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Obligatory on mobile etc. I’ve lived with my flatmate for close to a year now and she’s been in a long distance relationship for maybe 6 months or so. We used to be super close but since she got into a relationship we’ve drifted as she wanted to spend more time with her new boyfriend (this is not the issue at hand).
The problem is whenever he comes over they have the most aggressive, animated, liquid-sounding sex I have ever heard in my life. We have quite a small flat and her bed backs onto the wall where my head is to sleep so I get to hear the full X-rated 6 hour show every weekend. I’ve mentioned this to her before as my radiator was vibrating from the intense passion emanating from her headboard for 4 hours straight one evening and she pulled her bed away from the wall. The issue is, I can hear every slap, grunt, moan, wail, growl that is uttered during these steamy sessions and it’s truly terrifying.
We’re all adults here and I’ve got no problem with her getting some but the issue is sometimes they end up giving each other a round of applause for hours on end. The lack of sleep I’m getting from hearing their amateur porn is becoming a real issue.
WIBTA if I asked them to tone it down? Also, how the fuck do I approach it without sounding like a jealous prude that wants to go join in? ###### | NTA.
And I have ideas!
Make a game out of counting their orgasms. Keep score on a whiteboard and congratulate the loser each morning.
Suggest that their impressive stamina and mutual enthusiasm deserves to be shared with a wider audience... have they considered monetizing their exuberant sex life? Bonus points for a PowerPoint presentation.
His and hers ball gags for the next birthday, anniversary, or gift-giving religous holiday of your choice.
Leave business cards for a local motel scattered around the apartment. If you're feeling extra courteous, jot down the hourly rate on a Post-It note.
Search for one of those "20 sounds that make dogs bark" videos on YouTube and play it loudly on repeat the next time they start going at it. Bonus points if you actually have a dog to join in the chorus!
Casually ask for a safe word you can tap in morse code on your mutual wall the next time they get too loud. Demand aftercare and ice cream; you deserve it. ###### |
Okay so hear me out, I know that the title makes me seem straight up like an asshole but I have my reasons.
I live in a very close nit neighbourhood in the UK mostly made up of terrace houses, I live on the end of the street and only have one next door neighbour, and they are neighbours from hell. When we moved in 10 years ago, within days we had been told to "fuck off back to our own country" (we're british, so idk), they called the RSPCA on us because our cat kept using their front garden as a litter box while they were working on it, it was mostly sand, and every time I saw her doing this I cleaned it up and apologised, accused my younger brothers of egging their house (they did have eggs on their patio but upon later inspection they found out they were pigeon eggs that had fallen from a nest in their roof but they never got an apology) and various other things, we usually get a knock on the door by the police every now and then for some bullshit complaint.
But their favourite one is to start a BBQ or Bonfire every single time we put washing outside to dry.
My solution to this issue is to play very loud (and slightly offensive) music right before I plan to hang it outside so they leave for the day (I haven't done this since lockdown because I don't think it would be fair considering the virus)
Ive tried being civil and asking them not to start fires right as I hang my washing and this has been occurring for 10 years straight but I got told to go fuck myself because they can do what they want when they want.
I could technically dry my clothes in the dryer inside but in the summer in an old house with no AC and poor ventilation it gets almost impossible to breathe.
But I have to know Aita? ###### | NTA.
Also holy shit what dedication on your neighbors part. To put forth the effort to build a bonfire or BBQ everytime you hang laundry out for the last 10 years.
Like yeah they're assholes but you kind of have to respect that dedication a bit. Next next level petty. ###### |
I'm a middle school teacher. Once a week there's a meeting with the principal, vice principal, special ed teacher, guidance counselor and the 4 subject matter teachers. One of the things we talk about is particular kids and how they are doing. A few years ago we had a kid who had a spectacularly horrible home life (the school was in an upper middle class area so not that many troubled homes), and she was of course failing. We spent months trying different things to help her. After about 3/4 through the year, the principal in our meeting said we need to do more. I said school is not her main priority or her biggest problem and helping her more than we already are is above our pay grade. We need help. Can you provide some help for us and for the kid? No one directly answered me but the discussion continued.
About a month later, I was in the principal's office and she was criticizing me for something, I forget what. Then she brought up that meeting and said by me saying it was above our pay grade it was obvious that I didn't want to put in the effort to help the kid, I didn't care about the kid or my job, and that it was disrespectful to her and the vice principal to say basically they needed to handle it, not the teachers. I was really surprised and I do not think I was the AH. I actually said that because everything the teachers were doing didn't help and I actually cared what happened to the kid and wanted to get her some kind of help. I'm not a fucking psychiatrist or social worker so I legit couldn't help her.
I was going to make a throwaway but fuck it. So AITA? ###### | NTA.
Addressing a concern that you are in over your head and need additional resources is why that meeting should exist in the first place. If the principals just wanted to feel involved they could have sent out an email. They are the ones who should be getting you and the other teachers the resources you all need to do your jobs. There’s only so much you can do and they need to be team players and not arm chair quarterbacks. ###### |
I’m 30 and my 12 year old sister is living with me right now because mom and pops are vulnerable so it made more sense for me to care for my sis for the time being.
She is a really great kid and tbh I feel in a lot of ways like she’s my own kid because my mom and dad don’t speak English so I kind of had to raise my sis in ways that they couldn’t. Hard to explain but I’m sure anyone with a secondary culture will get what I mean- my mom and dad are great parents but having an English speaking person to guide you through shit when you live in an English speaking country is invaluable imo and my sister trusts me with stuff she won’t necessarily trust my parents with.
Anyway my girlfriend was FaceTiming me and my sister walked past in shorts and a t shirt cuz it’s hot. My ~~sister~~ gf waited til my sister had left the area ( but not the room) and made a face and said ‘maybe feed her less OP, her thighs are kinda chunky’
I saw red and told her to shut the fuck up (just came out my mouth) and immediately ended the call. My sister is a bit chubby but ffs who says stuff like that about a 12 year old girl.
Literally. Everybody. I. Know. Has been texting me that I’m a POS boyfriend and that how can I disrespect my gf like that. I am expecting an apology from HER but to my shock everybody is expecting ME to apologize.
So Reddit, AITA? ###### | NTA.
12 year old girls are incredibly vulnerable to body image issues. You're absolutely right to shut down such comments immediately. ###### |
I am a recovering anorexic that has been through treatment and therapy for this disorder however, no one in my family knows anything about that at all.
I am 21 y/o F that has moved back home with my aunt because my university shut down and since I’ve been back every time she seems me eating she teases me about how my backside seems to be getting larger and today she asked if I have “looked in the mirror lately” because I “eat too much”.
To her it’s harmless games and just joking around. I can attest that this is just how her humor is, very crude and often times will cross a line.
She never hesitates to call other people in my family fat or to make “jokes” about random strangers she’ll see when we go out. It’s extremely embarrassing but at this point I’ve accepted that’s how she is and I just have to live with it for the time being. Usually when she’s conversing with other family members about their weight, their conversations are full of laughter and very light hearted.
I’ve been told by her and others that I am overly sensitive to things so I fear I may be over reacting. I know she’s genuinely not being malicious but it doesn’t make me feel good when she teases me every time I am eating around her.
Today I yelled at her for constantly being rude which made her really upset. She apologized and made it known that she was just joking and didn’t mean any offense by it. I feel a little bad for my outburst especially since she does not know that I am a recovering anorexic who gets extremely triggered when people mention my weight or comment on the frequency of which I eat.
AITA? ###### | NTA.
1. She's not joking, she's bullying.
2. She's not sorry, she is upset at being called off with truth.
3 even if you didn't have an eating disorder, her comments are rude and inappropriate. Someone genuinely worried about the health of someone else will not speak like this to that person.
If she honest to God does a 180 and flies right, great. Otherwise, keep your guard up and know that she's an AH. ###### |
I have lived with my roommate for about a year now. We’re both women. We get along fairly well, but have a recurring issue with her eating my food.
I recently went grocery shopping. I asked her if she wanted me to pick her up anything, and she said no. Now because we have had issues with her eating my food in the past, I have resorted to putting post-it-notes on my items to label them so there’s no confusion.
Last week, I had leftovers from dinner that I had been planning on eating the next day and when I woke up, they were gone. I questioned her about it, and got non-answers. I had extra time on my hands, so I decided to make a recipe and use a large amount of ghost peppers in it. I’ll be honest- I didn’t eat any. It was specifically for the purpose of catching her.
I was in my room and all of a sudden I hear her screaming, saying “what the FUCK” and trying to drink milk to calm the effects. I came out and said “How did this happen? I labeled the tray so you wouldn’t confuse it for yours” and long story short, she obviously caught on that I did it on purpose. She called me a bitch and will not speak to me. I’ve told some of my family what happened with mixed reactions, so AITA? ###### | NTA.
1. She took your food without consent.
2. She lied when asked about it. ###### |
My ex (20) and I (22F) were together for 5 years. In February, they said they wanted to marry me. The past two months (in quarantine), they’ve been talking about how they actually DON’T like me anymore and need some time to think about where this relationship is going. During that time, there were long stints of us “giving each other space” which meant going no contact for a week, two weeks, etc.
I was heartbroken of course. I was devastated, and I took the time they were “taking time for themself” to take time for MYSELF too. I processed my emotions and got really comfortable with the possibility of them leaving me. Well, lo and behold.
Two days ago they dropped the bomb and said they didn’t want to be with me anymore and gave me all the reasons why. I said “You need to know this is permanent. I have no interest in being your friend after we break up and if you leave me like this after five years I’m done.” And they essentially said YUP LATER!
So the next day I changed my relationship status and made a post publicly about how we had decided to end things, it was amicable, etc. just because so many people knew us as a COUPLE (after being together for FIVE YEARS).
Well they had the audacity to text me about how they’re pissed I moved on so fast and how they didn’t WANT to leave me, they HAD to leave me. I told them that’s fine, but they left me so they can’t exactly tell me how to feel and how to move on, especially after I had really been working through the POSSIBLE break up for over a month. They also told they’re pissed I’m advertising myself as single. I said “But I am single? You left me remember?”
What am saying is AITA for “moving on so fast.” This was my first REAL relationship and I genuinely want to know if I’m being an ass here. Thanks everyone! ###### | NTA.
>they didn’t WANT to leave me, they HAD to leave me
That's some 'Days of Our Lives' level nonsense. ###### |
As a little bit of background my husband had a motorcycle accident 3 months ago and his right foot had several fractures, he's doing ok now but it still hurts a lot when he needs to go down the stairs or needs to do strength related things. After the accident one of his friends took the motorcycle home and has been here since, given the stay at home order and the pain on his leg he hasn't been able to move the motorcycle at all. So I (I have no idea hot to ride a motorcycle) have been turning it on for a couple minutes every now and then (after he asked me to do it and explained the basics to me).
Last week I went to turn the thing on and it was completely dead, I have no idea how any of that works but I've seen him turn it on with a lever thingy on the side so I asked him to come downstairs with me and try it. He gave it a go but the pain was too much so he told me to do it, and as you may expect I was pretty unsuccessful.
Today during breakfast he said we would need a mechanic to check on the bike to know if it has any problems given it has been in the house for so long or if I was just incompetent. I asked him to elaborate and he said "I need to know if there's any damage to the ignition or if is just your incompetence that won't let it turn on".
I told him that word was kinda harsh and that he could probably say that in better terms, he is telling me he just used the correct word for not having the ability to do something and that is not his fault I'm deciding to take the word as offensive and he's not responsible for the way I take his "context-appropriate" words.
The conversation just died then and we are not talking right now, I'm kind of expecting an apology from him but he says I'm making a bigger deal than it really is and that it should be me who has to apologize for ruining the mood, and now I'm wondering if I'm just being too sensitive about it, so AITA? ###### | NTA.
>The conversation just died then and we are not talking right now, I'm kind of expecting an apology from him but he says I'm making a bigger deal than it really is and that it should be me who has to apologize for **ruining the mood**
What mood? The one where he was mean to you for literally no reason while you're trying to help him because he's projecting the insecurities that his injury is giving him onto you? ###### |
I(25f) got married this past fall. One of the guests was a friend I was close to in high school but we aren’t as close now. She is really good friends with one of my bridesmaids and we still hung out occasionally. She also invited me to her wedding a couple years before. So I invited her to mine.
This friend has a photography/wedding planning business but it hasn’t really taken off yet. During my wedding I saw she had her camera but I didn’t pay too much attention to what she was doing. She didn’t get in the way of the photographer so it wasn’t as issue.
A couple days after the wedding my husband and I were tagged in photos. She had posted pictures from the wedding with her watermark on them. One of the pictures was a candid shot of the flower girl. One of the groomsmen (father of flower girl) wrote a comment saying that she did well with his daughter and the friend wrote back that she wasn’t the photographer of the wedding and just a friend. He called my husband and asked if we could talk to her about taking down the picture of his daughter since she wasn’t the photographer and never asked permission to take his daughter’s picture let alone post it to promote her business.
I ended up PMing her and asked if she could take down all the pictures. I told her it was a nice gesture taking pictures but she didn’t ask and I didn’t feel right she was using them to promote her business. I also told her I didn’t feel comfortable she posted a picture of a minor without permission. To be honest I wasn’t a fan of the pictures and they were heavily edited but I didn’t tell her that. She did not take it well. She got very angry and called me an ungrateful friend. She did take the pictures down and then blocked me. We haven’t spoken since.
This happened a few months ago but friends still talk about it. Some friends are on my side and some think I was too harsh and say a good friend would let her keep them.
So I was curious, AITA? ###### | NTA.
>She got very angry and called me an ungrateful friend.
You're ungrateful she took advantage of you? I guess that makes sense in Crazyland.
>This happened a few months ago but friends still talk about it.
Well, on the bright side your friends network isn't very drama or trigger happy if *this* is the talk for months. Be happy for the little things?
>Some friends are on my side and some think I was too harsh and say a good friend would let her keep them.
But... you're not their good friend? You barely know them. Also, a good friend would have asked, oh, and maybe GIVEN YOU THE PHOTOGRAPHS. Seriously, she took a good camera to your wedding and doesn't share the photographs with you. I don't honestly care that much about FB drama, but that's just outright creepy. ###### |
My GF and I have been dating for 5 months. She and her kids were abandoned 9 months ago. Dude is POS. Never calls or sees the kids. One Father’s Day he took the son (16) for the weekend while not speaking to the two girls (11) (14).
So I tell the GF that I don’t think it’s a good idea to go on a date with me and leave the kids home alone. She says the 14 is with friends and I say then it’s worse a 11yo is alone for 6.5-9hrs. She gets mad and says she needs a life to and the kids don’t even pay attention to her.
I tell her it’s a shitty position to be in. Dad left because who knows. Mom is leaving for another man. Moms always get it harder. So in my eyes the kids will get mad at mom and then look at me as an asshole for taking the mom away.
I tell her it’s more common to leave for 2-3 hrs. No big deal. But 6,7,10 that is too long. She gets mad at me and life at that point .
I think it’s too early to spend time with the kids but I did meet the kids 3 years ago and they know me. ###### | NTA.
>She gets mad and says...the kids don’t even pay attention to her.
It's *her* job to pay attention to *them.* ###### |
I'm (27M) a dad to an amazing 3 year old boy, unluckily he is the result of a ONS with a girl (25F) Julie. For the first 7 months I never even knew he existed. One day I got a message on FB from Julie telling me I had a son, I think I passed out there and then on the spot.
I was living with my parents at the time and we arranged for Julie to come by in the next few days with the baby. I'm not going to lie I didn't do much talking that day I was still in shock. Through my mom and her talking it turns out her parents had pressured her into having the baby and raising it, but Julie just couldn't do it anymore and didn't want the baby anymore. After lots of talking and tears my parents and me made a plan of what to do next, lawyer, DNA test and courts. After all that and few months I end up with full time custody of our son, it wasn't easy but with the help of my parents we coped.
For about a year I had a bit of contact with Julie but she never visited, I'd send pictures when she asked how he was doing, but she gradually stopped messaging as time went on. Me and Julie never had a formal child support payment plan in place, call it ego I just didn't want to go that route and she would give me a little bit for food and diapers when she could. But that dried up when the messaging stopped.
There were times when I messaged Julie if she could help out and she always agreed, but she never came through and then stopped replying to me at all. After months of no contact my parents convinced me that I need to go back to court and get a formal order put in, which is what I did.
This is where the shit hit the fan...I just got a flood of messages from Julie telling me how I'm wrecking her life and not letting her move on, how I'm just as bad as her parents trying to force her to be a mom and how she never wanted to be a mom in the first place. I never pushed her to be a mom to our son, I just think that she needs to help out sometimes. AITA for forcing her to pay? ###### | NTA.
>Julie telling me how I'm wrecking her life and not letting her move on, how I'm just as bad as her parents trying to force her to be a mom and how she never wanted to be a mom in the first place.
This seems a bit hypocritical, since she kind of did that to you, showing up with a baby wanting you to take care of it. ###### |
My biological mother came to visit 5 years ago. She and I don’t get along, but for the sake of my daughters I put up with her. During the visit she told my wife that she hates never having money. My wife told her that as a disabled vet (not a physical disability) she receives over 2k a month. It was clear listening to her that she had never taken a financial management class. So my wife started to school her. Mom says she can’t get a checking or savings account because of something unpaid from years ago. My wife decided to help her and co signed for an account. Fast forward five years and we get a call from a collection agency. Apparently mom had hit as many ATMs as she could and knowing that she had no money did not stop her. Eventually the bank cut her card off and cancelled her account and my wife’s account. My wife never uses that account and never realized what happened. Now they are calling and want my wife to pay for the almost 700 dollars. I haven’t spoken with my Mom in two years since she decided to make a huge scene at my Masters graduation. I’m debating if I should call the cops and press charges or if I should just suck it up and pay it since my wife did co sign. I’m out of patience and I can’t tell if IATA for wanting crush my mother or if she is for being a criminal. ###### | NTA.
>I’m debating if I should call the cops and press charges or if I should just suck it up and pay it since my wife did co sign
Both. Your wife is on the hook to pay because she cosigned. I don't know what the cops can do for you, but it wouldn't hurt to call and ask. More likely, you'll have to settle this in small claims court. ###### |
My husband surprised me with a Switch Lite and Animal Crossing. My 11 year old wants to play it also. So I told him I will share it. The first time I played it he hovered over me repeating could he play it. My husband told me to just let him play.
So I did. He has been playing it for the last three days. I asked for it and he said he is busy trying to earn bells. My husband told me to let him play it because he is deep in the game and act like an adult. So I asked my husband to buy him his own game. He said one is enough. He said I can play when he is done and stop being sad over a kids game. Am I the asshole for being sad and mad about not play a silly game ###### | NTA.
>Aita Feeling like I had my gift taken away
First off, it WAS taken away. Second, even if it wasn't, you're NEVER an AH for any feelings. You might be an AH for actions, but never feelings. I hope you're teaching your son that, too.
>My husband surprised me with a Switch Lite and Animal Crossing.
It's YOUR device. Period.
>I asked for it and he said he is busy trying to earn bells.
Why did you take this for an answer? It's your property. He's your child. Why do you have no authority in your house?
>because he is deep in the game and act like an adult.
What? That's rude and dismissive. "Be an adult" would mean going in there and putting a password on your Switch so your child doesn't get to play YOUR Switch. If your husband wants to get your kid a Switch, that's different.
>He said one is enough.
...why does he get to make that decision by himself? What sort of a relationship do you have with him?
>He said I can play when he is done
So he lied when he said it was your device and game.
>and stop being sad over a kids game.
This makes my blood boil. Playing games is a hobby. Do you make fun of his hobbies? Do you make fun of movies he enjoys? I'm going to guess there are 'kids stuff' in there as well. That's dismissive, rude and I hope you bit his head off (figuratively) for being such a jerk. Video games revenue is $134 billion in 2018, while movies were $44 billion. Kinda good for "kids stuff."
The next time he tries to have ice cream, take it away because it's a "kids thing." Candy? Pizza? Kids thing. Any sort of action movie? Kids thing, or maybe teenager thing.
It really sounds like you need to re-evaluate your relationship. ###### |
I have asked my spouse to cut off communication between themselves, my children, and my father. I've presented this same scenario to a few different people, and the response is generally the same. I'm a big ole asshole.
About a year ago, I came out to my father as transgender. I've been transitioning for much longer than that, but since I am military and away from where he lives, it was never an issue before. He took it really hard at first, but we have been working through it together. Our relationship quickly declined after that news, but I was always hoping he would be able to see past my transition and treat me like his child still. For a while, he did, but I always suspected it was so that he could remain close with my two children, whom he adores greatly.
About a monthly ago, I legally changed my name. This was the final straw for him. He will no longer speak to me, and refuses to communicate with me in any fashion. He has blocked my cell phone number, written me out of his will, blocked my e-mail address and removed me from his Facebook. However, he continues to interact with my spouse and children. It hurts me immensely to hear them talking to my father on the phone as if nothing has happened. I really wanted to remain close to my father, but it seems that is no longer an option. My spouse is aware of the emotional toll that this is taking on me, but feels that robbing our children of that same relationship is unfair. While I don't necessarily disagree, I don't enjoy seeing them interact with my father as if everything is the same as it was before. It makes me feel like my spouse doesn't really have my back and is leaving me to deal with my shit alone.
So, Reddit, AITA? ###### | NTA.
> However, he continues to interact with my spouse and children. It hurts me immensely to hear them talking to my father on the phone as if nothing has happened. I really wanted to remain close to my father, but it seems that is no longer an option. My spouse is aware of the emotional toll that this is taking on me, but feels that robbing our children of that same relationship is unfair.
Whoa. Big, whoa. That your spouse doesn't think treating you decently should be a prerequisite for interaction with them or your children is alarming. How is it depriving them to not allow a person who demonstrates such cruelty to have access to them?
> It makes me feel like my spouse doesn't really have my back and is leaving me to deal with my shit alone.
You're right about that. ###### |
For starters it's nothing against her ring at all. It's beautiful and has sentimental value.
It's just my parents are divorced and my siblings and I had a very crappy childhood due to abuse and neglect.
I have a semi steady relationship with both my parents but every time I look at my mothers ring it fills me with dread because I'm scared of my future being the same.
I'm currently wearing a temporary ring due to my mother's not fitting me and with everything closed I can't get it fixed until this pandemic is over but I'm starting to get attached to it even if it's a cheap Amazon ring.
I've talked to my fiance about it and he wants me to be happy so he is fine either way but I know it hurts my mom with me not wearing it when she was the one who gave it to my fiance to give to me.
I guess I want to know if I WBTA if I just give the ring back to my mother.
I'm not the first to get married out of her kids either. ###### | NTA.
> every time I look at my mothers ring it fills me with dread because I'm scared of my future being the same
That's a really, really good reason not to wear that ring.
Keep the cheap Amazon ring if it's special to you! It was given to you by someone who really loves you.
This really has nothing whatsoever to do with your mother. It's between you and your fiance. ###### |
CW: eating disorder and mental illnessy stuff. It’s okay though, we’re all good now.
This is going to sound like a very, very, weird troll post, or just something weird in general, but here goes.
Okay. So. I (M20) am gay, and have had (had) a friend from high school, “Rachel” (F22); who graduated earlier than me by a year. Recently, I discovered that Rachel has been going around talking about how she had anorexia in high school, and going in great lengths about her hospitalisation, down to which room number she was in. According to her, this breakdown was caused by my diagnosis with AIDs as a teenager, and it weighed heavily on her, because she was my best friend.
The first issue with that, is I don’t have AIDs. I’m not even HIV positive. The second issue with that, is she has never been hospitalised for anorexia. The third issue is that the details of hospitalisation she’s describing are my hospitalisation.
That was a fuckton to wrap my head around, and I wasn’t sure how I should act. Whilst I was deliberating, Rachel (last night), decided to hold a Zoom call for our friends for us to chill and hangout together. It went late to the night, and I wasn’t completely sober. Because that’s how I confront. We were talking about sex, and someone asks me how I’m dealing with the virus. Here, Rachel gets nervous, and tries to change the subject.
I laugh, and go “Dude, I dont know what you heard, but I’m cleaner than Rachel’s room.”
Yeah, that was petty.
Someone asks Rachel about it, and she’s evading it, and I’m like fuck it, if this is all coming out, so I add “I mean me having AIDs is about as true as you having had an eating disorder.”
At this she disconnects the call. She texts me later “If me lying upset you, you didn’t have to make it public,” and according to the friend group, she hasn’t been in contact with any of them.
I’m slightly hungover but I will do my best to answer questions, so AITA for handling it the way I did? ###### | NTA.
> “If me lying upset you, you didn’t have to make it public,”
*She's* the one who made it public.
> according to the friend group, she hasn’t been in contact with any of them.
Sounds like a win all around. ###### |
My Chihuahua had 7 puppies recently. They are adorable and when they are old enough I will be finding them homes. My mom really wants one shes even offered to pay. But I do not want my mom having one of my puppies.
My mom is a hoarder, we cant visit her house because of all the clothes piled to the ceiling in every room multiple piles. Shes also an animal hoarder. A few years ago she got in legal trouble for having 56 dogs in city limits. Legally shes not allowed to have animals after that but she currently has 10 dogs, 2 cats and 2 fish.
I fear for the puppy if i allow her to take one. It will not get care amd will probably have to fight for food. My mom keeps guilt tripping me saying Im a horrible person, I would rather see the puppies go to abusive homes then hers. She's even offered $80 for just one. But I don't want her having one because my fear is it will be abused at her house. I will make sure all puppies find a loving home before giving them up.
So reddit Am I the Asshole for trying to protect my puppies from her? ###### | NTA.
“Mom. You already have animals illegally. I’m not going to participate in your breaking the law.” ###### |
So there is this trend on tiktok where girls put on the snapchat filter that makes you look like a man and see if it looks like their dad and then show a picture of him. I did that trend except instead of showing a picture of him I put an empty room.
It's a joke since I haven't seen my father at all since I was 6. I'm 17 now. I have reached out to my half-siblings and step-siblings and talk to them. I tried to reach out to my dad by asking them for his phone number from my siblings but he won't let them give me it.
I hate that he's absent but joking around about it makes me feel better. I want to post it because I think it's funny and think that my friends will find it funny. But my stepsis has a good relationship with him and it might piss her off. But she also has no idea how it feels to have an absent father.
WIBIA?
Also I'm aware a lot of y'all think Tiktok is stupid. I used to too but quarantine turned me into a Tiktok addict. ###### | NTA.
Our feelings about how our parents participate- or not- in our lives are valid. If it stings when that’s pointed out it’s probably because there’s truth in the allegation.
Go forth young one and tik tok away. ###### |
Have 2 kids, 12 and 15. It was 12 year old’s best friend’s birthday today, so I drove him over to the friend’s house. They’d be ordering pizza, playing Xbox, generic kid birthday stuff.
I dropped him off around lunchtime, and on the way back I noticed that the McDonald’s had reopened after the lockdown (and I’d been craving a burger). I went through the drive through and got 2 meals for me and 15.
When I got home it turns out that 15 had got too hungry to wait and had heated up some leftovers. He ate the chips and drink, but said he’d save the burger for dinner. I said fine, and didn’t think anything of it.
Few hours later, 12 is dropped back home and it’s dinner time. I’m serving up the pasta I’d made (which admittedly isn’t his favourite) my older one takes out his burger and microwaves it. 12 is then upset that 15 got Mcdonalds but he didn’t, and my partner agreed saying it was unfair.
The way I see it 12 got his special treat in the form of the Dominos so that was him done for the week. 15 hadn’t had any junk food in ages as me and the partner try to cook healthy and keep unhealthy food to once every 2-3 weeks.
My partner disagrees, because we so rarely get McDonald’s that it was in a tier above pizza but I really don’t see the logic in that. One kid got dominos and the other got McDonald’s so in my eyes they’ve both been treated fairly. ###### | NTA.
"It's his lunch. Did you have lunch?"
"Yes."
"What did you have for lunch?"
"[Birthday food]."
"Did your brother get [birthday food] for lunch?"
"No."
"Alright then. Do you want to hang out in your room for a bit while you figure out what this means?"
"No."
"Good. Let's heard no more about it." ###### |
Hey there,
First time posting. I (26f) was talking about our finances with my boyfriend (31m). He’s the only one working right now, I’m unable because of covid so I’m receiving CERB. We were going over paycheques and bills, when I noticed an extra 1000$ that wasn’t being talked about.
Backstory: his parents have lent him money recently, he also had an ex claim she was pregnant and then ran off with the child/block contact.
When I realized there was extra money not going either towards our bills, our house, or savings, I asked if he was sending money to someone this month. I just assumed he was paying back his parents, or maybe his ex had made contact and needed something for the baby. As soon as I asked he exploded with anger. Screaming at me accusing him of cheating. If it hurt his feelings and he actually thought I was accusing him, I’d have appreciated him just telling me that instead of screaming at me. He got so defensive and angry now I’m thinking there may be something sketchy going on. He was berating me of “not being happy until I get every penny out of him”, even though everything I have or make myself is put towards our house to secure a stable future together.
There’s been multiple red flags before, is this another one? Or am I the asshole? ###### | NTA.
"Hey babe, I noticed this extra money here, maybe we can take care of some bills and..."
"WHAT?! I'M NOT CHEATING WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM?! WHO SAID I'M CHEATING?!!".
He's cheating. ###### |
I genuinely have no idea what to do here and I feel like I’m in the right and don’t need to back down!!!
I have long, thick, frizzy, wavy hair. When I go to sleep at night I rub coconut oil in it and put it into a French braid. This way my hair is nice in the morning, and when we sleep, my hair does not get in my husband’s face.
When carrying groceries up the stairs to our apartment three weeks ago (we do not take the elevator because of COVID as it can get crowded), I fell. I broke my collar bone, which was very painful. Because of the break, I obviously cannot braid my hair.
My husband complains that my hair gets in his mouth & on his face when he sleeps. It also gets trapped under his head/arm and is painful for me when I try to move. I have asked my husband if he can braid my hair for me so we can both sleep easier. He refuses.
His reasons are:
1- he does not know how (I offered to show him or have him watch YT tutorials)
2- he says it is not manly
3- he says I am a grown woman and can do my own hair. If I am incapable of doing so I should cut it (I cannot go to a salon bc of COVID).
This turned into a huge fight, I told him it feels like he does not care about me. He says I am being dramatic. I told him until he agrees to braid my hair, I will sleep on the couch, which he says is being petty. I feel so angry and uncared for, but yes maybe I am being petty?
So Reddit. Am I the asshole?
TLDR: broke my collarbone and cannot reach up to braid my hair at night like I usually do. My hair gets in my husband’s face and bothers him. He refuses to braid my hair. ###### | NTA.
"Fellas, is it gay to touch your wife?" ###### |
Needless to say, I've bee dating this girl for a month and granted sometimes she likes to dress a little tomboyish every now and then but she lives an hour away and when she gets ready to leave my place to head home, I always find her putting on one of my outfits and trying to wear it when she heads home and I'm not just talking a shirt, I'm talking a shirt, pants, underwear, hat, etc, etc. Just last week she started to put on my belt and when I saw her I told her please not to use my belt because it's $40 and I use it every day because I only have the one. Well, guess what, she still wore it without me knowing and I have yet to see my belt back and he acts like when I bring this up that I'm so inconsiderate and she's going to bring it back and try to make me feel bad for being upset about her wearing my stuff when she shouldn't be touching it at all especially if she hasn't even asked if she can. Like when I found her wearing the whole outfit I kinda snapped and just asked her in what part of the world is it okay to put on someone else clothes without even asking and just start wear it when you leave to head back home and think there's nothing wrong with it and its okay. So when I snapped a little-told her a simple rule that I was taught growing up is #If it's not yours then don't touch it. Especially if you haven't even asked if you could touch/use/borrow the item that's not even yours in the first place." Well after gave her think a small bit of advice she started acting like a smart ass and saying sorry, just sorry for trying to look good for a job interview that I have. Sorry. (The outfit she was wearing what a untuck Buttondown with pink flamingos and levis boot cut khakis. That didn't even look interview worthy) So am I the Asshole. ###### | NTA.
*Especially* when she found out you literally only had one belt and she took it anyway after being explicitly told not to do so. It's not like she was taking extra stuff that wasn't being used (in which case she would still be TA for not asking) but she literally took a daily necessity! ###### |
So, a little bit of background.
My sister proposed to my mom the idea that her friends come up to our summer house for a week. My mom was super reluctant to say yes. But, on top of that, my grandma is here. My grandma said as long as they socially distance and we take their temperatures that it is ok to have them up here.
Well, my sister knew (and I just found out) that one of the friends families are hosting a pool party with about 20-30 ish people. My sister didn’t tell my mom because she knew if she did it would be cancelled. Obviously. I found out through a friend of mine and promptly told my mom in genuine fear of our health and especially my grandmothers. I had no motive other than that because I had some mutual friends I was happy to hang out with. My sister is now telling her friends what I did and now I feel guilty. I may be the Asshole because I ruined my sisters big plans. But I still feel like I did the right thing. AITA? ###### | NTA.
**Your sisters feelings and entertainment are not more important than the health/life of your family.**
You did the right thing. Unfortunately doing the right thing isn’t always fun, easy, or comfortable. Your sister should be the one who feels guilty, not you. Her behavior is cringe worthy. She was willing to put your grandmothers health at risk for her own entertainment. She seems entitled AF honestly- I can’t imagine thinking having a couple of my friends (who ignore social distancing) are worth the chance that my sweet MeaMaw contracts Covid-19.
**What your sister attempted to do was manipulative, sneaky and shitty AF. I’m not sure if she’s ignorant to what’s going on it the world, but someone should remind her we are in a fucking pandemic.** ###### |
Okay so I'm 20 and I'm a bisexual woman. Recently, my niece came out to her parents and they were less than supportive. I'm not a confrontational person so to subtlety show my support for her I put "Bisexual" with a pride flag in my instagram bio because I knew my niece would see it. I don't usually tell anyone that I'm into women unless they explicitly ask.
My boyfriend saw it and got really mad. Like, fucking furious. He says that I'm in an relationship so there's no need to put my sexual preferences in my bio because I'm not "open for shop". He said that now girls are going to be attracted to me and guys are going to fetishsize me. He basically thinks this is a precursor to cheating.
He says that my bio and my "provocative" photos are giving people ideas.
I explained to him that I'm trying to show support to my niece but my boyfriend says that I don't have a choice. I either take it out or I'm leaving.
Am I an asshole? I understand where he's coming from. All his friends seem to agree with him but I have *zero* ill intentions. ###### | NTA.
**LEAVE THIS ASSHOLE**
1. He us acting like you're trying to put your sexuality out there because you want attention from others. This is who you are.
2. He said that you don't have a choice. Are you really wanting to be in a relationship where someone tells you that you don't have a choice in *anything*?
3. Leave him. You can find someone so much better than this trash. ###### |
Before anything- I am not currently pregnant but her daughter (bfs sister) is. We have talked a lot about marriage and kids recently so its casual conversation that's talked about lightly.
We recently visited my boyfriends parents house. After a few hours we were talking about his sister and his mother said that she was upset that due to hospital rules when the baby is born she wont be able to be there. She said that this is the first grandchild (she has like 10) that she wouldnt see being born.
I right away kind of brought up that when I have kids my boyfriend is the only person, besides the doctor and nurses obviously, that are allowed in the room. She initially looked hurt and said that she had been in the room for everyone and that she would stay by my head and talk. Again I said no and said no one is allowed to see that. But this is something I KNOW I will not and can't change my mind on.
AITA? ###### | NTA.
You're giving birth, not her. ###### |
I'm F27 and my co-worker is M23, his GF makes him 3 meals a day and he brings in these amazing lunches to work all the time. He mentioned that she does all the cleaning, cooking, laundry and goes to school and has a part time job. When he told me that I was like wow you don't do anything at home? He just said work is stressful enough and she likes taking care of him. Yeah ok, I'm sure she does, is what I tell him. One day he brought in some lunch and asked if I wanted it because his GF didn't make the lasagna the way he likes it. I declined but heard him berating his GF on the phone about 5 mins later in the lobby of our office building. When we got up to the office I told him how he treats his GF is abusive and not right and he told me its none of my business and to stop prying in and spying on her personal life or he'll go to HR.... I told my girlfriend about this and she said that I'm a bit of an ass for confronting him about it and maybe it was just a one time blow up and I shouldn't get involved in his life.
AITA? ###### | NTA. ###### |
I have 3 kids, 2 of whom look like carbon copies of my husband. My husband is a light skinned black man and I am white. My third child is very dark, much darker than anyone in my husband's extended family with the exception of one great aunt.
This led to a lot of "jokes" and snarky comments about my son not really being my husband's. My husband has never doubted me so it doesn't bother me too much when they're directed at me, but it makes me insane when people say things to my son. He got picked on a bit in school over this. It used to really bother him.
At one point, my husband's great uncle made a "joke" about it to my son and me, and my husband's great aunt (who is the only one who resembles my son in complexion) chimed in that clearly my son is the result of an affair between me and her. Since then, it's become a bit of an inside joke between my son and I and seems to have helped him a lot with the rumors. My husband's great aunt has long since died, but the inside joke lives on.
My husband's brother heard my son and I joking about it recently and went off at us for disrespecting his great aunt. He thinks it's rude to her memory and to her late husband to imply that she's a lesbian. I said that she made the joke originally, but he said we shouldn't repeat it because she was old and a bit less sharp at the time she said it. I told him we have every right to have this inside joke seeing as we've been the butt of so many "jokes" about my son's parentage. My husband says he supports me but that he wishes I had just agreed with his brother and didn't make jokes when he was around. AITA for making these jokes with my son? ###### | NTA..she literally started the joke, she’d probably want you to continue it in her memory. Also your brother in law is a homophobe which automatically makes him an AH. ###### |
I hate boats. I am deathly afraid of boats. Can’t stand them. Whenever I’m on one my legs start to shake and I can’t breathe. Now I don’t live in a particularly aquatic town so it’s a pretty easy fear to live with. I just don’t get on boats.
Everyone in my family knows this, including my step mom. But yesterday, my dad and my step mom sat my brother and I down. They said they booked a family cruise for September. I said no way in hell am I getting on a fucking boat.
My step mom says
“I know you don’t like boats, but it’s a large boat so you won’t even know your on one!”
Which is one of the stupidest things I’ve heard her say. I say yeah no, refund my ticket and I’ll go stay with my mom. Step mom starts bawling, and talking about how it’s “her dream to go on a cruise”. Which is so bullshit. Last week it was her dream to own a Tesla”
She says that I’ve ruined the family trip. I say that it’s not a family trip if she’s coming because she’s not family. Which was a low blow, I take full responsibility for that. But to me she’s still the women my dad cheated on my mom with. She starts crying even harder, and runs into her room and slams the door.
My dad is mad at me now, and my brother thinks I was being rude, which is true. I was. But I’ve been pretty clear that I will not get on a boat. And to clarify, she wants my brother and I to take two weeks off of school for this trip! It’s my first year of highschool and my brothers senior year so it’s kinda important that we don’t miss two weeks. AITA? ###### | NTA...your stepmom set you up for failure. She knew you wouldn’t want to go, and she tried to spin it against you. She dangled the bait, and you took it.
So no, I wouldn’t apologize, but you’re a child living in your parents’ home. ###### |
Hello all, first time poster. Today (well, yesterday 33 minutes ago) was my 29th birthday and my girlfriend of 4 years raised a point I honestly hadn't considered until now. When I was 3, my mother and father divorced and split custody until I was 18, with them both being remarried when I was in 3rd and 5th grade respectively. My dad has since passed on (2010) at 58 and my stepmother remarried again, so my mother and stepfather are the extent of my family (no siblings, distant extended family, all grandparents deceased). Anyhow, when I was 8, my mother and stepfather got remarried and I treated the whole process as normal until I actually started developing a little emotional intelligence and had someone who I trust ask how I felt about it. As a kid and young adult, I was very much a people pleaser and more or less assumed it was just something it was my responsibility to accept. As an adult of 29, it was a little irritating to see my stepfather post endless pictures of his anniversary celebration and I haven't heard from him yet. I know I shouldn't care but it's particularly irritating because I make a point of calling him on his birthday AND father's day every year, in contrast to several years where his own kids from his previous marriage (3, early 40s to late 30s) forgot. Anyhow, I appreciate any input as I process this for the first time in my life. ###### | NTA...your mom and stepdad are though. Seriously, who chooses their 8 year old kids bday to get married?!?! Talk about fucked up priorities...and to then just treat it like it’s ONLY your anniversary? That goes above and beyond being an asshole. ###### |
My granddad was a huge influence in my life. My relationship with my mother was rocky at the best of times and whenever she kicked me out (which was often) he let me stay with him. When I turned 18 I went low (but not a complete lack of) contact with mum and lived with granddad for a while before going to uni, and he made clear that I'd always have a home with him. He passed when I was 22 and left me the lion's share of his estate. My family were upset with this and tried to get the will overturned, and failed, but this is when I went full no contact with them.
Granddad's name was Charles, and when I found out I was pregnant I asked my husband how he felt about using Charles for a boy or Charlie for a girl (fake names but same concept of using the gender neutral version of granddad's name). He said he loved it. So my daughter is called Charlie after granddad. I don't know how granddad would have felt about it, but I hope he'd have liked it.
My siblings reached out, asking me if I would be willing to catch up and maybe stay in touch. I agreed. Many of them hadn't met Charlie yet so introducing her was part of catching up. Hearing Charlie's name caused a pause and then "as in granddad Charles?" and I confirmed it.
My sister, who has a son named Charles, also after granddad, is not happy. She's said it's disrespectful to change the gender of the name and that I should have asked someone for permission because she knew Charlie was born over 5 years after granddad passed away. She said she'd asked granddad for permission before he passed and now we have a Charles and a Charlie. She's started calling Charlie by her middle name as a sign of respect to granddad.
AITA? ###### | Nta...now you have your excuse to kick the whole family. ###### |
My grandpa is old and need constant care and my family (mom, dad, sister and brother) are over to help him out, also my cousin's family is here (aunt, uncle and cousin). We don't live there but we kind of do right now, my grandpa has a pool in his backyard and I LOVE to swim. I do competitive swimming so I am a very good swimmer and I am almost always in the pool and swimming around or near the pool or just in the back yard.
I lost track of time and while I was swimming it was time for dinner (he eats around 5 and likes he whole family at the table). I was still swimming and so I put on a quick hoodie and a pair of sweats and ate dinner. I didn't notice but the bikini straps were showing and I had no idea after dinner.
Me and my sister share a room right now and she said that my straps were showing, I was embarrassed but didn't really see anything too wrong. She got annoyed and said I should dress more "modestly" in front of the rest of the family, I told her to calm down and it was a mistake. She said that its still bad and I should be more mindful of the rest of the family. AITA? ###### | NTA...how old is your sister? If she's young I can see why she said that. Usually younger girls think that you're not supposed to give any indication whatsoever that you're wearing a bra or something. ###### |
It’s my boyfriends adult sons birthday next week. My boyfriend volunteered me without my permission to clean his entire house. I told him no and he got very mad at me. He has volunteered me to clean other relatives/friends houses too. He said I was being selfish and lazy. I know it’s his birthday, but I’m certain he can clean his house.
***Edit- I live in a country that wasn’t hit hard by the virus so parties under 10 are allowed.*** ###### | NTA...are you a housekeeper? Why does he keep doing this? ###### |
I am a preschool teacher. My niece (4) has really struggled to learn her letters and numbers mostly because my brother and SIL think it’s the school’s responsibility. I try to teach her when I see her but I have explained she needs to be ready for kindergarten next year. Most of my class knows their ABCs, can count up to a certain number, etc.
Niece has no diagnosed learning disabilities and when I teach her, she’s attentive and wants to learn. It just doesn’t stick because I don’t see her often and brother and SIL do fuck all.
My brother and SIL also think it’s “cute” when she miscounts when playing a game or when she gets a letter wrong. I don’t play along and redirect her to learn.
I recently told my brother (again) that he needs to get on top of teaching her. He shrugged me off. I said her not knowing things wasn’t “cute” and that her charm won’t carry her in life. This offended him and he told me that I was insulting his child. I said no, it’s not her fault. It’s on him.
Now we’re not speaking. My mom says I should apologize. I don’t think so. AITA? ###### | NTA..... Teacher here..... Two important factors are 1) Is the kid watching Sesame Street during the day and 2) Is the parent even trying to sing the Alphabet with them? The biggest factor for a child's growth is that the parents are trying SOMETHING to show an interest in their kid. His "Let the school handle it" is starting his kid off at a disadvantage. Tell him AT LEAST to have the kid watch Sesame Street. ###### |
I don’t know how much I can talk about it, but I’m waiting on a claim to go to court that I am most likely getting a good chunk of money from. Obviously only close family like my mum know the details.
Any time the case is talked about among the family my mum immediately jumps to “we’ll be going to Disneyland with that money”, “I can’t wait to get a new suite”, or “you’ll have to give me half of it”. She always says these things ‘as a joke’ but time after time, without failure, anytime I try and make any decision that she doesn’t agree with she gets huffy, shouty, and gets older family members on board to sway me to her side, so I know what to expect when the time comes.
I’m not gonna lie, it hurts me that my mum has never asked or even seem interested in what \*I\* want to do with the money. I was thinking of putting it towards a car, Uni, or new furniture and such for my room (which is probably the most selfish option, but I study art + design and currently don’t have any space or the right resources to work from home). Maybe there’s a way to meet her half way, but at the very least I wish I could get a little bit of input.
At the minute I do live at home, and all my benefits go directly to my mum so I don’t have to worry about paying rent. But considering I don’t work, is that enough? Am I being selfish and making my family miss out because I planned ahead when I should’ve asked them first? What should I do when the time comes? ###### | NTA.... it’s your money, right? only you can decide what to do with it. it’s not selfish to use it on necessary things, like a car or to help pay for school. ###### |
My roommate works late night shifts, so she often sleeps during the day. Me, I am doing online classes, but for various reasons my schedule tends to be unpredictable - sometimes I'm nocturnal, sometimes I'm not. This is well known.
​
My roommate's boyfriend likes to come over while she's sleeping and cuddle with her while she's asleep. She knows it, she's fine with it, it's happened before. She thinks it's romantic.
​
Usually, I don't care one way or the other what they do. But the one thing I requested was some warning before he comes over. I've let him in while she's sleeping before, but that's when he texts me first to say he's coming and gives me time to at least make sure I have pants on.
​
A few minutes ago, the buzzer went off. I ignored it because we don't usually let people in without notice and the people down the hall tend to have parties where they ring the wrong door anyway. I didn't realize it was the boyfriend until he starts trying to call me on messenger. I didn't answer, because I'm "asleep." So he keeps buzzing, which is setting the dog off, which is going to wake my roommate, which I think is pretty fucking thoughtless of him since she works at night.
​
I \*could\* have gone to open the door anyway, as it's not his fault my schedule is erratic and I don't wear many clothes in my own room. I could have done it just so she wouldn't be woken up. But all I asked for was warning and I didn't get any warning.
​
AITA for not letting him in? ###### | NTA.... If they are going to be like this, they need to get their own damn apartment together. ###### |
So. the tech support company that we pay needed to reinstall software after we factory reset the computer.
Not a big deal, when we got the computer it took about half an hour to do it all.
Now, today I had an appointment so I just dropped it off. We know the owner, he married me and my husband so there's a good deal of trust.
It wasn't the owner but one of his workers. How badly could things go? They are installing their anti-virus/malware and TeamViewer, along with setting up an admi account for my husband and I.
I told him the admin password to use, I WROTE IT DOWN . And well, the password they set? ....a number is the same and there's 2 same letters in the 12 letter password.
He did not install TeamViewer or the anti-virus. He added a "primary" admin account that neither my husband or I have access to and that monitors everything on the computer.
We can no longer install/update anything. I've been texting the owner and once I laid out all the issues,he started ignoring me until my husband texted him.
This is my computer, not my husband's but both the owner and employee refused to do the simple thing I requested and ignore me. Apparently as a woman I don't know computers.
I'm furious. I've been ignored, my privacy invaded. How can I fix this myself without involving the tech support company?I no longer trust them.
My husband is furious about the monitoring software.
Would I be the asshole if I left reviews detailing this on yelp and Facebook? ###### | NTA... you would be an asshole if you didn’t leave bad reviews! ###### |
Last week my parents and I had a serious discussion concerning life insurance. They are, by no means, expecting to pass anytime soon. However, they felt the need to have this set up now and speak with me about it.
The topic of my younger siblings eventually came up. I’m about 16 years older than both of them and I’m 23 currently. They simply wanted to know who should become their legal guardian should anything unfortunate happen. Unsurprisingly, their first option was myself. Their second option is my aunt whom they both trust immensely.
They explained to me that, if anything should happen to them, that I would have to prepare to care for my two siblings. They phrased it in such a way that I’d most likely have to move, find a different job, and raise them with my fiancé. They also told me that “it would be easy” because this life insurance would be helping me financially.
I declined fairly quick. My mom was completely understanding, which I appreciated. However, my stepdad seemed bothered by my decision. He didn’t say anything beyond “but they’re your brother and sister” and “you should be there for them”. Yeah, I love them unconditionally, but I don’t even want kids of my own! And the idea of my life potentially changing so drastically terrifies me.
They haven’t brought it up again since, but I’m starting to feel a bit guilty about my choice. I definitely feel selfish, but... I feel like it’s my right to say no? On the other hand, my stepdad’s words make me feel like the asshole here. ###### | NTA... you are not obliged to look after your siblings.
I was in a similar situation, social services decided my brothers kid needed to live elsewhere and got in contact with myself.... was a long resounding ‘noooooo’ and I have two of my own. (Other family was found willing)
As much as you love these children, if you can’t give them your all then I fundamentally believe it’s better for them to be looked after by family who can. ###### |
for context: i 19M am a really big, overweight and somewhat hairy guy. when i am home, i love to be without a shirt because i get pretty hot (especially now with spring being here) and really sweaty, plus it's more comfortable.
i lived alone up until january this year. i pay all my bills and go to work everyday. in february, my uncle went homeless and needed a place to stay, so i decided to give him a hand just so he had somewhere to stay. he sleeps in my living room since i only have 1 bedroom. he cooks and cleans everyday, so i have no problem with him not paying rent until he gets a job.
with it getting warmer now, along with the stay at home orders going on, im home more often, and when i'm home, i absolutely hate wearing a shirt. i of course will wear something if i have company mostly because i do get self conscious, but other than that i go shirtless. since my uncle moved in, i don't go shirtless around him often, but i've grown to be more comfortable around him and not care if he sees me without a shirt. recently he asked me if i please wear clothes around him because it makes him uncomfortable to look at my body. it kinda hurt but i told him it's my house, and if he didn't like it, he can go. i don't get up in his business or hang around him. i spend 90% of my time in my room and only see him if i go to the kitchen to get food or talk to him for like 5 mins, so he doesn't see me frequently. i thought about it and maybe he has a point? i just want some unbiased opinions about this. ###### | NTA... that’s very strange. I don’t even have much to say because of how strange that is to me.
It’s your house. Wear whatever you want. ###### |
My friend(anna) and I live in the same town. We went to high school together and were pretty close friends since then.I moved into the current city I am living in for work and she moved to the same city a year ago with her girlfriend after her homophobic parents kicked her out(she came out to her parents at the age of 20 and hid it from them until then).
A few weeks ago,anna and her girlfriend had a messy breakup and anna asked whether she could move in with me till the lockdown ends. I said yes.
I live alone with my 2 year old dog.
Its pretty hot where I live and both me and anna usually wear a bra and shorts at home. A week ago while we were having homemade pizza,a small bit fell on her thighs and instead of picking it up she called my dog and made him eat it(lick it off from her thighs). I found this a bit odd after she commented how warm and big my dog's tongue was but didn't comment.
After that incident, I saw this happening multiple times and grew more and more uncomfortable and tried telling this was weird asf.
She laughed it off saying that it was just funny and she missed her pet from her parents house.
Today,a few hours ago,I was coming out of my room after a meeting when I saw her applying nutella on her chest and on her nipple and have my dog lick it.
I was APPALLED and DISGUSTED. she saw me while my dog was licking her and pushed my dog away and covered herself and tried to laugh it off as usual.
I was very angry by this point and told her I was going to kick her out immediately and what she did was disgusting and there was no excuse to it.
I meant it as a threat and a warning but she is refusing to apologise and is crying and accusing me of making her already difficult life more difficult while completely avoiding the issue and now I am actually thinking of kicking her out.
WIBTA? ###### | NTA... That's just... Jesus.. ###### |
I've been with my gf for a while and we are both 16. Her parents keep asking me to tell my gf to do things. Like they'll tell me to tell her she needs to study, finish her homework, eat less junk food, go on her phone less, wake up earlier, etc. The first few times I told my gf "your parents told me to tell you x" and she would just complain about her parents being annoying. We started joking around about me being her parent and I'd jokingly say things like "take out the trash young woman" or "go to your room".
Her parents kept asking me to tell my gf things. I usually didn't even bring up to my gf what her parents are saying after a while. Then they'd call or text and ask if I told her and if I can ask her again as she still isn't doing what they want. I told them " I'm her partner not her boss. I'm not going to try to parent her. If I'm worried about her I'll talk to her privately but I'm not going to monitor stuff like if she is sleeping in late or not studying enough. It isn't my job to do that." They called me disrespectful and said I should be looking out for my gf. ###### | NTA... her parents are weird ###### |
My 16 year old son got a tattoo without telling me. I saw it accidentally few days ago. He told me he got it an year ago.
I was pretty mad. Not because of the tattoo itself necessarily. It’s a small one that says “I met him by chance”. He told me that it was lyrics of the song he likes. I’m mad that he didn’t ask me about it and got it secretly. I told him that if he asked, I’d think about it and maybe I’d let him get it, but since he went behind my back he’d face the consequences now.
He was supposed to meet up with his friends and have a sleepover(Lockdown is starting to lift slowly where we live)I told him he couldn’t do it anymore and he’d have to put it off for now. He was absolutely pissed. He’s completely ignoring me now. His brother(19) thinks that I’m being too harsh and it’s not that big of a deal. ###### | NTA... he got an illegal tattoo at 15. Who knows the sanitary conditions where he got it? If a tattoo artist ignores basic rules around age of consent, who knows where else they are cutting corners. IMO he's getting off easy with a punishment rather than hepatitis. ###### |
My boyfriend (we have been dating 3 years) is Hispanic, and his mother(call her M) only speaks Spanish. I know very little in Spanish, but I’ve been learning the language so I am able to have full conversations with her soon. But I wanted to get her a Mother’s Day gift that was a bit more special than I’ve done previously, more than just some flowers/jewelry. I have a friend who speaks Spanish and I was going to have her help me write a note in Spanish for M so I would be able to really tell her how I’m so appreciative of her bringing me into her home and always treating me as a daughter, and that she’s done an amazing job raising her sons.
I thought it would be a nice surprise to drop the note off at her house with her gift.
I talked about this idea with another friend of mine and she laughed and said it was kind of insensitive. I asked how so and she said that it’s not my language and that since I can’t even speak Spanish fluently it’s a try hard move.
She got that thought in my head now and now I don’t know what to do. Would this be an insensitive thing to do? I just wanted to create a gift for her where I’m able to show my appreciation for her but I don’t want it to come off wrong. ###### | NTA... but your "friend" sure sounds like one. ###### |
So a little back ground. My BIL and SIL son (16m) lives with me and has since February. I have temporary legal guardianship of him. My food stamps recently came up for renewal and I added him on yesterday (4/27) I messaged them today to let them know and they lost their shit on me. They have been claiming him for cash aid and food stamps even though he no longer lives with them. I have 2 children of my own who I also take care and provide for. They are demanding I take him off the application so they can get more money (they don’t have jobs) so they can move out of my father in law’s apartment.
1) I can’t do that. It was an online app and it can not be deleted
2) I have never lied on my application and refuse to do so. I will not be one of those assholes who abuses the system.
Because I have done this the state will now find out they have been lying for 3 months and do a investigation and find that they also weren’t claiming the money their son was making for 6 months (he had a job at the time) this is not the first time they have been caught lying to welfare.
Now I’m being called an asshole cuz I refuse to lie to the state so they can get more money. My head is spinning around this how thing. Help. ###### | NTA... assuming you actually do have *legal* guardianship and you're in line with your state's laws, you are in the right. You're bearing the costs of their son and not them. ###### |
Me (28M) and my girlfriend (32F) have been together for 9 months and we currently live together in rented accommodation. We split everything evenly between us but pay for our own personal things, make up, computer games etc.
A few months ago upon leaving work I noticed a scratch down the side of my car across both doors and some of the rear. The quote I got for repairing of the damage was more than I could afford but I drive for work occasionally so wanted the car to look presentable. I asked my girlfriend to help me out so I could comfortably make rent payment and she refused saying this is a personal cost and not her problem.
We didn’t argue and I wasn’t too taken back as she is right and it’s not like I couldn’t use the car with the minor damage.
Fast forward to last week and my girlfriend upon returning from work scrapped the side of my car whilst parking outside of the house. The damage is much more significant to my vehicle than hers.
Upon discussing the matter she said that she will pay for her damages and I must pay for mine.
I said to her that this was unfair and she said ‘life’s unfair’ and the conversation ended there. I tried to discuss it with her one more time and she didn’t give me the time of day.
I got a quotation for the repair which exceeds what I think is reasonable for me to pay so I contacted my insurance and made a claim, having all of her details at hand. Today she stormed into the room screaming at me saying how selfish I was and that I should start handling my own responsibilities like an adult.
Am I the asshole here? I’ve tried my best to speak with her but it looks like it’s going to be a very lonely pandemic for me.
Thanks in advance for all the feedback. ###### | NTA... and get out. She clearly doesn’t respect your finances or property. ###### |
I know how I might be wrong. Calling my wife out in public, adhering to a sexist stereotype, etc. I know hoe she might be in the wrong, lying and adhering to a sexist stereotype.
So, let’s start the story. Yesterday, a couple of my friends, my wife and I were video chatting. Casually, someone asked who was the breadwinner in our relationship. She full on lies and says that she’s the breadwinner. I think she expected for me to say nothing. I just mentioned that she was lying and that I actually earned more than her
The thing is I wouldn’t’ve cared if she didn’t answer or if she said that was sexist. I honestly wouldn’t’ve. But she falsely said that she did earn more than me. That’s entirely wrong, I earn more than twice than she does.
My wife is pretty mad and won’t talk to me because “I called her out” and “I was being a sexy(st) jerk”
So, AITA? ###### | NTA... also, why the fuck does it matter so much to her? If she has to lie about it maybe she should get a better job or something if she’s going to feel so insecure about it. ###### |
This morning my mom woke me up to take care of the baby.
It went something like this m=my mother.
Op is me so it’s easier to read.
M: “Op get up now. You’re not hurting go change the baby.”
Op: “hold up my stomach is doing something”
At this point she’s yelling. And I’m already getting up.
M: “DO IT NOW!”
Op: “Jesus christ I’m getting up. You just had to wait 10 seconds.” During this time she was making a bottle.
M: “You’re always doing something! You’re head hurts or your stomach hurts. Or it’s homework. You’re so inconsiderate and a liar. I won’t take you driving until you treat me better.”
Op: “I don’t care if you take me driving. I’ll do it when I’m 18.”
This is the main problem for me. When she starts yelling I zone out or something and I don’t react to most things she says.
M: “You’re a selfish, inconsiderate child. What are a sociopath? I bet you’re lying about this. I don’t have time for breakfast and I can’t make lunch now.”
Op: “if you stop talking you can make it.” At this moment I was done with everything.
M: “You really don’t care.”
She went to her room and cried for 10 mins before going to work.
Some background. When I was around 8/9 I had a bad thing with lying. But I got over it and she still rubs it in my face. My dad can’t help as he is out of the picture. This happens almost every morning. ###### | NTA.. youre a teenager and its not your baby. Its very kind of you to be helping in the first place. Your mom sounds stressed but also like shes taking you for granted. ###### |
Some background info: my fiancée and I got engaged September of 2019, we decided to get married on our anniversary this year in October 2020. My aunt and her fiancée got engaged at the end of December 2019 like 1-2 days after Christmas and have set their wedding date in April 2021.
My wedding is going to be a courthouse wedding with a small nice intimate dinner for close friends and family (I only had 15 people or less on my list and have never wanted a ceremony). This will be my first (hopefully only) wedding.
My aunt is having a MASSIVE wedding ceremony and reception costing $60k+ with 200-500 people in attendance. This will be her second wedding.
Anyways onto the story, so back before the ‘rona started I was out with my group of close friends and a few mutuals for lunch.
I was talking about my upcoming wedding and then my Bf (best friend) and I began discussing my aunts wedding. Well one of my close friends and their mutual friend was listening and interrupted us to say that I HAD to change my wedding date because it was too close to my aunts and it wasn’t fair of me to “outshine” her. All other conversations stopped and everyone is still divided on the issue. I was so in shock I was silent for a bit and then left after saying “guess you’re uninvited then” and I cried in my bf car for 2 hours. It’s been bugging me for the past 2 months since it happened, I just can’t see how keeping my wedding date would be disrespectful to my aunt? I honestly don’t want to speak with those people anymore but maybe I’m looking at it from the wrong perspective? My absolute closest friends (known for 10+ years) say that I’m NTA but enough of them are saying that I will be if I don’t move my wedding that I’m beginning to wonder WIBTA for keeping my wedding date as is? ###### | NTA.. wait.. do I have a bum calendar because October is not even close to April...how is your date close to hers? Did I read that wrong? I don’t think you are TA for not changing the date... I think.. ###### |
I'm honestly just questioning things right now and I want honest answers. Please hear me out.
So, my fiance has a brother who is autistic. He's a great kid and he's pretty fun to hang out with. I had absolutely no problem with him until he grabbed my butt. I have circumstances that I can't handle people touching me out of nowhere and his brother came up behind me and did it. I broke down crying and I shut down for around half an hour.
After I had recovered, his mother told me,"Oh, he has autism. He doesn't know any better." I got really pissed at her when she said that because he's almost 13. I don't treat him any different than I do from my fiance's other brother. I don't give him special passes or special treatments just because he's autistic. I treat him like he's a normal 13 year old kid.
His mother got angry at me because I got protective about myself and my body and that I wasn't willing to just brush it off because he's autistic. I wasn't mad at him, I'm pissed at his mother using his autism as an excuse for how he touches other people. I'm worried he's gonna get hurt one day because his mom is excusing his behaviour.
So, am I the asshole? ###### | Nta.. the parents are putting the kid's life in danger.. autism is not a reason not to teach.. if they keep doing that, he might end up doing something to someone who won't give a fxck about his autism and end up hurting him.. have u talked to your fiance about it? It looks like the kid has a good grasp on what's right or wrong if he understands boundaries.. ###### |
So my girlfriend and I can’t see each other in person so we’ve been doing video chats during dinner and stuff like that. We have a words with friends game going and also she’ll sometimes play me at chess online. The thing is with chess is she’s one of those chess nuts who spends a ton of time practicing and reading moves and stuff. I mean it’s good for her and what she enjoys sure. But it’s not terribly fun for me, because I only know the rules, never practiced, don’t know what a queens gambit is or any of the other ridiculous move sets chess wizzes memorize. I lose completely and totally every time. She doesn’t go easy on me, so I could just press random buttons and do about as well as I do now.
Today I declined her invite to a game and texted her that I’d rather not play chess anymore. She immediately called me a sore loser and asked if I was just scared I’m going to lose. I responded that I’m not scared, I know I’m going to lose and it’s not fun.
She said “aw is the little baby going to cry”. I just didn’t respond to that and didn’t talk to her until dinner. When I called she was mad that I never responded to her. I said she was being rude and it was better that I not respond than she see what my response would have been.
She got mad again and said she’s not the one that declined “bonding time” because I’m afraid of losing. I again said I’m not afraid, but playing a game where moving randomly and trying to win yields the same result isn’t fun. She said it’s because I’m bad that happens, and I just hung up.
She blew up my phone with texts saying that it was rude to hang up in the middle of a conversation. But the way she’s acting is like if I arm wrestled her and when I won I ripped my shirt off and poured Gatorade all over myself. Or if I played basketball with her and then posted her up and dunked every possession.
AITA? ###### | NTA.. sore winning is as bad as sore losing. You dont even need an excuse to say no... playing games together is supposed to be fun and challenging for everyone.
but ... if you want to shut her down hard, heres what you do... tell her you are going to spend the night practising and studying chess (dont do that - just enjoy a peaceful quiet night at home). When you set up for your game with her, open a second game on your phone (player vs CPU) and set it on the hardest difficulty.
When she makes a move, input it into the game on your phone, then just take the CPUs reply move and play it against her.
Beat her badly a few times and then just accept your victory graciously and without celebration (or literally rip off your shirt and do the gatorade thing if you like)
Either way, problem solved. ###### |
Some context I live in an apartment complex where the doors face eachother and the space is relatively small. I understand how the camera works in that it picks up on motion and what not and sends an alert to your phone.
My primary concern with this is that this particular neighbor has a history of stealing my packages or attempting to. I've caught him at least 3-4 times stealing my chewys orders and even tried to steal my grandfathers fathers day gift when it was delivered. Hell I have to be careful with food delivery because he tries to steal my groceries when theyre delivered and my uber orders if I order out ((we are in a hotspot and im high risk for covid so I stay put most of the time)).
I also work over night so I tend to walk my dogs around 4 am when I get off and its cool. The other day I got a nasty note on my door from him telling me not to walk my dogs as I set off the alarm.
AITA? ###### | NTA.. how is he gonna install a camera overlooking a PUBLIC SPACE by the way and be mad at YOU for walking your dog.... IN A PUBLIC SPACE. ###### |
So recently Girlfriend and I adopted her siblings and honestly I love them, I see them as mine and the youngest calls me dad which brings tears to my eyes. I’ve watched the two younger girls grow since they were babies and Carlos I’m trying with him through video games and fixing skateboards.
My mom lives with us in our Ranch style home that we recently got due to previous posts gf posted.
Now onto the story.
My sister passed away giving birth to her newborn son on July 27th. It doesn’t phase me as I wasn’t close to her but my 4 other sisters are distraught and my mom knows and is mourning.
The problem now is that all my sisters want me to adopt her kids to keep them in the family seeing I’m financially stable and that I’m doing better than them. I threw it back at them and told them to adopt since they loved our oldest so much.
I’ve babysat my 9 year old niece in the past and it wasn’t a cakewalk, that child was spoiled rotten, given a tablet real early and needed the tv on just in case they got board of the tablet. When I would take the tablet she would break something if she didn’t get her way. I was never compensated for broken items and the child would complain how I barely fed her anything when shes obviously overweight. After babysitting only twice I told my sister and her niece to go fuck themselves and to never count on me if that was the way they were.
My niece and newborn nephews fathers aren’t in the picture. So I understand if I don’t adopt them they will be lost to the system but her doctor told her that her son was going to come with complications. She should’ve had a plan ready.
My mom tells me to not take them in as it was my sisters fault for not planning ahead or thinking of herself, gf said it’s my decision, and my sisters are saying I’m a douche/asshole for killing off her bloodline. So am I the asshole? ###### | NTA. Youve taken in every child so far. You have other siblings who can care for them, and if they were so close to your sister hopefully they will. You are still adjusting to your current family dynamic. Take time to focus on your core family for now. You cant be expected to take everyones children ...especially if later in life you and your gf want your own. ###### |
My wife and I currently live in a caravan on the beachside, it’s 2bed and a nice place to live, we are planning on moving sometime though as we are expecting our first child but we’re looking at a 3bed house in a similar area.
The extra bedroom was planned to be another babies room as we want two children.
My wife’s grandmother suffers from short term memory loss and everything is emotional with her, she’ll cry when you put away her food and cry when she has peas, she’ll cry about cold weetabix, she’ll hide her soiled underwear, wrap her veg in tinfoil and hide that and lately she’s been found in her garden in a confused state.
She’s got a carer but the company isn’t prepared for the state my wife’s grandmother is in anymore and has suggested a care home, my wife will not do that, I’ve suggested a live in carer but my wife believes she’s better with us (we’re her only family)
I’m 28 and my wife is 25, I don’t think I’m prepared to not only have a newborn but also someone who requires a lot of care.
My wife works from home, sometimes so she’d be the one mostly caring for our newborn and her grandmother.
She’s said her grandmother can live with us and we’ll hire a carer to come in twice a day.
The thing is I don’t want to compromise, we will have a new house and I don’t want soiled underwear hidden around the house.
My wife isn’t speaking to me currently for making her pick between her or family, we are family so it should be easy enough.
My mother thinks I’m being an asshole.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Your wife's grandmother needs to be a stable environment that provides constant enrichment, medical support, and psychological care. Dementia is not something that can be managed in an unsecured house while simultaneously caring for a newborn and attempting to work. A carer coming in to assist two times a day does not mean that she'll be able to leave the house to go shopping or take the baby to the doctor. Babies are rough on adult sleep schedules, but if you've got a dementia patient in the house, naps will be few and far between. A new baby also adds a lot of laundry ... and so does a person who has continence issues. Your wife will have to make sure that grandma is never left alone in the kitchen (turning on burners and appliances is common with unsupervised dementia patients), that her bath time is supervised (and she'll probably have to help with basic hygiene), and that all doors to the outside are constantly secured. And this is just the short-list of issues.
Your wife has an unrealistic idea of what she will be capable of handling. She is purposely NOT looking at this from a practical and realistic perspective because for her, it's an emotional decision. Validate her emotional desire to be there for her grandmother and encourage her to start thinking about what is REALLY best for everyone in this situation. It would be one thing if you were moving into HER house (where she'd be in a familiar place, which helps a lot with dementia patients), but she'd be moving into an unfamiliar house, in an unfamiliar place, and all of the people and rhythms she's accustomed to will be gone. I work with dementia patients and those things are HUGE issues that can cause enormous emotional distress. Being moved into an environment that is designed for such patients is a MUCH better option and her grandmother will benefit from the constant attention and interaction. Wishing you all kinds of luck. ###### |
Background & Context: I have a FT job in healthcare where I work a steady 45 hours weekly. Now due to recent additional stressors are work it’s more like 50-55 and I am mentally, physically exhausted after working all day and dealing with the additional stress/frustration/constant policy changes.
Years ago, prior to having our child she wanted to work and asked me to “help” her find a job. That “help” consisted of me creating her resume from scratch (she didn’t know how to) and filling out applications for her (each online application takes a good 15 mins to complete now) while at the time I was working FT and completing grad school FT in an accelerated program.
Incident: My beautiful, sweet wife is a stay at home mom. She cooks, cleans, takes care of our child. Today, she mentioned to me that she wants to earn some money by opening up a catering service. I told her that I think it’s a fantastic idea and outlined a complete business plan for her (watch YouTube videos to learn how to take quality professional photos with our DSLR camera, take photos of the food she makes, create a Facebook page, join various Facebook groups and start marketing, etc.). This was not what she had in mind, she wanted me to do all the front-end work; (take photos, create a Facebook page, market on Facebook and virtually network to our community, etc) and for her to just cook the food. When I told her “no and that I don’t have the mental/physical bandwidth for that due to already working a high-stress/high-demanding job.” Her response was “Fine, don’t help me or support me.” To which I responded, “I did help you by outlining a complete business plan for you; however, if this is something you want to do, you need to put in the hard work.” She knew I was firm in my decision, therefore, she dropped the idea and hasn’t mentioned it.
Few friends of ours side with me and a few friends feel that I could’ve pitched in more and am being TA.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Your wife needs to act like an adult and learn to do things for herself. You have a full time job - you don’t need her job to cost you more hours if your day than it does her. ###### |
So we have 3 kids, 17, 15, and 10. I’m only a quarter Japanese but spent ~7 years in Japan when I was a teenager living with my parents there. I’m pretty fluent as my job requires a lot of Japanese as well.
My wife doesn’t speak Japanese at all and only speaks English. A few years ago my oldest and second oldest wanted to learn Japanese in school which she initially encouraged. Recently they’ve gotten to the point where they can understand great but still struggle to have the confidence to speak out loud. So sometimes at home I’ll practice with them for short periods of time. Like “how was your day, what did you have for lunch, etc.” They’re not advanced enough to hold long deep convos.
This has increasingly bothered my wife because she doesn’t understand and always assume we are talking about her (we’re not, it’s all very basic stuff). It has gotten to the point where she has instituted a house-wide ban on all Japanese because she thinks its exclusionary to her and our youngest and bad for family unity. Ive tried to calm her fears but I also don’t think having 5-10 minutes of Japanese conversation every day is bad for the whole family. She told me that in the US it’s universally rude to have conversations of any length that not everyone can understand.
However when she’s not around I’ll still speak to my kids in Japanese now and then. Recently our youngest heard us speaking Japanese very briefly in the backyard and told mom. My wife came home that night apoplectic and threatened to cut off our kids tuition if they insist on disrupting our family harmony. Then we had a massive fight between the two of us where she accused me of betraying her and making her look like the bad guy in front of the kids.
I feel completely torn, on one hand I did go behind her back to speak in Japanese to our kids, but on the other she was giving 0 wiggle room. But I’m not sure if I handled it poorly. AITA? ###### | NTA. Your wife is being ridiculous. 10-15 minutes of conversational Japanese will not kill her, especially if she isn't even around for it. She sounds incredibly selfish and immature. ###### |
Title sounds bad, the situation itself might be as well.
For some background: my wife and I are both women in our mid-30s and she's expecting our first child, almost in her third trimester. I've suffered from eating disorders in the past, I'm still seeing a therapist and my wife is aware of this, even if I try not to talk about it with her. Talking about weight gain is a huge trigger for me, to the point that I try to steer the conversation away from the subject if it comes up (if I can't, I nod politely and wait for it to be over). My wife also knows of this and I know she tries her best not to talk about it, but she's been a bit overweight her whole life and has always been into different kinds of diet. That's fine, I love her and I can take a bit of diet talk once in a while, even if I'm not too happy about it.
Things have gotten worse with the pregnancy: she's always commenting and asking me if she's gained weight (like, almost once a day, sometimes more) and I try to be kind and tell her that no, she's just pregnant and looks as beautiful as ever, but she insists. I've developed some body-image issues of my own in the past year and all this weight talk is, for lack of better words, making me lose my shit. Yesterday night, she asked me two times if I think she's fat and the second time I just snapped and told her something along the lines of "You've gained weight, but that's what happens when you're pregnant".
As a result, she locked herself in the bathroom, called her mother on the phone and sobbed for an hour as I attempted to convince her to open the door. She wouldn't talk to me this morning despite me apologizing and telling her multiple times that I love her and her body very much and I'm writing this during my lunch break because I feel so guilty I'm about to cry.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Your wife is aware of the fact that you suffered from an eating disorder, correct? Then, pregnancy hormones or not, she should try not to talk about such things around you. I get that she wants someone to reassure her and tell her that she’s still beautiful, but, when it comes to her weight, she can look for that reassurance somewhere else. If I knew that my partner was triggered by something, I would do my best not to bring up that topic, especially if it could make them relapse. ###### |
So I am probably TA but I am curious
My parents split when I was around 5ish, my dad stayed single but my mom remarried when I was 11 to a guy who had 3 kids of his own. At the time they were 13, 10, and 9 while I was 11 about to turn 12, I only saw them like one week in a month cause my dad had primary custody. We never really blended cause I rarely if ever saw them and I always felt like my mom kind of forgot about me for them. There was 1 big incident when I was 13 and while at my dads they went on a really big 2 and a half week vacation, and I didn't even find out about it till I was at their place and my step sister let it out, they were trying to hide it from me..........
After that incident I lived full time with my dad and only saw them for 1 month in the summer and nothing else. I didn't cut contact but I went extremely low contact when I went to college. I met my GF in college and we dated for a couple years and are now engaged. We WERE supposed to already have our wedding but that got canceled, and now its gonna be whenever the world is safe again.
I sent out the invites, and its basically both our families and friends, I sent one to my mom and told her only she can come but not her husband or his kids. She said thats completely unfair and said she can't come if at least her husband can't go with her. I told her that I want it only family there, she said that she will think about coming but will have to think about it.
I was talking with my SO about this and she is saying that I'm being "too hard" on my mom. I said I can see what she is saying but she doesn't understand why I don't want my step family at the wedding. She dropped the convo but said she wishes I reconsider. AITA? ###### | NTA. Your wedding, your rules. Your mom made her choices years ago. She doesn’t get to play loving mom now just because she wants to. Your SO has not had the same experiences as you and is most likely having difficulty understanding the depth of damage your mother did your relationship. So cut her a little slack. ###### |
I’m getting married in exactly 8 months. My mother is very excited, I’m the first daughter out of 5 to get married.
My grandmother, my mother, my aunt and my cousin all wore the same wedding dress, unaltered, not tailored, just the same dress. It looked beautiful on all of them because they’re all beautiful women, but I don’t have an interest in wearing it. It’s not my style and I would feel bad altering it to make it more my style.
When I got engaged, my mother was so excited that i was gonna wear her dress, and freaked out when I told her I wasn’t going to. She told me I breaking tradition and it was bad luck, but told me I can’t alter it, so I’m kind of stuck in a corner. I decided I was going to wear the dress of my choosing but wear her veil. That was not good enough for her and she won’t talk to me about wedding things because it “breaks her heart”
AITA? ###### | NTA. Your wedding, your choice. End of discussion.
Bad luck? I just can't. Weddings and marriages aren't "successful" bc of luck. ###### |
I have grown a peach tree from seed. A lot of care and planning had gone into this tree, from genetic planning to training and now I have gotten my first harvest(6lbs of fruit- dwarf tree)
A few days after harvest, my mother asked me when I’m going to distribute some along the neighbourhood to which I said I wasn’t planning on doing so. She says that’s mean as people have noticed the tree and are expecting something and I said yea well tough luck.
I intend on eating a good chunk of it myself fresh and then preserving the rest by pickling them with honey.
Note: all care towards this tree was performed by me alone and it’s on MY private property and not a communal area. ###### | NTA. Your tree, your land, your peaches.
The Song goes 'Millions of Peaches, Peaches for me.'
Tell 'em Peaches for me, not for thee. ###### |
My fiance(29m) and I(29f) are (world affairs permitting) getting married in October. This is my first wedding but his second. We are having a small wedding (50 people or so) after a short engagement because we both want to have multiple children, and we want to start trying as young as we can.
My fiance is friendly with his ex because they still have several mutual friends and are part of the same D&D group. I say friendly instead of being friends because we have had some issues with her and boundaries, such as her complaining that they dont have the level of communication that they did before, and getting annoyed that he didnt drop everything (cancel time with me) to support her on a bad day, and half a dozen other small moments that get blown up into things much bigger than they should be. I dont think she is doing this maliciously, I think she was just naive enough to believe that she would still be one of his best and closest friends after the divorce and is struggling with the reality of it. Because of her issue with boundaries, I decided very early on that I do not want her at the wedding. and my fiance supported me wholeheartedly. No issues there.
Here's where I worry we might be the assholes. After making our guest list we realized that we are inviting almost all of their mutual friends, except for his ex and her boyfriend(who is the man she left the marriage for but that is neither here nor there). Friends they made during the marriage, the entire D&D group, people his ex introduced him to...yeah. we made the list simply by inviting those people that we wanted at the wedding, but we did end up inviting everyone around her. I have no intention of extending an invite to her because I do not trust her to not make the day about herself, even if it is an asshole move, but are we the assholes for leaving her out of something everyone else is coming to? ###### | NTA. Your title is misleading. You aren't excluding one of his friends. You are excluding his toxic ex. Nobody should be surprised that she isn't invited. ###### |
From the age of 13-17 yo I went to a boarding school where I was bullied. Although there were many people that treated me like shit, there was this one guy who's worse than the others. From name calling to physical bullying, he did it all. I was horrified of him. Really horrified. It went to a point that I absolutely willing to do anything so just I won't have to stumble upon him.
At the age of 15 I was diagnosed with anxiety disorders and depression. Sure he wasn't the only cause of it but he sure did his fair share. I couldn't drop out of the school because I went there on scholarship. Dropping out would mean I have to pay it back. Could not really talk to any adults either because snitches get way more stitches. In the subsequent years, I learned to make myself small so that nobody would notice my presence. Things did not get better but it's bearable.
A few days before I officially finished my highschool and went my own ways, he came to me apologizing. I asked him why he treated me horribly for all those years. He told me that there was no reason for it. Apparently I might've rub him the wrong way somehow. He asked me to forgive him because once we out of school we probably will never met again.
I told him no.
A few days ago, his wife reached out to my friend asking for my number. She called me asking if I'm willing to talk to his husband. Apparently he's not in good condition health wise and is still bothered that I didn't accept his apology. I don't know the details but my friend told me he's dying.
My therapist told me that I need to let go of my past. My boyfriend told me to be the bigger person and I will be TA if I were to ignore him.
WIBTA if I still refuse to talk to him or accept his apology? ###### | NTA. Your therapist is right, you need to let go of the past and move on, however that doesn’t mean that you have to accept his apology. He terrorized you for years, you don’t owe him anything even on his death bed. ###### |
Throwaway.
My parents divorced when I was thirteen years old. Two years later my dad married my step-mother. Now I (25 F) am got married to my fianceé (27 M).
Anyway, my step-mother is against LGBTQ+ and HATES when females wear suits, so she FLIPPED when I asked my Tomboyish and non-gender confirming friends to stand by me on my side. They both looked wonderful in their suits by the way.
Anyway, my mother berated me for inviting them to my bridal party and it made me angry, because they were my closest friends, no matter what.
So I told her to be quiet and not come to my wedding if she doesn't like it and added: "they're my best friends and I want them there."
She ended up not coming to my wedding but later I got a call from my step-sister yelling at me for being rude to 'our' mom.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Your stepmom should be more accepting and it’s your wedding not hers. ###### |
I (f17) live with my mom and my step dad. my step dad and I have never gotten along, and it's progressively gotten worse as I've gotten older.
he frequently insists that my anxiety and depression issues are fake and I'm doing it because I'm desperate for attention. he says extremely mean things to me, like calling me a charity case, a dick sucking whore, and worse.
as much as I hate him, my mom keeps him around for financial "support"(he blows all his money on stupid things)
my mom says I have no room to complain because he offered to buy me my horse. Although that was a kind gesture, around November he completely cut me off because he says I don't do enough. I am now over 1k in debt with horse bills(board only, my horse has proper vet care).
I recently got a job so I can cut myself off financially from them, and he has tried to manipulate me into quitting. saying things like "your mom needs you to stay here", lying about losing my cats, and telling me I'd be r*ped at work.
today was the straw that broke the camel's back. my mom is very aware of what he puts me through, and she got her government check today. she went out and bought him a new phone "because she wanted to do something nice for him". I explained to her how upset I was because he's done nothing but abuse me.
I think at this point, if she's still with him when I move out. I'd highly consider cutting ties with her.
AITA for feeling like this and thinking about ending the relationship we have? ###### | NTA. Your step-father is abusive, and your mother is enabling his abuse. You're absolutely justified in wanting to cut this toxicity out of your life. No one should have to put up with abusive behaviour, and if the best way to protect yourself from his abuse is to cut both of them out of your life, please go ahead and do that. Your emotional health is important and worth protecting. ###### |
Throwaway.
My parents divorced when I was thirteen years old. Two years later my dad married my step-mother. Now I (25 F) am got married to my fianceé (27 M).
Anyway, my step-mother is against LGBTQ+ and HATES when females wear suits, so she FLIPPED when I asked my Tomboyish and non-gender confirming friends to stand by me on my side. They both looked wonderful in their suits by the way.
Anyway, my mother berated me for inviting them to my bridal party and it made me angry, because they were my closest friends, no matter what.
So I told her to be quiet and not come to my wedding if she doesn't like it and added: "they're my best friends and I want them there."
She ended up not coming to my wedding but later I got a call from my step-sister yelling at me for being rude to 'our' mom.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Your step mom is discriminating and your step sister supports that from her response. If they really cared and wanted to be there they would have looked past all that. Sad that their hate extends further than their love. ###### |
- This is a throwaway. I am typing this on my tablet.
Me and my husband have two children, twins boy ( "Liam") and girl (" Molly") who are 10.
Our rules for giving them pocket money are:
- £10 is the start off.
- Any bad behaviour that is continued after a warning will mean £1 is deducted.
- For the 5 weekdays they will each have the oportunity to do 2 houshold tasks a day, each task rewards them with an extra £1 towards their pocket money. If they do 2 chores a day for every weekday, their total is £15.
- If for each weekday their room is tidy (no mess on floors, clothes and toys put away) then they get and extra £3 towards their weekly total. We let them know in advance if we feel their room is unclean so they have a chance to earn the money.
- If their bed is made each week day then they get an extra £2 for the total.
So if they do all of this their weekly total is £20. On the weekend any chore they do earns them a bonus £1 which is given to them right away.
We always set aside easy chores, and always give them a chance to say yes or no. We do not save better chores for either of them.
Liam's pocket money at most has been £14, the least he has ever been given is £6. We offer both of them a chance to earn back money they lost. Molly almost always gets £20 and will do a few bonus chores as well. Molly sometimes saves her money, the most she has saved it for is 5 weeks, Liam has had many arguments with me and his dad saying that we are picking favorites and giving her more money. She has more stuff than him but that is because she earned the money and saves it.
My MIL and FIL do not agree with mine and their sons ways. But we both believe we are doing nothing wrong, since there is no reason my son would not be able to do chores, and we always offer chores to him. AITA? ###### | NTA. Your son has the same opportunities and is choosing not to do them, as well as not to save. It's a life lesson.
Also, my room is clean so can you send me a couple? ###### |
Last year my mom was diagnosed with pretty much a death sentence, ALS. I talked to my ex and he didn’t wanna just let me take our son( now 14). So we agreed to talk to him and let him know what was happening, kinda, I just told him grandma was really sick and I was thinking of moving to help out and he had the choice of coming w me or staying w his dad. It was painful but he choose to stay and I respected it, I just didn’t tell him how bad my mom was idk if that would have changed anything but I didn’t wanna guilt him or anything like that. I have friends who have said I should have let him know the extent of my mom illness and guilted my ex into letting my son move w me but I just can’t do that. He’s a teen and loves me and his dad and comes for the summer and spring break I can’t guilt him into wanting to live w me. It across the country like a 24 hr drive. I feel like an AH for not doing everything to get my son to live w me but I don’t want him to resent me for making him move, so tell me honestly AITA? ###### | NTA. Your son at 13 would know what grandma is really sick and I need to take care of her means. It’s not like he’s a little boy. You left the choice up to him without guilting him and that’s being a good parent. ###### |
Post ahead so get in.
Backstory: I am the oldest out of 5 and have graduated high school and moved from my state to go to college. My family is no strangers to drug and alcohol use, one of the family members was selling drugs for a long time but got arrested for getting caught. My parents were drug addicts and my father is an alcoholic.
Now i dont use drugs or drink [I'm 19] and I'm very proud of that life. I dont care for alcohol and I've tried to smoke weed but didnt like the side effects. However who I am concerned about is my little sister [L for the sake of the story]
L is 15 years old and lives with my grandparents. She has been smoking weed since she was 13, and has started to drink not soon after. She posts constantly on social media with her smoking out of her bong, drinking vodka, and posts like "I miss the homies and the drugs". She talks to me about it nonchalant, and I can't help but worry a bit.
I've brought it up to my parents and they arent doing anything, and I also mentioned it to my Grandparents [her legal guardians] my concerns. My grandparents arent the best people but they just dont seem to care and say "Its her life, let her do what she pleases" and usually they tell L that I mentioned telling them and she blows up, sending vulgar texts and telling me to "Stay in my lane"
She recently had posted that she was going to try Acid and I am contemplating her texts reporting it to Child Services, as this is child neglect in my mind and I dont want her to slowly drift towards other drugs.
Edit:I have been expressing my concerns for her numerous times and I have been explaining how this can affect her brain and shes like "You cant tell me what to do." I've tried to talk to her. I've tried to voice concern with the family, and they don't budge.
Reddit, would I be the Asshole? ###### | NTA. Your sister's brain is still developing, heavy drug use will not be good. Please report it. ###### |
I’m my homes Cinderella basically. No, my family isn’t abusive. But all the chores in my house are given to me. Everyone else is exempt from picking up after themselves...I must do it for them. If I’m sick and can’t do it, no one will do it. If I don’t feed the dog, no one will do it. Giant spill on the counter? Whoever did it won’t clean it up. I have to do it.
My sister is the worst out of the 3 people in my family. She will cook something and leave the scraps of food all over the kitchen all day. There’s so much clutter all over the counters there’s no room for anything. Day after day I have to clean it.
I’ve mentioned this to my parents and they don’t give a fuck. My parents are very lazy tbh and if it’s not their problem or if it doesn’t affect them they don’t care. They are so easy on my sister who can do whatever she wants, when she wants. She’s 17 and I’m 22. I’ve asked her to contribute and clean up after herself but she just whines.
So today she made a salad. There’s lettuce all over the counter, chopped tomatoes on the floor, and dirty dishes left all over the table. So I took her mess and her dishes and put it on her room on her floor so she’d finally clean it. She freaked out and asked why it was there and I said “because it’s your mess and if you keep refusing to clean up after yourself, I’ll move the mess to your room so I don’t have to deal with it. It’s ready to be cleaned whenever you are!”
She flipped out and told my parents I messed up her room and they got upset with me saying that I’m causing drama in the house and that my sister is bored being in the house all day and doesn’t need this stress. AITA? ###### | NTA. Your sister sounds like a spoiled brat. Your parents sound like spoiled brats as well. Stop doing things. Feed the dog but stop contributing otherwise. I understand your parents expect you to do these things but you aren’t a maid or their slave. If they expect it then tell them you want to be compensated for it.
But in general OP it sounds like you need to move out if you can. Your whole family seems lazy and toxic af. ###### |
I’m immunosuppressed, and my wife is in the hospital for a few days. I’ve been texting her but we decided it was better if I didn’t go in to see her to limit my exposure chances to covid. I’ve been texting her, but I drew her a picture that I wanted to send and I wrote a note to go along with it. My sister works as a nurse at the hospital, so I asked her if she could take it in for her when she gets a chance.
She took it in yesterday, and then she texted me that what I wrote was sweet and that the drawing was good. I asked how she knew and she said she opened the envelope to look at it before giving it to my wife. I got annoyed and said that she shouldn’t have opened it, and that I didn’t tell her that she could open it, and I also didn’t tell her what I wrote so it could have been something private. It happened not to be, but it’s the principle of the thing.
She said that I’m over reacting and it’s not a big deal. AITA? ###### | NTA. Your sister shouldn’t have opened it. It doesn’t matter if it was private or not - you don’t open other people’s mail, even if you’re the mailman, even if the mail is for family. ###### |
I have a trainwreck sister. She has one daughter who is 13. They live in a small house. My sister does not work and refuses to get a job. She's on welfare and I occasionally buy them groceries, She's fucked up from years and years of meth. My niece was turning into my sister 2.0 and was recently taken away and is now in foster care. Too many calls to the cops and CPS visits.
My sister is devastated. She's been crying and sunk into depression. Her daughter refuses to speak with her. The plan is for her to live with her (loser) father. I felt bad for my sister and dropped off some bagels and cream cheese. She spent about 20 minutes saying that she was a horrible mother, her daughter hates her, etc. I could tell she was waiting for me to assure her that it was untrue, but I didn't because it's true - my sister is a horrible mother and her daughter does hate her for good reason.
I finally couldn't hold it in any longer and asked her why she was even sad? Nothing good was ever going to come from her place and her daughter was clearly on the wrong path. Foster care is better than living in what she was living in.
I could tell that it hurt her, but I was keeping it real. ###### | NTA. Your sister needs to wake up and get her life together if she wants her daughter back. ###### |
For context, this is on discord. I’m 18 and my little sister is 12. I recently came upon a server that she’s in, and found out that she had been telling people she was 17. That really didn’t sit right with me, especially considering she was talking to a boy who was 18. They keep flirting and it’s making me worry about her safety, putting herself out there like that when she’s so young. I’ve been thinking about messaging the staff of the server quietly and also telling the boy, but I don’t want to make it a public matter. The reason I’m making this post is that I’m worried that I’ll damage her friendships with people and/or my own relationship with her. I don’t know if this is the right course of action. WIBTA? ###### | NTA. your sister might not like you for it, but lying about her age (especially for someone as young as her) can be really dangerous. i think quietly telling the staff and the boy is your best bet. i’m sure that boy would feel incredibly uncomfortable finding out he was actually talking to a 12 year old. ###### |
Before you think I’m a horrible person, there is a reason. My cousin, Linda, has the most lovely 3-year old ever. I love her with all my heart and I miss them like crazy.
Linda lives about an hour away from me(26f) and my sisters (14, 23, 28, 29). Since all of this crazy mess happened, if a cousin had a birthday in the area we would all drive by their house, beep, and say Happy Birthday. The cousins we’ve done it with have been 9 and 15. Their parents reached out to us before hand that they would like us to come and do this.
Linda has not asked anyone to come to hers, probably distance being a reason. But Linda’s daughter has been having a hard time with not being able to play with others. She has a 6-month sister, and Linda has constantly been keeping the kids entertained. Linda’s mom and sister live right next door to them, but since her sister is an essential worker, they haven’t been able to go over and play.
Linda told me and my sisters about how said her daughter would get extremely upset when her sister and mom would say hi through the window. After they leave, she would need to be comforted because she would constantly ask “why doesn’t anyone want to play with me”.
When my oldest sister suggested we drive over there to say happy birthday from the car, I said we should ask Linda first. My sister said she would rather have it as a surprise. I kept insisting, saying that I don’t think it’s a good idea and let’s at least ask Linda because while it may be fun for the few minutes we are there, we are not the ones that have to console a sad 3-year old after we leave.
My sister got angry at me and uninvited me to go. I understand that they want to do something nice (Linda’s husband actually put together a video of family singing happy birthday for her along with a special message from a princess) but not at the cost of causing more harm than good. I at the very least would like Linda to know so she can decide if her child can handle it.
So AITA? ###### | NTA. Your sister knows Linda doesn't want this but is still pressuring everyone to do it? Big yikes. ###### |
Hi! Second time posting here.
Okay so basically– I really really dislike taking photos or videos of myself, and I hate it when others do that too. It might just be an insecurity issue. I just don't feel comfortable when people do it, but even though I tell others that often, I still get dragged in for photos very now and then.
My sister’s a streamer on Facebook. She’s not INSANELY popular or famous but she definitely has a sort of big following.
A few hours ago she decided to take videos of me and uploaded it onto her Instagram story where her fans could see it. I didn't notice that she did that until she told me about it, and obviously I grew kind of irritated.
I've told her multiple times that I really just don't like when others take pictures of videos of me ( or call me cute, because it makes me uncomfortable ) but she continues to do it anyways. When I told her I really didn't appreciate that and showed that I was kinda annoyed, she teased me ( which she does, a lot, because she says she loves to annoy me ) and laughed, before asking me if I was going to cry about it (for some reason whenever I get annoyed she always asks me if I'm going to cry about it. I guess it's because she thinks I'm a crybaby?)
I feel like I was kind of being a jerk when I got pissed off. After that I sort of thought and felt like I was overreacting because it's just a short video, and there was nothing for me to get mad about but I dunno. ###### | NTA. Your sister isn't respecting how you feel about the situation. I second contacting Facebook about getting it taken down. ###### |
Thieving sister
So my sister (15) has been buying stuff off of our grandmas debit card. I told my mom multiple times to get my grandmas card number change because my sister has the information written down somewhere. She doesn’t change the card, and my sister buys $100 ring as a gift for her girlfriend, which she has shipped to our house. I grabbed the package and told my grandma I’d ship the ring back and get her her money back but my mom and dad just want to let my sister have the ring and pay her back over time... am I the asshole for being pissed at my parents for not taking action on this or am I overreacting? ###### | NTA. Your sister is stealing from your grandma and no one is doing anything about it? Bring this up to your grandmother, and then you both should take this to the police. ###### |
My older sister and I share the house we grew up in as part of our inheritance. To keep this as concise as possible, my sister’s boyfriend and I absolutely do not get along. I genuinely do not think he’s a good person and have no problem going out of my way to avoid him. My sister is well aware of the fact that we don’t like each other, but is constantly setting up scenarios for us to get together and hash out our differences.
Although I don’t like him, I don’t care if she brings him over as long as she lets me know when he’s coming, which she normally does. I got off work yesterday and found him in the living room, and when I asked how he got in he said he used a spare key. To my knowledge we don’t have a spare, just the two keys that both my sister and I have, but I shrugged it off and went to my room. When my sister came home, I asked when we got a spare key and she said she copied her key and gave him one so he could come and go since he stays over often. I was furious, because this was never discussed with me. When they went to bed, I took the key off the ring and I have no plans on giving it back. She’s upset with me because she says that the house is just as much hers as it is mine and I don’t have the right to take things that “aren’t mine”. ###### | NTA. Your sister is right it is just as much her house. If this was a discussion about whether he can come over, I would be on your sister’s side. In this case, her giving him a key gives him access to your home and things 24/7 even when she’s not there. Giving someone a key should be a mutual decision between everyone that lives there. ###### |
Last night I (f15) was talking to my sister (f13) about how I've been looking to make some extra money lately because I've been wanting to buy a new phone and haven't been getting many shifts lately because of coronavirus.
I said to her that I wanted to sell a dress that I had brought online, because I didn't like it as much as I thought I would and saw it as an opportunity to make some money. She said that I shouldn't sell it and *give* it to her because she likes and would wear it (I have had this dress for a few months and only worn it once, but I have never heard her say anything about liking or wanting the dress). I told her that I would prefer to sell it and make money. She ended up saying that I care more about money than my family and that I'm being selfish.
I think that because I own the dress I should be able to say who I sell or give it to, even if it does come across as selfish. I feel like she is guilting me into giving her the dress and keeps bringing my parents financial situation into the argument, saying that she wants the dress so much that even if I did sell it she would go out and buy a similar one with my parents money knowing the would make me feel bad. I also know that had the situation had been reversed she would have not given the dress to me.
I feel like we're both probably right in some way, but it has become a huge fight and I just want to know if I'm being the asshole. ###### | NTA. Your sister is being a brat. Your dress, your decision. Tell her she can buy it from you if she wants it that much but otherwise I ay go for it. Nip that emotional blackmail right in the bud. ###### |
I work in a supply warehouse and was given the option to buy medical grade masks for personal use. The only restriction is that we were only allowed to buy 1 mask per person living in the same house as you.
I live with my parents, so that meant that I could buy 3 masks. I gave one mask to my dad (who is 65 years old, diabetic and still working full time) one mask to my sister (who works part time buying groceries/picking up prescriptions and provides household assistance for the elderly. She also has an asthmatic son and a diabetic daughter) and kept one mask for myself because I am working full time and have been the person going grocery shopping for our household.
When my mom found out that I didn't have a mask for her, she blew up. Yelling at me for being selfish because I didn't get her a mask. I explained about the limit on how many masks I could buy, and reasoned that since she was laid off and hadn't left the house in 3 weeks, she didn't need a mask. Also I would be able to purchase 3 more masks in 2 weeks, so I would be able to buy her one then.
My dad has sided with my mom, and said that since the limit was for each member of the household, then I shouldn't have given my mom's mask to my sister. ###### | NTA. Your sister is at far more risk and far more in need of a mask than your mom is. I would’ve done the same thing. ###### |
Throwaway account as my Family knows my Main.
My sister and I are around the same age. I (25F) and she (22) never really got along. From a young age it was clear that she was the favorite child. She got everything she asked for and more. I think it made her entitled and spoiled.
I am currently going to college, and live on my own in a small 2 room apartment. I won some money a while back and work besides studying, so I am pretty well of. I am not home most of time.
My sister and her kid still live with our parents. She doesn't go to work since she's a single mom. Now she decided she wants to go back to college ( which I genuinely support) in th ecity I live. It's a 5 hour drive from our parents hometown. She doesn't want to go to work, and does not want to hire a babysitter. The Father of the Child is still in the picture and offered to take my niece in. My sister refused and said she didn't want to be separated from her child.
Without ever asking me, my parents and sister decided that my sister and niece would move in with me, and I would cover all costs on my own. She is already enrolled in class. They also decided she and her kid would move into my bedroom and I would sleep on the couch. I was also supposed to watch my niece. I said no. My apartment is really small and even though I am well of, I can't comfortably support my sister and niece financially.
My parents, grandparents and other relatives all called me and screamed at me for not supporting my sister and niece. My sister is already enrolled in class. Cancelling would cost a lot of money. My parents want me to pay it, since I am the reason she can't attend classes. Since then, I muted my phone and cut off all contact from my Family. I talked with my Friends and they all called my the Asshole for not supporting my sister. Am I really TA? ###### | NTA. Your sister is an adult and it’s not your responsibility to assist them. ###### |
I’ll keep this short.
So my sister and BIL are having a baby. She’s 4 months along.
My sister has BPD and she’s been getting serious mood swings but still absolutely refuses to see any doctor/therapist about it. I’ve known my BIL for years (since college) and he’s told me recently how tough things have gotten with my sister.
The breaking point came last week when BIL texted me saying sister has started to throw things at him. He said he came home with take out but got the wrong sauce or side or whatever, next thing he knew she was flinging silverware at him. When he tried to leave she grabbed a heavy bowl threw it at his face (it missed but still).
I immediately offered a place for him to get away. He took me up on the offer and stayed for 1 night while we tried to get my sister professional help again. She made a surprising 180 over the next day after BIL left and started calling all our relatives/family saying I’m trying to intervene and destroy her marriage.
She told our family and relatives that I was now conspiring with her husband to leave her while she’s pregnant. BIL has gone back now but things are still dicey and I told him to call me if things get out of hand again.
Both my parents called me today to say I’m betraying family. After I told them of her recent unhinged actions they said if I really cared I would make sure BIL stays with my sister who’s the real vulnerable one, not give him an “easy out” from marriage. They also said it’s obvious I didn’t care about her wellbeing or else I would’ve taken HER in instead of him. It’s true I never offered to take her in.
AITA if I don’t do any of this and just let BIL stay with me when he feels like it? I can’t help but feel like no one takes my sister’s terrible actions seriously in my family and I know if I were in BIL’s shoes I would want a place where I can distance myself from all that. ###### | NTA. Your sister is abusing him. She could have seriously injured him if had been hit in the head, and this is just in regards to a situation he told you about.
BPD isn’t an excuse, nor is being pregnant; she needs to take responsibility for her actions and seek professional help.
Phrase it to your parents like this: the main issue is that she’s having violent outbursts. If she doesn’t do something to control it now, who’s to say that something potentially way more serious will happen when she’s responsible for a baby?
Your sister needs help, but not the kind your parents seem to want to give. ###### |
I (19F) have two twin 3 year old sons that I gave birth to in highschool, two years before I met my fiancé. Their father (19M) is also heavily present in their life. For a little background, I am Sicilian and Greek, and their father is Korean. Safe to say, they look very not white.
My fiancé, however, looks very white. Curly blonde hair, pale skin, blue eyes.
Whenever me and my fiancé go out with them, no one assumes that he is the father, which has never bothered me, my fiancé, their father, or my boys. Even now, as I am in the last few weeks of our first pregnancy together, we haven’t had any problems with our family. My fiancé and his parents are ecstatic for our baby girl, and so are my boys and their father. The only person it does bother is his older sister.
Three days ago, while we were setting up the nursery in our apartment, his sister began talking about how I was not fit to be a good mother, and all the “complications” that would come from her being raised by a “dirty white”
mother and surrounded by “halfling brats”; along with how she wanted nothing to do with my sons lives, only our daughters because she needed “actual guidance”.
Of course, I went mental. I told her to get out of our apartment and how she could return her bridesmaids dress at her nearest convenience.
My husband says I went too hard on her, and how she is just overprotective of him. I explained that she was blatantly disrespectful to me and our sons, and how I wasn’t going to tolerate it. He attempted to compromise and told me I needed to apologize, even if I don’t forgive her.
AITA for refusing to apologize, or let her back in the wedding party? ###### | NTA. Your sister in law needs to know/learn that racism is not ok, and you fiance should not excuse it. ###### |
I'm 13, my sister is 23. We have a great relationship and I'm even kool with her boyfriend.
Last week I was supposed to spend at her place, as we hadn't seen each other during the lockdown. Her bf would be there 3 times (they don't live together).
It was all good till their "night activities" woke me up in the middle of the night. Her flat is large and out bedrooms are at the opposite ends of the hall. So that meant they were loud.
I hoped it'd end soon, but they were in for a ride. I tried headphones with music, I didn't hear them, but couldn't sleep with loud music blasting. I didn't say anything as it was their first night and thought they'd tire each other out.
Well, same thing next night. I was knackered the morning after, plus I learned the boyfriend would probably come around more than 3 times.
At the point I started to ponder getting back to my parents, as I have insomnia and it could mess my entire sleep schedule.
I told my sister I forgot helping my friend with chemistry and my mum picked me up.
She couldn't wrap her head around and constantly asked me. She probably knew I was lying as we know each other well. She asked me if she had done something wrong, I told her no and we'd do the same thing next month (her boyfriend would be abroad), but she wasn't having it.
Eventually I told her, I couldn't sleep as I heard them shagging and she was shocked.
She even brough it up at our family dinner, which was super embarrassing, because I hadn't told my parents. And it looked like she was mad at me. My paretns didn't want dive in, but told her it'd be good if It could be arranged that I wouldn't sleep there when her bf did.
She got upset, calling me nosy and eventually left earlier. She's not replied to my messages or calls.
AITA for telling her the reason? ###### | NTA. Your sister has no right to be mad at YOU. You're 13!! She should NOT be having loud sex whilst you're there (nor anyone!). ###### |
My daughter (9F) recently got her period a few days ago, and my husband who was in the medical field thought it would be better if we both talked to her together.
We did the whole birds and bees talk, and that she shouldn’t feel uncomfortable asking dad to buy pads and tampons for her.
We wanted her to feel comfortable and get used to it.
Dad did the explaining while I went out with my daughter to go buy her pads and teach her how to use them.
Both of us thought this was okay, and our daughter seemed completely fine with it.
She never seemed to be uncomfortable, and seemed genuinely kind of relieved.
I was talking to my sister the other day though, and she blew up at me. Telling me dads shouldn’t be the ones teaching this. I shouldn’t have told him, and it was my responsibility alone.
My sister told me it was an invasion of my daughters privacy, and most of my immediate family agrees with her.
I’ve never thought of periods as something other than something that happens biologically.
On one hand, at least my daughter learned, and has a supportive dad. On the other maybe it was wrong of me to bring dad into this. ###### | NTA. Your sister has an outdated and frankly damaging view of things. My guess is that your daughter was totally okay with it because she was raised by parents who don't see any part of anatomy or biology as taboo or off-limits, and that is a very good, healthy thing which she will hopefully carry forward in her own future family (if she chooses to have one). No one should feel like there is anything gross or wrong or taboo about their body or that they can't discuss things with either/both parents. I hope I've raised my sons to be dads like your husband is, and I hope they find partners like you who are open to them being involved. ###### |
Me [19M] and my sister [19F] had some big problems a year ago. She started acting really creepy towards me. She walked in on me while I was showering a couple of times. Then one morning I woke up to her naked in my bed, spooning and humping me, while her hand was on my penis. Our parents refused to believe me for a while until she admitted to it. She got therapy and cut out the behavior. It was obviously very uncomfortable and traumatic for me. I had tried to move on from it as my sister was acting better.
Anyway recently I caught my sister on my phone. After I got it back, I used my computer to see that she had sent and deleted pictures to herself from my phone. The pictures were nudes of myself. I was so shocked and upset that she would do something like that again after everything.
I wanted to delete the pictures off her phone but she has a password. So I called her girlfriend (they have been together for 6 months) and asked if she knew. I broke down and explained everything. She was shocked obviously. I deleted the pictures. Her gf is the only person to believe me and truly support me about it actually.
Anyway her gf broke up with her citing what I told her. My parents are furious at me for sharing this personal information with someone outside the family saying it could ruin my sister. They say I could destroy all the progress she has made. ###### | NTA. Your sister fucked up and you did her ex a solid by telling her information she needed to know if she was going to be in a relationship with her
I’d recommend counselling, for everyone, and distancing yourself from your family would probably be for the best, if you can ###### |
A bit of back story: About a month ago me and my friends were out and while my friend was driving he spun out his car and we got pulled over. I didn't know at the time but the fucker at a wax pen on him, we all got sent to a holding cell for our parents. They let me and my buddy off light cause we had no idea and we were just passengers to the whole thing. But my buddy got his license revoked and is practically grounded till senior year (we are sophomores). Word got around about the wax pen and EVERYONE at my school knew about it. As for my sister, she is a year older than me and our parent's go on trips for their anniversary and she and a couple of her friends did a couple lines of cocaine. I didn't find out till I overheard them in the kitchen and she made me promise not to tell.
My sister has teased me constantly over this wax pen, I don't even like smoking weed and I didn't even know he had it. I get called a "stoner" and all sorts of things, and whenever m in my room she bangs on the door saying that I'm smoking in there, its annoying as hell.
At dinner we got into a little argument over something I don't even remember but she said something like "I bet you want to go smoke a big fat fucking joint huh? You drug addicted loser". I had enough of her calling me a stoner or whatever when SHE was the one who actually has done drugs. (this is where I might be TA) I said "Oh yeah? At least I didn't do this" and then did the hand motions for snorting coke. Mom and dad were in the living room so they didn't see it. She called me and AH and went to her room without even finishing dinner.
Apparently our brother who's 2 years younger than me knew what I was doing and told on her. She got grounded and my sister is PISSED at me, I don't feel like I did anything wrong cause I wasn't the one who snitched and she was constantly provoking me. AITA? ###### | NTA. Your sister forget the rule about people in glasshouses throwing stones.
She played herself here. ###### |
My girlfriend and I were doing long distance, so we didn’t get to see each other often. When everything was shutting down both our employers made it so we could work online. We thought this would be a good opportunity to get some quality time with each other. So I went to stay with her.
My sister found out recently and has asked if she and her daughter can stay at my place for the time being.
My sister and her daughter currently live with our parents and our younger sibling. Our parents are a bit pushy and very strict about keeping things tidy. My sister says it wasn’t so bad before, but after being stuck at home with them they are driving her completely crazy because they are getting on her about her parenting (niece she a bit ill mannered for her age). So she needs some space away from them.
My mom has since confirmed they are not getting along right now.
To be honest though I just feel uncomfortable with them staying there without me. So many things could happen without me there. Especially with a little kid running around. I mean so many things could happen with me there too, but at least I would be there to quickly take care of anything that goes wrong. Not saying she definitely would, but she would be able also to go snooping through all my things and I don’t like the idea of that.
When I told her it wouldn’t be possible she said I was being a dick and a sucky brother since I should have offered it two months ago when I left to live with my girlfriend in the first place and knew she didn’t get along with our parents. ###### | NTA. Your sister doesn’t become magically entitled to your house just because she’s bickering with your mom. She needs to find her own place. ###### |
So I (16F) like to bake, I buy my own ingredients and make something every week or so. I share with my mom and sister (21F), and sometimes her friends if they're over. Its not like I can eat everything myself anyway. This happens every week ish, for the past year? Year and a half? For a while.
So I few days ago when I finished work (grocery store) I texted my sister to ask if there was any food, or if I needed to buy some. She told me there was food, so I went straight home.
When I came home there was no food, there was meat in the freezer but no time to defrost, no bread, no eggs, not much. Couldn't order food, since it was past 9 pm.
My sister had ordered two pizzas, so I asked if I could have a few slices, I offered to pay for them. She refused, she wanted to eat them for lunch the next day. I offered to pay for the whole pizza, so she could order a fresh one tomorrow for lunch, she refused again.
This wouldn't have been an issue if she told me there was no food, I would have bought something on my way home. But she apperently didn't check. I ate some plain rice with salt, it wasn't too bad. But I'm still annoyed she's been eating my baking all this time, and couldn't spare two slices of pizza. I even offered to pay, she doesn't pay for the baking, even though she makes much more than I do. She's been acting a bit entitled with the baking already, getting annoyed when I didn't make something she wanted or enough for her to take to her friends, so this was extra annoying.
So the next time I baked something and she came to grab some I told her no. I don't want to share. She got annoyed and told me I could have some pizza (which had been in the fridge for 3 days) if it's *such* a big deal. I refused again, I don't get much joy from cooking for her anymore.
My mom thinks it's petty, but doesn't want to get involved. My sister has been huffy about it. But I don't feel like I have to share at this point.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Your sister could easily have shared with you and seems to have a pretty entitled attitude for an adult who earns more than you. You don't owe her what you've put your time, effort and money into. ###### |
So my girlfriend and I live together, and my sister is staying with me mostly against my will, because otherwise she would be homeless and I can’t really in good conscious do that.
My sister used to be bulimic and anorexic, she’s mostly better now. She still eats kind of slow but other than that seems fine.
Today my girlfriend was wearing this cute dress even though she can’t go anywhere so I told her she looked nice. We were in the kitchen and my sister was in the living room with the tv on, so in earshot but it shouldn’t have been all up in her face. I gave her(my girlfriend) a kiss and she complimented me, then I went on with my day and went back to work.
After dinner my sister told me that she rather I not compliment my girlfriend in front of her and said it makes her feel bad. I think this is pushing the envelope on what I’m willing to give in to body issues. When I was a teenager I had to eat in my room so she wouldn’t see me eating, and I had to never talk about weight, which while annoying was slightly understandable. But I’m not going to walk my girlfriend into our bedroom, compliment her, then walk back.
I told my sister that while I feel bad that it upsets her I’m not going to stop complimenting my girlfriend. If she has a problem with innocuous conversation she can stay in her bedroom. She got mad and said that I didn’t care about her body issues.
AITA? ###### | NTA. Your sister cannot live her life always avoiding triggers. ###### |
So a little bit of context; I (14M) live in NYC and have 2 siblings: my sister (23F) and my brother (8M). We live in a brownstone where my parents have the biggest bedroom, I have the second largest, my brother has the third largest, and the other 2 bedrooms function as guest bedrooms. My sister lives in a college dorm, and only spends breaks at home.
So until my sister went to college she lived in the second biggest bedroom (where I currently stay in), I stayed in the third largest (where my little brother currently lives in), etc. However, once she went to college we all 'moved up a bedroom'' I guess, and now when she visits she usually stays in one of the guest bedrooms. One thing to note is that my bedroom is quite a bit bigger than the guest room.
Until now there's never been a problem with that arrangement. Recently though my sister had to come home due to current events, and it looks like she's going to stay until summer break ends. In light of this she wants her old bedroom back.
My parents agree with her, and say since she's "older" she should have more space, and I ought to be more understanding and whatnot.
I absolutely refuse. All my stuff are in this room, I've stayed here for the past 5 years, and frankly, IDGAF that this was originally her bedroom. However, my parents are basically making me, and in reality there's not much I can do about it. So reddit, for my peace of mind, AITA for not wanting to give up my bedroom for my older sister? ###### | NTA. Your sister can stay in the damn guest room. ###### |
I was with my former spouse for many many years. Turns out he was unfaithful to me for almost every one of those years. He ended up confessing he was in love with my sister and wanted to be with her as well. At first I was crushed and dumbfounded. I felt powerless to stop the situation. Eventually I left my spouse. I tried seeing other people just to have another family member of mine manipulate me with the guy I was seeing at the time and they got together behind my back. He dumped me and kicked me out of the room we shared.
I didn't stop trying to see people.. but I kept it more casual, less commital. That was until I met my current bf of almost a year now. I decided that he made me happy and recently decided to move. My sister claims I abandoned her, my ex spouse and their kids. AITA for moving on with my life ? ###### | NTA. Your sister and ex husband are diseased worm ridden AH though. She should have thought about the consequences of her actions before spreading her legs for her sister's husband if she didn't want to feel abandoned. And that disgusting nematode ex husband is no better. As it stands now, she can shove her opinions where the sun don't shine. You're NTA. You've had awful taste in men so far but still NTA. ###### |
My sister in law has a horrible habit of making impulsive decisions at the drop of a hat, usually requiring my wife to get her out of situations and pick up the pieces.
She also has a habit of adopting animals just because they look cute and giving them away as soon as they grow up, or prove too much to handle.
Recently, somehow, someway, she managed to obtain a fox. A fox that's barely older than a baby.
Foxes are illegal to own where we live, even with a permit, and she knows this. I don't know alot about foxes, but I do know that they are very high maintenance and hard to take care of, plus my sister in law has a tendency to neglect the animals, which often leads to call a regarding the welfare of the animals.
I texted her shortly after I found about, saying that foxes were illegal to own, but to not let him out because he probably couldn't defend or hunt. She replied that she knew perfectly well what she was doing (spoiler alert! she didn't) and to mind my own business.
I brought up animal control to my wife, but she flat out refused. She said that she'd never forgive me if I called them.
But I was concerned for the Fox and, in the end, called animals control, who took away the fox, gave my sister in law a fine (17,000) and now she's facing jail time. She's furious, and so is my wife, who is now refusing to talk to me, even though it's been a week since the whole ordeal.
An input? ###### | NTA. Your SIL is an asshole and so is your wife for enabling her. ###### |
To preface my father passed away about 2 months ago. I was incredibly close with him, I moved states away from my mother to rebuild a relationship with him after their divorce. I went through all of high school living with him and lived a city away throughout college. He was my biggest supporter. So I (23M) am having to go through all the processes of insurance and retirement my father had set up in his name. He had 2 policies with one life insurance company that had me and my 2 siblings, so it was all split evenly between us 3. But he also had another where I was the sole beneficiary, as well as the sole beneficiary of his retirement. My siblings had never really been close to my dad. My sister hadn't spoken to him or seen since last June. My brother who is a habitual liar and kind of shitty person, only really saw him on occasions. And most times it was when he needed something. Thought out my childhood they were never present they had both ran away numerous times. Sometimes we wouldnt see them for a year or more. But my dad always helped even if it costed him loads of money. This is where my dilemma comes into play. My mom is telling me that my dad left the rest of it in my name for a reason, and not to go against his wishes by giving them any. Would I be an asshole if I didn't? ###### | NTA. Your siblings will probably disagree (of course) but you earned that with your extra care and love you showed him. If the cats not already out of the bag I’d keep quiet about the extra inheritance you received just to save drama. But if they already know just stand your ground, as an adult you made the effort to respect your father, they did not. Your mom supports that as well despite any guilt you may feel, he did give it to YOU as a reason.
And also, I am sorry for your loss. ###### |
My sister is special needs and autistic (I'll call her Rose) and I love her dearly and do everything I can to help her while I still live at home. My sister is pretty well-functioning but not enough to be on her own because she'll never remember to eat, drink fluids, chores or any basic hygiene she may need. Now my mother always told me that she never wanted her in a home or group home if something were to happen to her. My sister's dad wants nothing to do with her on account of her disability. We're all still pretty young now and I don't have to worry about this for awhile because our mom is still young but if something we're to happen to her she has it in her will for me to take care of the rest of my siblings and to make their choices until they are of age. My other sibling's dads could take them in but for Rose her dad doesn't want her and he'll only take in my brother and my younger sister has her dad. If the time comes when we are older I don't know what to do for her. My boyfriend and I have talked and said he'll be fine if she lived with us for awhile but I'm scared something will happen to her because I don't have the time to attend to her health like I do now. So AITA for being not wanting to take her in when I'm older because I can't give her what she may need? ###### | NTA. Your sibling is not property, she can’t be willed to someone.
You didn’t say how old you are, but at some point you will need to have a frank, adult conversation with your mother about accessing resources to care for your sister as you cannot and should not be expected to take on that responsibility in lieu of living your own life. ###### |
My sibling has a small dog that they want to register an an emotional support animal (ESA) by using this website that states it is a legitimate site for registering your pet as an ESA. I had made a comment saying that if they wanted to do that, they needed to do it properly and get approval from a therapist as most websites like that are total scams and just end up with people printing off a piece of paper to ‘certify’ they have an ESA.
They got upset and continued to argue it was a legitimate website. I then asked why they wanted the certification as I hadn’t known they were struggling with any mental health issues (I was genuinely curious). Here’s where I got mad. They said they only want the dog certified so it can fly on planes without being in a cage!!!
As someone who has a mental illness and is in therapy for it and struggles everyday, I found that offensive in a way. They were abusing a system created to help those with legit illnesses just so their dog could fly in their lap. I told them that wasn’t a smart idea and it took away from legitimate ESAs and just perpetuated the problem of falsified ESAs and service dogs. They got upset and said it was fine because everyone else does it and they don’t want the dog to be in a carrier for hours on a flight. I continued to explain why that wasn’t smart and was bad for the people who really need these type of certifications. My parent stepped in and agreed with my sibling as well saying that they weren’t directly harming anyone. I just left the conversation and it hasn’t been brought up since but I know they still plan on doing that anyways.
AITA here? ###### | NTA. Your sibling is abusing the system. My mother in law is blind. People like your sibling make things more difficult for people who actually need to have a dog with them for legitimate purposes. ###### |
I'm 16 and my mom and I don't have the greatest relationship, but it's not exactly bad. We are just very on and off. However, recently we've been trying to work more as a team and be more open with each other. Well, it's currently Thursday and I had an online therapy session on Tuesday. My therapist and I were having a conversation about sex so that she can understand if I exhibit sexually deviant behavior ( I don't lol). She asked me if I had been sexually active. I was honest and said yes ( An important thing to note: I have a boyfriend and our relationship is incredibly strong. We've been dating for just under a year and we talk to each other about everything. So neither of us ever do anything we're not comfortable with). Being 16, I can legally decide to not have a parent/ guardian present at my session. I chose not to have my mom there, as it was an incredibly private session. Right about the time the therapist had asked the question, my mom came into my room to borrow a shirt and she heard all of it. After my session, I went to talk to her and she was a mixture of shocked, angry, and idk what else. She kept saying that I was too young and shouldn't be doing it. I then started to get frustrated because I feel that it's MY relationship and I can do whatever I'm comfortable with. I kind of started to feel bad for not telling her, but she also shouldn't have walked in on MY therapy session. I'm not particularly mad at her, but I'm frustrated that she's getting mad at me over my private information. So, lay it on me Reddit. AITA? ###### | NTA. Your sexual activities aren’t the business of your mother. You get to decide what information you share in regards to your relationships and what you do with your own body. The fact that she came into your room while you were engaged in a therapy session shows a total lack of respect for your privacy. ###### |
First post on this sub, basically, I was set a 1500 word essay by school amidst the lockdown, a task set to me. We'll call dad P. P got sent the email (aswell as me) so as to make sure that the assignment got through to me. P asks what project I am doing, and I tried to explain that I wanted to make all choices myself, as I wanted to write about male mental health, a very personal issue to me, and a problem in my school. I finished my essay, and I am very proud of it, and ready to submit. P is now insisting that I show him my work before submitting, and when I asked why, he replied that he is a key role in my life and helps me all through school. P has not been supportive of me, and has rarely made the effort to help when I needed it. In my essay I criticised the lack of parental and school support for men with mental health issues, and I know this isn't a worldwide case, just in my area etc, I did not name specifics I just knew if he was to see it he would get angry, and force me to change it. He is now threatening to not let me go to the school that I chose, it's a free school, so no expense to him, but he said that due to my awful attitude of not showing him my work, he wants me to go to a school which is closer by, and more tightly run. P has said that if I dont show him my work, he will not hesitate to start punishing me. AITA for not sharing?
TL;DR not showing my dad my personal work, dad threatens with all sort of punishment ###### | NTA. Your school work is your business. He has no right to DEMAND to see it ###### |
I (21F) was on the phone with my grandma and she was telling me how she has a weasel/ferret animal holed up in her stable, and she needs to call an exterminator.
She lives in a different country and we were speaking a different language. The world for the animal doesn’t have a direct translation, but it sounds like “co*n”.
I asked her,(not in English) “So when do you think the extermination will come for the *koona*” (that’s roughly how the word is pronounced.
I was in my room but I went out to the kitchen to make tea when I said that sentenced. My English speaking roommate looked at me funny but I didn’t think much of it.
I went back out and she said, “You shouldn’t say slurs like that. It’s not your word to say and I thought you knew better.”
I look at her, still very lost. “What are you talking about? I wasn’t even speaking English, you don’t even know what I said.”
She explained what she thought I said, and told me it’s very insensitive that I throw that word around.
So I tell her, “I didn’t say that word. What I said was weasel. Why would I randomly switch to English and say a racial slur to my grandma?”
She doesn’t let up, and proceeds to call me insensitive and that I need to learn to be more politically correct.
I tell her, “Just because words sound similar, it doesn’t mean I said what you think. My word, which means weasel, also has a different ending. Can we drop this conversation?”
She doesn’t say anything else and we both went to our separate rooms. AITA for how I handled it? ###### | NTA. Your roommate is an idiot trying to be woke. In English someone would have thought you meant calling an exterminator for a raccoon if you said coon after you explained yourself. Ignore your roommate. That’s utterly ridiculous she even made the assumption of what you were talking about in your language. ###### |
AITA - I live in a rental house that the owners used to live in before moving so it's pretty nice. There is an in-ground pool that has a heat function, but because of electricity cost my roommate and I rarely use it. I normally swim year around at my gym, but due to the current situation I have started swimming at home using the heat pump. When I told my roommate that I wanted to start using the heat pump he complained about cost and I agreed to pay for any increases to the electrical bill (based on the average of this month last year). Since then he has been swimming every day. I told him if he was going to swim then we needed to split the bill evenly. He refused saying that whether he swims or not I would be using the pump and heating the pool and that I agreed to pay for it. I think if he's getting benefit from it, he should contribute. I'm tempted to just turn the heat off, but swimming is such a good low-impact exercise that I've relied on since injuring my knee last year. ###### | NTA. Your roommate is a real wank but you’d be shooting yourself in the foot by shutting the heat off. Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face. ###### |
First time ever writing in!
Background:
I rent a room in a house shared by 4 people. We’re all college students and didn’t know each other prior to renting(we each pay rent to the landlord separately.) I’ve lived here for a little over 2 years now and have definitely become friends with my roommates. Last year, one of them decided to get a cat. We were all fine with it and the landlord didn’t care, so she adopted a sweet little guy from the humane society.
I’ve never been a huge cat-person, but sometimes I’d feed/play with him if she wanted to leave for a few days. We all have a friendly relationship, but I wouldn’t say we’re close. Also relevant, I love plants and have quite a collection of beautiful house plants. When she got the cat, I moved them all to my room and make sure to keep my doors closed because some of them are toxic to animals.
On to the story:
A few days ago, I went to work-I’m a receptionist at a medical office and am the only one in my house that still physically has to go to work every day. When I came home, the entire house was in a state of panic. One of my other roommates had gone into my room to borrow a pair of scissors and accidentally left my door open. At some point, the cat walked into my room, chewed on my pothos and got really sick. He was taken to the vet and is currently recovering and is doing just fine.
My roommate now wants to charge me for the vet bill because my plants made her cat sick. Although yes, I did know that they were toxic to animals, I’ve had some of these plants for years and wasn’t going to get rid of them because she wanted to bring a cat into our home. I told her that it’s unreasonable to blame me for HER pet going into MY room. I took precautions by always closing my door.
I told her that if she wanted to blame anyone, it should be our other roommate who left the door open.
Now she’s mad at me for ‘getting her cat sick’ and my roommate is mad at me for blaming them. AITA? ###### | NTA. Your roommate got the cat knowing you already owned toxic house plants. You did the right thing and moved them into your room away from the cat. Is the cat is solely hers even though you all take part in playing/minimal care? If so, she (because it is her cat) should split the bill with your other roommate who left the door open. If you were hoping to keep the peace, I'd offer to get a lock for the door but I would not pay that bill. Good luck! ###### |
I’ll keep this short and simple. Me(29m) and ex(29f) have a 3 year old daughter. We split custody 60/40 and I pay $1000 in child support. I've always worked remotely and I’m stable in my current job so it’s not likely that I’ll be laid off. I’ve always saved just encase though.
Due to current circumstances, My ex was laid off. She asked me if she can borrow someone money until everything dies down. I asked how much and she said $6000. I said no, that’s too much. We got into a fight about it. She said I’m an asshole for not helping the mother of my child during this “situation”. We’ve been fighting about this for the past week. Anyway it ended with me take custody of our daughter and her moving into her parents by the end of the month. AITA for not loaning her money? ###### | NTA. Your responsibility is to your child not to your ex. And $6000 is clearly not just for the child. That’s excessive. If she needed money she should ask her parents or other people before she asks you. ###### |
I've been paying for my netflix account for about 8 years. In that time, I've let my dad use my netflix account. I told my dad a couple months ago I was thinking about cancelling my netflix account since I havent used it in months. (Me and my S.O always watch netflix together and use his account). My dad said "do what you gotta do". I cancelled it and he texted me saying he wants to take over my account and change everything over to him. I told him he should just start his own Netflix account. Theres only a couple days left on my Netflix account, and I get an email stating the billing had been updated. I attempt to log in and it states my email is not associated with any account(he changed the email too). On one hand, I understand it's just a netflix account and he didnt want to lose everything he watched or his profile, but I also had a profile I didnt want to lose. It would be there if I ever started my account again which is my right since I've paid for it for 8 years. Also, I feel like its rude he did it when I asked him not to. I called Netflix and they said theres nothing they can do. So, AITA?
Tldr: cancelled Netflix account that I've been paying for. My dad asked to take over my account and I said no and he did anyway.
(Sorry for formatting. On mobile) ###### | NTA. your reasons are totally valid and your dad is a jerk for doing it after you specifically asked him not to. ###### |
I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, so I know his family decently well. My boyfriend's family is from NC. We live in NY, separate apartments. His grandpa (who also lived in NY) just passed away on Sunday. They planned a funeral for Friday in NY. I told them 3 of his siblings could stay here since I have a 2 bedroom and my boyfriend has a studio.
As of yesterday 6/24, governor Cuomo started a mandatory quarentine for people coming from NC, among other states. This brought to my attention how had NC is with covid right now. They live in a city in NC, so it's not like they're exactly safe. Their city has twice as many new cases everyday as New York city. All of New York city has less new cases per day.
If they get caught being here from NC, they could be fined $2000. I think it is wrong of them to think they're the exception to this rule. This rule is in place so more people don't die or get very sick. I told them I had to reconsider housing them.
They planned this funeral before Cuomo put the order in place. Their other family is coming from Miami (another covid hot spot).
Am I the asshole for changing my mind because I learned how bad covid is where they live? ###### | NTA. Your reasons are perfectly understandable.
If anything it's selfish of them to expect you to go through with it. Your well being is at risk. Financially and healt wise. ###### |