so awareness is like the screen on which everything is appearing. Look up there there is awareness. Look down there there is awareness. Wherever you look, whatever you are seeing, it is always the content of that awareness. That is why they use the concept 'space like awareness'. Everything is the content of space, isn't it?There is nothing that you can postulate or think of that is outside of space. So in essence it is all really space.The same with this awareness. Even with space, there is an awareness of space. Think of the vastness of space. Awareness seems localized in this pattern of energy called a body until it is investigated.When you investigate it, can you find a center or a reference point that has any substance or any independent nature? When you look at your reference points, you see that they are all mental stuff. They are all mental images. The reference points are appearances on awareness, just the same as everything else is appearance. Appearances are taken to be real or concrete, something solid or substantial.

No.

Yes, but break it down. What is it made up of?

But this is more than just thought. It is a sensory thing as well. This is just as real to me as the awareness.

Prior to that it is made up from the elements, isn't it? The air around you is an element. The space around you is another element. The fire, the water are elements. That is what the body is made up of. But they can be broken down also.Take water, for instance. You have water vapor, steam or cloud. At that level, cloud disperses into nothing, doesn't it? The next level has more density as it turns into water. The next level it changes to ice. Now, as ice you can carve it into a form of a human being or whatever. Now it has the shape and form of something that is seemingly solid and substantial. Put some heat on it and it is back to water again. Put a bit more heat on it, and it has gone into mist again. You can call it ice and believe it is ice but you know that if heat is applied to it, it disappears. It really is insubstantial.

Molecules.

Isn't there a border around the ice? The ice cube has the shape and form of an ice cube.

How is the body like ice? There is a border around the body.

Yes, back into the elements. If you know and understand it, it is there as an appearance. The functioning seems to happen from there . But you know that it has no substance or independent nature of itself. How would the ice be without the water in it?

When the body dies it goes back into the elements?

That is where the trap is, because there is no person to think or be contained in it.

It couldn't be there. When I say the person in this body thinks, it is a reference point.

Yes.

I have only got my perception. I can only see from where I am.

Each pattern of energy is a unique pattern. It will manifest in all possibilities, in patterns we have not even thought of. But it still hasn't changed its true nature. That is why they say that there is no difference between a Buddha and an ordinary being. Both are made up of the elements. It is the same consciousness or awareness that is functioning through both of them and everything.

Others may see something quite different.

So that is a little realization, and it is yours now. You know it.

Something you said last week about being aware of thinking of the future has made a huge difference for me. It is so freeing. I see it in the right now, this thinking of a future.

Yes. When you see that you are trying to stop it with the mind, you see that that is just another thought, a conflict. When that conflict is going on, you are not at ease at all. So any thought that comes up, it doesn't last. If you fixate on it, it will hang around for a while, but it goes sooner or later. Even if it goes on for a week or two, it still goes.

Yes, I was trying to stop my mind from thinking of the past or future and that wasn't the way, Then I just became aware while the thinking of the future was happening. And it just dissipates. So just being aware of it is freeing.

Now, you are conscious of the form there . And when you look out there , are you conscious of the forms out there, too?

I know the answer is not in the mind, so am I conscious of the fact that I can't look there for the reason why. Why I am still conscious of the form? Are the efforts of the form just part of the greater form of everything that I am in?

So you are conscious of that thing you call 'you'. Is that an image also?

Yes, I am conscious of the images out there. But I know that they don't exist.

Does that exist?

That too is an image.

If you are not interpreting them, what are they?

No, that image doesn't exist. But what I am conscious of is the density of that image. I can feel the beat of my heart, and I can feel my breath. And even though they are labels which I have attributed to what I consider as vibrations, it is like being aware of energy or vibrations coming through and they have different frequencies. So I interpret those frequencies to mean what they are.

They are just energy. Everything is that same energy. So what is the problem?

Just energy.

Now wait a minute. Go back to the first thing you said. You are conscious of all these forms. You are conscious of the images as just images. What is the basis of what has gone on?

It is like, how do you live with it without having to constantly come back?

That consciousness or awareness . You are still taking the position of one of the things which are appearing in the consciousness. If you took the position of the consciousness itself, not as any of those images, can there be any labels? It is just patterns appearing on consciousness.Consciousness or awareness hasn't changed. It hasn't moved or done anything. The patterns have come and gone. One finishes and another one starts. Now as you say, is there any density in that consciousness?

It is awareness.

Where are you measuring or judging the 'with-out' and the 'with-in' from?

When I look out, there is no density. But what I feel within

And what is that?

From the reference point 'me'.

So what is it?

It is another idea.

Has the idea got the vibration energy, or is the vibration energy causing the form, shape or pattern of an idea?

It is an idea that has a vibration energy.

If you weren't conscious and aware, there couldn't be an awareness of either of them, or a name.

The latter.

So, take that which you are taking to be real to be only appearance also. Now where does the consciousness start? Can you put a reference point in that consciousness?

No.

They say that it is one without a second. All there is, is consciousness or awareness. So, if you can't put a reference point in it, and it 'just is'. That is you! Now is there an inside to it? No inner and no outer. Can you grasp it with an idea or an image?

No you can't, because it just is.

Just see that it is no thing to the mind. It can't latch onto it or put a label on it. But can you negate that: that-ness, that consciousness?Can you drop all ideas, all thoughts, all feelings, the whole lot, in the moment? Just do it. Do you fall apart if you do that? What is left, what remains? To use words, we call it awareness presence. Now is there any center to it? Some place which you can say it is 'here'?

No. I guess that is what I have been trying to do. Then I go back mentally and say that there is nothing to grasp.

So 'here' is everywhere. Relax in that. Are thoughts still coming up?

No.

Still hearing the cars, seeing the shapes and forms?

Yes.

And what are they? All appearances. All appearing on that which is no thing. You can't name it but we call it 'no thing'.It is the unlimited potential which everything appears in and on. So, look around and see that everything is cognized. You see the empty space and you see shapes and forms. There is no going backwards and forwards. But where you believe there is density and heartbeats, all the shapes and forms and appearances and possibilities, in this seeming going back and forth or higher or lower, have you ever moved out of consciousness?

Yes.

Can you?

No.

If we are talking about one without a second, then you must realize that that is what you must be. Who I really am! Because it hasn't changed. It hasn't got any shape or form. The sword can't cut it. The water can't drown it. And the wind can't dry it. The fire can't burn it. It is not happy or sad.

No.

You are existence itself. There is no center or reference point there. Pure existence. Consciousness is existence itself, on which everything appears and disappears. You can't negate that.

The mind comes in and says I don't really exist. But I think the problem is that I don't truly believe it.

No. All the investigation is, is to have a look and see if there is a 'me' or 'you' there. It is not a matter of denying it. It is seeing it for what it is. It is only a mental image or picture based on past events and experiences. 'I am so and so'. 'This is what has happened to me'. 'I have done this and that'. 'I don't like cats' or whatever it might be.That is the mental image that you refer to or the center which you believe yourself to be. Investigate that. See that it is only an image based on the past. It is a dead image. In seeing that, you don't have to constantly keep doing it.Investigate until you really see that there is nothing there, until you see that it has no independent nature and has no substance. In seeing that, you can't believe it anymore. You need to look at this until you see that there is nothing to which I can say 'This is what I am'.Then you must realize that you are that 'no thing ness' or call it consciousness or awareness. It does not matter what you call it. The label is not it. You will never be able to grasp it with a label or concept. It is non conceptual awareness. That doesn't mean you have to chop out every concept either.Look at it literally. If you don't understand what a concept is, then look it up in the dictionary and get the meaning of it. See that everything, every label is a concept. The concept is not the actual thing. You can't drink the word ‘water'.So then, even though concepts are going on, understand that they are going on in that awareness. None of those concepts are attached to that in any way, shape or form. None has any independent existence and can't appear outside of that. So you must be that non conceptual consciousness or awareness.Got it?

I thought the message was to keep denying the presence of 'you'.

Have you got it?

Yes, I've got it now.

have a look at that. Could the mind say 'I don't know it' if there wasn't that intelligence energy vibration appearing as that thought 'I don't know it?' It is a subtle trap. Whichever shape or form, appearance or possibility that it vibrates as, it is still only that. There is a knowing there, that that idea 'I don't know it' is appearing on. You are that knowing ness. Knowing, the activity of knowing itself is pure intelligence.

I think that we know it but the mind says, 'I don't know it'.

Good! That is the experiencing. These things are happening in the experiencing. When you try to stop one or go along with one, you think you are the experience-er.

You know last night I listened to your CD, and in particular track 10 which has more relevance for me, I don't know why. You are talking about experiencing and the experience-er. Especially at night I do this visualization, like, OK. This person here is just an illusion or thoughts, and I can let myself drift off. Then I think, 'Hold on, that is just an experience too'. My mind is quickly jumping back and forth. I have to allow that to be because I don't have the time to be able to stop it.

There are no parts.

I keep imagining that I am this big screen that I am a part of.

If the so called 'foul mood' comes up and there is awareness of that, it is just what is. But when there is a label, that it is a ‘foul mood', it becomes an experience. Even the label is what is. But when it is believed in as 'I have got a foul mood', who has the foul mood? If it is just what is unaltered, unmodified and uncorrected if it is left at that, when the label comes up 'this is a foul mood' leave that also just as is unaltered, unmodified, uncorrected as what is.Then the next idea that comes up, 'I shouldn't be like this'; which comes up from the habit pattern; leave that also. Realize that there is no one to take a stand anywhere. Then watch it all flow. As soon as you go with the idea 'I should be like this', there is a resistance to it. If you don't like it, you want to change it .Have no reference point anywhere! Reference points will come up just like beliefs, labels and choices. But there is no choice maker. There is no one to have the beliefs or make a choice. Leave everything flowing.A thought will come about choice: 'I will do such and such'. Then another thought appears in consciousness: 'No I won't do that, I'll do this'. Then something completely different actually happens and the thought comes up: 'Oh, I chose to do that'. Who is the ‘I’ that chose to do it?There is no ‘I’ as such. There is no mental image there with any substance or independent nature able to do anything. It just gets done. It is a marvelous display in all its diversity. So many things are going on.

No, I know. But I can then say I am one without a second. It is not me that is being lived. It is this play that is being lived. I can easily go with that. But it's like there is this energy fault which pushes that 'anger button' or the ‘foul mood' button.

No. All the diversity is working away there: the germs and microbes, our thoughts and emotions, the sunsets, the clouds, the grass growing. Think of the myriad of differences in the diversity of that display. Marvel at that diversity of that intelligence energy. All appears and disappears in that. It appears in so many shapes and forms, but it still hasn't changed in its true nature or essence. It has formed that pattern to experience that which you call 'you'.The pattern got caught up in the conditioning and the belief that it was a separate entity. So it suffers accordingly. Then something brings it along to this, and something is pointed back to its own true nature.

So there is no rhyme or reason to it?

But what is getting squashed? The pattern.

Why isn't there relief in what you are telling me? I know that there is freedom. It is freedom. But it is like there is an acceptance of what you are saying as being true but with it comes absolute terror as well. I know that I have never been in control because I can see that. It is like I am an ant and I am going to get squashed by this torrent of life.

Yes, so why the terror?

That is part of it as I suppose.

Yes, that is the habit pattern, the belief that you are the doer. The belief is that if you let that go you will get squashed or you can't go on living. Go into it and have a really good look at it. Realize that from the sperm and the ovum, when there was no pattern that you call 'you'. That intelligence energy was in those two things, two patterns called 'sperm' and 'ovum'. And it allowed it to double and re-double and grow. It grew that body. Where was the terror then? Where was the concern about whether you would even reach the stage that you would even be born? When you came out of the womb and took your first breath, was there any terror then?What I am getting at is that it has brought you to this point. If you realize that, why would there be any concern about letting go? Let it take you to where it is going to take you. That genetic pattern that you are so concerned about may fall into place and function very well.

Because the pattern is feeling that it is out of control.

What we call the 'mind' is the thinking process. But there is no thinker in it. It is all just happening from that pure intelligence. Is there a thinker?

Can you have a functioning memory with a mind?

Well have a look and see. Don't take my word for it. The thinker is the thought 'I think' isn't it! If that thought 'I think' is not there and the thinking this and that is not there, what is happening?

Apparently, there isn't.

Just thinking thoughts is coming up, isn't it? What we call thinking is coming up on that awareness, just the same as you are seeing right now. Before you say 'I see' the seeing is happening. So the thought 'I see' is just translating the seeing.That is the purpose of the so called mind: to translate what is appearing and disappearing. It is just another appearance itself. And it disappears itself also, the same as those thoughts. Thoughts are a subtle stage of energy. The spoken is less subtle. Word is a vibration and it all is a movement of energy.

I am not sure. It is just conceptual.

Yes. And if it is understood and seen as that, are you going to get involved too much in what it is appearing as? Naturally, there is a movement, a functioning going on. But knowing that it is only that, is it going to be a big deal? Just the same as waking from the dream: is it a big deal anymore? Naturally you still get caught in what the mind is telling you for a while, but you can't allocate it with any independent nature or substance. So it won't last.

So all that is appearing is that awareness?

The hearing of these things resonates and they do come up when necessary. You can't possibly be separate. You can't get away from it – not ever. There is no time to get away from it in. There is nowhere to get to. It is timeless. 'I had it the other day and I lost it' such statements are laughable. In seeing that, and knowing that, you see the big joke of it all. It is like a fish going around looking for water.

I remember you asked me a long time ago, in terms of feeling isolated, whether I could isolate myself from the air. At the time I thought, 'Well what has that got to do with it?' But I see its relevance now.

The crux of the whole matter is seeing what gets caught up in life. What we point out here is that it is non-existent. It is all only imagined or a conceptual image we have about ourselves. It's the self-bondage. That is the problem. The cause of it all is that self-center. If we really look at it we see that it never ever really existed. All it is, is an image we have of ourselves, based on past events and experiences and the conditioning that we have been conditioned to by our parents, society, school and nation and whatever.From all that, we form a picture of ourselves and believe that we have low self-esteem or 'I am not good enough' or 'I am having a bad time' or 'Poor me' or whatever. It all relates to that image we believe ourselves to be.Everything becomes relative to that reference point from then on. It is from that reference point that everything is judged to be good or bad, painful or pleasant or happy or sad. So that is what has to be investigated. Who is this ‘I’ that thinks it has the problem?We start here with the only reality that you're absolutely certain of, and that is the fact of your own being. Under no circumstances can you say that 'I am not'. You continually know that you are. There is no need to go around saying, 'I am, I am'.That innate, intrinsic knowing is constantly with you. But then it gets seemingly obscured with all the thoughts and everything that comes up and appears on that knowingness. To translate that knowingness into words you have to say 'I am'.Yet you know that you are, without having to think about it. That is where the 'I am' thought was born. It is the knowingness or sense of presence expressing itself through the mind.It is hard for the mind to latch onto the 'I am' thought on its own. All that the mind can do is latch onto other thoughts and concepts from the conditioning, experiences and events from the past. It becomes 'I am this person who has done this and that', 'I am no good', 'I am bad’, 'unhappy' or whatever.See clearly that all these are just images. By constantly referring to them they become a reference point. Just imagine for a moment what would happen if you didn't have a reference point. What could you say?

Simply Know That You Are?

Yes, you still couldn't negate your beingness. But without a reference point, you couldn't say it was good or bad, pleasant or painful. You couldn't say anything about it! You would just be that pure beingness, which you are always. So you see, it is imperative that you investigate and see that reference point has never had any existence whatsoever. Who is it when you say 'l am'? Where do you think this 'l am' is?

I suppose that it is just being.

When you say 'my' awareness, who is aware?

It's my awareness. It feels like my awareness.

That awareness that you are, seemingly experiences happen in that awareness. Now, can there really be anything other than awareness? To try and describe it, the ancients use the metaphor 'space like awareness'. It is similar to space. What can you say about space? Can you define it?

Yes, I see. What makes it mine? The experience comes through a being, doesn't it?

Has it got any shape?

No.

Any form? Any dimension?

No.

So you see, it has no shape, no form, and no dimension. Does it have a center?

Not unless I attach it to something.

If it has no center, then it can't have a circumference either. All you can say about it really is that it just is. It just is. Now using that metaphor 'space like awareness', if you look at it closely you will see that everything, this Earth as we know it, the sun, the stars, all the galaxies, comets and meteors, black holes and whatever you can conceptualize must take place in the space. There is nothing you can postulate or think about outside of space. Is there?

No.

If you say that there is an end to space, what would it be contained in? Space! Everything appears in space. And to us that space is no thing. It is nothing. Now, can something come from nothing?

No.

No. So, all this manifestation is really nothing. It is really only that space like awareness vibrating into patterns, shapes and forms. But its essence is still that space.This body, for instance, if it was broken down and pounded into powder then the wind came along and blew the powder away, would it be a body anymore?

I haven't got a clue. No.

Could you make it into a body?

No.

Every particle and subatomic particle would be in space, wouldn't it? It would all be there in space, but it wouldn't be in the shape and form that it is in now. The same with this globe that we know as Earth. If it blew up tomorrow, every particle of it would still be in space. Nothing can ever be added to it and nothing can be lost. The patterns and shapes and forms that appear here would break down, but that space like awareness is all that you really are. That is not limited to some particular shape or form.

Probably not.

Always never. The Buddhists call it unborn. 'Unborn' means un originated. That means it has no origin. It has no beginning. It is beginning less and endless. It is timeless. It is space less. It is bodiless. It is mindless. It is no thing. Yet it is the essence in which everything appears and disappears. That is what you really are.So, you see, that removes the limits we put upon ourselves. Then you can see that the labels that we put upon ourselves, the words, are the limiting factor. You call yourself a 'human being' and you call God the 'supreme being.' Take away the label 'supreme', take away the label 'human', what is left? Being. Without the label, can you separate that beingness?

So you are saying that awareness is always.

No. That is being a chair . That is being a carpet. That is being the wall. Take all the labels off and what is it?

No.

That's right, being. That is all it is.

Just beingness.

Full stop!

Yes.

You see we immediately want to rush into the thought because to the mind that awareness is no thing. Mind is full of sensations and reasoning and 'this', 'that' and the 'other'. It is a wonderful display of thoughts, feelings and emotions. But cut all that away. That awareness, to the mind, is no thing. It is ungraspable. But it is clear; it is empty; it is lucid and it is pulsating through you right now as that livingness.

Just like that?