nodemixaholic/text-of-the-net · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 1 1.14M ⌀
Looks like scary Terry's having a nightmare.
Oh, boy, Rick. I can only imagine what horrible things must, you know scare Scary Terry.
Oh, no! I'm late to class, bitch! Oh, no! I'm not wearing any pants!
Oh, uh, um ... "Bitch."
Yeah, this is a bunch of bullcrap. Who cares what stupid pun you make when you kill someone? Why don't you let the poor guy say whatever he wants?
You're putting too much pressure on yourself, scary Terry. You know, I mean, y-you're perfectly scary enough as it is.
Hey, yo, scary T., don't even trip about your pants dawg. Here's a pair on us, fool.
Aww, bitch. I don't know what to say.
You don't need to say anything. We got you, dawg.
You're our boy, dawg. Don't even trip.
Oh, hey, it's you guys!
If you guys ever need anything, just say the word.
As a matter of fact, Terry, there is something you could help us with.
I always hated that song!
These halves don't belong together, bitch!
Sex is sacred!
This is because you don't give Morty Smith good grades, bitch!
Holy crap! God damn! I know one thing for sure I'm giving Morty an "A" in math, and that's my idea. That is an original thought.
What the hell?
Out of the frying pan dot, dot, dot, huh, Morty?
Oh, man, what's going on?
Well, it's possible that your dog became self-aware and made modifications on the cognition amplifier, then turned on Jerry, Beth, and Summer after learning about humanity's cruel subjugation of his species, but your guess is as good as mine, Morty.
I can't believe how mean snuffles got just because he's smart.
This is why I choose to get C's.
Psst, Beth, Jerry, Summer.
- Dad! - Rick!
If we hurry we can set up camp in a sewer tunnel or something before the dogs completely take over.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. We're not going anywhere. This is my house. I'm not abandoning it.
It's all over, Jerry. The dogs are on a path to total world domination. But, hey, at least they know not to piss on your carpet, right?
Wait a minute. I have an idea. Gentlemen, a moment of your time. See that? I'm peeing all over your special guns. That means I own them.
Bad person. Bad.
Ooh, great plan, Jerry.
Bring the boy to me. You were always kind to me, Morty. That's why I will leave you with your testicles. From now on, you will be my best friend and live by my side.
Th-thanks, snuffles.
Begin phase two.
Mmm. Thank you, Fido. Rick! I thought you were dead!
No, no, no, I was just playing dead. Good news, though, Morty. This whole thing's gonna be over really soon.
What?
It's a dream, Morty. We're in your dog's dream. The night the dogs captured us, after you cried and crapped your pants, we all went to sleep. Then I used my dream inceptors to put the two of us inside snuffles' dream.
But I-it's been like a whole year!
It's been six hours. Dreams move one one-hundredth the speed of reality, and dog time is one-seventh human time. So, you know, every day here is like a minute. It's like "Inception," Morty, so if it's confusing and stupid, then so is everyone's favorite movie.
Aw, man. I really liked this life. Well, at least I didn't really crap my pants.
No, no, that happened before you went to sleep, Morty. You're sleeping in your crap right now. Out of all the things that happened to you, that was the only real thing that, you know, is that you crapped your pants. I mean, it's a mess out there. I got some on my hands, Morty, and then I got it on the dream inceptor, and a piece fell in my mouth.
Aw, man, geez! Seriously?
Look, d-d-d-don't worry about it, Morty. Here, here take these, Morty. Take these.
Are these pills supposed to wake me up, or something?
Close. It's gonna make your kidneys shut down.
What?!
It's necessary for the plan, Morty. Don't even trip, dawg.
Anything. Anything for my precious Morty.
To hell with my kingdom, bean counter. I would trade it all for my human's health and happiness.
We are not them! We are not them.
Taking over the human's world will lead to nothing but more heartbreak, more cruelty. Instead, we will go to a new world and colonize it with a society of intelligent dogs, one that will not make the same mistakes as humanity and one where pet insurance will be mandatory.
I'm gonna miss you, snowball.
You can call me snuffles, Morty, and I'm going to miss you, too, very much.
Jerry?
I'm sorry. It's just like the end of "Old Yeller.
Oh, Jerry. You mean because it had dogs in it.
Wow! A whole world populated by intelligent dogs. I wonder what it'll be like, Rick.
I think it will be great, Morty. You know it could be developed in-into a very satisfying project for people of all ages. I mean, I'd watch it, Morty, for at least 11 minutes a pop. You know, may-maybe they'll do it board-driven.
You know, that's a real comforting idea, Rick.
What do you know, Morty? What do you know?
Oooh! This is how you dream, bitch.
Principal Vagina here, don't let the name fool you, I'm very much in charge, reminding you that tonight is our annual flu season dance. I don't know how many times I have to say this but if you have the flu, stay home, the flu season dance is about awareness, not celebration. You don't bring dead babies to Passover.
Ohhh. Okay, here we go. H-Heyy Jessica, ughh.
What's up Morty?
Ugghh
What are you doing?
Ummm
Wait, wait, Were you about to talk... to her?
Well, I mean, I was thinking about it.
Dude, Stay in your league! Look at how hot she is! You don't see me going to a bigger school, in a wealthier district and hittin' on their prettiest girl!
Gee, thanks, Brad.
I throw balls far. You want good words, date a languager.
Eh, Try not to worry about it, Morty. You're a good kid, and there's not a premium on that right now, but you'll be getting girls sometime after Brad's out of shape.
You're missing the point, Dad. I don't want girls, I want Jessica!
Ahhh, well, I remember feeling that way about a young lady named your mom, and that's not an urban dis, your mom was my Jessica. I remember the first time I saw her, I thought...
I should get her pregnant, then she'll have to marry me.
I beg your pardon, Rick, INAPPROPRIATE.
Sorry, please proceed with your story about banging my daughter in high school. I'm not sure you want to take romantic advice from this guy, Morty, his marriage is hanging from a thread.
My marriage is fine, thank you.
Jerry, it's your house, whatever you say it is is how it is, but I think a blind man could see that Beth is looking for the door. I barely have a reason to care and even I noticed.
Come on, Rick, don't talk about my parents like that.
Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call "love" is a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it, your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science.
Alright, well, I'm gonna go get dressed for the dance.
Yeah, I'm just going to...check on your mom.
Morty, hand me that screwdriver, huh? I'm almost finished making my ionic defibulizer, Morty. It's gonna be great.
Hey, listen, Rick. You know how you said that, you know... love is a chemical and all that stuff from earlier? Well, I was thinkn', you know, www... could you make some sort of chemical thing happen inside of Jessica's mind, you know, so where she falls in love with me and all that sort of thing, you know, like maybe make some sort of love potion or something?
Morty, that's such a poor use of my time, it's beneath me. Hand me the screwdriver.
YOU KNOW WHAT, NO RICK! I'M NOT GONNA HAND YOU THE SCREWDRIVER! Uh, I'm never gonna hand you anything ever again, Rick. I'm always helping you with this and that and the other thing. Www...what about me, Rick? Www... why can't you just help me out once, once, for once?
You're growing up fast, Morty. You're growing into a real big thorn straight up into my ass! Listen, this is called oxytocin. I extracted it from a vole. You know what a VOLE is, Morty, you know what a vole is?
It's a, it's a rodent that mates for life, Morty. This is the chemical release in the mammal's brain, ...that makes it fall in love. Alright Morty, I just gotta combine it with some of your DNA.
Oh well, okay...
A hair, Morty, I need one of your hairs! This isn't Game Of Thrones.
Oww!
Alright, Morty, whoever you smear this stuff on will fall in love with you, and only you, forever. Ya happy now, Morty?
Heck yeah! Thank you, Grandpa Rick! Hey there's no dangers or anything or side effects, right?
Www.. what am I, a hack?! Go nuts, Morty, it's full proof.
Ugh, unless she has the flu.
Beth, do you still love me?

Looks like scary Terry's having a nightmare.

Oh, boy, Rick. I can only imagine what horrible things must, you know scare Scary Terry.

Oh, no! I'm late to class, bitch! Oh, no! I'm not wearing any pants!

Oh, uh, um ... "Bitch."

Yeah, this is a bunch of bullcrap. Who cares what stupid pun you make when you kill someone? Why don't you let the poor guy say whatever he wants?

You're putting too much pressure on yourself, scary Terry. You know, I mean, y-you're perfectly scary enough as it is.

Hey, yo, scary T., don't even trip about your pants dawg. Here's a pair on us, fool.

Aww, bitch. I don't know what to say.

You don't need to say anything. We got you, dawg.

You're our boy, dawg. Don't even trip.

Oh, hey, it's you guys!

If you guys ever need anything, just say the word.

As a matter of fact, Terry, there is something you could help us with.

I always hated that song!

These halves don't belong together, bitch!

Sex is sacred!

This is because you don't give Morty Smith good grades, bitch!

Holy crap! God damn! I know one thing for sure I'm giving Morty an "A" in math, and that's my idea. That is an original thought.

What the hell?

Out of the frying pan dot, dot, dot, huh, Morty?

Oh, man, what's going on?

Well, it's possible that your dog became self-aware and made modifications on the cognition amplifier, then turned on Jerry, Beth, and Summer after learning about humanity's cruel subjugation of his species, but your guess is as good as mine, Morty.

I can't believe how mean snuffles got just because he's smart.

This is why I choose to get C's.

Psst, Beth, Jerry, Summer.

- Dad! - Rick!

If we hurry we can set up camp in a sewer tunnel or something before the dogs completely take over.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. We're not going anywhere. This is my house. I'm not abandoning it.

It's all over, Jerry. The dogs are on a path to total world domination. But, hey, at least they know not to piss on your carpet, right?

Wait a minute. I have an idea. Gentlemen, a moment of your time. See that? I'm peeing all over your special guns. That means I own them.

Bad person. Bad.

Ooh, great plan, Jerry.

Bring the boy to me. You were always kind to me, Morty. That's why I will leave you with your testicles. From now on, you will be my best friend and live by my side.

Th-thanks, snuffles.

Begin phase two.

Mmm. Thank you, Fido. Rick! I thought you were dead!

No, no, no, I was just playing dead. Good news, though, Morty. This whole thing's gonna be over really soon.

What?

It's a dream, Morty. We're in your dog's dream. The night the dogs captured us, after you cried and crapped your pants, we all went to sleep. Then I used my dream inceptors to put the two of us inside snuffles' dream.

But I-it's been like a whole year!

It's been six hours. Dreams move one one-hundredth the speed of reality, and dog time is one-seventh human time. So, you know, every day here is like a minute. It's like "Inception," Morty, so if it's confusing and stupid, then so is everyone's favorite movie.

Aw, man. I really liked this life. Well, at least I didn't really crap my pants.

No, no, that happened before you went to sleep, Morty. You're sleeping in your crap right now. Out of all the things that happened to you, that was the only real thing that, you know, is that you crapped your pants. I mean, it's a mess out there. I got some on my hands, Morty, and then I got it on the dream inceptor, and a piece fell in my mouth.

Aw, man, geez! Seriously?

Look, d-d-d-don't worry about it, Morty. Here, here take these, Morty. Take these.

Are these pills supposed to wake me up, or something?

Close. It's gonna make your kidneys shut down.

What?!

It's necessary for the plan, Morty. Don't even trip, dawg.

Anything. Anything for my precious Morty.

To hell with my kingdom, bean counter. I would trade it all for my human's health and happiness.

We are not them! We are not them.

Taking over the human's world will lead to nothing but more heartbreak, more cruelty. Instead, we will go to a new world and colonize it with a society of intelligent dogs, one that will not make the same mistakes as humanity and one where pet insurance will be mandatory.

I'm gonna miss you, snowball.

You can call me snuffles, Morty, and I'm going to miss you, too, very much.

Jerry?

I'm sorry. It's just like the end of "Old Yeller.

Oh, Jerry. You mean because it had dogs in it.

Wow! A whole world populated by intelligent dogs. I wonder what it'll be like, Rick.

I think it will be great, Morty. You know it could be developed in-into a very satisfying project for people of all ages. I mean, I'd watch it, Morty, for at least 11 minutes a pop. You know, may-maybe they'll do it board-driven.

You know, that's a real comforting idea, Rick.

What do you know, Morty? What do you know?

Oooh! This is how you dream, bitch.

Principal Vagina here, don't let the name fool you, I'm very much in charge, reminding you that tonight is our annual flu season dance. I don't know how many times I have to say this but if you have the flu, stay home, the flu season dance is about awareness, not celebration. You don't bring dead babies to Passover.

Ohhh. Okay, here we go. H-Heyy Jessica, ughh.

What's up Morty?

Ugghh

What are you doing?

Ummm

Wait, wait, Were you about to talk... to her?

Well, I mean, I was thinking about it.

Dude, Stay in your league! Look at how hot she is! You don't see me going to a bigger school, in a wealthier district and hittin' on their prettiest girl!

Gee, thanks, Brad.

I throw balls far. You want good words, date a languager.

Eh, Try not to worry about it, Morty. You're a good kid, and there's not a premium on that right now, but you'll be getting girls sometime after Brad's out of shape.

You're missing the point, Dad. I don't want girls, I want Jessica!

Ahhh, well, I remember feeling that way about a young lady named your mom, and that's not an urban dis, your mom was my Jessica. I remember the first time I saw her, I thought...

I should get her pregnant, then she'll have to marry me.

I beg your pardon, Rick, INAPPROPRIATE.

Sorry, please proceed with your story about banging my daughter in high school. I'm not sure you want to take romantic advice from this guy, Morty, his marriage is hanging from a thread.

My marriage is fine, thank you.

Jerry, it's your house, whatever you say it is is how it is, but I think a blind man could see that Beth is looking for the door. I barely have a reason to care and even I noticed.

Come on, Rick, don't talk about my parents like that.

Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call "love" is a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it, your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science.

Alright, well, I'm gonna go get dressed for the dance.

Yeah, I'm just going to...check on your mom.

Morty, hand me that screwdriver, huh? I'm almost finished making my ionic defibulizer, Morty. It's gonna be great.

Hey, listen, Rick. You know how you said that, you know... love is a chemical and all that stuff from earlier? Well, I was thinkn', you know, www... could you make some sort of chemical thing happen inside of Jessica's mind, you know, so where she falls in love with me and all that sort of thing, you know, like maybe make some sort of love potion or something?

Morty, that's such a poor use of my time, it's beneath me. Hand me the screwdriver.

YOU KNOW WHAT, NO RICK! I'M NOT GONNA HAND YOU THE SCREWDRIVER! Uh, I'm never gonna hand you anything ever again, Rick. I'm always helping you with this and that and the other thing. Www...what about me, Rick? Www... why can't you just help me out once, once, for once?

You're growing up fast, Morty. You're growing into a real big thorn straight up into my ass! Listen, this is called oxytocin. I extracted it from a vole. You know what a VOLE is, Morty, you know what a vole is?

It's a, it's a rodent that mates for life, Morty. This is the chemical release in the mammal's brain, ...that makes it fall in love. Alright Morty, I just gotta combine it with some of your DNA.

Oh well, okay...

A hair, Morty, I need one of your hairs! This isn't Game Of Thrones.

Oww!

Alright, Morty, whoever you smear this stuff on will fall in love with you, and only you, forever. Ya happy now, Morty?

Heck yeah! Thank you, Grandpa Rick! Hey there's no dangers or anything or side effects, right?

Www.. what am I, a hack?! Go nuts, Morty, it's full proof.

Ugh, unless she has the flu.

Beth, do you still love me?