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I don’t know what to do. : I don’t have a passion or ‘dream job’, I simple would love to live my life. I am not interested in any internship, apprenticeships, jobs, having my own business etc. I struggle to accept this because society is built in a way you are required too work for your finances and to survive. I am only stable right now because I am currently in university doing a course which I thought I had a passion for but it’s disappeared as usual. I am currently taking a gap year and restarting my course in second year but it’s so hard to complete any work especially when you don’t want to be doing it. I feel as if I need to drop out but there is no other choice for me, it’s either I continue in this field which I don’t enjoy or work full time entry jobs which is intolerable for me.
Why does society only provide stability for those who want to work and adhere to capitalism. I am being forced to work in order to pay rent, bills, groceries etc. It feels like mental torture sometimes, I know many people can relate to this too. I wish there was another way to those who don’t wish to work. | 0adhd
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A nun is walking to church. : As she passes her local store, the shopkeeper says, "Wake up on the wrong side of the bed today, Sister?"
She finds it odd, but keeps walking. On her walk, three more people pass her and say, "Wake up on the wrong side of the bed today, Sister?"
Still baffled as she gets to the church, she walks to another nun at the pulpit and asks, "Why does everyone keep asking me if I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today?!"
The other nun looks down and says, "You're wearing the priest's shoes" | 5none
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Having fear doesn't make the fear rational, possible, or likely : This is always important to remember. For certain individuals our fear response is stronger than the part of our brain that rationalizes the world around us. For certain people, like myself, I can explain to myself for thirty minutes how a fear is irrational and not likely and sometimes not possible, but it'll come back. Having a fear come back shouldn't weaken your confidence in your reasoning, the best course of action is to keep rationalising until the fear goes away wether that be temporary or permanent. Emotions don't determine what's true, rationality does. | 1anxiety
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Anxiety about sleeping? : I'm wondering if anyone else has anxiety about falling or staying asleep, and if you have any advice for dealing with it. I've always been a light sleeper. I sleep with earplugs every night, and sometimes, even that doesn't block all the sounds that could wake me up.
I've found that meditation can help--I just play my guided meditation app, and I usually fall asleep halfway through. Exercise has also helped me.
But then there are situations like today, where I can't get back to sleep no matter what I do. My next-door neighbor, with whom I share a second-floor wall, often uses her elliptical early in the morning, and the echoing, pounding noise never fails to wake me up. I was woken up an hour and a half earlier than my alarm today, and I had already gotten to bed pretty late last night. I knocked on their door to ask them if they could move the machine or stop using it so early in the morning. The person who answered said she'd relay it to the person who uses the elliptical, who wasn't in. I asked when she'd be back, so I could talk to her in person, but she said she didn't know.
Tonight, I'll probably lie there with my heart pounding, struggling to control my breathing, because I'm worried I won't be able to get enough sleep. Is there anything else I can do? I'm not sure what my options are if they refuse to make any changes. | 1anxiety
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I'm going to bed. I hope I don't wake up. : I don't have anything to look forward to. Everything seems pointless. I don't have the motivation or desire to do anything. If it wasn't for my pets I probably would have killed myself by now. I feel bad for feeling like this because my life is objectively good, but I'm completely falling apart. There isn't anything worth living for. | 4depression
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Does anybody else feel like they’re unlovable? : I feel like I repel people now because I can barely mask/contain my emotions. Nobody ever wants to spend time with me. On my days off, I feel deep sadness & loneliness. I’m so tired of feeling lonely & unwanted. I wish I had just one person who was excited to see me & do fun things together. Everybody ends up ghosting or abandoning me. I wish I had one person who understood me. Why is that so much to ask for. I’m so tired of feeling this much sadness & loneliness. It’s paralyzing | 3bpd
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A Blonde Woman Asks For A $5000 Loan : A blonde woman walks into a bank in NYC before going on vacation and asks for a $5,000 loan.
The banker asks, "Okay, miss, is there anything you would like to use as collateral?"
The woman says, "Yes, of course. I'll use my Rolls Royce."
The banker, stunned, asks, "A $250,000 Rolls Royce? Really?"
The woman is completely positive. She hands over the keys, as the bankers and loan officers laugh at her. They check her credentials, make sure she is the title owner. Everything checks out. They park it in their underground garage for two weeks.
When she comes back, she pays off the $5,000 loan as well as the $15.41 interest.
The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very appreciative of your business with us, but I have one question. We looked you up and found out that you are a multi-millionaire. Why would you want to borrow $5,000?"
The woman replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?" | 5none
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I find myself helping friends with their issues even though I'm still depressed : I'll help my friends with their issues even though I don't solve the issue for myself. They need help with homework? "I'll help you before I do my own work". Need me to take your shift even though I told my friend we could hang out? "Sure no problem". Need help getting with a girl that i already like a lot, "well it's not like I had a chance with her anyways". Why can't it all just end. I want to die every day, car accident, Building collapses, robbery gone bad, heck even struck by lightning. Please happen. | 4depression
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"You need to get a job, finish school, get a degree, etc." : I can't. I'm trying so hard to fix myself, to tell myself to stop overthinking things, to calm myself down, to change my fucking daily routine just so I could avoid the people who constantly make me feel like shit, and they just won't leave me alone.
For the first time since god knows when, I'm finally starting to get up in the mornings, go for a walk on the treadmill, and I've consistently been taking my supplements for my vitamin and iron deficiencies for the past two weeks. I've been trying to do the smallest, unintimidating things on a daily basis in hopes that I can keep the ball rolling so I could move on to bigger things, but my family just won't leave me alone. Everything is a mess around the house, my adult siblings are still getting money and other things handed to them, and I tell them that they need to focus on their own problems, but I just get, "I have a degree and a job. I make money. You haven't even finished school yet, and I won't leave you alone" and it fucking makes me panic. It's too much. I'm trying to make whatever small effort I can to do better, but I just get bombarded with all of this. I can't keep dealing with this. They're the ones who fucking drove me to my current mental state, but they think they could do no wrong. | 1anxiety
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[Long] Little Johnny lives in the orphanage and it's coming up to his 18th birthday. (nsfw) : He's never been adopted because he's a bit of a lunatic.
However all through his life the nun's who live in the orphanage have looked after him. All of his birthdays and all Christmases they've given him what he wanted.
A few days before his 18th birthday one of the nuns apporaches Johnny and asks what he wants for his birthday.
"I want a car" he quickly replies.
"Now you know you can't have that Johnny, you don't have a licence and you can't drive"
He's having none of it though. So one of the nuns comes up with a brilliant idea and suggests they get him one of the toy electric cars for kids and reckons he won't know any better.
So they leave that outside the door of his bedroom on the morning of his birthday and he's delighted with life, it's the best thing in the world. For weeks he's flying around the corridors of the orphanage.
One day one of the nuns decides to have a bit of fun and pretends to be a police officer. "STOP JOHNNY, PULL OVER".
Johnny slowly stops the car and the nun approaches, "Johnny, have you got your car insured.".
Johnny looks all flustered and pulls a candy wrapper from his pocket and hands it to the nun.
"Ah brilliant!" she says and sends him on his way.
The next day comes around and the same nun stands in the corridor pretending to a police officer, "JOHNNY PULL OVER, do you have a licence".
Johnny proceeds to pull out the same empty candy wrapper and once again the nun sends him on his way.
On the third day however Johnny is flying around the corridors and turns one of the corners. He looks down and he sees Father O'Brien standing at the end of the corridor with his trousers around his ankles and his cock in his hands. Johnny immediately swings the car around and screams, "Fuck off Father! Not the breathalyser again!" | 5none
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Depression free for two years. Now it's back. : I had the right combo of meds and life changes to manage my crippling depression. Slowly shed my monthly psych and bi-weekly therapy visits. Started a new job and new insurance a year ago, as well as grad school. About a month ago a series of events occurred and I almost literally felt something "break". I've been quickly sinking into the mire since. I make it through my days as quickly as I can, but for the past week I come home and go straight to bed. Anxiety meds and wine and I'm out until morning. Waking up feels like mourning. I just don't want to do it. It physically hurts to just make it through the day. I haven't told anyone because I don't want anyone to have to gear up for what they went through last time. A three year stretch with me in and out of work, hospitals and leaving the state at one point.
Navigating my insurance to figure out how to find the services I need seems like a Herculean task. My emotional brain is telling me nothing will help, so why bother, just go back to sleep.
I'm trying to follow my wise mind and I'm sure I will. I just needed to get this out. I'm so extremely lonely right now without being able to share this. I'm not ashamed of my mental illness, I just don't want to drag my loved ones through it again.
| 4depression
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Life of poor whites in Revolutionary America : Just finished reading a biography of Thomas Jefferson and wonder about the poor white people of that time. How do their lives compare to slaves? What were their living conditions and occupations? I assume not every white person had land owning relatives to take care of them. | 5none
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I want to stop existing. : Does it makes sense if I say I don't want to die but wish that I just didn't exist. Or cease to exist. It's not like I want to self harm, Infact I really want to live so I am trying out so many things to not feel like this but at the and of the day I just don't want to be alive. Life seems like it will only go downhill from here. Nothing to look forward to. | 4depression
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A man went to the hospital : Upon entering he shouted "Nurse! I need help- I have a terrible headache and I keep seeing these spots in front of my eyes!"
"That does sound serious," said the nurse. "Have you seen a doctor?!"
"No," said the man- "Just spots!" | 5none
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I’m 37 years old and I have no real friends : I’m so upset today. I got a text last night from an acquaintance asking if I wanted to go to a concert tonight. I immediately replied YES! because getting invited to things is a rare occurrence. Well, this morning she decided she doesn’t want to go anymore and blames her invitation last night on “being drunk”. Basically, she got hammered, sent out a bunch of texts to people and is now regretting it.
I feel like such a fucking loser. I was SO EXCITED yesterday to get her text. Already planning what I was going to wear. And then this morning she just crushes me.
The thing is, I really want to go to the concert, but I have no friends, nobody else I am close enough to ask to go with me. And I don’t really want to go by myself. I feel like that would make me feel even more like a loser.
I’m 37 years old. I used to be so happy and full of life with tons of friends and now I’m just a fat, ugly loser that nobody even seems to care about. I hate feeling this way. | 4depression
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Has anyone else become emotionless? : I have noticed that I haven't been feeling any emotions recently. I used to feel death anxiety a lot, it was my most common feeling (that and sudden, extreme hatred of everything and everyone, don't know how it happened but my bpd episodes used to get triggered pretty easily, and isolation was the only way I could deal with myself; I don't know how other people with bpd do it, seems impossible to quell an episode) and knew that I was gonna die, but ever since I became a hermit, due to the lack of psychological and social stimulation I guess, I don't feel anything. The most prominent thing is that I seem to have lost all desire. I can literally sit in a same place for hours and stare at the ceiling. I don't even feel any hunger as well, for some reason. I don't want anything at all. I could die tomorrow and I wouldn't care (I am not suicidal or anything similar). Has this ever happened to you? | 3bpd
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My PTSD is all my fault. : I was thirteen when I went through my trauma. I never reached out for help after because I was too afraid to talk to my family about it. I didn’t trust them because they hadn’t taken me seriously in the past. Now I wonder if I could’ve prevented my PTSD from developing if I had just come clean about it and asked for help. For years I’ve been angry at my family for their lack of support that caused me to lose my trust, but now I wonder if it was just me who was too sensitive and cowardly to bring it up. I probably brought this all on myself. I know that my trauma wasn’t my fault, but how I dealt with it was. All of the stress I’ve gone through in the past several years could’ve been prevented if I had just reached out. My PTSD is all my fault and I don’t know how I’ll live with myself for it. | 7ptsd
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Suicide hotline in United States is dangerous : If you call the Suicide Hotline in the United States they will call your local PD. If your PTSD involves authority figures, guns, armed strangers, bondage, kidnapping and especially if it involves the police DO NOT call the national suicide hotline. I called them when I was blind drunk and in a manic psychosis. Before I knew it, suddenly the police show up at my back porch and illegally enter my house. They escalated the situation until they were punching me while I was handcuffed with a spit hood filled with my own vomit over my head and 5 or 6 cops crushing my back into the hood of the cop car until everything went black because I could barely breathe and the only thing I could breathe was my own vomit. Next thing I knew I was waking up in the hospital to the smell of ammonia and surrounded by emts, doctors and nurses. Im not sure what resources you can call that won’t send the police but perhaps people in the comments can help. | 7ptsd
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Anxious because I’m not anxious : A little backstory here:
I (25M) had undiagnosed anxiety for almost my whole life but it was manageable and somewhat mild, but got extremely bad 6 months ago, with multiple panic attacks per day, constant DPDR, and couldn’t leave my room.
Long story short I implemented a strict routine that includes a lot of exercise and managed to reduce my anxiety to manageable levels, but for the past week maybe, my anxiety was nonexistent, I was in a better mood than I ever remember being! Which should be a W but I started getting anxious because I’m not anxious anymore? Is this normal? Did my exercise routine pay off? Is that really it?
These are the thoughts I’ve been struggling with and has somewhat made me a bit anxious.
I was wondering if anyone has been through something similar? Is this normal? Is getting rid of anxiety that sudden? | 1anxiety
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I still live at home with my mother? Anyone else? : I'm 27, still with my mother, but I'm autistic and have anxiety and depression which halter my ability to cope with work and changes. I do feel ashamed of it but it's who I am.
I think I would like to get my own place eventually, but I would need to have a stable paid job first, which is probably gonna be a long way off yet. But I do consider myself independent because I do my own cooking, shopping, cleaning, laundry, that kinda thing. I've been scared of people being put off by it, but maybe they should understand if it's because of disabilities and mental health conditions. I know there are people out there who understand people like me, I guess I'm just scared I'll never find one.
Please don't spam me with answers, thanks. | 1anxiety
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Is mania the only thing we can get treatment for? : Bipolar 2, on lamotragine for the past few months.
My last hypomania was from Feb-Apr earlier this year, and it was truly the best time I've had in years. I accomplished so much, quit drinking, made huge strides at work, and felt great the whole time. Sleep dep wasn't really a thing, though I found I only needed say 6-7 hours a night instead of 9-10 like when I'm depressed. Family and friends were really happy to see me thriving. My wife felt like she was married to a different, better person.
Since April I've been in an extended depressive episode. Right now I'm at the lowest I've ever been in my life.
Somehow I don't believe that those 2-3 months of productivity and happiness are responsible for the last 8 months of lost, confusing depression.
From what I can tell, my mood stabilizer does not address depression in the slightest. If it's doing anything it's preventing hypomania... *which is not a symptom I need addressed*. If the drug is going to just deprive me of the upswings without helping the downswings at all... then *what's the fucking point?*
Seems to me I'd be happier without medication over an extended period if I'm STILL going to experience the deepest depression, just minus the nicer times. How can it be argued that the medication is helping? So now I get to spend 12 months out of the year miserable instead of 8-10?
If you have serious dangerous mania, I can see why preventing mania would be important to your health. But what if it's just mild Bipolar 2? Is it even worth medicating?
Thanks for listening. | 2bipolar
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It’s so hard getting to know people when you’re depressed : I’m really trying to put myself out there. I want to date and make more friends but any time I try to hold a conversation all I can come up with to say is something negative. How am I supposed to stay focused on getting to know someone when all I can think of is doom and gloom | 4depression
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Intrusive thoughts scare the hell out of me : So today I'm finding my ocd and anxiety are peaking over this situation ongoing in Syria anyone else feel this way too?
On a side note I'm still scared that I have a worse severe mental illness I just can't compohend what is rattiling around in my head most of the time I always think it must be for a reason going to go see my doctor again Monday though because this is becoming worse and worse I'm making myself think that I don't have ocd and that I'm just creating a excuse for my thoughts it scares me in itself
Also I feel like if I accept my thoughts and not be scared of them then that means that I am mad because I'm not scared I feel like I have to be scared of them to be sane I just hate this I really do | 6ocd
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I got a new therapist and I feel so… heard? : I’ve been bouncing from therapist to therapist/ psychiatrist to psychiatrist since I was 19 and I’ve been struggling to connect with someone or to feel like they understand me fully. I finally found a therapist who listens and doesn’t site my research as a bad thing. She sees it as a way I’ve had to cope. I just feel like I can grow from here because she actually listens to me. I know this is all discombobulated, but I just realized that I might actually have a therapist that’s good for me. | 3bpd
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ADHD and anxiety : Does anyone else feel like they are constantly white-knuckling their way through (theoretically straightforward) tasks that cause them anxiety? It's like I have to stare an anxiety monster in the face to do one step and then I want to take a break cause it's so exhausting. I've been trying to clean up this one excel file all day and it feels like I've been trying to defuse a bomb in front of a serial killer or something. I've been told medication can help with this kind of thing but SSRI's and SNRI's never have. I'm gonna finally start my adderall rx tomorrow and hope it helps cause after two days of this I'm ready to sleep for a week 🤞 | 0adhd
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DAE feel like their constantly obsessing over other humans? : I’m not sure if this is something that has happened all my life, but I’m becoming more mindful of the fact that I feel like I’m constantly thinking about someone else-like when I have a FP they’ll be on my mind all the time in one of three ways:I’m idealizing, I’m splitting and painting them in a negative light and suspicious regarding their activities without me/fearing abandonment or inevitably the relationship fails and I’m obsessing about being heartbroken and the possibility of them moving on/having made up conversations with them in my head. I feel like the cycle just continues from FP to FP. I’m never truly just focused on myself and my own happiness outside of another human being. I don’t feel whole and complete on my own in a way, though I would consider myself as being comfortable with being alone and don’t always feel the need to be in a relationship or in the presence of someone else. I also found myself fantasizing about having a baby and a family/husband to ease the feelings of isolation. Bpd is crazy man... | 3bpd
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I had a major meltdown over a minor issue. : Hey friends. So as the title says, I had a major meltdown over something pretty small. I like to play games on my laptop. It runs decently so I do a lot of my gaming on it. I have a wireless mouse that I use because its easier to game versus a mousepad. My mouse stopped working and I assumed it was because of the battery. So naturally, my impulsiveness drove me to go to the gas station up the road and get new batteries. Problem solved?
Well, not quite. I get home and put in the new battery and it still doesn’t work. After troubleshooting, I realized the mouse crapped out on me, ruining my gaming experience for the rest of the night. I was furious, but also really upset because I was in my happy place and wanted to stay there with my games. I got frustrated and threw my mouse across the room. I ended going to the bedroom and crying for a solid 30 minutes. My girlfriend in the other room allowed me my space, then came in to comfort me.
Shes amazing. Instead of calling me dramatic or being silly over a mouse, she asked me why I was upset to better understand my feelings. I went in depth with my thought process. She said it was okay and that she could buy me a new mouse as soon as tomorrow. I was still a little upset because I wanted my games NOW. But she put on a movie, made me popcorn, and we’re sitting here together enjoying ourselves. A part of me is upset for feeling so strongly about this situation, but thats just it. I feel more than the average person and I could accept that. Anyway. Its truly not the end of the world. Just had to get that out of my system. | 3bpd
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Earthly Life : What is the point of engaging in daily life. The struggle to work. Pay bills. Feed yourself. Excrete yourself. Why this version of reality, and not something else? What is the point of suffering? I have traveled through vast cosmic realms of unconditional love and self acceptance, yet this question of what is the point of all of this earthly realm haunts me... | 2bipolar
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Has anyone else had thoughts of violence relating to their trauma? : I've been having extreme urges to break into my old school where I experienced a lot of pretty horrible things, and I'm not looking for people to tell me not to do it, what I choose to do is my choice, but has anyone else ever had those sorts of urges, whether they relate to a person, or a place, or an object? | 7ptsd
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How many inattentive types thought they were just extremely depressed? : I'm a 22 year old male university student. Growing up I was extremely smart. I never skipped grades because I wasn't in a hurry to go anywhere (plus I knew the older kids far less than kids my age). My teachers always said I had so much potential but that I was extremely inattentive. This was very true. I always read or doodled or daydreamed and whenever anyone would talk to me my eyes would just glaze over and I would go into autopilot. I could have entire conversations and if you asked me about it even half an hour later I wouldn't be able to remember anything you said.
My friends and I were having a BBQ a little while back and we got talking about how we all met. They all shared their stories. Then I had the most embarrassing moment possibly of my entire life. I couldn't remember when I had met ANY of them. I thought I remembered a couple but they corrected me saying that they'd literally shared a bunk house with me at overnight camp when we were kids.
Up until that point in my life, I knew there was something different about me. I wasn't imagining it. My parents were anti learning disability and anti ADHD (ironic because my mom is a school teacher). I just figured I had severe depression. My dad committed suicide so I knew some sort of mental health thing ran in my family. That was when I was two. I only remember my step dad.
The last couple of years I'd really been struggling with addiction. My parents forced me to see a psychologist. He asked me about my past and came to the diagnosis of ADHD Inattentive type pretty much immediately. It hadn't even crossed my mind. I just figured your brain being tuned to 5 different stations at once and your eyes glazing over was normal. I've been medicated for a month and oh my god I've completely got my life turned around. It truly amazes me how bad it was. My fiends forgive me for not remembering their birthdays (I always thought it was weird how my friends could remember my birthday) or how we met or anything else.
I'm really surprised no one noticed sooner. I was a textbook case. It could have saved me a lot of suicidal thoughts and emotional breakdowns from feelings of hopelessness and detachment from the world. It's like Now it's like I'm seeing the world through new eyes.
TL;DR thought I had depression, didn't know what was causing it, considered suicide, got addicted to stuff, got diagnosis, changed my life in all the right ways. | 0adhd
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I've been using public transport & really starting to actually ENJOY shopping alone! : Same time last yr I got physically ill from going out anywhere around, even to the building laundry. Exposing myself consistently to places has really helped. Took a long time of going out to actually start to feel better about it. I've been taking myself everywhere & experiencing significantly less anxiety.
As anxiety gradually went down, I made room to enjoy running errands like shopping. (Am beginning to understand retail therapy lol..) I like the feeling of independence, choice & freedom when I go into a store. This is a big deal since my anxiety comes from abusive parents that actively tried to make me dependant, convinced me I am too stupid to do simple things like shopping & shamed me for wanting to explore any choices, whether that be food, clothing or other items. The less I was interested in, the easier it was for them to be neglectful.
I had to keep consciously reminding myself that nothing matters & no one cares what I'm doing, and for months that was exhausting to keep having to do, just to complete a simple task. But the pay off has been worth it! Trained myself to finally stop caring & just do me. Am excited to progress further & go to more places. | 1anxiety
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Does anyone else just... suddenly "snap back to reality" after almost losing it? : I hate making references like this but it's the only way to explain it.
I get these episodes where I feel this physical pain in my chest whenever I start to feel down about something.
I've had it for years and it's usually about loneliness, but I don't think that's relevant.
Sometimes, the episodes make me want to break down, but then suddenly just... stop. I stop feeling anything.
The feeling just completely disappears, and I'm left feeling like, well, nothing. It's like the feeling and awful pain got sucked into a void in my chest.
It sounds kinda stupid, but I dunno, I felt like sharing this thought. Does anyone else have this feeling? | 3bpd
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Dear nobody (suicidal) : Last week I tried killing myself twice. My partner stopped the first one, and then I didn't die on the second one. I took some pills and threw them up and didn't die. I also cut my wrists last week too, after being clean for a few months.
What escalated it all is because of of introducing something into the relationship...I am hurting so much. I now have to pretend to be okay so he is happy, because all he's told me is that I am selfish and never do anything to make him happy...so it is my fault and I am a horrible human being who should just go away.
I don't know why I am even here anymore. I'm just here paying bills, just trying to make it by.
I went into the doctors today, and lied about how I'm not a danger to myself. In reality I really am. I thought about ways on killing myself. I thought about jumping off at work, but I don't think I will die on the 3rd floor. I've also thought about jumping off a hire building around where I work. I've also thought about ways to get shot too.
I am hurting, I am lying, and I want to die. | 4depression
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Who can't sleep because of anxiety attacks/depressive episodes?! : THIS GIRL. If any of you feel the same, I'm so sorry :( I'd give each of you a hug and an individual pizza. | 2bipolar
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Took the plunge : Well it's been about 20 years since I stopped taking Ritalin. I was prescribed it as a kid and absolutely hated it. Would pretend to take it and spit it out behind my bedroom door(because I'm an idiot), wouldn't report to the nurses office during school. Anything I could to not be forced a medication.
The obvious happened and school, focus, motivation took a dive, but I felt like me, like a hot knife, not a dull spoon.
But people change, their desires adapt, and mine was to finally take control of my life. Start driving instead of being a passenger.
Called my SO's doc and scheduled an appointment. The appointment was today and just a phone call. But that call was one of the hardest things I had to do, y'know how the more important the task is, the harder it is for us to get started? Really struggled but I got past it. Talked to doc, got an Adderall script, and I'm on my first dose in 20 years and I feel better already.
The fact that I typed this all out and didn't restart it 50 times before just discarding it says something.
Thanks for listening, if you're struggling it can get better, if you let it! | 0adhd
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That feeling when you are falling behind at work because of your mood swings, and the blowback of falling behind just makes your mood swings worse. : My relationship is blowing up right now. I’m failing at work. My boss pulled me off a project. My sleep is all over the place, in both space and time. I feel like I’m losing it and self sabotaging.
I have no idea what type of dating relationship would actually make me happy or with what type of person. I have no idea how to hold down a job for more than a few hours a day.
I feel stuck. I feel alone. I feel helpless.
I’m on medication and in therapy and it’s still this way. | 2bipolar
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Does anyone else feel like they might prefer lust over love? : I have a strong need to be desired and I feel like others made me feel that more than my ex did and it kind of really fucked with me and was a huge part in our break up. I feel really shitty about it.
And I mean I don't doubt that he desired and of course loved me more than anyone else did but like superficially it felt stronger from others. Can anyone relate/give advice? | 3bpd
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fuck paxil : i've been taking paxil for 3 months and i feel like the only thing it did to me was kill my sex drive and make me not care about shit at the beginning. My doctor told me to reduce my dosage of it and now I'm almost done with it, so today I decided I won't take it any fucking more (I was taking 12.5mg, reduced from 37.5 because my doctor wanted me to stop taking paxil).
I'll keep taking Lamictal, Lexapro and Seroquel but like Paxil, fuck off I hate you.
sorry if any of you have had good experiences with paxil, i haven't
just a rant | 4depression
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How to survive second semester when my depression is getting worse? : I’m absolutely miserable at my current college, an extremely small LAC in a town with nothing to do. I know I’m going to transfer, but not until next fall, and even then I’m still terrified it will be even worse. Everything is stressing me out, from classes to dance team to my sorority. I have no friends, nobody who cares about me here and I can’t stop thinking about just ending it all because right now my life seems hopeless. In high school I would always tell myself that if life gets worse in college, I just need to end it... I don’t know what to do about it anymore...
Dance team is particularly stressful because I’m on their competition team, which competes every weekend until mid March, but I’m an alternate (aka I do everything except at competitions I just have to sit and watch the team, I don’t get to perform). We practice every morning and I waste every weekend at competition, and its driving me crazy because I’m doing all this work, but if the team were to win nationals I wouldn’t want a medal or anything... because I didn’t dance... it just all feels so pointless. The team would be better off without me. But I love dancing, so I don’t know what to do... Also my sorority is a joke, our meetings are at 10pm once a week and I don’t want to go to anything anymore, no one wants me there.
I try talking to my parents and they say my only options are 1. to stick it out until the end of the semester or 2. quit dance and my sorority and just focus on classes, but I would still have to stay in the dorms (which are excruciatingly lonely) and find a job to pay back the 2,000 dollars I’d lose from my dance scholarship. Neither options seem very good...
I need help, I don’t know what to do. My mom found an appointment with a therapist but its not until March. I got put on antidepressants by my normal doctor during winter break and I don’t think its doing anything. My ideal situation would be to take the semester off and maybe work, after all I am already a year ahead with my AP credits, but my dad would never let me and my mom would feel embarrassed having a daughter living at home. I was also thinking about commuting to classes, but again, my parents would never.
Sorry for the lengthy post, I’m just freaking out because I don’t seem to have any other option. I dread everyday I wake up. I don’t want to live like this anymore. Everyone tells me to suck it up but I can’t... what should I do?? | 4depression
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i need help but can’t afford therapy (NSFW/TRIGGER WARNING) : i cant afford therapy or to see a psychiatrist but my trauma is effecting me worse and worse everyday. i’m only 18 but my mom belittles my problems and tells me i just need to pray for help and i don’t know how to handle it alone. i’m trying to recover from experiencing a school sh**ting last fall, from SA and from the death of my friend a few months ago. it’s really really hard and i have no one to talk to and i have close friends but i don’t want to trauma dump on them. i cant hardly sleep and i find myself disassociating often. it’s started to happen when i’m driving and it’s so scary because i start thinking about what’s happened and it’s like i can feel it all over again and i go into auto pilot almost?? like i’m still there but i’m not. it effects my day to day life and the smallest thing can bring me back. i think my mom doesn’t understand the severity of my symptoms because i’m very good at hiding it. just because i’m scared of being vulnerable. i can be in a big group and panicking out of my mind and nobody will know because i just disassociate so it’s rare that i have a physical/observable panic. it’s gotten worse recently and the thought that i’m going to have to live with this forever makes me have thoughts of harming myself. i don’t know what to do. and i feel like at this point i don’t know if i can even get better. it literally hurts to exists and my enjoyable moments aren’t equally weighed with my struggle | 7ptsd
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Letting someone go : Many of us have the tendency to push people away for the stupidest reasons and that is at no fault our own, but how our brains are wired. We prefer to be alone and not have to deal with what a relationship brings. Relationships causes our minds and emotions to spiral and we are in a constant loop of this craziness. A wild beast running loose inside of us. We have to make a decision to either be alone or embrace all of this and that is a decision many of us struggle with.
3 year ago, I met someone who was different. Someone who truly cared and understands my condition. He was one of the kindest person I have encountered and he made me feel on top of the world. He took care of me, he made me feel special and when I was with him, he alleviated my depression like no medication ever can. He took in my kids and treated them like they were his own. I have been in many abusive relationships but it was different being with this person, something I can't quite put my finger on but I was loving every second of it. One day something occurred, something minor that changed everything. This minor occurrence caused my mind to strive deep into this void and I decided to let this person go, going against my better judgement. This was one of my biggest mistakes I have made thus far. Like many of you, I had thought that I should be destined to be alone.
After letting this person go, I did feel better but after time I realized that for that moment of relief, I would live my whole life in agony. He has moved on but I have not. Now i'm stuck having casual hook ups with meaningless sex with people who don't give a shit about me except for my body.
Don't make the same mistake I did. If you find someone special who truly cares for you, just run with it. Everything has its ups and downs, you just need to embrace it because in the end, it will be worth it. Not to sound cliche, but we really do only live once and finding someone who truly cares is very hard to find and when you do find that special someone, don't let them go. If it is not too late, try to mend what was broken, you will thank yourself later.
Whether it be someone you're seeing, a friend or family member, don't let good people go for the sake of minor relief.
Don't let your BPD get in the way of happiness.
| 3bpd
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Entertaining history podcasts? : Anyone listen to any entertaining podcasts that dont have montone commentators? I dont want to feel like im in highschool again lol. The more discussion about wars and the technology in them, the better. | 5none
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Applying to jobs again : It's been about 4 months since I went off work from my new job at a cafe. I'm still employed there, they have been very kind, but I'm not sure I will ever be able to go back. There is so much embarrassment and shame after breaking down there all the time, and as much as I really really really want to be able to work there, I'm running out of savings and am not sure I will ever regain the courage to go back.
So, I have started applying for new jobs. I've been hesitant because the interview process can be overwhelming, and all the jobs I qualify for have to do with customer service (I don't have any special training), but I have to do it. I'm really hoping to find a job in reception or at a pet store-very different fields I know- but I think I would find those jobs the most comforting. I'm going to take it slow and apply for a couple jobs at a time before moving on, hopefully this works out because money is the biggest stressor for me right now! | 1anxiety
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Does anyone have panic attacks while getting hair / nails done? : It’s happened a few times to me before. Not every time thankfully. I have to go get my hair done in an hour and I’m feeling anxious today already. I just hate sitting there “trapped” for 2-3 hours with the tight cape around my neck. A few times ago I started panicking with the heart racing, trembling, sweating. It was so bad. I had to sit there and act like nothing was happening. I also get PVCs every day too so that doesn’t help at all. It happened last time I got my nails done too. | 1anxiety
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ruining every relation ever : i always get hurt by the SMALLEST THING or think my fp is mad at me for no logical reason and i instablock them everywhere in panic and just get mega hurt. i tell myself to stop doing this bc they wont always keep contacting me after i block them and i lost so many fp bc of it and i hate why i do this. like im trying not to but i legit just panic and push them away. i never had a long relation either bc i keep fucking everything up what do i do | 3bpd
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Boyfriend has anxiety and I don't fully understand anxiety : Hey everyone, (If I'm posting this in the wrong place please let me know)
My boyfriend (24M) and I (24M) have been dating for about 6 months. We were best friends for many years before we stated dating, even lived together for a while (all has been and still is well). We have a deep connection and understand each other in way others do not. We have a very open dialogue with each other and are not afraid to sit down and have difficult conversations. An area I feel I have a short-coming with is understanding his anxiety and how I can help or what I can do during the times he's feeling anxious, overwhelmed, etc. There are times when he just wakes up anxious (This specifically confuses me). But also, he has a bit of a darker mind and can/does go down a dark rabbit hole/thought loop which will cause him to feel quite anxious This makes sense. I can understand how it would make a person anxious. However, I don't really know what I can or should do in times like these.
\--- He says me just being around him helps for a couple reasons:
1) I'm a talkative guy. I can talk about a wall to a wall for hours and he says me talking allows him to focus on my thoughts and ideas instead of his.
2) My thoughts and ideas are usually all butterflies and rainbows (joyful and optimistic).
3) Just being there, with him, in the same room, makes him feel comfortable.
\--- Is that all I can do for him? Should we talk about what's making him anxious or no? He usually doesn't like to because it will "kill a vibe."
can somebody explain anxiety to somebody who does not fully grasp what anxiety is. I guess I'm looking for the who, what, where, when, why, how on anxiety. Please send a link if you think the response required is too lengthy or you know someone somewhere with good information and is easier to digest than a psychology course.
sincerely,
A boyfriend that cares about his boyfriend's headspace; much love everyone, Thank you
Be safe, Have fun, Spread joy | 1anxiety
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Hey guys. I fucked up and I need your help. : I have ptsd from repeated rape and sexual abuse. You can go through my posts for more details. I post here every once in a while.
I'll keep this brief because I am so sick over it. I had a flashback two nights ago. First one in years. I don't remember what happened but my husband told me last night. I said such awful things to him. Screaming and crying and I wouldn't let him touch me.
The worst part is he told me I called him a *rapist*. I apparently said this *five times.*
My husband is not a rapist. He's he most incredible man I've ever met. He takes such good care of me. We have so much fun together. He's so sweet and perfectly good and always good to me and I tore him apart for no reason. He's never seen a full blown flashback. Because I've been doing so well.
I hurt him so deeply. He forgives me but I don't forgive me. He deserves so much more than I have given him. Does anyone have any advice on how to make this right? I fucked up so bad you guys. I'm so disgusted and ashamed I would say those things. And I don't even remember. Please help me.
He says it's ok and he forgives me. But it's NOT OKAY. my diagnoses and the symptoms of it is never an excuse to hurt the ones I love. Guys I need your help bad with this. | 7ptsd
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I love this community and used it as a point of reference in my senior thesis. I gathered a lot of intel from everyone here to create a simplified overall of the experience : My senior thesis was about ADHD, an interactive scroll...but big shout out to r/ADHD at the end. My mother who has lived with me for, well, since I was born, and has only ever semi understood my ADHD even said this was helpful... so I just thought I'd share, since a lot of the research came from all of you as well as myself and those I personally interviewed.
[https://readymag.com/u1431192220/2752354/](https://readymag.com/u1431192220/2752354/) | 0adhd
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Being on edge 24/7? : For the last week I've been having this feeling on my chest like it's a mix of guilt/fear/anxiety and last time I felt like this was on summer 2020 when I was battling with POCD but right now I'm feeling the same way except the obsession is missing. I have the physical symptomps of anxiety but there's nothing on my mind making me anxious: What could this be? | 6ocd
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I’m not sure what to do. : I am a 21 year old female in college and I believe that I am having a really depressing time of my life. Some of my friendships are starting to crumble and there are a lot of things in my life that are weighing down on me hard. I hardly ever sleep and when I do I sleep for hours at a time. I’m losing my social life because all I want to do is sleep and when I’m not sleeping I’m either working or doing homework. I’m struggling with finding things to do to get me out of this hopeless feeling and I really want to turn back to alcohol and drugs to get through this. | 4depression
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Why is seeing happy/successful people so triggering? : On my freshman year of uni but didn't make any friends cuz corona. I had no idea how others were coping with school. Now that the corona situation is getting better where I live, I have to go to uni again. And it turns out I'm the only one struggling cuz everyone is so on top of their stuff and really making the best out of this shitty situation (socializing, finding intern, etc) and meanwhile I barely managed to wake up for zoom calls for these two semesters and basically gave up on school and life altogether. I didn't learn a thing the entire semester and yet I continue to procrastinate despite having three exams next month. I feel like such a phony trying to pretend that I also have my life together so they won't see me for the trash I am, when I'm actually waiting for the class to end so I can get back home and cry in my bed and proceed to do nothing to improve my current situation. I thought going back to school would help but instead it just made me realize I would never be as successful and as happy as them and I'm just a worthless stupid piece of trash with no future. | 4depression
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DAE have an atypical (little to no) reactions to others deaths, even loved one? : I don't know if I've ever cried when I was told someone I knew died. Whether it be a great grandparent when I was a child or someone I spent years with as a child/teen/young adult. I don't know if I am just so numb and shocked by learning they died but I just have no emotional reaction on the inside or outside. I don't cry. I don't react at all. In my head, I tell myself "this person will never be in your life again", I try to really make myself understand what their death means. Like they are gone forever and its such a hard concept to grasp for me that I don't have an emotional reaction I guess. I know what death is and everyone dies but its almost like my brain doesn't process it right and so I cannot react to death emotionally at all. I feel as if they were always dead or something, like nothing really has changed, or that I just accept it way too fast that I don't go through grief. Its not that I silently grief when no one's watching or am pretending to be strong, there's no emotion at all inside about it, its just like "oh, okay this is sad" but I don't feel it. Does anyone else do this? | 3bpd
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Ha! The stigma of this illness finally worked in my favor! : Sitting at the GP's office and there was an elderly couple next to me. The man was making really annoying mouth noises urgh and his wife had a real chesty sounding cough. There were no other seats or else I would have moved myself. Then another couple were called into the doctor's office. The man was watching me reading bipolar reddit. He told his wife to move and I heard the word bipolar. Maybe I'm being paranoid but hey, now I don't have to sit next to mouth noise man and his infectious sounding wife. It's the the small things.....
Edit for some typos - sorry on phone. | 2bipolar
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i wanna quit the job AGAIN : no reason for. just don't want to wake up in the morning and get out, head to office and have some meetings. nothing is wrong. and i have very much free time since i'm salesman. no job can provide that much.
i just don't want to do anything.
i need to pay over 2500$ per month for just being alive(i scammed a little hard)
and i never earned near that. everything is dept and 'family money'
Quitting is hard and living is pain. and my brain suck at both. 🤞 | 3bpd
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[TW] Does it bother you when neurotypical people say “I’m so OCD!” : I never say this, though I’m not neurotypical and I think I have mildish OCD myself. My goal here is to gather the opinions of different groups of neuro atypical and disabled folks to see what their views are on terms people use. What’s your verdict? | 6ocd
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A divorced man : A divorce man was walking on the street suddenly he saw a lamp in the middle of the road.
He picked it up and suddenly a genie poped out and said to man " you have three wishes and be careful what you will wish you ex will get double of that."
Man scratched his head and said "okay give me a $1 billion mansion."
Genie: wish fulfilled and your ex got $2 billion mansion. Now you have 2 wishes left.
Man again scratched his head and said "give $1 billion cash for my bills and other stuffs."
Genie : wish fulfilled here is the bank statement and your ex got $2billion. So what's you last wish.
Man : now I want a 8 inch d**k
LOL | 5none
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What happened to the majority of ancient Roman coins? : I read somewhere on Reddit that the most common way historians find ancient Roman coins is in hidden collections that people stumble upon. It makes sense that Roman coins aren’t in circulation anymore, but what happened to them and coins from other ancient civilizations? Was there a specific point at which they were melted down and reused as different currency, or are they lost to time? | 5none
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Dr Russell A Barkley ADHD-The 30 Essential Ideas everyone needs to know : I was watching the video of the same name as the title by Dr. Barkley, and he starts talking about how people who have primarily inattentive ADHD, aka me, are almost always do not ADHD, but SCT or Sluggish Cognitive Tempo. I just wanted to see peoples opinions of this. I feel really invalidated by what he was saying. I have at least 6 inattentive properties, but I have no hyperactive traits. I’ve fought my whole life into thinking I didn’t have ADHD at all to possibly having ADHD, and now I’m back to not having it at all. I research mental illnesses and I know something is wrong, but I rarely fit into any one box of diagnosis even by the standards of non-traditional clinicians that I read online. I just don’t know what to do anymore, and I don’t have the time or money to get assessed by a psychologist/psychiatrist/therapist.
Back to the main question though. What do you think of Dr. Barkleys assessment of primarily inattentive ADHD. | 0adhd
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Saving Myself : A wealthy, never-been-wed 80-year-old man marries a beautiful 24-year-old blonde. All of his friends agree to meet for breakfast in the same five-star hotel in which he is spending his first wedding night, just to see his reaction.
They expect him to come down for breakfast in the elevator, most likely in a wheelchair.
But to their surprise, he walks down the broad staircase looking dapper, and as refreshed as a 25-year-old man. He waves at them and sits down for coffee to await his bride’s appearance.
Forty minutes later she staggers down the stairs, barely able to walk across the marble floor to his table. His friends are shocked by her obviously physically-wrecked condition.
When the gentleman excuses himself and leisurely heads for the restroom, they rush to her to see what happened to her.
She looks up at them with a distraught face, “He told me he’s been saving up for sixty years; I thought he was talking about money!” | 5none
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Anyone else enjoy a good scream, or is it just me? : Sometimes, after an especially soul crushing conversation with someone, one of those convos where I feel insane levels of shame, pain, and anger, I try my best to not let it out in a destructive or self destructive manner. So I scream. I feel like I'm trying to evacuate my body of the pain. It doesn't always work, but sometimes, I feel like I get it out.
I'm probably being dramatic, but I wonder if anyone else does this. What are your results? | 3bpd
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The better I am at controlling the present, the easier it’ll be to shape my future : Those of us with ADHD are often overwhelmed about the future. So much that our ability to focus on the present is MIA.
I came up with this reminder last night and added it as a recurring to-do that I need to check off every day. Although I can't say it's proven, I'm sharing in hopes others might find it useful — regardless if it works for me in the long run. | 0adhd
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How did military encirclements work exactly? : Maps and documentaries about wars in history, especially about WWII, often depict these huge, sweeping encirclements, with arrows showing tanks going deep into an enemy's rear and surrounding a whole group of soldiers.
What exactly did that look like on the ground though? Were there soldiers and tanks stationed at every single point of that surrounding circle? Were they separated by a certain distance? Did they only cover roads and railways? | 5none
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How have ADHD meds affected your social life? : Hi Redditors,
I'm ADHD PI recently diagnosed last year at 30. For me, the most difficult part about having ADHD are the social side-effects.
Namely:
1. Inattentiveness, poor memory and slow processing - leads to people thinking I don't care or don't listen to them, I completely miss the whole point of the conversation and/or makes them think I'm stupid
2. No follow through - which leads to people thinking I don't care about them and don't make enough effort to maintain the friendship.
3. Paranoia and rejection sensitive dysphoria - i am constantly thinking I said something stupid and made someone feel bad and end up feeling shitty about it for hours
4. Unreasonably intense reactions to situations
5. Anxiety and overanalyzing everything makes me slow to act or not act at all
The combination of all these makes me generally less social than most people and it's really something I know I have to work at because I love the company of people, I truly do. But I can never seem to get myself off my ass to do something about it... another ADHD symptom?
I've already taken meds (vyvanse, concerta, ritalin and now strattera) with varying results but I want to hear your stories.
P.S. I know medication is not the magic pill to fix all my problems but it is immensely helpful in getting me to where I want to be. Hence this question.
TL/DR: I'm curious to know how medication has helped or not helped your social interactions with people.
| 0adhd
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for all my folks coming here to see other posts talking about false memories : DO NOT FUCKING READ THEM!!! IF YOU ARE DOUBTING YOUR THOUGHTS, BITCH THEY ARE PROBABLY FAKE!! I use to spend all of my free time on here reading and analyzing these posts, and guess what bitch. My instructive thoughts ate all of this shit up and gave me the weirdest IT I have ever had because of it. Please read with caution. It took me MONTHS to realize why I was suddenly questioning my morals and shit and then I realized I came rushing to this sub the day I realized I may suffer from OCD. | 6ocd
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Was there anyone on the US side that averted nuclear war like you hear about with the Soviet Union? : I saw the post about Vasili Arkhipov refusing to fire the nuclear torpedo and I also heard about Stanislav Petrov ignoring the early warning alarm for a nuclear missle launch. Both instances were on the Soviet Union side. It made me wonder if the US side had anything similar happen. However, I can't find any info of it happening on the US side.
Has it ever happened that we're aware of? | 5none
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Merry anxious Christmas fellow warriors! : No matter where you're at on your journey, or how you feel about your family or the holidays, or the world, try to enjoy the one day a year when everything stops and you don't need to feel guilty for not going out and doing a thing. I'm sure you've got your own things, but tomorrow is the ultimate day off. I wish you all a moment of peace in this daily struggle, you're stronger than you know and you deserve it bc I know you all bust your asses every day with this shit, whether it's a win or lose, you're still here reading this and you're not alone. Awkward hugs. But they're still hugs. | 1anxiety
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I’m scared : I have days that start normal and then the smallest thing pushes me into an almost manic state. I’m not me. I just hurt myself ( hitting head etc.) I’m scared of the person I am when it’s bad | 7ptsd
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I'm taking 22 credit hours next semester. Am I shooting myself in the foot? : I mulled over this for a long time, and after projecting the list of courses I would take for my major (computer science right now, but who knows I might change my mind AGAIN) I would need to do 6-7 courses each semester for the next 2 years to be able to graduate in 4 years, which is all I have left for financial aid since I already failed 2 years of college years ago by staying in bed depressed during those times.
I have time to drop during the add/drop period, but I have to choose my major carefully in consideration of salary potential and aptitude because of my life circumstances. Has anyone else done a full course load like this? I sometimes wish I did not have bipolar disorder. I have heard stories of people working while in college, and it saddens me that I will never be able to do that with this disorder. | 2bipolar
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How did the victims of the holocaust adjust to the rest of the world following liberation? : Been watching a lot of documentaries on the holocaust and just watched one yesterday that was specific to the events immediately following ally liberation. It showed a lot and was super interesting but I noticed all of them lacking the same thing. All the victims left the camp with nothing, most didn’t even have clothes. Were there any kind of reparations from the German government? In what ways was money earned to start living again? Was there any sort of temporary housing set up? In short, what kind of aid was there for these people to start all over again? | 5none
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My depression feels like it's creeping up on me again so thought that maybe joining Reddit would make me feel better : My depression feels like it's creeping up on me again so thought that I'd make a Reddit account and that writing down and sharing what I have been through would make me feel better and maybe even help somebody else. Here it goes.
I feel like I've always been really sensitive, but, I think my depression probably started in my last year of secondary school, and from the outside, my life looked good, I had decent grades, lots of friends, I was the captain of the basketball team, I had a low-stress part-time job, I even got a scholarship to a university. But there were days I would get home, climb into bed, and just cry till I fell asleep. Those days seemed manageable to me though, a hide in bed day once a month didn't seem like a too big deal a for me. Once school ended I took the scholarship and moved to a new city.
My first year of university was okay, still had my hide in bed days, my grades were okay, the exam stress would get to me but I made it and finished my first year of university. My second year started off well, good grades, made it into the basketball team, had a good circle of friends. The stress of uni eventually got to me and my once a month hide in bed days, become twice a month, then three times a month. Then a girl, I had "ongoing history" with slept with some other dude and that really shook me. I stayed in my room for three days after that.
After a couple of weeks, I was over the girl but I still felt so sad, I still went to class, I still went to practice, I still went out to parties, but I knew my friends could tell there was something up with me, and because of that I started to become really anxious that everybody could tell I was sad, I'd go to the library and I would start shaking because I thought that people just knew how sad I was. I started to believe that me being around sucked the happiness out of the room.
My friends eventually, convinced me to go see a counsellor at our campus. I was diagnosed with depression, put on fluoxetine, then onto sertraline, and then I had my first attempt at suicide. I was put in a mental health ward for a week, three months later I had my second attempt at suicide, I was put back into the ward for a couple of weeks, moved back in with my Mum where I had a weekly therapy session with a psychiatrist and catch-ups with a nurse every two weeks. After living with Mum for 7 months I moved out and got a full-time job.
It's been 9 months since I moved out of my Mums, it's been 7 months since I decided to stop taking my medication and I've been feeling good apart from the last couple weeks. I don't know if it's because of the virus or whatnot but I have been getting those little thoughts, like I'll look in the mirror and see that I chipped my tooth, "I better go to the dentist, that's gonna be expensive, I also gotta buy that thing for my car, I gotta get my phone fixed too, oh damn my birthday is coming up I gotta plan for that. Oh well if this all gets too much I can just kill myself" All the mundane things in life feel like their piling up on me and my first thought in my head is "oh well if it gets too much just kill yourself."
I'm not too sure what I expect to happen with this post but writing all this down has already made me feel better. | 4depression
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Screaming in my head : I'm spiralling again. The screaming in my head is driving me crazy. It's been going on for more than 2 weeks and it's only getting louder with each passing day. I've not self-harmed in months, but the urge is overwhelming me now.
On some level I know I'm making the decision to go down this self-destructive path again simply because it's "safe". It's so comforting and familiar.
There's a part of me that wants to destroy, but there's also another part that wants to heal. I'm just not sure which part is going to win this time.
Self-destruction is my armour. It gives me a semblance of control and protects me from life. How do I find the courage and strength to face life? | 3bpd
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does anyone else experience rage over little annoyances? why? : I get really angry at certain things that make no sense. I keep trying to figure it out but I don't know why. does anyone else become nearly uncontrollably filled with rage at these things?: sitting too close to me on an empty bus, getting on a stair master beside me when there are ten others to choose from, sitting in front of me in an empty movie theatre, when I drop and break something, when I fumble, or trip (especially if someone reacts like say oops etc.) when someone enters the room while I'm writing something, if someone sits near me while I'm eating, when someone eats too quickly, or stuffs their face, if I hit my head on something. most people would consider these minor bummers, If even notice them at all. whats the deal? | 3bpd
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Jesus christ my dad is so anxiety inducing : He just casually talks about terrifying scenarios like they’re a given and it makes my anxiety spike every time. Like, I’ll tell him that I was put on a callback list because I missed a doctors appointment and they’re booked, and he’ll say “oh, will they not see you anymore?” And in my head I start thinking, “wait, would they seriously just bar me from visiting that doctor because I missed an appointment??” And my mind starts running and I start freaking out and hating myself for missing it, and I have a mini panic attack until my mind works through the plausibility of that and the fact that the person on the phone most certainly did not say anything that would even resemble rejecting me from seeing them. And he does this almost every time I talk to him. I can’t even think of how to address this problem. It makes it so hard to talk to my dad. And I can’t just ignore him, since I still need his help occasionally, and even if I didn’t, I wouldn’t want to just cut him out like that. | 1anxiety
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Tw suicide: a customer told me "thanks for everything" because I was quick with their parcel and ahead of schedule thid morning : But that is also the last thing she told me before she killed herself almost a decade ago. Fuck. I haven't cried in fucking years and this happenned and it was like a fucking scab being ripped off too early. I sound so fucking stupid, if I told anyone about this they would probably laugh at me. | 7ptsd
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Why doesn't Pinterest have an ADHD mode? : I just need a button to tell their algorithm I only obsessed over pictures of sloths for one night. Yes, I pinned 63 images of sloths. I don't know why and I don't need anymore. Today I just want to pretend I will bake beautiful cupcakes. I won't actually make them, so tomorrow I need you to forget I asked. But I did just eat 5 storebought cupcakes, so if you want to plan ahead there's a good chance I'll be asking for easy 5 minute workouts tomorrow. No promises, though. | 0adhd
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I don't know what to do with my life anymore : Hi everyone! This is my first time posting here on Reddit. So I've been diagnosed with OCD when I was 14 and I just started therapy this year. Now I'm 18 and I'm really stuck in my life. The obsessive thoughts and compulsions really are a pain to live with. The mood swings are literally the worst and I've been in depression for around 2 months with some days of being an elated mood or whatever. I'm really tired of life and I just want to commit suicide. Nothing has gone right for me and my exams are approaching but I'm so exhausted mentally and physically that I don't even have enough strength to get up and do anything about it. I have to give one of the most difficult entrance exams in my country and I don't know shit about it. Eminem has helped me a lot in my life. His songs are the only reason why I keep on trying but I'm at the end now. I'm ashamed of being me. I hope I die soon due to some "natural cause". In the end, I'm just a burden to my family and this world. I don't even want to type anymore, so thanks for hearing my rant I'll just end it here.
Edit: Thank you everyone for you comments. I really appreciate it. | 6ocd
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Why is Jan Žižka the “One-Eyed General” so under-appreciated in modern historical texts and videos? : Jan Žižka was the military leader of the Hussites in the 15th century (specifically the Táborité Hussites and later the Sirotci Hussites,) and used innovative tactics to hold off three crusades. After that his tactics were used to hold off two more even after his death. For most of this he was without one of his eyes and towards the last moments of his life he was completely blind. He had never lost a battle, and his most famous victory had him outnumbered seven to one. I would easily consider him one of the best generals in history. So why is he never mentioned anywhere? We learned about him in our Czech education system, however, he isn’t mentioned anywhere else, and it’s hard to find any dedicated information about him unless you specifically search for it or already know his name. He is completely overlooked by most mayor historical channels, kept out of books from the era and generally just forgotten or unmentioned. Why? If anyone here has some thoughts or something to share, please do, I find it an interesting subject. Thank you. | 5none
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For a little chuckle, I'd love a weekly "My ADHD Moment" thread : We all occasionally have that absurd incident attributed to our ADHD that we can't help but laugh about, even if only in retrospect. It's fun to share these, but after a while people get tired of the frequent "DAE ___" or "ADHD is when ___" threads that beat out the more meaningful posts.
For a nice middle-ground, I think it might be fun to have a weekly dedicated thread where each person can comment about that ridiculous incident that happened recently. The moments that we can all relate to and commiserate about with a [sensible chuckle](https://media3.giphy.com/media/9EwnzGNjvmIG4/giphy.gif).
Just a random thought! | 0adhd
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I’m tired of it all : I’m just really tired. When I let people in, I give so much in return and don’t expect anything in return. But I need so much love and care, is that too much to ask for? I couldn’t give two shits about anything materialistic anyone can bring/give me, I just want to be loved the way I love. I’m so fucking tired of being there for people and no ones there for me. I’m not the type of person that can do big things on their own, unfortunately. I’m such a kind person and I fucking hate myself for the excess of emotions I have. Any and every little thing can affect me more than what I make it seem. Yea, sometimes I do wish I didn’t exist. I don’t bother telling anyone this as I don’t want anyone to worry. I’m tired of being tired and caring too much. It gets in the way of life and it feels like I’ve died before experiencing death itself. | 1anxiety
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How do you actually stick to your hobbies? : I’m a creative. I love experimenting with new mediums and/or finding new crafts to try. But, as you can guess, this is an issue because of hyperfixation. I get hooked, get really into it for a few weeks, then the supplies gather dust. This is just an example, it’s really an issue with any new discipline/hobby I try. Learning French, for instance. Practiced every day for 3 weeks, then…. totally lost interest.
Has anyone figured out how to actually stick to their hobbies in general? I feel like it’s a common problem | 0adhd
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Got 10-20 minutes to take a survey for research on online mental-health forums? (mod approved) : **Update: I have reached my target number of responses, so I likely won't be able to add more names to the raffle if you start the survey after this point. Thank you so much for your support with this,** r/BPD. **As a subreddit you contributed over 170 complete responses to the survey. I'll start analyzing this data as soon as possible and will post here once I have something written up summarizing what we've learned. Again, I'm really grateful for all of your help with this, I never imagined this positive of a response.**
Hi everyone,
I am a Ph.D. student at the University of California, Irvine, studying the roles that online mental health communities play in users' lives. The goal of my research is to produce actionable insights towards improving spaces like r/BPD and the wellbeing of their members. I am posting to ask you to take my survey about your experiences and observations as members of an online mental health community.
The survey will take about 10-20 minutes to complete and everyone who takes it will be entered in a raffle for a $100 gift card (with a 1/100 chance of winning). Also, it doesn't ask for any information that would reveal your identity. You can take the survey here: [https://uci.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV\_5BAtknr01mbxa29](https://uci.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_5BAtknr01mbxa29)
I very much appreciate your attention and collaboration. Please don’t hesitate to DM me if you have any questions!
Thank you,
Benji | 3bpd
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Can anybody relate? : I’ve been depressed for years now but about a year ago I developed a routine of numbness. Everyday is just a day, no feelings just trying to make it to the next day. I struggle to concentrate and motivate myself to doing better career wise and in my personal life. I also struggle with anxiety, If I even go out grocery shopping I feel that everything isn’t real or sometimes I get anxious but at end of the night I zone out into this dark place where I feel alone, back into depression. I’ve given up, I have no interest in anything I’m just trying to stay alive at this point. I should be happy with what I have since I do consider myself fortunate to have what I have but I’m not I’m just laying around watching the clock never stop. I’m not sure how to pull myself out, I’m not asking anyone to do it for me just asking if anyone relates? | 4depression
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Does anyone here feel internal trembly, as if body isn’t relaxed and is on edge all day long? : Idk what to do my body is trembling all day and not relaxed. I can’t even sit in peace:( does anyone experience this and why does this happen even when I’m not anxious? | 1anxiety
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Best new job ever : Just wanted to share an epiphany I had while at work today.
I've been a card dealer in a popular casino for a little over a month now and I've noticed my moods and overall well being has greatly improved and I figured out why.
100% focus and sensory overload. When I'm on the floor there is literally nothing else I can think about other than the cards. Pair that with the flashing lights, slot sounds, and people moving around my brain is 100% occupied in the moment. Not dwelling on past events, not worrying about the future, not obsessing over my FP. My sneaky unwanted thoughts can't even show up when I'm working.
I think I found my heaven and its in the strangest of places.
Just wanted to share! | 3bpd
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Yeaahh I Dont Know : My mind fog is so bad that I can't come up with a title for this lmao. I'm in this weird state between depressed and manic. I dont feel interested in friendships and relationships. I'm kind of unable to hold conversations (I cant think of how to reply to people because my mind is racing). I give up opportunities to meet new people or jump into a conversation because what's the point. I'm not sad, but I'm not happy.I feel numb I guess, kind of like I'm just existing, and it feels like I'm dying. Does anyone else experience this? | 2bipolar
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Sunny days : Sunny days can sometimes be triggering for me. It makes me kind of jealous seeing all these people walking and hanging out together enjoying the nice day. It reminds of when I was kid and actually had friends to hang out with and play in the yard with. I wish I at least had a dog to walk. I would love to walk with a cute doggy! But, I have no one so I usually just walk by myself, which is nice for a while, but then gets lonely. I can’t remember the last time I hung out with a friend, it’s been at least 8 years or so since I had any type of friendship. This is weird because I usually like being alone and being outside in the sun should cheer me up, but, I guess not today. | 4depression
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I’m not satisfied with the world, but I really hate the whole “mental illness is only because of society and capitalism” hot take : If I lived in Paradise I would still find something to obsess over. Sure, stressors put on by workload that our society demands, lack of social interaction etc. very often amplifies it. The relationship between social factors and pure genetics and brain chemistry is complex.
But please, stop ignoring medical science because you want to earn internet points by dunking on capitalism.
Also, anxiety and depression aren’t the only mental illnesses. | 6ocd
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Good book suggestions about Central and South America : Was looking for a good colonial/post colonial book on central and South America. Something that might be chunked chapter by chapter so I can pick it up and put it down over time. Any suggestion is welcome. Thanks in advance.
| 5none
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I got the job! : I posted yesterday, had dropped off my resume despite feeling anxious. Got a call 20 minutes ago saying I got the job and I start Monday! My day is made. So much stress and weight has just melted off my shoulders. Also the job is super close to where I live. The job is dishwashing but jobs a job right? LETS GOO GUYS. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO! | 1anxiety
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What do you do when you're sick of your own shit but can't seem to stop it? : Hey all. It's 6:30AM, I've been up since about ~12PM yesterday, and in all that time spent awake I've managed to accomplish one (1) minute and ten seconds of work, according to my work timer. I couldn't even tell you what I've been doing all day. I wish I could say I was hyperfocusing on something useful, so even if I didn't get any work done I at least learned something new or read something inspiring. I think I played video games for a bit and looked at stickers on Redbubble for about two hours, but that's all I can remember.
Oh, and I downloaded Habitica. I've got daily planners and timetables and focus apps coming out of my ears - none of which seem to work - but maybe *this* is the app that'll finally fix my problems and get me all sorted out. /s
I was supposed to start an illustration today, buuut I didn't. Needed to sort out some finances - didn't. Had to take a shower, couldn't even manage that. And it's not just today either; I've been putting off this illustration all week. I've had ages to do it and I know as soon as I finish it, I'll have to do another one, and I'll never be able to work hard enough and focus for long enough to create an illustration buffer. I'll always be treading water and just barely keeping my head above.
Sorry, this turned into a rant but I'm pretty frustrated with myself right now, as I'm sure you can infer. The worst part is, I can *see* myself fucking around and wasting time but I can't seem to stop. I've got focus apps and website blockers and to-do lists on my phone and browser and paper post-its on my desk, but they don't... do anything. The focus apps get ignored, the website blockers get turned off, the to-do lists and post-its gather dust. I'm on meds as well (35mg dexamphetamine) but I don't think they do anything either.
I feel broken. Nothing that's supposed to help me helps me. And I know I'm self-sabotaging by turning apps off and ignoring alerts, but I don't know why I'm doing that, why I can't stick with it. I'm just so sick of myself, I'm so annoyed that I keep doing this, *every day* I do this shit, and I can't stop, I seem *physically unable* to stop myself from slacking off. And it's exhausting. I'm so, so tired of having to fight myself every fucking day to do these basic life tasks. Most days I lose, too.
So, like... what do you do? What *can* you do when nothing seems to work? How do you stop yourself from being your own worst enemy? How can you pull yourself together for just *one goddamn day*? I have no idea what to do, or how to make stuff work, or how to stick with things until they *do* work. It feels like I'm lost in the woods, and these lists and apps and meds are like maps to help me find my way out, but the problem is that I can't read them. They're meaningless to me, and thus useless as tools to help me navigate through the darkness.
**TL;DR:** I keep procrastinating and wasting time, and I lack the ability to care enough about it to stop. I can't make apps and lists work for myself and meds don't seem to do anything either. It's frustrating and I'm so fuckin' tired of this. What can you do when it feels like there's nothing left to do? | 0adhd
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Incredibly bored with life : I don't know how to best explain this feeling I have all the time, but extreme boredom comes kinda close. Dissatisfaction with everything.
I often hate my life so much, because I feel like I'm never satisfied by anything. I never feel truly happy, truly stimulated, by daily life. Waking up, walking dogs, school, work, watching tv, eating, going to bed; it's a continous loop that makes me so very sick. I crave more, and because I don't have the motivation to go find more exciting things I just feel like I could might as well be dead.
I'm so bored, so disappointed, so unmotivated, that lying down and just dying seems like a good alternative. What do i even do about this? Help. | 0adhd
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How to recover from overwhelming shame and self loathing when you make a mistake : I'm having the worst week at work, and every day I find a new way to make careless mistakes because of my ADHD. I'm combined type but I lean more towards innatentiveness.
Where I work, the day is scheduled in hour long blocks and each hour slot shows what that staff member should be doing. I always have my lunch at 1 on Saturdays and the only time my lunch changes is when I have a program to lead. Today I looked at the schedule and swore I saw that my lunch was at 1. I got back from lunch and got an email from my boss saying that I threw off the whole schedule and caused her to not have her lunch hour.
I feel awful and I just want to go home and hide under my blanket and never come out. How can I stop my lizard brain from convincing me that I'm a terrible person? Side note: I currently attend therapy on a weekly basis to help me with my severely low self-esteem. | 0adhd
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Would it be extremely weird to ask my hairdresser to not chat with me during appointment tomorrow because I have anxiety? : It's my first appointment at this place
It's in a very small town
I haven't gotten my hair cut in over a year because it stresses me out so much when they chat with me | 1anxiety
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Why didn't Spain declare war on Germany in 1944 or 1945? : It's obvious why Spain didn't join the Allies throughout the rest of WW2, but after the recapture of Paris I struggle to see any reason why Spain wouldn't have joined Allies.
Early in the war, Spain had too many ties to Germany to make a war declaration really viable. There was a lot of trade, which is beneficial to Spain, and a few thousand Spanish volunteers were fighting on the Eastern Front. Also, the Pyrennes border would have been overrun by the much more experienced and numerous German Army. Additionally, there was the potential that Spain would gain land in a German victory.
However, none of those are factors by late 1944.
* France was liberated, and Spain no longer shared a border with Germany. Safe to say, the threat of Germany invasion was now nullified completely, and overland trade between the two countries was impossible.
* The Blue Division was abolished in March, so there was no longer any official Spanish presence on the eastern front that Germany could hold ransom.
* The war was undeniably won by the allies, so maintaining friendly relations with Germany would only be an issue going forward.
Meanwhile, the advantages of declaring war on Germany/Japan in 1944/45:
* Joining the United Nations and preventing diplomatic isolation post-war.
* Greater trade more with the allies. For example, using Spanish warships to protect convoys would surely guarantee greater access to U.S. oil trade.
* There is precedent of countries declaring war on Germany/Japan in 1945 just to be a part of the new world order (United Nations), Turkey being the biggest and most obvious example. The country was neutral up until the very end of WW2, and then became a major U.S. ally and member of NATO. Spain is similarly a country in a unique strategically valuable position, and so its relatively easy to imagine a situation where Spain joins NATO in the 50s as well. (especially if Spain joins the allies before Roosevelt dies, as he was much more sympathetic than Truman). Other countries which similarly joined the war in 1945 and became a part of the United Nations: Lebanon, Syria, Venezuela, Uruguay, Chile, etc, etc.
* Spain joining the allies would have discredited the [Spanish Republican government-in-exile](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spanish_Republican_government_in_exile), causing a drop of support for the Republican government and forcing all other allies to formally establish relations with the government in Madrid.
* Unlikely but it could have resulted in [Tangier](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tangier_International_Zone) remaining in Spanish hands if Spain sent significant forces against Germany or Japan to merit reward.
Potentially, allied nations (especially France and the recognisers of the exiled Spanish Republic) could have turned down Spanish help but I don't see that as particularly likely overall, especially if Roosevelt is still President (and not the more anti-Spanish Truman). Spain is still in a strategically valuable position, a supplier of key resources like tungsten, and would be operating the only operational allied war industry on the continent, which could be helpful for supply lines.
So, what gives?
Edit: "Because ideology" is a weak answer. Nothing in geopolitics or international relations is ever done "because ideology". I was wondering if there were any concrete reasons. Edit2: Lol at people saying the Cold War as a counterexample. I'm sure all the economic benefits/threats of that period were pure coincidence.
Edit2: God damn this thread's gone to shit. I'm disabling inbox replies so I don't get more messages calling me a 13 year old or an anime fan - genuine insults I've received just for thinking Franco's IR was more complicated than "democracies/commies bad, fascists good." From what I could tell from the good answers, the answer is the following:
* Internal politics. Franco's position was precarious and declaring war, even symbolically, would have been fuel to his internal enemies both high and low. It would have beeen counter to the Spanish propaganda, which claimed the war would last years longer, and that Spain looked to Germany for guidance. It also would have countered the popularity Franco built by keeping his country out of the war.
* Franco's personal belief that the western allies would turn against the USSR immediately after the war, and so Spain had no real reason to appease the western allies.
Thanks to /u/porphyrogenitaAC and /u/Mowgli_78 for providing sources. | 5none
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Cold War Stories: Project Iceworm, the U.S underground Ice city and Missile Base. (The Real Hoth) : Sometimes reality is crazier than fiction, and this is one of those times. We all like star wars, some even wish it was real. Well, if you are one of those people, which I am, then you'll be happy to know that the massive base Hoth is real. Well, sort off. Read on to find out about the secret military Ice Base which is slowly destroying the world after 56 years.
Its the sixties and the cold war is booming. If you don't know what the cold war is, this sub-Reddit isn't for you. Both sides did crazy things, (Huge nuclear disaster in Russia-https://www.reddit.com/r/history/comments/5fdj8m/cold_war_stories_the_third_worse_nuclear_disaster/) but this really takes it to the next level. The US were looking for somewhere to secretly hide missiles outside the US and near Russia, so in the first moments of world war 3, they could strike first. They settled on Greenland. They decided to build a system of tunnels 4,000 kilometres in length, and planned to store up to 600 nuclear missiles. The missiles would be hidden under the Greenland ice sheet, thus being hidden from Russian spy planes. The base was called Camp Century and even had its own nuclear power plant.
The US's official reason, which they told the public and Denmark, was that: it was to test various construction techniques under arctic conditions, to find any problems with their new semi-mobile nuclear reactor and for key scientific research in Artic conditions. The tunnels had to have places for the inhabitants to live and be entertained. They contained: A gym, a hospital, a shop, a theatre and even a church. The amount of inhabitant which worked at Camp Centenary was about 200 staff. Water was actually supplied from melting glaciers which was then checked for germs and old, frozen in time, diseases. This suggests that the camp could of been self-sustainably. The whole Camp was planned to take up 52,000 square miles roughly three times the size of Denmark.
All good things must come to an end though, and Camp Century came to a rather disappointing one, not a huge battle like Hoth. The main problem with Century was that the ice it was built in kept moving and the tunnels required constant maintenance. Tonnes of ice had to be moved from the tunnels which needed to be worked on to stop them from collapsing. They needed this because the tunnels kept expanding and shrinking. This constant maintenance wasn't worth it and it was too dangerous, so they left it abandoned in 1967, just after 3 years of building.
All is not over though. When they evacuated the Camp they took the reactor but little else. This meant that low-level radioactive water, diesel fuel and toxic compounds called p.b.c's are in the base, frozen underground, now, even when your reading this. This would all be ok if climate change wasn't a thing. Because of the heating, the Ice cap is melting. Nothing has happened yet but scientists predict that the toxic chemicals will be released into the environment by the end of the century (kinda of ironic, right). No one has stepped up to solve this problem, not even the US, and with Trump in power, I doubt they will.
This is probably the coldest place the cold war was "fought at" which is what drew my attention. If you have any thoughts or extra information about Project Iceworm I would love to hear them in the comments and discuss them with you. I would also be really thankful for an up vote if you found this interesting as it took me a lot of time. This is the second instalment and I hope to do more Cold War Stories. Thanks for reading!
| 5none
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I wish I had taken care of my PTSD sooner. : I got diagnosed with PTSD after coming home from a wilderness program when I was 16. Because of the nature of the trauma, I wasn’t really able to understand what had happened to me. Don’t get me wrong, I knew that my behavior was off. I couldn’t really socialize anymore and I would recoil at everything. My appetite was pretty bad. I was angry all the time. I felt this “stress” I couldn’t describe (hypervigilance), and I had nightmares like no other. I also had newfound knack for being sadistic and antagonistic towards others, and sort of enjoying it. I would go through periods of time where I felt that nothing was real. And of course, I now felt like the world was going to end tomorrow. Despite all of the glaringly obvious red flags, just thought I was playing the victim because the program had been “hard” and I “didn’t like doing hard things”, and that I needed to toughen up. I completely ignored what had happened and tried to resume my normal life. I did not go to therapy, aside from a few Telehealth EMDR sessions. I tried to talk to my parents about it, but because they were in part at fault for what happened, they were still in denial.
Four years later and I live in a hole now. I don’t think my brain ever really left that place. I have no friends because of how fearful of other people I am. I can’t really go to college because of how poor my mental health is. Since coming home I have developed ARFID, I can only eat one meal a day without a major hassle. I don’t get ready when I go out. I spend my days pacing and fidgeting. I look in the mirror and I don’t recognize my face very well. Everything is a reminder, being alive is a reminder. My brain feels like it’s been scrubbed with steel wool.
Back when the trauma first began, I had a small window of opportunity where I could have ran a saw blade through my stomach. My mind goes back and forth about weather or not I made the right choice, and to this day I’m not so sure I did. I do not wish to be dramatic, I simply want the idea of dying to stop taunting me. | 7ptsd
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Anyone else worried about time? : Feels like wasting time by not doing anything and can't change it.And when I think of doing something I just procrastinate and later on same thing continues.And by worrying over time,I'm also worried of growing up and having to look after myself.Then im worried about all kind of diseases that could come when you grow old.Also by growing up I'm also worried about how I'm supposed to take care of myself and worried about how I would live in this world. | 1anxiety
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I swear everyone hates me : Curious if anyone else here experiences this.
I am constantly assuring myself that nobody likes me or wants to know me. Especially at work. Depending on how my coworkers interact with me, I will think they don’t like me and that really affects me.
Anyone else? | 2bipolar
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How "realistic" were the post-WWI borders? : I know it sounds strange, but in my opinion, those borders were (mostly) unprecedented in history, especially in Central-Europe. If you were a well-informed historian in the days after the surrender of the Central Powers, what kind of countries/borders would you expect based on your studies and general knowledge? | 5none
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Anger : Does anyone else just become so angry that they are sad as well?
Idk
It’s just tough seeing them continue on, no consequences for what they did
I’m angry, livid, but sad
It’s like a blue flame - the hottest part of the flame but it’s small and sad
Feeling are confusing
People say that medication makes them feel like a zombie sometimes. I think I feel that. Like I’m just on autopilot. | 7ptsd
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