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I have a 26 year old daughter who can be kind of a bitch. I’m not trying to insult her because I know she got it from me but she isn’t the nicest person. I met my wife when my daughter, Ava, was 14 and her daughter, Riley, was 13. They hated each other and no amount of counseling or family bonding could fix it so we broke up for a while. We saw other people on and off but kept up the sexual component of the relationship. We both agreed that the girls came first until they were 18 and then they didn’t get a say in our relationship.
We got married when Riley left for college and they still hated each other but could suck it up for holiday dinners. Ava got married two years ago than extremely wealthy man. Riley has always been jealous of Ava but that was a tipping point. Ava lives a pretty amazing life now. She doesn’t have to work and they travel a lot. Ava has invited us on some trips or to events like concerts, high end restaurants, she got my wife Hamilton tickets during the big craze when they were hard to get.
The issue is she will not invite Riley anywhere. They are civil but that’s it. I asked her one time if she would consider including Riley and she said that person is not my family, do not bring it up again. Ava is pretty cold and standoffish and when she says something like that she means it. My wife wants me to push Ava harder to include Riley because Riley is having a difficult time right now and is extremely jealous. Ava is talking about a pretty amazing trip when the pandemic is over and she invited my wife and I but my wife asked me again to broach the topic of Riley to Ava. My wife thinks I’m an asshole but I think I’m respecting my daughter. ###### | NTA. Your daughter is a grown woman who doesn't get along with her adult step sister, and now people think your daughter's husband needs to subsidize someone she doesn't get along with, and someone who isn't her family and didn't grow up with her? The step daughter has no right to demand to be included by being negative. The onus is on her to make the married daughter like her enough that she wants to include her. ###### |
This happened a very long time ago but I've always wondered if I handled the situation correctly.
I am not close with my dad's family; mostly because my mom never liked them and guilt tripped my sister and I when we went with my Dad to visit them. My mom was being unfair, but that's not what this post is about. My dad has a younger brother who has always given off creepy vibes. I can't explain exactly, but I've never liked being around him.
When it came time to plan our wedding, I invited my dad's parents because it felt like the right thing to do. They declined, which is fine. But I had no intention of inviting creepy uncle because a) He is creepy and b) because I didn't want my mom to feel uncomfortable at her daughter's wedding. At the end of the day, I just didn't want him there. I guess I was too much of a wimp to tell my dad that I didn't want him there so every time my dad would bring it up to me, I'd make an excuse about keeping the guest list down, not enough seating, etc.
Imagine my surprise when I was walking down the aisle and there was creepy uncle sitting in a pew. I was surprised to say the least. Turns out my dad went behind my back and invited creepy uncle. I was livid and, I am not proud of this, as soon as we left the church I went up to my dad and told him since he was not contributing to my wedding an any way, he had no say so over who I invited or didn't invite.
Apparently, creepy uncle made his way over to the O Club where the reception was being held before my husband and I got there and my dad took him aside and told him he had to leave. I later found out that my dad was upset that he had to do that and that if he could do it again, he would have left with him.
AITA?
tl;dr My dad invited my creepy uncle to my wedding behind my back and was upset he had to ask him to leave the reception. ###### | NTA. your dad went behind your back and explicit requst to not invite creepy uncle. sorry your day was ruined, but the problem wasnt you getting angry at your dad.
you set your boundaries for your day and he ignored it. he should face the consequences.
edit: also sorry for your day being ruined :/ ###### |
My dad makes a lot of promises, but never keeps them and just says “I never said that” or something similar to go back on it. A little while ago, he told me that if I did the dishes I could have my Netflix permissions back (they took away everything above tv14) so I did, but he said he didn’t remember making that promise.
Every time before I do what he wants, I clarify in the clearest way possible what our deal is. So last night, he said that if I took the dogs for a walk I could stay up an extra hour to watch the rest of a movie I was watching. I agreed, but turned on the record option on my phone.
So the conversation was basically ‘So, if I take the dogs for a walk, I can stay up an extra hour and watch my movie?’ And he (annoyed) said ‘YES. I already said that didn’t I?!’. So I went for a walk, came back and he told me to go to bed. I told him what he said and he said 'I would never agree to that’ and told me to ‘stop lying’ so I showed him the video.
He let me stay up, but he got mad and said I ‘invaded his privacy’ and that ‘I had right to record him’. They now look through my phone and delete any photos or videos they don’t approve of. I don’t think I really did anything wrong, but the rest of my family says I should’ve just let it go and not made it a big deal. AITA for recording my dad?
EDIT: I love my family, and I really don’t think my dad is abusive. I think he is just bad at keeping his word. Thank you all for your support though. Anyways, I brung up possibly signing it on paper as many of you suggested, and he got annoyed that I brung it up again and walked away. I’ll talk to him again when he’s cooled off a bit more ###### | NTA. Your dad was just mad that he got called out by his kid ###### |
I am 36 year old male who married a wonderful 45 year old female last year. She has a 23 year old daughter from a previous marriage. I know she was an adult but she still lived at home while finishing college and I treated her as if she were my own. Problem is somehow, my daughter and my father 55 fell in love. Apparently my daughter has always liked older men and their ability to provide for her. She is a comedian and an aspiring YouTubed with a small following but it is growing. She has always wanted a man to be able to take care of her while she pursues her dreams and well... she chose my dad. They kept the relationship a secret and I found out about 3 months ago (pre all this crazy stuff) that they had run off to a chapel to have a secret wedding when my wife got a text from her daughter meant for her best friend asking to be a witness. I immediately went to go find this chapel and got there before the wedding had started and told my dad to stop this. He couldn’t marry my daughter, it was weird and then daughter would somehow be like a mother to me. He said that he was in love and while them getting married wasn’t up for discussion he did decide to postpone until I got used to the idea. I talked with my daughter and explained that it was a weird situation and she said that’s she agreed it was weird but she wanted a provider and he promised to provide for her. She said that she wouldn’t act like a mother to me at all but really wished that I would accept this. Idk it seems ridiculous to me, AITA for stopping the wedding?
Edit: for those confused she is legally my daughter, her father was terrible and left them when she was really young and she cut all contact. She asked me if I could be adopted as she hasn’t had a father in a really long time and likes me so yes, she is legally my daughter. We finished all the paperwork and got it signed and everything. ###### | NTA. Your dad wants to marry your daughter. That's fucked up lol you're definitely right in feeling the way you do. Your dad is horrible for even setting up that kind of scenario. ###### |
Okay, before you judge me please let me explain.
When I was 11(f for anyone wondering) my dad and I got into a fight. I truly don’t remember what it was about but most likely something dumb. I was a very sassy preteen and I will admit that but I still feel like his response was unwarranted.
In the heat of this argument he called me a “fucking cunt”. Again, I was 11. I started responding by saying that I was going to tell my mom and that she would be fucking pissed. He responded with,”who is she gonna believe? An 11 year old? Or her husband.”
And he was fucking right. Anytime I tried to bring it up he would gaslight me and to this day he still hasn’t apologized.
Around that same time he also told my mom,”there isn’t enough beer in the fridge to make you pretty.”
I hate him. I fucking hate him. He asked me the other day why we don’t have a good relationship and I just walked into my room and started crying.
TL;DR my dad called me a “fucking cunt” when I was 11, still mad about it
So reddit. Am I the asshole for holding an almost 9 year grudge? ###### | NTA. Your dad sounds like a real piece of work. My advice: show him this post. Tell him “this is why”. If he tries to fix it, good. If not, he has his answer ###### |
Okay so I made [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/gw4w78/aita_for_blocking_my_dads_number_refusing_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) in here earlier, my cousin - who idolizes my dad - found it, asked if it was mine, and so I admitted to it. Which then led to him calling me an asshole and bringing up the time I tweeted a pic as a joke that ended up going viral.
It was a college grad pic, with me holding up a sign that said, “thanks mom you made this possible 2019,” and I captioned the tweet to say “~controversial grad pics to throw shade at my married, welder dad who said if I ‘really needed to go to college’ my single mom could pay for it~” and it went viral and was seen by a million and a half people.
I posted it in November and my dad never said anything about it, but my cousin just told me he told my dad when it happened and he was upset. But also go read through the other post because I think that will give you a better idea about what kind of person my dad is. ###### | NTA. Your dad played a stupid game and he won a stupid prize. ###### |
I'm a teenager, in high school, and I just got a phone at the beginning of this year when my mom upgraded. She'd had the phone for several years, it's a 5s and in relatively good condition (no cracks, scratches, etc) but the battery drains ridiculously fast and, well, it's 7 years old. My siblings both got new phones for their first phones, but i guess my parents saw an opportunity and ran with it.
My dad said he'd get me a new phone at the end of the school year if I got good grades. Well, now that school's out, mine has decided that they're going to make all classes pass/fail. Hence they're not assigning letter grades, and he won't buy me a new phone. He mentioned it off handedly at dinner like "oh great i wont have to buy you a new phone for another year!!"
My grades were good before we were let out. It's not my fault school was cancelled and the grading system is this way now so why should i have to wait another year?
I don't want it to come off as me being spoiled but I'm honestly tired of having such an old phone and not being able to do some of the things my friends can do on theirs, like group FTs, or getting made fun of or asked if im poor, which is the dumbest shit because this is literally the bay area. so, wibta? ###### | NTA. Your dad is.
The way he responded, part of me thinks he was never gonna buy you a new phone.
Your phone may still run, but he knows it’s shitty and he made a promise and your school being closed is out of your control. If your grades were good before your school closed and he still refuses, he’s being an asshole. ###### |
I spent a couple hours painting my mom because she always tells me she wants some art of mine to keep, so I thought this would be really nice. I showed my dad and he got pretty mad at me. He suggested I go out and get her a real card. My mom's always been super sappy for my art so I figured it was perfect? I wrote a whole paragraph on the back saying how much she means to me. AITA for not getting her a real card? [Here's the picture](http://imgur.com/gallery/bQ0fTCf) ###### | NTA. Your Dad is THE asshole. It is beautiful and your mom will love it ###### |
I’m (22F USA) quite embarrassed of this situation and need help finding if I’m the asshole.
I quit my full-time job about a week ago because I am pursuing my bachelors degree and cannot balance my homework while also working more than 40 hours a week. The financial situation this has caused makes it so I can no longer afford groceries. My boyfriend also lives with me and he is being generous and still makes about 1,500 a month which almost covers everything so we are using my savings so we can keep our car and a roof over our head.
In a desperate need to get food, I started going to my local food bank. I told my dad over the phone and he called me an asshole claiming that if I was less lazy and did not quit my job I wouldn’t be stealing from the poor. Keep in mind my father works for a large corporation making hundreds of thousands a year and does not help me financially in any way since I was 18.
I am starting to feel like TA after that phone call, but my boyfriend keeps telling me he’s an ass. Reddit, AITA? ###### | NTA. Your dad is the asshole for knowing that you need to rely on food banks and yet won’t help you out at all. Fuck that guy. ###### |
I spent a couple hours painting my mom because she always tells me she wants some art of mine to keep, so I thought this would be really nice. I showed my dad and he got pretty mad at me. He suggested I go out and get her a real card. My mom's always been super sappy for my art so I figured it was perfect? I wrote a whole paragraph on the back saying how much she means to me. AITA for not getting her a real card? [Here's the picture](http://imgur.com/gallery/bQ0fTCf) ###### | NTA. Your dad is probably jealous. Give him a card on Father’s Day and when he asks why mom got the picture just say that by his reaction to the painting, you though he wouldn’t want one. ###### |
So my dad a weird habit of watching pervy videos from YouTube on his phone in front of us, especially while we're eating. They're usually compilations of girls in their underwear twerking or shaking their boobs. So I find this kind of innapropriate especially during family dinner and today I asked him to watch it privately next time instead of doing it in front of his daughter but he told me to fuck off. I asked him if he would be okay with me watching the same content in front of him and he said "yes you could watch literal porn and people making out for all I care". I told him are you sure?What if I do it right now? He said "go ahead I don't give a fuck" so I sat down and was watching a video of a gay couple kissing on the lips (no groping,no nudity, just two gay people kissing)
at which point he got angry, called me a piece of shit and stormed out of the room. ###### | NTA. your dad is kinda creepy though :/ ###### |
My dad doesn't realize his actions have killed his fatherly relationship with my brother, and Aidan (fake name) doesn't care enough to bother calling him out or if I do.
When Aidan was younger he did lots of weed in HS, then experimented with more crazy stuff his first few years in college a few times. Aidan is mildly autistic, diagnosed with ADHD in childhood and depression in high school, later also diagnosed with Bipolar. When Aidan turned 18, dad kicked Aidan out with no support and said "Good luck, kid".
Aidan still struggles but is close to getting his Master's in Math and CS, he's a hard worker and he lives on the straight and narrow, no substances or alcohol of any kind. He got into meditation as a way to improve his life, and started doing it twice a day. He applied and was accepted to a Vipassana meditation retreat for a week. Turns out a few days in Dad called them saying said Aidan had lied and had recently admitted to using hard drugs. He got kicked out because the teacher felt overwhelmed by the potential risk, despite Aidan having permission from his psychiatrist and therapist that he could be there.
Aidan told me that he hadn't used drugs recently, and he hadn't said any such thing to dad. I called dad about this and he told me that Aidan is a liar, he never stopped using, and it's sad that he'll end up failing in life but he was doing it to prevent Aidan from becoming unhinged from an intense retreat.
My dad used to be very close to both of us, then we left for college and he found a fiance, we see him once every few years, get calls every 2 months, but we aren't close, he's more like a great uncle or old family friend we see infrequently. I still care for him, and it leaves such a bad taste in my mouth to let things end like this. Am I a meddling busybody if I call him out on this and try to make him see the light? ###### | NTA. Your dad is actively trying to ruin your brothers life. How long is your dad planning on punishing your brother for his high school behavior. ###### |
My father and his family lost their home and had no place to live. He has a teenage son, my half brother, who is 15 and a known smoker. Because they had nowhere else to go, I offered them to stay at our other house we usually rent out to other people. The house is situated within our property, just next to our home.
Prior to my dad moving in, my mother and my sister moved in with us 6 months ago after my stepdad passed away.
We have many spare bedrooms in our home so them moving in wasn't a problem. .
This is where the conflict arises :
I don't charge rent from my mom. I don't let her cook. I cook for 5 people in our home (my husband, my mom, my toddler and my sister). It's just my way of looking out for my mom because that's what she did for me when I was young and struggling. She raised me as a single mother for years..
My dad has a problem with this because I am charging him and his wife the same rent I charge other tenants (it's a well furnished house). He thinks I'm playing favourites between parents because I don't charge my mom any money. He thinks he should pay less rent as compared to other tenants because I'm his daughter.
Apparently, he doesn't like to be reminded of the fact that he charged me rent the one time when I was very sick and had to move in with him and his wife when I was in college. I had a part time job, and struggled to pay my bills with my illness. I wasn't shown any consideration.
He also has a problem because my husband doesn't help him out with his groceries. He is older now, 71 and thinks we should be the one getting him his groceries. We don't think so, his wife is 50 and he has a young son. They can be the ones doing the grocery shopping if he's to fragile to move around.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Your Dad charged you rent. Your Dad is occupying space you’d otherwise earn income on, your Mom isn’t.
Anyway, even without the above points, you’re allowed to like your Mom more or to give her more support. ###### |
So this is kinda two AITAs but the first happened a month ago and I was confident I was in the right, I'm just double checking because the two events are connected.
I practice a martial art that has weight classes, so I monitor my weight all the time, except when I'm injured or for whatever reason not competing (Christmas, my wedding etc.) when I've got a competition coming up, I'll be eating very healthily and ill be strict with it, almost everyone knows this because, when you get frequent bruises/cuts/injuries, people tend to ask about them.
I was in the canteen in work a month ago, eating chicken, couscous and broccoli with one of my coworkers, who asked why I was eating healthily and I replied "well I'm pretty fat at the moment compared to normal, and I'm competing soon!" (it got cancelled of course).
Well another coworker (ella) overheard this and complained to HR that I was fatshaming, because if I called myself fat, I must think she's fat too (she is definitely overweight, but I've never said that to her, or anyone else).
Well HR suspended me for the rest of the day, "investigated" and then basically said that unless it was being sexual, I can say whatever I want about my own body. They also told me to be a little more sensitive and watch my wording around Ella.
I instead decided to just not speak to her at all. We work in the same department but all our work is independent so we have no reason to talk. Then yesterday, she complains to HR that I'm avoiding her and that I'm making it a "hostile work environment" and they again, suspended me halfway through the day pending investigation.
I have had two suspensions thanks to her and who knows what HR will say about this one, so AITA in either scenario? ###### | NTA. Your coworker is overly sensitive and needs to seek some form of help if she's going to take everything everyone says personal. Times are tough right now, but I'd also consider finding a new workplace once a suitable option presents itself as your workplace seems to have a policy of punishing first and investigating later. Also, your job can't require you to be friends with anyone. This girl sounds like a headache. ###### |
Hear me out... this happened yesterday. My (44F) cousin (32F) called me in a panic because she wants to call the police on her neighbor for abusing her children because "she left them outside in the heat and won't let them back indoors". Cousin states she saw the children playing and the younger boy (approx 10-11) was "too sweaty and red faced". She walked over and offered the kids a popsicle which they accepted, and then asked why they didn't go inside until the hottest part of the day was over (upper 90s with full sun). Kids told her that the mother was cleaning the house and told them to stay out until she was finished and locked the doors so they wouldn't bother her. Cousin, thinking this is just not okay, knocks on the neighbor's door to ask if this is, indeed, true. Neighbor explains that the boys have been told to stay outside until she finishes her cleaning, as they'd been arguing amongst themselves all morning and she (neighbor) needed "a few hours of quiet before lunch'. Neighbor also said she locked the door because they were constantly coming in and out, slamming the door each time. Neighbor told cousin that both boys were fed a hearty breakfast, and sent outside with snacks, and there is a fridge in the garage that holds cold drinks. Cousin said neighbor was "pretty rude" and then asked her to leave, which upset cousin even more. I asked cousin if the kids looked sick or had asked her for help. NO. Are they playing in the street? NO. Are they disrupting your work by being outside? NO. She feels the mother should be reported for locking her children out of their own house in the summer heat, and that neighbor was unjustly rude. I told my cousin she needed to mind her own business and that being made to play outdoors instead of sitting in front of a monitor or tv all day, was not abuse and I'd probably be rude to her, too. Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA. Your cousin needs to mind her own business. It used to be normal for kids to play outside all day every day in the summer. Your cousin is old enough to remember that, surely. It’s not like the kids were toddlers and they clearly had access to shade, snacks, and cold drinks.
ETA: The hottest part of day is closer 3pm than noon. ###### |
This happened about a year ago:
I'm female artist, and my niece (6yo) absolutely loves me. One time I let her come into my bedroom when she was visiting and I forgot about the tasteful nude I had pinned to the wall behind my door. It was of a middle-aged naked woman lounging. I created it in a figure drawing class.
My niece saw it and very innocently asked. "Why is she naked?"
I'd didn't think it was a big deal because I'm pretty desensitized to nudity, so I anwered very plainly.
*"oh yeah. That was a drawing I did. Most artists have to learn how draw naked people. Even if they're gonna wear clothes over top."*
She seemed amused by that.
Well a few weeks later my family all go to a free art musium near by. My niece and I break off and are walking around the rooms, and at one point my niece stops me at a few portraits. She has me lean in and not so quietly whispers. "did- did this artist draw these people naked too?"
I chuckle and say, "yeah, probably."
My niece chuckles with me.
At that point I hear a 'tsk' from a woman near me. I glance over and this older woman is glarring right at me. She speaks under her breath, *"That's disgusting..."* and walks away.
I felt really bad after that. Was it too soon for me to tell my niece that stuff about this aspect of art? ###### | NTA. Your conversation with your niece wasn’t the business of this random prudish asshole who felt it necessary to eavesdrop. ###### |
Hey!
So recently my biological dad reached out to me and explained that he is probbably going to die because of kidney falioure and he is at the bottom of the list.
Im 21 female.
I am really scared of doctors, let alone blood donation. So you can't even imagine how scared I really am to even think about this. Surgery is 10 times worse than anything else.
Recently my biological dad told me that I am probbably an approppriate donator. To me, he is just a regular stranger. I don't think I would be able to donate kidney even to my close family.
Results came back positive. I tought I won't be approppriate donator and went to test myself because my and his family were pressuring me to do so. I was wery scared. After results came back positive they told me how happy they were,... and I had a panic attack.
It was wery hard for me and I finally got the currage to tell them. They started trying to guilttrip me, saying that I will be sorry, that I will be responsible for murderer, that they will file a lawsuit,...
I really don't know what to do. So please tell me, AITA? ###### | NTA. Your choice is valid. You said you see this man as a stranger and you wouldn’t even be comfortable donating a kidney to your own close family— tbh, as much as it’s going to piss them off, I’d tell him just that.
Donating a kidney is major surgery, and you’d be well within your rights to say “no” to anyone.
I don’t know your whole life story but it’s pretty shady that he’s coming out of the woodwork when he needs your help. ###### |
My parents are both working and that leaves me in charge of my 3 younger brothers, its not that bad and my only responsibility is to basically make sure they don't burn down the house and make lunch and sometimes dinner. I was making this stew thing that was sitting in a crock pot close to all day. I made enough so that my parents could have some when they returned. I put the stew in a pot and put it on the dining table. My brother who is the oldest of the 3 is 11 and can dish them up cause I had to go back and finish my essay for school.
I finished the paper and when I was gonna go get a bowl cause I was hungry the older 2 were wrestling or something and accidentally knocked over the whole pot of stew. We have a dog so even if I could just eat the meat it had dog hair all over it. It was discouraging that all the work I put into it just for it to be knocked over cause they weren't aware of their surroundings. I think I maybe TA here: I said in a loud voice but I wasn't yelling "Are you 2 fucking serious? You guys are almost in middle school and still don't know your fucking surroundings? Come on you both KNOW better, get out of the kitchen you'll just make it worse." They had a face that just said that they think I'm crazy for getting mad at them and that they don't feel bad.
I thought it was all done and I was in my room when my mom came home. I guess my youngest brother (9yo) didn't like me cussing and told my mom. She took away my phone for 3 days cause cussing at my little brothers is a big no-no and that I could have just cleaned it up without being mean to them. AITA? ###### | NTA. Your brothers were fighting and being incredibly unaware of their surroundings. They needed to be more aware and responsible. Sure, you could've been a little less shouty, but after taking possibly hours making stew you have every right to be mad. Your mum should've put herself in your shoes and imagine how angry she'd have been if it were her stew. I mean, no phone for three days because you got angry with your siblings for knocking over your stew? Jeez. ###### |
Every night, my brother(16) calls his cousin and they play Call of Duty Mobile with 3 other family members. However, when he does this, he's loud as hell and ignores literally everything anyone tells him.
He yells into his mic on his earbuds and constantly is asking if the others can hear him. He also snaps at my other brother(14) and I(20) for being too loud when we're just having a normal conversation because we're butting in on his conversation.
Tonight, I finally had enough of his mess. I asked him to go in his room and play because he was too loud and his constant "can you still hear me?" every 3 minutes was annoying. He instantly got upset and pissy and told his group he was leaving. He then got after me, saying that the wifi isn't good in his room. I told him thats a lie because I get perfect wifi at the way back of our acre property. Then he decided that he didn't wanna be around me anymore, and stormed off to his room and scowled at me every time he left his room. ###### | NTA. Your brother is being an obnoxious brat. ###### |
So I (15f) was playing the sims today when my younger brother (8m) came into the room. Since it’s pride month in a few days I was looking at the pride flags that they have in sims to find one for my sim. My brother starts asking what these flags are so I explain to him about lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgenders and other sexualities and genders. I don’t go too deep into these things as he is young, but I feel like he deserves to understand a bit about these things. He starts naming characters in cartoons he watches that are LGBTQ and then sits talking about these things to me. Then my dad comes in and asks what we were talking about. I explain to him that I was talking to my brother about the LGBTQ community as he was asking what this flag was in a game I was playing. My dad then gets very mad and starts saying that he doesn’t want my brother knowing about these things. At this point I am confused as a few of his friends know about these things and I learnt about them from tv shows and books when I was 8. Later I tell my mom how I’m upset that I won’t be able to go to pride this year and my dad goes very quiet and decides to go outside to eat. After dinner he explains to me that these aren’t appropriate subjects at dinner and that if I mention them again he will take my phone away from me. AITA for explaining LGBTQ to my brother? ###### | NTA. Your brother asked about the flags and you tried to explain them in an age appropriate way. Lying to a child to 'protect' them from harmless things such as the LGBTQ community would be much much worse than simply answering his question. Chances are, he won't give it much thought going forward anyway - kids ask loads of questions, and he'd honestly have probably been even more curious about if if you'd have avoided the subject altogether. I'm not sure what else you could really have done ###### |
I’m getting married next year. My fiancé and I were chatting about the wedding, and he asked me who my bridesmaids are going to be. So I list them off, and he just stares at me. So I ask what’s the matter and he says “well what about L(his sister)?” And I told him that she wasn’t going to be one. He gets PISSED. And he’s like “well if so and so can be a bridesmaid then L should be too! She’s going to cause a scene if she’s not one!”
Let me give you guys some background. I met this girl maybe a month after my fiancé and I started dating. She’s studying to be a cosmetologist so I was being friendly and offered to let her do my hair and she was so excited. And so she and I are sitting in a room and she’s doing my hair and she goes “it’s crazy that you guys have been together for a month, because there’s been like 10 other girls that come to the house at night, so I figured you guys weren’t serious”. So I’m thinking this girl has no reason to lie to me, and I’m cool with his brother so I ask him. He says that it’s not true and L will lie about anything to stir up some drama. Since that night that girl has lied to me about stuff from crazy nights she’s had to being the one who found my dead cousin (yeah, she’s kinda horrible). But not only is she a liar, but a theif! She steals my stuff all the time and claims that she just found it, which my fiancé believes. And the biggest thing, is she puts me down at every opportunity. She tells me that I look stupid in my new clothes or my haircut is ugly, or my makeup is shitty. Just constantly putting me down. And that’s not the energy I want around me on my big day!
I love her to death bc at the end of the day she’s my sister now. But I don’t trust her, and I don’t like her. But my fiancé is furious that his cousins can be bridesmaids but not his sister. AITA? ###### | NTA. Your bridesmaids are for your support, not his. He can ask her to be a groomswoman if he wants her in the wedding that badly.
Also, you don’t have to like or love her just because she’s family. Toxic is toxic regardless of someone’s relation to you. You don’t owe her anything just because you’re marrying her brother. ###### |
So today, I got in the car from work, and brought with me, some cotton candy grapes. I offer my fiancé to try one and he refuses. He seems bothered and he said he’s nauseous because of the smell of the grapes, and my grape breath. He says they smell gross and that he can’t handle the smell.
He never eats fruits or vegetables. He won’t eat the onions in French onion soup, the carrots and peas in stir fry, he’ll pick the onions and pickles off of his burgers, he purposely avoids food with diced tomatoes, he picked off all the green onions off of orange chicken I made....don’t even go into tomatoes. He hates pineapples, strawberries, lychees, bananas, mangos, peaches, plums...
He won’t even try fruits or vegetables. He’s never had broccoli, asparagus, kale, cabbage etc etc. Adding insult to injury he now weighs 323 lbs and is 5’11”. Were both 19. I’m chubby but god damned at least I eat some plants.
He kisses me again after the flavor is out of my mouth, and says sorry he can’t handle fruits or vegetables.
AITA for eating grapes around my fiancé? ###### | NTA. Your boyfriend sounds like he might need medical help. ###### |
I’ve had my cat Morwen (bonus points if u know where her name is from) for about 6 years and have been dating my boyfriend for a year. Recently we’ve been talking about moving in together, since his lease is up in May and we’ve been together a while, but if we moved into my apartment he would be moving an hour away and transferring locations for work. When we got together I told him I had a cat, and he said he didn’t like cats but since then whenever he’s over he pets her and will even bring her toys and treats and he cuddles her and calls her into sleep with us when he sleeps over. I assumed he liked her and we never discussed her leaving.
A few days ago while talking about him moving in he asked what I was gonna do with Morwen and I asked him what he meant and he said “Well if I’m moving in we’re not having a cat. I told you I don’t like them.” I told him I wasn’t rehoming Morwen and he said “If you want to move in with you we all have to make sacrifices. I’m transferring jobs and moving an hour away.”
I told him I wasn’t willing to rehome my cat and it wasnt up for discussion and he essentially told me then we weren’t moving in together and that he couldn’t believe I would choose a cat over him and hung up.
My roommates boyfriend offered to take her for me but I’m just not willing to give up my cat that I had long before I started dating him.
AITA for choosing my cat over my boyfriend?
Edit: cat tax https://imgur.com/gallery/qzlDmzi
Edit #2: Morwen is a character in Skyrim.
Edit #3: https://imgur.com/gallery/H2LiKZl -chirpy meows ###### | NTA. Your boyfriend is treating your cat as if it was a fucking lamp or something. Not moving in with him will probably turn out to be one of the best decisions you can make. ###### |
Throwaway account because he'd likely see it if i posted with my main acc.
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some context- I've been doing freelance art for years and usually I charge, say, $90 per character in a piece or more depending on other stuff. My bf didn't know I drew when we started dating and didn't seem to care all that much EXCEPT occasionally when i'd draw his night elf character for him, mostly just small pics or chibis/cute stuff
But now that i'm getting a tonne more commissions (yay corona?) he's been getting insistent about me drawing for him, even mad when he sees my twitter DMs with comission requests and often snidely makes remarks about how busy i'll be in the coming days and such with "drawing stuff for OTHER people". I caved at first and drew him a few pics, practically bypassing my commission queue (the order in which I work on clients art) to get his done first so he wouldn't be mad, but he keeps asking for more, which would really mess up my income and probably piss off my clients cuz they would have to wait longer for theirs. one of our mutual friends suggested he pay like my other commissioners and he laughed at the suggestion. I never NEVER draw for free usually because i know if one person gets free comms then ten more will show up asking.
This all came to a head earlier this week when i snapped and told him to -in not so nice words- to shove it and now he;s extremely pissed. I don't play wow and never have so, but he has since early teens so I know the character has emotional significance to him, but i'd really just rather work on my other commissions and pay the bills, am I the asshole here? ###### | NTA. Your boyfriend is not entitled to free art. You have already been extremely generous with him.
If he wants more art he can pay, and wait in the commission line like everybody else. ###### |
(TW: miscarriage) This is my third pregnancy. Multiples run very strongly in my family so I always knew there was the potential for more than one. I was shocked though when my first ultrasound revealed triplets. I wasn’t exactly thrilled as this was to be our last baby and I was going for three kids not five but I came around to the idea. However at the next ultrasound we lost two of the three triplets. Neither my SO or I were really that sad. We still had one baby, it was still very early and we both know if you miscarry there is a reason those babies were not compatible with life so we kinda just moved on. However when it came up with different family members and friends they are absolutely appalled that we are not spiraling into depression. They think it is so weird and AHish that we “don’t care”. We just figured it’s how it was meant to be and there’s nothing we could have done anyways. So AITA? ###### | NTA. Your body, your kids/group of cells (idk how far along the pregnancy was). They should be happy that you or your husband need therapy and are depressed. As long as you are happy then that’s all that matters. ###### |
I haven't left the house in almost 3 weeks, I HATE shaving. It is probably my biggest pet peeve cause whenever I shave I have stuble literally the next day and it pisses me off. Since my mom and dad have forced me to stay and I'm forbidden from leaving I don't see a need to shave. Its been 3 weeks since I've even touched my razor. I don't grow hair fully on my cheeks but I have a full on beard at this point, it looks ugly as shit and its unkept. I do wash it in the shower with shampoo and stuff so it doesn't smell just looks ugly.
My sister recently asked me to shave cause it looks hideous. I told her I'm not shaving till I have to go out, and that I hate shaving. She said that she hates looking at it and I basically told her tough luck. AITA? ###### | NTA. Your body, your choice. Your comfort is more important than her perception of your ugliness. ###### |
I hate getting touched, and especially when I’ve already told them I hate getting touched without my permission. I only let few people touch me, and I even get annoyed with family members touching me. My grandmother constantly touches my waist and I hate it, I already told her to not touch me. Yet she did it again, I got really mad, and she got really mad and upset. Now I have to apologize. She did it so many times at the most annoying times, and I can’t stand her bullshit. ###### | NTA. Your body & you choose who touches it.
The people forcing you to apologize are AH. So is Grandma for not listening to her granddaughter. ###### |
Before Christmas I fell and broke my hip, nothing extreme becsuse I'm young but still had to have a surgery and till February I only moved to perfom rehabilitative exercises. Then pandemic happened and I wasn't able to do anything. Which made me grumpy as I'm used to at least walk a lot. Finally, 2 months ago I was allowed to start slow pilates sessions and also yoga. I don't think I gained that much weight but definitely lost some definition abs-wise as I'd been used to work out frequently. Frankly I was scared shitless of gaining weight as I had an eating disorder when I was younger and occasionally I get either concerned about my weight or concerned about being concerned about my weight. Surprisingly I'm almost proud of myself because not only I managed to get my ol' good bone moving again, but I also didn't have problems with having a bit of tummy. That was until my bf started to joke about me being a bit fluffy. He knows about my past problems with food so I assumed it was a weird slip-on. Then he did it again and again and again. Telling me I wouldn't fit into my slacks after eating an ice-cream. Or that I looked like I was preggars. Initally I told him my trousers size hadn't changed and he should google pregnant women to see how they looked like. He shrugged it off as a joke, so did I till I found myself doing some weird things I did when I was ill (playing with food instead of eating, trying to count calories, watching myself in mirror etc.) and hadn't done them for 3 years, at least. So next time he made another 'quip' I got angry and asked him to never comment on my body again even if I gained weight and had an arse of a horse he should be happy I was able to walk. He told me to calm down and that he wasn't aware "I lost my sense of humour back on the operating table". I'm now confused af, don't know whether I was being a jerk back then or it was all 'real' I even start to think about apologising. ###### | NTA. Your bf on the other hand is a huge, gaping one. ###### |
AITA: Last night my boyfriend took it upon himself to let our friend group hanging out in discord know that I really don't send him nudes. (I've been through a lot and have ptsd, and I don't trust technology. He knows I'm uncomfortable with sending nude pictures of myself and we see each other on a decently regular basis.) Our friends then proceeded to make fun of me for it which I expected since that's just our friend group. It still really hurt though. I went to talk to my boyfriend about it, and he said that most of my problem should be with our friends and not him. The problem is I struggle to trust people and I'm uncomfortable with my body and in that instant it felt like he just didn't respect me. Am I the asshole for being upset more with him and not our friends? ###### | NTA. Your bf is trying to publicly shame you in order to get you to do something you are not comfortable with. You are 100% justified in not sending nudes if you don't want to. Your body, your choice.
He's also showing that if you *were* to send nudes, he likely won't keep his mouth shut about that either. ###### |
My husband and I are currently expecting a baby in November. I have 3 other children from a previous marriage. My husband is off work on Monday, Thursday and Friday and I’m off on the weekend so we only need a sitter for Tuesday and Wednesday while we both work.
My grandmother who raised me has always taken care of my 3 children while I work and they usually keep them one or two nights a week since they like to spend time with then kids.
My husband and I have been talking about where the baby will go while we are at work and I would rather my grandmother watch them. Or even his father would be fine to watch the baby when he wasn’t working. His dad owns a painting business so he usually makes his own hours.
Now my husbands mother wants to keep the baby and I do not want her to watch it. She’s a nice person but, she has major health problems. She has had several strokes, uses a walker, has hearing aids, has a pace maker and is on 30 different medications. Yes, 30.
My husband has to do her medication everyday because she will over take her medicine which she does a lot. She’s been hospitalized several times for “over medicating”
She just doesn’t seem capable enough to care for a young child. My husband said that she wouldn’t watch it, alone. Meaning her mother would be there as well. Now that would be all fine and good if my husbands grandmother didn’t call my husband everytime my mother in law over medicates and he has to leave to go pick his mom up and take her to the hospital and if the baby was there at that time then I would have to leave work too so I could pick the baby up.
It would just make more sense for the baby to go to my grandmothers house. WIBTA for telling her and my husband that she can’t babysit the baby? ###### | NTA. Your baby’s safety is more important than MIL’s need to watch him. She may be hurt but it just doesn’t seem safe to let her watch the baby.
Plus her lack of responsibility with her medication is even more concerning, especially as the baby gets older, mobile, and into toddlerhood ###### |
So this is going to be pretty short and simple.
As me and my partner have been starting to plan out the birth of our child I told him I want the two of us to have some time to just bond with the baby. As I have been looking up the rules due to COVID we realised this wouldn’t be a problem. I am allowed one birthing partner which will be my partner, and he is the only one allowed to visit following the rules.
At first my mum tried to insist that she would be there but quickly agreed that if I wanted my partner then that was fine. However the other day I mentioned that because of COVID we won’t be allowed visits either. She kept saying that she didn’t care and she would still be there and would wait outside to meet the baby if she isn’t allowed in. I get that she’s excited but this felt a little too far for me, as if she was expecting me to give birth and instantly go outside so she could meet her grandchild.
I love my mum to bits but this is kind of pushing me towards not telling her when I go into labour and only telling her when my baby is born (she’ll have about an hour and a half drive to get there anyway) just so I can postpone a little bit of stress. I want her to meet the baby as soon as she can, but I don’t want to be giving birth feeling stressed about it.
Will I be the asshole if I don’t tell her when I go into labour? ###### | NTA. Your baby, your rules. Also, the hospital is likely not going to let her in or let you out or let you two interact AT ALL for safety with the virus. She should stay put until you get home and invite her over. Call the hospital and ask to be sure, and then tell her what they say. ###### |
Earlier today, my aunt and her young (seven year old) daughter came to visit to celebrate my father's birthday, with masks and gloves and all that, and I was wearing a short sleeves shirt because it was hot out. My scars are incredibly noticeable, so I wasn't really surprised when my aunt came to me and demanded that I put on a long sleeves shirt because it was making her uncomfortable and she didn't want her daughter seeing that.
I apologized but said it was too hot for long sleeves, plus that her daughter wasn't even paying attention to me. My aunt then said that I should be "ashamed" of myself for allowing her daughter to see such a thing.
I didn't want to argue so I just walked away at that point. My aunt and her kid left not long afterwards but called my mom to complain about it. Neither of my parents blame me for it and say that she shouldn't have said what she did, but I'm curious as to whether or not she was in the wrong or if I should have just sucked it up. ###### | NTA. Your aunt is gross. You are allowed to have your arms and scars out, because what matters here is *your* comfort. All your aunt is going to do is teach her child to be as prejudiced as she is. This could have been a good teaching moment about tolerance (or whatever the word is) IMO. ###### |
AITA (F 26) for asking my husband (M 26) to contribute more to our savings?
He pays most of our bills, excluding some household finances and my debts (student loans, credit card, and my car). I pay for most groceries, our furniture that we financed, and the pet bills (disabled dog).
He makes roughly $4800 a month. I make $1800. I contribute about $600 a month to the savings because he pays for most of the bills. The past few months, he has taken from our savings to party with friends (one got out of the military) and he said he would replace it. He’s taken out $400 and not put anything in since February.
I asked him if he could contribute anything to our savings this month and he said no. He told me that after bills, he only gets $800 in disposable income and that’s not a lot for him. He’s now mad at me because I told him it feels one sided lately and that I feel like I’m the only one contributing and trying to save. Keep in mind, almost all my disposable income goes to our savings. AITA for getting upset?
Edit: we each pay bills according to our income. Half of his income and half of mine go to bills. Realistically, he should have more than $800 a month in disposable income. But that’s the number he likes to bring up. ###### | NTA. Your accounts are set up wrong. Each of you has an individual account for "fun" money. Then a shared account for shared expenses such as groceries, furniture, bills, savings, etc. Work out how much your expenses are, then savings, then "fun" money. There has to be a limit to "fun" money or you get lifestyle creep and it blows your budget. The rule should be to **never** take money out of savings or shared account without consulting the other, and only for emergencies. If your husband "borrowed" $400, the first thing he should have done with his next paycheck is put that $400 back in.
Edit: I saw in a lower post how you gave up your high-paying job to advance his career. You should both get the same amount of "fun" money, regardless of how much you guys make now. ###### |
It's not a big deal at all and it has been resolved since but it left me unsure if I'm in the wrong.
My girlfriend and I both had our own Spotify premium accounts to begin with, but at one point she decided she didn't want to pay for it anymore, even though she listens to music a lot.
I felt bad for her, as free Spotify has these annoying ads every so many songs.
Therefore, I gave her the login to my account, under the condition that she listens offline when I'm also using it. You can't have two people online on the same Spotify Premium account, unless you buy the family package (which I didn't have).
Now today she started saying how I should just go offline whenever she's listening, too.
By going offline though, I can't go on social media either while listening to music, as you have to turn both your wifi and data off for Spotify to see you as 'offline'. My gf on the other hand also has an iPad that she could just use to listen to music offline on while still using her phone.
So, I told her no. I'm not going to have the discomfort of not being able to use my phone for other stuff while listening to music on my account that I pay for.
Am I the asshole for that? ###### | NTA. Your account, your rules. Either she can open her own account or chip in on a family account you both share. ###### |
My neighbors have always been pretty rude since they moved in a few years ago. But the last year and a half have been hell.
They have:
-called CPS on me on an anonymous report saying that I do crack and lock my daughter in a closet. Disgusting lies, I've never even done crack or anything like that, and I would never do that to my kids.
-called the cops on us a few months ago saying we were "arguing loudly" when we had a few friends over for backyard camping. Argument never happened, and we had all been sleeping in our tents except for me, who couldn't sleep.
-called the cops on is for a small firepit my foance and kids were roasting marshmallows(was legal but too many stones were missing after their kids were caught messing with it)
-screamed profanities at their kids loud enough where we can hear it in detail.
Their kids(4f, 11f, 12m, 14m) used to play regularly with my kids(5f, 10m) but the older girl and the boys would bully my 5yo to the point my 10yo stood up for her and then cried to me that he was put in that position to where he felt he lost friends. (There were a few more incidents, like when I caught them knocking over my fire pit, but nothing big. The kids were usually nice.)
I told my kids they can't play with the neighbors anymore, and my son is sad but understands but my daughter is furious, because she says the 4yo neighbor is her best friend. It makes me so sad, because the little girl did nothing wrong, but the rest of the family are toxic, especially the parents. AITA? ###### | NTA. Your 5yo is right to be upset in losing a friend, but when it comes to this family you’re better off seeking out a lawyer in the hopes of pursuing a defamation lawsuit against them. ###### |
FYI, I come from northern India, and do not look like the stereotypical Indian in western media. Indians come in all shapes and sizes. My friend is presumed to be chinese but he is from North East India!
About two months ago, I stopped a couple of people from sexually harassing a woman on my way to get groceries and walked her home. No big deal, it's the least I could do. Said woman found me attractive and asked me out for netflix and chill since we live in the same dorm. I found her attractive, I said yes.
Relationship was going really smoothly for the most part, we even said I love you to each other. She randomly asks me where my accent is from, and I tell her it's kind of a mixture because I grew up in India but went to summer school in Chile. She looks at me and tells me she is kind of shocked because I didn't 'look' Indian. Then she asks me if I am hiding any creepy behavior from her. At first I thought she was joking, but turns out she was pretty serious. I tell her she has no reason to doubt me, and I am also kind of hurt since she knows that I was willing to risk my life for her the first time she met, and now she is doubting me inspite of all the experiences we have had because I am Indian.
I decide to not bring up the matter again but I came to know that she dmed 2 of my close female friends, and asked them if I ever showed any problematic behavior, and they obviously seemed very confused by the whole thing. She REPEATEDLY asked them to recollect any instance, which was alarming to me. So I confronted her about it through text, and told her she was being incredibly shallow and hurtful.
I am genuinely confused by the whole thing. I really cannot see where she is coming from, so I thought asking you guys might help.
Have a wonderful day and stay strong through the virus. I am good at math, feel free to pm me your high school calc questions(only half joking) ###### | NTA. Your “girlfriend” was incredibly out of line. I don’t see why she would behave this way (other than being racist) after two months of dating each other. There are a lot of memes/jokes about Indian men being creepy or inappropriate towards women, but obviously that’s not the majority of the population.
Does your girlfriend not see her problematic behavior?! ###### |
I’ll try to keep this as short as possible. I (38m) was about to get into the shower, but my wife (39f) told me that she was going to pick up groceries and was going to be 15 minutes. And she asked if I could shower the kids (5f, 3m) while she was gone. I said okay.
I didn’t want to shower my kids and then go into the shower myself because that seemed like a huge waste of water, and my wife showers with the kids very often, so I figured I would take them into the shower with me. I washed them and then myself, we dried off and I wrapped a towel around my waist. My daughter went to go get dressed and I went to get my son dressed.
My wife came home at this point and she came upstairs. She saw me with wet hair and my son too. She asked, “Did you shower daughter?” I told her yes. She said “That’s so fudged up!” (She didn’t want to swear in front of my son). I asked why and she said because she is a girl. I told her that our son showers with her and he’s a boy. She said that it’s different and asked that I wouldn’t shower with our daughter again. I said I wouldn’t but I was still confused. So AITA? ###### | NTA. You’ve done nothing wrong. She is sexualising the situation which is really fudged up on her part. ###### |
I am (22F), he is (23) and we’ve been dating for 6 months. Quite a short story.
I’m a university student and work part time. I earn a decent amount but it’s not a shit ton so I don’t exactly have thousands in savings but I’m trying to save as much as I can just for my future. I don’t even tell my mother what I save because quite frankly it’s not a lot and that’s insanely personal info.
Idk how it came up but my boyfriend has been talking a lot about savings and has started demanding to know how much I have. I told him that it’s really none of his business as it’s my money and that you can’t just ask people how much money they have.
Well, I’ve pissed him off. He has called me a bitch and says that I don’t trust him and he’s rethinking our future. Idk if I am an AH and should just apologise.
Edit; idk if it’s relevant but I’ve mentioned some of his recent behaviour in comments. He has started telling me who I can and can’t hang out with, he accused me of cheating when I went to see my brother for the first tine in months due to him having health issues. He is also messaging me a lot and he’s taking up a lot of my time. He is getting insanely protective over me and doesn’t even like it when I try to do my own thing.
Edit 2: Um okay he’s turned up at my dads house ranting and raving calling me a bitch and a whore and he appears to be armed with something. I think a lot of you are right. My dad isn’t home right now and I’m really scared.
Edit 3: my dad came home thank god and we’re waiting for the police to come
Edit 4; the police have just come and he’s been arrested!
Edit 5; I now realise I was being abused thanks to you all and mostly my dad who is currently having a long talk to me about my relationship and how I wasn’t to blame for anything ###### | NTA. You’ve been dating for 6 months. You’re not tied in any way financially and your bf is a gigantic Ah. It sounds like he wants to control your money or at least parr’s of you. I’d seriously consider dumping his ass if this is how he’s acting. ###### |
Last night, my (33M) 2 step-children (aged 10 and 11) were watching some funny YouTube videos on TV and since my wife (37F) was already watching, I decided to join in as well.
A clip played where a man was trying to jump from one parking pole to another. He lost his footing and landed right on his crown jewels on one of them. My step-children were laughing and I admit, it was pretty funny.
I joked "Well, he's not gonna be having children anytime soon." My 11 year old asked what I meant and I was about to explain before my wife interrupted and changed the topic smoothly.
Later that evening when the kids were asleep and it was only us two, she berated me for making inappropriate jokes like that in front of children. I mentioned that normally kids their age would be beginning to learn about these sort of things and there was nothing bad in doing so anyway.
She got mad and said that that's not how she wants to raise HER kids (strong emphasis on her) and I shouldn't even begin informing them by joking about it. I got quite angry at what she had said and I reminded her that they're MY children as well and she can't just exclude me out like that.
It went back and forth like that which led to a big, nasty argument (we exchanged a few VERY NASTY words) that ended up with her crying and me feeling like a total asshole at the end of it. I tried to apologise by making her breakfast in bed but she just completely ignored me and continued to sleep, which makes me feel even more bad.
We haven't spoken to each other since. AITA? ###### | NTA. You’re raising them together. They’re *your* kids. Not just hers anymore. She can’t pull that card anytime you do something she doesn’t agree with.
And it may just be me, but 11 years old is an appropriate age to begin learning about sex ed. How long does she want to wait? Does she realize there are 10 and 11 year olds today that get pregnant? ###### |
I was jogging on a trail next to a somewhat busy public street when I saw a young girl crying on a bench. I figured it was best to avoid, but on the way back home, she was still on the same bench, crying. She was about 15. I asked her if she was OK. She said no. I asked if she wanted to talk about it, and she said yes. So, I sat on the bench next to her.
We talked for ~30 minutes. She was running away from home because she was tired of her parents telling her she wasn't allowed to hang out with her friends, or something like that. I don't really remember, but it wasn't anything that sounded dangerous or abusive. I used to teach high school, so I'd heard similar complaints before. At the end, she decided to go back home. I walked her home, which turned out to be surprisingly far, like 4 miles. I dropped her off and walked home.
At some point, she may have put her head on my shoulder while crying. I don't remember if she did, but let's assume so. I didn't touch her, hug her, put an arm around her, etc. I do remember that much.
My girlfriend says that I shouldn't have let her do that. She believes that, as I am a 30+ year old man, allowing a teenage girl that I didn't know to cry on my shoulder can be seen as creepy and molest-y, and it's unacceptable. She says that she knows my intentions were innocent, but I still shouldn't have allowed it. According to her, I shouldn't have even been close enough for the girl to put her head on my shoulder to begin with. AITA? ###### | NTA. You’re not the asshole in any way here. You listened to the girl out of nothing but good intent and made the 4 mile trek back to her house to return her safely to her family. It’s not safe for a girl of that age to be running around on her own, so it’s good that you were there for her instead of someone who might have been there to harm or take advantage of her.
I understand where your gf is coming from, but this doesn’t make her right. Unfortunately, with the way the world is, people might view an older male approaching a young girl as predatory. They might get mad and throw accusations and make you out to be the bad guy when, in reality, you were only trying to help. Your girlfriend is in the wrong here because you did a good thing and she’s looking at the negative side of things. But she could just be saying that out of fear that someone may have retaliated badly, as does happen in some cases.
Regardless, OP, you did the right thing. Thank you for making sure she was safe. ###### |
I just moved to my current apartment about six months ago. It comes with its own covered parking behind the apartments which are all clearly labeled and it's common knowledge that covered parking at apartments is usually reserved.
To be honest, I hadn't used the reserved covered parking for the first two or three months because there are a lot of one way roads and I didn't have the time to try and find my way. Eventually I figured it out and started using my spot. Someone parked there once about two weeks after I started using it so I put a note that said "Please don't park here again. It's reserved." I was able to find other parking and that was it. Lately, though, it's happening more often. I leave a friendly note and go about my day.
Today, I'm pissed. I come home and my spot is taken again. I leave a note saying, "Please don't park here. Covered parking is reserved." My neighborhood is SO congested that there is almost literally nowhere else to legally park. Plus, I pay a stupid amount in rent so I should be able to have my own freaking spot. I grab my dog and we take off to the dog park for about two hours. I come back and the car is still there. The note isn't in the same spot so I know someone read it.
I've emailed my landlord about it and they just brushed it off saying "We're put of the office at 5. There's nothing we can do" but there are signs saying reserved parking your car will be towed.
So, my question. Would I be the asshole if I called to have the person towed who keeps parking in my spot? ###### | NTA. You’re not jumping the gun- you gave them multiple chances with notes. Where are you expected to park if they keep taking the spot you pay for?
If you take down the plate number, perhaps the landlady can send an email letting them know they will be towed next time. Or include that on your next note. ###### |
So basically, this blonde girl kept giving me 50% off my Subway. I wasn't sure if it was a glitch or not but I noticed whenever she served me specifically my bank statement would always show my charge as half the price of what I normally pay. I suspect she was doing this purposely and it was meant to be a sweet gesture... And because of this, I avoided mentioning it to her as I thought it would come off as tone-deaf if I pointed out that she was undercharging me (if she was doing it on purpose).
This happened for about a month. And then one day their franchise owner was in the store doing a routine checkup on his staff members. He noticed me and immediately began snapping his fingers at me while calling me buddy sternly in order to get my attention. He asked me if I had come in the day before and then accused me of not paying for my sub the day prior (in front of his staff and customers). He then said he'd let it slide this time and that I could have yesterday's sub for free, but for me not to let it happen again.
I assume he's implying that he thinks I'm a thief. I walked out and checked my bank statements (which all said I had paid). So I can only assume he's alluding to his staff member giving me 50% off.
Am I an asshole for accepting what I presume would be this girl's staff discount?... ###### | NTA. You’re not asking for a discount. That was not a way to get continued business from the owner/manager. It sounds like you go in frequently so it’s odd they would attack like that. ###### |
Yesterday was my \[24f\] birthday. My boyfriend already said he'd take me out for dinner to celebrate since last week, and I let my family know maybe 3-4 days ago. (for those of you wondering about lockdown, I live in a country where we have had restrictions relaxed as new cases have been in the low digits for a month)
Birthdays have never been big in my family. I haven't received gifts from either of my parents since i turned 15 and the occasion never warranted much except perhaps dinner outside. So to compensate, I suggested yesterday that we celebrate my birthday today instead. Neither of my parents said anything. I made the reservation earlier today, and now we're getting ready to go out.
My mum decides to tell me that my dad is not going because he's mad at me for going out for dinner yesterday with my boyfriend rather than spending it with my family. She said I'm in the wrong for choosing to spend it with my boyfriend, and that she and my dad are not going to dinner today. Obviously, I was confused and mildly pissed. I don't think I'm TA for choosing who to spend my birthday with. It's not like my dad even cares about for birthday for the past 10 years; no cards, no gifts, not even a verbal 'happy birthday' have I ever received. That was the case yesterday too; only my mum wished me happy birthday. So I was perplexed as to why he would suddenly be angry at me for not spending my birthday with him. And there's the dinner today that I already told my family I've made reservations for; he's just making it worse by saying he's not going.
AITA here? ###### | NTA. You’re not a child, it isn’t a “special” birthday, and your family doesn’t appear to have made any other plans to celebrate it... so what exactly is their problem?!
Your parents are being selfish, petty and immature. ###### |
I (38f, white) foster kittens with a local rescue. I usually go through the alphabet to name each new cat/kitten/group. We are on out second time around the alphabet, we are at the letter U, last time we had Ursula. I was looking for names for 1 female and 3 male kittens. I found Uhura and thought it would be really cute to name them Uhura, Kirk, Spock, and McCoy. My mom said because the female kitten is also mostly black it wouldn't be ok. I feel like I'm not naming an animal after a black person but naming her after a beloved fictional character. But as a white person I just don't know. (Also I'm a reddit virgin, please be gentle) ###### | NTA. You’re naming them all together, after a group of fictional characters. If we are starting talk about race when it comes to felines, then I am starting to be concerned for human evolution. ###### |
My older sister has autism and my parents have made me her caretaker since I was around 7th grade. We were made to go to the same classes in school except language class where I chose Chinese and she chose Japanese. When younger my sister did not have any friends outside our friend circle but me so she’s very close and dependent on me to help her make friends and socialize. To this day she still wants me to answer her questions for her sometimes because she does not want to talk to some people.
I understand that my parents loves both of us but cares more about my sister. She is not independent neither was raised to be someone to care for herself. One of the reasons why I dislike my parent’s way of raising us. Finally I told them this is too much for me because I have my own life to live and I can’t take care of her if I’m not self-reliant. I told them if I can’t swim and you expect me to help another person drowning we’d both drown.
Their response was “You’re being selfish, you only think about yourself.”
AITA for telling them I have to take care of myself first before caring for her? ###### | NTA. You’re her sister, not her caregiver. There’s nothing wrong with admitting you’re overwhelmed and want to take care of yourself too. You’re absolutely right - can’t keep someone else afloat when you’re struggling. ###### |
We dated for 2 years, I got pregnant, and he said he wasn't ready to be a dad and left us. He came back when she was about a year old and apologised, stuck around for about 6 months, and then left again. She's now 4 and he wants back in her life.
I've said that's not happening unless we have a custody agreement. I know I can't make him show up or use his time, but he's not even on the birth certificate because he wasn't there to sign it and avoided signing it the first time he came back. If we had a custody agreement, if he took anything less than 50/50 custody he'd have to pay child support, and he says he can't afford to take any custody or pay any support, he can only afford to see her when she's at my place without going on the certificate.
I've said no. I want him on the certificate, I want a custody agreement, and anything less, to me at least, is showing a lack of commitment to our daughter. I don't want her hurt. She's 4 years old, last time he ducked out on her she was less than 2 and only saw him once a month, but if he sticks around for 6 months again and then leaves she will notice this time.
Since I said it, my ex and his new girlfriend have sent me messages. Nothing that bad, just asking me to reconsider, but there was one point where my ex called me a "bitch" and another where the girlfriend said "\[ex\] told me you'd be unreasonable. guess he was right".
I asked mum what she thinks, and she says I should let my ex see our daughter without the agreement and try again to get an agreement in a year or so, because it would be worse if my ex got custody but our daughter didn't like him or something.
AITA for wanting the agreement before my ex sees her? ###### | NTA. You’re handling this absolutely right. Your top priority is protecting your daughter and that’s what you’re doing here. ###### |
My MIL (mother in law) is coming in 2 weeks and staying with us for 2 days while she visits the Eye Hospital...which I was completely fine with. However, she called today and wants to bring 3 of the grandchildren and extend her stay for 4 nights. We already have a 15 month old and 2 children from my husband's previous marriage that we will also have the same week. My husband is stoked but I'm not so keen. AITA for saying no? ###### | NTA. You’re going to have your hands full assisting her after whatever she’s doing at the hospital. Adding extra kids is a level of extra work that is greatly unnecessary. You should be talking with your husband about the logistics of who’s going to be caring for all of the children and his mom. ###### |
This wasn't really an issue until lockdown, when friends/flatmates' bfs moved in with us and we went from 3 people (out most of the time) to 6 people (in all of the time) with only 1 bathroom.
I like long showers. Most days I'm in the bathroom for 20-25 minutes (from entering to exiting). Once a week I wash my hair, exfoliate, and shave, meaning I can be in the bathroom for up to 40 minutes. Because of this I avoid peak times (mornings and when everyone's getting ready for bed) and check if anyone needs in the bathroom before i go, either in person or a message on the group chat.
The problem is my flatmates bf has very short showers so thinks im extremely excessive. A few times now he has been out walking/running/cycling and is desperate for the toilet when he gets back. His gf has had to knock on the door and ask me to hurry up because he needs the toilet. I do then get out asap and shout that it's now free.
However they (flatmate and her bf) think I am being an AH for maintaining my "excessive showers" when there are now so many of us sharing. I really enjoy my long showers and have already stopped showering before bed to try and ease congestion. I don't think it's that unreasonable in my own flat but feel kind of bad if it's causing major problem, so AITA? ###### | NTA. you’re going out of your way to be considerate of people who dont even live there. i hope they’re at least helping out with the bills ###### |
Pre-info context: I met these friends in high school, but have been talking to them via Discord recently cuz...yeah. Both of us are 20F.
Pre-info context 2: She has openly discussed having mental & developmental disorders, but to respect her privacy, I can only confirm that they’re socialization-based. Please do not diagnose her in this thread.
———
Due to recent events (protests right outside my door - for more context, I’m Black) my mental health has been suffering; since this group consisted of my best friends, I’ve felt comfortable talking out my feelings with them.
Her mental health has been suffering as well; due to the COVID outbreak, she’s been struggling to find reliable work, as well as a place to stay.
Yesterday, she was rejected from her dream job. Unfortunately this was her 10th rejection just in the past three weeks. Yesterday was ALSO a noteworthy day for protests in our city, and I personally know many who were affected.
When I started talking about it, I was immediately confronted by two friends who told me to stop out of respect for my friend since she was already having a really bad day. I agreed. However, I noticed during the call that every time we tried changing the topic to ANYTHING else (even the lighthearted stuff) she would get mad and claim we were invalidating her feelings by not giving her the floor. When she gets mad, she yells and cries, and it kinda scares me a bit tbh.
I ended up snapping then; I her that it wasn’t fair for her to expect us to talk about/comfort her at all times. I expressed that I felt silenced because I was told to yield the floor to her issues, rather than have a space to discuss mine. I wasn’t happy that everyone had collectively decided her feelings were more valid than everyone else’s and I was...tired.
I left the call immediately after my outburst. I plan on apologizing regardless, but AITA here? ###### | NTA. You’re feelings are valid and also deserve consideration. It’s shitty that your “friends” feel the need to coddle her, while doing to you what they’re asking you not to do to her. ###### |
I apologize for my English in advance.
Hi I am a 13 year old male who was born in south Korea and moved to Canada at 11 years old. I have been in Canada for coming on 2 years. Out of my family of 5 I am the worst at English. Today I had a video call doctors appointment for my health. With my English skills I could not tell the doctor about my health rightly. So I ask my sister who is 15 female to help me. She is way better at English then me and has the best English in the family. So whenever I could not say something the way I wanted I told her want I wanted to say in Korean. She helped me the hole time. After the doctor hanged up she started scolding me about how I need to be better at English saying I learned Korean faster then I did English. I told her that I could speak English mostly it is just some parts I cant and I need help. She then said that I'm 13 and need to act it and take responsibility. I feel it was not a problem to help me but she was very upset that it. ###### | NTA. You’re doing your best! You wanted to make sure the doctor knew what was going on, it makes sense you would want to be as clear as possible. Learning another language is tough, there’s no shame in needing some help! ###### |
I know it sounds bad but hear me out. I am aware that just because you’re in a relationship that attraction to other people doesn’t just stop, and that’s fine!! I’m chill with my bf finding other people attractive and I’m not mad at that.
However, I do suffer with super low self esteem and some other mental health problems which he is aware of and I’m also working on them.
My boyfriend comments on other women often. It’ll always be something sexual as well, which makes me super uncomfortable. It feels like it’s constantly happening like on dates, going shopping, grabbing a coffee, watching a film etc. It kinda wears me down but I also feel like I’m being stupid. I understand he finds them attractive and that’s okay but I have asked him to stop multiple times just because I can’t always brush it off as much as I’d like to and it does mess with my head a bit. He checks people out a lot as well and sometimes it feels as though I can’t have a conversation with him if an attractive girl is walking by because he’s so distracted. When I ask him to stop he always says its just who he is and he won’t stop making comments in front of me because he thinks it’s funny. I tried to ignore it because I figured I am being whiny and overreacting, but one day I was just in a bad mood and he made some dumb comment about some woman's boobs and I once again told him to please stop and that it was upsetting me, I think I probably got too snappy. He got mad at me and didn’t speak to me until I said sorry.
I guess I’m just wondering if I’m being too insecure? Sometimes I don’t realise and just need to hear other people’s opinion. ###### | Nta. You’re boyfriend it’s totally TA though. You really should break up with him, he doesn’t seem to respect you. ###### |
I (F16) was forced to get a job at 15. At the time I wasn't really doing anything productive, so my dad made me get a job. He said it'd keep me busy, and I'd be able to spend my money however I want as long as I kept 30% of it in the bank.
I wasn't fond of the idea since I'm not really good with people, but my dad insisted it'd be a good way to socialize and make money, plus I didn't really have a choice.
After turning in applications, I got hired at a pizza place, and really enjoyed making and spending money. Like agreed, I put 30% (eventually boosting it to 50% on my own accord) in the bank, and spent the rest on whatever I wanted: makeup, clothes, gag gifts. As time went on, however, my dad became upset at my spending habits. Calling it reckless and such. And although I do agree that if I had bills and stuff like that to pay it'd be bad, but since I'm a kid I'm taking advantage of my time now to spend my money without a thought.
Today we got in a shouting match because he said that the way I'm spending my money (which he SAID I could spend whatever on) was ridiculous. He's now saying he's going to increase how much I need to put in the bank, even though I had increased it myself.
I'm not going to abide by these new rules. He said in the beginning that I could spend my money however I wanted as long as I put a chunk of it in the bank. In the coming years I plan on saving more, but as of right now I'm just spending money as I please since that is what was agreed.
Am I the asshole for spending my earned money? ###### | NTA. You’re being responsible by setting some money aside for the future and it’s not like you’re spending your dad’s money on makeup and gag gifts. ###### |
There's actually 2 incidences that lead to this post. Some context: I'm (25F) currently living with my parents due to circumstances & cause I'm doing my PhD. When I'm home, I wear a baggy t-shirt with shorts. My shorts are the sporty type (sorta like jogging shorts), but my t-shirts can cover them cause they're super baggy. When I'm alone or coming out of my room at 1am to get water, sometimes I can't be bothered to wear my shorts.
First incident: my stepmom mentioned quite a number of times that my shorts are too short & I should wear longer shorts around my dad because 'he's still a man'. I asked her if she listened to herself when she said that & she doesn't answer me. She also gets agitated when I'm not wearing my shorts when I come out for 5 mins at 1am to get water. My dad goes to sleep at 9pm, so he's not around when I'm shorts-less.
Second incident: my step aunt was coming over to use our Wifi for work & I'm in my shorts & baggy t-shirt combo. Apparently she was uncomfortable with the way I dress cause I could influence her daughter (my step cousin, who is 14). But the thing is, I'm still clothed. And my shorts aren't so short until you can see my butt cheeks.
My stepmom mentioned my shorts again, but this time I got annoyed & asked her if I should wear jeans. She said no, but that I should wear longer shorts. I told her that my shorts look extra short because I'm wearing a baggy t-shirt, but she still says they're too short. I refuse to buy new shorts just to appease her, but I am wondering if I'm TA.
So reddit, please give me some input. ###### | NTA. You’re an adult. Dress how you want. I find it reeeeeally problematic that your step-mother insinuated concern over your dad sexualizing you. Like... what even? That’s gross and incestuous, and I would calmly/tactfully call her out on her own insecurities. She obviously feels threatened and lacking attention. ###### |
I (25F) have been with my fiancé (26M) for 10 years now, and spent the last week with beautiful weather at his house. For context, his family and I re very close as they have seen me grow up and we have always lived around the corner from each other.
I asked my MIL if she minded if I layed out in the backyard and tanned in my bikini. She said “absolutely not hunny, any time”. So I did. A strapless tanning bikini, but totally covered my bits, I would wear it in front of my own dad, or at any public pool, it was not scandalous in any way.
My FIL and his brother were in the backyard doing yard work, BBQing and some other tasks throughout the afternoon. We chatted, laughed, had a beverage together, both wives were around as well but inside the house. It was a great afternoon until my fiancé’s GREAT AUNT showed up. When she had a second alone with me, she told me it was “completely inappropriate and disrespectful to my relationship with my fiancé to be wearing such little clothing around his father and uncle, how dare I?”
My fiancé had no issues, neither did his mother. His dad and uncle never stared or made me feel uncomfortable. As a 25 year old daughter in law, was I the in the wrong for being in a bikini for an afternoon in the sunshine, in front of my father in law? ###### | NTA. You’re an adult and she has no right to tell you what to wear and around who ###### |
Me and my partner relocated temporarily for work due to COVID-19 to a regional town and continue to pay rent on our city house for us to return to which will be a week today.
My partners sister and boyfriend were offered the house to stay in for the duration of our absence under the terms they needed to be ready to leave when we return (is giving them updates on news of our return so they could prepare to leave by the time we come back) because they had nowhere to go even though they both have $50,000 saved and regular government money coming in. During the whole three months they have not answered one of my call but have answered my partners . It came to a head today when a week ago my partner queried why they aren’t answering my calls to which she said for me to call anytime, I tried calling her again today and low and behold she didn’t answer. My partner called them to inform them we would be back soon and to check in about how ready they are to leave and it appears they have only just started looking for accomodation and work and I’ve blown my top. I feel disrespected and I demanded that my partner tell them they have two days after we come back to leave or I would leave myself now my partner is upset with me.
Have I acted irrationally? ###### | NTA. You’re above and beyond with being kind and patient. ###### |
My student Spotify premium plan ran out so I went to the website to buy a regular plan. I noticed that they offer a family plan and figured it would be cheaper if I chose this option and split the cost with the people I invited.
I asked around and got a few coworkers and friends to join. The plan costs $15/mo. Split evenly that equaled our to $2.50 per person. I asked for them to pay me $2.50 each month on the 15th. It’s not a whole lot of money at all, for me or them, so it kinda felt silly to ask so for so little, but made sense.
Anyways, several months go by. People pay. Sometimes two of the people forget, and I’ll charge them on the Venmo after a few days.
These last two months, however, one friend hasn’t paid for the past two months. The other paid for this month but not last month. I charged them for these missing payments on Venmo (again, very little amount, but it’s disrespectful to disregard what we agreed on) and they’ve ignored it.
I don’t talk to that coworker (I left the job) and never really talked to her to begin with. Would it be rude if I just removed her from the plan without even texting her? All I did was request on Venmo so far ###### | NTA. You've reminded her twice now. It might be good to send a text and wait for a few days for a response before removing her. ###### |
Sounds terrible, I know, but hear me out.
My grandmother (GM) is 95 years old. She lives with my parents, who are both 70 years old. I (F43) live in the house next to them with my husband, kids and pets. Growing up, GM live with us as well and she was the torment of my childhood. She despised my mother and did her best to start arguments between us. She got me in trouble many times, hiding my things and lying about things I'd supposedly said and done to my parents. My mother despised her as well, but my father was too kind to kick her out. I was angry about this for many years, however, recently my anger has begun to thaw and I no longer care about her one way or the other. She's essentially a stranger.
For a pretty long time, she required little assistance from my parents. However, it is clear that she will not live much longer. She is completely bedridden and my poor parents have to take care of her almost 24/7. Time and time again, I have urged them to hire a caretaker to help them manage, since they need to take care of themselves as well. They refuse. I offered to pay for the caretaker and any additional related expenses. Still nothing.
However, my father wants me to help feed, dress and take care of my GM. For the obvious reason that I harbour no attachment or feelings towards her, I don't want to do this. Even if I did, I am working from home with two young children and a whole slew of pets and I simply cannot find the time to help them. Once again, I tried to convince them to hire a caretaker, because they obviously struggle on their own. They are adamant that they can handle it on their own. This has led to several schisms between us. My mother is somewhat on my side, however, my father is upset that I don't want to help take care of her. AITA for refusing to take care of my elderly grandmother? ###### | NTA. You've offered to pay for a solution to *their* problem, it's their choice to refuse it. It could be they don't want strangers in their home or they know Grammy is going to cause a ruckus.
If Grammy is as bad as you say, she could be demanding you specifically because she likes watching you be uncomfortable.
Your dad is TA because he keeps asking you to help when you've already said no and offered to pay for the help he needs. ###### |
First of all, I’d like to state that I’m a black woman (early 20’s) who was adopted into a *mostly* Caucasian family as a baby. I don’t want to go into more specific details for identity reasons but I feel like that’s important to mention.
Anyway, my mom and my younger sister are currently living in another state. I called my younger sister on the phone for her birthday and while I was talking to her, her boyfriend who is 100% white called another white guy (I know who he was talking to) a N*gger. He shouted it loud enough in the background that I heard it and it was a long awkward pause on my end with my sister, before I told her happy birthday and goodnight. I’ve honestly never heard anyone say that out loud and I talked to my mom about it the next day.
I’d like to point out my sister’s boyfriend knew I was on the phone with her and said to tell me he says hello. He was really nice when I visited them for a few weeks and never said anything like that.
Anyway, I’m not sure how to feel or what to think. I’ve been ignoring it because I highly doubt I can convince my sister to breakup with this guy, they’ve been dating for almost a year and he makes her really happy. He grew up in a rural small town as opposed to the city like us. He would 100% get jumped here if he said that. At that school they go to, there is only one black kid and she’s only half a black. Not deliberately, that part of the state just happens to be very white. My mom and my sister say they’re just ignorant up there, but they aren’t racist. My sister would never say that and told me she hates that the people up there say that sometimes.
But yeah, I’m pretty conflicted as it does kind of bother me but I sort of let it go since he wasn’t calling a black person/me that out of hate. At the same time I feel like I should be upset, especially since I’m black. I don’t know... Would I be an asshole if I don’t make a big deal about this? Not trying to ask for advice just wondering what you guys think. ###### | NTA. You've got to call out racism at every turn. Never allow it to be swept along with excuses. Make as much noise about it as possible. ###### |
Okay so my boyfriend atm stays home and I work three 12s a week. That said, I like to meal prep so I don’t have to cook every day for my lunches.
Well, my boyfriend, WHO STAYS HOME ALL DAY, thinks it’s a good idea to eat my lunches while i’m at work. I’ve asked him to stop but he says, “But your food is so good. Plus why don’t you make more so I can have some?” I’ve told him multiple times that I’m stressed and that I can’t make more meals because it’s a lot of work.
So he continued to eat my food. I remember that he HATES spicy food while I really enjoy it. So what do I do? Add spice. A lot of it.
Last time he ate something of mine, he called me yelling at me. He said I was being an asshole and that I know he hates spicy food. I told him, “Tough. Stop eating my food then.”
Now he’s mad at me....
Tl;dr- After asking my boyfriend NOT to eat my meal prepped food, I purposely made my latest meal preps SUPER spicy and now my boyfriend says I’m an asshole. AITA? ###### | Nta. You've asked him to stop. He didn't. The fact that he's mad because you made YOUR FOOD spicy just sounds super childish. Especially since he's purposely taking your prepped meal. Just keep it spicy. He'll learn or go crazy. Also does he not know how to make himself a meal? Sounds super lazy lol. ###### |
So we’re both vegan and have been for years.
Last year we got a beautiful cat who is the grand baby neither of our parents will ever have.
She’s obviously an obligate carnivore and we’ve been feeding her kibble and wet food.
Unfortunately, where she came from wasn’t a very good situation and she had horrible teeth when we rescued her. It’s not come to a point where if she’s painful she doesn’t want to eat kibble and wet food will just make it worse.
We went on a website for rawfeeding animals and bought her some chicken necks and chicken hearts. According to the vet, this should encourage her to use her teeth as it smell “more appetising” than space nuggets.
We’ve obviously been quite uncomfortable with this as it’s raw meat in our otherwise vegan home but we’d do anything for our little gremlin so it’s worth it.
We’ve since had some friends over who were horrified when we got raw meat out and asked us if we weren’t vegan and we said that we were and still are, but that kitty is not.
They’re now saying we’re fake vegans and that we don’t care about animal welfare if we’re feeding her raw meat.
We don’t see the issue, as these are part of a chicken that humans wouldn’t eat and we are following what our vet told us to keep our baby at optimal health. In our minds, these parts of already slaughtered animals would otherwise just be thrown away.
This has created quite a bit of drama in our friend group as some people are now accusing us of being hypocrites while the other half say that we’re just caring for our cat.
Are we the assholes here?
[cat tax](https://i.imgur.com/QFng2By.jpg) ###### | NTA. You're vegan because you can, your cat is not because she can't. Seems stupidly simply for me. ###### |
A while back I started buying a house w my boyfriend. We decided to let his brother and his brother's wife and kids live with us.
The wife and I each got pregnant within a few months of each other, and so the house was totally wrapped up in baby preparations.
Well, when it's her turn to give birth, he gets back with her and he's all aglow and happy saying how much the new baby looks like him, and he says "I couldn't deny her [the baby] if I tried even without the paternity test!"
I thought this was a weird thing to say. As far as I knew, their relationship was good, so I didn't see why they would do a test.
The first time he said it I let it go, but he said it a few times to a few family friends and it really started to bother me. Especially that everyone just took it in stride.
Finally, when everyone was gone various places, I asked what he meant by that. I was like "you keep talking about a paternity test what's that about" and he said it was "the one they do when a baby gets born, at the hospital" and I asked what he meant and he got frustrated and said "you know the one they always do at the hospital when a baby gets born, like you guys when yours was born, so they can put it on the birth certificate."
The confused me even more. I explained to him we didn't have one done, that we filled out the birth certificate paperwork beforehand, and all they did was ask my bf if he was the dad and he said yeah so they marked it down.
He got really quiet, and it kinda clicked for me that something was up, so I said "maybe it's because I have different insurance" because that's all I could think of.
Well he shut himself in his room, and when his wife got back they had a huge fight, and it turns out she's been cheating on him for like six years.
Everyone is upset with me for telling him, because it ruined their happiness about their new baby. Am I the asshole? ###### | NTA. You're the least person to be the asshole here. Obviously your brother-in-law had a lot of anxiety about being the father of the child, and for good reasons. Their happiness was based on very fragile foundations if learning about of hospital works can destroy it.
To blame you seems to be an easy way out for people who want to deviate from the matter at hand -- that has nothing to do with you. Please don't let anyone make you the bad guy of this story, this wouldn't be healthy, for anyone. ###### |
So imagine this: my mom comes into my room, flops on my teddy bear and just falls asleep. I sit there, letting her sleep and minding my own business for two hours. Then it's time for me to go to sleep.
So at this point I've tried to wake her up twice already but she only complains and goes back to sleep before I can say anything else. Since it's my mom, I left it be. But now it's time for me to sleep so surely she'd understand that she has to go right?
But she doesn't go, instead she tells me to just sleep in bed with her. For context, my family lives in a small house so when I was younger, I slept with my parents, before eventually moving into my own room. My mom is a very clingy person and tends to barge into my room very often, for very weird reasons. (Won't say more, but it's nothing bad on my end. Just super weird.)
She wasn't there when I was younger so I think she tries to amend that by doing things like this. Normally I understand, but I can't lie and say it's not uncomfortable for me.
This time I stood my ground, told her again I didn't want her sleeping with me. Eventually she left without a word. And I feel fucking bad about it.
AITA? ###### | NTA. you're setting a perfectly reasonable boundary. ###### |
I (F16) was forced to get a job at 15. At the time I wasn't really doing anything productive, so my dad made me get a job. He said it'd keep me busy, and I'd be able to spend my money however I want as long as I kept 30% of it in the bank.
I wasn't fond of the idea since I'm not really good with people, but my dad insisted it'd be a good way to socialize and make money, plus I didn't really have a choice.
After turning in applications, I got hired at a pizza place, and really enjoyed making and spending money. Like agreed, I put 30% (eventually boosting it to 50% on my own accord) in the bank, and spent the rest on whatever I wanted: makeup, clothes, gag gifts. As time went on, however, my dad became upset at my spending habits. Calling it reckless and such. And although I do agree that if I had bills and stuff like that to pay it'd be bad, but since I'm a kid I'm taking advantage of my time now to spend my money without a thought.
Today we got in a shouting match because he said that the way I'm spending my money (which he SAID I could spend whatever on) was ridiculous. He's now saying he's going to increase how much I need to put in the bank, even though I had increased it myself.
I'm not going to abide by these new rules. He said in the beginning that I could spend my money however I wanted as long as I put a chunk of it in the bank. In the coming years I plan on saving more, but as of right now I'm just spending money as I please since that is what was agreed.
Am I the asshole for spending my earned money? ###### | NTA. You're right, you're a kid. You have no bills, and you're even so responsible that you're saving more of it than originally agreed.
I got my first job when I was 16. I don't know why, but the first thing I did with my first paycheck was buy a cake. Like a big plain sheet cake. I don't even like cake. But the freedom to just buy a cake when it wasn't my birthday was exhilarating. I ate like two pieces and gave the rest to my family.
You are most likely going to spend a good portion of your life not having enough money to buy something you want, whether it's a new brow pencil or a new car. It's coming. Enjoy this time now. ###### |
My mom has wanted someone to come professionally deep clean our house for a long time. It’s pretty expensive, so I suggested paying my boyfriend to deep clean since he’s very good at cleaning. She agreed and named her price, but later she made a snide comment about how my boyfriend should’ve offered to clean our house for free
I got extremely pissed because my boyfriend never asked to be paid for this. Paying him to clean our house was a conversation between me and my mom. My boyfriend had no idea that we even wanted him to clean her house.
She defended herself saying she would’ve paid him more if he had never asked for money. I kept trying to explain to her that he never asked her to pay him because he didn’t even know we were thinking of hiring him until I told him. My boyfriend would have done this for free if I asked him, but I just don’t feel comfortable asking someone to clean my mom’s house without paying them.
I lost my patience and blew up on her and told her she shouldn’t expect people to do her huge favors for free all the time, even if she pays them as a thank you. I also lectured her about how cleaning your whole house isn’t a normal favor and she shouldn’t have had any expectations my boyfriend would do this for free. ###### | NTA. You're right, she shouldn't expect people to do things for free. Paying him shows that you value his labor, and tbh he shouldn't have to grovel for it. ###### |
My “best” friend of about 8 years is pregnant for the second time. She blames all of her “mood swings” (aka her being pretty rude with words) on her pregnancy hormones. And listen, I get it. You’re more hormonal, you’re more moody, I understand. But that doesn’t give her the right to be downright rude in my eyes.
When I got my own apartment, she yelled at me and told me I was stupid and “how could I leave my mom”. When I had a pregnancy scare, she yelled at me and told me I wasn’t ready for kids. Blamed ALL of that on her hormones. But I mean, really.. it was just rude.
Now I confided in her a few days ago that I was having trouble with my mental health and wasn’t cleaning my cats litter box as much as I should have. She just threw it in my face when I told her I was taking my moms kitten, that she can’t keep. She throws it in my face and says “you can’t even keep up with one cats literal shit.” I’ve been doing a bit better and keeping up with it more but like... I trusted her to not judge me for that and to throw it in my face? And now she posted on facebook saying that she’s annoyed with someone’s actions. Which I mean, clearly is me lol.
I just wanna know if it’s wrong of me to be holding her accountable for her blatant rudeness. ###### | NTA. You're right to call her out on her rude comments. Even if someone is making rude comments because they're hormonal, you're justified in calling them out. People who do/say rude things impulsively due to hormones or an acute stressor usually show remorse for what they say. Your friend isn't showing any of that. ###### |
This happened a while ago, before the virus. We were on a college study abroad, and this one girl (21) who ill call M, repeatedly grabbed my (19) butt. It took me raising my voice slightly after telling her to stop multiple times for her to actually stop.
Towards the end of the trip, M told the group that our bus driver had grabbed *her* butt. She was saying how uncomfortable it made her, and tbh that bothered me. I of course understand why it would bother her. And im sorry it happened to her. It was wrong of the bus driver to do that, full stop. However, during this conversation I said "now you know how I felt the other day," in reference to when she had done the same to me.
She was very angry i said that, and tried to say that it wasnt the same thing at all. But in my eyes, it was literally the exact some thing she did to me, after i asked her to stop until she could tell I was angry.
So, AITA for saying that? I feel like my point stands, but I can see how maybe that wasnt the time to say it. Thoughts? ###### | NTA. You're right that she is totally entitled to feel uncomfortable that the bus driver did that. But double standards don't work. Maybe it will be a wake up call for her. ###### |
About 3 months ago I (24) began seeing a man (27) We are polar opposites (I'm a city girl, he's a country redneck). We've been sexually active the entire time.
About two weeks ago I started throwing up and feeling really weird. I took a test. It was positive. I haven't had an OB confirm it yet.
The issue he is very pro-life and I am very pro-choice.
Here is the other issue: this man is from a very small town, conservative Southern Baptist background. He doesn't really believe a lot of medical information. He says sunscreen will give him cancer and lets himself burn and uses weird home remedies to cure ailments.
He also told me he does not believe that you can get pregnant via the pullout method. He thinks as long as he pulls out, it's good. I've tried to explain that is incorrect but he won't listen to me.
This is an accident. I am on birth control (which failed obviously) but I am afraid he won't believe me if I tell him. I don't want to terminate, but I can't raise a child alone (grad student with too much debt) and he is in the military and leaving for 4 months in two weeks. I am also supposed to be beginning grad school in a new city in the spring. If he won't accept the child, I can't keep it. My mom was a single mom and I do not want to bring a child jnto the world that feels unloved or abandoned. He's also been talking to his ex and will be stationed two hours from her house.
Would I be the asshole for terminating without telling him or should I tell him I took the positive test and see how he reacts? Is he required to know even if he may not even believe it?
Tdlr; WIBTA for not telling my partner I'm pregnant and terminating on my own accord?
Edit: I'd like to clarify I have been with no one but him so this child is definitely his. In case it comes up ###### | NTA. You're pregnant. He's not. If you decide to give birth he needs to know but it's none of his business if you terminate. ###### |
My father who I haven’t seen since I was 3 recently died. My sister who had been having some troubles moved in with him about a year ago after burning bridges with all of my mom’s family after she got pregnant and ran away from home. She’s only 15. I recently turned 18 and my dads family is looking to me to be involved in his estate and funeral. I don’t have any interest. There may be some life insurance and they keep asking me about that to pay for his funeral and asking what I can pitch in even if there is no life insurance. I don’t feel any real connection to this man. Hadn’t spoken to him for years before his death and he paid no child support while I was growing up. If there is life insurance I intend to split the money with my sister. I made it clear to my aunt, that life insurance or not, I’m not paying for the funeral. His family think I have an obligation to and that I’m being a jerk. AITA? ###### | NTA. You're only 18! It's okay to let your father's family handle his funeral. ###### |
So my little sister is 7 and has a mild form of autism which makes her maturity level about a year or 2 behind where she is supposed to be. I usually tuck her in for bed most nights cause she doesn’t really like my mom or dad doing it.
I do food delivery as a job right now, and I was working a lot lik from 8-8. When I got home my sister was already in bed (her bedtime is 8:00 on school nights 8:30 on weekends) and I got home around 9 so she was asleep.
My mom told me that she was pissy when growing to bed cause I didn’t tuck her in, and my mom said I should have scheduled my hours earlier to be home.
Am I the Asshole? ###### | NTA. You're not the parent. Your mom is pissed because she had to deal with your sister's mood and is looking for someone to blame; she's not assuming her responsibilities towards your sister's nightly routine. ###### |
My father went to prison two years ago for a crime I don't feel comfortable saying, but it really disturbed me. It completely ruined my trust in him, considering how close we were beforehand. It also really tore apart my family, leaving us with half of our usual income, rumours in our small town etc. It really wasn't easy.
He's been out for about two months, and has texted me multiple times, and I've never answered. I found out he's meeting up with my older sister next week, and he invited me to come. I turned it down. I have no problem with my sister going, because she's her own person and can do what she wants. However, my mom is treating me like a bad person for not wanting to have a relationship with him right now. On one hand, I feel bad for completely disowning my father, and on the other, I can't forgive him for what he did.
so, AITA for not wanting to see him right now? ###### | NTA. You're not ready yet and noone (even family) should be asking you to do things you're uncomfortable with. ###### |
Sorry for formatting, also English is not my first language.
Throwaway cause she knows my username. I know the title sounds bad.
I (f, 20) have had a boyfriend since 2018, pretty damn healthy relationship. I'm also bisexual with a preference for men.
Basically a few days ago a gay girl (f, 19) told me she liked me. She knows that I'm bi. Our conversation went something like this
Gay girl (gg): Listen here, (my name), I have a crush on you.
Me: Okay? But you know that I have a boyfriend.
GG: That's all you're going to say?
Me: Yeah? What am I supposed to say?
GG: Don't you like me back?
Me: No. You know I'm okay with my relationship.
GG: But you said you're bi! ((((here she started getting mad))))
Me: I am bi but my relationship is healthy and I don't have any feelings towards you
GG: ((((started yelling things I didn't understand and that I'm homophobic))))
Of course after that I hung up without saying bye. Yesterday her friends started messaging me that I'm an asshole for not giving her a chance. I don't want to give her a chance cause I'm happy and I tried explaining that but they still insist that I'm an asshole. After her friends started messaging me I called her and told her to tell them to stop that because thats fucking harassment. She said they were not going to stop so I told her that I don't even like her as a person right now.
so reddit
AITA for not liking a gay girl? ###### | NTA. You're not obligated to return someone's feelings for you, and it's totally inappropriate for her to try and throw a wrench in your relationship. ###### |
My mother left when I (18F) was 9 years old, seemingly never to be heard from again. I was sad about it of course, but not *too* sad as we never got along. She was very cruel to me, and she very obviously favored my brother (20M). She always took his side when we fought, she always wanted to spend time with him and not me. Basically every memory I have of her is her reprimanding me for something.
She has recently... resurfaced. After not hearing from her for nine whole years, I got a phone call. She asked if she could see me and I said no.
Well, I ended up telling my brother and he says I'm being unfair and I should give her chance because she was abused by our father and it's not her fault. I don't know if she was abused (never saw anything suspect) but even if she was, that still doesn't excuse the way she treated me, in my opinion. And she owes me an apology at the very least. Truthfully, I just don't want her in my life. Even if she gave me an apology, I don't want to bother with her. She caused me so much pain, I literally grew up thinking she didn't love me. I kind of still think that tbh, I found out she has been sending letters and birthday cards to my brother the entire time, and not me.
So... AITA? ###### | NTA. You're not obligated to have a relationship with her and she absolutely owes you an apology. ###### |
We are stuck at home and I've been helping my 13F daughter and 11M son work on homework while I work from home. It's just the three of us and our house isn't huge, so there's lots of bickering at this point. Today, my dad asked if the kids could come over and mow their lawn to make some money for treats. I said that as long as they got their homework and chores done, I didn't have a problem with it. Well, the time came around to head over to do it and my daughter hadn't done any of her homework. She already has two Fs from missing assignments from previous weeks that I have been nagging her about (probably overly so). My son finished all of his homework and chores by noon today and then took the dog for a walk. He has straight A's at this point because I've been nagging him just as much as her, if not more. So my son got to go mow the grandparents' yard and get $20 while my daughter didn't. It's almost four hours later and she still hasn't done the assignments that are due today. Am I the Asshole for allowing him to earn money and not her? ###### | NTA. You're not favouring your son over your daughter. You set the expectations in order to get a reward (if doing chores can be considered a reward even with money!). He met them, she didn't.
Hopefully she learns her lesson and starts doing her homework and chores! ###### |
My boyfriend is allergic to shellfish. His throat closes up within an few hours if we don’t get to the emergency room on time. He doesn’t need an epipen but he does need to get to the emergency room to take a methyl prednisone pill. I am aware of these allergies and always do my best to accommodate them. I would never want him to be hurt. However, we disagree on the severity of his allergy. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now. I have seen him have allergy attacks, but they’ve never been immediate and always took 8-2 hours before bothering him. Recently my boyfriend has had allergy attacks due to him and other people being negligent (never me!), this has caused my boyfriend to be extremely anxious about his allergy. When we first started dating we would go our for Chinese food all the time (my favorite food, yes this is the most important problem we’re having right now). He would tell people he had an allergy and has NEVER had an allergic reaction from these outings. Due to recent events, he doesn’t want to go anymore, which is understandable. However, now he won’t let ME eat it either! Just to be clear, I don’t eat shellfish or anything fried when I order, I always say I have an allergy as well so it’ll be safe, AND I brush my teeth, rinse my mouth, wash my face and wash my hands, sometimes I’ll even change my shirt if I’m worried. Again, he has never had an allergic reaction because of me. I am very careful. Every time I order I also make sure he is in the mood for something I don’t want so he doesn’t feel left out. AITA for wanting to eat Chinese food? ###### | NTA. You're not even ordering shellfish, so why is Chinese food a problem? ###### |
My husband and I both suffer from depression. For the past few years, I’ve been able to manage mine pretty well with medication and regular therapy. He is on meds and tried therapy once a few years ago but didn’t like his therapist so he stopped and never found a new one. His depression has just gotten worse and worse.
For the past few years, he’s just been miserable. Constantly negative, complaining, etc. I’m empathetic because I’ve been there with my own depression, but now that we’ve been stuck at home with each other and our child 24/7 for the past two months, it’s getting old. I’m frustrated and drained.
Last night, after he complained to me for over an hour about how much he hates his job, I finally got frustrated enough to tell him that he needs to find a therapist, because his constant dumping on me is exhausting. He accused me of being selfish and unsupportive and said that I should be there for him. I tried to make him understand that while I do love and support him, I just don’t have the energy or capacity to be his one and only outlet. He stormed off and hasn’t spoken to me since.
AITA? ###### | NTA. You're not complaining about him talking over his worries, you're simply saying you can't be his "only outlet," which is perfectly legitimate. ###### |
Ok so basically I live with my brothers, the oldest is my legal guardian so when they have girlfriends/partners I usually meet them and get to know them.
A couple of months back, my oldest brother (S) was dating a girl (P) and they were pretty serious until she cheated on him and he broke up with her immediately. Before the breakup P and I got on well, we went shopping together and got coffee- she was always pretty nice to me.
However, after my brother broke up with her I didn’t want to keep spending time with her. Yeah, she was a nice girl, but we weren’t that close and I’m always 100% going to put S’s feelings before P’s. After she suggested just a few weeks ago that we should hang out I blew her off and made up some random excuse, but she was persistent and didn’t stop calling/texting me to try and hang out. It was just weird- we’d hung out maximum three times before.
I finally got fed up and when she called me I told her that she and my brother weren’t together, and I had no interest in being friends with someone over ten years older than I am. She immediately started crying and said that I was like a younger sister to her, and she cared so much about me. I was weirded out and hung up the phone, but she messaged S and basically told him that I had been really mean to her when she was just checking up on me. He didn’t really believe her, but when he told me about it I was mad and I messaged her to say that I was blocking her and she shouldn’t contact me again.
Now I’m wondering if I should’ve been nicer, but she crossed a boundary and that’s not really okay.
What should I do? AITA? ###### | NTA. You're never obligated to spend time with anyone, and it's pretty common to no longer hang out with a bf/gf after they split from your sibling unless you had gotten really close. Especially if the other person had cheated. That's almost always a "fuck you, we're done' situation.
It's weird of P to have gotten so attached to you so quickly, think you'd still hang, and then run to your brother with lies/exaggeration when you said no. ###### |
Posting from mobile so please excuse formatting.
My dog has multiple health issues, specifically hypertension and an autoimmune disease in one eye. Daily, she needs to receive a pill in the morning and four drops, two in the morning and two at night. She has gotten used to the drops and pills and doesn't fight you, just dislikes it.
For the past two months, I have been administrating my dogs drops in the morning. My parents said they'd handle the pills and nightly drops. Two weeks ago I mentioned the pills and found out my dad wasn't giving them to her. I talked to him and so far he's been better.
For the past two weeks, I've found the drop containers in the same place I leave them every morning. I've told my parents this multiple times and they always have an excuse. Yesterday, I told my mom how annoyed I was and she said she'd set alarms and give drops every night.
This morning I came downstairs to find the drops where I left them. My mom said "Hey, how are you?" And I said "I'm disappointed that even after our conversation yesterday you still couldn't be bothered to give the dog her drops." My mom blew up at me, cited the 'I am the parent and you are the child' and, as always, had numerous issues that prevented her from giving drops yesterday.
She tried to relate it to me not taking out the garbage. We didn't have a long conversation about the garbage.
AITA? ###### | NTA. You're mom is a shitty person. She is too lazy to care for the wellbeing of the dog. You'll have to do it yourself ###### |
I can't even believe I'm writing this. It feels so ridiculous but I feel like I'm going out of my mind.
Several of my friends have now expressed that they think it's "covert racism" and "culture appropriation" because my Animal Crossing character is black.
I'm a white female but when I started playing I decided I would make my character have dark skin, pink hair and purple eyes - literally nothing like what I look like in person because I just wanted it to be a cute character. I even gave my character a different name that's nothing like mine.
I've been playing for about a month and I don't have live, but I found an adorable villager and I sent my friends (who don't play AC) a picture of my screen and BAM they started telling me it's not right and to make my character white because only black people should be able to used darker skin colour options.
I keep telling them that's stupid because it's just a game... If I ever have a daughter I'll buy her all skin colour Barbies to play with, it shouldn't be any different.
I ended up asking my coworkers about it (a few of who play the game) and they also said it's similar to doing blackface, just virtual...
Seriously AITA? I don't see how it could be wrong when it's just a character I love and created for the purpose of the game.
TL;DR: Made my AC character a dark skinned girl, even named her something else, and my friends and coworkers think it's racist blackface. ###### | NTA. You're just picking a character without the intent of representing yourself. If you had a black bitmoji that would be another thing because that's intended to be an avatar of yourself, but this is more of a roleplay situation. You create whatever character you want, that's the fun of video games. ###### |
So my brother is a twitch streamer he isnt huge but he averages around 100 to 150 concurrent viewers during stream. He does it full time while going to college. When he streams I(14M) use it as background noise and normally lurk. Today I decided to say something in chat and he ignored it which whatever streamers ignore messages all the time but I talked in chat every couple minutes. Never brought up any affliction with him never said he was my brother I was just acting like a normal viewer. He then went on a bathroom break for the stream and went and knocked on my door telling me to stop talking in his twitch chat. I asked why and he said becuase my mods on my stream know who you are. I asked why that's a problem I am friends with one of his mods none of them said anything about me being there. Well he went back to his room and went back to streaming. I then said something in chat and he muted me for 48 hours. Am I missing something here? I didnt ask for mod. I didnt bring up that I was his brother so people in his chat would pay attention to me I just watching a stream like i would any other stream. ###### | NTA. You're just a normal viewer. I'm sorry he's treating you poorly. ###### |
When I was 15, my mom left the family. For a long time, no one knew where she was or even if she was okay. Eventually, it was discovered that she was just “too overwhelmed” and left to handle herself. My brothers and I were raised by our uncle and my dad from that point on, but it was hard. I became like my brothers’ mom and had to grow up quicker than I probably should’ve. I got into therapy and a few years back and have been doing better.
Recently, I found my mom on Facebook. It was by pure mistake because I reconnected with some other maternal family members that I guess are friends with her. She had the same first name and looks pretty much the same, with just a different last name. The more I looked at her page, however, I saw that she had gotten remarried not long after she left my dad and had basically started a new family. She has kids ranging in age from 2-10 years old. My husband told me to leave it alone, but I was so angry and I just couldn’t handle it, so I ended up finding out her husband’s FB and messaged him, saying that his wife had 5 other kids that she had abandoned, did he know that? My mom ended up messaging me, pissed, saying I had made her husband mad because he didn’t know. To me, that’s not my problem. You can’t just run off and neglect my responsibilities. However, my brothers and husband think I was the asshole. AITA? ###### | NTA. You're her kid. She did that to you. He has kids with her. Fair warning. If she doesn't like having to own being a shit person, she shouldn't be a shit person in the first place. And it's not your fault she hid her shit. How were you to know she didn't even mention you existed, let alone she bailed on you (and your sibs). That's all on her. That's her shit show. ###### |
Backstory: my older sister (40) is sick. Has been going blind. Not entirely sure what is wrong. This has been going on for about 6 months now. She has her good days and her bad days. However, her bad days are bad. Doesn’t want to get out of bed, headaches, worse vision, etc.
Now here is where my mom comes in. She is constantly texting/calling us (brother, other sister, and myself) to tell us my sister’s latest status. If we don’t show sympathy or call my sister within 24hrs, we get a group text saying how disappointed she is in us. At this point, I think we have all just gotten numb to her bad days knowing that it will get better in a day or two and she will be fine.
Today, sister texted the family chat saying that her vision has been the worst it’s been since Tuesday. Nobody said anything for 15 minutes. 15 mins is enough time for someone to be taking a shower, making dinner, having sex, whatever. Mom sends a text to me, other sister, and brother saying how disappointed she is in us (yet again) because we didn’t respond in 15 mins. So I absolutely lost my shit on her. I told her that we aren’t glued to our phones, have lives to attend to and that our lives don’t stop the second we get a text message. I told her that of course we feel bad for our older sister, but give us some fucking time to respond before guilting us into it and stop micromanaging our lives. It wasn’t like the family group text changed the subject after my oldest sister texted us. We all just were doing something else. And honestly did not see her text to respond in 15 god damn minutes.
So, AITA for telling my mom to chill the fuck out with the guilt trips? ###### | NTA. You're definitely right. It is sad that your sister has to suffer but still you deserve your life and your freedom.
Your support won't be less valid if it comes 20 Minutes later, 2 hours later or even 2 days later.
You're not responsible for your sisters condition, you shouldn't be treated as if you were just because she has a disease and you don't. ###### |
Ok so I may sound like a total a hole in the title but hear me out
Disclaimer for bad grammar I’m upset and writing this quick.
Ok so for the last 3 years I have been aware that my brother goes in my room while I’m at school (he gets home an hour early as he’s in elementary and I’m in 8 grade middle school).
Now I don’t like the idea that he goes in my room but he also takes my stuff all the time. Wether that be a old toy of mine or my coveted legos (yes I’m a little old for those go off). The worst part is my parents never tell him to give anything back or try and tell him that it’s not ok. Apparently cause he’s young he is t held responsible.
All this has brought us today where on our couch I found the bottom half of my Isabelle amibo that I was gifted. At this point I was pissed because I had cleaned his room the day prior for him because it was disgusting (I’m talking it took me almost 2 hours and still is not the best).
Now I asked him in front of my dad why he stole it from my room and where the other piece was, and as usual when he gets in trouble he just closed his eyes and stoped responding.
So I gave him an ultimatum, if he doesn’t tell me where the other piece is or I find it before tonight ends I’m taking back everything he’s stolen from me. This includes a significant portion of his LEGO toys.
I don’t think I’m being unfair as I’ve told him to stop a multitude of times and to cut it out and this was my breaking point. I don’t really need many of these things he’s taken so I may just donate them all if I can.
So would I be the asshole here?
Extra info: I’m 14 and he’s 6.
. I still enjoy legos however don’t use the ones he’s stolen as often anymore.
.He’s asked me for things in the past such as some of my stuffed animals and other bigger things. ###### | NTA. You're brother needs to learn some boundaries and your parents need to take your side on this. ###### |
Backstory. My grandma (64F) has never had her own place and has always lived with someone her whole life. I have a two year old and a five month old and after hearing her complaining about not getting to see family and my mom kicking her out my husband (32M) and I (23F) offered her a place to stay at our house two states away.
So heres my issue. She isn't required to pay anything here. Doesn't help with rent or bills or groceries. All I've asked is for a little help with the kids in the mornings as my husband works nights and I use night to study my courses.
Everything started out great. She was helpful and seemed to be enjoying the few hours in the morning with the greatgrands. Over the past several months she's begun taking three to four days every week and a half to drive three hours away to see her old boyfriend. Ok. No problem there.
Then she's begun to step outside to smoke every hour or so and stays outside for 45mins- a hour. Still no problem.
Now on top of all that she's begun complaining when my husband doesn't wake up at 7am when she normally is up and when the kids are up by 8am. He typically works till 1-2am and I'm up and down all night with the youngest. Like this is mainly the reason she moved in.
So WIBTA if I suggest that it seems the kids are stressing her out to much and she should move in with her boyfriend? Or even suggest she start helping with bills regularly? ###### | NTA. You're being very generous and she's taking advantage of you while also trying to control your household. Kicking her out or forcing her to pay rent are reasonable options. ###### |
My mom was raised in Kashmir. Muslims took over the territory, burned down her house, killed her dad, and they fled to India in the middle of the night. My entire family hateeees Muslims because of this.
So they’re super islamophobic. But also my mom was once robbed by a black person, so she also uses that to say she hates black people.
She says it’s normal. She went through a trauma, and now because of past events she knows to avoid these groups of people.
Well, my friend was attacked by a Poodle. She know says she hates poodles, wants nothing to do with the breed, and now avoids them when she’s out about about.
My mom was like, “Eh, that’s unfair. Any dog can bite. Why hold a grudge against poodles, in general? Just hate the poodle that did the attacking.”
And I was like, “You’re joking, right? That’s so hypocritical. You talk about how you don’t like certain groups of people all the time. It’s the same logic. Why hold a grudge against a whole group of people? Just hate that person.”
She was like, “It’s not the same at all. Poodles aren’t any more likely to attack you than say a Golden Retriever. It’s about the individual.”
I was like, “???? Uh, same for black people. Muslim people. It’s about the individual.”
She was like, “How are you comparing races of people to dog breeds? Not the same. Shut up, you sound dumb.”
But it’s the same logic, right? Literally the same. You’re saying group X is bad, and I hate all of them because of a past experience.
So, who is right here? Is it hypocritical? Obviously my mom is an asshole for being racist, but I’m talking specifically in this argument, is she wrong?
On a side note, there are some dogs that are more dog-aggressive etc because they have been bred to be like that. But we aren’t talking about those breeds. A poodle isn’t anymore likely to attack someone than, like, a Lab or whatever. ###### | NTA. You're analogy is solid. She just didn't like being called out on her bull shit ###### |
I guess the question isn’t if I’m an asshole for just being on the site in general. It’s more like, I hold the guys I meet on there accountable for the things they promised. For this not familiar with it, but the site is for younger girls to meet older men who are willing to date in exchange for money. It’s not straight up prostitution, I’ve been on plenty of dates and never had sex. But most of the dates don’t even happen, it’s just talking on the phone and communicating for a bit. The issue I have run into EVERY TIME is that when it’s time to send money or when I ask for a gift, they act like I’m some gold digger. Am I? Probably. But it’s MORE than apparent what my intentions are. I’m 24 years old chatting with 60 year old men and they are shocked that I’m not doing this for free. A couple of them have gone off on me for being “such a slut” when ALL I’m doing is asking for the things they promised, so AITA? ###### | NTA. You're an adult. There's very little room for questioning what the purpose of that site is. If the dude is on it, he knows that it's not a standard dating site. The reason you're running into so much push-back is because that website is also full of liars and scam artists. ###### |
This is my first post on this subreddit so here goes nothing.
Hey I’m a (18M) and never had dated before. Never even kissed a girl. Haha embarrassing right? My mom absolutely forbade me from dating in highschool saying “focus on grades, not girls.” I went along with this notion and did pretty well for myself.
Now I have wrapped up my first year of college and have witnessed three of my crushes end up with boyfriends and can honestly not take the heartache anymore. I want to start dating.
I’m a premed major and my classes take a lot of time and effort but I feel like I can add a girlfriend into the mix and do fine. My mother doesn’t want me to and believes I should keep “close friends “ and after undergrad I could ask one of these “close friends “ if I want to date.
I want to ask out this girl who is in my major but don’t want to be viewed as a “bad son” for having a secret girlfriend.
What makes it worse is that my older sister attends the same small university I do and if she saw me with a girlfriend she would tell my mom about it.
TLDR: WIBTA if I got a girlfriend behind my mother’s back? ###### | NTA. You're an adult, go have fun but stay safe and be responsible!
Also, keeping "close friends" to date later on will not work. There's no guarantee they'll be single at that point, or view you as more than a friend. ###### |
My daughter and I are not close anymore and I've been 'cut off' for the past year due to my opinions on her having a second child at 19 when both her and her fiance are still studying and don't have jobs. It was a hardly necessary and drastic decision on her end but it's what she wishes so I backed off and since we haven't spoken.
Last week Wednesday, my sons arrived in town to visit my wife and I. During one of our conversations, the eldest mentioned that they were thinking of driving over to my daughter's apartment for her birthday on Sunday and asked if I wanted to come along. I reminded them that I was still cut off so I doubt she wants me over. They said it was ridiculous that she was still doing this so they won't go anymore till she realizes that. I told them they didn't have to do that solely for me but they still stuck to it. Sunday came and went and the three of them still hadn't changed their minds and didn't visit or call her. My wife was the only one who called and also informed my daughter on why they didn't call when she asked. My wife says she went quiet and didn't talk much for the rest of the call.
This morning I woke up to messages from her fiance telling me how much of an asshole for turning my son's against her. ###### | NTA. You're already raising her first child, and she cut you off because you didn't think it was a good idea for her to have another, especially since it sounded like she wanted you to raise the second one as well. That's a bs reason to cut you off and it sounds like your sons know that. ###### |
This one is kinda a confusing situation that happened a while ago but I still sometimes wonder I’m im the AH. I (17m) has a close friend (17f) my junior year and we planned on going to junior prom together. Well it just so happened that later on in the year I had gotten a girlfriend and she had gotten a boyfriend. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go to prom with me to my junior prom but she said no and she didn’t want to go to prom with my grade and my friends. My girlfriend at the time was a senior btw. I still decided to go to senior prom with my girlfriend. However I was still planning on going to junior prom with my friend group (mostly guys). Later on my friend from the beginning, her boyfriend couldn’t make it to prom so she asked if I wanted to go with her as friends like we had originally planned on. I first told my girlfriend about it and she seemed okay with it and also I was friends with this girl way before my girlfriend and we never had any intention on dating ever. Prom rolls around the corner and I go with my female friend and my girlfriend and her boyfriend don’t come out of their own choices. After the prom is over my girlfriend is really mad at me and refused to talk to me. Giving off very jealous vibes. She was always very jealous of my friend because my friend was more attractive then her but yet again if me and this friend ever planned on dating it would have happened way before and I reassured my girlfriend many times of this. So I just wanna know AITA for going to junior prom with my friend? ###### | NTA. You're allowed to go to prom with a friend of the opposite gender, you're allowed to hang out with a friend of the opposite gender.
It would be good to have a talk with your GF, try and reasure her, and get her to understand you and this friend are only friends. Cause being with someone who gets this jealous over this, isn't good nor healthy. Who's to say if it continues, she'll make you chose between her or friend, or make you stop hanging out or talking with friend just to make herself feel better.
That kind of relationship isn't worth it. ###### |
I have 3 kids; 8, 6, and 4. They love to ride bikes and we live in a relatively safe neighborhood so I let them ride around the(fairly small) block as long as they stick together and do NOT go off track. Around the block only, no crossing the street
The other day they went off track because they found some mysterious cage(turned out snapping turtle eggs that someone put a cage over). It was just across the street, not a huge deal. They were fine
That said, a rule was broken. So I punished them. No going around the block for the rest of the day(and this was at 9:30am so it really was a whole day).
My husband thought it was harsh because it was a harmless move. No one got hurt or kidnapped, they saw something cool/educational, and they only went just across the street for a few minutes.
I thought it was more of a principal rule and figured if we allow this, they’ll push their luck for more later and end up lost or hurt.
I’m open to discussing a bigger biking circle than just around the block but that needs to be discussed, not something they can decide for themselves, especially when their 4 year old sibling is with them. ###### | NTA. You're a parent, you made rules, the kids need to know that your rules have to be followed and actions have consequences. That being said, give them an alternative. Like, if they see something cool they come tell you and you go with them/give them one-time permission. And/or sit down with them and explain that, if they feel a rule is unfair or should be amended, they should feel free to come to you with their feelings and you will listen to their arguments and make decisions accordingly. The power is still with you, but teaching them to advocate for themselves is always a good idea. ###### |
Sorry for the confusing(?) title, I don’t exactly know how to word this.
I’m 21f, my dad was 46m. To make a long story short: When I was 9, my dad cheated on my mom, while she had cancer, and got married immediately after she died. Stepmom, who is 43f, and her daughter, who is 18f, were not nice people, and made growing up a living hell for me. They were constantly reminding me I didn’t have a mom, and would do things like destroy my bedroom, any school stuff I had, and throw any nice thing I had out. My dad knew about most of it and did nothing. When I turned 18, I moved out and refused to contact any of them again.
About a month ago, my dad had a heart attack in the middle of the night and died. I didn’t learn about his passing until two weeks ago, where I also learned he’d left me everything in his will. Not “everything” everything, but he left me what money he had, and several precious objects that are worth a good bit of money. Very little was left to step-mom and step-sister.
I found out he died because they called me to start harassing me about giving them what I was getting from my dad’s will. They told me they would be struggling if they didn’t get it. I ended up telling them that I didn’t care if they were struggling, and that if they really wanted to do this, I would see them in court.
AITA for collecting what I was left from my dad’s will, leaving my step-family to struggle?
Edit:
1: step-mother was left something, yes. She was left with the house, and money from my dad and her’s joint account. I was left money from a separate account that she does not have access to.
2: Yes, I’m looking into getting a lawyer. And a copy of the will. It seems like the will was written about a year ago.
3: Because of the current world issue, the funeral didn’t happen. Dad’s been buried, but they’re going to do a memorial service for him in June, and I’m not invited.
4: please stop telling me this is just like cinderella. I really hate that movie. ###### | NTA. You're 21, both your parents are dead, and it sounds like your life from your early years onward has been challenging, to say the least. Your dad presumably realised this, and tried to make up for it by leaving you the bulk of his assets. Was it a wise move on his part? Probably not. He should have foreseen that it would cause conflict. But you're not TA for accepting what is legally yours. ###### |
I (M 21) am staying with my mom and her boyfriend (M 50) of 2 years at our family home.
This evening, I was being yelled at told “how wrong I am” and how bad my actions are because I simply forgot to put a kitchen appliance away in the cupboard. I usually put it away, but when I was waiting for it to dry, I forgot about it. It was an honest mistake and I genuinely forgot that I had used it. But I was being screamed at and felt like I was a criminal because I honestly forgot to do something. Me forgetting to put it away did not inconvenience anyone, nor did it impact anyone in any way, so I was genuinely confused. I then tried to defend myself by saying it was an honest mistake, but I was told “that’s not right” repeatedly, and that “we need to put things away to keep the house nice” by mom’s boyfriend. This is where things further escalated. I said that I didn’t think it was a big deal to accidentally forget something, and pointed out that I cleaned my mom’s boyfriends lunch dishes that he left lying out for several hours after work one day, and that we all forget to put things away. According to my mom and boyfriend, this crossed a line and I am “selfish” for telling him that. In my mind, I was just defending myself and pointing out the hypocrisy, trying to show that I thought my mistake was a common mistake that didn’t warrant the scolding I received. Now, since we were all adults here, and my mom’s boyfriend is not responsible for me, I didn’t see any problem in our exchange. But according to them, I was undermining his authority and should never speak to him like that. I didn’t think what I said was mean or ill at all, I was just pointing out that what I did was very minor, and that other people, including my mom’s boyfriend, have done similar things recently. He is not my father, nor do we any relationship like that as I am an adult, and was when my mom started dating him. So, AITA for pointing out my mom’s boyfriend’s hypocrisy? ###### | NTA. You're 21 and you're not his kid. I used this on my brother (father of 4) once when we were walking and talking it started to sound a lot like a lecture. I told him "Don't use your dad voice with me. I'm not one of your kids." It brought him up pretty short. ###### |
My parents have been divorced since I was like a 2 or 3, my mom remarried when I was around 10 but they were dating when I was like 7. I am an only child but my step dad had 4 kids of his own, 3 girls and 1 boy. at the time when I was 7 they were 10, 8, 7 and the boy was 5 (they are 20, 18, 17 and 15).
The blending with that side of the family did not go well at all, me and the 7yo fought A LOT and I also didn't get along with the 10yo, the 8 and 5yo just stayed out of it and I don't got much of a problem with them. Things have always been tense and we've just never gotten along. This has lead to really bad exclusion, I was only there for 3 weeks every month and they never treated me like a full member of the family. Their mom is a dead beat so they call my mom "mom" most of the time but refer to me as "mom's kid" or "step brother" I have referred to them as step siblings also, not in a mean way but that is what they are.
My dad remarried to my step mom when I was around 4 (I don't want to say anything for sure but I'm pretty sure he cheated). I like my step mom and me and my brother (I just call him my brother) are pretty close.
I am at my dad's currently and was thinking that I really don't want to go back there yet. I am tired of moving around and I want to stay here longer, even switch it so its 3 weeks at his place and 1 week at mom's. The main reasons I want to stay at my dads more is because:
1. No offense to my mom but I like my dad more
2. I love my brother WAY more than the steps
3. I have a bigger room, plus I like having a smaller family rather than a big one.
WIBTA if I change the custody agreement and stay at my dad's longer? ###### | NTA. You're 17 now? That's plenty old enough to decide where you want to stay. ###### |
I (17M) program as a hobby. I've been pulling all nighters working on a project with my friends and on my free time I play CSGO and Hypixel Skyblock. My mom recently put locks on my laptop and blocked certain programs that are essential to my hobby (vscode, unity, etc) Luckily for me I found a loophole that allows me to bypass her locks by creating a new windows account using a throwaway email. She's always been like a helicopter parent and I've gotten used to it but it still pisses me off that she treats me like I'm 12. ###### | NTA. You're 17 not 12. She should be less controlling. Also, good on you for bypassing them! Lots of kids suffer under North Korea-style surveillance and strict content restrictions imposed by their parents every day. ###### |
So my (22F) parents (50+) were in the backyard doing some gardening and planting flowers today and left the garage door open. They have a few extra of certain supplies and made a care package for one of my friends who is struggling and left it on the front porch.
They have security cameras and were surprised when the supplies went missing before my friend had a chance to pick it up. I ended up getting a call (as I do not currently live with them but will be back there in a month) that someone came by, went into their garage for a while, then came out went to the front door, tried the door handle, and then took the package and walked away. Eventually the guy came back went into our garage again for a really long time, and then left again.
I am worried that they may be planning to break into the house or have stolen something and want to post a PSA on Facebook to look out for this sketchy kid (he seems about 17-19). When I told my parents this my mom said no because they don’t want to ruin his life, but I am worried why he would spend so much time in my parents house.
WIBTA if I went against my mother’s wishes and posted the information anyways? ###### | NTA. You'd ruin his life anyway by letting him think crime is okay ###### |
Hi everybody! My fiancé and I are expecting a baby in December. I have a lot of bad history with my last name and my fiancé’s family also has a really bad history. For this reason I’ve always wanted my baby to have a new last name to start brand new with no history. We both agree to this and decided this is what we are going to do. However his family does not want that. So are we the assholes for wanting something different and going against his families wishes? ###### | NTA. You will likely get some push back from the family, and you have to decide whether or not it’s worth dealing with the fallout from that. Are you both planning on taking a new last name when you get married? If the two of you and your child would all share a totally new last name, that would make sense. ###### |
All my life I've babysat people when it comes to hanging out. I'll ask, they'll say "I'll get back to you" or "sure maybe next week" or some such thing, and then days will go by and I hear nothing up until the last minute or don't hear anything at all. Recently I decided I'm done doing that. If they don't give me concrete plans or even something like "sure I'm free this weekend or "I think I'm free Monday and Tuesday, let me check and make sure" or something specific like that I just assume we're not hanging out and make other plans. Well recently what I've always feared happening happened. Somebody actually did get back to me at the last minute and I had already made plans with someone else who actually gave me specific plans and information to plan my week off of. This person is upset because I was like "I'm sorry but you didn't give me anything specific and you waited till the last minute to let me know". Am I the asshole for for not putting my whole week and life on hold while I wait for someone to get back to me? ###### | NTA. You weren’t rude or malicious, you just said it how it is. Hopefully they’ll learn they can’t just leave people waiting on them to make plans. ###### |
My son is 5 years older and ever since his first word I've been speaking to him in Arabic just as my mother did with me. He's picking the language up pretty quickly and I'm also teaching him French and German as I know it's easier for children to pick up languages. I've also been teaching him about Islam through bed time stories and he's started to copy me when I do my prayers which just melted my heart.
Before he was born I had a discussion with my wife that I'd like to raise our Children as Muslims but I'm not going to force it upon them and they can choose when they grow up. I did have my son circumcised however, with my wife's consent, for medical reasons as well.
It's currently the month of Ramadan which means I'm fasting from sunrise to sunset, when my son learn this he wanted to copy me. He was having lunch with my wife whilst I was working in my office and asked where I was. He then refused to eat and said he wanted to be like me. I had a talk with him and explained he was too young and he needs to eat so he can be big and strong like me. He still wants to try however so we agreed on him doing half days like we usually do with children.
My wife is very unhappy however and has said that it's unfair we're bonding over so many things and she feels like he's ignoring her. She agreed that languages are useful to him, but she wants me to stop teaching him Arabic and wants me to do my "Muslim stuff" away from him. ###### | Nta. You weren't forcing your son. You were doing it and like a normal kid, he's copying what his parent is doing
If your son likes it then I don't see why not. Maybe she can learn it as well so that it would be a bonding thing for all of you ###### |
I’m not a tech guy but I know more than anyone in my family and whenever there is a hiccup I am called to fix it. I was full on asleep when my oldest brother yelled for me to wake up. When I got out the WiFi wasn’t working and he basically demanded I fix it’s. I wasn’t looking for a fight and I just humored him.
It wasn’t working and I got more annoyed then my other brother said I’m doing it all wrong and basically pushed me out of the way while he worked on it (he doesn’t know anything about tech) and then my other brother tried to fix it. They both were struggling and were getting more mad, I told them to just let me deal with it. But when they were both done trying they both BLAMED ME for not fixing it.
(This is where I maybe TA) I said “I WAS fixing it till you 2 assholes pushed me out of the fucking way. You know what? Fuck you both you always pull this shit.”
I then put on my shoes and went for a walk, when I got back the WiFi was working again. But my brothers were all passive aggressive towards me which really pissed me off but I didn’t say anything cause I didn’t want to start anything.
AITA? ###### | NTA. You were woken up and then they prevented you from continuing to help. Cussing at siblings depends on the dynamic but I'd assume more often than not siblings are comfortable enough with one another to handle that language. ###### |
I (F23) am currently staying at my girlfriend’s (26) apartment and yesterday she wasn’t feeling well. She had really bad cramps, was throwing up and had a really bad headache. We were out of medicine and groceries so I went out to get some.
I picked up the medicine and went into the grocery store, trying to get to the checkout as fast as possible. I was really lucky that there was no line and was already unloading my cart when a pregnant women asked me if I could let her in front of me. Normally, I would have said yes but her cart was bursting and I had to catch the next bus. Maggie has a car but I don’t drive it because of insurance issues. I really didn’t want to wait for the next bus because I didn’t want to leave Maggie alone for too long and I really didn’t have that many items. I wouldn’t have gone grocery shopping in the first place but the pharmacy is right next to the store and we really needed a few things.
I told the lady that my girlfriend was sick at home and I would hurry up packing the groceries into my backpack. The lady started screaming that I shouldn’t treat her like that and that young people nowadays don’t know how to behave. She yelled that she needed to sit down and that I would take to long packing up my things. I ignored her, paid and left. In the moment I felt like I was right, but now I‘m overthinking it. My gf is touched that I was so worried about her and the lady was just plain rude. But what if she was really feeling unwell.
Was I the asshole here ? ###### | NTA. You were totally fine. Don’t think twice about this. ###### |
This ended up in a breakup and to be honest would have resulted in a break up no matter which way it was handled, and I realized that at the time so I handled it the way I did.
Me and my ex had been together for about four years before this, we adopted a dog together in our first year together and had been raising it. However last November the dog came down with cancer, estimated costs for treatment run 5-10k USD and it's not guaranteed, like maybe 50/50 and even if the dog survives it's not going to live a normal life.
Normally we contribute 50/50 to the dog's expenses. The problem is it wasn't possible for my ex to contribute the 5k because of a recent layoff. As for me, I'd recently purchased a cello (I am a cello player, played for 15 years and am insanely passionate about it) for about 15k, and it was still late in the refund period when our dog came down with its diagnosis. I had almost no savings because it was all spent on the cello.
Refunding the cello would have been the only way to come up with the money for the treatment since we were surviving on only my income for the time being and had no excess funds. Frankly i refused and pointed out everything I said here. In the end our dog passed away and we broke up over it, and my ex moved out of my home. I still have doubts whenever I play my cello, but overall I don't regret my decision.
I wonder how reddit would judge me though? ###### | NTA. You were put in an impossible situation: try to save the life of your dog (maybe without being 100% sure about the recover) and lose your only income or keeping it but loosing your dog.
I’m sorry about your pet ###### |