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DipeshChaudhary

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DatasetToTrainEpitome

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{ "emotionalPortion": "Basically what I wanna say to you is: your life's not over, it's just beginning. Whatever it is that makes you feel like a failure is probably a problem that is possible to overcome. Just focus on you and don't let other people get in your way and bring you down like I did. Don't let anyone else determine your happiness. Control your life. You can do it.", "emotionalStrength": "weak emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "My mom and dad both did that to me for a while. I'm 16. I used to be depressed over my bad grades and I had this constant anxious feeling that my life was over because of these bad grades and I would amount to nothing. Then all of a sudden one day, I noticed that bad grades in high school aren't the end of the world. It might have been because I moved out of my Dad's place and I didn't have to hear him call me a failure anymore.Then I met her. A nice girl who was my age. She had a pretty face, we had a ton of classes together, and she thought I was really funny. I was able to open up to her. I think (I know) I fell in love with her. She had a boyfriend though. He's a shitty person. He's high all the time and he always flirts around with other girls. I really thought she would break it off with him and find her way to my arms and I'd be the happiest guy in the world. That didn't happen. I became desperate. I began to have a drinking problem because of it. One night while very drunk I texted her a bunch of things about my depression. I don't think she cares about me anymore. Now I find myself drunk and alone for the umpteenth time wondering how I let myself get depressed again.", "response_post": "Do your parents tell you that you're a failure? My mom and dad both did that to me for a while. I'm 16. I used to be depressed over my bad grades and I had this constant anxious feeling that my life was over because of these bad grades and I would amount to nothing. Then all of a sudden one day, I noticed that bad grades in high school aren't the end of the world. It might have been because I moved out of my Dad's place and I didn't have to hear him call me a failure anymore. Either way, I became happy again. Then I met her. A nice girl who was my age. She had a pretty face, we had a ton of classes together, and she thought I was really funny. I was able to open up to her. I think (I know) I fell in love with her. She had a boyfriend though. He's a shitty person. He's high all the time and he always flirts around with other girls. I really thought she would break it off with him and find her way to my arms and I'd be the happiest guy in the world. That didn't happen. I became desperate. I began to have a drinking problem because of it. One night while very drunk I texted her a bunch of things about my depression. I don't think she cares about me anymore. Now I find myself drunk and alone for the umpteenth time wondering how I let myself get depressed again. Basically what I wanna say to you is: your life's not over, it's just beginning. Whatever it is that makes you feel like a failure is probably a problem that is possible to overcome. Just focus on you and don't let other people get in your way and bring you down like I did. Don't let anyone else determine your happiness. Control your life. You can do it.", "rp_id": "d1y1e3x", "seeker_post": "I'm a 14 year boy and I feel alone, depressed, and I feel like I don't want to be on this world anymore. Help me please.. Update: I'm feeling slightly better thanks to you guys, but it's slowly coming back again and I kept on doing on what you guys are telling me to do and I'm officially lost in the mind again help if you can.", "sp_id": "4e8uj5" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "If I do act like how I feel, I'm probably a nightmare to be around, because there's an aura of sadness and hopelessness that surrounds me. How can I expect anyone to approach me? Even if there is someone who does, it would be crazy to expect them to completely accept a miserable wreck like me. I mean, I can't just take and not give.It does feel like shit, but I've managed to construct separate personalities for interacting with my family and for anything job-related, because at a workplace, nobody gives a fuck if you're rotting on the inside due to over a decade of depression, anxiety, and self-hatred.", "response_post": "But then it can be even worse.. If we honestly, truly act like we feel 100% of the time, there really isn't much hope to establish any real connection to anyone.. It's really fucking difficult to wear a mask all the time, but at least it's marginally better that being alone all the time, isn't it? Most people don't want to associate with someone who is severely depressed and deathly anxious, and I can't even blame them.. If I do act like how I feel, I'm probably a nightmare to be around, because there's an aura of sadness and hopelessness that surrounds me. How can I expect anyone to approach me? Even if there is someone who does, it would be crazy to expect them to completely accept a miserable wreck like me. I mean, I can't just take and not give.. And then there's the people who act all smug and give you all that fucking moronic rose-tinted glasses shit with an air of superiority, a la /r/wowthanksimcured, and you feel even worse. It does feel like shit, but I've managed to construct separate personalities for interacting with my family and for anything job-related, because at a workplace, nobody gives a fuck if you're rotting on the inside due to over a decade of depression, anxiety, and self-hatred. So, while I wish I could agree with what you say, it's just not applicable..", "rp_id": "e3lqxjm", "seeker_post": "The dilemma I'm facing every day. Don't be sad and quiet, people don't like sad and quiet. Don't pretend to be happy and cheerful, people can feel you are pretending, and they don't like disingenuity.", "sp_id": "94i3bn" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "I was verbally, physically and emotionally abused for as long as I can recall. Since you asked about emotional abuse I will focus solely on that. I was blamed constantly forI was also emotionally abused by my father, it was different than my mother's abuse though.I'm not social, I don't really trust anyone or have any close friends but I'm okay with that.", "response_post": "I'm game and need to vent so here goes... I was verbally, physically and emotionally abused for as long as I can recall. Since you asked about emotional abuse I will focus solely on that. I was blamed constantly for everything that was wrong with the family. My mother told me this numerous times after she and my father would have huge, physically violent fights that started over events that had nothing to do with me. I was constantly told If you had a brain you would be dangerous. by my mother. Not after I'd done anything, not after a stupid act or action on my part but just in passing. This was my mother's assesment of me and she told me this frequently. I was tested, determined to have a high IQ, placed in gifted and talented classes and made to suffer for it by narcissistic, superficial, egotistical mother for my entire life. If I vot an A I was told it was because the work was too easy for me, if I got a B it was because I was lazy and never applied myself. I would constantly be accused of thinking I was So smart. Nothing I ever did or attempted to do was good enough, there was always some flaw in it. I only received criticism, never any praise. In 4th grade I had lovely long hair, my mother decided I should have it all cut off. She took me to a beauty school and had them cut all of my hair off, a boy cut, they shaved the back of my neck. My mom cried afterward and said she was crying because The haircut showed how ugly I was. The next week we were going into our small town to pick up this giant fancy framed picture for our living room, My mom made me walk on the opposite side of the street after we got out of the car. She said, I don't want to be seen with you and have people know you are my daughter. My mother really values externak beauty. I was a skinny unremarlable child, I never forgot the other side of the street incident, I had to look at the damn framed picture that we picked up that day until I moved away from home and got married at age 19. Every time I saw it I thought of that day. Years of torture. I was a divorced single mother, my ex never paid a dime, not any of the support we were supposed to receive. I worked two jobs to support us. I never received any financial help from anyone. I crafted a nice career for myself and tried to be a good mom and a good person. I never drank, never did drugs or ran around or went wild or got in any trouble. But my mother was/is ashamed of me and made/makes sure to let me know it. Anyone she talks about to me she lets me know how successful their children are, how wealthy they are and how proud the parents are. My mom told me one day how disappointed she was with how I'd turned out, how she always thought I'd be someone when I grew up. She said she'd hoped I would've grown up to marry a doctor or lawyer or someone important. I told her I was someone. At the time I was an online database adminstrator with a nationally recognized nonprofit but to my mother I was an embarrassment, a nothing and a nobody. My mother's father, my grandfather was one of the only people in my life that was always kind to me, he treated me like I was special and had value. My mother knew I adored him and she hated that he liked me. After he died she insisted on telling me horrible things about him saying she wanted me to know what kind of man the grandfather I worshipped really was and that I should not feel special that some thing like him tolerated me better than most. Right after I was divorced, I was not yet employed full time and very poor. I was visifing my parents at their huge house in the country. My mother started bitching about how poor I was, I had not asked her or dad for a dime and I was not there to eat. Mom started talking about dying, asked me if I had a sill, etc.. Mom told me I better not die because she did not want to have to spend her money on a funeral for me, and she said not that anyone would show up at a funeral for me anyway. She also told me that she'd always thought of me as a living abortion, since my birth. She was going nuts, yelling and spitting. She told me she bet I was so poor, such a failure that I probably could not even afford feminine products. I got my purse to leave, opened it and hurled a few tampons at her, as I told her, wrong bitch. My father blocked the front door, and tried to make me apologise to my mother. I had to threaten to call the police before he would let me go. After my father passed away my mother called, she said she needed to ask me something. Then mom said, Did you ever think or get the feeling that your father really loved you or cared about you? I told my mom that yes, yes I did. That dad was a fifties guy and although he may not have ever been emotionally demonstrative I thought he did love and care about me. He has worked hard and made personal sacrifices to care for us financially when I was young. That there had been a few occassions that he'd been very nice to me. Like going into a shop and buying me a top he knew I wanted for my 16th Birthday. Buying me a computer, working with me on computer projects early on, buying us both laptops, teaching me to shoot and fish, and by his having special nicknames and greetings for me, etc.. I told mom that was how dad expressed his love. My mother said, That's interesting because I always had the impression that he didn't care about you at all. I was also emotionally abused by my father, it was different than my mother's abuse though. My dad alwsys had to be the best. He could not stand for me to be good at anything I could never, ever be as good as he was or (god fobid it) better. My parents were never involved in our education. They basically just asked us at dinner how school was and we'd say OK and dinner would proceed. I should have known from past events not to dare say anything positive had happened but one day I was happy and excited about something that had happened at school, in English class. I was so excited that I stupidly spoke up at dinner. When the standard, How was school? question was asked I boldly said, School was great, Mrs. G, my English teacher pulled me aside after class. She told me a poem I'd written for an assignment was so good they want my permission to publish it on the first page of the student yearbook! My father put his fork down, he tilted his head, gave me a bizarre look and told me to recite the poem. I could not recite it, I was too nervous and afraid. I said I would show it to him after dinner, it was no big deal. No, dad wanted to hear this fabulous poem I had written, right then. I went and got the poem and started to read it out loud. Dad told me to give it to him to read. He told me if it was in the yearbook people woukd be reading it for themselves. Dad read it silently and then while scoffing and half laughing he read it aloud. Dad asked me if the idiots at my school really thought that was good writing? He said he bet he could write something right then that would be a hundred times better. Dad left the table and went to his desk while we all sat at the table waiting for his return. After about twenty minutes Dad cheerfully returned, poem in hand. He stood and read it to us. It was some lame poem with Brother can you spare me a dime as one of the lines. Dad then told us, See, that's a poem, that's what good poetry is like! After that he asked all of us, Wasn't my poem better, a lot better? We all agreed, and lied and said his poem was a lot better. I told the English teacher not to let them use my poem for the yearbook. I never wrote another poem or much else for that matter. That crap happened in 1975 and I am still not over it despite counseling. Another thing that was a form of emotional abuse was the family hierarchy. My father came first, then my sister or mother, then me. I.always came last, even though I was the eldest child. There was this thing with the food. If we had any serving size type of meat it came into play. Let's say it is steaks for dinner, they are on a platter. The largest steak is for Dad, younger sister gets the next largest, mom third largest and smallest was for me. It was like that with all of the food. It was an unwritten rule. I decided to challenge it once when the platter of Hamburgers was beside me. I knew better than to go for the one for Dad but tried to take the secind largest one. My mom was immediately shrieking at me, No, no, put that back, it's for your sister! Yours is the small one. My parents home has our family pictures hanging in the study, they are hung vertically on one wall. The order is from top to bottom, a picture of my dad, a picture of my mom, a picture of my sister, a picture of my son, then a picture of me. I.am at the very bottom, like always. I.endured physical, emotional and mental abuse. I've seen therapist on occasion over the years and at one point was in therapy sessions twice a week for a year. It helped but it hasn't enabled me forget. I just have to deal with what happened and move forward. I'm not social, I don't really trust anyone or have any close friends but I'm okay with that. TLDR: Emotionally abused, made me tough, I survived it with a bit of therapy. Edit: Added TLDR", "rp_id": "eepg5ut", "seeker_post": "Emotionally abused people. Please tell me your stories if you feel like it. Who abused you? How it affects you? I want to prove myself that my case is not that bad and i can make it.", "sp_id": "ain7uq" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "You have to feel that you're important regardless of what anybody feels", "emotionalStrength": "weak emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "I mean, when I was in HS I didn't feel important. I didn't have any friends or relationships and I thought me not finding work in HS was the main cause of that. These days, I have a job and i'm in college working on a STEM degree...Still no friends or relationships...not even a sign that anyone is interested. I have to find importance in myself first and I come before everyone period because there is a good chance that I will die before anybody chooses to realize that I exist.", "response_post": "It's an interesting thing. You have to feel that you're important regardless of what anybody feels at least that was the message that people gave to me (non verbal). I mean, when I was in HS I didn't feel important. I didn't have any friends or relationships and I thought me not finding work in HS was the main cause of that. These days, I have a job and i'm in college working on a STEM degree...Still no friends or relationships...not even a sign that anyone is interested. I have to find importance in myself first and I come before everyone period because there is a good chance that I will die before anybody chooses to realize that I exist.", "rp_id": "d458wbb", "seeker_post": "I don't feel important. I feel like I'm marginalized and unimportant. I could disappear and truthfully no one would notice or care. There's nothing about me that's lasting or important about me that comes from me and me alone. I just don't matter.", "sp_id": "4nn2pb" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "Hope you're alright. Try and move on as fast as possible and keep this in the back of your head so you don't fall into a dangerous rebound. Keep your head up.", "emotionalStrength": "weak emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "Hope you're alright. Try and move on as fast as possible and keep this in the back of your head so you don't fall into a dangerous rebound. Keep your head up.", "rp_id": "dniy6e3", "seeker_post": ".... He abandoned me when I needed him the most.", "sp_id": "72buu2" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "Because there'll be better days. I know you what you think. That it's bs but it's trueIt may take years to come but there'll be a moment later where'll you say im happy that i didnt kill myself", "emotionalStrength": "weak emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "I've fallen so hard yet sooner or later there's that one thing happening and then it gets better.", "response_post": "Because there'll be better days. I know you what you think. That it's bs but it's true. I've fallen so hard yet sooner or later there's that one thing happening and then it gets better. If you off yourself now think about all the things you couldn't expirience? Your first kiss, playing with your child, true love, a beautiful landscape that you maybe planned on visiting, the smell of rain, the taste of your favorite food, that awesome feeling of completing a task and it goes on and on. I know how you feel. I didnt believe it either but it's true. It may take years to come but there'll be a moment later where'll you say im happy that i didnt kill myself", "rp_id": "dnpkhzu", "seeker_post": "Why should I stay?. Whats the point? Who really gives a fuck? Nobody...none of you people look at me ...none of you see me for who i could be. Why should i stay... got 15 mins to save a life..and go", "sp_id": "73drp1" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "I resisted getting help till it nearly costed me my life", "response_post": "It's called genetics, I would suggest seeing a doctor, but but why the hell should you listen to me? I resisted getting help till it nearly costed me my life, other people would just rather kill themselves than accept that they have problems so why should I think you're any different?", "rp_id": "dsnbor1", "seeker_post": "I don't know what's wrong with me. What should I do?. I don't know why anyone would love me. I don't even like myself. I was having an emotional breakdown about something earlier and my boyfriend tried calming me down. He tried holding/hugging me but I told him to get away from me and said that he doesn't love me and that he's only with me until he finds someone else. He grabbed me and told me that I'm beautiful and that he loves me and that I'm his heart. I continued tried to push him off of me but he just kept holding me tighter. He led me to the bedroom and we laid on the bed and he held me until I fell asleep. When I got up he asked me if I was okay and I told him yes. He asked are you sure and I got annoyed and screamed yes at him. Why am I the way that I am?", "sp_id": "7q92ow" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "I have been on a few different types of SSRIs over the past few years and the only one that has worked for me so far is my current one, Fluoxetine (UK name, not sure of alternative names). It's great for my anxiety and have only been on 20mg since I started taking it, haven't had any side affects or problems with it at all. It's taken 5 years of diagnosed depression to find one that works for me, so unfortunately it's trial and error.", "response_post": "I have been on a few different types of SSRIs over the past few years and the only one that has worked for me so far is my current one, Fluoxetine (UK name, not sure of alternative names). It's great for my anxiety and have only been on 20mg since I started taking it, haven't had any side affects or problems with it at all. It's taken 5 years of diagnosed depression to find one that works for me, so unfortunately it's trial and error.", "rp_id": "dc7x3h4", "seeker_post": "Have anti-depressants worked for anyone?. Curious to know peoples experiences with anti-depressants. Thanks", "sp_id": "5n17mi" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "strong explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "What would make you feel better, do you know?", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "What would make you feel better, do you know?", "rp_id": "djcrgty", "seeker_post": "I'm crying. I'm not feeling good, I just want to be dead or disappear.", "sp_id": "6j9z00" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "Find a reason to die or find a reason to live. While the first option seems easier, I am hoping you could go for the second one, albeit it is much harder.", "rp_id": "dyie3sq", "seeker_post": "I don't want to die, but I don't want to live either.. Is there anything I can do?", "sp_id": "8hb1r6" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "Ahw im so sorry for you", "emotionalStrength": "strong emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "strong explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "what happened to your dog if i may ask?", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "Ahw im so sorry for you, what happened to your dog if i may ask?", "rp_id": "e39er2d", "seeker_post": "First Night W/O My Doggo. I know this sounds silly, but this is going to be the first night spend without my baby since I adopted her in December. been my little rock. upset, and I just wanted to put it out there. scared going to slip into an episode, and by myself.", "sp_id": "92ywtd" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "What really gets me is I feel like no matter how good friends or how much someone loves you they use you something and if they using you for something they associating with you.", "rp_id": "dqugpc1", "seeker_post": "I don’t think people love me. They love versions of me I have spun for them, versions of me they have construed in their minds. The easy versions of me, the easy parts of me to love.. But no one will ever love me", "sp_id": "7hvmne" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "Everyone has value. Everyone.", "emotionalStrength": "weak emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "strong explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "What's making you feel so worthless right now?", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "Everyone has value. Everyone. What's making you feel so worthless right now?", "rp_id": "dcbeoho", "seeker_post": "Actual shower thoughts. I am worthless... *sobs* *more sobbing*", "sp_id": "5nfet0" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "I do this involuntarily, and it can get bad, fast. I freeze when it becomes severe; I start running scenarios in my head and I get anxious considering the possibilities.whatever it is, I just go essentially blank while my brain feels too broken to work it out. If I could undo just this one phenomenon, I could probably live with my depression a lot more easily.", "response_post": "I do this involuntarily, and it can get bad, fast. I freeze when it becomes severe; I start running scenarios in my head and I get anxious considering the possibilities. It might be that the outcome in either case is equally good, or I feel underinformed about the possibilities of one case, or what I really know I want to do has a potential worst-case that seems way more likely than it really is because I can't process over my own internal noise, but whatever it is, I just go essentially blank while my brain feels too broken to work it out. If I could undo just this one phenomenon, I could probably live with my depression a lot more easily. **Tl;dr:** right there with ya, OP.", "rp_id": "d75qzrm", "seeker_post": "do you avoid making decisions when you're depressed?. Knowing that your ability to make informed and clear decisions may be clouded by your depression. Do you put them off for times that you're feeling not as depressed? Kind of a make hay while the sun shines kind of thinking.", "sp_id": "50otwl" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "I guess that depends on your country and social security system... But a phonebook will probably Work! :)", "rp_id": "dmhhczq", "seeker_post": "How do you find a good psychiatrist?. I had one I really liked when I was on my parents insurance, but the past three I've had have been bad for different reasons. Is there a site or something with reviews? What should I even look for?", "sp_id": "6xosda" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "Same.. no place for me in this world.", "response_post": "Same.. no place for me in this world.", "rp_id": "dyhwhc5", "seeker_post": "I hate myself. I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself", "sp_id": "8h5o9d" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "I'm sorry you had that shitty non-reason response thrown at you. What you're going through is real and valid, even if others choose not to acknowledge it.", "emotionalStrength": "strong emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "My boyfriend said this to me more frequently in the past and after YEARS of explaining why this is not a good response, he's slowly using it less, but when it pops up, my typical counter is", "response_post": "Dude. This feeling, I know it, and sadly, this is a common go-to response for a lot of people who simply have nothing better to contribute. It's out of context and beside the point in essence. It's a variation of the ever popular At least you aren't a starving kid in [insert country here]! and more generally It could be worse! Like, yes, thanks very much Captain Obvious, everything is relative, but that's beside the point? It's invalidating, insensitive and snobby, at best, and I have no idea if it helps you feel any better, but when a lot of people say it, they do think they're doing some genuine good to help you feel better, despite being wildly misinformed on how hurtful that phrase actually is. My boyfriend said this to me more frequently in the past and after YEARS of explaining why this is not a good response, he's slowly using it less, but when it pops up, my typical counter is That does not help me/make me feel better at all, and that typically shuts him up or at least makes him think about what he just said. In any case, I'm sorry you had that shitty non-reason response thrown at you. What you're going through is real and valid, even if others choose not to acknowledge it.", "rp_id": "d6b9ywk", "seeker_post": "My bf told me to cheer up because my life is not that hard. I have never been so close to hitting another person. It made me so angry that he said that to me.", "sp_id": "4wzgrg" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "I haven't had human affection for 16years.", "response_post": "I haven't had human affection for 16years.", "rp_id": "dvhm6be", "seeker_post": "Haven't had a genuine hug in years. It wouldn't fix anything, but it'd sure help a lot.", "sp_id": "83egk6" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "weak explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "Tell us a bit more. What's your story?", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "Tell us a bit more. What's your story?", "rp_id": "duziopv", "seeker_post": "Plz help me... ... I'm tired of living, I just wanna die", "sp_id": "810crj" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "I know the feeling. I had a girlfriend until May of this year, and part of me regrets breaking up with her even though we weren't meant for each other. Part of me wants to be in a relationship, and the other part thinks it would be a terrible idea and that I should be alone for the rest of my life. Admittedly, it is partly just because I'm lonely, which isn't a great thing for me to build a relationship on.", "response_post": "I know the feeling. I had a girlfriend until May of this year, and part of me regrets breaking up with her even though we weren't meant for each other. Part of me wants to be in a relationship, and the other part thinks it would be a terrible idea and that I should be alone for the rest of my life. Admittedly, it is partly just because I'm lonely, which isn't a great thing for me to build a relationship on.", "rp_id": "dapsdkn", "seeker_post": "I wish i had a partner. Someone to love, and to love me back. It would not solve everything, but it'd make me a lot happier. I know i know, i'm being a little bit entitled for this. But damn, it would be good to have a partner.", "sp_id": "5g64aa" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "Sorry I can't help you very much...", "emotionalStrength": "strong emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "weak explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "Uhhh... who?", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "Uhhh... who? Sorry I can't help you very much...", "rp_id": "d4ayvhm", "seeker_post": "I miss you.. So much. Constantly. I just want you back.", "sp_id": "4oanqk" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "I had a dream a while back that someone had a gun pointed to my head and I told them to to pull the trigger because they would be doing me a favor.....", "response_post": "I had a dream a while back that someone had a gun pointed to my head and I told them to to pull the trigger because they would be doing me a favor.....", "rp_id": "dqycy0p", "seeker_post": "I dream of suicide. It's all I can think about at the moment.", "sp_id": "7ifnxl" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "Like, I was given Vicodin after a medical procedure a couple years ago but I had to stop taking it because it mostly just made me feel groggy and withdrawn.", "response_post": "It's certainly possible your injury could have triggered a depressive episode, especially if it's impacting something you care a lot about doing. Or a possible side effect of a new medication? Like, I was given Vicodin after a medical procedure a couple years ago but I had to stop taking it because it mostly just made me feel groggy and withdrawn.", "rp_id": "d0l4z3x", "seeker_post": "I can't figure out what's going on right now...am I just unlucky?. So I've been dealing with terrible apathy and overall lack of interest with things such as school lately. I don't know if my medicines are working but it's been really difficult to get out of bed and make it to class lately. It's reached a point wherein it becomes so overcoming that I feel so powerless. I have little to no focus when it comes to schoolwork. To add to that, I injured myself recently and it requires surgery. I'm a pretty active athlete and the fact that I won't be able to be as active as I want to be scares me. It hasn't really sunken in yet but there's a certain feeling of emptiness that I feel and I don't know what to do.", "sp_id": "48ncmy" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "I tried taking my life multiple times as a teenager and always felt neglected and still do. Not a day goes by where I don't think how the world and people around me would be different if I was gone, either for better or for worse. I always try to remind myself that I keep myself on this planet to make the world a better place than I left it, as much as I want to leave the world right now, I fear we would just be losing to the enemy.", "response_post": "It isn't easy to deal with feelings of wishing we were dead, somehow escaping this world will resolve our matters. I tried taking my life multiple times as a teenager and always felt neglected and still do. Not a day goes by where I don't think how the world and people around me would be different if I was gone, either for better or for worse. I always try to remind myself that I keep myself on this planet to make the world a better place than I left it, as much as I want to leave the world right now, I fear we would just be losing to the enemy.", "rp_id": "d12y8a0", "seeker_post": "wish I were dead :(. About 19 years ago, I tried to kill myself by swallowing 31 extra strength sleeping pills - and I had an amazing spiritual experience. So now I know that killing myself will just make it worse and that I can't die until God takes me himself. That doesn't stop me from wishing I were dead. I recently saw a doctor because I had some throat cancer symptoms. Unfortunately I didn't. My soul feels like it was stabbed multiple times. The thought of maybe having to live 30-40 more years is the worst feeling I have ever had since the hours before my suicide attempt. :(", "sp_id": "4aritv" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "No, that's what I'm doing and it isn't working.", "response_post": "No, that's what I'm doing and it isn't working.", "rp_id": "d5jbok8", "seeker_post": "Does anyone else have insomnia?. I notice that on my worse days (of course every day sucks but you get what I mean) I find it very hard to get to sleep, I was just wondering if this is something anyone else experiences.", "sp_id": "4tq56t" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "Do you want to tslk to someone?", "emotionalStrength": "weak emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "weak interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "I know this feeling really well.", "response_post": "Do you want to tslk to someone? I know this feeling really well.", "rp_id": "dzv1h7h", "seeker_post": "Please let me die. Please let me fucking die and be done with this. I genuinely feel nothing, ever. I just understand why here. Every single day hurts. Please let me die", "sp_id": "8nev2x" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "Very sorry to hear it.", "emotionalStrength": "strong emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "strong explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "She came back the first time?", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "Very sorry to hear it. She came back the first time?", "rp_id": "dp7o2p4", "seeker_post": "Lonely.. I feel really really lonely after my ex gf left me for the second time cause she wanna handle my mental state. Can I have some company pls?", "sp_id": "7a6sgr" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "This stuff all exists on a spectrum, so maybe", "response_post": "This stuff all exists on a spectrum, so maybe arriving at some place of being totally better is not what it seems. I've had hardcore depression for many years, but I have definitely moved the bar significantly (without meds and without getting what i want in life or something, like a great relationship) which I can confirm especially in the moments when my external circumstances are going terribly, but i dont fall into 6 months of suicidal morbidity. I see depression (speaking only for myself here) as a product of thoughts and meanings. The same thing can happen to two people, and a depressed person will give it an incredibly dark meaning, whereas a non depressed person might give it a neutral or positive one. To me, growth out of depression is when you are finally grasping the arbitrary nature of meaning, and the impersonal nature of thought, and can start to make conscious rather than automatic decisions about what kind of meanings and thoughts you feed and go with (even arbitrarily). So, I arbitrarily decide to look at failing as good, because it gives me good reference experiences, rather than as evidence that i am worthless. Things like that. I still struggle a lot, but there is overwhelming evidence that you can slowly climb out of the hole with very hard inner work, and that the things that would have previously sent you down the spiral become more like non issues. Meditation is the single most powerful tool i've found.", "rp_id": "d5sr95l", "seeker_post": "Has anyone here gotten better and stayed better?. As far as I've been able to tell, no matter if you get better or not, depression will always just come back. Temporary problem, my ass.", "sp_id": "4us4zc" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "I'm very proud of you too! Remember the great feeling of success you have right now it will help you next time you have the urge.", "emotionalStrength": "strong emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "I'm very proud of you too! Remember the great feeling of success you have right now it will help you next time you have the urge.", "rp_id": "drv7wia", "seeker_post": "i didn't do it. last night the urge to self harm was incredible, it was as hard as ever... I didn't do it. if I could, you can. stay strong everybody, I care about each and all of you. We're imperfect, but that's perfection.", "sp_id": "7mnc9l" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "feel free to PM", "emotionalStrength": "weak emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "what's up? feel free to PM", "rp_id": "d18gvim", "seeker_post": "I hate myself so much that I'd rather not commit suicide just to punish myself. I'm dead on the inside.", "sp_id": "4besrh" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "I'm sorry dude. You aren't alone, I promise.", "emotionalStrength": "strong emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "It is. It's very tough to keep going.I just try to focus on the next very small thing I can do.", "response_post": "It is. It's very tough to keep going. I can't tell you how to make it stop, I wish I could. I just try to focus on the next very small thing I can do. I'm sorry dude. You aren't alone, I promise.", "rp_id": "do3m7i3", "seeker_post": "Right now. The pain of existence is getting too much. I'm not going to do anything permanent about it but I just fucking wish I could stop the pain. Why is it so hard to keep going.", "sp_id": "755i48" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "I know I'm just a stranger on the internet, but I'm here if you need to talk.", "emotionalStrength": "weak emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "weak interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "I know dealing with this shit is a bitch", "response_post": "Are you alright? I know dealing with this shit is a bitch, but trust me...you aren't alone. I know I'm just a stranger on the internet, but I'm here if you need to talk.", "rp_id": "dfpys30", "seeker_post": "I guess I can never drink. There hasn't been a time where I've gotten drunk, and haven't thought heavily about milling myself. I used to think about it sober but I'm past that.", "sp_id": "62y9ep" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "Thank you but right now I feel like I only deserve to die.", "response_post": "Thank you but right now I feel like I only deserve to die.", "rp_id": "dkf3z19", "seeker_post": "You deserve to feel okay.. You deserve to feel good.", "sp_id": "6o5nc0" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "weak interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "Yeah kinda.", "response_post": "Yeah kinda. Hopefully we can upgrade to a real straw someday.", "rp_id": "e1vfi7g", "seeker_post": "Existing feels like trying to take every breath through a coffee stirrer.. So much effort for so little payoff", "sp_id": "8wgo5f" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "Mirtazapine makes me incredibly sleepy. I take it about an hour before I want to sleep and be out like a light by then.", "response_post": "Mirtazapine makes me incredibly sleepy. I take it about an hour before I want to sleep and be out like a light by then.", "rp_id": "dsodbey", "seeker_post": "I recently got diagnosed w depression coupled w PTSD & anxiety and I've been put on Mirtazapine. Any experiences w dis drug, side-effects, withdrawals?. I just feel like it gives me a mellow weed high, actually enjoying it. Hope it treats my depression", "sp_id": "7qcfkj" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "strong explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "What kind of exams do you have going on?", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "Yeah, I just took my midterms and it's worst I've ever done on any group of tests. It sucks because I feel like even if I studied way more it wouldn't have made a difference.", "response_post": "Yeah, I just took my midterms and it's worst I've ever done on any group of tests. It sucks because I feel like even if I studied way more it wouldn't have made a difference. What kind of exams do you have going on?", "rp_id": "dw0u3ak", "seeker_post": "Fml. Coming exams, presentations, rosacea skin condition which is fucking up my life. Bad grades because I have no motivation. Can't even bother to type more because life feels so worthless", "sp_id": "85xnh7" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "so nice to talk to someone who understands, it makes you feel less lonely, a great feeling.", "emotionalStrength": "weak emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "Same here, nice to know that not alone. I have no friends at school, I hate school to be honest, it makes me feel so depressed and lonely. My home much better because my mother is always mean, my father very kind either. This place has made me meet a bunch of people I can relate to.", "response_post": "Same here, nice to know that not alone. I have no friends at school, I hate school to be honest, it makes me feel so depressed and lonely. My home much better because my mother is always mean, my father very kind either. This place has made me meet a bunch of people I can relate to. so nice to talk to someone who understands, it makes you feel less lonely, a great feeling.", "rp_id": "e70qj6o", "seeker_post": "Happy happy. Its nice knowing that theres a place where u can just say your problems and get some nice replies. I know that some are just obligatory get well soon comments but i feel really happy whenever i see someone reply it makes me feel loved", "sp_id": "9kpbi1" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "I'm a little lite in that area too.", "response_post": "I'm a little lite in that area too.", "rp_id": "e2b3npz", "seeker_post": "i have no friends. no friends, failed with girls many times, sometimes I think the world would be better off without me", "sp_id": "8yicpv" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "Get her to a doctor and get her to tell them about it. They'll know what services are available to help her out.", "rp_id": "d81y8wh", "seeker_post": "Wife is considering suicide.. My wife has a long history with depression, dating back to her childhood. She's tried to do it before and someone found her. I need to know the steps to get her help.", "sp_id": "54ftb4" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "or you can just waste your life instead", "rp_id": "ec9qoe6", "seeker_post": "i want die. i will probably give myself the die soon idk", "sp_id": "a8dbcu" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "I struggle with the same thing, but with my step dad. I've basically given up on it.", "response_post": "I struggle with the same thing, but with my step dad. I've basically given up on it.", "rp_id": "dnheu5c", "seeker_post": "How do I explain to my father that I struggle with doing basic tasks due to my depression?. No matter how I explain it, he doesn't get it", "sp_id": "72cj1w" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "No real job. I've have cash in hand stuff. Last job looked promising but I said I didn't want to do cash anymore as it's illegal and they didn't call me back at all.", "response_post": "No real job. I've have cash in hand stuff. Last job looked promising but I said I didn't want to do cash anymore as it's illegal and they didn't call me back at all.", "rp_id": "e55dwo2", "seeker_post": "Anyone else on here in their twenties and never been employed?. I'm pretty sure this is not a really common thing... And it sure is debilitating. Makes me feel like a totally lost cause.", "sp_id": "9bsip2" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "Feel better my friend, you are not alone.", "emotionalStrength": "weak emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "Absolutely. Self doubt, drifting thoughts, bleak view of the future, and a tsunami of regret floods my mind regularly every evening. Then I retreat to the Internet which keeps me up all night. It's a little out there, but I've had incredible relief from my insomnia, depression, and chronic pain using an Aerial Yoga Hammock. I hang it from the ceiling right next to my bed/computer desk and usually just cacoon in it for an hour or so. Feeling weightless and swaying back and forth has an incredibly natural calming effect on the mind.", "response_post": "Absolutely. Self doubt, drifting thoughts, bleak view of the future, and a tsunami of regret floods my mind regularly every evening. Then I retreat to the Internet which keeps me up all night. It's a little out there, but I've had incredible relief from my insomnia, depression, and chronic pain using an Aerial Yoga Hammock. I hang it from the ceiling right next to my bed/computer desk and usually just cacoon in it for an hour or so. Feeling weightless and swaying back and forth has an incredibly natural calming effect on the mind. They are only $60 on amazon too. Feel better my friend, you are not alone.", "rp_id": "d3t9trh", "seeker_post": "I feel fine during the day, but in the evening depression hits me hard. Can anyone relate? I feel pretty fine during the day, probably because I'm occupied doing stuff but in the evening I get really sad, like really sad and I also feel trapped and lonely...", "sp_id": "4m6zsg" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "try and find coping methods that work for you, and there is always support here and someone to talk to; feel free to send me a PM if you ever want. Keep holding on friend.", "emotionalStrength": "weak emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "But also the majority of parasites are not pathogenic and relatively harmless to humans. A parasite such as a tapeworm for example cannot take enough nutrition from a person to drastically physically harm them. How do we get rid of parasites? Medical help is usually necessary - if it is available I would recommend it, I know it may be daunting but it could really help. There are also other options - try and find coping methods that work for you, and there is always support here and someone to talk to; feel free to send me a PM if you ever want. Keep holding on friend.", "rp_id": "dugi0wc", "seeker_post": "Depression is like a parasite.. It feeds off my body to live. It lives a life; controlling mine, while I live none.", "sp_id": "7yh2lk" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "strong explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "Is it the feeling or the visual that eases you?", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "Is it the feeling or the visual that eases you?", "rp_id": "doxs89f", "seeker_post": "Self Harm Habit. My anxiety and depression has gotten out of control lately. The only way I can breath is when I turn to cutting. I want to kill myself but sometimes relaxing just to watch myself bleed. Gosh, that sounds so fucked up.", "sp_id": "78y25t" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "All I want and need after I move on from this life is to be Omnipotent. It's something I obsess over because I want to experience true freedom and true peace for eternity! I just want to be a God and play in my own sandbox.", "rp_id": "dxpxoac", "seeker_post": "I hope reincarnation is a thing.. There's so many other kinds of people I'd rather be.", "sp_id": "8dsamk" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "Seems accurate. I just had a horrible day where the floodgates burst due to all the stuff that was building up the past few weeks that I couldn't let out.", "response_post": "Seems accurate. I just had a horrible day where the floodgates burst due to all the stuff that was building up the past few weeks that I couldn't let out.", "rp_id": "do3x3zi", "seeker_post": "People often say depression is emotional numbness, but I find it's more accurate for me to call it emotional constipation.. It's crude, I know, but really quite accurate. I find that my emotions build up, but there's never an outlet, and the more pressure I put or the more emotionally affected I should be, the harder it is to have any emotional output. It continues until something frees up and becomes loose - usually something small that slips through the cracks. At that point, the floodgates open - I get freed up to feel more strongly, usually with explosive effects. By contrast, less depressive days are the days where I'm emotionally loose enough to function - my feeling machine has been well oiled.", "sp_id": "756n2c" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "Disability resources has made college much more doable for me.", "response_post": "Disability resources has made college much more doable for me. Please seek them.", "rp_id": "dr7ia6c", "seeker_post": "Lying in my bed at 2pm, too tired to do anything. My mother is pounding on the door and screaming at me because I am so worthless.. I just want to fucking kill myself. Wish I wasn't such a coward. edit: I really fucking hope I will get over myself and do it today.", "sp_id": "7jj0fe" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "I can't socialize at all when I'm sober either, it sucks :/", "response_post": "I can't socialize at all when I'm sober either, it sucks :/", "rp_id": "diqhn19", "seeker_post": "At a friends having a drink. They're all having fun. I'm sitting here depressed.", "sp_id": "6gi6qc" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "weak emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "I'm still going through that period", "response_post": "That's a pretty profound question, but I think happiness is something that a lot of people don't understand. In a period or prolonged period of despair, I don't believe there can be happiness at all, and it's only after that period has been solved, over, attacked enough by effort and time, that you can start experiencing happiness. I don't think happiness and gratitude should be forced, or you should try to feel happy when you truly cannot feel happy. I'm still going through that period, and there might be rivets or jewels of happiness along the way, but they are fleeting and leave very quickly. The whole reason why people despair is because they are tied so strongly to negative emotional memories that they outweigh any trivial positive emotional memories. Think about it, which memories are the quickest, strongest, and most easily able to be remembered for you? The most emotional ones. If your most emotional memories are negative, you will be in despair. On the converse, if one's most emotional memories are positive, you will be in a state of happiness. There is a way to end your despair, you just have to face it head on and let go of everything, and keep trying to let go and accept. Very few people have any science on this and might be the thing we need to explore the most as a society as a whole.", "rp_id": "ds58dos", "seeker_post": "one question. I'll keep it simple. Can there be happiness in despair? Because I think I felt it and I want to kill off any hope that's left for me.", "sp_id": "7nxgp1" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "No, because I don't know what I can do to make it better. Although the motivation and concentration doesn't help.", "response_post": "No, because I don't know what I can do to make it better. Although the motivation and concentration doesn't help.", "rp_id": "dppna0x", "seeker_post": "i know what i have to do to get better; however, i don’t have the motivation nor concentration to do it. anybody in the same boat?:(", "sp_id": "7cdnft" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "never lost weight from the medications", "response_post": "never lost weight from the medications but some are known to cause little to no weight gain. Stay away for the older class of antidepressants because the cause heavy weight gain. Avoid SSRIs and try to stick to SNRIs. Bupropion is the only med linked to weight loss. Medications such as Viibryd and Pristiq have little little no side effects of weight loss.", "rp_id": "e4odtdb", "seeker_post": "Weight loss and pills. Anyone lose weight from their depression pills? Don't want to gain weight from pills.", "sp_id": "99jjjj" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "Pick something you're interested in. Anything. It could be comics, a historical event, a tv show, law, place, a band, etc and learn everything you an about that topic. See where it takes you :)", "rp_id": "dkc99ul", "seeker_post": "How do i get smarter. And also stop cutting in my sadness and anger", "sp_id": "6nuc0l" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "true happiness is, for me, is acceptance of how sad the world is and knowing that you're truly making it better for the people in your reach.", "response_post": "true happiness is, for me, is acceptance of how sad the world is and knowing that you're truly making it better for the people in your reach. Making it better for your loved ones and friends and that includes yourself. Don't think i could ever be 100% happy, that's just being naive.", "rp_id": "eciv5on", "seeker_post": "What is happiness?. always found it difficult to be happy. What makes you happy? What made you realise it was the thing that made you happy?", "sp_id": "a9evt3" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "I bite on my tongue for that reason.", "response_post": "I bite on my tongue for that reason. No risk of hurting yourself seriously if you pay attention, just hurts", "rp_id": "dt28e30", "seeker_post": "Does anyone else bite their hands?. Like, the pain makes me forget my depression for a second.", "sp_id": "7s5x50" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "You would have to be a horrible person to not deserve being liked.", "rp_id": "cyaho4e", "seeker_post": "I grabbed a piece of paper and decided to write down the names of every person who cared about me. In the end, it was a beautifully blank piece of paper.", "sp_id": "3y3ifa" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "i'm certain there's a science behind the calmness i feel in water. i've heard things about flowing water making people with anxiety feel better and i often notice it myself.", "response_post": "i'm certain there's a science behind the calmness i feel in water. i've heard things about flowing water making people with anxiety feel better and i often notice it myself.", "rp_id": "dmh85ur", "seeker_post": "Cold showers. They really help. Especially when i take 2-3 showers a day, i feel relieved.", "sp_id": "6xl7xg" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "You will find friends who care. Sometimes friends come out and tell you that you can talk to them about anything you just need to find the right people.", "emotionalStrength": "weak emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "You aren't too much they are just assholes for leaving you. its horrible for them to just leave you when you are struggling because they don't feel like being supportive. You will find friends who care. Sometimes friends come out and tell you that you can talk to them about anything you just need to find the right people.", "rp_id": "dqzmpwd", "seeker_post": "I opened up to a friend. And lost them because I was too much.", "sp_id": "7ilc0y" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "nothing matters, but we should at least live to the fullest, because in relative terms it matters.", "emotionalStrength": "weak emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "god damn i honestly feel the exact same as you in every aspect. sometimes i also just sit back and think about how none of this feels real, then the suicidal thoughts come on because i feel like there has to be more, then more sad, more depersonalized, and its just a vicious cycle.", "response_post": "god damn i honestly feel the exact same as you in every aspect. sometimes i also just sit back and think about how none of this feels real, then the suicidal thoughts come on because i feel like there has to be more, then more sad, more depersonalized, and its just a vicious cycle. nothing matters, but we should at least live to the fullest, because in relative terms it matters. no idea how to do that though", "rp_id": "dcci1z9", "seeker_post": "Dark view on life?. I seem to find myself just having a general hatred for humanity and the way things work. I feel that my look on life as a whole is just dark when compared to most people. Anyone else feel this way? Any way to fix this?", "sp_id": "5nld2t" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "Silver lining and framing and all that jazz. Best of luck, friend.", "emotionalStrength": "weak emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "Sometimes, I feel like this is okay though. The not being okay. I think there's this expectation we all have just because everyone else and everything around us shows this picture perfect life that is", "response_post": "Sometimes, I feel like this is okay though. The not being okay. I think there's this expectation we all have just because everyone else and everything around us shows this picture perfect life that is normal. Also, I get to the opinion sometimes that when none of it matters, it's actually the most liberating, because then I am truly free of my worldly concerns. I don't know. Silver lining and framing and all that jazz. Best of luck, friend.", "rp_id": "do1ltxg", "seeker_post": "I'm not okay and I'm not going to be okay.. I've never been okay before. It's all pointless.", "sp_id": "74wgmd" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "You got sick rhymes tho", "rp_id": "d1c4t9k", "seeker_post": "The alcohol doesn't work anymore, the girls make me feel more alone than before, all the drugs make me feel sick and sore, I've been tired since 2004, and I just want to go home.. Not really sure where that is though...", "sp_id": "4bsyvr" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "strong explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "Have you considered speaking with a therapist? Do you know why you feel this way?", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "Have you considered speaking with a therapist? Do you know why you feel this way?", "rp_id": "ee2fmk6", "seeker_post": "Feeling Numb. Title really says it all. Just feeling numb everyday and I don't care about really anything. And when I do feel happiness (which is rare) it's just for a brief moments. Idk what to really do at this point tbh.", "sp_id": "afzgkg" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "Same conclusions again and again", "response_post": "Same conclusions again and again", "rp_id": "dvovu14", "seeker_post": "I just know. Ever get the feeling that the way die is by suicide? I know when actually do it , but I just have feeling how going to be. Even when i am not that depressed ( which is never ) I still know way my life will end.", "sp_id": "84ejqn" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "I lose my will to draw a lot when yhings are rough. I have to force myself to pick up a pen / pencil some days, or I won't produce anything for months. There isn't always a reason, I just feel down sometimes", "response_post": "I lose my will to draw a lot when yhings are rough. I have to force myself to pick up a pen / pencil some days, or I won't produce anything for months. There isn't always a reason, I just feel down sometimes, you know?", "rp_id": "d02vsjo", "seeker_post": "I've lost my will to draw or write stories, nothing invokes any wonder to me anymore.. help what is wrong with me", "sp_id": "466pmy" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "weak interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "It is hard not to kick yourself when you feel that you never took a chance to be with someone you thought was the one, especially when you consider them to be such a great person.", "response_post": "Thought I should write something since the posts you were getting didn't look helpful. It is hard not to kick yourself when you feel that you never took a chance to be with someone you thought was the one, especially when you consider them to be such a great person. I mean, how can people not blame it all oneself if the other person is what we see as nothing but good? It is points in our life like these that we carry with us that tend to weigh us down in life, these moments of regret that can build up over time that we can't move forward.", "rp_id": "cxp6mlb", "seeker_post": "If she marries him, I will die of jealousy.. I know it's foolish, but I can't stop this feeling. I should have told her so many years ago, when they had just met. But I thought I was taking the higher ground by keeping silent and backing off. All I did was hurt myself.", "sp_id": "3vn9e5" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "That is great, keep feeling good!", "emotionalStrength": "weak emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "That is great, keep feeling good!", "rp_id": "e6zoo3q", "seeker_post": "I made a friend today. I'm making progress guys, I feel really good.", "sp_id": "9kkbw3" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "Don't worry about other people, they will become dust while you will become a diamond.", "emotionalStrength": "weak emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "strong explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "My question to you is, how are you going to move forward?", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "Heya buddy, i can relate, After 18 years of struggling I finally found out I have dyslexia, fine motor control issues and short term memory loss. It was like I had been designed to be the perfect malfunction so I cant do academics. I am different but I'd rather be dead then looked down upon by some other idiot who can do things I can't.", "response_post": "Heya buddy, i can relate, After 18 years of struggling I finally found out I have dyslexia, fine motor control issues and short term memory loss. It was like I had been designed to be the perfect malfunction so I cant do academics. I am different but I'd rather be dead then looked down upon by some other idiot who can do things I can't. I can do something better then they can, know how to go through hard times and keep pushing. When life gets hard for them they will break, and I won't be there to help them. Don't worry about other people, they will become dust while you will become a diamond. My question to you is, how are you going to move forward?", "rp_id": "dgs3c5o", "seeker_post": "It's so depressing to know that I have an ADHD. Do I really need to accept the fact that I am different among others? Should I be ashamed of myself?. the title says it all", "sp_id": "67p127" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "strong explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "Does you happiness rely on other people's behavior?", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "Does you happiness rely on other people's behavior?", "rp_id": "e833daa", "seeker_post": "why am i depressed?. why am i depressed? ​", "sp_id": "9pnz1i" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "not really, people just say it does, as they want you to stay alive because theyre selfish", "rp_id": "dhqeen1", "seeker_post": "Does it ever end?. Serious question, does depression ever go away? I've only been going through this for roughly 2 months but I don't know if I can do this for the rest of my life.", "sp_id": "6bxuz9" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "you just happen to be. get as much joy as you can.", "rp_id": "dquixf1", "seeker_post": "Why do I have to be Born in this shit life.. I didnt ask for it.", "sp_id": "7hwxrw" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "I'm struggling with this pretty badly too so I wish you the best.", "emotionalStrength": "weak emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "I can relate. Been a third wheel in many friendships, always feels like I'm someone people hang around instead of hang with. I even had a friend invite me over and told me he called everyone else first, but nobody was free, so guess it was time to call me.It hurts and depression makes it hurt x100. Gotta find a way to prove to yourself that you are worth spending time with.", "response_post": "I can relate. Been a third wheel in many friendships, always feels like I'm someone people hang around instead of hang with. I even had a friend invite me over and told me he called everyone else first, but nobody was free, so guess it was time to call me. I know he didn't mean it that way, but what a shitty thing to say. Everyone else more important than you was busy, so you (bottom of the list) will have to do. It hurts and depression makes it hurt x100. Gotta find a way to prove to yourself that you are worth spending time with. I'm struggling with this pretty badly too so I wish you the best.", "rp_id": "e0vihfa", "seeker_post": "I Have Friends, But They Always Care More About Others. like that one guy everybody calls when available. It sucks and feels bad, cause when I call one of them they give a shit.", "sp_id": "8rzetl" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "Right there with you today.. stay strong, got this.", "emotionalStrength": "weak emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "Right there with you today.. stay strong, got this.", "rp_id": "e2noi3p", "seeker_post": "days clean: 0. i was on a 2 month streak.", "sp_id": "904s42" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "I've been to the ER for atempt of suicide by oversosing on medication. Longest I was there was a few hours. Due to my mental state being stable they had no legal way to hold me loner than I wanted to be there. I got the drugs out of my system then was discharged and went home.", "response_post": "Depends what you mean by get caught. Someone would have to report it to police to move you anywhere or if you're under 18 parents can take you to a hospital. Basic detainment is 72 hours (3 days) To ensure you're not a harm to yourself or others. During that time they examine you and see your mental state. If at the end you're not showing signs of danger you are released but given options to stay for further treatment. If you are still a danger you stay and get more treatment. Now say you made an attempt and go to the ER for something, they can't always just detain you. I've been to the ER for atempt of suicide by oversosing on medication. Longest I was there was a few hours. Due to my mental state being stable they had no legal way to hold me loner than I wanted to be there. I got the drugs out of my system then was discharged and went home. There is a ton, a shit ton of misinformation and propaganda around mental illness. Be informed, do real research. isn't google. You are smart enough to do real research don't just ask strangers online for all the answers. Also get help.", "rp_id": "e7rtgm7", "seeker_post": "If I get caught will I end up in a psych ward?. I'm planning on killing myself and was wondering if i somehow survived,would i get put in a psych ward for the rest of my life?", "sp_id": "9o5997" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "One test will not ruin your life. I promise. :)", "emotionalStrength": "weak emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "Talk to your teacher. Sometimes they're willing to give extra credit if you do additional assignments or labs. Also, many teachers will at least pass a student if the student goes to them and shows that they're really making an effort in the class. One test will not ruin your life. I promise. :)", "rp_id": "dekpofh", "seeker_post": "Why am I so fucked up?. I just bombed my bio test and ruined my whole quarter. I went into the bathroom and purged my breakfast out. Now I'm crying in the bathroom floor in the school and Idk what the fuck to do next.", "sp_id": "5xtisn" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "strong explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "is this a neutral-positive perspective?", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "I feel like there might just be an in-between as well. Where someone might not care about you much but not mind being with you some/most of the time. Or is this a neutral-positive perspective?", "rp_id": "dqy7pzy", "seeker_post": "I feel like I’m an inconvenience or a nuisance to people, and I am not genuinely wanted.. And for that reason, this world would be better off without me. not suicidal, but if something were to completely accidentally kill me, then sure a lot of people would be relieved to be rid of this unwanted individual (me).", "sp_id": "7if1m2" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "weak explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "What's up?", "interpretationStrength": "weak interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "That's a familiar feeling.", "response_post": "That's a familiar feeling. Talk it out. What's up?", "rp_id": "dd9h494", "seeker_post": "I don't know anymore. I feel so empty that this is all I can explain", "sp_id": "5rr4wk" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "Believe me there is a friend out there who is willing to listen. I guess do keep in mind that not everyone has infinite patients and has their own problems. good luck out there man hope things go well for you.", "emotionalStrength": "weak emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "I once sat and chatted with a friend about his issues for some 7 odd hours hours just talking till 7am, never gave up on the conversation, he did the same for me a while later down the road when I was having problems.", "response_post": "Here is the thing. If you open up to these people and they through it in your face right after, then you know they aren't real friends. A real friend is willing to sit through peoples problems for hours. I once sat and chatted with a friend about his issues for some 7 odd hours hours just talking till 7am, never gave up on the conversation, he did the same for me a while later down the road when I was having problems. People who aren't willing to talk to you and help you aren't worth keeping around. Believe me there is a friend out there who is willing to listen. I guess do keep in mind that not everyone has infinite patients and has their own problems. good luck out there man hope things go well for you. (This isn't to say you can't have acquaintances, people you hang out with, but never get deep)", "rp_id": "dzfd8cg", "seeker_post": "How do you handle people that pray on your depression/anxiety?. Sadly, I have friends that pray on my depression/anxiety. There's always something to disagree with or some snide comment to make. How do you guys cope with this? It makes me really anxious, which just leads to anger.", "sp_id": "8lfufr" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "weak interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "Depression can really sap the life out of you and is really hard to communicate to someone who has not experienced it.", "response_post": "Or play video games or eat or smile or think coherent thoughts or think of reality as real. Depression can really sap the life out of you and is really hard to communicate to someone who has not experienced it.", "rp_id": "dy5nsnb", "seeker_post": "You ever so sad you can't even masturbate?. Because I feel this exact way, I'm just absolutely repulsed by anything to do with sex right now.", "sp_id": "8fpzr2" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "*hug* Whatever the situation is that's causing you to feel this way, please remember to exercise compassion towards yourself.", "emotionalStrength": "strong emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "*hug* Whatever the situation is that's causing you to feel this way, please remember to exercise compassion towards yourself.", "rp_id": "d1vi4c7", "seeker_post": "I need a hug. I fucked up so bad. Thinking about ending it for once and for all. I could really use a hug right now", "sp_id": "4dydd1" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "All day, every day. It's definitely not just you. <3", "emotionalStrength": "weak emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "weak interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "All day, every day. It's definitely not just you. <3", "response_post": "All day, every day. It's definitely not just you. &lt;3", "rp_id": "dz0kvhi", "seeker_post": "does anyone else keep forgetting stuff the need to do?. like I'm always forgetting things I need to do, like taking my medicine or even putting out the trash. it seems like my brain doesn't even care about anything anymore.", "sp_id": "8jltcy" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "no interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "None", "response_post": "like being stuck in a black hole. At times you just close your eyes and fall. Other times you open your eyes. Your eyes adjust to the darkness you realize your in a room and the door is only 3ft away it seems impossible to reach so you close your eyes and keep falling", "rp_id": "e3ok8c0", "seeker_post": "What does depression feel like?. Honest question what does depression feel like or is it different for everyone?", "sp_id": "94xc3o" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "strong explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "Do you write?", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "My life is not pleasant by any means so I created the life that I want in my writing. My life became better through writing.Mine is Typhon, the Greek dragon under the mountain. I obsess over this mad titan to keep myself calm. He shows up in all of my work.", "response_post": "I probably would have considered bringing harm to myself and others if not for writing. Do you write? I find it helpful to seal away any self-detrimental desires inside characters who are not me. If you purge all of your thoughts out of your head and onto the page, you might find some relief. Literature is one of the most important inventions for resolving issues and you may find purpose through writing for yourself. My life is not pleasant by any means so I created the life that I want in my writing. My life became better through writing. What ideas and notions could be lost if you left us so soon? What adventures could you go on in your own book? Think of all the memories that could be shared. You could even write about a role-model. Mine is Typhon, the Greek dragon under the mountain. I obsess over this mad titan to keep myself calm. He shows up in all of my work. My advice would be to pound that pain out into a character, a mighty simulacrum, an indestructible artifact to contain your every fear. I'm not sure if I'm phrasing this well enough to help, but this is the only way I know how to express myself.", "rp_id": "cykvlsj", "seeker_post": "I'm to scared to commit suicide.. All I can feel is pain. Nothing matters to me anymore and life is a miserable struggle. I don't want to live anymore but I can't bring my self to commit suicide. I'm scared of missing out on a potentially better life. Please help", "sp_id": "3zbq8e" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "People barely notice me too", "response_post": "People barely notice me too", "rp_id": "dbpqi2p", "seeker_post": "I just want to disappear but I don't want to hurt my family. All i ever am is in the background and I feel like I'm barely noticed in this world, I'm pretty sure if I just disappeared one day no one would notice or care, I'm bored of life, I'm tired of this endless cycle of depression, I don't think I can take much more. I just need to get that off my chest thank you", "sp_id": "5kpp98" }

{ "emotionalPortion": "None", "emotionalStrength": "no emotional reaction", "explorationStrength": "no explorational reaction", "explorationsPortion": "None", "interpretationStrength": "strong interpretational reaction", "interpretationsPortion": "I see what you meanI'm 26 with a decent job and live alone with no girlfriend. I tell myself that it's because I don't have a license due to a seizure disorder that I'm striking out with girls, which is probably true is some cases but I can't even see that girl being in one relationship for the rest of her life if she's picky like that.", "response_post": "I see what you mean, but imagine being 26, living at home with no job, absolutely no way to pay for school, and no girlfriend? I'm 26 with a decent job and live alone with no girlfriend. I tell myself that it's because I don't have a license due to a seizure disorder that I'm striking out with girls, which is probably true is some cases but I can't even see that girl being in one relationship for the rest of her life if she's picky like that.", "rp_id": "dqz05c5", "seeker_post": "26 year old male, living at home, low income job, in school (parents paying for it), want to get married to girlfriend who graduates with nursing degree in 5 months. I feel like a deadbeat", "sp_id": "7gqrti" }