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would you be the jerk for outing your best friend of 10 plus years we'll get into that in a bit but first am I the jerk for correcting my stepdaughter's dad when he called me her nanny I've been with my wife for eight years now she has primary custody of her daughter Santana 9. Santana sees her dad Mark every other weekend and some holidays as I've been one of Santana's primary caretakers for the past seven years since I moved in with her mom I have taken care of her more than Mark has and we're quite close my wife and I have went on to have two children together who are now five years and 18 months I've been a stay-at-home dad since the five-year-old was born as a result I'm the one making lunches driving kids to activities Etc that includes for Santana Mark has always felt insecure about my place in Santana's life I've always encouraged her relationship with her dad while also been a place she can go to in order to vent about both her parents I've never asked her to call me dad but I've made it clear I love her the same as her siblings and she she's also said that she loves me and considers me her second dad Mark also mocks me for my stay-at-home dad role my wife always shuts him down and I just ignore him he has in the past jokingly called me Santana's a nanny and I just roll my eyes and say whatever you think Mark I really don't see him much as my wife will take Santana to her dad's and pick her up however yesterday my wife was sick and asked me to pick up Santana she really couldn't get out of bed and I knew Mark wasn't going to drive out to us he's refused in the past so I went over to his place to pick her up he was throwing a barbecue and had some family there I'd never met any of them Santana ran into my arms excited to see me and shouting my name a few people looked at Mark curiously he laughed and said that's Santana's nanny I shook my head and said I'm her stepfather Greg nice to meet you all Mark turned red and barely said goodbye to Santana I didn't think much of it outside Mark just being Mark however Mark texted my wife later singing I human humiliated him and given I'd likely never see those people again I shouldn't have said anything my wife told him he's overreacting and then he then texted me saying I had no right to correct him in his own home he asked what was the big deal in his family thinking I'm her nanny am I the jerk 100 not the jerk you have every right to correct somebody when they call you something that you're not it's not even like op did it in a snarky or crappy way they didn't address anything the guy said they just said I'm her stepfather Greg nice to meet you all literally the most stand-up reply Opie possibly could have done I just feel bad for the dad having such insecurity here also hi I'm Stephen and if you guys enjoy getting to decide whether or not all of these people are jerks why not hit those like And subscribe buttons down below that said our next story is am I the jerk because I ate early we were on vacation with my husband's family we got here Sunday afternoon and I was hungry I made food for myself and my son my husband said to wait for his family so we could all have dinner together or maybe even go out it was around four o'clock and he was saying we'd eat at seven I said I was hungry and my son and I ate after that the three of us Sat by the pool his family arrived around six and everyone was hungry and wanted to go out to eat I don't know if it was the traveling or what but I was exhausted so I said I was too tired and would go to bed early my son stayed home with me because he wasn't hungry and wanted to stay I woke up early this morning and I made tea and sat by the pool while my son played when my sister-in-law woke up she came out to the pool and told me off for eating early not going to dinner and being so standoffish she said everyone wanted to see me and my son and I was being such a bench I said I was tired from traveling she said if I forced myself to stay awake I'd be on the same schedule as everyone else but since I went to bed early and woke up early I was going to have the same excuse tonight she also told me off for not making breakfast when I was the first to wake up but I didn't know when when everyone was going to wake up and no one wants cold breakfast she just rolled her eyes and walked away I feel like everyone's been standoffish to me all morning and I'm wondering if I should apologize was I a jerk I just don't think LP was the jerk in the situation they're just trying to manage as best as they can being super jet-lagged honestly I can't blame them personally as I've gotten older it's gotten to the point where when I get tired it's hard to tolerate just forcing yourself to stay up when you are utterly tired all you want to do is just lay down considering traveling can be a very zapping thing I'm willing to bet that after a nice long night of rest even if they're gonna stay up later compared to when they did the previous day they're probably going to be able to stand it a bit more I think op was just unjustly being berated here our next story is am I the jerk for asking if my daughter-in-law fell when I heard of her miscarriage my son announced his wife's pregnancy at eight weeks after hearing the heartbeat unfortunate at least she had a miscarriage around 10 weeks when my son called me on the phone I was so shocked that I just blurted out why did she fall she did not fall by the way I didn't realize I was on speakers during that call and my daughter-in-law overheard my reaction when she got pregnant again they didn't announce until well into the second trimester due to my daughter-in-law ending a very unexpected C-section my son requested my help to come over I cooked cleaned did laundry for them washed the baby Etc despite all my hard work she was still very cold towards me and treated me rather poorly I finally asked her why and she admitted that she was Furious when I sounded very blaming when I asked if she fell that's why her previous pregnancy ended in a miscarriage I told her that I asked if she fell not to blame her in any sense but out of concern for her I said that I'm aware there are other reasons that they occur as members of my immediate family have suffered the same I was very sad to hear the news all of us were so happy excited about our first pregnancy then the next day heard the sad news we all called to speak to her directly and see how she was but we're told she wasn't ready to speak we tried to give the space and time she needed for the situation I don't think she believed me though am I the jerk for asking if my daughter-in-law fell that's why she had a miscarriage even if it's a thought that does come to your brain you should really keep that to yourself because like op themselves said it could happen for a variety of reasons maybe you could ask are you physically hurt why did she fall if that gets back to her not only is she already going through a terribly tough thing but is reminded of an earlier tough thing and also probably gets put back in that mindset of if you have a miscarriage while you fall I can't imagine how hard it would be not to blame yourself for that happening who needs to be brought back into that mindset right now this next story is am I the jerk for pre-gaming my wife's dinners my wife and I are both 32 since we got married and moved in together five months ago my wife has simply not made nearly enough food for me this is not a kind of situation where I'm constantly agitated at her for incompetence or anything like that I would be more than happy to microwave a burrito I would be more than happy to whip up a peanut butter and jelly sandwich but I can't my wife has every single night of our marriage done the same thing she'll make me a tiny dinner I'm talking like a Chinese chicken salad with 30 grams of chicken and 10 leaves of lettuce arranged fashionably with dressing when I finish eating I'm still hungry because for a 230 pound man who works a physical labor job it's not enough food at first I tried to openly communicate with her but she always took it horribly she would adopt a thousand yard stare and then begin talking about how incompetent she is and how she can't even make her husband a proper dinner I try to calm her down with oh honey that's not the case I just eat too much or don't worry about it I can make a bit more I'd try to be overwhelmingly positive it never helped she would always just get incredibly disappointed in herself cry and or take it out on me then she would make the exact same amount the following day after the communication route failed I tried to eat her dinners as is it became hard to sleep at night due to hunger and I lost seven pounds in the first month eventually I figured out my own system on my way home from work I started swinging by a fast food restaurant and getting myself a burger I would basically pregame her meals with some more calories I figured it was win-win as what she doesn't know can't hurt her and I could have my fill of food I would eat on my way home walk in the door pick at the salad or quinoa or homemade mac and cheese she made compliment her for her delicious cooking and later dispose of the rappers discreetly two days ago I was on my way home and in line at a drive-through my mother in law was coming out of the restaurant she ran over and greeted me I asked her in a humorous way not to tell her daughter where she saw me because she'd take it badly and she agreed but then she knocked on me anyway I got home to a furious wife who demanded details when I provided the truth she got extremely angry and looked legitimately hurt I'm not good at handling confrontation and I feel like I betrayed my wife in some way was I wrong here this is definitely one of those little things that you consider a small thing that builds up to be a very big thing the more you do it without you realizing it if you stopped there one time and fill up before the meal because you know it's gonna probably be a hungry thing that's one thing but for you to adopt this practice of stopping there every time on the way home and thinking that's the better route rather than continued communication and Hands-On effort Island Gopi was sorely mistaken what I would have liked to have seen is maybe op take some time off or God forbid kid goes hungry for an extra hour or two and gets hands on with them and helps make the meal and kind of shows them Hands-On how much op wants to eat I mean what better way for them to properly learn how much to make and how to make it our next story is am I the jerk for telling someone that his achievement just meant that he had Rich parents I 23 year old male have been with my current company for a year now recently a new guy Jack joined our team fresh out of college last Friday my manager invited everyone to a bar after work there Jack told everyone about an achievement that he obtained over spring break he visited his 150th country Cambodia in contrast to everyone else who were asking things such as what was the best worst strangest thing you ate which countries were your favorite and any cool stories I just said good for you and went back to my drink Jack noticed me being quiet and asked me why I wasn't joining in I said don't worry about me but Jack kept pressing the issue I finally said Jack visiting 150 countries is cool and all but it doesn't say anything about you as a person it just means you had Rich parents who could afford to travel internationally several times a year I grew up poor literally worked my butt off in high school got a full ride merit scholarship and did everything humanly possible to land my current six-figure job rich people who think they're better than everyone else just because they had Rich parents is a huge pet peeve of mine but my co-workers didn't know any of that since I like to keep work in my personal life as separated as possible Jack got really quiet after that and left soon afterwards now it's Monday morning and I'm wondering if I should have just kept my mouth shut honestly having written this up and posted it out for people to see I hope Opie feels a little bit ashamed of what they did so because this person is in a more fortunate situation and they were able to visit these 150 countries they can't talk about it they can't share that as a legitimate achievement op themselves said rich people who think they're better than everyone else just because they had Rich parents is a huge pet peeve was this guy going around flexing that he was so much better than everybody else or were they sharing their achievement with other people that they thought might be interested in hearing about it I mean shoot if I visited 150 countries Rich parents or not I'd want to tell people about it to be honest I think op was either just extremely insecure or jealous here our next story is am I the jerk for refusing to spend time with my stepsister backstory I'm 15 year old female my parents divorced a year ago because my father cheated he married to the affair girlfriend like instantly I think he's a complete jerk and told the judge I wanted to live with my mom so I do but they still said I had to go to my father's every other weekend I don't want to see him so I refuse to go at first but it was stressing my mom out with court stuff I agreed to go as long as his wife is totally hands off and I can stay in my room and not be bothered except for one family activity of their choice so that's where we are every other weekend my dad picks me up talks at me in the car because I won't talk to him we go to Family Therapy where everyone but me talks I stay in my room until sometime Saturday when I go out with them to do something fun and then mostly stay in my room until my mom picks me up on Sunday I have plenty of stuff to keep me busy so I'm fine but everyone else not so much a fair wife has kids 12 year old female and nine-year-old male that would go to their dads on my weekends so I never saw them but the schedule changed so now they're there when I am the nine-year-old is fine he asks to borrow a video game now and then but he's like polite about it and gives them back so sure the 12 year old won't leave me the freak alone anytime I don't literally have my door locked she's barging in trying to talk to me or wanting to do something I tried to tell her to leave me alone in a nice way but last time I just upped and told her I never want to talk to her and I'm going to ignore her from now on she cried about it a fair wife got mad my father said she's having a hard time with the divorce too and I shouldn't take it out on her I told him he could stop forcing me to visit then and problem solved everyone is mad my mom says she gets it but the 12 year old probably is just looking for someone not her parents to talk to I just don't see why it has to be me so this one is really tough because I know op definitely has these hard set in feelings but it does sound like in all consideration of things that the father is trying their best to have a relationship with op and it is tricky because the 12 year old to me sounds like somebody that could be maybe looking up to op or wanting to connect with somebody like they said that isn't their parents I'm really conflicted here because I don't want to Discount what Opie's going through in their feelings I just feel like it's the kind of thing that maybe 10 years down the road they look back on and think maybe they regret the way they acted I don't think Ops wrong or their feelings at all personally I think something like a personal individual therapy would be really good for op our next story is am I the jerk for doing chores the way my husband suggested resulting in his stuff being ruined I'll keep this short I work from home and make less than my husband so I do more chores in general I'm fine with this but he never seems happy when I'm done with the chores the pillows aren't fluffed enough on the couch or the mopping is done wrong the worst is that he'll tell me to do the chores wrong use boiling water when mopping we have fake floors it'll damage them use the wire sponge on no stick pans and so on it drives me crazy so he made the comment again about doing it his way and it'll be cleaner so today I did that took his favorite pan and used the wire sponge to clean it I recorded it and yes it scratched the thing up when he got home he flipped and we got into a huge argument but my point was I was just doing it as he told me to he called me a jerk and I'm doubting myself since I did mess up a good pen I don't think Ops I'd write the jerk here I think you really had two ways to go about this straight up refuse because you know it would ruin that pan or ruin it and dig your heels into the dirt saying it's their fault you just did it as they asked not ignoring the obvious though there's some much more serious things than just a pan to work through here our next story is am I the jerk for asking a girl I'm seeing about her period a girl I'm seeing slept over the other night and when she was here stuff got a little sexual she ended up saying that she was on her period no big deal I gave her a back rub and we watched movies the rest of the night the next morning she was getting ready to go home and I went to the bathroom and my garbage was empty and I didn't see her get up a single time to change her pad or tampon so I questioned her about it and told her if I made her uncomfortable when I was making advances she could have just said so and didn't need to lie about being on her period She immediately got defensive and said she has no reason to lie I told her I saw nothing that indicated she changed her tampon or pad that night and if she left a tampon her pad and all night in fear of leaving it in my garbage that I didn't care about that and that I have sisters and understood the dangers of using the same one all night she said she was aware and didn't need me to mansplain periods to her and she called me weird and left she's blocked me on everything and this feels very over dramatic I was just looking out for her am I the jerk I mean to say what it is op straight up started with accusing her of not being on her period and lying about it which is kind of a crappy thing to do to somebody and then op shifts when they get an obvious negative reaction to that and then says well you don't have to hide it from me I know all about that stuff in a situation like that I feel like it's impossible to want to open up about something that is a sensitive topic for a lot of people whether or not she she was lying about it op did kind of mansplain periods and how it's bad to leave stuff in overnight I feel like most people in that situation are just going to politely find a way to leave our next story is am I the jerk for excluding A co-worker when I was giving a lift to others I have a weekend job at a warehouse where most people can't afford cars they mainly rely on public transit which isn't reliable when most of us ends our shift most of them used to walk five miles to the train station or stay at work for a few more hours unpaid the train station is literally on the way to my second job and house so I offer them rides I drive an F-150 so the truck seats five people including myself three to five people including myself usually clock out at two in the morning so I drive everyone on my shift to the train station I don't mind my truck can fit them all and it's fun to drive with others but there's this one woman I don't care for that much she has a reputation for being lazy while everyone would be working King she's usually in the office or outside speaking with a supervisor who's into her I think she also never thanked me or even says please it's like she's entitled to a free ride so all of us clock out at 2AM I said out loud the names of the people and said come with me I'll drop you guys off at the station as we're walking outside she comes up to me and says can you drop me off I'll be ready in a few minutes I have to change my shoes I said sorry but from now on I don't want to give you rides anymore you should ask for a shift change she got a visibly upset and talked about how dangerous the streets are and how I'm Petty for not giving her a ride I changed my tone and said enough it's my truck you can find your own way home I'm not the city bus caused a bit of a scene but my co-workers agreed with me it's my truck I can choose who to let in I could understand being upset enough that this person being a slack off at work or whatever but that doesn't justify calling out loud like you're some Factory Foreman only these people are allowed bonuses it just wasn't called for to call them out like that in front of everybody and to be fair personally I think it's still kind of crappy even if you don't like her because of her productivity at work to make them walk five miles at 2 am in the dark our next story is am I the jerk for embarrassing my cousin in front of everyone at my wedding I 28 year old male and my wife 29 year old female got married in may we had the wedding at this beautiful hotel we had about 150 people attending I have one friend 29 year old male who has a service dog and is in a wheelchair he was in an accident a few years ago and is paralyzed from the waist his dog is always well behaved and nobody made a fuss my cousin 32 year old female has a great dane that is untrained and nobody in the family likes the dog I made it clear to her many times that the dog was not welcome to the wedding well the day of the wedding she shows up late with her dog on a leash my father and I were Furious us and told her to leave with the dog she refused and then let the dog off the leash she promised he would be on his best behavior he started jumping on people tried to play with my best friend's service dog and overall was upsetting everyone there my cousin's defense was that he's a therapy dog and she can't leave without him she then pointed out that my friend brought a dog to the wedding so it wasn't a big deal I started yelling at her that there was a huge difference between a well-trained service dog and her dog everyone was staring at us at this point and she grabbed her dog and left crying my aunt approached me after that wedding that I didn't have to embarrass my cousin like that and she was struggling with mental health I explained that I told her many times before the wedding that the dog was not welcome my cousin's now trying to paint me as the bad guy she sent me multiple messages demanding an apology am I the jerk for embarrassing my cousin in front of everyone at my wedding if you were well aware that this dog is not a properly trained service animal and it's mostly a for show thing you know somebody's saying I have to take my service animal everywhere with me but it's not actually true then yeah I don't think you're the jerk for saying don't bring this dog I think it would have been more than fair for Opie to say don't bring the dog if you want to bring the dog literally do not come that would have been totally fair and how hope he acted was totally fair especially considering they're a Great Dane too on top of all that our next story is am I the jerk for ordering from the kids menu I female23 can't eat much I see people eat a whole pizza by themselves hold dinner plates all by themselves their burger and sides all by themselves I can't I eat multiple meals a day not just three I'll take smaller portions and maybe eat four to five times a day I went to a new restaurant not fancy with my boyfriend and wanted something that they served in the regular adult menu but they also had a smaller kids portion it was cheaper too you and there was no age limit listed on the menu so I went ahead and ordered that when the server came she told me that it wasn't fair for me to order from the kids menu because I'm clearly not a kid and the price is cheaper therefore their 20 tip would be less I asked her to show me where the age limit was listed and she couldn't because there was none if there was I would have skipped out on it and ordered the regular size she clearly just wanted a bigger tip so we left zero dollars just because of her attitude towards me am I the jerk yeah I'm sorry I don't care if this affects what anybody thinks of me but if you're coming to me complaining that somebody at my table ordered a kids menu because they legitimately cannot eat a full adult-sized meal and you as the waiter or waitress without even knowing that start complaining because you're not going to get a bigger tip I'm definitely leaving nothing am I wrong for that is Opie wrong because they left nothing for the server after that our next story is am I the jerk for taking my daughter's paycheck for the whole summer my daughter 16 caused a huge amount of damage to the family car around may it was 100 her fault since she was texting while driving and went off the curb she was fine but the wheels and axles got messed up badly it would cost about 3 000 to get it fixed luckily our insurance covered that even though our rates did go up so the car got fixed up my wife and I decided that she needed to pay it back as a punishment so we had her get a job fast food and have been collecting her money after every pay period this got back to my sister and she blew up on me about stealing from our kid and called me a jerk I need an outside opinion the money we're taking goes into her College account her paychecks are pocket change to what me and my wife bring in we don't need it we're doing it as a lesson and that's it considering you're not actually just keeping it for yourself and it's all going to a college fund it's not too bad but honestly I would like to see maybe a little portion of it still stick with the water just if anything to show that you can work for some money I mean at the end of the day I think she totally does have to pay something back for what she's done and it does help her kind of learn some ramifications for what a horrendous mistake she made she is still working a fast food job she probably does deserve some kind of income from it even if it's pocket change from her pocket change this next story is am I the jerk for outing my best friend of 10 plus years for a lie I female 27 have been best friends with this person for 10 plus years recently I found out that she's been lying to me for two years about being pregnant and having a baby this friend would tell me for the last year and a half how her daughter's father has kept her from her child of course as a good friend I wanted to help her I agreed recently to take her to go get her child from him I drove two hours to pick her up the night before and then took her the next day to get her child I drove her three hours from where I lived we'd arrived at 2 46 PM when we got there she said she needed a minute to herself and wanted to go walk around so I sat in my car by myself while she did that around 3 30 PM I texted her and asked what time he would be there and she told me he got off at 4 30 p.m I agreed to wait after waiting for about an hour I had texted her again and asked what time he would be there she told me 6 p.m at 601 PM she texted me and said he would be there at 6 45 PM I'd eventually texted her at 6 40 pm and told her if he wasn't there at 7 pm I would be leaving at 7 01 PM she texts me and says that he's going to take her to her daughter which I thought was a little strange I tried to call her and she didn't answer so I texted her and let her know I would be leaving regardless I waited until 7 20 pm to leave and she never said anything to me at all she didn't text me until 11 pm well before I had received a text from her her I ended up reaching out to her mom to see if she had spoken to her this is where it got interesting her mom had informed me that she's never had a child well I was convinced that I didn't know what was true so I decided my only point of contact between me and her daughter's father was his ex-girlfriend so I messaged the ex on Instagram this axis helped me out so much my best friend was extremely ticked that I reached out to her mom and the ex-girlfriend my best friend finally decided that she was going to come clean and tell the truth that there has never been a baby I even tried to confront her about it after her mom had told me there was no baby and she refused to answer the question I was so ticked and upset also let me add in that she told me I'm a bad friend because I left her four hours away from her house and in a strange town but am I the jerk for doing my own investigating edit here's the timeline of our friendship let me clear a couple of things up we started being friend in 2012 she moved two hours away in 2020 in 2020 I got pregnant with my son I've been a full-time single mom I stayed in contact with her through FaceTime and I've only seen her in person three times from the time she moved to current during her pregnancy I didn't see her because she used covid as an excuse which I respected because I had a coveted baby well in May of 2021 she sends me a picture and says she's had her baby she tells me on FaceTime one day that she let her daughter's father take the baby because she was depressed well when she reached out to me on Thursday she said he was trying to take her daughter from her for good and get her rights taken away so I agreed on Friday to take her to get her daughter and that's when this crap show happened I hope this helps a little more also I'll add that maybe I was blinded by things because she told me things I could relate to the other part is where she didn't want to post her because she didn't want the world to see her daughter to clarify the picture of the baby was was her cousin's baby I don't know anyone on her dad's side also definitely not the jerk and the thing I'm the most confused about is what was actually going on this whole time did op just take her to her hookup like was she just having like a good old night out and hoping op would wait around as like their retained cab driver I don't know about op but I would be so torn up and twisted over this whole thing that like I would begin retracing the last 10 years of our friendship and trying to figure out what was true and what was a lie if they were willing to put this lie up for 10 years what else total BS falsehood stuff is gone on I don't even know if it's worth trying to talk to the mom or the ex anymore just cut them all off and leave that whole thing behind in my opinion but with that being said that's all the time we have for today now if you want to hear another absolutely crazy am I the jerk here story check out that video on the left or if you missed my latest video check out that video on the right that said I'll see you all next time with some more stories

give me a good story on rAITAISTOLEALLOFMYDAUGHTERSMONEYRedditStoriesorig

new update aita if I say no to allowing my husband's daughter to come live with us full-time original post April 10th 2024 I have been married to my husband for 6 years we have two kids together 8m and 4m our youngest is special needs my husband also has a daughter 12 from his previous relationship my husband's ex has had primary custody my husband gets SD on weekends and alternating holidays SLB birthdays this past weekend my SD asked my husband if she can come live with him full-time her mom recently moved in with her fiance and his kids and there has been some friction with that from what I understand nothing nefarious just new house new rules having to share a bedroom Etc my husband didn't give her an answer either way he said he would look into it when he and I were discussing it I had the following objections SD and our kids do not get along it is something we have worked on for years in and out of therapy and it just ain't happening SD resents mine for existing and is cruel towards my

give me a good story on orig

aita for refusing to turn my home office into a room for my oldest daughter I am a father to three kids 9M 11f and 15f our family is moving into a four-bedroom house in the upcoming week since my job requires me to work from home two days a week I'm planning to turn one room into an shared home officejim this leaves a room for my wife and I one for my son and one for the girls to share the issue is that my oldest daughter 15f is refusing to share a room with her sister she is demanding her own room and argues that a teenager deserves privacy and that it's not fair her brother who is the youngest gets his own room while as the oldest she does I understand her frustrations but it's inappropriate for siblings of the opposite gender to share a room and if she gets her own room then that leaves me without a home off when I explained to her that there is nothing we can do and that she will have to accept this living arrangement she accused me of favoritism and misogyny which is not true and is refusing to speak to me my wife is on her side and says she is too old to be sharing a room with a tween my daughters have always shared a room so my oldest will adjust very quickly and it is important for me to have a dedicated work space for my job aita

give me a good story on AITAforrefusingtoturnmyhomeofficeintoaroomformyoldestdaughteraita

people who got fired for the stupidest reason what happened I started working in a place a month or so ago and at first it all seemed cool it was an outside bar and my job was primarily at the Pizza Station stretching and shaping the dough topping slicing and garnishing as well as taking the pizzas to the customers most of the time on top of that I did seem to lend my time to the other stations like the bar and floor whenever I could as they were at times very unstaffed that and the incompetent management made it unbearable the event that led to me getting the sack well one day I accidentally read the wrong number on a ticket indicating the table number my bad not something that happens often it didn't help the table I took the pizzas to by mistake accepted them even though they didn't order any pizzas between the three of them it was only when I took a third and final Pizza that they questioned whether the third pizza was there as well already tucking into the first two I thought nothing of it and carried on 30 minutes pass and the table that was meant to get the pizzas Flags it up and re realize the situation immediately he bang out the missing pizzas in minutes I personally go and apologize to the table and the table that accepted the pizza agreed to pay for them at this point I didn't see any further problems everybody had a happy ending I misread the ticket I knew what I had done and to be honest I felt pretty stupid for it what didn't need to happen is that the supervisor is a middle-aged woman trying desperately to grasp onto relevance by budding in conversations and trying to W up everything you say but also being super insecure about her Authority so stamping her feet to enforce it when it simply isn't necessary to come over and make a scene she runs over after everything is sorted and Rambles on listen calm down read yes super loud super condescending in front of a full Garden of customers I didn't know what to say at first so I sort of just did the thing where you kind of just laugh to fill the silence and said okay but she didn't think I was taking it seriously enough bearing in mind at this point I'd estimated delivering almost a thousand individual pizzas to their correct tables and not made a single mistake to me it very much seemed like this woman was making stupid mistakes every day she comes back moments later slightly more frustrated and is still talking to me like a child I respond calmly and say that I'd prefer if she didn't talk to me like she just did in front of the customer she storms off again at this point I'm cooking a pizza and she's getting extremely aggressive showing teeth very animated turned to be intimidating I stick to what I said disagreeing with her notion that she's my boss and can pull me up for something if necessary but my point was that it wasn't I tried to argue this but before long I realized my attention has been diverted from the pizza oven for too long and the pizza I was cooking has started to catch fire rendering it useless I'm visibly annoyed at this because it's a waste of product in my time again she storms off now before long she's back at the absolute peak of anger making an absolute scene for the sake of her ego I simply say I think she should have this chat after service don't you looking at her dead in the eyes knowing that I would be quitting or fired before I got the chance she had such an emotional reaction that she had to go and sit in the dark room for 10 minutes leaving the floor so only one person was seated in taking out drinks they sent me home and asked me to come in for an interview about it the next day I never returned story two I had a manager write me up for not attending a meeting that she scheduled on a Sunday night because I was out of town I'd ran my request in the calendar she used for time off and she approved it in writing in the calendar I got back from my mini vacation to find they' implemented a few new practices that I wasn't aware of called another store to see if someone could explain one to me and got a snotty if you hadn't skipped the meeting last Sunday you'd know followed by a hang up in my ear I went to the office looked through a few papers on the desk to see if any instructions were there and found those along with a write up for an unexcused absence for the meeting I immediately took a picture of that took a picture of the calendar still hanging on the wall that showed my request along with the approval and ated when the manager showed up along with the district manager I was called into the back room the office was too small for three people and read the riot act for skipping the meeting I was presented with a write up which I refused to sign when the district manager asked why I wasn't going to sign it I showed her the photo of the calendar that had the approval written on it the manager went and got the calendar which now had convenient wide out marks on it and said she'd revoked my permission two weeks earlier when the meeting had been scheduled I then showed the district manager the timestamp for the photo 2 hours earlier I was sent back to the sales floor while the manager and district manager spoke a short time later I was called back in when I received the crappiest apologies I'd ever heard a few months later the manager left the HR file drawer open and since there were no cameras in the office I looked at my file the writeup was in there along with the worst forgery of my signature ever I of course took a picture of it and when I left the company for good a few months later on 4 hours notice I included that picture with the email I sent to every major office in the company detailing all the cruelty and misbehavior of the store manager and district manager that company was dissolved by the parent company a couple of years later and and while I don't know what the district manager is doing I know the manager is working for a card company as an assistant manager at a much lower salary Story three I got fired for taking time off when my first son was born yes for the birth of my son I took a job at this place after my last place notified us the day before Christmas that we weren't coming back after Christmas yes o my wife was pregnant when I took this new job I notified them during the interview that I would need time off four months down the road for the birth of my son I reminded them at least twice a month no problem no problem they said two months in they gave me a nice raise after seeing me consistently pull 140% productivity over their usually highest productive staff with no safety violations 3 months in they start laying the night shift off despite being in the middle of a large building expansion I started working 12-hour shifts which often included 16 to 20 hour shifts to cover the staff they let go of I kept reminding them I would need time off no problem no problem they said the time was near I reminded them yet again a few weeks prior they said if I took the time off I would be let go I told them that should have thought of that before laying everyone else off my son was born I took one day off for the birth one single day I called in several hours before my shift the day I returned I was ready to work the manager sat me down he told me his boss said he had to let me go because I to fight orders not to call in you're lost I said he tried to apologize I told him not to apologize because I knew he didn't mean it I wasn't going to let him soothe his guilt either didn't communicate to his boss or he didn't care to defend my position the Silver Lining I got to collect un employment for 6 months while I spent time with with my firstborn son I also made sure to thank the company on numerous occasions for it they tried to deny unemployment too I wanted the appeal because they had a bad track record of automatically denying unemployment requests and losing their appeals story four I worked for one week at a locally owned coffee shop as a teen during my interview it was obvious that the owners the manager interviewing me and the staff were very religious I didn't grow up in a religious household but it didn't bother me at all to be around devout Christians I was a very pppy good girl type so people assumed I was a Conservative Christian anyway anyway I was prepping some stuff in the back on a busy weekend and a couple co-workers were talking about mission trips I didn't have everything to add so I didn't join in the conversation right away one of them turned to me and asked me if I ever went on a mission trip and I responded that I never went on one but they seemed pretty interesting they told me that it's easy just go to my church and see what programs they offer I responded that unfortunately I don't have a church I've never been to church before they were like oh okay then no worries I went back to their conversation the manager overheard the conversation and called me into her office she fired me on the spot saying I didn't fit in I didn't give any further explanation or examples of what I did wrong I was devastated because I had no idea what she was talking about I knew she was a bit of a nut though in my week of being there she'd say stuff like oh you're planning on going to a liberal arts college I tried that once but I couldn't stand the professors that forc their views of evolution onto their students did you know Darwin retracted his theory in his deathbed that's how I know it's false but she's the manager so all I did was smile and Nod to those thinking you should have sued her reported them yeah I was 17 and didn't even know that type of discrimination was illegal Story five I was in college and waitressing at a restaurant that was open all night the manager refused to make the schedule so that those of us in college would only work the all nighter on days we didn't have class the next morning it didn't give a damn if you had class or not he would still give you an all nighter on one such schedule he gave me two all nighters in a row on the days I had 8: a.m. classes my shift was to 6 so I would get home just in time to shower and go to class so I worked to 6:00 went to class from 8:00 to 9:00 then 11: to1 and then went home to study eat and try to catch a nap that night back for another 11: to 6 shift home to shower and go to class at 8 I had a break in class from 8:00 to 1: to eat and study then we had a 3-hour lab from 1:00 to 4:00 I went home studied ate and fell asleep at about 6:30 or 7 I didn't wake up until because I'd slept through my alarm I called and said I was on my way and I was sorry I was late but I'd not slept more than 6 to 7 hours in the last 48 hours and I'd overslept the manager fired me over the phone for using lack of sleep as a reason to miss a shift and he was tired of listening to us College kidss whine about all nighter I had never complained once about my overnight shifts and had never been late not once in my six months of working there it started in May and was fired right near Christmas it turned out he found an excuse to fire every single college kid that work there and that left him with only four waitresses and a scramble to find new ones however a huge portion of the workforce was made up of college kids and word had gone around so that he had to settle for really old ladies who refused to work overnight and only four waitresses that would it sucked to be him hey there see seems like we're already halfway through if you've been enjoying these outrageous stories about the workplace like And subscribe for more related content story six I worked at Best Buy in the mid90s when I was 16 I worked selling computers and I was pretty good at it we also sold things like memory and hard drives that were behind lock and key part of our job was to take the tagged inventory from the trucks and put it on the shelves this included said memory so I closed one night put away all the new inventory lock it up and hand the keys to the manager they do their checks in our department and we leave for the night the next day scheduled I go in and the loss prevention manager says he has me on video stealing memory I laughed and said show me the video well I'm somewhat tall have red hair and I'm white the video he shows me is an older very short white guy with a shaved head he told me that it was me and that I was fired and he only showed me the video once and immediately turned off the monitor being 16 it didn't know any better I said some things on my way out and I left it turns out the Lost prevention guy and his son were stealing for years to the tune of over $250,000 and the guy in the video he showed me was his son any time problems popped up with missing inventory they just fired a random person to keep the attention away from themselves when the police arrested them their house was loaded with televisions computers and everything from the store story seven I worked at this hotel doing afternoon and evening shifts and two overnight shifts a week they listed the following reasons for letting me go I claimed I was leaving property without clocking out because I wasn't on camera the entire time the date they said specifically was an evening that I spent cleaning up the meeting space because it was slow I was also not the only front desk person on shift when working overnight I would sit in a chair to do the audit from Midnight to 3:00 a.m. sitting on a chair at the front desk was not allowed even at midnight or early in the morning also when working overnight I had to fold linen so I could listen to the radio or music through a Bluetooth headset while folding and cleaning up the back that was also not allowed even at midnight or early in the morning they honestly probably just didn't like me but after they fired me I went and got a new job at the hotel next door started making a lot more money and was able to do all the things I was let go of story8 in my first ever proper job I was a Christmas Tempa goes I got fired for not being able to hit the completely ridiculous sales targets they set for me with zero training 20% of the sales I made had to be from the insurance we offered in appliances the fact that I had zero training in their stupidly complicated tail system tough crab if he only sold toys cables and batteries that day tough crap the fact that the insurance we offered was worthless crap especially when compared to the warranty larger items came with plus the fact most people of Home Insurance tough crap the manager was a raging witch and would pull me into her office every couple of days to tell me how much of a pathetic disappointment I was after about 2 months of my four-month contract she fired me claiming I was one of the biggest letdowns she'd made in hiring I later found out that number one regular permanent staff were not scolded or punished for not hitting the crazy high Target but celebrated if they did number two the store was about to close down the manager had been deliberately picking on me in the hopes I would quit and when it didn't quit she fired me because if she hadn't she would have been obliged to find me a new position in another store and she couldn't be bothered because I was a teenage temp basically she was just a lazy Nast woman who made it my problem that's the worst job I've ever had to this day and it knocked my confidence for a while everything does when you're a teen but I still thank that ugly bag of bones every day for a very important life lesson 99% of companies don't care about staff and 99% of managers will happily mess you up to make their life a little easier story nine I worked for a professional moving company I can't slander or name drop for another year as per my signed contract and fortunately I got a concussion on the job through no fault of my own the person who loaded the truck booby trapped it accidentally essentially they loaded the truck up as we were unloading it no one knew what was behind these towers mattresses hutches Etc as we moved a mattress its metal bed frame slats fell and hit me in the head giving me a concussion and Whiplash none of my co-workers were the most wonderful part of that job thought it was funny the managers however did I was ridiculed for getting a concussion the subsequent constant sickness from it and the constant pain in my neck they joked about me behind my back to my co-workers who subsequently told me I said things when I had gone the concussion initially that were stupid and incoherent which I did not I was going to a chiropractor to help alleviate some of the tension in my neck appointments they knew about and I was told that because I was leaving work 15 minutes early to make it to an appointment like it had been going to for weeks I was receiving an unexcused absence from work so the next day I was called seven times wondering where I was for my shift I said Oh I thought you might have been confused about what an unexcused absence is so I'm showing you right now they did not like that Ma karma is a witch because the manager who made fun of me had a stroke and the boss of the company who issued me the unexcused absence got a pretty nasty flu along with his wife I still have neck problems to this day story 10 this happened 3 weeks ago I was a project manager for residential home builder new to the area the company was from a different state I'm the first pm to build the first houses for the division naturally they make a lot of changes from the original plan set it's pretty common that either the plans don't shake out in the field as they do on paper or that the design team wants to change things anyway it happens but all those changes impact the schedule rework or replace things material changes with a back order Etc my direct boss has been giving me positive feedback for the last year I managed more projects in square footage than the other two PMS combined yeah we all get paid nearly the same but in my annual performance review the EVP of Ops gives me my review instead of that of my direct boss which he didn't do for the other 2 PMs and tells me that I'm slower than the other 2 PMS because I went first and I'm the one to discover the issues with the houses then I tell the other 2 PMS how to avoid those issues and setbacks that now I'm under the gun many of the reasons lists are literally made up not real or so immaterial that it question his competence I tell him I'm shocked and have no idea what he's talking about I can prove it to him with emails and text messages he disagrees 3 weeks later I show up to the side and I'm working and he has my new boss fire me pretty much everyone is shocked and confused as to what happened I just got another offer a couple of days ago from a better company with the same pay working on better projects story 11 during my senior year of high school I was working at McDonald's it was right after Christmas and we were really busy I'd been there for 4 hours had two to go and was supposed to get a 30-minute break since we'd slowed down asked if I could have a break the shift manager said no one was getting breaks I said thanks a lot and she told the assistant manager that I told her to get off he fired me on the spot wouldn't even let me give my side of the story a week later I was working a Jack In The Box I was a shift manager for 6 months did that through a couple years of college dropped out never wanted to go anyway moved up to a system manager and then a couple years later a general manager I remember how crappy I was treated at McDonald's and made sure I treated my employees well had the third lowest turnover rate in a 95 restaurant region had the second highest average hourly pay and had a number two profit Improvement take care of your people and they'll do the same for you thanks for joining me on these unbelievable tales about crappy management if you'd like to dive into the flip side watch what's the fastest way you've seen someone get fired Story 3 is just bizarre see you there

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AIT for accidentally dead naming my sister after she slammed the door on my 5-year-old son I M31 and my husband m30 recently adopted our son M5 7 months ago my sister f19 stays with us because of our parents lack of support towards her transition and because I live closest to her University out of all our siblings my sister Kora fake name is a trans woman and recently come out to us all two months ago and has been living with me since my son jack has been struggling to remember all our siblings and my husband's family memb name so we've been showing him family videos and pictures of us from holidays and such when we were younger and since Kora lives with us Jack must have noticed the name we used to call Kora before she transitioned and learned to say it two days ago Kora came back for the weekend and Jack called her by her dead name Kora was extremely upset and walked away from him jack followed after her to her room and was about to enter when she slammed the door on him and it caught his finger I was in my study doing my work when I heard him scream I was up and out looking for him when I saw Kora holding his hands and trying to console him he was bleeding in his NE

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aita for telling my wife she's a childish horrible human being for not wanting my family to come over to our home after my mother's celebration of life my wife 37f and I am 39m built a new home and moved into a really nice neighborhood about 7 months ago she's a stay-at-home mom we have three kids she's white and I'm Mexican both were born in Dallas Texas we both are from the same suburb and we met After High School she loved my family and my family loved her when we first got together she was 17 and I was 19 her mom and dad kicked her out because they didn't want her to date another person of A different race it's all good now her parents admitted they were wrong and I love her parents and they love me and are children at that time I was living at my parents still had my own job car and paid rent my parents heard of her getting kicked out and they offered for her to move in with us rentree my mother and father loved her and took her in as one of their own I have three sisters who were all married at the time and we were always hanging out with my family at one of my sister's houses or my parents house we were always together and everyone got along as time went by I started to make more money and we were able to buy our first house together and finally moved out after living with my parents for almost 4 years we had our first child a son a year later which is when her parents finally accepted me and then our twin daughters 5 years after that right

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when has a parent come crawling back for help after destroying your life I lived with my single mother since I was 14. my parents divorced after years of fights and arguments that I soon became accustomed to it got to the point that I thought all families were like this after the divorce my father moved away to France and from what I heard started a new life and family over there I on the other hand stayed with my mother who remarried again this time to a rich and successful businessman with two grown-up children twins who were two years older than me we moved to their house which was this large and expensive looking mansion with a lot of rooms with tons of artifacts for Decor that only rich people have in their house you would think my life would become better now that I'm living in wealth but it was the exact opposite in every day I wish that I had gone with my Dad instead my mother was negligent to the point that sometimes we wouldn't see for days and she would probably forget that she had a daughter all she cared about was going to Elite events with her husband wearing expensive clothes and just swimming in money it was only about the money meanwhile I was approaching my sophomore years in high school as this awkward and lonely girl with no real friends who got bullied constantly and was suffering from depression and anorexia nervosa and it was so obvious but somehow no one not even my mother saw this life with my step siblings wasn't good either my stepsister Jane took pleasure in humiliating me and constant reminding me that I'm not of their class and my mother is just another gold digging she would trip me push me shove me and when I tried to complain my mother would take her side and shush me what are you trying to do you want to end this good life for us that's what she always said when she's the one with the good life my stepbrother Jake didn't really do much to me he mostly ignored me like I didn't exist which I was grateful for but none of them cared the only person who cared that I regret ever listening to was my stepfather's brother I'll call him Isaac Isaac was this always smiling typical Playboy who was oddly interested in me for some reason he would come around often try to sit with me talk to me and it was really uncomfortable he promised that he cared about my well-being and he was going to talk to my mother about my eating disorder and what I was going through it was that promise that kept me close to him because I really needed help when my mother was ignoring me she believed that as long as I got allowances she gave me every month I would be okay I was in the 12th grade when my mother and her husband celebrated their five-year anniversary at the house by that time Jane and Jake were at Cambridge already and they weren't home since it was in the middle of the semester this meant I was the only kid in that house it was that day that Isaac lured me to a guest room on the pretense of wanting to talk to me about how I was doing and then he has saved me I honestly don't remember what happened it was mostly several times he did it to me and left me there as I slipped into unconsciousness from the shock when I woke up I was in my room and my mother was sitting next to me looking at me with a slightly worried expression that I've never seen from her before she knew I know she knew what happened because she changed my clothes and asked if I was okay that moment I cried and threw myself in her arms and told her everything she patted my head and told me it would be fine then reached behind her and brought out a new dress and told me to hurry up and wear it so we could go outside for a family photo my stepfather was waiting I couldn't believe what she said to me or how she was acting I had just got an essayed and she was more worried about keeping faith than my health I tried to struggle but I was too weak she made me wear the dress and go downstairs to take the pictures with them throughout the whole ordeal I was crying and my mom was constantly telling me to smile clean the tears and look normal the aching between my legs made them wobble as I tried to stand everything hurt and I felt like I was going to fall soon my mother was there even standing with Isaac and faking Smiles around there were a lot of people and it was like a huge event soon it was time for me to give a speech for my parents and immediately as I stepped on that stage my eyes caught Isaac smiling once and I just let go I screamed about what happened to me about me being S8 and about my mother not even caring enough I was going to go all out to everyone there if I had not been pulled away by the help and then by my mother and dragged into the house immediately we were out of sight she slapped me right across the face she yelled that I didn't know what I had done she kept talking about what people would say the things she kept saying the most was about her husband and how she didn't want him to get upset I honestly could not believe my mother was acting this way as she scolded me my stepfather walked in angrily and grabbed me by the front of my dress when I tell you that this man beat me he beat me up in front of my mother and she just looked away he punched and slapped and after I had bruises all over me he told me to pack my bags and get out he said I was a lying and manipulative [ __ ] who was never content with a good life and was looking for a way to bring him down by using his innocent brother that evening after everyone left I was kicked out I was homeless and went from shelter to shelter just to be able to rest my head and get something to eat I barely managed to graduate from high school but I did my mother had my phone number but she never called not even once after weeks I got a job at a fast food joint and managed to save enough for registration fees to apply to colleges my co-workers and boss were kind to me and offered a little support and I was allowed to sleep in the back room of the fast food joint after I almost got assaulted again at the shelter and made it out with a black eye I studied hard and took extra jobs just to survive and luckily for me I got accepted into the University of Chicago on a full scholarship Grant and financial aid I took all I had and bought a flight ticket to get there it was hard but I managed when I got there I took on campus jobs to be able to keep myself and was managing quite well I tried to forget about my past my mother and about everything I had gone through and focused on building myself I went to the free therapy classes and it was good for me I even began the Journey of tackling my eating disorder little by little it was during my last semester as a sophomore that I ran into Jake it was a surprise especially for him he did not expect to see me there and invited me for coffee strange but I agreed it had been three years since and he heard what had happened when he went home last and he was very sorry that I went through that I couldn't believe that he wasn't on his father's side I guess Jake wasn't that bad of a person anyway Jake told me a lot of things he told me how his sister got into an accident during the past year and had been confined to a hospital ever since in a wheelchair he said his father's business is depleting and he had gotten divorced from my mother he also told me that he had left that family for good after graduating and was starting his life here in Chicago the only person he would keep contact with is his sister I couldn't believe it honestly all this happening Jake apologized a lot for everything and believe me I held no grudge against him he took my phone number and we agreed to have lunch in a few days when the time came we had lunch but we were not alone Jake had brought his friend Thomas a year older than me along Thomas was a practicing psychologist and Jake had asked him to help me with free therapy sessions so I can tackle my disorder and Trauma once and for all in this way I began to see Jake as a brother we had both matured and I was grateful for his help I had also become really close to Thomas and soon enough we began dating Jane my stepsister passed away sadly after a few months of struggling I couldn't attend the funeral because I didn't want to see anyone from that family including my mother and Jake understood I worked hard at school and graduated with a degree in finance it was then that Thomas proposed to me and I accepted we got married soon after and Jake was the best man his own fiancee a very lovely girl was my bridesmaid as a wedding present Thomas did the unimaginable he managed to track down my father and flew him in from France for the reception I couldn't believe it I was in tears that day and I helped him harder than I ever could when I saw him turns out he had been trying to reach me all these years but my mother did not allow it I got to meet his family and his lovely wife I was happy in content after so many years and was glad for all the good people in my life Thomas and I bought a house close to Jake and he and his fiancee helped set up it only took a few days and soon it was done one of those days Thomas and Jake went to town and I was left alone at home with Jake's fiancee I was a few months pregnant at this time and she insisted on helping around the house we were both in the kitchen when the doorbell rang and I went to go check it right before me looking extremely disheveled was my mother I was shocked and could not talk for a few minutes I couldn't believe this she tried to hug me but I moved away from her the anger of all the years returned to me as I stared at her she sobbed at my doorstep and begged me to forgive her telling me how her husband divorced her and she got kicked out with nothing and she's been struggling since and she was homeless and had nowhere to go until she heard I was doing well and looked for me not once did this woman try to apologize for everything she did to me and what happened to me she was as selfish as usual and only came because she needed something when she asked to stay at my house I laughed hard she was Shameless she was selfish I told her everything I had in my mind that I'm glad Karma has caught up with her and her husband and soon enough Isaac I told her she was not part of my life that only included my husband our unborn child my brother and a soon-to-be wife and my father she was just a stranger that I wanted to leave my property immediately can you believe she tried to turn it around and call me an ungrateful daughter when she refused to leave I called the police and watched them drag her away far away from me

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my abusive andc mother returned for my daughter this time and falsely claimed I abused her grandchild so I ruined her whole life for what it's worth there is a long history here Mom was abusive in fact her entire family is that way all super judgmental Hypocrites as well they like to point out everything that's wrong with you to draw attention away from what they see wrong in themselves the whole family is like this where they never accept any fault or blame and will therefore never take responsibility for anything mom was very abusive growing up and as a result all three of us myself my little brother and my big sister all battled with some form of mental Fallout I'm the only one that's been to a therapist and been properly diagnosed the other two are working their way up to it but they're very similar to me minus the issue I have with guilt I have been trying to heal and to create a healthier relationship with my mom she's trying but she slips up from time to time I built her website for free that was like pulling teeth and my FH designed her a beautiful email signature using mandrel we sent her a draft for approval 6 weeks ago that's 6 weeks of me going are there any changes you need done or are you happy with them and can we go ahead and add them to your email now or do you want anything to be changed there was literally no response this morning on a Sunday of all days I get a shtt email from her you guys were asked to do something as simple as getting me an email signature ignoring the fact that it's free but okay and it has been months and I have received nothing is this how you run your business I am so disappointed and I feel taken advantage of because I am family treat me like any customer and just do what I ask so I sent her an invoice for r950 like I would any customer as well as terms conditions and requirements I am so effing done with being nice all the time my big sister and I have been cleaning up her messes our whole lives my little brother has issues with anger because of her I gave her a fantastic website design for free that was worth tens of thousands and it's never good enough mind you the process in itself is a whole other post but I'll cover the gist of it here our usual turnaround time on even the most complex websites is about 4 6 weeks depending on the client sometimes they can't make up their minds sometimes there's bugs sometimes they change logos or content halfway through but this is the longest we've ever taken it was 6 weeks Max mom's website took an entire year it was a painful experience and a lot of us asked for the necessary things like content she was abusive through the whole process until I grew a spine and told her straight to f off and go pay someone because I'm not working for free and taking abuse for it I pushed the shty website we had managed to pull together I say shty because we had zero content and it was mainly filler text and stock images which is normal in the beginning stages as we use these as an example for the clients in order to get a proper sort of look at the layout and function of their website before we pretty it up and polish it off in this case we used stock images and filler text and made it look stunning once the website was live suddenly things started happening on her side which is what I expected and it's also why I pushed it live before it was ready otherwise it would have gone on for another year bearing in mind that the entire year we were asking her for content and sending her drafts for approval and we got no response but she'd send random abusive text days and weeks later asking for her website I started to believe she was genuinely crazy the website still isn't 100% but it's much better than it was so back to the email I respond with the invoice and she calls me to sht me out and I let her have it no more she has bullied me my entire life and I won't have it anymore I waited for her to stop screaming at me and I told her right you told me to treat you like any other client we charge money to every other client we also have requirements none of which you have follow you want an email signature we cannot give you a final draft without your approval of the first draft take your sht elsewhere because I'm not doing your work for free anymore while you insult and criticize while not following the proper channels you abusive piece of sht don't call me and I hung up now suddenly she's taking the sht out on my sister who was always her favorite and I'm trying so very hard to not feel guilty because I know I have an issue with guilt I can never tell if my reactions or emotions are appropriate because when I called out the abuse and told her it's not right that you beat me up so badly that I can't attend school for weeks I was told that I'm a drama queen so I always now try to scale back my emotions and reactions but this is enough I have had it I should add that my poor sister is living with mom mom took over my grandmother's business and ran it into the ground sis is trying to save it but it's a big thing to fix and Mom isn't making it easy not to mention the strain of having an ex-employee tried to have them murdered on top of it all I feel so horrible for my sister and I want to scream at my mom most days but I also understand that it's a long process and my mom is damaged too so I do try to be patient but sometimes enough is enough anyway sorry for the long post I just needed to rant update my mom I have no words this woman knows no bounds she was extremely abusive growing up my siblings and I as a result all suffer from some form of of emotional Fallout to this day I'm finally happy I have started to make my own family the way I want giving my daughter the happy childhood I wish I had in a healthy way of course she isn't spoiled fiance and I finally have enough to get our own home and plan to move in at the end of January 2019 this is important stay with me mom has pissed off my nana mom also lives off of my nana believe me I had loads to say about this Nana told Mom to grow up and get out naturally I swear this is important so my fiance and I decided to pool our income with my little brother it just gives us all a better chance of getting out of this country saves on rent Etc and my little brother is a cool dude I like him he's easy to live with mom sent me a text today found us all a house to move into my first reaction is WTF but I text back calmly what do you mean drama ensues guys she assumed that she could just move with us I finally polish up my spine and sent her this hi sorry it took me so long to respond and I appreciate the fact that you are trying to help that being said you didn't consult us or even ask us you simply made a decision and expected us to go along with it I don't appreciate that I say this with all the love in my heart and hope it doesn't hurt you at all because it's not my intention to hurt you but I do feel the need to set a very clear boundary here I love you but I can't live with you she then proceeds to try to Guilt Trip me by saying I don't know what I did to piss you off blah blah blah I tell her mom I'm not mad at you I just don't want to live with you I love you though quore drama I don't respond sorry she kicked me out multiple times in my teens as a result I was sawed multiple times and became addicted to drugs I cleaned up long before I had my daughter guys relax my sympathy levels are dwindling does that make me heartless tldr mom assumed wrong I'm not sorry but should I be update mom crossed a line there's now no going back I'm gutted this month has been Blissful in my new marriage but hell on my family side sorry in advance for my formatting I'm on mobile and also feeling pretty lost at this stage hubs and I had agreed to a roommate type situation at the beginning of this year with my brother who was cool at the time the problem is that my narcissistic mom got her hooks on his brain and then he suddenly didn't want to pay his way which basically drained us financially I finally put my foot down and said no more he moved out on Sunday the problem is that my family is now behaving in such a way that it feels like they view me as being wrong which I can deal with they tiptoed around the years of abuse I experienced and then acted surprised when I had to deal with the emotional Fallout from it they had me convinced I was overreacting for years when in actual fact according to my therapist I was not I know my mom is broken I know she is a narcissist I'm not always sure whether she's doing things to be malicious or if she genuinely doesn't see the wrong in them last week mom and I had a falling out concerning my brother and me putting my foot down and so I set a very clear boundary and it got ugly she then tried to play victim to back out of what she had said and done which resulted in me shouting because when I stated quite clearly that I needed space to calm down she continued to push and I had an anxiety attack I couldn't firmly draw up a boundary that she wasn't stomping on and out of frustration I shouted that I needed space and that she was basically terrible for even attempting to manipulate me into feeling guilty for standing my ground on my own mental well-being my sister and I were on the same page with regards to this but now she's backslid and it's affected me so badly I feel very alone today I was called into a meeting with my daughter's teacher apparently mom spoke to her yesterday even going so far as to show her a text I had sent to enforce a boundary saying that with the latest fight I do not see a healthy outcome and need some distance to refocus telling the teacher that I a scream at my child and be my child's anxiety is a reflection of abuse by me at home I was very straight with the teacher about my mother's nonsense and luckily for me she too was raised by a narcissist so she was very understanding and actually pointed out that she thinks my daughter's anxiety probably comes from the fact that there's a lot of change in her world we are currently in the process of moving and also that if you have an anxious parent it's more than likely the child will be anxious too so I at least don't have to prove that I'm not abusive what gets me is that she would pull this sht having watched me fight so hard for my little girl from the minute I found out I was pregnant she watched me end that abusive relationship and work my butt off to be the best mom I could be she knows my daughter is my everything she knows I love and celebrate that little girl's very existence I am so upset that my mother would take this angle get at me through my child I'm heartbroken broken because I genuinely was trying to have a healthy relationship with her and that she would stoop so low simply because I set a boundary I guess I knew she was capable of it but I always wanted to believe that she wasn't trying to derail me or push me down I am gutted I feel very much like I've lost my family I wish I could figure out why I love them even though they are so abusive I wish I didn't this hurts so badly I don't know how to unpack it I'm starting to feel guilty even though I've done nothing wrong I feel very alone update my mom lied and told my daughter's teacher that I was abusive hi guys you know the drill I'm on mobile for my previous posts check out my profile this is going to be a long one background moms have always been super toxic and abusive she's good at it too in my previous post she made some very dangerous allegations telling my daughter's tutor that I am abusive towards her which has resulted in her anxiety thankfully the tutor could smell the bull on mile away so nothing came of it except for a meeting to clarify the situation so that the tutor could make provisions on her side cool but she the mother has shot herself in the foot concerning being a part of my family this was all in retaliation to me setting a very reasonable boundary in place don't scream at me because your son can't be responsible let me calm down so I can think so after this meeting DH and I had a lengthy chat and went through all of your suggestions and advice from my previous post we agree that my mental health and happiness suffer when my mother gets involved and that little to no contact is probably best I confess that I don't feel strong it's almost like Stockholm syndrome where you feel guilty for your abusers but being with him has made me see clearly that I don't have to half kill myself to be worthy of love and family so anyway on to the story a few days ago my sister called me and said she missed me we haven't spent any time together since the fight with Mom and part because she is a huge flying monkey but also because momes with her she asked can she come for a cup of tea dearest H and I are strong in our communication so I ask him what he thinks first he says only if he can sit with me because I feel like he calms me and keeps me strong so I agree with the tea sister comes over and talks sht until tea is poured and then gets straight down to it why have we been so quiet Mom is starting to feel excluded I didn't answer for a bit I take my time to calmly form my sentences huge for me and I say well that's because she has been excluded picture shock and awe this is so unlike me so I can understand her face goes blank and loses its color and she goes why though now I know she's panicking because she doesn't know that I know she was present when my mom started that last very last batch of attempted [ __ ] in my life and did nothing to defend me as I had done her I can see her mind starting to race DH has his hand on my shoulder and I don't know I just felt strong so I calmly and without emotion tell her that I am very aware of what was said because the tutor quoted a text I had sent and I know she was there she starts stammering at how she asked my mom why she couldn't just say Dan and I are not talking and why she had to show the text and say all those things and I just kept calm smile and said I'm not fighting for people to love me anymore I think I've proven that I deserve love and whoever doesn't see it well it's their loss I guess she kind of sigh and says she is tired of Mom I tell her it's her de to deal with she tells me that my mother has been so upset and DH and I both smile and say it's her own doing she must deal with it my sister then tries a new tactic but you can't cut her off from her granddaughter because family so my loving wonderful husband squeezes my shoulder gently indicating that he wants to speak and shuts that sht right down by saying you people need to wake up now and realize that your mother is not the only grandparent we have other better options here who not only respects our boundaries as parents but also backs us up why would we keep allowing your mother to piss in our eyes and tell us it's raining sister stammers family and he just reinforces that idea by saying exactly family he then goes on to say I've been quiet these past few years but I've been observing and it's always the same Dan notices toxicity because she has a Keen Eye for potential train wrecks Dan points out toxicity to avoid said train wreck everyone agrees with Dan about the toxicity Dan Dan confronts toxicity like a healthy person the family reacts in a crazy way making Dan feel guilty for handling things the way they should be handled and rejecting her hurting her a train wreck occurs the family then reaches out to Dan who then accepts the Olive Branch because she was so starved of love from you crazy people growing up that she puts her needs and wants last rinse repeat your biggest mistake sister was failing to recognize this wonderful woman as your sister and not an opponent she's going places I've seen it and I know you've seen it owing to your boyfriend continually trying to buy into our business which would not have started or even survived this long if not for your sister who you all mocked for being clever but your mom has got her hands so far up your ARS you probably won't wake up from this until you are neck deep in her debts wondering why you drink to escape and wondering if you had just listened and loved your little sister how different life might have been instead you treat her like she's an annoyance I dislike the lot of you because of how I've personally seen you treat my wife I think it's disgusting and I am so glad she's waking up I love him so much she cries a bit saying sorry if I feel unloved and then she finishes her tea and leaves true as nuts this morning my mother texted me hi Dan can your daughter come visit tomorrow I'm having a lady knit her a jersey and we need measurements so I respond hi Mom no I don't think that's a good idea thanks though boom just like that short and sweet I don't have any explanations she she knows what she's done Q blow up but I just kind of let her blow up I don't respond and just leave the messages on read I felt so empowered keep in mind that text Warfare happened this morning sister came by today to drop something off from one of our mutual friends business related mom chose this moment to climb out of my sister's car and hand DD dear daughter a huge pack of sweets and a box of very sugary cereal so I take them from DD hand them back to my mother and again say no thanks I take DD by the hand I can see she's upset by this obviously she doesn't understand why her non isn't allowed and lead her inside the house tell her to stay and come back out and calmly continue my conversation with my sister the woman's face is blank it's like she was hit with a wet fish aha DD was obviously upset with me but I can deal with her not liking me 100% of the time I'm her mother not her friend and she doesn't always like what's good for her one day she'll understand anyway I'm almost certain I can expect more Shenanigans so name suggestions are now open I'm super proud of my shiny spine these just no subs have been a real Comfort to me these past few months thank you all so much I think I might start posting some old bits that I kept bottled up out of shame or hurt I don't know we'll see update you guys might know me as the girl whose mom tried to gain access to my little one by falsely accusing me of child abuse my dearest noted how much better I seem to be feeling after letting these things out after 27 years of them festering and growing so here I am again DH come up with the name no more na na because nmn is like a tongue and cheek version of amum and we're very centered around our humor I won't name him but he is in fact on Reddit once I feel a bit more comfortable I'll let him read this please excuse any formatting I'm currently having a lie in on one of the first Warm Sunday mornings of this African winter so I'm on mobile I'm defrosting and unpacking the toxicity in my family I was thinking back to last month when I awkwardly ran into my father after he didn't show up to my wedding which then led me to think about the previous conversation I had with him four years prior to this basically I asked him why did you hit my mother and how could you leave me with her I'll get to his answer in a minute but first I need to tell you about the day this happened it's carved clearly in my memory because it's my first solid childhood memory side note I have added some little translations in Brackets because I know some of you in America don't call things the same things we do at this stage I was about 3 years old and my little brother was still in nappy's diapers he was so cute and such an idiot he had this little walking ring that we called his rocket ship and he'd run as fast as he could in this thing and launch himself off the step from our Lounge living room to our outside Veranda patio hence the reason we called it his rocket ship this particular day my mother had asked me to close the door because he had knocked on his head and split it open the day before and that would not stop him from launching because he's a boy I tried but that was a very heavy door my granddad built that house and used 6-in thick glass on that door and aluminum frames I have no idea why my granddad was a cck ky character but it was too heavy for a tiny human to close alone I asked for help and got a backand to the face and a men's favorite way to discipline was hitting me through my face she screamed at me to just do it not at all like Sheil La though that has become a standing joke between DH and me so I tried and tried but I was Tiny and not at all strong enough to get it closed of course the boy seeing it open runs full out trying to launch himself again and I managed to push his walking ring and divert it but it caused him to head toward a wall and he hit the wall with quite a bit of speed but in my mind I had done the right thing I was told not to let him launch himself off the step and I hadn't let him he starts screaming more out of frustration that I took away his launch than anything he hadn't hit his head or anything mom comes storming in me up by the collar of my dress lifts me to face height and begins to slap me continuously through my face at this point my dad walks in from work and immediately lays down on her and says and aen stop she drops me and goes for him teeth bared spittle flying and screams at him for a long time while he responds in a calm voice I can never remember what he said just how he said it and he was always calm and she was always screaming shouting and seeing at some point they're pointing at me in their argument and she storms over to me grabs me by my arm above my elbow and Yanks me up saying something along the lines of I've tried with her but she just doesn't listen and he says something like that's because you scream at her and she gets scared and my arm starts to hurt by my shoulder and she's just yanking away so I start to cry he tells her to let me go and she screams I say stop Mommy you're scaring me and she hits me with a closed fist in my face later she would tell my nana that my dad had put that bruise there but I was little and gave that secret away immediately because I knew nothing about keeping secrets my dad then flew at her he grabbed her fist so she couldn't hit me again and I guess he just lost control and hit her she screamed there was a lot of chaos my sister was crouched in a corner and I went to see if she was okay she was crying with her hands over her ears suddenly there was silence my dad had pushed her off of him and walked to us girls to make sure that we were okay and a men jumped in front of him and made it seem like he was coming to hurt us and I can remember the look on his face it was hurtful so he said to me that he's going to leave the room and take a breath if I wanted to come with him and I did but when I went to go with him she again grabbed my arm and I braced for another hit instead she pleaded with me please go pack a bag for you and brother then she turned to her sister and said please get your kids into the car I'll pack for you and we went to my Nana and Papa's house mom's parents Nana asked me all sorts of questions and Mom started fighting with her apparently Nana had asked what did Mommy do and of course mom flew off the handle years later Nana explained to me that just with how my mom would scream kick and hit my dad they all knew it would be a matter of time before he hit back or left my dad took off and went to Angola I didn't see him for another 13 years by that time the damage was too severe and I was angry at him for leaving and staying away for so long without even a phone call my mother just added fuel to that fire I can imagine it must have been hard for him and I'd feel sympathy but he did that to three other sets of kids too he seems to be a bit of a deadbeat and a coward he could have taken me away and saved me but he was too cowardly to do anything I no longer hate my dad but I don't really feel anything for him I don't know him and every chance I have given him HEK been let down so I stopped trying I think my dad like many South African men in his generation was left very damaged by the war in Angola I've seen it firsthand and while that's no excuse for him to run away I get it I don't excuse domestic violence I believe that women are just as capable of abuse as men NN got into a few relationships after that and the ones that weren't completely inappropriate she abused just the same as she did my dad I'll tell the stories as they come to me once again huge thanks to this community for the ongoing love and support it really does help to get it off my chest and the anonymity helps too because I can't stand to be pied which is why I never told anyone my mother was abusive my dad left update hi guys it's me again the girl with a psychotic mom who tried to have my daughter taken from me by lying to the tutor and saying I'm abusing my little girl you guys know the drill on mobile sorry for the formatting Etc so to kick this one off I'll start by telling you all that South Africa is bloody dangerous the economy right now is so bad that unemployment among the youth sits at something ridiculous like 42% so naturally you see a rise in crime people are hungry and need to feed their families in the early hours of Thursday morning around 2:45 a.m. we had an intruder break into our Lounge living room while we were all sleeping in there to avoid the cold I had my little one right under the other window thank God the Intruder didn't choose this particular window because that brick would have landed on her little head thankfully DH was still awake in maintaining our servers when this person threw a brick through the other window it was not able to go through the window owing to computer screen stopping the brick but the glass did Smash loudly which gave us all a fright and alerted dhua who immediately got up and ran at the window to prevent the guy from entering our home I grabbed my DD and called for help which came in minutes and the Intruder only got away with a phone we were planning to sell anyway DH fixed the computer screen immediately and we went on with our lives made a plan and moved out immediately the landlords are aroles and wouldn't fix the window so our safety was severely compromised anyway on to NN and her new bullsh approach my sister and NN are part of the neighborhood watch WhatsApp group they heard my panicked voice note asking someone to come help us quickly help did come within minutes and decided to try and use it as a way back in as I'm moving my tech tech had to go first DH and I are web developers and literally depend on our PCS to feed our family out of my home to safety at around 8:00 a.m. the same day I get a phone call from a blocked number so I answer it thinking it's my bank asking me to confirm a payment for my servers and because it's quite a large amount I have to verbally approve the transaction there are some huge problems with fraud at the moment like I said people are hungry it's not my bank on the line but my sister is calling to make sure we weren't hurt I tell her thank you we're not hurt we lost nothing we're a bit shaken but nothing too serious and then I start hearing my mother whispering to her on the other end I don't think they knew I could hear her I'm very hard of hearing thanks to my mother and I won't pick up certain sounds I have very thick scarred tissue on my eardrums so they aren't as sensitive as they should be but I could hear her clear as day asked Dan if that was her voice this morning on the WhatsApp group maybe we can get her to let us see Dee so I already know their game my sister asks was that your voice on the watch group you sounded so scared yes flying monkey I know what you're doing I decide to play and I go yeah I was scared there was a dude coming through my window like du and I wait shame man sorry it's never nice how's DD handling it she must be terrified so I reply yeah she was very scared but very brave and did exactly as she was told she wanted to go visit her grandparents while we moved our stuff quickly pause her grandparents oh DHS folks and I just MH and say well I still have loads to do so I must go qu the hail Mary we can take DD for a few days if you guys need a safe spot for her and there it is so I say no thanks thanks for offering but we have everything sorted that should be the end of it but I can still hear my mom say tell her sister's boyfriend wants to take the kids to the fun place she won't say no to him I swear I can hear bitterness so sister asks hey next week can sisters BF take the kids to the fun place amazing haha I just said no we have plans but I have to go now thanks for checking in on us bye and done trust them to try and use a traumatic situation to their advantage I'm actually laughing it's not funny if you look at the intent but like what next I can't be with these people anymore I didn't tell them where we were moving to either update how my family made me hate my name hi guys you know the story on mobile the formatting is probably shd I'm the girl with the mom mom who tried to have my daughter taken away by lying to my daughter's tutor by saying I'm abusive no more Nonna or NN for short I hate my name because it was used so negatively in my formative years and on into my life growing up trigger warning child abuse I'll start this off by telling you guys that while I have been a functioning adult since I was 17 I haven't been okay I have crippling anxiety PTSD and a panic disorder most of the crap that has damaged me has been normalized in my family so I didn't think I was that damaged all those feelings of dislike and disgust were seen as Danny being quirky my moral compass Quirk my love for books Quirk my compassion Quirk my emotional intelligence weak Quirk my overwhelming need to help people hateful Quirk there was just no way for me to feel at all like I was normal or fit in with anyone in any scene because I was told I was weird from the start I've hated my full name for about as long as I can remember and I finally realized why my family are not nice people they talk behind each other's backs and gossip and if you make one mistake it's over for you in their eyes they're very judgmental and there was really no wiggle room around this my whole life the only time I ever heard my full name it was usually tied to something negative being said about me sometimes I overheard sometimes this was done in front of me sometimes it would be something like can you believe how Danny Dan had the cheek to not eat her beans that child will end up with nowhere to go if she keeps this up I overheard while I was in the the next room playing with my granddad's new Parrot yes I was made to feel like the worst person in the world for things as trivial as not liking beans they've also done this to me when I made a tiny Mistake by leaving a document at home that I needed to get my learner's license a simple fix would be to just go home and get it but I heard them gossiping about it weeks later and saying it's the reason why I won't get anywhere in life super dramatic deduction guys I now run my own company despite having forgotten that document most of the time I was given nicknames like noodle or Peach my little mind tied these nicknames to affection because they were used to address me and not used to speak about me so now every time I love someone I give them a nickname my daughter had a nickname 10 seconds into her life and my husband gained his nickname 5 months into dating I didn't realize that this was strange until my Mill asked obviously feeling a little insulted why I never used her boy's real name I couldn't answer I didn't know why and I told her so I hadn't realized that this was strange I was so starved of love growing up that I clung to nicknames as a form of affection and so I exhibit this now in my adult years by giving nicknames to people I love so I hate my name but it goes further than that I don't just hate my name they my family hate it too and I'll tell you the reason now no more n has a tendency to pick favorites I noticed this throughout my life but especially when my DD was born before my DD came along NN would tell the world all sorts of creepy sht like how my nephew was her soulmate and how he descended from light or some sht I think she called him an indigo baby or something but she'd spend a heck of a lot of time with him and buy him all sorts and he was really the apple of her eye then along comes my DD and the poor kid gets pushed aside and forgotten I have a feeling that the same thing happened when I was a baby first there was my sister who was bold and beautiful and the favorite then my mom had me and my poor sister was probably cast aside for a little while in this way my family developed a dislike for me I was apparently high maintenance supposedly born allergic to everything and could not be raised on breast milk or even formula I was always sick which got my mom the attention she was always looking for and my poor sister was neglected because of it I say I was supposedly allergic because I don't believe this to be true I'm doing my own investigation into this and I'm finding out a bunch that I'll put in another post now in order to explain why I understand this I'll have to explain to you how my family operates they're very clicky and often times they'll choose sides and things without it even being necessary for example if I had a disagreement with my sister they'd pick apart my character and tell each other how I'm a terrible human being in order to convince each other to be on my sister's side this was done with even the most trivial of arguments like one time my sister borrowed my eyeliner and didn't give it back and I was then told how my very essence is nasty being a so-called high maintenance baby a lot of attention was taken from my sister and the family I think formed a dislike of me from the start in order to counteract their feelings of grief for the situation at hand so instead of hauling my mother up and telling her to quit her bullsh we form hatred and direct it at a baby I know it seems wild but trust me this has the family name written all over it and they did it to my brother too I know this is true as well because my Nana was telling me about the time my aunts had had enough of watching the abuse and neglect after my baby brother came along please keep in mind that I too was abused my mother beat the living hell out of me and my sister was just kind of left to her own devices we were both hungry though my aunts broke into our bedroom when I was little through the window I remember this and I pretended to be asleep because I was so scared I heard them Whispering about taking sister and leaving me because I don't deserve to be helped this has pretty much stuck in the back of my mind my entire life it's also why I never asked for help they took my sister away through the window and left me there to be abused because they didn't like me only because my mother used me to Fu her attention addiction by lying and saying there was all sorts of wrong with me when there never actually was I'm dealing with the Fallout of it now Nana told me that they left me there because I was too attached to my mother I love her but she can't lie to save her life and I saw right through that because I remembered for a long time I believed them that I hated myself I couldn't understand why anyone should ever love me my family was right I am a horrible person until I met my husband he started pointing out positive aspects of who I am from the beginning before we even started dating telling me things like damn you are a bad AR working so hard to support your daughter with no help that strength and not everyone can do that which took me by surprise because being a single mom had been a sore spot up until that point in my family's eyes I had gotten myself pregnant and beat up and only had myself to blame but my darling husband started to change perspective on things he'd celebrate things about my body that I was ashamed of I was never beautiful in my family's eyes and yet here he was telling me I was beautiful and strong and for a long time I was reserved about whether or not to believe him I'd been programmed to think so little of myself for so long that it was hard to overcome that I know it seems a little out there for a mom to claim her child is sick for attention I didn't realize for a long time that she had done this I genuinely thought I was sick until I grew up and realized I'm fine I know my mother used me because now that she can't she suddenly got all these illnesses like arthritis and lupus and her hip was broken in a car crash and all sorts of nonsense that was never actually diagnosed I'll write about this in my next post I just needed to get this out I'm done bottling it all up thanks for reading this far my entire family is toxic so I'll be writing about them too I'll need to come up with names like a cast list update I'm under enman skin and it's cozy here hey everyone I'm the girl whose mom tried to have my daughter taken from me by lying to the school and saying I'm abusive I'm on mobile as always posting to you from my very warm bed in the middle of a very cold South African winter and the day is beautiful my mom is no more Nuna for those of you who are new please see my previous posts this sht is crazy grab some popcorn now on to my update for any of you who have seen my post history you'd have seen that the economy in South Africa is sht DH and I are both highly skilled but we couldn't find jobs and so 3 years ago we formed our own business which has only really started to turn a profit now is a little more profit wouldn't hurt to be honest but we're fed and have a roof over our heads whereas so many don't and our business is improving every month our business is a Web Solutions smme that we are able to run from anywhere in the world we set this up with immigration in mind we don't want to stay in this country and we've been open about it from the start there is no future here for our daughter why would we stay no brainer there my family sees this as a weakness which is weird now our business offers certain Solutions such as website design managed hosting analytics and SEO which we have helped my family out with for free in the past but you know it's been about a year now that they've been hosted for free and I went there to talk to my sister about paying for her hosting this is the first time I've actually seen them since we moved house and I made sure to do it away from my home so that they still don't know where we live and I can keep my peace their house I can always just leave if they act up my nephew's PC was also miss behaving so DH very kindly offered to fix it for them my nephew like DH is on the Spectrum and his PC is his comfort so we really don't mind helping DH also likes to open up the PCS and show my nephew how they work and they can spend hours disassembling and reassembling components which I think is awesome for my nephew he's learning something of value and he loves it DH is also a huge role model to my nephew because they are so similar and DH understands things from the nephew's point of view so they bond while they're doing this my sister and I were talking about immigration and how they're thinking about it too and she was asking what channels were going through to get out of here and Mom kind of cut in and told me I'm a coward running from my problems I didn't skip a beat I looked her right in the eye I usually don't make eye contact and I saw fire and I told her no actually I'm looking my problems right in the eye she hit back where is my granddaughter why didn't you bring her to see me and I go because you can't respect me as a parent so you don't deserve the time I didn't say it in an angry way just a matter of fact emotionless kind of way facts guys she got so uneasy that she got up went back into their house and started cleaning the situation was so funny that DH and I Dr drove out of there and just started laughing because NN would come out while I was speaking with my sister and start doing random sht like commanding my nephew to feed her dog or asking for one of the couch cushions behind him it was almost like she was trying to establish dominance through the little boy who had come and wrapped his arms around me because he missed me DH was fixing his nephew's computer while this was all going down and he's chuckling away to himself which is making Ann even more uneasy she's never been in this spot before and I enjoyed watching it see she's never been in this position before where she knows she's wrong but can't manipulate me into feeling guilty her first go-to she can't apologize for the wrongdoing that would be acknowledging that she was in the wrong something that's never happened in my life or hers I'm guessing and she can't beat me into submission DH put a stop to that years ago so she didn't know what to do before you guys get annoyed with me for being in contact I must tell you that while I know my sister is a huge flying monkey who is still in and out of the fog I'm not mad at her I can understand why she is the way that she is and I can work with it when I set a boundary she sticks to it I just don't give her any important information to report back to the family and if she doesn't respect my boundary we have a very straightforward relationship where I can call her on it and she can apologize and vice versa my sister and I don't hold that Pride my family has where they can never be wrong and that's why I can work with her she's not bad just damaged I also cannot go and see I can't take my DH away from my nephew this is a problem among adults he shouldn't have to be a part of it and we keep him out of it mostly mom tries to drag him in but I can see my sister is starting to put her foot down there as well which is awesome for her and huge progress but you you know even if something important was relay to the family A who cares I'm in the mindset that nothing I do is illegal come at me bro I'm an adult I make my own decisions anyone who doesn't like it can get wrecked and they've seen it which I count as a win so that's the update on the current situation thanks for reading guys I have so much love for this community you have shown me a huge amount of support and comforted me and I'm sure there will be more toxic families never stop being toxic and I still have so much that I need to unpack and work through but I feel so much like this is worth celebrating update hi everyone you guys know me as the girl whose mom tried to have my daughter taken from me by lying to my DD's teacher and saying I'm abusive on mobile sorry for the formatting boy do I have a happy update for you guys guys I am laughing my ARS off at this woman I had a phone call with my sister this morning I will get back to this soon she's distraught because the tutor the very same one my mom lied to his left and she's worried about her son's schooling I saw the catastrophe a mile away and made a quick move to pull my DD out and school her from home I have been in contact with the tutor to set up learning plans that I can work on with Dei at home NN has tried to buy her way back in sense her childlike Behavior the previous time we saw her she had a sweater custom knitted for D asked me to pick it up obviously a ploy to see DD was super salty that I didn't bring DD when I went to fetch the sweater and she had added a bunch of toys into the mix as well I donated them DD doesn't need any more toys she's got plenty there's poor kids out there with no toys and sorry why should I let her bribe my kid to buy her way back in only to cause more havoc in our Liv Dei hasn't asked for nemen even once since I explained to her about NN breaking the rules and trying to hurt mommy NN tried to argue with me because I asked her not to post any pictures old or new of Dee in the book of faces she was Sour because I didn't stand for her sht human trafficking is growing in the are they're tracking the kids through Facebook and that data is so not private I took one look at the bag and said thanks knowing full well what she was trying but DD doesn't need any more toys and we don't really have room grasping at straws enen goes and where are you living now sensing danger my sister changes the subject and we leave shortly after I had really gone there for a cup of coffee and a chat with my sister and while NN wasn't there I was on my way out as NN was arriving back home so onto the phone conversation with my sister this morning apparently NN has threatened to call my in-laws if we don't let her see DD soon so I laughed at this my sister was very sweet in trying to warn me but really does n men think we are kids to be told what to do by our parents still haha not only that but I so wish she would call my Mill she will be set straight so quickly my Mill is mainly just yes and actually has a mom just like mine I told her NN might be calling to whine about the andc and Mill said that she'd tell her straight to back off and step back in line it's not her place to tell grown people how to parent and that's that I asked my sister if she was really so delusional in thinking that this would work and my sister says she's whining about how mean I'm being Sister tells her maybe you should just leave Dan alone she's made it clear she doesn't want to be bothered with this family anymore I don't think bugging her or invading her space is going to change her mind on forgiving you mom to which this enmen apparently lost it I didn't do anything wrong they're being controlling and blah blah blah blah blah sister says NN knows dhed and I am not talking to her but she's been complaining that she has no idea why not nobody will tell her because she throws temper tantrums like a toddler because she can't handle being wrong oh well I told my sister I'm sorry for what she has to deal with in her home and she replied she must effan move out soon because I'm going to lose my sht with her sister is slowly waking up to the fact that NN isn't broken she's just a be I explained to my sister how calculated and a men's actions have been so she can actually help them it's not like it's something that she does without realizing she's hurting people she actively tries to hurt people sister was hesitant at first of course but she's very quickly reaching the end of her rope there I've been treating my anxiety and starting to take better care of myself I exercise every day and drink loads of water I've been eating better and I feel fantastic business has improved a bit too since we we started talking to a few resellers one of which lives in the USA so yay dollars and we've been gifted a free on screen add by one of our clients as a thank you for helping him with his pcdh likes to fix things for fun so we helped this client without charging him he has a few websites designed and hosted by us sisters bf's business is also doing well sisters business is flourishing NN can't stand to not be in control so she's lashing out trying to put her hooks in anything and anyone so I will probably have another update for you guys soon if she does try anything though I've been in contact with my lawyer I'm still building my case but I will fool on B slaper with legalities gone are the days where I actually cared about whether or not I looked like an arole I know I'm going to do so regardless my priority is keeping NN far away from my DD and any future children I might have I've been working through some other stuff that involves the rest of that side of the family as well so I'll post about that soon there's so much to unpack and work through that it takes a while to draw conclusions and I have to kind of rip these old traumas open to heal them properly and it hurts it's exhausting to deal with I'm sure once I've dealt with most of it it'll start getting easier no I haven't had a self-harming thought or even been teased with the urge to just give up in weeks now I'm so proud of myself I've been speaking more and more openly with DH about these things and he's really supportive but I like to run things past you guys first because well it's sort of like dipping your toe in the ocean I don't like to just Barrel into things I have to let the chaos out if I want to restructure it in an understandable fashion thanks again to everyone of you who have shown waves of love and support between you guys and DH I'm going to be just fine I love you guys update I think I'm ready to talk about my aunt hey guys I know I've been quiet for a long time now I'm the girl whose mom lied to my daughter's school saying that I'm abusive to try to get my daughter taken from me no more N I mentioned in a few posts that pretty much my entire family is toxic and abusive and I had a lot to work through still am to be honest this particular post is dedicated to nen's younger sister whom will call us one before you ask there is another sister will call us too but she hasn't really been around me a whole lot the few times I have seen her have made me dislike her she's not very nice in fact I think she lives up to her own ARS again I'm posting from mobile so I'm very sorry to anyone using a PC for formatting trigger warning death I've been working through this for a while now and I decided that I wanted to share it with you guys because you have walked this journey with me I have an aunt that I've been pretty close to my whole life she wasn't very loving she just showed me minimal amounts of affection and brought me gifts from across the seas and my little soul so starved of Love latched onto any bit of affection I could get my aunt was a nurse a bloody good nurse I'll add I feel like she had this emptiness inside of her and filled it with caring for sick patients she was abusive but not like NN level abusive I went to live with her when I was 13 because NN told us one that she hates me so I can't live there anymore in front of me S one gave me a warm bed some clothes really nice clothes and actually allowed me to focus on my school work though the underhanded insults were not lacking S1 is obese like my mother and they're constantly in competition with each other at the time I thought S one was taking me in because she loved me bear in mind that I was so starved of love that I didn't know what love actually looked like until I had my own baby but she was only taking me in to show everyone that she's a better mom than enmen she'd constantly call me lazy and fat I was a chubby kid in my pre years and make me go out and do physical labor like dig holes in the garden bear in mind I have a spine that's basically crumbling or she'd have me run up and down a hill and if I slowed on the digging or the running she'd shoot me with a paintball gun the family still thinks this is hilarious I was also made to constantly look after s1's daughter 3 at the time we'll call her D for dove I grew so close to that little girl but she was spoiled they constantly bought her things but there was very little physical affection given to her by anyone but me I feel bad for her S1 was diagnosed with a terminal illness her brain is slowly dying and poor D is now 16 and lost D has some severe behavioral issues but I maintain that therapy would help her but of course we won't send her to therapy thy lest she start talking about the disgusting abuse in this family so this poor girl seeks out affection from many boys and drinks like a fish I'm getting to it I looked after S1 a few years ago when her illness was defeating her and she didn't have a boyfriend while I was doing this she couldn't sing my praise high enough now she hates me why does she hate me I'll tell you there's a rule in this family I'll help you now but you'll pay for it later it's unspoken and they pretend that it doesn't exist but it's there my sister organized my wedding I didn't want a wedding I was going to go to home Affairs and then go hiking but my sister wanted to do this so I let her but it was clear that I was not paying because my way was free and much more comfortable for me I love my sister but damn as1 was invited because I do love her I wish I didn't love any of them but here we stand and she's dying she has about 2 months left to live S1 calls me the day before and tells me she's too tired so I let her know that there's nothing to apologize for her I tell her to rest and that I'm not even mad I still love her I wasn't at all stressed but S1 sends D which is cool I love my cousin too D behaved so badly guys I'm sitting here cringing still side note D is 16 but she looks older I've caught her multiple times trying to get older men like ranging between 20 and 30 back to the story D asked literally all of my guests that were friends with either me or D for weed or cocaine marijuana is legal here so some people do smoke but like they're not going to give it to a 16-year-old she got rip roaring drunk interrupted the speeches to make her own speech about herself and then tried to chat up the bartender a man in his 40s only bartending because he couldn't afford his hotel bill and then tried to flirt with my new DH when my sister pulled her aside and warned her to behave herself or she would be taken home she locked herself in the bathroom and cried so loudly that people were getting annoyed I go into the bathroom to see what all the noise is and I see right through her sht nobody who is that upset stops pacing to watch themselves cry in a mirror I'm not kidding so anyway the wedding cracks on and we do the wedding things she's been subdued by my nana who has threatened blue murder if she doesn't re her shdn one more Outburst when nana leaves and hubs has to go and pull her aside to tell her that it's enough now the wedding is finished DH and I head home we're exhausted we are not social people the next day I get a message from D thanks for the party y with a bunch of emojis I tell her thank you for attending but your behavior was unacceptable and I'll be speaking to your mother about your antics last night that was not cool that was my wedding she acts like I'm being mean whatever I didn't expect anything other than this so who cares I send a message to S1 and so does my sister and even Nana backs us up D was out of control my aunt then rips me a new one why am I even friends with people who smoke weed she smokes cigarettes she distinctly remembers that I once took heavy drugs okay yes I did in my late teens but I dealt with that ages ago and have never hidden it or been ashamed of it also what does this have to do with it and I'm to remember that D is 16 and that I am to pay back money that she put in for my wedding I wasn't even aware of this nor did I ask for it so naturally I said no so I was like for a bit but then hubs stepped in and very reasonably stated exactly 16 she shouldn't even be drinking let alone trying to go home with the 40-year-old bartender we very sorry for looking out for your daughter we won't make the mistake again you take care now and we left she had tried to rate my business negatively on Google she had tried to tell lies about me to my sister saying that I once tried to steal my sister's boyfriend of course my sister laughed and told me I have good taste I love that she gets that this family is [ __ ] and that I would never do that my aunt's brain is dying which I think has brought out the ugliest side of her I took her to lunch about 2 months before my wedding and subsequently had to call the place to apologize for my aunt's rudeness she made the waitress cry I gave her like a 200% tip because I felt so bad I guess I just never thought of my aunt as toxic because she showed me a bit of love when I was a kid but she's not there anymore the woman left behind is ugly and I don't care how sick you are you don't get to treat me like that anymore so that's some of what I've been thinking through next I'll tell you all about my uncle as well as the NN side of the family my poor Nana apologized to me when I pointed out the toxic behavior of her children she didn't raise them to be this way I think Nana would have been bad RS had she been born much later but sadly she was a victim of the times born in a generation of women who were to be quiet and agree with their husbands edit to add this won't be the only time I speak about someone so feel free to suggest names I love you guys update no more nna is about to get her come upin hey guys it's been a long time since I've updated on the situation with my witch of a mother no more na n and amen for short for those of you who don't know me I'm the girl whose mom lied to my daughter's school with false claims of abuse to have my daughter taken from me and fired usual apology for formatting as always I am on mobile tww substance abuse I've been quiet on the situation for a while now simply because I have basically severed all ties to the family except for my sister NN has thrown a few good Tantrums but I live in a land with no FS to give so they really haven't rocked my boat at all but my poor big sister has been feeling it quite hard as NN lives with her and has now realize that I can't be moved so she's flipped her sights onto my big sister and everything my sister has an men's favorite tactic is manipulation through lies deceit and Boundary stomping my charming brother who very quickly became just no earlier this year has lost his job lmou it's not funny except for the fact that he fed DH and I over financially and then dropped us in the sht so I like to laugh at this karmic retribution and has subsequently been evicted from his nice new home again LOL and aan moves him into my sister's home without even discussing it with her I feel bad for my sister but she really does need to put her foot down but she is still so easily swayed by threats of oh well he'll just end up on the street is that what you want in a way I'm sort of grateful for the hell I was dragged through because my response to that was you didn't seem to care very much about that when I was 17 he's 25 he can make a plan and I am thankfully still afloat because of it while my dear sister struggles to keep her head above water because she's supporting those two lazy leeches NN has also been spouting quite a few blatant lies that are very easily disproved and here they are my sister's boyfriend is abusing her son I made quick work of that one sister's boyfriend is a drug dealer dude wouldn't even know where to buy wheat he'd make a terrible drug dealer LOL sister's boyfriend is cheating on her and introduced the new girlfriend to en not even going there anyway my sister called me today to tell me the latest and I empathized I really do however the only way to fix this problem that she is having is to kick those two NN and brother out which she's not quite ready to do yet I have had a blissfully peaceful 3 months and I'm not even tempted to disturb that by involving myself so basically all I I do is listen when my sister needs someone to talk to but today is why I'm posting NN revealed her hand to her sister who then called me NN told my sister that she is going to phone my nana and tell her that my sister is harboring a drug dealer law and get my sister kicked off the property Alum fou guys the house the land the business and all the assets were all given to my sister to do as she pleases with Nana so now my sister and I are looking for institutions to put NN in because no body wants to deal with her anymore and she's seriously not acting like a normal person my sister's staff has come to her and said that NN is calling her a w while crying in her car we seriously think that the alcoholism has escalated and I've advised my sister to keep her son away don't let NN drive him anywhere and to just be careful sister wants to ask my just no aunt which institution is best but I'm saying let's rather do this ourselves because Jan not will likely put enem in in a hole if she could and while I do think that would adequately pay for what NN has done to me I don't believe vengeance is the right path I'm saying we don't want to destroy her she needs help sister says it's fine she can harness Jon's fire and I'm saying that fire will burn her house down so it's not a good idea because jont is also super toxic I'm posting this not just to update you guys but also to remind myself why I can never go back these past three months have been totally peaceful and hubs and I have taken some huge strides in growing our business we even made a connection with a lady in Georgia so we might be expanding to the USA soon I have also taken up endurance running again I used to run as a kid and was really good but nmn couldn't have me doing well in anything so I was forced to stop I ran a short distance just this morning but I step it up every day and I'm loving the feeling you guys are awesome for reading and I always appreciate the support I get from this community I especially Love The Cheeky responses I get from here and add them to my arsenal of class backs so feel free to add some more I love you guys edit to add if anyone wants to come up with nicknames for my aunt and brother all are welcome I'm leaning towards the cave troll for my aunt because what's left of her is ugly ugly ugly she's the one with the dying brain from my previous post update it has begun no more nna is getting her come upins but is trying to weasle her way back in with me hi guys it's me again the girl with the crazy egg donor who cannot seem to leave her children to succeed in life or parenting I came to the realization that I have no parents nor have I ever had Parents I had DNA donors but other than that I raised myself and I did a pretty damn good job of it obligatory apology I'm always on mobile I flared my post as TLC needed because while I have prepared myself this woman has abused me my entire life and because I've been free of her for going on 4 months now I've enjoyed absolute Bliss but now she's back and the anxiety is is hitting pretty hard I'm still going to Stand My Ground though anyway the story is in my last post I told you guys about my mother pushing my sister a little too far with her lies and nonsense well surprise surprise she actually amped up the crazy and my sister nearly lost a client because of it details are still unclear but basically from what my sister told me this poor lady client called my sister in an absolute state of concern that her dog was going to be mistreated my sister runs boarding kennels that my grandmother started over 20 years ago because of something my mother said my sister managed to calm the client who is livid she told NN that she needed to leave I'm proud of her however NN is now trying to weasle her way back into my life and I'm really bitter right now I'm mad I'm annoyed this woman is infuriating and I can actually see what DH is talking about now when he says she's very calculated and all of this was done on purpose I have heard nothing from her in three almost four months now I'm not complaining it has been Bliss but now suddenly today of all day the day she is told to leave she starts tagging me in Facebook posts for jobs I don't want or need I own my own business these posts aren't even in my field they're for graphic designers I'm in web design and then the one is for a sustainability specialist a qualification I was forced to get under threat of being homeless yet again and I actually hate the field it was a pain to work in and I own my own company I know what she's doing she likes to pretend to be helpful to get back in my good graces when her other children want nothing to do with her what she fails to realize is that I am done she programmed me to feel guilty she has rugs swept my entire life and made me feel guilty for her nonsense all so that she can emotionally manipulate me into doing what she wants it won't be happening ever again she went for my kid and was dead to me thereafter I stepped up and did what she never did I stepped up and protected my daughter there will be no more guilty Danny there will be no more of her Tantrums there will be no more of her emotional blackmail I truly meant it when I said I was done I finally have the family I deserve the family I always wanted I have a beautiful well- behaved insanely intelligent polite little girl and a husband who adors me as much as I adore him my home is Happy there's so much love and laughter in my home that I'm almost glad I had such an sht life before I had these two in my life because I can appreciate it so much more I know what comes after the fake helpful face though and that's what has me on edge next comes the phase where she'll try to talk to me and honestly I'm not up for it she's probably going to try and rope me into renting a house with her can anyone say F no and if I don't then she'll probably run to anyone who will listen and tell them what a sht person I am the thing is I don't care anymore I feel like she's made enough of an ARS of herself that people who actually matter won't listen and those that do me who cares but I'm tired of the drama she brings it's exhausting and I'm tired of fighting I feel very tired and every fight hurts and that's why I'm anxious I don't want more pain can't she just leave me alone why must she always try to drag people down with her honestly you would swear she'd learn by now that I'm not going down this path again with her I said I was done and I've always meant what I say I'm not a person who speaks lightly with Idol threats I'm very straightforward and when I say I'm done you best know that I mean it I'm unsure as to whether or not I should straight up tell tell her to f off which would give her ammo or to just ignore her until she gets the message though a restraining order is not a bad idea either I'd have to show that I asked to be left alone and she failed to respect my wishes which of course would then require me to engage with her I don't know if anyone has some suggestions I'd be super grateful I'll update you guys as the situation unfolds sorry for rambling I just needed to vent and if anyone has some sassy clap backs please share update shout out to my sister for having a spine so shiny and bright update one guys I am so very proud of my sister she told NN to GTFO obviously my sister isn't soulless so she gave NN time to make a plan but this is huge for her this comes after our chat yesterday NN pulled some shady sht and more info is unfolding as I type this so I'll basically list things that led up to this NN ran my Grand's business to the ground and shoved me out for being a whistleblower a few years ago my sister saw how she treated me like she was literally berating me while I was keeled over in pain from the bleeding stomach ulcers that were caused by her sister took over the business last year and got it back up and running in its former glory nmn has had CBF about this since sister took it over and made it a success because you know who wouldn't want their children to fail it's completely normal NN made money disappear at alarming rates and has lived off of my sister even moving my brother into my sister's home without even discussing it with my sister first nmn was rude and berated one of my sister's clients almost losing the client and costing my sister even more money NN has run around telling stories about how my sister's boyfriend is abusing her son selling drugs and cheating on my sister the poor guy my sister's boyfriend had enough of NN yesterday and asked my sister to drop him off at a BNB bed and breakfast so he could just get some space and have a think about things he doesn't want to leave my sister but he just feels so drained she emasculates him and carefully words sht so that it cuts him pretty deep and he'd honestly had enough so I can understand the minute my sister leaves to take him to the BB my mother runs downstairs with a chesher cat grin on her face to tell my sister's staff that my sister is hiding her boyfriend from the police like WTF today nmn demands my sister pay a $5,000 fine on a car that my mother refused to have moved to my sister's name my sister paid towards the car but my mother just never bothered to take that money and put it towards the license so now she's demanding that my sister pay so that NN can get her new car registered and that was it my sister broke she sent NN this message I have redacted her boyfriend's name mom how can you hold me liable for the car registration when a the car is in your name and B you never bothered to get the log book so that I could get it changed to my name also when I asked you to get the change of address done so that I could at least apply for the registration in Durban and not in jhb Johannesburg which is roughly 800 kilometers from Durban you were worried that it would be removed as you had money owing with Frankie 6 gears my mother's fee at punto yes they named it Frankie 6 gears you kicked up a fuss when I wanted to give it to brother saying that it's your car when I paid the balance owing on it so if it's your car you pay I'm tired of things only working when they suit you whatever fines were owed while I was driving were paid except for the r230 you paid today I'm not effing happy that you for some unknown reason are trying to cut me and my sister's boyfriend off at the knees but I'm getting really tired of this I need you to start looking for somewhere else to stay I'm done as soon as possible you need to be out guys I'm so proud this is huge she went from being a huge flying monkey she just wanted a family to absolutely putting her foot down of course nmn is going to try to run to me but my sister and I have put a plan in place and we're both getting restraining orders against NN no more of this sht I'm meeting with my lawyer he's dh's best friend this Saturday we're watching rugby and having a BRI barbecue and we're going to discuss this at length and figure out the best way forward I thought I would share the news along with my update because I have no doubt you guys would be just as proud of my sister as I am edit added some explanations update holy sht holy sht holy sht so NN read my sister's message and very calmly told my sister that she just needed to make a plan for her animal and would be leaving shortly I don't know if she's going to try to reach out to me again I don't even know what to expect here because she is never calm and rational I'm taking my nephew tonight just in case sht hits the fan and sisters BF will be staying at the BB for tonight I have also told my sister that if she needs backup call us and will DH and I be right there we don't live far this is unsettling update to nephew is at my house currently playing happily in my yard with my daughter and he is none the wiser to the tensions at home update three we're all nephew daughter DH and myself all cozied up watching Beetlejuice sister has been quiet I will check in with her a little later and update again in the morning so far NN has been quiet but has threatened to have all the animals put down we aren't worried though there's no way she can achieve this her sister has reached out to some Rescuers and the situation is sorted update 4 so it is currently 10: p.m. and I have spent spent the past hour on the phone with my sister who is absolutely broken as it turns out she missed her man and went to the BB to spend the evening with him rather than without kiaha but with nobody there to deflect enin as bulled she zoned in on my brother and went for the jugular telling him that she should have aborted all of us no arguments there because she was a terrible mother and he's a failure and he's all kinds of disappointment this after she's done her usual bit for a few months of my son s HTS gold so as you can understand it's very unsettling for him and he broke which then upset my sister who phoned me and long story short there's a huge family meeting tomorrow night with all the people I have no interest in including in my life but I'll go because I love my sister and frankly she deserves better I also found out that enen is drinking again so there are no surprises as to why she is being so vile ug this woman disgusts me update 5 the big meeting isn't happening surprise surprise I did however meet with my sister the morning and I told her that she and her man need to be a unit they need to stand up to NN for their son in front of their son so that this cycle does not continue she was very uneasy because I can be very blunt but I told her I don't think any less of her and that I understand her point of view update update on the situation with no more NAA it isn't a happy ending yet hi everyone I'm sorry it's taken a bit for me to update since my last post I did say that I'd update as this unfolded but what I I found out caused a bit of a spiral for me and I honestly had to take a few moments to just breathe my heart really hurts this hasn't taken a turn for the worst I'm just feeling all kinds of things because this woman just brings pain to my heart she's done so much that she doesn't even have to be around me to cause this hurt for context please see my previous posts warning this post is a long one the formatting is bad as usual because I'm on mobile and there's a trigger warning for alcohol abuse death and abuse I'm going to give a bit more background quickly before I give the update please bear with me I need you to understand why this is so disturbing to me my grandparents were kids during World War II my grandma was a hardcore equin Enthusiast descended from the Dutch who settled in South Africa and spoke queen's English her family lived in swanland my granddad was born in Italy I'm unsure as to whether he was born in Venice and later moved to Sicily or vice versa but he spoke often of the wine stomping festivals my granddad was a brilliant man he went to University and studied art and philosophy he trained to restore paintings but hated his stepmother he had a fiance in Italy who fell pregnant and she was sent away to live in an unwed mother's home where she gave the baby up as life progressed things got messy and more and more hurt was experienced I'm not 100% sure of the full story but I saw firsthand the damage my granddad was always in my corner when nobody was in my corner I could count on him and even though the rest of my family couldn't stand me my granddad taught me to be great always questioned use your brain look closely and speak up I watched him destroy himself with alcohol he became diabetic because of it and he was not a particularly friendly drunk either our relationship broke when he took a swing at me for grating mozzarella cheese the wrong way the week he died he had tried four or five times to call me but he and my mom had had a fight and they were both trying to rope me in so I ignored both of their calls my sister told me he died a week after I ignored that final call and it royally effed me up I went on a two-month Bender I couldn't pull myself together the only person in my family who had expressed love and affection and who spoke my name in a way that I didn't hate was dead and I ignored what were supposed to be his last words to me I was messed up my granddad holds a big place in my heart but there's a mess there because I can't sort through the love and the hurt so he's just there my mother inherited the love for using alcohol to avoid facing herself I've mentioned it before she liked to get wasted when I was in high school what I haven't yet opened up about is the fact that she'd drink and think it was fun to throw her empty bottles at me how vile she'd become and that she'd say the most horrific things to me to try and hurt me and for the most part she did hurt me she'd say things like you stole my youth I was a planned baby and follow it with I should never have had you you should have had an abortion and shockingly enough I agree with her on that one she should never have been a mother if she had just not had me I wouldn't be in this much pain because I just wouldn't be and I'm okay with that I'm not self Haring I'm just okay with the idea of never having existed in the first place I know that is hard for some of you to comprehend but if you could understand the level of pain I smile through on a daily basis you'd understand why I'm so okay with never existing but where she'd hurt me was to say things like oh you were my ugly child or you're not smart or pretty you may as well just sto trying when I got my haircut or if I started dating someone he must be blind or something to that effect or when my boyfriend first real love died you don't get to cry he's the one that croaked the only reason you're crying is because you want him to be here and that's selfish or you constantly whine about nobody loving you well how could they look at yourself just awful sht that really made me hate myself and took away my will to life but I'm still here I'm still fighting and I still smile now on to the update I met with my sister on Tuesday Morning her and her husband my brother started a new job important detail and so he couldn't attend on Monday night I had to keep my nephew with me overnight and it's good that I did because NN got drunk and tore into my brother she told in the same shd I should never have been a mother I should have aborted the lot of you you are nothing but disappointments this was just after he'd spent the afternoon reassuring her that she's not going to be homeless sister told her she needs to leave and that he'd take care of her while I admire his empathy and her language he basically told her that he's better than her because she's pitted herself in competition with the rest of the world and yes that includes her children this explains why every time any of us are doing remotely well she tries to cut us off at the knees and knock us down she can't Elevate herself so she has to pull everyone else down think about it he's doing really well after his fall down he started studying something he's got a new job after losing his last one he's told her he's going to get a new place to live he was planning on taking her with him but that's besides the point in her eyes he's doing well enough to get a place that is better than what she's doing which is living off her daughter my brother seems to be in a tricky position he keeps saying it's my turn as if myself and my sister took the flag for 20 years and now it's his turn sister and I have decided that seeing as we are the eldest we make the decisions we aren't taking away his right to decide but he needs to be protected he needs to not take flak from a woman in her 50s who will make himself harming so we met without him and our decision is final he can hate us all he wants but at least he's alive and that way he can heal my brother did F me over a few times but he's only ever done it when Mom gets in his head when he's away from her he's not a bad guy she just makes him not okay and he acts out I'm not making excuses for him at all he's a grown ARS man who can go to therapy and sort his shd out but I think he needs help to get there and while I am not going to stick out my hand again the last time he bit it was the last for me I'm not going to interfere with my sisters efforts to try and help him the meeting was light we use humor to work through these things so I cracked a few jokes but when it came time for my sister's boyfriend to talk the jokes quickly died down I could see he was struggling with this he has no family his mom was a drug addicted prostitute who would service men with him in the car with her he eventually went to live with his uncle at a prison his uncle was a warden he has no frame of reference my DH does and he noted that DH and I seem to be handling things quite well so he wanted some tips and advice DH gave him some tips and advice he asked me to be straight he calls me the truth LOL I do have the tendency to put my thumb on issues and say things bluntly particularly when people are too uncomfortable and dance around an issue I don't have time to play games I'm more of a say what needs to be said kind of person which I think is why my mother couldn't stand me growing up but nothing gets fixed if we just dance around an issue so I tell them the harsh truth I told them that they were kidding themselves by trying to tackle different aspects of this huge problem alone and that they needed to quit their little game of who needs who more and actually be a unit DH told sister BF that he doesn't need to say anything just being there for her is better than what's going on now we also revealed a few heavy truths about the the effed up dynamic between my mom and sister such as how my sister was forced to drop out of school and how NN raised her to be a meal ticket my sister was meant to be a rich man's wife I even told him that NN had tried to push my sister on a married man while they were still together which really drove the message home I told my sister that her reactions to how NN treats her nephew break my heart that she has without realizing it allowed enn to bully and mistreat her son and she sister condones it my sister was very obviously put out by this until I explained myself further I explained that when I've seen enn bark orders at her son he could be eating doing his homework or playing on his PC or PlayStation and he complains about it his sister has said to him in front of me just go do it you know she isn't going to stop until you do it and I told her that is what breaks my heart you're basically telling your child to lie down and take it so that your mother will be quiet when it is your home you can make it stop at any time because it is your home she acknowledged this she knows I'm right so what came out of the meeting was be a unit stand up for your son it is your home and not an amend you decide the rules and she needs to go well it's the long weekend and one of our sisters is busiest so we've decided to rather wait and see how enen behaves over the next few days to decide what our next move will be sister has found empty bottles in en's room which tells me that she's drinking again great you watch your father destroy himself and his family with with alcohol use and you decide to do the same selfish move depending on how NN behaves over the next few days we are going to do one of two things one she behaves in a vile poisonous alcohol fueled destructive manner in which case DH and I go there and pack her a bag load her up in her own car take the two vehicles ours and hers through to the nearest rehab center leave her there with her suitcase and her car and drive off in our own cars what she does from there is her own indaba an African IDI meaning your own story issue or problem or two she behaves herself in which case we meet after the long weekend and read her the riot act with some very strict boundaries that also include a date and time of her departure oh yes she's leaving either way I know she is going to bring up RNC but DH and I are a team and we are going to tell her together that she is not welcome in our lives and that the moment she decided to go for our daughter she was dead to us we are only there because we love my sister and her family and nmn is making our family unhappy so we are doing what the rest of the family has failed and will continue to fail to do protecting our family I'm a little bit broken up about this it hurts me that my nephew has lived with this and it hurts me that my siblings yes brother included are being hurt by that cancerous lump of narcissism and bitterness I'm angry I'm just so angry sorry that was long I will update again thanks for reading I know the post flare says no advice but I can't seem to change that I just wanted the update and Trigger waning part if any of you have advice that can help us through this sht storm I'd love to hear it thanks again for the support I love you guys update NN I may have reached out to my abuse of X I can't prove a thing this is so frustrating and exhausting I just know she's up to something I can feel it in my stomach ulcers which have sadly returned today I saw my daughter's biological father the one who tried to murder me and my unborn child yes him pop up in my Facebook notifications my surname has changed the only way he could possibly know me as my married name is if nen reached out to him and gave it to him I haven't told my husband yet I'm not sure why I haven't told him but if she has told him who I am and he has found my company name he has an address and that terrifies me I'm supposed to be spending my Heritage day playing board games with my little girl and my husband but instead I'll be watching the gate and checking the windows because I am absolutely terrified that he's coming for us years ago before my daughter was born before my ex could hurt her I ran away successfully disappeared and registered my daughter's birth certificate as father unknown I need to find out if he can contest that but I'm literally too afraid why is she doing this to me I'm so tired I asked my sister how she had been behaving this weekend my sister says she has been Angelic so I just know that this was her she likes to act all innocent when she's trying to F me up I'm so exhausted I'm terrified and I have hot metal rods poking around in my stomach I need help update update on the no more n no situation it seems I go forward alone hey guys I know it's been long and this may seem like a bland update but it is huge for me this is a long one and I am posting from mobile so I'm really sorry for any formatting issues I flared the post as advice wanted because I'd like to know what you guys think if I'm leaving anything out or if there is maybe something more I could be doing to protect myself and my family please let me know feel free to ask questions as well tldr sisters shiny spine fails because NN is behaving I'm still going ahead with the row and setting a firm boundary for the future so that I won't be involved when NN eventually acts up again on to the story so when we last left off sis and I were going to meet about en's behavior and decide where to go from there NN was behaving herself far too well and I had figured out that while she put on her best Angelic face to my sister she had gone and contacted my ex DD's biological father who was very abusive physically verbally emotionally and financially but I had not yet told my sister well as I thought my sister was not ready to go full circle yet I called her up last week and said hey dude are we meeting this week to discuss a way forward with Mom she goes uh no she's been really good so I don't see a point in that side note I'm going to put a side note here because I'm very frustrated at this point I have been enjoying the feeling of actual happiness and an existence free from anxiety for the first time in my life which was then instantly dissolved when my sister dragged me into this situation by guilting me because I was the SG and she wasn't used to dealing with it she was literally begging me for advice and help UND dealing with this I go against my gut which was telling me to stay the F out of that mess and go with my heart I love my sister and wanted her to not be stuck and deal with that pain because I know how it hurts and I wouldn't want anyone to feel it I don't by any means think my sister is a terrible person or even think badly of her I just don't think she is where I am emotionally or mentally she hasn't dealt with inmen as long as I have and obviously is still being blinded by the illusion that she may one day get the family she wants out of those people and whatever to each their own but I felt a need to set a very clear boundary here and so I did back to the story I ask her have you been following Our advice she says yes especially her boyfriend and because of it nmn has behaved so well and that's why she feels that no further consequence is needed NN is still agreeing to move no date set so we all know that's not going to happen and she has been buying her own food because she's Banting which is very expensive and I'll add here that enn is morbidly obese she claims that Banting helps her lose weight but in reality if you eat a stick of butter with a kilo of of bacon and a block of goat cheese for breakfast your ARS is going to get even bigger so I told her you understand that this is just a phase right she will go back to her old ways once the threat of being kicked out dies down I was tempted to mention that NN pulled a dck move in contacting my ex but thought better of it because if my sister is still in the fog that sht can be weaponized and I will not give them more ammo she goes yeah but I just want to enjoy the piece for now we jump over that bridge when we get there notice she said will she immediately assumes that I'm going to keep dragging myself back here to help her when she won't even help herself I love her but damn I have my limits this whole situation has turned me into an anxious mess I have stomach ulcers again and I'm not waiting for them to rupture again and for my health to get worse to the point where my fingernails tear like rice paper my hair starts to fall out my teeth start feeling loose and my skin breaks out in hives no screw that my health now comes first I love her but no so I say sis don't take this the wrong way but no I can't keep doing this you're too afraid of conflict and this is an unending cycle that I can't stay in I'm sorry but if you won't get it over and done with you're on your own she tells me she understands and that she still loves me and she has to do this for her own Peace of Mind otherwise she'll be dealing with the guilt forever and I get that so I told her I understood and she can always talk talk to me but I'm not getting involved anymore I told her what it was doing to my health which she probably couldn't understand because she didn't live with us most of the time and she didn't see what was done to me I need to be getting on with my life even though it may sound selfish she tells me she definitely understands and won't ask me to take any more action I don't really believe that because she's still stuck in a certain mindset and I can almost guarantee that the next time NN acts up give it a few months Max she'll come running to me again but the boundary is that and I've been consistently reinforcing and sticking to my boundaries so that's that I'm still sticking to the plan I'm still getting the RO have been in contact with my lawyer and have been going through all my documents getting my ducks in a row it takes time because it's decades worth of infractions there's my medical records from childhood statements from friends in my teen years stating that they suspected I was being abused and how they'd come to check on me Financial records of my mother taking loans out in my name and more medical records from adult Ood because she had me so stressed out that I got really sick and nearly died from stomach ulcers that ruptured and bled while she berated me for being lazy and needing to lie down because I was disgustingly sick I had turned yellow and I still to this day don't even know why my liver was affected just that it was I have pictures of my yellow self to add to that file as well as reports from the teacher about the accusations made recently by NN and my records disproving those accusations there really is just so much I made the plan with the possibility that my sister would back out anyway so her stuff doesn't affect my plan so whatever the family has also been making noise because DD and I have consistently spent Christmas with dh's side for the past 3 years and they want to see DD but that is a post on its own or a series of post fall so I'll post about that tomorrow sigh I'm still waiting through the crap to get free of this nonsense and it's still so messy and exhausting but I'm getting there thanks for reading guys I love you all update it's no more on NAS birthday and I am a giant ball of red hot anxiety I know I promised an update but I'm not quite ready yet as I've had a few very traumatic and effed up memories surface through therapy that I'm still trying to work through and I'm just not there yet onto the reason I'm posting today I sent indirect birthday wishes short and to the point happy birthday I didn't even call her mom my reasoning is that I don't want to feel like a giant ball of shd throughout this whole debacle I have had one thing on my side I have no reason to apologize to ignore her birthday would in my mind make me feel like I now need to apologize because while I can be a quivering mess at times I can at least rest assured that I have never ever gone out of my way to hurt anyone regardless of their actions I've told myself that cutting them off is for my protection and my family's well-being not to hurt them and that's the truth but now I'm second guessing myself wondering if I foolishly left the door open what do you guys think update hey guys a lot has happened since my last post obligatory apologies because I'm on mobile and if anyone wants some background information please feel free to check out my previous posts no more Nona has moved out of my sister's home and taken my brother with her awesome the problem now is that she doesn't have my sister as a moral compass for lack of a better metaphor and is now trying her luck with me she's now made my DD a plushy unicorn which I know DD would lose her mind over but she won't be getting it this is the hill I will die on that woman will not buy her way back in what I need help with is how I go about politely and quietly shutting this sht down I unfortunately cannot go scorched Earth I want to so badly because my dear sister is getting married at the end of this month and I really don't want to have any negativity tied to her wedding I mean we've gone through so much she deserves the best wedding some normaly anything that's not a constant reminder of the sht show we come from I will make a separate post about the mess I'm unpacking at the moment in the next few days I'm not sure yet how to put it into words but what I really need help with is this NN situation the absolute last thing I want is for her to push her way back into our lives but I also absolutely cannot skip this wedding my sister and I have always been there for each other because we had parents who weren't asking her to not invite the family is also not an option because she's still floating in that cloud where she believes they offer some form of value to her life so she still cares about them and wants them included in the big moments of her life and it would be incredibly selfish of me to rob her of that I'm sorry if this seems disjointed broken up and illogical I'm not in the best place emotionally update possible text response to en's attempt to buy her way back in apologies because I'm on mobile so I've taken a few days to let this fresh attempt to buy her way back in permeate and settle I have drafted a response to her text the details of which can be found in my previous post but I'll quickly recap no NAA is my very abusive mother she pulled some seriously Shady sht telling a major lie to get my daughter taken from me we went and see she has made various attempts to buy her way back in Via gifts for my daughter this time around it was a handmade plushy unicorn 10 points for sentiment she then texted me a picture of said unicorn and then another text to say hi Danny sister has DDS unicorn I have since spoken to my sister and informed her that we will not be accepting gifts from NN and that we are sorry that NN chose to put my sister in the middle of all of this so I have drafted a response I'd like it if you guys could weigh in a bit here hi thank you for the time and effort taken to make such a beautiful plush toy however we will not be accepting any gifts from you for the foreseeable future you crossed a major line and sidestepping me to try and get at my child again does not constitute an apology it's more of a manipulation you cannot buy your way back in feel free to blame me for the rest of your life or whatever I'm quite comfortable shouldering that you are not welcome in our family life until the following conditions are met you seek out therapy from a licensed practitioner we receive a sincere apology for the sht you pull you learn to respect boundaries your children are all adults two of whom have their own children we my husband and I are not okay with your attempts to manipulate and control often enough feeding fires between siblings to divide us rather than having a healthy Rel relationship and encouraging your adult children in their various walks of life but you only encourage when you're in a good mood or possibly want something from someone otherwise that person is sht in your eyes and I'm okay with being sht in your eyes you have caused me a great deal of emotional and physical pain and you are no longer welcome until you can address the root cause of your behavior and give assurances that this bullsh will never happen again now in terms of sisters weddings this day is about sister and Bill and this drama should not Tain that so we will see you there I will have no fighting or any Jerry Springer Antics in front of my child so we will be civil you will be allowed to give your granddaughter a hug and thereafter you are to let her play there will be no gifts no love bombing no demands for her to talk to her parents about sleepovers or visitations and no attempts at manipulation whatsoever the bottom line here is that we do not accept gifts with strings attached and so far you have proven to use gifts or favors as a mean me to manipulate and control do you think it's too lengthy too Stern too confrontational let me know your thoughts thanks so much as always you guys are the best edit okay I have removed the swearing and added a bit to request that she doesn't put my siblings in the middle of this here's the new one hi thank you for the time and effort taken to make such a beautiful plush toy however we will not be accepting any gifts from you for the foreseeable future you crossed a major line and sidest stepping me to try and get at my child again does not constitute an apology it's more of a manipulation you cannot buy your way back in chisu and DD has other grandparents who are far more supportive and respectful of our parenting you are not welcome in our family life until the following conditions are met you seek out therapy from a licensed practitioner we received a sincere apology for the nonsense you pulled you learn to respect boundaries your children are all adults two of whom have their own children we my husband and I are not okay with your attempts to manipulate and control often enough feeding fires between siblings to divide us rather than having a healthy relationship and encouraging your adult children in their various walks of life but you only encourage when you're in a good mood or possibly want something from someone otherwise that person is nothing in your eyes and I'm okay with being nothing in your eyes you have caused me a great deal of emotional and physical pain and you are no longer welcome until you can address the root cause of your behavior and and give assurances that this Malarkey will never happen again now in terms of sister's wedding this day is about sister and Bill and not this nonsense so we will see you there I will have no fighting or any Jerry Springer Antics in front of my child so we will be civil you will be allowed to give your granddaughter a hug and thereafter you are to let her play there will be no gifts no love bombing no demands for her to talk to her parents about sleepovers or visitations and no attempts at manipulation whatsoever we have not put DD in in the middle of this she still knows and loves you and we encourage that love furthermore I would request that you do not put my siblings in the middle of this sister is not there to shoulder your burden your problem is with me and not sister or brother the bottom line of this text is that we do not accept gifts with strings attached and so far you have proven to use gifts or favors as a means to manipulate and control edit to I sent it update I find it difficult to tolerate my Mally ill s hi everyone it's me again also an obligatory apology because this is long and I'm on mobile so my formatting probably stinks tldr my sill has put my kid in danger she has flown off the handle at myself and my kid and given a half-hearted apology for it a small update on NN I'm the one whose mom tried to have my daughter taken away by telling lies to my DD School saying that I'm abusing my child my mother is no more nun if you'd like a bit more background please feel free to read my previous posts but the bottom line here is that my mom and her family are insanely abusive they did some deplorable sht to me and as a result I'm a little bit broken but I'm healing I have some updates on that situation that I'll start with first NN was kicked out of my sister's home and went to find somewhere else to live all was peaceful for a few months but then she moved in next door to my sister and I'm laughing a little at that because it is just insane my sister sister doesn't seem to mind her FH does he's Furious L and rightfully so so whenever DH and I go over there we make sure to let him know that he is not alone we'd be pissed too sister is also a bit annoying right now because she refuses to plan things like an adult but that's some minor Beck nonsense that I'm handling quite well there was a minor incident that I'll post about at a later stage but NC with NN continues now on to the sil Sil is schizophrenic she is on medication and she is not a danger to us however I feel and DH agrees with me that she uses her mental illness as a sort of crutch often using it as an excuse for shtt Behavior one example my DD has an iPhone but only myself and DH are allowed to text her or call her we've actually blocked anyone else from the phone because we want her to be able to reach us but we don't want outside influences that we can't yet control DD is nearly seven so I don't think I'm being unreasonable with this well according to to S I am being unreasonable she would like to be able to text my DD why just because L it's not happening she is actually the reason we restricted access so heavily DD received a text a while back and it made my skin crawl the text was something like hello my darling how are you feeling today I'd like you to take a picture of your face and send it to me please my sweetie yuck yuck yuck now that I know who you are that's flipping creepy so DH and I made the mutual decision to limit the phone to just us being able to reach it now you think that's all right elow it wouldn't be this sub if it was a while ago she took DD for a walk around the block and they passed a troop of monkeys and this B ran she just left my kid there and the kid screamed blue murder I ran out to see Sil legging it down the street and my kid was further behind her than I'm comfortable with running with the alpha male and Troop on her tail and I was livid I ran up and stood my ground scared off the monkeys and grabbed my kit walk inside with her sobbing in my arms and leave DH to deal with this pathetic thing that I can't even actually see as human at this stage she eff and left my child to be attacked by monkeys now monkeys are a usual occurrence where we live and we as adults know how to deal with them and yet she did everything wrong she showed her teeth turned and ran and left my kid behind not just that but the one day she flies off the handle screaming at DD because DD picked me flow hours and she was mopping the bathroom floor yeah that doesn't make sense to me either I spoke sternly told her to never speak to my kid that way again and she flew at me I shut us in the room and this bee stands at my bedroom door screaming at me to the point where her brother my DH actually had to go out because telling her to stop was not working he had to scream at her and it was all just awful I was triggered my kid was crying he was ashamed because he really doesn't like having to shout and she would just not apologize I went to therapy she uses the same therapist and explained my side I told the therapist that I was angry and that I fought so hard to get away from that and she went for my kid which makes it even worse the previous fight she and I had was where she tried to use my mental health I have severe PTSD and anxiety duh I grew up in abuse against me and I shut it down and she locked herself in her room demanding I apologized to her I did not but I received a half-hearted apology from her not because she was sorry but because her mother told her to apologize so I got a sorry we disagree it was very clear that the apology was not sincere and therefore not accepted but we moved on this time around I wasn't having any of it I didn't speak to her for 2 weeks this was around Christmas time so you must know how awkward it was but I stood my ground she goes to therapy and DH seems to think that the therapist told her she needs to apologize I got that our relationship means more to me than this fight so no I don't accept it that's not an apology DH says he thinks she's ticking boxes to appear reasonable and I agree I'm done with her I don't trust her as far as I can throw her we are moving out his parents might battle a bit but it's no longer our problem she's inconsiderate incredibly selfish does not respect boundaries EES drops on our conversations doesn't contribute at all financially she works but thinks she can dictate who eats what and tries to push herself into our parenting by telling us what decisions we should be making be you can't even look after yourself let alone another human his mom defends her shty attitude Embrace yourselves for TMI I swear to Christ I have not pooped in two weeks because every time my cheeks hit the seat she effing knocks on the door to have a conversation and when I'm in the shower she turns on Taps I have had enough I decided to post here because the absolute last straw was last night when I went to the shower and this bee has used my effing razor I can't shave my legs now can't poop I can't take my medication freely I'm just so over it I'm about ready to explode so I'm here once again for your fantastic advice My worry is that DH starts a new job on Monday DD is at school most of the day so I will be home alone with Sil and I need advice guys I don't want to fight but I'm tired of her I suspect I'm going to be posting more about her so name suggestions are welcome we are only moving out of here in about a year thanks for being supportive I love you all thank you for watching the video if you are interested in listening to these kinds of stories we've got more in store for you simply subscribe to our Channel hit the like button and share it with your friends

give me a good story on MyAbusiveNCMotherReturnedforMyDaughterThisTimeandFalselyClaimedIAbusedHerGrandchorig

hey everybody hope you're all doing well my name is steven and this is the story time channel we've got some pro revenge stories so let's jump right into our first story of the day by muttmutt069 don't think i'm worth the money kiss your income goodbye so i was living in a town where there was an old hotel that was in the process of being converted to apartments ended up moving in and at some point started to help the owner let's call him steve out with a lot of stuff started with little odd jobs here and there helping tear out a wall or take debris out no big deal really made a few extra bucks being a geek it didn't take long to start ending up helping handle some other stuff they had internet access available but it was using hp and a so basically in-home dsl over lines in a 50 year old building they slowly were adding more people here and there so adding more capacity ended up being my job as well as handling the installs and troubleshooting building had its own cable system as well and it had issues with some stuff overheating came up with a design that would simplify the build out somewhat and remove the issue of overheating boxes as well as adding more room for channels to be added and creating a type of scrolling tv guide channel using titan.tv and an autoscroll plugin in the browser then piping it onto a channel and adding some music before long i was handling most of the maintenance for all the apartments internet cable lockouts and whatever else might be needed then steve's stepdaughter moved in and things started to happen that were fishy my information being removed as the lockout number among other things so i gracefully moved on and got out of the way as i didn't want to be in the middle of family i also had no hard feelings for steve over what the daughter or her husband was doing i still got calls with questions and would answer them here and there about six months after moving out i got a call that steve needed help as the boiler system was acting up and basically the building did not have heat i went down and helped to get things tore apart since the daughter's husband couldn't be bothered he moved out of a house because he didn't want to take care of things even though the wife did most of it ended up the fins on the boiler had clogged up with the soot during startups over a few years we cleaned it all out got it up and running disaster averted owner had another project he wanted some help with so rather than turn down some extra cash i figured why not we ran a small water line from the top of multiple plumbing shafts to the basement so that a set of valves could be put into place so the recirculation pump would be able to evenly get water through the lines and everyone would have instant hot water ended up moving back to the area a couple months later as they started helping steve with an even larger building nearby the old hotel converted to apartments was 10 stories tall so not small but didn't need a lot done most of the time the new place was not as tall but was larger and more spread out one section had three floors and the whole thing sat on something nearly the size of a city block i think the total square footage was around 50 000 inside i was taking care of the apartment maintenance needs and a few other things again as well as staying in the building with my wife who was acting as a lookout in the evenings during the day i would help out with whatever was going on we literally reworked a lot of structural steel re-clad one section of the building with corrugated steel sheets extended one section of the building and poured concrete floors and retaining walls i started having issues here and there with getting overheated during the day heat stroke and while i was living there i had not actually moved yet so i ended up taking a week to put most of our things in storage we were literally living at the building in an rv i had to keep the building secure when i got back steve started complaining that the power for the building was a hundred dollars and blamed it on me running an air conditioner we had been running a 220 welder on average four hours a day five days a week but it had to be that ac unit and basically said there was no way i could keep an eye on things if it was running because i couldn't hear anything it had been over a month of straight highs with over 100 degrees but with another roof over my rv it never got direct heat so i called bs as my two-bedroom apartment i just vacated only had electric costs of around 120 per month and it was all electric with a lot more items using power including my aquarium a question was then made about what i thought i was worth i figured 10 per hour i dealt with a lot including maintenance on all the machinery and his vehicle and never charged for fuel or mileage when i would drive my own vehicle to do things for as long as i worked for the guy i always had to bid my jobs outside of maintenance work i was only receiving a flat amount of money each month for the work in the building and my wife received nothing for keeping an eye out which she did pretty well of since i actually caught a teenage kid in the building with her seeing them steve stated that no one was worth 10 per hour to him other things were being thrown out as my fault too basically steve was under the gun on a couple things as when he bought the building it was actually scheduled to be torn down and another building across the road which was also scheduled to be torn down was bought slightly after he purchased his yet it had already been completely rehabilitated and was opening up space for lease the other building was smaller but had quite a bit more to have done to get it up to code the roof was completely gone and the inside was so full of trash it took nearly a month to clean it out steve kept changing things after something was done and then turning around and changing them again wasting more and more time a lot of other things were going on as well so i opted to be done and move on again this time with no option of going back my wife's stealth had started going downhill anyway so being blamed for petty crap wasn't worth it and i obviously was not wanted around anymore now here is the revenge i had told him multiple times that there was an issue with his fire alarm panel not charging the batteries the local fire department had been on him once before and forced more smoke detectors to be installed as a retrofit and a few other things the smoke detectors were installed but the battery charging issue was never fixed properly other things in the building had also started to fall into disrepair that i had told him needed to be dealt with for instance some very large windows were cracked and had a few pieces broken with tenants in them it was a two-man job to fix the windows and steve had too many irons in the fire he had sunk over 500 000 into the new building and either couldn't afford to have someone else do the work or didn't think it was worthwhile so we kept putting it off i went ahead and contacted the city about issues that needed to be addressed as well as drop some complaints about some things i used multiple email addresses from accounts i set up for exactly that purpose so it would never track back to me and contacted multiple members of the city council as well as the fire chief i never contacted steve again but the last time i was there the apartment building was shut down with signs stating that it could not be occupied since the fire alarm panel had been written up on once before due to issues and he had been told that if it became a problem again a sprinkler system would be required to bring the building up to code with it acting up again the fire marshal shut it all down the new building is now off the demolition list but it once again sits empty as there is likely not enough money left to pull from the apartment building to make it complete you see being off the list only required it to be warehouse grade which is basic lighting emergency lighting mostly airtight with egress and fire systems once that was done more work would be needed to actually start using the structure for office space and things of that nature going from 100 apartments to 23 with a few rent houses that needed to work likely took the last little bit of money he had free to do things the apartment building was truly unsafe as if the power went out the fire alarm panel would not function and with a tall building a fire on a lower floor would lead to pure disaster all he had to do was fix it so the batteries were charged and would stay that way and pay someone to do work on the panel if it was acting up but then again no one was worth ten dollars an hour why would he pay someone who was going to make even more than that i felt bad for most of the people who live there since they lost their home but i would have felt worse if they were hurt or worse in a fire the one thing i wish i had seen was the step-daughter and her husband's faces while they had to move they were on the top floor as well as steve's and his wife's faces when the building was basically condemned but i still go back and look at the news article showing it all shut down and have a little smile it just doesn't pay to be a jerk when someone has tried to help you out let me ask you guys do you agree with me when i say i think op should have left that job way earlier than he did let alone the not worth ten dollars an hour comment it was kind of clear opie was getting taken advantage of and doing a lot of work for this guy and probably not getting the compensation he deserved let me know if you agree with me or not in the comments down below our next story is by yolo swagger not won't let me rezone my property enjoy the smell of 400 hogs a city near me had a farmer holding out as the city expanded the city wouldn't let him sell his land zoned commercial since it was a farm while the farm was completely surrounded by commercial development the city wanted him to sell the land zone for agriculture basically to let some dev bulldozer the fields and flip it for commercial space easily ten times profit settled into a stalemate the area became more and more developed housing encroached the back of the property the farmer getting old and getting tired of this crap not wanting to pass the fight onto his kids came up with a plan the property had been used for soybean and farming corn to this point not really a burden to his neighbors he applied for and received proper licensing from the state for a hog confinement lot in case you don't know that is where they keep tens of thousands of hogs before they're brought to the market normally located deep in farm country stinks for miles the city tried to stop him legally but they never incorporated the land in the first place they tried to stop it at the state he followed the process to the letter and well it is farmland they thought he wouldn't follow through maybe he did he had 400 hogs delivered to what at this point was one of the busiest roads in town the locals nearly lynched the city council in less than a week the city backtracked a nearly 20-year feud and let him sell his farm for the fair commercial rate as he had originally bargained for that is absolutely beautiful you hate to see the city council treat this person so unfairly and expect them to give up their property surrounded by commercial development as an agriculture zone because it's cheap as heck compared to a commercial development spot just so some apartment building can be sprouted up there for the cheap cheap low price making sure their farmland completely ruined the intrinsic value of the neighboring area completely made the city council buckled to their knees and say please please just sell it as commercial it took 20 years but the payoff was beautiful and our final story of the day is by vast seaworthiness dinan dash diva gets what she deserves my group of friends have been together for quite some time at least starting from the end of middle school the majority of us ended up going to the same college so good for us anyway one of our friends had been acting up unreasonably and starting drama for fun it had been slowly building up for about a year now gossip and rumors we can deal with because we know each other and we can usually pick the truth from the lies easily at the point of her rumor spreading we distance ourselves from her quite a bit her latest antics have been much different for the sake of this story her name can be d in our area cases have been so low that we've started to go out more with the whole gang extra precautions aside things look to be normal we eat at a semi-formal restaurant as is our custom something about dressing up and treating ourselves is something we try to do as much as we can financially permit things seem fine until the bill comes and it's time for each of us to settle up dee starts to get shifty and starts tapping at her phone she stands up quickly and says she needs to go it's an emergency she fast walks out of the dining room and out of sight we try to text and call after but no answer we end up all absorbing her part of the bill a one-time favor for a friend in need right the second part of our routine is to go to the host's house where we drink watch movies and have a good time kelly was to be the host this time we're not much for gossip but dee's odd behavior mixed with our previous antics got us on the topic all six of us shared some stories and it looked like every one of us had some personal run in with our friend the second time we all go out to dinner everything seems well dee ordered a lot of mixed drinks and seemed thoroughly tipsy foolishly we believed she would pay her tab this time before the waiter could even bring up how we wanted the bill split dee excused herself to the bathroom and did not return we all have jobs along with scholarships so thankfully money isn't our primary worry however last time's bill paired with dee's inflated dinner and alcohol tab would have collectively set us back about 300 reluctantly we paid although we didn't see her it was assumed that she drove home drunk we rendezvous to the host's place very annoyed and in no mood to party again d refuses our calls and does not open our messages we busy ourselves by trying to get in touch with some of these other friends through the mishmash of conversation it was revealed that dee was receiving a stipend from her father that she was saving to buy herself a new tesla not only did she have a job but she was getting free money from her dad there was no reason for her not to pay her bills i guess she thought this way she could get her tesla faster we had collectively been fed up with her crap since all of us felt burned we decided to plan some revenge we knew she had the cash she just didn't feel obliged to hold her weight at this point we were all waking up to how entitled she could be our sense of loyalty and nostalgia had blinded us for way too long today was the day we decided to go to a very nice restaurant today about twice the price of what we would normally do he looked so excited bless her we all ate drank and had a great time tee had ordered many drinks and was again drunk we were careful not to wait too long or else dee would dash so just as dessert was over and the prospect of after dinner coffee was being thrown around we all declared that we had a surprise for dee next month is her birthday so we thought it would be reasonable enough time to use it as an excuse for her to close her eyes dee did as she was told and was instructed not to open her eyes until we said so because the gift takes a minute to set up we all got up quietly filed out of the restaurant and left her there with her eyes closed just as we were pulling out of the parking space we all took one car to save time after our escape dee took her own car as usual we saw dee running out of the door searching wildly for us she caught sight of the card just as we rolled away middle fingers arise our phones were blowing up like crazy tons of vile messages following the calls i got the thinking the bill must have totaled around 700ish for everyone we would have never picked this place normally although the food was very good the rest of the gang headed to my apartment about 30 minutes later we each received a message saying we owed her 738.17 along with a photo of the bill she had the audacity to include her part of the bill in that amount as well and judging by the receipt she gave no tip classy i replied with this message i guess you'll have to dip into your tesla fund take an uber home before you lose your scholarship and your friend's boozer we know you can afford it to say she went crazy is an understatement she went coconuts she tore us a new one on twitter blocked us then unblocked us to rip us some more then blocked us again now kelly who has an alternate snapchat account is treating us to her near psychotic rants talking about fake who ours who never did anything for her i guess that's us maybe next time she'll learn to pay for herself like an adult d is totally in the wrong here how are you going to dine and dash on who are supposed to be your friends multiple times i get that the bill is expensive and you want that brand new shiny tesla but you can't leave your friends hanging dry like that they're not really your friends if you do that to them i would never be able to do that to a group of my friends like i wouldn't even just be able to act like that like i personally just would not be able to do that kind of a rude thing to my friends so i don't really feel bad about her having to pay the bill for everybody else in the end but with that being said that's all the time we have for today so if you enjoyed the stories today please consider giving the video a like and if you haven't subscribe and turn notifications on so you'll never miss an upcoming video and if you had a favorite story of the day let me know which one and why in the comments down below but no matter what you did whether it was liking commenting subscribing whatever you did thank you all so very much for supporting me right here on the story time channel i hope you all have a wonderful day and as always i'll be back tomorrow with more reddit stories right here on the story time channel you

give me a good story on rprorevengeTheFarmerwhobeattheCity

aita for telling my wife she can sleep outside and that my niece isn't going anywhere so for context 5 months ago my older sister 33f and her husband 36m passed away in a car accident and I stepped up to raise her two kids 1 M and 5f so my abusive parents couldn't DNT get a hold of them this surprisingly upset my wife of nearly 10 years as she was comforting and understanding when the news first came out after that day after day she's cruel to my 5-year-old niece and refuses to acknowledge her since last year I've been in a legal battle to get my sister's children in a safe home our parents were extremely abusive during our whole lives and we agreed to never let any of our children be near SLB in their custody while my wife wasn't fond of the idea I let her know it was non-negotiable for the past 5 years me and my wife have been trying for a baby as we have always wanted to be parents we found out pretty quick that she was infertile and it was going to be extremely difficult to get pregnant this caused my wife a lot of stress and depression she started to act like a whole new person and was obsessed with sex with only the intent of conceiving after a year of trying she finally found out she was pregnant and this was a miracle for our marriage she became so much more loving caring and talked about being able to feel the baby and it just overall fixed her my sister's wedding was coming up around that time and my wife was very insistent of not going because of pregnant

give me a good story on AITAfortellingmywifeshecansleepoutsideandthatmynieceisntgoinganywhereorig