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2 years ago, I (26f) inherited a home in Barcelona from my Spanish grandmother. I work remotely so I made the decision to move there for a few years, enjoying the culture and of course, lack of mortgage/rent. But I came home to the US to ride out this pandemic with family. My friend, Sofia (25f) in Barcelona has to move out of her apartment as it’s being sold, and she is having trouble finding another place during this time. She’s asked me if she can stay at my place for a few months and just pay the utilities. If she really needs to she can move in with her boyfriend, so she would not be homeless, it’s just not ideal as he has roommates. The problem is, Sofia is a major stoner and chain smoker as well. No matter if it’s prohibited, she has always smoked both weed and cigs inside her apartments (she’s had 3 since I met her), blasts music and has get togethers all the time. Most of my neighbors are all elderly. I hate the smell of weed (as well as cigs), and it’s still technically illegal in Spain. I don’t trust her to actually follow what my rules would be. So I gently said no and explained that. Sofia thinks it’s pretty fucked up to say no to this with everything that’s going on, that I should have more trust in her, and that my home is just sitting there empty so it’s an extra slap in the face. AITA? ######

NTA. Your property, and it's for you to decide who you trust to take care of it. ######

So my mum started randomly coming into the bathroom to wash her hands, brush her teeth, go to the toilet etc while I was in the shower. I asked her to stop because it made me uncomfortable. she said she would stop but recently she’s been coming in more and more casually again and i got pretty annoyed at her. Me: can you please stop coming in while I’m in the shower? I told you it makes me uncomfortable. Mum: I’m your mother and this is my bathroom too Me: look can you just hurry up and leave because I’m just wasting water here and I won’t get out until you’ve gone Mum: you’re being so rude! you shouldn’t talk to me like that! so whaddya think? AITA? ######

NTA. Your privacy is important. If she doesn't respect it, then she can do better. Also, how old are you, and do you have some family member you can talk to about this? ######

Today when my sister in law came over (she's also our neighbour) her 10 year old son also came along and instantly started tellimg me about his tik tok account which has many followers.Initially, I was happy for him but then he asked me if he could download tik tok on my phone, so that i can like his videos. I told him that he can just send me his ID and I'll like his videos later since my phone might not have enough storage rn. He just forced me to download it and even started to seize it from me..since i didn't look forward to any kind of arguements or fights i told him I'll download the lite version. He agreed but my phone didn't have enough space for that either coz online school is going on and phone storage is full of notes, pdfs and stuff like that. I told him I'll download later and he started throwing a tanrtum demanding i delete some of my stuff rn i said everything i have on my phone is needed and nothing is unnecessary so i won't delete anything. He went through my gallery and started selecting my friends' pictures to delete them.. i was furious at this point coz i don't click much photos it's just a couple or three at special times. So i grabbed my phone and went in my room. My sister in law saw this and was furious at me for ruining her son's day. I told her I'll definitely like his tik toks later and i have some assignments on my phone and I'll install tiktok as soon as I'm done with them..she was mad at me for lying about assignments and not giving importance to her son's wishes and went home without having lunch :( Am i the asshole for this? Edit - Thank you everyone for telling me I'm not the asshole. I was really frustrated about this since my sister in law also misbehaved with my mom when it wasn't even her fault. ######

NTA. Your phone, your business. You can say no just because you don’t want the app. conversation done. They sound entitled ######

I am just wondering if this was wrong for me to say. I’m on letrazol and I have endometriosis, the letrazol forces me to ovulate and is giving me some nasty side effects. To avoid being on it as long as possible, I asked if my partner to avoid masturbating and instead just hold out for our sex every second day. He got angry at me and said that evidence proves that masturbating doesn’t affect fertility. he has extremely low sperm count as it stands so I wanted to have th best chance possible with both of our issues. I said to him that we probably can’t consider these studies credible as we both have fertility issues so our situation is different. He told me that I don’t care about how he feels and that I only care about getting pregnant. I’m usually extremely understanding with him but I don’t understand how I can understand how he feels if there’s nothing that’s affecting him? I’m just confused and really lost, if I’m wrong in this please tell me. ######

NTA. Your partner very much sounds like someone that doesn't actually want a child. And even if they do, they also plan to let you shoulder the majority of the load when a child comes along. They're already letting you take on too much of the load right now by making you plead with them not to masturbate when anyone with some sense would know it's a bad idea. I feel like you should very seriously consider having a child with this person. Dealing with this level of selfishness while tending to a child will breed a lot more resentment that may lead to a break up. Having that break up post having a child will make everything harder. I'm sorry because I feel like the severity of my comment isn't what you came here for but just thinking about how your partner is acting here paints a very clear picture of his behavior once a child is around. One that I would hate for you to ignore. ######

So, this happened way last year, but it's still been on my mind, and some clarification would be nice so I can make up my mind and tell them "I'm sorry' and whatnot. When I (16m at the time, 17m now) lived with my parents, they'd constantly peg me to clean the entire house for them, do their laundry, and even go as far as to make me watch my 3 very little siblings (3f, 2m, 1m) almost every day while they went out on dates. Sometimes, they'd force me to watch them even as soon as I came home from school while they sat down and watched netflix. I'd say things like "I have plans with friends," or "I need to do my homework," but they didnt even care. This eventually lead to my grades dropping, considering I had no time at home to myself to do work I needed. The only time I would be able to work, would be late at night, but even then I would probably be putting my siblings to sleep as my parents were too busy watching movies or going out on dates. Because of my grades dropping, they'd take away my phone, my ps4 and PC, and even my TV, and use it as an opprotunity to make me do whatever they wanted, using 'You're not doing anything, anyways' as an excuse. This took a heavy toll on me, as I not only stopped being able to take on large amounts of stress, but I often found myself pulling off numerous attempts to off my own life, only to no avail, and just staring at the roof crying late at night. Eventually i was pushed too far, and I snapped at my mother, which she said 'I gave birth to you' and I replied "You shouldn't have.", and I felt abit like TA here. Things got too heated there, and I ended up moving away and back to my Grandparents, who've been the nicest people I've known in my teenage years, but I'd just like to know if I was TA in this situation, so I could apologize to my mother for all the things I said when I snapped. ######

NTA. Your parents were abusive. They neglected you and your siblings and then forced you to step in as a surrogate parent for your siblings. ######

My parents always think im a careless person like sometimes i forgot bring my wallet, forget where i place my key. They always remind me anything , always lock the door before going out, and i never forget to lock the door so why always remind me of that. sometimes people forget, its normal i think. They almost regulate everything in my life including my daughter, for example my daughter (Chloe) throwing tantrum dont want to take a bath, and i just want to trick her to take a bath with my way and it may take some time to beg her to take a bath. Not with my mom, she want my daughter immediately take a bath like forcing her , and chloe will cry out loud. I prefer to beg her to take a bath than to calm her down when she cry. So im moving to new house with my wife after 3 years living with my parents. they ask me to install CCTV in my house considering me and my wife are working so the house can be monitored online. The problem is my parents want to have access on my CCTV too. They said to prevent me from being careless like forget to turn off the gas stove or leaving it while cooking something and help monitoring my house. I feel like i dont have my privacy if they can monitoring my house everytime. so i lied to them that it can only monitored by one phone, so since i already added it to my phone, i cant set it to another phone. AITA here? ######

Nta. Your parents sound like control freaks. But you shouldn't beg your daughter to to anything. If there are rules or regulations she has to follow them. You are her "boss" not the other way around. ######

So my(16f) sister(23f) was studying abroad in Italy but the whole corona virus thing happened and she had to come back. She left all of her stuff with her roommate who lived there, including her computer. My mom lent her her computer for about a month because she wasn’t really using it, but now she needs it for work so I was the next candidate. My parents were already planning on buying me a new computer since the one that I’m using now is a very old model and cannot stand many programs I may have in school next year (i will use this for all high school and college). So they decided to buy it and immediately give it to my sister. She has been using it for a month now and will use it until she gets her stuff back. Now, I would be fine if she was just using it for necessary stuff like school or looking up things seeing as she has a TV on her room and a phone. But my mom said that she would use it as she would use it as if it was her own which means watching movies, going on YouTube, etc. This would also be fine if it wasn’t, well.. my sister. She has a very long past of mistreating all and every electronic device that she’s had and I admit I was very nervous to hand her my computer. When I voiced my concerns to my parents, my mom got mad at me for being an ungrateful child and basically screamed at me for even thinking about it. I wouldn’t really have made this post if that comment didn’t make me so sad. I kind of already know that I’m in the wrong here, but I’d still like an outsiders opinion. Also this is my first post ever. I hope I didn’t make any mistakes. ######

NTA. Your parents shouldn’t have said the computer was for you if they’re just going to give it to your sister. Also, no offence to your sister but she’s 23. She can earn money and buy herself a computer. If you were to try and earn money to buy a computer then it would take you much longer because 16 year olds are paid far less for the same amount of work as people over 18 ######

I (f/20) am planning to move together with a friend (same age) of mine next summer, once I have graduated. My parents do know this said friend, as we know each other since high school. At first, my parents once I confronted them about my plans, didn't say anything and were actually even happy that I won't live lonely on my own. Later this day, my mom (with who I don't have a really good relationship, see my last post) came to me and asked me to stay with them until I turn 23. Her reasoning behind it is, that I have to pay them money (approx. About 500€, as they won't get child support from me anymore) so they're able to live themselves as they're in big debt. I'm already "used" to the fact that I have to pay them some money, as I already pay about 150€ each month to them. I have no interest in staying any longer in my parents house as I have to, for the sake of my mental health. On the other hand, as I wouldn't live with them anymore, I wouldn't see a point of paying them money, that I have earned. Am I thinking selfish or is my mom just trying to find a reason for me to stay? ######

NTA. Your parents need to start figuring out a way to get themselves out of debt that doesn’t include you. You shouldn’t feel obligated to stay. ######

Growing up my mom was big in to charity work (not donating money but giving things to people who they thought needed it), it might sound like a good thing but a lot of the times it was taking something from me (yes most of it was given to me by her but they didn’t limit it to things purchased by her) giving it to someone who they felt needed it more eg taking my spare phone and donating it to one of the workers around my block because they needed it more. This has eaten at me over the years and has completely put me off any kind of human philanthropy, I do a lot of work for animals ( I prefer being around animals than humans if that helps) Recently There’s been pressure for me to be more generous and do more charity work for people that need it (given that there’s a pandemic) and I’m getting shit for choosing to donate to animals instead And ofc if someone who I know and like is having a hard time I do reach out and try to help wherever possible but am not into giving away shit to random people So AITA? ######

NTA. Your parents didn’t quite hit the mark in helping you develop charitable approach they hoped for. By taking your things, they made acts of charity something that created resentment and possibly guilt. Instead they should have focused on creating charitable experiences that create human connection or a sense of purpose. Thank you for your work with animals and I hope you are able to find other positive charitable experiences as well. ######

I (17f) get uncomfortable around my father often as he is very touchy and (in my opinion) often inappropriate. He will often playfully smack my butt if he is walking by me in the house, put his hand on my hip or butt if we are taking a picture, or pat my butt if we are hugging. He also implies that I am sexually involved with all of my male friends. I’ve outright said to him that this makes me uncomfortable months ago but he is unrelenting with being touchy so now I just push his hand away or avoid him in the house. Now that we are all stuck at home, it’s difficult to avoid him and if I push his hands away or move when he’s close to me he becomes upset, leaves the room and will either not speak to anyone or be rude to other members of the household. The very few times I’ve had friends over he’s implied that I am trying to have sex with all of my male friends and it is uncomfortable for everyone involved. My mother knows he makes me uncomfortable but thinks it’s my responsibility to make sure he doesn’t get upset and thinks I should put up with it. His presence has made me increasingly anxious and upset for about 4 years and now it’s exacerbated by the current situation. So, AITA for not wanting to be around him when he makes me uncomfortable as it upsets him? EDIT: Thank you all so much for the kind words and advice. I’m really happy to know that I’m not overreacting. I will try to update soon enough if I can get in contact with someone I trust. ######

NTA. Your parents both suck. Your father for being a creepy asshole and your mother for making it your responsibility to accept his behavior. He has no right to touch you in anyway that makes you uncomfortable. Period. Please consider talking to a trusted adult about all of this. ######

AITA for not wanting to my brother to move in with me? I (f24) rent a house from my parents with my husband and my daughter(6 years old) my brother(26years old) is being discharged from the navy for some mental issues (extreme depression and substance abuse issues) we have an extra room in our house that my parents offered to him without talking to me. The reason I dont want him here is because I was abused by him for a long time as a child, I have just started going to therapy to finally face that trauma since nothing was ever done for me as a child when I finally told my parents. My parents didn’t even let me put a lock on my door since he’d usually come in while I was sleeping I thought it was a reasonably measure. My dad still claims he was never told until I was an adult. I dont want my brother around my daughter and I dont want to be around him while I am finally working on dealing with this. AITA if I tell him and my parents that I dont want him here? ######

NTA. Your parents are very ignorant. They seem like they don't care about your emotions at all. They didn't even ask for your permission. Why don't they just let him move in with them? Don't let your brother move in. Keep your daughter safe from experiencing the same things you had to go through. ######

Hey everyone I am very conflicted about this as everyone around me has called me TA and a bad sister. My brother (16M) and I (18F) don’t get along. Although it is only a 2 year age gap we are polar opposites. I go to the top university in my country and am studying to become a doctor. I have been a pretty strong student my entire life and I’ve never done drugs before. My brother on the other hand is barely passing any of his classes, has no ambitions in life, and is always high on some drug (usually weed). Because of this my parents have made it very clear that when they pass, it will be up to me to take care of my brother. But the thing is I don’t want to. Don’t get me wrong, I love my brother but I don’t like him. He has no respect for me and he thinks it’s funny when I get upset. Some key examples are: he’ll call me a fat whore anytime I do something he doesn’t like, he’ll sneak into my room to steal my snacks and clothes, and most frustratingly, he knows my parents won’t do anything about it. When I told my parents I refused to take care of him they blew up. They called me selfish and told me with my future salary, taking care of him financially would be no issue. However, I stood my ground and simply told them if I’m the one going to school for 10+ years, I’ll decide how I want to spend my money. This has now caused a rift in my family and my parents are now worried for my brother when they pass. TLDR: my younger brother is irresponsible and my partners want me to support him financially when they pass. So Reddit AITA? ######

NTA. Your parents are spoiling your brother instead of helping him get his shit together. Expecting you to do the same just because they can't be assed to send him to rehab or get him therapy is just lazy and selfish of them. ######

Bg: I'm 17 years old. I live with my mom and dad but for the past few months, my sister's 3 kids have been living with us. They have no manners, are disrespectful, and are destructive. For example, they scribbled over my expensive drawing tablet (their mom blamed me), ripped up the dining room chairs, and threw things at my parents along with saying I'm Satan (which was funny but still). I will be only mentioning 2 of them (P:6; R:4) as the other is a baby. I watch them from morning to 4 PM as my parents work. I hate kids btw. My parents always threatened them with punishment but never follow through. They yell at me when I try to enforce rules. Their mom decided to move to a far away state and rarely calls. My parents let her do whatever because it's for the kids. They stopped parenting me when P was born. Note: they aren't like this because they miss their parents. The parents let the walk over them and trashed our house before. So both decided to tear up the toilet paper and throw it in the trash. Big. Problem. My mom told them they had to use the trashed paper. Then she left all the fresh toilet paper in reach even after they told her they weren't using it. So I took all the toilet paper and put it on the high shelf (Possible Asshole Move 1). We finally got the baby down to sleep. They decided to play roughly and loudly after I warned them 5 times. I told them the next time I came out of my room one of them would go take a nap. R kicked P so I sent him to their room. He proceeded to kick stuff and throw himself down knowing the baby was asleep in the room next to him. After a few more minutes of that and warnings, I sent him downstairs, which is a mini basement with a washer, dryer, some baskets, etc. (PAM 2). AITA for this? I'm just sick of having to take care of them all the time. I do feel guilty because everyone around me is getting on me like I'm supposed to be the perfect mom and the kids started crying. ######

NTA. Your parents are putting you in a impossible situation and it's not fair. ######

I've been diagnosed with S.I.H. my brain is nearly constantly inflamed and my veins are full up of blood or something else . either way , my brainstem is very inflamed and this causes me to hear things constantly, along with pain, feeling sick, hearing loss, fluid building up in my head , seizures, brain fog etc . my parents have been treating me worse the sicker i get . when i tell them what my illness is , they ignore it , then a few days later repeatedly ask why i am the way i am, like they just dont get it. when i tell them im having a headache they say 'oh it's that computer you're on' - matter of factly, COMPLETELY ignoring my diagnosis when stabbing headaches are one of the core symptoms . when i explain my muscle seizures , they have mocked me by copying me when im having an episode and call me 'crazy' even though i cant help it . they also keep yelling at me for talking loud which i cant help because my hearing is affected also . i also get insulted for being a 'lazy bastard' because i am bed bound 20 hours a day because im sleep deprived because the hearing things keep me up for hours on end , only after about five hours of lying down , do they fade enough to not make me really anxious and stressed. ive also had them threaten to hit me because i forgot what bin to put something in . i tried to explain the memory loss and how a doctor says i have a type of dementia (which is a symptom of S.I.H when it is chronic) and i forget things. they gaslight me by saying 'well i forget things too, so how can i still feed myself?' and whatnot. WIBTA for actually raising my voice and getting assertive with my parents? ######

NTA. Your parents are horrible people, you need to try and get out of there. ######

So my parents love movies like fast and furious and movies with lots of action and guns. (Die hard ect..) They do occasionally pick a different movie but that’s incredibly rare and so it’s normally a die hard clone or a movie with some super buff guy shooting a gun. I’m not a huge fan of those types of movies and would rather watch something animated like a studio ghibli film (I’m going through the Netflix library atm) or something with a complex story or that is kinda strange. For the past week they have been telling me to broaden my horizons and watch a movie with them and I’ve been saying no as I absolutely despise all the gun/car heavy movies they pick. I hate the genre as a whole and so have just been watching things in my room. (This is a issue as my parents have a no food in room rule and so when I get hungry I have to stay out in the lounge) Recently we got in a fight about it as my parents are getting annoyed we are not hanging out as a family so I suggested I pick the movie, so I decided to put on a ghibli film. Dad automatically said no and asked me to change it and Mum agreed. I then got kinda annoyed and in the heat of the moment called them hypocrites for telling me I need to broaden my horizons while not letting me pick a movie. And I told them I was sick of gun heavy movies. My parents and me are now kinda on edge and I’m wondering if I actually fucked up and should apologise. (I’m 17) (female) ######

NTA. Your parents *are* hypocrites, and they don't like having to confront that. This is a prime example of "do as I say, not as I do". But in the spirit of making the quarantine tolerable for everyone OP, maybe you could suggest to them that you all try broadening your horizons together, and watch some well-reviewed films that are outside all of your comfort zones once in a while. Maybe you'll find some overlap, and movie nights can be more fun for all of you. ######

I’m 19, sister in question is 9. I became paralyzed a couple of years ago and now rely on a wheelchair, it’s basically my legs. I’m completely non-ambulatory, meaning I can’t walk at all or anything and I rely on my wheelchair not only for basic movement but for a sense of independence. Just some perspective before starting. I started college last fall but currently I’m living with my parents due to the virus. For most of the day I’ll be in my chair but there’s not a ton to do so I’ve started taking more naps. During one of these naps, my younger sister decided she wanted to play with my wheelchair and took it out of my room. I’m a pretty heavy sleeper so I didn’t wake up, but around half an hour later when I did wake up and I saw it was gone I kind of freaked out and started yelling (not like horror movie screaming but using a raised voice so my family in other rooms could hear) to ask if someone took my chair. After a couple of minutes, my mom came in and told me my sister was playing with it because I wasn’t using it. I asked for it back, and told my mom that I don’t want my sister playing with it in the future. My mom wasn’t happy with that, saying that it really wasn’t a problem because I was asleep anyways and that I’m being overdramatic. I responded by saying that I’m sure she wouldn’t want to wake up and see that her legs were missing, even if it was somehow temporary. She ended up saying that I can deal with it because ‘kids will be kids’ or find somewhere else to live. So I shut up because I don’t particularly want to be kicked out. Honestly I don’t really think I was overreacting, but her reaction to it makes me wonder if I was. AITA? ######

NTA. Your mother’s behaviour is appalling. She should have talked with your sister. ######

I’m 19, sister in question is 9. I became paralyzed a couple of years ago and now rely on a wheelchair, it’s basically my legs. I’m completely non-ambulatory, meaning I can’t walk at all or anything and I rely on my wheelchair not only for basic movement but for a sense of independence. Just some perspective before starting. I started college last fall but currently I’m living with my parents due to the virus. For most of the day I’ll be in my chair but there’s not a ton to do so I’ve started taking more naps. During one of these naps, my younger sister decided she wanted to play with my wheelchair and took it out of my room. I’m a pretty heavy sleeper so I didn’t wake up, but around half an hour later when I did wake up and I saw it was gone I kind of freaked out and started yelling (not like horror movie screaming but using a raised voice so my family in other rooms could hear) to ask if someone took my chair. After a couple of minutes, my mom came in and told me my sister was playing with it because I wasn’t using it. I asked for it back, and told my mom that I don’t want my sister playing with it in the future. My mom wasn’t happy with that, saying that it really wasn’t a problem because I was asleep anyways and that I’m being overdramatic. I responded by saying that I’m sure she wouldn’t want to wake up and see that her legs were missing, even if it was somehow temporary. She ended up saying that I can deal with it because ‘kids will be kids’ or find somewhere else to live. So I shut up because I don’t particularly want to be kicked out. Honestly I don’t really think I was overreacting, but her reaction to it makes me wonder if I was. AITA? ######

NTA. Your mother's reasoning does not make any sense at all. She's basically comparing your wheelchair to a toy which it isn't. It's something that you need in order to be able to get around and function. Would your mother feel the same if your sister either hurt herself or damaged the wheelchair while she was playing around with it? ######

This was a good while ago but I just realized maybe I could confirm what I thought. My Context: I wrote a story and it was one of the best I had written in a good long while. My mom loved it and wanted to post it to Facebook. I was excited, I love sharing my stories! So she posts it and then later I go on Facebook for the first time in a while to see my story with no credit. All of the comments are telling my mom how amazing of a writer she is. I wrote it, not her, it really hurt my feelings. It felt like she took credit for my work. So I told her she needs to credit me. She argued that she wanted genuine reactions without credit or context. But that's not how it came off. Also during this time, she tried to get me to make a big piece of art for no money. I'm her family, I dont need money. Her context (to the best of my ability)(im still using I for myself and she for my mom): I wrote a good story, she wanted to share it. She wanted a genuine reaction so she posted it without credit but then I got mad. To her, it feels like I dont trust her. Do I really think she would take credit for my work? Why would I think that? She just doesn't get it. Even after I changed it to give myself credit, she was still offended because I "accused" her of stealing my work. And why should she have to pay for artwork I made, it's for a friend and a family member! Why do I demand to get paid? The story context doesn't matter and the artwork was a T-shirt design for a retiring coworker (who I have never met). I didn't have the proper programs to draw what she wanted so that's why I raised the price even higher. I hope I gave enough context, if we need more I can come back and edit it. ######

NTA. Your mother sounds like the student that always mooches off your homework. If I were you, I’d probably try and maybe report the post or something, or point out who the real writer was. ######

My mom is graduating from her PhD program. She’s been using a hand me down MacBook Air for over 5 years, and it’s basically falling apart at the seams. So as a surprise my bro and I got her a brand new MacBook Air. My mom has a lot more money than me. She can easily buy herself a laptop but she doesn’t like to spend her money. The laptop was a big expense for me but it was a special time in her life, she genuinely needed it and I knew she wouldn’t get it for herself, so I didn’t mind. Ever since the laptop arrived she’s done nothing but complain about it. It’s too slow (but every time I check it it works fine). The first few days she refused to even open the box to unpack it. She’s been saying she would rather have the money instead and joking (partially) that she would use it for Botox. She’s been saying she wants me to return it or buy it from her bc I don’t have a computer. I got fed up and asked if she was sure and she said yes excitedly thinking she’d get the money. I told her nope. That I needed that money. I told her to go to my brother for his portion of the money if she wanted but I have more important uses for the money. I feel guilty because it is a gift and I feel If I could afford to I would just give her the money and brush it off. But I’m also hurt by her attitude. One time she was eating toast with the laptop on her lap and I told her to be careful to not get crumbs in the keyboard. Out of retaliation she purposely started breaking the bread apart over the computer. I’m willing to go out of my way for a need she genuinely has but I can’t afford to buy luxury items for her that she can easily shoulder the expense for. She’s sulking at me now and said “you shouldn’t force things on me I don’t want.” Am I the asshole for not giving her the money? ######

NTA. Your mother sounds like a spoiled child, not like a grown woman. ######

So before I start I 1000% know I’m petty but I wanna know if I’m TA because she’s now crying and I feel like I’ve gone too far... So the other day she lost something, we were both looking for it and I was actively searching in front of her for this thing. During the search I got a text from my best friend that he’d been hit by a car while on his bike. Obviously I was crazy worried and other still looking for the thing my mind obviously wasn’t on the task anymore. My mum started to shout at me that I don’t care about her and her stuff. I explained what had happened and why my mind was wondering. Her response was ‘he’s just a friend, I don’t really care right now.’ Obviously this really annoyed me. Fast forward to right now. I’m currently looking for something of mine, I ask for her help. Not even a minute in she stops completely. I ask what’s up and she says she’s not bothered about my thing right now as she just got a text from her friend. Her friend had just been called a ‘fat cow.’ I said ok. She gave me daggers and I said what do you want me to say? No different to what you did to me the other day? She is now crying and has left the room? AITA? TLDR: Mum said she didn’t care about my friend so I said the same. ######

NTA. Your mother seems extremely dramatic to cry over you not caring that her friend got called a fat cow. Your mother is also a HUGE AH, for completely dismissing your worry for your friend and saying she doesn't care. ######

I (17f) have a variety of socks. They range from the regular knee high patterned ones, to knit socks, to old fashioned lace ones. I don’t collect them or anything, I just like having different kinds of socks. I live with my dad (56m), and he knows that I buy socks fairly regularly. He doesn’t have an issue with it. Since the world went to shit, I’ve been stuck at my mom’s (52f). The other day, I was on amazon, and I got recommended these really nice looking socks, with little stars sewn on them, and lace along the top. I ordered them (with my own money) and they got here yesterday. My mom found the box, and opened it before I even knew it arrived. She found them, and then came into my room and started screaming at me. She told me that I shouldn’t be buying stuff to wear during sex or something, and I was confused. Apparently the socks were actually stockings, which isn’t sexual in any way in my opinion, but my mom thought otherwise. She told me I was being a slut for buying these things, and told me that she was going to look for any more “slutty clothing”, and proceeded to go through my clothes, throwing anything she deemed sexual out. This resulted in most of my clothing. My crop tops, shorts, socks with any sort of lace on them, and underwear that wasn’t boy cut got thrown out, leaving me with very little clothing left. I called my dad and told him about it, Mom overheard and told me it was my fault for buying “sexy socks.” AITA for buying “sexy socks”? ######

NTA. Your mother is ridiculous. First of all, she has no right to throw out your property. Second of all, to call your own daughter a slut is abhorrent. I hope your father has your back. ######

sorry if formatting is weird So my mother was a middle school teacher and she would tutor this boy who was around 13 or 14 years old. He would come over our house for tutoring.So, they ended up having sex and mom get's pregnant. At that time, me (19M) and dad didn't know about the affair and thought the baby was dad's. We were with throughout the pregnancy and birth. How we ended finding out was my mom left her phone at home while she went to the grocery store. A text message popped up and it was a nude photo from the boy she tutored. I ended up going through her phone to see tons of dirty text messages and nude photos between her and the boy. I showed the pictures and text messages to my dad and needless to say, he was devastated. We decided that we should turn the pictures in to the police for not only the boy but for other future victims as well. We confronted mom about this and she admitted that she had been sleeping with this kid for a while and the baby wasn't dad's. She begged us not to turn it in to the police but we told her we already did. A few days later, the school found out and they fired her. The boy's parents got wind of this as well and they are pressing charges. My mom is currantly sitting in jail. As for Dalton (half brother), I can't look at him the same again. The rest of the family are calling me an asshole for not wanting to be around him and for turning in mom but to me, he will always be a reminder of my mother's infidelity and crime. So reddit, AITA? ######

NTA. Your mother is guilty of statutory rape, you did exactly the right thing by turning her in It’s understandable you’re going to have difficulty bonding with your brother given the circumstances, and it sounds like your still reasonably young yourself. Remember though, the circumstances of your brother’s birth are not his fault. Think how difficult life is going to be for him growing up given what happened with his parents. Maybe when you both grow up you won’t be close, siblings don’t have to be. But there’s an opportunity to form a relationship here and you need to judge your brother for who he is and what he does, not what your mother is and has done ######

Last Thanksgiving, my mom (53F) and I (24F) got into a fight about how my aunt treats me and my younger cousin who is transgender (13M). Side note: my mom adopted my little cousin several years ago, and he came out as transgender last year. He prefers to be referred to as male, which I will do in this post. My aunt is homophobic, and she has ostracized me from our family for over a decade for being a lesbian, so my mom asks me to tone down my lesbianism when we visit by not talking about girls, who I date, or anything pertaining to the LGBT community. I have accepted this and typically do so to keep her happy. My mom is a peacemaker and does not like to fight or upset anyone, and she thinks I should respect my Aunt and keep this to myself. Last Thanksgiving, I felt my mom crossed a line because she told my cousin that he had to go by his dead name at my Aunt’s and by female pronouns. This obviously made him really uncomfortable. It was also not easy for me to do, as I didn’t want to upset him and found it difficult to revert back to his dead name and opposite pronouns suddenly after calling him the other name for months. My mom refused to allow my cousin to tell anyone that he was transgender because “kids would be there” and that he would be grounded if he told anyone. She was angry at me for continuing to call him by his chosen name because I refused to switch back. I was super pissed on his behalf because I feel his coming out should be his decision, and that my mother should stand up for us more at holidays to my aunt. WIBTA if I refuse to hide my lesbianism to placate my aunt, as well as insist she treat my younger cousin with respect to his pronouns and chosen name? I understand that my mother doesn’t want to upset her sister, but as both a straight and cisgender woman I don’t believe she understands where my cousin and I are coming from and why we want the freedom to express ourselves freely when visiting family. ######

NTA. Your mother is asking your cousin to purposefully dehumanize himself. Being trans and being gay is nothing shameful, and shouldn’t be hidden because “there are kids around”. News flash. Some kids are gay, and some kids are trans. ######

I (f,21) have been buying icecream from our local icecream shop since the corona crisis forced it shut. They now deliver. I love their icecream and I want to support local buisinesses now as much as possible, which is why I buy from them as opposed to the supermarket. Their icecream is however really expensive. I can get one 150 ml cup for the same price as I could get a liter bin of icecream in the supermarket. Even Ben en Jerry’s is about half as expensive as this icecream. I pay about $30 for 1500 ml (But it has super intense and very experimental flavours, great quality). Now that I ordered their icecream (I order 10 small cups once per two weeks) my mom has been asking me for a cup, which is fine by me. A second one, also fine. But yesterday she asked for her fourth cup and I said no. She has been acting like i refused her love or something, but i simply don’t want to give away all my (expensive) icecream. I look forward to it, and even though I don’t mind sharing some of it, I do want most. I also ask her everytime I order if she wants some for her and my dad too. She always says no. (And then asks for mine). I feel really bad now because she makes a big deal out of it, and it’s just icecream. But then again, I asked her if she wanted any and she said no. I feel entitled to my icecream. Am I the asshole? ######

NTA. Your mother is a grown woman. Why can't she go buy her own ice cream? ######

I ( 18F) live with my mother and I recently asked for a key to lock my door because my family members keep barging in, my mom refused even though she clarified she trusts me completely because I live under her roof and she wants access to every part of the house "what if there's a fire and you fall asleep and I wouldn't be able to reach you because the door was locked?" she volunteered as a fire women so this is a legit concern she has. I worked hard to convince her: I told her my therapist said it was a good idea and she said it doesn't count because my therapist had a boy and she probably gave him a lock because she didn't want to catch him masturbate (which is *not at all* the reason why her *pure* daughter wants a fucking lock) and I got her friend to help me on my crusade. She relented and allowed me to lock the door after 8 pm and here is why I might be TA, I didn't ask when to return the key in the morning because I wanted to have as much time with the lock as I can, I assumed she would just ask me to give it when she feels like it, and in the meanwhile I locked the door even in the morning because it was nice (the first night was heaven, I could hear my younger sister trying to barge in only to fail because the door was locked ) and honestly- because I think my mom is being controlling and ridiculous. So my mom called me and as soon as I unlocked the door she was there demanding the key saying "the experiment was over" because I broke the rules (kept the key and locked the door in the morning), I told her she was just looking for an excuse to take the key and screamed at her that it wasn't fair, so she screamed at me back and told me I'm not allowed to close the door now. I am shaking with rage, I am not a baby ever sense I turned 18 I've been trying to let her know I'm an adult and she treats my repeated "I'm 18" arguments like it's a joke. AITA for purposefully breaking the rules? ######

NTA. Your mom was a volunteer firefighter but cant come up with a solution to get through a locked door in the event of a fire? ######

Gday all I’m 21, just turned 21 a week ago or something. I’m also Australian where being 21 means sweet fuck all, whereas I know in the US it’s a big deal. Over here when we turn 18 that’s like your 21. Anyway. Despite being 21, my mother still likes to tell me when I get home from work (full time, 8-14 hour days, tradesman so manual labour) to go have a shower, she’ll still tell me to brush my hair, brush my teeth all that very basic stuff. I’ve often said rather nicely she doesn’t need to tell me these things. I’m 21, I can manage my own life quite easily, and I will do these things at my own discretion at the times I please. Last night she said it again, I had got out of the shower, got changed and was walking to my room, where my hairbrush lives. On the way there she said “go brush your hair”. Which was exactly what I was going to do anyway. I considered this the last straw, I had a proper word with her about the fact that I’m 21 now, she NEEDS to stop this, and it’s no longer a joke. I NEED to be able to grow up myself, and she doesn’t need to continuously say for me to do very basic things like I’m 10 years old. This resulted in a massive argument. I ended up walking away, I’m not one to argue if it’s going nowhere, and then I drove to a mates place. Was I the asshole for finally putting my foot down and sternly saying what I thought needed to happen? Cheers! ######

NTA. Your mom sounds very very annoying. She can't accept that you aren't a child anymore. ######

This happened about 5 years ago, but my mom has brought it up recently and renewed the debate. A bit of background: my parents got divorced when I was 4 (17 now) and they VERY strongly dislike each other. The only reason they act somewhat civil is because of me. They have shared custody, so I live with each for half the week. My mom never remarried, so I remain her only child. My dad remarried to my step mom when I was 6 and she already had 2 daughters, one who is only a few months older than me. Anyways, I started asking to get my ears pierced the summer before 7th grade. My parents said I was too young to take care of them myself, but they were starting to consider it. Since I am my mom's only child (and therefore only daughter), she strongly believes she should be the one to experience all the girl things with me for the first time. She was very upset she didn't get to help me with my first period, as I was on vacation with my dad's family. She was almost resentful towards my step mom for helping me. She insisted on being the one to teach me how to shave, even though she refused to teach me, even when I started to look like Cousin It. Getting my ears pierced was also a "rite of passage" she wanted to go through with me. I kept asking, but she would always put it off. One day, my dad went to take my sister out to get her ears pierced, and asked if I wanted to go, too. I said yes, and we went to the typical place where little girls get their ears pierced. I sent my mom a picture and she was ENRAGED. She was very upset with me for "going behind her back" to do a "feminine rite of passage" with my dad and not with her. She told me she was going to take me and she was... she just never made time for it. She was also mad at my dad for not telling her beforehand. Maybe I should have at least told her in advance that I was going to get my ears pierced, but I was 11 and wanted them pierced lol. AITA? ######

NTA. Your mom sounds like she needs to find other ways to fulfill her life. ######

I got an IUD in August and told my mom I was getting it, she paid because i’m her daughter and she wanted to. Fast forward to October and my mom calls me at college and says she has a funny story. Mind you, we both tend to joke about my dad because he’s a character and they’re divorced. She says that my dad found out about the IUD because he saw paperwork that i had in my car that he was cleaning out while i was away. HE WAS FURIOUS. He called me mom and yelled at her over the phone about how i have an IUD and my mom was like “oh yeah i knew about that” and then my dad proceeded to yell at her for not telling him and she was like “she’s 18 and it’s not my place to tell you about her reproductive choices.” My dad is acting as if I needed his permission for this. I didn’t even need to tell my mom in the first place, but i chose to because we’re close like that. Anyways, this was a while ago but it still sits weird with me. He has no say in the matter. I don’t like that my dad felt obligated to know about this personal aspect of my life especially because he’s otherwise a very progressive, liberal man so it doesn’t really make sense as to why he’s trying to police my goddamn uterus. Idk thoughts? ######

NTA. Your mom is right, you’re 18 and it’s your body, so it’s your choice. You didn’t have to ask permission from anybody, including your dad, or even talk about it if you didn’t feel comfortable with it. Besides, he’s a guy. What reason could he reasonably give for preventing you from getting an IUD if you’ve already talked it through with your mother and decided that’s what you wished? ######

Backstory: my older sister (40) is sick. Has been going blind. Not entirely sure what is wrong. This has been going on for about 6 months now. She has her good days and her bad days. However, her bad days are bad. Doesn’t want to get out of bed, headaches, worse vision, etc. Now here is where my mom comes in. She is constantly texting/calling us (brother, other sister, and myself) to tell us my sister’s latest status. If we don’t show sympathy or call my sister within 24hrs, we get a group text saying how disappointed she is in us. At this point, I think we have all just gotten numb to her bad days knowing that it will get better in a day or two and she will be fine. Today, sister texted the family chat saying that her vision has been the worst it’s been since Tuesday. Nobody said anything for 15 minutes. 15 mins is enough time for someone to be taking a shower, making dinner, having sex, whatever. Mom sends a text to me, other sister, and brother saying how disappointed she is in us (yet again) because we didn’t respond in 15 mins. So I absolutely lost my shit on her. I told her that we aren’t glued to our phones, have lives to attend to and that our lives don’t stop the second we get a text message. I told her that of course we feel bad for our older sister, but give us some fucking time to respond before guilting us into it and stop micromanaging our lives. It wasn’t like the family group text changed the subject after my oldest sister texted us. We all just were doing something else. And honestly did not see her text to respond in 15 god damn minutes. So, AITA for telling my mom to chill the fuck out with the guilt trips? ######

NTA. Your mom is insulting you and your siblings and doing a disservice to your sister by equating "failure to immediately text" with "does not care about medical issues." Start a private text message chain with your ill sister to let her know how much you care. Next time your mom criticizes you, you can say "she and I have spoken privately about it" and your mom won't be able to weigh in or complain because she'll have no knowledge of the timing and content of your messages. ######

Throwaway as I don't want to use my main. When lockdown happened in March my mum asked could she stay with my wife and I while lockdown was happening as she was worried she'd get lonely during it. I asked my wife and we agreed as we both get on with her well and often go on holidays together abroad. I thought things were going fine but today my mum seems to have snapped. I said to my wife 'love you beautiful' and my mum snapped shouting 'how many times a day do you two have to say you fucking love eachother?' we were both taken back and I told her we probably say it 4 or 5 times a day which to us doesn't seem excessive. This annoyed her further and she said 'youve been together 8 years now. That's well past the honeymoon stage of saying I love you constantly'. My wife started crying at this point so I told my mum she had to apologise if she wanted any chance of staying under our roof or she could go home. She said a very sarcastic sorry and stormed off to her room and won't come out. My wife has asked me not to force her to leave because she doesn't want to create any drama and my mums probably just stressed from being in lockdown so long. I'm now starting to wonder if I'm an asshole for telling my wife I love her infront of my mum. We don't say it constantly around her, maybe twice a day and the other times are when it's just the two of us. ######

NTA. Your mom is insecure. If you guys say you love each other all the time, that means you have a strong relationship. Don’t stop saying it. ######

Was I in the wrong doing this? I(M18) was taking my brother (M16) to Target to get some things he needed/wanted, we get into the parking lot and as we are getting in, this car comes in next to us, and by the time I finish parking, a group of 5-6 girls our age comes out. As I was getting ready to get out of the car, I look at my brother next to me to tell him to put his mask on, and I see he’s looking at the girls wide eyed and mouth open. I’m tell him “dude, what are you doing? stop that, it’s disrespectful”. He says “disrespectful to who?”. I tell him “to your girlfriend and to those girls” He says “no it’s not” and he continues doing the same thing At this point I turn the car back on and pull back out of the parking spot, to go park on the other side of the parking lot. As I am on the way to the other side he says “what are you doing?” I didn’t reply and when I parked again he says “what did you do that for?” I just tell him “I told you what you were doing is disrespectful” He said “it’s none of your business and now we have to walk way more” We went into the store and everyone was normal until we get back home He told my mom for some reason and she took his side she said a bunch of stuff but in summary it was “what your brother is doing is normal, if he wants to look at a lot of girls to figure out what he likes, then he can. If you’re gay, stop trying to make him gay too, and if you’re hurt you’ve never had a girlfriend then get one” She then took my phone for 3 days, she just now gave it back to me. She took it for so long because I wouldn’t admit what I did was wrong, I finally did admit it just to get it back but I’m still not so sure I am starting to be convinced what I did was wrong but I need more opinions lmaoo ######

NTA. Your mom is enabling his behaviour that honestly would make me super uncomfortable as a woman. If I’m going to Target with my friends, we’re going shopping not to get creeped on. Honestly, I think it was a very kind and considerate thing of you to do. I hate when I pull up somewhere and have some creep staring at me. ######

I'm 20 years old and am looking to move out of my parents house. While looking for a house/apartment, my mother has made it clear that she wants me to put the tracking app Life360 on my phone and join the circle with her, my dad, and my younger brother. I used to have this app, but deleted it once I graduated high school, much to her dismay. She is an obsessive worrier, which she is keen to remind everyone of whenever situations like these come up. I am of the opinion that, as a adult, I don't want to have a tracking app on my phone so my mother can watch over me. Not that I sneak around, or that she would really stop me from going anywhere, I just don't like the idea. Everytime I say that she goes on a tangent about how she raised me, put a roof over my head for two decades, etc etc. The usual parent guilt trip, which makes me even more resistant to the idea. Is this a hill I should be willing to die on? Or am I just overreacting to a reasonable request in this new age of technology? ######

NTA. Your mom has to learn to let you grow up and leave the nest. Giving her the access that a tracker has on your life will mean she will forever hover and give unsolicited opinions about how you live your life. You’re an adult and when you move out it really isn’t her business where you are and what you’re doing day to day. Stand up for yourself this is definitely a hill to die on. It’s about privacy and basic boundaries and if you don’t enforce them now you’ll have much more trouble doing it later. ######

Hey Reddit, I want to know if AITA for telling my mom off bcoz of her ignorance about mental issues faced by teenagers? So this started off when I started talking about how Anorexia disorder has the highest mortality rate among all the eating disorders which affect teens and she laughed and told me that no such thing as anorexia exists and that teenagers do such things for attention seeking. I, a generally calm person was appalled at the ignorance of my own mother. I explained that just bcoz she did not suffer from this disorder or had a smooth sailing as a teen did not mean that everyone did. I even told her that when she was free she could check out about such things. Then she began to say that how in this generation only such things came up because they were so disrespectful and hanging out with wrong crowd and coupled with social media they were bound to have such problems. I then told her that Anorexia Nervosa was an old problem and that teens during her time also suffered from it. Long story short she did believe me and we got into an argument. So Reddit, AITA for pointing out my mom's ignorance during the argument? Should I have kept my cool and explained her calmly about the issue and why it is important? P. S. I am sorry for any grammatical mistakes which I may have made. ######

NTA. Your mom has to be blind. Anorexia has been around for a very long time. ######

So before I start I 1000% know I’m petty but I wanna know if I’m TA because she’s now crying and I feel like I’ve gone too far... So the other day she lost something, we were both looking for it and I was actively searching in front of her for this thing. During the search I got a text from my best friend that he’d been hit by a car while on his bike. Obviously I was crazy worried and other still looking for the thing my mind obviously wasn’t on the task anymore. My mum started to shout at me that I don’t care about her and her stuff. I explained what had happened and why my mind was wondering. Her response was ‘he’s just a friend, I don’t really care right now.’ Obviously this really annoyed me. Fast forward to right now. I’m currently looking for something of mine, I ask for her help. Not even a minute in she stops completely. I ask what’s up and she says she’s not bothered about my thing right now as she just got a text from her friend. Her friend had just been called a ‘fat cow.’ I said ok. She gave me daggers and I said what do you want me to say? No different to what you did to me the other day? She is now crying and has left the room? AITA? TLDR: Mum said she didn’t care about my friend so I said the same. ######

NTA. Your mom has some serious issues. ######

So, this is the story. I (17M) have a girlfriend (17F), we have been together for 2 years now. Since we started dating my mom has always had some things she dislikes, for example, me going to her house (while her parents were there) because she doesnt approve that. And I respect her opinion and have said to her she can have her opinion but I dont have to do it the way she wants me to do it. Recently I suggested going to the seaside with my friends and she supported it until I said my girlfriend might also go with us when she made a scene and forbid me to go if she goes. Today I told my mom I will invite my girlfriend to celebrate my name day and she went crazy, saying its not normal to go to someones house before marrying them, asking do her parents know (of course they know) and stuff like that. She attacked me and I said that she doesnt need to involve herself in my relationship as I do not in her marriage. Im on no speaking terms with my mom now and honestly, Im not sorry. Just dont know what to do anymore. Our relationship is awesome, my girlfriend is the most loving, caring person I know and I dont want to lose her. ######

NTA. Your mom has some pretty outdated views. Ignore her and just enjoy being with your GF. ######

I'm (17M) required to eat breakfast at 10:30am sharp and to finish by 11:00am (Lunch and Dinner also have their respective eating times but it was specifically a "violation" of the breakfast time schedule that caused me to write this). It's not the amount of time that's absurd, but rather the fact that I can't eat whenever the hell I want to eat in my home. Usually when it comes to food I just eat whenever I want to because I'm personally someone who doesn't mind being hungry for awhile and only eat when I REALLY need to. Additionally I hate eating breakfast, I've just always hated eating in the morning cause I never really have an appetite so early in the morning. I understand the old "My house, My rules" bullshit argument, but I'm 17 years old and I think its stupid that my parents have authority over my eating habits. I understand that my parents would be worried if I didn't eat at all since I'm a relatively skinny guy, but I always eat the food she "gives" (more like forces) me to eat, just at a much later time. Anyways the situation where the "AITA" question can apply to is today when I woke up pretty late \~10:40 and just decided not to eat the yogurt my mom told me to eat, and when she called at around 11:40 she yelled at me for like an hour for not eating some fucking yogurt. I understand that I didn't keep our "promise", but in my opinion I think its stupid to get that angry over some fucking yogurt. ######

NTA. Your mom has an eating disorder and is instilling it in her family. This is some weird shit. Move out when you can. ######

Throwaway My mom cheated on my dad and went and married her friend who is single. I am 30 years old and my salary is 120,000 dollars . My father recently went homeless.He was not able to pay rent as he was fired for his job. I live in a nice cozy two bedroom apartment in south Carolina. Since my dad was homeless from his job I have allowed my dad to live with me until he can find a new job which he currently is doing. I also started a retirement account for him as my dad always supported me through my life and helped me financially out whenever I need the help. He always supported my decisions unlike my mom. Anyway today my mom found out after I told my younger sister who is 25 years old about what I did with my dad. My younger sister told my mom and my mom found out. My mom's tone in the email was very bad as it sounded like she was yelling at me for favoring my dad and not her by giving my dad a place to say and set up a retirement account. I told my mom she has her girlfriend who could do those things for her in a response and my mom told me what about the house she let me live in when I was a child and what about the food she bought for me when I was a child. She emailed me through my work account as I have her on all my social media accounts blocked. I told her that she she never supported me like my dad and refused to help me out financially plus she cheated on him which I hate . I told her no I won't be supporting her financially and blocked her on ,y work email. I saw my mom on face book and she was ranting about how her child never does anything for her and how her male child is sexist and homophobic. So I was wondering if I am the asshole as I feel a little bit bad she is calling me a sexist and homophobic person and maybe my mom is right. So aita for blocking my mom and not giving her the same benefits as I gave my dad. ######

NTA. Your mom cheated, the gender of the person she cheated with is irrelevant. Furthermore, holding her duty as a parent (to feed you and put a rood over your head) is a toxic thing to do. It honestly sounds like your mother wrecked her relationship with you a long time ago and that's on her as the parent. ######

When I was 6, my mom hand picked out a dresser and bed frame and says that she “won’t let me” sell it. I am 26 (F) and have been living with my parents for the last few years to pay off my student debt- I am now mostly paid off and want to get back to having my own place, as at my age, that is of course what I prefer. I keep telling her that it is large and impractical (the apartments I’m looking at have even smaller bedrooms than our current one, in which the furniture is already too large- I’ve been getting bruises from running into the bed frame in the middle of the night for years). Plus, i need any extra space to set up a desk, as another reason for my needing to move is due to my job offering me the option to work from home. I feel like I definitely owe my parents for letting me stay- it’s something they really did not have to do. However my dad pays all the bills and my parents aren’t even actually together anymore. If anything I feel I should let my dad decide what he wants to do with the furniture- or rather what he wants me to do wit it. I feel like this is the silliest situation ever. AITA for refusing to take it or refusing to pay for a storage unit for the furniture? ######

NTA. Your mom bought furniture. Not you. Don't take it. She can store it or sell it or use it herself. The emotional attachment here is hers, not yours. Let her care for it. ######

I (37F) was recently (as in about a month ago) diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I have since told my husband, and my close friends, but my in-laws, including my BIL and SIL, don't know. This is mostly due to COVID-19 related SIP, (I wanted to tell them in person) but also I haven't had the words to tell them via phone call or text. As much as I love my in laws, they are...Really judgmental about mental health. Even though they are aware of my trauma filled childhood, which is what caused the DID, my MIL thinks that a "life coach and weight loss" (her words) will fix the entire situation. I want to be honest, but I also dread feeling like I am overreacting, like this is no big deal. The fear of their judgement is overpowering and triggering. I write a blog about auditioning and performing, and I recently wrote a post that talked about said diagnosis, and how it has been affecting my practice schedule/ emotions about performing...I was about to publish it, but then realized if my in-laws read it, they will now know about my diagnosis, and may feel upset that I did not tell them in person. I know they don't always read my blog, but you never know...A part of me just wants to do it, and get it over with, but I also don't want to hurt their feelings/ incur their wrath and judgement. WIBTA if I just posted the entry and wait for them to approach me? ######

NTA. Your mental health status is not something they are entitled to be notified of - especially when they've made it clear that honest discussions about the same are not going to be entertained in good faith. ######

Pre-info context: I met these friends in high school, but have been talking to them via Discord recently cuz...yeah. Both of us are 20F. Pre-info context 2: She has openly discussed having mental & developmental disorders, but to respect her privacy, I can only confirm that they’re socialization-based. Please do not diagnose her in this thread. ——— Due to recent events (protests right outside my door - for more context, I’m Black) my mental health has been suffering; since this group consisted of my best friends, I’ve felt comfortable talking out my feelings with them. Her mental health has been suffering as well; due to the COVID outbreak, she’s been struggling to find reliable work, as well as a place to stay. Yesterday, she was rejected from her dream job. Unfortunately this was her 10th rejection just in the past three weeks. Yesterday was ALSO a noteworthy day for protests in our city, and I personally know many who were affected. When I started talking about it, I was immediately confronted by two friends who told me to stop out of respect for my friend since she was already having a really bad day. I agreed. However, I noticed during the call that every time we tried changing the topic to ANYTHING else (even the lighthearted stuff) she would get mad and claim we were invalidating her feelings by not giving her the floor. When she gets mad, she yells and cries, and it kinda scares me a bit tbh. I ended up snapping then; I her that it wasn’t fair for her to expect us to talk about/comfort her at all times. I expressed that I felt silenced because I was told to yield the floor to her issues, rather than have a space to discuss mine. I wasn’t happy that everyone had collectively decided her feelings were more valid than everyone else’s and I was...tired. I left the call immediately after my outburst. I plan on apologizing regardless, but AITA here? ######

NTA. Your mental health is just as valid, you should be able to get support from them as well. I have a chat with 3 friends, and the other night all of us had had pretty bad days, but we all talked it through with each other rather than focusing one just one person all night, and it’s easily doable. NTA ######

I (16f) have to take meds twice a day. I have “trained” my cat to remind me to take them by giving her a treat at the time I take my meds, and now she’ll start begging me for a treat at the time I take my meds, and it reminds me. My cat is not quiet when she reminds me. She’s rather loud, but not as loud as my sister’s dog, who barks into all hours of the night. My sister (18f) keeps complaining that my cat keeps waking her up in the mornings with how loud she is. She keeps telling me to “shut the dumb cat up” and tells me that she’ll lock the cat outside next time she wakes her up. I told her she wasn’t going to do that, because the cat’s mine, first off, and second off, nobody complained about her dog. She got offended and tried starting a fight, while I just went straight to my parents. I told them that my sister was trying to put the cat out, and complaining about the noise of my cat while her dog is loud as hell and nobody says anything. My parents (dad specifically) got mad and had a talk with my sister, which was more of an argument. They told her that no, she would not be putting my cat out, and that if she did, she could go ahead and find another place to live. My sister came to me and got mad at me for going to our parents, and called me a snitch. She also told me that I should just take my meds at a different time so the cat will shut up, and I told her that I couldn’t.I told her I wasn’t going to shut my cat up for her convenience. She called me an inconsiderate brat and stopped talking to me. She keeps trying to lock my cat in a closet, though. AITA for telling my sister I won’t shut up my cat? ######

NTA. Your meds are important for you to take and the system with the cat is great as the cat certainly won't forget treat time. Your sister is a hypocrite for complaining about your cat if her dog is really as loud as you say (and also barks at these times), and she'd suck big time too if she actually put your cat outside. No worries, you were in the right. ######

I moved to this flat a year ago, like most of the Londoners I rented a room in a house share. We don't have any living room which restricts me socialising as much as I desire. That is the main reason I wanted to move out initially. Since I moved here, I requested from landlord to change just the bath as it was rusty and you can't clean it as more you try to clean more rusty it gets. Couple of months ago he called me on a Sunday saying, he is refurbishing the toilet and the bathroom whole together. It was nice of him to do some investment in the flat which let's his tenants to have humane environment. When the work done he decided to extend the job get the kitchen refurbished too and fit another room in the kitchen so that he can rent more rooms. It was the last drop. I had been looking for flats for couple of months and just before the lock down I found a decent room which is smaller but have a living room and a small garden just 20 pounds more than I am paying now and since I got an increase on my wages I can afford it. And the house hold seems so friendly and nice people. I will be sharing with 2 more people whereas I would share with 4 more people if I stay. When I agreed with my new landlord, I gave a month notice to my landlord and he flipped out. He said he paid 10k for his house just because I have asked. He said it's not fair of me letting him down. He offered 50 pounds discount as well. He wanted me to extend my notice for 2 more weeks, luckily my new landlord was fine with it so I accepted to extend. I told him that I asked him to change the bath a year ago not to put another room in the kitchen. I understand him that he did all this investments and there is already an empty room in the house but I think I deserve to live where the heaven I want to live. AITA for letting down my landlord? ######

NTA. Your landlord did not do any of those things for you, he did them to increase the value of his home and enable it to give him a better profit. You two are in a business relationship, you have no obligation to his feelings. Do not stay somewhere you don't like because the landlord guilt trips you, always have your own interests first. ######

So my husband (50) and I (47F) have four kids, two 13 year olds, a 15 year old and an 18 year old. Both me and my husband work long hours, especially now because both our companies have been affected by everything going on. Despite this, my husband or I try to cook a healthy meal every night for the family. Usually we try and cook at home 6 nights a week and then eat out or sometimes get fast food on Fridays. Sometimes though neither of us really want to cook, so we dont. We call these nights "fend for yourself night". The kids can really just make whatever they want, as long as they don't tear up to kitchen. This probably happens maybe once or twice a month at the most. I personally think that the kids are old enough to cook their own food or make a sandwich. But according to a woman I know, I might as well be starving them. Shes very much a helicopter mom to her three kids, (15F, 17M, 20M) and still does almost everything for them. Even the 20 year old. I find this ridiculous but they arent my kids so I mind my own business. We were on the phone the other night and she asks why I am talking and not busy cooking. I told her that I was very tired from work so we were having a 'fend for yourself night' and I had just had cereal. She starts getting very agitated with me and asks me why I am starving my kids. I told her that my kids usually help cook every night so if they want, they can cook something but they probably are going to have cereal as well. She started getting very mad at me about not cooking my children a meal and how they are not going to be able to eat because I am such a bad and lazy mother. I ended up ending the call by telling her that maybe in her family her almost adult children cant cook a simple meal, but my children are more than capable of doing so. I do feel bad whenever both my husband and I are too tired to cook a meal for my kids but I feel like they should be old enough to get their own food right? AITA for 'starving my kids'? ######

NTA. Your kids will be better prepared in the future by having this system. ######

AITA if I ask my neighbors to keep their kids from bouncing the basketball so early in the morning. They start about 6:30-7 am. I work nights as a nurse so this is the time I’m getting in bed. I’ve tried everything even earplugs,not the harming 3m ones lol, but I swear I can still hear it. Idk. Their screaming at top of lungs is another post. 😂. ######

NTA. Your job is stressful enough by itself. You need sleep to function. Ask them and their parents if they could do it later as you need sleep more than anyone at the moment. ######

Hi. So my whole life I (f16) have loved the taste of coffee but I have a sensitivity to caffeine. Normally I order decaf because it's so little caffeine it doesn't really negatively affect me. Today I went to a local chain coffee shop and ordered a decaf coffee. I was careful to mention my caffeine sensitivity and double-check that it was decaf. About an hour later I realized it wasn't decaf. I ended up shaking, having multiple panic-attacks, being incredibly nauseous, and unable to take my asthma medication because it is a stimulant. I sent a video to my friend freaking out because I haven't had an episode like this in years and she got really upset with me. She kept calling me a Karen and telling me I was being ungrateful and rude and that service workers mess up some times and I have to cut them some slack. I never said it was the service worker's fault and never even informed the worker of what happened. She isn't a service worker and has never had a job, but she seems to be taking this very personally and I don't know why. I could totally be in the wrong here so I just need to know, am I the asshole? ######

NTA. Your insensitive friends is TA, and if it were me I'd cut ties with her if she didn't apologize. I'd also alert the management, because they obviously weren't paying attention when you ordered and could make someone else very sick too. ######

Because of covid a lot of events had to be cancelled/postponed. As it happens, my nephew (let’s call him Zack) had his first birthday delayed. And that obviously sucks, I get it: celebrating the first birthday is a great milestone. Fast forward to now, and my in-laws are now planning to throw a delayed “quarantine party” for Zack. Cool, no problem, sounds like fun and we would love to be there. BUT here’s the kicker: my in-laws are hosting Zack’s party on MY son’s actual birthday. It’s worth noting that my son is old enough to know/understand that it’s his birthday but their grandparents, aunt and uncle will instead celebrating Zack’s birthday (who won’t even remember because he’s 15 months old). We were not asked in advance if this would be an issue for us, which it obviously is. This also means that my in-laws and my BIL/SIL are not available/not coming to my son’s birthday. They all claim this is the only weekend that will work for a birthday party that has already been delayed by five months. Because of the obvious conflict, my husband and I declined to attend the first birthday party. Now we’re being told that we’re being difficult and unreasonable. AITA for wanting to celebrate my son’s birthday on his actual birthday and for being pissed my son’s feelings weren’t taken into consideration at all? ######

NTA. Your in-laws are TA’s for saying you’re being difficult and unreasonable for wanting to celebrate your sons birthday. ######

My husband and I (early 30s) extended our lease for 6 months back in February, planning to buy a house between then and July. Our landlords are selling our house, so they will not extend further. Unfortunately, my husband was furloughed, so we’ve put the house hunt on hold until he’s landed a new gig. We live in the same city as our parents. My in-laws own a few different houses/units around our city. My mother in law can be difficult, so over the last 10 years we’ve avoided living in any of their places, despite the savings potential. When my husband was furloughed, my in-laws offered us a place to move in to for 1/2 of what we’re paying now. We thought it was very generous of them and agreed. We planned to move in July and stay there until we can buy a house. We’ve had this planned for a couple months now. Last week my MIL called and told me that they rented the unit we were supposed to move in to. She offered to let us move in to their house instead. Their house is huge and beautiful - we would even have our own floor with a separate kitchen, etc. But as I mentioned...my MIL is very overbearing. I’m also working from home full time until at least October. I mentioned this to my parents, who offered us up their sailboat to move to. It’s moored in the city, has enough space for us, and would be completely free except utilities and moorage. My parents normally sail over the summers, but can’t because of border restrictions, so it’s largely unused at the moment anyway. We decided this was the right option for us and would be fun. I grew up at times on a sailboat so this is not entirely out of my wheelhouse. We let my in-laws know and they are very upset. They feel as though we “hate” them and would rather live on an old boat than with them. Which I guess is...kinda true, but we don’t hate them. I feel bad for upsetting them, and I can see how this makes us look ungrateful. AITA for living on a sailboat instead of my in-laws very nice home? ######

NTA. Your in-laws are being overbearing. You and your husband are old enough to live wherever you choose. ######

Last week my BIL was arrested for domestic assault. He is out pending a hearing and is at my house because he isnt allowed near his wife for minimum 30 days. All day he has been whining about it and I told him off. He got drunk and threw something at her head and pinned her against the wall. He deserves what he gets imho. I dont want him here as we should be helping his wife and kids at this point not him but my husband is a softy about his brother and begged me to let him stay. I'm angry that he thinks this is all inconveniencing him. Husband says in being a jerk about it but I think I'm being fairly nice all things considered. So AITA for not being more hospitable? ######

NTA. Your husband sucks for even letting him stay since he’s a wife beater, and apparently admittedly so... but I understand his want to help out family. ######

My husband (47m) and I (35f) want a public opinion on my actions today. Obligatory, sorry I'm on mobile disclaimer. This morning I left to get groceries. I packed my car with insulated bags and a cooler with ice. This is my method when I know I'm going to several stores and want to keep cold items as cold as possible. Yesterday a friend told me she was having a bad week so we decided to meet for coffee sometime today. After I left she messaged me and we met for coffee after I left grocery store #1. The coffee shop is in the same town and we sat and talked for 45 minutes before going our separate ways. I went to grocery store #2, grabbed some items and my phone dings asking what I am doing. When I tell my husband I met with my friend for 45 minutes of coffee he starts yelling at me that I am a liar. That I am sneaking around. That I should have known that he and our son were waiting for me to return. I apologized for not telling him about the time the coffee meetup was happening. But, I did tell him yesterday that it was going to happen today. AITA for not telling him about it when it was happening and meeting her during my grocery run? ######

NTA. Your husband sounds paranoid and controlling ######

I have gestational diabetes so I’ve had to learn to use the lancet device and glucometer. Every chance he gets, my husband tries to grab the lancet device before me when he knows it’s time for me to do it. Today, I refused and he is furious and hurt. He says it’s a way for him to be involved in my prenatal care but the fear and anticipation of the needle are way worse for me when I’m not holding the lancet. ######

NTA. Your husband sounds like a bit of a prick to be honest. ######

On mobile. I'm currently breastfeeding my month old daughter. I do it wherever I happen to be in the house but mainly in my chair in the living room. Before my daughter was even born, I had chats with my 6 year old son and almost 4 year old step daughter. I explained what breasts were, what they're for, why daughter would be sucking and eating from them, how it's natural and not shameful, and it isn't something for them to stare at and make a huge deal out of. I had to have several repeat conversations with step daughter because she would stare and seemed to make a big deal of it. I answered all questions she had and I thought all was well. Today my fiance came to me and told me I need to breastfeed in our bedroom only. I told him it wasn't happening. He then told me his daughter tried breastfeeding on her mother and her mom is now throwing a fit because I do it in front of her daughter. AITA if I refuse to breastfeed in the bedroom? It leaves the kids mostly to their own devices. They wouldn't have someone to talk to, feed them, play with them, supervise them, etc. ######

NTA. Your husband sounds immature, so does your step daughters mom, the girl is only 4 and all 4 year olds have a wild imagination or copy things they see, it’s normal and you breastfeeding is COMPLETELY natural, anyone who disagrees is ridiculous. ######

My husband is very upset with me for a situation that happened yesterday, just wanting some outside opinions on it. I am a stay at home mum to a 10 month old and 3 year old. Yesterday my mum invited us around for lunch to catch up with the family which we went to and was fine and my friends wanted to catch up for afternoon tea. I was initially going to take the baby with me which was husband's preferred option to that but as she had had a busy day with no nap so I put her down before I left. Husband is upset because she woke up after 20 minutes and fell back asleep on him for the duration of me being away. He said he had anxiety that she would wake up and want a milk feed or scream her head off and he wouldn't know what to do and is also upset that we agreed that I would be away for a shorter period of time - I was with my friends for 2 hours then he asked me to pick up tea and the line was long taking about 45 min so was away for 3 hours total. I felt he should be feeling more comfortable looking after baby as she is 10 months old now, I breastfed her before I left so she didn't need milk and is generally a happy chill wee girl. I suggested he should start doing more for her, especially given I go back to work in 2 months time so she needs to get used to other people looking after her. She was sweet as when I was away by the way. He thinks I'm an asshole for turning it back on him and not seeing his perspective. So, AITA? Edit just to add he had hoped to have some time to himself so having little one wake up threw a spanner in the works. He did what he would have done anyway just with child asleep on him, watching Netflix and he gets time to himself in the evenings too while I'm usually up and down with kids not wanting to go to bed. Also I remembered I got my hair done friday and he looked after the kids for a similar amount of time with no worries. I really don't know what's up ######

NTA. Your husband needs to step it up. He’s a father. He should know how to care for his kid. It’s not like it’s his first, either. Women are expected to just know all this shit, and it’s never questioned that dad goes out and leaves the kids with mom. But reverse it? Suddenly it’s babysitting and mom needs to leave detailed instructions for dad. Nah. He had a part in making the kid, he needs to take his part in raising it. ######

We have been married for 7 years. The first half, at least was pretty rough. He kept several flirtationships hidden. Some went too far. We have worked on things and it’s been pretty quiet but I know I still have some lingering trust issues. A few days ago he started messaging the woman that cuts his hair to see if she would come over to our house to cut his hair. I let him know I wasn’t comfortable with that for a lot of reasons, mostly not having some stranger walking around the house. He took my objection as insecurity and let me know he talks to attractive women all the time. He then told me a funny story about his coworker betting him $20 that he couldn’t get an attractive woman’s name in 1 minute at a place they were working. He got her name, it just took a little longer than a minute. I was thrown off by that and let him know I didn’t think that was ok. He told me” I thought we were past all that”. I personally didn’t think it was a cute story but now he’s made it clear he just won’t tell me so I don’t overreact. AITA for taking issue with his bet? Or objecting to having a random person over at the house? ######

NTA. Your husband is very inappropriate and if his behavior doesnt change drastically it may be time to think about changing his title to (ex) husband. ######

[Slyvy Bear](https://www.flickr.com/photos/69228620@N03/49777975553/in/dateposted-public/) is 16 and sadly it looks like she's nearing the end of her life. She's struggling to put on any weight and has a bowel tumor. I'm heart broken. I bottle fed her. She's my girl. I'm not ok, I'm not sure I'll ever be ok once she's gone. My husband wants to bury her at his parents house, with all his pets. I want to cremate her so I can always have her close to me. Hubby says that's creepy but I don't care and told him that his opinion doesn't matter. He says that he doesn't want a dead pet in the house and I'm being a unreasonable bitch AITA? ######

NTA. Your husband is though. ######

My husband is cooking dinner tonight. He told me to go for a walk after he finished work because it had been a long day inside with the kids. I happily obliged and went for a 10 minute jog. I got home, he had started dinner and the house smelled great. I told him this as well. He declared though that I would so not like it and I asked why. He was adding chickpeas to the dish (he knows I hate the taste of chickpeas). I didn’t say anything, I just asked if I could help with cooking. He was saying that he doesn’t like how I get annoyed when he cooks something I don’t like. Now I hadn’t said anything and I didn’t think I made a face, I just stood there and did what I could to help. I told him that it was fine, he is the one cooking and if he wants chickpeas that’s what we have. He went on to say that he could tell I was annoyed and he didn’t like that. I told him he is right, I don’t like chickpeas but I’m not angry or annoyed. It’s not the first time that he had knowingly used an ingredient I don’t like so I wasn’t surprised. I know if I eat around the chickpeas he’ll get annoyed, so even though I hate them I’ll probably just eat a couple. But he’ll still get annoyed if I don’t eat them all. Am I the asshole for not wanting to eat a particular ingredient in tonight’s dinner? He says I rolled my eyes and that I’m ‘visibly annoyed.’ ######

NTA. Your husband is honestly coming across really passive aggressive. He knows you don't like chickpeas, and has gone out of his way to have a one sided fight with you about it. This also doesn't sound like the first time he's done something like this. Is there something bothering him where he feels the need to behave like a butt? ######

Yesterday my husband told me that he wasn’t feeling that great, his head hurt and his stomach was bothering him. I told him that’s fine, I’d handle the kids, he could rest. But the issue became that he chose to rest on the couch, in the living room. We don’t have a huge house. Our living room is where most of our kids’ toys are, their books, activities, etc. Our kitchen and living room are also open concept so you can see into one another. Keeping the kids cooped up in their rooms all day wasn’t easy so my husband could rest without being disturbed (and he did ask me to make sure they didn’t). But I did it, because it’s one day. Then this morning, I got up and went into the living room. He was already on the couch and watching TV. I asked how he was feeling and he said not much better, he was debating a doctor’s appointment for Monday. I said that’s fine but if he was going to spend another day laying down, it had to be in our room. We have a TV in there (albeit smaller), and it’s just easier for me to have more room for the kids to run around. He said that he was the sick one, why should he have to be in his room? I said for just that reason, if you’re sick, you should be in bed. I told him I’d still care for him in our room, but for our kids’ sakes, this was easier. He got mad at me, but went back to bed. All throughout the day I got comments about how loud the kids were being and that he was trying to rest, and this is why he wanted them in their rooms. I tried to keep them as quiet as possible but they’re between the ages of 2-5. It’s not easy on top of everything else I had to do today (like clean the house, cook,etc.) When I dropped off his dinner, he told me I made him feel worse. Am I an asshole for what I did today? ######

NTA. Your husband is being unreasonable and acting like an entitled child. Why should he get to commandeer the social areas of your home because he’s sick? You’re right, he should sequester himself to the bedroom and stop acting like a child. ######

I've had a sinus infection the last few days. Mild fever, congestion, light sensitivity, vomiting, etc. Told him I was going to bed early since I wasn't feeling well, 30 minutes later baby starts crying. "Damn, I don't want to get up." So, husband got up, picked up baby, and handed him to me and sat back down. I glared for about a minute, then got up and changed him, made a bottle (cursing rather profusely the entire time), fed him, burped him, put him back to bed and started crying. Husband asked what was wrong and I said that I felt he was no help and it just hurts when I'm not feeling well. He said he didn't know and "isn't a mind reader" and didn't see or hear me get up to change him and feed him and would have done it if I had asked. Am I the asshole for feeling that he should be more observant and thoughtful? Or should I just constantly tell him what to do? ######

NTA. Your husband is an adult parent. You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to know that when your partner is sick, you pick up some of the slack to let them rest and recover. That includes parenting your own dang child. You shouldn’t have to ask, he should know. I’m betting he DOES know, and he’s just using this awful excuse now that you’ve called him on it. ######

So 10 months ago my fiancé and I bought a home which was in good repair but for a few renovations and personal touches. I had a townhouse that needed to be sold in order for us to make up the asking price along with a partial home loan but we were going to lose out on the house as the townhouse hadn't sold. My parents stepped in and helped us with the short fall with the understanding they would be reimbursed when the other property sold. The new place is large with 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, kitchen, lounge and diner. My fiancé and I both work full time but have repainted the whole inside of the house, refloored the last bedroom(the other two were done by a contractor to expedite the process, we moved in two weeks after the sale was finalized) started renovating the kitchen, added a vegetable garden and some flower beds, overhauled the security system installing cameras , exterior beams and lighting and recently put up a small greenhouse. My parents feel that we are not doing the renovations fast enough and that they are entitled to criticize what we have done because they helped us out. They've been reimbursed for the money they helped us out with but will have a problem with the curtain rails we put up or the placement of items. We are concentrating on the inside of the house they want the window frames and gutters outside to be done. I like having my crafting projects around me, they want them packed away and they feel my fiancé games too much. With the advent of the pandemic we are now both working from home and my parents seem to think that means we should be getting more done with the yard work and renovations because we are at home. Am I the asshole for wanting to do things my way in my home? ######

NTA. Your House, Your Rules. Ask them to respect your boundaries. ######

So I'm 20 and recently bought a house last July. I spent the next couple months renovating and moved in last December, into what was basically a brand new house. I had redone absolutely everything, most of it myself. Anyways, a couple months later in February my uncle came over, and I have no problem with him but I told him not to bring his child over, shes 6 and has a tendency to be way overactive and hyper and break things. I told him not to bring her over, yet he did anyways. Well she ended up ramming her dumbass little head straight through some drywall. She was okay because shes a child, but they left pretty soon after that. After I patched the drywall and painted the wall again I sent my uncle an invoice for the damage his child cost me, and he said it should be forgiven since it was a child who did it, not him. I told him his child is his responsibility until shes 18 and that means covering damages she causes, and that I dont want her over anymore until shes in her teens or at least much better behaved. He told me I was petty, but I dont think so. AITA? ######

Nta. Your house your rules. I would expect money for the repairs too. Even though it was something small like a hole in the wall. What if she cloghed your toilet with something causing damage and burst pipes I would expect them to pay.. he should have been watching her and stopped it before it happened. ######

This happened some time ago but I haven't mentally resolved this yet, so now I am asking Reddit to hopefully give me some closure! I (M) once hosted a home party for my best (guy) friend and about five girls that came along. I know all of these people so I was fine with it, But during the party, some of the girls asked me if it was okay for some other friends to come along (people that I didn't know), so I complied since I didn't want to be a buzz kill. Fast forward a few weeks and they're asking me again if we could have a party at my place (they want to party at my place because I own a pretty neat sound system) and I said yeah sure. Unbeknownst to me, my friend said "yeah two guy friends of mine will also come, you don't know them but they're cool people". That's where I have had enough and told them that it was okay for the girls to come but I do **not** want some strangers coming to my place. I don't want them to have access to my personal belongings and other private things that they have no business knowing about, period. Good for you if you think you can "trust" these people that you met ONCE or twice at a night club, but I certainly don't trust them or anybody for that matter. I don't know who tf those people are and I don't care to find out who they are if the first time I meet them will be at MY place. So they cancelled on me, saying that I have trust issues and that I am being irrational for not trusting THEM because they wouldn't invite sketchy people, but I stand by my choice. I personally believe they are being petty and narcissistic because they are butthurt that they can't take advantage of me and my sound system. So they hosted the party at one of the girls' place and I wasn't invited. AITA? ######

NTA. Your house so it’s your space. Don’t have to have people over who you don’t want to have in your space. Simple as that. ######

for context: i 19M am a really big, overweight and somewhat hairy guy. when i am home, i love to be without a shirt because i get pretty hot (especially now with spring being here) and really sweaty, plus it's more comfortable. i lived alone up until january this year. i pay all my bills and go to work everyday. in february, my uncle went homeless and needed a place to stay, so i decided to give him a hand just so he had somewhere to stay. he sleeps in my living room since i only have 1 bedroom. he cooks and cleans everyday, so i have no problem with him not paying rent until he gets a job. with it getting warmer now, along with the stay at home orders going on, im home more often, and when i'm home, i absolutely hate wearing a shirt. i of course will wear something if i have company mostly because i do get self conscious, but other than that i go shirtless. since my uncle moved in, i don't go shirtless around him often, but i've grown to be more comfortable around him and not care if he sees me without a shirt. recently he asked me if i please wear clothes around him because it makes him uncomfortable to look at my body. it kinda hurt but i told him it's my house, and if he didn't like it, he can go. i don't get up in his business or hang around him. i spend 90% of my time in my room and only see him if i go to the kitchen to get food or talk to him for like 5 mins, so he doesn't see me frequently. i thought about it and maybe he has a point? i just want some unbiased opinions about this. ######

NTA. Your home your rules. He can look the other way, buy you an extremely comfortable shirt or move out. ######

I have 3 kids, 2 of whom look like carbon copies of my husband. My husband is a light skinned black man and I am white. My third child is very dark, much darker than anyone in my husband's extended family with the exception of one great aunt. This led to a lot of "jokes" and snarky comments about my son not really being my husband's. My husband has never doubted me so it doesn't bother me too much when they're directed at me, but it makes me insane when people say things to my son. He got picked on a bit in school over this. It used to really bother him. At one point, my husband's great uncle made a "joke" about it to my son and me, and my husband's great aunt (who is the only one who resembles my son in complexion) chimed in that clearly my son is the result of an affair between me and her. Since then, it's become a bit of an inside joke between my son and I and seems to have helped him a lot with the rumors. My husband's great aunt has long since died, but the inside joke lives on. My husband's brother heard my son and I joking about it recently and went off at us for disrespecting his great aunt. He thinks it's rude to her memory and to her late husband to imply that she's a lesbian. I said that she made the joke originally, but he said we shouldn't repeat it because she was old and a bit less sharp at the time she said it. I told him we have every right to have this inside joke seeing as we've been the butt of so many "jokes" about my son's parentage. My husband says he supports me but that he wishes I had just agreed with his brother and didn't make jokes when he was around. AITA for making these jokes with my son? ######

NTA. Your great-aunt-in-law clearly had a sense of humor and understood how it felt to look so different in a light-skinned family. She had a witty comeback that simultaneously helped her great-nephew feel included and also the comment-maker feel like an ass. Good on her and on your for keeping her sharp wit alive. However, if your husband is uncomfortable with the joke, maybe just keep it between you and your son. ######

Back story: my cousin is 13 and has some learning delays. She cant. Be left alone due to her have a very childlike mindset and get into things. I was told by my grand parents (who I live with when not at school) that my cousin would be coming to live with us over the summer. Now I normally have no problem with her visiting. However, I have 3 jobs lined up and plan in working basically 24/7 to save up for bills, my rent for my apartment next year, insurance and for school. With my cousin being there id be relied on to babysit. And in my family you dont get paid to babysit family. It would be extremely hard to work, sleep and babysit all at the same time. Also i will be giving up 90% of my room. I have a very small room as is. My twin bed takes up over 50% of it. I love my cousin and i know her mom is kind of a jerk and doesn't take the best care of her but idk what else to do. Ive talked to my grandparents about it and even they seem hesitant. However, they keep saying ill have to figure it out and help because they cant do everything. I feel like im putting my financial stability at risk just so my aunt can get a break from her kid. AITA? ######

NTA. Your grandparents have to understand that if she comes to live with you guys then *they're* responsible for her care, *not* you. ######

Me (16f) and my girlfriend (17) have been dating for about two years. When I first came out to my family they were a little skeptical at first but have ultimately been pretty supportive of me and accepting. My gf met them about a year ago and her and my family hit it off immediately. Since then she’s been invited to many of our family functions My grandma (79) has short term memory loss so it’s obviously not very easy for her to remember certain details. She’s met my girlfriend like 8 times at different functions and everytime she says “oh who’s this honey? You’re friend?” And I always say, no grandma she’s my girlfriend. To which her response is “oh..” it’s not always said in the most happy tone but she always kisses us both on the cheek and wishes us well. Recently at school my friend was asking us how our relationships was going and my gf responded “good except for that homophobic grandma” and I was so confused bc like, What?She said that my grandma always ‘deliberately’ referred to her as my friend and clearly did not support us. I told her that was ridiculous because she’s never said an ill word towards the two of us and she literally c a n t remember who she is. My gf said that I could pick my grandma over her if I really wanted but, “I was being ridiculous”. I thought there was no possible way people could think I was an asshole but all my friends took her side and said that I should’ve informed my grandma before brining my gf up or kept her away from the party. I’m honestly shocked by this so reddit AITA? ######

NTA. Your grandma cannot control her memory loss. I also think your friends and gf are insensitive. They may not have ever had to deal with an aging grandparent, so they may have no idea. But it’s really not an excuse. ######

I (26M) had been dating my girlfriend (23F) for a few months now. We were at her house trying to tidy the attic and then we found some pictures of her as a teenager with some friends. I asked her how popular she was at school. I was quite popular, had a lot of friends, and was just wondering. What she said turned my mind around. She said she used to have some sort of "mini gang" of friends who were always criticising and insulting this other group of girls. I asked why. She said one of the girls in the other group lost a parent to cancer and had since been upset, not talkative, and randomly crying. She said the girl was a crybaby in a 15 year old's body and should just "get over it". The other girls apparently always were comforting the upset girl. She called them the four teen mums due to their hugs and support. I was upset about this. I've lost two grandparents to various cancers, and I was very upset when it happened and I understood what it was like to be the girl who was upset. I also didn't think my girlfriend had any remorse or regret for what she had done judging by how she spoke of the girl and her friends. We finished tidying the attic and then I went home later that day. I had since been only responding to some of her messages, and our country has went in lockdown. When she asked about my constant inactivity, I told her the truth. She was angry and yelled at me on the phone that her past shouldn't matter to me and that the girl shouldn't be important. As someone who has lost loved ones to cancer, I disagree. She has since been cold with me, I have tried talking to her several times and calling her but she just ignores me. AITA? ######

NTA. Your girlfriend isn't a teenager anymore. She's well past the age where she should realize that shit isn't okay. I would have said everyone sucks here if she felt bad about who she used to be, and you didn't give her a chance. But it sounds like she has no remorse. In which case, yeah. She's the asshole. ######

FYI, I come from northern India, and do not look like the stereotypical Indian in western media. Indians come in all shapes and sizes. My friend is presumed to be chinese but he is from North East India! About two months ago, I stopped a couple of people from sexually harassing a woman on my way to get groceries and walked her home. No big deal, it's the least I could do. Said woman found me attractive and asked me out for netflix and chill since we live in the same dorm. I found her attractive, I said yes. Relationship was going really smoothly for the most part, we even said I love you to each other. She randomly asks me where my accent is from, and I tell her it's kind of a mixture because I grew up in India but went to summer school in Chile. She looks at me and tells me she is kind of shocked because I didn't 'look' Indian. Then she asks me if I am hiding any creepy behavior from her. At first I thought she was joking, but turns out she was pretty serious. I tell her she has no reason to doubt me, and I am also kind of hurt since she knows that I was willing to risk my life for her the first time she met, and now she is doubting me inspite of all the experiences we have had because I am Indian. I decide to not bring up the matter again but I came to know that she dmed 2 of my close female friends, and asked them if I ever showed any problematic behavior, and they obviously seemed very confused by the whole thing. She REPEATEDLY asked them to recollect any instance, which was alarming to me. So I confronted her about it through text, and told her she was being incredibly shallow and hurtful. I am genuinely confused by the whole thing. I really cannot see where she is coming from, so I thought asking you guys might help. Have a wonderful day and stay strong through the virus. I am good at math, feel free to pm me your high school calc questions(only half joking) ######

NTA. Your girlfriend is a racist. Break up with her. ######

So this might be a long one but here goes. My girlfriend (F22) and I (M25) have been living together for about 2 years, during those 2 years I have been studying while at the same time working a part time job while my girlfriend has been working full time. We have seperate accounts but we split rent, electricity and groceries evenly. However when something has to be paid for e.g. new phone, new clothes, feeding for the guinea pigs/fish I pay, basically anything that isn't the standard things I pay for it. My reasoning for this is: its easier to keep track of expenses this way and it doesn't matter who's account it comes out of since it is our money anyway, because whenever we discussed these types of things we both agreed it was both our money. So now for my last year of studying I wont be able to work since I have to do like a full time intership with a thesis. Sorry I told her we could use some of the money we saved to pay for my college (about €10.000) and she told me I should save up for it on my own so I will be doing my best more (I have the money because everything that I always have left over I invest in the stockmarket). So I have done what she said and I now only buy stuff for myself since what I thought was our money has now apparently become her money. So today when she asked me to come with her buy more fish for the aquarium I told her since she decided to buy it without discussing it with me when I was gone, its her aquarium so I wont be helping her pick out fish nor pay for it since our finances are now apparently separate. She's now saying I can use "our" money to use for college but I declined and said I'd rather save up for it myself and keep our finances separate. So reddit AITA? ######

NTA. Your girlfriend changed her mind when her own rule came back on her slightly. ######

My girlfriend was hanging out with a friend and was drunk by the time her friend left. She came upstairs and hung out on the couch with me. I was looking for food on Uber eats. I asked if she wanted anything. Her response was, "I can't imagine eating anything right now. Just get food for yourself." I took her statement at face value. She was drunk but she was also high on coke which definitely will curb your appetite. When my food came she was hungry. I offered her my dumplings, she declined. I offered to order her food, she declined. I offered to cook her food, she declined. She was so upset I didn't get her food when I ordered my food. On top of everything my food sucked, it was Chinese food that was overly salty. From her perspective she "needed me in that moment and I just wasn't there for her." The following day she wouldn't talk to me at all. I think she's being unreasonable but I want a non-biased perspective. If you think I'm the asshole please tell me. Apologies for the dirty laundry of a story. Thanks! ######

NTA. Your girlfriend acts like an AH when she’s drunk/high. That’s not unusual, but it’s also not an excuse. ######

This happened when I was 14 in 2001, but it comes up sometimes. I was living with my parents and brother, we were pretty broke so we never got gifts. For my brothers birthday he was giving a CD player/radio boom box thing for his room. For him that meant entertainment and fun and mind expansion etc. For my birthday I was given an electric razor to shave my legs outside of the shower with no water. My parents said I wasted way too much water shaving and now I was not allowed to shave in the shower ever again. This was my only gift and I was upset and said I’d rather have a gift that stimulated my mind, something I could enjoy, like my brother got. It ended up in both of them yelling at me and calling me selfish and saying to be grateful I got anything. I said they were sexists and I got grounded. Discussing this the other day my parents still maintain that I was being a jerk. AITA? ######

NTA. Your gift was wrapped in shame and punishment. Sad. ######

I was brought up as a Muslim and to all intents and purpose I still consider myself as one. I try to follow the religion as best as I can and I figure the disagreements are between me and God. My GF really really loves Ru Paul's Drag race, it's not my thing and I have no interest in it. After this current issue is over, she wants to go to a show and wants me to dress up in drag. I refused, explained it's not my thing and told her to take her friends instead. I thought that was the end of it but she's been bringing it up almost twice a week now and I was getting tired of it. The last time she asked I explained that I wasn't going, that I don't agree with men dressing up as woman and want to not be asked again. I thought that was the end of it, but now I'm getting bombarded by her friends asking why I won't go with some going as far as to call me homophobic. There's a saying in my religion which is pretty much "you have your beliefs and I have mine" which is how I try to live my life. I'm not going to tell someone how they should live their life, I'm not going to insist they change anything; I only have control over my life. I don't want to go, I don't want to dress up in drag; end of. We're not living together at the moment so I'm just ignoring her as I feel it's kinda shitty to try and get her friends to gang up on me. ######

NTA. Your gf is being really overbearing and controlling. Even if you *did* support drag, it puts you under NO obligation to dress in drag. ######

I've already posted here before but I'm going to post again because I had something else happen to me recently.  Background: I have a slight lisp that's easy to hear whenever I speak. Friends have pointed it out and joked about it but they know when to stop since I'm insecure about it. Often times, they'll repeat how I pronounced a certain phrase and say how it's unique and what not and that they enjoy picking out stuff I've said differently than them. I don't mind it.  Though, recently I was at a family member's house and they know how I can easily get upset whenever my lisp is pointed out. As I was talking to them, pronouncing words as best as I can, they kept on saying completely different words as if to point out that they couldn't understand me. I kept trying to say the same word over and over again (even though I knew I was saying it correctly) and yet, they still acted like I wasn't pronouncing it right.  Fed up, I had went back to room and heard them call after me, saying it was a joke.  To cut it short, the next morning they tried explaining to be that it wasn't nothing to get upset about and that they weren't doing anything wrong towards me. They explained that they were only joking and that I needed to suck it up and get a sense of humor. However, I tried to explain to them that it was something I was sensitive about and could only deal with so much before I become humiliated by my voice and that it was one of the things I had a problem with the most.  Am I the asshole for getting pissed off at a joke? Should I get a better sense of humor? They told me that I needed to act more mature about it and get over how I sounded but everytime I try, something like this happens and I don't have the confidence to do better.  ######

NTA. Your friends seem to know what your boundaries are. Your family members not. This post reminds me a lot about the guy messing with the deaf girl and making her bad about her deafness. In example when someone is small, friends can maybe make joke if everything is well received. But to overlook someone consistently to mock him would be maybe similar hurtful. So your Family members are definitely TA. ######

OK, this is a throwaway, on mobile, English isn’t my first language, etc. So I (M20) live with another guy (M19), who I’ll refer to as Red. Red’s autistic, and he’s not a party person. I am. He also is extremely camera-shy, like he’ll go out of his way to hide if someone is taking a photo that he could appear in. That’s perfectly fine, but I still like my parties. So we came up with the Forbidden Room. The Forbidden Room is a small room we have, that we made super comfortable with a fuckton of pillows, a mattress, and noise-cancelling headphones. Whenever a party stresses him out, or people are taking a lot of photos, he locks himself in the Forbidden Room. There’s two keys, one is with me, the other is with him. I never specified what the Forbidden Room is. I only told people it’s locked, and so they can’t access it. (Which is true — Red unlocks it to enter). The arrangement works great for Red and I. A few days ago, someone in the group WhatsApp casually mentioned Red disappears in parties, so I mentioned the Forbidden Room’s purpose. (Red knew I was telling them.) My friends are all now mad at me, because that’s not a real reason to lock up a room, and that they like Red, and want to chill more with him, and by doing this, I’m essentially allowing him to remain socially distant from others. They’ve demanded entry next time to the Forbidden Room, and I’ve denied them; and they tried to compromise by saying anyONE can have a downtime in the room, and I’ve refused that. Red’s argument is, he can’t tolerate being social for very long, and some of my friends have taken pictures and posted them online without his permission, and created a scene when he asked for it to be taken down; and that he doesn’t trust they’ll use the Forbidden Room responsibly, and it doesn’t solve his need to hide in a place on his own. So, AITA for having a forbidden room that only Red is allowed in? ######

NTA. Your friends in the other hand... They're "demanding" entry? That's just plain rude. They think you're "allowing" Red to distance himself? I disagree, you are just being a good roommate who has come up with a creative solution to your roommate's needs. Sharing the room would defeat it's purpose so good for you for sticking to your guns. As someone who is not autistic but is extremely introverted with social anxiety to boot, I might borrow this forbidden room idea for when my extroverted partner wants to have people over. It's clear from your description that your friends don't understand Red or his needs, and you do. Good for you. Best of luck! ######

Recently, one of my close friends that I have known since high school passed away. I reached out to his mother the night that I found out, and she told me that I was very special to her because I was his friend, I would always be welcomed in her home, and she would give me the details regarding his service when she had them. However, my friends, girlfriend has a list of people that she doesnt want to be there, and I am on that list solely because she is friends with my ex, who will probably be present as well. AITA if I show up anyway? Should I reach out to her and try to change her mind or console her? In my head and in my heart, it would not feel right if I was not present. I feel very hurt, and I would rather just act cordially and not speak to any of them. My ex and I seperated almost 3 years ago so I don't feel like this is the time to be bringing any of this up. ######

NTA. Your friends girlfriend doesn’t get to dictate who can attend his funeral. ######

Recently, one of my close friends that I have known since high school passed away. I reached out to his mother the night that I found out, and she told me that I was very special to her because I was his friend, I would always be welcomed in her home, and she would give me the details regarding his service when she had them. However, my friends, girlfriend has a list of people that she doesnt want to be there, and I am on that list solely because she is friends with my ex, who will probably be present as well. AITA if I show up anyway? Should I reach out to her and try to change her mind or console her? In my head and in my heart, it would not feel right if I was not present. I feel very hurt, and I would rather just act cordially and not speak to any of them. My ex and I seperated almost 3 years ago so I don't feel like this is the time to be bringing any of this up. ######

NTA. Your friends family wants you there. You should go. ######

So my freinds found out about a way to get American Netflix when we are in Australia. And one of my freinds didn't want to tell me. But the other one convinced that friend to tell me. So they told me and I was happy. I went home to my dad and told him all about it. He then proceeded to tell me about how it will never work, and if it does he will pay me a hundred dollars. It worked and we watched a movie from American Netflix and it was great. I then told my freinds all about my hundred dollars I got. And I was so happy They then said I owed them 25 bucks each, for them telling me. We never agreed to this in the first place and I felt cheated. I obviously disagreed, but they corned me into doing it untill I just started crying and I gave them both the money the next morning. They asked if my parents where ok with, and they weren't so I said no. Then they gave the money back. Only because my parents weren't ok with it. So please tell me Reddit AITA? ######

NTa. Your friends are opportunistic, selfish assholes. Get new ones. ######

Hi. So my whole life I (f16) have loved the taste of coffee but I have a sensitivity to caffeine. Normally I order decaf because it's so little caffeine it doesn't really negatively affect me. Today I went to a local chain coffee shop and ordered a decaf coffee. I was careful to mention my caffeine sensitivity and double-check that it was decaf. About an hour later I realized it wasn't decaf. I ended up shaking, having multiple panic-attacks, being incredibly nauseous, and unable to take my asthma medication because it is a stimulant. I sent a video to my friend freaking out because I haven't had an episode like this in years and she got really upset with me. She kept calling me a Karen and telling me I was being ungrateful and rude and that service workers mess up some times and I have to cut them some slack. I never said it was the service worker's fault and never even informed the worker of what happened. She isn't a service worker and has never had a job, but she seems to be taking this very personally and I don't know why. I could totally be in the wrong here so I just need to know, am I the asshole? ######

NTA. Your friend sucks. Call into the store and explain the problem and be very kind about it. 9/10 times they'll be super horrified and train their staff to be more careful. Sorry that happened! ######

My close friend and I are dating 2 girls that are also close friends. When it comes to relationships, my friend is a psycho. He made her delete every guy off of her Snapchat, he has her location and her instagram log in and her Snapchat log in. He has 0 trust for her, cusses her out all the time, she can’t do anything without asking his approval first not even going out with her parents, he doesn’t even let her wear shorts outside. She has to filter everything she says because he takes everything the wrong way and cusses her out. She’s been very patient for the past 6 months they were dating, but the entire 6 months they fought a lot every single day. Of course, I knew about everything because my girl would tell me and my friend would tell me. I’m also friends with my girls close friend too and I care about her. Basically, her life is hell and she has to censor everything she says and has anxiety 99% of the time because he cusses her out if she doesn’t answer his call right away or doesn’t respond to his text within 2 minutes. I felt really bad so I had a talk with her and my girl (they came to me for advice I didn’t insert myself) and basically I told her that he’s not going to change and if she can’t handle this for the next 6 months and the 6 months after that, then she should break up with him. And that same night after talking to me, she did break up with him. I feel like shot but I’m happy for her because that relationship was ruining this girl and my friend too he would get really crazy. I just feel bad for helping cause him pain. AITA for breaking bro code? ######

NTA. Your friend is an abuser who was abusing his GF, you are never TA for encouraging an abuse victim to safely leave their abuser. Honestly your friend shouldn’t be in *any* relationship until he’s gotten some serious individual therapy to change his abusive ways. ######

I have a friend, we'll call him Ted, who I have been friends with since freshman year of high school. We're both 22, and I have a younger sister who is 17. For the past few weeks, Ted has been making the same remark that my sister is turning 18 very soon. They're not the worst comments in the world, but it's still weird to me. He used to make them in front of my sister, but I told him to stop. Now he just brings it up around me. Here's where the problem kind of really happens. A bit ago, Ted straight up asked me if it was okay if he could start dating my sister when she turned 18. I straight up told him no. He got upset and said "Ok but why not? She'll be legal." I told him no again, and if he kept asking or even tried, I would terminate our friendship. See the thing with Ted, he's never had a girlfriend before, and is always ragging on women not wanting to date him. So I'm fairly certain I know why he wants to date her. But my sister isn't even interested nor does he like Ted. She tolerates him because he's my friend. Ted got real upset when I threatened to end our friendship. He keeps bringing up now that she'll be an adult and she can make her own decisions and even if she doesn't want to date him, I don't need to end it on something so trivial. But I don't think it's trivial. This is my sister we're talking about, I told him. And that if they were to somehow get together and then break up, our friendship would probably end anyways. AITA??? ######

NTA. Your friend dropped something: 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Warn your sister. She should be prepared for when he comes onto her. I say “when” and not “if”, because no matter what you say he’s going to go after her. ######

So back story first. I rewatched both “Narcos” series on netflix, and I ended up downloading several songs from the soundtrack. I love all kinds of music, and I got really into the dramatic songs, like the intro “Tuyo”, or “No me hables de ese amor”. I sing along to my music when I’m working or alone, and one day recently a friend overheard me singing one of the spanish songs. Her mother is from Mexico, and she speaks spanish herself, and she got offended and said I was being racist by singing a language I don’t know. I had looked up the lyrics to the song, and had a rough idea of how to pronounce them correctly, and what they meant. I certainly didn’t mean to come across as racist, I just enjoyed the sound of the music and the vocals. I know my pronunciation was probably atrocious to a native speaker, but I wasn’t trying to mock and accent or anything like that. I explained myself to my friend, and she understood, but she still maintains that what I’m doing is racist and I should stop. ######

NTA. Your friend calling singing a foreign song racist is ridiculous. Is singing a Latin song racist? Are non-English pop songs with English words mixed in also racist? Is singing *Feliz Navidad* during the winter holidays racist? Does she also get offended when *Gangnam Style* gets played on non-Korean radio? Or is it a testament that good catchy music is great to listen to even if the lyrics aren't completely intelligible, and it's human nature to sing/hum/dance/nod to such music (I personally only sing to music when I'm alone because I **suck** at singing on key). ######

Please excuse grammar and punctuation on PC but not good at writing anything. My in-laws blatantly ignore my 2 year old daughter but idolize my 5 year old son. it finally came to a head when they just randomly shower him with gifts and, would regularly say "my grandson and the other one". I finally went up to them and told them that until they realize they have 2 grand kids and not just one that they will not be seeing ether anytime soon. Loaded the family back into the car and left that was 2 weeks ago and there has been no contact at all. Am I the A-hole? ######

NTA. Your first responsibility is to protect your kids. Well done! You can't accept this kind of favouritism. ######

I’m currently 8 weeks pregnant, which was unexpected. One symptom that I have is EXTREME gas. I belch like a frat boy 24/7, and I can’t help it. They just slip out. I’ve tried bicarbonate with water, EVERYTHING. fast forward to yesterday, my fiance and I were laying down on the couch, and as I was getting up, i let out an ungodly loud burp. He looked at me and called me disgusting. He says he can’t look at me the same, as it’s really gross. Prior to getting pregnant, I never burped/farted in front of him. So AITA? ######

NTA. Your fiance is not ready to be a dad if he's offended by burps and farts. He knows babies do much worse right? ######

I (25F) have been with my fiancé (26M) for 10 years now, and spent the last week with beautiful weather at his house. For context, his family and I re very close as they have seen me grow up and we have always lived around the corner from each other. I asked my MIL if she minded if I layed out in the backyard and tanned in my bikini. She said “absolutely not hunny, any time”. So I did. A strapless tanning bikini, but totally covered my bits, I would wear it in front of my own dad, or at any public pool, it was not scandalous in any way. My FIL and his brother were in the backyard doing yard work, BBQing and some other tasks throughout the afternoon. We chatted, laughed, had a beverage together, both wives were around as well but inside the house. It was a great afternoon until my fiancé’s GREAT AUNT showed up. When she had a second alone with me, she told me it was “completely inappropriate and disrespectful to my relationship with my fiancé to be wearing such little clothing around his father and uncle, how dare I?” My fiancé had no issues, neither did his mother. His dad and uncle never stared or made me feel uncomfortable. As a 25 year old daughter in law, was I the in the wrong for being in a bikini for an afternoon in the sunshine, in front of my father in law? ######

NTA. Your fiancé was okay with it, and so were his mom and dad. Great Aunt Gertrude can go pound sand. Next time she complains, look her dead in the eye and say: "Well bless your heart". ######

sorry if formatting is weird So my mother was a middle school teacher and she would tutor this boy who was around 13 or 14 years old. He would come over our house for tutoring.So, they ended up having sex and mom get's pregnant. At that time, me (19M) and dad didn't know about the affair and thought the baby was dad's. We were with throughout the pregnancy and birth. How we ended finding out was my mom left her phone at home while she went to the grocery store. A text message popped up and it was a nude photo from the boy she tutored. I ended up going through her phone to see tons of dirty text messages and nude photos between her and the boy. I showed the pictures and text messages to my dad and needless to say, he was devastated. We decided that we should turn the pictures in to the police for not only the boy but for other future victims as well. We confronted mom about this and she admitted that she had been sleeping with this kid for a while and the baby wasn't dad's. She begged us not to turn it in to the police but we told her we already did. A few days later, the school found out and they fired her. The boy's parents got wind of this as well and they are pressing charges. My mom is currantly sitting in jail. As for Dalton (half brother), I can't look at him the same again. The rest of the family are calling me an asshole for not wanting to be around him and for turning in mom but to me, he will always be a reminder of my mother's infidelity and crime. So reddit, AITA? ######

NTA. Your feelings are valid. But one thing to consider is how your half brother will feel. Obviously right now he’s too young to understand it all. But eventually he will know what happened and he won’t deserve to feel guilty for it. He is an innocent person in this. He didn’t ask for his mom to have him the way she did. It was completely wrong but he still deserves love from family. If you can’t give that right now, it’s okay. You need to heal; your mom broke a lot of trust. But, just try not to take out the anger you have toward your mom on Dalton. I’m sorry you have to deal with all of this though. ######

Throwaway and on mobile So my dad recently passed away from cancer and in his will, he clearly stated that I am to inherit everything, and my 3 younger siblings get nothing, the reasoning behind my father's decision is because my siblings had cut contact from him when he divorced my mum, (it was a mutual divorce but my mum had manipulated them into thinking he had an affair) and only talked to him when they needed money, despite that he always sent texts trying to check in their lives but they wouldn’t respond. My father had left a letter explaining that he was hurt and disappointed that they had left him and why they wouldn’t be receiving anything, his last wish to me was to ensure that I never gave a dime to my siblings. So I don’t know if I should carry out with my father’s wish. I believe that the fair route would be to donate it all to charity but my siblings are calling me the asshole because I’m not giving the money to them. Edit: Thank you guys for your opinions. Means a lot. ######

NTA. Your father was clear on what he wanted. You're not an asshole for enforcing that. They clearly only care about the money, as they did when he was alive. ######

This isn’t such a big deal but it’s a constant argument between my father and I, almost a daily thing. My father is always saying how he’s just an affectionate man he likes to hug and just hold onto people but I don’t fucking like it. I don’t like being touched all the time to me it’s just annoying and feels restrictive. Every time he holds onto me and i get annoyed he thinks it’s some sort of game and will do it more to annoy me on purpose and the only way to make him stop is to raise my voice. I’m over it enough of these pointless arguments and being made to feel guilty because I don’t like being touched. So I’m just wondering, AITA? ######

NTA. Your father needs to learn how to respect your boundaries. You shouldn’t have to feel guilty for speaking up for yourself and voicing your discomfort. There are millions of ways he can show you affection without forcing you to hug him. ######

My school has decided to continue with a graduation ceremony despite current events. They have given each student 1 ticket that allots 4 people entry into the ceremony. I have essentially two separate families, one with my father and stepmom and the other with my mom and stepdad. Father and stepmom live in another state, I live with my mother and stepdad. A couple years back I willingly decided to leave my fathers house to go to my mothers due to abuse from him and my stepmom, and then was kicked out before I was due to move. My mother and stepdad have both been AMAZING and took me in and gave me a loving family and life I never seemed to have. My older brother also lives with my mother and he faced a similar situation where he was kicked out. Me and my father have become somewhat friendly since I left. I want to bring my mother, stepdad, older brother and my father to my graduation. My father wants to bring my stepmother as well and either kick out my older brother or my stepdad, or have no steps involved. I want to tell him no, because my stepdad has been such a great help and has been an amazing guy, and I feel he deserves a spot at my graduation. I feel if I do this I would drive a wedge between me and my father, and be considered a major asshole by his entire side of the family. TL;DR- I want to take my Mother, Stepfather, Brother, and Father with me to graduation but my father wants me to cut out either my brother or stepdad or take no step parents at all. WIBTA if I told him and my stepmom no, only he can come and I’m not kicking anyone out? ######

NTA. Your father kicked your out or his house and allowed his wife to abuse you and you’re worried about driving a wedge between the two of you? Why? ######

My school has decided to continue with a graduation ceremony despite current events. They have given each student 1 ticket that allots 4 people entry into the ceremony. I have essentially two separate families, one with my father and stepmom and the other with my mom and stepdad. Father and stepmom live in another state, I live with my mother and stepdad. A couple years back I willingly decided to leave my fathers house to go to my mothers due to abuse from him and my stepmom, and then was kicked out before I was due to move. My mother and stepdad have both been AMAZING and took me in and gave me a loving family and life I never seemed to have. My older brother also lives with my mother and he faced a similar situation where he was kicked out. Me and my father have become somewhat friendly since I left. I want to bring my mother, stepdad, older brother and my father to my graduation. My father wants to bring my stepmother as well and either kick out my older brother or my stepdad, or have no steps involved. I want to tell him no, because my stepdad has been such a great help and has been an amazing guy, and I feel he deserves a spot at my graduation. I feel if I do this I would drive a wedge between me and my father, and be considered a major asshole by his entire side of the family. TL;DR- I want to take my Mother, Stepfather, Brother, and Father with me to graduation but my father wants me to cut out either my brother or stepdad or take no step parents at all. WIBTA if I told him and my stepmom no, only he can come and I’m not kicking anyone out? ######

NTA. Your father kicked you out, he should be lucky you invited him at all. ######

I (17f) get uncomfortable around my father often as he is very touchy and (in my opinion) often inappropriate. He will often playfully smack my butt if he is walking by me in the house, put his hand on my hip or butt if we are taking a picture, or pat my butt if we are hugging. He also implies that I am sexually involved with all of my male friends. I’ve outright said to him that this makes me uncomfortable months ago but he is unrelenting with being touchy so now I just push his hand away or avoid him in the house. Now that we are all stuck at home, it’s difficult to avoid him and if I push his hands away or move when he’s close to me he becomes upset, leaves the room and will either not speak to anyone or be rude to other members of the household. The very few times I’ve had friends over he’s implied that I am trying to have sex with all of my male friends and it is uncomfortable for everyone involved. My mother knows he makes me uncomfortable but thinks it’s my responsibility to make sure he doesn’t get upset and thinks I should put up with it. His presence has made me increasingly anxious and upset for about 4 years and now it’s exacerbated by the current situation. So, AITA for not wanting to be around him when he makes me uncomfortable as it upsets him? EDIT: Thank you all so much for the kind words and advice. I’m really happy to know that I’m not overreacting. I will try to update soon enough if I can get in contact with someone I trust. ######

NTA. Your father is way out of line. Do you have anyone who isn't your mom (who is also being T A) who you trust that you can talk to about this? ######

I’m only 22, but my dad has mentioned numerous times that he expects me to not put him in a nursing home, and he always includes ‘wiping his ass’ as something we better be ready to do. Personally, fuck that. I’d literally pay someone to do that before I do it myself. Hopefully by that point I’ll have kids of my own and I’ll have to wipe their ass. No way am I adding unnecessarily to that list. And, as a last little tidbit, before he’s said something like “I wiped your ass for years” but him and my mother have stated multiple times that he maybe changed literally one diaper so that argument also falls flat. I have no plans to ever see inside my parents pants for any reason. Am I the asshole? ######

NTA. Your father is holding his ‘I raised you’ card high over your head. It is his responsibility to save and prepare for retirement, including having someone to wipe his ass. ######

As the daughter in my family I've taken the duties of buying the groceries, and I'm usually the one to cook. It's our dynamic and it works. I love my family too but my dad can be a jerk sometimes. Something he has done since my childhood is burp and fart and cough whenever he wants an area to himself. It's disgusting but we've stopped reacting to it, cause if he knows it bothers us(a family full of women) he'll do it more. He's been in a pissy mood lately and started doing it again. If I'm in the kitchen, getting a glass of water or cooking, he will burp incessantly and fart, right next to me, trying to get me to leave. I just don't respond to it. But damn it's so childish and disgusting, that I asked my mom if I could just start getting keto foods to minimize his gas (I know he does it on purpose but if he doesn't have gas to work with...) Mom said it'd be funny and he deserves it. So I did. He's been complaining why there isn't any breads or veggies he likes (the really gassy ones.) But I mean, he's also losing his spare tire so that's good too. And I can hear him struggling to be gassy. He still coughs some but not as much as in the past because everything that's happening. So I feel kinda mean for doing this but he seriously needs to stop burping and farting in our faces and where we eat. It's so gross. Am I being an asshole? ######

NTA. Your father is disgusting. Quite frankly, you’d have every right to leave the room anytime he enters and stop cooking for him all together. ######

For Mother’s Day this year I decided to give my mother plane tickets to japan (her home country) for us to go on a girls trip together. I thought this was a nice gesture, since she loves going visiting japan. We never really go on girls trip and since I could actually afford to pay for it myself I thought it would be a nice experience. My mom was so overjoyed and excited to go! She hated that I spent so much money on her, but she loved the gift. However, my dad was not happy about this. I once mentioned my plan to give her the tickets to him prior and he said that it was a great idea. However on the day of he got extremely upset and when I confronted him about it he told me that I shouldn’t plan things with my mom without his approval. According to him, when I mentioned to him about my plans, he thought that he could go to. He was angry that he was not included in our mother-daughter girls trip. On Mother’s Day, during the confrontation he claimed “What about me? What am I going to do?”. He then claimed that it was him that married my mom and not me and then proceeded to ignore the both of us the rest of the day. Today, I learned from my mom that my dad forbade her from going on the trip with me. When I asked my mother why she didn’t stand up to him she replied with “I really wanna go on this trip with you, but I don’t want to disobey your father”. She has decided that though she wants to go on the trip, she cannot go unless she has permission from my father. I have a great relationship with both my parents and I’m not completely sure of why my dad is acting this way. I don’t like how my mom is treated like his property instead of his wife and needs “permission” to do the things she wants. But that’s their marriage and that’s how she decided she wanted to be treated so I can’t do anything about that. AITA? ######

NTa. Your father is an overbearing asshole. Period. Point blank. That said, if this is their marriage dynamic and your mother is content with that and wants to obey your father, there’s really nothing you can do here except accept her decision. ######

We are muslims and unlike them, I sorta neglect my religious tasks. Sometimes I don’t pray, and sometimes I’m not fasting in this ramadan. So basically, after each feast, my roommates go pray together, and they ask me to join them. I prayed with them before but yesterday and the day before I said nah, I’ll pray by myself (in reality I don’t want to pray cuz I’m lazy), and when I said so, they get annoyed as if I did something rude. One of them even told me that dude cmon pray so you can enter heaven, and so god doesnt punish you. Mate I get it but don’t push me like this or at least be indifferent about me, it’s my problem. Bonus: When I was living with my family before moving to college, they didn’t enforce me to be completely religious. They told me to do it on if I’m willing to. No matter how much I skipped prayer, they never shamed me for it. ######

NTA. Your faith and the practice of it is your concern and yours alone. ######

I've been there for about 4 years. I can handle the run-of-the-mill "are you fucking incompetent/learn to do your job/etc" side-handed shit from customers. Several months back I answered the phone and the customer asked if "that one n***** was working because [they] wanted to make sure the food wasnt fucked with and made correctly" With roughly 10 years of food service, I have *never* "fucked with" anyone's food (like spit or anything intentional or nasty). That shit is unacceptable to me. However, mistakes in the kitchen happen, well all make them. Naturally, I asked them to repeat themselves cause I didnt catch it. When they did I responded (very unprofessionally) "well, that's exactly who the fuck you are talking to so come on down here and say that shit to my face." Not much happened from it, had a conversation about not talking shit to the customer bc then they can bitch and moan that I was rude, and while they understand why and would be compelled to do likewise, it just ain't worth stooping to their level. Understandable. I said at the time something along the lines of "I agree and won't tell them off, but the next time someone refers to me or another coworker as that. I will be leaving. I'm not paid to have customers refer to me as that." It happened again today, and they could have been referring to either myself or another coworker of mine. Either way, hung up the phone, took off my hat/uniform, tossed my money on the office desk, and left. Obviously incredibly upset. I do feel bad for leaving them high-and-dry. But whatever shred of self-worth I have left, knows that shit is not something you could pay me enough to tolerate from a customer. Am I the asshole for putting my friends and other coworkers in a tough spot because of it? Cause, yeah, it's an asshole move. EDIT: My coworkers definitely understand why I quit. They are upset that I did, but they 100% have had my back for years. ######

NTA. Your exactly right in saying that you are not paid to put up with that sort of abuse. The manager/owner, or whatever, should not be telling you that you essentially have to accept the abuse. They should be asking you to hand the situation over to them as it is part of what managers should be paid and trained to handle. Personally I think that retailers should be able to take a harder stance against abuse of workers and refuse service and tell the customer to fuck right off. Unfortunately though this usually ends with the worker being fired. ######

Aita for telling people about a "closed" meeting with management? I work for a national discount retail chain that we will call amilyfa ollarda. My mum, who lived in europe, passed away three weeks ago from coronavirus. Trying to give work advanced notice, I told my manager I would need 2 weeks off to go to europe, arrange and attend her funeral, and settle her estate. I was called in the office today and told I could only take 48 hours bereavement leave. I explained that I can not get there and back in 48 hours. I was told it was their policy and my job would not be held past that. I was upset due to the fact that I've been working hard through this pandemic to help my community, while not being given masks, proper gloves, or much in the way of ppe until the past few days. And they want to replace me for wanting to bury my mum? I was told that I'm an a-hole for telling a few close friends about what was said while I was upset. Being a fairly new immigrant, I'm unused to certain things in my new home, mainly people's aversion to personal time off. I spoke to my spouse and a few friends to see if this is common in the us. Aita? ######

NTA. Your employer is unsympathetic, which is a separate issue. Unless you’re talking about the meeting on social media, who cares if you talk about what was discussed behind closed doors? I’m so very sorry for your loss, but please don’t stress over talking about a closed door meeting. I suppose they could argue it’s unprofessional, but you’re not an asshole at all. Focus on yourself and your family now. The rest is background noise. ######

I have a dog, she's 6. And very healthy. Potty trained. So she never makes any messes. Unless I'm gone for long hours which is understandable. When you gotta go, you gotta go. I clean it up. No big deal. I walk her 3 times a day. Morning. Afternoon. Evening. So she can use the bathroom and get a lil bit of exercise. There's a girl who runs her own dog-sitting business. I asked her to watch my dog for a 2 days while I went out of town. I gave her paper with instructions. Its something a 10 year old could do. It said "Walk her 3 times a day, mornings, afternoons and evenings." I also left 4 small bags of her doggy food. 2 for one day, and 2 for the next day, (breakfast and dinner). Only 2 of thoe bags were used.... Fast forward to when I get back home. I come home to the scent of urine and feces. Everywhere. There's shit in the kitchen. There's shit in the bathroom. Shit in my bedroom. There's shit in the shit. And paw prints of urine everywhere. You get the picture. Its clear and obvious that she did not walk my dog at all. Not even once. I was mad about the urine and feces everywhere. But im even more mad at the fact that she neglected my dog. She called me to ask when she can pick up her money. I told her I'm not paying her at all for the shitty "job" she's done. Her excuse? "I was busy with homework". I hung up the phone. I rated her website a one-star and a negative review. She tried calling me again. My friend is saying I'm being harsh, and I should at least give her some money. For what? She did nothing. How hard is it to feed and walk a dog? How lazy do you have to be? I dont think im being harsh. I'm being fair. She didn't do the job she was *HIRED* to do. If im TA, tell me so I can make it right. TL;DR: Dog sitter didn't walk my dog. Urine and feces everywhere, didn't feed her well either. ######

NTA. Your dog was shitting and pissing in the house because she neglected a basic thing: regular walking. She also didn't properly feed the dog. She didn't do anything right. Homework isn't a good excuse, you wouldn't be spending **all day** doing it. She doesn't deserve to be paid. ######

My husband and I are getting a divorce, it was pretty out of the blue, we had a fight and then he said he wanted one. He said that we didn’t have to go to court, he only wanted a small amount and just wanted it to be over with. He’s currently staying with a friend. He was a stay at home dad for most of our daughters childhood, and only recently had gotten back to work, however he got furloughed for the quarantine. I was talking to my parents and they asked how the divorce was going, and I told them the good news that he didn’t want much money. They were unhappy with this for some reason, and said I should volunteer to give him more money. I think that would be stupid, because 1) he’s asking for the divorce, I was perfectly happy, and 2) he specifically only asked for the amount he did. I then was venting to a friend about this conversation because it frustrated me and then she agreed with them! I don’t see how I’m in the wrong here, yes, if we went to court he undoubtedly would get more but he doesn’t want to, I’m talking to my lawyer and everything is going smoothly. I don’t see why I should have to give him something he didn’t ask for? AITA? ######

NTA. Your divorce settlement is absolutely not the business of anyone but you and your ex. If he only wants a certain amount, and you’re comfortable with that, everyone else can mind their own business. Period. ######

I (37F) was recently (as in about a month ago) diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I have since told my husband, and my close friends, but my in-laws, including my BIL and SIL, don't know. This is mostly due to COVID-19 related SIP, (I wanted to tell them in person) but also I haven't had the words to tell them via phone call or text. As much as I love my in laws, they are...Really judgmental about mental health. Even though they are aware of my trauma filled childhood, which is what caused the DID, my MIL thinks that a "life coach and weight loss" (her words) will fix the entire situation. I want to be honest, but I also dread feeling like I am overreacting, like this is no big deal. The fear of their judgement is overpowering and triggering. I write a blog about auditioning and performing, and I recently wrote a post that talked about said diagnosis, and how it has been affecting my practice schedule/ emotions about performing...I was about to publish it, but then realized if my in-laws read it, they will now know about my diagnosis, and may feel upset that I did not tell them in person. I know they don't always read my blog, but you never know...A part of me just wants to do it, and get it over with, but I also don't want to hurt their feelings/ incur their wrath and judgement. WIBTA if I just posted the entry and wait for them to approach me? ######

NTA. Your diagnosis isn't the business of your inlaws. ######

So I basically (17f) had been diagnosed with ADHD a year ago . I'm pretty school smart but I don't notice many Things around me and I have a problem with sitting or doing the same thing for more then 30 minutes . After I got the diagnosis from my therapist . I wanted to proceed to book other sessions to see what I can do to help minimise the issue . It started affecting my studies . My mother didn't believe me and told me I was doing this for attention and not to tell anyone about it . ( In our culture mental health is a taboo topic ) I wasn't happy about it I tried to retaliate anything . But it was no use and my father whose a doctor tried to convince her but nothing . So suddenly today she heard one of her friends had a daughter with ADHD so she told her about and proceeded to tell all her colleagues like it's something to flaunt I guess . And now she believes I have it . I was pretty furious since she had forbidden to go my therapist for almost half a year and continued to call me an attention seeker whenever I braught it up . The fight was bad I was screaming at the top of my lungs in the end and shut myself in my room . Now she's acting like she's the victim and all she did was try to help . So reddit AITA ??? Sorry for the grammar mistakes ######

NTA. Your daughter's mental health issue is a serious thing, not something you pretend it's not there just to bring it up when it's convenient. ######

Alt account be I'm pretty sure my daughter is on reddit. My daughter is 17. We have shared custody of her but she is at my place more often than her mom's. A lot of the times on her mom's days she just asks if she can stay home and most of the time her mom allows it. So technically we do have shared custody but my daughter is at my house 99% of the time. My daughter had very long hair that went down to her waist. But she asked me if she could cut it to her shoulders. So i made her an appointment and drove her to the salon as soon as it opened back it. She really liked her haircut a lot and posted pictures of it on Instagram. Her mom must have seen the pictures and called me. She was upset that I hadn't consulted her about the haircut beforehand. She said we both have custody and that a haircut is something we should both agree on. I told her that she's 17 and she is old enough to decide how she wants her hair to look. Her mom said "yeah you have to be 18 before you can technically decide anything. I still have partial custody so I get a say in things". She also commented on my daughters post. Her comment said: WTF you've ruined your beautiful hair. My daughter told me that she knew she would be upset. Apparently my daughter had always wanted to try a shorter cut because her really long hair was hot and hard to manage but her mom told her that short hair was ugly. My daughter told me that she didn't ever cut it until now because she didn't want to upset her mother. Should I have talked to her mother before taking her to get it cut? ######

NTA. Your daughter is pretty much an adult. She chose to cut her hair. You supported her. Nothing wrong with supporting your child. She knew mom wouldn’t be happy but she’s 17. Mom shouldn’t be controlling her hairstyle. No one should but herself. ######

My husband is from the DR. He and I met when I traveled abroad as a nurse in my twenties. We’re still married, he’s a fantastic man. Our 15 year old daughter, the oldest of our kids, has recently decided that she doesn’t have to respect me based on my race. We’ve raised her to be conscious of the racial issues in the US, and have made it clear that people of color face dangers that white people don’t face. In her teenage years she has decided to use this against me. First of all, she has decided that she’s black. My husband has always referred to himself as “brown” or “latinx” and the N word is not a word we use in the house. Our daughter has decided to “reclaim” that slur as a “black woman” and she uses it in every casual sentence. Whenever I ask her to do something simple (load the dishwasher, clean clothes off her floor) she says “yes massah! Right away massah!” In a southern accent as if I’m behaving like a slave owner. My husband is at a loss and so am I. Over the dinner table she kept using the N word and I firmly asked her to stop. She said “that’s rich coming from my WHITE mother.” I said “your WHITE mother is about to beat your BROWN ASS if you don’t go to your bedroom and stay there for the next twelve hours.” She stomped up there but kept trying to come out throughout the night claiming she was starving (she hadn’t finished her dinner). Each time my husband and I gave her water and marched her right back to her room. AITA? ######

NTA. Your daughter is exploiting real race issues to be a disrespectful little shit. Asking your kid to do the dishes is typically met with eye rolling and whining, not accusing you of enslaving her. She needs a reality check. ######