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blog | blog_5_3 | Yesterday he kinda forgot half his piece....and today he bounced bac for a silver. Great recovery. And for some reason Fred and Christian were talking about......STAR TREK!? |
blog | blog_5_3 | Brian's Protoge....LOL hilarious. Jetta killed the little Jap Lawn Mower.....and we then stopped by at a Shopper's Drug Mart to buy some food and stuff for tonight....so did that....then back we went into Kendrick's Crayonmobile *it smells like crayons for some reason.* And off to Brian's. *Sigh* yeah tonight's the last meeting for JT and Ali. |
blog | blog_5_3 | Gotta sleep early for baddy conference tomorrow. Wish me Luck! Gavin managed to make it to WOSSAA for singles....Hope me and Mophead can do the same for doubles =). |
blog | blog_5_3 | If it's even on sale. MUST....GET.....SOUNDTRACK. Was so good....some of the songs werer crazy. The whole movie actually.....was crazy. |
blog | blog_5_3 | Good series matchups....though half the teams I wanted in never got in. Well Ottawa I wanted to win just to piss off the many Leafs fans in my area, but Canucks and Devils not making it in I really didn't think was cool. So yup....most of my evening has been spent napping, and watching the Leafs and Sens game that ended with the Leafs humiliating the Senators 4-1. Whoo. |
blog | blog_5_3 | Well after a quick 40 minutes or so with him teaching....it was lunch. Fastest civics class ever I think happened today =P. |
blog | blog_5_3 | Another SC player lol. Well didn't really get to talk a whole lot to him, but hope he comes around more often.....anyone's welcome in the house of God =P. Well he seemed to think it was alright at least. Too bad he couldn't stay for graduation lunch today. Which is where I'm leading to now. |
blog | blog_5_3 | My day's been pretty short, as my usual 6am wake-up call was shut off by me as I really don't wanna go to band when I got Kiwanis. I'd be dead tired by the time performance came. Also coming home and taking a nice one hour nap.....yeah my Wednesday has been lazy, short, and sweet =). |
blog | blog_5_3 | SHO STHUPAHD! And somewhat useless also...unless you're gonna be some engineer building stuff......er more of an architect. Programming did absolutely nothing. |
blog | blog_5_3 | well some but not as much. Now I go to Dragon Court to pick up dinner. And off to home.... Got home.....played some NFSU......sat around.......did some stuff......then dad came home. |
blog | blog_5_3 | So then we stopped at Angelo's....bought some food and then gave him a lift back home and I went home...ate then slept. *Three hours later* Here I am blogging once again...bleh today had its good times and its bad times. |
blog | blog_5_3 | We butchered it a lot with stupid acts like sinking our own boat, fighting each other and roadkilling one another. John was driving full steam into me with a jeep....I machine gunned him....eventually we both died lol. Head 2 Head I don't think will ever get boring.........may sound geeky but meh games can still be fun every once in a while =P. I'm not 40 just yet hehe. |
blog | blog_5_3 | We played the Gambolier song....and it sounded good, but apparently you don't win anything in that one. So all that effort...plus constructive criticism for nothing. So then a frustrated group of ninety some odd Centrallers packed their gear....then headed home. |
blog | blog_5_3 | So after service, we headed downstairs and just chilled for a bit. Some signed the journals that Connie and Mike are going to be getting, and the others would do that later. So we all just chiilled downstairs for a bit. Lots of talk about the Rockets vs. |
blog | blog_5_3 | Then came announcements. And in science.......MR. CURPHEY'S BACK! No more of some retired Saunders teacher called Mr. |
blog | blog_5_3 | And back here now..........on the comp.....studying...........looking around.......gonna eat soon......gonna practice Trombone soon......MSNing.......LIstening to music. Gotta still do Devos too. Wow I'm really stressed out right now. I just hope that HYPE prayers list got through to everyone too. |
blog | blog_5_3 | Hehe almost forgot about that government facility that over 5000 kids in London go to 5/7 days of the week. Why? Well simply because I barely went to school today lol. |
blog | blog_5_3 | I'm still deciding whether I should play senior band for the next 3 months left in the year. It'd be training for next year at least.......but should I? So many descisions to make...and yes this is why I have to pray. I dunno who else but God could really help me at this time. |
blog | blog_5_3 | Well didn't matter for me.....I kinda got used to the cold from walking home from bus stop. Well I ended up putting down an order for a Samsung 17"LCD....model's like 170 or something like that. YES ONLY A WEEK OF WAITING! |
blog | blog_5_3 | Ahhhhh........$6.35. MY MONEY! Lots of talk about last night's hockey, you know about the Leafs LOSING to the SENATORS and the Avalanche stealing a win from Dallas. |
blog | blog_5_3 | After running through Senior Band, Wind Ensemble *senior one* stayed back for a quick run through. I also stayed back to work on much needed to be worked on theory. yup......MUCH NEEDED WORK. |
blog | blog_5_3 | And now that I'm done that...........back to English class. Listened to some book reports. Read Romeo and Juliet. *ZZZZzzzZzzZZZZzzZZzz.* We are up to the part where Friar Lawrence plans to fake Juliet's death. Boring. |
blog | blog_5_3 | Unlike singles....ugh all the running.....defeats the purpose of badminton being my "lazy" sport. In the end though chatted w/ Marcello who came for ball, and saw Dan and Adam there also. Well I headed out early though, leaving around 6pm....got a lift from mom back home then....and proceeded with the rest of my day =). Got home....quickly downed some food....and then.....WATCH KILL BILL VOL. |
blog | blog_5_3 | So yup....here I am blogging about my day....complaining about the corruption of Kiwanis, and the fact that I flunked a bio test. All in all......not that bad of a day. On the bright side got to miss some school, see some friends at Kiwanis and play t-bone. Also I got to find a book I'm actually interested in =P. |
blog | blog_5_3 | Too much to explain....as I will do throughout this blog... SO CONTINUING FROM "Like I said..." |
blog | blog_5_3 | So after that long grueling class......of constant tacking of compy keys and *woam woam* of monitors.....SCHOOL'S OVER........well the government-required part. Final run through for Stage Band X as tonight we perform. So after practice.....bused home in REALLY heavy winds. |
blog | blog_5_3 | But somehow they managed a Silver still.....which was ridiculous. EVERYONE thought they shoulda got something like a Merit....or whatever's below it *coupons to Wal-Mart?* Oh yeah....also a gr. 11 student came in to play for us....run through before real thing hehe=P. |
blog | blog_5_3 | In the end I think JT and Brian killed me and Jason but we pulled off some pretty sweet stuff still lol. Ali had to leave early though.....but we all still managed to sign her journal and JT's before the day was at end. Kinda cool though with the whole journal thing....I want one now lol. |
blog | blog_5_3 | FINALLY a battle. The French lost so badly in the war that Ms. Manson didn't even bother talking about them really lol. |
blog | blog_5_3 | Rain Fall is getting to be a better and better book now....plus Fried Green Tomatoes is kinda picking up also. Reading's becoming a DECENT pastime now =P. |
blog | blog_5_3 | After that class.....DINNER! Went to buy pizza....and my 2nd cup of java for the day. Got a "roll up the rim to win" cup.....but lost. Grr.....stupid Timmy's not letting me win. |
blog | blog_5_3 | Central got gold....PLUS A TROPHY! Ahh yes....so Kiwanis now I've got a glimpse at every sort of make-believe Kiwanis earth metal there is. I've technically got 1 Gold, 4 Silvers, and 1 Bronze. This is including band stuff and my regular stuff. |
blog | blog_5_3 | And also picked up a job application form from City Hall for summer job. Thompson got the two forms also. |
blog | blog_5_3 | I guess office work is starting to look.....bland I guess. But it's cool too.....with the whole competition thing. |
blog | blog_5_3 | WHOA! And so far my average is 79.5. |
blog | blog_5_4 | Still, it was a great experience to get to know him personally as I feel we will be seeing each other quite often in the coming days. Having left his hotel around 8 pm, Sol and I decided to pamper ourselves at our favorite Chinese restaurant. While we were having an orgasm devouring our vegetable soups, rice with mixed vegetables, chicken slices with soy sauce and sipping our Chinese tea as post-climactic chill-out company, we were still going over the events of the day and the plans of tomorrow although we had initially agreed that the dinner would be "mission-free". I arrived home, deranged, at 9:30 pm but I was mentally so hyperactive that I did not go to sleep until 2 am. |
blog | blog_5_4 | Moreover, according to them, they also came up with "tons" of new templates to choose from which can be interpreted as we have "tens" of new templates. Better than nothing when compared to those 5 mundane, excruciatingly simple templates they had had previously. One great thing they implemented is the Permalink update which gives each entry its own archive page. Ever since I started blogging, my permalinks have never (ne-ver!) worked right and just when I gave up on ever having proper links to my previous posts, they decided to work things out for me. |
blog | blog_5_4 | It takes to be a (hu)man to even get close to the latter. It needs completion of self evolution even to the slightest degree. It needs usurping scary territory. It requires holding tighter as opposed to relinquinshing across the first instant your partner takes a misstep somewhere in the tango. It needs dynamics, a rhythm that takes up many a long nights and even longer days to synchronize. |
blog | blog_5_4 | She went over the papers that I had handed her once more before starting her questionnaire, "Your age?" "22", I responded uneasily. "Your degree of education?" "I am studying at Bayside University. Western Languages and Literatures." |
blog | blog_5_4 | before I finally break the tie... I get carried away... |
blog | blog_5_4 | Sol: Great! I really really need to see you. Aura: Is everything alright, Sol? Sol: Oh so many things have... |
blog | blog_5_4 | "Yes, uncle. Anything you want me to get for you on my way back?" |
blog | blog_5_4 | I can always hope. What else? |
blog | blog_5_4 | Taking it to my Cocoon, I started searching for a safe spot where it might have one last opportunity to recuperate. The side table? No.. It was too hazardous. |
blog | blog_5_4 | What am I gonna do? What do you do when you feel a chilling touch of wretchedness?... of helplessness? How do you cope with it?" To which I silently mused my questions back, "How do you escape into your own reality? |
blog | blog_5_4 | It demands acquintance; Conversance of a scent, a taste, a gaze, a nonsensual detail... It calls for endurance, flexibility and a lot of hit points. It needs to be a virtuoso of survival through horrid terrains. |
blog | blog_5_4 | I asked deliberately avoiding the word precious . "Is it naturally undiluted? Ideal for drinking...or mmm...daily facial cleaning?..." |
blog | blog_5_4 | And right here behind my eyes... ...you are. Hidden against everything worldly. |
blog | blog_5_4 | The last question's answer is specifically important because in all the projects I have been, compromise turned out to be a toilsome concept which is closely related to the underlying human belief, "It is impossible to make everyone happy". I choose to believe that it is possible to make everyone happy as long as everyone has the same destination. What is arduous is the "convincing" course and this course is the outcome of people who share your destination but are determined to choose their own path in reaching it. In this case, I choose to free them. |
blog | blog_5_4 | What I have been doing for the last 5 years is simply choosing the first option. Hence, neither my dad is nor I am "wrong"; None of us has the "fault". They were simply our choices be it consciously or unconsciously. |
blog | blog_5_4 | If only I could tell. To kiss this tempest some solace, End the Titans' reign for a new tomorrow, Be my God Through whom I experience I So that I'll be your Goddess Through which you experience you. But am I the Muse on your lips? If only I were. |
blog | blog_5_4 | Sol: Oh did I wake you up? Aura: Uh... no.. |
blog | blog_5_4 | So once we listened to all those who were willing, we remained seated, pens still tapping, heads still tilted, eyes still blank... the air was still with the anticipation of a beginning. Finally, Avarel said something like, "Let's start with our personal favorites" and bingo! three hours the rest of the evening. |
blog | blog_5_4 | Behind my closed eyelids, I hear your whispering touch... Your unconditional desire camouflaged by a cape of amative narrative... why do you soothe me when your presence, your warmth reigning over me is everything I can ever... |
blog | blog_5_4 | I want nothing but to curl in one corner and have a "summer sleep"! It seems writing will not do, either. Just a few thank yous and I'm done for today: Thank you for Vermond. |
blog | blog_5_4 | Now what can I do about it?" It is a roof that will house individuals who live to make a change in the world (and start doing it by changing themselves), who want to flourish and progress continuously throughout their Odyssey, who want to share their experiences and be supported in a closely-connected group family that is purely based on understanding and love regardless of religion, race, sexual orientation they belong. It is not a new religion! It is a totally new approach towards religion, rather... |
blog | blog_5_4 | That in this abysmal world of self-indulgent personalities including very much of his obsessive compulsive mother, I could understand him. More than once he yearned to die. He has cursed God continiously for letting him live in a hindered state. During his mania, he hates God with all his being, keeps swearing continiously and in a quite ridiculous manner at a creator he had never seen a favor from. |
blog | blog_5_4 | Personally, she will be the one I shall add to my little book of contactables. Of course, it was not easy to talk convincingly about a movement that was launched in this country only... |
blog | blog_5_4 | Get back to your sleep. See you then, bye! Aura: By(yawn)e... ~ Friday , Now. |
blog | blog_5_4 | I let you know who I was... then... you smiled. |
blog | blog_5_4 | That is even more interesting. I cannot recall claiming the impossibility of building a healthy relationship with my dad even once. |
blog | blog_5_4 | ... I laid down on the sofa and stared at the ceiling as waves and waves of memories ebbed and flowed above me. Death forgives reasoning not. You just have to accept and get used to it the way it is. Otherwise, you find your self in a vicious cycle made up of a string of the same question : "Why?" |
blog | blog_5_4 | looks like we'll be seeing a lot of each other from now on. Aura: Sorry.. |
blog | blog_5_4 | My eyes are burning with restlessness and visualizing myself in the middle of a group who are shoulder-deep in organizing N.D. Walsch's visit early this summer doesn't click at the moment. |
blog | blog_5_4 | Have I ever told you that my skin absorbs the scent of yours?.. that no matter how far away you may be, I carry you on my pores?... that whoever dares to touch me, they know the you in me?... the you on me? |
blog | blog_5_4 | Do you have a poem for me? If only you did. My lips run dry -- They cannot cry. |
blog | blog_5_4 | your being a powerful survivor in a man's world without casting your femininity aside... Although I have happened to look more like my dad in these years, I am delighted to be your reflection in the details instead of the overall appearance. I have your shoulders, your waistline, your expressions in my eyes. That is why whenever I look in the mirror, I can see you through my gaze... |
blog | blog_5_4 | Cardiology, I read as my stare hovered over people rushing in and out alongside nurses, doctors and medical students alike. Trees were as sparse as they could get and the heavy pedestrian traffic marked the abundance of people after health. I wondered how many were going to reclaim it and realized that even health was directly related to wealth in this "developing" country I was living in. If these people had the latter, they would probably have been showered with treatment opportunities without having to move a finger. |
blog | blog_5_4 | Moreover, I never claimed that it was "way too late" for trying after this point. On the contrary, I always stated that it was "never too late". However, the belief is there on my dad's part. |
blog | blog_5_4 | here to find out more and what you can do about it. There are so many things to be done. |
blog | blog_5_4 | All the effort, all the dreams, all the you-name-its went to trash thanks to arbitrary vaginal contractions. Beheaded, Ichoir slowly drowned and left us with a longing alongside a thousand memorable moments and lifelong friendships (as in Charon and Rain Man). |
blog | blog_5_4 | I had already seen other cockroaches brutally consuming their disabled kin. Those who could barely escape the spider's grab and weakened, fell prey to their very own species. |
blog | blog_5_4 | Karsh and I cannot thank enough for the marvelous work he has come up with. He is a great blogger who has been with me from the very beginning. My hearty thanks, Karsh. Keep doing wha... |
blog | blog_5_4 | I even think of cats and dogs and birds outside but alas this is not the time for disclosing those corners of myself that might arise sympathy. It has nothing to do with me. |
blog | blog_5_4 | the breeze returns... the female cries and closes around you... but your eyes remain flowing in me... ...for another moment, I linger... |
blog | blog_5_4 | You know this is really really urgent. Aura: *thinks she hears her munching something* Do we? Sol: Mmm... |
blog | blog_5_4 | Now and then, I happen to present a snapshot of a reflection of myself in real life out there. |
blog | blog_5_4 | I shrugged and gave it up, turning away to slip into my stillettos as Granny was going on with her argument, "If this dinner requires a spouse or daughter's accompany, you have one. Why not taking her?" I raised my head and traced a hand on a dark brown lock that fell on my cleavage, "It's alright, Granny." I said finally, "I best remain hidden and invisible to the world as always!" |
blog | blog_5_4 | your ability to say "no" to something that didn't fit you... your creativity... your courage to challenge the possibilities... your courage to produce possibilities when they are least expected... your positivity... |
blog | blog_5_4 | the protagonist of my play... the Star of my Nocturne... I hear your monologue finding me from behind the immensity of winds... It concludes with the question, "Better now?" |
blog | blog_5_4 | surrender for? Why are you with me when many a midnight garden await desperately for your water?... You reach for my nightmared, trembling form... wrap your arms around me... |
blog | blog_5_4 | Thus, I took a Kleenex and laid it on the bookshelf which was a less popular domain in this habitat they had created over more than a decade. Then I went outside, took a sugar cube, came back, placed it on the Kleenex and carefully set the cockroach on top of the cube. I had no prerequisite knowledge as to the regenerating abilities of these insects. |
blog | blog_5_4 | If they come out alright then the further step will be a tomography. The problem shifts from having a problem towards the vagueness of the diagnose process... |
blog | blog_5_4 | ...a stranger... ...piercing eyes open to meet me... not halting even for a heart beat... |
blog | blog_5_4 | and God and above all Life... ...Life which is the most precious gift we are presented with. |
blog | blog_5_4 | Years later, dad told me that while you were by his recuperating side in the hospital right after his by-pass, you had said, "I am too late for our child. We should save you because she will need you." Weeks after my father's leaving the hospital, my footsteps echoed in the hygienical corridors once more. |
blog | blog_5_4 | Timeline: Present This will come directly from inside, For I ran out of ornaments for vocabulary. I am walking on a deserted highway today. And a cushion of air, My feet -- They don't touch my ground. |
blog | blog_5_4 | My father reached forth and kept on uttering soothing statements. He had been there before. |
blog | blog_5_4 | He sighed and turned to my Granny, "Do you think I shouldn't go, aunt?" She crossed her legs and crossed her eyebrows, a posture she most probably had practiced to intensify the unpredictability of what might come out of her. "Yes." she said to my surprise, "Not without your daughter." He shook his head and put on his black, velvet jacket, the most formal looking piece of his "wardrobe" as I tilted my head, "You see..." |
blog | blog_5_4 | An errand to need you. A kaleidoscope to have but not to hold. |
blog | blog_5_4 | "Does your family know about your feelings?" Feelings, again. What did this have to do with feelings, I wondered. |
blog | blog_5_4 | The feedback was surprisingly positive. However, Avarel had been just married to a girl from Trinidad whom he had met on the net and our mother-in-law capriced her way skillfully into her husband's bed which led to him dropping the group right after our first "real" concert. |
blog | blog_5_4 | You were dying while dad was defeating death. Those last three months were emotionally, physically and mentally devastating for both of us. You were postponing your death and I was postponing my sadness, embodying a courage & strength cocktail too heavy for the 17 years on my shoulders. |
blog | blog_5_4 | She despises the immobility I am causing her to go through. Although the dominant Aura has left the stage behind for "good", she never will, that much I know. She is the adventurous Victoria's Secret model who travels to Rome for a shoot by the Trevi Fountain before catching the plane for New York Fashion Days. |
blog | blog_5_4 | I think I frowned slightly and sounded a little austere, "As long as I remember." She noted down again, "Have you ever been with a man?" "Excuse me?" |
blog | blog_5_4 | Actually, neither myself nor Sol are focused on our whereabouts in this budding organization. We two act like one and, as far as yesterday went, have realized that we make a purposeful, enthusiastic pair as we complement each other like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle (based on a friendship of almost 10 years), taking up where the other had left, perfectly. It seems our zeal is quite transmissible for all we met in a single day, ended up impressed by our motivation if not by the things we had stated. |
blog | blog_5_4 | Is it better in there, uncle? Is it better to let go and not fight?" He closed his eyes. I lowered my head and Granny sobbed dramatically. |
blog | blog_5_4 | If only you did. I stand on the wrong side of the sea, Bearing wrong side of Fate. If only I remembered how to swim. If only you waited for me on the shore. |
blog | blog_5_4 | to Night is your call against mine... essence neglects the roar of psyche... |
blog | blog_5_4 | that time was so near until we were physically apart until a later the whenebaouts of which was unknown to us... and that you were too late to protect me from what was coming. Hence, you feared for which my response was, "Do not". |