input
stringclasses 1
value | output
stringlengths 89
337k
| instruction
stringlengths 24
130
|
---|---|---|
would you be the jerk for outing your best friend of 10 plus years we'll get
into that in a bit but first am I the jerk for correcting my stepdaughter's
dad when he called me her nanny I've been with my wife for eight years now
she has primary custody of her daughter Santana 9. Santana sees her dad Mark
every other weekend and some holidays as I've been one of Santana's primary
caretakers for the past seven years since I moved in with her mom I have
taken care of her more than Mark has and we're quite close my wife and I have
went on to have two children together who are now five years and 18 months
I've been a stay-at-home dad since the five-year-old was born as a result I'm
the one making lunches driving kids to activities Etc that includes for Santana
Mark has always felt insecure about my place in Santana's life I've always
encouraged her relationship with her dad
while also been a place she can go to in order to vent about both her parents
I've never asked her to call me dad but I've made it clear I love her the same
as her siblings and she she's also said that she loves me and considers me her
second dad Mark also mocks me for my stay-at-home dad role my wife always
shuts him down and I just ignore him he has in the past jokingly called me
Santana's a nanny and I just roll my eyes and say whatever you think Mark I
really don't see him much as my wife will take Santana to her dad's and pick
her up however yesterday my wife was sick and asked me to pick up Santana she
really couldn't get out of bed and I knew Mark wasn't going to drive out to
us he's refused in the past so I went over to his place to pick her up he was
throwing a barbecue and had some family there I'd never met any of them Santana
ran into my arms excited to see me and shouting my name a few people looked at
Mark curiously he laughed and said that's Santana's nanny I shook my head
and said I'm her stepfather Greg nice to meet you all Mark turned red and barely
said goodbye to Santana I didn't think much of it outside Mark just being Mark
however Mark texted my wife later singing I human humiliated him and given
I'd likely never see those people again I shouldn't have said anything my wife
told him he's overreacting and then he then texted me saying I had no right to
correct him in his own home he asked what was the big deal in his family
thinking I'm her nanny am I the jerk 100 not the jerk you have every right to
correct somebody when they call you something that you're not it's not even
like op did it in a snarky or crappy way they didn't address anything the guy
said they just said I'm her stepfather Greg nice to meet you all literally the
most stand-up reply Opie possibly could have done I just feel bad for the dad
having such insecurity here also hi I'm Stephen and if you guys enjoy getting to
decide whether or not all of these people are jerks why not hit those like
And subscribe buttons down below that said our next story is am I the jerk
because I ate early we were on vacation with my husband's family we got here
Sunday afternoon and I was hungry I made food for myself and my son my husband
said to wait for his family so we could all have dinner together or maybe even
go out it was around four o'clock and he was saying we'd eat at seven I said I
was hungry and my son and I ate after that the three of us Sat by the pool his
family arrived around six and everyone was hungry and wanted to go out to eat I
don't know if it was the traveling or what but I was exhausted so I said I was
too tired and would go to bed early my son stayed home with me because he
wasn't hungry and wanted to stay I woke up early this morning and I made tea and
sat by the pool while my son played when
my sister-in-law woke up she came out to the pool and told me off for eating
early not going to dinner and being so standoffish she said everyone wanted to
see me and my son and I was being such a bench I said I was tired from traveling
she said if I forced myself to stay awake I'd be on the same schedule as
everyone else but since I went to bed early and woke up early I was going to
have the same excuse tonight she also told me off for not making breakfast
when I was the first to wake up but I didn't know when when everyone was going
to wake up and no one wants cold breakfast she just rolled her eyes and
walked away I feel like everyone's been standoffish to me all morning and I'm
wondering if I should apologize was I a jerk I just don't think LP was the jerk
in the situation they're just trying to manage as best as they can being super
jet-lagged honestly I can't blame them personally as I've gotten older it's
gotten to the point where when I get tired it's hard to tolerate just forcing
yourself to stay up when you are utterly tired all you want to do is just lay
down considering traveling can be a very zapping thing I'm willing to bet that
after a nice long night of rest even if they're gonna stay up later compared to
when they did the previous day they're probably going to be able to stand it a
bit more I think op was just unjustly being berated here our next story is am
I the jerk for asking if my daughter-in-law fell when I heard of her
miscarriage my son announced his wife's pregnancy at eight weeks after hearing
the heartbeat unfortunate at least she had a miscarriage around 10 weeks when
my son called me on the phone I was so shocked that I just blurted out why did
she fall she did not fall by the way I didn't realize I was on speakers during
that call and my daughter-in-law overheard my reaction when she got
pregnant again they didn't announce until well into the second trimester due
to my daughter-in-law ending a very unexpected C-section my son requested my
help to come over I cooked cleaned did laundry for them washed the baby Etc
despite all my hard work she was still very cold towards me and treated me
rather poorly I finally asked her why and she admitted that she was Furious
when I sounded very blaming when I asked if she fell that's why her previous
pregnancy ended in a miscarriage I told her that I asked if she fell not to
blame her in any sense but out of concern for her I said that I'm aware
there are other reasons that they occur as members of my immediate family have
suffered the same I was very sad to hear
the news all of us were so happy excited about our first pregnancy then the next
day heard the sad news we all called to speak to her directly and see how she
was but we're told she wasn't ready to speak we tried to give the space and
time she needed for the situation I don't think she believed me though am I
the jerk for asking if my daughter-in-law fell that's why she had
a miscarriage even if it's a thought that does come to your brain you should
really keep that to yourself because like op themselves said it could happen
for a variety of reasons maybe you could ask are you physically hurt why did she
fall if that gets back to her not only is she already going through a terribly
tough thing but is reminded of an earlier tough thing and also probably
gets put back in that mindset of if you have a miscarriage while you fall I
can't imagine how hard it would be not to blame yourself for that happening who
needs to be brought back into that mindset right now this next story is am
I the jerk for pre-gaming my wife's dinners my wife and I are both 32 since
we got married and moved in together five months ago my wife has simply not
made nearly enough food for me this is not a kind of situation where I'm
constantly agitated at her for incompetence or anything like that I
would be more than happy to microwave a burrito I would be more than happy to
whip up a peanut butter and jelly sandwich but I can't my wife has every
single night of our marriage done the same thing she'll make me a tiny dinner
I'm talking like a Chinese chicken salad with 30 grams of chicken and 10 leaves
of lettuce arranged fashionably with dressing when I finish eating I'm still
hungry because for a 230 pound man who works a physical labor job it's not
enough food at first I tried to openly communicate with her but she always took
it horribly she would adopt a thousand yard stare and then begin talking about
how incompetent she is and how she can't even make her husband a proper dinner I
try to calm her down with oh honey that's not the case I just eat too much
or don't worry about it I can make a bit more I'd try to be overwhelmingly
positive it never helped she would always just get incredibly disappointed
in herself cry and or take it out on me then she would make the exact same
amount the following day after the communication route failed I tried to
eat her dinners as is it became hard to sleep at night due to hunger and I lost
seven pounds in the first month eventually I figured out my own system
on my way home from work I started swinging by a fast food restaurant and
getting myself a burger I would basically pregame her meals with some
more calories I figured it was win-win as what she doesn't know can't hurt her
and I could have my fill of food I would
eat on my way home walk in the door pick at the salad or quinoa or homemade mac
and cheese she made compliment her for her delicious cooking and later dispose
of the rappers discreetly two days ago I was on my way home and in line at a
drive-through my mother in law was coming out of the restaurant she ran
over and greeted me I asked her in a humorous way not to tell her daughter
where she saw me because she'd take it badly and she agreed but then she
knocked on me anyway I got home to a furious wife who demanded details when I
provided the truth she got extremely angry and looked legitimately hurt I'm
not good at handling confrontation and I
feel like I betrayed my wife in some way was I wrong here this is definitely one
of those little things that you consider a small thing that builds up to be a
very big thing the more you do it without you realizing it if you stopped
there one time and fill up before the meal because you know it's gonna
probably be a hungry thing that's one thing but for you to adopt this practice
of stopping there every time on the way home and thinking that's the better
route rather than continued communication and Hands-On effort Island
Gopi was sorely mistaken what I would have liked to have seen is maybe op take
some time off or God forbid kid goes hungry for an extra hour or two and gets
hands on with them and helps make the meal and kind of shows them Hands-On how
much op wants to eat I mean what better way for them to properly learn how much
to make and how to make it our next story is am I the jerk for telling
someone that his achievement just meant that he had Rich parents I 23 year old
male have been with my current company for a year now recently a new guy Jack
joined our team fresh out of college last Friday my manager invited everyone
to a bar after work there Jack told everyone about an achievement that he
obtained over spring break he visited his 150th country Cambodia in contrast
to everyone else who were asking things such as what was the best worst
strangest thing you ate which countries were your favorite and any cool stories
I just said good for you and went back to my drink Jack noticed me being quiet
and asked me why I wasn't joining in I said don't worry about me but Jack kept
pressing the issue I finally said Jack visiting 150 countries is cool and all
but it doesn't say anything about you as a person it just means you had Rich
parents who could afford to travel internationally several times a year I
grew up poor literally worked my butt off in high school got a full ride merit
scholarship and did everything humanly possible to land my current six-figure
job rich people who think they're better
than everyone else just because they had
Rich parents is a huge pet peeve of mine but my co-workers didn't know any of
that since I like to keep work in my personal life as separated as possible
Jack got really quiet after that and left soon afterwards now it's Monday
morning and I'm wondering if I should have just kept my mouth shut honestly
having written this up and posted it out for people to see I hope Opie feels a
little bit ashamed of what they did so because this person is in a more
fortunate situation and they were able to visit these 150 countries they can't
talk about it they can't share that as a legitimate achievement op themselves
said rich people who think they're better than everyone else just because
they had Rich parents is a huge pet peeve was this guy going around flexing
that he was so much better than everybody else or were they sharing
their achievement with other people that they thought might be interested in
hearing about it I mean shoot if I visited 150 countries Rich parents or
not I'd want to tell people about it to be honest I think op was either just
extremely insecure or jealous here our next story is am I the jerk for refusing
to spend time with my stepsister backstory I'm 15 year old female my
parents divorced a year ago because my father cheated he married to the affair
girlfriend like instantly I think he's a complete jerk and told the judge I
wanted to live with my mom so I do but they still said I had to go to my
father's every other weekend I don't want to see him so I refuse to go at
first but it was stressing my mom out with court stuff I agreed to go as long
as his wife is totally hands off and I can stay in my room and not be bothered
except for one family activity of their choice so that's where we are every
other weekend my dad picks me up talks at me in the car because I won't talk to
him we go to Family Therapy where everyone but me talks I stay in my room
until sometime Saturday when I go out with them to do something fun and then
mostly stay in my room until my mom picks me up on Sunday I have plenty of
stuff to keep me busy so I'm fine but everyone else not so much a fair wife
has kids 12 year old female and nine-year-old male that would go to
their dads on my weekends so I never saw them but the schedule changed so now
they're there when I am the nine-year-old is fine he asks to borrow
a video game now and then but he's like polite about it and gives them back so
sure the 12 year old won't leave me the freak alone anytime I don't literally
have my door locked she's barging in trying to talk to me or wanting to do
something I tried to tell her to leave me alone in a nice way but last time I
just upped and told her I never want to talk to her and I'm going to ignore her
from now on she cried about it a fair wife got mad my father said she's having
a hard time with the divorce too and I shouldn't take it out on her I told him
he could stop forcing me to visit then and problem solved everyone is mad my
mom says she gets it but the 12 year old
probably is just looking for someone not her parents to talk to I just don't see
why it has to be me so this one is really tough because I know op
definitely has these hard set in feelings but it does sound like in all
consideration of things that the father is trying their best to have a
relationship with op and it is tricky because the 12 year old to me sounds
like somebody that could be maybe looking up to op or wanting to connect
with somebody like they said that isn't their parents I'm really conflicted here
because I don't want to Discount what Opie's going through in their feelings I
just feel like it's the kind of thing that maybe 10 years down the road they
look back on and think maybe they regret the way they acted I don't think Ops
wrong or their feelings at all personally I think something like a
personal individual therapy would be really good for op our next story is am
I the jerk for doing chores the way my husband suggested resulting in his stuff
being ruined I'll keep this short I work from home and make less than my husband
so I do more chores in general I'm fine with this but he never seems happy when
I'm done with the chores the pillows aren't fluffed enough on the couch or
the mopping is done wrong the worst is that he'll tell me to do the chores
wrong use boiling water when mopping we have fake floors it'll damage them use
the wire sponge on no stick pans and so on it drives me crazy so he made the
comment again about doing it his way and it'll be cleaner so today I did that
took his favorite pan and used the wire sponge to clean it I recorded it and yes
it scratched the thing up when he got home he flipped and we got into a huge
argument but my point was I was just doing it as he told me to he called me a
jerk and I'm doubting myself since I did
mess up a good pen I don't think Ops I'd write the jerk here I think you really
had two ways to go about this straight up refuse because you know it would ruin
that pan or ruin it and dig your heels into the dirt saying it's their fault
you just did it as they asked not ignoring the obvious though there's some
much more serious things than just a pan to work through here our next story is
am I the jerk for asking a girl I'm seeing about her period a girl I'm
seeing slept over the other night and when she was here stuff got a little
sexual she ended up saying that she was on her period no big deal I gave her a
back rub and we watched movies the rest of the night the next morning she was
getting ready to go home and I went to the bathroom and my garbage was empty
and I didn't see her get up a single time to change her pad or tampon so I
questioned her about it and told her if I made her uncomfortable when I was
making advances she could have just said
so and didn't need to lie about being on
her period She immediately got defensive
and said she has no reason to lie I told her I saw nothing that indicated she
changed her tampon or pad that night and if she left a tampon her pad and all
night in fear of leaving it in my garbage that I didn't care about that
and that I have sisters and understood the dangers of using the same one all
night she said she was aware and didn't need me to mansplain periods to her and
she called me weird and left she's blocked me on everything and this feels
very over dramatic I was just looking out for her am I the jerk I mean to say
what it is op straight up started with accusing her of not being on her period
and lying about it which is kind of a crappy thing to do to somebody and then
op shifts when they get an obvious negative reaction to that and then says
well you don't have to hide it from me I
know all about that stuff in a situation
like that I feel like it's impossible to want to open up about something that is
a sensitive topic for a lot of people whether or not she she was lying about
it op did kind of mansplain periods and how it's bad to leave stuff in overnight
I feel like most people in that situation are just going to politely
find a way to leave our next story is am I the jerk for excluding A co-worker
when I was giving a lift to others I have a weekend job at a warehouse where
most people can't afford cars they mainly rely on public transit which
isn't reliable when most of us ends our shift most of them used to walk five
miles to the train station or stay at work for a few more hours unpaid the
train station is literally on the way to my second job and house so I offer them
rides I drive an F-150 so the truck seats five people including myself three
to five people including myself usually clock out at two in the morning so I
drive everyone on my shift to the train station I don't mind my truck can fit
them all and it's fun to drive with others but there's this one woman I
don't care for that much she has a reputation for being lazy while everyone
would be working King she's usually in the office or outside speaking with a
supervisor who's into her I think she also never thanked me or even says
please it's like she's entitled to a free ride so all of us clock out at 2AM
I said out loud the names of the people and said come with me I'll drop you guys
off at the station as we're walking outside she comes up to me and says can
you drop me off I'll be ready in a few minutes I have to change my shoes I said
sorry but from now on I don't want to give you rides anymore you should ask
for a shift change she got a visibly upset and talked about how dangerous the
streets are and how I'm Petty for not giving her a ride I changed my tone and
said enough it's my truck you can find your own way home I'm not the city bus
caused a bit of a scene but my co-workers agreed with me it's my truck
I can choose who to let in I could understand being upset enough that this
person being a slack off at work or whatever but that doesn't justify
calling out loud like you're some Factory Foreman only these people are
allowed bonuses it just wasn't called for to call them out like that in front
of everybody and to be fair personally I think it's still kind of crappy even if
you don't like her because of her productivity at work to make them walk
five miles at 2 am in the dark our next story is am I the jerk for embarrassing
my cousin in front of everyone at my wedding I 28 year old male and my wife
29 year old female got married in may we had the wedding at this beautiful hotel
we had about 150 people attending I have one friend 29 year old male who has a
service dog and is in a wheelchair he was in an accident a few years ago and
is paralyzed from the waist his dog is always well behaved and nobody made a
fuss my cousin 32 year old female has a great dane that is untrained and nobody
in the family likes the dog I made it clear to her many times that the dog was
not welcome to the wedding well the day of the wedding she shows up late with
her dog on a leash my father and I were Furious us and told her to leave with
the dog she refused and then let the dog off the leash she promised he would be
on his best behavior he started jumping on people tried to play with my best
friend's service dog and overall was upsetting everyone there my cousin's
defense was that he's a therapy dog and she can't leave without him she then
pointed out that my friend brought a dog
to the wedding so it wasn't a big deal I started yelling at her that there was a
huge difference between a well-trained service dog and her dog everyone was
staring at us at this point and she grabbed her dog and left crying my aunt
approached me after that wedding that I didn't have to embarrass my cousin like
that and she was struggling with mental health I explained that I told her many
times before the wedding that the dog was not welcome my cousin's now trying
to paint me as the bad guy she sent me multiple messages demanding an apology
am I the jerk for embarrassing my cousin in front of everyone at my wedding if
you were well aware that this dog is not a properly trained service animal and
it's mostly a for show thing you know somebody's saying I have to take my
service animal everywhere with me but it's not actually true then yeah I don't
think you're the jerk for saying don't bring this dog I think it would have
been more than fair for Opie to say don't bring the dog if you want to bring
the dog literally do not come that would have been totally fair and how hope he
acted was totally fair especially considering they're a Great Dane too on
top of all that our next story is am I the jerk for ordering from the kids menu
I female23 can't eat much I see people eat a whole pizza by themselves hold
dinner plates all by themselves their burger and sides all by themselves I
can't I eat multiple meals a day not just three I'll take smaller portions
and maybe eat four to five times a day I went to a new restaurant not fancy with
my boyfriend and wanted something that they served in the regular adult menu
but they also had a smaller kids portion it was cheaper too you and there was no
age limit listed on the menu so I went ahead and ordered that when the server
came she told me that it wasn't fair for me to order from the kids menu because
I'm clearly not a kid and the price is cheaper therefore their 20 tip would be
less I asked her to show me where the age limit was listed and she couldn't
because there was none if there was I would have skipped out on it and ordered
the regular size she clearly just wanted a bigger tip so we left zero dollars
just because of her attitude towards me am I the jerk yeah I'm sorry I don't
care if this affects what anybody thinks of me but if you're coming to me
complaining that somebody at my table ordered a kids menu because they
legitimately cannot eat a full adult-sized meal and you as the waiter
or waitress without even knowing that start complaining because you're not
going to get a bigger tip I'm definitely leaving nothing am I wrong for that is
Opie wrong because they left nothing for the server after that our next story is
am I the jerk for taking my daughter's paycheck for the whole summer my
daughter 16 caused a huge amount of damage to the family car around may it
was 100 her fault since she was texting while driving and went off the curb she
was fine but the wheels and axles got messed up badly it would cost about 3
000 to get it fixed luckily our insurance covered that even though our
rates did go up so the car got fixed up my wife and I decided that she needed to
pay it back as a punishment so we had her get a job fast food and have been
collecting her money after every pay period this got back to my sister and
she blew up on me about stealing from our kid and called me a jerk I need an
outside opinion the money we're taking goes into her College account her
paychecks are pocket change to what me and my wife bring in we don't need it
we're doing it as a lesson and that's it considering you're not actually just
keeping it for yourself and it's all going to a college fund it's not too bad
but honestly I would like to see maybe a little portion of it still stick with
the water just if anything to show that you can work for some money I mean at
the end of the day I think she totally does have to pay something back for what
she's done and it does help her kind of learn some ramifications for what a
horrendous mistake she made she is still working a fast food job she probably
does deserve some kind of income from it even if it's pocket change from her
pocket change this next story is am I the jerk for outing my best friend of 10
plus years for a lie I female 27 have been best friends with this person for
10 plus years recently I found out that she's been lying to me for two years
about being pregnant and having a baby this friend would tell me for the last
year and a half how her daughter's father has kept her from her child of
course as a good friend I wanted to help her I agreed recently to take her to go
get her child from him I drove two hours
to pick her up the night before and then
took her the next day to get her child I
drove her three hours from where I lived we'd arrived at 2 46 PM when we got
there she said she needed a minute to herself and wanted to go walk around so
I sat in my car by myself while she did that around 3 30 PM I texted her and
asked what time he would be there and she told me he got off at 4 30 p.m I
agreed to wait after waiting for about an hour I had texted her again and asked
what time he would be there she told me 6 p.m at 601 PM she texted me and said
he would be there at 6 45 PM I'd eventually texted her at 6 40 pm and
told her if he wasn't there at 7 pm I would be leaving at 7 01 PM she texts me
and says that he's going to take her to her daughter which I thought was a
little strange I tried to call her and she didn't answer so I texted her and
let her know I would be leaving regardless I waited until 7 20 pm to
leave and she never said anything to me at all she didn't text me until 11 pm
well before I had received a text from her her I ended up reaching out to her
mom to see if she had spoken to her this is where it got interesting her mom had
informed me that she's never had a child well I was convinced that I didn't know
what was true so I decided my only point
of contact between me and her daughter's father was his ex-girlfriend so I
messaged the ex on Instagram this axis helped me out so much my best friend was
extremely ticked that I reached out to her mom and the ex-girlfriend my best
friend finally decided that she was going to come clean and tell the truth
that there has never been a baby I even tried to confront her about it after her
mom had told me there was no baby and she refused to answer the question I was
so ticked and upset also let me add in that she told me I'm a bad friend
because I left her four hours away from her house and in a strange town but am I
the jerk for doing my own investigating edit here's the timeline of our
friendship let me clear a couple of things up we started being friend in
2012 she moved two hours away in 2020 in 2020 I got pregnant with my son I've
been a full-time single mom I stayed in contact with her through FaceTime and
I've only seen her in person three times from the time she moved to current
during her pregnancy I didn't see her because she used covid as an excuse
which I respected because I had a coveted baby well in May of 2021 she
sends me a picture and says she's had her baby she tells me on FaceTime one
day that she let her daughter's father take the baby because she was depressed
well when she reached out to me on Thursday she said he was trying to take
her daughter from her for good and get her rights taken away so I agreed on
Friday to take her to get her daughter and that's when this crap show happened
I hope this helps a little more also I'll add that maybe I was blinded by
things because she told me things I could relate to the other part is where
she didn't want to post her because she didn't want the world to see her
daughter to clarify the picture of the baby was was her cousin's baby I don't
know anyone on her dad's side also definitely not the jerk and the thing
I'm the most confused about is what was actually going on this whole time did op
just take her to her hookup like was she just having like a good old night out
and hoping op would wait around as like their retained cab driver I don't know
about op but I would be so torn up and twisted over this whole thing that like
I would begin retracing the last 10 years of our friendship and trying to
figure out what was true and what was a lie if they were willing to put this lie
up for 10 years what else total BS falsehood stuff is gone on I don't even
know if it's worth trying to talk to the mom or the ex anymore just cut them all
off and leave that whole thing behind in my opinion but with that being said
that's all the time we have for today now if you want to hear another
absolutely crazy am I the jerk here story check out that video on the left
or if you missed my latest video check out that video on the right that said
I'll see you all next time with some more stories | give me a good story on rAITAISTOLEALLOFMYDAUGHTERSMONEYRedditStoriesorig |
|
new update aita if I say no to allowing my husband's daughter to come live with
us full-time original post April 10th 2024 I have been married to my husband
for 6 years we have two kids together 8m and 4m our youngest is special needs my
husband also has a daughter 12 from his previous relationship my husband's ex
has had primary custody my husband gets SD on weekends and alternating holidays
SLB birthdays this past weekend my SD asked my husband if she can come live
with him full-time her mom recently moved in with her fiance and his kids
and there has been some friction with that from what I understand nothing
nefarious just new house new rules having to share a bedroom Etc my husband
didn't give her an answer either way he said he would look into it when he and I
were discussing it I had the following objections SD and our kids do not get
along it is something we have worked on for years in and out of therapy and it
just ain't happening SD resents mine for existing and is cruel towards my | give me a good story on orig |
|
aita for refusing to turn my home office
into a room for my oldest daughter I am a father to three kids 9M 11f and 15f
our family is moving into a four-bedroom house in the upcoming week since my job
requires me to work from home two days a week I'm planning to turn one room into
an shared home officejim this leaves a room for my wife and I one for my son
and one for the girls to share the issue is that my oldest daughter 15f is
refusing to share a room with her sister
she is demanding her own room and argues that a teenager deserves privacy and
that it's not fair her brother who is the youngest gets his own room while as
the oldest she does I understand her frustrations but it's inappropriate for
siblings of the opposite gender to share
a room and if she gets her own room then
that leaves me without a home off when I explained to her that there is nothing
we can do and that she will have to accept this living arrangement she
accused me of favoritism and misogyny which is not true and is refusing to
speak to me my wife is on her side and says she is too old to be sharing a room
with a tween my daughters have always shared a room so my oldest will adjust
very quickly and it is important for me to have a dedicated work space for my
job aita | give me a good story on AITAforrefusingtoturnmyhomeofficeintoaroomformyoldestdaughteraita |
|
people who got fired for the stupidest reason what happened I started working
in a place a month or so ago and at first it all seemed cool it was an
outside bar and my job was primarily at the Pizza Station stretching and shaping
the dough topping slicing and garnishing as well as taking the pizzas to the
customers most of the time on top of that I did seem to lend my time to the
other stations like the bar and floor whenever I could as they were at times
very unstaffed that and the incompetent management made it unbearable the event
that led to me getting the sack well one
day I accidentally read the wrong number on a ticket indicating the table number
my bad not something that happens often it didn't help the table I took the
pizzas to by mistake accepted them even though they didn't order any pizzas
between the three of them it was only when I took a third and final Pizza that
they questioned whether the third pizza was there as well already tucking into
the first two I thought nothing of it and carried on 30 minutes pass and the
table that was meant to get the pizzas Flags it up and re realize the situation
immediately he bang out the missing pizzas in minutes I personally go and
apologize to the table and the table that accepted the pizza agreed to pay
for them at this point I didn't see any further problems everybody had a happy
ending I misread the ticket I knew what I had done and to be honest I felt
pretty stupid for it what didn't need to happen is that the supervisor is a
middle-aged woman trying desperately to grasp onto relevance by budding in
conversations and trying to W up everything you say but also being super
insecure about her Authority so stamping her feet to enforce it when it simply
isn't necessary to come over and make a scene she runs over after everything is
sorted and Rambles on listen calm down read yes super loud super condescending
in front of a full Garden of customers I didn't know what to say at first so I
sort of just did the thing where you kind of just laugh to fill the silence
and said okay but she didn't think I was taking it seriously enough bearing in
mind at this point I'd estimated delivering almost a thousand individual
pizzas to their correct tables and not made a single mistake to me it very much
seemed like this woman was making stupid mistakes every day she comes back
moments later slightly more frustrated and is still talking to me like a child
I respond calmly and say that I'd prefer if she didn't talk to me like she just
did in front of the customer she storms off again at this point I'm
cooking a pizza and she's getting extremely aggressive showing teeth very
animated turned to be intimidating I stick to what I said disagreeing with
her notion that she's my boss and can pull me up for something if necessary
but my point was that it wasn't I tried to argue this but before long I realized
my attention has been diverted from the pizza oven for too long and the pizza I
was cooking has started to catch fire rendering it useless I'm visibly annoyed
at this because it's a waste of product in my time again she storms off now
before long she's back at the absolute peak of anger making an absolute scene
for the sake of her ego I simply say I think she should have this chat after
service don't you looking at her dead in the eyes knowing that I would be
quitting or fired before I got the chance she had such an emotional
reaction that she had to go and sit in the dark room for 10 minutes leaving the
floor so only one person was seated in taking out drinks they sent me home and
asked me to come in for an interview about it the next day I never returned
story two I had a manager write me up for not attending a meeting that she
scheduled on a Sunday night because I was out of town I'd ran my request in
the calendar she used for time off and she approved it in writing in the
calendar I got back from my mini vacation to find they' implemented a few
new practices that I wasn't aware of called another store to see if someone
could explain one to me and got a snotty if you hadn't skipped the meeting last
Sunday you'd know followed by a hang up in my ear I went to the office looked
through a few papers on the desk to see if any instructions were there and found
those along with a write up for an unexcused absence for the meeting I
immediately took a picture of that took a picture of the calendar still hanging
on the wall that showed my request along with the approval and ated when the
manager showed up along with the district manager I was called into the
back room the office was too small for three people and read the riot act for
skipping the meeting I was presented with a write up which I refused to sign
when the district manager asked why I wasn't going to sign it I showed her the
photo of the calendar that had the approval written on it the manager went
and got the calendar which now had convenient wide out marks on it and said
she'd revoked my permission two weeks earlier when the meeting had been
scheduled I then showed the district manager the timestamp for the photo 2
hours earlier I was sent back to the sales floor while the manager and
district manager spoke a short time later I was called back in when I
received the crappiest apologies I'd ever heard a few months later the
manager left the HR file drawer open and since there were no cameras in the
office I looked at my file the writeup was in there along with the worst
forgery of my signature ever I of course
took a picture of it and when I left the
company for good a few months later on 4 hours notice I included that picture
with the email I sent to every major office in the company detailing all the
cruelty and misbehavior of the store manager and district manager that
company was dissolved by the parent company a couple of years later and and
while I don't know what the district manager is doing I know the manager is
working for a card company as an assistant manager at a much lower salary
Story three I got fired for taking time off when my first son was born yes for
the birth of my son I took a job at this place after my last place notified us
the day before Christmas that we weren't coming back after Christmas yes o my
wife was pregnant when I took this new job I notified them during the interview
that I would need time off four months down the road for the birth of my son I
reminded them at least twice a month no problem no problem they said two months
in they gave me a nice raise after seeing me consistently pull 140%
productivity over their usually highest productive staff with no safety
violations 3 months in they start laying
the night shift off despite being in the middle of a large building expansion I
started working 12-hour shifts which often included 16 to 20 hour shifts to
cover the staff they let go of I kept reminding them I would need time off no
problem no problem they said the time was near I reminded them yet again a few
weeks prior they said if I took the time off I would be let go I told them that
should have thought of that before laying everyone else off my son was born
I took one day off for the birth one single day I called in several hours
before my shift the day I returned I was
ready to work the manager sat me down he told me his boss said he had to let me
go because I to fight orders not to call in you're lost I said he tried to
apologize I told him not to apologize because I knew he didn't mean it I
wasn't going to let him soothe his guilt
either didn't communicate to his boss or
he didn't care to defend my position the Silver Lining I got to collect un
employment for 6 months while I spent time with with my firstborn son I also
made sure to thank the company on numerous occasions for it they tried to
deny unemployment too I wanted the appeal because they had a bad track
record of automatically denying unemployment requests and losing their
appeals story four I worked for one week
at a locally owned coffee shop as a teen during my interview it was obvious that
the owners the manager interviewing me and the staff were very religious I
didn't grow up in a religious household but it didn't bother me at all to be
around devout Christians I was a very pppy good girl type so people assumed I
was a Conservative Christian anyway anyway I was prepping some stuff in the
back on a busy weekend and a couple co-workers were talking about mission
trips I didn't have everything to add so I didn't join in the conversation right
away one of them turned to me and asked me if I ever went on a mission trip and
I responded that I never went on one but
they seemed pretty interesting they told me that it's easy just go to my church
and see what programs they offer I responded that unfortunately I don't
have a church I've never been to church before they were like oh okay then no
worries I went back to their conversation the manager overheard the
conversation and called me into her office she fired me on the spot saying I
didn't fit in I didn't give any further explanation or examples of what I did
wrong I was devastated because I had no idea what she was talking about I knew
she was a bit of a nut though in my week of being there she'd say stuff like oh
you're planning on going to a liberal arts college I tried that once but I
couldn't stand the professors that forc their views of evolution onto their
students did you know Darwin retracted his theory in his deathbed that's how I
know it's false but she's the manager so all I did was smile and Nod to those
thinking you should have sued her reported them yeah I was 17 and didn't
even know that type of discrimination was illegal Story five I was in college
and waitressing at a restaurant that was open all night the manager refused to
make the schedule so that those of us in college would only work the all nighter
on days we didn't have class the next morning it didn't give a damn if you had
class or not he would still give you an all nighter on one such schedule he gave
me two all nighters in a row on the days
I had 8: a.m. classes my shift was
to 6 so I would get home just in time to
shower and go to class so I worked to 6:00 went to class from 8:00 to 9:00
then 11: to1 and then went home to study eat and try to catch a nap that night
back for another 11: to 6 shift home to shower and go to class at 8 I had a
break in class from 8:00 to 1: to eat and study then we had a 3-hour lab from
1:00 to 4:00 I went home studied ate and fell asleep at about 6:30 or 7 I didn't
wake up until because I'd slept through my alarm I called and said I was
on my way and I was sorry I was late but I'd not slept more than 6 to 7 hours in
the last 48 hours and I'd overslept the manager fired me over the phone for
using lack of sleep as a reason to miss a shift and he was tired of listening to
us College kidss whine about all nighter I had never complained once about my
overnight shifts and had never been late not once in my six months of working
there it started in May and was fired right near Christmas it turned out he
found an excuse to fire every single college kid that work there and that
left him with only four waitresses and a
scramble to find new ones however a huge portion of the workforce was made up of
college kids and word had gone around so that he had to settle for really old
ladies who refused to work overnight and only four waitresses that would it
sucked to be him hey there see seems like we're already halfway through if
you've been enjoying these outrageous stories about the workplace like And
subscribe for more related content story six I worked at Best Buy in the mid90s
when I was 16 I worked selling computers
and I was pretty good at it we also sold things like memory and hard drives that
were behind lock and key part of our job was to take the tagged inventory from
the trucks and put it on the shelves this included said memory so I closed
one night put away all the new inventory lock it up and hand the keys to the
manager they do their checks in our department and we leave for the night
the next day scheduled I go in and the loss prevention manager says he has me
on video stealing memory I laughed and said show me the video well I'm somewhat
tall have red hair and I'm white the video he shows me is an older very short
white guy with a shaved head he told me that it was me and that I was fired and
he only showed me the video once and immediately turned off the monitor being
16 it didn't know any better I said some
things on my way out and I left it turns out the Lost prevention guy and his son
were stealing for years to the tune of over $250,000 and the guy in the video
he showed me was his son any time problems popped up with missing
inventory they just fired a random person to keep the attention away from
themselves when the police arrested them their house was loaded with televisions
computers and everything from the store story seven I worked at this hotel doing
afternoon and evening shifts and two overnight shifts a week they listed the
following reasons for letting me go I claimed I was leaving property without
clocking out because I wasn't on camera the entire time the date they said
specifically was an evening that I spent
cleaning up the meeting space because it was slow I was also not the only front
desk person on shift when working overnight I would sit in a chair to do
the audit from Midnight to 3:00 a.m. sitting on a chair at the front desk was
not allowed even at midnight or early in the morning also when working overnight
I had to fold linen so I could listen to the radio or music through a Bluetooth
headset while folding and cleaning up the back that was also not allowed even
at midnight or early in the morning they honestly probably just didn't like me
but after they fired me I went and got a new job at the hotel next door started
making a lot more money and was able to do all the things I was let go of story8
in my first ever proper job I was a Christmas Tempa goes I got fired for not
being able to hit the completely ridiculous sales targets they set for me
with zero training 20% of the sales I made had to be from the insurance we
offered in appliances the fact that I had zero training in their stupidly
complicated tail system tough crab if he
only sold toys cables and batteries that day tough crap the fact that the
insurance we offered was worthless crap especially when compared to the warranty
larger items came with plus the fact most people of Home Insurance tough crap
the manager was a raging witch and would pull me into her office every couple of
days to tell me how much of a pathetic disappointment I was after about 2
months of my four-month contract she fired me claiming I was one of the
biggest letdowns she'd made in hiring I later found out that number one regular
permanent staff were not scolded or punished for not hitting the crazy high
Target but celebrated if they did number two the store was about to close down
the manager had been deliberately picking on me in the hopes I would quit
and when it didn't quit she fired me because if she hadn't she would have
been obliged to find me a new position in another store and she couldn't be
bothered because I was a teenage temp basically she was just a lazy Nast woman
who made it my problem that's the worst job I've ever had to this day and it
knocked my confidence for a while everything does when you're a teen but I
still thank that ugly bag of bones every
day for a very important life lesson 99% of companies don't care about staff and
99% of managers will happily mess you up
to make their life a little easier story nine I worked for a professional moving
company I can't slander or name drop for another year as per my signed contract
and fortunately I got a concussion on the job through no fault of my own the
person who loaded the truck booby trapped it accidentally essentially they
loaded the truck up as we were unloading it no one knew what was behind these
towers mattresses hutches Etc as we moved a mattress its metal bed frame
slats fell and hit me in the head giving me a concussion and Whiplash none of my
co-workers were the most wonderful part of that job thought it was funny the
managers however did I was ridiculed for getting a concussion the subsequent
constant sickness from it and the constant pain in my neck they joked
about me behind my back to my co-workers who subsequently told me I said things
when I had gone the concussion initially that were stupid and incoherent which I
did not I was going to a chiropractor to
help alleviate some of the tension in my neck appointments they knew about and I
was told that because I was leaving work 15 minutes early to make it to an
appointment like it had been going to for weeks I was receiving an unexcused
absence from work so the next day I was called seven times wondering where I was
for my shift I said Oh I thought you might have been confused about what an
unexcused absence is so I'm showing you right now they did not like that Ma
karma is a witch because the manager who
made fun of me had a stroke and the boss of the company who issued me the
unexcused absence got a pretty nasty flu along with his wife I still have neck
problems to this day story 10 this happened 3 weeks ago I was a project
manager for residential home builder new to the area the company was from a
different state I'm the first pm to build the first houses for the division
naturally they make a lot of changes from the original plan set it's pretty
common that either the plans don't shake out in the field as they do on paper or
that the design team wants to change things anyway it happens but all those
changes impact the schedule rework or replace things material changes with a
back order Etc my direct boss has been giving me positive feedback for the last
year I managed more projects in square footage than the other two PMS combined
yeah we all get paid nearly the same but in my annual performance review the EVP
of Ops gives me my review instead of that of my direct boss which he didn't
do for the other 2 PMs and tells me that I'm slower than the other 2 PMS because
I went first and I'm the one to discover the issues with the houses then I tell
the other 2 PMS how to avoid those issues and setbacks that now I'm under
the gun many of the reasons lists are literally made up not real or so
immaterial that it question his competence I tell him I'm shocked and
have no idea what he's talking about I can prove it to him with emails and text
messages he disagrees 3 weeks later I show up to the side and I'm working and
he has my new boss fire me pretty much everyone is shocked and confused as to
what happened I just got another offer a
couple of days ago from a better company with the same pay working on better
projects story 11 during my senior year of high school I was working at
McDonald's it was right after Christmas and we were really busy I'd been there
for 4 hours had two to go and was supposed to get a 30-minute break since
we'd slowed down asked if I could have a break the shift manager said no one was
getting breaks I said thanks a lot and she told the assistant manager that I
told her to get off he fired me on the spot wouldn't even let me give my side
of the story a week later I was working a Jack In The Box I was a shift manager
for 6 months did that through a couple years of college dropped out never
wanted to go anyway moved up to a system manager and then a couple years later a
general manager I remember how crappy I was treated at McDonald's and made sure
I treated my employees well had the third lowest turnover rate in a 95
restaurant region had the second highest average hourly pay and had a number two
profit Improvement take care of your people and they'll do the same for you
thanks for joining me on these unbelievable tales about crappy
management if you'd like to dive into the flip side watch what's the fastest
way you've seen someone get fired Story 3 is just bizarre see you there | give me a good story on STUPIDThingsThatWILLGetYouFIRED |
|
AIT for accidentally dead naming my sister after she slammed the door on my
5-year-old son I M31 and my husband m30 recently adopted our son M5 7 months ago
my sister f19 stays with us because of our parents lack of support towards her
transition and because I live closest to her University out of all our siblings
my sister Kora fake name is a trans woman and recently come out to us all
two months ago and has been living with me since my son jack has been struggling
to remember all our siblings and my husband's family memb name so we've been
showing him family videos and pictures of us from holidays and such when we
were younger and since Kora lives with us Jack must have noticed the name we
used to call Kora before she transitioned and learned to say it two
days ago Kora came back for the weekend and Jack called her by her dead name
Kora was extremely upset and walked away from him jack followed after her to her
room and was about to enter when she slammed the door on him and it caught
his finger I was in my study doing my work when I heard him scream I was up
and out looking for him when I saw Kora holding his hands and trying to console
him he was bleeding in his NE | give me a good story on AITAforaccidentallydeadnamingmysisteraftersheslammedthedooronmyyearoldsonorig |
|
aita for telling my wife she's a childish horrible human being for not
wanting my family to come over to our home after my mother's celebration of
life my wife 37f and I am 39m built a new home and moved into a really nice
neighborhood about 7 months ago she's a stay-at-home mom we have three kids
she's white and I'm Mexican both were born in Dallas Texas we both are from
the same suburb and we met After High School she loved my family and my family
loved her when we first got together she was 17 and I was 19 her mom and dad
kicked her out because they didn't want her to date another person of A
different race it's all good now her parents admitted they were wrong and I
love her parents and they love me and are children at that time I was living
at my parents still had my own job car and paid rent my parents heard of her
getting kicked out and they offered for her to move in with us rentree my mother
and father loved her and took her in as one of their own I have three sisters
who were all married at the time and we were always hanging out with my family
at one of my sister's houses or my parents house we were always together
and everyone got along as time went by I started to make more money and we were
able to buy our first house together and finally moved out after living with my
parents for almost 4 years we had our first child a son a year later which is
when her parents finally accepted me and then our twin daughters 5 years after
that right | give me a good story on AITAfortellingmywifeshesachildishhorriblehumanbeingfornotwantingmyfamilytocome |
|
when has a parent come crawling back for
help after destroying your life I lived with my single mother since I was 14. my
parents divorced after years of fights and arguments that I soon became
accustomed to it got to the point that I thought all families were like this
after the divorce my father moved away to France and from what I heard started
a new life and family over there I on the other hand stayed with my mother who
remarried again this time to a rich and successful businessman with two grown-up
children twins who were two years older than me we moved to their house which
was this large and expensive looking mansion with a lot of rooms with tons of
artifacts for Decor that only rich people have in their house you would
think my life would become better now that I'm living in wealth but it was the
exact opposite in every day I wish that I had gone with my Dad instead my mother
was negligent to the point that sometimes we wouldn't see for days and
she would probably forget that she had a daughter all she cared about was going
to Elite events with her husband wearing expensive clothes and just swimming in
money it was only about the money meanwhile I was approaching my sophomore
years in high school as this awkward and
lonely girl with no real friends who got bullied constantly and was suffering
from depression and anorexia nervosa and
it was so obvious but somehow no one not even my mother saw this life with my
step siblings wasn't good either my stepsister Jane took pleasure in
humiliating me and constant reminding me that I'm not of their class and my
mother is just another gold digging she would trip me push me shove me and when
I tried to complain my mother would take her side and shush me what are you
trying to do you want to end this good life for us that's what she always said
when she's the one with the good life my stepbrother Jake didn't really do much
to me he mostly ignored me like I didn't exist which I was grateful for but none
of them cared the only person who cared that I regret ever listening to was my
stepfather's brother I'll call him Isaac Isaac was this always smiling typical
Playboy who was oddly interested in me for some reason he would come around
often try to sit with me talk to me and it was really uncomfortable he promised
that he cared about my well-being and he was going to talk to my mother about my
eating disorder and what I was going through it was that promise that kept me
close to him because I really needed help when my mother was ignoring me she
believed that as long as I got allowances she gave me every month I
would be okay I was in the 12th grade when my mother and her husband
celebrated their five-year anniversary at the house by that time Jane and Jake
were at Cambridge already and they weren't home since it was in the middle
of the semester this meant I was the only kid in that house it was that day
that Isaac lured me to a guest room on the pretense of wanting to talk to me
about how I was doing and then he has saved me I honestly don't remember what
happened it was mostly several times he did it to me and left me there as I
slipped into unconsciousness from the shock when I woke up I was in my room
and my mother was sitting next to me looking at me with a slightly worried
expression that I've never seen from her before she knew I know she knew what
happened because she changed my clothes and asked if I was okay that moment I
cried and threw myself in her arms and told her everything she patted my head
and told me it would be fine then reached behind her and brought out a new
dress and told me to hurry up and wear it so we could go outside for a family
photo my stepfather was waiting I couldn't believe what she said to me or
how she was acting I had just got an essayed and she was more worried about
keeping faith than my health I tried to struggle but I was too weak she made me
wear the dress and go downstairs to take the pictures with them throughout the
whole ordeal I was crying and my mom was
constantly telling me to smile clean the
tears and look normal the aching between my legs made them wobble as I tried to
stand everything hurt and I felt like I was going to fall soon my mother was
there even standing with Isaac and faking Smiles around there were a lot of
people and it was like a huge event soon it was time for me to give a speech for
my parents and immediately as I stepped on that stage my eyes caught Isaac
smiling once and I just let go I screamed about what happened to me about
me being S8 and about my mother not even caring enough I was going to go all out
to everyone there if I had not been pulled away by the help and then by my
mother and dragged into the house immediately we were out of sight she
slapped me right across the face she yelled that I didn't know what I had
done she kept talking about what people would say the things she kept saying the
most was about her husband and how she didn't want him to get upset I honestly
could not believe my mother was acting this way as she scolded me my stepfather
walked in angrily and grabbed me by the front of my dress when I tell you that
this man beat me he beat me up in front of my mother and she just looked away he
punched and slapped and after I had bruises all over me he told me to pack
my bags and get out he said I was a
lying and manipulative [ __ ] who was
never content with a good life and was looking for a way to bring him down by
using his innocent brother that evening after everyone left I was kicked out I
was homeless and went from shelter to shelter just to be able to rest my head
and get something to eat I barely managed to graduate from high school but
I did my mother had my phone number but she never called not even once after
weeks I got a job at a fast food joint and managed to save enough for
registration fees to apply to colleges my co-workers and boss were kind to me
and offered a little support and I was allowed to sleep in the back room of the
fast food joint after I almost got assaulted again at the shelter and made
it out with a black eye I studied hard and took extra jobs just to survive and
luckily for me I got accepted into the University of Chicago on a full
scholarship Grant and financial aid I took all I had and bought a flight
ticket to get there it was hard but I managed when I got there I took on
campus jobs to be able to keep myself and was managing quite well I tried to
forget about my past my mother and about everything I had gone through and
focused on building myself I went to the
free therapy classes and it was good for me I even began the Journey of tackling
my eating disorder little by little it was during my last semester as a
sophomore that I ran into Jake it was a surprise especially for him he did not
expect to see me there and invited me for coffee strange but I agreed it had
been three years since and he heard what had happened when he went home last and
he was very sorry that I went through that I couldn't believe that he wasn't
on his father's side I guess Jake wasn't
that bad of a person anyway Jake told me a lot of things he told me how his
sister got into an accident during the past year and had been confined to a
hospital ever since in a wheelchair he said his father's business is depleting
and he had gotten divorced from my mother he also told me that he had left
that family for good after graduating and was starting his life here in
Chicago the only person he would keep contact with is his sister I couldn't
believe it honestly all this happening Jake apologized a lot for everything and
believe me I held no grudge against him he took my phone number and we agreed to
have lunch in a few days when the time came we had lunch but we were not alone
Jake had brought his friend Thomas a year older than me along Thomas was a
practicing psychologist and Jake had asked him to help me with free therapy
sessions so I can tackle my disorder and Trauma once and for all in this way I
began to see Jake as a brother we had both matured and I was grateful for his
help I had also become really close to Thomas and soon enough we began dating
Jane my stepsister passed away sadly after a few months of struggling I
couldn't attend the funeral because I didn't want to see anyone from that
family including my mother and Jake understood I worked hard at school and
graduated with a degree in finance it was then that Thomas proposed to me and
I accepted we got married soon after and Jake was the best man his own fiancee a
very lovely girl was my bridesmaid as a wedding present Thomas did the
unimaginable he managed to track down my father and flew him in from France for
the reception I couldn't believe it I was in tears that day and I helped him
harder than I ever could when I saw him turns out he had been trying to reach me
all these years but my mother did not allow it I got to meet his family and
his lovely wife I was happy in content after so many years and was glad for all
the good people in my life Thomas and I bought a house close to Jake and he and
his fiancee helped set up it only took a few days and soon it was done one of
those days Thomas and Jake went to town and I was left alone at home with Jake's
fiancee I was a few months pregnant at this time and she insisted on helping
around the house we were both in the kitchen when the doorbell rang and I
went to go check it right before me looking extremely disheveled was my
mother I was shocked and could not talk for a few minutes I couldn't believe
this she tried to hug me but I moved away from her the anger of all the years
returned to me as I stared at her she sobbed at my doorstep and begged me to
forgive her telling me how her husband divorced her and she got kicked out with
nothing and she's been struggling since and she was homeless and had nowhere to
go until she heard I was doing well and looked for me not once did this woman
try to apologize for everything she did to me and what happened to me she was as
selfish as usual and only came because she needed something when she asked to
stay at my house I laughed hard she was Shameless she was selfish I told her
everything I had in my mind that I'm glad Karma has caught up with her and
her husband and soon enough Isaac I told her she was not part of my life that
only included my husband our unborn child my brother and a soon-to-be wife
and my father she was just a stranger that I wanted to leave my property
immediately can you believe she tried to
turn it around and call me an ungrateful daughter when she refused to leave I
called the police and watched them drag her away far away from me | give me a good story on Whenhasaparentcomecrawlingbackforhelpafterdestroyingyourlife |
|
my abusive andc mother returned for my daughter this time and falsely claimed I
abused her grandchild so I ruined her whole life for what it's worth there is
a long history here Mom was abusive in fact her entire family is that way all
super judgmental Hypocrites as well they like to point out everything that's
wrong with you to draw attention away from what they see wrong in themselves
the whole family is like this where they
never accept any fault or blame and will therefore never take responsibility for
anything mom was very abusive growing up and as a
result all three of us myself my little brother and my big sister all battled
with some form of mental Fallout I'm the only one that's been to a therapist and
been properly diagnosed the other two are working their way up to it but
they're very similar to me minus the issue I have with guilt I have been
trying to heal and to create a healthier relationship with my mom she's trying
but she slips up from time to time I built her website for free that was like
pulling teeth and my FH designed her a beautiful email
signature using mandrel we sent her a draft for approval 6 weeks ago that's 6
weeks of me going are there any changes you need done or are you happy with them
and can we go ahead and add them to your email now or do you want anything to be
changed there was literally no response this morning on a Sunday of all days I
get a shtt email from her you guys were asked to do something as simple as
getting me an email signature ignoring the fact that it's free but okay and it
has been months and I have received nothing is this how you run your
business I am so disappointed and I feel taken advantage of because I am family
treat me like any customer and just do what I ask so I sent her an invoice for
r950 like I would any customer as well as terms conditions and requirements I
am so effing done with being nice all the time my big sister and I have been
cleaning up her messes our whole lives my little brother has issues with anger
because of her I gave her a fantastic website design
for free that was worth tens of thousands and it's never good enough
mind you the process in itself is a whole other post but I'll cover the gist
of it here our usual turnaround time on even the most complex websites is about
4 6 weeks depending on the client sometimes they can't make up their minds
sometimes there's bugs sometimes they change logos or content halfway through
but this is the longest we've ever taken
it was 6 weeks Max mom's website took an entire year it was a painful experience
and a lot of us asked for the necessary things like content she was abusive
through the whole process until I grew a
spine and told her straight to f off and go pay someone because I'm not working
for free and taking abuse for it I pushed the shty website we had managed
to pull together I say shty because we had zero content and it was mainly
filler text and stock images which is normal in the beginning stages as we use
these as an example for the clients in order to get a proper sort of look at
the layout and function of their website
before we pretty it up and polish it off in this case we used stock images and
filler text and made it look stunning once the website was live suddenly
things started happening on her side which is what I expected and it's also
why I pushed it live before it was ready otherwise it would have gone on for
another year bearing in mind that the entire year we were asking her for
content and sending her drafts for approval and we got no response but
she'd send random abusive text days and weeks later asking for her website I
started to believe she was genuinely crazy the website still isn't 100% but
it's much better than it was so back to the email I respond with the invoice and
she calls me to sht me out and I let her have it no more she has bullied me my
entire life and I won't have it anymore I waited for her to stop screaming at me
and I told her right you told me to treat you like any other client we
charge money to every other client we also have requirements none of which you
have follow you want an email signature we cannot give you a final draft without
your approval of the first draft take your sht elsewhere because I'm not doing
your work for free anymore while you insult and criticize while not following
the proper channels you abusive piece of sht don't call me and I hung up now
suddenly she's taking the sht out on my sister who was always her favorite and
I'm trying so very hard to not feel guilty because I know I have an issue
with guilt I can never tell if my reactions or emotions are appropriate
because when I called out the abuse and told her it's not right that you beat me
up so badly that I can't attend school for weeks I was told that I'm a drama
queen so I always now try to scale back my emotions and reactions but this is
enough I have had it I should add that my poor sister is living with mom mom
took over my grandmother's business and ran it into the ground sis is trying to
save it but it's a big thing to fix and Mom isn't making it easy not to mention
the strain of having an ex-employee tried to have them murdered on top of it
all I feel so horrible for my sister and
I want to scream at my mom most days but I also understand that it's a long
process and my mom is damaged too so I do try to be patient but sometimes
enough is enough anyway sorry for the long post I just needed to rant update
my mom I have no words this woman knows no bounds she was extremely abusive
growing up my siblings and I as a result all suffer from some form of of
emotional Fallout to this day I'm finally happy I have started to make my
own family the way I want giving my daughter the happy childhood I wish I
had in a healthy way of course she isn't
spoiled fiance and I finally have enough to get our own home and plan to move in
at the end of January 2019 this is important stay with me mom
has pissed off my nana mom also lives off of my nana believe me I had loads to
say about this Nana told Mom to grow up and get out
naturally I swear this is important so my fiance and I decided to pool our
income with my little brother it just gives us all a better chance of getting
out of this country saves on rent Etc and my little brother is a cool dude I
like him he's easy to live with mom sent me a text today found us all a house to
move into my first reaction is WTF but I text back calmly what do you mean drama
ensues guys she assumed that she could just move with us I finally polish up my
spine and sent her this hi sorry it took me so long to respond and I appreciate
the fact that you are trying to help that being said you didn't consult us or
even ask us you simply made a decision and expected us to go along with it I
don't appreciate that I say this with all the love in my heart and hope it
doesn't hurt you at all because it's not my intention to hurt you but I do feel
the need to set a very clear boundary here I love you but I can't live with
you she then proceeds to try to Guilt Trip me by saying I don't know what I
did to piss you off blah blah blah I tell her mom I'm not mad at you I just
don't want to live with you I love you though quore drama I don't respond sorry
she kicked me out multiple times in my teens as a result I was sawed multiple
times and became addicted to drugs I cleaned up long before I had my daughter
guys relax my sympathy levels are dwindling does that make me heartless
tldr mom assumed wrong I'm not sorry but should I be update mom crossed a line
there's now no going back I'm gutted this month has been Blissful in my new
marriage but hell on my family side sorry in advance for my formatting I'm
on mobile and also feeling pretty lost at this stage hubs and I had agreed to a
roommate type situation at the beginning of this year with my brother who was
cool at the time the problem is that my narcissistic mom got her hooks on his
brain and then he suddenly didn't want to pay his way which basically drained
us financially I finally put my foot down and said no more he moved out on
Sunday the problem is that my family is now behaving in such a way that it feels
like they view me as being wrong which I can deal with they tiptoed around the
years of abuse I experienced and then acted surprised when I had to deal with
the emotional Fallout from it they had me convinced I was overreacting for
years when in actual fact according to my therapist I was not I know my mom is
broken I know she is a narcissist I'm not always sure whether she's doing
things to be malicious or if she genuinely doesn't see the wrong in them
last week mom and I had a falling out concerning my brother and me putting my
foot down and so I set a very clear boundary and it got ugly she then tried
to play victim to back out of what she had said and done which resulted in me
shouting because when I stated quite clearly that I needed space to calm down
she continued to push and I had an anxiety attack I couldn't firmly draw up
a boundary that she wasn't stomping on and out of frustration I shouted that I
needed space and that she was basically terrible for even attempting to
manipulate me into feeling guilty for standing my ground on my own mental
well-being my sister and I were on the same page with regards to this but now
she's backslid and it's affected me so badly I feel very alone today I was
called into a meeting with my daughter's teacher apparently mom spoke to her
yesterday even going so far as to show her a text I had sent to enforce a
boundary saying that with the latest fight I do not see a healthy outcome and
need some distance to refocus telling the teacher that I a scream at my child
and be my child's anxiety is a reflection of abuse by me at home I was
very straight with the teacher about my mother's nonsense and luckily for me she
too was raised by a narcissist so she was very understanding and actually
pointed out that she thinks my daughter's anxiety probably comes from
the fact that there's a lot of change in her world we are currently in the
process of moving and also that if you have an anxious parent
it's more than likely the child will be anxious too so I at least don't have to
prove that I'm not abusive what gets me is that she would pull this sht having
watched me fight so hard for my little girl from the minute I found out I was
pregnant she watched me end that abusive relationship and work my butt off to be
the best mom I could be she knows my daughter is my everything she knows I
love and celebrate that little girl's very existence I am so upset that my
mother would take this angle get at me through my child I'm heartbroken broken
because I genuinely was trying to have a healthy relationship with her and that
she would stoop so low simply because I set a boundary I guess I knew she was
capable of it but I always wanted to believe that she wasn't trying to derail
me or push me down I am gutted I feel very much like I've lost my family I
wish I could figure out why I love them even though they are so abusive I wish I
didn't this hurts so badly I don't know how to unpack it I'm starting to feel
guilty even though I've done nothing wrong I feel very alone
update my mom lied and told my daughter's teacher that I was abusive hi
guys you know the drill I'm on mobile for my previous posts check out my
profile this is going to be a long one background moms have always been super
toxic and abusive she's good at it too in my previous post she made some very
dangerous allegations telling my daughter's tutor that I am abusive
towards her which has resulted in her anxiety thankfully the tutor could smell
the bull on mile away so nothing came of it except for a meeting to clarify the
situation so that the tutor could make provisions on her side cool but she the
mother has shot herself in the foot concerning being a part of my family
this was all in retaliation to me setting a very reasonable boundary in
place don't scream at me because your son can't be responsible let me calm
down so I can think so after this meeting DH and I had a lengthy chat and
went through all of your suggestions and advice from my previous post we agree
that my mental health and happiness suffer when my mother gets involved and
that little to no contact is probably best I confess that I don't feel strong
it's almost like Stockholm syndrome where you feel guilty for your abusers
but being with him has made me see clearly that I don't have to half kill
myself to be worthy of love and family so anyway on to the story a few days ago
my sister called me and said she missed me we haven't spent any time together
since the fight with Mom and part because she is a huge flying monkey but
also because momes with her she asked can she come for a cup of tea dearest H
and I are strong in our communication so I ask him what he thinks first he says
only if he can sit with me because I feel like he calms me and keeps me
strong so I agree with the tea sister comes over and talks sht until tea is
poured and then gets straight down to it why have we been so quiet Mom is
starting to feel excluded I didn't answer for a bit I take my time to
calmly form my sentences huge for me and I say well that's because she has been
excluded picture shock and awe this is so unlike me so I can understand her
face goes blank and loses its color and she goes why though now I know she's
panicking because she doesn't know that I know she was present when my mom
started that last very last batch of
attempted [ __ ] in my life and did
nothing to defend me as I had done her I
can see her mind starting to race DH has
his hand on my shoulder and I don't know I just felt strong so I calmly and
without emotion tell her that I am very aware of what was said because the tutor
quoted a text I had sent and I know she was there she starts stammering at how
she asked my mom why she couldn't just say Dan and I are not talking and why
she had to show the text and say all those things and I just kept calm smile
and said I'm not fighting for people to love me anymore I think I've proven that
I deserve love and whoever doesn't see it well it's their loss I guess she kind
of sigh and says she is tired of Mom I tell her it's her de to deal with she
tells me that my mother has been so upset and DH and I both smile and say
it's her own doing she must deal with it my sister then tries a new tactic but
you can't cut her off from her granddaughter because family so my
loving wonderful husband squeezes my shoulder gently indicating that he wants
to speak and shuts that sht right down by saying you people need to wake up now
and realize that your mother is not the only grandparent we have other better
options here who not only respects our boundaries as parents but also backs us
up why would we keep allowing your mother to piss in our eyes and tell us
it's raining sister stammers family and he just reinforces that idea by saying
exactly family he then goes on to say I've been quiet these past few years but
I've been observing and it's always the same Dan notices toxicity because she
has a Keen Eye for potential train wrecks Dan points out toxicity to avoid
said train wreck everyone agrees with Dan about the toxicity Dan Dan confronts
toxicity like a healthy person the family reacts in a crazy way making Dan
feel guilty for handling things the way they should be handled and rejecting her
hurting her a train wreck occurs the family then reaches out to Dan who then
accepts the Olive Branch because she was
so starved of love from you crazy people growing up that she puts her needs and
wants last rinse repeat your biggest mistake sister was failing to recognize
this wonderful woman as your sister and not an opponent she's going places I've
seen it and I know you've seen it owing to your boyfriend continually trying to
buy into our business which would not have started or even survived this long
if not for your sister who you all mocked for being clever but your mom has
got her hands so far up your ARS you probably won't wake up from this until
you are neck deep in her debts wondering
why you drink to escape and wondering if you had just listened and loved your
little sister how different life might have been instead you treat her like
she's an annoyance I dislike the lot of you because of how I've personally seen
you treat my wife I think it's disgusting and I am so glad she's waking
up I love him so much she cries a bit saying sorry if I feel unloved and then
she finishes her tea and leaves true as nuts this morning my mother texted me hi
Dan can your daughter come visit tomorrow I'm having a lady knit her a
jersey and we need measurements so I respond hi Mom no I don't think that's a
good idea thanks though boom just like that short and sweet I don't have any
explanations she she knows what she's done Q blow up but I just kind of let
her blow up I don't respond and just leave the messages on read I felt so
empowered keep in mind that text Warfare happened this morning sister came by
today to drop something off from one of our mutual friends business related mom
chose this moment to climb out of my sister's car and hand DD dear daughter a
huge pack of sweets and a box of very sugary cereal so I take them from DD
hand them back to my mother and again say no thanks I take DD by the hand I
can see she's upset by this obviously she doesn't understand why her non isn't
allowed and lead her inside the house tell her to stay and come back out and
calmly continue my conversation with my sister the woman's face is blank it's
like she was hit with a wet fish aha DD was obviously upset with me but I can
deal with her not liking me 100% of the time I'm her mother not her friend and
she doesn't always like what's good for her one day she'll understand anyway I'm
almost certain I can expect more Shenanigans so name suggestions are now
open I'm super proud of my shiny spine these just no subs have been a real
Comfort to me these past few months thank you all so much I think I might
start posting some old bits that I kept bottled up out of shame or hurt I don't
know we'll see update you guys might know me as the girl whose mom tried to
gain access to my little one by falsely accusing me of child abuse my dearest
noted how much better I seem to be feeling after letting these things out
after 27 years of them festering and growing so here I am again DH come up
with the name no more na na because nmn is like a tongue and cheek version of
amum and we're very centered around our humor I won't name him but he is in fact
on Reddit once I feel a bit more comfortable I'll let him read this
please excuse any formatting I'm currently having a lie in on one of the
first Warm Sunday mornings of this African winter so I'm on mobile I'm
defrosting and unpacking the toxicity in my family I was thinking back to last
month when I awkwardly ran into my father after he didn't show up to my
wedding which then led me to think about
the previous conversation I had with him four years prior to this basically I
asked him why did you hit my mother and how could you leave me with her I'll get
to his answer in a minute but first I need to tell you about the day this
happened it's carved clearly in my memory because it's my first solid
childhood memory side note I have added some little translations in Brackets
because I know some of you in America don't call things the same things we do
at this stage I was about 3 years old and my little brother was still in
nappy's diapers he was so cute and such an idiot he had this little walking ring
that we called his rocket ship and he'd run as fast as he could in this thing
and launch himself off the step from our Lounge living room to our outside
Veranda patio hence the reason we called it his rocket ship this particular day
my mother had asked me to close the door because he had knocked on his head and
split it open the day before and that would not stop him from launching
because he's a boy I tried but that was a very heavy door my granddad built that
house and used 6-in thick glass on that door and aluminum frames I have no idea
why my granddad was a cck ky character but it was too heavy for a tiny human to
close alone I asked for help and got a backand to the face and a men's favorite
way to discipline was hitting me through
my face she screamed at me to just do it
not at all like Sheil La though that has
become a standing joke between DH and me so I tried and tried
but I was Tiny and not at all strong enough to get it closed of course the
boy seeing it open runs full out trying to launch himself again and I managed to
push his walking ring and divert it but it caused him to head toward a wall and
he hit the wall with quite a bit of speed but in my mind I had done the
right thing I was told not to let him launch himself off the step and I hadn't
let him he starts screaming more out of frustration that I took away his launch
than anything he hadn't hit his head or anything mom comes storming in me up by
the collar of my dress lifts me to face height and begins to slap me
continuously through my face at this point my dad walks in from work and
immediately lays down on her and says and aen stop she drops me and goes for
him teeth bared spittle flying and screams at him for a long time while he
responds in a calm voice I can never remember what he said just how he said
it and he was always calm and she was always screaming shouting and seeing at
some point they're pointing at me in their argument and she storms over to me
grabs me by my arm above my elbow and Yanks me up saying something along the
lines of I've tried with her but she just doesn't listen and he says
something like that's because you scream at her and she gets scared and my arm
starts to hurt by my shoulder and she's just yanking away so I start to cry he
tells her to let me go and she screams I
say stop Mommy you're scaring me and she hits me with a closed fist in my face
later she would tell my nana that my dad had put that bruise there but I was
little and gave that secret away immediately because I knew nothing about
keeping secrets my dad then flew at her he grabbed her fist so she couldn't hit
me again and I guess he just lost control and hit her she screamed there
was a lot of chaos my sister was crouched in a corner and I went to see
if she was okay she was crying with her hands over her ears suddenly there was
silence my dad had pushed her off of him
and walked to us girls to make sure that we were okay and a men jumped in front
of him and made it seem like he was coming to hurt us and I can remember the
look on his face it was hurtful so he said to me that he's going to leave the
room and take a breath if I wanted to come with him and I did but when I went
to go with him she again grabbed my arm and I braced for another hit instead she
pleaded with me please go pack a bag for you and brother then she turned to her
sister and said please get your kids into the car I'll pack for you and we
went to my Nana and Papa's house mom's parents Nana asked me all sorts of
questions and Mom started fighting with her apparently Nana had asked what did
Mommy do and of course mom flew off the handle years later Nana explained to me
that just with how my mom would scream kick and hit my dad they all knew it
would be a matter of time before he hit back or left my dad took off and went to
Angola I didn't see him for another 13 years by that time the damage was too
severe and I was angry at him for leaving and staying away for so long
without even a phone call my mother just added fuel to that fire
I can imagine it must have been hard for him and I'd feel sympathy but he did
that to three other sets of kids too he seems to be a bit of a deadbeat and a
coward he could have taken me away and saved me but he was too cowardly to do
anything I no longer hate my dad but I don't really feel anything for him I
don't know him and every chance I have given him HEK been let down so I stopped
trying I think my dad like many South African men in his generation was left
very damaged by the war in Angola I've seen it firsthand
and while that's no excuse for him to run away I get it I don't excuse
domestic violence I believe that women are just as capable of abuse as men NN
got into a few relationships after that and the ones that weren't completely
inappropriate she abused just the same as she did my dad I'll tell the stories
as they come to me once again huge thanks to this community for the ongoing
love and support it really does help to get it off my chest and the anonymity
helps too because I can't stand to be pied which is why I never told anyone my
mother was abusive my dad left update hi guys it's me again the girl with a
psychotic mom who tried to have my daughter taken from me by lying to the
tutor and saying I'm abusing my little girl you guys know the drill on mobile
sorry for the formatting Etc so to kick this one off I'll start by telling you
all that South Africa is bloody dangerous the economy right now is so
bad that unemployment among the youth sits at something ridiculous like 42% so
naturally you see a rise in crime people are hungry and need to feed their
families in the early hours of Thursday morning around 2:45 a.m. we had an
intruder break into our Lounge living room while we were all sleeping in there
to avoid the cold I had my little one right under the other window thank God
the Intruder didn't choose this particular window because that brick
would have landed on her little head thankfully DH was still awake in
maintaining our servers when this person threw a brick through the other window
it was not able to go through the window owing to computer screen stopping the
brick but the glass did Smash loudly which gave us all a fright and alerted
dhua who immediately got up and ran at the window to prevent the guy from
entering our home I grabbed my DD and called for help which came in minutes
and the Intruder only got away with a phone we were planning to sell anyway DH
fixed the computer screen immediately and we went on with our lives made a
plan and moved out immediately the landlords are aroles and wouldn't fix
the window so our safety was severely compromised
anyway on to NN and her new bullsh approach my sister and NN are part of
the neighborhood watch WhatsApp group they heard my panicked voice note asking
someone to come help us quickly help did come within minutes and decided to try
and use it as a way back in as I'm moving my tech tech had to go first DH
and I are web developers and literally depend on our PCS to feed our family out
of my home to safety at around 8:00 a.m. the same day I get a phone call from a
blocked number so I answer it thinking it's my bank asking me to confirm a
payment for my servers and because it's quite a large amount I have to verbally
approve the transaction there are some huge problems with fraud at the moment
like I said people are hungry it's not my bank on the line but my sister is
calling to make sure we weren't hurt I tell her thank you we're not hurt we
lost nothing we're a bit shaken but nothing too serious and then I start
hearing my mother whispering to her on the other end I don't think they knew I
could hear her I'm very hard of hearing thanks to my mother and I won't pick up
certain sounds I have very thick scarred tissue on my eardrums so they aren't as
sensitive as they should be but I could hear her clear as day asked Dan if that
was her voice this morning on the WhatsApp group maybe we can get her to
let us see Dee so I already know their game my sister asks was that your voice
on the watch group you sounded so scared yes flying monkey I know what you're
doing I decide to play and I go yeah I was scared there was a dude coming
through my window like du and I wait shame man sorry it's never nice how's DD
handling it she must be terrified so I reply yeah she was very scared but very
brave and did exactly as she was told she wanted to go visit her grandparents
while we moved our stuff quickly pause her grandparents oh DHS folks and I just
MH and say well I still have loads to do so I must go qu the hail Mary we can
take DD for a few days if you guys need a safe spot for her and there it is so I
say no thanks thanks for offering but we have everything sorted that should be
the end of it but I can still hear my mom say tell her sister's boyfriend
wants to take the kids to the fun place she won't say no to him I swear I can
hear bitterness so sister asks hey next week can sisters BF take the kids to the
fun place amazing haha I just said no we have plans but I have to go now
thanks for checking in on us bye and done trust them to try and use a
traumatic situation to their advantage I'm actually laughing it's not funny if
you look at the intent but like what next I can't be with these people
anymore I didn't tell them where we were moving to either update how my family
made me hate my name hi guys you know the story on mobile the formatting is
probably shd I'm the girl with the mom mom who tried to have my daughter taken
away by lying to my daughter's tutor by saying I'm abusive no more Nonna or NN
for short I hate my name because it was used so negatively in my formative years
and on into my life growing up trigger warning child abuse I'll start this off
by telling you guys that while I have been a functioning adult since I was 17
I haven't been okay I have crippling anxiety PTSD and a panic disorder most
of the crap that has damaged me has been normalized in my family so I didn't
think I was that damaged all those feelings of dislike and disgust were
seen as Danny being quirky my moral compass Quirk my love for books Quirk my
compassion Quirk my emotional intelligence weak Quirk my overwhelming
need to help people hateful Quirk there was just no way for me to feel at all
like I was normal or fit in with anyone in any scene because I was told I was
weird from the start I've hated my full name for about as long as I can remember
and I finally realized why my family are not nice people they talk behind each
other's backs and gossip and if you make one mistake it's over for you in their
eyes they're very judgmental and there was really no wiggle room around this my
whole life the only time I ever heard my full name it was usually tied to
something negative being said about me sometimes I overheard sometimes this was
done in front of me sometimes it would be something like can you believe how
Danny Dan had the cheek to not eat her beans that child will end up with
nowhere to go if she keeps this up I overheard while I was in the the next
room playing with my granddad's new Parrot yes I was made to feel like the
worst person in the world for things as trivial as not liking beans they've also
done this to me when I made a tiny Mistake by leaving a document at home
that I needed to get my learner's license a simple fix would be to just go
home and get it but I heard them gossiping about it weeks later and
saying it's the reason why I won't get anywhere in life super dramatic
deduction guys I now run my own company despite having forgotten that document
most of the time I was given nicknames like noodle or Peach my little mind tied
these nicknames to affection because they were used to address me and not
used to speak about me so now every time
I love someone I give them a nickname my daughter had a nickname 10 seconds into
her life and my husband gained his nickname 5 months into dating I didn't
realize that this was strange until my Mill asked obviously feeling a little
insulted why I never used her boy's real
name I couldn't answer I didn't know why
and I told her so I hadn't realized that this was strange I was so starved of
love growing up that I clung to nicknames as a form of affection and so
I exhibit this now in my adult years by giving nicknames to people I love so I
hate my name but it goes further than that I don't just hate my name they my
family hate it too and I'll tell you the reason now no more n has a tendency to
pick favorites I noticed this throughout my life but especially when my DD was
born before my DD came along NN would tell the world all sorts of creepy sht
like how my nephew was her soulmate and how he descended from light or some sht
I think she called him an indigo baby or something but she'd spend a heck of a
lot of time with him and buy him all sorts and he was really the apple of her
eye then along comes my DD and the poor kid gets pushed aside and forgotten I
have a feeling that the same thing happened when I was a baby first there
was my sister who was bold and beautiful and the favorite then my mom had me and
my poor sister was probably cast aside for a little while in this way my family
developed a dislike for me I was apparently high maintenance supposedly
born allergic to everything and could not be raised on breast milk or even
formula I was always sick which got my mom the attention she was always looking
for and my poor sister was neglected because of it I say I was supposedly
allergic because I don't believe this to be true I'm doing my own investigation
into this and I'm finding out a bunch that I'll put in another post now in
order to explain why I understand this I'll have to explain to you how my
family operates they're very clicky and often times they'll choose sides and
things without it even being necessary for example if I had a disagreement with
my sister they'd pick apart my character and tell each other how I'm a terrible
human being in order to convince each other to be on my sister's side this was
done with even the most trivial of arguments like one time my sister
borrowed my eyeliner and didn't give it back and I was then told how my very
essence is nasty being a so-called high maintenance baby a lot of attention was
taken from my sister and the family I think formed a dislike of me from the
start in order to counteract their feelings of grief for the situation at
hand so instead of hauling my mother up and telling her to quit her bullsh we
form hatred and direct it at a baby I know it seems wild but trust me this has
the family name written all over it and they did it to my brother too I know
this is true as well because my Nana was telling me about the time my aunts had
had enough of watching the abuse and neglect after my baby brother came along
please keep in mind that I too was abused my mother beat the living hell
out of me and my sister was just kind of left to her own devices we were both
hungry though my aunts broke into our bedroom when I was little through the
window I remember this and I pretended to be asleep because I was so scared I
heard them Whispering about taking sister and leaving me because I don't
deserve to be helped this has pretty much stuck in the back of my mind my
entire life it's also why I never asked for help they took my sister away
through the window and left me there to be abused because they didn't like me
only because my mother used me to Fu her attention addiction by lying and saying
there was all sorts of wrong with me when there never actually was I'm
dealing with the Fallout of it now Nana told me that they left me there because
I was too attached to my mother I love her but she can't lie to save her life
and I saw right through that because I remembered for a long time I believed
them that I hated myself I couldn't understand why anyone should ever love
me my family was right I am a horrible person until I met my husband he started
pointing out positive aspects of who I am from the beginning before we even
started dating telling me things like damn you are a bad AR working so hard to
support your daughter with no help that strength and not everyone can do that
which took me by surprise because being a single mom had been a sore spot up
until that point in my family's eyes I had gotten myself pregnant and beat up
and only had myself to blame but my darling husband started to change
perspective on things he'd celebrate things about my body that I was ashamed
of I was never beautiful in my family's eyes and yet here he was telling me I
was beautiful and strong and for a long time I was reserved about whether or not
to believe him I'd been programmed to think so little of myself for so long
that it was hard to overcome that I know
it seems a little out there for a mom to claim her child is sick for attention I
didn't realize for a long time that she had done this I genuinely thought I was
sick until I grew up and realized I'm fine I know my mother used me because
now that she can't she suddenly got all these illnesses like arthritis and lupus
and her hip was broken in a car crash and all sorts of nonsense that was never
actually diagnosed I'll write about this in my next post I just needed to get
this out I'm done bottling it all up thanks for reading this far my entire
family is toxic so I'll be writing about
them too I'll need to come up with names like a cast list update I'm under enman
skin and it's cozy here hey everyone I'm the girl whose mom tried to have my
daughter taken from me by lying to the school and saying I'm abusive I'm on
mobile as always posting to you from my very warm bed in the middle of a very
cold South African winter and the day is beautiful my mom is no more Nuna for
those of you who are new please see my previous posts this sht is crazy grab
some popcorn now on to my update for any of you who have seen my post history
you'd have seen that the economy in South Africa is sht DH and I are both
highly skilled but we couldn't find jobs and so 3 years ago we formed our own
business which has only really started to turn a profit now is a little more
profit wouldn't hurt to be honest but we're fed and have a roof over our heads
whereas so many don't and our business is improving every month our business is
a Web Solutions smme that we are able to run from anywhere in the world we set
this up with immigration in mind we don't want to stay in this country and
we've been open about it from the start there is no future here for our daughter
why would we stay no brainer there my family sees this as a weakness which is
weird now our business offers certain Solutions such as website design managed
hosting analytics and SEO which we have helped my family out with for free in
the past but you know it's been about a year now that they've been hosted for
free and I went there to talk to my sister about paying for her hosting this
is the first time I've actually seen them since we moved house and I made
sure to do it away from my home so that they still don't know where we live and
I can keep my peace their house I can always just leave if they act up my
nephew's PC was also miss behaving so DH very kindly offered to fix it for them
my nephew like DH is on the Spectrum and
his PC is his comfort so we really don't mind helping DH also likes to open up
the PCS and show my nephew how they work and they can spend hours disassembling
and reassembling components which I think is awesome for my nephew he's
learning something of value and he loves it DH is also a huge role model to my
nephew because they are so similar and DH understands things from the nephew's
point of view so they bond while they're doing this my sister and I were talking
about immigration and how they're thinking about it too and she was asking
what channels were going through to get out of here and Mom kind of cut in and
told me I'm a coward running from my problems I didn't skip a beat I looked
her right in the eye I usually don't make eye contact and I saw fire and I
told her no actually I'm looking my problems right in the eye she hit back
where is my granddaughter why didn't you
bring her to see me and I go because you can't respect me as a parent so you
don't deserve the time I didn't say it in an angry way just a matter of fact
emotionless kind of way facts guys she got so uneasy that she got up went back
into their house and started cleaning the situation was so funny that DH and I
Dr drove out of there and just started laughing because NN would come out while
I was speaking with my sister and start doing random sht like commanding my
nephew to feed her dog or asking for one of the couch cushions behind him it was
almost like she was trying to establish dominance through the little boy who had
come and wrapped his arms around me because he missed me DH was fixing his
nephew's computer while this was all going down and he's chuckling away to
himself which is making Ann even more uneasy she's never been in this spot
before and I enjoyed watching it see she's never been in this position before
where she knows she's wrong but can't manipulate me into feeling guilty her
first go-to she can't apologize for the wrongdoing that would be acknowledging
that she was in the wrong something that's never happened in my life or hers
I'm guessing and she can't beat me into submission DH
put a stop to that years ago so she didn't know what to do before you guys
get annoyed with me for being in contact I must tell you that while I know my
sister is a huge flying monkey who is still in and out of the fog I'm not mad
at her I can understand why she is the way that she is and I can work with it
when I set a boundary she sticks to it I just don't give her any important
information to report back to the family and if she doesn't respect my boundary
we have a very straightforward relationship where I can call her on it
and she can apologize and vice versa my sister and I don't hold that Pride my
family has where they can never be wrong
and that's why I can work with her she's not bad just damaged I also cannot go
and see I can't take my DH away from my nephew this is a problem among adults he
shouldn't have to be a part of it and we keep him out of it mostly mom tries to
drag him in but I can see my sister is starting to put her foot down there as
well which is awesome for her and huge progress but you you know even if
something important was relay to the family A who cares I'm in the mindset
that nothing I do is illegal come at me bro I'm an adult I make my own decisions
anyone who doesn't like it can get wrecked and they've seen it which I
count as a win so that's the update on the current situation thanks for reading
guys I have so much love for this community you have shown me a huge
amount of support and comforted me and I'm sure there will be more toxic
families never stop being toxic and I still have so much that I need to unpack
and work through but I feel so much like this is worth celebrating update hi
everyone you guys know me as the girl whose mom tried to have my daughter
taken from me by lying to my DD's teacher and saying I'm abusive on mobile
sorry for the formatting boy do I have a happy update for you guys guys I am
laughing my ARS off at this woman I had a phone call with my sister this morning
I will get back to this soon she's distraught because the tutor the very
same one my mom lied to his left and she's worried about her son's schooling
I saw the catastrophe a mile away and made a quick move to pull my DD out and
school her from home I have been in contact with the tutor to set up
learning plans that I can work on with Dei at home NN has tried to buy her way
back in sense her childlike Behavior the previous time we saw her she had a
sweater custom knitted for D asked me to pick it up obviously a ploy to see DD
was super salty that I didn't bring DD when I went to fetch the sweater and she
had added a bunch of toys into the mix as well I donated them DD doesn't need
any more toys she's got plenty there's poor kids out there with no toys and
sorry why should I let her bribe my kid to buy her way back in only to cause
more havoc in our Liv Dei hasn't asked for nemen even once since I explained to
her about NN breaking the rules and trying to hurt mommy NN tried to argue
with me because I asked her not to post any pictures old or new of Dee in the
book of faces she was Sour because I didn't stand for her sht human
trafficking is growing in the are they're tracking the kids through
Facebook and that data is so not private I took one look at the bag and said
thanks knowing full well what she was trying but DD doesn't need any more toys
and we don't really have room grasping at straws enen goes and where are you
living now sensing danger my sister changes the subject and we leave shortly
after I had really gone there for a cup of coffee and a chat with my sister and
while NN wasn't there I was on my way out as NN was arriving back home so onto
the phone conversation with my sister this morning apparently NN has
threatened to call my in-laws if we don't let her see DD soon so I laughed
at this my sister was very sweet in trying to warn me but really does n men
think we are kids to be told what to do by our parents still haha not only that
but I so wish she would call my Mill she will be set straight so quickly my Mill
is mainly just yes and actually has a mom just like mine I told her NN might
be calling to whine about the andc and Mill said that she'd tell her straight
to back off and step back in line it's not her place to tell grown people how
to parent and that's that I asked my sister if she was really so delusional
in thinking that this would work and my sister says she's whining about how mean
I'm being Sister tells her maybe you should just leave Dan alone she's made
it clear she doesn't want to be bothered with this family anymore I don't think
bugging her or invading her space is going to change her mind on forgiving
you mom to which this enmen apparently lost it I didn't do anything wrong
they're being controlling and blah blah blah blah blah sister says NN knows dhed
and I am not talking to her but she's been complaining that she has no idea
why not nobody will tell her because she throws temper tantrums like a toddler
because she can't handle being wrong oh well I told my sister I'm sorry for what
she has to deal with in her home and she replied she must effan move out soon
because I'm going to lose my sht with her sister is slowly waking up to the
fact that NN isn't broken she's just a be I explained to my sister
how calculated and a men's actions have been so she can actually help them it's
not like it's something that she does without realizing she's hurting people
she actively tries to hurt people sister was hesitant at first of course but
she's very quickly reaching the end of her rope there I've been treating my
anxiety and starting to take better care
of myself I exercise every day and drink loads of water I've been eating better
and I feel fantastic business has improved a bit too since we we started
talking to a few resellers one of which lives in the USA so yay dollars and
we've been gifted a free on screen add by one of our clients as a thank you for
helping him with his pcdh likes to fix things for fun so we helped this client
without charging him he has a few websites designed and hosted by us
sisters bf's business is also doing well
sisters business is flourishing NN can't stand to not be in control so she's
lashing out trying to put her hooks in anything and anyone so I will probably
have another update for you guys soon if she does try anything though I've been
in contact with my lawyer I'm still building my case but I will fool on B
slaper with legalities gone are the days where I actually cared about whether or
not I looked like an arole I know I'm going to do so regardless my priority is
keeping NN far away from my DD and any future children I might have I've been
working through some other stuff that involves the rest of that side of the
family as well so I'll post about that soon there's so much to unpack and work
through that it takes a while to draw conclusions and I have to kind of rip
these old traumas open to heal them properly and it hurts it's exhausting to
deal with I'm sure once I've dealt with most of it it'll start getting easier no
I haven't had a self-harming thought or even been teased with the urge to just
give up in weeks now I'm so proud of myself I've been speaking more and more
openly with DH about these things and he's really supportive but I like to run
things past you guys first because well it's sort of like dipping your toe in
the ocean I don't like to just Barrel into things I have to let the chaos out
if I want to restructure it in an understandable fashion thanks again to
everyone of you who have shown waves of love and support between you guys and DH
I'm going to be just fine I love you guys update I think I'm ready to talk
about my aunt hey guys I know I've been quiet for a long time now I'm the girl
whose mom lied to my daughter's school saying that I'm abusive to try to get my
daughter taken from me no more N I mentioned in a few posts that pretty
much my entire family is toxic and abusive and I had a lot to work through
still am to be honest this particular post is dedicated to nen's younger
sister whom will call us one before you ask there is another sister will call us
too but she hasn't really been around me a whole lot the few times I have seen
her have made me dislike her she's not very nice in fact I think she lives up
to her own ARS again I'm posting from mobile so I'm very sorry to anyone using
a PC for formatting trigger warning death I've been working through this for
a while now and I decided that I wanted to share it with you guys because you
have walked this journey with me I have an aunt that I've been pretty close to
my whole life she wasn't very loving she just showed me minimal amounts of
affection and brought me gifts from across the seas and my little soul so
starved of Love latched onto any bit of affection I could get my aunt was a
nurse a bloody good nurse I'll add I feel like she had this emptiness inside
of her and filled it with caring for sick patients she was abusive but not
like NN level abusive I went to live with her when I was 13 because NN told
us one that she hates me so I can't live there anymore in front of me S one gave
me a warm bed some clothes really nice clothes and actually allowed me to focus
on my school work though the underhanded insults were not lacking S1 is obese
like my mother and they're constantly in competition with each other at the time
I thought S one was taking me in because she loved me bear in mind that I was so
starved of love that I didn't know what love actually looked like until I had my
own baby but she was only taking me in to show everyone that she's a better mom
than enmen she'd constantly call me lazy and fat I was a chubby kid in my pre
years and make me go out and do physical labor like dig holes in the garden bear
in mind I have a spine that's basically crumbling or she'd have me run up and
down a hill and if I slowed on the digging or the running she'd shoot me
with a paintball gun the family still thinks this is hilarious I was also made
to constantly look after s1's daughter 3 at the time we'll call her D for dove I
grew so close to that little girl but she was spoiled they constantly bought
her things but there was very little physical affection given to her by
anyone but me I feel bad for her S1 was diagnosed with a terminal illness her
brain is slowly dying and poor D is now 16 and lost D has some severe behavioral
issues but I maintain that therapy would
help her but of course we won't send her to therapy thy lest she start talking
about the disgusting abuse in this family so this poor girl seeks out
affection from many boys and drinks like a fish I'm getting to it I looked after
S1 a few years ago when her illness was defeating her and she didn't have a
boyfriend while I was doing this she couldn't sing my praise high enough now
she hates me why does she hate me I'll tell you there's a rule in this family
I'll help you now but you'll pay for it later it's unspoken and they pretend
that it doesn't exist but it's there my sister organized my wedding I didn't
want a wedding I was going to go to home
Affairs and then go hiking but my sister wanted to do this so I let her but it
was clear that I was not paying because my way was free and much more
comfortable for me I love my sister but damn as1 was invited because I do love
her I wish I didn't love any of them but here we stand and she's dying she has
about 2 months left to live S1 calls me the day before and tells me she's too
tired so I let her know that there's nothing to apologize for her I tell her
to rest and that I'm not even mad I still love her I wasn't at all stressed
but S1 sends D which is cool I love my cousin too D behaved so badly guys I'm
sitting here cringing still side note D is 16 but she looks older I've caught
her multiple times trying to get older men like ranging between 20 and 30 back
to the story D asked literally all of my guests that were friends with either me
or D for weed or cocaine marijuana is legal here so some people do smoke but
like they're not going to give it to a 16-year-old she got rip roaring drunk
interrupted the speeches to make her own speech about herself and then tried to
chat up the bartender a man in his 40s only bartending because he couldn't
afford his hotel bill and then tried to flirt with my new DH when my sister
pulled her aside and warned her to behave herself or she would be taken
home she locked herself in the bathroom and cried so loudly that people were
getting annoyed I go into the bathroom to see what all the noise is and I see
right through her sht nobody who is that upset stops pacing to watch themselves
cry in a mirror I'm not kidding so anyway the wedding cracks on and we do
the wedding things she's been subdued by my nana who has threatened blue murder
if she doesn't re her shdn one more Outburst when nana leaves and hubs has
to go and pull her aside to tell her that it's enough now the wedding is
finished DH and I head home we're exhausted
we are not social people the next day I get a message from D thanks for the
party y with a bunch of emojis I tell her thank you for attending but your
behavior was unacceptable and I'll be speaking to your mother about your
antics last night that was not cool that was my wedding she acts like I'm being
mean whatever I didn't expect anything other than this so who cares I send a
message to S1 and so does my sister and even Nana backs us up D was out of
control my aunt then rips me a new one why am I even friends with people who
smoke weed she smokes cigarettes she distinctly remembers that I once took
heavy drugs okay yes I did in my late teens but I dealt with that ages ago and
have never hidden it or been ashamed of it also what does this have to do with
it and I'm to remember that D is 16 and that I am to pay back money that she put
in for my wedding I wasn't even aware of
this nor did I ask for it so naturally I
said no so I was like for a bit but then hubs stepped in and very reasonably
stated exactly 16 she shouldn't even be drinking let alone trying to go home
with the 40-year-old bartender we very sorry for looking out for your daughter
we won't make the mistake again you take care now and we left she had tried to
rate my business negatively on Google she had tried to tell lies about me to
my sister saying that I once tried to steal my sister's boyfriend of course my
sister laughed and told me I have good taste I love that she gets that this
family is [ __ ] and that I would never do that my aunt's
brain is dying which I think has brought out the ugliest side of her I took her
to lunch about 2 months before my wedding and subsequently had to call the
place to apologize for my aunt's rudeness she made the waitress cry I
gave her like a 200% tip because I felt so bad I guess I just never thought of
my aunt as toxic because she showed me a bit of love when I was a kid but she's
not there anymore the woman left behind is ugly and I don't care how sick you
are you don't get to treat me like that anymore so that's some of what I've been
thinking through next I'll tell you all about my uncle as well as the NN side of
the family my poor Nana apologized to me
when I pointed out the toxic behavior of
her children she didn't raise them to be this way I think Nana would have been
bad RS had she been born much later but sadly she was a victim of the times born
in a generation of women who were to be quiet and agree with their husbands edit
to add this won't be the only time I speak about someone so feel free to
suggest names I love you guys update no more nna is about to get her come upin
hey guys it's been a long time since I've updated on the situation with my
witch of a mother no more na n and amen for short for those of you who don't
know me I'm the girl whose mom lied to my daughter's school with false claims
of abuse to have my daughter taken from me and fired usual apology for
formatting as always I am on mobile tww substance abuse I've been quiet on the
situation for a while now simply because
I have basically severed all ties to the family except for my sister NN has
thrown a few good Tantrums but I live in
a land with no FS to give so they really haven't rocked my boat at all but my
poor big sister has been feeling it quite hard as NN lives with her and has
now realize that I can't be moved so she's flipped her sights onto my big
sister and everything my sister has an men's favorite tactic is manipulation
through lies deceit and Boundary stomping my charming brother who very
quickly became just no earlier this year has lost his job lmou it's not funny
except for the fact that he fed DH and I over financially and then dropped us in
the sht so I like to laugh at this karmic retribution and has subsequently
been evicted from his nice new home again LOL and aan moves him into my
sister's home without even discussing it with her I feel bad for my sister but
she really does need to put her foot down but she is still so easily swayed
by threats of oh well he'll just end up on the street is that what you want in a
way I'm sort of grateful for the hell I was dragged through because my response
to that was you didn't seem to care very
much about that when I was 17 he's 25 he can make a plan and I am thankfully
still afloat because of it while my dear sister struggles to keep her head above
water because she's supporting those two lazy leeches NN has also been spouting
quite a few blatant lies that are very easily disproved and here they are my
sister's boyfriend is abusing her son I made quick work of that one sister's
boyfriend is a drug dealer dude wouldn't
even know where to buy wheat he'd make a terrible drug dealer LOL sister's
boyfriend is cheating on her and introduced the new girlfriend to en not
even going there anyway my sister called me today to tell me the latest and I
empathized I really do however the only way to fix this problem that she is
having is to kick those two NN and brother out which she's not quite ready
to do yet I have had a blissfully peaceful 3 months and I'm not even
tempted to disturb that by involving myself so basically all I I do is listen
when my sister needs someone to talk to but today is why I'm posting NN revealed
her hand to her sister who then called me NN told my sister that she is going
to phone my nana and tell her that my sister is harboring a drug dealer law
and get my sister kicked off the property Alum fou guys the house the
land the business and all the assets were all given to my sister to do as she
pleases with Nana so now my sister and I are looking for institutions to put NN
in because no body wants to deal with her anymore and she's seriously not
acting like a normal person my sister's staff has come to her and said that NN
is calling her a w while crying in her car we seriously think that the
alcoholism has escalated and I've advised my sister to keep her son away
don't let NN drive him anywhere and to just be careful sister wants to ask my
just no aunt which institution is best but I'm saying let's rather do this
ourselves because Jan not will likely put enem in in a hole if she could and
while I do think that would adequately pay for what NN has done to me I don't
believe vengeance is the right path I'm saying we don't want to destroy her she
needs help sister says it's fine she can harness Jon's fire and I'm saying that
fire will burn her house down so it's not a good idea because jont is also
super toxic I'm posting this not just to update you guys but also to remind
myself why I can never go back these past three months have been totally
peaceful and hubs and I have taken some huge strides in growing our business
we even made a connection with a lady in Georgia so we might be expanding to the
USA soon I have also taken up endurance running again I used to run as a kid and
was really good but nmn couldn't have me doing well in anything so I was forced
to stop I ran a short distance just this morning but I step it up every day and
I'm loving the feeling you guys are awesome for reading and I always
appreciate the support I get from this community I especially Love The Cheeky
responses I get from here and add them to my arsenal of class backs so feel
free to add some more I love you guys edit to add if anyone wants to come up
with nicknames for my aunt and brother all are welcome I'm leaning towards the
cave troll for my aunt because what's left of her is ugly ugly ugly she's the
one with the dying brain from my previous post update it has begun no
more nna is getting her come upins but is trying to weasle her way back in with
me hi guys it's me again the girl with the crazy egg donor who cannot seem to
leave her children to succeed in life or
parenting I came to the realization that I have no parents nor have I ever had
Parents I had DNA donors but other than that I raised myself and I did a pretty
damn good job of it obligatory apology I'm always on mobile I flared my post as
TLC needed because while I have prepared myself this woman has abused me my
entire life and because I've been free of her for going on 4 months now I've
enjoyed absolute Bliss but now she's back and the anxiety is is hitting
pretty hard I'm still going to Stand My Ground though anyway the story is in my
last post I told you guys about my mother pushing my sister a little too
far with her lies and nonsense well surprise surprise she actually amped up
the crazy and my sister nearly lost a client because of it details are still
unclear but basically from what my sister told me this poor lady client
called my sister in an absolute state of concern that her dog was going to be
mistreated my sister runs boarding kennels that my grandmother started over
20 years ago because of something my mother said my sister managed to calm
the client who is livid she told NN that she needed to leave I'm proud of her
however NN is now trying to weasle her way back into my life and I'm really
bitter right now I'm mad I'm annoyed this woman is infuriating and I can
actually see what DH is talking about now when he says she's very calculated
and all of this was done on purpose I have heard nothing from her in three
almost four months now I'm not complaining it has been Bliss
but now suddenly today of all day the day she is told to leave she starts
tagging me in Facebook posts for jobs I don't want or need I own my own business
these posts aren't even in my field they're for graphic designers I'm in web
design and then the one is for a sustainability specialist a
qualification I was forced to get under threat of being homeless yet again and I
actually hate the field it was a pain to work in and I own my own company I know
what she's doing she likes to pretend to
be helpful to get back in my good graces when her other children want nothing to
do with her what she fails to realize is
that I am done she programmed me to feel
guilty she has rugs swept my entire life
and made me feel guilty for her nonsense all so that she can emotionally
manipulate me into doing what she wants it won't be happening ever again she
went for my kid and was dead to me thereafter I stepped up and did what she
never did I stepped up and protected my daughter there will be no more guilty
Danny there will be no more of her Tantrums there will be no more of her
emotional blackmail I truly meant it when I said I was done I finally have
the family I deserve the family I always wanted I have a beautiful well- behaved
insanely intelligent polite little girl and a husband who adors me as much as I
adore him my home is Happy there's so much love and laughter in my home that
I'm almost glad I had such an sht life before I had these two in my life
because I can appreciate it so much more
I know what comes after the fake helpful face though and that's what has me on
edge next comes the phase where she'll try to talk to me and honestly I'm not
up for it she's probably going to try and rope me into renting a house with
her can anyone say F no and if I don't then she'll probably run to anyone who
will listen and tell them what a sht person I am the thing is I don't care
anymore I feel like she's made enough of an ARS of herself that people who
actually matter won't listen and those that do me who cares but I'm tired of
the drama she brings it's exhausting and I'm tired of fighting I feel very tired
and every fight hurts and that's why I'm
anxious I don't want more pain can't she just leave me alone why must she always
try to drag people down with her honestly you would swear she'd learn by
now that I'm not going down this path again with her I said I was done and
I've always meant what I say I'm not a person who speaks lightly with Idol
threats I'm very straightforward and when I say I'm done you best know that I
mean it I'm unsure as to whether or not I should straight up tell tell her to f
off which would give her ammo or to just ignore her until she gets the message
though a restraining order is not a bad idea either I'd have to show that I
asked to be left alone and she failed to respect my wishes which of course would
then require me to engage with her I don't know if anyone has some
suggestions I'd be super grateful I'll update you guys as the situation unfolds
sorry for rambling I just needed to vent and if anyone has some sassy clap backs
please share update shout out to my sister for having a spine so shiny and
bright update one guys I am so very proud of my sister she told NN to GTFO
obviously my sister isn't soulless so she gave NN time to make a plan but this
is huge for her this comes after our chat yesterday NN pulled some shady sht
and more info is unfolding as I type this so I'll basically list things that
led up to this NN ran my Grand's business to the ground and shoved me out
for being a whistleblower a few years ago my sister saw how she treated me
like she was literally berating me while I was keeled over in pain from the
bleeding stomach ulcers that were caused by her sister took over the business
last year and got it back up and running in its former glory nmn has had CBF
about this since sister took it over and made it a success because you know who
wouldn't want their children to fail it's completely normal NN made money
disappear at alarming rates and has lived off of my sister even moving my
brother into my sister's home without even discussing it with my sister first
nmn was rude and berated one of my sister's clients almost losing the
client and costing my sister even more money NN has run around telling stories
about how my sister's boyfriend is abusing her son selling drugs and
cheating on my sister the poor guy my sister's boyfriend had enough of NN
yesterday and asked my sister to drop him off at a BNB bed and breakfast so he
could just get some space and have a think about things he doesn't want to
leave my sister but he just feels so drained she emasculates him and
carefully words sht so that it cuts him pretty deep and he'd honestly had enough
so I can understand the minute my sister leaves to take him to the BB my mother
runs downstairs with a chesher cat grin on her face to tell my sister's staff
that my sister is hiding her boyfriend from the police like WTF today nmn
demands my sister pay a $5,000 fine on a
car that my mother refused to have moved to my sister's name my sister paid
towards the car but my mother just never bothered to take that money and put it
towards the license so now she's demanding that my sister pay so that NN
can get her new car registered and that was it my sister broke she sent NN this
message I have redacted her boyfriend's name mom how can you hold me liable for
the car registration when a the car is in your name and B you never bothered to
get the log book so that I could get it changed to my name also when I asked you
to get the change of address done so that I could at least apply for the
registration in Durban and not in jhb Johannesburg which is roughly 800
kilometers from Durban you were worried that it would be removed as you had
money owing with Frankie 6 gears my mother's fee at punto yes they named it
Frankie 6 gears you kicked up a fuss when I wanted to give it to brother
saying that it's your car when I paid the balance owing on it so if it's your
car you pay I'm tired of things only working when they suit you whatever
fines were owed while I was driving were paid except for the r230 you paid today
I'm not effing happy that you for some unknown reason are trying to cut me and
my sister's boyfriend off at the knees but I'm getting really tired of this I
need you to start looking for somewhere else to stay I'm done as soon as
possible you need to be out guys I'm so proud this is huge she went from being a
huge flying monkey she just wanted a family to absolutely putting her foot
down of course nmn is going to try to run to me but my sister and I have put a
plan in place and we're both getting restraining orders against NN no more of
this sht I'm meeting with my lawyer he's dh's
best friend this Saturday we're watching rugby and having a BRI barbecue and
we're going to discuss this at length and figure out the best way forward I
thought I would share the news along with my update because I have no doubt
you guys would be just as proud of my sister as I am edit added some
explanations update holy sht holy sht holy sht so NN read my sister's message
and very calmly told my sister that she just needed to make a plan for her
animal and would be leaving shortly I don't
know if she's going to try to reach out to me again I don't even know what to
expect here because she is never calm and rational I'm taking my nephew
tonight just in case sht hits the fan and sisters BF will be staying at the BB
for tonight I have also told my sister that if she needs backup call us and
will DH and I be right there we don't live far this is unsettling update to
nephew is at my house currently playing happily in my yard with my daughter and
he is none the wiser to the tensions at home update three we're all nephew
daughter DH and myself all cozied up watching Beetlejuice sister has been
quiet I will check in with her a little later and update again in the morning so
far NN has been quiet but has threatened to have all the animals put down we
aren't worried though there's no way she can achieve this her sister has reached
out to some Rescuers and the situation is sorted update 4 so it is currently
10: p.m. and I have spent spent the past hour on the phone with my sister who is
absolutely broken as it turns out she missed her man and went to the BB to
spend the evening with him rather than without kiaha but with nobody there to
deflect enin as bulled she zoned in on my brother and went for the jugular
telling him that she should have aborted
all of us no arguments there because she
was a terrible mother and he's a failure and he's all kinds of disappointment
this after she's done her usual bit for a few months of my son s HTS gold so as
you can understand it's very unsettling for him and he broke which then upset my
sister who phoned me and long story short there's a huge family meeting
tomorrow night with all the people I have no interest in including in my life
but I'll go because I love my sister and
frankly she deserves better I also found
out that enen is drinking again so there are no surprises as to why she is being
so vile ug this woman disgusts me update 5 the big meeting isn't happening
surprise surprise I did however meet with my sister the morning and I told
her that she and her man need to be a unit they need to stand up to NN for
their son in front of their son so that this cycle does not continue she was
very uneasy because I can be very blunt but I told her I don't think any less of
her and that I understand her point of view update update on the situation with
no more NAA it isn't a happy ending yet hi everyone I'm sorry it's taken a bit
for me to update since my last post I did say that I'd update as this unfolded
but what I I found out caused a bit of a
spiral for me and I honestly had to take a few moments to just breathe my heart
really hurts this hasn't taken a turn for the worst I'm just feeling all kinds
of things because this woman just brings
pain to my heart she's done so much that
she doesn't even have to be around me to cause this hurt for context please see
my previous posts warning this post is a long one the formatting is bad as usual
because I'm on mobile and there's a trigger warning for alcohol abuse death
and abuse I'm going to give a bit more background quickly before I give the
update please bear with me I need you to understand why this is so disturbing to
me my grandparents were kids during World War II my grandma was a hardcore
equin Enthusiast descended from the Dutch who settled in South Africa and
spoke queen's English her family lived in swanland my granddad was born in
Italy I'm unsure as to whether he was born in Venice and later moved to Sicily
or vice versa but he spoke often of the wine stomping festivals my granddad was
a brilliant man he went to University and studied art and philosophy he
trained to restore paintings but hated his stepmother he had a fiance in Italy
who fell pregnant and she was sent away to live in an unwed mother's home where
she gave the baby up as life progressed things got messy and more and more hurt
was experienced I'm not 100% sure of the full story but I saw firsthand the
damage my granddad was always in my corner when nobody was in my corner I
could count on him and even though the rest of my family couldn't stand me my
granddad taught me to be great always questioned use your brain look closely
and speak up I watched him destroy himself with alcohol he became diabetic
because of it and he was not a particularly friendly drunk either our
relationship broke when he took a swing at me for grating mozzarella cheese the
wrong way the week he died he had tried four or five times to call me but he and
my mom had had a fight and they were both trying to rope me in so I ignored
both of their calls my sister told me he died a week after I ignored that final
call and it royally effed me up I went on a two-month Bender I couldn't pull
myself together the only person in my family who had expressed love and
affection and who spoke my name in a way that I didn't hate was dead and I
ignored what were supposed to be his last words to me I was messed up my
granddad holds a big place in my heart but there's a mess there because I can't
sort through the love and the hurt so he's just there my mother inherited the
love for using alcohol to avoid facing herself I've mentioned it before she
liked to get wasted when I was in high school what I haven't yet opened up
about is the fact that she'd drink and think it was fun to throw her empty
bottles at me how vile she'd become and that she'd say the most horrific things
to me to try and hurt me and for the most part she did hurt me she'd say
things like you stole my youth I was a planned baby and follow it with I should
never have had you you should have had an abortion and shockingly enough I
agree with her on that one she should never have been a mother if she had just
not had me I wouldn't be in this much pain because I just wouldn't be and I'm
okay with that I'm not self Haring I'm just okay with the idea of never having
existed in the first place I know that is hard for some of you to comprehend
but if you could understand the level of pain I smile through on a daily basis
you'd understand why I'm so okay with never existing but where she'd hurt me
was to say things like oh you were my ugly child or you're not smart or pretty
you may as well just sto trying when I got my haircut or if I started dating
someone he must be blind or something to that effect or when my boyfriend first
real love died you don't get to cry he's the one that croaked the only reason
you're crying is because you want him to be here and that's selfish or you
constantly whine about nobody loving you well how could they look at yourself
just awful sht that really made me hate myself and took away my will to life but
I'm still here I'm still fighting and I still smile now on to the update I met
with my sister on Tuesday Morning her and her husband my brother started a new
job important detail and so he couldn't attend on Monday night I had to keep my
nephew with me overnight and it's good that I did because NN got drunk and tore
into my brother she told in the same shd I should never have been a mother I
should have aborted the lot of you you are nothing but disappointments this was
just after he'd spent the afternoon reassuring her that she's not going to
be homeless sister told her she needs to leave and that he'd take care of her
while I admire his empathy and her language he basically told her that he's
better than her because she's pitted herself in competition with the rest of
the world and yes that includes her children this explains why every time
any of us are doing remotely well she tries to cut us off at the knees and
knock us down she can't Elevate herself so she has to pull everyone else down
think about it he's doing really well after his fall down he started studying
something he's got a new job after losing his last one he's told her he's
going to get a new place to live he was planning on taking her with him but
that's besides the point in her eyes he's doing well enough to get a place
that is better than what she's doing which is living off her daughter my
brother seems to be in a tricky position he keeps saying it's my turn as if
myself and my sister took the flag for 20 years and now it's his turn sister
and I have decided that seeing as we are the eldest we make the decisions we
aren't taking away his right to decide but he needs to be protected he needs to
not take flak from a woman in her 50s who will make himself harming so we met
without him and our decision is final he can hate us all he wants but at least
he's alive and that way he can heal my brother did F me over a few times but
he's only ever done it when Mom gets in his head when he's away from her he's
not a bad guy she just makes him not okay and he acts out I'm not making
excuses for him at all he's a grown ARS man who can go to therapy and sort his
shd out but I think he needs help to get there and while I am not going to stick
out my hand again the last time he bit it was the last for me I'm not going to
interfere with my sisters efforts to try and help him the meeting was light we
use humor to work through these things so I cracked a few jokes but when it
came time for my sister's boyfriend to talk the jokes quickly died down I could
see he was struggling with this he has no family his mom was a drug addicted
prostitute who would service men with him in the car with her he eventually
went to live with his uncle at a prison his uncle was a warden he has no frame
of reference my DH does and he noted that DH and I seem to be handling things
quite well so he wanted some tips and advice DH gave him some tips and advice
he asked me to be straight he calls me the truth LOL I do have the tendency to
put my thumb on issues and say things bluntly particularly when people are too
uncomfortable and dance around an issue I don't have time to play games
I'm more of a say what needs to be said kind of person which I think is why my
mother couldn't stand me growing up but nothing gets fixed if we just dance
around an issue so I tell them the harsh
truth I told them that they were kidding
themselves by trying to tackle different aspects of this huge problem alone and
that they needed to quit their little game of who needs who more and actually
be a unit DH told sister BF that he doesn't need to say anything just being
there for her is better than what's going on now we also revealed a few
heavy truths about the the effed up dynamic between my mom and sister such
as how my sister was forced to drop out of school and how NN raised her to be a
meal ticket my sister was meant to be a rich man's wife I even told him that NN
had tried to push my sister on a married
man while they were still together which really drove the message home I told my
sister that her reactions to how NN treats her nephew break my heart that
she has without realizing it allowed enn to bully and mistreat her son and she
sister condones it my sister was very obviously put out by this until I
explained myself further I explained that when I've seen enn bark orders at
her son he could be eating doing his homework or playing on his PC or
PlayStation and he complains about it his sister has said to him in front of
me just go do it you know she isn't going to stop until you do it and I told
her that is what breaks my heart you're basically telling your child to lie down
and take it so that your mother will be quiet when it is your home you can make
it stop at any time because it is your home she acknowledged this she knows I'm
right so what came out of the meeting was be a unit stand up for your son it
is your home and not an amend you decide the rules and she needs to go well it's
the long weekend and one of our sisters is busiest so we've decided to rather
wait and see how enen behaves over the next few days to decide what our next
move will be sister has found empty bottles in en's room which tells me that
she's drinking again great you watch your father destroy himself and his
family with with alcohol use and you decide to do the same selfish move
depending on how NN behaves over the next few days we are going to do one of
two things one she behaves in a vile poisonous alcohol fueled destructive
manner in which case DH and I go there and pack her a bag load her up in her
own car take the two vehicles ours and hers through to the nearest rehab center
leave her there with her suitcase and her car and drive off in our own cars
what she does from there is her own indaba an African IDI meaning your own
story issue or problem or two she behaves herself in which case we meet
after the long weekend and read her the riot act with some very strict
boundaries that also include a date and time of her departure oh yes she's
leaving either way I know she is going to bring up RNC but DH and I are a team
and we are going to tell her together that she is not welcome in our lives and
that the moment she decided to go for our daughter she was dead to us we are
only there because we love my sister and her family and nmn is making our family
unhappy so we are doing what the rest of the family has failed and will continue
to fail to do protecting our family I'm a little bit broken up about this it
hurts me that my nephew has lived with this and it hurts me that my siblings
yes brother included are being hurt by that cancerous lump of narcissism and
bitterness I'm angry I'm just so angry sorry that was long I will update again
thanks for reading I know the post flare says no advice but I can't seem to
change that I just wanted the update and Trigger waning part if any of you have
advice that can help us through this sht storm I'd love to hear it thanks again
for the support I love you guys update NN I may have reached out to my abuse of
X I can't prove a thing this is so frustrating and exhausting I just know
she's up to something I can feel it in my stomach ulcers which have sadly
returned today I saw my daughter's biological father the one who tried to
murder me and my unborn child yes him pop up in my Facebook notifications my
surname has changed the only way he could possibly know me as my married
name is if nen reached out to him and gave it to him I haven't told my husband
yet I'm not sure why I haven't told him but if she has told him who I am and he
has found my company name he has an address and that terrifies me I'm
supposed to be spending my Heritage day playing board games with my little girl
and my husband but instead I'll be watching the gate and checking the
windows because I am absolutely terrified that he's coming for us years
ago before my daughter was born before my ex could hurt her I ran away
successfully disappeared and registered my daughter's birth certificate as
father unknown I need to find out if he can contest that but I'm literally too
afraid why is she doing this to me I'm so tired I asked my sister how she had
been behaving this weekend my sister says she has been Angelic so I just know
that this was her she likes to act all innocent when she's trying to F me up
I'm so exhausted I'm terrified and I have hot metal rods poking around in my
stomach I need help update update on the no more n no situation it seems I go
forward alone hey guys I know it's been long and this may seem like a bland
update but it is huge for me this is a long one and I am posting from mobile so
I'm really sorry for any formatting issues I flared the post as advice
wanted because I'd like to know what you guys think if I'm leaving anything out
or if there is maybe something more I could be doing to protect myself and my
family please let me know feel free to ask questions as well tldr sisters shiny
spine fails because NN is behaving I'm still going ahead with the row and
setting a firm boundary for the future so that I won't be involved when NN
eventually acts up again on to the story so when we last left off sis and I were
going to meet about en's behavior and decide where to go from there NN was
behaving herself far too well and I had figured out that while she put on her
best Angelic face to my sister she had gone and contacted my ex DD's biological
father who was very abusive physically verbally emotionally and financially but
I had not yet told my sister well as I thought my sister was not ready to go
full circle yet I called her up last week and said hey dude are we meeting
this week to discuss a way forward with Mom she goes uh no she's been really
good so I don't see a point in that side note I'm going to put a side note here
because I'm very frustrated at this point I have been enjoying the feeling
of actual happiness and an existence free from anxiety for the first time in
my life which was then instantly dissolved when my sister dragged me into
this situation by guilting me because I was the SG and she wasn't used to
dealing with it she was literally begging me for advice and help UND
dealing with this I go against my gut which was telling me to stay the F out
of that mess and go with my heart I love
my sister and wanted her to not be stuck and deal with that pain because I know
how it hurts and I wouldn't want anyone to feel it I don't by any means think my
sister is a terrible person or even think badly of her I just don't think
she is where I am emotionally or mentally she hasn't dealt with inmen as
long as I have and obviously is still being blinded by the illusion that she
may one day get the family she wants out of those people and whatever to each
their own but I felt a need to set a very clear boundary here and so I did
back to the story I ask her have you been following Our
advice she says yes especially her boyfriend and because of it nmn has
behaved so well and that's why she feels
that no further consequence is needed NN
is still agreeing to move no date set so we all know that's not going to happen
and she has been buying her own food because she's Banting which is very
expensive and I'll add here that enn is morbidly obese she claims that Banting
helps her lose weight but in reality if you eat a stick of butter with a kilo of
of bacon and a block of goat cheese for breakfast your ARS is going to get even
bigger so I told her you understand that this is just a phase right she will go
back to her old ways once the threat of being kicked out dies down I was tempted
to mention that NN pulled a dck move in contacting my ex but thought better of
it because if my sister is still in the fog that sht can be weaponized and I
will not give them more ammo she goes yeah but I just want to enjoy the piece
for now we jump over that bridge when we get there notice she said will she
immediately assumes that I'm going to keep dragging myself back here to help
her when she won't even help herself I love her but damn I have my limits this
whole situation has turned me into an anxious mess I have stomach ulcers again
and I'm not waiting for them to rupture again and for my health to get worse to
the point where my fingernails tear like
rice paper my hair starts to fall out my teeth start feeling loose and my skin
breaks out in hives no screw that my health now comes first I love her but no
so I say sis don't take this the wrong way but no I can't keep doing this
you're too afraid of conflict and this is an unending cycle that I can't stay
in I'm sorry but if you won't get it over and done with you're on your own
she tells me she understands and that she still loves me and she has to do
this for her own Peace of Mind otherwise
she'll be dealing with the guilt forever and I get that so I told her I
understood and she can always talk talk to me but I'm not getting involved
anymore I told her what it was doing to my health which she probably couldn't
understand because she didn't live with us most of the time and she didn't see
what was done to me I need to be getting
on with my life even though it may sound selfish she tells me she definitely
understands and won't ask me to take any more action I don't really believe that
because she's still stuck in a certain mindset and I can almost guarantee that
the next time NN acts up give it a few months Max she'll come running to me
again but the boundary is that and I've been consistently reinforcing and
sticking to my boundaries so that's that
I'm still sticking to the plan I'm still
getting the RO have been in contact with my lawyer and have been going through
all my documents getting my ducks in a row it takes time because it's decades
worth of infractions there's my medical records from childhood statements from
friends in my teen years stating that they suspected I was being abused and
how they'd come to check on me Financial
records of my mother taking loans out in my name and more medical records from
adult Ood because she had me so stressed out that I got really sick and nearly
died from stomach ulcers that ruptured and bled while she berated me for being
lazy and needing to lie down because I was disgustingly sick I had turned
yellow and I still to this day don't even know why my liver was affected just
that it was I have pictures of my yellow self to add to that file as well as
reports from the teacher about the accusations made recently by NN and my
records disproving those accusations there really is just so much I made the
plan with the possibility that my sister would back out anyway so her stuff
doesn't affect my plan so whatever the family has also been making noise
because DD and I have consistently spent Christmas with dh's side for the past 3
years and they want to see DD but that is a post on its own or a series of post
fall so I'll post about that tomorrow sigh I'm still waiting through the crap
to get free of this nonsense and it's still so messy and exhausting but I'm
getting there thanks for reading guys I love you all update it's no more on NAS
birthday and I am a giant ball of red hot anxiety I know I promised an update
but I'm not quite ready yet as I've had a few very traumatic and effed up
memories surface through therapy that I'm still trying to work through and I'm
just not there yet onto the reason I'm posting today I sent indirect birthday
wishes short and to the point happy birthday I didn't even call her mom my
reasoning is that I don't want to feel like a giant ball of shd throughout this
whole debacle I have had one thing on my side I have no reason to apologize to
ignore her birthday would in my mind make me feel like I now need to
apologize because while I can be a quivering mess at times I can at least
rest assured that I have never ever gone out of my way to hurt anyone regardless
of their actions I've told myself that cutting them off is for my protection
and my family's well-being not to hurt them and that's the truth but now I'm
second guessing myself wondering if I foolishly left the door open what do you
guys think update hey guys a lot has happened since my
last post obligatory apologies because I'm on mobile and if anyone wants some
background information please feel free to check out my previous posts no more
Nona has moved out of my sister's home and taken my brother with her awesome
the problem now is that she doesn't have
my sister as a moral compass for lack of a better metaphor and is now trying her
luck with me she's now made my DD a plushy unicorn which I know DD would
lose her mind over but she won't be getting it this is the hill I will die
on that woman will not buy her way back in what I need help with is how I go
about politely and quietly shutting this sht down I unfortunately cannot go
scorched Earth I want to so badly because my dear sister is getting
married at the end of this month and I really don't want to have any negativity
tied to her wedding I mean we've gone through so much she deserves the best
wedding some normaly anything that's not a constant reminder of the sht show we
come from I will make a separate post about the mess I'm unpacking at the
moment in the next few days I'm not sure yet how to put it into words but what I
really need help with is this NN situation the absolute last thing I want
is for her to push her way back into our lives but I also absolutely cannot skip
this wedding my sister and I have always
been there for each other because we had parents who weren't asking her to not
invite the family is also not an option because she's still floating in that
cloud where she believes they offer some form of value to her life so she still
cares about them and wants them included in the big moments of her life and it
would be incredibly selfish of me to rob her of that I'm sorry if this seems
disjointed broken up and illogical I'm not in the best place emotionally update
possible text response to en's attempt to buy her way back in apologies because
I'm on mobile so I've taken a few days to let this fresh attempt to buy her way
back in permeate and settle I have drafted a response to her text the
details of which can be found in my previous post but I'll quickly recap no
NAA is my very abusive mother she pulled
some seriously Shady sht telling a major lie to get my daughter taken from me we
went and see she has made various attempts to buy her way back in Via
gifts for my daughter this time around it was a handmade plushy unicorn 10
points for sentiment she then texted me a picture of said unicorn and then
another text to say hi Danny sister has DDS unicorn I have since spoken to my
sister and informed her that we will not be accepting gifts from NN and that we
are sorry that NN chose to put my sister in the middle of all of this so I have
drafted a response I'd like it if you guys could weigh in a bit here hi thank
you for the time and effort taken to make such a beautiful plush toy however
we will not be accepting any gifts from you for the foreseeable future you
crossed a major line and sidestepping me to try and get at my child again does
not constitute an apology it's more of a manipulation you cannot buy your way
back in feel free to blame me for the rest of your life or whatever I'm quite
comfortable shouldering that you are not welcome in our family life until the
following conditions are met you seek out therapy from a licensed practitioner
we receive a sincere apology for the sht
you pull you learn to respect boundaries
your children are all adults two of whom have their own children we my husband
and I are not okay with your attempts to manipulate and control often enough
feeding fires between siblings to divide us rather than having a healthy Rel
relationship and encouraging your adult children in their various walks of life
but you only encourage when you're in a good mood or possibly want something
from someone otherwise that person is sht in your eyes and I'm okay with being
sht in your eyes you have caused me a great deal of emotional and physical
pain and you are no longer welcome until you can address the root cause of your
behavior and give assurances that this bullsh will never happen again now in
terms of sisters weddings this day is about sister and Bill and this drama
should not Tain that so we will see you there I will have no fighting or any
Jerry Springer Antics in front of my child so we will be civil you will be
allowed to give your granddaughter a hug and thereafter you are to let her play
there will be no gifts no love bombing no demands for her to talk to her
parents about sleepovers or visitations and no attempts at manipulation
whatsoever the bottom line here is that we do not accept gifts with strings
attached and so far you have proven to use gifts or favors as a mean me to
manipulate and control do you think it's too lengthy too Stern too
confrontational let me know your thoughts thanks so much as always you
guys are the best edit okay I have removed the swearing and added a bit to
request that she doesn't put my siblings
in the middle of this here's the new one hi thank you for the time and effort
taken to make such a beautiful plush toy however we will not be accepting any
gifts from you for the foreseeable future you crossed a major line and
sidest stepping me to try and get at my child again does not constitute an
apology it's more of a manipulation you cannot buy your way back in chisu and DD
has other grandparents who are far more supportive and respectful of our
parenting you are not welcome in our family life until the following
conditions are met you seek out therapy from a licensed practitioner we received
a sincere apology for the nonsense you pulled you learn to respect boundaries
your children are all adults two of whom have their own children we my husband
and I are not okay with your attempts to manipulate and control often enough
feeding fires between siblings to divide us rather than having a healthy
relationship and encouraging your adult children in their various walks of life
but you only encourage when you're in a good mood or possibly want something
from someone otherwise that person is nothing in your eyes and I'm okay with
being nothing in your eyes you have caused me a great deal of emotional and
physical pain and you are no longer welcome until you can address the root
cause of your behavior and and give assurances that this Malarkey will never
happen again now in terms of sister's wedding this day is about sister and
Bill and not this nonsense so we will see you there I will have no fighting or
any Jerry Springer Antics in front of my child so we will be civil you will be
allowed to give your granddaughter a hug and thereafter you are to let her play
there will be no gifts no love bombing no demands for her to talk to her
parents about sleepovers or visitations and no attempts at manipulation
whatsoever we have not put DD in in the middle of this she still knows and loves
you and we encourage that love furthermore I would request that you do
not put my siblings in the middle of this sister is not there to shoulder
your burden your problem is with me and not sister or brother the bottom line of
this text is that we do not accept gifts with strings attached and so far you
have proven to use gifts or favors as a means to manipulate and control edit to
I sent it update I find it difficult to tolerate my Mally ill s hi everyone it's
me again also an obligatory apology because this is long and I'm on mobile
so my formatting probably stinks tldr my sill has put my kid in danger she has
flown off the handle at myself and my kid and given a half-hearted apology for
it a small update on NN I'm the one whose mom tried to have my daughter
taken away by telling lies to my DD School saying that I'm abusing my child
my mother is no more nun if you'd like a bit more background please feel free to
read my previous posts but the bottom line here is that my mom and her family
are insanely abusive they did some deplorable sht to me and as a result I'm
a little bit broken but I'm healing I have some updates on that situation that
I'll start with first NN was kicked out of my sister's home and went to find
somewhere else to live all was peaceful for a few months but then she moved in
next door to my sister and I'm laughing a little at that because it is just
insane my sister sister doesn't seem to mind her FH does he's Furious L and
rightfully so so whenever DH and I go over there we make sure to let him know
that he is not alone we'd be pissed too sister is also a bit annoying right now
because she refuses to plan things like an adult but that's some minor Beck
nonsense that I'm handling quite well there was a minor incident that I'll
post about at a later stage but NC with NN continues now on to the sil Sil is
schizophrenic she is on medication and she is not a danger to us however I feel
and DH agrees with me that she uses her mental illness as a sort of crutch often
using it as an excuse for shtt Behavior one example my DD has an iPhone but only
myself and DH are allowed to text her or call her we've actually blocked anyone
else from the phone because we want her to be able to reach us but we don't want
outside influences that we can't yet control DD is nearly seven so I don't
think I'm being unreasonable with this well according to to S I am being
unreasonable she would like to be able to text my DD why just because L it's
not happening she is actually the reason we restricted access so heavily DD
received a text a while back and it made my skin crawl the text was something
like hello my darling how are you feeling today I'd like you to take a
picture of your face and send it to me please my sweetie yuck yuck yuck now
that I know who you are that's flipping creepy so DH and I made the mutual
decision to limit the phone to just us being able to reach it now you think
that's all right elow it wouldn't be this sub if it was a while ago she took
DD for a walk around the block and they passed a troop of monkeys and this B ran
she just left my kid there and the kid screamed blue murder I ran out to see
Sil legging it down the street and my kid was further behind her than I'm
comfortable with running with the alpha male and Troop on her tail and I was
livid I ran up and stood my ground scared off the monkeys and grabbed my
kit walk inside with her sobbing in my arms and leave DH to deal with this
pathetic thing that I can't even actually see as human at this stage she
eff and left my child to be attacked by monkeys now monkeys are a usual
occurrence where we live and we as adults know how to deal with them and
yet she did everything wrong she showed her teeth turned and ran and left my kid
behind not just that but the one day she flies off the handle screaming at DD
because DD picked me flow hours and she was mopping the bathroom floor yeah that
doesn't make sense to me either I spoke sternly told her to never speak to my
kid that way again and she flew at me I shut us in the room and this bee stands
at my bedroom door screaming at me to the point where her brother my DH
actually had to go out because telling her to stop was not working he had to
scream at her and it was all just awful I was triggered my kid was crying he was
ashamed because he really doesn't like having to shout and she would just not
apologize I went to therapy she uses the same therapist and explained my side I
told the therapist that I was angry and that I fought so hard to get away from
that and she went for my kid which makes
it even worse the previous fight she and I had was where she tried to use my
mental health I have severe PTSD and anxiety duh I grew up in abuse against
me and I shut it down and she locked herself in her room demanding I
apologized to her I did not but I received a half-hearted apology from her
not because she was sorry but because her mother told her to apologize so I
got a sorry we disagree it was very clear that the apology was not sincere
and therefore not accepted but we moved on this time around I wasn't having any
of it I didn't speak to her for 2 weeks this was around Christmas time so you
must know how awkward it was but I stood my ground she goes to therapy and DH
seems to think that the therapist told her she needs to apologize I got that
our relationship means more to me than this fight so no I don't accept it
that's not an apology DH says he thinks she's ticking boxes to appear reasonable
and I agree I'm done with her I don't trust her as far as I can throw her we
are moving out his parents might battle a bit but it's no longer our problem
she's inconsiderate incredibly selfish does not respect boundaries EES drops on
our conversations doesn't contribute at all financially she works but thinks she
can dictate who eats what and tries to push herself into our parenting by
telling us what decisions we should be making be you can't even look after
yourself let alone another human his mom defends her shty attitude Embrace
yourselves for TMI I swear to Christ I have not pooped in two weeks because
every time my cheeks hit the seat she effing knocks on the door to have a
conversation and when I'm in the shower she turns on Taps I have had enough I
decided to post here because the absolute last straw was last night when
I went to the shower and this bee has used my effing razor I can't shave my
legs now can't poop I can't take my medication freely I'm
just so over it I'm about ready to explode so I'm here once again for your
fantastic advice My worry is that DH starts a new job on Monday DD is at
school most of the day so I will be home alone with Sil and I need advice guys I
don't want to fight but I'm tired of her I suspect I'm going to be posting more
about her so name suggestions are welcome we are only moving out of here
in about a year thanks for being supportive I love you all thank you for
watching the video if you are interested in listening to these kinds of stories
we've got more in store for you simply subscribe to our Channel hit the like
button and share it with your friends | give me a good story on MyAbusiveNCMotherReturnedforMyDaughterThisTimeandFalselyClaimedIAbusedHerGrandchorig |
|
hey everybody hope you're all doing well
my name is steven and this is the story time channel
we've got some pro revenge stories so let's jump right into our first story of
the day by muttmutt069 don't think i'm worth the money kiss your income goodbye
so i was living in a town where there was an old hotel that was in the process
of being converted to apartments ended up moving in and at some point
started to help the owner let's call him steve out with a lot of stuff
started with little odd jobs here and there helping tear out a wall or take
debris out no big deal really made a few extra
bucks being a geek it didn't take long to start ending up helping handle some
other stuff they had internet access available but
it was using hp and a so basically in-home dsl over lines in a 50 year old
building they slowly were adding more people here
and there so adding more capacity ended up being my job as well as handling the
installs and troubleshooting building had its own cable system as
well and it had issues with some stuff overheating came up with a design that
would simplify the build out somewhat and remove the issue of overheating
boxes as well as adding more room for channels to be added
and creating a type of scrolling tv guide channel using titan.tv
and an autoscroll plugin in the browser then piping it onto a channel and adding
some music before long i was handling most of the
maintenance for all the apartments internet cable lockouts and whatever
else might be needed then steve's stepdaughter moved in and
things started to happen that were fishy my information being removed as the
lockout number among other things so i gracefully moved on and got out of
the way as i didn't want to be in the middle of family
i also had no hard feelings for steve over what the daughter or her husband
was doing i still got calls with questions and would answer them here and there
about six months after moving out i got a call that steve needed help as the
boiler system was acting up and basically the building did not have heat
i went down and helped to get things tore apart since the daughter's husband
couldn't be bothered he moved out of a house because he
didn't want to take care of things even though the wife did most of it
ended up the fins on the boiler had clogged up with the soot during startups
over a few years we cleaned it all out got it up and running disaster averted
owner had another project he wanted some help with so rather than turn down some
extra cash i figured why not we ran a small water line from the top
of multiple plumbing shafts to the basement so that a set of valves could be put
into place so the recirculation pump would be able to evenly get water
through the lines and everyone would have instant hot
water ended up moving back to the area a couple months later as they started
helping steve with an even larger building nearby the old hotel
converted to apartments was 10 stories tall so
not small but didn't need a lot done most of the time
the new place was not as tall but was larger and more spread out
one section had three floors and the whole thing sat on something nearly the
size of a city block i think the total square footage was around 50 000 inside
i was taking care of the apartment maintenance needs and a few other things
again as well as staying in the building with
my wife who was acting as a lookout in the evenings
during the day i would help out with whatever was going on we literally
reworked a lot of structural steel re-clad one section of the building with
corrugated steel sheets extended one section of the building and
poured concrete floors and retaining walls
i started having issues here and there with getting overheated during the day
heat stroke and while i was living there i had not actually moved yet
so i ended up taking a week to put most of our things in storage
we were literally living at the building in an rv i had to keep the building
secure when i got back steve started complaining that the power for the
building was a hundred dollars and blamed it on me running an air conditioner
we had been running a 220 welder on average four hours a day
five days a week but it had to be that ac unit and basically said there was no
way i could keep an eye on things if it was running
because i couldn't hear anything it had been over a month of straight highs with
over 100 degrees but with another roof over my rv
it never got direct heat so i called bs as my two-bedroom apartment i just
vacated only had electric costs of around 120 per
month and it was all electric with a lot more items using power including my
aquarium a question was then made about what i thought i was worth
i figured 10 per hour i dealt with a lot including maintenance on
all the machinery and his vehicle and never charged for fuel or mileage when i
would drive my own vehicle to do things for as long as i worked for the guy i
always had to bid my jobs outside of maintenance work
i was only receiving a flat amount of money each month for the work in the
building and my wife received nothing for keeping
an eye out which she did pretty well of since i
actually caught a teenage kid in the building with her seeing them
steve stated that no one was worth 10 per hour to him
other things were being thrown out as my fault too basically steve was under the
gun on a couple things as when he bought the building it was
actually scheduled to be torn down and another building across the road which
was also scheduled to be torn down was bought slightly after he purchased his
yet it had already been completely rehabilitated and was opening up space
for lease the other building was smaller but had
quite a bit more to have done to get it up to code
the roof was completely gone and the inside was so full of trash
it took nearly a month to clean it out steve kept changing things after
something was done and then turning around and changing them again
wasting more and more time a lot of other things were going on as well
so i opted to be done and move on again this time with no
option of going back my wife's stealth had started going downhill anyway
so being blamed for petty crap wasn't worth it and i
obviously was not wanted around anymore now here is the revenge
i had told him multiple times that there was an issue with his fire alarm panel
not charging the batteries the local fire department had been on
him once before and forced more smoke detectors to be installed
as a retrofit and a few other things the smoke detectors were installed but
the battery charging issue was never fixed properly other things in the building
had also started to fall into disrepair that i had told him needed to be dealt
with for instance some very large windows
were cracked and had a few pieces broken with tenants in them
it was a two-man job to fix the windows and steve had too many irons in the fire
he had sunk over 500 000 into the new building
and either couldn't afford to have someone else do the work or didn't think
it was worthwhile so we kept putting it off i went ahead and contacted the city
about issues that needed to be addressed as well as drop some complaints about
some things i used multiple email addresses from accounts i set up for
exactly that purpose so it would never track back to me
and contacted multiple members of the city council as well as the fire chief
i never contacted steve again but the last time i was there
the apartment building was shut down with signs stating that it could not be
occupied since the fire alarm panel had been written up on once before due to
issues and he had been told that if it became a problem
again a sprinkler system would be required to bring the building up to code
with it acting up again the fire marshal shut it all down
the new building is now off the demolition list but it once again sits
empty as there is likely not enough money left to pull from the apartment
building to make it complete you see being off the list only required
it to be warehouse grade which is basic lighting emergency
lighting mostly airtight with egress and fire systems once that was done
more work would be needed to actually start using the structure for office
space and things of that nature going from 100 apartments to 23 with a
few rent houses that needed to work likely took the last little bit of money
he had free to do things the apartment building was truly unsafe
as if the power went out the fire alarm panel would not function
and with a tall building a fire on a lower floor
would lead to pure disaster all he had to do was
fix it so the batteries were charged and would stay that way and pay someone to
do work on the panel if it was acting up but then again no one was worth ten
dollars an hour why would he pay someone who was going
to make even more than that i felt bad for most of the people who
live there since they lost their home but i would have felt worse if they were
hurt or worse in a fire the one thing i wish i had seen was the
step-daughter and her husband's faces while they had to move
they were on the top floor as well as steve's and his wife's faces when the
building was basically condemned but i still go back and look at the news
article showing it all shut down and have a little smile
it just doesn't pay to be a jerk when someone has tried to help you out
let me ask you guys do you agree with me when i say i think op should have left
that job way earlier than he did let alone the
not worth ten dollars an hour comment it was kind of clear opie was getting
taken advantage of and doing a lot of work for this guy and probably
not getting the compensation he deserved let me know if you agree with me or not
in the comments down below our next story is by yolo swagger not
won't let me rezone my property enjoy the smell of 400 hogs
a city near me had a farmer holding out as the city expanded
the city wouldn't let him sell his land zoned commercial since it was a farm
while the farm was completely surrounded by commercial development
the city wanted him to sell the land zone for agriculture
basically to let some dev bulldozer the fields and flip it for commercial space
easily ten times profit settled into a stalemate
the area became more and more developed housing encroached the back of the
property the farmer getting old and getting tired of this crap
not wanting to pass the fight onto his kids came up with a plan
the property had been used for soybean and farming corn to this point
not really a burden to his neighbors he applied for
and received proper licensing from the state for a hog
confinement lot in case you don't know that is where they keep
tens of thousands of hogs before they're brought to the market
normally located deep in farm country stinks for
miles the city tried to stop him legally but they never
incorporated the land in the first place they tried to stop it at the state
he followed the process to the letter and well it is farmland
they thought he wouldn't follow through maybe he did
he had 400 hogs delivered to what at this point was
one of the busiest roads in town the locals nearly
lynched the city council in less than a week the city backtracked a nearly
20-year feud and let him sell his farm for the fair commercial rate
as he had originally bargained for that is
absolutely beautiful you hate to see the city council treat this person so
unfairly and expect them to give up their property surrounded by commercial
development as an agriculture zone because it's cheap as heck
compared to a commercial development spot just so some apartment building can
be sprouted up there for the cheap cheap low price making sure their farmland
completely ruined the intrinsic value of
the neighboring area completely made the city council
buckled to their knees and say please please just sell it as commercial
it took 20 years but the payoff was beautiful and our final story of the day
is by vast seaworthiness dinan dash diva gets what she deserves
my group of friends have been together for quite some time at least starting
from the end of middle school the majority of us ended up going to the
same college so good for us anyway one of our friends had been
acting up unreasonably and starting drama for fun
it had been slowly building up for about a year now
gossip and rumors we can deal with because we know each other and we can
usually pick the truth from the lies easily at the point of her rumor
spreading we distance ourselves from her quite a bit
her latest antics have been much different for the sake of this story
her name can be d in our area cases have
been so low that we've started to go out more with the whole gang
extra precautions aside things look to be normal we eat at a semi-formal
restaurant as is our custom something about dressing up and treating ourselves
is something we try to do as much as we can financially permit
things seem fine until the bill comes and it's time for each of us to settle up
dee starts to get shifty and starts tapping at her phone
she stands up quickly and says she needs to go it's an emergency
she fast walks out of the dining room and out of sight we try to text and call
after but no answer we end up all absorbing her part of the bill
a one-time favor for a friend in need right the second part of our routine is
to go to the host's house where we drink watch movies and have a good time
kelly was to be the host this time we're not much for gossip but dee's odd
behavior mixed with our previous antics got us on the topic
all six of us shared some stories and it looked like every one of us had some
personal run in with our friend the second time we all go out to dinner
everything seems well dee ordered a lot of mixed drinks and
seemed thoroughly tipsy foolishly we believed she would pay her tab this time
before the waiter could even bring up how we wanted the bill split
dee excused herself to the bathroom and did not return
we all have jobs along with scholarships so thankfully money isn't our primary
worry however last time's bill paired with dee's inflated dinner and alcohol tab
would have collectively set us back about 300
reluctantly we paid although we didn't see her
it was assumed that she drove home drunk we rendezvous to the host's place
very annoyed and in no mood to party again d refuses our calls and does not open
our messages we busy ourselves by trying to get in
touch with some of these other friends through the mishmash of conversation it
was revealed that dee was receiving a stipend from her father
that she was saving to buy herself a new tesla
not only did she have a job but she was getting
free money from her dad there was no reason for her not to pay her bills i
guess she thought this way she could get her tesla faster
we had collectively been fed up with her crap since
all of us felt burned we decided to plan some revenge
we knew she had the cash she just didn't feel obliged to hold her weight
at this point we were all waking up to how entitled she could be
our sense of loyalty and nostalgia had blinded us for
way too long today was the day we decided to go to a very nice
restaurant today about twice the price of what we would normally do
he looked so excited bless her we all ate drank and had a great time tee had
ordered many drinks and was again drunk we were careful not to wait too
long or else dee would dash so just as dessert was over and the
prospect of after dinner coffee was being thrown around
we all declared that we had a surprise for dee
next month is her birthday so we thought it would be reasonable enough time to
use it as an excuse for her to close her eyes dee did as she was told and was
instructed not to open her eyes until we said so
because the gift takes a minute to set up we all got up
quietly filed out of the restaurant and left her there with her eyes closed
just as we were pulling out of the parking space we all took one car to
save time after our escape dee took her own car as usual we
saw dee running out of the door searching wildly for us she caught sight
of the card just as we rolled away middle fingers arise our phones were
blowing up like crazy tons of vile messages following the calls
i got the thinking the bill must have totaled around 700ish for
everyone we would have never picked this place normally although the food was
very good the rest of the gang headed to my
apartment about 30 minutes later we each received a message saying we owed her
738.17 along with a photo of the bill she had
the audacity to include her part of the bill in that amount as well
and judging by the receipt she gave no tip classy
i replied with this message i guess you'll have to dip into your tesla fund
take an uber home before you lose your scholarship and your friend's boozer
we know you can afford it to say she went crazy
is an understatement she went coconuts she tore us a new one on twitter blocked
us then unblocked us to rip us some more then blocked us again
now kelly who has an alternate snapchat account is treating us to her near
psychotic rants talking about fake who ours who never did
anything for her i guess that's us maybe next time she'll learn to pay for
herself like an adult d is totally in the wrong
here how are you going to dine and dash on who are supposed to be your friends
multiple times i get that the bill is expensive and you
want that brand new shiny tesla but you can't leave your friends hanging dry
like that they're not really your friends if you do that to them
i would never be able to do that to a group of my friends like i wouldn't even
just be able to act like that like i personally just
would not be able to do that kind of a rude thing to my friends
so i don't really feel bad about her having to pay the bill for everybody else
in the end but with that being said that's all the time we have for today so
if you enjoyed the stories today please consider giving the video a like and if
you haven't subscribe and turn notifications on so
you'll never miss an upcoming video and if you had a favorite story of the
day let me know which one and why in the comments down below
but no matter what you did whether it was liking commenting subscribing
whatever you did thank you all so very much for supporting me
right here on the story time channel i hope you all have a wonderful day
and as always i'll be back tomorrow with more reddit stories right here on the
story time channel you | give me a good story on rprorevengeTheFarmerwhobeattheCity |
|
aita for telling my wife she can sleep outside and that my niece isn't going
anywhere so for context 5 months ago my older sister 33f and her husband 36m
passed away in a car accident and I stepped up to raise her two kids 1 M and
5f so my abusive parents couldn't DNT get a hold of them this surprisingly
upset my wife of nearly 10 years as she was comforting and understanding when
the news first came out after that day after day she's cruel to my 5-year-old
niece and refuses to acknowledge her since last year I've been in a legal
battle to get my sister's children in a safe home our parents were extremely
abusive during our whole lives and we agreed to never let any of our children
be near SLB in their custody while my wife wasn't fond of the idea I let her
know it was non-negotiable for the past 5 years me and my wife have been trying
for a baby as we have always wanted to be parents we found out pretty quick
that she was infertile and it was going to be extremely difficult to get
pregnant this caused my wife a lot of stress and depression she started to act
like a whole new person and was obsessed with sex with only the intent of
conceiving after a year of trying she finally found out she was pregnant and
this was a miracle for our marriage she became so much more loving caring and
talked about being able to feel the baby and it just overall fixed her my
sister's wedding was coming up around that time and my wife was very insistent
of not going because of pregnant | give me a good story on AITAfortellingmywifeshecansleepoutsideandthatmynieceisntgoinganywhereorig |
End of preview. Expand
in Dataset Viewer.
README.md exists but content is empty.
Use the Edit dataset card button to edit it.
- Downloads last month
- 0